The Pulse - Vol. 6, issue 41

PERSONA ANIMA • THE WAYBACKS • CHEERLEADER ANGST

Hyping the Chattanooga Dance Party Scene

by Ernie Paik and Robert Warren Parker

News, Views, Arts & Entertainment • October 8-14, 2009 • Volume 6, Issue 41 • www.chattanoogapulse.com • pulse news 95.3 WPLZ

CONTENTS T H E P U L S E • C H AT TA N O O G A , T E N N E S S E E • O C T O B E R 8 , 2 0 0 9 • V O L U M E 6 , I S S U E 4 1

cover story

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NEWS & VIEWS 6 BEYOND THE HEADLINES 11 SHRINK RAP 17 LIFE IN THE NOOG

18 ON THE BEAT 23 SHADES OF GREEN 38 ASK A MEXICAN

ARTS & FEATURES 20 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT By Michael Crumb “persona/anima” not only presents various styles of figurative artwork, but it also provides interactive activities and a series of events to promote thought about identity—who and how we are.

25 FILM FEATURE By Phillip Johnston Reality and fantasy, documentary and fiction are all a blur in this week’s Arts and Education Council Independent Film Series pick. Paper Heart is a very independent film made mostly by people under 25.

31 TABLE SERVICE By Tara Morris From pizza, pasta, daily specials,and a plentiful variety of wine and beer, Bi Ba provides the originality and consistency that residents of Big Ridge, Hixson, and Middle Valley are ready to share with the Scenic City.

32 MUSICAL FEATURE By Hellcat Superdrag has come up quite often as a favorite in many of my interviews. It isn’t hard to understand why when you listen to them.

34 MUSICAL FEATURE By Stephanie Smith Often pigeonholed into the category of bluegrass, the four members of The Waybacks are all independently multi-talented musicians in their own right.

Cover photography by Robert Warren Parker

HYPING THE CHATTANOOGA DANCE PARTY SCENE

By Ernie Paik and Robert Warren Parker It’s the first Saturday of October at Contrapasso on Rossville Avenue, and the first Saturday of a month means it’s time for Banger’s Ball. A young woman in a bee costume flutters into the space; one young man wears a werewolf mask, and another is sporting a glow necklace hanging from his nose, going through his pierced septum.

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EDITOON LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PULSE BEATS CITY COUNCILSCOPE THE LIST POLICE BLOTTER

21 26 27 28 33 37

A&E CALENDAR MYSTICAL DUDE’S HOROSCOPE JONESIN’ CROSSWORD SPIRITS WITHIN MUSIC CALENDAR HALLOWEEN EVENTS

The entire contents of this publication are copyrighted and property of Brewer Media Group.

No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publishers. The Pulse utilizes freelance writers and the views expressed within this publication are not necessarily the views of the publishers or editors. The Pulse takes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, artwork or other materials.

The

Editoon

by Rick Baldwin

Publisher Zachary Cooper zcooper@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Editor Janis Hashe jhashe@chattanoogapulse.com News Editor Gary Poole gpoole@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Editor Kathryn Dunn calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising Sales Rick Leavell rleavell@chattanoogapulse.com Leif Sawyer leif@brewermediagroup.com Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano Chuck Crowder Hellcat Joshua Hurley Victoria Hurst Stuart James Phillip Johnston Matt Jones Josh Lang Tara Morris Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Stephanie Smith Alex Teach Julian Venable Colleen Wade

Letters to the Editor to fine me within one minute of the expiration time?

John O’Keefe-Odom

Editorial Intern Tara Morris Art Director Kelly Lockhart Art Department Sharon Chambers Damien Power Staff Photographer Damien Power Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Contact Info: Phone (423) 648-7857 Fax (423) 648-7860 E-mail info@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising advertising@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 phone (423) 648-7857 fax (423) 648-7860 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 500 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

Member

Ticketing Anger I got quite a chuckle out of Alex Teach’s police-themed column in last week’s Pulse [“Parking Fines Now: A True Parody”]. I especially liked the Apocalypse Now theme he had in there. Almost as funny as this parking ticket I got, one minute over. If you want to know why people in the city seem to have such trouble with parking tickets, maybe you should take a gander at the time stamp on this one. It was issued one minute past the expiration time. One minute!

Now, I’m not that mad; but, the CPD had nothing better to do than

Need More Police How is Mr. Mayor planning on adding 10 police officers per year with no academy scheduled? It takes over 15 months to get an academy class trained and ready. Littlefield is not even taking turnover into account which is scary. Given CPD’s turnover, if they started a class of 20 recruits tomorrow by the time the class was graduated they would need to have graduated 25 to account for the turnover. Someone please get the mayor to do something about this!

They will never grow the department unless they hire 35 to 45 officers per year.

Scott Montgomery Chattanooga Greenwashing Come to the Chattanooga Green meetings and see how few regular citizens attend these “citizen” advisory teams, compared to corporate citizens and bureaucrats. I sat in two citizen advisory action team meetings last week that seemed manipulated towards the development community by bureaucrats and corporate citizens working in lockstep.

As usual, I was one of only one or two citizens not working for a development industry agency, and not a bureaucrat.Although some of the teams are full of citizens (I hear the communications team is busy creating promotional slogans for how green the city is), it’s really scary to sit and be outvoted by corporate citizens on so-called “citizen” teams charged with advising the mayor on landscaping ordinances.

I don’t know many of us citizens that really want to be part of the Chattanooga Greenwashing! But when we get tired of the game, and leave the teams, who will be advising the mayor, and declaring: “the citizens have spoken?”

Lana Sutton Love For Abner Jay Thanks so much for the review of Abner Jay! He is one of my favorite artists and I listen to him frequently. I got the chance to see him perform in Chattanooga and got to meet him as well. That performance was one of the best I’ve ever been to. In fact, I’d put it right up there with seeing Tom Waits.

Thanks for shedding some much needed light on such an obscure and underappreciated artist.

Dave Dowda

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week: A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t like math. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like science ... If you want one of those new jobs, then you have to study math and science.”

— Hamilton County Mayor Claude Ramsey, telling a group of middle school students why they need to study if they want a good job in the future.

Cheerleaders, Christianity and the Buckle of the Bible Belt

By Gary Poole News Editor

The South has long been known as the “Bible Belt” for its traditions involving Christianity, most particularly Protestant Christianity. It has also been a long-standing battleground in the ongoing debate over separation of church and state. There have been numerous court cases involving Southern schools and governments over issues ranging from the display of the Ten Commandments in courthouses to school prayer.

So it wasn’t all that surprising last week when a decades-long practice involving Christianity and high-school football suddenly thrust Lakeview Fort Oglethorpe High School into the national spotlight. For years, the cheerleaders made the large paper banners for the football team to run through at the start of a game, a near-universal practice in high schools across the country. What set theirs apart was that they wrote inspirational messages on the banners that were taken from the Bible.

And for years, no one seemed to have any problem with this. The messages were all positive, there was no apparent attempt to proselytize, no requirements by school administrators on which verses to use, nor was there any outside influence on the cheerleaders to take a particular religious stance.

But after taking a course through Liberty University, an independent, fundamentalist Baptist university located in Lynchburg, Virginia that offers a number of online courses, one parent felt there was something wrong with the practice.

Donna Jackson, who lives in Ringgold, contacted Denia Reese, superintendent of Catoosa County Schools, and expressed concern that the practice could land the school district in legal trouble. So Reese banned the scripture verses to avoid any potential litigation.

“Personally, I appreciate this expression of their Christian values,” Reese said in a statement. “However, as superintendent I have the responsibility of protecting the school district from legal action by groups who do not support their beliefs.”

The reaction was anything but

calm.

Local talk radio stations and online forums were overwhelmed with calls and postings from irate parents, students and local citizens, upset at the decision. A protest rally at a local fast-food restaurant in Fort Oglethorpe last week drew several hundred supporters. Lakeview-Fort Oglethorpe’s home football game on Friday night drew such a large crowd that the Catoosa County Sheriff’s Office was forced to add extra security to keep things from getting out of hand.

And Jackson herself has been universally vilified, made out to be some sort of anti-Christian zealot, which she says is the furthest thing from the truth. “I am not offended by Bible verses, much less by Bible verses displayed publicly,” she said in a public statement. “I expressed concern that teachers could be subject to lawsuits or losing their jobs.

My concern was a direct result of the class I took this summer. I neither intended nor expected her [Reese] to take the drastic action that ensued.”

But the reaction didn’t stop there. A number of influential blogs picked up the story, which quickly made its way around the Internet, getting the attention of the American Family Association, a leading conservative group.

Tim Wildmon, the president of the group, joined in the verbal fray. “It’s just bizarre that we live at a time where a single complaint from one hypersensitive person can trample the right to free speech for an entire community,” he told his supporters. “We urge Ms. Reese and the Catoosa County School board not to give up the fight but to work with First Amendment law firms to craft a policy that will protect maximum student expression.”

He said he and his group feel very strongly that freedom of religion and freedom of speech were the first two

Here are several of the interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the October 13 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

5. Ordinances - Final Reading:

a) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to annex certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga known as Area 10A, being certain parcels adjacent to Old Lee Highway, Green Shanty Road, Rexway Lane, Ranco Circle, and Maywater Road, within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chattanooga, in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map.

“God-given” rights protected in the Bill of Rights. “When the Bible gets banned in Fort Oglethorpe, you know that religious liberty is in big trouble in America,” he warned.

Setting aside the rather obvious hyperbole regarding the “banning” of the Bible, which Superintendant Reese did not do, the anger expressed by many Christian and conservative groups has turned the once quiet Lakeview Fort Oglethorpe High School into the centerpiece in the oft-acrimonious debate over the separation of church and state.

Jackson, who has a son attending Lakeview Fort Oglethorpe, feels that her concerns have unfortunately been justified. “I did not call the superintendent and complain that the LFO cheerleaders’ signs violated federal law by promoting religion at a school function,” she clarified. “The call to the superintendent was in hope of heading off the type of community division that hasty actions have now caused.”

What will happen next? No one really knows for sure, but at least one school official seems pleased with the way the cheerleaders and students have handled to the controversy. Lakeview Fort Oglethorpe principal Jerry Ransom is proud of the way his kids have reacted. “They need to learn to stand up for what they believe,” he says.

“Even though it’s been hectic, it’s been a good week.”

b) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to annex certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga known as Area 10B, being certain parcels adjacent to Old Lee Highway, Apison Pike, Pattentown Road, Woodland Drive, and Old Woodland Drive, within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chattanooga, in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map.

Barring last-minute deferments (or bringing ordinances back up for re-voting), these should be the final two annexation ordinances to come before the city council. As a general note, once an ordinance is passed on final reading, it becomes law 30 days from that day.

So, once everything is said and done and voted upon, the last of the annexation parcels will be incorporated into the city by midNovember, just in time for Thanksgiving.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agendas, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_ Council/110_Agenda.asp

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Beyond The Headlines

The Magic of TennCare

By Stuart James

15 Most Popular Ice Cream Flavors 1. Vanilla, 29 percent 2. Chocolate, 8.9 percent 3. Butter pecan, 5.3 percent 4. Strawberry, 5.3 percent 5. Neapolitan, 4.2 percent 6. Chocolate chip, 3.9 percent 7. French vanilla, 3.8 percent 8. Cookies and cream, 3.6 percent 9. Vanilla fudge ripple, 2.6 percent 10. Praline pecan, 1.7 percent 11. Cherry, 1.6 percent 12. Chocolate almond, 1.6 percent 13. Coffee, 1.6 percent 14. Rocky road, 1.5 percent 15. Chocolate marshmallow, 1.3 percent Just in time for cooler weather (yes, we often do things out of season, but ice cream is good no matter how cold it is outside) we take a look at the favorite flavors scooped up at one of our many local ice cream parlors as well as what’s being sold at the supermarkets.

And if you’re surprised about vanilla topping the list, think about all the various ice cream bars and sandwiches and other such treats that all use vanilla as their base.

