The Pulse 13.38 » September 22, 2016 by Brewer Media Group

SEPTEMBER 22, 2016

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

Drinking Around The World OUR RESIDENT CHEF SAMPLES UNUSUAL BEVERAGES FROM THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH…AND SURVIVES TO TELL THE TALE By Mike McJunkin

"WAYNE-O-RAMA" • DRINK: NIGHTCLUB GUIDE • ROUGH HOUSING

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Contents

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com

September 22, 2016 Volume 13, Issue 38

Assistant Editor Brooke Dorn Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors David Traver Adolphus • Adam Beckett Rob Brezsny • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Mike McJunkin Angela Naeth • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach

Features

Editorial Interns Alyson McGowan • Colin Moran

4 BEGINNINGS: An inside view of this weekend's Ironman competition.

Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

5 THE LIST: Student loan numbers. 7 AIR BAG: Two car companies reach the century mark of existence.

FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Rick Leavell Libby Phillips • John Rodriguez Logan Vandergriff • Joseph Yang

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2016 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

14 ARTS CALENDAR

Drinking Around the World

Holding a shot of Thai rum inches from my nose, my new Chinese friend grinned and shouted, “Gan bei! Gan bei” into my ear, trying to make himself heard above the Thai metal band’s screaming guitar.

Kicking Off “Wayne-O-Rama”

Ready to dig some Wayne White? The year-long celebration of Hixson native Wayne White’s work, Wayne-O-Rama, kicks off this Saturday at Glass House LIVE 2016.

Roughhousing for the Right Reasons

When someone gets you in a headlock, that person is probably either a total stranger—and in that case, you might be being mugged—or is very close to you, like an older brother. (Or, you and that person are professional wrestlers.)

15 DRINK NIGHTCLUB GUIDE 36 SCREEN: Just when you thought it was safe to get lost in the woods again. 40 MUSIC CALENDAR 42 REVIEWS: Nora Jane Struthers Wake, Jade Alger Unfolding The Muse. 43 MIXOLOGY: Learning the history of one of the world’s favorite spirits. 44 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 45 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 46 ON THE BEAT: Officer Alex comes to terms with being awake in the daylight. 47 DIVERSIONS

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BEGINNINGS

NEWS • VIEWS • RANTS • RAVES

UPDATES » CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM FACEBOOK/CHATTANOOGAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Race Prep for Chattanooga's Ironman An inside view of one of the most difficult athletic events of the year Any advice I’ve ever received during my years of racing always came down to the following: have a plan, be flexible, take care of what you can control and stay positive. No race ever goes as planned. You might get a flat ANGELA tire, you might miss the swim pack, you might get blisters. You need to be mentally prepared for anything and roll with it. Have an execution plan (with nutrition, strategy, heart rate/pace) but realize that not everything is controllable.

In triathlons, anything can happen. That’s a scary concept for some of us! Those who embrace the challenge are the ones who have great performances. Here are some of my tips for preparing for a race. Have a plan. NAETH My coach, Jesse, and I go over a race plan before every race. We talk race dynamics, go over nutrition strategies and the goals for the day. We are always focused on what we might be able to control and make sure to be flexible. As I said, no race will ever

CITY LIFE

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“Those who embrace the challenge are the ones who have great performances.” go as planned. Accepting this and embracing it will allow you to excel come race day. My plan has become very dialed in with the three most important variables: nutrition, fluids and pacing. Patience. In the past I used to be frantic. I would come from the back of the pack in the swim and bust a move as fast as I could on the bike to get to the front. Now I stay patient and use my strength on the bike to get to T2 confidently and set myself up for a good run. Control your thoughts. Your mind is a simple yet powerful tool. I find that my best races are those where I’m able to clear my mind of unhelpful thoughts and just execute. I practice this in training by using positive words and phrases that I repeat over and over to help me achieve this. “I am strong” is one that I use often and helps me maintain a positive headspace no matter what happens. Gratitude. Focus on being thankful for everyone who has helped you get to the start line. As triathletes, we should all be grateful for our health and the opportunity to race. When things get tough, I remind myself that no one is forcing me to do this. I’m very grateful for my body,

support team, family, friends, sponsors and competitors. Without any of them, I’d never have the chance to do this. Be grateful for what you get to do and share it! Develop a race day ritual. Developing your own unique race day ritual that you practice before each race can be helpful on race day. It can keep you calm and focused on the task at hand. For me, I have a set plan about a week out of the race—this includes the items I pack, what I eat and a general time schedule leading into the race. It’s consistent for every race and provides me with a sense of calm. The key to a great race is staying calm and ready to perform. If you have a good plan and remember to stay positive, you’ll have a much better experience. Every race, I look at the sunrise and thank everyone for helping me get there with a healthy body. It puts me in the best mindset possible for the race.

The List

EdiToon by Rob Rogers

The Student Loan Crisis by Numbers

One of the major economic debates raging over the past few years has been the ever-growing burden of student loan debt.

Getting Kids Exercising With IRONKIDS The Ironman competition is back in Chattanooga. This Sunday, the grueling race returns to Chattanooga for the eleventh race in the 2016 Ironman U.S. Series. But this Thursday, it’s time for the younger athletes to take their turn with the UnitedHealthcare IRONKIDS Fun Run. This is the fifth year UnitedHealthcare is supporting IRONKIDS as part of the company’s commitment to help

stem the rising tide of childhood obesity through healthy lifestyles. There are 76 IRONKIDS races across the globe this year, for kids ages 3 to 14. The Chattanooga event kicks off at Ross’s Landing starting at 6 p.m. There will be two races with distances of 1 mile, and ½ mile. The price is $15 per runner. This is a great opportunity to give young athletes the opportunity to

IN THIS ISSUE

Mike McJunkin Longtime Pulse food columnist and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has gained considerable experience with food through his obsessive habit of eating several times each and every day. Along the way he has trained chefs, owned and

experience the atmosphere, the challenge and the fun of running in the Ironman competition, as well as promoting a healthy lifestyle and staying active. Parents and family are encouraged to stay and cheer on their athlete and to enjoy all the beautiful scenery that lovely downtown Chattanooga has to offer. Supporters of the race are also encouraged to stay engaged with the scene on social media by posting photos and videos from the race using the hashtag #UHCIRONKIDS — Colin Moran

Janis Hashe operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. He currently lives abroad, exploring native cuisines throughout Southeast Asia. He can tell you what balut tastes like, what it’s like to eat pork blood boat noodles on the streets of Thailand and how to cure bacon in a loft apartment. He is also quite active on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits

Feature columnist, travel writer and our former contributing editor Janis Hashe has been both a staff editor and a freelance writer/editor for more than 25 years. Her work has appeared in the Los Angeles Times, the Atlanta JournalConstitution, AmericanStyle

magazine, Sunset magazine, and the international magazine Monocle, among many other outlets. She has a master’s degree in theatre arts, is the founder of Shakespeare Chattanooga and a member of the Chattanooga Zen Group. Her novel The Ex-Club Tong Pang was published in 2013 (we think it’s a great novel, but we may be just a wee bit biased). Pick up a copy today, and tell all your friends about it.

But just how bad is it? Here are the numbers from the Federal Reserve Board, Chronicle of Higher Education, and College Board. • Average student loan debt: $30,000 • Percent of college students who borrow annually to help cover costs: 60% • Average number of college students who borrow annually: 12,250,000 • Approximate number of student loan borrowers with outstanding loans today: 39,500,000 • Total amount of outstanding student loan debt in the United States: $1,100,000,000,000 • Profit generated from student loan debt each year: $20,360,000,000 A number of presidential candidates have made it a major campaign issue, with lots of plans and proposals to ameliorate the problem. We'll just have to wait and see of anything ends up being done. Source: www.statisticbrain.com/ student-loan-debt-statistics

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 5

COLUMN AIR BAG

Joining The Elite Century Club 2,300 car companies have launched, but only two have hit the century mark

DAVID TRAVER ADOLPHUS

“

By keeping their firms in the family, Ford and Morgan have been able to follow their own course without surrendering influence to noncar people and outside money.”

David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old AND new cars. Follow him on Twitter as @proscriptus.

The car that made a company famous: the Model T

Ford, and Morgan. It’s an unlikely pair: the conservative, patriarchal American ur-manufacturer and the family of English handcrafters. What is the secret that has allowed these car companies to be the only ones that have gone through most of the 20th Century with their identities intact? It’s a bit of everything. With the Model T, Ford built up such an enormous head start in the Teens and early Twenties that no amount of mismanagement or Nazi sympathizing—and there was plenty of both—could erase their advantage. Founded in 1903, Henry Ford was

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company President on and off (his son Edsel ran the company from 1919 through 1943, when Henry finally broke his heart and badgered him to death) until after World War II. (General Motors was in a similar position but wasn’t incorporated as we know it today until October 1916. It’ll join the list in about two weeks.) Wartime military production benefitted large companies more than small and when Henry retired for good in 1945, another Ford stepped into the leadership, followed by Henry Ford II and today’s Executive Chairman, William Clay Ford, Jr.

While Henry Ford came from a poor farm family and built his first engine at home, Englishman Henry Frederick Stanley Morgan, known as HFS, was the well-off son of an Anglican reverend, whose father actively supported Harry’s career. After apprenticing as a draughtsman for a railway engineer, he constructed his first lightweight three-wheel cyclecar in 1908-’09, inventing a sliding-pillar front suspension they use to this day. He intended the car only for personal use but the interest it attracted and his father’s urging, had him selling cars by 1910, with the Morgan Motor Company

A pair of classic Morgan roadsters

officially incorporated in 1912. His son Peter took over the chairmanship when HFS died in 1959; followed by Peter’s son Charles in 1999. Charles was ousted by Morgan’s Board of Directors in 2013, but the company remains privately owned by the Morgans. The family history of both companies is an obvious parallel, but they could otherwise scarcely have less in common. Ford’s philosophy was one of total control, famously owning the mines where their iron was extracted and the forests where wood was harvested. In 1923, Ford sold 2,011,125 Model T’s. This was also a high point of Prewar production for Morgan, which cranked out 2,300 cars, approximately 1/1000th of Ford’s volume. Morgan’s most successful model ever, the Plus 8, was built from 1968-2004 and they sold 6,000 of them. In 2004, Ford was selling over 2,500 F-series pickups a day. Ford builds the Fiesta; a 37-foot long, 13,000-pound F-750; and everything in between. Morgan’s largest car, the 2,600-pound Aero 8, is lighter than almost every Fiesta variant and is their only car that isn’t made out of wood. Their popu-

lar new 3-wheeler weighs just 1,157 pounds. But there is one other thing in common: Neither company has ever declared bankruptcy. Ford took $5.9 billion in low-cost federal loans, but wasn’t bailed out like GM and Chrysler; and Charles Morgan was kicked out because the board felt he was leading them into financial disaster. By keeping their firms in the family, Ford (although publicly traded, various Ford family members and trusts own most of it) and Morgan have been able to follow their own course without surrendering influence to non-car people and outside money. Their continuity and deep knowledge of not just the industry, but their place in it, has given them the confidence and resources to pursue their own different but distinct paths. Both only make vehicles, although Ford did once make some very fine aircraft. Whether it’s drive, foresight, luck or a unique place in history, Ford and Morgan have done the nearly impossible and between them amassed 225 years of independent operation, while making some extraordinary cars. They’re one in a thousand, and there are no other companies like them. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 7

COVER STORY

Drinking Around The World Our resident chef samples unusual beverages from the four corners of the earth…and survives to tell the tale By Mike McJunkin, Pulse food columnist

olding a shot of Thai rum inches from my nose, my new Chinese friend grinned and shouted, “Gan bei! Gan bei” into my ear, trying to make himself heard above the Thai metal band’s screaming guitar. “Gan bei!” he screamed again, “It mean finish glass!” And with that he and his entire crew of thirty-something Chinese tourists threw yet another oversized shot glass of Sangsom down their throats, carefully watching to ensure I followed suit.

Nothing says "Greece" quite like Ouzo

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I tossed back the shot—the fifth in less than 15 minutes—fully aware of the consequences that I knew were as inevitable as the sunrise that would accompany them. But this was no time for pondering consequences, this was a time to drink, and these guys were drinking as if they were going to win something. We didn’t share a culture and we certainly didn’t share a language, but we did have a common understanding of what it means to share a drink, and the near universal delight in that seemingly small, but powerful sociocultural act. Having a drink, specifically an alcoholic drink, is so commonplace around the world, it nearly qualifies for what Claude Lévi-Strauss referred to as a “cultural universal” or something that is common to all cultures, worldwide. In fact, the act of feeding your head with alcohol goes back to before humans even existed. Our capacity for metabolizing alcohol originated in some of the first primates about ten million years ago when an enzyme called ADH4 showed up to party—and by party I mean the ability to digest and enjoy the effects of alcohol.

