The Pulse - Vol. 6, Issue 42 by Brewer Media Group

CHORAL ARTS • METRO GOVERNMENT • ZOMBIES

SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT

Past, Present and Future By Janis Hashe

News, Views, Arts & Entertainment • October 15-21, 2009 • Volume 6, Issue 42 • www.chattanoogapulse.com • pulse news 95.3 WPLZ

CONTENTS T H E P U L S E • C H AT TA N O O G A , T E N N E S S E E • O C T O B E R 1 5 , 2 0 0 9 • V O L U M E 6 , I S S U E 4 2

cover story

page 11

NEWS & VIEWS 6 BEYOND THE HEADLINES 8 SHRINK RAP 14 LIFE IN THE NOOG

25 ON THE BEAT 27 SHADES OF GREEN 38 ASK A MEXICAN

ARTS & FEATURES 16 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT By Janis Hashe One of Chattanooga’s most-respected arts organizations is having a milestone birthday this year. In 1985, Dr. John Hamm created Choral Arts of Chattanooga. “I knew J. Oscar Miller, the prominent music teacher,” explains Dr. Hamm, “who was bringing world-class singers into the city.”

23 TABLE SERVICE By Colleen Wade Just a little over a week ago marked the first anniversary of a restaurant in a local hotel. I am hesitant to use that terminology…hotel restaurant evokes images of Howard Johnson’s and Denny’s. ELEVEN is anything but.

29 FILM FEATURE

By Damien Power In a world where directors (and directors of photography) are honored for horrible shaky-cam “grittiness”, a movie with such beautiful filmmaking as Zombieland will be cast aside every time. Director Ruben Fleischer deserves an Oscar—and you can quote me on that.

30 MUSICAL FEATURE

By Hellcat So far, Chattanooga has had a pretty exciting month of music, with Moonlight Bride releasing their new album, and Superdrag coming to rock our faces off this weekend at JJ’s Bohemia. However, I implore you not to spend all of your rock and roll energy this weekend, as we have a pretty sweet line-up coming in Wednesday.

Cover design by Kelly Lockhart

SUMMING UP SUSTAINABILITY By Janis Hashe Since March, The Pulse has been running a series of cover stories on “sustainability,” inspired by the group of architects, planners and others brought to town by an SDAT (Sustainable Design Assessment Team) grant. The topic has become nothing if not hot. Annexation, the possibility of metro government, consolidation of services and what that implies for the future: all are ideas aimed at planning for growth in both Chattanooga and the areas surrounding it.

4 4 5 5 7 7

EDITOON LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PULSE BEATS CITY COUNCILSCOPE THE LIST POLICE BLOTTER

17 34 34 35 31 36

A&E CALENDAR FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN’ CROSSWORD SPIRITS WITHIN MUSIC CALENDAR HALLOWEEN EVENTS

The entire contents of this publication are copyrighted and property of Brewer Media Group. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publishers. The Pulse utilizes freelance writers and the views expressed within this publication are not necessarily the views of the publishers or editors. The Pulse takes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, artwork or other materials.

Editoon

by Rick Baldwin

Letters to the Editor Chatt. State years ago you had local DJs and bands who had some sound like this and got played, now they are just taking it to bigger venues and the live scene is finally caught up with the listening scene… It’s all in good fun to let loose for an evening I am sure. Chattanooga Tazz

I’m just glad the dance party scene has finally come to Chattanooga [“Hyping the Chattanooga Dance Scene”]. The relaxed and energetic atmosphere of Bangers Ball is way better than typical clubs. Ben Goodaker This is good for the younger folks of Chattanooga, but you have to admit one Chattanooga is a somewhat [of a] college town, or city and two this underground movement has been around for awhile and just finally getting the attention I figured it would get [“Hyping the Chattanooga Dance Scene”]. When I was a radio DJ at

What a little hypocrite [“Cheerleaders, Christianity and the Buckle of the Bible Belt”]. Donna Jackson “I did not call the superintendent and complain that the LFO cheerleaders’ signs violated federal law by promoting religion at a school function,” she clarified. “The call to the superintendent was in hope of heading off the type of community division that hasty actions have now caused.” Jackson even acknowledges that the way she approached him “expressed concern that the practice could land the school district in legal trouble.” That appears as a not to subtle veiled threat to sue. For her to complain about the public expressing their displeasure with her actions is like the bear complaining about the bees when he steals their honey. Brad Handley Wow! “The call to the superintendent was in hope of heading off the type of community division that hasty actions have now caused.” [“Cheerleaders, Christianity and the Buckle of the Bible