Source: International Ice Cream Association

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he Wall Street Journal recently interviewed Republican Congresswoman (TN) Marsha Blackburn on health care reform.

WSJ asked Blackburn how people in her state feel about health care reform. In response, Blackburn stated that Tennesseans do not want government bureaucracy on top of insurance bureaucracy.

Her constituents want less government interference and not more government interference.

She claimed people speak from experience in Tennessee, suggesting that Tennessee suffers from a failed public option health insurance program. WSJ then asked her about “The Magic of TennCare.”

Blackburn said that TennCare went into effect in 1994, that it was a test case and a very difficult program for Tennessee. She claimed the program experienced cost overruns and overusage. She claimed the program is difficult for the state to manage, suggesting TennCare is a failed public option health insurance program.

According to Blackburn, TennCare consumed a lot of the state budget leading to an income tax fight. Those leading the fight wanted to implement a state income tax to pay for the expanded usage of TennCare. She pointed out the proponents of the income tax lost their battle.

Blackburn, therefore, claimed the people of Tennessee know why “public option government run insurance” will not work—they know this from experience—the experience of TennCare.

Blackburn carefully used words to cast TennCare as “a [failed] public option government run insurance program.” However, as Paul Harvey would put it, here is the rest of the story: TennCare was mismanaged, there were cost overruns, and there was over-usage. The mismanagement, cost overruns, and over-usage occurred during Republican Gov. Don Sundquist's term as governor. During

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his eight years, Sundquist failed to manage TennCare appropriately. This mismanagement led to the income tax fight Blackburn talked about, a fight led by the Republican governor.

Blackburn did not mention the work of Gov. Phil Bredesen, the current Democratic governor.

Bredesen tackled TennCare and reformed the program, and accomplished his reform by reducing the number of people being covered, bringing costs under control, and establishing new programs

of public option insurance.

Under these programs, Tennessee imposes rules and regulations, while private health insurance companies provide the coverage for TennCare, TennKids and Cover Tennessee.

Additionally, consumers and the state can negotiate the best rate possible for each of the programs.

Cover Tennessee, which is the true public option insurance, is running successfully in Tennessee. Costs have been contained, and the program is providing valuable services for the people of Tennessee.

Gov. Bredesen did not propose an income tax to pay for any of the “public option” insurance programs.

Blackburn, a Republican, carefully constructed her words to convince us that public option insurance will not work. This type of “messaging” is the mode of operation of many Republicans. We need to pay close attention to what our elected leaders say or we will be duped by slick wording and half-truths.

Tennessee is not a model for failure of public option insurance; Tennessee may well be a model of success for public option insurance. Regardless of what happens with health insurance reform, it appears that Blackburn conveniently forgot the rest of the story and the Wall Street Journal failed to ask.

“Blackburn, a Republican, carefully constructed her words to convince us that public option insurance will not work. This type of ‘messaging’ is the mode of operation of many Republicans.” providing coverage to Tennesseans.

Bredesen's reform also provided affordable coverage by creating Cover Tennessee, a low-cost public option health insurance program. After completing his reform, Bredesen ran for reelection. He won, winning every county in Tennessee. People apparently learned from the successes

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A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• Some people dislike nosy neighbors, but occasionally having one next door can be a very good thing.

A McHann Drive resident called police when he noticed two men walking around to the back of his neighbor’s house. East Ridge officers arrived within a minute, and discovered pry marks on a rear door and several windows screens cut. They began searching the area and flushed one of the suspects, who attempted to run, but was captured hiding inside a car. A short time later, the second suspect was caught while hiding in a nearby house. The two suspects were charged with attempted aggravated burglary and taken to jail.

• When will drug runners learn how to drive? Once again, police were able to make a sizeable drug bust because of a simple traffic stop. An Alabama man was arrested by Bradley County deputies after he was pulled over for following too closely on I-75. When the deputy approached the vehicle, he noticed something wasn’t quite

right, and during a search of the car discovered two pounds of marijuana. The driver and passenger were arrested on drug and weapons charges…as well as being issued a citation for following too closely.

• One occasionally hears about a group of thieves who drive a large vehicle through the front of a shop.

One would generally assume that they did so on purpose, but a recent case involving a mobile phone store on Highway 153 raises some questions about driving ability. Three men in a Chevy Suburban smashed into the store and helped themselves to six cell phones.

But they didn’t get very far in their getaway, as they then wrecked their truck just a short distance away on Redlands Drive. Officers were quickly able to capture the three hapless thieves and recover the stolen phones.

Luckily for the rest of us on the road, it’s unlikely any of the three will be driving again anytime soon.

• Finally this week, the Hamilton

Chattanooga Street Scenes

County Sheriff’s Office needs your help. They are attempting to locate a possible witness to the fatal fire that claimed the life of Arthur Lawson on September 28 at 10110 Highway 58.

The witness is described as a white female, who identified herself as a former volunteer firefighter. She stopped her truck at the scene and went to the rear of the burning building to see if she could contain the fire. Unfortunately, she not only wasn’t able to contain the fire, she also apparently didn’t stick around to speak with authorities. Anyone who may know the identity of this person is requested to contact Detective Ric Whaley at (423) 209-8940.

Photography by Damien Power

A back alley just off Cherry Street downtown.

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Shrink Rap

I Rescued a Human Today

By Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D www.DrRPH.com

I

just returned from the Chattanooga Market, and today was animal adoption day, or Bring Your Enormous Horse of a Dog to Market Day, or something like that.

Actually, the spotlight was on McKamey’s Animal Care and Adoption Center (www.

McKameyAnimalCenter.org), and lots of pups were around, enjoying being out and about with their humans, taking in all the sights, sounds, and delicious smells.

I have to tell you—I love the Market. Striking up conversations with artists, farmers, and merchants… oh, my. And supporting, as many do here in town, all things local, from art to veggies.

As I strolled, trying not to eat all the peanut brittle samples, every once in a while I’d feel a gentle brush across my thigh. It felt like an act of flirtation, but alas, it was just the tail of one of the many dogs accompanying their humans through the market. I didn’t bring Betty Lou, as I figured it’d be a bit overwhelming for my gal who’s definitely not used to crowds. (She’s more the small-dinnerparty type.) Well, that and the fact that undoubtedly she’d be zipping to and fro, wide-eyed with excitement, and someone—likely me—would end up getting tangled in the leash and tripped to the concrete.

But it was a wonderful irony that dogs milled about today, as you’ll read in a minute.

See, I’ve been thinking about the ways we abandon, and rescue, not pets—but ourselves.

There will be more about this topic in future Shrink Raps, but for now let me introduce the idea by starting us thinking of how we let ourselves down. For example, a sober person may experience selfdisappointment from falling off the wagon.

For someone else it may be abandoning personal

principles. Another person may stray from himself through behaviors for which he later feels shame and remorse. There are countless ways we abandon ourselves, in ways both big and small, through thoughts, words, and actions, leaving ourselves confused and stranded by the side of our psychic roads, replaying an unconscious echo of youthful experiences of abandonment by our parents, and adult experiences of relationship pain. “I’m not deserving of…” is a perfect example.

The next part of this, of course, is about how we then rescue ourselves.

We may not yet have learned healthy coping tools to do so in positive ways, and perhaps struggle with unhealthy rescue attempts, such as addictions or compulsive behaviors. Attempts that leave us feeling anxious and depressed, actually adding to the problem.

But we can learn to rescue ourselves in healthier ways, ways that bring us back to ourselves, our true, highest selves. Meditation, prayer, conversations, ponderings, living as mindfully and consciously as possible, are but a few ways which serve to bring us back to center, back on track, back home to ourselves again.

And when we cannot yet rescue from within, we can look outward healthfully, to friends and loved ones, counselors, spiritual leaders, and yes, to “man’s best friend.”

H’mm, so to come full circle here, we rescue the animals, right? I have to wonder, when it comes to our pets, who’s really rescuing whom?

I want to share with you a sweet story sent to me from a reader, Scott, who rescued a dog after an earlier one died tragically. He said his new rescue brought him and his partner closer together. I can understand that; certainly The Betty is a regular source of goofy and unconditional comfort

in my life. Here is the story. (Thanks, Scott.)

I rescued a human today.

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her. I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn’t be afraid.

As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn’t want her to know that I hadn’t been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn’t want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn’t feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone’s life. She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I pushed my head up against the bars to comfort her.

Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship.

A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes. I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven’t walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.

Until next time: “My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet.” — Edith Wharton

“Meditation, prayer, conversations, ponderings, living as mindfully and consciously as possible, are but a few ways which serve to bring us back to center, back on track, back home to ourselves again.”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and is the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.”

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Cover Story

Banger's Ball Story and Photography by Ernie Paik and Robert Warren Parker

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Cover Story

Hyping the Chattanooga Dance Party Scene It’s the first Saturday of

October at Contrapasso on Rossville Avenue, and the first Saturday of a month means it’s time for Banger’s Ball. A young woman in a bee costume flutters into the space; one young man wears a werewolf mask, and another is sporting a glow necklace hanging from his nose, going through his pierced septum.

Most people are dressed relatively normally, though, although the outfits are a bit more eye-catching than usual. Giddy young women crowd together and make their best goofy/sexy poses for the camera at the Banger’s Booth, while a techno bass drum beat relentlessly throbs through everyone’s spines. On the dance floor, moist from fallen sweat and possibly spilled beer, hundreds of energized people pogo to the beat as one gigantic mass.

Chattanoogans who pay attention to the local music scene are aware of a swell of dance parties that have emerged over the last few months—the reoccurring Banger’s Ball and Computers and Friends parties and events like World Town and Dance the Hunger Fight. There’s a healthy pool of Chattanooga DJs, including K789, DJ Dust, DJ Gambit, and Nick Malady, in addition to the core Banger’s crew, and there’s a slew of acts that mingle with the party scene, like RobosApien, Machines Are People Too, Digital Butter, and Opportunities.

Even some of those who aren’t in tune with the scene have likely encountered the torrential onslaught of promotion in some form or fashion online and around town.

Plugs for the highly successful Banger’s Ball events are particularly ubiquitous, bringing to mind a state of saturation rarely seen since those “Head On: apply directly to the forehead” ads on TV. One attendee’s Facebook status expressed a sentiment that’s probably not so uncommon: “[I’m] so tired of Banger’s Ball ads. I’m going! Leave me alone!”

these events become so successful? Who are these people? What is the state of dance music in Chattanooga? The Pulse queried several key players in the scene—Daniel Lewis (a.k.a. DJ BACK TALK), Tyler Wallin (a.k.a. DJ Drugmoney), and promoter Shawn Roberts (a.k.a. Shawn LxC)—to get some answers.

Banger’s Ball grew out of house parties, fueled by dissatisfaction with the way parties were typically being thrown. Roberts explains, “I think people did not understand what a party was.

I mean, to some, it’s gathering around food. To some, it’s just having a few beers with friends.

For us, it was generating this mega ball of energy and positivity that no matter who you were, or what subculture you came from, you’d be into it. And we could share this awesome music we were finding with people.”

“For us, it was generating this mega ball of energy and positivity that no matter who you were, or what subculture you came from, you’d be into it.”

The promotion may be overwhelming at times, but it’s clearly born from enthusiasm.

And, one can’t argue with numbers: the Banger’s Ball events consistently draw hundreds of satisfied party-goers. How did

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Cover Story

Both Lewis and Wallin have musical backgrounds rooted in the local D.I.Y. punk and hardcore scene, and they’re actually newcomers to the realm of dance music. Wallin recalls falling in love in 2007 with psychedelic music and electronic bands such as Air and Aphex Twin, but the event that served as his electronica baptism was seeing Daft Punk in Las Vegas with Roberts.

“I was hooked!” says Wallin. “2008 rolls around, and all I wanted to do was learn how to DJ and make electronic music. By that early summer, I was doing house parties a couple of times a month, while learning about all of it at the same time.”