Those early primates got their buzz (and much needed calories) from fermented fruit or palm nectar, but modern hominids all over the globe have put an enormous amount of investigation and creativity into producing a variety of head-spinning spirits. This means that almost anywhere you go in the world, there will be someone with a bottle of the local, magic elixir that they are itching to pour into a small glass. Thailand If you’ve been to Thailand, you’ve certainly had Sangsom—an extremely popular, hangover inducing, sugar cane based liquor that’s blended with grain alcohol and infused with herbs, spices and the tears of 1000 backpackers. If rum and whiskey got into a fight in your glass, and rum peed itself—that’s what Sangsom tastes like. But if you start poking around deep inside Thailand’s homebrew rabbit hole you’re bound to pull up a glass of Yadong. Yadong is a frighteningly potent, herbal Thai moonshine that’s made by fermenting lao khao, (a white rice liquor that tastes like prison sake), with herbs and roots. After

A Yadong vendor serves up a wide variety of tasty beverages

putting down five, 15 baht shots (about 50¢ US each ) of this throatshredding, apocalyptic liquid at a roadside bar cart in Bangkok, I temporarily lost control over the impulses normally curbed by legal disincentives and social inhibitions. Yadong should be served room temperature with a bowl of peanuts and bail money. Vietnam If you love cheap draft beer, then Northern Vietnam, particularly Hanoi, is calling your name. Bia hoi, which loosely translates to “fresh beer,” is a feather light lager that’s made fresh every night, delivered to bars and shops at daybreak, and sold out of plastic jugs before it turns to rancid mop water the following morning like Cinderella’s chariot fridge champagne. At about 8,000 Vietnamese

dong per glass (about 35¢ US) it’s the world’s cheapest beer, which explains the literal, heaving sea of humanity that descends on Bia Hoi Corner in Hanoi’s Old Quarter every night to sit on ground-level plastic stools, laugh with friends and wash down spectacularly good street snacks with this very drinkable, very unique beer of questionable origin. While you’re in Hanoi, stop by the small village of “Lê Mât” which, I believe, translates to “Noooo!!!” from the Latin for “Hell Nooo!!” Lê Mât is known as the snake village, because the locals have spent generations catching snakes and shoving them into bottles of rice based grain alcohol filled with a variety of lizards, insects, birds (with feathers), bones, or ancient mythical creatures to make “snake wine.”

Drink it straight or have a snake wine and fresh cobra blood shot, then chase that down with a fresh cobra bile and snake wine apéritif. The turpentine taste and muscle cramps means it’s working. India Although one-fifth of India’s 1.2 billion people live in states where drinking alcohol is banned or restricted, determined tipplers regularly travel across state lines to enjoy the country’s vast assortment of readily available, local and imported spirits. Goa, for example, is home to a unique liquor called Cashew Feni that’s made from cashew apples and spent plutonium. This stuff is STRONG with a capital RONG and tastes like a combination of fruit, grain alcohol, and death. Mix continued on page 10

“

Our capacity for metabolizing alcohol originated in some of the first primates about ten million years ago when an enzyme called ADH4 showed up to party—and by party I mean the ability to digest and enjoy the effects of alcohol.”

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COVER STORY A nice healthy bowl of fresh made Airag direct from the steppes of Mongoilia.

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The taste can vary depending on factors such as the food the mares eat and the age of the stomach it’s fermented in, but imagine a thin, slightly chunky, soured yogurt with an equine piss finish.”

it with a splash of bitters, or a twist of lime to help prevent total palate destruction. In the northeastern state of Assam you can find a fermented rice beer called Apong. To create this intriguing beer-ish beverage, rice is roasted until it burns black, then fermented before being preserved with one of the hottest chilies in the world, the Bhut Jolokia pepper. Apong is perfect for the drinker who likes their beer toecurlingly potent with a sweet, mace-like finish. Mongolia Mongolians love horses. They ride them, they eat them, and they milk them (don’t get ahead of me). Airag is the traditional, national beverage of Mongolia and yes, it’s made from mare’s milk. The milk is filtered

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through a cloth, then poured into a cow’s stomach and hung on the left-hand side of the entrance of the yurt until it gets to about five percent alcoholic content. This is the side that represents masculinity, which makes sense since men can usually be counted on to do something questionable like ferment mare’s milk to get drunk. Mongolian hospitality dictates that each visitor be presented with a bowl of Airag. Your amygdala dictates that you take a sip to avoid insulting your hosts when you’re hundreds of miles from anything, sitting in a yurt, surrounded by Mongolian nomads. The taste can vary depending on factors such as the food the mares eat and the age of the stomach it’s fermented in, but imagine a thin, slightly chunky,

soured yogurt with an equine piss finish. Protip: if not fermented properly, Airag causes whatever solids are inside you to shuffle on down your intestine and head for the southern exit with no concern for the lack of toilets on the Mongolian steppe. Iceland Srah Srang, Cambodia is the last place you’d expect to find an Icelandic traditional schnapps, but five minutes after I met Benedikt and Ásgeir from Borgarfjörður, a bottle of Brennivín had been produced from their backpack. Ten minutes and three shots later, I had a clear idea of why this drink is referred to as “Black Death” and had to resist the urge to smash the bottle over my skull while singing Icelandic death metal songs about puffins.

Brennivín is a schnapps-ish beverage distilled from potatoes, which doesn’t sound too bad, but caraway seeds have been added, seemingly for the sole purpose of making it taste like mild rye licorice and bubonic plague. It’s often paired with Icelandic fermented shark (hakarl), because Brennivín is perfectly engineered to make you forget the taste of fermented fish urine and rotted shark meat. If you’re into akvavit or the taste of liquid bleurgh, Brennivín might be your thing. Björk makes so much more sense to me now. Greece Any trip to Greece isn’t complete without ouzo. In fact, I believe part of the 1954 NATO enlargement agreement states that anytime small fresh fish, olives and feta cheese appear on a NATO member state plate, it must be accompanied by a glass of the anise flavored aperitif (enforcement is, unfortunately, limited). Ouzo is considered by many Greeks to be an abiding symbol of Greek culture; many visitors, however, consider ouzo to be an abiding reminder of tongue-ravaging flavors and devastating Greek island hangovers. Ouzo is distilled from grapes and good ouzo (not the Greek island party fuel) is known to come from Lesvos. Ouzo emerged when Greeks started flavoring tsipouro with a variety of herbs and spices such as anise, fennel, cloves, and a bouquet of other aromatics. It’s very strong—about 45 percent alcohol—and the flavors deliver as much of a punch as the alcohol, so there is wisdom in the strategy of drinking it traditionally—with

Greek food. Try it with grilled small fish, olives and a good feta and keep NATO off your back. Costa Rica The one thing you don’t want after a full day of sloth-spotting, volcano climbing, and prostitute dodging, is an aggressive drink, pushing its agenda on your taste buds. Cacique Guaro, the official liquor and national pride of Costa Rica, is there for you, prepared to accept whatever you throw its way with a welcoming smile and warm liquid hug. But don’t let the “pura vida” attitude fool you into thinking this drink is only for tour bus aunties and spring break buttchuggers. Manufactured from sugar cane juice, Guaro is potent, crystal clear, and tastes like mildly sweetened paint thinner. Although some take it neat, it’s usually mixed with juice, fruit, or soda rather than thrown back in straight shots. I recommend the sweet, basil and mint bite of a Guaro Sour, but if you insist on doing shots, the chiliguaro made with casique, lime juice and hot sauce will get you on the fast track to oblivion faster than you can say, “No puedo encontrar mis pantalones!” China Remember way back at the beginning of this article when I was drinking with those Chinese guys in the northern Thai rock bar? That night took a Tarantino turn when an unassuming red labeled bottle was pulled from a messenger bag with the enthusiasm of a magician pulling a rabbit from a top hat.

Three Penis Liquor. Really.

“Tezhi Sanbian Jiu,” he said, passing me the bottle with an almost guilty grin. The guy next to me leaned in and matter-of-factly translated the label, “Chinese Three Penis Liquor. Made with seal, deer and dog penis,” because, of course, one penis liquor would just be silly. I knew that Chinese medicine had used animal schlongs as allnatural Viagra for centuries, but had no idea that some brilliant booze connoisseur had concocted the perfect way to get completely Chevy Chased without the depressing side effect of whiskey wick. Apparently, those specific animal winkies were chosen for their particular ability to give that extra boost of vitality a single human penis sometimes can’t muster on its own. Just what I wanted for a night out on the town, an unsolicited full salute when there’s been

a clear “at ease” command. There are vast expanses of time missing from that night’s memory, but the moment I took a shot of this penis palliative is crystal clear to this day. It was a tad sweet with molasses undertones and I detected a slight hint of fruit—at first. But then, a taste of sherry that had been distilled in a 19th century bathhouse jumped to the front of the line, dragging a prolonged smoky finish with it that brought out all the gamey flavors of the penis trifecta. Because if you’re going to drink penis liquor, you want to know there’s penis in there and you haven’t been ripped off by someone trying to pass off one or two penis liquor on unsuspecting three penis customers. That would be a real turn off. Please direct all of your The League jokes to penisliquor@ dontdoit.com.

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ARTS SCENE

Maybe Now He’ll Get the Respect He Richly Deserves

Getting smART For Art And Literature The smART: Auction + Benefit helps the SoLit Alliance This Thursday evening at 6:30 p.m., a stylishly curated art auction of original work by a variety of regional artists is being held at The Venue Chattanooga on Cummings Hwy. The proceeds from the evening benefit Southern Lit Alliance’s highimpact community outreach programs such as the Reading Groups at Bradley County Jail, Revitalibrary at Moccasin Bend Mental Health Institute, and Writers in Classrooms at Hamilton County schools. The Southern Lit Alliance is a longstanding Chattanooga literary arts organization established in the 1950’s by a Ford Foundation grant. Along with twelve other organizations founded at the same, it is the only one remaining at the grand old age of 63. Southern Lit Alliance believes in

the transcendent power of literature to inspire, connect, and uplift. They connect individuals and communities through extensive programs and stewardship in the literary arts. Included at the auction will be delicious catering by SwissAm, funky music sourced by SoundCorps, and libations by Riverside Wine & Spirits. Tickets are $50 for regular admission or $75 for VIP. The VIP includes early entry and bidding at 6 p.m. as well as access to an exclusive balcony liquor bar and music. — Colin Moran smART: Auction and Benefit Thursday, 6:30 p.m. The Venue Chattanooga 4119 Cummings Hwy. (423) 994-2272 southernlitalliance.org/smart

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Year-long “Wayne-O-Rama” event kicks off at Glass Street LIVE 2016

EADY TO DIG SOME WAYNE WHITE? THE YEAR-LONG celebration of Hixson native Wayne White’s work, Wayne-ORama, kicks off this Saturday at Glass House LIVE 2016. The incubation of Wayne-O-Rama has taken years, but promises to be one of the biggest arts events Chattanooga has ever seen.

Arts JANIS HASHE

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The incubation of WayneO-Rama has taken years, but promises to be one of the biggest arts events Chattanooga has ever seen.”