Belt”] It is really simple – let sleeping dogs lie, but have a plan ready in case it comes up. Jackson may have been right in warning the superintendent about the possibility of a lawsuit, but did she really have to tell the superintendent how to do her job? As for Reese, all she did was cause the controversy to begin. A total over-reaction to a situation that was not there. Talk about turning a mole hill into a mountain! Tyler Mereness What factual basis does anyone have that favors a consolidated government or annexation? I believe this is just a strategical move by Littlefield and his cronies to distract and confuse from their annexation efforts that are meeting organized opposition. The annexation opposition presents organized and well-thought out positions that the City cannot counter so they use a smoke and mirrors, divide and conquer and confusion to respond. It’s shameful that the Mayor and city Council won’t just be honest with us all and tell us why annexation/consolidation is so important to them. I can respect someone with a different viewpoint and arguments as long as they are honest and not contrived and/or used to cover ulterior motives. And I’m struggling to respect any of the City’s current elected body. Billy Stewart

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week: “With this annexation going on, people would rather see a metro government than have what we are doing now.”

A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

— City Council Vice Chairman Manny Rico, in response to Chattanooga Mayor Littlefield’s call for metro government.

Ready For Metro Government? By Gary Poole After hinting for several months in speeches and public meetings, Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield spoke before the city council last week and called upon city and Hamilton County officials to sit down and seriously discuss the possibility of creating a consolidated metro government. While the announcement wasn’t entirely unexpected, the timing was intriguing, coming as it did in the middle of a very contentious round of city annexations. “The current form of government inevitably breaks down on issues such as annexation,” Littlefield said. “I don’t really know why, because even though we have agreed to agree, when we act on those agreements disagreement emerges. I would like to see us get beyond that.” And in an obvious step towards enticing the county to the negotiating table, Littlefield asked the city council to suspend the second phase of annexation, specifically the residential areas of Stonewall Farms, Hurricane Creek and Windstone, asking council members to take a “deep breath” before moving forward. What he proposed was that the city and county form a charter commission, using the guidelines set down by the state covering such bodies. The commission Littlefield would like to see is one in which the county mayor would appoint ten members, subject to confirmation by the county commission, while the city mayor would appoint five members, subject to confirmation by the city council. In response to the request to make a serious study of the consolidating the two governments, County Mayor Claude Ramsey held a press conference a day after Littlefield’s bombshell, saying that he’s informally polled the members of the county commission. They told Ramsey they are willing to work with the city on consolidating redundant services for efficiency but did not support a full consolidation. Even so, Ramsey did leave open the possibility of metro government. “What we’re talking is efficiency, what we’re talking about is providing good services at a more economical cost,” Ramsey said. “If we can do that, you can call it whatever you want.” County Commissioner Warren Mackey also appears open to the idea of combining services. “We are looking for efficiencies of scale,” he said. “If you can combine services and cut costs, I’m all for it.” There are obvious advantages to consolidation, such as eliminating duplica-

Here are several of the interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the October 20 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council. 6. Ordinances – First Reading:

tion of services in departments as varied as Public Works and Parks & Recreation, and the more obvious ones involving law enforcement and fire protection. The recent consolidation of the 911 center has been pointed out as a positive example of merging services. On the flip side, though, no one is using the merger of the city and county school systems over a decade ago as a positive example. Instead, it is serving as a rallying point for those who opposed metro government. And while the early reaction seems positive, there are still many obstacles, some which appear nearly insurmountable, which would have to be dealt with before any consolidation plan gets in front of voters. The most obvious obstacles are the other incorporated municipalities in Hamilton County. While Littlefield feels that the other cities would eventually join with a metro

government, it seems a bit far-fetched that Collegedale, East Ridge, Lakesite, Lookout Mountain, Red Bank, Signal Mountain, Soddy-Daisy and Walden will willingly give up their sovereignty and be absorbed into a Chattanooga-dominated metro government. Littlefield acknowledges that it would take a lot of work and a lot of time, possibly years, before any form of metro government would come together, but feels that the time is right to work on the possibility. He says he wants to have something before the voters before he leaves office in three years. Whether that will happen remains to be seen, but it is still very early in the process, and if one thing has proven out over the five years that Ron Littlefield has been mayor, it’s the fact that he doesn’t shy away from thinking big. And what would be bigger than a single county-wide government?

