by b y Janis Janis Hashe Hash e
entertainment
live music
feature film
CANADIAN NOISE ROCK VERSUS THE NOOG
A SYMPHONY OF MUSIC LEGENDS
THE RETURN OF THE MASTER DIRECTOR
FREE
November 6, 2008 Issue 45 • Volume 5
CONTENTS T H E P U L S E • C H AT TA N O O G A , T E N N E S S E E • N O V E M B E R 6 , 2 0 0 8 • V O L U M E 5 , I S S U E 4 5
COVER STORY
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NEWS & VIEWS 4 BETWEEN THE BRIDGES
17 LIFE IN THE ‘NOOG
Is the election finally over?
When not to do-it-yourself.
7 SHRINK RAP
20 SHADES OF GREEN
Staying on track for the holidays.
Chattanooga’s carbon footprint.
13 ON THE BEAT
22 ASK A MEXICAN
Youth and energy v. age and wisdom.
Special Canadian edition.
ARTS & CULTURE 11 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
By Vincent Howard “Legends”, the title of the CSO’s next bill, is an obvious reference to the three featured composers. And for those with a mind toward double entendres, it’s also a nod to their respective works. But Robert Bernhardt, CSO’s resident conductor, suggests one shouldn’t stop there in teasing meanings out of this program’s suggestive designation.
14 MUSIC REVIEW
By Kelly Lockhart When asked to describe the sound of his band, legendary ’70s rocker Captain Beefheart explained it was akin to “a squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag.” The Canadian foursome of AIDS Wolf not only has embraced the Captain, but have moved sonically into the musical realm better known as “noise rock”.
18 ON SCREEN
By Jonathan Malcolm Lampley It’s always a thrill when Clint Eastwood directs a new movie. As intriguing as he was when playing Dirty Harry and The Man with No Name, Eastwood is even more fascinating as a director of films than as their star. The former action star is a master at building thoughtful, character-driven stories.
Cover photography by Kelly Lockhart
THE FUTURE OF THE CHATTANOOGA THEATRE CENTRE by Janis Hashe George Quick, who became producing director at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre after Jeffrey Brown’s departure in August, came in at a time of soul-searching for the city’s 85-year-old institution. But Quick, who started working professionally in theatre at the age of 17 at Southern California’s Knott’s Berry Farm’s Birdcage Theatre doing old-time melodrama, is used to the drama of change.
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5 PULSE BEATS 5 MAIL CALL 5 STREET PULSE 6 THE LIST 6 POLICE BLOTTER 6 CHATTANOOGA STREET SCENES 10 A&E CALENDAR
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A&E PICKS MUSIC LISTINGS MUSIC PICKS NEW MUSIC REVIEWS FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN’ CROSSWORD
The entire contents of this publication are copyrighted and property of Brewer Media Group. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publishers. The Pulse utilizes freelance writers and the views expressed within this publication are not necessarily the views of the publishers or editors. The Pulse takes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, artwork or other materials.
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3 By Dr. Rick
The
Editoon
by Rick Baldwin
Publisher Zachary Cooper zcooper@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Editor Janis Hashe jhashe@chattanoogapulse.com News Editor Gary Poole gpoole@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising Sales Rick Leavell rleavell@chattanoogapulse.com Jim Stevens jstevens@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Writers Anne Caldwell Sharon Chambers Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb Jennifer Crutchfield Mary Duffy Hellcat Vincent Howard Phillip Johnston Jonathan Malcolm Lampley Joe Lance Kelly Lockhart Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Damien Power Alex Teach Layout/Graphic Design Kelly Lockhart Alisha Whalen Contributing Artists Rick Baldwin Christopher Wilson Staff Photographers Josh Lang Damien Power Contributing Photographers Tim Cofield Bob Edens David Ruiz Contact Info: Phone 423.648.7857 Fax 423.648.7860 E-mail info@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising advertising@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Listings calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.
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Between the Bridges It Is Really ll O Over? After what seems like 10 years (but in reality was more like just two) the near-endless presidential campaign has finally come to end. A mind-boggling $1 billion was spent between the two major campaigns—and that’s not counting the hundreds of millions that the national and state parties spent, along with other “independent” groups. It’s almost impossible to imagine that it costs that much to run for president, but the fact is there for all to see. In this issue of The Pulse is a letter from perennial presidential candidate Ralph Nader, who left the Green Party to run as an independent for the White House. He complains about a lack of media coverage not only for his campaign but for all third-party candidates. While Mr. Nader’s comments have a strong overtone of sour grapes, his point about the plight of third parties in this country is valid. The Libertarian Party, for example, has been around for decades and has fielded candidates
in many major elections, not just for president, but for governorships, Senate and House seats. But faced with raising the kind of money necessary to mount a sustainable bid, the party falls very far short. In recent history, only the Reform Party was able to make any substantial showing as a third party, with the 19 percent Ross Perot garnered in 1992, and then the successful gubernatorial run by former professional wrestler and Hollywood actor Jesse Ventura in Minnesota a few years later. But stories such as these are few and far between. There hasn’t been a legitimate third party in this country in well over a century; not since Theodore Roosevelt ran for president on the Bull Moose ticket. And the reasons are simple: money and organization. It takes more than a charismatic candidate; it takes oodles of cash and thousands of people on the ground around the country to make a campaign successful. Barack Obama, before he even announced his candidacy, made sure to enlist hundreds of volunteers and some well-paid campaign veterans to build his organization, and their
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efforts paid off handsomely. Yet even the most organized campaign lives and dies by cash. John McCain opted into public financing and wasn’t able to match Obama, who opted out and raised a record-shattering amount. Obama’s 30-minute infomercial last week cost nearly $5 million— money the cash-strapped Republican couldn’t match. What chance did a Bob Barr, a Cynthia McKinney or a Ralph Nader have against that kind of monetary bludgeon? What will it take to level the playing field and give a multitude of voices and ideas equal footing on the campaign trail? There is always lots of talk among politicians— especially those on the losing end of a campaign—about limiting spending, but the fact remains that as long as the Democratic and Republican parties maintain their stranglehold on elected office, the only place where third parties are able to compete will be on the untamed frontiers of the Internet. Which brings up an interesting question: Four years from now, when the Internet will have completely integrated into every aspect of our lives, will the two big parties finally get some competition? We’ll find out when the next presidential campaign starts. In about two weeks or so.
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PulseBeats The Rob Healy Saga Continues Former Parks Director Rob Healy continues his mayoral quest, filing a motion in Chancery Court challenging the decision of the election commission stating that he did not meet the residency requirements to qualify for running for office in the March election. At issue is a decision by City Attorney Randy Nelson and the election commission that the city charter was in error in its eligibility requirements, referencing a 1990 ordinance. Healy points out that the charter was voted upon by both the City Council and the citizens of Chattanooga back in 2002, and any earlier wording or resolutions are simply not valid. Now it’s up to the courts to decide if Healy will be allowed to be on the March ballot. South Chickamauga Greenway Opens Mayor Ron Littlefield officially opened the first phase of the South Chickamauga Greenway Extension this past Friday at the Sterchi Farm. He unveiled the new canoe/kayak launch and the 1.2 miles of completed
Quote Of The Week: “Essentially, the city attorney and the Election Commission—each of which is supposed to follow the rules, not make them—is suggesting that lawfully adopted rules do not matter.” —Rob Healy
walking and biking greenway that will eventually connect the Tennessee Riverwalk System with the current South Chickamauga Greenway along the Brainerd Levee. This marks the latest improvement from what was once one of the most polluted waterways within the city, and adds yet another feather to the cap of the city’s growing reputation among outdoor enthusiasts around the region. Look, More Trees! Speaking of green, the Take Root folks are planting a group of Kentucky coffee trees in downtown locations this week, kicking off the first phase of a project that eventually will place 1,400 new trees in downtown. Which will make our downtown cooler, both literally and figuratively. Take Root is not, despite public perception, funded by the city, although the city helps by contributing support from City Forester Gene Hyde and the Tree Commission. Take Root is currently raising more funds to complete the planting (and, we may add, has come up with a groovy
market bag for purchase to that end). Visit www.takerootchattanooga.com for information on how you or your business can help. Dodgers Name Lookouts Coaches Single-A Inland Empire manager John Valentin moves up to the Double-A level and will helm the Chattanooga Lookouts next season, the Dodgers organization has announced. The 41-year-old, who played 11 major league seasons from 1992-2002, guided Inland Empire to a 68-73 record, including a 38-34 in the season’s second half to earn a California League playoff berth. He will be joined by hitting coach Luis Salazar, entering his third season as the hitting coach for the Dodgers’ Double-A club. Prior to this hitting coach stint, he served as the manager for the Vero Beach Dodgers of the Single-A Florida State League in 2006. Pitching coach Glenn Dishman will return for his second season. The former big-league pitcher served in the same capacity with Single-A Great Lakes in 2007.
Street Pulse Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?