A press release for White’s book, Maybe Now I’ll Get the Respect I So Richly Deserve, arrived in The Pulse’s office in 2009. A cover story on White, including his iconic work on Pee-wee’s Playhouse, album cover designs, and thrift-store painting projects followed, which led to a sponsored book signing, which led to a meeting of way-out-there minds between White and Chattanooga’s own Shaking Ray Levi Society. Says Shaking Ray Bob Stagner: “Growing up in Chattanooga and attending Brainerd High school [SRLS co-founder, the late] Dennis Palmer and I knew other like-minded students from other schools. The [late] Reverend Terry Fugate was a classmate of Wayne’s. We kept up with his work and career as we formed the Shaking Ray Levi Society…We connected immediately with music, art, and humor. “We had faced the same prejudices, being from the South, and had been deeply influenced by the stresses of our time— Vietnam, social unrest, assassination, extremely limited options for leading a creative life. The positives were growing up in a place where the rest of the world might see as another planet. Now, 30 years later we welcome our Chattanooga

PULSE PICKS

brother home to be honored and have a chance to say thank you for all the greatness of our evolving city, the South, and home.” The Shaking Rays began collaborating longdistance with White, now based in Los Angeles, and the concept for Wayne-O-Rama evolved. This first event epitomizes what White wanted from the beginning, says Glass House Collective Director of Operations Zach Atchley—multi-level community involvement. With a grant from the Educational Foundation of America, and in conjunction with the National Park Centennial Celebration, Glass House LIVE celebrates not only White, with his 12-to-14 marionettes of Confederate Gen. Patrick Cleburne and Union Gen. Tecumseh Sherman (created for the event), but the reopening of the 50-acre Sherman Reservation on Missionary Ridge, with a quarter-mile parade highlighting new access points on a trail constructed to connect the Sherman Reservation National Park to Glass Street. CARTA will be providing a shuttle to the bottom of the trail. Atchley notes that Chattanooga artists from multiple disciplines are participating, listing “local puppet-maker Colleen Laliberte [and others],

Flashlight Shows curating the puppet parade, musician Nick Lutsko, music on the Jazzanooga stage, buskers through SoundCore, art exhibits, pop-up stores and food” as part of what will be a giant block party. White is donating the giant marionettes to the Glass Street Collective, says Atchley, to be used in years to come in student history projects. Glass House LIVE 2016, however, is just the start of Wayne-O-Rama, which will include an indoor Southside installation at 1800 Rossville Ave., feature segments on WTCI, a solo exhibition at the Hunter Museum, and multiple collaborations with Hamilton County schools. White explained in a recent Bitter Southerner interview: “Of course, this is also my bid to be a part of the great Chattanooga tourist-trap tradition.” For more information about Wayne-O-Rama, visit wayneorama.com and face-book.com/WayneoramaCHA. But first, head to Glass Street on Saturday and get you some Wayne. Glass House LIVE 2016, 11 a.m.- 4 p.m., Saturday, Sept. 24. Free. Event begins at 11 a.m. at the corner of Glass St. and Dodson Ave. For more information, visit Glass House LIVE 2016’s Facebook event page.

THU9.22

FRI9.23

SAT9.24

FOR THE ANIMALS

TALL TALES

HOPPING FUN

Ales & Tails

Hal Holbrook: Mark Twain Tonight

The Rooftop Hop

It's Chattanooga’s wildest happy hour event where you can enjoy a cash bar, hors d’oeuvres, animal encounters, and more. 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org

“Mark Twain never stops surprising me,” says Holbrook. “He keeps firing me up.” 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 tivolichattanooga.com

Eat. Drink. Mingle. Hop. Repeat. In celebration of their 5th year, they're changing it up with only 300 people but more activities. 5 p.m. Green Spaces 63 E. Main St. (423) 648-0963 therooftophop.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 13

ARTS CALENDAR THURSDAY9.22 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m. Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com St. Elmo Farmers Market 4 p.m. Incline Railway 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Nature Nuts: Goldenrod Jungle 5 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423)267-3474 tnaqua.org Homebuyer Orientation 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Neighborhood Enterprise 1500 Chestnut St. #102 (423) 756-6201 cneinc.org Ales & Tails 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org smART: Auction and Benefit 6:30 p.m.

14 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Fiddler on the Roof The Venue Chattanooga 4119 Cummings Hwy. (423) 994-2272 southernlitalliance.org Beyond Illustration: Meaning & Memory Through the Work of Harvey Dunn 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Fiddler on the Roof 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Landry 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

SPOTLIGHT: LANDRY His charismatic style is kind of what you’d get if you mixed Charlie Chaplin with somebody who spoke; it would be just as physical, but in color. Landry The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Opening Night Strauss & Rachmaninoff 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583 chattanoogasymphony.org

FRIDAY9.23 World Canine Disc Championships 10 a.m. Coolidge Park 150 River St. (423) 757-2143 skyhoundz.com Cambridge Square Night Market 5 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. chattanoogamarket.com

Landry 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Fiddler on the Roof 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Hal Holbrook: Mark Twain Tonight 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 tivolichattanooga.com

SATURDAY9.24 D9's Tin Cup Golf Tournament 7 a.m. Bear Trace at Harrison Bay 8919 Harrison Bay Rd. (423) 883-5633 Mid-South Sculpture Alliance ConFab 9 a.m. Sculpture Fields at Montague Park 1100 E. 16th St. (423) 266-7288 sculpturefields.org Hamilton County Fair 10 a.m. Chester Frost Park 2318 Gold Point Cir. North (423) 842-0177 hamiltontn.gov/fair Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m.

DRINK FALL 2016

courtesy of

The Chattanooga Pulse

16 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

DRINK FALL 2016

courtesy of

The Chattanooga Pulse

BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II

EDITORIAL Managing Editor Gary Poole Assistant Editor Brooke Dorn Contributors Adam Beckett Bruce Cox Alyson McGowan Colin Moran Michael Turner Cover Illustration Free Vector

DRINK

FALL 2016

ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Rick Leavell Libby Phillips • John Rodriguez Logan Vandergriff • Joseph Yang

CONTACT Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT Chattanooga Drink is published biannually by The Pulse and Brewer Media. Chattanooga Drink is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. Chattanooga Drink is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue, please. © 2016 Brewer Media

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

Inside This Issue The Brewhaus ......................................... 18 Raw Bar & Grill ...................................... 19 Jim Beam Apple .................................... 20 Bar & Nightclub Directory .................... 21 Chattanooga's Top Cocktails ................ 24

AmeriPride ............................................ 29 Southern Burger Co. ............................. 30 Old Chicago Pizza & Taproom .............. 31 New Amsterdam Vodka ....................... 32

THE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 17

DRINK FALL 2016

The Brewhaus

he Brewhaus on Chattanooga’s North Shore is approaching their fifth anniversary and will be celebrating it alongside their 5th Annual Oktoberfest Party. For those unfortunate few who don’t know of Brewhaus, it’s the only pub of its kind in Chattanooga; in fact, it is the only pub in town where you will find authentic German food. We’re talking some seriously delicious sauerkraut here, people. Some visitors have gone so far as to say that the quality of the menu items at Brewhaus is better than what you would find in Germany itself. Of course, you’ll only know for sure once you experience it yourself, and with the specials Brewhaus offers, there isn’t a wrong time to try it out. Specials include $3 half liters on Mondays, Live Team Trivia on Tuesdays, Wednesday beer tastings with live music from Dan Pinson and Running for Brews, German Wine Nights on Thursdays (starting in October), and Sunday Brunch 18 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

with $3 Mimosas and 15 percent off drafts, cocktails, cans and bottles. They have a special every day of the week which changes every few months, so you never know what kind of deal you’ll get when visiting the restaurant. Which is all the more reason to visit frequently. Perfectly positioned on the North Shore, Brewhaus caters to a large patronage of both local and tourist visitors. Tourists are blown away, while locals know just where to go for their German eats. Along with amazing food, Brewhaus also has an incredible selection of American and German draft beers. Offering twelve beers on tap and over 30 bottle selections. Two of their most popular German beers are Schneidier–Weisse and Riessdorf–Kolsch. Go out on a limb and try one! We’re sure the bartender could suggest one hell of a pairing for you to enjoy. With the laid back atmosphere Brewhaus sports, it’s the perfect setting for Chattanoogans to grab a cold one and just kick back.

DRINK FALL 2016

Raw Bar & Grill L

ocated downtown on Market Street, you’ll find Raw Bar and Grill. The only dance club in the city that has video mapped 3D walls, Raw surrounds it’s partiers with more music and color than they can imagine. Two DJ’s that mix the latest dance tunes and best mix of music in Chattanooga, keeping the entire place on its feet all night long. For those who would like to take a seat in style, there is a VIP area that overlooks the dance floor and features direct bar access. You’ll want that direct bar access because when it comes to drink specials, they have one for practi-

cally every day of the week so you won’t be alone in asking the bartender for a drink or two…or five. For those of you working in the service industry, stop by in your work uniform or bring in a pay stub to get $2 domestic longnecks, $3 well liquor, $5 Fireball and 10 percent off menu items. On Friday and Saturdays, they also have “Power Hour” from 10 to 11 p.m. where domestic longnecks are only $1.50. After you’ve gathered some liquid courage, head up to the second floor where the dance floor is open Thursday nights (with no cover charge) as well as Friday and Satur-

day nights. Beyond the DJ’s, Raw features live music. The best local and regional bands play live music every weekend and occasionally during the week. Check out the calendar on their website to see who is playing when and what time so you can plan your next night out. Besides the entertainment, Raw has a full menu of great foods and drink specials as well. From pizza

and calzones to hoagies, wings, and many more appetizers, it’s safe to say you won’t be nibbling on peanuts to sober up, but rather enjoying a beautiful pizza pie. If you are looking for a place in Chattanooga to dance all night long, throw back some fantastic drinks, and finish it off with some killer food before you climb in that Uber, check out Raw.

THE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 19

DRINK FALL 2016

Jim Beam Apple

remium bourbon meets the juicy refreshment of apple in Jim Beam Apple. Enjoy our newest family member straight, on the rocks or with club soda and a lemon wedge. Jim Beam and apple have come together to make history. Mix your next party in a fresh new way. Try with club soda with a squeeze of lemon for a crisp combination. It’s a refreshing cocktail that’s ready in seconds and perfect for any occasion and all seasons. Surprisingly smooth and deliciously different. Juicy but not overpowering, it retains a rich bourbon core. Perfect for whiskey fans, it’s sure to tempt those looking for a cocktail that’s refreshing and new. Jim Beam Apple Mule • 2 parts Jim Beam Apple • 4 mint leaves (1 bundle) • 1/2 part Apple Cider • Fill with ginger beer Muddle mint leaves with cider. Add bourbon and Ice. Shake. Strain 20 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

into mule glass filled with ice. Top with ginger beer. Add green apple garnish. Beam Orchard Twist • 1 part Jim Beam Apple • 1 part Cranberry Juice • A splash of Club Soda • Lime Wedge Build over ice in a tall highball glass. Garnish with a lime wedge. Jim Beam Hot Apple • 1 part Jim Beam Apple • Hot Cider • Whipped Cream Build in a heat proof mug. Top with whipped cream. Jim Beam Apple is the perfect balance of premium apple liqueur and bourbon of distinction, the result is rich with American heritage but with a light, juicy twist. Try some today and you’ll never look at bourbon—or apples—the same way.

Chattanooga Fall 2016 Bar & Nightclub Directory 1885 Grill 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 485-3050 1885grill.com 212 Market Restaurant 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212 212market.com 3rd Deck Burger Bar 201 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 266-4488 chattanoogariverboat.com Abuelo’s 2102 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 855-7400 abuelos.com Acropolis Mediterranean Grill 2213 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 899-5341 acropolisgrill.com AGM Restaurant & Lounge 1622 Dodds Ave. (423) 508-8107 Alan Gold’s Discotheque 1100 McCallie Ave. (423) 629-8080 alangolds.com Alleia 25 E. Main St. (423) 305-6990 alleiarestaurant.com Amigo Mexican Restaurant 5794 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-5435 5450 Hwy. 153 (423) 875-8049 1906 Dayton Blvd.

We strive to make our listings accurate, but things change. We recommend you call in advance or visit websites before visiting any restaurant. For updates and special deals, please visit www.chattanoogapulse.com

(423) 870-9928 3805 Ringgold Rd. (423) 624-4345 6701 Hwy. 58 (423) 710-8970 amigorestaurantonline.com Applebee’s 5606 Brainerd Rd. (423) 553-9203 401 Market St. (423) 826-4996 356 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 875-8353 2342 Shallowford Village Rd. (423) 499-1999 applebees.com Aretha Frankensteins 518 Tremont St. (423) 265-7685 arethas.com Ayala Mexican Restaurant 1832 Taft Hwy. (423) 886-0063 Back Inn Café 412 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Bar Louie 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 855-4155 barlouieamerica.com

Beast + Barrel 16 Frazier Ave. (423) 805-4599 beastandbarrel.com Beef O’Brady’s 5958 Snow Hill Rd. #100 (423) 910-0261 ooltewahbeefobradys.com Big Chill & Grill 103 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 267-2445 bigchillandgrill.com Big Don’s Bar & Karaoke 306 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 755-0041 Big River Grille 222 Broad St. (423) 267-2739 2020 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 553-7723 bigrivergrille.com Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. (423) 266-4200 bluewaterchattanooga.com Boathouse Rotisserie & Raw Bar 1459 Riverside Dr. (423) 622-0122 boathousechattanooga.com Boccaccia Restaurant 3077 S. Broad St.

