The Pulse 13.49 » December 8, 2016 by Brewer Media Group

DECEMBER 8, 2016

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

COVER STORY

a day of infamy

A LOCAL PEARL HARBOR VETERAN REMEMBERS THE DAY THAT CHANGED THE WORLD By Beth Miller

FINDING MUSICAL PEACE • GIFT GUIDE • TALKING TO ALIENS

TWITTER : @TRCK29 FACEBOOK : TRACK 29 INSTAGRAM: TRACK_29

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14TH

ST. PAUL AND THE BROKEN BONES WITH CICADA RHYTHM

$25 ADVANCE & $28 DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17TH

PHANTOGRAM WITH FOREIGN AIR

$25 ADVANCE & $28 DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 31ST

NEW YEARS EVE WITH JUICY J WITH DOUGIE F & PPR PANDA

$55 ADVANCE & $60 DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

SATURDAY, JANUARY 7TH

JAMEY JOHNSON

WITH CHRIS HENNESSEE

$30 ADVANCE & $35 DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 11TH

YACHT ROCK REVUE 70’S LIGHT ROCK TRIBUTE

$12 ADVANCE & $15 DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 17TH

KATHLEEN MADIGAN BOTHERING JESUS TOUR

$30 ADVANCE & $35 DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 6:15 PM• •SHOW SHOW8PM 7PM DOORS 7PM

3/9 3/11 4/28 -

THE MOTH BALL GET THE LED OUT PAULA POUNDSTONE

2 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

VOLUME 13, ISSUE 49 DECEMBER 8, 2016

CONTENTS 4

HELPING HOMELESS VETS HERE IN CHATTANOOGA

The increasing veteran homeless population is a serious problem that is currently plaguing America. On average 39,471 veterans living on the streets of America every night.

12 14 28

LEARNING TO SAY “HELLO, WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

While Independence Day was my introduction to malevolent alien forces bent on committing human genocide to drain the Earth of her resources, it was Contact that showed me compassionate aliens.

FINDING MUSICAL DEEP PEACE THIS SEASON

You won’t find a more lovely and illuminating way to celebrate the season than an evening with Eya: Ensemble for Medieval Music at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church on Tuesday, Dec. 13.

NOT YOUR REGULAR HOLIDAY CELEBRATION

The holiday season is upon us. Time once again to strive, for at least a little while, to be nicer to each other and maybe indulge in a little extra consumerism too.

ALSO INSIDE

Remembering Pearl Harbor The sun shone in a clear, blue sky overlooking Pearl Harbor. The day was quiet with many soldiers on leave. Battleships were lined up in a tight, neat row in the shallow waters awaiting the return of their full crews.

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

CONSIDER THIS

MUSIC CALENDAR

SHRINK RAP

RECORD REVIEWS

NEW IN THEATERS

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

ARTS CALENDAR

OPINIONS & DIVERSIONS

HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

BUSINESS BRIEFS

MIXOLOGY

In her day-to-day life, Beth Miller is a writer, photographer and videographer who longs for the day she can toss her phone and computer into the river and live a life of solitude away from other humans and reality television.

Music editor Marc T. Michael is a long-standing presence in the local music scene . When not playing with local Irish group the Molly Maguires, Marc can be found hosting trivia matches throughout the city.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 3

BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE

Helping Homeless Veterans Heroes Hand Up seeks to help those who should never be forgotten By Adam Beckett

T BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Adam Beckett • Thom Benson Rob Brezsny • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Sandra Kurtz Mike McJunkin • Beth Miller Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Stephanie Smith Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Rick Leavell Libby Phillips • John Rodriguez Logan Vandergriff • Joseph Yang

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2016 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

Pulse contributor

HE INCREASING VETERAN HOMEless population is a serious problem that is currently plaguing America. According to the 2016 Annual Homeless Assessment Report to Congress, there are on average 39,471 veterans living on the streets of America every night. There are organizations and coalitions across the United States that all operate in hopes to do their local part to make a nationwide difference, and provide for the homeless veterans and their families that struggle with them. Heroes Hand Up is a local organization that was initiated by veterans, with a mission to combat the growing epidemic of homelessness among American veterans in Chattanooga. They are devoted to bringing quality of life to the forgotten heroes, and promoting purpose driven lives, while increasing the awareness and involvement of the community. They want to give the homeless veterans a hand up, instead of a hand out. American soldiers leave their friends and family for an extended period to honorably serve our country, and fight to keep our freedom intact. Often, they get deployed to war or conflict zones and do not ever come back home, or they come back home having seen all the horrors of war, something those of us who haven’t experienced can’t possibly imagine. Sometimes they come back maimed physically, emotionally, or both. Hollywood has done a great job of venerating war in general; and while it may be honorable, it is far from glorified. Try to imagine operating properly while dealing with killing people, watching close friends get slain, dodging explosions and bullets, PTSD, loss of bodily functions or limbs; these are the harsh realities some former many veterans face daily, and for some it is

4 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“With a little awareness, love, and caring from the community, together we can join forces to help this wonderful organization put an end to veterans living on the streets.” just too much to deal with. People can develop long lasting psychological damage from war. They can turn to drugs and alcohol to try to forget about it; and wind up hitting rock bottom and living on the streets. Heroes Hand Up’s forefront is providing a weekly service to the local homeless veterans and their families, but they typically assist the local homeless population in general. The non-profit group rotates through the spread out homeless communities to provide resources such as food, clothing, shoes, hygiene products, and blankets. They also bring with them the ability to transport, and process people into rehabilitation and medical facilities immediately, as well as helping the veterans find viable employment, and psychological help. In addition to their weekly ser-

vices, currently, Heroes Hand Up is working with Signal Voice and Data to implement a telephone communication system with different options for veterans, homeless families with children, and homeless individuals. The system would allow people to reach out to them for additional or specific needs. With a little awareness, love, and caring from the community, together we can join forces to help this wonderful organization put an end to veterans living on the streets. Heroes Hand Up hosts fund-raising, and donation-gathering events and are always looking for volunteers. Email info@heroeshandup.org for more information. To donate please visit heroeshandup.org and click the donate button at the bottom of the screen. All donations are strictly used to assist needy Veterans and their families.

Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon by Rob Rogers

“Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn’t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.” —unknown

Get In The Holiday Spirit With Santa's Pub Crawl No Christmas is complete without at least one relative getting so drunk they effectively invite themselves to stay the night in your bathtub. Copious amounts of good cheer and alcohol makes for a spectacular set of memories, but subtract creepy Uncle Earl, throw in your best friends and Chattanooga’s coolest pubs, and you’ll definitely have some killer stories for the grandkids one day that don’t start with “when I was your age,” but very well may end with you waking up in that bathtub. From 3 to 11 p.m. this Saturday you’ll experience all that the Chatta-

nooga bar scene has to offer as you and your pals take on Santa Claus’ Pub Crawl. A ‘sorta tentative’ schedule has been posted to the website listing some of

the city’s best bars as stops for the night. From Clydes on Main and Feed Co. to Honest Pint, Hair of the Dog, Sing it or Wing it, and so many more, the night will surely be one to remember, if you can manage to do so. Designate someone to document the night over Snaphchat so you can relive the glory as you nurse your Bloody Mary the following morning. Sign up and view the schedule on the website, chattacrawl.squarespace. com. And don’t forget to line up your Uber. Be safe this season! — Brooke Brown

Well, ain’t that the truth…at least some days, right? The state of being an adult can sometimes creep up on us, ill-prepared, wondering where the time went and which choices have led to this place and this moment in time. It seems to me that the holiday season is the perfect time to reflect on this. When I say, “holiday season,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? On the continuum from “dread” to “joy,” where do you land? Consider this: This year, think inward, and outward. What I mean by that is to take a moment, take a breath, and think about what you can do for others, and what your own needs are as well. Make sure you are on your priority list. And then observe what happens. — Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 5

TWITTER: @REVELRYROOM FACEBOOK: REVELRY ROOM INSTAGRAM: REVELRY ROOM

WWW.REVELRYROOM.CO

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9TH

WILL HOGE

WITH WEBB BARINGER & ELISE DAVIS

$15 ADVANCE & $20 DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 10TH

ZOSO

THE ULTIMATE LED ZEPPELIN TRIBUTE

$15 ADVANCE & DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 15TH

FUTUREBIRDS WITH OKINAWA

$12 ADVANCE & $15 DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16TH

NEON MOON

90’S COUNTRY TRIBUTE $10 ADVANCE & DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17TH

RUMOURS

A FLEETWOOD MAC TRIBUTE $15 ADVANCE & DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 18TH

BEHOLD THE BRAVE

WITH THE GILLS & MIGHTY

$10 ADVANCE & DAY OF SHOW

DOORS 8PM • SHOW 9PM

FULL SHOW CALENDAR 12 / 22 - NEW MADRID 12 / 23- DIAMOND DOGS: DAVID BOWIE TRIBUTE 12 / 30 - CBDB 12 / 31 - NYE WITH THE VELCRO PYGMIES 1 / 6 - THE MARCUS KING BAND 1 / 14 - STEEP CANYON RANGERS 1/20 - SOUL MECHANIC 1 / 21 - TYSON LEAMON BAND / ONE SHOT DOWN

2 / 22/32 / 16 2 / 17 2/22 3 / 16 4/13 4 / 30 -

BIG SOMETHING PAPADOSIO ISAIAH RASHAD DRIVIN N CRYIN MUDDY MAGNOLIAS SON VOLT COLONY HOUSE DAWES

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COLUMN ∙ SHADES OF GREEN

Was Jesus An Environmentalist? Tis the season for celebrating the bounties of our world…while we can

Sandra Kurtz

Pulse columnist

“You shall not pollute the land in which you live…you shall not defile the land in which you live, in which I also dwell.” Numbers 35:33-34.