“Yes, I have. I haven’t done much, but I’ve done a little. Mostly stocking stuffers.” Alisha Whalen Hixson
Letters to the Editor
Where Was The Coverage? Having spoken to numerous reporters and some editors with the national media (as distinguished from the local media) about the blackout or near blackout of the Nader/Gonzalez presidential campaign, striving to challenge the two-party, exclusionary duopoly, (debates, ballot obstacles, etc.). I must ask a general question: What journalistic criteria have you been employing in this presidential year that guides your pronounced non-coverage of the number three campaign that advances majoritarian agendas based on long experience, involvement, and accomplishment? These agendas are
either opposed or ignored by McCain and Obama and are often rooted in the very investigative reports by your reporters? It is puzzling how editors and publishers who oversee these prizewinning stories seem to lose interest in covering Americans who are trying to do something with that information for a better country. There has been a witting or unwitting political bigotry against third parties and independent candidates, as there was years ago against minority voters. Against the status of such candidates obstructed through ballot access laws by the two parties that dislike competition they present other rigged ways to secure their domination over the electoral landscape, including gerrymandering each other in the majority of Congressional Districts, for example. For now, please verify for yourselves your own non-coverage or coverage and inform us what your journalistic criteria standards or policies led you to this definition of your readers, listeners, and viewers rights to know. Ralph Nader Independent Presidential Candidate
Editor’s Response: We would like to point out that this is the first contact we have had from the Nader campaign in more than three months. Contrast that with near daily e-mails from not only the Democratic and Republican parties, but the Libertarians, the Greens, and even the Boston Tea Party. So, we would like to ask Mr. Nader a counter-question: Where was your interest in Tennessee? Why did you expect to get the same amount of coverage as the major candidates when you did nothing to reach out the very same media you disparage? We would have been happy to cover any and all of your campaign events or activities that took place in Chattanooga, but alas, there were none. Thank You For The Fine Article We just read your article about the farm [“Living Sustainably Off The Land”, 10/30]. Thanks so much for your perceptive coverage. You never know what someone takes away from a visit, a tour. You’ve captured our intention, which we sure appreciate. Cielo Broadened Horizons Organic Teaching Farm
We welcome your letters. All letters submitted via snail mail (PO Box 4070, Chattanooga, TN 37405), email (info@ChattanoogaPulse. com), as a web post to www.ChattanoogaPulse.com, or sent via fax (423-648-7860) must include your full name, the city or town where you live, and a verifiable phone number in order to make it into print. We never publish the phone number, but we need one anyway.
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“Yes. I started last month and am pretty much finished. Got all the big stuff, just need a few incidentals.” Eric Foster Chattanooga
“No, I have not. Money’s a bit tight, plus I’m a procrastinator. I like the rush of last minute shopping.” Misty Brandon Collegedale Be looking for the StreetPulse reporters in your neighborhood with our weekly question and our trusty camera.
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A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department and the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office.
Top-Earning Dead Celebrities 1. Elvis Presley 2. Charles M. Schulz 3. Heath Ledger 4. Albert Einstein 5. Aaron Spelling 6. Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel) 7. John Lennon 8. Andy Warhol 9. Marilyn Monroe 10. Steve McQueen While some may find this list a bit on the morbid side, consider it part of the Halloween hangover effect. What is of interest is that Elvis raked in more than $52 million in the past year, which puts him well ahead of most living musicians. For example, Justin Timberlake made $44 million and Madonna earned only $40 million.
• Even though gas prices are falling at a near mind-boggling rate, there are still those out there who are either unwilling or unable to pay for filling up their tank. A gas station on Highway 153 last week was victimized but such an entrepreneur, who tried backing away from the pump after filling up to prevent the clerk from seeing his tag—unsuccessfully, as it turned out. But what caught our eye was the description given to officers of the suspect: a skinny white male in his early 20s with a toboggan and a long, pointy goatee. Either there was a ’60s Halloween costume party and he was dressed as a hippie, or someone has been watching way too many “Dobie Gillis” re-runs and wanted to look just like Maynard G. Krebs. • If you’ve ever been tempted to pull a fire alarm, kindly resist the temptation
unless you enjoy spending time behind bars. Such was the case for a young man who thought it would be amusing to pull a fire alarm at a large Hixson apartment complex. Six Chattanooga fire companies responded to the alarm and were understandably annoyed to discover no fire. Unfortunately for the merry prankster, there were witnesses, who quickly pointed him out to authorities, who arrested him and charged him with reckless endangerment and making a false report (the pulling of the fire alarm). He was released after paying a $2,000 bond and will have plenty of time to lament his lack of an appropriate sense of humor once he faces a judge. • There are, sadly, many reports of petty theft and shoplifting every week around the city. However, some of the reports raise more questions than they answer. Such as the case of a Brainerd Road convenience-store robbery last week, during which a man made off
Chattanooga Street Scenes
with two cases…of Star Burst candy. Not only that, but he dropped one of the boxes, spilling the delicious chewy candy packets across the floor—and then stopped long enough to scoop up most of the wayward treats before running from the store. The clerk was able to write down the tag number, which helped police track down the owner of the getaway vehicle. • The Police Blotter would like to take a moment to send out thanks to State Representative Vince Dean and State Senator Andy Berke, who combined with other members of the state legislature to pass a bill renaming a section of Interstate 24 to honor slain police officer Julie Jacks. The section of the highway goes through the Fox sector where Jacks patrolled before she was shot and killed on May 6, 2002 in a struggle. Speaking before the City Council, Rep. Dean summed the tragedy up well, “She is one of our heroes in Chattanooga. She made the ultimate sacrifice to make Chattanooga a safer place to live.” Photopragh by Gary Poole
Campaign ’08 finally comes to an end
New to the list this year— yes, Forbes issues this list every year—is actor Heath Ledger, who died at the age of 28 late last year of a drug overdose. Based on his contract for his role as The Joker in The Dark Knight, it was estimated that he made more than $20 million. But probably the biggest surprise on the list is physicist Albert Einstein. Who knew that all those physics textbooks and T-shirts of him sticking his tongue out in glee would add up to such a tidy sum? While not many people can actually explain exactly what E=mc2 really means, apparently the accountants in charge of his estate have plenty of numbers prefaced by the “$” symbol to keep them quite busy year round. Source: Forbes Magazine, Oct. 2008
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ShrinkRap by Dr. Rick
If There’s A Lime In My Margarita Can I Count It As A Fruit Serving? Editor’s note: This is part two of Dr. Rick’s series on staying on track for the holidays.
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n last week’s Shrink Rap, we started looking at ways to stay healthy, happy, and “on track” during the holidays— the time of year when the temptation is strongest to veer off the wellness path. Whether you’re trying to stay vigilant about your nutrition, your exercise and physiology commitments, your sobriety, the state of your relationships, or some other intention, it’s worth spending thought and time to prepare yourself now, before the whirlwind of the season hits. Here’s a quick recap of last week’s tips, beginning with: Thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, and actions create your reality. The first step I suggest to help you get through the holidays healthfully is to visualize. Close your eyes and imagine looking and feeling the way you’ve always wanted. Perhaps it involves feeling healthy, happy, with strong self-esteem and great relationships. Hold onto your vision daily; it’s your future. Move that image forward by writing and talking about it. Tell at least five people about your dream. This is turning your thoughts into words. “Next year I want to…” Take a practical step by becoming proactive about the season, sanely and with limits (more about this next week). Be part of the planning and organizing and you can be a voice for the relative healthiness of the event. Throw in some fresh-air hiking or biking, an extra yoga class or visit to the gym, and you’ll be following a wonderful recipe to stay well in mind and body. Now let’s look at a few more
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ideas I want to share with you this week to help you stay on track this season. Food, water, booze, and tea. Or, as I like to call this part, “If there’s a lime in my margarita, can I count it as a fruit serving?” Undoubtedly overeating will be involved. It’s the holidays and you’re human. First, plan your snacks. While fruit and raw veggies may be boring, they’re loaded with fiber, which will fill you up with few calories. After the gym I’m usually famished, and ready to tackle a whole turkey myself. So, first I eat an apple or banana to take the edge off, then I’m better able to make a good choice for dinner. Second, think water. Nutritionists say we need the equivalent of an 8-oz. glass of water every hour. And a glass of water within a half hour prior to eating is a good way to avoid overeating. If you also remember to hit the salad bar when you dine out, you’re bound to eat less, and you’ll probably be too full for dessert. (Other times of the year, when there isn’t so much temptation around, it’s kinda fun to eat dessert first. Hey, life’s short. But during the holidays, well...) Alcohol puts the brakes on things like weight loss, clear thinking, and the ability to make healthy behavioral decisions, such as eating, sex, and Hey I’m OK to Drive. We all know this. Earlier this year for my birthday I had the delightful pleasure of having a martini created in my honor at The Meeting Place by Billy, probably the world’s best bartender. It was so good they sold out. This is to say, and as my friends know, I enjoy a cocktail as much as the next guy. At the holidays, social drinking seems a part of every event, and the parties are plentiful. One way to imbibe more healthfully is to drink a glass of water before and between every alcoholic beverage you consume. Or consider adding
seltzer, tonic, or tea to your drinking repertoire during the party. And speaking of tea, I find herbal tea is especially great in the evening as it’s both hydrating (helpful if you’ve been drinking alcohol) and calming. Decaf green tea is naturally medicinal for its antioxidants as well as for the psychological benefit of supporting the relaxation response. Add a few minutes of long, lazy stretches before you go to bed, and you’ve begun your recovery process from the day’s activities. Lastly, remember that at some point we all blow it. In the grand scheme of things, so what? One day’s regression isn’t going to hurt you. I’d much rather you work on giving yourself a break, getting off your own back, and forgiving your missteps. It’s a lot more important than putting undue pressure on yourself, the stress of which will only lead to further overindulging. So be realistic. I hope these tips help. After all is said and done, it’s important to really enjoy yourself while staying aware. Your aim is to plant a seed in your mind to keep you focused on your bigger goals as you enjoy the holidays, making this a time for both wellness and happiness. To be continued.
“One way to imbibe more healthfully is to drink a glass of water before and between every alcoholic beverage you consume.”
Until next week: “The miracle is this: the more we share, the more we have.” — Leonard Nimoy Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and is the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his website at www.DrRPH.com
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CoverStory
By Janis Hashe
“One of the things that initially attracted me to the job was the Circle series and the fact that the new plays were being done. That says to me that the community values that kind of progressive programming. I have no intention of changing that.”
