Pulse5_50

Woodstock Comes To Chattanooga For More Peace & Love

by Gary Poole

FREE

December 11, 2008 Volume 5 • Issue 50

CONTENTS T H E P U L S E • C H AT TA N O O G A , T E N N E S S E E • D E C E M B E R 1 1 , 2 0 0 8 • V O L U M E 5 , I S S U E 5 0

COVER STORY

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NEWS & VIEWS 5 PULSE BEATS

23 LIFE IN THE ‘NOOG

The newsy, notable and notorius.

Where did Christmas go?

7 SHRINK RAP

26 SHADES OF GREEN

Surviving Grief, II.

Invasion of the little green houses.

13 ON THE BEAT

30 ASK A MEXICAN

“How I Learned To Love The Herb”

Special Guadalupe edition.

ARTS & CULTURE 14 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT By Janis Hashe Movin’ Out arrives for one night only at the Memorial Friday. Joel fans will not want to miss this one—but be aware this is not a traditional musical, but a series of Tharp-style dances bound together by a “plot” of sorts, the story of kids growing up on Long Island during the ’60s.

15 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT By Michael Crumb The aesthetics of abstract art can be both diverse and complex, and I believe that abstract pieces of sufficient substance will continue to keep the viewer visually engaged with the work over time, regularly providing fresh insights. Marcel Duchamp’s work has been a particular source of inspiration for Mark Leaman.

25 FILM FEATURE

By Janis Hashe If Hollywood remains a Boys’ Club to the nth degree, it also remains a White Boys’ Club to a very large degree. So for that reason alone, Cadillac Records, written and directed by Darnell Jones, stands out. Jones, who is known primarily as a TV director, also directed 1994’s well-regarded independent I Like It Like That and 2001’s generally-regarded-to-be-a-mess Prison Song.

Photograph by Jean-Marc Lubrano

WHAT A LONG STRANGE TRIP INDEED

by Gary Poole From the day he set foot on a stage in Bethel, New York to kick off what became the greatest music festival of all time, Richie Havens has lived the Woodstock credo of peace, love and brotherhood.

“I really sing songs that move me. I’m not in show business; I’m in the communications business. That’s what it’s about for me.”

Havens brings his soulful sound and idealism to Rhythm & Brews.

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EDITOON LETTERS TO THE EDITOR STREET PULSE THE LIST POLICE BLOTTER CHATTANOOGA STREET SCENES

16 19 20 28 28 29

A&E CALENDAR NEW MUSIC REVIEWS MUSIC CALENDAR FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN’ CROSSWORD INCREDIBLE LIFE OF POET

The entire contents of this publication are copyrighted and property of Brewer Media Group.

No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publishers. The Pulse utilizes freelance writers and the views expressed within this publication are not necessarily the views of the publishers or editors. The Pulse takes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, artwork or other materials.

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The

Editoon

by Rick Baldwin

Publisher Zachary Cooper zcooper@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Editor Janis Hashe jhashe@chattanoogapulse.com News Editor/Art Director Gary Poole gpoole@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Editor Stephanie Smith ssmith@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising Sales Rick Leavell rleavell@chattanoogapulse.com Jim Stevens jstevens@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Writers Rob Brezsny Anne Caldwell Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb Mary Duffy Hellcat Helene Houses Vincent Howard Phillip Johnston Jonathan Malcolm Lampley Kelly Lockhart Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Alex Teach

Letters to the Editor also fronting E. Brainerd Road on the next block, including their exteriors company.

That vote will not only put 1,000 renters and their vehicles on our small block, but will put yet another traffic light between Highway I-75 and Gunbarrel Road, exacerbating our already cumbersome commute. The City Council has insisted for years it would preserve our R-1 zoning for all the residents (including the out-of-state developer who more recently bought the rezoned 25 acres). And we hope the council returns to that position based on this conflict of interest.

Lana Sutton Chattanooga

Art Department Damien Power Alisha Whalen Contributing Artists Rick Baldwin Christopher Wilson Staff Photographer Damien Power Contributing Photographers Bob Edens Jean-Marc Lubrano Contact Info: Phone (423) 648-7857 Fax (423) 648-7860 E-mail info@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising advertising@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Listings calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 phone (423) 648-7857 fax (423) 648-7860 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 500 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

Member

Planning Commission Ethics Code?

With respect to protecting our home values and neighborhoods, ChattanoogaHamilton County Regional Planning Commission should write an ethics code for its planning and zoning commissioners, so they can no longer vote to spot zone near their personal properties.

At the Oct. 13 vote to rezone a controversial 25 acres near Highway I-75 on East Brainerd Road and Panorama Drive, a county commissioner with properties in the block next door did not recuse himself from the vote affecting his property values and our neighborhood values. Commissioner Bill Hullander and his son own several contiguous parcels

Changing Face Of Chattanooga Recently I have returned to my childhood home [of Chattanooga] to live and work. I am writing to tell you my impression of the city and the changes I have noticed. As a child I spent a lot of time downtown, mainly because Kirkman Technical High School was located there, which is the school I attended.

Having come back into the city only last week, yesterday I had the opportunity to cruise the downtown area. Hoping to take a trip down memory lane, I found much, much more. The city has become a true tourist area, with attractions and restaurants that blew me away. I remember Rock City and Ruby Falls as pretty much the sole attractions. The zoo at that time was free to enter and did not

have many animals. Now the Tennessee Aquarium and other attractions abound.

I found a lot of areas that haven’t changed since my childhood, and I enjoyed revisiting them, but I think the growth that Chattanooga has and continues to undergo over the past 20 years surprised me.

As I walked around downtown memories flooded to me of my teen years and my friends. New experiences awaited me around every corner, I could not get enough. I hope to spend the rest of my life here in this city and watch it continue to grow and change. I look forward to my future here and I know Chattanooga welcomes me back as an old friend. She was good to me in my childhood and she is even better now.

Theodore Cossitt Chattanooga Like An Episode Of “Cops” I read this article [“Self Medication, or What Dreams May Come”, 12/4] then all the others and they are like episodes of “Cops” but inside their head. I have never seen anything like this before, it is creepy and crazy and cool at the same time. It makes you wonder how they live like that. I hope Officer Teach is not working any more but at the same time I hope he is the next cop I meet if I need them. I will check Amazon to see if he has written any books because I’m getting hooked.

Sheila Rogers Chattanooga

Send all comments and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week: A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“I personally think this is a board responsibility. We need to take the bull by the horns and deal with it.”

— School Board member Rhonda Thurman, in response to the expected county schools budget shortfall.

Chattem Expands, Warehouse Row Street Pulse Shrinks, Two More In Council Races Are You Going On Vacation This Year?

Capital Investors’ proposed new look for Warehouse Row

In decades past, Chattanooga was known as a manufacturing hub with dozens of plants and assembly lines pumping out a plethora of consumer products and building materials.

While those days are for the most part well past, there are still a number of local manufacturers who are not only surviving, but actually thriving. Among them is Chattem, maker of products as varied as Gold Bond Medicated Powder to Cortizone-10 anti-itch cream. The Chattanooga-based company this past Friday announced that they are going against the recent trend of layoffs and downsizings with a planned major expansion.

Chattem CEO Zan Guerry explains that the growth of the business, including the acquisition of five brands from Johnson & Johnson in January of last year, combined with the strong retail performance of their core brands has enabled them to expand their presence in Chattanooga. “The increased investment in our Chattanooga locations will result in the creation of more full-time positions and a capital investment of up to $31 million over the next several years,” Guerry said.

However, at the same time as Chattem expands, the once-thriving Warehouse Row boutique outlet mall downtown continues to shrink,

with the announcement that the Bass outlet store, the largest remaining tenant at Warehouse Row, is closing at the end of the month after 15 years. The South Market Street complex, created by combining several old warehouses, has steadily lost tenants and customers over the years. Joining Bass in closing its doors is the L’eggs/ Hanes/Bali store, leaving just three remaining retail tenants: Yves Delorme, Penney’s Corner and the River City Mart dollar store.

That said, not all Warehouse Row news is bad. The new owners of the complex are carrying out a $20 million expansion and renovation of the property, including additional parking (which has long been a problem). In fact, former St. John’s operator Nathan Lindley says that he will open a new restaurant at Warehouse Row called Public House as part of the planned re-launch of the facility early next year.

The City Council Candidate List Keeps On Getting Longer Add two more names to the ever-growing list of people who have picked up qualifying papers for the various city council races.

Missionary Ridge’s Peter Murphy plans to run for the District 9 seat, while businesswoman Pam Ladd

has announced plans to run for the District 3 seat. Both seats are open due to the current holders— Dan Page and Debbie Gaines, respectively—having decided to not run for reelection to the council.

Murphy joins a crowded field for the District 9 race that includes Queston Coleman, J.T. McDaniel, Thomas Mott and Jackie Thomas.

Ladd will face off against George Patten, who has already turned in his qualification papers. The deadline for all candidates to turn in qualification papers is Thursday, December 18 at noon, at which time we’ll know for certain who will be filling up our local roadways with campaign signs between now and the March election.

“I’m going this week to California to visit with the family for the holidays. Getting Christmas done a bit early.”

Nick Horn Decatur, TN

Do We Need Another BlueRibbon Committee?