Lewis, who grew up on heavy metal and punk, says, “I never thought I’d be listening to this music,” and his own moment of revelation happened last year, when experiencing French electro artists Justice and DJ Mehdi in Orlando, at Wallin’s insistence. “The music...had a very distorted, pumped-up, and aggressive vibe. I was blown away at how intense the atmosphere

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was. It was a crazy party—beautiful girls everywhere, people going nuts.”

The friends became increasingly eager to throw an event in line with the ones they had witnessed, but the house party setup had its share of challenges.

“We tried using a P.A. once, but the cops decided that North Chatt was no place for that,” relates Roberts.

Lewis, Roberts, and Wallin attempted to move the party setting outside of a house and into a bona fide venue, but the catalyst for making it happen turned out to be the involvement of Ezra Robertson (a.k.a.

DJ BNGRZ), the originator of Banger’s Ball. Robertson booked the first event at the Riverhouse on Frazier Avenue in early June of this year, and gauging from the crowd they assembled, the organizers knew that a bigger venue was necessary. For the second Banger’s Ball, Robertson secured the Lowdown on Cherokee Avenue, and this was when the promotional machine was dialed up to eleven.

The audience for Banger’s Ball just kept growing, and the current home of the monthly dance party is the Contrapasso space.

Dance music is constantly shifting and evolving, and over the decades, while many styles have emerged, they never quite go away, forming a huge snowball of influences. Funk, disco, and rap in the ’70s led to electro, new wave, and house in the ’80s; since then, countless subgenres have been developed and explored, like big beat, jungle, and trance. The current flavors of the Chattanooga DJ scene include electro and dubstep, but the DJs don’t feel obligated to limit themselves to formulas.

Turntables and 12-inch records are no longer de rigueur for DJs, and it’s common to find the Chattanooga players using CDJs (professional table-top CD players) or laptop computers.

Simply being a DJ is easy—sure, anyone can hit play on a CD player or drop a needle on a

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record—but it takes more to be a good DJ. “The DJ is the maestro,” explains Roberts.

“The DJ watches the crowd. The DJ plays with them, with peaks and drops, basic bridges to give them time to catch their breath, and mad breakdown bangers to make you lose your mind.”

When considering Myers-Briggs personality assessments, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that DJs can align with the “crafter” and “composer” types. Being respected and admired as a DJ often means doing much more than just playing tracks, and the Banger’s Ball players are apt to assume the role of sound collage artist, taking and appropriating bits and pieces from whatever sounds and songs they might find interesting. It’s also not a stretch to say that DJs can fall in with the “performer” personality type, too.

“I try to have a very vicious attitude with the whole thing,” says Lewis. “We like to say we ‘kill’ the crowd. No one wants to watch a DJ bob his head and play the same boring house track into another boring house track. I want to be jumping up and down, making a scene.

Almost taking the piss out of the whole thing and going farther than just dancing! I guess that comes from playing in hardcore and punk rock bands.”

“The music...had a very distorted, pumped-up, and aggressive vibe. I was blown away at how intense the atmosphere was. It was a crazy party— beautiful girls everywhere, people going nuts.”

Skilled DJs are needed for tremendous, memorable dance parties, but to explain the wild popularity of Banger’s Ball requires giving much credit to the ear-buzzingly incessant and across-the-board hyping by its tireless team of promoters. Although “promoter” is its own personality type, the work of a promoter can overlap with creative roles, and there is undoubtedly an artistry involved with successful marketing. Since the second Banger’s Ball, the local design collective Young Monster has created striking posters in its Rauschenbergmeets-Warhol style for the parties. Posters are just the beginning; there are floods of Facebook event invitations, tweets on Twitter, handbills, and so on. However, as overloaded as it might seem at times, the promotional aspect of Banger’s Ball is based on trust and sincerity.

“I never hype things I’ve never tried or been to before,” says Roberts. “I pride myself in being

Cover Story a cultured dude. To know what’s up. To be into something, I’m really going to understand it and deliver the passion I feel for it to people. ’Cause you never want to be caught faking the funk, or not keeping it real.”

Roberts observes, regarding the use of social media as a communication method, that “… you’re building this crowd that you could have never connected to before.” The delivery method is important, as is the expression of the message itself.

On the art of hyping and his approach, Roberts says, “If I were to hype this steak sandwich I ate at lunch, I would go after it like this: ‘This steak sandwich—Jesus Christ. You will never have another taste annihilate your tongue as this sandwich will when you try it.’

That’s got tons of energy at different levels built in it. And people think, ‘Maybe I ought to take a bite out of that sandwich, too.’”

On Saturday, one anonymous party-goer provided a critical, yet optimistic take on the phenomenon: “I think like any scene, in the beginning, everyone gets really excited—it tends to be more about hype. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but I think there’s a lot of naïveté and some inflated egos. As things progress and people start to understand quality, then the talent will hopefully get better.”

Banger’s Ball devotee David Morgan Hoo gives his perspective, saying, “In Chattanooga, the electronic music scene hasn’t been around for a while, and I don’t think it existed quite like this. So for something like Banger’s Ball to be here is kind of a big deal. And since it isn’t common for such an event to be here, I think that certainly results in more participation.”

Attendee Megan Hollenbeck recognizes that the popularity of Banger’s Ball has the power to “… inspire other events, and now there are more benefit events that center on electronic music.”

She hopes that this invites new talent and nudges the focus of the scene so that it’s “more about creating art.”

Dance music is social music, and having the right atmosphere at a dance party is key. It’s about providing a space where people can escape, slip into a crowd of both friends and strangers, maybe get gussied up and flirt a little, and not be

afraid about looking silly.

“I definitely feel on a social level, you can’t always connect with some people,” says Lewis. “[While] DJing, you get to create an ambience and an atmosphere for the evening. You feed off of the crowd, way more than being in a band.

You are in control of the soundtrack to that person’s life right then and there. You play a song; you look into the crowd, and that guy you wouldn’t normally get along with is looking back at you, falling in love with the song that you’re playing. And there is a respect and trust feeling

“The Banger’s Ball players are apt to assume the role of sound collage artist, taking and appropriating bits and pieces from whatever sounds and songs they might find interesting.” made with the crowd.”

The escapist appeal of such events is apparent, and people can step outside of their normal selves, as Lewis explains. “The cool factor goes up when people act like they normally wouldn’t—thrashing, screaming, getting halfnaked, falling over each other,” says Lewis.

It goes too far when escaping means overindulging, though; at last Saturday’s Banger’s Ball, a damper was put on the proceedings

around 2 a.m. when fire trucks and an ambulance arrived to pick up one poor soul.

Despite this, few would dispute that the amount of positive energy far outweighs the negative energy.

So what’s next for the Banger’s Ball crowd?

Lewis says, “We have plans to keep bringing more epic events to Chattanooga, as well as more acts from out of town. We started this without any idea that it would blow up so big, and now that it has a following, we want to bring more parties and DJs to Chattanooga’s night life. We have talks of putting out a CD of DJ mixes by the Banger’s Ball DJs under Banger’s Ball Productions, as well as printing T-shirts for a very important Banger’s Ball coming up.”

Wallin adds, “We want to keep this going as long as everyone else wants it going and the love for the music, vibes, and good times stays the same. Bigger acts are definitely in mind, and hopefully we can deliver on that end.”

The success of Banger’s Ball and other dance party events in the recent months has far exceeded people’s expectations, and the scene players have also defied expectations on a personal level, regarding what talents and tastes they might have. Ultimately, all people involved are promoters to some degree, although they might not have thought of themselves in that way. When people step into different roles, they expand how they define themselves, and sometimes it’s good to just go ahead and put on the bee costume and jump right in.

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Life In The Noog

The Man Who Helped Put The “Playhouse” in Pee-wee’s Playhouse

By Chuck Crowder

M

y brother and I have always been sort of cutting edge in our early adoption of pop culture fodder—some of which becomes hugely popular in the mainstream long after we’ve told countless deaf ears of its existence.

For example, we used to watch The Tracy Ullman Show back around 1987-88 primarily to see the cartoon short that always aired just after the third skit…called The Simpsons. Now its own show currently in its 20th season, The Simpsons need no further explanation—although Tracy Ullman might.

We were into all kinds of television shows which never made it past a few seasons—like Family Guy before it got cancelled the first time, Get A Life with Chris Elliott and Brian Doyle-Murray, and The Adventures of Pete & Pete, which featured cameo guest appearances by everyone from Michael Stipe and Iggy Pop to Steve Buscemi and Patty Hearst.

And there was one show that we never missed on Saturday mornings in the mid-to-late ’80s. This gem was based on the comedy of a guy we’d first seen as the only two people warming seats in the Northgate Mall movie theater on the opening night of Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. I’m speaking of course, of Pee-wee Herman. His subsequent Saturday morning show, Pee-wee’s Playhouse was unlike anything we’d ever seen before—full of stupid clever stuff mainly aimed at adults—and we loved it.

The premise was basically Bullwinkle meets Captain Kangaroo on acid. Pee-wee lived in a wacky playhouse full of talking furniture and appliances. There was Chairy (a loveable armchair, with arms), Pterri (an immature puppet pterodactyl), Conky (a robot that provided the show’s “secret word” each week), Clocky (“do you know what time it is?”), Globey (a spinning globe with a French accent), Randy (a string puppet who was the playhouse bully) and many more.

In addition to interacting with

those animated inanimate objects, Peewee was also constantly visited by his real-life friends like Jambi the Genie (John Paragon), Miss Yvonne (Lynne Marie Stewart), Reba The Mail Lady (S. Epatha Merkerson), Captain Carl (Phil Hartman) and Cowboy Curtis (Lawrence Fishburne). Now, you may have noticed a few famous names on that list. Well they weren’t famous at the time. And neither were the show’s clay animators Peter Lord and Nick Park, until they went on to create Wallace & Gromit and movies like Chicken Run. In fact, the show was developed and produced on a shoestring budget, and anyone wanting to take a chance at stardom—or just get some air time—seemed to want to participate in this incredibly creative outlet.

Jimmy Smits and Sandra Bernhard both appeared as one-off characters.

Even Rob Zombie worked on the show as a production assistant. But it was one of the show’s creative designers who should hit us all a little closer to home.

Wayne White served on the design team that dreamed up the actual playhouse and all of the talking furniture, puppets and special effects that helped the show win 22 Emmy awards during its run.

But before that, White was simply a puppeteer working in Nashville, by way of Hixson, Tennessee.

That’s right, HixsonHigh-graduate-done-good Wayne White moved on to New York and then Los Angeles to become one of the most revered puppeteers in modern times. In fact, most of his art is now owned by private collectors (i.e. rich and famous folk) if not on display in some of those city’s most prestigious museums.

Ironically, the one place that’s never seen even one sketch of White’s massive body of work is the Hunter Museum (believe it or not)—much to the dismay of his parents

who still call Hixson home. But we can catch a glimpse into White’s world through a new book of his sketches and stories spitefully titled, Maybe now I’ll get the respect I so richly deserve. Featuring an extensive interview by designer Todd Oldham, it’s quite an amazing piece of art in and of itself.

If you’re interested in checking it out, or just shaking Wayne’s hand in person, then come to Winder Binder on Frazier Avenue Monday, October 12 at 6:30 p.m. to meet the man yourself. He’ll be there telling stories and signing books—surely with his proud parents close by.

And if you can’t make it there, but will be in L.A. sometime soon, check out White’s work in a new stage production of Pee-wee’s Playhouse, opening there later this year. In addition to starring Paul Reubens, it features the work of someone who we in the ‘noog should all be very proud of.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his wildly popular website www.thenoog.com

“This gem was based on the comedy of a guy we’d first seen as the only two people warming seats in the Northgate Mall movie theater on the opening night of Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.”

