The Pulse 14.40 » October 5, 2017

OCTOBER 5, 2017

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

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VOL. 14, NO. 40 • OCTOBER 5, 2017

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CELEBRATING CHATTANOOGA

This Sunday, people from all around the region are invited to head downtown for one of the biggest block parties the city has ever seen, the Chattanooga City Celebration and Ciclovia.

TWISTING AND TURNING METALWORK INTO ART

This month, one of Chattanooga’s best and brightest young sculptors, Turry Lindstrom, is moving away to pursue his career in Los Angeles, and we will miss him.

JAM 4 JAM FUNDRAISER FOR JAMAAL WOODY

This may come as a shock to you non-musician types, but the general health and benefits package for musicians and artists is basically, “don’t get sick.” Unfortunately, we do and when that happens it can be most ruinous.

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A SOUTHERN CELEBRATION OF QUEER CINEMA

Presented by The Chattanooga Film Festival and Tennessee Valley Pride, the festival will showcase queer cinema with narrative features, shorts, and documentaries from across the country and around the world.

ALSO INSIDE

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What Is This Thing Called Pride?

The enduring and much-loved comedian, actress and out lesbian, Lily Tomlin, is quoted as saying, “I always wanted to be somebody.

Now I realize I should have been more specific.”

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

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CONSIDER THIS

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MUSIC REVIEWS

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SHADES OF GREEN

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NEW IN THEATERS

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ARTS CALENDAR

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

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HALLOWEEN GUIDE

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JONESIN' CROSSWORD

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MUSIC CALENDAR

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ON THE BEAT

Dr. Richard L. PimentalHabib, Ph.D., C.C.H., better known as “Dr. Rick”, is an author, psychotherapist, educator and minister, and holds a doctorate in clinical hypnotherapy with an emphasis in mind/body wellness.

Tony Mraz spent the '80s growing up in Dalton before moving to Chattanooga in '95 to attend the Chattanooga School for the Arts and Sciences, which enabled him to earn a scholarship to the Kansas City Art Institute.

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BEGINNINGS ∙ POLITICS

Celebrating Chattanooga Local neighborhoods band together for a ciclovia and festival

By Michael Thomas Pulse contributor

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Matt Jones Sandra Kurtz • Tony Mraz Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Michael Thomas Editorial Interns Kelley J. Bostian • Jessica Manning Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Jeff Camp Brittany Dreon • Rick Leavell Cindee McBride • Libby Phillips John Rodriguez • Logan Vandergriff

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com Facebook @chattanoogapulse THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2017 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

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HIS SUNDAY, PEOPLE FROM ALL around the region are invited to head downtown for one of the biggest block parties the city has ever seen, the Chattanooga City Celebration and Ciclovia.

The block parties will be strung out along a six-mile route with a protected car-free lane to allow everyone to safely enjoy the journey between parties without having to drive, ranging from downtown all the way to Glass Street in east Chattanooga.

“The idea is to give Chattanoogans the opportunity to see the city and its communities in a different light, to interact with others they normally wouldn’t interact with,” explains local bicycle and greenways advocate Jim Johnson. “And by making this a biking and walking event, we’re encouraging people to get out of their cars and connect with each other in a fun, unique and energizing way.”

The event will run all afternoon and gradually progress from west to east, with each neighborhood party lasting around two hours. Each party will have a unique theme and all of them will have music, food, entertainment and activities.

“We really want the event to be interactive, so we’ll have games, dancing, art projects, activities for the kids—anything to get people engaged,” says City Celebration Director Shannon Burke. “We’re working hard to pack each party with as much fun stuff as possible to encourage everyone to explore the whole route. And it’s all free!”

The first party will be at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center in the MLK Neighborhood from Noon to 2 p.m. and the last party will be on Glass Street in the Boyce Station and Glass Farm neighborhoods from 4 to 7 p.m. In between, there will be block parties in Highland Park, Ridgedale, and Orchard Knob.

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But Burke says that it’s more than just the parties that make the City Celebration special. “Engaging such a diverse group of people to make this event happen—neighborhood organizations, community activists, non-profit organizations, city leaders—has been a conversation starter to get people talking about these neighborhoods and to get neighbors talking to each other.”

The idea of giving cyclists and pedestrians safe access to public streets for a set period of time started in Bogota, Colombia (hence the Spanish name “ciclovia”) almost 40 years ago when the streets were closed to vehicles on a Sunday in the mid-1970s.

Now, Bogota hosts ciclovias every Sunday with up to two million people joining in—cyclists, runners, skateboarders, skaters, walkers, and people of all backgrounds and abilities. Along the route are free aerobics and dance classes, food carts and trucks, and stages in city parks for live entertainment

and music.

Chattanooga’s version of a ciclovia will follow that model with activities concentrated at each of the neighborhood block parties.

Currently, ciclovias take place in more than 20 countries, including the United States. At last count there were close to 50 ciclovia events (also called “open streets”) in cities like Miami, Seattle, San Francisco, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and as close as Nashville, Knoxville, and Atlanta.

“This event helps transform our neighborhoods into destinations and making it easier for residents to safely expand their geographic comfort zones,” notes Chattanooga Mayor Andy Berke. “The event also promotes interpersonal connection, getting people out of their cars to enjoy and celebrate the uniqueness of our neighborhoods and the presence of each other”.

For complete event details, visitchattanoogacelebrates.com as well as following @CHACelebrates on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon

by Rob Rogers

“In case no one told you today… you’re beautiful. You’re needed.

You’re alive for a reason. You’re stronger than you think. You’re gonna get through this. Don’t ever give up. I love you.”

Honoring The Birthplace Of Barbecue When we sit down for a meal, we usually don’t wonder how long ago the first meatloaf was made, or the first time someone mashed potatoes.

A delicacy’s history is often forgotten and we’re left with just a delicious dish.

But to know the origins of something as Southern as barbeque should be something we take pride in.

The legend of Lamar Johnson’s famous barbeque dates back to the turn of the century, when back in 1903 Johnson was smoking whole hogs in a pit in the ground in Ooltewah and serving it with an elixir mixture of his own

making that is known today as honey barbeque sauce.

Historians claim this to be the first barbeque sauce, and whether or not it’s true, from the smoking pit we’ve

gained a Southern staple most of us couldn’t bear to live without.

In honor of Johnson’s namesake, this weekend will be the second annual Lamar Johnson Classic at Cambridge Square in Ooltewah, a barbeque smoking event for the best smokers in town to show off their skills and compete for the Grand Championship with their sticky sweet meats.

Starting at 7 a.m., barbeques will be fired up and meats will be prepped for a day of smoking. Come out this Saturday for all the smells, sights, and tastes.

— Brooke Brown

Pick one of the above that you really need to hear today. Or pick one that you wish someone special would tell you. (Who’s that someone?) Or perhaps, choose one for someone else.

Why is it so much easier to say, even in jest, “Dude, you’re such a loser!”

Or, “Don’t be such an idiot!” As an adult, when said in jest, we might handle it fine.

But what if it’s originally from a wounding, abusive childhood, and the echoes still feel raw? Not so easy. Or maybe it’s the words that we most fear, that we’re already telling ourselves.

Consider this: Every chance you get, verbalize the beautiful. Compliment someone. Hug someone. And be part of creating a world that keeps the good stuff going.

— Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

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COLUMN ∙ SHADES OF GREEN

Houston, Can We Hear You? The southern U.S. has become ground zero for climate change

Sandra Kurtz

Pulse contributor

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URRICANE HARVEY HIT HOUSton hard! Several days of excessive rain and wind flooded the city with four feet of rain in places where residents never before worried.

City fathers admitted the storm surge didn’t lead to heavy flooding, but instead an obsolete stormwater drainage system with lack of green space for drainage, too much concrete, and too little stormwater regulation.

It’s a lesson flood-prone Chattanooga should heed. Despite climate change guaranteeing more frequent, intense and wetter storms, the Homebuilders Association of Greater Chattanooga has asked Chattanooga City Council to reduce South Chickamauga Creek stormwater regulations. That’s a senseless and threatening step backwards.

This is the statement in the ordinance the Homebuilders Association wishes to eliminate: for new developments greater than one (1) acre of disturbance or part of a larger plan of common development that will exceed one (1) acre of disturbance in the South Chickamauga Creek Watershed (as delineated by the City), the first one and six-tenths (1.6) inches of SOV is the required minimum design standard used to manage (infiltrate, evapotranspire, harvest and/or use) stormwater.

So, you ask, what is SOV? That stands for stay-on-volume meaning that during any rainfall, the homebuilder must have arranged property in order to hold a certain designated amount of rainwater with no runoff.

For South Chickamauga Creek Watershed, it’s 1.6 inches. Now 1.6” SOV is above state requirements, but South Chickamauga Creek has two endangered species, is on the state threatened and impaired streams list, is polluted primarily due to sediment and habitat alteration, and is highly floodable. It’s also part of sewer consent decree work.

For these reasons, city water quality people determined that homebuilders in the South Chickamauga Creek watershed should adhere to this higher standard to protect water quality, wetlands, wildlife, plants and the environment. And by the way, a large percentage of Chattanooga’s drinking water comes from South Chickamauga Creek.