ELL, IT’S DECEMBER, THE holiday season! Amidst all the extra tasks, the shopping, decorating, baking, wrapping gifts, and entertaining plus special programs and party attendance, sooner or later you are justified in asking why. Good question. What is the reason for the season? Most Christians today say our reason is for celebrating the birth of Jesus. Actually, long before Jesus’ birth, people were holding agricultural festivities or gathering to ward off the coming dark, dangerous winter days. The Romans were celebrating Saturnalia with feasting, gambling, gift giving, gladiators, and human sacrifices. As a devout Jew, Jesus likely celebrated Hanukkah, the eight-day rededication to spiritual freedom and for repair of the world. Jesus was certainly anti-corruption and brought us a message to love one another and get saved. Saving us. Isn’t that an environmentalist goal? Could we then call Jesus an environmentalist? To answer that question, first consider cultural and social sanctions of the time plus geographic features and climate where Jesus lived. A topographic map shows a long narrow valley between two mountain

ranges. Water drained from both ranges into Nazareth where Jesus grew up near the Sea of Galilee (13 x 8 miles in size). Jerusalem is 100 miles south. Imagine fertile farming. Olives, wheat for flatbreads, barley, grapes, pomegranates, legumes, melons, dates, nuts, and oranges flourished in this temperate climate. Fish, sheep, goats, cows, and chickens were available for meat. Wine, water, milk and honey accompanied meals. There was a large gap between rich and poor. Jesus grew up in a carpenter-led family meaning middle class, but he was basically homeless wandering the land with 12 other guys leading a communal lifestyle. He lived close to the land and shunned wealth accumulation. The group depended on people sharing food and homes. Each village would have a courtyard with a cistern where water was stored. Given there was no plastic, no electricity, no polluting emissions from vehicles, and little use of resources for clothing, food, and housing, Jesus chalks up some environmental points. Education was important for Jewish families. Torah teachings shaped Jesus’ thinking. The Jewish Scriptures speak of God’s caring for and sustaining the natural order (e.g., Psalm 104, 147; Job 36:27-33). In the same vein, Jesus often reflects God’s concern for the earth anticipating a time when peace and harmony will reign both

in the world of nature and between humans and the rest of nature. For example, Jesus would have known about the wolf lying down with the lamb (Isaiah 11:6-9). More environmental points for having a sense of stewardship and human responsibility. A Jewish boy would know of scriptures that addressed justice. In those days, there were servants and even slaves who worked the farms. Jewish thinking indicated that everyone should have a day off from work including animals. The land belonged to all and one must share. The idea of tithing was originally tied to land, not money. If you owned farmland, to be a good steward, you were obligated to not harvest the ‘corners of your fields’. Share with others because that’s everyone’s right. In his many parables and teachings Jesus used images from the natural world—mustard seeds,

grains of sand, lilies of the field, sparrows, etc.—to emphasize our dependence on nature to live. The stories carried a lesson about our behavior toward one another too. Today those concerned about the environment recognize that the work is connected to justice. It seems that Jesus understood that connection. Jesus qualifies as an environmentalist through his communal living, his teachings to care for one another, and his land and justice concerns. Reasons we can all celebrate! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! I am indebted to Rabbi Teri Appleby of Mizpah CongregationReform and Dr. Richard Young, Biblical scholar and author, for their contributions to this month’s column. Sandra Kurtz is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute. You can visit her website to learn more at enviroedu.net

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 7

COVER STORY

The Day That Will Forever Live In Infamy 75 years later, local Pearl Harbor survivor George Allen looks back on the day that changed the world...and forever changed his life By Beth Miller Pulse contributor

HE SUN SHONE IN A

clear, blue sky overlooking Pearl Harbor. The day was quiet with many soldiers on leave. Battleships were lined up in a tight, neat row in the shallow waters awaiting the return of their full crews. After cleaning up in the kitchen, PFC George Allen, along with another soldier, was assigned to KP duty. “Allen!” the head cook barked. “There’s a 100-lb bag of potatoes out there, and I need that in about an hour!” They looked for the usual threefoot stools “because you can’t stand up to peel all those damned things” but were only able to find “these little one-foot deals, so we were close to the ground,” Allen remembers. As they peeled potatoes and looked upon Pearl Harbor, a V-formation of birds flew overhead and Allen remarked that it reminded him of the geese formations back in Maine, his home. They talked about the birds for a bit and continued to peel potatoes. Within seconds, a Japanese Zero fighter plane banked into view and shot a hole just above their heads through the building. “We were lucky we had only the short stools that morning,” Allen laughs now. 8 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

COVER STORY The Japanese Zero circled around and came back for another pass, only this time, the pilot had the canopy open with his arm propped on the side of the cockpit gesturing at Allen and the other soldier, “We don’t know whether he was saying ‘I missed ya’ or ‘I’ll get ya next time’.” Born in 1922 in Portland, Maine, Allen was one of six children. For a short time, Robert Allen, George’s father, graced the stage as a backup singer for Al Jolson, but Robert ended up trading in the microphone for a more stable career as a baker at the urging of his wife. Since women were only allowed in the workforce in such capacities deemed fit such as a nurse or seamstress, Margaret, of French-Canadian descent, worked as a housewife. Of the six children, two did not survive—one died at birth and another died at age 13 of appendicitis. However, the other four children grew into adulthood with Allen enlisting in the military at age 18 in Lowell, Mass. on October 21, 1940. On that same day, he reported for duty at Fort Devens, Mass. where he began training to be a Machine Gunner. In April of 1941, Allen was shipped to the Brooklyn Naval Yard in New York City where he awaited departure for the Philippines—the agreed upon destination of his Foreign Service assignment. The Navy did not have any spare troop ships to transport Allen and the rest of the 24th Infantry Division, which later formed the 25th, so they traveled aboard a passenger vessel, which, at departure from San Francisco, Allen learned was heading to Oahu.

On August 13, 1941, he landed on Hawaii where he was stationed at Schofield Barracks for training. The troops were immediately placed on maneuvers and continued to train for several weeks, coming off maneuvers only ten days before Pearl Harbor was hit. Allen was chosen for KP duty and started his day at 0400 hours on December 7, 1941. The Japanese Zero circled around and came back for another pass, only this time, the pilot had the canopy open with his arm propped on the side of the cockpit gesturing at Allen and the other soldier, “We don’t know whether he was saying ‘I missed ya’ or ‘I’ll get ya next time’.” With the soldiers coming off maneuvers, many took leave, which required all weaponry to be locked safely within the armory. Allen and the other soldier darted into the barracks where others were yelling and screaming for their rifles. “There was no time to be afraid,” Allen explains. “Everything happened so quickly.” The attack lasted approximately one hour and eight minutes and, from the start, it took an hour to receive orders to open the armory. In the meantime, thunderous explosions from the bombs and torpedoes striking the Naval fleet in the harbor caused the ground to shake, Allen recalls.

Predicting a land assault by Japanese forces, Allen’s unit moved into the jungle located in the hills above Pearl Harbor to dig in with their artillery. Months passed and nothing happened—at Pearl Harbor at least. Allen was shipped to Sydney, Australia where he began rigorous training alongside the Aussies. Equipped with only 30,000 troops in a country comparable in size to the United States, the arrival of Allen and the 24th was a

welcome sight as the bulk of the Australian military assisted the British in their campaign against the Germans in Africa. Allen’s memory of his timeline is a bit hazy, but if asked to recall the morning of the attack, “I’ll forget your name by the time you walk out the door, but I can see the Jap pilot with the big, damn goggles he had.” Allen fought battles in New Guinea, Dutch New continued on page 10

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 9

COVER STORY

Guinea at Tanahmerah Bay, and at Leyte and Luzon in the Philippine invasion. He was relieved of duty on the island of Mindoro just off the coast of Luzon and sent home. On June 6, 1945, he received an Honorable Discharge—only three months before the end of WWII. Prior to his enlistment in the Army, Allen attempted to take guitar lessons but quickly grew disappointed. A very sad 13-year old was asked by his mother, “Didn’t you take your lesson, dear?” Frustrated 10 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

at the thought of learning music by the numbers, an unacceptable notion, Allen quit. Immediately following his discharge, Allen enrolled in music school at the Schillinger House in Boston. Picking up where he left off, Allen began a rigorous process of learning how to properly read music and, by the end of his schooling 18 months later, began his music career by filling in as a steel guitar player for Alvino Rey and The King Sisters.