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On The Beat

Alcohol Related

By Alex Teach

I

unconsciously shifted my boots to dislodge them from the adhesive effects of the partially dried urine on the floor, staring transfixed at a bit of graffiti on the condom machine gracing the wall above the commode I was making use of. So deep in thought was I that my head tilted to the left in mid-chew, letting the hot dog I was working on with my free hand drift downwards a bit just before I burst into muffled laughter, flecks of partially chewed bread and beef (and lips and rectum, I imagine) joining the sticky mess that was the floor on which I stood.

“GUM’S GONE BAD—WON’T CHEW”, it read in thick permanent ink.

(Pause for a moment. It takes a second before you can fully visualize some Nimrod chewing on a prophylactic thinking it’s a piece of candy before settling on this proclamation.) I liked it, and tried to imagine the source of the advice without taking too long to file it away as something most likely alcohol related.

Ah, such a source of entertainment, that magical phrase: “Alcohol Related.” I killed the remaining hot dog and secured my gear (in that order) and washed up in the sink of this tiny convenience-store restroom, thinking of the myriad events alcohol had shaped in my criminally investigative travels. I left the bathroom and passed overpriced racks of Brillo Pads and snackey-cakes when the sight of Plexiglas encased “Yellow Jackets” stimulants display produced an even larger grin on my face than the one I had upon exiting the filthy crapper, and I came to a slow halt to better focus as I reminisced.

The source of the memory was a local disc jockey and an attorney.

Both professions were as rife with the debaucherous and unabashed chemical abuse and penchant for buggery as any self-respecting fireman or U.S. congressman, but these two made even the aforementioned comparable professions appear as Mormon Church pamphlets on the floor of a Phish concert in Vermont.

My mind drifted to a beautiful Chattanooga Sunday afternoon around 11 a.m., which naturally meant both the DJ and the attorney were as drunk

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as a pair of football bats. The topic of a yellow jacket nest being aroused during the prior week’s mowing began to infuriate them, and being incredibly clever, they devised a plan that would bypass such pedestrian weapons as “bug and hornet spray” and other chemicals in favor of advanced conventional weapons. And it is with this that I proudly introduce the appearance of the Shop-Vac 962 Wet/ Dry Vacuum and its 6.25 horsepower motor, which produces a 200 MPH inductive wind that the smallest nonAmerican cars couldn’t hope to escape the wrath of the Almighty from. They also had vodka with their iced tea.

The intrepid pair approached the offending nest with the use of an extension cord, and with great deliberation they jammed the free-end of the hose they were holding into the earthen entrance of the underground nest, and flipped the machine “on”.

Minutes passed as the great device worked its magic and the two toasted one another, literally, as not so much as a single bug invaded their space during the industrial vacuum’s tornadic reign. Five full minutes passed before they disengaged the switch and quickly stuffed the tip of the machines vacuum tube with soft but stable newspaper to prevent their quarries’ escape, and their self glorification flowed as easily as the condensation down the sides of their iced glasses. As time passed, however, so did their confidence in their feat, as they began to doubt their success based on a continuing lack of yellow jackets or any noise from the Shop-Vac. And such was the embryo of their tragic (and alcohol-based) miscalculation.

It was the DJ that first screwed up the courage to lean down beside the body of the machine and gently tap against the side of the canister to elicit a response from the would-be inhabitants within. Producing no discernable results, the tapping progressed to a flathanded slapping, and still nothing was heard by either man. Now furious at thinking their entire endeavor a fraud, they elected to produce definitive proof of their engineering marvel by removing the lid of the Shop-Vac canister, despite all risk and appearance of common sense. With surprising reservation, it was the attorney who popped the safety releases from the sides of the vacuum canister and lifted the motor-section from the main body of the device…thus freeing what quickly became an opaque cloud of yellow and black fury the likes of which I was grateful to see from behind the protective screen of a porch.

A protective screen our dynamic duo

“ It takes a second before you can fully visualize some Nimrod chewing on a prophylactic thinking it’s a piece of candy.” did not have to their advantage.

A cloud of yellow jackets of near Biblical proportions arose in direct proportion to the agony that began immediately and progressed through the remainder of the story. The DJ ran screaming as he literally broke through a neighbor’s wooden fence with comic effect in order to jump into a swimming pool for relief, while the attorney sought refuge inside his Audi just outside in the driveway. It is of note that while his choice was less effective (as it enabled several scores of his venom-filled agitators to accompany him), in hindsight I respected it more because it allowed him to continue holding his beverage…true homage to the loyalty to Alcohol only the dedicated and otherwise addicted possess.

The day, as most tragedies do, eventually wound down…but not without a fond (if not searing) memory of these events, and my smile remained as I exited the store and slowly got into my patrol car. As I ducked inside it, fleeing my own imaginary swarm of insects, I cringed at the very real pain of catching my knee against the frame just so, but it too caused a smile.

For that pain, too…was “Alcohol Related”.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student at UTC, an up and coming carpenter, auto mechanic, prominent boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

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Arts & Entertainment

Jung at Heart

By Michael Crumb

C

reateHere has changed the name of its gallery space to 55Here, and this space is full of characters—including you, should you choose to come and play. “persona/anima” not only presents various styles of figurative artwork, but it also provides interactive activities and a series of events to promote thought about identity—who and how we are.

Jessica Martin, curator, emphasizes how interaction plays an integral role in this show, both within this exhibit and during upcoming events that will play with aspects of identity. Jessica and Katie Waddell created a playroom within this exhibit, complete with painted wallpaper and company kitsch, with accessories, so that folks can “dress” and take Polaroids of themselves for display on an adjacent wall. (It’s not so long since Polaroid announced it would no longer be producing its film, so this experience now presents a rare opportunity.)

“Persona” represents a commonplace in the perfomative arts; for example, “cosplay.”

Carl Jung defined the concept of “anima” along with its gender-specific counterterm “animus” as “a spontaneous production of the unconscious,” comparing anima to the oriental “maya”, “spinner of illusion.”

“Anima/animus” internal projections arise from the unconscious at its interface with the “collective unconscious,” Jung’s term for the deeper brain structure that we all share. These projections underlie social interaction in such a way that they provide a powerful context for individuals who are granted confidence, but, paradoxically, who are largely unable to relate to others, particularly other genders. Sometimes these projections will match up well, a basis for love.

The recent showing of the film Glen or Glenda at 55Here presents an interesting example. It’s probably fair to say that “Glenda” represents an “external projection” of “Glen”’s internally projected anima, highly controversial.

Of the artwork on view, Matthew Grady’s three pieces, “The Entertainer,” “Adept of the Cold Flame,” and “Chivalry” are based on Tarot designs and incorporate comic book-style graphics. These images convey shock, provoking the viewer to consider deeper issues, the difficult conscious terrain of the anima.

Michael Woods’ “Repose,” thick with color, presents an odalisque figure, an image of deep stillness, inviting contemplation, even as this white figure appears to contemplate the viewer.

Mia Bergeron’s tactile charcoal backgrounds put into relief two nuanced faces. “Fear” and “Pause” are rendered with a paradoxical exactness where precise expressions convey depths.

Tara Harris’s mounted digital prints “Where We Can Eat For Free” and “That’s Just Untrue” extract moments with stylistic range, suggesting imponderables of our days.

Daniel Wroe’s “Um-Glow?” brings an element

“These images convey shock, provoking the viewer to consider deeper issues, the difficult conscious terrain of the anima.”

Three dresses by Kimara Dawn adorn the main gallery window. “Morgan Le Fay,” “Augustine,” and “Charmaine” will come off their stands when models present them during the “Model Mingle Cocktail Event” next week. Other designers involved include Allison Burke, Young Monster, Bridget Miller, Leo Handmade, Sondra Aten and Collective Clothing. In this case, interaction will involve the models’ presence among the guests, rather than their “presentation” to the guests.

“Personae” up close. “persona/anima” exemplifies efforts to contextualize art within environmental freeplay.

The act or art emerges into a social context.

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of humor to its mini-installation of mixed media faces that interact with each other. “Has Someone Just Turned On the Light?” drolly ambiguous, these characters remind us that serious art can be fun.

There are more pieces to discover and more events to attend, with interactivity offering viewers more creative opportunities. Will you play, too?

persona/amima Free 55Here, CreateHere, 55 E. Main Street (423) 648-2195. www.createhere.org Model Mingle Cocktail Event Wednesday, October 19, 6-8 p.m.

A Creation of Character Luncheon Featuring Garry Posey and Kim Jackson Wednesday, October 21: 11:30 a.m. – 1 p.m.

Costume and Mask Party Friday, October 30, all day.

A&E Calendar Friday

Thursday

Fall Meet & Greet at Shuptrine Fine Arts Group Reception, new works and chocolate-making demo.

Free 5 – 8 p.m.

Shuptrine Fine Art and Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineasrtsgroup.com

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Irving Sandler at “New York Cool” Reception 6 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org “Morocco: An Exhibition of Paintings by Jack Denton” Gallery Talk 6 p.m. The Gallery, 3918 Dayton Blvd. (423) 870-2443. www.redbankgallery.com Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Beauty and the Beast 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage. 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com “Persona + Anima” Create Here, 55 East Main St. Ste. 105. (423) 648-2195. www.createhere.org

UTC Music Faculty Concert Series Nikolasa Tejero, clarinet and Sin-Hsing Tsai, piano, with special guest Monte Coulter, percussion.

Free 7:30 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Building, Roland Hayes Concert Hall, corner of Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music

Saturday

Disney’s Beauty and the Beast Belle, the Beast and the gang are a hit at the CTC. $10 - $25 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Monday Wind Ensemble Concert 7:30 p.m. Conn Theatre, Lee University, 1053 Church St. (423) 614-8340.

“Speak Easy” Spoken word and poetry 8 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9040. www.mudpierestaurant.com Works by Cat Collier, Valerie Fleming, Lisa Norris and Ellen Franklin Gannon Art Gallery, 3250 Brainerd Rd. (423) 622-8256.

“Maggie!”

Shuptrine Fine Art and Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

“Magnificent Fifty” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924.

“Fresh: Emerging Artists” Association for Visual Arts, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282.

“Morocco: An Exhibition of Paintings by Jack Denton” Reception 5 p.m. The Gallery, 3918 Dayton Blvd. (423) 870-2443. www.redbankgallery.com Southern Fried Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre 7 p.m. The Colonnade, 264 Catoosa Cir. (706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org Friday Nigh Improv 7 p.m. Humanities Theatre, Chattanooga State. 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3113.

Endgame 7:30 p.m. Conn Theatre, Lee University, 1053 Church St. (423) 614-8340.

Chattanooga Dances!

7:30 p.m. Chattanooga H.S for the Creative Arts, 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5942.

James Johann Comedy 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Beauty and the Beast 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com The Caucasian Chalk Circle 8 p.m. Sanderson Hall, Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (916) 642-3430.

The Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Transfigurations with Peterson Toscano 7 p.m. Unitarian Universalist Church, 3224 Navajo Dr.

Sunday The B Play 10:30 a.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Theatre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538. www.theatrecentre.com Rocktoberfest 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten St. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531. www.seerockcity.com Mosaic Market 11 a.m. 412 Market St. (corner of 4th/Market) (423) 624-3915.

The Caucasian Chalk Circle 2:30 p.m. Sanderson Hall, Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (916) 642-3430.

The Mystery at the Nightmare High School Reunion 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com

“Southern Fried Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre” 7 p.m. The Colonnade, 264 Catoosa Cir. (706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org Endgame 7:30 p.m. Conn Theatre, Lee University, 1053 Church St. (423) 614-8340.

James Johann Comedy 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Wizard of Oz 8 p.m. Memorial Auditiorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5166. www.chattanoogaonstage.com The Mystery of the Red NeckItalian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com

Tuesday

Wednesday

The Rhythm of Life: Songs by Cy Coleman 6 p.m. Chattanooga H.S for the Creative Arts, 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5942.

Chattanooga Writers Guild Meeting 7 p.m. Chattanooga-Hamilton Bicentennial Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310.

“Sticky Situation” sculpture

by Johnston Foster & “Gazer” paintings by Christine Gray Opening Reception 7 p.m. Cress Gallery, 752 Vine St. (423) 304-9789.