Why is this 1.6” SOV requirement critical? With increasing rainfall during catastrophic storms, property where homebuilders have put in green water-holding infrastructure (e.g. bioswales, rain gardens, green roofs, and natural landscaping) prevents excessive flooding and sediment runoff into neighbors’ yards. It keeps the creek and tributaries from carrying sediment to the Tennessee River or covering creek bottom dwellers.

Further, taxpayers won’t absorb higher stormwater fees just to pay for city repair and restoration caused by property runoff that doesn’t meet the requirement. Adjacent homeowners are spared the expense of repairing damage too.

When Chattanooga’s stormwater regulations came up for review in 2014, the Stormwater Regulations Board held a public meeting.

Representatives from South Chickamauga Creek Greenway Alliance (SCCGA) and homebuilders participated in discussions as regulations came to final form.

Since then, unbeknownst to citizen watershed advocacy group SCCGA, the Homebuilders Association leaders held behind-thescenes meetings with state and local decision makers insisting on relaxing regulations. The Stormwater Regulations Board has recommended acceptance of all the newly proposed regulations except the 1.6” SOV requirement for South Chickamauga Creek. That section goes to the City Council with no recommendation.

Now it is up to citizens to raise voices supporting strong regulations. The Council will likely consider approval this month. Despite Homebuilders Association’s wringing of hands over how much higher costs are going to be and how there won’t be affordable housing, data shows that is not the case. In fact, some member homebuilders say they have not yet been asked

their opinions.

Bill Payne, Chattanooga City Engineer, told the Stormwater Regulations Board that when he was hired, he was asked if he favored fish or jobs.

An answer is not simple. Jobs and fish depend on a healthy ecosystem. We are interdependent on that complex natural system.

We all, including homebuilders, bear the burden and responsibility of doing our part and not passing the risk and cost to others in these changing times.

It’s fall. Invite a homebuilder to walk on the South Chickamauga Creek Greenway. See the colorful beauty as well as the sediment and banks eroded from runoff and floods.

Surely homebuilders can figure out how to build affordable homes and be water-smart too.

Sandra Kurtz is an environmental community activist, chair of the South Chickamauga Creek Greenway Alliance, and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute. You can visit her website to learn more at enviroedu.net

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COVER STORY

What Is This Thing Called Pride?

It's time to face up to the reality that gay rights arew not just for liberals anymore

By Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

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Pulse contributor

HE ENDURING AND MUCH-LOVED COMEDIAN, actress and out lesbian, Lily Tomlin, is quoted as saying, “I always wanted to be somebody. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”

When I was a kid and the adults would ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The usual answers were fireman, nurse, astronaut, cowboy…the heroes of a generation perhaps not as sophisticated as our modern times force us to be. Now, the answer of a little girl might be, “I want to be a boy.” Or a boy might realize “I want to be a girl.”

At worst, these are horrifying responses for some parents, and at the least, it’s a lot for a lot of people to wrap their minds around.

One of my favorite quotes comes from prolific writer Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. who is quoted as saying, “If you really want to hurt your parents and you don’t have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the Arts.”

It does take nerve to be gay or lesbian. And it certainly takes nerve to be transgender. It takes a lot of guts to be who you are—from the questioning youth to the 85-year-old lesbian. And it takes a lot of soul-searching, and support, and therapy, and enormous strength to be who you feel yourself to be, especially when you don’t have familial, societal and religious support behind you.

When we stop to appreciate the enormity, for instance, of a transgender

person’s life-altering decision, we realize it ain’t about the bathrooms; it’s about the age-old set of homophobic reactions couched in the concern of “those people” being around my kids.

It’s about the difficulty conservative society has with anyone who’s different, let alone someone who has decided to be different.

And trans folks may be “different” to a lot of mainstream-thinkers, but to them, they have courageously emerged from being different—more accurately, from feeling inauthentic—to being who they truly are.

With former President Barack Obama announcing his support for same-sex marriage, the queer community has had a lot to celebrate in recent years. And our nationwide Pride events, whether outrageous and colorful, or subdued and home-grown, have reflected that.

Glitter aside, the greater community, including our allies, has shared the call to arms of: “No civil rights movement has ever failed—and we will not fail.”

Such encouragement was the breath of fresh air the LGBTQ+ movement needed. However, this does not negate the undeniable history of often brutal treatment of gays, lesbians and transgender citizens and their lack of basic human rights in the eyes of government

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for most of this nation’s history.

The movement has made enormous strides over the past few decades, and the recent surge in public support for the once unthinkable concept of same-sex marriage reflects this quite radical shift in American culture. Homosexuality and support for the rights of gay and lesbian Americans are now widely accepted, even among Republicans, as a large majority of Americans say they know someone who is gay.

But remember: America was not always so accepting and the rights we can all enjoy now are once again, under attack.

It was a different world when gays

and lesbians were still relatively invisible in American society. Many gays lived in ghettos of their own in major cities, and most lived their lives in the closet, concealing their sexual orientation to keep their jobs or prevent eviction.

Commercial establishments were allowed to refuse service to (perceived) gay customers, and police were rarely sympathetic to gay victims of assault and other violent crimes.

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) once listed homosexuality as a sociopathic personality disorder, and gays were routinely characterized in the media by crude stereotypes.

Because of the APA designation,

COVER STORY 29 states had laws that allowed gays to be detained by the police simply on the suspicion they were gay. According to historian David Carter, electroshock therapy and lobotomies were sometimes used to “cure” homosexuals back in the ’50s and ’60s, and in almost all states, professional licenses could be revoked or denied on the basis of homosexuality, so that professionals could lose their livelihoods.

Known gays and lesbians were forbidden from working for the federal government, the FBI and many police departments maintained lists of “suspected” homosexuals, and the U.S. Post Office actually kept track of addresses to which gay-related material was mailed.

In today’s culture it’s hard to believe such a time existed, but it was in that context of routine and widespread persecution of gay people that the modern gay civil rights movement was born in 1969 amid riots set off by police raids at the Stonewall Inn, a Greenwich Village bar. There existed a prohibition against openly gay members serving in our armed forces.

Hard to imagine? Think about what our current administration is trying to do about transgender military personnel. It’s the same old song, but the spotlight has shifted to a smaller, lesssupported and therefore more defenseless segment of the LGBTQ+ population.

While gay and lesbian legal equality has vastly improved, many state and local governments still find ways to practice discrimination; laws in some areas are not well enforced. And while adoption by gay couples is now legal nationwide, there are many hoops to jump through that heterosexual couples may take for granted.

The rate of adolescent suicide for youth who are perceived to be gay, lesbian or trans is still over thirty percent higher than for non-queer teens.

The legacy of virulent homophobia and

“Critics of LGBT rights efforts would be wise to learn the history of institutional homophobia in America and how it helps drive today’s gay rights movement, just as institutional racism inspired and drove the civil rights movement.” legal inequality looms large in many parts of this country, especially the South, and undoubtedly will for years to come.

Critics of LGBT rights efforts would be wise to learn the history of institutional homophobia in America and how it helps drive today’s gay rights movement, just as institutional racism inspired and drove the civil rights movement. Gay rights aren’t just for liberals anymore: polls consistently show that a majority of Americans support marriage, adoption, and military service for the GLBTQ+ community.

So, where are we with all of this

now?

I had the privilege of knowing a good friend, Paul, who worked in HIV education. He was, therefore, devoted to teaching others how to stay healthy and alive. Everyone knew him to be a kind, generous, intelligent person who was making a difference. What most did not know was that Paul was kicked out of his home at age 14 after coming out to his family as gay. He was one of the lucky ones: His determination to sublimate his pain and rejection into something positive and lifeaffirming saved him.

Paul himself became HIV positive

and died at a young age. How different the outcome of his life might have been, how much more might he have accomplished, had he been accepted for who he was, rather than judged and abandoned by his own family.

Remember, everything about AIDS has changed dramatically since the beginning of the epidemic in the early ‘80s. Millennials weren’t around for this, but many of us recall that AIDS began as a baffling, terrifying death sentence, danced its way through almost all segments of the population as one group after another experienced rises in infection, slowly migrated to become a manageable disease, and is now much easier to avoid contracting.

Of course, Millennials also have never known a planet without HIV. On a hopeful note, I know a lesbian couple, one of whom is transgender, who are pregnant with their second child. They have the unconditional love of both their families, have satisfying and successful careers (are very grateful for doting grandparents), and are well-integrated and liked in their community. They are committed to raising self-aware, loving and kind children.

Happily, I hear fewer and fewer stories of familial abandonment as the decades roll on. But don’t for a moment think that hurtful and oftentimes violent rejection doesn’t still happen in our current society, and right here in our scenic city, because it does.

So this is why we protest and resist.

This is why we march, hold Pride festivals, and vote. This is why we do our best to take care of our own. We don’t always get along—or even understand each other—but we must continue to move forward, with hope, creating the promise for the next generation that things will get better. We’re not alone.

We’re queer, we’re here…now let’s get back to work.

Until next time: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Twisting And Turning Metalwork Into Art Turry Lindstrom creates contorted fanciful metal dreams

Flying Sculptures High In The Sky This Saturday, you’ll have a chance to see kites flying like never before with “Sculptures in the Sky” at (and above) the Sculpture Fields at Montague Park. The air will be filled with enormous colorful kites, stunt kites, and even Rokkaku battle kites, which will be flown by members of the Chattanooga Police and Fire departments.