The Next Arthur Miller? Have you been secretly working on a play for years, dreaming of seeing it on the big stage? Well, haul that puppy out, because it’s time for the 6th Biennial Festival of New Plays. Any playwright living in Tennessee or who lives within a 100-mile radius of Chattanooga outside Tennessee is eligible. Only original scripts are considered for the festival, and up to four will be selected for production March 26 – April 10, 2010 in the Chattanooga Theatre Centre’s Circle Theatre. One script will receive a fully staged production, and the playwright will be awarded $1,000. The three others will be staged as readings and playwrights will each receive $250. Playwrights should submit scripts and cover letters, along with a submission fee of $25 per script, to Festival of New Plays, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, P.O. Box 4023, 400 River St., Chattanooga, TN 37405. Scripts must be postmarked no later than November 13. For more information about script submission, visit www.theatrecentre.com.

b) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to annex certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga known as area 3A, being certain parcels adjacent to Interstate 24 and the Tennessee River within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chattanooga, in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map. c) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to annex certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga known as area 4B, being certain parcels adjacent to streets including, but not limited to Stonington, Gold Crest, Dahl Springs, Hixson Pike, Houser Ridge, Ely Ford, Bullock, Manassas Gap, Dove Field, Jackson Mill, Rapidan River, Orange Plank, Bayonet, Brigade, Musket, Clearwater, Cotter, within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chattanooga, in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map.

You might be thinking, “Hey, wait a minute, I thought annexation was over with?” Well, not so fast…because at least at press time there were still two more parcels to be voted upon and approved by the city council. However, considering that Mayor Littlefield has asked for a “suspension” on annexation while he tries to get the county to the negotiating table to discuss metro government, these two ordinances might be tabled. Then again, with this current council, one is never quite sure how they are going to vote. The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agendas, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_ Council/110_Agenda.asp

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Beyond The Headlines

The

Homeplace and Kingston Coal Publisher Zachary Cooper zcooper@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Editor Janis Hashe jhashe@chattanoogapulse.com News Editor Gary Poole gpoole@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Editor Kathryn Dunn calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising Sales Rick Leavell rleavell@chattanoogapulse.com Leif Sawyer leif@brewermediagroup.com Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder Hellcat Joshua Hurley Victoria Hurst Phillip Johnston Matt Jones Josh Lang Tara Morris Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Alex Teach Colleen Wade Joe Wilferth Editorial Intern Tara Morris Art Director Kelly Lockhart Art Department Sharon Chambers Kathryn Dunn Damien Power Staff Photographer Damien Power Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Contact Info: Phone (423) 648-7857 Fax (423) 648-7860 E-mail info@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising advertising@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

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1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 phone (423) 648-7857 fax (423) 648-7860 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 500 words in length. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

Member

By Joe Wilferth

artin Niemöller (18921984), German Protestant theologian and pastor, outspoken critic of Nazism, prisoner and survivor of Dachau and Sachsenhausen concentration camps, is perhaps most popular among social activists today because of a poem. Niemöller’s “First they came for the Jews” seems to have originated in a series of speeches that he gave just after World War II. It is brief but powerful as it contains an important lesson: First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew. Then they came for the Communists and I did not speak out because I was not a Communist. Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for me and there was no one left to speak out for me. I was reminded of Niemöller’s poem as I recently read and discussed with my students a short essay by Scott Russell Sanders. Sanders’ writing has always revolved around place and the importance of place, i.e., home, in our individual and community-based lives. In his essay, “Homeplace,” Sanders describes two types of people with whom he’s become familiar over time. There are, he notes, people who invest in ideas and people who invest in places. For Sanders, there is no community (as concept) without the physical—i.e., the land and its landscape. But Sanders compares what is happening to and within his community, as well as in our own, to a holocaust. After describing the sound of earth movers and chainsaws at work on an adjacent farm in southern Indiana, to make way for new shopping strip, he writes, “[W]e are living in the midst of a holocaust. I do not use the word lightly. The Earth is being pillaged, and every one of us, willingly or grudgingly, is taking part. We ask how sensible, educated, supposedly moral people could have tolerated slavery or the slaughter of Jews. Similar questions will be