Landscapes by Megan Lightell River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033.

“Tesserae” works by Leslie Dulin In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214.

Day Trip to High Museum in Atlanta with the Hunter Museum 8 a.m. Hunter Museum of Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 752-2045. www.huntermuseum.org Art 21-Art in the 21st Century Lecture 5:30 p.m. AVA, 30 Frazier Avenue.

(423) 265-4282, ext. 104. www.avarts.org Multicultural Literature Book Club: One Hundred Years of Solitude 6 p.m. Rock Point Books, 401 Broad St. (423) 756-2855. www.rockpointbooks.com “Close to Home” Photography

by Mark Wood 7 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy. Lookout Mtn, GA. (706) 419-1430. www.covenant.edu

The Wizard of Oz Last chance to see this big Broadway-style touring show. $30-$45 2 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 642-TIXS. www.chattanoogaonstage.com

Rocktoberfest 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten St. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531.

PRIDE Festival Day 1-5 p.m. Miller Stage & Plaza, MLK Blvd. with Georgia Ave. www.tennesseevalleypride.com Endgame 2 p.m. Conn Theatre, Lee University, 1053 Church St. (423) 614-8340.

Beauty and the Beast 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534.

Community Hymn Festival 3 p.m. First Baptist Church, 401 Gateway Ave. (423) 622-3033.

James Johann Comedy 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd., (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

The 9th Annual Chattanooga Dances!

Chattanooga’s diverse dance community in works ranging from ballet to modern to jazz choreography. Companies include Ballet Tennessee, Baylor’s Verve, Center for Creative Arts’ Project Motion, Chattanooga Ballet, Contrapasso Modern Dance Co., and GPS’s Terpsichord. $5 7:30 p.m., Friday, October 9 Center for Creative Arts Auditorium, 1301 Dallas Road. (423) 209-5942.

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Shades Of Green

Danish and Green

By Victoria Hurst

I

n the past few weeks, I have been trying to present some ideas on how the average Chattanoogan can make steps towards participating in environmental stewardship. And with frightening prospects and realities (see last week’s column, “The Isle of Plastic”) becoming more present, it might behoove one to ask: What are the people in power doing? What are world leaders doing to take charge of the many crises threatening the planet?

Well, you should be pleased to know that a new climate protocol is under discussion. Members of the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC), an organization based in Bonn, Germany, will be meeting to discuss developing new policy. The need to create this policy is pressing, as the Kyoto Protocol (to prevent climate changes and global warming) expires in 2012.

A climate conference will be held this December in Copenhagen, Denmark. The Danish government will host members of the UNFCCC, and the goal of the conference will be to end with a Copenhagen Protocol (similar to the Kyoto Protocol).

One hundred eighty countries are expected to be represented.

Government representatives, journalists, and other attendees are expected to number around 8,000.

Connie Hedegaard, the Danish minister of climate and energy, will represent the government of Denmark. However, the former prime minister, Anders Fogh Rasmussen, is the one who initiated hosting the conference. Hedegaard was quoted in an interview on cop15.dk as saying “If the whole world comes to Copenhagen and leaves without making the needed political agreement, then I think it’s a failure that is not just about climate. Then it’s the whole global democratic system not being able to deliver results in one of the defining challenges of our century. And that is and should not be a possibility. It’s not an option.”

Preliminary discussions between different governments will, hopefully, resolve a variety of topics before the actual conference. Then, focus can remain on the most important issues.

Some governments are concerned with the financial resources needed to aid poorer countries in their environmental efforts. For example, Polish representatives are reluctant to contribute funds to the UN to aid impoverished countries. Poland has extremely high unemployment rates and is home to some of the poorest regions in Europe. Their government has a hard time seeing the justification in sending money to other parts of the world when counties in Europe have their share of financial problems.

The conference in Copenhagen is the 15th “conference of parties” being held by the Framework Convention on Climate Change. The

Danish government has expressed the hope that not only the subject of the conference will have an inspiring influence, but also the conference itself. On a side note, organizers are also working on installing a windmill near the site to provide climatefriendly energy for the conference.

There seems to be an aura of hope radiating around this conference.

Countries that were previously being reserved about their views have started to come forward and show signs of cooperation, including Japan, China, India, and Indonesia.

Another quotation from Hedegaard: “If we don’t deliver in Copenhagen, then I cannot see when again you can build up a similar pressure on all the governments of this world to deliver. So I think we should be very, very cautious not to miss the opportunity.”

We will all have to wait and see what the outcome of these discussions and this conference will be. In the meantime, though, it is encouraging to know that action is being taken by those who may have the most influence and power to make a change.

For more information, check out the Conference’s official website: en.cop15.dk/frontpage You can also share your personal opinions and read the opinions of “well-known climate debaters” on the site’s “Climate Thoughts” page: en.cop15.dk/climate+thoughts

“If we don’t deliver in Copenhagen, then I cannot see when again you can build up a similar pressure on all the governments of this world to deliver. So I think we should be very, very cautious not to miss the opportunity.”

Victoria Hurst is a proud resident of the Appalachian Mountains. She has recently graduated from Warren Wilson College with a B.A. in English: Creative Writing.

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.8.09 The Pulse

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New in Theaters Couples Retreat One of the unwritten rules of Hollywood is to release all the serious dramas in the fall months, which is why it is rather unusual to see a comedy show up when the temperatures are finally falling.

When that does happen, it’s usually a low-budget farce directed at college kids that is more farce than funny, or a formulaic “chick-flick” date movie that is forgotten almost as soon as the credit roll. Which is why it was a pleasant surprise to find that the Jon Favreau/Vince Vaughn collaboration Couples Retreat is a romantic comedy that is both funny and targeted to actual adults. Favreau stepped away from the Iron Man director chair long enough to write and star in a fun little film that looks at the type of romantic crises married couples can find themselves in emotionally when on vacation in paradise. Vince Vaughn plays the same character he’s played in his last dozen comedies, which is really starting to wear thin, but manages not to be overly annoying. And none other than Iron Man producer and former child star Peter Billingsley (A Christmas Story) takes a turn behind the camera with

a light touch and an appreciation for character as much as scenery. If you need a laugh on your next trip to the multiplex, you could do far worse than taking a retreat of your own.

Starring: Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Faizon Love, Jason Bateman, Kristen Bell Directors: Peter Billingsley Rating: PG-13

Also in Theaters Zombieland A ragtag group joins forces to survive against worldwide zombie mayhem, and must determine what’s worse: the zombies or each other.

Capitalism: A Love Story Documentary filmmaker Michael Moore takes aim at the corporate and political shenanigans behind the global economic crisis.

The Invention of Lying In an alternate reality where lying doesn’t exist, Ricky Gervais is a downon-his-luck loser who suddenly develops the ability to lie.

Whip It Ellen Page stars as a teenage beauty pageant reject who finally finds herself after joining a fierce female roller derby team.

Toy Story & Toy Story 2 Woody, Buzz Lightyear and the rest of the gang from Pixar’s toy chest return for their original

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adventures—this time in 3-D! Fame At the New York City High School of Performing Arts, a talented group of singers, dancers, actors and artists strive for the spotlight.

Pandorum Two men wake up on a spacecraft with no memory of who they are or where they’re going, and must uncover the ship’s deadly secrets.

Surrogates Bruce Willis must investigate a murder in a futuristic society where human interaction has been replaced by idealized robotic surrogates Coco Before Chanel Audrey Tautou stars as legendary couturier Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel, whose iconic imprint on fashion defined the modern woman.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs Based on a popular

children’s book, a scientist tries to solve world hunger only to see things go completely awry as food falls from the sky in abundance.

Love Happens Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart star in the story of a self-help author who meets the woman who might finally help him help himself.

Jennifer’s Body Megan Fox stars as a high school cheerleader who becomes possessed and begins killing the unsuspecting boys of her small town.

The Informant!

Matt Damon stars in the true story of Mark Whitacre, the highestranking corporate whistleblower in U.S. history.

The Burning Plain Charlize Theron’s encounter with a mysterious stranger launches her on a journey through space and time.

Film Feature

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

by Phillip Johnston

R

eality and fantasy, documentary and fiction are all a blur in this week’s Arts and Education Council Independent Film Series pick. Paper Heart is a very independent film made mostly by people under 25. A short and sweet little experiment in the dynamics of love, the film looks to be about as multilayered as love itself.

Paper Heart is the story of Charlyne Yi who, like many disappointed females inhabiting romantic comedies this past year, doesn’t believe in love. We encountered another version of her a few months ago in 500 Days of Summer, a film that also had its premiere and won awards at this year’s Sundance Film Festival.

But whereas Summer Finn in 500 Days remained content for a while without love in her life, Charlyne Yi feels as if she must go on a cross-country quest to understand the funny phenomenon.

And with that, she grabs a filmmaker friend named Nick and they head off on a massive documentary project in which they talk to ministers, divorce lawyers, happily (and unhappily) married couples, chemists, a group of kids on a playground, and more.

So determined is she to find an exact definition of love, Charlyne fails to notice that she is actually falling in love with one of her interviewees: Michael Cera (Arrested Development, Juno), a charming young man who has taken an interest in her.

Paper Heart moves back and forth between reality and fantasy many times—you’ll see the literal reason for the film’s title when you watch the film. Treading in the footsteps of When Harry Met Sally, that classic of all romantic comedies, the film mingles its original material with, in the words of Charlyne Yi, “real doc footage of real interview with real subjects.”

“Everybody had such incredible stories,” said one of the crew members. “We would go into someone’s home, take over their living room for a day and ask them these unbelievably personal questions…and they’d really get into it.”

Many of the narrative elements of Paper Heart are improvised within a story outline penned by Charlyne Yi herself, and this is where it gets confusing. Because the film is a pseudodocumentary, many of the actors play themselves inside the framework of Charlyne’s documentary— meaning the cast and crew are all evident in the movie.

“We knew that some people would be a little bit confused,” said the film’s director Nick Jasenovec, “but we also found that part of it sort of exciting and interesting—maybe [the audience will never] know what’s real and what isn’t.”

“Sometimes we didn’t tell the cameraman what we were going to do so that he’d actually be capturing it for the first time and even be caught off guard,” said Yi. “It wasn’t about how pretty the camera shots were, but about making it feel natural.”

“The documentary stuff is all real,” said Jake Johnson, who plays the film’s “director”, “and as Charlyne is going around the country interviewing people on love, we create a story where she potentially finds love and see how making a movie about love affects her relationship.”

In addition to playing themselves, much of the cast and crew knew each other and had close friendships before the film started. “It’s hard to fake any sort of chemistry,” said Jasenovec. “We were all friends and we had to ask each other to really take a chance on an idea that could’ve turned out to be a disaster.”

Whether it’s a disaster or masterpiece, Paper Heart has won the affections of film festivals and viewers all across the country. It comes down to the Bijou this weekend and might provide an answer to all your questions about love.

Maybe.

Paper Heart Directed by Nicholas Jasenovec Starring Charlyne Yi, Michael Cera, Jake M. Johnson Rated PG-13 Running time: 88 minutes

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.8.09 The Pulse

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The Mystical Dude's Horoscopes Libra (September 23 – October 22): Clandestine operations caused stress but helped let go of “old stuff”, so breathe a sigh of relief!

You’re shining again and back as the natural charmer and socialite that you’re perfect at (even though there’s still secretive stuff and agreements that need working through). Get involved in the artistic project that’s already started and has got big future implications, particularly of a love or romantic nature.

Take note how uneasy you can get thinking too deeply about the past, which inhibits the present and being in the now.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Your future plans are more real than ever now you’ve decided to get fully involved and committed, even though stress levels aren’t quite settled yet, as there are final agreements being drawn up in an environment that can still throw in a few surprises when least expected.