Rokkaku are traditional six-sided Japanese fighter kites, known for being stable and rising quickly. Fighting these kites involves tipping over and destabilizing the opponent’s kite or cutting into their line. And with departmental pride on the line, you know the police officers and firefighters will be bringing their “A” game Many of the kites on display will be up to twenty feet wide and must be anchored to the ground, since they are too big to control physically. Event organizers are hoping for winds to be stable (ideal is 10-12 mph), which is common on October, and makes for perfect kite flying weather.

“Kites originated in China where someone might have seen a leaf blowing down the path and thought to attach a string,” explains Chuck Jones, owner of River City Kites.

“Kites have developed into a true art form and are now flown all over the world.”

This is one of the more colorful and high-flying events around, and as a bonus there will be food and beer venders to enjoy while watching the amazing show, along with free kite designing for all. — Jessica Manning Sculptures in the Sky Saturday, Noon Sculpture Fields at Montague Park 1800 Polk St. (423) 226-7288 www.sculpturefields.org 10 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Photo by Steven LLorca

By Tony Mraz

Pulse contributor

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HIS MONTH, ONE OF CHATTANOOGA’S best and brightest young sculptors is moving away to pursue his career in Los Angeles, and we will miss him.

Turry Lindstrom’s H.R. Giger-esque non-objective sculptures are visions of alien forms, conceived by the unconscious. The contorted metal of these haunting works writhes and dances like robotic creatures from sci-fi movies, inhabiting their bases with an uncanny balance.

Turry was born and raised into art by his father, portrait artist Bart Lindstrom.

“We would always go to museums—I have been to over 50 museums during my childhood,” he

says, reminiscing about his youth and when his father would travel around the country painting family portraits. “I’ve grown up absorbing and being saturated by art. You could say art is in my genes because my father is an artist.”

His sister followed in her father’s footsteps, becoming a portrait artist as well and thus intimidating Turry by his family’s creative prowess.

“I grew up feeling like I was never good at drawing, like I could never do what they did.” Turry says. “They could do such great imagery, and I didn’t feel like I had a natural knack for it.”

He did, however, have an eye for it—a subtle understanding of art.

“My sister has always loved my opinions about her art,” he explains. “She would ask me about it, and I would look at it, and give her an answer, and

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

“The contorted metal of these haunting works writhes and dances like robotic creatures from sci-fi movies, inhabiting their bases with an uncanny balance.”

I would see her adjust to my answer.”

He was surprised by her reactions, which served to inspire him. Her words of encouragement gave him confidence. She told him that had more creativity in one of his fingertips than she had in her whole body, but he just didn’t know it yet.

He didn’t find a medium that he was comfortable with until his early twenties, when he started a career working on hydro turbines inside of dams, giving him his introduction to metalworking.

“We would have to re-shape the big fins where all of the water flows through the metal tunnels for the turbines to spin,” Turry reminisces. “That is where I learned how to shape, mold, and really understand the element of metal. After a few years of doing that, I remember walking up to a huge metal sculpture in a park, and I looked at it and was able to figure out exactly how they did it.”

He was incredulous. “That’s all you did?” he thought to himself. He felt a

stirring in his heart, and realized that if he had a chance to do sculpture, he would be good at it.

“I could just feel it,” he explains. “I just understood it, I could see how they created it—as opposed to when I’m looking at somebody’s paintings, and I look in close, and see a hundred tiny strokes that create a shadow area—I can’t even understand how to do that.”

When Turry saw metal sculptures, he could dissect them, and understand them. That was his first bit of “seeing it.” He became frustrated with working day jobs, and decided to be a metal artist. He built up the courage to ask his stepfather Tony Roland, a patron of the arts, for some help.

Tony set him up with equipment, materials, and helped him to turn his garage into a studio, giving him the push

Photo by Prema Lindstrom

to get into sculptural metal working.

That became a deep diving into himself, to figure out what it is to be an artist—to find the boldness to create something, and call it his own.

“I remembered this pattern that I used to draw as a little kid. I could never draw, but if I drew this pattern, it would make cool shapes and designs,” he says. “I drew this pattern on the metal, and cut it out, and I noticed that the metal stayed together no matter how I drew it.”

That pattern became the basis for his sculptural style, which is as distinctive

as it is relatable. As his style started to grow, he began to identify with Pollock and Basquiat, to let himself go and allow his unconscious to take over.

“Every time I did that, it had a feel of balance to it,” Turry elaborates. “Let it go, feel it, balance, feel the flow.”

In a few short weeks, Turry is moving out west to sculpt full time, making a new body of work that is designed to hang on walls. “I never want to feel like I have arrived somewhere in my work,” he says. “I want to keep growing, ebbing and flowing, and see how far my creativity can take me.”

THU10.5

FRI10.6

SAT10.7

Laughing & Screaming Opening Reception

The Woman in Black

Fall Native Plant Sale

Come check out the new work from Swine Gallery curator Aaron Cowan.

6 p.m.

Swine Gallery 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com

Set in an abandoned theatre, a timid lawyer hires a professional actor to tutor him in the performing arts.

7:30 p.m.

Historic Mars Theatre 117 N Chattanooga St. LaFayette, GA bapshows.com

Come out this weekend and learn about (and buy) the best fall plants to spice up your yard.

9 a.m.

Reflection Riding Arboretum & Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. reflectionriding.org

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Sandra Paynter Washburn Art

THURSDAY10.5 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com Throwback Thursday 4 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org The Get Down Prom 6 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Laughing & Screaming Opening Reception 6 p.m.

Swine Gallery 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com The Doctrine of Discovery, Trauma, and Lament 6:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Chattanooga Dances!

7 p.m.

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Center for Creative Arts 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5929 centerforcreativearts.net Erik Griffin 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

FRIDAY10.6 Fall Native Plant Sale 9 a.m.

Reflection Riding Arboretum & Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Book Sale 9 a.m.

Chattanooga Library

Northgate Branch 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 757-5313 chattlibrary.org Chattanooga Market at Erlanger 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. chattanoogamarket.com Reception for Victoria Kile & Sandra Paynter Washburn 5 p.m.

In-Town Gallery 26 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Sybil Topel Fine Art Photos 5 p.m.

Area 61 61 E. Main St. (423) 648-9367 Best Cellars 5:30 p.m.

ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT Fans of the hit Comedy Central series Workaholics instantly recognize Erik Griffin as the show’s iconic series regular Montez. And he's even funnier in person.

Erik Griffin The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

The Chattanoogan 1201 Broad St. (423) 265-2825 wineoverwater.org Fall Into Art 5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. 423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com Free Introductory Swing & Salsa Classes 6 p.m.

Dance Tonight Chattanooga 46 E. Main St. (423) 400-9829 dancetonightchattanooga.com Reception for Scott Hill & Brian Russell 6:30 p.m.

River Gallery 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 ext. 5 river-gallery.com The Woman in Black 7:30 p.m.

Historic Mars Theatre 117 N. Chattanooga St. LaFayette, GA (706) 996-8350 bapshows.com Erik Griffin 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Improv Showdown 8 p.m.

First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com The Floor is Yours:

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Consumption Out In The World 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Consumption 8 p.m.

Covenant College Sanderson Auditorium 14049 Scenic Hwy. (706) 419-1051 covenant.edu The Long Game 10 p.m.

First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com

SATURDAY10.7 The Rivalry Run 8 a.m.

Camp Jordan Park Camp Jordan Pkwy. rivalry.run SuperHeroes Run For Hope 5K 8:30 a.m.

Bethel Bible Village 3001 Hamill Rd. (423) 842-5757 bethelbiblevillage.org Fall Native Plant Sale 9 a.m.

Reflection Riding Arboretum & Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Scenic City CruiZers 7th Annual Open Car Show 9 a.m.

Lee Pointe 6400 Lee Hwy. (423) 704-7017 sceniccitycruizers.com BarnFest 2017 9 a.m.

The Barn Nursery 1801 E. 24th St. Pl. (423) 698-2276 barnnursery.com Book Sale 9 a.m.

Chattanooga Library Northgate Branch 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 757-5313 chattlibrary.org Annual Fall Festival 9 a.m.

Signal Mountain Nursery 1100 Hubbard Rd. (423) 886-3174 signalmtnnursery.com St. Alban’s Hixson Market 9:30 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 River Market Yoga 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Northside Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496

chattanoogarivermarket.com Drag Queen Story Hour with Miss Allysa Paige 11 a.m.

Star Line Books 1467 Market St. Ste. 106 (423) 777-5629 starlinebooks.com Brainerd Farmers Market 11 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 Farmer’s Market 11 a.m.

Nutrition World 6237 Vance Rd. (423) 892-4085 nutritionw.com Adventure Cooking Club Noon Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Sculptures In The Sky Noon Sculpture Fields 1800 Polk St. (423) 226-7288 sculpturefields.org Octoberfest Noon Cambridge Square 4362 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesquaretn.com Book Reading & Signing With Sandra Worsham 2 p.m.