Hamilton County School Superintendant Dr. Jim Scales has asked the school board to create a blue-ribbon committee to come up with a plan to address the projected $20 million shortfall in the school budget. Scales suggested that each school board member appoint two citizens from their district to join three people of his choosing to create a 21-member panel that will suggest ways for the school system to handle the looming fiscal crisis.

Finance Committee Chairperson Linda Mosley made certain to point out that any committee formed would be an advisory group only, and that the school board itself would retain final decision-making powers. Among the issues needing to be addressed are possible school consolidations, a very touchy subject among many county residents. It is highly unlikely that the current makeup of the county commission would be willing to approve another property tax hike, meaning that unless the state changes its BEP formula for how state taxes are distributed to local school districts, no new money will be forthcoming.

“Nope. Don’t have the money or any place I really want to go. Just going to stay home this year.”

Richie Grant Ringgold, GA

“Other than going to visit family fairly close by, I’m not. I am keeping my fingers crossed for next year, though.”

Rebecca Cruz Chattanooga

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A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office and the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department.

Best Holiday Specials 1. A Charlie Brown Christmas 2. How The Grinch Stole Christmas 3. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer 4. Frosty The Snowman 5. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town 6. The Year Without A Santa Claus 7. Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol 8. A Muppet Family Christmas 9. The Little Drummer Boy 10. The Star Wars Holiday Special Last week, we listed the best holiday movies. This week, we shift to the small screen to capture those heart-warming moments of holiday cheer. The top three are set in stone, all holiday classics that will be viewed every December for generation after generation.

The next six are all highly recommended—including the oftoverlooked Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol—which gives you nine excellent choices for your holiday viewing.

• “Nobody move or the dumpster gets it!” OK, so maybe it’s not that dramatic, but officials at a local dumpster company called police to report that one of their clients is holding a dumpster of theirs hostage and refuses to allow them access to the trash receptacle. The business owner claims that the dumpster company left his gate open, allowing his dog to get out, which was subsequently hit and killed by a car.

He said he will keep the dumpster until the company reimburses him for his $1,200 veterinary bill. The police declined to get involved in the matter and urged them to work out their differences directly.

• There’s a fine line between comedy and drama, especially for those who work in law enforcement. Officers noted a man walking in the rain along Rockway Drive last week, clad only in underwear, socks and a dress shirt. When they stopped to

• No one ever said running for public office would be easy. A Chattanooga mayoral hopeful called police last week after a man he described as being about 6’5” and more than 200 pounds was spotted standing by the rear door of his house. The candidate retreated from the house after calling police, who arrived to find that the man had left but did notice damage around the door indicating an attempted breakin. One would guess that “law and order” issues are going to be a prime focus of at least one candidate’s campaign speeches this coming election season.

Chattanooga Street Scenes

Then comes number ten. For those that are either too young to remember this televised disaster or too lucky to have missed it when it aired for the only time in 1977, here is the basic plot of what is considered to nearly all reviewers to have been the worst holiday special of all: Han Solo and Chewbacca go home to the Wookiee’s home planet to celebrate the traditional Life Day. That’s it. And it’s far worse than that, as it starred for no particular reason Bea Arthur, Harvey Korman and Art Carney.

George Lucas has said that if he had the time and a sledgehammer, he would track down every copy of this special and smash it. The Star Wars Holiday Special is available only as a bootleg, yet its reputation precedes it as the goofiest holiday special ever, maybe the goofiest two hours of television ever. Which is why it makes our list, of course.

Anything that bad ends up being a classic. It’s a rule, you know.

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question the man about his fashion choice, he calmly informed them that he had a bomb inside his head and that it was “fixing to explode”.

Instead of calling out the bomb squad, the officers determined first that the man was not under the influence of either drugs or alcohol, and then politely asked him to accompany them to Erlanger for a checkup.

The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

• With economic times getting tougher, it is a sad but true fact that shoplifting and petty crimes are on the rise. However, one often wonders about the types of items people decide to steal. Dalton police are currently looking for a man they have dubbed the “shopping cart shoplifter” who was spotted on surveillance cameras at a wellknown retail store loading up and walking out with a cart full of beer, laundry detergent and several large bags of toilet paper. If he’d only stolen some diapers, he could have been up for the lead role in a sequel to Raising Arizona.

Photogragh by Bob Edens • www.bobedens.com

A young artist expresses himself at MainX24.

ShrinkRap Surviving Grief, II

by Dr. Rick

L

ast year I wrote a column about grief, and it struck a chord with so many folks that I want to revisit the topic this week.

Why write about grief at this time of year? At a time of merriment and family fun? (Or so we’re told.)

Because that’s simply not how it is for many people. Just because we’re supposed to be jolly doesn’t mean we feel jolly, and if you’re suffering a recent loss, or this time of year brings up memories of past losses, it can be both exhausting and depressing to try to engage in forced fun when your heart just isn’t in it. Sure, the cheery distraction of Christmas lights and parties can be beneficial and most welcomed. Because, as they say, life goes on. And there is such a thing as “healthy distraction.” But when the eggnog is gone, the guests leave, and it’s quiet and still, do memories surface, asking for your attention?

Might you have a few bittersweet tears to shed?

For those who have lost a significant someone this past year, this is the first holiday season without your loved one. That’s hard. In the field of bereavement, we refer to the first year as “the year of firsts”—the first holiday, bowling night, Sunday dinner, vacation, anniversary, the first birth in the family all occurring without someone who had always been around for all that.

Or, perhaps you have someone (or someones) in your life—friends, family, elders, children—from whom you are estranged, or have unfinished business with. Or you’re the one who’s been rejected, or whatever the reasons for rift and distance. These can feel remarkably like a death.

Perhaps not a physical death, but one of connection and potential happiness.

And that’s a very real kind of grief.

(Sidebar: As I write this, honest to Buddha/God/Allah, I’m listening to Elvis Costello sing, “…he’s my brother, let us live in peace.” Man, the universe speaks loudly. When we listen.)

When someone we love dies, what is it that we really lose, aside from their physical presence? We lose our “other half,” we lose our “best friend,” we lose our “heart.” We

lose an important identity: We are no longer anyone’s spouse or partner, or no longer someone’s sister or best friend. Or when we lose parents, we are orphaned, no matter our age.

These are big changes in how we identify ourselves. But perhaps most of all we lose our mirror, that face into which we could look and see, looking back at us, all the love and goodness that a deep part of us always hoped we possessed. The face that was unalterable proof that we are, indeed, lovable. Whether from a death, a break-up, or some other loss, it’s no wonder healthy grieving takes time.

In Los Angeles, I was the bereavement director for this country’s first AIDS hospice. And it was a real blessing. I facilitated bereavement groups and healing circles devoted to the process of coming to terms with loss: How to navigate the pain and emerge, ultimately, with acceptance and a sense of peace. A tall order, as the grieving process includes a vast array of often frightening, unfamiliar emotions. And though friends and family may say things like, “Cheer up, honey, it’s been a while now,” or, “Shouldn’t you be getting on with your life?” they are actually giving advice that might ease their own discomfort at seeing you in pain.

The truth is that grief is different for everyone, and there are no prescribed timelines for emotional healing, for feeling whole again. You may need extra time to be alone with your thoughts. Or you may need people around you more than usual. Or you may not know what you need! But the bereavement period is definitely not business as usual, so to think that you must behave in usual ways, or according to someone else’s agenda, is unrealistic. And putting on a “false front” just stalls the process.

Here’s the good news: Time really can play a role in healing, and someday, with patience, support, and self-compassion, you will feel better.

Here are a few tips to help you get there: 1. Whatever your feelings are, honor them, know they are OK. Talk about them if you can. They are the most important part of the journey.

2. Joining a bereavement or survivor’s group is an excellent start.

First, you can see that you’re not

alone; second, you can learn from others; and third, you see that people do get better.

3. It can be very helpful to talk with a professional during times of life adjustments, relationship issues, confusing feelings. Loss includes all of these.

At the hospice we’d hold “Celebrations of Life” and read letters, play music, pass around lots of pictures, pass around lots of Kleenex, plant trees, stuff balloons with messages and release them. We would cry. We would laugh. We would remember. And the healing would begin.

Until next week, I leave you with a favorite Buddhist proverb: “Spiritual life is the art form of appreciating things as they are. Let go, and you let life arrange itself naturally.”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and is the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.”

Visit his website at www.DrRPH.com

“Though friends and family may say things like, ‘Shouldn’t you be getting on with your life?’ they are actually giving advice that might ease their own discomfort at seeing you in pain.”

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Holiday Volunteer Guide

Salvation Army

Salvation Army

Angel Program

Holiday Food Boxes

8 a.m. Angels needed at stores throughout Chattanooga.

(423) 756-1023.

9 a.m. Salvation Army Headquarters.

(423) 756-1023.

Salvation Army Kettle Campaign 7 a.m. Bell Ringers needed to post at various stores and malls throughout the Tennessee Valley.

(423) 756-1023.

Salvation Army Stocking Fillers 10 a.m. Salvation Army Headquarters.

(423) 756-1023.

Community Kitchen Kitchen Help 7 a.m. Community Kitchen.

(423) 756-4222 Ext. 3202.