Your inventive and inspired notions to bring changes have paid off handsomely. But while all this public presentation and action to improve status is going on, you’re deeply looking within to harmonize and align with the opportunities for growth and development of your home life.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): There’s pressure at work to complete several tasks on time and to order, which isn’t easy when you have to be charming as well as diplomatic in a chugging system that needs radical change. You’ve got illuminating insights as to how you could be even better at what you do, even if that means a few more journeys than usual, and people close are encouraging you to stay optimistic. Don’t give an ultimatum or get too intense in what you say, as being continually flexible will bring the best results.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Work-related issues pile up for attention; everything’s got its time and place even though the way you think is more geared towards independence, freedom and liberation from the norm. However, your professional status puts you in the spotlight and you don’t have to stretch yourself too far to find yourself in an increasingly beneficial financial position that’s getting better all the time. A conversation with an authoritative figure sees you presenting yourself ruthlessly at the wrong moment… oops! You might want to overcompensate; instead, just accept it as an uncoordinated problem situation.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Much deliberation over resources and a problematic financial situation has created its fair share of open tension and divisiveness, and your thoughts shift towards learning new techniques to let go of old ways of doing things. After reviewing your general approach and self-presentation, you’re about ready to encapsulate your new belief and philosophy of life, and talking with harmonious people holds many benefits. This spiritual new beginning that holds greater implications that might not be understood by everyone but you know the right people who understand where you’re coming from.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): An outside observer might say there’s polarity, strife and conflict between you and a significant other and only the input of a good mediator would help. However, they don’t see that although appearances are looking difficult, simultaneously you’re getting to understand the commitment needed for partnership, cooperation and a conscious awareness of how the other side works while you still claim freedom. Talk of a financial issue sets up tension and possible clashes with a friend who holds material power and control; don’t let it make the future too unstable.

Aries (March 21 - April 19): You’re being tested for skills—and it’s tiresome!

However, what you’re learning helps you

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formulate a revised working plan. Pay attention to health if outside pressures test your mental capacity; holistically speaking the mind, body and spirit are one, so don’t let nervous tension manifest in unexpected ways. A relationship plays a more important role as the week develops. Finally, someone understands your hopes and dreams, but it takes effort on your part to make determined and deep changes in how you share your thoughts and harmonize with people.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): You’ve wanted to express that romantic streak creatively, but you’ve had to cope with several unexpected changes. Now certain people are asking for your time, space and reliability; it’s difficult to spread yourself so thin when there are more fun things to do! The answer’s in discipline and concentration, which is doing you wonders in the long run especially when you’re noticed for putting in extra hours, bringing good opportunities later. Watch your mouth with people you work with; keep beliefs to yourself even though you’re compelled to talk.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): You’ve had so much to wade through in terms of work and deep personal analysis, it’s not surprising if you’d like a rest. Look out for finding yourself in a conversation with an elder or wiser person as it proves very rewarding and gives you valuable insights that will reactivate your creative and fun side. Now you’ve got to work out how to get rewarded for your ingenious and inspired concepts. It’s good to always have a group of admirers—but how can you take that to the larger stage?

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Now you’ve recovered from conversations that backfired with people close to home, you see how keeping your thoughts organized, Carefully discriminating what you’re told is important for your wellbeing. However, deeper and more private opinions about a partner are challenging you; can you keep the peace while saying what’s on your mind? At the moment, you’ve got a remarkable streak of independence and self-assertiveness thanks to Mars’ influence.

It’s to your benefit to express fiery feelings with action oriented talk: Be open to new homebased plans.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): It might seem like a drag and hard work—but there are important contacts to chase up through e-mails and phone calls that could hold surprising rewards. The way your mind works at a local level piques the interest of a partner: They see you in a bigger, more objective picture and show you how to do things differently.

Take the initiative and be diplomatic and balanced about a powerful skill set you’re developing; it’s your mind that will change first before you can convince anyone else to follow suit.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22):.

Feeling tender about recent relationship tugof-wars? You were challenged to break with tradition and do something excitingly new that left thoughts muddled. The solution is to be naturally reserved and modest so you bring peace and harmony back to proceedings. Your mind is tested again with a creative ultimatum that’s allowing you to totally regenerate yourself, gradually, although there’s a financial issue in the balance that could make you feel uneasy. Enjoy simply thinking about how you’re valued and honored at work, and on the healthy lifestyle you’re developing.

Julian Venables is a British astrologer whose worldwide travels bought him to Chattanooga.

Email themysticaldude@gmail.com for a personal consultation. Visit www.mysticaldude.com to discover more about the local astrology group, classes and the free podcast on iTunes!

JONESIN’

By Matt Jones

“Chance Collisions”

–a random assortment, across and down.

Across 1 Super power all about transparency 11 Baby on a farm 15 “I’m stumped” 16 Aware of 17 Like a lot of European cathedral architecture in the 16th century 18 Abbr. after old generals’ names 19 Altar exchanges 20 Ear protection?

21 Hired goon 22 Network whose first broadcast was “Gone With the Wind” 23 Average scores 24 Packaging string 25 “...man ___ mouse?”

26 Wearing an underskirt 28 Honor stitched to some jackets 30 Board game with SLIDE spaces 31 Fortune 33 Lewis locale 36 Pict. in a book 38 Ineffectual sort 40 They’d say “like, gag me” in the 1980s

44 Title for Italian monks 45 That is, to Cicero 46 Joel of “Cabaret” 47 Class closer?

48 Honky ___ music 49 Actresses West and Whitman 50 Spoiled brat 51 Opposing opinion 52 Rarest of the main blood types in the U.S. 55 Made stuff up 56 Tool in forestry to measure slope, vertical angles and tree heights 57 1040 IDs 58 Source of a stream Down 1 Sugar alcohol in some chewing gums 2 They may direct traffic 3 Convert to a computer system, e.g.

4 Part of Y.S.L. 5 Be lazy 6 “___ to Extremes” (Billy Joel song) 7 Phrase of consequence 8 “Ow!” 9 Leaving out

10 Bottle top?

11 Indiana’s second largest city 12 Like some musical “wonders” 13 Bring into harmony 14 Stuck 23 In a sassy way 24 2008 Olympics swimmer Dara 26 Pac-Man dot 27 Creepy-___ 29 Supports at the end of planes 32 Like teddy bears and puppies 34 Like some wisdom?

35 Military planes provide it 37 Manatee’s order 39 Spring holidays 40 Blood pressure, heart rate, etc.

41 Aphrodite’s beloved 42 Of a period that ends in 39-down 43 Transfer an e-mail, perhaps 49 Speed ratio 50 “Leave in,” to a proofreader 53 Pai ___ (Chinese gambling game) 54 Dr.’s org.

©2009 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0434

Solution To Last Week’s Puzzle

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Spirits Within

No “Folie” to Sample These Napa Wines

By Joshua Hurley

I

f you enjoyed last week’s great buy, Caymus Conundrum, which was a superb blended white wine, perfect for the cooler, fall weather, then you’ll love this week’s pick: Four wines from Folie a Deux Winery called Ménage a Trois. Faithful readers know—but if you’re just now joining us—each week, Riley’s Wine and spirits on Hixson Pike chooses some favorites among our large selection of wine and spirits and shares them with our Pulse readers.

Folie a Deux Winery (FOH-lee ah doo, which is French for “shared lunacy” or “shared fantasy”), is located in the Napa Valley, just northeast of St. Helena, California. It was founded by Larry and Evie Dismang in 1981. The winery gained praise for its chardonnay wines, growing from 2,000 cases a year to 20,000 in three years. Today, chardonnay comprises of half the winery’s production, cabernet sauvignon about a quarter, with the rest being chenin blanc, moscato, merlot, syrah, and some gewürztraminer.

American oak delivering a creamy finish. Each of the three geographically different chardonnay grapes produce distinctive qualities: Fresh citrus aromas come from Monterey, lush tropical fruit flavors from Santa Barbara, and all-around great structure from Mendocino.

Folie’s Ménage a Trois 2008 Rose is an incredible blend of merlot, syrah and gewürztraminer. If you’re a fan of roses, such as white zinfandel or merlot, you’ll love this one. And if you’re not, then you will appreciate the skill with which it was crafted. The merlot and syrah grapeskins (peels) are cold soaked to give the wine its seductive pink color.

Gewürztraminer adds some exotic spice missing from plain rose, while the syrah rounds the spectrum with full ripe fruit.

This rose explodes with strawberry, raspberry and flowers, and has a smooth finish that’s not dry.

Folie’s Ménage a Trois White 2008 marries muscat, chardonnay and chenin blanc. Each varietal has been individually harvested, crushed and fermented cold into steel casks to preserve the fruity aromas of each grape. The chardonnay is rich and firm, the muscat is wild and exotic and the chenin blanc is soft and supportive— together they make another perfect trio. This wine is fruity, easy to drink, works well alone, with or without food.

The Folie Ménage a Trois Red blends zinfandel,

“‘Ménage a Trois’ means a blend of three different grapes to make one fantastic wine.”

Folie’s “Ménage a Trois” label has become some of the most popular wines at Riley’s and is available in four different blends: chardonnay, white, red, and rose.

Ménage a Trois 2007 Chardonnay is something different from the usual ho-hum lines and rows of boring chardonnay in that it’s a blend of three different types of chardonnay grapes. Fifty-six percent of the grapes come from Monterey County, 37 percent from Santa Barbara and 7 percent from Mendocino County. French yeast fermentation enhances the fruit flavors with aging in French and

merlot and cabernet sauvignon together after separate fermentation has added even more character to these already distinctive red grapes.

First you’ll taste the zin, with its rich blackberry and raspberry flower. Next comes merlot, with its red fruit and one-of-a kind smooth mouth feel, and last but not least, comes cabernet sauvignon with plum, plums and the expectant, gigantic tannic finish.

All four Ménage a Trois wines mentioned are available at Riley’s for $8.56 through November 25.

at Samford, Sat. Oct 10 @ 4 p.m.

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Table Service

Taste of NY Pizza in Hixson

By Tara Morris

W

ith ten years of working in the food and service industry, I have grown to have a distinct and ever-evolving respect for someone who can provide great service, food, and environment. Bi Ba’s Italian restaurant at 5918 Hixson Pike does just that.

From pizza, pasta, daily specials,and a plentiful variety of wine and beer, Biba provides the originality and consistency that residents of Big Ridge, Hixson, and Middle Valley are ready to share with the Scenic City.

Krist Biba, owner of Bi Ba’s Italian restaurant, is a prime example of a man who carries passion and involvement that takes a lifetime of experience to evolve. When you enter the open and comfortable Biba’s, there is a feeling of community, family and tradition.

In 1996, Krist made the move to Atlanta with the idea of starting Bi Ba’s Italian Restaurant. Seven months into his Hixson location, Krist is beginning to understand the laid-back appeal of our city.

“When you enter the open and comfortable Bi Ba’s, there is a feeling of community, family and tradition.”

Originality was the word of the day, and when I asked Krist about his own favorite dish, he smiled and informed me, “If you ask ten people what their favorite dish is, you’ll get ten different answers— that is the beauty of that.” Precisely: Bi Ba’s has a little something for everyone.

After hearing that Krist owned his own pizza joint in the Bronx, it was no surprise when

Chattanooga native Rebecca Raymond spoke up and expressed that Bi Ba’s put out the best pizza she has had in 65 years.

Specialty pizza classics such as Hawaiian and Meatlovers are a must—but items such as Italian Stuffed Pie, Bi Ba’s Stromboli and a Fisherman’s Pie, consisting of clams, mussels and shrimp, really struck me as different. What interested me even more while hanging out with Krist was his specialty pizza named “The Great White Pizza by Dan.” Naturally, I had to know of this great man named Dan, and I was absolutely tickled listening to Krist and watching his New Yorkstyle personality light up as he told me about one of his long-time regulars, Dan. Dan had a head full of white hair—and also seemed to love his pizza with ricotta and mozzarella cheeses, chicken, and fresh tomato. This Dan and I would absolutely get along at dinner, and more importantly, if that isn’t customer recognition, I don’t know what is.