Star Line Books 1467 Market St. Ste. 106 (423) 777-5629 starlinebooks.com

Consumption 2:30 p.m.

Covenant College Sanderson Auditorium 14049 Scenic Hwy. (706) 419-1051 covenant.edu Chip Chapman’s Wild Night 4 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org Wine Over Water 5 p.m.

Walnut Street Bridge 1 Walnut St. (423) 265-2825 wineoverwater.org Grand Opening NDC 6 p.m.

Nooga Diversity Center 1100 Market St. (423) 521-0093 noogadiversitycenter.net The Woman in Black 7:30 p.m.

Historic Mars Theatre 117 N. Chattanooga St. LaFayette, GA (706) 996-8350 bapshows.com Erik Griffin 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

SUNDAY10.8 BarnFest 2017 9 a.m.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • THE PULSE • 13

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Chattanooga Pride Festival The Barn Nursery 1801 E. 24th St. Pl. (423) 698-2276 barnnursery.com Chattanooga Market 11 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Chattanooga Pride Festival 1 p.m.

Ross’s Landing 100 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 697-9710 tennesseevalleypride.com Russian Ark 6:30 p.m.

Heritage House Arts & Civic Center 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474 Erik Griffin 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY10.9 Red Bank Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Red Bank United Methodist 3800 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 838-9804

TUESDAY10.10 Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Downtown Library 1001 Broad St.

14 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

(423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Resilient Film Premier & Party 6:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com

WEDNESDAY10.11 Middle Eastern Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market at Erlanger East 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger East Hospital 1751 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Main Street Market 4 p.m.

522 W. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Sunset Night Hike 7 p.m.

Stringer’s Ridge Park (423) 643-6888 riverrockschattanooga.com Comedy Open Mic 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

the Pulse

Halloween Guide the haunted cavern welcome to the quiet little town of dread hollow

blowing springs farm get into the seasonal spirit with family fun

plus: haunted houses & halloween events WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO SEE, WHEN TO SCREAM

your weekly guide to chattanooga's favorite halloween haunts

The Haunted Cavern

R

uby Falls Haunted Cavern has teamed up with Fear Connection to create a bigger and better haunted house this year, giving visitors more scares for the buck.

This also means the Haunted Cavern is no longer at Ruby Falls, but has been moved to a 29,000-squarefoot location in Lookout Valley in the town of “Dread Hollow”.

“We moved the Haunted Cavern this year to a location with double the space to accommodate the storyline of Dread Hollow,” said Fear Connection’s Todd Patton. “Our actors will be in an environment with more freedom to intensify and interact with the patrons. Plus, the first 50 to 75 people in the door will encounter more characters on Main Street in Dread Hollow.”

Dread Hollow is a place doomed

by its past, appearing to outsiders as an unassuming small town, but enveloping the blood of the innocent and evil that continues to lurk in the dark. Mercy Harker, a respected founding member of the community, convinced the citizens of Dread Hollow to believe her wicked plan that select girls were a coven of witches.

In 1615, these innocent victims were found guilty of witchcraft and hung and burned as a result. Mercy’s spell of horror has haunted the town ever since and waits to trap those who enter.

Dread Hollows has numerous rooms you walk through and each has been crafted with tremendous detail. I was in shock, walking through rooms that were so well crafted that they take you deep into a dark and musky swampland or transport you

into a creepy child’s playroom.

Unlike other haunted houses Dread Hollows not only transports you visually, but are able to use your sense of smell to make your fears a reality. You will have chills as you walk through the crematory room and find that it truly smells like burning flesh.

Each actor plays the part of their character perfectly and I promise they will make horrifying interactions with you from the time you pull into the parking lot to when you exit and quickly dash to the safety of your car.

The haunted experience will continue every Thursday through Sunday the whole month of October, including Halloween night. And trust us, you don’t want to miss TheScareFactor.com’s number one fan-voted must-see haunted house in Tennessee. — Jessica Manning

Blowing Springs Farm

I

t’s that time of year again, when the southern heat is slowly weaning away and the nights begin getting colder and longer. All of a sudden, shorts can’t protect anyone from the chilly winds that trigger a domino effect of fall festivities. Plaid flannels, pumpkin carving contests, haunted houses, and intricate corn mazes are becoming priorities.

There’s really only one place that blends these historic fall festivities into one family friendly experience: Blowing Springs Farm at the base of Lookout Mountain.

From the highway, a passing observer will easily be drawn to the iconic “See Rock City” barn overlooking a 10acre property and massive corn maze on its southern side. It’s beautiful and quaint, situated in an area that’s far enough from the city to provide some peace and quiet yet close enough that I wouldn’t even consider it a day trip.

The admission is only 10 bucks if

16 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • HALLOWEEN GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

you’re over the age of three. If you’re younger than that, you’ll walk (or toddle) in free of charge. This includes four activity tokens that serve as entry tickets to a plethora of activities.

Once you see the massive pumpkin slingshot it might be tempting to spend a token there over the tractor-pulled cow train your child will likely be drawn towards. Don’t worry, there are a few activities designed to satisfy all walks of life.

One of those activities is the staple of the entire property: the enchanted maze. I was told that it’s a completely different maze every year, and I definitely believe it. This is my third time visiting Blowing Springs but it’s also my third time getting lost somewhere in the middle of the maze and frustratingly taking shortcuts through it massive corn stalks. It’s actually a pretty exciting experience, being one of the few places in the world where a GPS won’t help you much.

The property also features a petting zoo with a pretty diverse collection of farm critters. The staff is warm and informative, and the animals seemed both happy and excited to be interacting with an affectionate crowd.

Many of the activities are designed to entertain children’s imaginations specifically. From duck races, pumpkin and toy design stations, racetracks, hay and train rides, and even the classic corn kernel swimming pool (which I jumped in despite receiving a few glares from observing parents). Overall, it’s a great place to introduce children to the charming fall traditions of Southern culture.

When you run out of tokens or the sun begins to fade, a conveniently located pumpkin stand will greet you on your way out. I highly suggest grabbing one as a souvenir. It’s a way to carry the memories of the day home and extend the fall festivities beyond Blowing Springs. — Kelley J. Bostian

Haunted Houses & Events Ruby Falls Haunted Cavern

Halloween Eerie Express

Thur-Sun & Halloween Ruby Falls 321 Browns Ferry Rd. (423) 821-2544 hauntedcavern.com

Fri & Sat in October Tennessee Valley Railroad 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com

Blowing Springs Farm

Haunted Trail

Fri-Sun till October 29 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (70) 820-2531 blowingspringsfarm.com Rocktoberfest Fall Festival

Sat & Sun in October Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

Escape Experience Chattanooga

Oct. 1-31 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 551-3306 escapeexperience.com

Acres of Darkness: Haunted Woods & Family Adventure

Oct. 13-14, 20-21, & 27-28 Audubon Acres 900 North Sanctuary Rd. (423) 892-1499 acresofdarkness.com Boo in the Zoo

Oct. 13-14 Enterprise South Nature Park 190 Still Hollow Loop (423) 893-3500 hamiltontn.gov/esnp

Oct. 1-31 257 Hwy. 307 E. Athens, TN (423) 746-9859 mayfieldmaze.com ODDtober

Fri & Sat in October Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Post-Mortem Haunted Trail

Tri-State Exhibition Center 200 Natures Trail S. McDonald, TN (423) 476-9310 postmortem.myfreesites.net Ringgold Haunted Depot

Chattanooga Ghost Tours

The Haunted Barn

Fall Hayrides & Campfires

Saturdays in October Cloudland Canyon State Park 122 Cloudland Canyon Park Rd. (706) 657-4050 gastateparks.org

1371 Hwy. 64 Cleveland, TN Fri - Sun through Oct. 29 (423) 650-0710 therivermaze.com WinnepeSPOOKah!

Fri & Sat in October Lake Winnepesaukah 1730 Lakeview Dr. (706) 866-5681 lakewinnie.com

Mayfield Corn Maze, Pumpkin Patch & Haunted Trail

Oct. 20-22 & 27-29 Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattzoo.org Nightly in October 57 E. Fifth St. (423) 800-5998 chattanoogaghosttours.com

The River Maze

Oct. 13-14, 20-21, 27-28 155 Depot St. (706) 935-3061 cityofringgoldga.gov

Fri & Sat in October 5017 McDonald Rd. McDonald, TN (423) 396-9790 thehauntedbarnchattanooga.com The Haunted Hilltop

Fri & Sat in October 8235 Highway 58 (423) 488-3956 thehauntedhilltop.com

BARKtober Fest and MEOWlloween Party

October 21 McKamey Animal Center 4500 N. Access Rd. (423) 305-6500 mckameyanimalcenter.org Scary-Oke Contest

October 28 Sing It or Wing It 410 Market St. (423) 757-WING singitorwingitchattanooga.com Big Chill Halloween Bash

October 28 The Big Chill 103 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 267-2455 thebigchillgrill.com Trick or Treat

Oct. 31 Hamilton Place Mall 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd.

(423) 894-7177 hamiltonplace.com Trick or Treat

Oct. 31 Nortgate Mall 271 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 875-4351 visitnorthgatemall.com THE PULSE • HALLOWEEN GUIDE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 17

18 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • HALLOWEEN GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Cleveland Happenings A look at what's going on in and around Bradley County

Cleveland Circuit Ride

October Flock Swap Saturday, 8 a.m.

