The Pulse 15.42 » October 18, 2018

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OCTOBER 18, 2018

CLEANING YOUR MIND, BODY & SOUL

THE RESET MONTH—PART DISCIPLINE, PART DEVIANCE THEATER

TIME, MUSIC ...AND LOVE “THE LAST FIVE YEARS” SHINES AT THE CTC

MUSIC

SOUTHERN ROCK ROYALTY SCOTT SHARRARD BRINGS GUITAR GRACE

SCREEN

VERY HAUNTED HOUSES

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE GETS SCARY

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALERNATIVE


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INSIDE THIS ISSUE VOLUME 15, ISSUE 42 • OCTOBER 18, 2018

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher James Brewer, Sr. FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Brooke Brown City Editor Alex Curry Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Steven W. Disbrow Robyn Wolfe Fogle • Matt Jones Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Michael Thomas Addie Whitlow Editorial Interns Allan Duggar • Ethan Palmer Cartoonists Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin mike@brewermediagroup.com Account Executives Rick Leavell • Cindee McBride Libby Phillips • Ivan Roshell Danielle Swindell

CONTACT Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com Facebook @chattanoogapulse THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2018 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

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Cleansing Your Mind, Body & Soul I was shocked, to say the least, when my husband Rob announced he planned to stop drinking beer for a month. Sure, it sounded like a great idea, but my hedonistic husband is not exactly the type of person to deny himself anything he finds pleasurable, even for a short amount of time.

E-GAMING MEETS SPOOKY CRITTERS

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SOUTHERN ROCK ROYALTY

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October is a stellar time for special events of all kinds. Chattanooga gets a bit of reprieve from the extenuating heat of the summer.

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I am approaching my 26th year in Chattanooga and in that time there have been many fine music venues, but few have shown the kind of relentless commitment to raising the bar.

9 JUST A THEORY

TIME, MUSIC...AND LOVE

If you were to ask how to make a relationship between two people work, there’s guaranteed to be many different answers to that age-old question.

VERY HAUNTED HOUSES

Houses were meant to be haunted. A human life is too filled with misery to say otherwise. These places that we live are sponges for our memory—each corner, each cobweb.

20 MUSIC CALENDAR

23 JONESIN' CROSSWORD

12 ARTS CALENDAR

22 MUSIC REVIEWS

25 NEW IN THEATERS

14 HALLOWEEN GUIDE

23 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

26 ON THE BEAT

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CITY LIFE · BETWEEN THE BRIDGES

E-Gaming Meets Spooky Critters Two completely different events anchor mid-October in the city This weekend we will host the event. For more information, sign up for their newsletter at TenGIGFestival.com. For video game lovers, this event is sure to be one of the most sought-after tickets of the year.

By Alex Curry Pulse City Editor

The rise of the empire of e-sports over the past decade has surpassed expectations with blazing fury and juggernaut like ferocity.”

O

CTOBER IS A STELLAR TIME FOR SPECIAL EVENTS OF all kinds. Chattanooga gets a bit of reprieve from the extenuating heat of the summer and people begin to make their plans for leaf-changing road trips while they split and stack wood for backyard fire pits. Many exciting things happen in October. Today we’ll learn about two of the season’s upcoming special events. THE TENGIG FESTIVAL COMES TO CHATTANOOGA The rise of the empire of e-sports over the past decade has surpassed expectations with blazing fury and juggernaut like ferocity. Games such as League of Legends, World of Warcraft, and Overwatch have proven that a new era of entertainment and sportsmanship is on the horizon. The craze of these video gamers has turned young individuals into legends and champions. The competitions span the globe and are now presented on

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mega-conglomerates like ESPN. Rich entrepreneurs are flocking to team ownership; individuals like Marc Cuban, Stephen Curry, and Joe Lacob are buying up teams in hopes to be at the forefront of what is sure to be on the same level as the NFL and the NBA. I’m actually currently sitting in an airport flying back from South Korea after working on an e-sports competition for my other job. It’s time to get on board! In 2018, Chattanooga will get a piece of the e-sports action. This October, the TenGIG Festival will take place in the Scenic City, making Chattanooga the home (once again) of the biggest e-sports competition in the American Southeast.

BOO IN THE ZOO, THE CITY’S MOST SPOOKTACULAR EVENT OF THE HALLOWEEN SEASON Exciting things are at the forefront for the future of the Chattanooga Zoo, but October’s Boo in the Zoo is one of its most exciting and supernatural events of the year. The animal menagerie will celebrate the season with cartoon characters, costume contests, games, inflatables for the kids, pony rides, and tricks and treats galore. Tickets are just $10 for members and $15 for non-members. It’s free to children ages 2 and under. The event is geared towards fun for the whole family and is a comfortable alternative for those weary of the season’s creepier offerings. The party will span two weekends, offering plenty of options to make it out for the fun. Amusement and games kick off this Friday and continue through Sunday, and then again next weekend, each day from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. Plus, next Wednesday, the Zoo will host Dream Night which will focus on providing accessibility for the Chattanooga community members with special needs. For more information, visit chattzoo.org. Can’t get enough of the animals? Maybe it’s time to think about a zoo membership. What better way to both have a ton of fun and help support one of Chattanooga’s greatest destinations?


Mini Maker Extravaganza Annual Mini-Maker Faire moves to the library

Cons ider This w ith Dr. Rick

“Self-care means giving yourself permission to pause.” — Cecilia Tran

For several Christmas seasons in a row I’ve thought about alternatives to repetitive, easily guessed Christmas gifts. I’ve thought that instead of buying something for someone, how about creating a gift? If you’re like me, then your fires of creativity are probably smoldering, but this weekend could be a chance to stoke the flames. This Saturday at the downtown public library is the fourth annual Chattanooga Mini Maker Faire. Over 50 artists, tinkerers, inventors, and crafters of all sorts will display their work and share their

passion in every corner inside the library. Pottery, handmade clothing, edible chocolate flower making, soap making, arcade games, plaster molding, electric circuit building: the list goes on-and-on. This event is a science-faire and craft faire smorgasbord of creativity. And if you enjoy the creativity of folks in our city, then you will be blown away by the genius of these creators. You may decide that their works would be a great gift, which is a good thing as some of these artists will be vendors as well. On top of this, a dance perfor-

mance on zines and live music will provided by The Pop Up Project, a local performance favorite. Out in the plaza and nearby will be food trucks serving snacks, meals, and drinks. The event sparks up at 10 a.m. and simmers down at 4 p.m. The faire is free, but registration is strongly encouraged. All of this is brought to us by The Company Lab, a nonprofit organization for entrepreneurial work in southeast Tennessee. For more information and to register, go to chattanooga.makerfaire.com. — Allan Duggar

I often encourage folks to push the “pause” button in life…whether for a moment’s thought before answering, or for a big decision like school, work, etc. I invite you to consider pushing your own pause button as you read the following, and ponder not what you “should” do, but what you can do. Things You Do Not Need to Apologize For (Even Though You Think You “Should”): 1. Loving someone 2. Saying “No” 3. Following your dream 4. Taking “me” time 5. Your priorities 6. Ending a toxic relationship 7. Your imperfections 8. Standing your ground 9. Delaying your response 10. Telling the truth — Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

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COVER STORY

Cleansing Your Mind, Body & Soul The Reset Month—Part Discipline, Part Deviance

By Robyn Wolfe Fogle

Pulse contributor

We started getting excited about our reset month and thought perhaps we should challenge ourselves even more.”

