The Pulse 14.31 » August 3, 2017 by Brewer Media Group

VOL. 14, NO. 30 â&#x20AC;¢ AUGUST 3, 2017

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

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VOL. 14, NO. 31 • AUGUST 3, 2017

PENNY PINCHING FOR CHARITY HERE AT HOME

Thrifty shoppers know a bargain when they see one. Ask any penny pincher where to find the best deals and you repeatedly hear “resale shops.”

JASON BATEMAN SHINES IN OZARK’S GREY LENS

There are very few things I’ve seen Jason Bateman in that didn’t have me in stitches. He’s generally the dry sarcastic wit of a production that never fails to produce..

DREAMING OF MAGICAL CARDBOARD CREATIONS

One astounding fact about the creation of Wayne-O-Rama—the wildly imaginative and immersive tribute to local history designed by Chattanooga native Wayne White—is that over 300 volunteers shared their varied talents.

KANOPI BRINGS BACK OLD SCHOOL ACID ROCK

As a rule, I like to keep the features about local acts. Supporting the local scene is at the heart of everything I do here at The Pulse, but this week I’m going to stretch the borders a little and talk about a semi-local band, Kanopi.

ALSO INSIDE

Helping The Forgotten People On paper, Chattanooga’s accomplishment solving veteran homelessness doesn’t seem very impressive. And yet, the city’s accomplishment is a first in Tennessee. It took two years of work. In 2015, about 82 veterans slept under bridges and sought rest at the city’s emergency shelters, according to that year’s count.

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

CONSIDER THIS

MUSIC CALENDAR

SHRINK RAP

MUSIC REVIEWS

NEW IN THEATERS

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

ARTS CALENDAR

JONESIN' CROSSWORD

THE COMIX

ON THE BEAT

Daniel Jackson is an independent journalist working in the Chattanooga area. He studied Communications at Bryan College and covered national events at the Washington Times. Follow him on Twitter @jcksndnl

A lover of books, pizza, and all things happy, Assistant Editor Brooke Brown joined The Pulse in 2016 after she graduated from UTC with an English degree, leading her to an editorial position with her former intern family.

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BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE

Penny Pinching For Charity How you can help local charities simply by going shopping By Kevin Hale

Pulse contributor

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Adam Beckett • Rob Brezsny Kevin Hale • Daniel Jackson Matt Jones • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Michael Thomas Editorial Intern Lauren Waegele Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Jeff Camp Brittany Dreon • Rick Leavell Libby Phillips • John Rodriguez Danielle Swindell • Logan Vandergriff

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com Facebook @chattanoogapulse THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2017 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

HRIFT Y SHOPPERS KNOW A bargain when they see one. Ask any penny pincher where to find the best deals and you repeatedly hear “resale shops.” But all these stores are not created equal. While some shops do fine operating strictly for profit, some local charities rely greatly on resale stores for revenue. Chattanooga charities have been around as long as frugality finders. Chambliss Center for Children recently celebrated its 147th year in the area. But it was only 11 years ago the center decided to open a thrift store in Brainerd. “Our Brainerd store makes about $160,000 a year in revenue,” says Lesley Berryhill, Director of Communications for Chambliss Center. “These funds go directly to help the nearly 700 children we help every day in the area. Everything from 24hour childcare, extended childcare, foster and adoption services, and finally to help these young adults when they age out until they are 21. “ But beside the obvious benefits the thrift store provides, some bargain hunters look at resale store shopping as sport. “I get how it can be a hobby or addiction or whatever you want to call it,” jokes Berryhill. “Every time I go I leave with something.” Some shoppers may think of thrift stores or resale shops as cheap or unwanted goods, but they would be mistaken. “We get high-quality furniture and clothing on a daily basis,” says Brianne Lalor, Chief Development Officer for Northside Neighborhood House. “Our board and their network of friends are a tremendous help in helping keep the store stocked.” NNH is celebrating its 30th year of running a retail store on the North Shore and in that time they have developed quite a

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“You can go to a regular retail store and find 50 items that are exactly the same. Or you can come to one of our thrift stores and leave with a one-of-a-kind treasure.” following. “It’s a place to shop, vent and hangout,” says Lalor. “But it’s not just a thrift store. We build a relationship not only with our clients but with all the regulars who also come in.” NNH has been serving citizens north of the river since 1924, which includes adult supplemental education classes, a children’s education program and a teen program. While NNH has operated its store from the same location for decades, Partnership for Families, Children and Adults recently moved its store from Hixson to the MLK Neighborhood. PFCA is mainly known for their domestic violence and transitional living ser-

vices as well as the area’s only rape crisis center. “The revitalization of the area has really helped our new store in its first year,” says PFCA Retail Development Manager Allison Griffith. “We get a lot of foot traffic from all kinds of people in the area and sort of operate as a boutique more than a thrift store.” Griffith echoes Lalor’s sentiment in that she’s thankful for all the high-quality goods continuing to roll in. “You can go to a regular retail store and find 50 items that are exactly the same,” says Berryhill. “Or you can come to one of our thrift stores and leave with a one-of-akind treasure.”

Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon by Rob Rogers

“Come out of the masses. Stand alone like a Lion and live your life according your own Light.” —Osho

Finding Your Color Haven At The Color Carnival Have you ever wanted to just dress up in something outrageous, audacious, and vivacious? I know I have. If you crave color, fun, and the opportunity to support local businesses, then the Color Carnival is for you. This Saturday, Elea Blake Cosmetics is hosting their 20th anniversary birthday party color carnival to benefit Ballet Tennessee, a Chattanooga-based, high-caliber dance company that develops future artists. While Ballet Tennessee may be in the forefront of this awesome benefit party, Elea Blake Cosmetics is truly a huge

part of this color extravaganza. Twenty years ago, Darin Wright started Elea Blake Cosmetics, which is described as a “the place for eccentric individuals looking to find their own color haven.” Though the company started out small, this family-owned business

has become globally recognized because of its unique color-matching practices and high-quality makeup. Elea Blake isn’t just a makeup company. Elea Blake is an example of a small business making it big through hard work, creativity, and quality control. Elea Blake not only makes women all around the world find colors that enhance their lives, but it also uses its success to benefit those around it. Everyone needs some color in their lives. Join Elea Blake and Ballet Tennessee for a night of endless color. — Lauren Waegele

You’ve read many times in my columns the importance of being yourself. Learning to listen to your intuition, learning to trust it, and being true to who you truly are. If you are the black sheep with secrets, it may feel like a tremendous act of courage to do so. And it is. Yet, consider this your first intentional path toward sound self-esteem, inner strength and happiness. Until you are there, anxiety and depression will be your constant companions. The philosopher, Osho, encourages us in this direction. In his time, he was a controversial mystic, guru and spiritual teacher. Here’s another of his wise teachings: “The moment you accept yourself, you become beautiful.” May you learn to be exactly who you are, at any age, with any partner, and throughout all your self-discoveries. — Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

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COLUMN ∙ SHRINK RAP

Puppy Love And Feeling Good The good doctor on the healthy joys of playing just like a child