United Way of Greater Chattanooga Gifts in Kind 9 a.m. United Way Gifts in Kind Warehouse.

(423) 752-0365.

Check our website for more volunteer information at www.chattanoogapulse.com

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CoverStory

What A Long Strange Trip Indeed From the day he set foot on a stage in Bethel, New York to kick off what became the greatest music festival of all time, Richie Havens has lived the Woodstock credo of peace, love and brotherhood. “I really sing songs that move me. I’m not in show business; I’m in the communications business. That’s what it’s about for me.”

By Gary Poole

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CoverStory

“I really believe that the things we have to talk about, the things we have to learn is what is important.

Nothing is finished yet.

It’s not really about the information, it’s about confirmation.”

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O

ne of the most popular themes in science fiction over the years has been that of the time machine. From H.G. Wells’ classic novel to the constant time travel seen in Star Trek, the thought of traveling through time has captured the imagination like virtually no other idea.

Interestingly enough, though, the majority of time-travel stories involved journeys to either historic moments in time or outright dangerous places, especially if you happen to have worn a red uniform shirt in the aforementioned Star Trek.

A much more logical use, at least to music fans, would be to use a time machine to travel back to legendary concerts. It is likely that if such a machine were ever invented, the most popular destination would be to the Woodstock Festival in 1969. In fact, that was the basis

for a short story several years ago that postulated that only about 30,000 “regular” people actually attended Woodstock—the rest were time travelers, which also went a long way to explain why so many people seemed so out of it during the festival.

But at least for the moment, time travel is still firmly relegated to the realm of science fiction. With one exception. That exception is a way to travel back to the halcyon days of peace, love and brotherhood without needing any high-tech equipment. All you need to do is to travel—by conventional means—to Rhythm & Brews this Thursday night to take part in the musical experience that is Richie Havens.

As presented so ironically in the Woodstock documentary film, Havens kicked off the festival at precisely 5:07 p.m. with a blistering performance that began with “High Flyin’ Bird” and ended nearly three hours later after repeated calls for encores with the anthem “Freedom/Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child”. His unique style of playing the guitar, in which he uses his thumb over the top of the

CoverStory neck and strums with a percussive ferocity more akin to a drummer than a guitarist helped him stand out immediately to the nearly half a million people packed together in the fields of Max Yasgur’s farm.

Combined with his glistening dark skin, distinctive goatee and, as the cameraman zoomed in time and time again to show, a pair of leathersandaled feet that stomped the stage in time with the music, he created an image that summed up what Woodstock was all about.

“We who played that stage shared a positive,” Havens reminisces. “It was a happening, and it was very special to me because it brought us all out from the underground to aboveground. It also drew together the Eastern and Western music scenes—we hadn’t seen them, and they hadn’t seen us. It was just an amazing experience.”

Nearly 40 years later, Havens has yet to slow down. He has released more than 25 albums and maintains a touring schedule that would exhaust performers half his age.

His concerts are known as much for his story-telling as for his music, as Havens views what he does as transcending mere entertainment.

“I call myself a ‘song-singer’. I really believe that the things we have to talk about, the things we have to learn is what is important. Nothing is finished yet. It’s not really about the information, it’s about confirmation. I seek out songs that inspire me. I consider myself as someone who is part of the audience, someone who is moved by the music itself. I only know the first and last song I’m going to play every night. I’m passing on songs to people; I’m not trying to impart any specific message.”

Born in Brooklyn, Richard P. Havens was the eldest of nine children. At an early age, he began organizing his neighborhood friends into street corner doo-wop groups and was performing with The McCrea Gospel Singers by the age of 16. Four years later, he left Brooklyn to seek out the artistic stimulation of the fabled Greenwich Village in New York City. “I saw the Village as a place to escape to in order to express yourself,” he recalls. “I had first gone there during the beatnik days of the 1950s to perform poetry, then I drew portraits

for two years and stayed up all night listening to folk music in the clubs.

It took a while before I thought of picking up a guitar.”

Throughout the ’70s, Havens stayed busy both in the recording studio, on the road, and on television. One appearance on The Tonight Show was so popular, not only did the audience continue applauding him though an entire commercial break, but Johnny Carson asked Richie to return the following night, marking only the second time in the show’s long history that a guest was booked for consecutive nights (the other being Barbra Streisand).

“When they asked me be on the show, I decided to play ‘Handsome Johnny.’ And when I got there, and

saw that the audience was all folks from the Midwest, I was worried that they were going to boo me.

‘Johnny’ is a protest song, and I really didn’t know how they were going to respond to it. But when I finished, they jumped up and started cheering. It just kept going on and on, and finally Johnny came over to me and said, ‘Hey Richie, want to do another song?’ and I said yeah.

And when I finished, they were still cheering and clapping, so he asked me to do yet another song and then asked me to come back the next night. To be asked to do that, when only Barbra Streisand had ever done that before, was just magical.”

Havens also tried his hand at acting, was a featured performer in the original 1972 stage presentation

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CoverStory

of The Who’s Tommy, and had the lead role in the 1974 film Catch My Soul, based on Shakespeare’s Othello. He even co-starred with the legendary Richard Pryor in the 1977 comedy Greased Lightning.

“I used to play in the band at the Café Wha? in New York where Richard performed. I caught his act just about every night for something like five years. I love comedians.”

Richie laughs gently, “I can still recite his entire act. Yet I was very reluctant to get into acting. Very reluctant. But Richard made it easy.

He was just as funny off-stage as he was on and it was a wonderful time we all had.”

But even with all the touring, recording, stage, television and film work, Havens never lost sight of his youthful idealism. In the mid-1970s, he co-founded the Northwind Undersea Institute, an oceanographic children’s museum on City Island in The Bronx. That, in turn, led to the creation of The Natural Guard, an organization Richie describes as “a way of helping kids learn that they can have a hands-on role in affecting the environment.

“Children study the land, water, and air in their own communities and see how they can make positive changes from something as simple as planting a garden in an abandoned lot.”

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However, when all is said and done, for Richie Havens making music is the center of his soul, which he sees as part of a continuous journey; one that advances a step further with each album.

“My albums are meant to be a chronological view of the times we’ve come through, what we’ve thought about, and what we’ve done to grow and change. There’s a universal point to which we all respond, and where all songs apply to everyone.”

For a man who is seen by many to have been at the very dawn of musical consciousness, Havens still sees a bright future for mankind and vows never to abandon his hopes for a better world. “We are at the dawn of major change,” he declares with a smile in his voice. “My hope comes from the fact that what I really do is sing songs to teach us how to hope.” Haven still maintains a sense of idealism that transcends musical genres and generations.

Come see for yourself this Thursday evening as the past, present and future are all combined into one amazing person.

Richie Havens with Walter Parks & Stephanie Winters $25 8 p.m. December 11 Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

OnTheBeat

by Alex Teach

Dr. Pothead, or “How I Learned to Love the Herb” W

hen I arrived, the two young subjects of my call were sitting on the hallway floor with their backs to a rail, their legs splayed in a “V”. One allowed his hands to hang limply, palms-up, from the sides. His partner was doing the same except having for a burning joint pinched in his right hand safely away from the palm. I was coming up a stairwell, so to them I seemed to emerge from the ground up like a thick polyester vine in a rectangular box with nowhere for them to go.

They watched me arrive, but did not move. As I came to the top of the stairwell I could almost hear the electricity crackling from synapse to synapse like molasses travelling through cotton in their brains, and I stood at their feet for a full 20 seconds before the gentleman on the right shuddered and opened his eyes wide with alarm, the message finally having hit home.

I was apparently not in a dream.

It was then that he jerked his right hand behind the small of his back to hide the burning ember he had held beside him in the several moments prior to this realization.

He maintained his slack-jawed look for another few seconds, then rolled his head to the right towards his companion and began laughing with a deep voice, “We’re busted, man… huh huh huh!” His partner joined him in his newfound jocularity, grinned and slowly laughed too, saying “Yeah. We’re going to jail, huh huh huh.” I was as happy as any babysitter could be—which is to say, not at all—but I was neither shocked nor taken aback. What they were doing was illegal, but more than anything it was stupid, and so I treated them as such.

“Holy BALLS!” I screamed at them in my Cop Voice, hands planted firmly on my hips above

my gun belt. “What in the name of Mary Jane are you thinking, firing up a spliff in front of God and everybody like this?! Jumping shit, there are rules, man! You’re in seven different kinds of hell for this, boys!”

The 20-something on the right stopped laughing. “Are you serious?

It’s just a little herb, man,” he said.

I looked at him as if he had just propositioned me for sex with a garden squirrel. “Are you jerking me around? In public like this? This is the kind of thing that people get the CHAIR for! BUSH is President, you fool! I’m going to have to hide you! Do you live here?” “Yes,” he said, amusement quickly turning to fear. “Right there,” he said as he pointed to a nearby door, sitting forward in alarm. “Get in, fast!”

I said. “My God, they have dogs on the way, you fools! This much hooter in the air will boil their blood— ho-ly hell, they may actually kill you!”

Both the young subjects started to move, my man on the right dropping his lit doob. He got to the door several feet away and hesitated as if remembering a long-forgotten assignment, then turned to pick up his dropped prize. “LET IT GO!” I screamed, and went in to pat him down. I heard the crackle of plastic in his left pocket and pulled out a small sandwich bag of the lowestquality weed I’d seen since Pink Floyd’s “Division Bell” tour. “Here, destroy this!” I commanded. “Pour it over the rail, quick!”