I

WAS SHOCKED, TO SAY THE LEAST, WHEN MY HUSBAND Rob announced he planned to stop drinking beer for a month. Sure, it sounded like a great idea, but my hedonistic husband is not exactly the type of person to deny himself anything he finds pleasurable, even for a short amount of time. “Why?” I inquired, trying to keep my shocked reaction in check. Turns out he’d noticed his drinking was getting a bit excessive and felt he was in need of a reset. I thought it was a good resolve, but also knew it was too drastic and unobtainable to last, even for a month. But I was proud of him for wanting to try, and of course I wanted to be supportive. So, being the practical one, I suggested we do it together and also make our goal a

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bit more realistic. “Let’s not drink alcohol Monday through Thursday, and then limit ourselves to one drink per day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday,” I suggested instead. It seemed like a good place to start and he readily agreed. We started getting excited about our reset month and thought perhaps we should challenge ourselves even more. Turn the month into a cleanse of sorts to pursue greater health, wellbeing and

balance. We agreed that Rob’s alcohol consumption had gotten out of balance, but my dessert obsession was equally in need of a reset. Limiting sweets for a month felt like a necessary reset as well. Then there was our spending. A quick glance at our budget confirmed it, too, was getting a bit out of hand. It’s not like we were racking up debt, but we’d started to buy a lot of things we didn’t necessarily “need”, and the minimalist side of me felt burdened with a lack of balance in this area. I wasn’t quite sure how Rob would respond when I brought that one up. Money is always a touchy subject, and he and I both knew he was the one doing the majority of the discretionary spending (I promise it’s true!) so this was directed more at him. But he surprised me by saying he really liked the idea and was on board. So there it was. Three goals for a month of reset. • Alcohol: limit of one drink per day on weekends only. • Desserts: limit to one square of dark chocolate after dinner during the week. • Spending: buy only necessary items. We entered the month enthusiastically! On day one I was out of town for the evening and received a text from Rob: “I’m sitting here with my lemonade, sticking to my reset,” it read. Wow! Normally Rob would be home enjoying a beer in the evenings, but it was a Wednesday night which meant


no alcohol. I was proud of him; he was doing it! His discipline spurred my own resolve. But later that night another text came in: “I think I was an alcoholic—I feel like I’m having withdrawals,” he admitted. “Not having a beer tonight is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.” Well, we knew it wouldn’t be easy. I encouraged him as best I could. The reality of our resolve hit me the next night. After working a full day, I was used to coming home and pouring a glass of wine while I cooked dinner. Considering that I’m typically hungry before I start cooking, that glass of wine was what took the edge off and allowed me to relax and enjoy the process. It was a challenge not to pour that glass, and even Rob noticed I was edgy. But once we sat down to eat I was fine, the moment had passed. Until dessert time. “Even Whipper’s pig skin twist is bigger!” Rob exclaimed, his jealousy obvious as I offered the large treat to our dog while giving Rob only a small square of chocolate. We got a good laugh over it though, plus it helped that we were in this together, sharing the pain of deprivation. Besides, we couldn’t blow it on day two—I had an article to write after all. By day seven, Rob said he didn’t even miss the alcohol. But a week later he had changed his tune and was asking me, “Why are we doing this again?” It had been a particularly stressful day for him at work, and alcohol had become a coping mechanism for him. A way to relax and unwind. “I want a beer. I want a whiskey. I want a (bleeping) ice cream cone!” he said angrily. I understood. My cravings hadn’t gone away either. While I didn’t yearn for alcohol after long, stressful days like Rob did, my challenging moments came at other

In my mind, unless we had succeeded perfectly in every resolve, there was nothing to be proud of or write about.”

times. Like when I would sit down to relax in the evenings and now had only a glass of water for comfort in place of the big bowl of ice cream I was accustomed to. Yet this denial was allowing us to become more mindful of what triggered our cravings. Plus, we found that denying ourselves alcohol and sweets was helping us appreciate them more when we did indulge. Our second weekend in, we sat and savored good beers together before dinner. It turned into an experience. Something to truly be enjoyed togeth-

er. We talked about how good those beers were for at least 30 minutes, even though they were the same beers we always drank. Somehow they tasted better. And when we made a trip to Clumpie’s for ice cream on a Saturday night, it tasted twice as good as it used to since we weren’t gorging ourselves on heaping bowls of ice cream at home on a nightly basis anymore. We were halfway through the month and I was feeling good about our accomplishments. There had been no recent Amazon boxes showing up at

the door either. Plus, I had managed to purge my closet of some items I no longer wore, and I’d made time to have some photos and postcards framed which I’d been meaning to do since February. It felt good to be making space, to clean up the clutter and purge the unnecessary from our bodies and our home. We were both starting to feel like we had some control and balance in our lives again and it felt good. Satisfying in its own way. But then it happened...Rob caught me cheating. “What’s on your breath?” he asked suspiciously when I got home from my shift at Riverside Wine & Spirits. “Oh, we just sampled a few wines today,” I said casually, not thinking much of it. It was part of my job after all, and they were only small tastings, so it could hardly count as “having a drink”. Rob saw it very differently. He was genuinely upset. He declared that he deserved a weekday beer as his compensation for my indiscretion. I finally consented, if only to shut him up. But he wasn’t the only one betrayed. I too felt legitimately cheated on when he was out of town for work and called me on a Thursday night to say he’d had a glass of Merlot with his dinner. “It was a pairing!” he insisted, as though that made it okay! I was livid! Even more so because I had been out to dinner with friends that same evening and had abstained from having a drink even though everyone else was enjoying margaritas. I made him promise to sacrifice a drink on a weekend day to make up for it. To his credit, he actually did. We gave ourselves a planned cheat day on the 22nd, it being our 3rd anniversary and all. We enjoyed the decadence of Founders KBS beers and a homemade ice cream coffee pie. For-

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COVER STORY

Sometimes it’s just important to be conscious of your choices, evaluate why you’re making them, and simply resolve to be mindful.” get about celebrating our anniversary, we were more excited to celebrate a weeknight beer and splurge dessert! One more week of struggle and it was finally over. Being a stickler for the rules, I felt we had failed. I thrive on discipline, and to cheat even once made me feel unsuccessful. We hadn’t 100 percent stuck to any of our initial resolves. We’d caved in a few times and had a drink during the week. We’d made a Clumpie’s run (or two) on weeknights as well. And the spending? Rob needed pants and came back with shorts, a 8 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

t-shirt and shoes instead! I didn’t even want to write the article anymore. In my mind, unless we had succeeded perfectly in every resolve, there was nothing to be proud of or write about. We were far from the model so what was the point? Rob, the optimist, saw it differently. “I thought I did great. I killed it!” he enthused, his perspective completely opposite of mine. “You can say what you want, but I did great...in every way,” he insisted. I couldn’t believe he’d say that—I felt he’d done worse than me.

“Write the article,” he insisted. “It’s just about being honest, it’s about taking a stab at it.” He was right, despite the fact that we weren’t perfect, the reset month really did help launch us into some better, healthier habits, and we learned a lot in the process. We learned to appreciate and truly enjoy having an alcoholic drink again. Our freezer is no longer constantly stocked with ice cream. And we’re being more aware of where our money goes—even if we do still decide to buy the items we want. Sometimes it’s just important to be conscious of your choices, evaluate why you’re making them, and simply resolve to be mindful. If you’re thinking about doing something similar, do it! We wrote down a list of takeaways that you may find helpful: • Do it with somebody else: it keeps you accountable and you’ll both be strong at different times. • Be specific when setting goals: it’s too easy to give in and justify things otherwise. • Build in some cheats from the beginning: it’ll give you something to look forward to. • 30 days is a good amount of time: you’ll be ready for it to end! • When you do slip up, be kind to yourself: don’t beat yourself up, tomorrow is a new day. We’re going to do it again. Every year. As Rob reminded me, it’s about progression, not perfection. Robyn Wolfe Fogle writes for the love of it! She spends the rest of her time running a business with her husband, and trying to wear out her crazy Aussie, Whipper.


COLUMN · JUST A THEORY

Can Climate Change Be Fixed? How Geoengineering shows us the way to a cooler planet

I Steven W. Disbrow Pulse columnist

If comic books have taught me anything, it’s that to solve big problems, you’ve got to think big. Which brings us to the real-life mad science of Geoengineering.”

Steven W. Disbrow is the proprietor of “Improv Chattanooga” on the South Side of town. He also creates e-commerce systems and reads comic books when he’s not on stage acting like a fool.