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asked about us by our descendants, to whom we bequeath an impoverished planet. They will demand to know how we could have been party to such waste and ruin.” I asked the students: What holocausts are happening right now, in our time, that you may be asked about in the future? How will you respond? As someone who reacted and did the work necessary to stop it? Or will you say that you simply didn’t see it? Or worse, that you didn’t speak out or take action? My students quickly brought up Rwanda, Darfur, and genocide. They spontaneously offered up global warming, oil consumption, and they speculated on an age when future generations will ask with astonishment: “You had gas stations? You pumped gas into a tank to run the engine? You added ‘motor oil’ to lube an internal combustion engine?” In the span of one to two minutes, the students exhausted the possibilities of those things which may be called by the name “holocaust of our time” years, decades, or centuries from now. We all sat—quietly—looking at one another. Then someone added, “But our government or scientists are working on those things. They’re being addressed.” I returned to Sanders’ conclusion, the obvious point at which to end our discussion, and we packed our books for the end of class.On my way home, I heard a 30-second radio report, a follow-up on the Kingston coal-ash spill just up the road, rather just up the river, in Harriman, Tennessee. On December 22, 2008, 5.4 million cubic yards of coal-ash sludge broke through a dam at TVA’s Kingston coal plant. At 1 a.m. the retention pond that contained the sludge ruptured, and the subsequent deluge of material included, according to EPA estimates for one year’s worth of coal waste: lead in the amount of 49,000 lbs., arsenic in the amount of 45,000 lbs., barium (1.4 million lbs.), chromium (91,000 lbs.), manganese (140,000 lbs.), as well as undetermined amounts of cadmium and mercury. It covered more than 300 acres of land, destroyed homes and crop soil along the way, and spilled into the Emory and Clinch rivers. The Emory River in a few short miles from Harriman spills into the Tennessee River, which comes right through the heart of Chattanooga. Between the closing week of 2008 and the opening weeks of 2009, TVA

“I asked the students: What holocausts are happening right now, in our time, that you may be asked about in the future?” contained the story but not the mess. The residents of Harriman found themselves then, and find themselves today still, in a concentrated and contained work area as removal efforts are now underway. The coal ash is at present being taken by the trainload to the Arrowhead Landfill in Perry County, Alabama, the poorest county in the state, but a place nonetheless willing to take TVA’s problem off its hands. The short-term environmental impact of the Kingston coal plant spill is clear. However, the long-term impact will unfold here in Tennessee and now in Alabama just as it has unfolded for years, thanks to abuses of our waterways that include contaminated runoff water that contains street-level, residential, and industrial pollutants, pesticides and fertilizers that leach through the soil and into ground water, pharmaceutical waste, faulty sanitation lines that leak raw sewage and E. coli into our creeks, and more. What I fear is that something like a revision of Niemöller’s “First they came for the Jews” will become a reality and I’ll have some explaining to do. First they said, “Do not play in the Emory.” And I did not speak out because I did not live on the Emory. Then they said, “Do not play in the Clinch.” And I did not speak out because I did not live on the Clinch. Then they said, “Do not play in the Hiwassee.” And I did not speak out because I did not live exactly on the Hiwassee. Then they said, “Do not play in Shoal Creek.” So I stood on its bank with my sons and tried to explain that I had not spoken out for any of us.

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• It’s an old truism that many people resort to a life of crime because they are just not smart enough to succeed on their own merits. That lack of intelligence is also what makes it a lot easier for investigators to solve crimes, as many criminals don’t do a very good job of covering their tracks…or even hiding the evidence of their crime. A recent armed robbery in which a young man held up a group of people in their house and then fled to a waiting getaway car was solved when the mother of the getaway driver found a stolen wallet left in the car. She dragged her son down to the police station— along with the wallet—and forced him to explain where the wallet came from. The end result was two arrests, and one very embarrassed young man. • One of the more popular items stolen from vehicles are dash-mounted GPS systems. That is one reason why police urge those with GPS’s to never leave them in an unattended vehicle. Yet many still do, especially those that drive professionally, such as taxi drivers. Sometimes, though, it becomes a bit easier for officers to locate a “smash-and-grab” suspect when the criminal doesn’t consider his choice