He hesitated, the drug speaking more loudly than his rational mind, but that mind soon clubbed itself like a seal into submission. He grabbed the bag and held it upright over the railing a moment, and I came up and cupped his hand. “Here! Quick, like a bunny!” I screamed as I tilted the hand holding the bag until the dried leafy contents showered the lower stairwells like an unforecast THC snowfall. A tear formed in his eye, and when it was over I gave him a reassuring shove into his apartment with his friend. “Don’t come out all day! You are on the radar, my

man!” The door shut on a very frightened face, and I left. A Grinchlike smile began forming as I thought about the events before I moved on.

You have to prioritize, you see. Did they fight? Were they combative? Were they even conservatives? I think not. Yet I helped those young men, and never had a return call at that apartment.

They didn’t have to go to jail in my judgment because they were safe inside their homes—the State can’t watch us all—and on the street, with a few exceptions, that’s what we’re poorly paid to deal with. They had to be pointed in the right direction, of course, and in that I did not fail; there are Rules. But in a world in which I honestly despise the stuff, I’d trade that ganja in for every can of beer on a convenience-store shelf because if I did, a cop might never have to be involved in another brawl for the rest of his or her career.

The deluded pot-mind is simply not an aggressive one. In fact, it is quite the opposite. And while mass consumption would doom us to second-world mediocrity and convenient foreign invasions, if given the choice I’m all for keeping those predisposed to escapes from reality contained inside sloth, as opposed to the blind aggression often seen in the “Steel Horse Reserve/Colt 45” mindsets.

Weed lost that battle, yes…but the war is long, and the sun was low, and it blinded my eyes again as it did on the way to their apartment. My stomach was another story, though, and if I didn’t fill it soon I’d be sharing “Funyuns“ with these idiots for the next two days as my contacthigh was beginning to demand.

Ahh…the greatest job in the world, indeed.

Provided you bring your own chips and snacks, I suppose. Next call, please?

“He maintained his slack-jawed look for another few seconds, then rolled his head to the right towards his companion and began laughing with a deep voice, ‘We’re busted, man… huh huh huh!’”

Alexander D. Teach is an occasional student of the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga and a graduate of Central High. In his spare time he enjoys carpentry, auto mechanic work, boating, and working for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

www.chattanoogapulse.com 12.11.08 The Pulse 13

Arts&Entertainment

by Janis Hashe

Piano Man Kicks Up His Heels

C

horeographer Twyla Tharp and piano man Billy Joel are both American icons, but when the news got out that Tharp was creating a musical based on Joel’s songs, eyebrows were raised.

What would “uptown girl” Tharp, known for her pioneering work with talents such as Mikhail Baryshnikov,

make of distinctly “downtown boy” Billy Joel?

The result was 2002’s Movin’ Out, a “jukebox musical” featuring 24 of Joel’s songs. The collaboration proved a huge success, resulting in Tonys for both Tharp and Joel, as well as one for the show.

Movin’ Out arrives for one night only at the Memorial Friday. Joel fans will not want to miss this one—but be aware this is not a traditional musical, but a series of Tharp-style dances bound together by a “plot” of sorts, the story of kids growing up on Long Island during the ’60s, including their experiences with the Vietnam war. The dancers don’t sing; songs are performed by a Joel-esque pianist and his band.

Characters are created from those mentioned in the lyrics of Joel’s songs.

“Forget about trying to fit Movin’ Out into a neat category,” wrote CurtainUp critic Elyse Sommer when

14 The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

the show premiered. “It has all the elements of a Broadway musical— superb stagecraft; a big cast; songs that, thanks to the brilliant Twyla Tharp and that Pied Piper of Rock and Roll ballads, Billy Joel, tell a story. With a spectacular troupe of dancers, to interpret the story Tharp has ingeniously stitched together from two dozen Joel hits, dialogue would be superfluous. The program includes

a helpful brief plot synopsis, but even if you don’t read it, you’ll have no problem following the story line and understanding what the characters are about.”

The musical begins and ends with “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant,” a song Joel has famously said he found difficult to finish and eventually virtually combined two songs together to do so. Other favorites that are woven into the storyline include “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me,” “Just the Way You Are,” and “An Innocent Man.” But no “Piano Man.” Tharp apparently felt Joel’s spirit would reverberate throughout the show, and so, it seems, it does.

Movin’ Out $32.50-$50 8 p.m. Friday, December 12 Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Avenue. (423) 642-TIXS. www.chattanoogaonstage.com

Arts&Entertainment

by Michael Crumb

Nothing Has Been Done C

hattanooga artist Mark Leaman strives for a vision beyond the formalism and formularism that comprise conventional artistic work. Sadly, a discerning artist may find in art schools more limitations than inspiration. The dynamics of art history indicate that artists who do achieve original vision become incorporated into curricula that can reduce such vision into a technique, a market-driven formula.

In my opinion, the painting “Fair Fax” (pictured) indicates that Leaman has achieved a leap into originality. This painting is a three-dimensional abstract, in which textiles and an internal comment on formal issue cohere into a presentation that remains visually engaging.

The aesthetics of abstract art can be both diverse and complex, and I believe that abstract pieces of sufficient substance will continue to keep the viewer visually engaged with the work over time, regularly providing fresh insights.

Marcel Duchamp’s work has been a particular source of inspiration for Mark Leaman. Duchamp’s conceptual rigor and versatility continue to lead

artists to new discoveries. Leaman has a BFA degree from the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, and has worked in New Orleans and Europe.

Leaman has been working in a variety of styles for some time, often characterized by a dark tonality.

Some of his work represents chess motifs, deriving from the artist’s experience as a chess player. He’s also produced the abstracts referred to, sculpture and portraits. He works with found objects to expand the concepts in his work. Leaman strives to keep his work affordable, and this principle has sometimes been fundamental to the success of great artists.

Leaman’s “Backward Series,” in which the usual surface is faced to the wall, reacted against formalism and served as a vehicle to get beyond formulas into fresher concepts, something both interesting and humorous. Careful study of really great artists also promotes this elegant result. The cynical cliché that “everything’s been done” gets disproved time and again by artists who have struggled to achieve

creative vision. A painting like “Fair Fax” shows such vision shared.

Mark Leaman’s work can be viewed and purchased in the back area of Never No, 22 Frazier Avenue, known for its fascinating array of counterculture and pop-culture treasures.

(Leaman is also known to many as a fine local blues guitarist.)

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A&ECalendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Friday, December 12

Thursday, December 11 THE ARTS

Casting Call for Waiting to Be Invited 7 p.m. Olivet Baptist Church Kingdom Center, 730 MLK. (404) 735-5282. kari@destinyentertainment.org

History of Ole Miss booksigning

by Dr. Gerald Walton 7 p.m. Rock Point Books, 401 Broad St. (423) 756-2855. www.rockpointbooks.com

THE ARTS

“Daisy Pratt: New Glass Art & Graphics” reception 7 p.m. Artful Eye Gallery, 5646 Brainerd Rd. (423) 855-7424.

Playing to Win: Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys booksigning by David Magee 6 p.m. Rock Point Books, 401 Broad St. (423) 756-2855. www.rockpointbooks.com

SEASONAL EVENTS “Holiday Highlights” Houston Museum, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com

Messiah Sing-A-Long With the CSO. Bring your Messiah score and sing out with Maestro Bob Bernhardt and the orchestra.

8 p.m. First Baptist Church, 401 Gateway Ave. (CSO) (423) 267-8583.

“Christmas Creations” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com “Holidays at the Hunter” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Dr. (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org

LIVE THEATER

COMEDY

A Christmas Carol 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Leanne Morgan 8 p.m. Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road.

(423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Movin’ Out Twyla Tharp’s Tony Award-winning “jukebox musical” of Billy Joel’s music.

8 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 642-TIXS. www.chattanoogaonstage.com

LIVE THEATER The Fezziwig Family Feast 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, MainStage Lobby, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com A Tuna Christmas 8 p.m. Stone Fort Inn, 120 E. 10th St., (423) 267-7866. www.stonefortinn.com

THE ARTS Stencil Nation booksigning by Russell Howze, graffiti artist 4 p.m. Rock Point Books, 401 Broad St. (423) 756-2855. www.rockpointbooks.com “Mugs and More” River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com “POMPEII: Works by David Young” AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org

Chattanooga Ballet and the CSO in the seasonal favorite.

8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 265-0617. www.chattanoogaballet.com

LIVE THEATER A Tuna Christmas 8 p.m. Stone Fort Inn, 120 E. 10th St. (423) 267-7866. www.stonefortinn.com A Christmas Carol 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

The Nutcracker 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 265-0617. www.chattanoogaballet.com

SEASONAL EVENTS “Holidays at Tanner Hill” 12 p.m. Tanner Hill Gallery, 3069 S. Broad St., Suite 3.

(423) 280-7182. www.tannerhillgallery.com

COMEDY Leanne Morgan 8 p.m. Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road.

(423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Sunday, December 14

Saturday, December 13

The Nutcracker

A Christmas Carol 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, MainStage Lobby 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Bach’s Lunch Series 12:05 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 698-2433.