F IT ISN’T CLEAR BY NOW, CLImate change is the biggest threat our species has ever faced. The recent report from the UN’s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, paints a grim picture of a future where our planet is too warm and the weather too violent, for civilizations to continue to exist as we now know it. If we continue to do nothing, or take half-measures that make us feel good (I drive an Electric Car!) without systemic change, we are, in a word, doomed. (Here I must once again note that it’s only the human species and our civilization that’s doomed. The planet will continue along on its merry way. Many other species will join us, like corals and, sadly, domesticated dogs, but the planet itself won’t notice we’ve gone. Most traces of our civilization [except our space probes], will be consumed by erosion, earthquakes, volcanos and asteroid strikes within 50,000 years or so.) So, what can we do? Well, the UN report has lots of suggestions, but most of those involve international cooperation, personal sacrifice, the immediate end of fossil fuels and, um, capitalism. (Well, okay. Not the end of capitalism, just a radical reworking where the good of the many outweighs the needs of the…oh. Sorry. Yeah, it means the end of capitalism.) Since that’s not going to happen, what else can we do? Well, if comic books have taught me anything, it’s that to solve big problems, you’ve got to think big. Which brings us to the real-life mad science of Geoengineering. Geoengineering is engineering on a global level. The goal of which is to mitigate the effects of climate change and to either halt, or even reverse, the rise in global temperatures. There are currently two main approaches to this under consideration. Plan 1: Suck It Up, Buttercup

Temperatures are rising because of the increase in “greenhouse” gasses that our civilization puts into the atmosphere. These gasses (methane and carbon dioxide are the worst) trap more heat from the sun, hold it close to the planet and contribute to the rise in overall temperatures. One proposed solution is to capture these gasses and sequester them somewhere other than the atmosphere. Now, the earth already has some systems for doing this: Trees, the oceans, and the earth itself. Sadly, we love to cut down trees to build things, and the oceans have reached their holding capacity for these gasses. As for the earth, while it’s buried its carbon goodies deep underground, our species has decided that we’re going to dig it all up, burn it, and throw it back into the atmosphere. That means we’ve got to come up with some other way to capture those gasses. Trees are the obvious choice, but at this point we simply can’t plant them fast enough. So, that means we have to build machines to do it. (Solar powered machines, hopefully.) Many designs exist, and some actually work, but none can currently scale up to the size needed to remove enough of these gasses before it’s too late. Plan 2: The Future’s So Hot, We Gotta Wear Shades If removing the gasses won’t work, what about removing the source of them, the humans! Wait. No. I meant the Sun. Yes. The Sun. While we can’t remove the Sun, we can hide from it, or reflect more of its life-giving, death-dealing rays back into

space. White roofs would help, a little. Bigger ice caps would be brilliant, but those are vanishing due to the very problem we’re trying to solve. So, some scientists are pondering a couple of really radical solutions like making clouds whiter and more reflective. Yep, you can do this by seeding clouds with chemicals which I’m sure would have no side-effects or unintended consequences. Also, clouds tend to vanish, so this would be a never-ending process. There are several ideas on the table similar to this, but they all pale in comparison to the really big idea that’s literally “out there”… Plan 3: A sun shade in space! Yes. We may end up having to put a massive, remotely controlled umbrella in space to manipulate the amount of sunlight reaching our planet. It would work, but it would be a massive undertaking, requiring mining materials from the moon and sustained international cooperation unlike anything seen before, similar to the cooperation needed to act on the options outlined in UN report. Also, you just know the Penguin is going to take control of it and hold us all hostage. So, like I said, we’re doomed.

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Time, Music...And Love “The Last Five Years” shines at the CTC

Pumpkin Painting Seasonal Fun Fall is the time of year where everyone gets back into the spirit of picking pumpkins. Just like turkeys in November, the majestic pumpkin steals the show for the month of October. At one point in your life you have probably carved a pumpkin. But this always comes with a lot of hassle and messiness. I always struggle carving them out to look exactly how I envisioned it in the first place. In my own opinion, painting pumpkins is the right way to go. And now Chattanooga Workspace is offering a class to help you do just that. Whether it be a spooky skeleton or a cute black cat, the Pumpkin Painting Party is available to anyone who wants to learn the art of pumpkin painting. All of the pumpkins that will be used in the class are provided for free along with complimentary snacks. “Boo”-ze is also allowed at the event however those who attend are required to bring their own. The Pumpkin Painting Party will be Friday starting at 6 p.m. and ticket are only fifteen dollars. To learn more about this fall festivity visit thechattery.com and make sure that you register online before attending. Create your very own pumpkin masterpiece! — Ethan Palmer

By Addie Whitlow Pulse contributor

Relationships are one of the trickiest aspects of human life. Sure, things can be great, but they can also head south in less than ideal ways.”

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I

F YOU WERE TO ASK HOW TO MAKE A RELATIONSHIP between two people work, there’s guaranteed to be many different answers to that age-old question.

Relationships are one of the trickiest aspects of human life. Sure, things can be great, but they can also head south in less than ideal ways. The Chattanooga Theatre Centre is taking time to explore one momentous relationship in their production of “The Last Five Years,” opening tomorrow night in the Circle Theatre. “The Last Five Years,” written by Jason Robert Brown, is a musical about the five-year relationship between Jamie, an author, and Cathy, an actress. The show tells the story of their relationship, but it’s told in two different time frames. Cathy’s retelling of their relationship begins at the end and works its

way backward, while Jamie starts his story of the relationship at their first meeting. Their stories only intersect at one pivotal moment. The Chattanooga Theatre Centre’s production of “The Last Five Years” is directed by Garry Lee Posey, who is also the executive director of the Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga. He explained that the production normally only has a cast of two, the actor and actress who portray Jamie and Cathy. However, in order to make the show a bit more engaging for the audience, Posey said they’ve added two unique elements to the show, which may also be a first for the production.


“We’ve put the musicians on stage in part of the action, and we also added movement with dancers. Normally, you just see the two singers, and they alternate songs because it’s solo after solo, and the band is hidden in the back somewhere,” Posey explained. “And one of the things Todd [Olson] wanted to think about was making the band sort of central. It’s interesting, as a concept, to do that; you know, making the band more apparent in shows these days. But it has to be a small cast, because if it’s a big musical, it would never work.” The goal with adding dancing counterparts to the lead actor and actress, and keeping the six musicians on stage in order to see and hear the music, is for the show itself to be less static, which is something that can happen with a show that has such a small cast. The show’s dancing numbers are choreographed by the Pop-up Project, making them more modern and metaphoric in order to tell the unsaid parts of the story. Posey explained he’d actually been approached to direct the show two or three times, but he would normally shy away because of the issue of having such a small cast. “When Todd suggested having the musicians on stage, I thought, ‘Oh, that’s a good idea.’ It changed it up. It made it a little different, and I can really use the musicians as part of telling the story, the same way each of the characters has an arc from beginning to end or end to beginning, depend-

The show’s dancing numbers are choreographed by the Pop-up Project, making them more modern and metaphoric in order to tell the unsaid parts of the story.”

ing on which way it is,” Posey said. The lead roles of Cathy and Jamie in the CTC’s production are played by Jordan Otis, who starred as Belle in “Beauty and the Beast” last season, and John Thomas Cecil, who is making his Theatre Centre debut as Jamie. The cast started rehearsals at the end of August, and Posey said they’ve had a really productive five-week rehearsal schedule. However, Posey said he sort of surprised the cast members at first when he announced they would be adding a couple of new elements to the show. “There were some concerns from the beginning, and I think those were valid concerns, but all I can say is that now we know what the concerns are, we can work to minimize those. But we won’t know until we try it. And I think that, with great risk comes great reward, like this,” explained Posey. “So being able to work with Tim, the music director, to achieve elements within the music that are more character and plot-driven and contribute to the story more than just being orches-

trations [has been great]. That, and the choreographers, and getting their input, and the actors; the collaboration has really been nice.” In addition, the show’s set is also very interesting. Because the show focuses on the passage of time between two people, Posey explained they’ve added a time theme throughout the show, with clocks and other elements of time. There’s also a circular podium with spiral steps around it to represent the circle of life and how, although you may fall, it’s important to always get back up. The CTC’s production of “The Last Five Years” opens Friday night at 8 p.m. and will be performed through Oct. 28, with Thursday-Saturday evening shows and Sunday matinee shows. The production is rated R for adult situations. If you’ve ever wanted a chance to experience the emotion of a relationship on stage, with all its good and bad parts, then you definitely don’t want to miss “The Last Five Years” at the Theatre Centre.

THU10.18

FRI10.19

SAT10.20

Chattanooga Dances

The Roast of Kevin Bartolomucci

“Devil’s Walk”

Highlighting the city’s nonprofit dance organizations along with those schools that maintain a full dance curriculum. 7 p.m. Center for Creative Arts 1301 Dallas Rd. cca.hcde.org

Longtime friend of The Pulse and super-creative funnyman faces the comedic music from his "friends". 8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. improvchattanooga.com

A terrifying stage play inspired by the lore and super-creepy world of Nathaniel Hawthorne. 7:30 p.m. Back Alley @ The Mars Theater 117 N. Chattanooga St. BAPshows.com

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR THURSDAY10.18 Gallery Discussion and Performance with Holly Mulcahy 6 p.m. The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org 18th Annual Chattanooga Dances 7 p.m. Center for Creative Arts 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 498-7365 cca.hcde.org PSC Open House with Mark Alberhasky 7 p.m. St. John’s United Methodist Church 3921 Murray Hills Dr. (423) 344-5643 chattanoogaphoto.org Chattanooga Hockey Presents: “A” League Hockey 7 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 488- 6846 chattanoogahockey.com Big Ed Caylor 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Alcoholics Not Anonymous Comedy Open Mic 8 p.m. Barley Taproom 235 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 682-8200 chattanoogabarley.com Country Line Dancing Class 8 p.m. Westbound Bar 24 Station St. (423) 498-3069 westboundbar.com

FRIDAY10.19 Food Truck Friday’s: Soundcorps Sidewalk Stages 11:30 a.m. Miller Park 928 Market St.