Dr. Rick

Pulse columnist

ICTURE THIS: A 50-SOMETHING man lying on the floor, playing with a rambunctious mongrel, assorted chew toys and balls scattered about. Wet licks are given freely. Friendly growls accompany head-lunges. Belly-pouncing is out of control. If you’re a dog lover, you think this is fun. If not, just picture the old “America’s Funniest Videos” and you’ll get it. I love my goofy Lily Pad, my five-year-old little rescue, even though I tease her about being “all fuselage and skinny legs.” She teases me too, believe me. Those toys aren’t left at my feet all slimy for nothin’. Lily Pad was taught by the best: my former goofball, Betty Lou, who recently crossed the rainbow bridge, after a long life of similar mayhem and unconditional love. How often do we, as adults, allow ourselves to play with childlike glee and silliness? I’m guessing not too often. I know I wouldn’t if it weren’t for La Lily. She has taught me a few things, and she makes my daily schedule much more fun. In fact, it’s become a priority around here to spend some time playing fetch each day; going for neighborhood walks; doling out generous doses of belly-scratching in between naps. And you know what I love about all that? It always makes me feel good. I know she loves it too, though I can’t help but think that I am the main recipient. I believe there are certain aspects to life that give our self-esteem a healthy shot in

the arm. For me, having fun with Lily is one of those aspects. And sure, the endorphins are flowing and that helps. But there are many opportunities in life to increase good feelings, and feeling good about ourselves. Surrounding ourselves with self-esteem “enhancers” is but one vital part of healthy self-care. See, we cannot only work, take care of the kids, tend to elderly parents, and tackle all the other obligations of a busy life, be they pleasant or burdensome. We also have to have fun. And I’m not referring to the once-a-year vacation you have to recuperate from. I mean daily fun that puts a smile on your face and warms your heart. Happiness that you feel from head to toe. Embarrassing, dance-like-nobody’swatching joy. Can you imagine creating that every day for yourself? When pondering the balance in your own life, consider the following: Freud suggested that love and work are all we need. How is your love life? Are you happily involved? Happily single? Something there you need to look at? How is your work life? Do you look forward to waking up with a sense of purpose to your day? You’re the only one who can choose to set your path in a new direction if desired. The Mind/Body/Spirit connection. Are you doing your best to take care of yourself physically? Are

“How often do we, as adults, allow ourselves to play with childlike glee and silliness? I’m guessing not too often.” you keeping your mind sharp with, for instance, stimulating conversations and good reading? What of your spiritual path? Whether you’re a church-goer, meditator, or tree-hugger, our Spirit within is what connects us all. Friendships. It’s a sure-fire sabotage of your relationship with your sig other to expect him/her to be your everything. And so we have friends. Some to confide in, some to laugh and cry with, some to discuss esotery with, some to pig out with … a happy life includes rewarding friendships. See, your priorities are totally up to you. You make the choices that allow for a week of healthy balance, a day of happiness, an hour that soothes the soul, a minute to exhale and connect. And with this awareness of balance you’ll find

that you’ll begin to de-stress and enjoy life more. It’s all up to you. Lily Pad has taught me some valuable lessons about the benefits of having fun … and for that, she can get all the belly-scratching she wants. Because when you feel good about your choices, you feel good about your life, and good about yourself. Besides, it’s summer. Go get some (proverbial) sand in your shorts. I will leave you with this traditional Mexican saying: Cada quien puede hacer de sus calzones un papalote. (Every man is entitled to make a kite from his pants!) Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com

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COVER STORY

By Daniel Jackson

Pulse contributor

N PAPER, CHATTANOOGA’S ACCOMPLISHment solving veteran homelessness doesn’t seem very impressive. And yet, the city’s accomplishment is a first in Tennessee. It took two years of work. In 2015, about 82 veterans slept under bridges and sought rest at the city’s emergency shelters, according to that year’s point in time count. The count is a nation-wide survey of homeless persons conducted in the dead of the January and mandated by the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD). Two years later in January 2017, the point in time count found 62 homeless veterans here. Thirty-one were living on the streets unsheltered. Twentythree spent the night in emergency housing. That’s out of the 584 homeless people the count recorded in the Chattanooga area that night. Truth of the matter, solving homelessness is devilishly hard. It can’t be solved by providing a few jobs. It’s not as simple as finding 82 shelters with a door, a roof and a place to lay a head back in 2015. Homelessness found more veterans in the meantime. Explore any other societal ill, homelessness very likely lurks near the end, for the issue touches on mental health policy, the ability to get affordable housing, education, domestic violence and substance abuse. Even the economy, the ability to keep a job that brings in a good, steady income. Lifting veterans from the streets Ending Veteran homeless has been

a major goal of federal agencies like the Veterans Administration, said Heather Hoffman, homeless program coordinator for the city. When Mayor Andy Berke announced that Chattanooga was going to tackle veteran homelessness, the city hired Hoffman, who came from the Chattanooga Area Food Bank. The deadline was tight. “You need to set a pretty tight deadline to get everyone scrambling and paying attention,” Hoffman said. And the goal was large. The city planned to house 184 veterans, to get ahead of the problem. The case work for those veterans became intense and focused. For years, the city and the area nonprofits had used a software to track the aid they gave individuals, to ensure resources are used effectively. But as the city and aid organizations learned of homeless veterans, they created a list of their names. Representatives of the organizations met weekly. First the group held

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meetings at the Chattanooga Regional Homeless Coalition. Later, the meetings moved to City Hall so that agencies like the VA could call into the meetings. Together, the groups focused on managing the by-name list, coordinating their care. In the meetings, representatives of the organizations asked what, say, Joe Veteran needed to do to get housing. He didn’t have an identification card. Could they get that to him by next week? What about getting transportation for this other veteran so he could get his medicine? They set goals to get to the next step in helping individual veterans, and the next. Case workers didn’t just call veterans, leaving messages asking them to check in. They canvassed the city, tracking veterans down—checking homeless camps, dropping by the community kitchen. One of the greatest challenges was finding enough affordable housing, housing that cost about $450 to $550 a month for a one-bedroom apart-

ment, Hoffman said. The city relies on local landlords to provide the housing, landlords who are willing to overlook less-than-perfect credit score, or a spotty criminal history, she said. On February 3, the United States Interagency Council on Homelessness sent Chattanooga a letter: “We are confident that the infrastructure and systems you have built will ensure that any Veteran experiencing homelessness in Chattanooga will get the support they need to quickly obtain a permanent home.” “There was a lot of dancing,” Hoffman said, when the letter informing the city it had effectively ended veteran homelessness arrived. “We knew we were there. We knew that we had submitted a really solid report.” In the end, it wasn’t a snapshot of the number of veterans without a home that showed progress, but that the city had a way to tackle the problem. “There are still homeless veterans out there,” said Jens Christensen,

COVER STORY of what they are capable of. It interferes with their ability to dream.”

executive director for Chattanooga Community Kitchen. “There will be more veterans that will become homeless, so the idea now is that we have a system in place that still requires work and will always require work, but a system to address veteran homelessness.”

The need outstrips the resources

The Next Problem Now, some of the area’s leaders against homelessness want to attack chronic homelessness with the same vigor. Not only are people who have been homeless for more than a year more likely to die on the streets, they are the ones using the most resources, Christiansen said. Making an intense effort to help them will leave more resources across the whole city. “If you believe that the poor will always be with us, then it’s okay to know that you’ll have some people become homeless over time,” Christiansen said. “But if we can help them quickly, we reduce their chances of returning to homelessness, we reduce the strain on the system, make a better, healthier place for the entire community.” The Chattanooga Community Kitchen, situated in a long building along the tree-lined E. 11th Street, is one of the front lines in the fight against homelessness. The kitchen goes beyond offering a meal to the homeless, or people stuck in a decision between buying groceries or paying rent. It offers showers, internet access, phones and its doors are always open. “The kitchen is where the person turns in terms of case management,” Christiansen said. People often have an image of a homeless person, Christiansen said, that doesn’t conform to the facts. The picture in their minds is often of a panhandling, drug-addicted man. But many homeless are employed and many don’t have a drinking or drug problem, Christensen said. But the true causes are often outside the person’s control, such as domestic vio-

lence, unemployment or eviction. As a result, there are many different strategies for managing homelessness. Chattanooga employs a housing-first philosophy—simply get the individual housed. Get them in a stable life where they can keep stable habits where they can get a job, develop income, have a base from which they can seek care, benefits, or work through an addiction. This is a change, Christiansen said, from the philosophy years ago that only the people who have conquered drug habits—who have lived clean in streets littered with needles and empty bottles—are the ones deserving of aid. A rising problem: Children and families Meanwhile, the number of family homelessness and single younger women represent a rising number of Chattanooga-area homeless, Christiansen said. The point in time counts don’t exactly describe all the people without a stable home, Galloway said. HUD uses one definition of homelessness: Is the person living on the streets, in an emergency shelter or in a transitional housing? But it doesn’t take into account people are crashing on a friend’s couch in between apartments, or families who

are bunking up 2-3 families per apartment. In those situations, housing is equally as tentative and it’s the way the Department of Education defines homelessness. The Chattanooga Times Free Press reported in 2014 there were 1,700 such students in the district. “With homelessness, the children are picking up the bill,” Galloway said. Family Promise of Greater Chattanooga—an organization that works with 50 area congregations to provide food and shelter—recently received a call: A family was living in a Walmart parking lot. The kids did homework by streetlamp and used the bathroom in the superstore. Breakfast was whatever they could buy at a gas station convenience store. Living when the next meal, the next bed is in question erodes the ability to focus well in school, attaining good grades. And when it comes to attaining higher education, well, forget about saving if you don’t even have enough to pay rent, Galloway said. The result is that the ill effects of poverty are passed onto the next generation. Homelessness, and the issues it brings, Galloway said, “really affects the core of someone … their spirit, the concept of who they are, the concept