of attire: like the young man who was spotted breaking into a cab wearing a black sweatsuit emblazoned with a large gold dragon. Once again, not thinking things through makes it much easier for law enforcement. • Continuing with our theme these week of stupid criminals, we present the tale of an armed robber who apparently has never seen an episode of C.S.I. Not 15 minutes after a man held up a Brainerd Road sandwich shop, he used one of the cell phones he had stolen from patrons to make a call to a woman. To make matters even simpler for investigators, it turns out the suspect had been involved in a hit and run shortly before the robbery. The restaurant manager had noticed damage to his vehicle, which led to the accident victim making a positive identification of the suspect. When police then checked the cell phones, they were able to locate the woman called, who was able to confirm the armed robber had called her using the stolen phone. • People get into disputes all the time. It’s an unfortunate fact of life. There are literally dozens of police reports every week involving verbal altercations between people. Yet it is a bit rarer to see a report where someone has been accused of making threats against a dog. A

Chattanooga Street Scenes

Top 10 Classic Film Quotes 1. “Bond. James Bond.” — Dr. No 2. “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” — Casablanca 3. “Well, it’s not the men in your life that counts, it’s the life in your men.” — I’m No Angel

woman who lives on South Moss Avenue called police claiming that her neighbor had been doing just that, and had escalated the situation by committing a drive-by. Not a drive-by shooting, but a drive-by throwing of dog food. One does have to wonder how this would intimidate the woman, especially since the dog in question most likely enjoyed the free snack.

4. “I’ll be back.” — The Terminator 5. “Would you be shocked if I put on something more comfortable?” — Hell’s Angels 6. “My Mama always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.’” — Forrest Gump

Photography by Damien Power

Chattanooga Underground (Off 6th Street)

7. “I could dance with you till the cows come home... On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows when you came home.” — Duck Soup 8. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!” — Gone With The Wind 9. “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Well, who the hell else are you talkin’ to?” — Taxi Driver 10. “Waitress...I’ll have what she’s having.” — When Harry Met Sally After spending a weekend on an AMC and TMC kick, The List has been inundated with classic movie lines. Bonus quote: “Put the bunny back in the box.” — Con Air.

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Shrink Rap

Revisiting the “Shoulds” By Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D www.DrRPH.com

Dear Dr. Rick, I seem to have a very strong inner critic. I’ve always had trouble making decisions, but I’m very aware now that this inner voice is what keeps me from knowing what I think or how I feel about a situation, person, or event. I catch myself thinking, “You don’t mean that,” or, “You shouldn’t feel that way.” In the past you’ve written about not “shoulding” on ourselves. How do I stop doing this to myself? — Craig, Chattanooga Craig, I’m happy to revisit the “shoulding on yourself” topic. It’s one of those human tendencies that if we don’t stay aware of, we can easily fall back into old patterns. Shoulding on yourself is a good example of why we need to stay vigilant and mindful with our thoughts, as we work on becoming more of who we want to be. Remember back to when you were a child, and you will undoubtedly remember at least one relative or other adult in your young life making comments like, “Oh, honey, you shouldn’t feel that way.” Or, “Why are you sad? You should be happy about that.” Or, “Dry your tears…big boys don’t cry.” You were should upon. The reasons for these grownups attempting to guide our young feelings were varied, although likely well-intentioned: Perhaps they didn’t want us to be sad. Or maybe they were uncomfortable with feelings such as anger or sorrow, and

didn’t want to see those feelings in us. Or they were trying to teach us about “good” (allowable) feelings, and “bad” feelings. But which were which? And under what circumstances? Whatever the motivation for the editing, the result is a child who learns to not trust his/her feelings and thoughts, nor trust the expression of feelings from others. Such lessons become ingrained— internalized—and influence us throughout life, until we learn to interrupt this pattern. Until we do, we are leery of relationships, distrustful of how we experience the world, and whether we can ever really trust our own instincts. So, the first step is to accept your landscape of feelings and to understand they are all there for good reasons, and can be used as valuable navigational tools to help you identify what’s really going on inside. It’s so important to give yourself permission to feel, and permission to look closely at what your feelings are trying to tell you. Consider the following: When you feel depressed, ask yourself what you are angry about. Depression is very often 1) anger that has no apparent external target. With no target, it boomerangs back to us in the form of depression. Or, 2) we don’t allow ourselves to even feel angry (must be one of those “bad” feelings) lest we then feel guilty about it. (How can you possibly be angry at your own mother?!) So the result of unaddressed anger? Depression.