(423) 266-2930 boccacciarestaurant.com Bonefish Grill 2115 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 892-3175 bonefishgrill.com Bourbon Street Music Bar 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 475-5118 Brewhaus 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 531-8490 brewhausbar.com Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Buffalo Wild Wings 120 Market St. (423) 634-0468 5744 Hwy. 153 (423) 877-3338 buffalowildwings.com Cancun Restaurant 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Carrabba’s Italian Grill 2040 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 894-9970 carrabbas.com Charlie’s Restaurant & Lounge

8504 Dayton Pike (423) 842-9744 Chattanooga Billiards Club 725 Cherry St. (423) 267-7740 cbcburns.com Chattanooga Billiards Club East 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883 cbcburns.com Chattanooga Brewing Company 1804 Chestnut St. (423) 702-9958 chattabrew.com Chili’s 408 Market St. (423) 265-1511, 5637 Brainerd Rd. (423) 855-0376 1921 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 892-6319 123 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 877-4344 chilis.com Christy’s Sports Bar 3469 Brainerd Rd. (423) 702-8137 Chuck’s II 27 W. Main St. (423) 265-5405 Cloud 9 Hookah Lounge 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 521-4737 c9lounge.com Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St.

THE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 21

(423) 362-8335 clydesonmain.com Community Pie 850 Market St. (423) 486-1743 communitypie.com Conga Latin Food 207 E. Main St. (423) 201-4806 Den Sports Bar & Lounge 1200 E. 23rd St. (423) 475-6007 Diamond Billiard Club 3600 Hixson Pike (423) 877-5882 diamondbilliardclub.com Diamonds & Lace Showbar (Babes Sports Bar) 115 Honest St. (423) 855-1893 Dos Amigos 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 495-1802 Easy Bistro 203 Broad St. (423) 266-1121 easybistro.com El Meson 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 894-8726 248 Northgate Park (423) 710-1201 elmesonchattanooga.com Eleven and H20 Bar DoubleTree Hotel 407 Chestnut St. (423) 756-5150 doubletree3.hilton.com Feed Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. (423)708-8500 feedtableandtavern.com Firebirds Wood Fired Grill

2107 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 308-1090 firebirdsrestaurants.com Fireside Grille 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898 Five Bar 200 Manufacturer's Rd. (423) 777-4120 five-bar.com Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 flyingsquirrelbar.com Fuji Japanese Steak & Sushi 2207 Overnite Dr. (423) 892-2899 5437 Hwy. 153 (423) 531-3183 fujisteakchattanooga.com Full Moon American Burger & Bar 61 N. Market St. (423) 521-6666 Gail’s 2555 Harrison Pike (423) 698-4123 Georgia Winery 6469 Battlefield Pkwy. Ringgold, Ga. (706) 937-9463 georgiawines.com Giggles Grill 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

22 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Good Dog 34 Frazier Ave. (423) 475-6175 eatatgooddog.com Hair of the Dog Pub 334 Market St. (423) 265-4615 hairofthedogpub.net Harley House 3715 Rossville Blvd. (423) 867-7795 Heaven & Ale 304 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 602-8286, 9431 Cambridge Square Ln., Suite 101 Ooltewah, TN heaven-and-ale.com Hennen’s Restaurant 193 Chestnut St. (423) 634-5160 hennens.net Hooters 5912 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-8668 hooters.com Ichiban Japanese Steakhouse & Sushi Bar 5621 Brainerd Rd. (423) 892-0404 5035 Hixson Pike (423) 875-0473 5425 Hwy. 153 (423) 875-0404 yourichiban.com IL Primo 1100 Hixson Pike

(423) 602-5555 primochattanooga.com Images Showbar 6005 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210 mirage-complex.com J. Alexander’s 2215 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 855-5559 jalexanders.com J & J Lounge 2208 Glass St. (423) 622-3579 JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 362-5695 jjsbohemia.com Jay’s Bar 1914 Wilder St. (423) 710-2045 Jefferson’s 618 Georgia Ave. (423) 710-1560 jeffersonsrestaurant.com Jimmy D’s Sports Bar & Grill 3901 Rossville Blvd. (423) 867-2624 JPM Restaurant 538 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 475-5259 Kanpai of Tokyo 2200 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 800-8193 kanpaioftokyo.com La Altena 314 W. Main St. (423) 266-7595 615 Commercial Ln. (423) 877-1447 8644 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 893-9047 La Fiesta Mexican Grill 8523 Hixson Pike (423) 843-1149

Lakeshore Grille 5600 Lake Resort Terrace (423) 710-2057 lakeshoregrille.com Lamar’s Restaurant 1018 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-0988 lamarsrestaurant.com Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 4604 Skyview Dr. (423) 892-3065 3100 Cummings Hwy. (423) 825-0304 7015 Shallowford Rd. (423) 553-8686 Lawrence’s Lounge 1201 E. 37th St. (423) 867-0079 Leapin' Leprechaun 101 Market St. (423) 777-9097 Local 191 191 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6767 local191.com Logan’s Roadhouse 2119 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 499-4339 3592 Cummings Hwy.

(423) 821-2948 504 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 875-4443 logansroadhouse.com Lookout Winery 11848 Highway 41, Guild, Tn. (727) 499-8974 lookoutwinery.com Lupi’s Pizza Pies 406-A Broad St. (423) 266-5874 2382 N. Ocoee St. (423) 476-9464 5504 Hixson Pike (423) 847-3700 1414 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-4104 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 602-7499 lupi.com Mac’s Restaurant & Lounge 3950 Brainerd Rd. (423) 698-0702

Maggie G’s 400 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 757-7722 Marsha’s Backstreet Café 5032 Brainerd Rd. (423) 485-7911 Mary’s Lounge 2125 McCallie Ave. (423) 493-0246 Matilda Midnight 120 E. 10th St. (423) 267-7866 thedwellhotel.com Mayo’s Restaurant & Lounge 3820 Brainerd Rd. (423) 624-0034 McHale’s Brew House 724 Ashland Terrace (423) 877-2124 mchalesbrewhouse.com Mellow Mushroom 205 Broad St. (423) 266-5564 2318 Lifestyle Way

(423) 468-3737 mellowmushroom.com Memo’s 430 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 267-7283 Mexiville 809 Market St. (423) 805-7444 mexivilletn.com Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 634-8899 Mi Casa Mexican Restaurant 3029 Rossville Blvd. (423) 805-4443 Mike’s Hole in the Wall 538 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 475-5259 Mitch’s Sports Bar 2555 Harrison Pike (423) 698-4123 Mojo Burrito 3815 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 822-6656

1800 Dayton Blvd. (423) 870-6656 1414 Jenkins Rd. (423) 296-6656 mojoburrito.com Molcajete Mexican Restaurant 6231 Perimeter Dr. (423) 760-8200 molcajeterestauranttn.com Mountain City Club 729 Chestnut St. (423) 756-5584 mountaincityclub.org Nick and Linda’s 4762 Hwy. 58 (423) 386-5404 North River Pub 4027 Hixson Pike (423) 875-0407 O’Charley’s 5301 Hixson Pike (423) 877-8966 2340 Shallowford Village Dr. (423) 892-3343 ocharleys.com Old Chicago Pizza 250 Northgate Mall (423) 877-3450 oldchicago.com Outback Steakhouse 501 Northgate Mall

THE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 23

Chattanooga's Top Cocktails We went our searching around town to find some of the best cocktails the city's finest drinking establishments have to offer. Our tireless research (in the name of editorial accuracy, of course) has resulted in a fine collection of some of the best libations you can try.

"Up In Smoke" Created by Puckett's Grocery & Restaurant's Team Chattanooga, the "Up In Smoke" cocktail features Corsair Triple Smoke Whiskey, sweet vermouth, simple syrup, a dash of bitters and a diced pear garnish. Perfect for any meal or all by itself.

"Ms. Beauregarde" "Signorina Masala" "Autumn Delight" Leave it up to the Flying Squirrel mixologists to feature two cocktails: "Ms. Beauregarde" (with cucumber infused gin, creme de violette, lemon juice, lavender syrup) and the "Traveling Mule" (with vodka and Pure Sodaworks spicy habanero ginger beer).

24 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Created by the folks at Chattanooga Whiskey, this cool concoction combines Chattanooga Whiskey 1816 Single Barrel, Positiffitea Chillin' Chai Tea Infused Cocchi Vermouth di Torinom, Demerara simple syrup, fresh cranberry juice, egg white and cinnamon.

Totto, Frazier Avenue's premier Sushi restaurant, is especially fond of the "Autumn Delight" this time of year, which features 12 year old Japanese single malt whisky, apple cider, a dash of ground cinnamon, topped with an apple slice and a cinnamon stick.

"Bourbon & Mint Lemonade"

"Rum Runner"

"Aromatherapy"

Everyone knows that Big River Grille & Brewery is home for great beer. But it's also home for the "Bourbon & Mint Lemonade" featuring Maker's Mark Bourbon, mint leaves, and fresh lemonade for a minty tart new taste.

It always feels like Summer at Full Moon Burger & Bar on the North Shore with a classic "Island Rum Runner" featuring Blue Chair Banana Rum, Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, orange juice, coconut and grenadine.

The latest cocktail from Alleia, it includes Gala Apple infused Titos Vodka, cranberry juice, shaken and strained in a coupe glass, topped with prosecco and garnished with an orange peel and a zest of cinnamon.

"Stark Raving"

"Cider Punch"

"TN Margarita"

The award-winning mixologists at Easy Bistro & Bar love the "Stark Raving" cocktail, featuring Trianon Tequila Blanco, fesh lime, grenadine, a dash of Pernod Absinthe, and their special apricot salt as a tasty finish.

For a touch of class, head over to Matilda Midnight at The Dwell Hotel for a classic cider punch featuring Afrohead Rum, lemon juice, Tuaca, sparkling cider and Cardamom bitters. Not much into rum? Brandy also works just fine.

Downtown's Bluewater Grille also has a great bar...and their "Tennessee Margarita" cocktail features Chattanooga Whiskey, Cointreau, and their Housemade Margarita Mix, combined together for a refreshing taste.

THE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 25

(423) 870-0980 2120 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 899-2600 outback.com P.F. Chang’s 2110 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 242-0045 pfchangs.com Pickle Barrel 1012 Market St. (423) 266-1103 goodfoodchattanooga.com Poblano’s Mexican Cuisine 551 River St. (423) 490-7911 poblanoschattanooga.com Porkchops Bar & Grill 6727 Ringgold Rd. (423) 296-2571 Porter's Steakhouse 827 Broad St. (423) 643-1240 portersteakhouse.com Provino’s 5084 S. Terrace Plaza (423) 443-4927 provinos.com Public House 1110 Market St. (423) 266-3366 publichousechattanooga.

com Raw Dance Club 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 rawbarandgrillchatt.com Rumors 3884 Hixson Pike (423) 870-3003 Ruth’s Chris Steak House 2321 Lifestyle Way (423) 602-5900 ruthschris.net Sekisui 1120 Houston St. (423) 267-4600 sekisuichattanooga.com Shogun Japanese Steak & Sushi 1806 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 296-6500 shogunchattanooga.com Sing It or Wing It 410 Market St. (423) 757-9464 singitorwingit.org

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 521-2966 skyzoochattanooga.com Slick’s Burgers 309 E Main St. (423)760-4878 slicksburgers.com Sluggo’s 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224 Smokey Bones Bar & Fire Grill 2225 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 893-7850 smokeybones.com Sofa King Juicy Burger 1743 Dayton Blvd. (423) 490-7632 sofakingjuicyburger.com Southern Burger Co. 9453 Bradmore Ln., Ooltewah (423) 825-4919 southernburgerco.com

26 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Southside Saloon and Bistro 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloonandbistro. com Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. (423) 708-3280 thesouthsidesocial.com St. John’s 1278 Market St. (423) 266-4400 stjohnsrestaurant.com Sticky Fingers 2031 Hamilton Pl. Blvd. (423) 899-7427 420 Broad St. (423) 265-7427 stickyfingers.com Sushi Nabe of Kyoto 110 River St. (423) 634-0171 sushinabechattanooga.com Sweet Basil

5845 Brainerd Rd. (423) 485-8836 sweetbasilthairestaurant. com T.MAC 423 Market St. (423) 267-8226 tmacrestaurants.com Taco Mamacita 109 N. Market St. (423) 648-6262 tacomamacita.com Taconooga 207-A Frazier Ave. (423) 757-5550 taconooga.com Taco Roc 6960 Old Lee Hwy. (423) 653-1001 tacoroc.com T-Bones Sports Cafe 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tbonessportscafe.com T-Roy’s 2300 Glass St. (423) 629-8908 Teasers Bikini Bar & Grill 1401 E. 23rd St. (423) 622-6734 Terminal Brewhouse 6 E. 14th St.