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G
eorge Quick, who became producing director at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre after Jeffrey Brown’s departure in August, came in at a time of soulsearching for the city’s 85-yearold institution. But Quick, who started working professionally in theatre at the age of 17 at Southern California’s Knott’s Berry Farm’s Birdcage Theatre doing old-time melodrama, is used to the drama of change. Quick’s resume reveals that he studied arts management at UC Irvine, was a freelance actor and director from the early 1980s through 2008, and was the founding executive director for the Musical Theatre Company in Orange County, Calif. in the early 1990s. From there, he served as managing director of The New Conservatory Theatre Center in San Francisco from
2000-2004, and was the business representative for Actors’ Equity Association in SF in 2005-2006. He became interim executive director for the Z Space Studio in SF from May through the fall of 2007, and remained on staff as the general manager until June of 2008. Then it was off to Chattanooga. The Pulse visited Quick in his CTC office to find out what his impressions are so far—and what he envisions as the CTC’s future. The Pulse: What elements in your background have fitted you for doing this job? George Quick: My time as managing director at The New Conservatory Theatre, combined with the work I did as director of the Palo Alto Players really paved the way for this. PAP is a community theater of similar age and demographics to the CTC, and NCTC is a multi-venue facility with similar kinds of scheduling and staffing, and the CTC’s Main Stage, Circle Stage, Youth Theatre and classes for youth programming
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is similar. The funding issues are similar. TP: What was it about the position that made it attractive to you? GQ: The people I met with and talked to on the phone. The CTC itself—its beautiful setting and physical plant. Looking at Chattanooga from the outside, it’s a city that is serious about art and culture. There are things going on here equal to cities twice its size. People here have been supporting the CTC for decades. TP: When you took over the job, what did you see as positives and negatives about the CTC’s current situation? GQ: The big positive, besides what I’ve mentioned already, was in the job recruitment statement about “using theatre to enrich our lives.” I think the organization recognizes and respects the important role theatre can play in the human experience. The major challenge is in the CTC’s visibility. Even after all its years in the community, not enough people are aware of all its programs. There is room for growth—we can reach out to a broader audience. TP: How do you feel about the major programs in place at the CTC? What changes have you instituted and why? GQ: Although in general the major programs, Main Stage, Circle Stage, Youth Theatre and education, are right where they should be, I felt we were biting off a little more than we could chew in the Main Stage and Circle Stage seasons. Audiences were moving away from subscriptions to single-ticket sales, and within that, to last-minute single-ticket sales. So I took out one show in each season. I had not originally intended to do that. I added A Christmas Carol into the Main Stage season because I felt we needed to follow High School Musical with something that was also very recognizable. By bringing in more people to the Main Stage, we can introduce them to what else is going on at the CTC. But one of the things that initially attracted me to the job was the Circle series and the fact that the new plays were being done. That says to me that the community values that kind of progressive programming. I have no intention of changing that.
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CoverStory
We are working on making attending a CTC show more of an “event.” We’ve got a juried art show, in partnership with AVA, planned for the opening of Doubt. For Psycho Beach Party, we’ll be doing tailgate parties in the parking lot. Things like that are how we position ourselves as a reason to come out here. Once people do, they’re willing to do it again. TP: How are you reaching out to new audiences? GQ: Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, blogging…we’ll be doing it all. We will also be using more TV and radio advertising. We’re doing a web site called what’sinthecircle. com. We’ll be doing some intriguing leaflets for Circle shows. I’m hoping to create a coffeehouse /gathering place for people to sit and talk preand post-show, to make it more of a destination. TP: What do you say to the idea that the CTC’s remaining a community theatre hurts the chances of having a professional company in Chattanooga? GQ: Our culture does not allow for many artists to be able to make a living in the arts. Community theatre becomes an outlet for these artists to express themselves. Having said that, I am a very pro-union person. I believe in professionals getting paid for creating the arts. But if this theatre went union, for example, its budget would have to grow from $1 million per year to $10-12 million per year. There is room for a small professional theatre to grow up in Chattanooga, and I think the CTC
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can work with other companies to help that happen. TP: How is the current economic downturn going to affect the CTC? GQ: The response to our current fundraising campaign has already been good. Allied Arts is a strong force in this community and continues its support of us. First Tennessee just donated $25,000 to us. If anything, the arts are needed even more in economic hard times. We need to continue to find ways to make the experience valuable to people. When audiences saw our recent Waiting for Godot, they said things like, “I had no idea it was so moving, so funny.” We need to give them those revelatory experiences. TP: In 10 years time, where do you see the CTC? GQ: I think our educational programs will be stronger and we will have more participation, either in partnership with the schools or Parks and Rec. We will have integrated more of the cuttingedge theatre technology in lighting, projection, sound. Maybe some things we can’t even imagine right now will be “theatre.” The CTC will be more of an umbrella organization for the arts in general and theatre specifically. We’ll be a more racially mixed company; this is already happening. Lots of water will literally have gone under that bridge (gesturing to Walnut Street Bridge). We’ll be a larger community and the CTC will be 95! But we will still be an outlet for theatre artists of all kinds to express themselves.
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A&ECalendar Thursday Arts
“La Bella Italia” The Gallery, 3898 Dayton Boulevard. (423) 870-2443. www.redbankgallery.com After Work Gallery Stroll 5 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Drive. (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org Opening Reception for New Jazz Exhibits 6 p.m. Chattanooga African-American Museum, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658. joycecaam@bellsouth.net PhotoShop II Workshop 6 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Avenue. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org Trojan Women 7:30 p.m. Lee University’s Dixon Center, 1120 N. Ocoee Street. CSO Masterworks: Legends 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street. (423) 267-8583. chattanoogasymphony.org Angel Street 8 p.m. Dalton Little Theatre, 210 Pentz Street. (706) 226-6618.
Concerts & Events Santa Arrival and Christmas Parade 6:30 p.m. Hamilton Place Mall, 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 893-4801. “Railroad Avenue” Walking Tour 7 p.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad Street. (423) 265-3247 ext. 10. Steve Hofstetter 8 p.m. Comedy Catch & Giggles Grill, 3224 Brainerd Road. (423) 629-2233 www.thecomedycatch.com
Friday Arts
Friday Morning Art Class 10 a.m. Rivoli Art Mill, 2301 East 28th Street. (423) 322-2514. www.jasmilam.com “Glass - Fused & Slumped” Exhibit In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Avenue. (423) 267-9214. Pre-K Day 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Street. (423) 267-0968. “Creations in Glass” Opening Reception In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Avenue. (423) 267-9214, www.intowngallery.com Fall Open House 6 p.m. Two Oaks Studio, 100 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 243-3778. Tyner Academy Student Artwork Reception and Sale 6 p.m. Fathom Gallery, 412 Market Street. (423) 757-0019. Bear Hollow Goes Country 6:30 p.m. Bear Hollow Theater, 11885 U.S. Highway 41 South, Monteagle, TN. (866) 764-2327 or (931) 924-2327. The Importance of Being Earnest 7 p.m. Covenant College’s Sanderson Hall Auditorium, 14049 Scenic Highway, Lookout Mountain, GA. dmascow@covenant.edu Naomi in the Living Room 8 p.m. Roland Hayes Concert Hall, UTC Fine Arts Center, 400 Palmetto Street. (423) 425-4269 or (423) 425-4601. In Search of a Midnight Kiss Bijou Theater, 215 Broad Street. (423) 265-5220. www.artsedcouncil.org
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Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com
Concerts & Events Chattanooga History Center’s “With Hooker’s Column” Bus Tour 5 p.m. Chattanooga History Center, 615 Lindsay Street, Suite 100. (423) 265-3247. Opening Reception for Eleanor Goodson Custom-Designed Jewelry 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Avenue. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com UTC Opera Workshop 8 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 615 McCallie Avenue. (423) 425-4269, (423) 425-4612. Presenting the Light Club 8 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market Street. (423) 227-2652. “Looking Beyond” Opening Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. Second Street. (423) 265-503. river-gallery.com Steve Hofstetter 8 p.m. Comedy Catch & Giggles Grill, 3224 Brainerd Road. (423) 629-2233 www.thecomedycatch.com
Saturday Arts
C2C: From Camera to Computer Workshop 10 a.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Avenue. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org Art Club 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Drive. (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org “America I Am” Exhibit 11 a.m. African-American Museum, 200 East ML King Boulevard. (423) 266-8658. www.caamhistory.com 2nd Annual Ella and Abby Art Sale 6 p.m. Winder Binder Gallery of Folk Art, 40 Frazier Avenue. (423) 413-8999. Hunter Museum Spectrum Live Art Auction & Gala 6 p.m. The Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Street. huntermuseum.org Feed Your Brain Poetry Reading 7 p.m. Mocha Joe’s Bistro, 3914 Saint Elmo Avenue. (423) 315-0721 Chattanooga’s Creative Living Circus Theatre 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Avenue. (423) 624-5347. barkinglegs.org In Search of a Midnight Kiss Bijou Theater, 215 Broad Street. (423) 265-5220. www.artsedcouncil.org
Concerts & Events Creation Festival 7 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Avenue. (423) 642-TIXS. chattanooga.gov Ride for Freedom 9:30 a.m. 1108 W 33rd Street, Chattanooga. (423) 756-5558. Dr. Sin-Hsing Tsai Piano Recital 8 p.m. UTC Cadek Recital Hall, 715 Oak Street. (423) 425-4601. Steve Hofstetter 8 p.m. Comedy Catch & Giggles Grill, 3224 Brainerd Road. (423) 629-2233 www.thecomedycatch.com
Sunday Arts
Southeast Veterans Museum 10 a.m. Chattanooga Ducks, 201 W. Fifth Street. (423) 756-3825 www.chattanoogaducks.com
Naomi in the Living Room 7:30 p.m. Roland Hayes Concert Hall, UTC Fine Arts Center, 400 Palmetto Street. (423) 425-4269 or (423) 425-4601. In Search of a Midnight Kiss Bijou Theater, 215 Broad Street. (423) 265-5220. www.artsedcouncil.org
Arts & Music
Concerts & Events
Arts & Music
Chattanooga Market 12 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter Street. (423) 648-2496 www.chattanoogamarket.com UTC Opera Workshop 3 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 615 McCallie Avenue. (423) 425-4269, (423) 425-4612. Contra Dance Spectacular 12 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter Street. ChattanoogaMarket.com 2008 Breast Cancer Network of Strength’s Fashion Show 2 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center. For reservations, call 622-4454. www.networkofstrength.org “A History of Classical Music in 60 Minutes” 3 p.m. UTC University Center Auditorium. (423) 425-4269. Steve Hofstetter 8 p.m. Comedy Catch & Giggles Grill, 3224 Brainerd Road. (423) 629-2233 www.thecomedycatch.com
Pottery Classes 6 p.m. EAC Pottery Studio, 3202 Kelly’s Ferry Road. (423) 987-6692. Auditions for Doubt 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River Street. (423) 267-8534 www.TheatreCentre.com. In Search of a Midnight Kiss Bijou Theater, 215 Broad Street. (423) 265-5220, www.artsedcouncil.org
Honky Tonk Angels Holiday Spectacular 2 p.m. Arts Center of Cannon County, 1424 John Bragg Highway. (615) 563-2787.