Bi Ba’s has an eclectic assortment of pasta dishes, ranging from Rigatoni Putanesca, involving capers, olives, anchovies, fresh basil and garlic cooked with a spicy marinara, to Spaghetti alla Carbonara, a mix of bacon, onion, and egg in Parmesan cream sauce. If you are a lover of spicy dishes, then try the Fra Diavolo sauce, one of Krist’s original recipes. Seafood specialties, calzones, subs, and garlic rolls give us the taste of Italy that can please the entire family—and with nothing costing more than 20 dollars the possibilities are endless.

If it’s that glass of wine or cold beer you look forward to with your lasagna, then you can dip into the list of more than 20 wines, or even explore with a leader in premium Italian brews, Peroni, which has a zesty competitive taste that has been around since 1846. Bi Ba’s also brings us a sip of Atlanta with Red Brick Ale, a full-bodied malty brown brew and the first beer to come out of Atlanta Brewing Company in 1993. If beer and wine aren’t for you,

then enjoy a cup of espresso with Krist’s homemade tiramisu or made-to-order cannolis.

If you are in the area, don’t miss out on a local gem and if you are a bit further out in the Chattanooga area, go ahead and make the drive to Bi Ba’s Italian Restaurant on Hixson Pike. Find out what your favorite dish is and know that it will be a new and original experience of “Bronx Love” in the Chattanooga Valley.

Bi Ba’s Italian, 5918 Hixson Pike.

(423) 843-0001. www.bibasitalian.

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.8.09 The Pulse

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Music Feature

Superdrag Comes to Chattanooga

By Hellcat

I

t’s been a long time in the making, but finally JJ’s Bohemia and I have wrangled this fabulous foursome into a Scenic City show, October 17! The Tammys will be opening up for the band, which is kind of like a dream come true for front man Dustin Concannon, as Superdrag has been one of his favorite bands and biggest influences. Actually, Superdrag has come up quite often as a favorite in many of my interviews. It isn’t hard to understand why when you listen to them. I hate to come across as someone who gushes, but with this band, I’ll risk it. They rule. Simply put. They haven’t been in this market for a few years, but are back and ready to rock your faces off, with a new album, Industry Giants.

Check it out and see what all the fuss is about. And by fuss, I mean rock.

Hellcat: The last time I spoke to you guys was in March, right before the release of your new album. What all has happened since then?

John Davis: The record came out on March 17, then we left for SXSW the next say. We originally had six shows booked for the four days we were scheduled to be there, but we missed the first two because we had to sit on the runway in Nashville for four hours. Bummer. We got to see HR from Bad Brains, the Circle Jerks and Grant Hart from Husker Du the first night we were there. We were pretty stoked on that. Anyway, we went out and played D.C., Philly, New York, Brooklyn, Boston, Rock Island, Chicago and Charlotte, so far. Plus, we got to record another session at Daytrotter, which we really enjoyed doing. I’m a big fan of what they’ve got going on up there.

HC: How has the reception to the new album been?

JD: I’d say it’s been overwhelmingly positive. Overall, the press for this record is probably the best we’ve ever gotten.

HC: I can see why. The album is solid. Has it been what you expected?

Why or why not?

JD: I tried not to have too many set expectations going in, honestly. In a situation like this, you kind of already

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know that anything you do is going to be constantly compared to what you did 10 years before. In some people’s minds, we’d never top Head Trip In Every Key no matter what we came back with. I’m all right with that.

HC: What is your personal favorite song on the album and why?

JD: Probably “Everything’ll Be Made Right.” I think that might be my favorite guitar solo I’ve ever put down on a Superdrag track. It was cut on a 1956 Fender Stratocaster.

Frankly, playing that guitar made me feel proud to be an American. That’s a prime example of American ingenuity that changed the entire world and made it better, in my opinion. If you can’t pick that instrument up and feel moved to play your very best, you oughta just hang it up and go to the house.

HC: That’s actually my favorite song, as well. I dig the lyrics. Which song seems to get the most response live?

JD: “Aspartame”, probably.

HC: What do you see Superdrag doing in this upcoming year? And the next?

JD: We have plans to do a special Limited Edition release of Jokers With Tracers, the 20 Head Trip In Every Key demos we recorded up in Bearsville, NY in February of 1997.

That stuff has been pretty sought-after among the hardcore fans, but all the versions that circulated online, etc. were pretty poor quality. These will be re-mastered from the original masters, and we’re putting a lot of thought into the packaging and extras. There’s even been some talk of going out and playing the “Head Trip...” record top-

to-bottom at a handful of special gigs.

I guess we’ll see where it goes.

HC: Has keeping a clean lifestyle changed you or your music in any way? How so?

JD: It’s changed me in every way.

HC: How does having a family life and being a successful musician work out?

JD: You’ve got to maintain the proper balance between taking care of your family, spending time with your kids, and doing what the music requires. We established from the get-go that the new-school Superdrag thing was going to be strictly parttime. None of us have any interest in staying on the road indefinitely and missing our wives and kids.

So the gigs are pretty sporadic and infrequent, but it’s just the way it’s got to be.

HC: That’s admirable. Do you have any free advice for the aspiring musicians out there?

JD: The world doesn’t owe you anything, so do as much as you possibly can for yourself. If you deal with a label, never let them tell you how the music should be done, and never go against your instinct for the possibility of some short-term advantage. You have to live with that record for the rest of your life, so make it the way you want to make it.

Nobody knows more about how your music should sound than you do.

Superdrag with The Tammys $10 9 p.m.

Saturday, October 17 JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Music Calendar Friday

Thursday

The Lee Boys with The Distribution The Lee Boys are a familybased steel-jam band that has grooved with the likes of Bob Weir, Derek Trucks, Conan O’Brien and fun-loving festival kids nation-wide. $10 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Sent by Ravens 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge www.myspace.com/warehousetn de Dionsyo & the Shaking Rays 7 p.m. CreateHere Studio, 55 E. Main St. (423) 648-2195. www. creathere.org Night of the Wolf, Dynasty of Posiden, Lollipop Factory 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

Matt Carbone and Hill City Wildcats 8:30 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043.

Rick Rushing 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Mellow Down Easy 9 p.m. Angelo’s, 600 Stuart Rd. (423) 479-0522.

TelePath, The Agobi Project, Digital Butter Philadelphia, Ashville and Chattanooga fuse together to light up your face, show you how to move and inspire with their cultural beats. $13 10:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Saturday

Oh So Cavelier, Vinyl Relay 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019. www.clubfathom.com Booker Scruggs Ensemble 7:30 p.m. The Original Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538.

The WayBacks 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1322 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Moonlight Bride CD release with Fire Zuave and MiddleMen 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

Deon Taylor 8 p.m. Top of The Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. (423) 876-3356. topofthedock-chattanooga.com Rick Rushing 8:30 p.m. Champy’s, 526 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 752-9198.

Eulogy, a Tribute to TOOL 9 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977.

The Pool 9 p.m. The Tin Can, 618 Georgia Ave. (423) 648-4360. www.thetincanchattanooga.com Six to Never 9 p.m. Voodoo Bayou, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531. www.voodoobayou.com The Fuze, a Lynard Skynard Tribute Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Blue Eyed Grass 10 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

DJ Spicolli Raw Sushi Bar Restaurant & Nightclub, 409 Market Street, (423) 756-1919.

Sunday WurstBrats at Rock City Oktoberfest Noon. RockCity, 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531.

SoulGate, Reverence 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

Everybody Loves a Hero, Authority to Tread 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019.

David Allen Starr 8 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424- 3775. www.chattanooganhotel.com Will Kimbrough 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960.

Deon Taylor 9 p.m. Top of The Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. (423) 876-3356. topofthedock-chattanooga.com

Nathan Farrow 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Digital Butter, Axis 1, Flannel Boy, DJ Dust, DJ Gambit 9 p.m. Parkway Billiards, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 322-8325. www.parkwaybilliards.com Sam Thacker 10 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Matt Stephens Project with Soul Crush 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Hidden Spots LP release with Dos Tornados, 40 oz. Folklore 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Tuesday

Wednesday

Old Tyme Players 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com

The Duhks with Slim Pickens 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Ben Friberg Jazz Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com

Moonlight Bride CD Release with fire zuave and MiddleMen

DJ at the Palms 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Billy Hopkins & Friends 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com

Johnston-Brown 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Open Mic with Hellcat 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Uncle Billy and Friends 8 p.m. The Tin Can, 618 Georgia Ave. (423) 648-4360. www.thetincanchattanooga.com

Regional rockers fire zuave and Middlemen join us at JJ’s Bohemia on Friday night to bask in the glow and celebrate the release of local lovers Moonlight Bride’s first ever CD release entitled Myths. It is no myth how talented these guys are and it will be a night to remember.

Go Girls Music Showcase Don’t miss this opportunity to hang out with girls that ROCK. $8 7 p.m.

Midtown Music Hall, 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com

Monday

Fireside Lounge 4021 Hixson Pike, (423) 870-7078.

Lucky’s 2536 Cummings Highway, (423) 825-5145.

Scott Biram, Left Lane Loser 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Channing Wilson 8 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike, (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com

Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1966. www.tremonttavern.com

Jeremy Leslie 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Cutthroat Shamrock and Gypsy Nomads Gypsy Nomads are a “high octane and exciting” duo out of NY while TN’s own Cutthroat Shamrock mixes the energy of bluegrass and punk rock with a shot of Celtic love. $7 7 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Kyle Harris, Wendy Jans Noon. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com Laurentz Und Die Katven at Rock City Oktoberfest 1 p.m. RockCity, 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531. www.seerockcity.com Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966.

Rick Mayo 5 p.m. Champy’s, 526 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 752-9198.

Irish Music Sessions 6 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1966. www.tremonttavern.com Open Mic Gene’s Bar & Grill, 724 Ashland Terrace, (423) 870-0880.

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Friday, October 9 $7 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.8.09 The Pulse

33

Music Feature

Never the Same River Twice

By Stephanie Smith They tell you that life isn’t fair / Like it justifies things that they do / That’s not good enough for me / Is it good enough for you?

— “Good Enough” (Loaded, 2008)

T

he lyrics to “Good Enough”, The Waybacks’ fourth song on their new LP Loaded, seem to fit this band perfectly.

Often pigeonholed into the category of bluegrass, the four members of The Waybacks are all independently multi-talented musicians in their own right.

Bluegrass, while certainly an influential genre for the group, just simply isn’t enough to describe The Waybacks’ style.

For lack of a better name, they play in a genre of music known as Americana.

Singer-songwriter-fiddler Warren Hood is the newest member of the group. He explains that Americana “means a blend of American music styles. It’s when you don’t know what to call it [the music]. It’s mostly original music based out of idioms; for us that can be playing Chick Correa and Grateful Dead in the same set.”

And that’s what they do.

Depending on their performance venue, The Waybacks will pull any number of proverbial musical rabbits out of their hats. They have amassed a staggering arsenal of songs in their repertoire, ranging from Memphis soul, honky-tonk, and Parisian swing to classical music, bluegrass, and pop/ rock. Hood attributes part of the band’s sound to years of playing on festival circuits.

“The festivals are my favorite part of what we do,” Hood enthuses.

“They’re a chance to see new bands that turn you in a new direction. You see friends—you sit in on their set and they sit in on yours; a lot of players learn how to play in these campfire jams at festivals. I once found myself sitting in a hotel room jamming all night with Bella Fleck!”

After ten years of playing festival circuits, the band is enjoying the newfound freedom of launching their first album of entirely original material. Frontman James Nash and Hood penned the music and lyrics for the songs on Loaded.

“This band is the first full-time touring band I’ve been in where I’m also the front guy and writing,” says Hood. “I’ve also toured as a backup musician; I wasn’t under pressure to write and sing. It’s been a learning experience of how to conduct a show and having the constant pressure to have new material ready. I’m 26—the youngest by far—so I’m also watching the other guys to see how they deal with that.”

Loaded is a wealth of Americana.