When it comes to fighting homelessness, collaboration is key among the levels of governments and Chattanooga’s nonprofits. Many of the city’s aid organizations have memorandums of understanding with each other. “The money is not there. We have to work together,” Galloway said. But it could get more difficult, because the 2018 federal budget proposes cutting the HUD budget by billions. It’s a move that leaves national and local players in the fight against homelessness wondering how big a war chest the issue will receive next year. The National Alliance to End Homelessness said HUD’s proposed budget trims the McKinney-Vento Homeless Assistance Grants program by $133 million. It’s a move the alliance said could leave 25,000 more Americans homeless in the coming fiscal year. HUD’s proposal also eliminates the Community Development Block Grant Program. In its statement proposing the budget, the agency said the grant program, “is increasingly not well targeted to the poorest communities and has not demonstrated a measurable impact on communities.” But Family Promise is using funds from the Community Development Block Grant to pay the salary of a case manager. “That’s the positions that know the community, know the population and know the resources in the community and have relationships and partnerships with these various referral agencies,” Galloway said. “They’re the ones that really move the families into permanent housing.” Without the case managers working across the organizations, the city would not have been able to say it effectively ended veteran homelessness.

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FILM & TELEVISION

Bateman Shines in Ozark’s Grey Lens

Netflix series Ozark channels an American anti-hero

Extra! Extra! Sing All About It! Seize the day one last time! The Tony Award-winning musical Newsies: The Broadway Musical returns to cinemas in an exclusive two-day event and stars Jeremy Jordan, reprising his Tony Award-Nominated performance as “Jack Kelly.” Set in New York City at the turn of the century, Newsies is the rousing tale of Jack Kelly, a charismatic newsboy and leader of a ragged band of teenaged ‘newsies,’ who dreams only of a better life far from the hardship of the streets. But when publishing titans Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst raise distribution prices at the newsboys’ expense, Jack finds a cause to fight for and rallies newsies from across the city to strike for what’s right. Those joining Jordan from the original Broadway cast include Kara Lindsay “Katherine,” Ben Fankhauser “Davey” and Andrew Keenan-Bolger “Crutchie,” with North American Tour stars Steve Blanchard “Joseph Pulitzer” and Aisha de Haas as “Medda Larkin.” Additional cast from the Broadway and North American Tour ensemble will also return. The two-day event was captured live at The Pantages Theatre in Hollywood in September 2016. Head downtown to the Majestic 12 this Saturday at 12:55 p.m. and again on Wednesday at 7 p.m. to see Broadway on the big screen right here in Chattanooga. Newsies: The Broadway Musical Saturday, 12:55 p.m. Wednesday, 7 p.m. Majestic 12 311 Broad St. www.fathomevents.com 10 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 3, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Brooke Brown

Pulse Assistant Editor

HERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS I’VE SEEN Jason Bateman in that didn’t have me in stitches. He’s generally the dry sarcastic wit of a production that never fails to produce a good time for moviegoers, and fans of his work on Arrested Development know he’s well-suited for television as well. His performances in films like This is Where I Leave You and Disconnect were testaments to the fact that he’s always had the ability to take on more serious roles, but may have been pigeonholed into comedy because of his inherent hilariousness. Thank you to Netflix’s Ozark for giving us a different view of Bateman that shows he’s more than just the loveable dick of the group in a comedy. As

a disinterested Chicago financial adviser, Marty Byrde (Bateman) lives his life with a glazed look and a passive aggressive demeanor perfectly supported by his formerly mentioned wit. But there’s something to Marty beyond watching porn during meetings with potential clients; he’s the top money launderer for the second largest drug cartel in Mexico. The show takes on a more criminal-driven Breaking Bad-esque plot, with Marty doing what he needs to first provide for his family, and then protect them, but for reasons more self-serving than Walter White’s cancer-driven agenda. And where Walter’s decisions build off of his ever-growing ego, Marty’s choices become increasingly survival-based. It’s a comparison that’s hard not to make, so remember, as with Breaking Bad, Ozark is a slow build, but worth the effort of hanging on.

FILM & TELEVISION

“Bateman shines as the perfect anti-hero. We believe he knows what he’s doing, what he’s talking about, all because of how he says he’ll get things done.” The cinematography alone is enough to grasp the viewer, phenomenally shot in what seems like a filter of blues and greys, reflecting Marty’s dull view of his life in its monotone hues. Bateman directed the first two episodes himself, and two later ones, and while this show may not have the sense of urgency you’d expect to see with a plot like this, its slow draw is a satisfying one. The pilot opens with Marty stashing cash in a shambled garage while he blandly narrates about cash—bones, clams, loot, bread—and how while the American dream may not be dead, we have a fundamentally flawed view of money. In the calm, collected manner in which Marty conducts himself throughout the series, he says, “Money is not piece of mind. Money is not happiness. Money

is, at its essence, that measure of a man’s choices.” Learning that Marty’s partners have skimmed money from the cartel, cartel leader Del has no choice but to take them out, but Marty, being the smoothtalker that he is sees his choices before him and makes a lastditch effort in saving his own life and that of his family by suggesting they move the business from Chicago to the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri. Why? To loot the economy built on the backs of millions of tourists that wash into the Ozarks every summer, outside of the watchful eye of the FBI and other government officials. Laundering fivehundred million over the next five years is but a small task in exchange for your life, right, Marty? Bateman shines as the perfect anti-hero. We believe he knows

what he’s doing, what he’s talking about, all because of how he says he’ll get things done. His actions, language, and knowledge of business assures us that even if he doesn’t have it all figured out now, he’ll get it straight in the end. Maybe it’s the draw of Bateman as an actor, but despite knowing that he’s willingly gotten into seedy business for the wrong reasons, it’s easy to root for Marty that all this shit works out in the end. His wife Wendy is the bland, grocery-shopping every afternoon mother of two who has one or two of her own secrets, brilliantly portrayed by Laura Linney. Her clipped demeanor and quick temper make her a standout supporting character to Bateman’s performance that is continuously cool, even when he literally brings a knife to a gunfight. For those of you who enjoy fast-paced action, Ozark may be too reserved and slow-building, but overall, its plot and cast of characters bring to life an artsy and enthralling look into the lives of your typical family harboring a mountainous secret.

✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴

The Dark Tower The last Gunslinger, Roland Deschain, has been locked in an eternal battle with Walter O'Dim, also known as the Man in Black, determined to prevent him from toppling the Dark Tower in the Stephen King classic. Director: Nikolaj Arcel Stars: Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey

Detroit Amidst the chaos of the Detroit Rebellion, with the city under curfew and as the Michigan National Guard patrolled the streets, three young African American men were murdered at the Algiers Motel. Director: Kathryn Bigelow Stars: John Boyega, Anthony Mackie, Algee Smith

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Dreaming Of Cardboard Creations Local artists pay cardboard homage to Wayne White By Ernie Paik

Cultural Representation Through Salsa Dance Dancing is an art. Like a painter’s brushstrokes or color choices, a choreographer or dancer must carefully select how to move his or her body and to what music. Dancing is also a cultural experience. Much like looking at a classic Greek or Italian artist’s work, dancing, or even just watching someone dance, allows for participators and spectators to immerse themselves in another culture. Thankfully, Chattanooga has a diverse dance scene. Whether it is swing dancing at Big Band Fever or belly dancing at Zanzibar Dance Studios, Chattanooga allows for a wide variety of cultural representation through dance. Another example of this representation will take place this Friday night. The Revelry Room is hosting its first Salsa on the Southside Dance Social. This dance gathering is organized by G2G Salsa, a dance company whose mission is to expand Latin influence throughout the area of Chattanooga through dance. Jesse Ramos, founder of G2G Salsa, will provide a complimentary dance lesson at the beginning of the event, so even if you’re a beginner, you can still experience Latin culture through dance Dance is an art; dance is important. Cities like Chattanooga support these facts. Join Ramos and other Salsa lovers this Friday for a Latin experience unlike any other. — Lauren Waegele Salsa on the Southside Friday, 8:30 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. (423) 521-2929 www.revelryroom.co 12 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 3, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Pulse contributor

NE ASTOUNDING FACT ABOUT THE creation of Wayne-O-Rama—the wildly imaginative and immersive tribute to local history designed by Chattanooga native Wayne White—is that over 300 volunteers shared their varied talents to help make it a reality. Some recognized White from his Emmy-winning work on the television show Pee-wee’s Playhouse or the inspiring documentary Beauty Is Embarrassing about his remarkable career, while others just wanted to lend a hand with a rare and captivating project that playfully merges art and history. The art exhibition entitled “Cardboard Coverall Dreams,” opening August 4 and running until August 28 at errSpace inside the Palace Picture House, brings together work from 13 of the volunteer artists with the common theme of how they were inspired by White. The idea for the exhibition came from Atlanta artists David Gabbard and Amy Royale last November on Wayne-O-Rama’s opening day, after pulling an all-nighter with some of Wayne-ORama’s most dedicated volunteers. “While working at Wayne-O-Rama, we all got to know each other; we created connections and friendships that have become priceless,” said Royale, an award-winning multi-disciplinary artist whose work focuses on social ideals and norms. “Before Wayne-O-Rama I had been in a bad art rut, barely making work, and full of self-doubt,” said Royale. “After the first weekend working at Wayne-O-Rama, I was so artistically charged that ideas just started flowing. What was even more exciting was the more I worked with Wayne, the more confident I felt.” “After the opening, we wanted to do something to celebrate the companionships created from be-

ing artists and give a thank you to Wayne,” said Gabbard, who creates fabric sculptures based on objects from his childhood. “Artistically the past two years have been the most productive for me and have pushed me to pursue a career in art,” said Gabbard, who had a solo show in February and has been picked up for gallery representation. “Thanks to my time working with Wayne White and Wayne-O-Rama, I realize that can be a reality and not just a dream.” Similarly, Chattanoogan Jason Doan had a personal transformation a year ago, giving up a stable information technology job to concentrate on being a working artist.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

“After the opening, we wanted to do something to celebrate the companionships created from being artists and give a thank you to Wayne [White].” “It’s been amazing and terrifying,” said Doan, who drew from his earliest childhood memories for his piece in the exhibition, entitled “Milo,” calling its story “the perfect vehicle to relate the impact of Wayne-O-Rama and Wayne on my artistic journey.” “Knowing Wayne has literally changed my life,” said Stephen Michael Haas, who traveled from Harrisburg, Pa. to work on Wayne-O-Rama for several weeks, calling the experience part of his education. “It’s better schooling than art school, and it’s cheaper,” said Haas, whose contribution to the exhibition is a mural. “It’s me standing at the top of Lookout Mountain, and Wayne is the big general— a reference to the previous show I helped him on—but it’s pretty much saying Wayne has helped me climb my own

mountain.” Savoring a challenge, Chattanooga artist Matthew Dutton appreciated the creativity and problem-solving skills of Wayne-O-Rama volunteers. “Lots of intuitive engineering fatefully fell in place to get the initial Wayne-O-Rama machine oscillating,” said Dutton, whose piece for the exhibition is a collaborative sculpture, “the world’s largest Wayne White puppet.” “I learned that when enough people come together, even in Chattanooga, great things can happen,” said Dutton. “This proof of concept has inspired me to seek more largescale group art projects.” “I know that giving over your vision to be executed by other people can be daunting, and it takes a lot of trust, faith and honesty when it’s not where it needs to be,” said Atlanta artist Megan Hovany, who works

as a set designer and scenic painter for television and theater. “It was very cool to see Wayne’s gears turning in that way, navigating the ship, understanding that he was both very specific in his vision yet open to surprises.” “My piece is a visual representation of the influence of cartoons and rock iconography on my young brain,” said Hovany. “Wayne’s work was heavy-hitting in that sense— the anthropomorphic furniture in Pee-wee’s Playhouse, the warped perspectives, the exaggerated gestures—it all got into my young mind and became a part of my artistic DNA.” “One of the things I love most about Wayne’s work is that he doesn’t just make art, he creates entire worlds that you want to step into,” said Chattanooga artist James Bruneau. “I’m kind of trying to do that with my piece for the show.” “I’m illustrating a fairly literal take on the idea of Wayne’s insanity seeping into Chattanooga,” said Bruneau. “Doing something ‘safe’ for this show didn’t seem appropriate.”

Photo by Amy Royale

Cardboard Coverall Dreams

August 4 to 28 Opening Reception: August 4, 6 p.m. Artist Talk: August 25, 6 p.m. errSpace at the Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. #118 chattpalace.com/pages/errspace

THU8.3

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SAT8.5

20th Annual St. Jude Rodeo

First Friday

The Big Latch On

Saddle up and get ready for old-fashioned rodeo fun. 6 p.m. Doug Yates Farms 11738 Alabama Hwy. Ringgold, GA facebook.com/ stjuderodeo2017

Head to the Southside to see Denice Bizot's sculpture. 5:30 p.m. Area 61 Gallery & Showroom 61 E. Main St. (423) 648-9367 facebook.com/ area61Chattanooga

World record attempt to shine light on the natural method of child feeding. 10:30 a.m. St. John United Methodist Church 3921 Murray Hills Dr. (423) 902-4936 chattanoogabreastfeeds.org

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 3, 2017 • THE PULSE • 13

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR Presents

rrington Amber Ca

Martin & Durham

Tarryn Aimée Smith

Highbeams

Matt Downer, Old Time Traveler

Every Friday, Saturday & Sunday Now through Labor Day!

Make Plans! to enjoy some of the best toe-tapping, old time bluegrass, and a mix of modern and folk country music combined with a Seven States view during Summer Music Weekends… Featuring the music of Matt DownerOld Time Traveler, Tarryn Aimée Smith, Amber Carrington, Martin & Durham, and Highbeams. Come spend a summer day at Rock City Gardens, enjoy a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade, and check out the Birds of Prey Show in Rock City’s Critter Classroom.

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SharFest!

THURSDAY8.3 Dam Sunrise Kayak Tour 7 a.m. Outdoor Chattanoooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m. Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com A Life In Waves 6 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com 20th Annual St. Jude Rodeo 6 p.m. Doug Yates Farms 11738 Alabama Hwy. Ringgold, GA facebook.com/stjuderodeo2017 Chris Redd 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Killing Ground 8 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave.