Beaty Hardware 650 Wildwood Ave. SE Come buy, sell, trade or just show off your flock in the parking lot of Beaty's Hardware from 8 a.m. until 2 p.m. (store open until 5 p.m.).

Cleveland Circuit Ride Saturday, 9 a.m.

First United Methodist Church 3425 Ocoee St. This is a family friendly event with options for the more avid rider. Family ride takes place on the Greenway. Longer distances of 25, 50 and 100 KM rides leave from First United Methodist Church and travel south to Red Clay and into Georgia. Don't forget to join us for a free lunch after the ride.

Women Entrepreneurs Roundtable Saturday, Noon Cleveland Business Incubator

3505 Adkisson Dr. The purpose of this group is to develop relationships between women business owners in the area and to share ideas, problems and solutions with one another.

Chamber Membership Coffee Tuesday, 8:30 a.m.

Johnston Woods Retreat Center 298 Brymer Creek Rd. Come join other Chamber members as they enjoy coffee, breakfast and door prizes. Network with local business leaders at this monthly event.

The Chamber Coffee is open for all Chamber of Commerce members.

Secrets of a Web Ninja: Website Development and ECommerce Tuesday, 1 p.m.

Cleveland State Main Campus Technology Building, Room 115 The SBDC at Cleveland State is pleased to offer this seminar from our popular Web Ninja series. Do you

have questions about your business website? Do you even have a website? Are you interested in doing ecommerce and don't know where to start? Have no fear, web ninjas are here! Christina Hooper, certified Web Ninja and co-owner of Sparkitive, LLC, will take you through business website best practices and uncover the secrets of how to incorporate ecommerce into your site. Bring your most inquisitive self and have questions ready because Christina has the answers!

Taylor's Turkey Shoot Thursday, Noon 221 Old Kinser Rd. (across from the flea market) Fundraiser for Taylor's Ruritan Club to raise money to build a community center. 12-round shoots,12 gauge and 20 gauge, shoot from table, point system, yearly qualifier, no bench rail guns or props, computerized microscope used to judge questionable targets. It's all for a good cause!

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • THE PULSE • 19

MUSIC

Jam 4 Jam Fundraiser For Jamaal Woody Local music community comes together for one of their own

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

Free Pickin’ At Ross’s Landing This Weekend Bluegrass is one of those timeless American pastimes that needs no introduction. Located a little south of Appalachia and slightly north of Northern Georgia, Chattanooga is geographically situated in the precise location for optimum bluegrass efficiency. It’s in our blood, so to speak, woven deep within our history.

For the 11th consecutive year, The 3 Sisters Bluegrass Festival will be delivering a collection of talented pickers, fiddlers, and mandolin players to Ross’s Landing for free.

It’s no surprise the festival has been dubbed one of the top-five bluegrass festivals in the country, offering over twelve total hours of toe-tapping melodies in the heart of downtown.

Rain or shine, the festival includes big names like the Del McCoury Band, Bryan Sutton, and Sam Bush. It’s recommended to bring lawn chairs and blankets to get comfy as you absorb these performances, and beer and food will be available for sale to any interested patrons who don’t want to miss even a second.

Even if you don’t decide stop in and catch a few tunes, expect bluegrass pickin’ to ring throughout downtown for a few days. It will surely add a melodic backdrop to the monotonous hustle and bustle of the urban vista, and I’m expecting at least one rendition of “Dueling Banjos” to draw in curious listeners regardless of music preference.

— Kelley J. Bostian 3 Sisters Music Festival Friday, 6 p.m. & Saturday, Noon Ross’s Landing 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 265-0771 www.3sistersbluegrass.com 20 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

T

HIS MAY COME AS A shock to you non-musician types, but the general health and benefits package for musicians and artists is basically, “don’t get sick.” Unfortunately, we do and when that happens it can be the most ruinous and desperate imaginable.

Fortunately, as a community we tend to stick together and some nearly miraculous things can happen. Once upon a time I myself was the recipient of just such an outpouring of love and support after a nasty auto accident left me in the hospital for a few weeks and unable to work for quite a bit longer than that.

The kindness and generosity of the music community and the community at large was a thing that changed me as person and I have been grateful for that ever since so when a similar situation arises I do what I can to be first in line to support it and make sure other people know and by this point you know where this week’s column is going.

Jamaal Woody is a much loved figure in the local scene, running the kitchen over at Slick’s Burgers. He’s also a lifelong friend of

Jonathan Sussman of The Communicators and once upon a time was known to jump up on stage and rap with the group during live

MUSIC

“Although Jamaal survived the incident, the resulting hospital bills, follow up care, and inability to get back to work have left the man in a bad situation.” performances.

That’s why when Jonathan heard that Woody had suffered a recent issue due to congestive heart failure he knew he had to do something for his old friend and fellow performer. Although Jamaal survived the incident, the resulting hospital bills, follow up care, and inability to get back to work have left the man in a bad situation.

Jonathan rallied The Communicators along with fellow artists and friends of Jamaal Toneharm to put on a benefit concert and The Tap House in St. Elmo offered their stage.

The show is set for this Thursday at The Tap House (3800 St. Elmo Avenue, Suite 114) starting at 7 p.m. Organizers are asking for a $10 donation at the door with 100 percent of proceeds going to directly to Jamaal during this most difficult time.

While Toneharm is set to open the evening, Sussman describes it as a “loose concert, where the groups will

Getting Out And About

be jamming back and forth all night.”

Knowing the kind of show put on by both Toneharm and The Communicators, it is sure to be a highly entertaining evening and is absolutely for a worthy cause.

It’s worth noting that the hosting location, The Tap House, has swiftly become one of the area’s favorite destinations with thirty taps of the best beer the region has to offer. Moreover, the bar has taken a keen interest and involvement in supporting the local community.

For a tap room that’s barely been open six months, they have sponsored and/or hosted an inordinate number of community centered events and benefit shows, cementing their reputation as more than just another place to get a beer.

It’s a good cause, ladies and gentlemen, so Thursday night slip on down to St. Elmo and raise a pint (or three) for one of our own.

We’re gearing up for another busy weekend in the Scenic City.

Thursday night enjoy a benefit concert to support Jamaal Woody

by Toneharm and The Communicators at The Tap House in St. Elmo at 7 p.m. (see the music feature for more details) or slide on over to the Hip-Hop CHA DJ Battle Semifinal, Jam Session and Dance Party at Revelry Room at 8 p.m.

Also, the Bands on the Bluff finale Thursday evening will feature the talents of Laura Walker and the Traveling Tennesseans, Rick Rushing, and Caney Village for a night of “Blues, Bluegrass, Bourbon and Brews” from kicking off at 6 p.m..

On Friday at 8 p.m., Flyunder Entertainment presents Saliva, Kris Bell, and Head Trauma at The Warehouse Concert Lounge and Event Center in Clarksville, TN. Kelle Jolly and Will Boyd will be appearing with Robin Grant at Jazz at the Archway. The show starts at 7 p.m.

Also on Friday, Courtney Daly will be appearing at Full Moon Burger and Bar on the North-

Saliva

shore at 7 p.m., The Weeks with Junior Astronomers will be at Revelry Room at 8 p.m., and Milele Roots is appearing at J.J.’s Bohemia at 10 p.m.

On Saturday, Drew Robbins will be performing at Slick’s Burgers at 6 p.m., Songbirds Guitar Museum is presenting the John Lennon Birthday Celebration Concert at 7 p.m. featuring Ryan Oyer and the All Star Band, and the magnificent Dead Deads will appear at J.J.’s Bohemia at 9 p.m. with Sound and Shape and myrgold.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Whatever you do, just get out and support the local music and club scene. — MTM

THU10.5

FRI10.6

SAT10.7

DJ Battle SemiFinals: Hip-Hop CHA

Van Gordon Martin

Black Market Haggis

Come out for the latest round in the search for Chattanooga's best and brightest hip-hop artists.

9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co

Dedicated to pushing the boundaries of electric guitar, represented by a deep love for reggae, dub, and soul music.

10 p.m.

Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

This very talented five piece band combines Irish traditional and ancient Celtic music into a modern style.

8 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • THE PULSE • 21

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

The Weeks

THURSDAY10.5 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Caleb and the Gents 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. theatrecentre.com Rick Rushing 6 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Megan Saunders 6 p.m.

Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Bands On The Bluff: Laura Walker & the Traveling Tennesseans, Rick Rushing, Caney Village 6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. huntermuseum.org Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m.

Motley’s 320 Emberson Dr. Ringgold, GA (706) 260-8404 Bluegrass & Country Jam 6:30 p.m.

Grace Church of the Nazarene 6310 Dayton Blvd. chattanoogagrace.com All Cows Eat Grass, Seaux Chill

22 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

7 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. bessiesmithcc.org Singer Songwriter Series 7 p.m.

Fiamma Pizza Company 405 N. Market St. fiammapizzacompany.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com The Von Wamps 7 p.m.

Greenway Farms Dog Park 5051 Gann Store Rd. outdoorchattanooga.com Open Mic Night with Ryan Oyer 7 p.m.