“Object Project” Exhibit Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org Holiday Exhibit by members In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com

SEASONAL EVENTS

Santa’s Ho Ho Ho 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 266-4488. www.chattanoogariverboat.com

“Holiday Highlights” Houston Museum, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com

“Holiday Highlights” Houston Museum, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com

“Holidays at the Hunter” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Dr. (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org Enchanted Garden of Lights Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531. www.seerockcity.com Deck the Falls Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544. www.rubyfalls.com Christmas Carol Cruise Chattanooga Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 266-4488. www.chattanoogariverboat.com

“Christmas Creations” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com

COMEDY

Ho Ho H2o, A Tropical Holiday Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 266-4629. www.tnaqua.org

Leanne Morgan 8 p.m. Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

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SEASONAL EVENTS

’Tis the Season Luncheon 12 p.m. Chattanooga Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 266-4488. www.chattanoogariverboat.com

A Christmas Carol New adaptation of the Dickens classic.

2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River Street. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

“Christmas Creations” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com “Holidays at the Hunter” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Dr. (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org

LIVE THEATER

Ho Ho H2o, A Tropical Holiday Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 266-4629. www.tnaqua.org

The Nutcracker 2 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 265-0617. www.chattanoogaballet.com

Enchanted Garden of Lights Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531. www.seerockcity.com

THE ARTS

COMEDY

The End of Suffering: A Christmas Koan (a reading of Reb Anderson’s essay) 1:30 p.m. ClearSpring Yoga, 17 N. Market St. (423) 622-2862.

Leanne Morgan 8 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

A&ECalendar Wednesday, December 17

Monday, December 15 “The Accidental Auditors” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr., (423) 870-8924.

“POMPEII: Works by David Young” AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org “Object Project” Exhibit Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968.

“Art Treasures for Small Spaces” Studio 2/Gallery 2, 27 W. Main St. (423) 266-2222.

“Daisy Pratt: New Glass Art & Graphics” Artful Eye Gallery, 5646 Brainerd Rd. (423) 855-7424.

“Playing the Changes” and “Jazz Greats” Photos and charcoal drawings from and about jazz musicians.

10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Chattanooga African American Museum, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658. www.caamhistory.org

THE ARTS

“Local Color” Hanover Gallery, 1301-C Hanover St. (423) 648-0533.

“Performances in Clay III” The Gallery in Red Bank, 3920 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 870-2443.

Holiday Exhibit by members In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com

“Neoclassical Voyage” Scott Leach Gallery, Chattanooga High School, 301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5942.

“Mugs and More” River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com

“Joy!” Shruptrine Fine Art & Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

Mugs and More Ceramics artists mug for the holidays.

10 a.m. to 5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033, ext. 5. www.river-gallery.com

THE ARTS Holiday Exhibit by members In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com “The Accidental Auditors” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr., (423) 870-8924.

“POMPEII: Works by David Young” AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org

Tuesday, December 16

“Object Project” Exhibit Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968.

“Art Treasures for Small Spaces” Studio 2/Gallery 2, 27 W. Main St. (423) 266-2222.

SEASONAL EVENTS “Christmas Creations” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com Ho Ho H2o, A Tropical Holiday Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 266-4629. www.tnaqua.org ’Tis the Season Luncheon 12 p.m. Chattanooga Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 266-4488. www.chattanoogariverboat.com

Christmas with Choral Arts Music for brass, organ and choir featuring “Gloria” and “Christmas Cantata”.

THE ARTS

SEASONAL EVENTS

“Holiday Highlights” Houston Museum, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com

“Playing the Changes” and “Jazz Greats” Chattanooga African American Museum, 200 E. MLK. (423) 266-8658.

“Holiday Highlights” Houston Museum of Decorative Arts, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com

“Holidays at the Hunter” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Dr. (423) 267-0968.

Southeast Veterans Museum Chattanooga Ducks building, 201 W. 5th St. (423) 756-3825.

Enchanted Garden of Lights Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531. www.seerockcity.com

Enchanted Garden of Lights Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531. www.seerockcity.com

7:30 p.m. First Centenary United Methodist Church, 419 McCallie Ave, (423) 877-7050.

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18 The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

CDReviews

by Ernie Paik

Cherry Red Records Looks To The Past, Pink Skull To The Future Various Artists I’ll Give You My Heart, I’ll Give You My Heart: The Cherry Red Records Singles Collection 1978-1983 (Cherry Red)

Some record labels center on a particular genre or aesthetic, but Cherry Red Records was formed in the late ’70s by three British concert promoters who were caught up in a turbulent, yet fruitful musical era; the scattered, frequently excellent label roster was the result of the founders scouting new music, trying to stay afloat financially, and acting as music fans. A new massive 8-disc boxed set compiles the first 61 singles and EPs released on the label, and it takes its title from its very first single, from a teenage punk band called the Tights. Punk was important for the label—their Dead Kennedys singles were among their most successful, for example—but Cherry Red was too diverse to be pigeonholed. Among their first releases were singles by eccentric keyboardist/composer Morgan Fisher, the girl-gang outfit the Runaways (with Joan Jett and Lita Ford), and the anti-rock group Destroy All Monsters, which had an art perspective and members of the Stooges and MC5.

Pretty soon, various contingents emerged on the label, including reggae, post-punk (including Medium Medium and the Nightingales) and pop, represented by notables such as the bliss-out group Felt and the proto-indie-pop Marine Girls. Tracey Thorn, a Marine Girls member, is also represented on a solo single and the stunning debut single of Everything But the Girl, a gorgeous, minimal acoustic guitar cover of Cole Porter’s “Night and Day.” Thorn’s cohort, Ben Watt, had several other laudable releases on

the label, including a collaboration with Robert Wyatt. As explained in the box set’s well-arranged and informative book, the label wanted to also “establish [its] attitude through history” by releasing older, deserving material.

Financial constraints limited this arm, but Cherry Red did release a single of decadeold material by the German outfit Can (including their most playfully joyous track ever, “Turtles Have Short Legs”) and unreleased material from the late Marc Bolan of T. Rex. With an entire disc of bonus miscellany, the set is pretty overwhelming, with lots of great, odd surprises (including Hybrid Kids and Five Or Six) and timetested material for those discovering—or re-discovering—indie music from the late ’70s to early ’80s.

Pink Skull Zeppelin 3 (Free News Projects)

The Philadelphia-based dance music outfit Pink Skull goes beyond standard groove-oriented four-on-the-floor beat-making by taking a meandering approach and piling on electronic sounds and non-obvious samples with

jittery arrangements. There’s a part of them that leans toward wanting to make irresistible hooks, a la Daft Punk or Justice, but their dizzy, scattered methods seem to internally subvert that. Take for example “Gonzo’s Cointreau,” one of the more homogenous tracks on their debut album Zeppelin 3, with a prominent Chemical Brothers-esque bass line; 90 seconds into the song, there’s a passage of sonic disintegration with a deafening electronic jet-engine squeal, harshly halting the proceedings temporarily. It’s like they’re saying, “Yeah, we can make a killer dance song, but we’re more about messing around.”

The album hops around wildly from the constant tiny punches in the hip-hop remix “Crambodia,”

by Plastic Little and featuring guests including Ghostface Killah, to the weird, altered vocal fragments of “Unicorn Harpoon,” to the droney, echoing space rock track “Ssilt,” to the album’s gentle closer, “Take Me Out Riding,” which features Mirah on vocals. One of the best tracks is “Itchy Woman,” which makes effective use of a chilling, sungand-screamed passage taken from a live Patty Waters track and ends up sounding somewhat like an avantgarde, bizarro-world version of Fatboy Slim’s “The Rockafeller Skank.” Zeppelin 3 tries to negotiate the conflict between being a dance album and modern art, and in some ways, the album actually works better as headphones music than dance-club music.

While the group is undoubtedly having fun making their sounds, to me, in most cases these sounds are less interesting than the way they’re slammed together. I think the best from Pink Skull is yet to come; Zeppelin 3 is like a strange, uninhabitable building, where each individual brick may not be so special, but from a distance, it looks striking.

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MusicCalendar Thursday, December 11

Send your music events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Friday, December 12 Baaddmojo w/ Husky Burnette & Gabe Zander 9 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway

Open Mike w/ Yatti Westfield 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260.

Packway Handle Band, The New Familiars 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia.

231 ML King Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Stratoblasters 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budsportsbar.com

CLUBS/DJ/DANCE Richie Havens Do NOT miss the chance to hear this master.

(See cover story) $25. 8 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Beach Music Chattanooga Billiard Club East.

110 Jordan Drive.

(423) 499-3883. cbcburns.com

LIVE MUSIC

NIGHT LIFE

Tim Lewis 6:30 p.m. Rumors, 3884 Hixson Pk. (423) 870-3003.

Throw Back 80’s at Club Drink 7 p.m. Club Drink 5647 Brainerd Rd. (423) 553-6645. www.partyatthedrink.com

New Binkley Brothers 7 p.m. Sonny’s Place, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 634-0488.

Miss Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Hwy 58. (423) 485-0966.

Open Mike 9 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043.

John Sutton 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern.

850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com

DJ Drop It Low 7 p.m. J&J Restaurant and Lounge, 2208 Glass St. (423) 622-3579.