Monday
Tuesday
Arts & Music “Hidden Truths in Mysteries”6 p.m. Downtown Bicentennial Library, 1001 Broad Street. (423) 757-5310. In Search of a Midnight Kiss Bijou Theater, 215 Broad Street. (423) 265-5220, www.artsedcouncil.org Chattanooga Writers Guild Meeting 7 p.m. Downtown Library, 1001 Broad Street.
A&EPicks
In Search of a Midnight Kiss What happens when a young man posts a personal ad on Craig’s List? Opens November 7, Bijou Theatre, 215 Broad Street. (423) 267-4232, www.artsedcouncil.org for screening times and prices. Scary Stuff New exhibit focuses on phobias and frights. Free. CreateHere, 55 E. Main Street, Suite 105. (423) 648-2195. createhere.org Object Project Exhibit featuring the work of 15 artists asked to create art using five common objects. $7 admission. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968.
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CSO Masterworks Series: Legends Next up in the CSO’s 75th season is a program including Grieg, Strauss and Stravinsky. (See A&E feature.) $10 to $77 (free for children 12 and younger). 8 p.m. Thursday and Friday.Tivoli Theatre. 709 Broad Street. (423) 267-8583. www. chattanoogasymphony.org Creative Living Circus Theatre Olivia Satine, Queen of Costumes, LeDon, eccentric dancer, Rebekah Mawuko, African dancer, and Kofi Mawuko, flute and drums plus others. $12 advance, $15 door. 8 p.m. Saturday. Barking Legs Theater. 1307 Dodds Avenue. (423) 624-5347. barkinglegs.org
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Arts&Entertainment prefigured 20th-century musical Impressionism and secured his influence on composers from Debussy to Bartok. Yet it was his attention to another musical component that assured Grieg’s enduring legacy among a general audience. “Peer Gynt is a melodic masterpiece,” says Bernhardt. “It is also his most famous piece.” Since Grieg’s day, Peer Gynt’s standout sections have been dear to popular culture. With its sunny flute swells, “Morning Mood” became the go-to piece of the Warner Brothers’ Carl Stalling when a Looney Tunes scene demanded daybreak music. “In the Hall of the Mountain King” has been adapted by Fritz Lang (for his 1931 thriller M), covered by the Who (for their 1967 album The Who Sell Out), and used in commercials by Nabisco. It was no coincidence that Bernhardt selected such a popular piece. Peer Gynt will add color to the lineup, but it will also serve a programmatic purpose. “The vast majority of concerts don’t feature works that attract the general public,” says Bernhardt. “And so this piece should be a wonderful opener.” Bernhardt’s second selection of the evening will be a rondo inspired by a character out of German folklore. Till Eulenspiegel, an infamous miscreant who may have lived during the 14th century, receives a musical resurrection with Richard Strauss’ Till Eulenspiegel’s Merry Pranks (1894), a romp Bernhardt calls “clever, mischievous, complex, and fun.” Strauss wrote his tone-poem on a symphonic scale to match Till’s mythic stature in German literary tradition. The title page of the original score read: “Composed for large orchestra after the old roguish manner.” Accordingly, the orchestra Strauss assembled for the piece included triple winds and eight horns. Bernhardt assured me that his orchestra is ready for the challenge of tackling a work of such Straussian bigness, even while he admitted— albeit cheerfully—that the Tivoli’s concert hall presents his ensemble with certain spatial limitations. “Great European orchestras have
Music Of Legend by Vincent Howard
“With its sunny flute swells, ‘Morning Mood’ became the go-to piece of the Warner Brothers’ Carl Stalling when a Looney Tunes scene demanded daybreak music.”
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“L
egends”, the title of the CSO’s next bill, is an obvious reference to the three featured composers. And for those with a mind toward double entendres, it’s also a nod to their respective works. But Robert Bernhardt, CSO’s resident conductor, suggests one shouldn’t stop there in teasing meanings out of this program’s suggestive designation. “It’s actually a triple-entendre,” he told me in a recent conversation, his tone erudite but playful. “Each piece is also associated with a literary legend.” The program will begin on November 6 with Suite 1 of Peer Gynt, Edvard Grieg’s incidental music for the verse drama by Henrick Ibsen (1876). Ibsen’s Gynt is a Norwegian Everyman who returns home to his love after a long voyage. Gynt’s peripatetic quest for selfdiscovery recalls Homer’s Odysseus. His mantra, “One should try all things and choose the best,” evokes the search of Voltaire’s Candide for “the best of all possible worlds.” To conjure a musical spirit for this character, Grieg combined his early training in Schumann’s piano style with his growing interest in Norwegian folksong. His emphasis on tone and atmosphere in Peer Gynt
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a third more strings than we use,” he says. “And Strauss would have almost doubled what we are able to use. Strauss would use 16 to 18 first violinists. We have 10 to 12. The Tivoli can’t hold that many string musicians. Still, you need as many strings as you can afford.” Though it appears last on the program, Stravinksy’s Firebird Suite was the first of the three pieces to enter Bernhardt’s mind. Few works of modern music would provide a more fitting finale than this sparkling adaptation of a Russian folktale about a hero, Ivan Tsarevich, who rescues 13 maidens from harm with the help of a winged enchanter, the mysterious Firebird. “It’s a very challenging piece,” says Bernhardt, “a wonderful orchestral workout.” Bernhardt modestly describes a work for which most critics sharpen their best superlatives. It is the kind of work at which writers rush to throw words like “exhilarating”, “opulent”, and “coruscating”. The Firebird, which debuted in 1910, was the first of three great scores composed for the Ballets Russes in Paris. It was, in Ted Libbey’s words, “the commission that would change everything,” a piece of “such spectacular brilliance that it set the music establishment of 1910 on its ear,” and whose appearance ushered in “The Big Bang of modern music,” Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring. “If you were to look at pictures of the audiences during early performances of “The Firebird”, you would see people coming out of their chairs,” says Bernhardt. “Stravinsky creates a bucolic mood and then rips it apart.” Given the pastoral quality of Peer Gynt and “Till”, and the similar feel at the start of “The Firebird”, Bernhardt’s program should yield a triple dose of that bucolic mood. Which means all the more layers for his Firebird to tear through. How fitting a finale for a conductor with a taste for triple-entendres.
CSO Masterworks Series: Legends $10 to $77 (free for children 12 and younger) 8 p.m. Thursday, November 6 and Friday, November 7 Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street (423) 267-8583 www.chattanoogasymphony.org
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The Pulse 11.6.08
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OnTheBeat by Alex Teach
Youth and Energy v. Age and Wisdom I
was running around the corner, being careful not to slide in the gravel as I went from paved sidewalk to graveled alleyway. Boots may appear universal in their applications, but running is clearly not one of those applications, and polyester is no more impressive a fashion statement than it is protection when grinding sideways against the ground. I wanted the arrest, but not the road rash that would go with it if I pushed my luck. I had time. Street-level drug dealers are only a symptom of quality of life issues I prefer to address directly, rather than chasing every little pill pusher in sight, only to have him released before my shift ends. I have no desire to pursue them on foot any more than I wish to reduce my carbon footprint by selling my car and cycling to work, but Mr. Patten had been leaning into a car window this breezy summer evening dispensing narcotics to its driver when I cruised past. We had made eye contact as I witnessed the transaction. This wasn’t my “thing”, but when you do it in front of me? Well. There are Rules. He was like everyone else these days: Younger, thinner, and faster than me…but I had the advantage of wisdom. Well—wisdom and a newly issued Taser energy weapon with nitrogen-gas compressed darts. Mr. Patten was increasing his lead as I took aim, recovering from a near fall while wrestling to get the device out of its holster. I fired, and when the darts found their way home 15 feet ahead of me, they caused Mr. Patten to freeze like a silhouette of Wile E. Coyote going into the side of a mountain. He ground to a halt and for five seconds rode what kids on the street were calling “The Chair”, still frozen in a running position, fists balled, teeth grinding. Then, as is the blessing of Tasers, it was over. No broken bones, no cuts, loss of teeth, or exchange of blood or spit or gunfire. Just instant
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pain that was instantly over. Amnesty International may prefer a steel baton, but I at least was a big fan. He considered getting up. I reminded him that my finger was still on a trigger connected by wire to the small probes in his back and left thigh, and he conceded at last. It was only then I looked over my shoulder to see a gentleman leaning against a fence in his back yard reading a newspaper, which, ironically, had a front-page article about our department being issued Taser energy weapons. He looked at the paper, at my client and me, then back again, saying, “No shit.” It was a million-dollar shot but neither he nor my new customer had to know that, so I replied, “No shit” with a knowing wink, playing it off. God, I was such a tool. After collecting a dismal four crack rocks from his clenched palm and having my man checked out at a local emergency room, on the way to jail I noticed him in my rearview mirror swallowing strangely and asked him if he’d swallowed some of the evidence during our jog. “No,” he said, adamantly. Who was I to doubt him? Once inside the booking area, I sat my felon down and began the monotonous paperwork (in triplicate, true to television) and again noticed him craning his neck in discomfort. “Are you sure you didn’t swallow more crack, man?” “No,” he repeated with determination. “Fine with me,” I said. “I can’t treat you if you don’t ask for it, but it’s your ass. But if you did, you’re uncomfortable because the cocaine is elevating your metabolism. You’ll start to sweat and your blood pressure will go up,” I said with conviction, knowing damn well that this is also what happens under stress in general, just as he was entering into. I looked down and began writing as I talked, completely monotone, completely uninterested. He was really paying attention now. “Then you’ll feel tingling in your fingertips as your nervous system reacts. That’s called hypertriculation.” I had just made up the word. “It’s what happens as the coke overloads your heart and nerves, and after that you’ll probably have a seizure before your heart stops beating.