Moccasin Bend Brewing Company

3210 Broad St. bendbrewingbeer.com Mike Bagetta Trio 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m.

Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m.

Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Krigarè, Lauren Light 8 p.m.

PULSE MUSIC SPOTLIGHT All Cows Eat Grass takes to the lawn in front of the Bessie Smith Culutral Center for a fun night of music, all part of the Levitt AMP Chattanooga Music Series.

All Cows Eat Grass 7 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. bessiesmithcc.org

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. chattanoogaconventioncenter.com Open Mic Night with Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com DJ Battle Semi-Finals: Hip-Hop CHA 9 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co

FRIDAY10.6 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Zech Dallas 7 p.m.

Cadence Coffee Co. 11 E. 7th St. cadencecoffeeco.com Robin Grant & The Standard 6 p.m.

Archway on Glass 2523 Glass St. archwayonglass.com 3 Sisters Music Festival 6 p.m.

Ross’s Landing 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

3sistersbluegrass.com Hank and Cupcakes 7 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St.

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Of Good Nature songbirdsguitars.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Clint Schmitt & David Walters 7:30 p.m.

Roland Hayes Concert Hall 752 Vine St. utc.edu Bill and Eli 8 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Matt Foster and Al Wade 8 p.m.

The Casual Pint 5550 Hwy. 153 hixson.thecasualpint.com Rick Rushing 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Live Music 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Ty, Chuck and Kelly 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Rasta Pop 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com The Weeks 9 p.m.

Revelry Room

41 Station St. revelryroom.com John Carroll 10 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Van Gordon Martin 10 p.m.

Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com P-B-R BAND 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY10.7 Bluegrass Brunch Noon The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com 3 Sisters Music Festival Noon Ross’s Landing 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

3sistersbluegrass.com 2nd Annual Harvest Concert 5 p.m.

The Georgia Winery 6469 Battlefield Pkwy.

Ringgold, GA georgiawines.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Jack “Flute” Holland 6 p.m.

Mayo’s Bar and Grille 3820 Brainerd Rd. mayosbarandgrill.com Backwater Still 6 p.m.

Walnut Street Bridge 1 Walnut St. wineoverwater.org Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com John Lennon Birthday Celebration with Ryan Oyer and an Allstar Band 7 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Music City Hit Makers 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Shelby Winstead 8 p.m.

The Casual Pint 5550 Hwy. 153 hixson.thecasualpint.com Black Market Haggis 8 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Dakota Williams 8:30 p.m.

Fireside Grille 3018 Cummings Hwy. firesidechattanooga.com Rick Rushing 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St.

chattanooganhotel.com Courtney Daly Band 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Aqua Seafoam Shame 9 p.m.

Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Dead Dead, Sound and Shape, Mrygld 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Of Good Nature 10 p.m.

Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Live Music 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com P-B-R BAND 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY10.8 The Mailboxes 11 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Sabrina Murdaugh 12:30 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • THE PULSE • 23

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Xaemora 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Dexter Bell Trio 1:30 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Eric Rhodes 2 p.m.

Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Bluegrass Jam 4 p.m.

Fiddler’s Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Rachmaninoff's AllNight Vigil 7 p.m.

Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul 214 E. 8th St. stspeterandpaulbasilica.com Maria and Josh Sable 7 p.m.

Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com Mathis & Martin 7 p.m.

The BackStage Bar 29 Station St. (423) 629-2233 Straight No Chaser 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com

24 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Southern Wind Symphony 7:30 p.m.

Collegedale Church of Seventh-day Adventists 4829 College Dr. collegedalechurch.com Xaemora, Flummox, Sparrus, Engulfed in Blackness 8 p.m.

Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net

MONDAY10.9 Open Mic Night 6 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Very Open Mic with Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com

TUESDAY10.10 Danimal 6 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com The Writer’s Night 7 p.m.

Heritage House Arts & Civic Center 1428 Jenkins Rd. chattanooga.gov Courtney Holder 7 p.m.

Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com Open Mic Jam Session 7 p.m.

Crust Pizza 3211 Broad St. crustpizza.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

WEDNESDAY10.11 Jesse James Jungkurth 6 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com The Other Guys 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com

Old Time Fiddle & Banjo Show 6:30 p.m.

Fiddler’s Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Amber Carrington 7 p.m.

Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com Songwriter’s Stage: Round Three 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Joel Brothers 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m.

Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Jazz In The Lounge 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ERNIE PAIK

Music From Kikagaku Moyo, Fitness Forever

Kikagaku Moyo Stone Garden (Guruguru Brain)

Fitness Forever Tonight (Elefant)

T

There’s a basic, primal feeling to several of these tracks, and on Stone Garden, the overall vibe is more important than structural complexity.

The stirring, opening track “Backlash” is an aggressive number, harshly recorded in the red with severely fuzzedout guitar tones, perhaps like the aural equivalent of a space shuttle re-entering the earth’s atmosphere.

Minimal patterns on guitar and drums are pounded into the ground with sparks flying off in all directions, almost completely obscuring a faint

he Tokyo-based quintet Kikagaku Moyo draws heavily from psychedelic rock but also channels elements from German Krautrock, hippie jams and Indian music, intending to evoke the supernatural with freely flowing songs that emerge from basic structures.

The songs on the 5-song EP Stone Garden were born from sessions in Prague that were later chiseled into recreatable pieces back home in Tokyo, with improvisation being both a tool for composition and a way to keep things alive and spontaneous.

organ in the background.

For the next song, “Nobakitani,” Kakagaku Moyo goes for a completely different sensibility, wandering peacefully with acoustic guitars and Indian flavors from a sitar.

“Trilobites” offers hazy guitar wankery, while “In a Coil” perhaps resembles Can’s “Mother Sky” if it was a little faster and cheery rather than menacing; it’s a driving track with a minimal Holger Czukay-esque bass line and spirited melodic vocal murmuring and harmonizing.

The EP ends with “Floating Leaf,” serving up watery, cascading echoes and a groove that unfortunately ends too soon—at four minutes long, it could have easily been twice as long, continuing with its exploratory feel and sustained energy.

Those who seek prog-rock complexity may be underwhelmed here, but for fans of psychedelic rock (think Acid Mothers Temple) who connect on a more nebulous level, Kikagaku Moyo is worth checking out.

R

evivalism is not going to go away, and this writer wholeheartedly advocates listeners seeking out and understanding the sources of such tributes, plagiarism or appropriation (or whatever you want to call it).

That said, this critic thinks there’s a good rule to follow: if you’re going to do it, really go for it.

Be dedicated enough to the point where the music provides an overwhelming escapist pleasure, forcing the listener to forget the present and to step into another era and world.

Only a small fraction of such releases hit this high water mark—Fancey’s remarkable ‘70s-obsessed Love Mirage comes to mind—and now there’s the third album, Tonight, from the Italian group Fitness Forever to add to the list.

Averaging one album every four years, Fitness Forever takes its sweet time, and earlier releases concentrate on bouncy, nostalgic pop with a few diversions into disco territory, like “Se Come Te” from 2009’s Personal Train and the title track of 2013’s Cosmos.

However, on Tonight, Fitness Forever is all-in with Italian disco revivalism with spotless string and brass arrangements and high production values that one might not expect on an indie release.

Joining band leader Carlos Valderrama and cohorts are several guest artists, including Vincent Mougel (from Kidsaredead), Paulita Demaíz (from the Spanish pop duo Papa Topo) and French singer Anna Jean from the group Juniore.

The opening salvo of “Tonight” and “Dance Boys” kicks down the door and creates an instant party, followed by “Canadian Ranger” that seemingly condenses about half of Abba Gold into a five-minute song.

Unabashed saxophone solos (like on “Cosa Mi Hat Detto”) and keyboards that hint at Italo-disco coexist with flawless string and brass runs.

Tonight may appeal to fans of Daft Punk’s Random Access Memories, and it makes the listener forget the question, “Why does this even need to exist?”

It exists for you to enjoy, right now.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • THE PULSE • 25

FILM & TELEVISION

A Celebration Of Queer Cinema “Shindig” comes to The Palace Picture House

Bellini Comes To The Big Screen Lovers of opera in Chattanooga are quite thankful that Father Entertainment along with AMC Theaters have made a commitment to bring one of the best live cinematic opera series to town, The Met: Live in HD. This Saturday, you can kick back in comfort and enjoy Bellini’s masterpiece Norma. The New York Metropolitan Opera’s production stars Sondra Radvanovsky as the Druid priestess and Joyce DiDonato as her rival, Adalgisa—a casting coup for bel canto fans.

Tenor Joseph Calleja is Pollione, Norma’s unfaithful lover, and Carlo Rizzi conducts. Sir David McVicar’s evocative production sets the action deep in a Druid forest where nature and ancient ritual rule.

This opera is an extraordinary fusion of sublime melody, vocal challenge, and dramatic power. It examines an ageless and archetypal situation: a powerful woman compromises her ideals for love, only to find herself betrayed by her lover.

But equally gripping is her relationship with the younger woman who is the new object of her former lover’s attention and in whom Norma sees both a rival and a second self.

The title role demands dramatic vocal power combined with the agility and technique of a coloratura singer. It is a daunting challenge that few can rise to: those who have are part of operatic lore. — Michael Thomas The Met: Live in HD presents Norma Saturday, 12:55 p.m.