COVER STORY

“The Japanese and U.S. veterans alike share their memories with their families and with each other in an effort to remember, demonstrating, despite our cultural differences, we are all the same.” During his 40-year career in the music world, Allen crossed paths with greats such as Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Glen Campbell and Elvis Presley. “I made some money off Elvis,” Allen laughed and paused as if waiting to reveal a punch line. Seated in his local Legion Post, Allen and the guys discussed Elvis’ first appearance in New York tossing around dates and shows. Allen piped up, “That’s not the first time Elvis was in New York.” “You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” one of the guys retorted. “The first time Elvis was in New York, he was on the Tommy Dorsey television show,” Allen said with his strong Northern accent making Dorsey sound more like “Dawsey.” Placing a bet of $500, Allen wasn’t sure how he would ever prove himself. Several years after the bet was made, Allen sat in the very same Legion Post in Cleveland, Tenn. and noticed that on the front page of the Chattanooga Times Free Press several special events in history were noted. Listed among them was “Elvis Presley plays The Dorsey Brother’s Stage Show on January 28, 1956.” Allen couldn’t believe it. In addition to American Legion Post 81, Allen is an active member of VFW Post 2598—also located in Cleveland. Allen moved

to Cleveland in 2006 to be near his daughter. He is Bradley County’s only remaining Pearl Harbor attack survivor and continues to remain involved in the community and within the country; Allen visits schools, nursing homes, VA hospitals and veteran’s homes speaking on his experience in the war. He even gives a music lesson or two here and there. For PFC Allen, the war began as he sat on the short stool and peeled potatoes, but for the United States, the attack signaled our entrance into World War II—a conflict we longed to avoid. Allen was in the war zone three years, eight months and twelve days and is only a few months shy of five years total service. Allen’s decorations include the Philippine Liberation Ribbon with two Bronze Stars, the Asiatic Pacific Theater Campaign Ribbon with four Service Stars and the Philippine Presidential Unit Award. Calvin Coolidge said, “The nation which forgets its defenders will be itself forgotten.” Pearl Harbor is now a memorial to both the living and the dead who served there. The Japanese and U.S. veterans alike share their memories with their families and with each other in an effort to remember, demonstrating, despite our cultural differences, we are all the same. The legacy left behind by veterans of all military branches can live on if we will simply “Remember.” CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 11

FILM & TELEVISION

Learning To Say “Hello, Why Are You Here?” Arrival tackles the biggest challenge of first contact

Remastering A Holiday Classic For IMAX Many families make seeing The Polar Express 3D part of their holiday traditions. This heart-warming adventure, based on the beloved children’s book by Chris Van Allsburg, takes audiences on an extraordinary train ride to the North Pole. Viewers fall in love with a doubting young boy who embarks on a journey of self-discovery that shows him that the wonder of life never fades for those who believe. And like an early gift from the North Pole, Corey Cobb found a big surprise in a relatively small box. The Tennessee Aquarium’s IMAX senior operator received a digital cinema package containing a brand new IMAX with Laser remaster of the animated holiday classic. “It was a complete shock to me that it was coming out so soon,” said Cobb. “I’m pretty excited for everyone to see this new version. It’s going to look so much better than the film print we’ve shown throughout the years.” Compared to the 600-pound spools of film he used to work with when showing this movie, this digital cinema package almost fits into Cobb’s shirt pocket. Although much smaller in size, the visual impact will be stunning. “The Polar Express 3D will be much brighter on screen and the snow scenes will look fantastic,” said Cobb. “It has always been fun watching audiences grabbing at the snowflakes. I can’t wait to see them reacting to the IMAX with Laser version.” — Thom Benson The Polar Express 3D in IMAX with Laser Daily showings now through December 19 Tennessee Aquarium IMAX 3D Theatre 201 Chestnut Street (423) 266-4629 www.tennesseeaquarium.org/IMAX 12 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

HILE INDEPENDENCE DAY WAS my introduction to malevolent alien forces bent on committing human genocide to drain the Earth of her resources, it was Contact, a film based on Carl Sagan’s novel of the same name, that showed me compassionate aliens intent on ushering humanity into the next phase of their evolution. For once, the beings from outer space weren’t to be fought but to be embraced. Of course, the aliens in Contact are never really seen—only their plans, their messages, and their comforting projections are encountered by the audience. At the time, it was as realistic a scenario as we could muster, a true science fiction film meant to encourage the audience

to think, not an action film disguised by laser beams and slippery, disgusting beasts. There have been several films like Contact in recent years. Films like Europa Report, Interstellar, Sunshine, and The Martian are all high quality tales of humanity in the face of the unknown. The best sci-fi isn’t about far off planets or invaders from the heavens. It’s about the enduring spirit of mankind. Arrival is one of those films. It features a strong cast, beautiful visuals, and cogent message about the importance of a unified species in the face of the unknown. The film begins, like so many films of its type, with the appearance of strange objects in the sky. There are twelve of them, scattered around the globe, hovering just a few feet off the ground. Immediately, nations around the world are thrown into turmoil. Communication lines are established, roads

FILM & TELEVISION

“How can you communicate with another being if they have no concept of past, present, and future? Suddenly, verb tenses become very unimportant.” are blocked, and governments take control. Secrecy abounds. All of this is communicated through cable news clips and radio soundbites in the background of one woman’s story. She is Louise Banks (Amy Adams), a celebrated linguist who has done work with the U.S. military, translating Farsi and helping to stop insurgent uprisings. After a few weeks, Louise is contacted by Army Colonel Weber (Forrest Whittaker), the man in charge of the quarantined spacecraft. The beings are trying to communicate and they need someone to translate for them. Every eighteen hours, a hatch opens in the craft and humans around the planet enter and interact with the beings inside. They are giant, tentacled, and speak with long, flowing tones similar to whale calls and impossible to imitate. But soon

after Louise’s arrival on sight, she discovers that they have a written language that can correspond to ours, giving her a chance to finally ask the creatures the big question: what is your purpose on Earth? As always, Amy Adams is exceptional in her role. If she is nominated for an Academy Award again, it wouldn’t be a surprise (although, if she is, she will tie Glenn Close for the number of times an actress has been nominated without winning). The rest of the cast also performs admirably. But it’s the themes in the film that are the most interesting, as well as their development. For those of us with English degrees, it’s nice to see language being shown as essential. There is a scientific side to communication and the film does an excellent job of showing the challenges of communication with vastly different language systems. But even beyond just these differences, the film takes care to indicate that different species will experience the universe differently based on their

physiology and evolution, indicating that even simple things like the perception of time may play a vital role in coming to a point of understanding. How can you communicate with another being if they have no concept of past, present, and future? Suddenly, verb tenses become very unimportant. While these major themes play out in the film and give the audience a sense of wonder and beauty, the unravelling of society in the background comes distinctly into focus. The unknown is terrifying and any government that is willfully keeping the world in the dark about such a momentous occasion is likely folly. But how else would it be handled? In the U.S., at least, there’s a good chance the new leader of the free world would spend his hours angrily tweeting at the sky. As always, Arrival speaks to the necessity of worldwide cooperation. And even without space aliens, it’s a message the world needs to hear.

✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴

La La Land A jazz pianist falls for an aspiring actress in Los Angeles in this mix of classic and contemporary filmmaking that is already getting early buzz as a potential Best Picture winner come awards season. Director: Damien Chazelle Stars: Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, J.K. Simmons

Office Christmas Party When his uptight CEO sister threatens to shut down his branch, the branch manager throws an epic Christmas party in order to land a big client and save the day, but the party gets way out of hand... Directors: Josh Gordon & Will Speck Stars: Jason Bateman, Olivia Munn, Jennifer Aniston

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 13

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Finding Musical Deep Peace This Season Eya: Ensemble for Medieval Music is a joyous, pure thrill

It’s Not Christmas Without Charlie Brown Unsurprisingly, each family has their own Christmas traditions that are passed down through the years. Some make gingerbread houses and hot cocoa, some sing carols to neighboring homes, some may volunteer at community kitchens, but it’s a safe bet to say that nearly every family turns on A Charlie Brown Christmas at least once during the holiday season, or has in the past. It’s a classic cartoon, with Charlie and his friends grappling with the true meaning of Christmas, and it’s a favorite for many adults and children alike. This Sunday, you can experience Charlie’s Christmas story live at the Chattanooga Theatre Center, with special daytime school performances on Thursday and Friday. Join Charlie, Snoopy, Lucy, Linus, and all of the gang as they tackle the school Christmas pageant in a sure-to-be fantastic holiday experience that the entire family will enjoy. There will be two casts, which will alternate daily performances, one the Joe Cool cast, the other known as the WWI Flying Ace cast. Each is made up of a collection of Chattanooga’s finest theatre-loving students from CCA, CSAS, Red Bank and many more schools in the area. Catch a showing before the final performance on Sunday or be reduced to watching it in the same fashion as always. — Brooke Brown A Charlie Brown Christmas Sunday, 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River Street (423) 267-8534 www.theatrecentre.com 14 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Janis Hashe