(423) 752-8090 terminalbrewhouse. com TerraMae Appalachian Bistro 122 E. 10th St. (423) 710-2925 terramaechattanooga. com Terra Nostra Tapas & Wine Bar 105 Frazier Ave. (423) 634-0238 terranostratapas.com Texas Roadhouse 7016 Shallowford Rd. (423) 899-8293 texasroadhouse.com The Bitter Alibi 825 Houston St. (423) 362-5070 thebitteralibi.com The Blue Plate 191 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6767 theblueplate.info The Brew & Cue 5017 Rossville Blvd. (423) 867-9402 The Casual Pint 103 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 475-6304 thecasualpint.com The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com The Chop House 2011 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 892-1222 thechophouse.com The Foundry Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775

chattanooganhotel. com The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com The Meeting Place 1278 Market St. (423) 266-4400 stjohnsrestaurant. com The Office Inside City Café 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 citycafemenu.com The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton. com The Pub on Frazier 346 Frazier Ave. (423) 668-8273 The Social 1110 Market St. (423) 266-3366 publichousechattanooga.com Tipoff Sports Bar & Grill 830 Dodson Ave. (423) 622-2900 Tony’s Pasta Shop & Trattoria 212 High St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict. com Totto Sushi & Gril 330 Frazier Ave. (423) 508-8898 tottonooga.com Tremont Tavern

1203 Hixson Pike (423) 266-1996 tremonttavern.com Tupelo Honey 1110 Market St. (423) 779-0400 tupelohoneycafe.com Underground 2503 Westside Dr. (423) 485-3873 Universal Joint 532 Lookout St. (423) 468-3725 ujchattanooga.com Urban Stack Burger Lounge 12 W. 13th St. (423) 475-5350 urbanstack.com Wine Down 9431 Bradmore Ln., Ooltewah, Ste 109 (423) 531-9463 winedownbar.com Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711

Beer, Wine & Liquor Sales ABC Liquors 3948 Brainerd Rd. (423) 622-5915 abcliquorsinc.com Athens Distributing Company 4126 S. Creek Rd. (423) 629-7311 athensdistributing.com Bacchus Wine & Spirits 5721 Hwy. 153 (423) 875-2999 bacchuswinesandTHE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 27

spirits.com Beverage World 1840 Old Lafayette Rd., Fort Oglethorpe, Ga. (706) 866-5644 ourbeers.com Bonny Oaks Liquor 4915 Bonny Oaks Dr. (423) 521-4312 CJ’s Liquor 6401 Hixson Pike (423) 842-2400 Collegedale Tobacco & Beverage Mart 9409 Apison Pike (423) 615-0021 DeBarge Winery 1617 Rossville Ave. (423) 710-8426 debargewines.com Discount Tobacco & Beer, Etc. 7000 Lee Hwy. (423) 531-6940 discounttobaccobeeretc.com East Brainerd Wine & Spirits 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 855-4120 Hamilton Liquor 2288 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 894-3194 Henry’s EZ Liquor 5012 Hwy. 58 (423) 899-4452 Highway 58 Liquors 4762 Hwy. 58 (423) 899-6592 Horizon Wine and Spirits 3794 Tag Rd. (423) 899-3962 hwas.com Imbibe 1616 Broad St. (423) 777-4820 imbibechattanooga.com

Island Point Wine & Spirits 5987 Brainerd Rd. (423) 553-1515 islandpointwine.com Jax Liquors 216 Market St. (423) 266-8420 facebook.com/jaxliquors J D’s Liquor Stores 3209 Broad St. (423) 267-1024 J J’s Liquor Store 4204 Rossville Blvd. (423) 867-1720 J & R Liquors 2121 E. 23rd St. (423) 622-6605 Ken’s Liquor Store 6015 Dayton Blvd. (423) 875-3305 Lakesite Wine & Spirits 8711 Hixson Pike (423) 451-7723 Lamplight Package Store 5032 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-9860 Louie’s Liquors 541 Signal Mountain Rd. (423) 468-4471 Mack’s Highway Market 4401 Ringgold Rd. (423) 624-5788 Mountain Top Wine & Spirits 1807 Taft Hwy. 7A, Signal Mtn.

(423) 886-9463 Oasis Liquors 7003 Lee Hwy. (423) 899-7372 Ooltewah Discount Liquor 9207 Lee Hwy. (423) 238-9177 ooltewahdiscountliquor.com Red Bank Wine & Spirits 3849 Dayton Blvd. (423) 877-1787 Riley’s Wine and Spirits 4818 Hixson Pike (423) 870-2156 rileyswineandspirits.com Rivermont Wine & Spirits 3600 Hixson Pike (423) 870-4388 Riverside Wine & Spirits 600 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 267-4305 riversidewine.com Riverview Wine & Spirits 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 468-2071 Ronnie’s Wine & Spirits 7022 Shallowford Rd. (423) 899-1986 Sandy’s Liquor Store 2410 Glass St. (423) 698-8751 Sigler’s Craft Beer & Cigars 1309 Panorama Dr. (423) 485-3271 siglerscraftbeerandcigars. com Signal View Liquors

28 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

252 Signal Mountain Rd. (423) 756-1175 Sports Wine & Spirits 5510 Hwy. 153 (423) 870-4555 The Vine Wine and Spirits 301 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 643-2250 Tobacco & Beer Mart 6025 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 531-3916 Tobacco & Beverage Mart 4340 Ringgold Rd. (423) 622-3600 Valley Wine & Spirits 3548 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-6842 Vine & Barrel 5506 Hixson Pike, (423) 702-5763 Vintage Wine & Spirits 800 Mountain Creek Rd. (423) 877-9474 Welcome Liquor 2001 S. Market St. (423) 756-0187

Odds & Ends A Silverware Affair 6727 Heritage Business Ct. #119 (423) 296-4204 Apron Strings Catering Co. 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 486-1783 apronstringscatering.com

Black Tie Affair 1129 Valentine Cir. (423) 266-0250 Cakeman’s Catering 4272 Bonny Oaks Dr. (423) 493-0090 Chattanooga Brew Choo 21 W. 28th St. (423) 415-4991 chattbrewchoo.com Dish T’Pass 302 W. 6th St. (423) 309-5353 Events With Taste (423) 508-8023 ewtcaters.com GQR Catering 641 N. Valley Dr. (423) 933-2300 cateringchattanooga.com Moss Place Catering 711 Tunnel Blvd. (423) 493-9006 Lee Towery Catering 1303 Hixson Pike #C (423) 267-9515 Lockhart’s Fire & Smoke Catering 909 Belvoir Hills Cir. (423) 421-8872 On The List Catering 100 Cherokee Blvd. Suite #120 (423) 290-1081 onthelistcatering.com Superior Catering Services 2103 S. Highland Park Ave. (423) 698-4244 Swiss-Am Seasoning 1401 E. 34th St. (423) 867-7752 Tap Wagon Signal Mountain, TN (423) 827-3652 tapwagon.com

DRINK FALL 2016

AmeriPride: The Customer-Oriented Brand I

n the drive to increase profit margins, some uniform companies are mass-producing standard restaurant aprons or corporate logo apparel as cheaply as possible. AmeriPride, a leading supplier of uniforms and linens in the United States, chose to head in the opposite direction. “By partnering with world-class clothing manufacturers such as Red Kap, Chef Works and Dickies, we decided to focus on being a leading customer service company rather than manufacturing,” Director of Marketing Michael Shearer

says. With 150,000 customers served weekly and nearly 6,000 employees, AmeriPride focuses on the Food & Beverage, Industrial, Automotive, Healthcare and Food Processing markets. Founded in 1889 by the Steiner family and headquartered in Minnetonka, Minnesota, AmeriPride operates 130 plants and service centers throughout the United States and Canada. The company remains family-owned and is continuously investing in its facilities to ensure they have the most up-todate technology and equipment.

“We’ve done more than anybody in improving the sustainability of our plant equipment and fleet, and we were recently recognized as the largest Textile Rental Services Association of America (TRSA)-certified ‘Clean Green’ company in our industry,” Shearer says. Along with being conscious of its environmental impact, AmeriPride’s primary goal is to make it easy for customers to do business with the company. Enter the Complete Customer Care (C3) service program and online Customer Portal. With C3, every Customer Ser-

vice Manager (CSM) uses a tablet that connects with AmeriPride’s proprietary Windows-based C3 mobile application. Employees are able to remotely pull up a customer’s history and read any new messages from the client sent to them via the Customer Portal. “It’s about managing those accounts and making sure our CSMs have their customer information available at their fingertips at any time,” Shearer says. Stop by and visit us in Booth 106 at the Tennessee Restaurant Expo today!

THE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 29

DRINK FALL 2016

Southern Burger Co. S

tarting out as a local Chattanooga food truck in 2011, Southern Burger Co. has transformed into a food service powerhouse. With its restaurant location stationed in Ooltewah, just minutes from downtown Chattanooga, Southern Burger Co. has become a local staple. The company strives to consistently provide its patrons with delicious food, top class service, and a warm inviting environment for family and friends alike. Taking much pride in the quality of their food, Southern Burger Co. utilizes only the freshest ingredients. They grind their own beef,

cut their own fries, and make all of their sauces in house. What they do not make in house, they use locally sourced goods such as buns from local Nieldov’s Breadworks. Outside of their phenomenal food, environment, and service, Southern Burger Co. hosts weekly events such as College Night on Wednesday and Thursday Pint Night; giving it that social aspect that is often craved by restaurant patrons. They do a fantastic job of getting people in the door, and once inside they are provided with a great experience. The food choices are unmatched. They have all of the fixins’ one

30 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

could want for a burger or chicken sandwich. They even offer lean meat bison, and turkey choices for the health minded, and an eggplant option for the vegan munchers; but the all-star selections lie in the traditional burger choices. The stand-out burgers are the Chorizo, Raleigh, and Big & Spicy Burgers. The stand out chicken sandwiches are the Nashville Hot Chicken and the Chicken Philly.

It is often hard to pick, so several visits are the only way to truly experience this outside of the box establishment. With so many cookie cutter restaurants flooding the eatery market, it is often hard to find places that break the mold. Southern Burger Co. has no idea what a mold even is, so it is a safe location for foodies that are looking for great food, and a fresh take on eating out.