Simple storytelling lyrics combined with fierce virtuoso instrumentals in a variety of styles make it possible for any listener to find a song they like. Apparently, this kind of rule-breaking is what these musicians strive for.

“With iTunes and the Internet, lots more people are listening to a lot of different music. It’s almost expected that you can play every genre if you want to make a living out of it,” explains Hood.

“From music that is appropriate for an Irish pub to the Grand Ole Opry to an outdoor folk festival to a late-night membersonly jazz club, The Waybacks change their lineup to suit the crowd.”

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The Pulse 10.8.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com 95.3 Pulse News

The Waybacks are making a living out of their music, and, though it may not be what some would call success, they feel they are on the right track.

“Bands go on different circuits,” Hood says. “There are people who are going platinum, who have to go all-or-nothing to make that kind of success. We know we’re not going platinum, but we’re in the position to have complete artistic freedom to do what we want enough to sustain our lifestyles.

“The ultimate goal is to be happy, right? Find what it is that makes you happy, do that a lot and you are successful.”

The Waybacks measure their success with the enthusiasm of each audience. What is the one predictable element in a live show?

“Unpredictability,” Hood insists.

From music that is appropriate for an Irish pub to the Grand Ole Opry to an outdoor folk festival to a latenight members-only jazz club, The Waybacks change their lineup to suit the crowd, guaranteeing that a good time will be had by all.

“We play in venues from bars to theatres and backyards and everything in between,” says Hood. “A lot of time and thought goes into order of songs we play—dictating when the audience is going to cry, to laugh, to dance—and then we try to save something for the end.” Hood laughs.

“It’s a party and we’re controlling the party. Good times will be had. Come to a show and find out!”

That’s good enough for me.

The Waybacks $15 8 p.m.

Friday, October 9 Barking Legs, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.8.09 The Pulse

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Forest Of Fears: Beware the Voodoo Bayou When looking at a successful local business, one can usually come to the conclusion that they got three of the three most useful tips in real estate correct: location, location, location. This applies to all business models, even ones marketed at scaring their customers. So naturally, after driving miles through Chattanooga’s dark abyss (known as Saint Elmo) while slowly losing the ability to hear the John Meyer blasting in your car due to the sound of your own heartbeat pounding throughout your entire body, you come to the conclusion that the empowered dark surrounding you can only be achieved outside the skirts of Chattanooga.

Forest of Fears is located at the bottom of Lookout Mountain, just past the beefy part of Saint Elmo. Such dark and disturbing settings are luckily within our grasp, being on the border of town. This frightening site can easily be described as the most unique haunted experience you will set foot in this October. Armed with a pair of 3-D glasses and a prayer, the only other thing protecting you from the grotesque horror is your imagination, attempting to make light of the terror.

Objects appear and disappear right before your eyes, the ground shifts before you, and optical illusions tantalize the mind as you walk through this lengthy fright. A personal favorite was a section of the forest, which was illuminated, with a fantastic figment of the imagination. The fog was heavy and a vibrant light was projected for hundreds of feet, giving the impression of a three-dimensional tunnel. Creatures from beyond the grave were plentiful too, lurking behind trees and in swamp muck; one was never too far out of arm’s reach. With fun for the children, live music, kettle corn, a huge bonfire, and various other activities, Forest of Fears is a hot spot this year for the entire family. —Josh Lang Haunted Houses Lodge of Fear $10 (coupon on website) October 16,17, 24, 24, 30, 31.

8 p.m. – Midnight The Ridgedale Lodge, Dodds Ave. Chattanooga, Tennessee www.lodgeoffear.synthasite.com Ruby Falls Haunted Cavern $22 at the door ($20 online) Thursdays to Saturdays (excluding 1 & 8) including 18, 25, 28 8 p.m. – 11 p.m.

1720 South Scenic Highway Chattanooga, Tennessee www.hauntedcavern.com House of Horrors $9 Fridays and Saturdays, additionally 18, 25, and 29.

7 p.m. – Midnight (10 p.m. on Sundays) 140 Edwards Street, Cleveland, Tennessee www.wewillscareyou.com

Forest of Fear – Voodoo Bayou $15 Fridays and Saturdays 7 p.m. – late 271 Chattanooga Valley Road Flintstone, Georgia www.thevoodoobayou.com Haunted Hilltop $15 Fridays and Saturdays 7 p.m. – 1 a.m.

8235 Highway 58, Harrison, Tennessee www.thehauntedhilltop.com Haunted Barn $15 (coupon on website) Fridays and Saturdays 7 p.m. – Midnight 5107 McDonald Road Mcdonald, Tennessee thehauntedbarnchattanooga.com Haunted CarnEvil : Revenge of the Vampires $20 (includes mini golf and other treats) Fridays and Saturdays, plus the 25, 28, and 29.

7 p.m. – late 5918 Brainerd Road, Chattanooga sirgoonys.com/HCsite/index11.htm The Chopping Maul $10 per head ($2 Discounts on Wednesday) October 1 - November 1 Wednesdays to Saturdays 7 p.m. – Midnight Bradley Square Mall Cleveland, Tennessee www.terrortainment.com Haunted House on Broad Street $20 Every Thursday to Sunday 7 p.m. – Midnight 2201 Broad Street Chattanooga, Tennessee hauntedhouseonbroadstreet.com Clown Town $15 Thursdays to Sundays, plus the 26, 27, and 28.

8 p.m. – late Eastgate Town Center Chattanooga, Tennessee www.darksidewrestling.net Enchanted Maize $9 Adults, $7 Kids Thursdays to Sundays Thur: 9 a.m. – 6:30 p.m.

Fri: 9 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Sat: 10:30 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Sun: Noon – 6:30 p.m.

271 Chattanooga Valley Road, Flintstone, Georgia www.enchantedmaze.com Halloween Events Hamilton Place Mall Free Mall Trick or Treating 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd Chattanooga, Tennessee October 31 at 6 p.m. www.hamiltonplace.com Bradley Square Mall Free Mall Trick or Treating 200 Paul Huff Parkway NW Cleveland, Tennessee October 31 at 6 p.m. www.shopbradleysquare.com Northgate Mall Free Mall Trick or Treating 271 Northgate Mall Chattanooga, Tennessee October 31 at 6 p.m. www.visitnorthgatemall.com Spooky Days at Creative Discovery Museum Stories, Cider, and Pumpkin Carving 321 Chesnut Street Chattanooga, Tennessee Every Saturday in October at 3 p.m.

Price: $9.95 www.cdmfun.org

Halloween Parties BoneYard Boogie Loose Cannon/Contrapasso 1400 Rossville Ave. October 30 at 8 p.m.

Over 15 live acts Costume contests 18 and up $20 in advance, $25 at door 80’s Prom Clue Mystery Party Creative Discovery Museum October 24 at 7 p.m. $50 Monster Bash October 16 and October 17 Free to CDM members, $5 for member guests Buffet $6.95 adults, $4.95 kids RSVP by October 9 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. www.cdmfun.org (423) 756-2738 Midnight Mayhem on the River Southern Belle riverboat October 30 at 10:30 p.m.

Proceeds go to Ronald McDonald House $10 plus tax and gratuity Zombies Loose Cannon 1400 Rossville Ave October 16 at 8 p.m.

Local DJ’s Trunk Or Treat Jones Memorial Church 4131 Ringgold Road Chattanooga, Tennessee October 28 from 6:30 p.m. – 8 p.m.

Trinity Lutheran Church 5001 Hixson Pike Hixson, Tennessee October 30 from 5:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Valley Baptist 90 Nick A Jack Lane Flintstone, Georgia October 25 from 5 p.m. – 7 p.m.

St. Luke United Methodist 3210 Social Circle Chattanooga, Tennessee October 25 from 5 p.m. – 7 p.m.

St. Mark United Methodist 701 Mississippi Avenue Chattanooga, Tennessee October 31 from 5 p.m. – 7 p.m.

Ooltewah United Methodist Church 6131 Relocation Way Ooltewah, Tennesse October 25 from 3 p.m. – 5 p.m.

To add your Halloween event, email the information to info@chattanoogapulse

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.8.09 The Pulse

37

Ask A Mexican

Special Wedding Edition

By Gusatvo Arellano Dear Readers, Since the Mexican’s sister is getting married to a good man from Zacatecas this weekend, I must ignore my research archives to slaughter a pig and hire a banda sinaloense. So indulge yourselves in some piratería questions I ripped off from my book, and await my return next semana!

Dear Mexican, Isn’t brown pride a P.C. adoption and morphing of white power?

— Serapes Scare Me Dear Gabacho, True, Serapes. And that’s why events like Hispanic Heritage Month are lame responses to centuries of gabacho oppression and exclusion.

Hispanic Heritage Month is useful only to see how hilariously clueless gabacho administrators, newspaper editors—hell, the entire American power structure—still are about Mexicans. Bake some pan dulce, throw in a salsa band, invite the Mexican as a keynote speaker (note to said power structure: email me!), and that’s culture, right? Or run weepy profiles of Mexicans rising from nothing to barely something, as daily papers do during Hispanic Heritage Month, and that pleases those pesky Latinos who clamor for positive, accurate coverage in the press, ¿qué no?

What’s worse is the litany of accomplishments recounted during Hispanic Heritage Month to show that Latinos are just like everyone else, but more so. Look—a Mexican astronaut! Golfer! Doctor! No gardeners here! And don’t be

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surprised if you hear some MEChA chapter state some really out-there claim, like that Thomas Alva Edison was Mexican, that the Aztec empire went as far north as Michigan because the state name sounds like Michoacán, and that Mexican women take it up the butt to protect their virginity. All those cultural-pride pendejadas get tiresome after a while because it’s nothing more than pandering and assumptions. Ask Mexicans what they’re proud of, and they’ll probably point to their shiny new Silverado.

Dear Mexican, I’ve noticed that areas with lots of recent Mexican immigrants have stores that sell nothing but water. I find this very odd. Do people recently arrived from Mexico not know that tap water here is potable? How can these stores survive selling nothing but water anyway?

— Agua Pa’ la Raza Dear Gabacha, Mexicans can never get far from the bottle, whether it’s H2O or Herradura. In a 2002 survey, the Public Policy Institute of California found that 55 percent of Latinos in the state drink bottled water, compared with 30 percent of gabachos. It’s definitely a custom smuggled over from Mexico, where tap water remains fraught with nasty viruses and bugs and crap. So it seems the Mexican affinity for Arrowhead is another case of assimilation gone dead, huh?

But another possibility is suggested

by Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

In the 1964 Stanley Kubrick classic, Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper

The Pulse 10.8.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com 95.3 Pulse News

reveals that fluoride-contaminated tap water is a commie plot that’s robbing America of its precious bodily fluids.

Mexicans want no part of that. We want our mecos healthy and hopping, so when it comes time to repopulate the States after the bomb hits, we can turn all surviving gabachitas into baby mills.

Dear Mexican, My friend and I were wondering why Mexican girls are so beautiful when they are teenagers, then over the years, they become fat, old bags?

— Costa Mesa Bag Man Dear Gabacho, Get your facts straight. Women raised in Mexico who migrate here maintain their beauty forever—check out pictures of silent-film goddess Dolores del Rio, who gave men palos even into her 80s. Their hijas, on the other hand, are the ones who blow up into blimps. The difference? A Mexican mom’s 18-hour workday— the mopping and kid-rearing for other families and hers, the factory-working, and the husband’s lunch preparing— keeps the flab off; any thickness is muscle earned from repetitive work that would crumble a weightlifter.

The daughters, meanwhile, are as American as you, gabacho: they’re spoiled, fat asses who party hard, overeat and don’t do quehaceres (chores) after coming home from a day at the office or Chicano Studies class because they have a Mexican to do it—their mami.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, myspace.com/ocwab, find him on Facebook, Twitter, or write via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433.

“Hispanic Heritage Month is useful only to see how hilariously clueless gabacho administrators, newspaper editors—hell, the entire American power structure— still are about Mexicans.”