Pulse contributor

OU WON’T FIND A MORE LOVELY and illuminating way to celebrate the season than an evening with Eya: Ensemble for Medieval Music. The three-woman group will fill downtown’s St. Paul’s Episcopal Church on Dec. 13 with their clear, pure voices and exquisite harmonies. Eya’s founder, Allison Mondel, describes grow-

ing up in a Jewish household and “having ancient chants embedded in my DNA.” As she continued to study music, she came across the ethereal, cosmic compositions of the 12th-century Benedictine abbess, Hildegard von Bingen. “I knew I needed to know more about this,” she says, describing how an influential mentor “teased out my attention to the medieval repertoire.” She became, in fact, a notation and performance specialist of the chants of Hildegard von Bingen, and sang the abbess’s music at Presi-

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

“Listening to this type of music in the soaring confines of St. Paul’s is a spiritual experience. You hear the sonorities, the vocal purity, the blend of voices. It touches people,” dent Obama’s second Inaugural Prayer Service at Washington National Cathedral. Eventually, she realized that she wanted to create an ensemble that focused on medieval music, and Eya, which is a “joyous exclamation” in Latin, was born. They have gone on to universal critical acclaim, called by the Washington Post: “Remarkable…gorgeous… with precise ensemble, a strong sense of presence, and ringing vowels that reverberated to the farthest reaches of the cathedral.” Mondel, a soprano, is joined in Eya by soprano Crossley Hawn and mezzo-soprano Kristen Dubenion-Smith. Mondel chooses Eya’s performance pieces in several ways. “I may hear a piece recorded by other artists—or I find a text,” she says, explaining how one piece evolved

from a text by the poet John Donne. Yet, though Eya’s music comes from the 12th-15th centuries, the 21st century has definitely discovered it, Mondel says. “We can see when our music shows up on Spotify or Pandora,” she says. “[It means there are] people out there creatively listening.” “Natus est Rex” (“A King is Born”), the program Eya will present at St. Paul’s is “exuberant music,” says Mondel. Much of it is included in the category of “Marian music,” which celebrates the Virgin Mary. Eya’s site describes “Natus est Rex” as a “sublime musical journey exploring the mystery, wonder and joy of the nativity…a wealth of gorgeous repertoire from England, Italy, France and Spain.”

Listening to this type of music in the soaring confines of St. Paul’s is a spiritual experience, she says. “You hear the sonorities, the vocal purity, the blend of voices. It touches people,” Mondel says, “and brings them to a place where they can touch beauty. That is different for each individual listening.” The audience is an integral part of each performance as well, she notes, remarking on the “energy exchange” that takes place between performers and audience members. This particular year, Mondel says, there’s even more need for a time to “hit the brakes,” and experience a program that offers a “deeply peaceful and connected experience for the season.” “Come and listen,” she says, “and be restored.”

Eya: Ensemble for Medieval Music “Natus est Rex” 7:30 p.m., Tuesday, December 13 St. Paul’s Episcopal Church 305 W. 7th Street (downtown) $20 general, $15 seniors, $10 students (423) 266-8195, stpaulschatt.org

THU12.8 Christmas Underground

Come discover Joystone, a rare gemstone that helps spread the spirit of Christmas! Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 800-0566 rubyfalls.com

FRI12.9 Miracle on 34th Street

Popular holiday musical based on the 1947 film where Kris Kringle takes on the cynics and wins. 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com

SAT12.10 A Christmas Tail 5K and Mutt Strut

Bring your pooches or just yourself for a Humane Eductaional Society benefit. 9 a.m. St. Elmo Pet Wellness Center 3812 Tennessee Ave. (423) 624-5302 heschatt.com

ALL NEW. ALL FOR YOU.

ChattanoogaHasCars.com THE TENNESSEE VALLEY’S MOST POWERFUL AUTOMOTIVE SHOPPING TOOL CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 15

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Hunter Museum Holiday Celebration

THURSDAY12.8 Christmas Underground Noon Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 800-0566 rubyfalls.com Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m. Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com St. Elmo Farmers Market 4 p.m. Incline Railway 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Homebuyer Orientation 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Neighborhood Enterprise 1500 Chestnut St. #102 (423) 756-6201 cneinc.org North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:45 p.m. Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com Hunter Museum Holiday Celebration 6 p.m.

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The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Cinematics: Generation Startup 6 p.m. The Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 643-6770 theedney.com Ladybirds: Detecting Defensive Chemicals 7 p.m. Chattanooga Brewing Company 1804 Chestnut St. (423) 702-9958 chattabrew.com Frank Del Pizzo 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233

thecomedycatch.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m. Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

FRIDAY12.9 Meet Author William Lee White 10 a.m. Chickamauga & Chattanooga National Military Park 3370 Lafayette Rd. Fort Oglethorpe, GA nps.gov/chch 3rd Street Farmers Market 10:30 a.m. Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. lookoutfarmersmarket.com

PULSE SPOTLIGHT: FRANK DEL PIZZO Frank Del Pizzo is a breath of fresh air in a business that is full of hot air. He makes people laugh with his true to life stories and attitude, all in a clean style. Frank Del Pizzo The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Christmas Underground Noon Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 800-0566 rubyfalls.com Holiday Lights 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:45 p.m. Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com A Christmas Carol 7:30 p.m. Midtown Central 911 Eastgate Loop (423) 602-8640 Frank Del Pizzo 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Miracle on 34th Street 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com The Nutcracker by Chattanooga Ballet 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 265-0617 chattanoogaballet.net Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m.

THe pulSe X

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chaTTanoogaPulse.com december 12-18, 2013 • The Pulse••17 THE PULSE • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • DECEMBER 8,• 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM 17

2016

Holiday

Shopping Guide

Holiday gift ideas from around the city and around the world Sid Meier’s Civilization VI is the next entry in the award-winning Civilization franchise. Become Ruler of the World by establishing and leading a civilization from the Stone Age to the Information Age. Wage war, conduct diplomacy, advance your culture, and go head-tohead with history’s greatest leaders as you attempt to build the greatest civilization the world has ever known. $59.99, civilization.com

The news that humanity had been dreading for ages had come true. Zombies are real. Worst of all, we created them. The apocalypse was upon us, and every man, woman and child had to answer a simple question of themselves: “What do we do now?” Black Tide Rising continues the epic tale of survival created by New York Times bestselling author (and Chattanooga resident) John Ringo with a collection of short stories from a who-who’s of today’s best science fiction writers, co-edited by The Pulse’s own Gary Poole (shameless plug). $16, amazon.com

18 • THE PULSE • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Enjoy the thrill of flight as you speed through the air with the DJI Phantom 3 Standard Drone. Powerful, responsive motors send your Phantom soaring exactly on the path you want. Stop in place, speed up, or fly higher in an instant. Fly with absolute freedom and confidence, knowing your Phantom 3 Standard will return to you at the press of a button. $499, dji.com These days, even geeks like to work out—and work out fanatics can admit to their love of Star Trek. The Star Trek Classic Uniform Rashguard combines both loves together. Perfect for repelling nasty bacteria, these rash guards have a tight compression fit and make it tough for your opponent to grab you. They are also great for wicking moisture away from the body, and will dry very quickly. $59.99, bodybuilding.com

Savor the subtle satisfaction of a fine single malt with these Scotch Infused Toothpicks. They feature a barrel-aged, Islay single malt made by a 200-year-old distillery for a distinctively smoky flavor with notes of peat and complex caramel. $36, uncommongoods.com

For the tea lover, Hand-Blended Loose Teas, ideal for bringing comfort to the mind, body and soul make the perfect gift. Each brings the finest blend of herbs, spices and fruits and is sure to become your go-to brew each and every day. $7.99 to $12.99 The Galleries on Williams Street, 1403 Williams Street

THE PULSE • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 19

Holiday

Shopping Guide

All food comes in different shapes and sizes. So how do you get any size slice you like? The Breville Sous Chef food processor features an extrawide feed chute cuts longer slices and makes processing faster and easier. Gone are the days of having to chop potatoes into little pieces to fit into the chute. And it comes with a 25-year motor guarantee. $399.95, brevilleusa.com

The Amazon Echo is a handsfree speaker you control with your voice. Echo connects to the Alexa Voice Service to play music, provide information, news, sports scores, weather, and more— instantly. All you have to do is ask. Echo has seven microphones and beam forming technology so it can hear you from across the room—even while music is playing. $179.99, amazon.com

Brimming with sweet and savory gourmet goodies, the Golden Delights Gift Basket overflows with candy, confections and snacks that will delight anyone on your list. Packaged in a beautifully woven basket, it includes biscotti, Ghirardelli chocolates, hot cocoa mix, honey cinnamon almonds, cookies, crisps, cheese and more—complete with gold ribbon accents and a complimentary cheese knife. $79.99, worldmarket.com

20 • THE PULSE • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Nothing says the “spirit” of the season better than Chattanooga Whiskey gift baskets for your favorite whiskey enthusiast! Includes 375ml bottles of award-winning 1816 Reserve and 1816 Cask, along with a selection of Chatt Whiskey gear including flasks, rocks glasses, Dr. Thacher’s cocktail syrups…the options are endless! Customizable, with prices ranging from $46-$63! Stop by the Tennessee Stillhouse today to check your luckiest recipient off of your list.