Bourbon Street Music Bar 2000 East 23rd Street.

(423) 697-9957.

Appalachian Christmas Sierra Hull, The Dismembered Tennesseans, The Morgans and Lynn Haas. $3 adults. 7 p.m. Waterhouse Pavilion at Miller Plaza.

LIVE MUSIC Faretheewell, At Cliff’s End, Adrian Gray, On My Honor 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019. www.clubfathom.com Live Music 7:30 p.m. Blue Orleans, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538.

Joseph Hasty 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-3109. www.christunity.org.

Roger Alan Wade 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern.

850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com.

Dave Matthews Tribute Band 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Texan Green helps keep the country edge in rock. $10. 9 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 820 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com

LIVE MUSIC

Live Jazz 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 424-3775.

NIGHT LIFE Wally’s Friend’s Christmas Party 8 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 820 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com Female Impersonation and Male Revue 10 p.m. Images. 6005 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday, December 14

Saturday, December 13

Pat Green

Barbara Lamb and Danny Barnes 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

ZOSO: The Ultimate Led Zepplin Tribute Band 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Live Music 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240.

CLUBS/DJ/DANCE Female Impersonation and Male Revue Images. 6005 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Foshay, Half Price Hero, Buried Beneath the Sky, Fallacy 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019. www.clubfathom.com

Chattanooga’s Wildest Dance Party with DJ Atari Club Fathom. 412 Market Street.

(423) 757-0019. clubfathom.com

Live Jazz 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 424-3775.

DJ Spaceghost Club Drink. 5647 Brainerd Road.

(423) 553-6645. www.partyatdrink.com

20 The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

NIGHT LIFE Red Clay Pickin’ Barn 7 p.m. Red Clay Pickin’ Barn, Weatherly Switch @ Old Lead Mine Valley Road, Cleveland, TN. (423) 240-3439.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5914 Lee Hwy. (423) 499-9878.

Electric Cowboy 5600 Brainerd Rd #A4.

(423) 499-1995.

FANatics 7601 E Brainerd Rd. (423) 894-2524.

Fireside Lounge 4021 Hixson Pike.

(423) 870-7078.

Gene’s Bar and Grill 724 Ashland Terrace.

(423) 870-0880.

Legends Bar and Grill 5530 Hixson Pike.

(423) 843-2695.

Miss Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Hwy 58. (423) 485-0966.

Red Lantern 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730.

give4 More than 40 local musicians playing in support of two local single-mother families.

Donations accepted. 1-4 p.m. Miller Plaza

LIVE MUSIC

NIGHT LIFE

Open Jam w/ Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge, 4762 Hwy 58.

(423) 485-0966.

Amatuer Talent Night Images. 6005 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Irish Music 6:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996.

Striker’s Lounge Holiday Bowl. 5518 Brainerd Road.

(423) 899-2695.

Cadillac Sky 9 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 820 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com

Electric Cowboy 5600 Brainerd Rd #A4.

(423) 499-1995. www.electriccowboy.com

MusicCalendar Monday, December 15 LIVE MUSIC Happy Hour Jazz 4 p.m. The Palms, 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 499-5055. thepalmsathamilton.com

Mote & Friends Open Mike 9 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 820 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com

Salt the Wound, The Demonstration, Kill Whitney Dead, In Truth Be Valor 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019. www.clubfathom.com

Monday Night Big Band 7:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Tuesday, December 16

Wednesday, December 17

Ben Friberg Jazz Trio Jazzing up the season standards and improv.

No cover. 6:30 p.m. Table Two, 232 E. 11th St., Suite A110. (423) 756-8253.

LIVE MUSIC Happy Hour Jazz 4 p.m. The Palms, 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 499-5055. wwww.thepalmsathamilton.com Open Mike 8:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com

NIGHT LIFE Bud’s Sports Bar 5914 Lee Hwy. (423) 499-9878.

Electric Cowboy 5600 Brainerd Rd #A4. (423) 499-1995.

FANatics 7601 E Brainerd Rd. (423) 894-2524.

Fireside Lounge 4021 Hixson Pike. (423) 870-7078.

Gene’s Bar and Grill 724 Ashland Terrace. (423) 870-0880.

Auto Vaughn and Elevation Two up-and-coming bands come back to town. $7. 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

LIVE MUSIC Happy Hour Jazz 4 p.m. The Palms, 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 499-5055. wwww.thepalmsathamilton.com

NIGHT LIFE Dollar Beer Night at Midtown 4 p.m. Midtown Music Hall.

820 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com Untypical Karaoke W/Pokey Nintendo 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiard Club.

110 Jordan Road. (423) 499-3883.

Karaoke at Walt’s 8 p.m. Walt’s Fireplace and Lounge.

6238 Bonny Oaks Drive. (423) 485-9080.

Rob’s 5308 Dayton Blvd. (423) 875-6164.

Legends Bar and Grill 5530 Hixson Pike. (423) 843-2695.

Striker’s Lounge Holiday Bowl. 5518 Brainerd Road.

(423) 899-2695.

Miss Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Hwy 58. (423) 485-0966.

The Sports Page 8182 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 855-2100.

Red Lantern 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730.

Track’s Sports Bar and Grill 4321 Ringgold Road. (423) 698-4849.

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: To be considered for entry in our print calendar, event information must be submitted by noon on the Monday before publication. Event information may be E-mailed to Calendar@ChattanoogaPulse.com, faxed to (423) 648-7860, or mailed to The Pulse, attn: Calendar, 1305 Carter Street, Chattanooga, TN 37402. Event information will not be accepted by phone. We reserve the right to refuse any event listing for any reason. If you have a high-resolution photo, please send it along with your listing.

www.chattanoogapulse.com 12.11.08 The Pulse 21

22 The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

LifeInTheNoog

by Chuck Crowder

Where Did Christmas Go? L

ast night I ran across a blast from the past that paralyzed my channel-surfing finger and brought a smile upon my face like nothing else can.

It was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And I couldn’t believe my eyes.

By “Rudolph,” I’m talking the old-school 1964 stop-motion animation special with Burl Ives narrating the voice of a snowman that looks suspiciously like Burl Ives. In fact, during the special Ives sings his version of “Holly Jolly Christmas,” which would later become a musical standard in its own right. But I digress.

Anyway, “Rudolph” brilliantly tells the story of the young rednosed reindeer as immortalized in the song of the same name, but adds some interesting twists and turns.

For example, the story goes past the confines of the song to include Rudolph’s relationship with Hermey, a misfit elf who’s studying to become a dentist. The two embark on a journey away from Santa’s North Pole headquarters in search of fame and fortune after Rudolph’s friends shun him for his freakishly glowing red nose.

On their journey, the two run into a quirky prospector named Yukon Cornelius. For the rest of the special, Cornelius can be seen tossing his pick ax into the air and then tasting the end that contacts the snow or ice. After a few lip smacks discover that the ax hasn’t hit silver or gold, he exclaims “Ah, nuthin.”

He joins the two in search of fame and fortune as well—although all they end up finding is an Island of Misfit Toys and an abominable snowman who ends up getting all of his teeth pulled out by the would-be elf dentist. But regardless of how silly it sounds, this crazy story is yet another fond memory I have from Christmas as a kid.

In fact, I might be part of the last generation that was been catered to with fresh and new tributes to the season. In addition to Rudolph, the ’60s also produced many other

classic televised specials, such as Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town and of course the greatest of them all—A Charlie Brown Christmas. These specials were just hitting their stride of popularity by the time I sat down in front of the TV in the early ’70s.

Musically, the same time period also produced the bulk of what we consider to be the most beloved versions of Christmas carols—Elvis doing “Blue Christmas,” Frank singing “White Christmas” and of course the jazzy soundtrack to the Charlie Brown special mentioned above, just to name a few. We added a few more classics in the ’70s, like John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas, War is Over,” Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” and one of the most unlikely duets of all time—David Bowie and Bing Crosby singing “Peace on Earth/Little Drummer Boy” together on a 1977 Bing Crosby TV special.

The ’80s saw a resurgence of Christmas cheer. heer. In 1983, we added what might be the finest Christmas story ever produced oduced called, ironically enough, ough, A Christmas Story. tory. This now infamous tale, e, chronicles one boy’s plight ght of fending off bullies while hile trying to convince anyone yone who’ll listen why he’d e’d like a Red Ryder BB gun n for Christmas.

In the way of music, the ’80s 0s and early ’90s 0s delivered a new ew breed of Christmas istmas carol—classics cs sung by today’s ay’s hit makers (for charity of course). The “Very Special al Christmas” CD series re-introduced -introduced the old school ol carols in a way that we could all sink our teeth into. o. “Wow, is that Bon Jovi ovi singing ‘Please Comee Home for Christmas?’” ” “I really dig John Mellencamp’s llencamp’s version of ‘I Saw Mommyy Kissing Santaa

Claus.’” “That simply can’t be the Eurythmics singing ‘Winter Wonderland.’” At least the albums benefited the Special Olympics.

But that’s it. Aside from the ’80s UK star-studded charity jingle “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” we haven’t had a new Christmas anything that’s held a candle to those of holidays past. Too bad pop culture has forgotten all about Santa Clauses and reindeers. I guess our kids will always wonder about those things—along with who the hell Burl Ives is.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his wildly popular website thenoog.com for hip Chattacentric shirts and stickers.