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(423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com

FRIDAY8.4 Chattanooga Market at Erlanger 10:30 a.m. Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. chattanoogamarket.com Cambridge Square Night Market 5 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesqauretn.com SharkFest! 5 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695

tnaqua.org First Friday Featuring Sculpture by Denice Bizot 5:30 p.m. Area 61 Gallery & Showroom 61 E. Main St. (423) 648-9367 facebook.com/ area61Chattanooga Open Studio NightsArtists in the Wild 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com Cardboard Coverall Dreams Opening Reception 6 p.m. errspace Gallery 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com 20th Annual St. Jude Rodeo

ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT Chris is an exciting actor, writer, standup, sketch and improv performer, and is one of newest members of NBC's venerable comedy showcase Saturday Night Live! Chris Redd The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

6 p.m. Doug Yates Farms 11738 Alabama Hwy. Ringgold, GA facebook.com/stjuderodeo2017 The B-Side: Elsa Dorfman’s Portrait Photography 6 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Yoga On The Square 6:30 p.m. Cambridge Square 9453 Bradmore Ln. (423) 531-7754 cambridgesquaretn.com 25th Anniversary Exhibition Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Scenic City Invitational– Pro Wrestling 6:30 p.m. East Hamilton High School 2015 Ooltewah-Ringgold Rd. facebook.com/ ScenicCityInvitational Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jackson Generals 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley lookouts.com Chris Redd 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Discover more! Enjoy extra time for in-depth exploration of the cave & waterfall

Aug. 10th

abandoned ships Puppet and Shadow Show The Floor Is Yours: Miss Education 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Salsa on the Southside 8:30 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co

SATURDAY8.5 Still Hollow 1/2 Marathon & 10K 7:30 a.m. Enterprise South Nature Park 190 Still Hollow Loop (423) 893-3500 wildtrails.org Totally Awesome 80’s Xpress 5K 8 a.m. Hamilton Place Mall 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 894-7177 hamiltonplace.com Walk for Water 9 a.m. Tennessee Riverpark 4301 Amnicola Hwy. watermissions.org 7th Annual Classic Car Show 9 a.m. Camp Jordan Arena 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy. (423) 305-2410 rivercitycorvetteclub.com Homebuyer Workshop 9 a.m. Chattanooga Neighborhood

Enterprise 1500 Chestnut St. (423) 756-6234 cneinc.org Guided Cumberland Trail Hike 9 a.m. Outdoor Chattanoooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com St. Alban’s Hixson Market 9:30 a.m. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 River Market Yoga 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Northside Farmers Market 10 a.m. Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com The Big Latch On 10:30 a.m. St. John United Methodist Church 3921 Murray Hills Dr. (423) 902-4936 chattanoogabreastfeeds.org Brainerd Farmers Market 11 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682

Farmer’s Market 11 a.m. Nutrition World 6237 Vance Rd. (423) 892-4085 nutritionw.com Join Us or You’re Doomed: Fighting Against Reconstruction 2 p.m. Chickamauga & Chattanooga National Military Park 3370 Lafayette Rd. (423) 752-5213 nps.gov/chch Scottish Celebration with Jamie Laval 4:30 p.m. Reflection Riding Arboretum and Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org 20th Annual St. Jude Rodeo 6 p.m. Doug Yates Farms 11738 Alabama Hwy. Ringgold, GA facebook.com/stjuderodeo2017 Scenic City Invitational– Pro Wrestling 6:30 p.m. East Hamilton High School 2015 Ooltewah-Ringgold Rd. facebook.com/ ScenicCityInvitational Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jackson Generals 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley lookouts.com Chris Redd 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Moonlight Kayak Tour on Lake Chickamauga 8:30 p.m. Outdoor Chattanoooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com

SUNDAY8.6 Rapid Learning Instructional River Trip 9 a.m. Outdoor Chattanoooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Free Fiddle School 2 p.m. Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd. (423) 994-7497 Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jackson Generals 2:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley lookouts.com Milissa Orzolek's abandoned ships Puppet and Shadow Show 6:30 p.m. Wayne-O-Rama

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CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 3, 2017 • THE PULSE • 15

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Chattanooga Hiking Club Meeting 1800 Rossville Ave. wayneorama.com Chris Redd 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY8.7 Red Bank Farmers Market 3 p.m. Red Bank United Methodist 3800 Dayton Blvd. (423) 838-9804 Chattanooga Hiking Club Meeting 6:30 p.m. Outdoor Chattanoooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jackson Generals 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley lookouts.com

TUESDAY8.8 Understanding Behaviors: It’s Not Your Personality 5:30 p.m. The Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 413-8978 thechattery.org Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m. Downtown Library 1001 Broad St.

16 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 3, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

(423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jackson Generals 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field 201 Power Alley lookouts.com Top Secret Tuesday 10 p.m. Palace Picture House 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com

WEDNESDAY8.9 Middle East Dance 10:30 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market at Erlanger East 10:30 a.m. Erlanger East Hospital 1751 Gunbarrel Rd. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Main Street Market 4 p.m. 522 W. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Improv Chattanooga 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

OPINIONS & DIVERSIONS

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 3, 2017 • THE PULSE • 17

MUSIC

Kanopi Brings Back Old School Acid Rock Former Chattanooga rockers bring the noise with King V

Scots-Irish Culture And The Music Scene A lot of Chattanoogans don’t really consider Celtic music to be a part of their everyday lives. However, a great majority of them embrace genres like bluegrass, Americana, and American folk music. Interestingly enough, these genres that many in Appalachia love today come from the Celtic diaspora. Yes, those fiddles, banjos, and mandolins are really more Scottish and Irish than they are American. With this in mind, you don’t have to be a Celt enthusiast to enjoy Jamie Laval. All you have to be is, well, Southern. Nationally acclaimed fiddler Jamie Laval is coming to Chattanooga to perform at Reflection Riding Nature Center and Arboretum’s Scottish celebration, where there will be music, food, drinks, and dancing. Quoted as being the next Alasdair Frasier (bluegrass fans, you know that’s a big deal), Laval has recorded numerous soundtracks, won multiple awards, and has even played for Queen Elizabeth II. Listening to Laval play is like being transported through time to the Scottish Highlands of ancient times. Yet, his skill and virtuosity are evidence of careful and meticulous practice. So bring your adventurous spirit, your dancing shoes, and your kilts to Reflection Riding and appreciate the Celtic roots of the music you listen to every day. — Lauren Waegele Scottish Celebration with Jamie Laval Saturday, 4:30 p.m. Reflection Riding Arboretum and Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org 18 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 3, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

S A RULE, I LIKE TO KEEP THE FEAtures about local acts. Supporting the local scene is at the heart of everything I do here at The Pulse, but this week I’m going to stretch the borders a little and talk about a semi-local band, Kanopi. In all fairness Kanopi was formed right here in the Scenic City but has since relocated to Nashville. The fellas still make it back to Chattanooga from time to time and when they do I sincerely urge you to seek them out. For that matter, the next time you’re up around Nashville looking for something worthwhile to do, find them in their new adopted stomping grounds. Founded in 2013, the quartet features the talents of Caleb Myrick, Aanen Butz, Zack Nicholson

and Stephen Byard. Four years of hard work have culminated in the recent release of their debut LP, King V. Sometimes when reviewing a band or album I receive a press kit that tells me all about their history, their influences, etc. Other times I receive a piece of music and it’s left to me to glean what I can from that. I much prefer the latter. In that case, right or wrong, whatever I hear and write about is solely from my perspective without any inherent bias from what the band may want me to hear. Put another way, if a piece of music is meant to convey a particular theme or message, telling me what it is before I hear the music immediately compromises my ability to discern how effective the music is communicating. In listening to King V I had no real notion of what the band was about, and I’m glad, because I can say now, after the fact, that what I heard is

MUSIC

“Call it a family reunion, a musical orgy for your ears, or just the best damn party anywhere this weekend. Dumpy’s at 1110 US 64 in Ocoee is the place to be Friday night.” what the band meant. First and foremost: labels. You hate ‘em. I hate ‘em. But they can be useful, and within moments of firing up this album there were only two words I could think of to describe it: acid rock. Good, old-fashioned, “they haven’t made music like this in a long time” acid rock. Think of the best of the best of the heavier stuff that came out of the late sixties through most of the seventies and that’s what you have here. Not the bloated, overproduced stuff that came at the end of the era, but the music from the height of the genre when bands became legends. Again, I didn’t go looking for the band’s self-description until after I reached my own conclusions, but it is notable that they list Led Zeppelin as an influence because frankly, track after track rings with spirit of Led Zeppelin at it’s very best. The vocalist does Robert Plant better than Robert Plant ever did. “King Vulture” is all the proof you need of that. The opening track, “Given Up,” introduces us to a drummer with the chops to have been on Bowie’s final album (that’s meant as the highest praise.) The guitar work throughout is part Jimmy Page, part

David Gilmour, always phenomenal and perfectly suited to the band and the bass player, rather than being forgotten in the back as so many are, not only lays down half of an impressive rhythm section, but also manages to make the bass a melodic instrument at times. Indeed, Kanopi is in many ways the idealized version of a hard rock/psychedelic band where every player is a star, everyone gets their shine on, but there is no ego or “turning up the amps.” Basically you have four outstanding performers who play together seamlessly, instead of three guys backing a frontman. Kanopi is absolutely classic with the perfect blend of cerebral and raw power and if this were their tenth album, it would be impressive. That it is their debut speaks volumes for the talent, ability and direction of a band that proves more than any other I’ve heard in the last few years that a new dog can learn old tricks and elevate them to a place no one has heard in decades. The album, King V, is available now via bandcamp and given what these fellows have captured in recording, one can only surmise their live shows must be spectacular.