For the cyclist on your holiday gift list, Bell’s Draft MIPS Bike Helmet has a rounded, compact profile, MultiDirectional Impact Protection System (MIPS) technology for extra protection and one-handed ErgoDial fit adjustment. The MIPS inside the helmet is designed to reduce rotational forces that can result from certain impacts, and is sized for both men and women. $29.99, sierratradingpost.com

If you’ve been anywhere near the internet the past year, chances are you’ve seen the ridiculously entertaining YouTube video for the Squatty Potty. And guess what? They weren’t lying: it really does work. And that’s all we’re going to say about it. $29, squattypotty.com

With twice the suction of any robot vacuum, the Dyson 360 Eye robot is a powerful vacuum cleaner with the Dyson digital motor V2 inside to deliver powerful suction and Radial Root cyclone technology to capture microscopic dust and dirt. $999.99, dyson.com

THE PULSE • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 21

Holiday

Can’t figure out the perfect book, CD or game for that hard to shop for person on your list? Problem solved! Get them a McKay’s Gift Certificate, good for anything in Chattanooga’s largest used books and more store. Get them online at mckaybooks.com or pick one up in person in the store at 7734 Lee Highway.

Shopping Guide

Ladies, we know what you’ll be doing tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that. Show the world how you kick ass and take names with this heavy-duty Wake Up Kick Ass Tank, perfect for the gym or anywhere else you want to show ’em how it’s done. $19.99, bodybuilding.com

Add panache to the powder room or create an elegant bar with this functional and decorative clear Glass and Leather Wide Decanter. Each bottle features a leather collar bound by brass brads. This is where you keep the really good stuff. $120, consort-design.com

22 • THE PULSE • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

The Hot Chocolatier’s Original Dark Sipping Chocolate features 55% ground dark chocolate for a rich European-style sipping chocolate experience. The “Hottie” Sipping Chocolate turns up the heat with ancho, chipotle, and cayenne peppers blended into the same rich dark chocolate used in the Original Dark version. The Hot Chocolatier’s 15 ounce mug is the perfect size to enjoy either version. $10 sipping chocolates, $9 mugs The Hot Chocolatier, 1437 Market Street

Now in convenient, travel-friendly roller form, Herbivore’s Lapis Facial Oil Roller is without a doubt the most gorgeous, luxurious breakout/troubled or combination skin treatment ever. This ultra-soothing, anti-inflammatory skin solution gets its name from the Egyptian gemstone lapis lazuli, and its color from precious blue tansy oil made with azulene, a powerful anti-inflammatory/antibacterial compound that reduces redness and clarifies skin. $26, goop.com

it’s like a chia pet for your wall. The Luludi Living Art Moss Wall Garden contains an array of mood and reindeer moss with dried green hanging amaranthus inside a wood frame. A miniature landscape with gentle rolling hills of moss that beckon and soothe you, while its subtle shades of green evoke simplicity and peacefulness. $599, ahalife.com

Celebrity chef Alton Brown has finally gotten around to writing a new book. Alton Brown: EveryDayCook is his most personal collection, with plenty of the science you’ve come to expect along with some “pretty darned tasty” the recipes, which are arranged by time of day and illustrated with photos taken by Alton on his iPhone. $23, amazon.com THE PULSE • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 23

24 • THE PULSE • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

The Nutcracker by Chattanooga Ballet Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

SATURDAY12.10 A Christmas Tail 5K and Mutt Strut 9 a.m. St. Elmo Pet Wellness Center 3812 Tennessee Ave. (423) 624-5302 heschatt.com Chickamauga Christmas in the Streets 10 a.m. Historical Downtown Chickamauga 111 Gordon St. (423) 710-0754 Chattanooga Holiday Market 10 a.m. Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 Northside Farmers Market 10 am. Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 St. Alban’s Hixson Market 10 a.m. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 Christmas Underground

Noon Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 800-0566 rubyfalls.com Day of the Legs 2 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Santa Claus Pub Crawl 3 p.m. Downtown Chattanooga (423) 400-4496 chattacrawl.squarespace.com Cooking Local: Holiday Fare Workshop 3 p.m. Crabtree Farms 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org Ed Tarkington Book Signing 3 p.m. Star Line Books 1467 Market St. (423) 777-5629 starlinebooks.com North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:45 p.m. Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com A Christmas Carol 7:30 p.m. Midtown Central 911 Eastgate Loop (423) 602-8640 Frank Del Pizzo 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch

1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Miracle on 34th Street 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com The Nutcracker by Chattanooga Ballet 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 265-0617 chattanoogaballet.net Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m. Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

SUNDAY12.11 Chattanooga Holiday Market 11 a.m. Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com Christmas Underground Noon Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 800-0566 rubyfalls.com Holiday Wreath Making 1 p.m. Crabtree Farms 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org

Jazzanooga One Year Celebration Brunch 1:30 p.m. Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 653-9434 jazzanooga.org The Nutcracker by Chattanooga Ballet 2, 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 265-0617 chattanoogaballet.net A Charlie Brown Christmas 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com A Christmas Carol 2:30 p.m. Midtown Central 911 Eastgate Loop (423) 602-8640 North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:45 p.m. Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com Frank Del Pizzo 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m. Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 25

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR Morgnethau

MONDAY12.12 Red Bank Farmers Market 4 p.m. Red Bank United Methodist 3800 Dayton Blvd. lookoutfarmersmarket.com North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:45 p.m. Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m. Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com ComedyFight 10 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com

TUESDAY12.13 East Brainerd Farmers Market 4 p.m. Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:45 p.m. Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m. Rock City

26 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

WEDNESDAY12.14 Main Street Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:45 p.m. Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com Wednesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m. Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Morgenthau 7 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Open Mic Comedy 8 p.m. JJ's Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m. Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.comw Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

FOOD & DRINK ∙ MIXOLOGY

Here We Come A-Wassailing How to drink the holidays like a native—of somewhere else By Stephanie Smith Pulse contributor

HE DECEMBER HOLIDAY SEASON is celebrated in most countries around the world. Though the languages are different and the festivities have a cultural spin unique to their countries, the spirits still flow. Traditional beverages are comforting and familiar, making the season merry and bright for those who can’t be at home or who want to remember the past and pass on these recipes to others. For Americans, Christmas in a foreign country may be something few will experience, but that doesn’t mean we can’t toast like the natives do with a few simple recipes. Wassail is a hot mulled cider that remains the favorite holiday beverage in England. “Wassailing” is an Anglo-Saxon word meaning “be in good health.” Traditionally, it involves going door to door singing Christmas carols. While the exact origins of the practice are not known and it is a rare practice today, in general it is like the American holiday of Halloween. The carolers ask for “figgy pudding” and “good cheer” (food and wine) and they “won’t go until they get some!” The beverage served to the carolers became known as Wassail. In Scandinavian countries—Norway, Finland, Sweden, Denmark—a similar recipe of mulled cider is known as “glogg” is served. The Christmas punch from Mexico, Ponche Navideno, is often sold by street vendors during the holiday season. The combination of flavors varies from recipe to recipe, but always includes sugar cane, apples, pears, citrus and dried fruits, including the native tejocotes. Adult versions add tequila or rum, pack-

“Wassailing” is an Anglo-Saxon word meaning “be in good health.” Traditionally, it involves going door to door singing Christmas carols. ing a punch to both warm your stomach and possibly make you settle in for a long winter’s nap. In the warmer climates, cold holiday drinks are the norm. In Chile, natives ask for a Cola de Mono or “monkey’s tail.” Similar to eggnog in texture, the drink is served over ice and is a combination of milk, coffee, vanilla bean, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. The local alcohol is aguardiente, but you can substitute rum or brandy as you prefer. On the tropi-

cal beaches of Jamaica, locals sip sorrel punch, which features sorrel or the petals of a type of hibiscus flower (not the bitter, green American plant). Combined with sugar, fresh ginger, lime juice and rum, this beverage is light and refreshing and a treat all on its own. And finally, in Puerto Rico, you will find perhaps the richest of all the holiday beverages (with the possible exception of the Canadian and American eggnogs): the Coquito. This local “eggnog” has

spiced rum, vanilla, warming spices (like cinnamon and nutmeg), and—here’s where the calories kick in—both condensed milk and coconut milk. Served chilled it is a satisfying tropical end to any meal. Enjoy and happy holidays! Coquito (Puerto Rican Eggnog) (courtesy of food.com) • 2 cans coconut cream • 1 can sweetened condensed milk • 1 can evaporated milk • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract • 1/2 cup rum • 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon • 1 tablespoon ground nutmeg Blend ingredients in blender for five minutes, refrigerate, then serve cold. Serves 4-6 people.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 27

MUSIC

Not Your Regular Holiday Celebration Minstrel Krampus/Krampusnacht at JJ’s Bohemia with Subterranean Cirqus on Friday, December 16th

Jazzanooga’s One Year Celebration Believe it or not, Jazzanooga has been shaking things up at their historic MLK Blvd. location, the Jazzanooga Arts Space, for the last year. They’ve used the space to “further the organization’s mission of cultural preservation, performance, and music education in Chattanooga” and more than 75 programs and events have taken place in Jazzanooga’s space since their doors opened in December of 2015. And to celebrate this incredible feat, they’ve planned a weekend filled with exciting musical acts featuring local and regional performers. Pick a performance you’d like to hear or pick a night and surprise yourself with that night’s act. Thursday will feature Chattanooga Creative Center for the Arts’ music students under the direction of Neshawn Calloway, while Friday and Saturday will host the NightCap Series, with Jermaine Purifory and Robin Grant performing respectively. Or perhaps you’d prefer Sunday’s Jam & Soul Brunch featuring a performance by Nancy Westmoreland. As a bonus treat at each show, the students from Jazzanooga’s Youth Music Academy will serve as the opening act for every performance. The events will be ‘pay as you go admission’, meaning any financial contribution given is immensely appreciated and will directly benefit Jazzanooga’s community arts programming efforts. Choose an event or experience them all and know you’re helping your local arts community with every dollar you donate. — Brooke Brown Jazzanooga's One Year Celebration Thursday through Sunday Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 East MLK Boulevard (423) 402-0452 www.jazzanooga.org/arts-space 28 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

HE HOLIDAY SEASON IS UPON US. Time once again to strive, for at least a little while, to be nicer to each other and maybe indulge in a little extra consumerism too. It’s a time of year rife with customs and traditions, none of which are remotely as homogenous as some folk like to believe, but that’s an article for another time when my life insurance is paid up. In recent years there has emerged a “new” tradition, by which I mean a very old one that has been rediscovered. As recently as ten years ago, “Krampus” was, in these parts anyway, little more than a bit of obscure trivia. It was neat if you knew it, no big deal if you didn’t.