“Aside from the ’80s UK starstudded charity jingle ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas?’ we haven’t had a new Christmas anything that’s held a candle to those of holidays past.”

www.chattanoogapulse.com 12.11.08 The Pulse 23

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Fun!

Arts • Nightlife • Concerts • Events • Health • Dining • Cooking • Outdoor • Pets • Kids & Family • On the Road 24 The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

FilmFeature

by Janis Hashe

Ain’t Nuthin’ But the Blues

“From the second we see him, fresh off the farm, standing in the Chicago street with his beatup old truck, Walker’s Wolf is a lighting strike of a man.”

Q

uick: Name the top African American female directors working in film.

Stumped? No wonder. If Hollywood remains a Boys’ Club to the nth degree, it also remains a White Boys’ Club to a very large degree. So for that reason alone, Cadillac Records, written and directed by Darnell Jones, stands out.

Jones, who is known primarily as a TV director (many episodes of various versions of Law & Order), also directed 1994’s well-regarded independent I Like It Like That and 2001’s generallyregarded-to-be-a-mess Prison Song.

There are precious few female African American executive producers, either, so I salute Beyoncé (who uses her last name, Knowles, for this dual gig) for pushing to get this film made. Very few non-blues-buffs are familiar with the history and personalities Cadillac Records depicts.

The buffs, it must be said, are blogging away in disparagement of this movie’s liberties with actual historical events. But while far from perfect, it’s an engaging, and in some scenes, riveting glimpse into American musical history, and the music, sung by the actors themselves, not dubbed, is phenomenal.

Cadillac Records is the story of Chess

Records, founded by Len and Phil Chess in Chicago in 1950 to record what was then known as “race” music: blues and R&B. (In one of the movie’s most criticized omissions, Phil is left out entirely, leaving the impression that Len Chess, played by Adrien Brody, was the entire company.) The Chess brothers recruited and recorded legends such as Muddy Waters, Little Walter, Howlin’ Wolf, and, eventually, Chuck Berry and Etta James. The film’s title comes from the Chesses’ proclivity for paying their stars in new Cadillacs.

In order to depict this freewheeling era, Jones as screenwriter chose to focus how the personal relationships among the characters evolve over the lifetime of the label. It’s true that this choice means sacrificing details and some context. It’s sort of a “Cliff Notes to the Blues.”

But what more than redeems the film for me is the superb cast and for the most part, superb acting. Here’s where Jones shows her director’s chops, as she pulls performances from some key players that are indelible.

Foremost in my mind, and in truly a career-making turn, is British actor Eamonn Walker as Howlin’ Wolf. From the second we see him, fresh off the farm, standing in the Chicago street with his beat-up old truck, Walker’s Wolf is a lighting strike of a man. His

burning eyes, gravely growl and sheer physical presence explode off the screen.

Known primarily to American audiences as the Muslim inmate in the cable series Oz, Walker is a revelation. Watch for this actor’s profile to go way, way up.

Another standout performance is by Columbus Short as the doomed Little Walter, whom we watch disintegrate with drugs, drinking and internalized racism. By the end of the movie, the young, crazy harp player is barely recognizable. Mos Def makes a charismatic and funny Chuck Berry.

His first scene, in which he confronts white club owners who booked him as a “country” singer without realizing he is black, is a masterpiece of cool.

Jeffrey Wright plays Muddy Waters, and his storyline and performance form the movie’s core. We see him sharecropping in Mississippi, being inspired to give it up by the legendary blues recording sessions done by Alan Lomax, playing on the street in Chicago, meeting Geneva Wade (who would become his wife), electrifying his guitar and then the street crowds, and forming a long, complex association with Len Chess. Wright brings a dignity and depth to his portrayal that is a great tribute to a musician who remains among the most influential who ever lived. After Wright’s Waters finishes laying out the body of Little Walter, he bolts upstairs to the bathroom. From behind its closed door, Gabrielle Union’s Geneva can hear his stifled sobbing.

Two performances are problematic for different reasons. Fine actor Adrien Brody is handicapped by the script, in which he is a central, but poorly defined character. We never really get to know Len Chess, and at the film’s end, when his feelings for Etta James should elicit sympathy, we’re simply confused.

Brody is not helped either by Beyoncé Knowles’s efforts to depict Etta James.

James was and is a force of nature, and the ultra-controlled Knowles’s attempts to capture her struggles with dysfunction and addiction come off as simply amateurish.

Overall, however, I highly recommend Cadillac Dreams, both for those who love the music, and for those who enjoy seeing some up-and-coming actors stretch their wings.

Cadillac Records Rated R Directed by Darnell Martin Starring Adrien Brody, Jeffrey Wright, Eamonn Walker, Beyoncé Knowles Running Time: 1 hour, 48 minutes

www.chattanoogapulse.com 12.11.08 The Pulse 25

ShadesOfGreen

by Mary Duffy

Invasion of the Little Green Houses: Take Me to Your LEED-er H

abitat for Humanity, Collier Construction, and local nonprofit green|spaces are putting a new house on the block—and Chattanooga on the map—with their most recent construction: a LEED-certified Habitat for Humanity house.

Baja Dalla, a 25-year-old Sudanese father of three, has lived in Chattanooga for two years, residing in a one-bedroom apartment. He fled his native Sudan in the 1990s, and spent ten years living as a refugee in Ethiopia before immigrating to the United States. Thanks to Habitat for Humanity, he will soon be the owner of a 1,100-square-foot house in the Jefferson Heights neighborhood. His neighbors will be eager to keep up with the Dallas, whose house will be LEED-(Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design) certified, a standard in green, environmentally sound building.

“We’re looking at probable silver LEED certification,” says Ethan Collier, founder and president of Collier Construction, the company responsible for most the labor on the house. Walking through the unfinished house on Friday afternoon, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary about the place. This, Collier explains, it what makes it so interesting.

“What we were looking to do here was to get a LEED certification by introducing new processes that Habitat for Humanity will be able to recreate in the future for LEED buildings. New practices, not new materials.” Collier emphasizes that LEED building practices don’t have to cost more, and in fact can cost less than, traditional construction, ultimately saving even more energy and money.

He directed my attention to two windows that had been framed in.

On one, the header (a support beam above the window) was insulated, and on the second window no header was present at all. Usually, all windows in houses have headers, and they aren’t typically insulated. Insulating the window headers will increase the home’s energy efficiency exponentially.

Why did they leave out the header on the second window? It wasn’t necessary for the load bearing.

In order to make the Dalla house energy efficient, Mr. Collier expanded the practice of removing unnecessary framing from walls and windows.

Adding extra insulation where there would usually have been wood is the second step. He explained the important principle of the R-value, a measure of thermal resistance used in construction: “25 percent of most walls are wood. Well, wood is a terrible insulator. We take that percentage down, up the percentage of insulation, and then we can more than double the R value of the house.”

Adding in other construction tricks like a fully sealed and insulated crawl space and attic, and a sealed air barrier effected by gluing the house’s sheathing to its framing, and the Dallas’ R-value goes way up. “Their [heating or cooling] bill might be around $25 or $30 a month. There’s a house we did [with these techniques] that’s 6,000 square feet. The owner

26 The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

told me his cooling cost for the month of July was $105.”

What makes Mr. Collier’s work special is that these building techniques are subtly innovative: They require little more than actual thinking, pausing before you plonk in an unneeded piece of lumber. “People ask us if we can do this to their house,” Collier says with a chuckle, “but you can’t retrofit the framing of a house too easily. But you can do this on any kind of new construction.

We hope this is going to be repeatable for Habitat for Humanity. Of all the houses we build, the best one is going to Mr. Dalla.”

You can stop by the corner of Main and Market to see the house before it is moved to its final location. For more information go to habichatt. org, greenspaceschattanooga.com, or collierbuild.com Former East Coaster Mary Duffy is a writer by avocation, a Girl Friday by profession, and leads as peripatetic a life as possible. She embraces everything green.

“People ask us if we can do this to their house,” Collier says with a chuckle, “but you can’t retrofit the framing of a house too easily. But you can do this on any kind of new construction.”

Volunteer workers help construct the Habitat for Humanity house at the corner of Main & Market.

We Play

Whatever We Want.

You Got a

PROBLEM With That?

Punk?

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www.chattanoogapulse.com 12.11.08 The Pulse 27

Free Will Astrology

By Rob Brezsny

Prayer of Gratitude to the Tricky Goddess of Benevolent Mischief Editor’s Note: This week, we are running an essay by Rob that expresses his wishes for a new era and a new year.

All hail the Tricky Goddess of Benevolent Mischief, also known as the Cosmic Instigator of Healing Trouble. Let us praise and ratify her ingenious plan to turn the status quo upside-down.

The vivid exposure of greed, corruption, and delusion among the top echelons of the American political and financial hierarchy is a blessing on all of humanity.

The eruption of fertile chaos is making it difficult to carry on with business as usual, and we could not have received a more energizing gift.

A PRAYER Oh Wise Trickster Goddess, You Compassionate Conjurer of Relentless Change, You Righteous Rascal in Charge of Keeping a Steady Flow of Sacred Uproar Pouring into Our Lives: Please continue to influence the masters of plutocracy and war and their media minions to be evermore obvious as they spin out their perversions of your glorious creation, so that more and more of our sleeping tribe will wake up to the Open Secret.