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Chattanooga Hockey

millerparkplaza.com Out On 8th 5 p.m. West Village 802 Pine St.
 (423) 424-1831 westvillagechattanooga.com Pumpkin Painting Party 6 p.m. Chattanooga Workspace 302 W 6th St. (423) 413-8978 thechattery.org “Devil’s Walk” 7:30 p.m. Back Alley @ The Mars Theater 117 N. Chattanooga St. (706) 621-2870 BAPshows.com Big Ed Caylor 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com The Roast of Kevin Bartolomucci 8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com “The Last Five Years” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Ruby Falls Lantern Tours 8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls

1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com Hot Ones! The Improv Show! 10 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com

SATURDAY10.20 Chattanooga Mini-Maker Faire 9 a.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7738 chattanooga.makerfaire.com Battlefield Bicycle Tour 9:30 a.m. Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Park Lafayette Rd. (706) 866-9241 nps.gov/chch Farm Days 10 a.m. Old McDonald’s Farm 16705 Coulterville Rd. oldmcdonaldsfarm.net Paws in the Park 10 a.m. Ross’s Landing Park 100 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 624-5302 heschatt.org Simplifying the Still Life with Timur Akhriev 10 a.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Beginner Macrame: Plant Hanger 10 a.m. Chattanooga Workspace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 413-8978 thechattery.org Free Gardening Class: Winter Pruning 10 a.m. UT Extension Office 6138 Adamson Cir. mghc.org Red Wolf Feeding and Talk Noon Reflection Riding Arboretum 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org A Space to Shift: 4 Hour Workshop 1 p.m. Chattanooga Workspace 302 W 6th St. (423) 413-8978 thechattery.org Barktober Fest and Meowlloween Party 4 p.m. McKamey Animal Center 4500 N. Access Rd. (423) 305-6500 mckameyanimalcenter.org Autumn in West Village 6 p.m. West Village 802 Pine St.


the Pulse

Halloween Guide The River Maze twisting and turning along the ocoee river

Barktober Fest fun for your four-leged furry friends

plus: haunted houses & halloween events WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO SEE, WHEN TO SCREAM

your weekly guide to chattanooga's favorite halloween events


The Ocoee River Maze By Ethan Palmer Right on the banks of the Ocoee lies a magical place. A place where people of all ages can come enjoy some fall fun. The place I’m referring to is the River Maze. Owned and operated by Joe and Dianne Fetzer, the River Maze offers so many varieties of activities for people to come down and experience. Upon driving up to the farm, the first impression I got was that this is something that positively impacts the whole community. For the last fourteen years the Fetzer’s have been doing their part to make fall a great time for the people of the Chattanooga and Cleveland area. The main attraction of the River Maze is the massive corn maze located directly to the side of the other fes-

tivities. This year’s theme of the corn maze is “Over the River and Through the Woods”. There are ten checkpoints throughout the maze that give you clues as to which direction to head next. But I have to be honest, I only got to the fourth one before I eventually turned around and headed back to the entrance. “The corn maze this year is the greenest we’ve ever had,” said Mr. Fetzer. Despite this maze being the biggest, there are also other mazes for different skill levels. The Soybean Maze, The No Left Turn Maze, and The Animal Maze are just a few examples. There are other activities like

the pumpkin patch where you can pick your own pumpkin, hayrides, cow trains, and lots of corn related activities. The River Maze is one of the best fall experiences I have ever been to. It will be going on every Friday through Sunday until the end of October. It’s located at 1371 Hwy. 64 and the fun begins at 6 p.m. We’ll see y’all down at the farm!

Barktober & Meowlloween By Allan Duggar Want to have a great time testing your Halloween costume ideas early? Do you have a four-legged family friend that wants to dress-up too? McKamey Animal Shelter hosts their fourth annual Barktober Fest this Saturday, October 20th, and everyone will be dress to the (k)nines. There will also be German cuisine, a beer garden by Terminal Brewhouse, trick-or-treating in the woods, and a football lounge. Costume categories include best owner/dog costume, funniest, most creative, and crowd favorite. There will be separate categories for dogs over and under 25 lbs. And for the anti-social felines left at home, the winner of the cat costume photos on Facebook will be announced this night. Contest entry is a one-time do14 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • HALLOWEEN GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

nation of $5. First and second place winners of the costume contest will receive prizes donated by Slobberbones. To register for the contest come early at 3 p.m. as the contest starts at 4 p.m. Trick-or-treating in the woods will be a not-so-scary activity for both children and adults. “Each department [at McKamey] will have a booth out there and they will go wild,” says Mary Ollie Newman, a spokesperson for McKamey. From 5–9 p.m., there will be pop-out scary surprises and plenty of candy for us and doggy treats for our friends. Entry is free for trick-or-treating with a donation of food or toys for either dogs or cats. There will also be pumpkin paint-

ing station for kids. Wives can also drop husbands off at the football lounge that’s open till 10 p.m. Tickets for the beer garden are $25 in advance and $35 at the door, and of course there will be live music. It all lasts from 5-10 p.m. All of this goes to benefit McKamey’s work and the dozens of animals they’ve rescued from Hurricane Florence. For more information and for tickets go to mckameyanimalcenter.org.


Haunted Houses & Events Dread Hollow Thur-Sun & Halloween 321 Browns Ferry Rd. (423) 800-0566 dreadhollow.com Blowing Springs Farm Fri-Sun in October 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531 blowingspringsfarm.com Rocktoberfest Fall Festival Sat & Sun in October Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Ringgold Haunted Depot Oct. 19-20, 26-27 155 Depot St. (706) 935-3061 cityofringgoldga.gov Escape Experience Chattanooga Daily through Oct. 31 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 551-3306 escapeexperience.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours Nightly through Oct. 31 57 E. 5th St. (423) 800-5998

chattanoogaghosttours.com

hamiltontn.gov/esnp

Halloween Eerie Express Fri & Sat in October Tennessee Valley Railroad 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com

Mayfield Corn Maze, Pumkin Patch & Haunted Trail Daily through Nov. 3 257 Hwy. 307 E. Athens, TN (423) 746-9859 mayfieldmaze.com

Acres of Darkness: Haunted Woods & Family Adventure Fri & Sat in October Audubon Acres 900 North Sanctuary Rd. (423) 892-1499 acresofdarkness.com Boo in the Zoo Oct. 19-20 & 26-27 Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattzoo.org Fall Hayrides & Campfires Saturdays in Oct. thru Nov. 3 Cloudland Canyon State Park 122 Cloudland Canyon Park Rd. (706) 657-4050 gastateparks.org Haunted Trail Oct. 26-27, 6 p.m. Enterprise South Nature Park 190 Still Hollow Loop (423) 893-3500

ODDtober Fri & Sat in October Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Post-Mortem Haunted Trail Fri & Sat in October Tri-State Exhibition Center 200 Natures Trail McDonald, TN (706) 339-4917 postmortem.myfreesites.net The Haunted Barn Fri & Sat in October, Nov. 3 5017 McDonald Rd. McDonald, TN (423) 396-9790 thehauntedbarnchattanooga. com The Haunted Hilltop Fri & Sat in October & Halloween

8235 Hwy. 58 (423) 488-3956 thehauntedhilltop.com The River Maze Fri-Sun in October 1371 Hwy. 64 Cleveland, TN (423) 650-0710 therivermaze.com WinnepeSPOOKah! Fri & Sat in October & Thurs. Oct 25 Lake Winnepesaukah 1730 Lakeview Dr. (706) 866-5681 lakewinnie.com BARKtober Fest and MEOWlloween Party Saturday, October 20 McKamey Animal Center 4500 N. Access Rd. (423) 305-6500 mckameyanimalcenter.org AquaScarium Friday, Oct. 26 Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Big Chill Halloween Bash Saturday, Oct. 27

The Big Chill 103 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 267-2455 thebigchillgrill.com Scary-Oke Contest Saturday, Oct 27 Sing It or Wing It 410 Market St. (423) 757-WING singitorwingitchattanooga. com Killer Prom Halloween Party Oct. 31, 8 p.m. Matilda Midnight @ The Dwell Hotel 120 E. 10th St. (423) 710-2925 matildamidnight.com Halloween Party & Ashley and The X’s CD Release Oct. 31, 9 p.m. Songbirds South 35 Station St. (423) 531-2473 museum.songbirds.rocks Haunted Hunter Oct. 31, 7 p.m. The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

westvillagechattanooga.com A Spooky Celebration of Fandom 6 p.m. Infinity Flux 3643 Hixson Pike (423) 591-5689 nerdynooganights.com “Devil’s Walk” 7:30 p.m. Back Alley @ The Mars Theater 117 N. Chattanooga St. (706) 621-2870 BAPshows.com Big Ed Caylor 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “The Last Five Years” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Your Stories 8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com Improv vs. Standup 10 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com