East Ridge 18 Hamilton Place 8 5080 South Terrace 2000 Hamilton Pl. Blvd.

(423) 855-9652 (844) 462-7342 www.fathomevents.com 26 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Princess Cyd

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

T

HERE’S NOTHING MORE ENCOURAGing right now than the Chattanooga Film Scene. Maybe it’s just whistling in the dark, what with a mad Tweeter in charge of our armed forces and neo-Nazis marching across the country, but the advent of a new and exciting film festival in the Scenic City is something to celebrated.

That it’s an LGBTQ film festival is just icing on the cake. It sends a certain message to the world— Chattanooga, a city in the heart of Trump country, has people ready and willing to celebrate our differences in the face of those trying to divide us.

From Friday through Sunday, The Palace Picture House will host “Shindig: A Southern Celebration of Queer Cinema”. Presented by The Chattanooga Film Festival and Tennessee Valley Pride, the festival will showcase queer cinema with narrative

features, shorts, and documentaries from across the country and around the world.

“We are thrilled to be bringing an LGBTQ film festival to Chattanooga,” says festival director and curator Billy Ray Brewton. “It’s not something a lot of people expect when they think of Chattanooga and we want to change minds one film at a time.

It’s also an amazing opportunity to partner with Tennessee Valley Pride, who are committed to raising awareness, educating and strengthening the community and improving the human condition.”

The festival will feature nine films over the course of three days. Here are just some of the films:

Princess Cyd Written and directed by Stephen Cone Eager to escape life with her depressive single father, 16-year-old athlete Cyd Loughlin visits her novelist aunt in Chicago over the summer. While there, she falls for a girl in the neighborhood, even

FILM & TELEVISION

✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴

as she and her aunt gently challenge each other in the realms of sex and spirit. Cone is best known for his features The Wise Kids and Henry Gamble’s Birthday Party, both currently available to stream on Netflix.

Alaska Is A Drag Written and directed by Shaz Bennett Tough, but diva fabulous, Leo, an aspiring drag superstar, is stuck working in a fish cannery in Alaska. He and his twin sister are trapped in the monotony of fist fights and fish guts. Out of necessity, Leo learned to fight back, which catches the attention of the local boxing coach. When a new boy moves to town and wants to be his sparring partner, Leo has to face the real reason he’s stuck in Alaska. Based on the hit short film and co-starring Matt Dallas (Kyle XY) and Margaret Cho. Shaz Bennett will be in attendance for a Q&A following the film Thelma Co-written and directed by Joachim Trier In Trier’s follow-up to the critically acclaimed Louder Than Bombs, shy college student Thelma moves away from her religious family to attend college in Oslo. After experiencing a violent seizure, she becomes powerfully attracted to Anja, another woman

on campus. As her passion becomes all-consuming and her behavior increasingly reckless, her seizures—a manifestation of some inexplicable paranormal abilities—intensify. Soon, Thelma must confront the terrifying implications.

A Closer Walk With Thee Directed by John Clark & Brie Williams Like The Exorcist as directed by Gregg Araki, this queer erotic horror-comedy follows Jordan, a young Christian missionary who gets caught watching his handsome pastor Eli in the shower. The house church ostracizes him until Eli (who happens to be a fledgling exorcist) suggests it may be demonic possession that’s giving Jordan his ungodly urges. What starts as an exorcism to save their friendship quickly descends into psychosexual madness. John Clark will be in attendance for a Q&A following the film Quest Directed by Jonathan Olshefski Filmed with vérité intimacy for almost a decade, Quest is the moving portrait of an American family living in North Philadelphia. Beginning at the dawn of the Obama presidency, parents Christopher “Quest” Rainey,

Blade Runner 2049 A young blade runner's discovery of a long-buried secret leads him to track down former blade runner Rick Deckard, who's been missing for thirty years.

Director: Denis Villeneuve Stars: Harrison Ford, Ryan Gosling, Ana de Armas, Dave Bautista

and his wife, Christine’a “Ma Quest” Rainey raise a family while navigating the poverty and strife that grips their neighborhood. They nurture a community of artists in their basement home music studio, but even this creative sanctuary can’t always keep them safe. Epic in scope, Quest is a vivid illumination of race and class in America, and a testament to love, commitment, healing and hope.

Alabama Bound Directed by Lara Embry & Carolyn Sherer Alabama Bound explores the legal roller-coaster ride of LGBTQ family rights in the South over the last decade. The film offers an intimate view into the lives of three lesbian families in Alabama as they set precedents and fight the courts for their children during the time that federal marriage equality comes to a head. This is the story of a powerful community living with both frustration and hope in a conservative state, where the line between church and state is often blurred.

Wristbands can be purchased for $35 and individual tickets for $10.

For more information, visit shindigfilm.com. Support local film.

My Little Pony: The Movie A dark force threatens Ponyville, and the Mane 6 embark on an unforgettable journey beyond Equestria where they meet new friends and exciting challenges on a quest to use the magic of friendship.

Director: Jayson Thiessen Stars: Emily Blunt, Kristin Chenoweth, Liev Schreiber CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • THE PULSE • 27

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

The List

favors that have been owed to you, to finally do fun things you’ve been saving for the right occasion.

Astrology And America ROB BREZSNY

We happen to be big fans of astrologer Rob Brezsny, who has been gracing the pages of The Pulse for many years now.

Rob is an incredibly talented and creative writer and one of our most popular contributors, even with people who don’t believe in astrology.

That said, we decided to touch base with our friends at the Statistic Brain Research Institute to get some facts and figure about astrology.

• Percent of astrology readers that are women: 75% • Percent of Americans that believe in astrology: 33% • Total number of professional astrologers in the U.S: 7,000 • Most common astrological sign: Scorpio (9.6%) • Least common astrological sign: Aquarius (6.3%) • Number of zodiac signs in the original zodiac calendar: 18 • Number of websites that come when searching “astrology” on Google: 33,300,000.

So whether you believe or not, it's still one of the best ice breakers around: “What's your sign?”

Source: statisticbrain.com/zodiac-signstatistics/

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You’re a good candidate for the following roles: 1. a skeptical optimist who is both discerning and open-minded; 2. a robust truth-teller who specializes in interesting truths; 3. a charming extremist who’s capable of solving stubborn riddles; 4. a smooth operator who keeps everyone calm even as you initiate big changes; 5. an enlightened game-player who reforms or avoids games that abuse beauty’s power.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Actress and author Carrie Fisher wrote three autobiographies. Speed skating Olympics star Apolo Anton Ohno published his autobiography at age 20. The rascal occultist Aleister Crowley produced an “autohagiography.” To understand that odd term, keep in mind that “hagiography” is an account of the life of a saint, so adding “auto” means it’s the biography of a saint penned by the saint himself. I’m bringing up these fun facts in hope of encouraging you to ruminate at length on your life story. If you don’t have time to write a whole book, please take a few hours to remember in detail the gloriously twisty path you have trod from birth until now. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the best way to heal what needs to be healed is to steep yourself in a detailed meditation on the history of your mysterious destiny.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you go to the Historical Museum of the Palatinate in Germany, you will see a jug of wine that was bottled in 1687. In accordance with astrological omens, Sagittarius, I suggest that you find a metaphorical version of this vintage beverage—and then metaphorically drink it! In my opinion, it’s time for you to partake of a pleasure that has been patiently waiting for you to enjoy it. The moment is ripe for you to try an experience you’ve postponed, to call in

28 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If a late-night TV talk show called and asked me to be a guest, I’d say no.

If People magazine wanted to do a story on me, I’d decline. What good is fame like that? It might briefly puff up my ego, but it wouldn’t enhance my ability to create useful oracles for you. The notoriety that would come my way might even distract me from doing what I love to do. So I prefer to remain an anonymous celebrity, as I am now, addressing your deep self with my deep self. My messages are more valuable to you if I remain an enigmatic ally instead of just another cartoony media personality.

By the way, I suspect you’ll soon face a comparable question. Your choice will be between what’s flashy and what’s authentic; between feeding your ego and feeding your soul.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A Canadian guy named Harold Hackett likes to put messages in bottles that he throws out into the Atlantic Ocean from his home on Prince Edward island. Since he started in 1996, he has dispatched over 5,000 missives into the unknown, asking the strangers who might find them to write back to him. To his delight, he has received more than 3,000 responses from as far away as Russia, Scotland, and West Africa. I suspect that if you launch a comparable mission sometime soon, Aquarius, your success rate wouldn’t be quite that high, but still good. What longrange inquiries or invitations might you send out in the direction of the frontier?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Intensify” is one of your words of power these days. So are “fortify,” “reinforce,” and “buttress.” Anything you do to intensify your devotion and focus will be rewarded by an intensification of life’s gifts to you. As you take steps to fortify your sense of security and stability, you will activate dormant reserves of resilience.