Jayhawk Festival Kicks Off In Chickamauga

The Jayhawk Music and Arts festival is coming up this weekend and promises to be a powerhouse of local talent, all to support a worthy cause. The festival, named for the late Jay Burgess, serves to benefit the Children’s Advocacy Center of the Lookout Mountain Judicial Circuit. Taking place at Pigeon Mountain Grill (18381 Hwy 193 in Chickamauga, GA) with the festivities set to begin on Saturday at 10 a.m. and running until 8 p.m. The event is free to the public, but donations are gratefully accepted.

The festival will feature the work of regional artists and artisans as well as a stellar line up of musical guests including Mic Harrison and the High Score, the always entertaining Bob Carty, Tommy Womack, Sweet GA Brown, The Ex-Laws, Kidd/Shaw, Small Town Rumour, Michael Teague, Muletide, Marlon Murphy, the Corey Alan Rose Band and the “host with the most,” Un Amigo. Blues, country, garage rock, Americana, quirky acoustic folk and “music from the future” are just some of the genres represented by this award-winning group of talented performers.

THU8.3

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End of Summer Dance Party

The Young Fables

An Evening with Scott Miller

The Hunter Museum's "Bands on The Bluff" kicks off the last month of summer with a big party. 6 p.m. The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. huntermuseum.org

Classic country with a youthful twist, this Nashville duo brings the classic sound to a fresh, new life while still staying true to their roots. 9 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com

Scott Miller came into the spotlight in the mid-nineties as leader of the Knoxvillebased band The V-Roys. 7 p.m. Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 3, 2017 • THE PULSE • 19

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Spiritual Rez

THURSDAY8.3 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m. St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing 6 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Open Mic Night hosted by Megan Saunders 6 p.m. Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com End of Summer Dance Party: Bands on the Bluff 6 p.m. The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. huntermuseum.org Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m. Motley’s 320 Emberson Dr. Ringgold, GA (706) 260-8404 Singer Songwriter Series 7 p.m. Fiamma Pizza Company 405 N. Market St. fiammapizzacompany.com Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m. Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m. Mexi-Wing VII

20 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 3, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m. The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Spiritual Rez, The Iscariots 8 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Coathanger Abortion, Putridity, Desecrate The Faith, Delusional Parisitosis 8 p.m. Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd.

ziggysbarandgrill.net Open Mic Night with Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Deacons, The Stir 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

FRIDAY8.4 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Connection 27 6 p.m. Cambridge Square Night Market

PULSE MUSIC SPOTLIGHT As part of Hamilton Place Mall's 30th anniversary celebration, the original mall musician Tiffany takes the main stage to bring back the '80s. Tiffany Saturday, 2 p.m. Hamilton Place Mall 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd. hamiltonplace.com

9453 Bradmore Ln. chattanoogamarket.com Eddie Pontiac 6 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Ben Miller Band, Josh Driver & the Dixieland Playboys 7 p.m. Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Roadhouse 7 p.m. Thunder Creek Harley-Davidson 7720 Lee Hwy. thundercreekharley.com Slippery When Wet–The Ultimate Bon Jovi Tribute 7 p.m. Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Danimal 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Pinecone, Plezur Falcon, preymantha 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Cosmic Shift jjsbohemia.com Trailer Hippies 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com The Young Fables 9 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Stacy Wilson & The Band Raven 9 p.m. Coyote Jacks Saloon 1400 Cowart St. coyotejackssaloon.com Yz Dream 9 p.m. Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. thesouthsidesocial.com The Get Right Band 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Live Music 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY8.5 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Bluegrass Brunch Noon The Honest Pint

35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Angela Easterling 12:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Tiffany 2 p.m. Hamilton Place Mall 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd. hamiltonplace.com Noah Cyrus 4 p.m. Lake Winnepesaukah 1730 Lakeview Dr. lakewinnie.com Scottish Celebration with Jamie Laval 4:30 p.m. Reflection Riding Arboretum and Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. reflectionriding.org Eddie Pontiac 6 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Govinda, Tyrezz 7 p.m. Chattanooga Riverfront 201 Riverfront Pkwy. riverfrontnights.com An Evening with Scott Miller 7 p.m. Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com

Tim Lewis 7 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Scenic City Showcase: Songwriters in the Round 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Wrong Way: A Tribute to Sublime 8 p.m. Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Angela Easterling 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Danimal 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Cosmic Shift, Over Easy, PLSPLS 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Megan Saunders Band 9 p.m. Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Schande, Mythical

Motors, Onetimers 9 p.m. Sluggo’s North 505 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224 Scott Forbes 9 p.m. Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net The Sullivan Band 10 p.m. Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Koko & Karma 10 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Live Music 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY8.6 Summer Music Weekends 11 a.m. Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Ryan Oyer 11 a.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Angela Easterling 12:30 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 3, 2017 • THE PULSE • 21

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Your Pest Band Wyatt Espalin 12:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Band of Lovers 1:30 p.m. Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Michael Jacobs 2 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Bluegrass Jam 4 p.m. Fiddler’s Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd. (423) 994-7497 Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m. Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Shawnessey Cargile 6:30 p.m. Slick’s Burgers 309 E. Main St. (423) 760-4878 Mathis & Martin 7 p.m. The BackStage Bar 29 Station St. (423) 629-2233 Andrea Tierney, Cody Lawyer 7 p.m. The Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul 214 E. 8th St. stspeterandpaulbasilica.com Seeds? 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia

22 • THE PULSE • AUGUST 3, 2017 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

MONDAY8.7 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic 8 p.m. The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com Open Mic Night 6 p.m. Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m. The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com

TUESDAY8.8 Danimal 6 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m. Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike

tremonttavern.com The Gents, The Stompers 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

WEDNESDAY8.9 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com Toby Hewitt 6 p.m. Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com No Big Deal 6 p.m. SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Pickin On Yee-Haw 6 p.m. Slick’s Burgers 309 E. Main St. (423) 760-4878 Old Time Fiddle & Banjo Show 6:30 p.m. Fiddler’s Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd. (423) 994-7497 Jim and Kathy 6:30 p.m. Poblanos Mexican Cuisine 551 River St. poblanoschattanooga.com Austin Blaine, Blurry, Hindsight, Formative Years 7 p.m. The Daily Ration

1220 Dartmouth St. thedailyrationchattanooga.com Mercy Blow 7 p.m. Cloud Springs Deli 4097 Cloud Springs Rd. Ringgold, GA cloudspringsdeli.com Joel Clyde 8 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m. Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Jazz in the Lounge 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Dylan LeBlanc, Webb William 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. Thepalmshamilton.com Your Pest Band, Invisible Teardrops, Rivers Edge 9:30 p.m. Sluggo’s North 505 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224 Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ADAM BECKETT

New Music From Ben Friberg Trio, Angel Snow

Ben Friberg Trio Invisible Boundary (Recordame)

hattanooga is a music scene that is rich, sundried, and currently in its prime as a whole. The local music that is being produced is some of the finest in the world, and every genre is covered by the myriad of talented artists producing music out of the scenic city. While venturing outside of my typical music selections, I discovered a remarkable Jazz album, Invisible Boundary, by the Ben Friberg Trio. The powerful music that is locked inside of the album explodes from within as the play button is initiated. The trio is