SUNDAY10.21 Simplifying the Still Life with Timur Akhriev 10 a.m. Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Chattanooga Market 10 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Carter St. (423) 648-2496 publicmarkets.us Farm Days 10 a.m. Old McDonald’s Farm 16705 Coulterville Rd. oldmcdonaldsfarm.net Free Fiddle School 2 p.m. Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd. (423) 994-7497 “The Last Five Years” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Hokus Joke-Us 7 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com

Big Ed Caylor 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY10.22 Autumn Belly Dance Session 5:45 p.m. Movement Arts Collective 3813 Dayton Blvd. (423) 401-8115 movementartscollective.com Joggers & Lagers 6 p.m. Chattanooga Brewing Co. 1804 Chestnut St. chattabrew.com

TUESDAY10.23 Wake Up & Run 6 a.m. Fleet Feet Sports 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 771-7996 fleetfeetchattanooga.com Tennessee Aquarium Conservation Institute Tour 4 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Conservation Institute 175 Baylor School Rd. (800) 262-0695

tnaqua.org Introduction to Zentangle 6 p.m. Chattanooga Workspace 302 W 6th St. (423) 413-8978 thechattery.org Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m. Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Paths to Pints along the Riverwalk 6:30 p.m. The Tap House 3800 St. Elmo Ave. taphousechatt.com Student Imrov Showcase 8 p.m. First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com Comedy with Brandie Posey 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

WEDNESDAY10.24 Middle Eastern Dance 10:30 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Main Street Market 4 p.m. 522 W. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Rapid Learning Kayak Skills + Roll Sessions 6 p.m. Chester Frost Park 2277 Gold Point Cir. N. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Naughty Knights Chess Meetup 7:30 p.m. The Bitter Alibi 825 Houston St. thebitteralibi.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • THE PULSE • 17


THE MUSIC SCENE

Southern Rock Royalty Scott Sharrard brings guitar grace to Songbirds

Stepping Back To The Present What do you get when you take easy listening pop music and recreate it with classical instruments like the cello? You get Ben Van Winkle. Primarily a cellist but versatile on many instruments, this artist has an original, upbeat sound. Friday night at 7:30 p.m. the Barking Legs host Ben Van Winkle and the Figment Chamber Ensemble. The ensemble is composed of musicians from various southern universities and from the Chattanooga Symphony Orchestra. But like the front man, this musical group offers a modern sound from their classical instruments, which include violins, viola, clarinet, and a flute. It’s not just the instruments but the singing that will serenade audiences’ ears. Ben Van Winkle is a beat boxer as well as a composer. His instrumental work is looped over in layers, which showcase his technical creativity. To get a taste of the sounds you an expect to hear, go to benvanwinklemusic.com. The song “Supernatural” has spontaneous movement. The singer whistles in one version and beat boxes more in another. It’s alternating sound of the same song, and it’s something all music lovers can appreciate. Tickets to this unique event are $15, and both they and more information can be found at Barkinglegs.com — Allan Duggar

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

Powerful, rich and running the gamut from throaty to mellifluous, his vocal chops are easily the equal to his guitar playing.”

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I

AM APPROACHING MY 26TH YEAR IN CHATTANOOGA and in that time there have been many fine music venues, but few have shown the kind of relentless commitment to raising the bar in the music scene the way Songbirds has. Their concert schedule this year alone has been packed with genuine musical legends but on Oct. 30th the venue plays host to Southern Rock Royalty as they welcome Scott Sharrard in support of his latest album, Saving Grace. Sharrard’s musical bona fides are long and impressive but he is undoubtedly best known as a lead guitarist, singer, co-writer, and musical director for the Gregg Allman Band.

In a well-worn quote, printed and published many times over, Allman had this to say about Sharrard: “I know all about guitar players— I’ve seen the very best—and Scott Sharrard is the perfect guitarist for my band. He understands that you don’t need to play just for the sake of playing; Scott isn’t one of those guys who thinks they’re getting paid by the note. He never steps on the vocals, and leaves plenty of room


Sharrard’s musical bona fides are long and impressive but he is undoubtedly best known as a lead guitarist, singer, co-writer, and musical director for the Gregg Allman Band.” for everyone else to do their thing, but when it’s time to solo, Scott delivers, boy.” It’s a nice bit of praise but the real depth of the sentiment is easy to miss. Good lead guitar players are a dime a dozen, if by good you mean technically capable and flashy. Great lead players are rare and what separates the good from the truly great comes down to one deceptively simple point, knowing when not to play. Maturity, restraint, taste; these are the marks of a truly great lead player and while the words of Gregg Allman certainly carry some gravitas, one need only listen to the Sept. 25th performance of his album’s title track (easily found on YouTube) to know that Sharrard is no mere technician. He

makes the instrument sing. For all his guitar playing ability, it would be a mistake to overlook his extraordinary vocal ability, reminiscent of Allman’s own. Powerful, rich and running the gamut from throaty to mellifluous, his vocal chops are easily the equal to his guitar playing. The combination of guitar, vocals, and superb song-writing ability make Sharrard one of the new standard-bearers of the genre. George Jones was speaking of country music when he asked, “Who’s Gonna Fill Their Shoes?” But in the case of soulful, gut-wrenching southern rock, Sharrard isn’t merely filling anyone’s shoes, he’s leading the way for a whole new generation. The album features the

talents of the Hi Rhythm Section as well as David Hood, Spooner Oldham and Chad Gamble, all wellknown Muscle Shoals musicians and includes Gregg Allman’s last original song, “Everything a Good Man Needs,” co-written with Sharrard. Sadly, Allman’s health failed before he had the chance to record the track himself, but its inclusion here is a both a fitting tribute and a bridge from the old to the new. Sharrard will be joined Ben Sparaco, a brilliant up and comer already making his own mark on the Nashville music scene. The show is scheduled for Tuesday, October 30th at 7 p.m. and tickets are available at Songbirds North and online now through Eventbrite.

JJ’s Anniversary Bash, Ashley And The X's

This Friday is the kick-off of the weekend long celebration of JJ’s Bohemia, undeniably the soul of the local music scene, in the heart of the MLK Blvd. district. Friday night will feature SunSap, Behold the Brave, Forest Fire Gospel Choir and Stoned Cold Fox. Saturday’s lineup includes Lew Card, Folk Killer, Tourist Trap, Pleezure Management, Justin and the Cosmics, Pinky Doodle Poodle, Cloak, Handsome Grandsons, Shakeys Bad Knee, Dumpster Babies and the much-loved Bohannons . Later on this month, on

Wednesday, Oct. 31st, Songbirds South presents the long-awaited, much anticipated release of Ashley and the X’s latest album, The Black Cat Sings. Destined to be one of Chattanooga’s very best albums of the year. Ashley and the X’s will be joined by Dr. B & the Ease, the “soulful four-piece with a blues edge” for a night of some of the best music the region has to offer. It being All Hallows Eve, the evening’s event includes a costume contest so please, dress inappropriately. — MTM

THU10.18

FRI10.19

SAT10.20

John Boy & Surround Sound

Tinsley Ellis

Kip Moore

The Surround Sound Band is a 15-piece ensemble led by the award winning producer from East Atlanta. 5:30 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. jazzanooga.org

Southern blues-rock guitar wizard, vocalist and songwriter Tinsley Ellis is a bona fide worldwide guitar hero. 7 p.m. Songbirds North 35 Station St. songbirds.rocks

Kip Moore combines a raw and rustic voice with compelling lyrics of honesty to create a unique sound that’s hypnotic and edgy. 7:30 p.m. The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • THE PULSE • 19


LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR THURSDAY10.18 John Boy & Surround Sound 5:30 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. jazzanooga.org James Crumble Trio 6 p.m. St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Nick Nace 6 p.m. 1885 Grill 3914 St. Elmo Ave. 1885grill.com Webb Barringer 6 p.m. Edley’s Bar-B-Que 205 Manufacturers Rd. edleysbbq.com Gino Fanelli 6:30 p.m. Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Amber Fults 6:30 p.m. Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Toby Hewitt 7 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com The Stanley Clarke Band 7 p.m. Songbirds North 35 Station St. songbirds.rocks Rising Fawn Social Club 7 p.m. Greenway Farms 5051 Gann Store Rd. outdoorchattanooga.com Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Co. 3210 Broad St. bendbrewingbeer.com Owen & Em 7:30 p.m. The Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Chris Robinson Brotherhood 8 p.m. Walker Theater 399 McCallie Ave.