DRINK FALL 2016

Old Chicago Pizza & Taproom

t’s hard to believe October is right around the corner, but we’re beginning to get our first feels of fall in the mornings as well as starting to see it around town in specialty items. But nothing makes us more excited about fall than football season and the array of beers that come with Oktoberfest. “We’re running a football special all day Saturdays and Sundays, as well as Mondays and Thursdays the hour before the game,” says Old Chicago Pizza and Taproom general manager Lauren Gholz. Red Zone Combos let you choose a combo of items from Sicilian pepperoni rolls, buffalo chicken rolls, boneless or traditional wings, or a one-topping pub pizza, either two for $9 or three for $12. Also be sure to check out their Tailgate Grill Menu featuring bacon burgers, steak sandwiches, and more, each pairing perfectly with a cold brew. Speaking of brews, during this football special, pints and talls of Blue Moon, Miller Lite, and Leinenkuegul will vary from $3.50, $4.50

and $5.50. Football season ends in February and so will this special, so we suggest gathering up your NFL or college football friends and heading over to Old Chicago while the offer still lasts. The delicious food, sweet beer deals, and the fact that the place is filled with flat screen televisions... where else would you go to watch the game? And on the days of the week that there is no football, fear not, because Old Chicago always has you covered with beer and sustenance. Each table has a book featuring how and what to pair with certain beers, or you can ask Russell, their resident beer expert. Ask him which beer you should drink to kick off your personal bout of the World Beer Tour. Drink different beers to get sweet shirts, coozies, glassware, and more. Drink all 110 beers and have the satisfaction of accomplishing a goal some only dream of and get your name highlighted on the Wall of Foam. THE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 31

DRINK FALL 2016

New Amsterdam Vodka: It's Your Town N

ew Amsterdam Vodka is five-times distilled from the finest grains then filtered three times. It’s so smooth you can create a perfect cocktail or drink it straight, making it one of the best vodkas available. Our premium process makes our distilled vodka as iconic as the cityscape on the bottle. Our flavors are crafted using our award winning original 80-proof vodka. And as good as the Original Vodka is, New Amsterdam has an entire line of great tasting flavored vodkas, perfect for any occasion or specialty cocktail. Peach vodka refreshes your drink with a subtle sweetness that helps summer come early and stay late. This peach-flavored vodka mixes perfectly with your favorite cocktails. Pineapple vodka stays crisp and fresh under situations of extreme pressure, like doing the limbo. For the weekend, try our pineapple-flavored vodka. Mango vodka adds a subtle tropical flavor to your drink without demanding a frilly, little umbrella. Liven up your drink with a splash of our mango-flavored vodka. Red Berry vodka creates bold cocktails that take your night where it’s always wanted to go. Explore our blackberry, strawberry & raspberry vodka infusion on your next evening adventure. Coconut vodka brings the smooth island vibe to your drink but leaves the clanging steel drum behind for better beats. Find your rhythm with this coconut-flavored vodka. Orange vodka offers sweet citrus 32 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • FALL DRINK GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

flavors to give your cocktail complexity that goes down easy. Brighten up your drink with our refreshing orange-flavored vodka. Citron vodka stays smooth while infusing the tang of New Amsterdam’s most popular supporters: lemon and lime. This lemon vodka will add the perfect amount of zest to your liquid concoction. But there’s a lot more to New Amsterdam Vodka than just premium taste. The master mixologists at New Amsterdam have created a number of tasty cocktails for you to make on your own for dinner parties or just to impress your friends Amsterdam Mule • 2 parts New Amsterdam Vodka • 3 parts ginger beer • ½ part simple syrup • ½ part fresh lime juice • Sprig of mint Pour vodka over ice. Add simple syrup & lime juice. Top with ginger beer and stir. Spank mint sprig (to release aromas) & add as garnish.

Serve in Amsterdam Mule mug or metal mug. Peach Sunrise • 2½ parts New Amsterdam Peach • 4 part orange juice • 1 part pineapple juice Shake ingredients together in a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Strain into a martini glass and serve or strain into a classic highball glass filled with ice cubes and serve. Black Diamond • 2 parts New Amsterdam Vodka • ½ part sweet vermouth • ½ part fresh lemon juice • ½ part maple syrup Shake ingredients very well with ice and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with lemon peel. So the next time you’re at your favorite vendor of fine spirits, pick up a bottle of New Amsterdam and experience premium vodka taste without having to pay premium prices. New Amsterdam. It’s your town.

THE PULSE • FALL DRINK GUIDE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2015 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 33

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0695 chattanoogarivermarket.com Northside Farmers Market 10 am. Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 St. Alban’s Hixson Market 10 a.m. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 Artful Yoga: Flowing Into Fall 1:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org The Rooftop Hop 5 p.m. Green Spaces 63 E. Main St. (423) 648-0963 therooftophop.com “Why Not Home?” 6 p.m. The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Wild Chattanooga: Nature at Night 7 p.m. Reflection Riding Arboretum and Nature Center 400 Garden Rd.

(423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Landry 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Fiddler on the Roof 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com

SUNDAY9.25 Hamilton County Fair 10 a.m. Chester Frost Park 2318 Gold Point Cir. North (423) 842-0177 hamiltontn.gov/fair Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com Collectible Alabama Pottery Lecture 1:30 p.m. Houston Museum of Decorative Arts 201 High St. (423) 267-7176 thehoustonmuseum.org Fiddler on the Roof 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com

Landry 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY9.26 Homeschool Day 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Red Bank Farmers Market 4 p.m. Red Bank United Methodist 3800 Dayton Blvd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com.

TUESDAY9.27 East Brainerd Farmers Market 4 p.m. Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Grand Opening of SkyLib 6 p.m. Chattanooga Metropolitan Airport 1001 Airport Rd. (423) 855-2200 chattairport.com "Facing Your Finances: Understanding Insurance" 6 p.m. The Edney 1100 Market St.

ARTS CALENDAR

The Rooftop Hop

(423) 413-8978 thechattery.org Funny Or Nah Stand-Up Comedy Open Mic 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. kerosenekomedy.com

WEDNESDAY9.28 Artful Meditation with Jennifer Fahey 12:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Main Street Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Wednesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m. Chattanooga Library Downtown Branch 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Kountry Wayne 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 35

SCREEN SCENE

The Rebirth Of The Blair Witch

Just when you thought it was safe to get lost in the woods again

A Madcap Chase Through Time Arthouse Theater Day celebrates the classic Time Bandits In support of the inaugural Arthouse Theater Day, Janus Films will release Terry Gilliam’s cult classic fantasy Time Bandits back into movie houses, with a special screening this weekend at Cine-Rama. The national Art House Convergence, a specialty cinema organization representing over 600 theaters and allied cinema exhibition businesses, has dubbed September 24th National Art House Theater Day, a day which celebrates the theatrical movie-going experience. Janus is thrilled to participate be presenting Time Bandits in a beau-

✴✴✴✴

tiful new 2K restoration supervised by Terry Gilliam. Attendees will all receive a limited-edition print of the map prop used in the film. So come out and help your pals at Chattanooga’s only art house cinema celebrate the first ever nationwide Art House Theater Day. Time Bandits Saturday, 10:15 p.m. Sunday, 12:15 a.m. Cine-Rama 100 W. Main St. (423) 521-1716 thecinerama.org

NEW IN THEATERS

The Magnificent Seven Seven gun men in the old west gradually come together to help a poor village against savage thieves in this modern remake of the 1960 classic that starred Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen and Charles Bronson, among many other. Director: Antoine Fuqua Stars: Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt

Screen JOHN DEVORE

“ ✴✴✴✴

Storks Storks have moved on from delivering babies to packages. But when an order for a baby appears, the best delivery stork must scramble to fix the error by delivering the baby. Directors: Nicholas Stoller & Doug Sweetland Stars: Andy Samberg, Jennifer Aniston

36 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

N MY EARLY TEEN YEARS, I LOVED ROLLER COASTERS. At least, I pretended to. There was always part of me that would secretly rather hang out by the water rides and bumper cars than hang upside down while travelling at 70 miles per hour. My experience with roller coasters was always encouraged by others. There’s a male need to not look weak in your middle school days, whether for survival or friendship, and my adolescent self was willing to feel nauseous all day in order keep my peers from laughing at me.

Blair Witch is continuing the recent tradition of rebooting franchises by not straying far from the original.”

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve tried to ride the big rides at Six Flags only to discover that my stomach will no longer tolerate these minor daredevil feats and will rebel at the first sign of inverted movement. The point is that it is easy to lie yourself into all sorts of odd beliefs and just because something was true once doesn’t make it true forever. The Blair Witch Project was another lie I told myself as a teenager. Without a doubt, I enjoyed the movie at the time. So did many of my friends. It was the film equivalent of a roller coaster, with jump scares and innovative storytelling, a momentary experience that seemed thrilling at the time because of its marketing but quickly lost its potency. Part of this is due to the glut of copycat films that followed. Found footage became a go-to style for horror after The Blair Witch Project, inspiring film franchises from Paranormal Activity to V/H/S to Cloverfield. This year’s sequel to The Blair Witch Project, Blair Witch, is just another in a long line of found footage films. It is almost a note for note copy of the original film, outlining the same legend, retreading the same ground, without adding new information or answering any more of the questions raised in the original film. It’s not a bad film, but an unnecessary one.

Much of what made The Blair Witch Project such an effective film was the innovative marketing scheme. Back in the halcyon days of 1999, audiences were more innocent. The film was one of the first examples of viral marketing and there were some that genuinely wondered if this group of filmmakers was killed by a supernatural force in the woods of Burkettsville, Maryland. I’d like to say that audiences now are more savvy, less likely to be swayed by wild, unproven claims. Current election polls suggest otherwise. Still, today’s audiences are at least able to recognize that found footage films aren’t secret snuff films. Maybe one day soon we’ll realize that orange billionaires aren’t Presidential material. Blair Witch continues the story of Heather Donahue and her doomed companions by giving her a brother that is still searching for his lost family member 22 years later. Someone has uploaded footage to YouTube that is claimed to have been found in the same forest as the original footage from 1999. James Donahue is convinced that the footage shows his sister in a similar structure from the first film and he enlists his own film crew to join him on an expedition to the Black Hills forest to find her. The film follows the same pattern as the original, with snippets of inter-

views that reminds us of the legend of the witch and the disappearances that have occurred. As soon as night falls in the woods, strange things begin to happen. Then people start to disappear. One of the better changes from the original film is the exploration into the passage of time in the woods, which adds a new layer of fear to the storytelling. The time loop aspect enhances the mystery and is a fun addition. However, The Blair Witch Project was frightening more because of what we didn’t see than what we did. Blair Witch shows a bit more. Also, the sound in the original was especially effective because whatever was stalking the unfortunate lost souls in the woods seemed simultaneously a far distance away and just outside the glow of the flashlights, making it all the more otherworldly. By contrast, Blair Witch is a cacophony of noise. At times, it seems like the witch might just be a wayward tyrannosaurus. This is a very noisy film, which diminishes the intimate dread that accompanied the jumps found in the original film. Blair Witch is continuing the recent tradition of rebooting franchises by not straying far from the original. Star Wars: The Force Awakens succeed by giving the fans what they wanted. Blair Witch attempts the same, but isn’t quite new enough to warrant being made. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 37

MUSIC SCENE

Roughhousing For All The Right Reasons Aggressive musical improvisation with Barrup, Lipson and Wright

Pianist Ning An

Classical Music Is Alive and Well Chattanooga Symphony premieres new season Thursday The Chattanooga Symphony and Opera is celebrating their 84th anniversary this year, and will be kicking off their new season Thursday evening at the historic Tivoli Theater in downtown Chattanooga. With music inspired from the early Renaissance and late Romanic periods, it’s sure to be a beautifully performed evening. Perhaps this is the perfect date to brighten the spark in your romance? What better way to woo someone than with the classic beauty of the CSO? The show features the passions and adventures of Richard Strauss’ Don Juan, the legendary “Seducer of Seville”, a Spanish folk legend who is said to have been a famous lover with more than a thousand sexual conquests all across Europe. We’re going to bet that the ladies really loved his tunes. A rush of energetic and romantic essences is expected in the Fanfare for the UnCommon Woman, No. 2,

brewer media

the second of five compositions by composer Joan Tower, who draws her inspiration from the daring and adventurous spirit of the modern woman. Award winning pianist Ning An will also be performing the familiar Piano Concerto No. 2, one of the most beloved compositions in classic music, by the late romantic period Russian composer and pianist, Sergei Rachmaninoff. The Chattanooga Symphony and Opera is starting off the 2016-17 season with mesmerizing as ever talented musicians that anyone with a taste for classical music will greatly enjoy. — Alyson McGowan CSO Opening Night: Strauss and Rachmaninoff Thursday, 7:30 p.m. The Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583 chattanoogasymphony.org

Chattanooga’s Greatest Hits

everywhere. every day.

38 • THE PULSE • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

HEN SOMEONE GETS YOU IN A HEADLOCK, THAT person is probably either a total stranger—and in that case, you might be being mugged—or is very close to you, like an older brother. (Or, you and that person are professional wrestlers.)

Music ERNIE PAIK

“

We’re into fun and humor; things that are deemed as mere frivolity by those in the institutions and businesses of academe or arts funding.

The same can be said about verbal jabs; in this day and age of rampant Internet trolling, a person might experience ribbing either from an anonymous misanthrope, or from someone close enough where a lighthearted dig is meant to be endearing and a demonstration of intimacy. Roughhousing is the name of a wild and aggressive improvising threesome whose members—Zachary Darrup, Evan Lipson and Jack Wright—are comfortable with musically spurring and challenging each other; all have been residents of the Spring Garden Music House, located in Philadelphia and owned by Wright, and Wright and Lipson have been playing together for over a decade. “I suppose we just as easily could have named this current grouping something like Horseplay, Tomfoolery, Shenanigans, Fooling Around, Clowning Down, etc.,” said Lipson, responding to questions from The Pulse in advance of the group’s September 25 show at Barking Legs Theater. “The name is a fairly accurate description of the sort of thing that most often transpires when we play together. We’re into fun and humor; things that are deemed as mere frivolity by those in the institutions and businesses of academe or arts funding.”