Slowly the tradition of the Germanic man/goat/ demon (not to be confused with the significantly modern man/bear/pig) began to reappear in pop culture, a sort of anti-Santa who punishes wicked children while St. Nick rewards the good. The Krampus was a central character in the 2004 Venture Brothers Christmas Special and last year even had his own feature film, receiving generally positive reviews. On a local level, no one has done nearly as much to reinvigorate the Krampus tradition as those lovable kids known collectively as the Subterranean Cirqus/River City Rumpus. Yes, Pinkie, The Princess of Pain and Lazarus Beefsquatch Hellgate, both known for their sunny dispositions in much the same way as Jeffrey Dahlmer was known for his culinary expertise, have been Krampus advocates since way before

MUSIC

“Slowly the tradition of the Germanic man/goat/demon began to reappear in pop culture, a sort of anti-Santa who punishes wicked children while St. Nick rewards the good.” it was cool. To that end they have crafted an annual Krampusnacht celebration (Laz calls it Twisted Christmas) featuring an array of gifted performers and assorted weirdoes. On Friday, December 16th, JJ’s Bohemia will open its doors to all manner of Krampusnacht revelers as the Cirqus kids welcome old friend Titano, the World Record holding strongman from Philadelphia (as seen on National Geographic’s Oddities). What better way to say “Merry Krampusnacht” than with a gorgeous pair of traveling burlesque clowns from planet “How the Hell Do They Do That”? The babes of Thunder Snow Cone return to the Scenic City with a special Christmas-themed performance guaranteed to give Great Aunt Beulah a heart-attack; somewhat terrifying, genuinely arousing. The evening opens with our own hometown heroes, the Subterranean Cirqus folding, spindling and mutilating as only they can. The evening’s

soundtrack will be provided by none other than Genki Genki Panic, the perfect band for the event. In fact, the collusion between GGP and Sub Cirqus is, and I’m sure Hellgate would agree with me here, a breath-taking stroke of genius on someone’s part. That person probably deserves and award of some sort. Strange kids and spooky tunes belong together. There will be a special appearance by “interdimensional goat demon” Wohglemut, comedy, public airing of grievances, possibly pubic airing of grievances, and all the high weirdness you’ve come to expect from Chattanooga’s Royal couple of the bizarre. This is emphatically a 21+ show and costumes, while not required, are encouraged as there is a costume contest that evening, the winner to receive tickets to JJ’s New Year’s Eve celebration and a limited edition custom designed enamel Krampus pin. Admission is $10.

Sam Killed the Bear Rocks Out Sam Killed the Bear has released a new single from their upcoming EP, available now for your sonic perusal at the band’s website (samkilledthebear.com) The tune is “Are We Alone?” and this being my first time hearing the band, all I can say is once again I am blown away by how much quality music is being produced in Chattanooga. I’m not going to dwell too much on the song itself here, not yet anyway, but I will say that it hearkens back to the blistering guitar driven radio rock of the early to mid-nineties (when radio rock was a very good thing.) I like to listen to a band first before delving in to their bio or “about us” comments so that I can draw my own conclusions without the influence of what the band *wants* me to hear. In this case, I think I could have written the band’s bio almost word for word based off what I hear in their original music. Smashing Pumpkins, Incubus, Weezer, Franz Ferdinand, Modest Mouse…the influences are all there and the music takes me back to that era. The EP itself isn’t scheduled for release until March 1st at JJ’s Bohemia, and while that seems like a long way off to be talking about it now, there’s a reason. Sam Killed the Bear, along with Antler Hopkins, is kicking off a short tour (The March Down South)

with that release and is offering a unique promotion. For $100, you can join the band on the tour with all expenses (besides food) covered in that low, low price. Travel from TN to GA and on down to the coast where the tour culminates in an open jam beach party in sunny old Florida. Travel, lodging and entry to the shows as well as a commemorative “I was there” tshirt are part of the package. Simply put, this is one of the cleverest promotions I’ve heard of, and I’m telling you now because there is a very limited amount of space available. You need to make a $50 deposit by February to reserve your space. Kids, you can’t buy a bus ticket to the beach for $100, yet here is an opportunity to travel from show to show with a thoroughly kick ass band and dip your toes in the Atlantic when it’s all said and done. Head over to their webpage, listen to their music, then make the right decision! — Marc. T. Michael

THU12.8

FRI12.9

SAT12.10

Bluegrass Thursdays

Kenny George Band

JJs 10x10

The weekly gathering of bluegrass pickers and fans of roots music is a must visit for all fans of Appalachian music and more. 7:30 p.m. Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com

The heartfelt songwriting, beautiful musicianship and southern feel drum up thoughts of Ryan Adams & Whiskeytown. 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

Ten bands, ten bucks: what more can you ask for? Just be sure to get there early as it kicks off at 5 p.m. and the place will be packed. 5 p.m. JJ's Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 29

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Will Hoge

THURSDAY12.8 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m. St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing Blues Jazz N’ Friends 6 p.m. Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Chattanooga Center for Creative Arts Vocal Group 6 p.m. Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd. jazzanooga.org Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m. Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m. Motley's 320 Emberson Dr. Ringgold, GA (706) 260-8404 Granger Smith 7 p.m. Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m. Feed Co. Table & Tavern

30 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m. Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m. The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Cycles 9 p.m. JJ's Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

FRIDAY12.9 Eddie Pontiac 6 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Tim Lewis 7 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com

SPOTLIGHT: MONDAY NIGHT SOCIAL Known for their melodic blend of influences ranging from folk to blues with hints of bluegrass and pop, Monday Night Social is a band poised to make their mark. Monday Night Social Saturday, 12:30 p.m. Holiday Market 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

Jermaine Purifory 7:30 p.m. Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd. jazzanooga.org Jam Session Nights: Woodmore Benefit 8 p.m. The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Instant Replay 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Will Hoge with Webb Baringer and Elise Davis 9 p.m. The Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co WAXFANG, Elkmilk 9 p.m. JJ's Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com xxx 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Erin Powers, Kirk Fleta, PJ Steelman 9 p.m. Ziggy's Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Jon Scott 9 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery and Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Roots of a Rebellion Kenny George Band 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Stevie Monce 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY12.10 Monday Night Social 12:30 p.m. Convention Center 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Christmas Concert 4 p.m. Collegedale Church of Seventh-day Adventists 4829 College Drive East southern.edu JJs 10x10 with Superbody, Kerchief, Waterfall Wash, Caney Village, Side Affect, Sweet G.A. Brown, Lon Eldridge, Sad Baxter, Cutlass Cult 5 p.m. JJ's Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Eddie Pontiac 6 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd.

elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Tim Lewis 7 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Robin Grant 7:30 p.m. Jazzanooga Arts Space 431 E. MLK Blvd. jazzanooga.org Mosura, Thousand Pound Pig, Armed Chaos, Cortical Endeavor 8 p.m. Ziggy's Bar & Grill 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Instant Replay 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Shawnessy Cargile 9 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery and Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Zoso: The Ultimate Led Zeppelin Experience 9:30 p.m. The Revelry Room

41 Station St. revelryroom.co Roots of a Rebellion with Tropidelic 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com xxx 10 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Stevie Monce 10 p.m. Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY12.11 Raven and Red 11 a.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Josh Gilbert 12:30 p.m. Convention Center 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Nick Lutsko 1 p.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Lou Wamp & Swing Shift 2 p.m.

Convention Center 1150 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Mid-South Symphonic Band Holiday Concert 3 p.m. Ringgold High School Performing Arts Center 29 Tiger Trail Ringgold, GA midsouthsymphonicband.org New Generation Youth Choir Christmas Concert 4 p.m. Hawkinsville Missionay Baptist Church 7463 Pinewood Dr. (423) 892-1924 Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m. Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775

MONDAY12.12 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic 8 p.m. The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com Open Mic Night 6 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 31

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

St. Paul and the Broken Bones The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com

TUESDAY12.13 Tom Cordell Trumpet Improv Ensemble 6 p.m. Spring Hill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m. Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com A Medieval Candlelight Christmas 7:30 p.m. St. Paul's Episcopal Church 305 W. 7th St. (423) 266-8195 Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

WEDNESDAY12.14 Charley Yates 5 p.m. American Legion Post #95 3329 ringgold Rd. americanlegionpost95.org Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com No Big Deal 6 p.m.