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Gov't Mule

tivolichattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m. The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Gov’t Mule 8 p.m. The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com Open Mic Night 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Whitney Morgan Ft. Alex Williams 9 p.m. Songbirds South 41 Station St. songbirds.rocks.com

FRIDAY10.19 Food Truck Friday 11:30 a.m. Miller Park 928 Market St. millerparkplaza.com Maria Sable 6:30 p.m. Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Jimmy Dormire 6:30 p.m. Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Tinsley Ellis

7 p.m. Songbirds North 35 Station St. songbirds.rocks Resurrection Mary 7 p.m. Edley’s Bar-B-Que 205 Manufacturers Rd. edleysbbq.com Rick Rushing and The Blues Strangers 7:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Ben Van Winkle and the Figment Chamber Ensemble 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Tennessee Tremblers 8 p.m. Barley Taphouse 235 E. MLK Blvd. chattanoogabarley.com Cody James Harris 8:30 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com JJ’s 12th Anniversary Celebration 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com The Voodoo Fix 9 p.m. HiFi Clyde’s 122 W. Main St. hificlydeschattanooga.com

We Were Promised Jetpacks 9 p.m. Songbirds South 41 Station St. songbirds.rocks Courtney Holder 9:30 p.m. The Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY10.20 Danimal 6:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Jesse Jungkurth 6:30 p.m. Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com John Carroll 6:30 p.m. Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Faith Willin’ 7 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org The Briars 7 p.m. Edley’s Bar-B-Que


CBDB

205 Manufacturers Rd. edleysbbq.com Forever Bluegrass 7 p.m. Westbound Bar 24 Station St. westboundbar.com Kip Moore 7:30 p.m. The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com Singer-Songwriter Showcase 8 p.m. Barley Taphouse 235 E. MLK Blvd. chattanoogabarley.com Mike Compton & Joey Newberry 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Joey Winslett Band 8:30 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com CBDB, Maradeen 9 p.m. Songbirds South 41 Station St. songbirds.rocks Michael Hitchcock 9 p.m. Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com Sam Holt Band 9 p.m. HiFi Clyde’s 122 W. Main St.

hificlydeschattanooga.com JJ’s 12th Anniversary Celebration 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY10.21 Courtney Daly 12:30 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Carter St. publicmarkets.us Dana Rogers 2 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Carter St. publicmarkets.us Bluegrass Jam 4 p.m. Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd. (423) 994-7497 Bach Choir—Cantata Concert 5 p.m. Christ Church Episcopal 663 Douglas St. chattanoogabachchoir.org Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m. Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Mathis & Martin

7 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Michael Hitchcock 9 p.m. Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com

MONDAY10.22 Open Air with Jessica Nunn 6 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Open Mic 6 p.m. Edley’s Bar-B-Que 205 Manufacturers Rd. edleysbbq.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic with Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m. The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com

TUESDAY10.23 Danimal 6 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St.

backstagechattanooga.com String Theory: Sandbox Percussion 6:30 p.m. The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View huntermuseum.org Tlen Huicani 7 p.m. Southern Adventist University Ackerman Auditorium 4881 Taylor Cir. southern.edu Open Mic with Xll Olympians 8 p.m. Barley Taproom 235 E. MLK Blvd. chattanoogabarley.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

WEDNESDAY10.24 Noontunes: Floami Fly Noon Miller Park 928 Market St. (423) 265-3700 The Other Guys 6 p.m. SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Jesse James Jungkurth 7 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Jazz in the Lounge: OGYA 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m. Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • THE PULSE • 21


ERNIE PAIK'S RECORD REVIEWS

Various Artists The Great Krell Machine, Volume One (Flag Day)

O

ne of Jack Handey’s “Deep Thoughts” was “I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.” That’s similar to a plot twist in the 1956 sci-fi film Forbidden Planet, about an extinct, technologically advanced race called the Krell that created an enormous, powerful machine that could create things just by scanning people’s thoughts. The Krell were pacifists who were blind-sided by “Monsters from the Id”—creatures made from the Krell machine drawing from subconscious base desires—that wiped them out. The compilation The Great Krell Machine, Volume One consists of new music that brings

to mind pioneering mid-20th century electronic pieces, such as those made by Morton Subotnick, the Columbia-Princeton Electronic Music Center or the BBC Radiophonic Workshop. While people talk about “the good old days” and “simpler times,” they sometimes have a selective memory, forgetting the deep undercurrent of anxiety from the cold war and nuclear proliferation. The view of the future, from the mid-20th century, was both scary and exciting. So perhaps, either intentionally or unintentionally, the compilation taps into a certain spirit, with both wide-eyed wonder and apprehension—a contemporary view of what it might have felt like to be forward-thinking, a half-century ago. Such a vague and loose sonic theme allows for variation, with certain tracks using calm and patient ambient tones and drones, while others sport seemingly random whooshes, beeps and boops, evoking playfulness among disorder. The compilation begins with Francisco Meirino’s “He Knows It Is Your Other Self,” which immediately suggests (well, to this writer) some kind of medical scanning, carving and probing procedures upon a spaceship with sinister high-frequency electronics. The effervescent “Soap” from Cloning percolates and stimu-

22 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

lates with its own particular pulse, and the album’s most distinctive track is “Krell Sketches” by Walker Farrell, which adds piano musings and occasional squeals of delight from an infant to its electronic explorations—a distillation of the compilation’s duality of innocence and future shock.

Lonnie Holley MITH (Jagjaguwar)

T

he title of self-taught artist Lonnie Holley’s third album, MITH, shares its name with one of Holley’s found-object sculptures; it’s a cross made with a concrete beam and a piece of a granite headstone that once read “SMITH” before the “S” broke off. It offers various paths for interpretation—the Christian symbology, the word “myth” and its implications, the craftsman

etymology of the name “Smith” and the juxtaposition (hey, it’s not art criticism unless you use the word “juxtaposition”) of an expensive material (granite) next to a more common one (concrete). Like the sculpture, the doublealbum MITH has plenty of fodder for thought; best heard without interruptions or distractions, one wanders in Holley’s sprawling, often troubled realm that reflects his anxiety regarding the current state of the union. Starting with merely a title as an inspirational seed, Holley improvises on vocals and keyboards, and his voice is unpolished—sometimes jarring but unmistakable, with an occasional throaty rattle and Southern inflections from the Birmingham, Ala.-born artist. Although a visual artist for around four decades, Holley’s musical output had long been limited to improvised concerts until the release of two albums on Dust-to-Digital in 2012 and 2013, and in just a few years, Holley had performed with members of Deerhunter, Animal Collective, Bon Iver and Dirty Projectors, among many others. On MITH, collaborators include the mystical, ambient musician Laraaji, Appalachian folk duo Anna & Elizabeth, Courtney Harman (from Della Mae) and Pakistani-American multi-instrumentalist Shahzad Ismaily.

The most prominent collaboration, however, is with the duo Nelson Patton, featuring Dave Nelson on trombone and Marlon Patton on drums and Moog bass pedals, which contributes expansive jazz motifs to tracks including the bubbling “There Was Always Water” and “How Far Is Spaced-Out?” While ambient strolls and loose jazz dominate the musical approaches, the lyrical content is more perturbing, especially on the album’s centerpieces, the 18-minute “I Snuck Off the Slave Ship” and “I Woke up in a F--ked-Up America.” The former, which shares the title of Holley’s 2017 exhibition at the Atlanta Contemporary Art Center, sustains its distress with Holley’s stream of consciousness accompanied by chilling piano parts, and the terrible irony of the track is that the narrator exits one slave ship only to sneak on another slave ship. The latter is particularly tense, with crashing cymbals and bleating trombone parts, and Holley’s lyrics favor the visceral rather than the eloquent. Surprisingly, the album ends with the spirited and jaunty “Sometimes I Wanna Dance,” upbeat and in a major key, with a hint of gospel; although it feels like it could derail at any moment, it perhaps shows that joy can sprout despite prevailing fear, uncertainty and doubt.