But like you said, you didn’t eat it. I’m sure you’ll be OK.” Mr. Patten shrugged me off and looked away, but slowly began studying his fingertips. I glanced away to smile, just barely holding back laughter. I looked back, and he began to weave, turn ashen in color, and after a while he began to heave, his psychosis being such that while it didn’t affect his nervous system as I had lied it would, it definitely affected his digestive system. Mr. Patten vomited once, then twice, with great effect. Nerves, indeed. For all they see and do, cops dislike blood, and absolutely loathe vomit. Cops can eat a sandwich standing over a corpse in a graveyard, but puke? It offends their cop hearts in some profound way from which I was strangely immune. Prisoners near mine quickly scooted away and the other officers and jailers presented wrinkled their faces in disgust as they stopped work, but they were silent in their protests as I strode over to Mr. Patten, all eyes now focused on us. I stood in front of him, then bent forward, placing my hands on my knees to get a closer view of the product. A moment passed, and I said, “French fries. Krystal. Am I right?” Which, unexpectedly, caused Mr. Patten to vomit yet again, and that was it for the audience, one poor jailer yelling, “JESUS, Teach, what’s WITH you?! GOD, you’re sick. Everytime, you…Go, man. Just go.” I looked up, touching my hand to my chest, eyebrows raised. “What? Me?” I gathered my belongings, and left, a charge nurse in route to my former customer, her new patient. I left, and went to find lunch…but not at the Krystal. Bad fries.
“He was like everyone else these days: Younger, thinner, and faster than me…but I had the advantage of wisdom. And a newly issued Taser energy weapon.”
Alexander D. Teach is an occasional student of UT at Chattanooga. In his spare time he enjoys carpentry, auto mechanic work, boating, and working for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.
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MusicReview “It is definitely not a style for everyone, especially those looking for finely crafted melodic tunes with songcraft and deeper meaning.”
By Kelly Lockhart
O
ur prime pick for this week’s musical outing is the NoogaPalooza festival at Rhythm & Brews on Thursday. Of course, part of that is the fact that The Pulse is a sponsor and that two of the masterminds behind the show are our pals over at themoog.com. But even if we weren’t involved directly, how could we pass up on a lineup that features The Dylan Kussman Band, Taxicab Racers, Jettison Never, The Hey Kids, I Am Band, Sex Head Loosey, Roger Alan Wade, John Myers of Black Diamond Heavies, members of Up With The Joneses, New Binkley Brothers, Butch Ross, Arlo Gilliam, Nathan Farrow, Dana Rogers, Noah Collins, Gabriel Zane, Ben Scoggins, Ernie Dempsey, Amanda Cagle and Tommy Davis. Let’s face it, that’s an incredible lineup of local and regional talent. So what could possibly top NoogaPalooza? Well, “top” may not be the appropriate word, but phrases like “decidedly different”, “a change of pace” and “are you out of your mind?” are more appropriate to describe AIDS Wolf, playing at JJ’s Bohemia on Friday. When asked to describe the sound of his band, legendary ’70s rocker
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Captain Beefheart explained it was akin to “a squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag.” The Canadian foursome of AIDS Wolf not only has embraced the Captain, but have moved sonically into the musical realm better known as “noise rock”. Noise rock came of age in the turbulent underground music world if the mid-’80s as part of the postpunk movement. It has all the typical trapping of rock bands— guitars, drums, colorful stage clothes and so forth—but incorporates atonality and most especially dissonance and quite often utterly discards conventional songwriting. AIDS Wolf comes to Chattanooga from their home on Montreal this Friday as part of a quick round of North American shows before they depart on a extensive tour of Europe in support of their second fulllength release Cities of Glass. They bring with them a reputation for unusual stage shows combined with a fondness for odd stage clothing and unexpected musical interactions with their audience. As to the origin of their name, it comes from an urban legend wherein wolves carry AIDS and pass it to house pets who then pass it on to people. “We didn’t come up with AIDS Wolf as a concept. The idea has been floating around in the public psyche for a while,” explains lead vocalist Chloe (who sometimes adopts the stage name of “Special Deluxe”). “In urban legend, wolves transmit
The Pulse 11.6.08
AIDS instead of rabies; in depressing college towns, street gangs spraypaint ‘AIDS Wolf’ on the side of buildings. My partner and I were on a road trip in Ohio, and it just came to us. It was a universal message. It’s a combination of our spirit peers in An Albatross and The Sick Lipstick. It fits, because we’re a little bit no–wave and a little bit hardcore, like each of those bands. It’s also a message that we as humans must take care for our animal siblings as their health is a barometer of our own survival.” Their sound has been described in a variety of colorful ways, such as “a mangled siren of sounding off while a distraught woman screams bloody murder”, “two bass guitars thrown into a trash compactor while still plugged in”, and “a pack of neon-purple, pixelated mega-wolves—complete with ringwraith shrieks—chasing down a super-squeaky mouse of the future (also neon purple).” It is definitely not a style for everyone, especially those looking for finely crafted melodic tunes with songcraft and deeper meaning. However, if you’re in the mood to just say “to hell with it all” and immerse yourself in a sonic assault, then an AIDS Wolf experience should be in your immediate future.
AIDS Wolf, Dynamite Club, Giant Tigers $5 10 p.m., Friday, November 7 231 MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia
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MusicCalendar Thursday
Clubs/DJ/Dance DJ Steven G The Mix. 405 Market St. (423) 266-3662. Live DJ Nightly The Palms at Hamilton. 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 667-6473. Beach Music Chattanooga Billiard Club East. 110 Jordan Drive. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com
Karaoke Amigo’s 5450 Hwy 153. (423) 875-8049. Bourbon Street Music Bar 2000 East 23rd Street. (423) 697-9957. The Chattanoogan Hotel The Chattanoogan. 1201 Broad Street. (423) 424-3740 chattanooganhotel.com Images 6005 Lee Highway. (423) 855-8210. Miss Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Hwy 58. (423) 485-0966. Red Lantern 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. Rob’s 5308 Dayton Blvd. (423) 875-6164.
Night Life Throw Back 80’s at Club Drink 7 p.m. Club Drink 5647 Brainerd Rd. (423) 553-6645. www.partyatthedrink.com Acoustic Jam Session 7 p.m. Soddy-Daisy Community Center. 190 Depot Street. (423) 332-4901. College Night at Midtown Midtown Music Hall. 820 Georgia Avenue. (423) 752-1977. midtownmusichall.com Bikes & Bikinis at Drink Chattanooga Food & Drink. 5647 Brainerd Road. (423) 553-6645. partyatdrink.com Open Mic Night 9:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern. 850 Market Street. (423) 266-1996. www.marketstreettavern.com.
Send your music events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com
Red Lantern 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. Rob’s 5308 Dayton Blvd. (423) 875-6164. Striker’s Lounge at Holiday Bowl Striker’s Lounge at Holiday Bowl. 5518 Brainerd Road. (423) 899-2695. The Sports Page 8182 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 855-2100. Track’s Sports Bar and Grill 4321 Ringgold Road. (423) 698-4849.
Eric Nelson. 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia. 231 MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbomemia
Night Life
Sunday
Live Performances
Night Life
Karaoke
Ladies Night at Club Drink Club Drink. 5647 Brainerd Road. (423) 553-6645. www.partyatdrink.com
Rob’s 5308 Dayton Blvd. (423) 875-6164.
Live Performances AIDS Wolf, Dynamite Club, Giant Tigers. 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia. 231 MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbomemia David Sterchi Band at Rhythm & Brews 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market Street. (423) 267-4644. rhythm-brews.com
Saturday
Female Impersonation and Male Revue Images. 6005 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. Live DJ Nightly The Palms at Hamilton. 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 667-6473. Mixmaster Danny Williams The Mix. 405 Market St. (423) 266-3662. Chattanooga’s Wildest Dance Party with DJ Atari Club Fathom. 412 Market Street. (423) 757-0019. www.clubfathom.com DJ Spaceghost Club Drink. 5647 Brainerd Road. (423) 553-6645. www.partyatdrink.com
Karaoke
Karaoke
Night Life
Electric Cowboy 5600 Brainerd Rd # A4. (423) 499-1995. FANatics 7601 E Brainerd Rd. (423) 894-2524. Legends Bar and Grill 5530 Hixson Pike. (423) 843-2695. Miss Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Hwy 58. (423) 485-0966. Mudpie Restaurant 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043.