32 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Spring Hill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Joel Clyde 8 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m. Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Ben Friberg Trio 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Bethany Grace 8 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com St. Paul and the Broken Bones, Cicada Rhythm 9 p.m. Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Track 29 Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ERNIE PAIK

Big Star Complete Third, Alan Courtis and Cyrus Pireh Coils on Malbec

Big Star Complete Third (Omnivore)

fter two stellar power-pop albums that would prove to be highly influential, the Memphis band Big Star was down to frontman Alex Chilton and drummer Jody Stephens, having lost Chris Bell and Andy Hummel along the way. In late 1974 and early 1975, the group’s third masterpiece Third (a.k.a. Sister Lovers) was created, despite conscious attempts by Chilton to “wreak havoc” (according to producer Jim Dickinson) on certain sessions, which reveal themselves on songs like “Kangaroo,” a distinctively peculiar and deceptively bleak-sounding love song that feels like it’s going to self-destruct. Emotions swing wildly; there’s the reverb-drenched, bleary-eyed “Big Black Car,” the profoundly depressing “Holocaust,” the flamboyant rock-stomper “You Can’t Have Me” and the spry “Stroke It Noel” enhanced with nimble strings. Third has had a strange history. Chilton didn’t really

consider it to be a Big Star album, and numerous versions of the album exist with varying tracks and sequences. This writer’s opinion is that, by a wide margin, the best version of Third is the 14-track sequence (skip the bonus tracks) released by Rykodisc in 1992, and that’s honestly good enough for most Big Star fans. For the superfan, who just can’t get enough, there’s the 69-track, 3-CD set Complete Third; it offers 29 previously unreleased recordings from the Third sessions and is split into three volumes to break down the process of creation: “Demos to Sessions to Roughs,” “Roughs to Demos,” and “Final Masters.” Fans may be tickled by the curiosities, including the covers of the Beatles’ “I’m So Tired,” the Beach Boys’ “Don’t Worry Baby” and the Velvet Underground’s “After Hours” sung by Chilton’s girlfriend, Lesa Aldridge. If anything is illuminating about Complete Third, it’s the presence of Aldridge, which was minimized for the final album; a case could be made that she was more than merely a muse. Third is such a nearly flawless, endlessly replayable album (the Rykodisc version, that is) that it’s odd to hear it in states that aren’t so perfect, and the sequence presented on the “Final Masters” disc doesn’t do the album justice.

This writer is glad this exists as an archival document, but although it may be the “complete” Third, it’s not the best Third.

Alan Courtis and Cyrus Pireh Coils on Malbec (Shinkoyo)

here’s a great temptation for musicians to cultivate a gear fetish and to collect or covet fancy and expensive instruments, sound processing devices and recording equipment. However, as the musicians Alan Courtis and Cyrus Pireh point out, with regards to their new, collaborative album Coils on Malbec, “There is already music all around us.” To create Coils on Malbec, released digitally and on wine-colored vinyl, Courtis and Pireh used coils to receive electromagnetic vibrations that were surrounding them in the air. The duo connected these coils together in a shallow bowl of Argentinian Malbec wine to make unusual sounds and then processed and edited the sounds together to make two long tracks.

The first piece “Coils on Malbec” features incessant wispy sounds and doleful hums, evoking rushing river rapids with chunks of sharp ice, plus the sounds of electronic circuits disconnecting, looped methodically with persistence. This writer favors the second track, “Malbec on Coils,” which offers a disturbing rumble and a whistling noise, which resembles a synthetic avalanche that could be a compelling film score; in the middle of the track, the sound drops out abruptly, leading to soft, bristling static sounds. Alan Courtis, also known as Anla Courtis, is a prolific Argentinian musician known for daring, non-traditional sound-making methods who gained notoriety for his work in the extremely bizarre and uncategorizable outfit Reynols. Cyrus Pireh, from Illinois, despite having graduate degrees in music composition, considers himself an anarchist and strives to take apart the hierarchy in both society and music. Together, they have taken this premise to pluck vibrations from thin air and douse circuits in wine to create unsettling soundtracks. Would the project have sounded less interesting if it didn’t have this unique method behind it? Maybe so, but even with a revealed process, the difficult sounds themselves provide enough intrigue. CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 33

34 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY two Australian blokes launched a quest to tip a drink at every pub in Melbourne. Thirty-two years later, Mick Stevens and Stuart MacArthur finally accomplished their goal when they sipped beers at The Clyde. It was the 476th establishment on their list. The coming weeks will be a highly favorable time to plan an epic adventure of your own, Aquarius. I hope and pray, though, that you will make it more sacred and meaningful than Stevens’ and MacArthur’s trivial mission.

ROB BREZSNY SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The awesome splendor of the universe is much easier to deal with if you think of it as a series of small chunks,” wrote novelist Terry Pratchett. That’s true enough, but I’ll add a caveat: Now and then the trickle of small chunks of awesome splendor gives way to a surge of really big chunks. According to my astrological analysis, that’s either already happening for you, or else is about to happen. Can you handle it? I’m sure you’ve noticed that some people are unskilled at welcoming such glory; they prefer to keep their lives tidy and tiny. They may even get stressed out by their good fortune. I trust you’re not one of these fainthearted souls. I hope you will summon the grace you’ll need to make spirited use of the onslaught of magnificence. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In his book The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, John Koenig coins words to describe previously unnamed feelings. I suspect you may have experienced a few of them recently. One is “monachopsis,” defined as “the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.” Then there’s “altschmerz,” meaning “weariness with the same old issues you’ve always had.” Another obscure sorrow you might recognize is “nodus tollens,” or “the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense anymore.” Now I’ll tell you two of Koenig’s more uplifting terms, which I bet you’ll feel as you claw your way free of the morass. First, there’s “liberosis”: caring less about unimportant things; relaxing your grip so you can hold your life loosely and playfully. Second, there’s “flashover,” that moment when conversations become “real and alive, which occurs when a spark of trust shorts out the delicate circuits you keep insulated under layers of irony.” AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1983,

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): For three seasons of the year—spring, summer, and fall—a certain weasel species has brown fur. During that time, it’s known as a stoat. When winter arrives, the creature’s coat turns to white. Its name changes, too. We call it an ermine. The next spring, it once again becomes a stoat. Given the nature of the astrological omens, Pisces, I think it would make poetic sense for you to borrow this strategy. What would you like your nickname to be during the next three months? Here are a few suggestions: Sweet Sorcerer; Secret Freedom-Seeker; Lost-and-Found Specialist; Mystery Maker; Resurrector. ARIES (March 21-April 19): Normally I cheer you on when you devote single-minded attention to pressing concerns, even if you become a bit obsessive. But right now, in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to run wild and free as you sample lavish variety. It’s prime time to survey a spectrum of spicy, shiny, and feisty possibilities…to entertain a host of ticklish riddles rather than to insist on prosaic answers. You have been authorized by the cosmos to fabricate your own temporary religion of playing around and messing around and fooling around. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus poet Adrienne Rich described “an honorable human relationship” as “one in which two people have the right to use the word ‘love.’” How is that right earned? How is such a bond nurtured? Rich said it was “often terrifying to both persons involved,” because it’s “a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.” I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because you’re in a favorable phase to become an even more honorable lover, friend, and ally than you already are. To take advantage of the opportunity, explore this question: How can you supercharge and purify your ability to speak and hear the truth?

Homework: Imagine it’s many years from now. As you look back on your life, what adventure do you regret not trying? Truthrooster@gmail.com GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In Goethe’s play Faust, the hero bemoans his lack of inner unity. Two different souls live within him, he says, and they don’t cooperate. Even worse, they each try to rule him without consulting the other. I’m guessing you’ve experienced a more manageable version of that split during the course of your life. Lately, though, it may have grown more intense and divisive. If that’s true, I think it’s a good sign. It portends the possibility that healing is in the works…that energy is building for a novel synthesis. To help make it happen, identify and celebrate what your two sides have in common.

she confesses in one poem. “Never mind that I had to, since somebody had to. That was many years ago.” I bet that even at her current age of 81, Oliver is still refining and deepening her self-love. Neither she nor you will ever be finished with this grand and grueling project. Luckily for you both, now is a time when Virgos can and should make plucky progress in the ongoing work. (P.S.: And this is an essential practice if you want to keep refining and deepening your love for others.)