FREE WILL ASTROLOGY LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “There are works which wait, and which one does not understand for a long time,” wrote Libran author Oscar Wilde. “The reason is that they bring answers to questions which have not yet been raised; for the question often arrives a long time after the answer.” That’s the weird news, Libra. You have been waiting and waiting to understand a project that you set in motion many moons ago. It has been frustrating to give so much energy to a goal that has sometimes confused you. But here’s the good news: Soon you will finally formulate the question your project has been the answer to. And so at last you will understand it. You’ll feel vindicated, illuminated, and resolved. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Many seekers who read horoscope columns want common-sense advice about love, career, money, and power. So I hope I don’t disappoint you by predicting that you will soon have a mystical experience or spiritual epiphany. Let me add, however, that this delightful surprise won’t merely be an entertaining diversion with no useful application. In fact, I suspect it will have the potential of inspiring good ideas about love, career, money, or power. If I had to give the next chapter of your life story a title, it might be “A Thousand Dollars’ Worth of Practical Magic.” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 1962, when she was 31 years old, Sagittarian actress Rita Moreno won an Academy Award for her role in the film West Side Story. In 2018, she attended the Oscars again, sporting the same dress she’d worn for the ceremony 56 years before. I think the coming weeks will be a great time for you, too, to reprise a splashy event or two from the past. You’ll generate soul power by reconnecting with your roots. You’ll tonify and harmonize your mental health by establishing a symbolic link with your earlier self. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Committee to Reward Unsung Good Deeds hereby acknowledges your meritorious service in the trenches of the daily routine. We praise your tireless efforts to make life less chaotic and more coherent for everyone around you. We’re grateful for the patience and poise you demonstrate as you babysit adults who act like children. And we are gratified by your capacity to keep long-term projects on track in the face of trivial diversions and petty complaints. I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you please intensify your vigilance in the next three weeks? We need your steadiness more than ever. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You need a special pep talk that’s best provided by Aquarian poet Audre Lorde. Please meditate on these

four quotes by her. 1. “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation. 2. “We have been raised to fear the yes within ourselves, our deepest cravings.” 3. “You cannot use someone else’s fire. You can only use your own. To do that, you must first be willing to believe you have it.” 4. “Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me.” 5. “The learning process is something you can literally incite, like a riot.” PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Warning: My horoscopes may interfere with your ability to rationalize your delusions; they could extinguish your enthusiasm for clichés; they might cause you to stop repressing urges that you really should express; and they may influence you to cultivate the state of awareness known as “playful wisdom.” Do you really want to risk being exposed to such lavish amounts of inner freedom? If not, you should stop reading now. But if you’re as ripe for emancipating adventures as I think you are, then get started on shedding any attitudes and influences that might dampen your urge to romp and cavort and carouse. ARIES (March 21-April 19): Humraaz is a word in the Urdu language. Its literal meaning is “secret sharer.” It refers to a confidante, a person in whom you have full trust and to whom you can confess your core feelings. Is there such a character in your life? If so, seek him or her out for assistance in probing into the educational mysteries you have waded into. If there is no such helper you can call on, I advise you to do whatever’s necessary to attract him or her into your sphere. A collaborative quest may be the key to activating sleeping reserves of your soul wisdom. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus author Roberto Bolaño suggests that the world contains more beauty than many people realize. The full scope and intensity of this nourishing beauty “is only visible to those who love.” When he speaks of “those who love,” I suspect he means deep-feeling devotees of kindness and compassion, hard-working servants of the greater good, and free-thinking practitioners of the Golden Rule. In any case, Taurus, I believe you’re in a phase when you have the potential to see far more of the world’s beauty. For best results, supercharge your capacity to give and receive love. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Once upon a time you were walking along a sidewalk when a fairy floated by and whispered, “I’m willing to grant you three wishywashy wishes for free. You don’t have to do any favors for me in return. But I will grant you three wonderfully wise wishes if you perform three tasks for me.” You

JONESIN' CROSSWORD asked the fairy, “What would those three tasks be?” She replied, “The second task is that you must hoodwink the devil into allowing you to shave his hairy legs. The third task is that you must bamboozle God into allowing you to shave his bushy beard.” You laughed and said, “What’s the first task?” The fairy touched you on the nose with her tiny wand and said, “You must believe that the best way to achieve the impossible is to attempt the absurd.” CANCER (June 21-July 22): You Crabs tend to be the stockpilers and hoarders of the zodiac. The world’s largest collections of antique door knobs and Chinese restaurant menus and beer cans from the 1960s belong to Cancerian accumulators. But in alignment with possibilities hinted at by current astrological omens, I recommend that you redirect this inclination so it serves you better. How? One way would be to gather supplies of precious stuff that’s really useful to you. Another way would be to assemble a batch of blessings to bestow on people and animals who provide you with support. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Chinese mythology tells us there used to be ten suns, all born from the mother goddess Xi He. Every 24 hours, she bathed her brood in the lake and placed them in a giant mulberry tree. From there, one sun glided out into the sky to begin the day while the other nine remained behind. It was a good arrangement. The week had ten days back then, and each sun got its turn to shine. But the siblings eventually grew restless with the staid rhythm. On one fateful morning, with a playful flourish, they all soared into the heavens at once. It was fun for them, but the earth grew so hot that nothing would grow. To the rescue came the archer Hou Yi. With his flawless aim, he used his arrows to shoot down nine of the suns, leaving one to provide just the right amount of light and warmth. The old tales don’t tell us, but I speculate that Hou Yi was a Leo. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You now have maximum command of a capacity that’s a great strength but also a potential liability: your piercing brainpower. To help ensure that you wield this asset in ways that empower you and don’t sabotage you, here’s advice from four wise Virgos. 1. “Thought can organize the world so well that you are no longer able to see it.” — psychotherapist Anthony de Mello 2. “Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.” —poet Mary Oliver 3. “I like to wake up each morning and not know what I think, that I may reinvent myself in some way.” —actor and writer Stephen Fry 4. “I wanted space to watch things grow.” —singer Florence Welch

“Suit Yourself”—all four are represented. ACROSS 1 Swingin’ Fitzgerald 5 Senate spots 10 “It’s my turn!” 14 Olympic skater/ commentator Johnny 15 “Halcyon” singer Goulding 16 Exploration org. 17 Cartoon detective played by Matthew Broderick and French Stewart 20 “Negatory” 21 Actress Emma 22 Ear irritation? 23 “This is reallllly wonderful ...” 25 Homer’s neighbor 26 Actresses West and Whitman 28 Comprehended 30 Beans that often get refried 32 Flip option 36 Golfer Ernie 39 “Aw gee, that’s peachy keen!” 40 Dairy dweller 41 Prepared nuts used for baking and pastries, maybe

46 Rotationproducing force 47 Like some missiles 51 Number after acht 52 Canadian major league team, on scoreboards 55 Dictation expert 56 “You Will Be My ___ True Love” (song from “Cold Mountain”) 57 In the neighborhood of 59 Hong Kong director Andrew (whose “Infernal Affairs” was remade as “The Departed”) 60 Pink Floyd classic from “The Wall” 64 Diva’s delivery 65 Chili powder ingredient 66 Fantasia, in 2004 67 Breed of tailless cat 68 GE competitor 69 Father, in France DOWN 1 “Dallas” dynasty 2 “The Raven” heroine

3 Follow a podcast 4 “Crumpled Papers” artist Jean 5 Branch 6 “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” singer John 7 Exclusively 8 Worn out 9 Circle div. 10 State with a town called Speedway 11 Like some poetry on the fridge 12 Operate 13 “Heartbreaker” singer Benatar 18 Lauder of cosmetics 19 Let in 24 Burnt stuff 27 Song that’s tough to do in a group 29 Mother of Perseus 30 Plug point 31 180° from NNE 33 Director Guillermo ___ Toro 34 Elliott of 2018’s “A Star Is Born” 35 Prefix for scope 36 “Spring ahead”

time in D.C. 37 Alex, in “Madagascar” 38 “I Put a Spell On You” singer ___ Jay Hawkins 42 Credit report company with a notable 2017 breach 43 “No idea” 44 Failing the white-glove test 45 Dog trainer’s command 48 Dupe 49 Beguile 50 Bar order 52 “Paper Moon” Oscar winner O’Neal 53 Time’s 2008 and 2012 Person of the Year 54 Batmobile passenger 58 Arm bone 60 GoPro, e.g. 61 Rita of 2018’s “The Girls Tour” 62 “His Master’s Voice” company 63 “___/Tuck” (medical drama)

Copyright © 2018 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents perminute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 906 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • THE PULSE • 23


FILM & TELEVISION

Very Haunted Houses The Haunting of Hill House gets quite scary

Milford Graves Full Mantis CoPAC and the Shaking Ray Levi Society are bringing an amazing documentary to town next Thursday, Oct, 25th, to the Barking Legs Theater. Milford Graves Full Mantis is the first ever feature-length portrait of renowned percussionist Milford Graves, exploring his kaleidoscopic creativity and relentless curiosity. After a sold-out screening at the Lincoln Center earlier this year, Chattanooga will have a rare opportunity to experience this acclaimed and fascinating documentary on a big screen. “One of the best jazz documentaries ever assembled...a singular viewing experience,” raves Byron Coley of The Wire. Graves has performed internationally since 1964, both as a soloist and in ensembles with such legends as Albert Ayler, Giuseppi Logan and Sonny Sharrock. He is a founding pioneer of avant-garde jazz, and he remains one of the most influential living figures in the evolution of the form. Graves tells stories of discovery, struggle and survival, ruminates on the essence of ‘swing,’ activates electronic stethoscopes in his basement lab to process the sound of his heart, and travels to Japan where he performs at a school for children with autism, igniting the student body into an ecstatic display of spontaneous collective energy. Check it out next Thursday evening at 7:30 p.m. at Barking Legs Theater, 307 Dodds Ave. for just $10. — Michael Thomas

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

There are stories from ancient history describing houses with strange noises and chained ghosts. It’s not a new phenomenon.”