Red Clay Pickin’ Barn 7 p.m. Red Clay Pickin’ Barn, Weatherly Switch @ Old Lead Mine Valley Road, Cleveland, TN. (423) 240-3439.
Friday
Clubs/DJ/Dance
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Live Performances Tony Wayne and the Pain, Mockingbirds 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia. 231 MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbomemia
Monday
Clubs/DJ/Dance Night Life
Clubs/DJ/Dance
Female Impersonation and Male Revue Images. 6005 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. Live DJ Nightly The Palms at Hamilton. 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 667-6473. DJ Steven G The Mix. 405 Market St. (423) 266-3662. Girls Gone Wild Ladies Night Chattanooga Food and Drink. 5647 Brainerd Rd. (423) 553-6645.
NoogaPaiooza. 7 p.m. to 2 a.m. Rhythm & Brews. 221 Market Street. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com
DJ Steven G The Mix. 405 Market St. (423) 266-3662. Amatuer Talent Night Images. 6005 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210.
Mix Master Danny Williams The Mix. 405 Market St. (423) 266-3662.
Bud’s Sports Bar 5914 Lee Hwy. (423) 499-9878. Electric Cowboy 5600 Brainerd Rd #A4. (423) 499-1995. FANatics 7601 E Brainerd Rd. (423) 894-2524. Fireside Lounge 4021 Hixson Pike. (423) 870-7078. Gene’s Bar and Grill 724 Ashland Terrace. (423) 870-0880. Legends Bar and Grill 5530 Hixson Pike. (423) 843-2695. Miss Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Hwy 58. (423) 485-0966. Red Lantern 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. Rob’s 5308 Dayton Blvd. (423) 875-6164. Striker’s Lounge at Holiday Bowl Striker’s Lounge at Holiday Bowl. 5518 Brainerd Road. (423) 899-2695. The Sports Page 8182 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 855-2100.
Live Performances
Clubs/DJ/Dance
Live Performances Abbey Road Live at Rhythm & Brews 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market Street. (423) 267-4644. rhythm-brews.com Sequatchie Valley Institute Benefit for the Beehive Collective with ADDC, Oyga,
Mote & Friends Open Mike Nite Midtown Music Hall. 821 Georgia Avenue. (423) 752-1977. midtownmusichall.com
Tuesday
Clubs/DJ/Dance DJ Shocker at The Mix 8 p.m. The Mix. 405 Market Street, Chattanooga. (423) 266-3662.
Open Mic Night 8:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern. 1203 Hixson Llopluroderm, Born Empty, Look What I Did 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia. 231 MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbomemia
Wednesday
Clubs/DJ/Dance DJ Stephen G & Mixmaster Danny Williams 8 p.m. The Mix. 405 Market Street. (423) 266-3662. themixchattanooga.com Dollar Beer Night at Midtown 4 p.m. Midtown Music Hall. 820 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com
Karaoke Karaoke at Walt’s 8 p.m. Walt’s Fireplace and Lounge. 6238 Bonny Oaks Drive. (423) 485-9080. Untypical Karaoke W/Pokey Nintendo 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiard Club. 110 Jordan Road. (423) 499-3883.
Live Performances Bill Evans & Soulgrass featuring Sam Bush 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market Street. (423) 267-4644 www.rhythm-brews.com. Ben Friberg Trio. 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern. 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260.
MusicPicks Ben Friberg Trio Classy jazz with the classy Ben and his boys. No cover. 8 p.m. Wednesday. Market Street Tavern. 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. AIDS Wolf, Dynamite Club, Giant Tigers Another eclectic sonic evening at JJ’s Bohemia. $5. 10 p.m. Friday. JJ’s Bohemia. 231 MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. Sequatchie Valley Institute Benefit for the Beehive Collective with ADDC, Oyga, Eric Nelson NoogaPalooza Do not miss this chance to see a Hipsters SVI help out hipsters Beehive, who create free graphic whole lotta local talent on stage images for hipster organizations in a benefit for new musicians’ and movements. organization Re:Sound. $10. $5. 10 p.m. Saturday. JJ’s 7 p.m.-2 a.m. Thursday. Rhythm and Brews. 221 Market St. (423) Bohemia. 231 MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. 267-4644. rhythm-brews.com
The Pulse 11.6.08
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CDReviews by Ernie Paik Windy & Carl Songs for the Broken Hearted (Kranky)
Hearted to be more of the same, but for newcomers, it’s as good a starting place as any other, with a hypnotic, mildly abrasive, yet soothing atmosphere that surrounds a listener like an electric blanket on a bed of feathers and straw.
Ida My Fair, My Dark
Formless, ambient music often can remain in the background and serve its purpose no matter how much or little attention is given to it; forefather Brian Eno even wrote in the liner notes of his album Music for Airports, “[Ambient music] must be as ignorable as it is interesting.” The sounds of Windy & Carl, comprised of guitarist Carl Hultgren and bassist Windy Weber from Dearborn, Michigan, may gently and softly remain in the lower depths of one’s consciousness, but they’re best heard under different conditions. Unlike most ambient music artists, Windy & Carl create songs that are most effective when played very loudly—preferably, loud enough to shake things and completely envelope a person. Of course, rock music also works when played loudly, but in that case, a strong beat or catchy riff is something transferred through a head nod or a toe tap, which the listener carries. With Windy & Carl, it’s the other way around; their percussion-free, amorphous music carries the listener. Regarding the duo’s latest album Songs for the Broken Hearted, it’s not off base to call their effect-laden sound space-rock, ambient noise, shoegazer, or drone-rock; call it anything but New Age—the controlled roars and fuzz keep it from going into that territory. “Champion” is the oddball track here, eschewing the trademark sonic fog for actual defined notes, although with softened edges, enhanced by Windy providing her typically calm, dreamy vocals on top. The 10-minute long “Rhodes” reveals the twosome at its best, with a thick, hopeful concoction of synthetic, kneaded swirls, and the perfectly titled “Snow Covers Everything” features a repeated, tinkling glockenspiel pattern and may appeal to devotees of the Cocteau Twins album Victorialand. Windy & Carl fans may find a bit of Songs for the Broken
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The Pulse 11.6.08
(Polyvinyl) Some high-minded music auteurs may turn up their noses at performing cover songs, but for the New York trio Ida, it’s a joyful and reverent expression of fandom and an act of sharing, as in the folk tradition with which they’re familiar. This is a band that on occasion has covered some of their favorite albums live, in entirety or near-entirety, including Prince’s Dirty Mind and Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk. The new seven-song EP My Fair, My Dark follows their stunning album Lovers Prayers released earlier this year and includes a handful of covers, including the title track written by member Karla Schickele’s late uncle, David, the brother of Peter Schickele (best known as P.D.Q. Bach.) Like the similarly mellow and melancholic artist Mark Kozelek (of Sun Kil Moon and Red House Painters), Ida takes cover songs and transmutes them so that they sound like one of their own creations, exemplified on their contemplative cover of Anne Briggs’s English folk song “The Time Has Come.” On the group’s take of John Martyn’s “Road to Ruin,” handclaps provide a beat underneath a harmonium and sparse notes from a piano and spacey guitar, played by founding member Dan Littleton; the always-gorgeous vocalist Elizabeth Mitchell sings with a surefooted and good-tempered manner, and the song ends before reaching the folk-jazz-funk jam of the original. Dolly Parton’s “The Pain of Loving You” is performed in a bluegrass style with a moderate tempo, ample harmonizing, mandolin and guitar strums, and viola playing by guest Michael Hurley. The best cover song, though, is the title track, which features lulling harmonium chords and pedal steel flourishes; these befit the enigmatic lyrics, which describe a triple-personality: “My baby comes in threes: empress, orphan and tease…and I never know which to please.” Among the three original tunes on My Fair, My Dark are a well-recorded live version of “Late Blues” and the EP’s most interesting number, “Still Life,” with a mid-song three-part vocal section sung uncharacteristically separated, rather than blended. On My Fair, My Dark, three is a magic number in more ways than one.
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LifeInTheNoog by Chuck Crowder
WhenDo-It-Yourself Meets Don’t-Do-It-Yourself “I’ve been lit up a few times (see beer/ electricity/ breaker box) and I have the scars and stories of good intentions that turned into ‘don’t look too closely at that.’”