PULSE PICKS

Called by guitarist Davey Williams the “Johnny Appleseed of Free Improvisation”—where “free improvisation” is playing “in the moment” with no genre in mind—the legendary saxophonist Wright is known for having an astoundingly large musical vocabulary, an enthusiasm to explore with new collaborators and an astute intellectual view of improvised music, which is expressed in his book The Free Musics that will be released next month. Lipson is a double bassist and composer who is also a member of Wrest (with Wright and percussionist Ben Bennett), Normal Love, Psychotic Quartet and several other groups; when not touring, Lipson is a proponent of Tiki cocktails and culture in Chattanooga. Completing the trio is guitarist Zachary Darrup, a relentlessly creative and hostile player dubbed by Lipson the “King of contrasts” and “possibly the most violent and abusive guitar player on the planet.” “Early on I described the kind of improv Spring Garden Music is involved in as ‘rambunctious,’ so that’s basically roughhousing,” said Wright via email. “The opposite is ‘polite’ music, which observes a certain decorum.” “Like you’re goofing around at a party and in walks your aunt, whom you didn’t expect, and suddenly everyone becomes polite, deferring to a mood you think she would prefer,” said Wright. “The fun is over, or the cryptic thing

Zachary Darrup

my mom used to tell us, ‘fun is fun.’” “That’s what tends to happen to different musics as they become acceptable to the middle class,” said Wright. “Early New Orleans Jazz was roughhousing compared to its revival, when it was polite. ‘Arty’ music is polite, jazz today is super-polite, no stepping on others’ toes and no interfering with the easy flow of music to audience appreciation. To me that’s dead music, like takeout at the very back of the fridge. We bite the hand that feeds us, if possible, and some like it, like early hardcore.” “In our latter-day Society of The Spectacle, most people strike me as increasingly complacent, predictable and anesthetized—even within the so-called underground,” said Lipson. “The psychological compulsion towards

Evan Lipson

Jack Wright

expending one’s spare time and energies on marketing, self-absorption and careerism is gradually sucking all the marrow out of creativity and the human spirit. It’s stifling and seemingly unavoidable. Even this interview could be considered culpable.” “It’s difficult to find many aspects of modern reality that aren’t contrived, fraudulent or suspect in some way,” said Lipson. “What we aim to do is to disrupt this compulsory tendency by going straight to the heart of our own desire(s). We deliberately risk making fools of ourselves in public.” “Roughhousing is jostling without intent to harm, maybe suppressed rage, but music itself never split any skulls— it opens our minds in other ways,” said Wright. “As for performance, we play

mostly without audience but never rehearse; when people are present we don’t change what we do. We don’t know what we’ll do before we do it, and then it no longer matters.” “We play with as much focus, intensity and feeling as our brains and bodies can muster,” said Lipson. “We rough shit up. I once asked Jack what he felt his relationship was to his instrument. He replied, ‘I love it so much, I want to f--- it to death.’” Roughhousing, with special guests Susan Alcorn and Bob Stagner Sunday, 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

THU9.22

FRI9.23

SAT9.24

ROCKING OUT

OUTER SPACE

BOWIE WAITS

The Independents

A Galaxy Purple

Benyaro

A three-piece acoustic ensemble with a unique blend of R&B, singer/ songwriter folk, and pop choruses that get you up and grooving. 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

The latest brainchild of musical impresario Ben Musser is a mix of David Bowie and Tom Waits for a unique experience unlike any you've seen before. 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

It's a full night of in-yourface rock & roll, as The Independents take the stage along with Mudsex, Genki Genki Panic, and Back For Blood. 9 p.m. Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 39

MUSIC CALENDAR

American Aquarium

THURSDAY9.22 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m. St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing Blues Jazz N’ Friends 6 p.m. Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m. Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m. Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com CSO Strauss & Rachmaninoff 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m. Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m. The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

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The Independents, Mudsex, Genki Genki Panic, Back For Blood 9 p.m. Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net

FRIDAY9.23 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Black Stone Cherry 8 p.m. The Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Ryan Oyer 8 p.m.

SPOTLIGHT: DRAKEFORD Drakeford’s music is the kind of sound that’s akin to a cold lemonade on a sunny day and warm coffee while hiding from the rain with friends. Drakeford Sunday, 2 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

The Granfalloon 400 E Main St. thegranfalloon.com Tory Lanez With VeeCee 8 p.m. Track29 1400 Market St. track29.co Instant Replay 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Galaxy Purple 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Dank with Maradeen 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Rick Trace

10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Bad Tattoo 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY9.24 Kofi Mawuko 12:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Bats Beer & Bluegrass 5 p.m. Frick’s Cave Preserve 1536 Frick’s Gap Rd. Chickamauga GA Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Of Montreal 8 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Judah & The Lion 8 p.m. Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co The Belle Hikkiws 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org

MUSIC CALENDAR

Sevendust Days to Come, PADAMN, Krystye Dalton 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.com Instant Replay 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Shawnessey Cargile 9 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery and Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Irenka* 10 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Benyaro 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Rick Trace 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Bad Tattoo 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY9.25 MTV Funk Fusion Duo 11 a.m. Flying Squirrel Bar

55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Jesse Black 12:30 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Drakeford 2 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m. Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Schoolboy Q & Joey Badass 7 p.m. Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Jack Wright, Susan Alcorn, Zach Darrup, Bob Stanger & Evan Lipson 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org American Aquarium 8 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co

MONDAY9.26 Open Mic Night 6 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Monday Nite Big Band

7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com My Morning Jacket 8 p.m. Tivoli Theater 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Very Open Mic 8 p.m. The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com

TUESDAY9.27 Tom Cordell Trumpet Improv Ensemble 6 p.m. Spring Hill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 834-9300 Brothers Osbourne 6:15 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Bill McCalliee and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m. Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pwky. Chattanoogariverboat.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

Sevendust 8 p.m. Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co

WEDNESDAY9.28 Charley Yates Open Mic 5 p.m. American Legion Post #95 3329 Ringgold Rd. americanlegionpost95.org The Other Guys 6 p.m. SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 834-9300 Kountry Wayne 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. thecomedycatch.com Open Jam 8 p.m. Raw Dance Club 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Wednesday Night Jazz 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m. The Palm’s @ Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamiltion.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 41

RECORD REVIEWS ADAM BECKETT

Nora Jane Struthers Wake, Jade Alger Unfolding The Muse

Nora Jane Struthers and the Party Line Wake (Blue Pig)

ora Jane Struthers and the Party Line is an Americana band based out of Nashville, that works under the Blue Pig record label. While their newest EP, Wake, was released early last year, it has had lasting impact. The group is very talented, and together create a very deep sound that will hit the listener right in the heart. They have released five full length albums since 2009, and do not appear to be slowing down. They were headliners one night this year at Chattanooga’s summertime Nightfall Series, and they are constantly on tour playing at festivals and venues across the country. Nora Jane Struthers and the Party Line have produced two incredible music videos to coincide with their newest album release. The deep felt songs “Let Go”, and “When I Wake” both were accompanied by very well put together music videos, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. The rest of the songs on the album are very easy to listen to, and you can feel the life experiences pouring from

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Jade Alger Unfolding The Muse (jadealger.bandcamp.com)

the speaker box. It is apparent that Nora Jane Struthers has done some living in her lifetime. She is no stranger to the ups and downs of life, and being able to pour her heart out into her music. “Lovin You” is a fun jam that has a catchy sound, and is a self-explanatory title. It is simply a love song directed at her significant other, but all the feels are locked deep inside of it. “The South” is a song about an outside person finding the beauty in new places, and falling in love with a region. This is a very special group that makes amazing music. They have the key that unlocks all of the elements that create great music. From start to finish, the listener will feel a wide variety of feelings. In one minute flat they will go from laughing to crying, all while bobbing their head. All of their albums are recommended, however, Wake is extraordinarily special.

ade Alger is a local Chattanooga musician that breaks all molds when creating music. His music style is folk based,

but he bends the genre effortlessly, and his style ranges from traditional to experimental folk music. Although his new EP, Unfolding The Muse, is his first official full length EP, it is certain that it will not be his last. He creates music that is full of life, and nostalgia. He also has a way of bringing listeners to a foreign time and place; unbeknownst to their own personal realm. Jade records his music locally in a little house in Chattanooga, and he creates all of the words, music, and drum arrangements. Music pours out of him in the most authentic way imaginable. He focuses on making music that is pure and wholesome, and he delivers flawlessly. While Folk music is not for everybody, anybody that gives Unfolding The Muse an honest listen will be an instant fan. It is nearly impossible to not connect with the music; it is borderline spellbinding. This beautiful soul will lift up his listeners, and captivate them with his words, and his well-produced musical sound. All of the songs on this album are phenomenal, a few stand out above the rest. “March to Grace”, is an instrumental song, that produces instant chill bumps. “Ferris Wheel Tree” has a gnarly sound that could easily be heard during any scene in a Quentin Tarantino film. “Indigo Road” paints a beautiful picture that leaves much interpretation to the listener, and it is accompanied by an acoustic track on the album. This astonishing troubadour will light up lives with his music and light. Sometimes it is hard for people to think outside of the box and listen to music that is not mainstream, but for the record, music does exist outside of pop culture. This beautiful music needs to be heard by the masses so that its light can fill their spirits.

FOOD & DRINK MIXOLOGY

The Elegance Of A Fine Cognac Learning the history of one of the world’s favorite fine spirits Cognac; there’s something almost mythical about this spirit. Originating in the south western part of France in the 16th century, Cognac was accidently discovered like most other alcoholic beverages. In the early 1500’s, Dutch settlers had traveled to the Cognac region of France to purchase resources like salt, wood and wine from the native people. However, the long journey home made preserving the wine extremely difficult, and no one was okay with that. The Dutch quickly discovered a way to conserve the wine by distilling the wine into eau-de-vie; which was a good solution, but eventually they realized that a second distillation made a far more superior and elegant beverage. This distillation process is believed to have been the birth of brandy. In fact, the word “brandy” comes from the Dutch “brandewijn”, meaning “to burn wine”. While brandy is made all over the world, not all brandy can be considered Cognac. Only brandy produced in the Cognac regions of France and under strict guidelines can be considered real Cognac. These specific regions of France stretch over the Charente-Maritime (bordering the Atlantic Ocean) and Charente (further inland) regions of the south western part of the country. These are the only places in the world that grow the three specific grape vines that are used when making Cognac; the Ugni Blanc, Colombard and Folle Blanche vines. Ugni Blanc is the primary vine in today’s Cognac. Prior to the Phylloxera crisis of the late 1800s that affected all of Europe, Folle Blanch was the main

variety for Cognac. In the wake of the destruction caused by a pesky insect, the vineyards of the Cognac region were replanted with Ugni Blanc. This specific vine of grapes was chosen for its high acidity levels, as well as its resistance to the infection. To this day, Ugni blanc remains the dominate variety of Cognac and makes up 95 percent of all Cognac produced in France. The process of making Cognac begins with pressing the grapes into a juice, followed by a ten-day fermentation process. The resulting white wine is highly acidic and low in alcohol (8 to 10 percent) content. The distillation is done by heating the wine and delicately separating the alcohol and other volatile elements. The goal during distillation is to concentrate the aroma and bouquet contained in the wine. Distillation of Cognac is only possible when using an alembic charentail. It is

“Similar to wine, tasting Cognac is a subjective experience and someone can easily prefer a Cognac that has only been aged two years versus a Cognac that’s been aged six. Check your wallet and take your pick.” a large copper pot, mainly composed of a boiler and an onion-shaped tank with a swan neck, and a condensing serpentine plunged in water. The boiler is

heated and the impurities of the wine are separated using this device. We know it all sounds very complicated, which is why we let the professionals do the work and we do the purchasing. And when purchasing Cognac, the older the vintage, the more expensive it will be. However, that doesn’t mean it was money well spent. Similar to wine, tasting Cognac is a subjective experience and someone can easily prefer a Cognac that has only been aged two years versus a Cognac that’s been aged six. Check your wallet and take your pick. There are hundreds of Cognac producers in the Cognac region of France, but the top distillers by sales are: Hennessy, Remy Martin, Martell, Courvoisier, and Camus. While they each have their own beginnings, each Cognac distillery share three major values; tradition, passion, and a pioneering spirit. — Alyson McGowan