24 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

H

OUSES WERE MEANT TO BE HAUNTED. A HUman life is too filled with misery to say otherwise. These places that we live are sponges for our memory—each corner, each cobweb, each crawlspace soaks up the experiences of those that live and die beneath their careful eye.

It should serve as no surprise that the human mind sees terrors in the dark. The terrors in the light have the decency not to hide their faces. They stare us down with every news story, every road accident, every war and rumor of war. Many of us see evil daily. Most of us even willfully have it broadcast into our homes. It is impossible that this evil doesn’t have an effect on something as fragile as the human psyche. Of course our houses are haunted. Our minds force them to be so. Perhaps that’s why haunted houses are so pervasive in our culture.

It seems to have always been so—there are stories from ancient history describing houses with strange noises and chained ghosts. It’s not a new phenomenon. Maybe hauntings are just one way the human mind compartmentalizes death and devilry seen around the world. The Haunting of Hill House (a new Netflix series based very loosely on the Shirley Jackson novel) is the most recent spin on an old story. The show is structured like so many shows are now. It’s a family drama, full of characters and history, each person revealing a dif-


ferent perspective on the larger story. Fans of This is Us or Parenthood might find this style familiar, though the NBC dramas tend to have fewer jump scares. What makes a good haunted house story isn’t the apparitions found inside, necessarily, but the sense of foreboding that creeps in the dark nooks and crevices of the house itself. The house has a story, a deadly and evil one, that remains hidden. It reminds me of another haunting film, 1408, based on the Steven King short story of the same name. The manager says of the haunted room itself: “It’s just an evil #%$* room.” Hill House is the same. Young Luke Crain tells his father that the house is simply bad. As in many stories, the Crain’s have moved to Hill House to renovate and restore, flipping the property into a million-dollar profit. The house has caretakers who refuse to stay in the house at night. Soon we learn this is for good reason. There are all manner of bumps in the night, some that will stay with the Crain family for the rest of their lives. There is nothing much out of character with this particular story. It is, after all, just a haunted house. What makes the story effective is

There is nothing much out of character with this particular story. What makes the story effective is the direction and acting.” the direction and acting. The Netflix series is directed by Mike Flanagan, known for films like Oculus, Hush, and Gerald’s Game. While the first few episodes are fairly standard fare, episode six, entitled “Two Storms” is an absolutely masterpiece in terms of direction and camera work. Flanagan utilizes long takes and sharp spins to heighten the tension felt by the family, as well as seamless cuts that blend two time periods into one, showing just how present the past is for the Crains. If I were to have a complaint about the direction, it’s with the use of blue/yellow filters to indicate setting and time. This is an industry wide complaint, however. I would rather see sharp colors rather than muted tones. Regardless, the direction is top notch. It wouldn’t work, however, without the dynamic performances by the cast. The Haunting of Hill House boasts and impressive cast list: Carla Gugino, Timothy Hutton, Michael Hiesman, Elizabeth

Reaser, and Kate Siegel to name just a few. The actors elevate scenes that could be histrionic or melodramatic into searing and powerful. These aren’t characters from a horror film—they’re damaged people in an impossible situation hoping to explain away a childhood trauma. However, much of the fear and isolation created by the first nine episodes nearly vanish as the series concludes. Fair warning to who watched—the ending is frustrating for being more in line with a family drama rather than a horror series. Still, anyone looking for a great horror series to jumpstart their Halloween will be thrilled with most of The Haunting of Hill House. It is rich, thematic, and frightening in many of the right places. It’s nice to have something new for a change, even if it’s revisiting a familiar story. There’s comfort in coming home.

✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴

Halloween Laurie Strode comes to her final confrontation with Michael Myers, the masked figure who has haunted her since she narrowly escaped his killing spree on Halloween night four decades ago. Director: David Gordon Green Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer

Can You Ever Forgive Me? When Lee Israel falls out of step with current tastes, she turns her art form to deception. An adaptation of the memoir “Can You Ever Forgive Me?”, the true story of best-selling celebrity biographer Lee Israel. Director: Marielle Heller Stars: Melissa McCarthy, Richard E. Grant

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • THE PULSE • 25


COLUMN · ON THE BEAT

Unformatted Backup: Natural Disaster Hurricanes and other disasters affect everyone. Including police.

W Alex Teach

Pulse columnist

You have to remember that your Police Officers are also residents, meaning that they, too, have potentially lost homes, possessions, and loved ones.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

HILE I HAVE ALWAYS FOund civil unrest and natural disasters to be the hands-down most exciting of all police incidents, there is a downside to the latter: There are no breaks. (Now before you get all wound up, don’t think I want either of those things to take place. Quite the opposite…I hope neither of them occur ever again. “BUT,” if they do, I’m just saying I’d prefer to be there. Same goes for a plane crash…but I’d better stop talking now.) Now where was I? Ah, “no breaks.” I’m not talking about plopping my polyester down at Champy’s for a quick half pound of fried chicken livers, no. I’m talking about being able to find a safe place to defecate and access to bottled water (and in that order, mind you), the most basic of needs. During Hurricane Katrina for example police lost all communications in many areas. No cell phones, no radios, no 911—just you (and a partner if you were lucky) representing all things law and order and hoping no one put you on the spot because there were not always operational jails, either. Google Seth Rogen’s “shotgun speech” from Observe and Report for the best case scenario. When order breaks down, things devolve far more quickly than you imagine and you get a crash course in the difference between Republicans and Democrats very quickly. (Spoiler alert: “Liberal Ideals” do not compare to “2nd Amendment Ideals” when poop hits the rotors.) You don’t have enough food in your home to last a week. What food you do have will spoil quickly, or you’ll be unable to prepare it without electricity or a camping stove. Your gas tank isn’t full and there are no service stations, and

26 • THE PULSE • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

everyone in your household will be looking to you and “the gubmint” for answers—and no one will be there to take your calls. Desperation sets in quickly, and the rest is too chilling for you to consider… which is why you psychologically avoid keeping spare gasoline or easily prepared food and potable water in case of emergencies. That said? You have to remember that your Police Officers are also residents, meaning that they, too, have potentially lost homes, possessions, and loved ones. In one Katrina storm surge a precinct was flooded to the point that Officers had to escape out of a window and onto its roof, their gear and cars lost along with their homes. Think they felt like manning phones (that no longer existed) to answer a call about your neighbor eying your garage freezer with foul intent? In New Orleans during the same storm, over 200 NOPD Officers simply hung up their uniforms and walked off the job, and, in two cases, committed suicide. Those remaining miserably worked 24/7 engaging in gun unpubli-

cized battles until they quickly ran out of ammunition. This isn’t a hit piece on cops mind you—the suicides were directly related to the officers' entire families being killed along with losing their homes and possessions, which was also the case with most of those other 198 that called it quits—I’m just showing you how tenuous a thread it is from which we hang as a civilized society. Hurricane Michael, a more powerful hurricane that hit less vulnerable areas (specifically the ones NOT built by a genius below sea level despite being next to “the sea”) has few such stories yet, but the lesson still stands: Bottled water is cheap. So are shotguns and approved gasoline containers. Just thoughts, albeit dark ones regarding your need to consider lifting that thin veneer of “civilized society” and at least being aware of your fellow man’s baser instincts when push literally comes to shove. ‘Till then? I’ll save you some fried chicken livers if you hurry. (I’m on the way to a restaurant very easily taken for granted now that I think about it.)


CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • OCTOBER 18, 2018 • THE PULSE • 27



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