I
’m pretty damn proud of myself at the moment. I just completed the seemingly simple task of hanging a new light fixture in my dining “area”. That may not sound like much, but after about five beers watching Sunday afternoon NFL with my buddies, the fact that I completed the task in less than 30 minutes without major problems or a future trip to Ace Hardware constitutes a modern miracle. You see, I am a male homeowner, and nothing puts the “yourself” in “do it yourself” quite like that. But more importantly, I am an older male homeowner, this being my third house, which means my tolerance for quasi “simple” tasks is by now at a cuss-wrenching minimum. Hence my pride has me gleefully enjoying my sixth beer of the day while writing this. As a homeowner, I have run the gamut of home
improvement, from the simple coat of fresh paint and “hire it done”
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of my first home, to the “why am I paying someone to do that” of my second. My third home is a brandnew townhouse with minimal tasks at hand. Mainly it’s replacing stuff that the contractor cheapedout on, like the dining area fixture, which was nothing more than a $9 IKEA Chinese lantern. I am no novice to the trials and tribulations of do-it-yourself home improvement. I’ve been lit up a few times (see beer/electricity/ breaker box) and I have the scars and stories of good intentions that turned into “don’t look too closely at that.” I have discovered some tricks of the trade and have plenty of what not-to-dos ready for any young homeowner who would care to listen (and buy me my seventh beer). However, I’ve noticed that unless your affiliation with an advisor includes the title of “son-in-law,” those tidbits of helpful info are usually kept close to the vest in order to generate laughs when you hear a young buck’s tales. Which brings us to my second home. I purchased what might be described as a jewel in the realm of “unique fixer uppers.” A sweet old home in Red Bank, one owner, who hadn’t changed a thing since 1959. In fact, the entire interior of the home, trim and all, was painted psychiatric-ward green. There was even matching green carpet covering up untouched hardwood floors. My visions for the place were nothing less than the grandiose “shithouse to showhouse” design stylings of any program on channels 20 and above. But design within reach involves doing as much as you can with
The Pulse 11.6.08
as little money as you can warm up. That means investing as much elbow grease into any project as Home Depot receipts. So in order to turn One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest into Gone With The Wind, I had to quickly develop some tool belt skills, fast. I may not have mentioned this yet, but back then when it came to the inner workings of the average home (or power tools) my knowledge stopped at “so what does that do?” But with the insight and help of many friends, and a lot of “so THAT’s what that does” I was able to gain a basic knowledge of (and respect for) plumbing, electricity, plaster repair, deck building, wood-floor refinishing, exterminating, landscaping and (most importantly) pulling permits. This brings us around to my current home. When one reaches their late 30s, there is a little voice inside that says each and every time that unique fixer-upper bug bites, ignore it, and “buy new, hire it done.” Whether it’s looking for your next address or cleaning out a gutter, nobody I know is willing (or able in most cases) to lift a finger past writing a check. But as I polish off my last swig of beer, my attention is once again turned to the beaming new light fixture I just installed. I even put a 100-watt bulb in it, just so it would shine a little brighter. Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his wildly popular website thenoog.com for hip Chattacentric shirts and stickers.
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OnScreen I
t’s always a thrill when Clint Eastwood directs a new movie. As intriguing as he was when playing Dirty Harry and The Man with No Name, Eastwood is even more fascinating as a director of films than as their star. The former action star is a master at building thoughtful, character-driven stories, which is one of the reasons he has two Oscar statuettes on his mantel today. Eastwood’s latest project, Changeling, isn’t quite in the same league as Unforgiven or Million Dollar Baby, but it is an absorbing period mystery that offers Angelina Jolie another shot at Oscar gold. The place is Los Angeles, the year is 1928, and single mom Christine Collins (Jolie) faces a parent’s worst nightmare: Her son has disappeared. Months pass, and the LAPD finally show up with miraculous news about little Walter Collins (Gattlin Griffith)—he’s alive and well. However, the joyous reunion Christine anticipates is derailed when she realizes the little boy the cops have brought to her is not her son. Desperate to bask in the glow of publicity following a job well done, the corrupt authorities would rather destroy a mother’s reputation than be submitted to public ridicule. In short order, Christine finds herself accused of being an unfit mother and a candidate for the psychiatric ward, but she also finds inspiration in her struggle through a charismatic clergyman (John Malkovich). As with all of Eastwood’s period films, the costumes and sets are nigh-on perfect, and Eastwood himself composed the thoughtful score. Jolie is excellent, demonstrating (like her
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Eastwood and Jolie are in top form by Jonathan Malcolm Lampley
director) a much wider emotional range than the shoot-em-ups that are her bread and butter might indicate. The entire supporting cast is strong, particularly young Griffith in a complicated and demanding role. Changeling is not perfect—it has already taken some heat for fudging some of the facts in this true story—but it is the sort of solid, impressive work we have come to expect from one of Hollywood’s elder statesmen and master storytellers. Changeling Rated R Directed by Clint Eastwood Starring Angelina Jolie, Gattlin Griffith, John Malkovich Running time: 2 hours, 20 minutes Check locsl theater listings for showtimes and ticket prices.
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“It is the sort of solid, impressive work we have come to expect from one of Hollywood’s elder statesmen and master storytellers.”
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The Pulse 11.6.08
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ShadesOfGreen Chattanooga’s Carbon Footprint: Leaving Tracks On My Nice Clean City by Mary Duffy
L
ast week the Ochs Center for Metropolitan Studies released part of their 2008 State of Chattanooga Region Report. The portion, the second of seven on policy issues affecting the Chattanooga area, focuses on the environment in Chattanooga. Although the report had a lot of interesting facts about air quality, development, parks, stream health and industrial pollution, I thought the most interesting fact dealt with what is becoming my bête noire: the carbon footprint. The carbon footprint is simply the units of carbon dioxide produced by a given entity, often expressed in tons of carbon per annum. This figure is generally thought to be indicative of one’s impact on the environment, so the lower the number, the smaller your footprint. You’ve probably calculated yours using a worksheet quiz or maybe an online calculator. You get points for where you live, the kind of car you drive, how long you commute, how big your house is, whether you eat a lot or no meat, and lots of other little factors. These help determine how detrimental you are to the environment just by getting up every day and going to work. Chattanooga’s per capita carbon footprint is 3.11 metric tons. This figure represents emissions from residential energy use and transportation. The highest per capita carbon emissions award in the nation goes to Lexington,
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Kentucky, which is tops with 3.81 metric tons per person per year. Having visited Lexington last year, I’m not too surprised; it’s a lovely town, but the part I saw must have been the world’s longest commercial strip—mile after mile of nothing but shopping centers, hotels, shopping malls, car dealerships, and storefronts. People must live in their cars in Lexington. Kentuckians are not alone, however. TN, KY, and OH represent a cluster with the highest emissions around. We’re way at the top of the list. No one wants to hear that we need to break off our love affair with the automobile and think more sensibly about choosing where we live, where we work, and how we’re going to get from one place to the next. Being a rain-orshine bike commuter, I already have to work overtime not to sound self-righteous. Urban planning is boring stuff, so I’ll skip over the transportation part. Like urbanplanning issues, reducing emissions from residential energy consumption requires us to think about infrastructure. I applaud people like Leaf Myczack (last week’s column) who are doing what they can to use alternative energy sources in their private homes or businesses. But even if we had billions of federal funds to plaster solar panels over every rooftop in Arizona (330 days of sunshine a year) and put up wind turbines
along the Pacific coast, do we have a way to distribute that power from where it’s collected to where it’s needed? I’m not an electrical engineer, but I’m guessing the answer is no. If only we had an administration willing to create thousands of new jobs and billions of solar/wind kilowatt hours through a new Green Works Public Administration. The short-term answer to reducing electricity consumption is, surprisingly, a rate hike! While I’m about as happy as a wet hen about a bigger EPB bill, it turns out that in states like New York, which has a much lower per capita footprint, power to the home costs more than twice as
“Chattanooga’s per capita carbon footprint is 3.11 metric tons. This figure represents emissions from residential energy use and transportation.”
much as in Kentucky and Ohio. The highest per capita rates are found in states where the power is cheapest. Looks like Chattanooga just got a 20 percent incentive to be greener. Mary Duffy moved to Chattanooga from the East Coast back in June of 2007. She’s a writer by avocation, a Girl Friday by profession, and leads as peripatetic a life as possible.