Angel Snow Magnetic (Nettwerk)

made up by Ben Friberg (jazz guitar), Dave Schwab (bass), and Jim Crumble (percussion); together they know how to make beautiful, thought and heart provoking, musical magic. Despite the fact that all of the songs fall under the jazz category, they all shine brightly in their own way. Each song on the album is very different from the next, and tells a unique story. Invisible Boundary is majestic, and pure from a musical standpoint. It is the kind of album that can whisk the listener away to a faraway destination, per-

haps to another location in space and time. It is the kind of music that can be listened to in a variety of settings, by a variety of individuals. It is an incredible album that is well put together by the talented trio. This is a start to finish kind of album that is an instant classic. There is not a bad song on the album, however, the standout tracks are “Yesterdays”, “Windows”, “Samba de Orfeu”, “West Coast Blues”, and “Straight no Chaser”. There also is an excellent music video of the chill track “Yesterdays” available on Vimeo. Whether a person thinks they like jazz music or not, is absolutely irrelevant. If a person likes music, and has an open mind, they will love this album. Give it a listen Chattanooga, you can thank me later.

he Chickamauga, Georgia native, Angel Snow, who is currently producing music out of Nashville, is a vehement,

ardent, and wholeheartedly ferocious musician that is setting the music scene on fire with her musical presence. With the release of her most recent album, Magnetic, Angel has strengthened her stance as the crème of the crop of indie/alternative musicians in the world. With her compelling and dominating vocal abilities, and individual sound, Angel Snow produces music that truly has a one of a kind sound. While it mixes up, and takes bites out of a wide range of genres, it holds true to its own sound, and can only be classified as Angel Snow music. Think fierce singer songwriter, with its own style, and some electronic elements such as drum machines, and beats. As if her voice and style were not reason enough to separate her from other musicians, her lyrics hold significant weight. In her songs, she’s not singing senseless words that sound good because of her captivating voice, alongside a catchy beat; on the contrary,

she is singing poetic songs that people can feel, that they can relate to. Songs about love, life, loss, resistance, memories, hopes, fears, and everything in between. Magnetic is a fantastic album that any music lover can truly appreciate. While the title track “Magnetic” is the featured song on the album, it does not mean that any of the other songs are any less enchanting. “Photographs”, “Medium”, “Holding On”, “Secret” (Alternative Mix), and “Disguises” are all exceptional tracks from the stellar album. It is fantastic to watch local artists push through the pavement that is the music industry, for it can be a daunting task. Angel Snow keeps her authentic sound, pours out music with heart and soul, and crushes spell binding vocals to be a powerful warrior for the battle of music. Give it a listen Chattanooga, you will be supporting local, and listening to stellar music at the same time.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 3, 2017 • THE PULSE • 23

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

The List

When that’s finished, I hope you put great care into the bottling. It’s as important as the other steps.

How Often Do People Lie? ROB BREZSNY

It's been said that everyone lies. Some do it to make themselves feel better, others do it to make others feel better, and some do it just becaue they like to. So what are the statistics? • Percent of adults who admit to telling lies "sometimes" or "often": 12% • Percent of people who admit to lying on their resumes: 31% • Percent of patients who lie to their doctor: 13% • Percent of patients who "stretched the truth" to their doctor: 32% • Percent of patients who lied about following a doctors treatment plan: 40% • Percent of patients who lied about their diet and exercise regiments: 30% • Percent of people who lie at least once during a 10-minute conversation: 60% • Average number of lies per day by men to their partner, boss, or colleagues: 6 • Average number of lies per day by women to their partner, boss, or colleagues: 3 But the real question remains: can statistics ever be trusted? Source: statisticbrain.com /lyingstatistics/

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo actor Robert DeNiro once observed that most people devote more energy to concealing their emotions and longings than to revealing them. Is that true about you? If so, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to hide less of yourself and express more. There’ll be relatively little hell to pay as a result, and you’ll get a boost of vitality. Don’t go overboard, though. I’m not suggesting that you unveil every last one of your feelings and yearnings to everyone—just to those you trust. Most importantly, I hope you will unveil all your feelings and yearnings to yourself. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It has almost become a tradition: Each year at about this time, you seem to enjoy scaring the hell out of yourself, and often the heaven, too. These self-inflicted shocks have often had a beneficial side effect. They have served as rousing prompts for you to re-imagine the future. They have motivated and mobilized you. So yes, there has been an apparent method in your madness—an upside to the uproar. What should we expect this time, my dear? A field trip to a crack house or a meth lab? Some fun and games in a pit of snakes? An excursion to the land of bad memories? I suggest something less melodramatic. How about, for example, a frolic with unruly allies in a future paradise that’s still a bit unorganized? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Before grapes become wine, they have to be cleaned. Then crushed. Then macerated and pressed. The next phase is fermentation, followed by filtering. The aging process, which brings the grapes’ transformation to completion, requires more time then the other steps. At the end, there’s one more stage: putting the wine in bottles. I’d like to compare the grapes’ evolution to the story of your life since your last birthday. You are nearing the end of the aging phase.

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you gearing up to promote yourself and your services? In my astrological opinion, you should be. If so, you could put the following testimonial from me in your résumé or advertisement: “[place your name here] is a poised overseer of nerve-wracking transitions and a canny scout who is skilled at tracking down scarce resources. He/she can help you acquire the information and enhancements you don’t quite have the power to get by yourself. When conditions are murky or perplexing, this plucky soul is enterprising and inventive.” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your eyes are more powerful than you realize. If you were standing on a mountaintop under a cloudless night sky with no moon, you could see a fire burning 50 miles away. Your imagination is also capable of feats that might surprise you. It can, for example, provide you with an expansive and objective view of your entire life history. I advise you to seek that boost now. Ask your imagination to give you a prolonged look at the big picture of where you have been and where you are going. I think it’s essential to your discovery of the key to the next chapter of your life story. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Love is your gritty but sacred duty. It’s your prickly prod and your expansive riddle, your curious joy and your demanding teacher. I’m talking about the whole gamut, Capricorn—from messy personal romantic love to lucid unconditional spiritual love; from asking smartly for what you desire to gratefully giving more than you thought you had. Can you handle this much sweet, dark mystery? Can you grow your intimacy skills fast enough to keep up with the interesting challenges? I think you can. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): There’s an eclipse of the moon coming up in the sign of Aquarius. Will it bring bad luck or good luck? Ha! That’s a trick question. I threw it in to see if you have been learning anything from my efforts to redeem astrology’s reputation. Although some misinformed people regard my chosen field as a superstitious pseudo-science, I say it’s an imaginative art form that helps us identify and transform our subconscious patterns. So the wise answer to my earlier question

Homework: What do you know or do that very few people know or do? Tell me at FreeWillAstrology. com. Click on “Email Rob.” is that the imminent lunar eclipse is neither bad luck nor good luck. Rather, it tells you that have more power than usual to: 1. tame and manage the disruptive and destructive aspects of your instinctual nature; 2. make progress in dissolving your old conditioning; 3. become more skilled at mothering yourself. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): August is Good Hard Labor Month for you Pisceans. It’s one of those rare times when a smart version of workaholic behavior might actually make sense. Why? First of all, it could ultimately lead to a pay raise or new perks. Secondly, it may bring to light certain truths about your job that you’ve been unconscious of. Third, it could awaken you to the fact that you haven’t been trying as hard as you could to fulfill one of your long-term dreams; it might expand your capacity to devote yourself passionately to the epic tasks that matter most. For your homework, please meditate on this thought: Summoning your peak effort in the little things will mobilize your peak effort for the Big Thing. ARIES (March 21-April 19): In my astrological opinion, your life in the coming days should draw inspiration from the ancient Roman festival of Saturnalia, a six-day bout of revelry that encouraged everyone to indulge in pleasure, speak freely, and give gifts. Your imminent future could (and I believe should) also have resemblances to the yearly Doo Dah Parade in Pasadena, which features a farcical cavalcade of lunatics, like the Shopping Cart Drill Team, The Radioactive Chicken Heads, the Army of Toy Soldiers, and the Men of Leisure Synchronized Nap Team. In other words, Aries, it’s an excellent time to set aside your dignity and put an emphasis on having uninhibited fun; to amuse yourself to the max as you experiment on the frontiers of self-expression; to be the person you would be if you had nothing to lose. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s time to Reinvent the Wheel and Rediscover Fire, Taurus. In my astrological