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 43

DIVERSIONS FREE WILL ASTROLOGY VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m confident that I will never again need to moonlight as a janitor or dishwasher in order to pay my bills. My gig as a ROB BREZSNY horoscope columnist provides me with enough money to eat well, so it’s no longer necessary to shoplift bread or scavenge for dented cans of beets in grocery store dumpsters. What accounts for my growing financial luck? I mean besides the fact that I have been steadily improving my skills as an oracle and writer? I suspect it may in part have to do with my determination to cultivate generosity. As I’ve become better at expressing compassion and bestowing blessings, money has flowed to me in greater abundance. Would this strategy work for you? The coming weeks and months will be a good time to experiment. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Here’s my translation of a passage from the ancient Gospel of Thomas, a gnostic text about the teachings of Jesus: “If you do not awaken and develop the potential talents that lie within you, they will damage you. If you do awaken and develop the potential talents that lie within you, they will heal you.” Whether you actually awaken and develop those talents or not depends on two things: your ability to identify them clearly and your determination to bring them to life with the graceful force of your willpower. I call this to your attention, Libra, because the coming months will be a highly favorable time to expedite the ripening of your talents. And it all starts NOW. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You can’t completely eliminate unhelpful influences and trivial saboteurs and debilitating distractions from your life. But you’re entering a phase of your astrological cycle when you have more power than usual to diminish their effects. To get started in this gritty yet lofty endeavor, try this: Decrease your connection with anything that tends to demean your spirit, shrink your lust for life, limit your freedom, ignore your soul, compromise your integrity, dishonor your

reverence, inhibit your self-expressiveness, or alienate you from what you love. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Work too much and push yourself too hard, Sagittarius. Eat corn chips for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, and French fries for dinner—every day, if possible. And please please please get no more than four hours’ sleep per night. If you have any extra time, do arduous favors for friends and intensify your workout routine. JUST KIDDING! Don’t you dare heed any of that ridiculous advice. In fact, I suggest you do just the opposite. Dream up brilliant excuses not to work too much or push too hard. Treat yourself to the finest meals and best sleep ever. Take your mastery of the art of relaxation to new heights. Right now, the most effective way to serve your long-term dreams is by having as much fun, joy, and release as possible. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I propose that you and I make a deal. Here’s how it would work: For the next three weeks, I will say three prayers for you every day. I will ask God, Fate, and Life to send you more of the recognition and appreciation you deserve. I will coax and convince them to give you rich experiences of being seen for who you really are. Now here’s what I ask of you in return: You will rigorously resolve to act on your core beliefs, express your noblest desires, and say only what you truly mean. You will be alert for those times when you start to stray from the path with heart, and you will immediately get yourself back on that path. You will be yourself three times stronger and clearer than you have ever been before. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you loosen yourself up by drinking an alcoholic beverage, don’t drive a forklift or ride a unicycle. If you have a hunch that your luck at gambling is peaking, don’t buy lottery tickets or play the slot machines. If you’re drawn to explore the frontiers of intimacy, be armed with the ancient Latin maxim, Primum non nocere, or “First, do no harm.” And if you really do believe it would be fun to play with fire, bring a fire extinguisher with you. In presenting this cautionary advice, I’m not saying that you should never push the limits or bend the rules. But I want to be sure that as you

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Homework: Name the one thing you could change about yourself that would improve your love life. Testify at Freewillastrology.com dare to experiment, you remain savvy and ethical and responsible. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I invite you to explore the healing power of sex. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to do so. You are also likely to generate good fortune for yourself if you try to fix any aspect of your erotic life that feels wounded or awkward. For best results, suspend all your theories about the way physical intimacy should work in your life. Adopting a beginner’s mind could lead you to subtly spectacular breakthroughs. (P.S. You don’t necessarily need a partner to take full advantage of this big opening.) ARIES (March 21-April 19): Even if you are a wild-eyed adventure-seeker with extremist views and melodramatic yearnings, you’ll benefit from taking a moderate approach to life in the coming weeks. In fact, you’re most likely to attract the help and inspiration you need if you adopt the strategy used by Goldilocks in the fairy tale “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”: neither excessive nor underdone, neither extravagant nor restrained, neither bawdy, loud, and in-your-face nor demure, quiet, and passive—but rather just right. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Some of my readers love me but also hate me. They are drawn to my horoscopes in the hope that I will help relieve them of their habitual pain, but then get mad at me when I do just that. In retrospect, they feel lost without the familiar companionship of their habitual pain. It had been a centerpiece of their identity, a source of stability, and when it’s gone, they don’t know who they are any more. Are you like these people, Taurus? If so, you might want to

avoid my horoscopes for a while. I will be engaged in a subtle crusade to dissolve your angst and agitation. And it all starts now with this magic spell: Your wound is a blessing. Discover why. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my dream last night, bad guys wearing white hats constrained you in a canvas straitjacket, then further wrapped you up with heavy steel chain secured by three padlocks. They drove you to a weedy field behind an abandoned warehouse and left you there in the pitch dark. But you were indomitable. By dawn, you had miraculously wriggled your way out of your confinement. Then you walked back home, free and undaunted. Here’s my interpretation of the dream: You now have special skills as an escape artist. No cage can hold you. No riddle can stump you. No tangle can confuse you. (P.S.: For best results, trust yourself even more than you usually do.) CANCER (June 21-July 22): The next four weeks will be a favorable time to come all the way home. Here are nine prompts for how to accomplish that: 1. Nourish your roots. 2. Strengthen your foundations. 3. Meditate about where you truly belong. 4. Upgrade the way you attend to your selfcare. 5. Honor your living traditions. 6. Make a pilgrimage to the land where your ancestors lived. 7. Deepen your intimacy with the earth. 8. Be ingenious about expressing your tenderness. 9. Reinvigorate your commitment to the influences that nurture and support you. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What tools will work best for the tasks you’ll be invited to perform in the coming weeks? A sledgehammer or tweezers? Pruning shears or a sewing machine? A monkey wrench or a screwdriver? Here’s my guess: Always have your entire toolbox on hand. You may need to change tools in mid-task—or even use several tools for the same task. I can envision at least one situation that would benefit from you alternating between a sledgehammer and tweezers.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, mythsavvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

Jonesin’ Crossword

MATT JONES

“It’s the Five-O!”—and I’m nowhere near Hawaii. ACROSS 1 Made some brownies 6 Alert heard in the night, maybe 11 Fire dept. ranks 14 GE competitor 15 Former emperor Selassie 16 Granola granule 17 First #1 hit for the Black Eyed Peas 19 “___ gotta go now ...” 20 “Fatal Instinct” actor Armand 21 It’s not worth a dime 23 Charges 26 6 or 9, but not 69 27 Big-headed? 30 Can’t help but 32 Healing plant 33 Peninsula in the news 35 Big galoot 38 “I’ll take that as ___” 39 Cocktails with umbrellas 40 Like borrowed library books, eventually 41 Limbo prop 42 Favorable trend 43 M’s associate

44 Certain Sooner Stater 46 Pipsqueaks 47 Canine complaint 49 Gives lip 52 Arrive by horse 54 Hypothetical questions 58 Abbr. on military mail 59 Band with the 1998 #1 hit “Iris” 62 Co. big shot 63 Item dropped in Road Runner cartoons 64 Disney film set in China 65 Go awry 66 Author Zora ___ Hurston 67 French parts of the U.S.? DOWN 1 Rum-soaked cake 2 ___ Lee (singer with the album “Mission Bell”) 3 “Get Smart” enemy org. 4 All together 5 Coleman of

“Boardwalk Empire” and “9 to 5” 6 Kicks 7 Words before “Spock” and “Not Spock,” in autobiography titles 8 Tombstone inscription 9 Musk of Tesla Motors 10 What traditionalists may be averse to 11 Befit, like clothes 12 “Star Trek” actor who came out in 2005 13 Long-legged marsh bird 18 12-time All-Star Mel 22 Op. ___ (footnote abbr.) 24 Yellowfin, alternatively 25 Singer/TV personality Braxton 27 “Born From Jets” car company 28 Forearm component 29 Salesman’s selling style, way back when 31 Mineral deposit 33 Salary maximums 34 Awards presented

by the Romance Writers of America 36 Patty or Selma, to Maggie 37 Government agents 39 Do-over shot 43 Make a prison break 45 Much-maligned director ___ Boll 46 File with software instructions 47 2016 “America’s Got Talent” winner VanderWaal 48 More ready to be picked 50 Massively ripped 51 “Dexter” airer, for short 53 Fourth piggy’s portion 55 ___ J (rapper/ producer and brother of the late J Dilla) 56 Like a pancake 57 IDs with two hyphens 60 Fertility clinic specimens 61 Hodges of baseball fame

Copyright © 2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 798 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 45

FOOD & DRINK ON THE BEAT

Blinded By The Light Of Day Officer Alex comes to term with being awake in the daylight hours

“

ALEX TEACH

I was a time traveler; in the daylight hours it’s still ‘yesterday’ to me and it was more than these aliens could process so the time between dawn and arriving at my blacked-out bedroom was a race.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

I was easing down the highway in the early morning light of what was a new day to some but the end of a long day to me, and I couldn’t get home fast enough. I was vulnerable here. I was a midnight man and unaccustomed to the details the light provides as well as the people that bathed themselves in it, and I could relate to neither. I didn’t blame them for their lifestyles mind you, but I may as well have been in a different (and potentially hostile) country. I was a time traveler; in the daylight hours it’s still “yesterday” to me and it was more than these aliens could process so the time between dawn and arriving at my blacked-out bedroom was a race. This was my mindset when I rounded a curve on the interstate and came upon a motor cop with a customer on the shoulder, and I felt instantly at ease. He was leaning through the passenger side window of the car with an elbow propped up just casually enough to make you miss the fact his gun hand was inches from the pistol on his hip, and the smile on his face as I passed served the same purpose as it camouflaged the squint of his eyes behind his shades. Motor cops are a unique breed amongst cops, which are weirdo’s enough as it is on a good day. They are not pack animals; they are solitary beasts used to only the company of the highway and the interior of their cars or the exteriors of their bikes. They are fierce creatures of habit and resistant to change and find comfort in the repetition of their duties, and quite often won’t even promote up for fear of losing their jobs in what cops universally refer to as “Traffic.” They are deceptively quiet in that you don’t know they’re there until provoked, and God help you when they bring the thunder. I’m not sure if it’s a passiveggressive thing or just a result of profes-

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sional isolation, but never assume for a second the wheels aren’t turning below the surface when you’re in the same room with one. The quiet demeanor also hides the fact they’re probably the smartest (or certainly the most mathematically proficient) person in the room. Their innate knowledge of physics and engineering actually further isolates them from the rest of the herd because they are almost uncomfortable with their own knowledge when it comes to the skills acquired over the years and hundreds of hours of training they receive in the field of traffic crash reconstruction. Grade, surface type, moisture…they knew more about drag coefficients than a politician knew about kissing babies. As solitary as they were though, when you saw more than one at a time it was both fascinating and terrible because while you were observing a group of highly trained and highly skilled individuals almost wordlessly working together like a well-oiled machine, they only came together when a crash was so bad the cops basically had to call the cops. The roadways and highways around

us are harsh mistresses. Easily taken for granted and wildly unforgiving, and the only thing they do better than taking vehicle tires to task is rending flesh from bone in any increments one could choose, depending on their mass and impact speed. You don’t look at certain patches of roadways in this profession without remembering having to step around unidentifiable body parts, and you don’t look at certain classic Cadillac steering wheel columns without remembering what they looked like sticking out from between someone’s shoulder blades after making a poor choice in crossing traffic against a Helig Meyer truck… and this horror show to some was an “office” to them. Did I mention they were solitary? Yes… I was no longer the weirdest guy on the highway, and it brought me comfort. I felt my shoulders slump a little and actually felt more tired than uncomfortable as the blue lights still strobed in my rearview mirror from the Harley casually tilted on its kickstand awaiting its rider. Till the next time, you beautiful weirdo.

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of the fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” —Thich Nhat Hanh We all know people who seem to be addicted to their pain, be that pain physical, psychological or even spiritual. Suffering can provide a sort of comfortable cocoon, a place where familiarity is equated with safety, and change is the enemy, requiring far too much strength, courage and faith in oneself. It’s just not worth it, we might tell ourselves. It’s safer here in the dark. What the brave know, however, is that stepping off, even from the tiniest of cliffs, allows us to experience the abundant riches that are waiting. When we trod the path less taken, we grow, we stretch, we become more available for the next exciting step in the journey. And the next. Consider this: Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. And let it go. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • SEPTEMBER 22, 2016 • THE PULSE • 47