The Pulse 11.6.08
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Free Will Astrology
By Rob Brezsny
JONESIN’
By Matt Jones
“’Tis The Season”
– for once, I hope you don’t catch on. ARIES (March 21-April 19): Uranus is on the opposite side of the sun from Saturn right now. To traditional astrologers, that’s a stressful aspect. It bespeaks a titanic clash between the forces of progress and the inertia of the past. But there are mitigating factors. The expansive planet Jupiter is trine to Saturn and sextile to Uranus, suggesting that unexpected grace may provide beauty and healing during these strenuous moments of truth. I predict that’s what will occur in your personal life, Aries. You’re well-situated to navigate smartly through the brouhaha. For best results, respect the old ways, but not so much that it slows down your exuberant quest for the most interesting possible future. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Every year my friend Jim travels to Cabos San Lucas in Baja California to participate in a deep-sea fishing competition. He says the best way to catch the big fish is with actual bait in the form of smaller fish. But marlins can be fooled into getting snagged with merely pretty lures— colorful fabrications that look like food but are actually made of metal, wood, plastic, and rubber. Jim says that hammerhead sharks, on the other hand, will never bite the fake bait. They’re too smart, insisting on the real thing. I suggest you use this information as an allegory in the coming weeks, Taurus. You may find it to your advantage to get yourself “caught” by a metaphorical fisherperson, but only if he or she is offering you the authentic bait, not a simulation. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When the air is pure and clean, a bee can smell a flower from 3,281 feet. The presence of pollution severely cripples the bee’s awareness of floral scents, however, reducing its range to 650 feet. Consider the possibility that this is a metaphor for what has been happening to you recently, Gemini. Have you suffered a reduction in your sensitivity to sources of nourishment? Are you oblivious to gifts and blessings that could be available to you if you only knew about them? According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this is quite possible. Luckily, you’re reading this horoscope, which will surely motivate you to overcome the problem. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Dolphins love erotic play, according to the book Dolphin Chronicles. For almost a third of their waking life, they caress and touch each other. They’re ingenious about using their Frisbees, plastic boats, and rubber balls as sex toys. Gender isn’t much of an issue. There’s as much samesex as opposite-sex cavorting. If you’d like to place yourself in alignment with cosmic rhythms, Cancerian, you will consider taking a page from the dolphin Kama Sutra in the coming days. Remember, the key for them is simply to play freely without any specific goal. Bliss comes as much from experimenting with creative intimacy as from driving toward orgasm. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): One of my friends on Facebook describes her vocation as “Hammer of the Gods.” Her task in life, she says, is to be a tool that the divine powers wield as they nail together raw materials to make useful structures. While I don’t know if that’s also one of your long-range goals, Leo, I do know that it describes a role you’d thrive in during the coming weeks. So how about it? Are you ready to upgrade your game in order to be the best hammer of the gods you can possibly be? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m not necessarily suggesting that you read Al Franken’s book The Truth (with Jokes). But I do recommend that you make that title your motto in the coming week. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, there will be no such thing as truth without jokes, at least for you. Every situation you need to know more about will, if you investigate it, reveal some amusing riddle. All the information that’ll be important for you to gather will lead you in the direction of laughter. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Some years back, I maxed out my credit cards to pay for recording
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my band’s CD. Soon afterwards, following a few financial setbacks, I was close to declaring bankruptcy. Luckily, my parents stepped in and bailed me out. (Thanks, Mom and Dad!) Since then, I’ve rigorously kept my debts to a minimum. That policy has, on occasion, cramped my style, but it looks pretty wise in light of the current financial crunch. Please draw inspiration from my experience, Libra. Take inventory of any patterns in your own life that may be distorting your ability to get the money and resources you need. This is an excellent time to flush your old conditioning and imprint yourself with good, new habits. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Many times in my life,” says philosopher Eckhardt Tolle, “it has been my experience that the most powerful starting point for any endeavor is not the question ‘What do I want?’, but what does Life (God, Consciousness) want from me? How do I serve the whole?” I offer that meditation to you, Scorpio, as you slip into the heart of the reinvent yourself phase of your cycle. It’s time to stage a grand reopening, launch a new (relation)ship, or instigate a fresh batch of good trouble. As you whip up the initiatory energy, ask the Big Cosmic Thou where it would like you to go and what it would love you to do. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth,” says Ishmael in Herman Melville’s novel Moby Dick, “whenever it is damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses . . . it [is] high time to get to the sea as soon as I can.” Use this passage as an inspirational kick-in-theass, Sagittarius. There’s no need for you to sink into the emotional abyss Ishmael describes. Fix yourself before you’re broken! Get to the sea immediately, and prevent the grey glumness from taking over. If there’s no ocean nearby, then try the next best things: Walk along a river or lake. Immerse yourself for long stretches in baths and saunas and heated pools. Cry and sweat and come abundantly. Listen to music that makes you feel like you’re floating. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): This is the Week of the Upside-Down Rainbow. It’s a time when signs of good fortune are everywhere, but always with some odd twist or anomalous feature. Should you worry that the tweaks mean there’s some mischief at work? Does it suggest you will have to pay a price for the breakthroughs that are coming? I don’t think so. My interpretation of the upside-down rainbow (or the five-leaf clover or the torn $10 bill you find on the street) is that you will be asked to expand your capacities in order to take full advantage of the unusual blessings. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Should you go with the flow or should you try to wheedle, manipulate, and entice the flow to go with you? This is one of those rare times when I advocate the latter approach. The flow is currently in an indecisive state, when it could go one of several different ways. You have cosmic authorization to nudge it in the direction that looks to you like it will be the best for the most people. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the sci-fi film The Matrix, a small band of people have managed to escape from the collective hallucination that most of their fellow humans are stuck inside. Though life is hard staying free, there are some perks. They can, for instance, get downloads of data directly into their brains that allow them to quickly master complex tasks. In this way, the heroine, Trinity, learns to fly a helicopter in a few minutes. I call your attention to these fictional events, Pisces, because I think you’re close to pulling off real-life accomplishments that resemble them. First, you’re in an excellent position to slip away from certain illusions that enslave some of the people around you. Second, you have an enormous power to rapidly understand new information and acquire new skills. Homework: Tell me how this year’s election process and its results are changing your life. Testify at www.FreeWillAstrology.com
Across 1 Pre-1995 NFL player now based in St. Louis 6 Teensy 9 The Mars Volta guitarist ___ Rodriguez-Lopez 13 Actress Massey of “Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man” 14 Newbie’s Internet pages 15 Little thoroughbred 16 Major League Baseball commissioner Bud 17 Hair color that makes you look like former NFLer Doug? 19 The urge to go to a school dance? 21 Green prefix 22 Helper (abbr.) 23 It’s taken on a trip? 26 “___ and the Power of Juju” (Nickelodeon cartoon) 29 What Spider-Man slings 31 Burn on the outside 32 Frappe need 33 Diarist Nin 36 Knock-off board game suffix found after “Dino,” “Dog,” or “Ocean” 37 Get in the way of a log ride? 40 Swindled 41 Letter flourish 42 Milk source 43 Prefix used with some hormones 44 Abbr. after a phone number, on a business card
45 Weather vane dir. 46 Armenia or Azerbaijan, once (abbr.) 47 Make it through 51 “Now I get it!” 53 Tragic Greek figure with stomach acid problems? 59 The blue liquid used in diaper commercials, perhaps? 61 Animal hunted by Sarah Palin 62 Pizzeria fixture 63 Sea eagles 64 It really gets boring 65 “No sweat!” 66 Abbr. describing British pounds 67 Moves heavily
Down 1 Have trouble with “sisters,” maybe? 2 Ray, Jay, or A, e.g. 3 Nestle caramel-filled chocolate candy 4 “Princess Mononoke” genre 5 Imaginary item that fixes everything 6 When doubled, a Washington town or onion 7 Shaffer play currently on Broadway 8 Rob of “90210” 9 Cartel that includes Iraq and Venezuela 10 First draft of a McMansion, maybe 11 “Is it ___ wonder?”
12 Deli bread 14 Really, really loud, on sheet music 18 Passbook abbr. 20 To ___ (incessantly) 24 Smoked fish 25 What there’s not one of during a tearjerker movie 26 Contributes 10% 27 Unlike this entry 28 Typing instructor’s concern 30 Barry White, notably 31 Sgt.’s underling 34 Suffix meaning “follower” 35 Hurting 36 In uncharted territory, so to speak 38 ___ Lingus 39 “WALL-E” production company 47 Printable format 48 Fox News Channel CEO Roger 49 Gush 50 Taking to court 52 Run ___ of the law 54 “___, meeny, miney, moe...” 55 1960s campus protest gp. restarted in 2006 56 LGBT-themed network owned by CBS 57 Like lots of items posted on Craigslist 58 Generation ___ (1970s babies) 59 Friend’s counterpart 60 Actress Gardner
©2008 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0387.
The Pulse 11.6.08
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!
AskAMexican! Special Canadian Edition
Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net
by Gustavo Arellano
Dear Readers, So your presidential candidate lost (congratulations; McBama! Our condolences, O’Cain. Damn early deadlines…), and you can’t bear the thought of living under his reign for the next cuatro years. Fear not: the other side of America’s bullshit sandwich will save you! The Mexican hereby turns this column over to his Canadian fans—but first, a comment about my two-weeks-old column explaining Mexico’s love for Clamato: Dear Mexican, It was a true moment of bookending the United States with Mexico and Canada that I read that Mexicans enjoy Clamato the way Canadians do. The True North Strong and Free has a favoured drink (the Caesar) made with Clamato. It is similar to a Bloody Mary, but way, way better—and spicy, to boot! So don’t wonder so much that Mexicans love Clamato, but instead wonder why Americans do not love it as much as both of their neighbours. — Quebecois Cutie Gracias, Hoser, for your comment. Now, on to la question: Dear Mexican. Here in Canada, we have a huge problem with illegals coming up from the south, mainly to escape Bush or for our free health care. The solution is inspired by the same damned Yankees that we need to keep out: build a big wall. Problem is, we could
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never get enough people to build a wall like that. Do you think we can get some Mexicans to help us build this wall? Please make sure there are some single hotties in the group—I would love to have a Mexican novio. — Canadian Gringita Dear Hoser, Por supuesto. And with your generous offer, I think Mexicans can finally get over their hatred of the proposed U.S.-Mexico border muro. Let’s wall those gabachos in, compañeros. Let’s deny them our cheap labor and chalupas and Canada’s affordable medicine. You betcha gabachos would make more incursions across both of our fences than a Sidney Crosby-shot hockey puck past a goalie. Dear Mexican, There was a sports controversy in Australia (because here, sports rates above the drought). Cricket authorities banned the Mexican Wave (what Americans call “The Wave”) from major sporting events because apparently people would get hit by any stray object flying out of people’s hands while performing said Wave. I know the Wave first received international notice during the 1986 FIFA World Cup in Mexico, but Wikipedia says it might’ve been created in Vancouver for a marketing campaign for a soccer team called the Whitecaps. So, wouldn’t it be called the Canadian Wave? Because Wikipedia says the Commonwealth refer to it as the
Mexican Wave. At least, that’s how I read it. — Confused and Nasally Congested Dear Aussie, Finally, the Mexican has found a dumber race than Guatemalans! Relying on Wikipedia for your information is like relying on a Mexican to handle immigration policy. No one knows the true origins of the Wave, except that Mexico didn’t create the crowd-stretcher—the earliest reference I could find for it in the Nexis database was a June 1, 1986 Toronto Star dispatch from that year’s World Cup calling the Mexican wave an “odious North American import.” As to why the English-speaking world except the United States refers to this sporting phenomenon as the Mexican Wave…do I really have to answer that pregunta? Dear Mexican, Being from Canada, most of our Mexican knowledge comes to us second-hand through the U.S. media. What we always hear about are the jobs that are refused by Americans, yet sought (or endured) by Mexicans. But are there any jobs Mexicans won’t touch, whether for cultural reasons or others? What jobs do Mexicans take that other Mexicans look down on them for? — Canuck Needs News Dear CNN, Newspaper columnist.
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¡ASK A MEXICAN CONTEST! Want a free copy of my latest book, Orange County: A Personal History, the finest book published in los Estados Unidos since last year’s surprise smash, ¡Ask a Mexican!? First person from each paper I appear in (and the first five fregones from ignorant backwaters that don’t carry the Mexican) to send me a picture of themselves standing next to a stop sign with a bag of oranges or some type of fruit gets a copy. Make sure to sell those oranges while you’re posing! Send pictures to Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1443, Anaheim, CA 92805.
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