Inspire the enforcers of mass hallucination to display their hypocrisy in an ever-escalating melodrama of spittle flecks and sour faces, as in a slapstick morality play from the Middle Ages, so that we, their captive audience, may convulse with purgative guffaws that shatter the mass hallucination.

And if you don’t mind, Sweet Divine Rebel Goddess, please allow us to nurture a spark of hope that the breakdown in the Way Things Have Always Been Done will lead to fresh, hot, tidal-wave breakthroughs of beauty, truth, justice, equality and love everywhere we turn.

And now, in my capacity as Sacred Janitor of the Invisible Government of Sweaty Meditation, I hereby declare the entire United States of America a Temporary Autonomous Zone.

As formulated by writer Hakim Bey, a Temporary Autonomous Zone (TAZ) is any festive event that liberates the imaginations of everyone present, thereby making it possible for life to be penetrated by

the Marvelous. Authority and dignity and routine have no place at a TAZ; an uninhibited quest for rabblerousing conviviality must be the only guideline. (See Bey’s website.)

Here are a few suggestions, mostly from Bey, to get you started in creating your own local celebration of TAZ. Feel free to dream up your own, and make sure to tell me about them. (Send your emails to uaregod@ comcast.net.)

Organize a strike in your school or workplace on the grounds that it does not satisfy your need for indolence and spiritual beauty. Burglarize houses, but instead of stealing, leave behind beautiful and confusing gifts.

Spread gossip about the unsung genius of people who don’t get nearly enough credit for their good work.

Take a few friends and a boom box to an all-night grocery store and engage in ecstatic, whirling dervishstyle dancing in the aisles until you’re thrown out. Scrawl the following graffiti in courthouse lavatories and on playground walls: “I dare you to scare yourself with how beautiful you are.”

Pick people at random, says Bey, and convince them they’re the heirs to an enormous, useless, and amazing fortune—say, 5,000 square miles of Antarctica, or an aging circus elephant, or a leper colony in India, or a collection of alchemical manuscripts. Later they will come to realize that for a few moments they believed in something extraordinary, and will perhaps be driven to cultivate a more intense quest for exhilarating adventures.

Scrawl the following poem

by Hafiz (translated by Daniel Ladinsky) in courthouse lavatories, on playground walls, and through e-mail lists: AT THIS PARTY I don’t want to be the only one here Telling all the secrets -Filling up all the bowls at this party, Taking all the laughs.

I would like you To start putting things on the table That can also feed the soul The way I do.

That way We can invite A hell of a lot more Friends.

28 The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

JONESIN’

By Matt Jones

“Come On, Get It Right!”

–driving grammar purists crazy since, well, forever.

Across 1 Letters seen after forward slashes 4 Hand-rolled dish 9 “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” boat, typically 14 “You’re in trou-uh-ble!”

15 Smart and Bond, for instance 16 Classic “Star Trek” crew member 17 Production company behind NPR’s “The World” 18 Powerful demon, in Arabic mythology 19 Hat on a chess piece 20 Sex ed subj.

22 Willed gift 24 What the Martian zoo display was down to?

29 Lumber mill cutters 30 ___ acids (main components of proteins) 31 Geologicial time period 32 Funk 35 Mormon church, for short 36 Where culinary newsletters are sent?

39 Lived and breathed 40 “A Death in the Family” author James 41 “___ and the Kings of Spain” (1995 Tears for Fears album) 44 When some evening news is broadcast 46 Separate by cutting off 48 What I hope the gas pills

will help stop?

51 Picnic table condiment 52 Chicago-based superstation 53 Recruiter’s goal, maybe 57 Blazing 59 Old-school hardcore rappers, for short 61 Parking attendant 62 Passover dinner 63 Portugal’s cont.

64 Caffe additive 65 Orange and lemon, e.g.

66 Day getaway, perhaps Down 1 Doo-___ (a cappella music genre) 2 Devotion 3 Masher’s target?

4 Agency that issues numeric ID’s 5 Circulation that doesn’t sink with gravity 6 It’s very alluring 7 Katherine who withdrew from the 2008 Emmy competition 8 “___ Away” (1994 hit for Alice in Chains) 9 “That looks delicious!”

10 Yellowfin, alternately 11 Percentage 12 Otto I’s domain: abbr.

13 Feathers partner 21 Simpsons character in a leisure suit 23 Singer/guitarist born

Maria Rosario Pilar Martinez Molina Baeza 24 Green Day drummer ___ Cool 25 Barack Obama Chief of Staff Emanuel 26 Get one’s first dairy farm experience, perhaps 27 Billy Joel song that starts “In every heart there is a room” 28 Roulette spaces: abbr.

33 Easter egg decorating kit stuff 34 Like beachfront property 37 “Criss Angel: Mindfreak” network 38 “___ it seems...”

39 Route 42 Depleting 43 Former Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Dawson 45 List of mistakes 47 Niacin’s alternate vitamin name 49 As ___ resort 50 More abundant 53 Home Shopping Network competitor 54 Egypt and Syr., from 1958 to 1961 55 Bullring cheer 56 President pro ___ 58 Hosp. areas with restricted access 60 Mrs., in Managua

©2008 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0391.

Solution To Last Week’s Puzzle

©2008 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this week’s puzzle, call: 1-900-2262800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card: 1-800-655-6548. Puzzle Number 0391.

www.chattanoogapulse.com 12.11.08 The Pulse 29

!

AskAMexican!

by Gustavo Arellano

Special Guadalupe Edition Dear Mexican, Many times, as I cross the border into the U.S., I see bald cholos buying images (posters, blankets, baby bibs) of Al Pacino in Scarface. Where does such an obsession for this ugly Cuban come from? Is Tony Montana replacing la Virgencita de Guadalupe in cholos’ living rooms across America?

— Proud to be an Illegal Alien Dear Wab, Author Ken Tucker recently published Scarface Nation: The Ultimate Gangster Movie and How It Changed America, but save some money and refry this: the basis for the popularity of Tony Montana is the same as why Bonnie & Clyde became folk heroes during the Great Depression, la misma razón porque Dubya was reelected in 2004 and George Armstrong Custer was so popular—America loves its up-from-stupidity outlaws. Cholos, on the other hand, love Montana for the obvious reason: por pendejos.

I get the socioeconomic rationale for Montana’s deification in thug culture—his rise from poverty through riches via machismo, guile, and the white chica—but Mexicans who worship him insult our culture for falling under the spell of a coño.

Whatever happened to the days when the killers Mexicans lionized—Emiliano Zapata, Pancho Villa, Gregorio Cortez—slaughtered for the ‘hood that was la raza? Not only that, but the celebration of drug kingpins in Mexico?

Well... (answer redacted by the Mexican’s editor because he doesn’t want his prize wab to turn up in a ditch)!

Dear Mexican, I was talking to my uncle a few weeks ago, and

30 The Pulse 12.11.08 www.chattanoogapulse.com

he mentioned something to the effect that, as part of the original postwar agreement between the United States and Mexico after their 1848 war, that Mexican citizens were originally supposed to be able to go back and forth as they pleased. I know that the original draft was changed. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time to do further research. If it’s true, I guess them Mexican illegals aren’t illegal— they’re simply exercising the terms of the postwar agreement.

— El Niño Héroe Dear Heroic Child, Your uncle was partially right. Article IX of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo originally stated that “the relations and communication between the Catholics living in the territories [conquered by the United States during the Mexican-American War], and their respective ecclesiastical authorities, shall be open, free and exempt from all hindrance whatever, even although such authorities should reside within the limits of the Mexican Republic, as defined by this treaty; and this freedom shall continue, so long as a new demarcation of ecclesiastical districts shall not have been made, conformably with the laws of the Roman Catholic Church.”

In other words, Mexican Catholics could cross between the two countries for religious purposes and no one else. However, American authorities removed this provision from Article IX before signing the treaty and altogether struck Article X, which guaranteed that the American government would respect the property rights of their new wards.

Don’t believe the Chicano Studies urban myth that said the treaty guaranteed bilingual rights for

Mexicans, or that such a provision would even apply to the Mexicans who now live in the American Southwest, almost all who have no historical ties to the conquered Mexicans (who by and large didn’t consider themselves Mexican, but that’s another story).

Better yet, let’s all just get over the fact that the southwest United States once belonged to Mexico-as I’ve written before, Mexico ruled those territories from 1812 until 1848, a chronological fart between the much-longer reigns of the Spaniards (212 years), gabachos (158 years), and the Native Americans (eternal).

Dear Mexican, I’m Hispanic, not Mexican, and I hate it when people confuse me for one. I don’t like the stupid music you like, I don’t give a fuck about the stupid Virgin of Guadalupe, I don’t speak with the stupid accent, I don’t even look like an Indian. Why should all Hispanics be confused with these stupid, ignorant people?

— One High-Spanic Dear Wab, Because that’s your best shot to join our Reconquista.

Ever wanted to find out the answer to a pressing question you had about Mexican or Mexican culture? Ask the Mexican a question yourself via email at themexican@ askamexican.net, on the web at myspace.com/ocwab, or write to him via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433.