If you reinforce your connections with reliable allies, you will set in motion forces that will ultimately bring you help you didn’t even know you needed. If you buttress the bridge that links your past and future, you will ensure that your old way of making magic will energize your new way.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You wouldn’t expect a five-year-old child

Homework: Want to enjoy my books, music, and videos without spending any money? http://bit.ly/LiberatedGifts to paint a facsimile of Picasso’s Guernica or sing Puccini’s opera, La Boheme. Similarly, you shouldn’t fault your companions and you for not being perfect masters of the art of intimate relationships. In fact, most of us are amateurs. We may have taken countless classes in math, science, literature, and history, but have never had a single lesson from teachers whose area of expertise is the hard work required to create a healthy partnership. I mention this, Aries, because the next seven weeks will be an excellent time for you to remedy this deficiency. Homework assignments: What can you do to build your emotional intelligence?

How can you learn more about the art of creating vigorous togetherness?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In accordance with the astrological omens, I invite you to slow down and create a wealth of spacious serenity. Use an unhurried, step-by-step approach to soothe yourself. With a glint in your eye and a lilt in your voice, say sweet things to yourself. In a spirit of play and amusement, pet and pamper yourself as you would a beloved animal. Can you handle that much self-love, Taurus? I think you can. It’s high time for you to be a genius of relaxation, attending tenderly to all the little details that make you feel at ease and in love with the world.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “If an angel were to tell us something of his philosophies, I do believe some of his propositions would sound like 2 x 2 = 13.” So said the German scientist Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1799). Now maybe you don’t believe in the existence of angels, and so you imagine his idea doesn’t apply to you. But I’m here to tell you that an influence equivalent to an angel will soon appear in your vicinity. Maybe it’ll be a numinous figure in your dreams, or a charismatic person you admire, or a vivid memory resurrected in an unexpected form, or a bright fantasy springing to life.

And that “angel” will present a proposition that sounds like 2 x 2 = 13.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Un-

less you have an off-road vehicle, you can’t drive directly from North America to South America. The PanAmerican Highway stretches from Prudhoe Bay in northern Alaska to Ushuaia, Argentina—a distance of about 19,000 miles—except for a 100-mile patch of swampy rainforest in Panama. I’d like to call your attention to a comparable break in continuity that affects your own inner terrain, Cancerian—a grey area where two important areas of your life remain unlinked. The coming weeks will be a favorable time to close the gap LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Based in Korea, Samsung is a world leader in selling smartphones and other information technology. But it didn’t start out that way. In its original form, back in 1938, it primarily sold noodles and dried fish. By 1954, it had expanded into wool manufacturing. More than three decades after its launch as a company, it further diversified, adding electronics to its repertoire. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the next ten months should be an excellent time for you to do the equivalent of branching out from noodles and dried fish to electronics. And the coming six weeks will be quite favorable for formulating your plans and planting your seeds.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In my opinion, you’re not quite ready to launch full-tilt into the rebuilding phase. You still have a bit more work to do on tearing down the old stuff that’s in the way of where the new stuff will go. So I recommend that you put an “Under Construction” sign outside your door, preferably with flashing yellow lights. This should provide you with protection from those who don’t understand the complexity of the process you’re engaged in.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work.

It’s all in the stars.

JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES

“Mighty Mo”—gaining momentum.

ACROSS 1 Feudal underlings 6 “Master of None” star Ansari 10 Give off 14 Ancient Greek public square 15 Meet head-on 16 Pre-stereo sound, for short 17 Little googly attachments stuck to a spiky hairdo?

19 McGregor of “Miles Ahead” 20 Resign 21 Laborious 23 Little doggo 24 Names in the news?

25 Gets there 28 A in French class?

30 Appt. on a business calendar 31 “Now I’m onto you!”

32 Like universal blood recipients 35 Beehive State college team 38 Marshy ground 40 “I Hated, Hated,

Hated This Movie” author 41 Forage holder 42 Feature of some gyms 43 Game show contestant’s stand 45 Running pro?

46 T-shirt size range, initially 48 Jocularity 49 “___ big deal” 51 Greek islanders 54 “Between My Head and the Sky” singer 55 Cocktail named for a Scottish hero 56 Container for cash and carry 61 Natural skin cream ingredient 62 Formal dance full of angora fleece wearers?

64 “___ put our heads together ...”

65 Story element 66 Inventor of the first electric battery 67 Some deodorants 68 Pianist Dame Myra 69 Fundamental principle

DOWN 1 ___ Club (WalMart offshoot) 2 Showbiz award “grand slam” 3 Architect Ludwig Mies van der ___ 4 Slushy coffee shop offering 5 Carpenter’s sweepings 6 Not that many 7 Malik formerly of One Direction 8 Cooler filler 9 Piquant 10 Retired professor’s status 11 Stay on the lawn and don’t hit sprinklers, e.g.?

12 Seriously silly 13 Barbecue utensils 18 “Keystone” character 22 Lucasfilm’s special effects co.

24 Grin and ___ 25 Free ticket, for short 26 Canton’s state 27 Emo place to roll some strikes?

28 Violin strokes

marked with a “v” 29 “___ say more?”

33 “Reckon so” 34 A/C measurement 36 Tesla founder Musk 37 On one’s own 39 Some big shade sources 44 Professor McGonagall, in the Potterverse 47 Southeast Asian language that becomes a country if you add an S 50 Playroom container 51 Bond portrayer, still 52 John who married Pocahontas 53 Nature spirit of Greek myth 54 Suffix for pepper 56 Electrical units now called siemens 57 Some muffin ingredients 58 Indonesian island 59 Choir range 60 Bowie’s rock genre 63 Soccer stadium shout

Copyright © 2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 852 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • THE PULSE • 29

COLUMN ∙ ON THE BEAT

I Am Not Batman Officer Alex explains who he is (and isn't) to an inquisitive child

Alex Teach

Pulse contributor

“A

RE YOU BATMAN?” A CHILD asked me while sitting for a moment in Coolidge Park.

“No,” I said with a good natured smile.

“I’m not Batman. Why do you ask?”

“Because Batman wears black, and has a utility belt, and doesn’t have superpowers.

I think you’re Batman,” the boy of around age six said flatly. My smile faded. No superpowers? What the hell?

“Well I don’t wear a mask, but I do have superpowers, thank you very much.” Now his smile faded as well.

“Everyone knows who Batman really is. You don’t need a mask,” he said with surprising confidence. Then, squinting his eyes, he asked, “What is your super power then?”

“Cynicism,” I said flatly. He tilted his head now, to accompany the squint. “What’s that?” he asked.

My smile returned. “It’s the ability to always know the truth. It makes my guesses better than anybody else’s and keeps me from ever being wrong, or emotionally scarred.”

“Emotions can get scarred?” he asked, doubt giving way to concern.

“Oh, yes! Most of my emotions are scarred actually, so I use cynicism as a blanket around them to protect what’s left.

That’s what my therapist says anyway, but she’s a nice lady so I believe her.”

“Is a thare-ah…a therapiss like a doctor?” he asked, still standing in front of me

with what I hoped was his (smoking) hot mother in the distance behind him.

“Oh, yes!” I said enthusiastically. “They make policemen talk to them sometimes, so that they can be allowed to come back to work after crazy things happen. They’re doctors for your mind.” I paused, considering my own spontaneous utterance. “They like to ask questions. Say, you like to ask questions, too! Maybe you could be a therapist when you grow up?”

Again, the young man fired back without hesitation. “Oh no, I’m going to be an arch-detector like my mom’s boyfriend. He draws pictures of buildings and they give him money for it. When you say crazy things, do you mean like when you fight the Joker?”

“I’m not Batman,” I said now with a hint of annoyance, “…but yes. Some bad guys are like the Joker and they do super ultra mega bad things and they make policemen take time off of work so they don’t go cray-cray. You can’t have cray-cray policemen, or they make a movie out of you and you’re sad forever and you have to pick up trash on the side of the road and avoid eye contact with people!” I smiled. “I think being an architect is a really good idea though. You’ll be a good one.” I glanced around the park. “Is your mommy’s boyfriend here today?”

“No. He travels a lot. Do you keep your uniform with you in a bag or something so you can put it on if bad guys try to take over your

30 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

party or fundraiser?”

I maintained my smile, but closed one eye slightly. “Listen. I’m not Batman. I don’t have fundraisers. I don’t even have credit cards!

I work with cash as much as possible to maintain a light digital footprint, but not much of it. Is mommy happy when her boyfriend is gone?

Or sad?”

“She seems happy, I dunno, but sometimes I hear her cry at night.”

He paused and looked at the radio on my right hip. “Is that how you talk to Commissioner Gordon?”

Now I kept a hint of the smile but raised my eyebrows. “Listen.

I’m not Batman. There is no Batman except in comics. People aren’t ready for that, plus the only people with mansions like his are politicians and they don’t have the stomach for dealing with criminals unless they’re giving them money.”

The young man actually nodded

and said “That makes sense. It was nice to meet you, but I think we’re about to go.” His mother walked up after watching us interact for a bit.

“Hello,” she said with a shy look on her face, chest heaving with anxiety. She smelled of pomegranate lotion and boredom. “I think it’s so sweet for you to take the time to talk to my little Harrison like this.” She extended her hand, palm facing slightly downward, a smile building on her face like the sun rising on a cloudless Caribbean morning. “What’s your name, Officer?”

“Why, I’m Batman of course,” I said, never missing a beat.

“Pleased to meet you.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 5, 2017 • THE PULSE • 31