opinion, you’ll be wasting your time unless you return to the root of all your Big Questions. Every important task will mandate you to consult your heart’s primal intelligence. So don’t mess around with trivial pleasures or transitory frustrations that won’t mean anything to you a year from now. Be a mature wild child in service to the core of your creative powers. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Writing in The Futurist magazine, Christopher Wolf says that the tradition of eating three hearty meals per day is fading and will eventually disappear. “Grazing” will be the operative term for how we get our fill, similar to the method used by cavemen and cavewomen. The first snack after we awaken, Wolf suggests, might be called “daystart.” The ensuing four could be dubbed “pulsebreak,” “humpmunch,” “holdmeal” and “evesnack.” In light of your current astrological omens, Gemini, I endorse a comparable approach to everything you do: not a few big doses, but rather frequent smaller doses; not intense cramming but casual browsing; not sprawling heroic epics but a series of amusing short stories. CANCER (June 21-July 22): The RIKEN Institute in Japan experiments with using ion beams to enhance plant growth. In one notable case, they created a new breed of cherry tree that blossoms four times a year and produces triple the amount of flowers. The blooms last longer, too, and the trees thrive under a wider span of temperatures. In the next eleven months, Cancerian, you won’t need to be flooded with ion beams to experience a similar phenomenon. I expect that your power to bloom and flourish will be far stronger than usual. Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES “5 PM”

—you’ll find it in the long answers. ACROSS 1 “Get outta here!” 5 Windshield attachment 10 Be boastful 14 “No can do” 15 Beginning of Caesar’s boast 16 Gutter holder 17 Vicuña’s land, maybe 18 Recycled iron, e.g. 20 B-movie bad guy who emerges from the deep 22 Sound heard during shearing 23 Those, in Tabasco 24 Food drive donation 27 G.I. entertainers 30 Olive ___ (Popeye’s love) 32 “The elements,” so to speak 34 Pastries named after an emperor 38 “Eric the Half-___” (Monty Python song) 39 Decisive statement 42 “Beloved” novelist Morrison 43 Happening in L.A. and N.Y. simultaneously, maybe 44 “Queen of Soul” Franklin 47 Liq. ingredient 48 157.5 deg. from N. 49 Late Pink Floyd member Barrett 50 Start to matter? 53 Tuna type 55 “I’m gonna do it no matter what!” 60 They might appear when right-clicking 63 Shearing stuff 64 “Moby Dick” captain 65 Bear with patience 66 Good poker draws 67 Star of “Seagulls! (Stop It Now): A Bad Lip Reading” 68 Word on an empty book page 69 Zilch Down 1 Eats dinner

2 Gnaw on 3 Ineffable glow 4 Large digit? 5 Daunted 6 ___ Domani (wine brand) 7 ___ asada 8 Build up 9 Subatomic particle with no strong force 10 It’s served in the video game “Tapper” 11 Maze runner 12 Director DuVernay of the upcoming “A Wrinkle In Time” 13 Shaving cream choice 19 City east of Phoenix 21 City SSW of Kansas City (that has nothing to do with bribing DJs) 24 Biblical ark measures 25 Giant concert venues 26 Tattooist’s tool 27 Baltimore Colts great Johnny 28 Very tasty 29 Played before the main act 31 “Stay” singer Lisa 33 Bagpipers’ caps 35 Leave off 36 “Rapa ___” (1994 film) 37 Adoption advocacy organization 40 Spread that symbolizes slowness 41 America’s Cup entrant 45 47-stringed instrument 46 Average guy 51 Billy Blanks workout system 52 “Am I right?” sentence ender, to Brits 54 Elijah Wood or Grant Wood, by birth 55 Brass band boomer 56 “Brah, for real?” 57 A little, in Italy 58 Ohio-based faucet maker 59 “What ___ is new?” 60 You might do it dearly 61 “So the truth comes out!” 62 Apartment, in ‘60s slang

Copyright © 2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 843.

ALL NEW. ALL FOR YOU.

ChattanoogaHasCars.com THE TENNESSEE VALLEY’S MOST POWERFUL AUTOMOTIVE SHOPPING TOOL CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 3, 2017 • THE PULSE • 25

COLUMN ∙ ON THE BEAT

Who’s Telling Us To Not Be Nice? Some horrible policing advice from the leader of the free world

Alex Teach

Pulse columnist

“W

HEN YOU GUYS PUT somebody in the car and you’re protecting their head you know, the way you put their hand over [their head],” Trump said, mimicking the motion. “Like, ‘Don’t hit their head and they’ve just killed somebody, don’t hit their head.’ I said, ‘You can take the hand away, OK?” And with those words, once again Donald Trump became the worst person in the world. Police administrations around the country felt the need to explain that no, they would be nice no matter what the President said about the treatment of criminal gang members, and hands would remain over the fontanelle of every murderer today and every day thereafter in case anyone was worried about such. Why? Because we are “nice.” We’re in the business of “nice.” Busted for 75 in a 55? I’m a nice guy to you. Caught in the act of sodomizing a little boy? It’s all smiles and flowery words. Just tried to take my gun from me while in a fight for my life? It’s not a problem. I will even offer you a comment card. I actually wake up most days wondering how I can make the criminal justice experience a better one for my clients, but that habit has now been interrupted because now I’m being forced to explain to everyone that the nearly 800,000 police officers in America working for one of its 18,000

police departments are probably not going to take the American President at his word that he will cover our legal fees if we stop being polite to criminal gang members. I have to ask; has anyone ever considered not taking the bait in situations like these? These comments are actually a great example of how he came into office in the first place. His base of angry “We’re tired of being called racist” under-employed citizens really don’t want cops to be nice to criminals and are cheering—loudly—while of course “the left” is losing its mind at him once again saying something both terribly obvious and terribly politically incorrect, as if he didn’t provide such low hanging fruit on an hourly basis. When his predecessor was in office, I can say as a career cop that he truly did make my job more difficult. I’m not talking about the guns the ATF let walk into the hands of these same Mexican cartel members whose foreheads I wish to swab with a moist towel should my AC not be sufficient in the back seat; no. I’m talking about how he would weigh in on politically charged police involved (or citizen involved) shootings. Calling cops “stupid” for holding even black college professors accountable for their behavior (though he tastefully made up for that one with the “Beer Summit”). Fanning the flames of the “Hands Up / Don’t Shoot” phenomenon,

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“This guy is an idiot, the last guy was a different kind of idiot, and we’ll deal with the next inevitable idiot as well.” even after it was proven no one had their damn hands up. Greenlighting riotous behavior if you felt like it, because “feelings.” Now, because of actions like those I listed above, we have the polar opposite kind of man in the White House who has made my job harder today for the opposite kind of encouragement. I think it would be great if we were just left alone to do our impossible jobs. We have our body cams now to record our behavior (and comically, the behavior of our clients), everyone has their cell phones to record us as we record them, we’re pretty much aware of the fact the President won’t be writing a check to our lawyers, and we’ve all clarified that the dome of every clients’ head is going to be treated as if it were our own no

matter how deplorable or violent they are. We should also consider pointing out that water is wet and oddnumbered sequels are always inferior to the even-numbered ones, but I’m willing to concede that one if I can just have a cup of coffee with my favorite Circle K clerk without having to reassure anyone that people in the White House don’t affect my policies no matter who they caucus with. This guy is an idiot, the last guy was a different kind of idiot, and we’ll deal with the next inevitable idiot as well. See a pattern forming here? “We got this.” Relax.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • AUGUST 3, 2017 • THE PULSE • 27