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The poet Dick Allen described Zen Buddhism as being “so filled with paradoxes that it jumps through hoops that aren’t even there.” I’m tempted to apply this description to the way you’ve been living your life recently. While I can see how it may have entertained you to engage in such glamorous intrigue, I’m hoping you will stop. There is no longer anything to be gained by the complicated hocuspocus. But it’s fine for you to jump through actual hoops if doing so yields concrete benefits.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Most highquality suits worn by men are made from the wool of merino sheep raised in Australia. So says Nicholas Antongiavanni in his book The Suit: A Machiavellian Approach to Men’s Style. There are now more than 100 million members of this breed, but they are all descendants of just two rams and four ewes from 18th-century Spain. How did that happen? It’s a long story. (Read about it here: tinyurl.com/merinosheep.) For the oracular purposes of this horoscope, I’ll simply say that in the next nine months you’ll also have the potential to germinate a few choice seeds that could ultimately yield enormous, enduring results. Choose well!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): For decades, numerous self-help authors have claimed that humans use ten percent or less of their brain’s potential. But the truth is that our gray matter is far more active than that. The scientific evidence is now abundant. (See a summary here: tinyurl.com/ mindmyths.) I hope this helps spur you to destroy any limited assumptions you might have about your own brainpower, Leo. According to my astrological analysis, you could and should become significantly smarter in the next nine months -and wiser, too!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Five of my Scorpio acquaintances and 17 of my Scorpio readers have let me know that they’re actively seeking to make new alliances and strengthen their existing alliances. Does this mean that Scorpios everywhere are engaged in similar quests? I hope so. I would love to see you expand your network of like-minded souls. I would love for you to be ardent about recruiting more help and support. Happily, the current astrological omens favor such efforts. Hot tip: For best results, be receptive, inviting, and forthright.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Born under the sign of Virgo, Mary Oliver is America’s best-selling poet. She wasn’t an overnight sensation, but she did win a Pulitzer Prize when she was 49. “What I loved in the beginning, I think, was mostly myself,”

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

The List Breakfast By The Numbers

It's been said breakfast is the most important meal of the day, yet many Americans tend to skip the morning repast. Our friends at the Statistic Brain Institute compiled some stats about what we do—and do not— to start our day. • Percent of Americans who eat breakfast every day: 44% • Percent of breakfast skippers who are obese: 22% • Percent of Americans who believe breakfast is the most important meal: 93% • Percent of breakfast meals that include eggs: 12% • Percent of fast food sales that are breakfast meals: 21% • Percent of children who eat sweetened cereal for 1 or more breakfasts a week: 73% • Percent of parents who eat breakfast with their children: 79% • of those, Percent who ate breakfast at home: 59% • of those, Percent who ate breakfast at school: 31% So tomorrow morning, be sure to eat something. Anything. It's important to your health. Really. Source: www.statisticbrain.com/ breakfast-eating-statistics/

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 35

OPINIONS & DIVERSIONS

36 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 8, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES

“Ask Your Doctor”—these sound like legit meds. ACROSS 1 “Dracula” novelist Stoker 5 Rapper ___ Flocka Flame 9 Fundamental principle 14 Brain division 15 European auto brand 16 Desist’s companion 17 “Do you eat chocolate all day long? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.” 19 Address the crowd 20 Role-playing game in the “Elder Scrolls” series 21 “Do you say things that are selfcontradictory? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.” 23 Agcy. under Elaine Chao, once 25 Concert boosters 26 Some butter 29 “The Mikado” costume element 31 Greetings from Hawaii 35 Albany-toBuffalo canal 36 Important part of a news story that

might get “buried” 38 Hearten 39 Fish and chips fish 40 “Do you watch movies on ancient technology? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.” 42 News and opinion website since 2014 43 Brando’s Nebraska birthplace 45 Word before clock or glass 46 “Match Game” emcee Rayburn 47 Dressing places? 49 Brunch drink orders, maybe 50 Small bills 51 Bouncy 53 Ancient road to Rome 55 “Do you sit there and watch your fish swim around? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.” 59 AL East athlete 63 Fool’s cap wearer 64 “Do you wish you lived on a massive rock at the southern tip of Europe? Ask

your doctor if ___ is right for you.” 66 Mischievous pranks 67 “Garfield” drooler 68 Luxury rental 69 Packs (away) 70 Sloth and avarice, for two 71 “Raiders of the Lost Ark” creatures DOWN 1 Crunchy sandwiches 2 Corner piece 3 “Dear” advice columnist 4 Place of ‘90s TV 5 Hypothetical spacetime shortcut 6 Abbr. on military mail 7 Gambling game played with 80 balls 8 Amazon Echo’s voice service 9 Riboflavin’s group 10 Deodorant option 11 Coal valley in Germany 12 Math ratio words 13 Out in public 18 Frozen water, in Wittenberg 22 1950s singing star ___ Sumac

24 Encourages a felon 26 Bill of cowboy legend 27 Appetite stimulant 28 Music streaming service since 2014 30 State with an upright panhandle 32 Place of refuge 33 Make up (for) 34 Palindromic pair 37 Eggplant or smiley, e.g. 40 Reputation hurter 41 Available, as retail goods 44 Gets angry against Bart Simpson’s wishes 46 Silverback, for one 48 ___ Lanka 52 Often-mocked cars of the 1980s 54 A goal of NOW 55 Throws in 56 Give up 57 Rescind 58 Skirt length 60 ___ Day and the Knights (“Animal House” band) 61 Item on a bedside table 62 First asteroid landed on by a NASA craft 65 Bulk foods containe

Copyright © 2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 809 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 8, 2016 • THE PULSE • 37

COLUMN ∙ SUSHI & BISCUITS

The Beauty Of A Chocolate Salami Rest assured, this Portuguese holiday delight isn’t quite what it seems

Mike McJunkin Pulse columnist

UST LIKE EVERY RATIONAL HUman being with taste receptors and a functioning parietal lobe, I love chocolate. Milk chocolate, sweet chocolate, couverture, gianduja—I love it all. If there’s so much as a cacao nib in the house, I will search it out and make it mine. I feel exactly the same about salami. Whether it’s Genoa , Soppressata, Nduja or a simple Cotto salami, that intoxicating mix of cured meat and spices are impossible for me to resist. I’m not sure what I would do for a Klondike Bar, but I am certain I would do terrible, unspeakable things for a good salami. I lived my entire life in the comforting bosom of certainty that chocolate and salami would never share even a single strand of a Lahousse foodpairing, much less a place at my holiday table. There is no situation where those two wonders of the food world should ever meet in one dish—but then I made some Portuguese friends. The Portuguese love affair with pork is well known, so when Tânia and Jose walked through my door with a sausage-shaped package tied with string like a proper salami, an irrepressible Cheshire grin spread across my face. Before their coats were off I had already sliced the cured comestible in my mind and plotted what cheeses to pair with this unexpected holiday offering. “This is a special Portuguese holiday treat,” Tânia informed me. “Chocolate salami.” Chocolate salami. Time slowed to a molasses-like crawl as those words washed,

syllable by painful syllable, over my consciousness, turning my cheerful holiday dream of charcuterie delights into a misguided, fusion nightmare of Moreau-esque proportions. In the safety of my kitchen I unwrapped the package as Tânia explained that this Portuguese holiday bonne bouche was not a tortured mutation of cured meat and chocolate. In fact, there is no meat involved in this dessert at all. Chocolate salami gets its name from its appearance rather than its ingredients, which made my heart release an audible sigh of relief from within my chest. Salame de chocolate is a spectacularly delicious cylinder of rich chocolate flecked with broken cookies and nuts that give it its namesake, salami-like appearance. It’s less sweet and much less dense than a candy bar, with a texture that’s somewhere between chocolate fudge and cookie dough, and yet lighter than either. Salame de chocolate is shockingly easy to make. Simple enough for a kitchen amateur to create, but the finished product is impressive enough to make your friends think you’re been possessed by the spirit of Dominique Ansel. Happy holidays and bom appétit. Ingredients: • 1/4 cup slivered almonds • 1/4 cup slivered pistachios • 5 oz butter (or 10 tbsp) • 8 oz semisweet chocolate chips • 2 egg yolks • 2 tbsp cocoa powder • 6 tbsp white sugar • 7 oz of Maria cookies (or for a

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Southern touch use vanilla wafers) • 2 tbsp confectioner’s sugar • Waxed paper Directions: Preheat oven to 350 F. Spread out the almonds and pistachios on a baking sheet in a single layer and bake until lightly toasted— about 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and set aside. Add the butter, chocolate chips, eggs, cocoa powder, and sugar to a saucepan on medium heat and cook for 3-5 minutes, stirring well, until it becomes smooth and silky. Mix the chocolate mixture and toasted nuts together until smooth and even. Break the cookies into small, random-sized pieces and add to the chocolate mixture. Refrigerate the mixture for 15-20 minutes until it begins to harden, but can still be molded into a sausage shape. Place the mixture onto a sheet of waxed paper and form it into a thick, sausage-like shape. Roll the waxed paper tightly

around the mixture and twist the ends like it’s a party time at Willie Nelson’s. Roll the log on an even surface (like you’re making a PlayDoh snake) until it takes the form of a salami. Refrigerate for at least 3-4 hours. Remove the hardened chocolate salami from the refrigerator and unwrap, spreading the waxed paper out flat. Dust the waxed paper with the confectioner’s sugar and roll the salami around in the waxed paper to coat it with the sugar. Wrap the salami back up in the same, sugary waxed paper and place in the refrigerator. When you’re ready to serve, take it out of the fridge and slice off pieces as needed. To give as a gift, wrap with parchment paper and tie with twine like a proper salami (see YouTube for how to tie salami) Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan currently living abroad who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants. Join him on Facebook at facebook. com/SushiAndBiscuits

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