When you feel angry, ask yourself who or what has disappointed you. Anger, as uncomfortable as it might be, can serve as a protective armor against feelings that you may consider even more uncomfortable, such as hurt, fear, disappointment, hopelessness, shame. We prefer to have the feeling we can handle, rather than the ones we think we cannot. So what’s going on underneath the anger? When you feel critical, ask yourself where this critical voice is coming from, and if it is really serving you or not. If you’re shoulding on yourself, you’re trying to stop a feeling in its tracks. Why? What would you be feeling if you gave yourself permission…shame, guilt, fear? Why isn’t it OK to feel what you’re feeling or think what you’re thinking? You can perhaps see how feelings are not only OK, but extremely helpful in getting to the root of problems. And none of them are “bad.” By honoring and accepting our human-ness, we can accept our feelings—feelings that are there for good reasons. Therapy can be very helpful in sorting this out. The goal is to learn to listen, trust, and let your thoughts and feelings guide you. Till next time, from the philosopher Dogen: “Do not follow the idea of others, but learn to listen to the voice within yourself.”

“We prefer to have the feeling we can handle, rather than the ones we think we cannot. So what’s going on underneath the anger?”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and is the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.”

at Georgia Southern, Sat. Oct 17 @ 6

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Cover Story

Summing Up Sustainability in both Chattanooga and the areas surrounding it.

By Janis Hashe

“Our region has a choice. The default is to leave it alone; allow our current land use and zoning codes, in place since the 1950s, to effectively dictate the structure of growth.”

ince March, The Pulse has been running a series of cover stories on “sustainability,” inspired by the group of architects, planners and others brought to town by an SDAT (Sustainable Design Assessment Team) grant. The topic has become nothing if not hot. Annexation, the possibility of metro government, consolidation of services and what that implies for the future: all are ideas aimed at planning for growth

This time, we’re revisiting key issues from the articles, as well as updating you on some developments on the state and national fronts. The final SDAT report, originally due to be completed in August, is not yet ready, according to local architect Steve Haase, chairman of the committee that brought the SDAT group to town. When it is available, we will update you on the findings. Statewide: Elected leadership from southeast TN and Chattanooga Area Regional Council of Governments completed a strategic planning retreat in September, and the numbertwo priority that emerged for the region was “Planning for and Developing Livable Communities”. Mayor Ron Littlefield attended, as well as representatives from Hamilton County and most of the surrounding county mayors and major municipal mayors. Attendees were told that The Livable Communities Act of 2009, S. 1619, which establishes a new Office of Sustainable Housing and Communities within the Department of Housing & Urban Development and includes two new competitive grant programs, one for comprehensive planning grants, could possibly provide a funding mechanism to undertake a tri-state regional planning initiative. In a memo, one attendee noted, “It will need to include land use, transportation, housing and economic development. As we all know, some of you are already involved in doing work for communities and this work could easily be incorporated into an overall regional plan.” Nationally: Also in September, a White House directive to all federal domestic agencies was issued concerning the new focus on place-based policies and programs for the administration’s 2011 budget. There is a significant emphasis being placed on regional planning and collaboration, especially finding new ways to motivate local governments to work across jurisdictional boundaries (italics ours). The same principles that are outlined in the 2011 budget memo are at the core of the administration’s Livable Communities agenda with, which is aimed at stronger integration of economic development, housing, land use and transportation planning. From March 19: What We Will Be by Janis Hashe For many American cities in the 20th century, planning and design can be summed up as: “What were we thinking?” No one was planning and designing for the future,

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Cover Story and communities were left to sprawl endlessly and unsustainably. Ask the average Chattanoogan what they would like to see their city become and the answer will be, “Not Atlanta.” Not that traffic, not that water shortage, not that loss of “small-town feel”…in general—not. But Chattanooga faces major changes in the near future, as Volkswagen moves in, bringing with it suppliers, new residents, and infrastructure demands. The city has also reversed a declining urban population, as noted in the recent Ochs Center for Metropolitan Studies report: “Between 2000 and 2007, population growth in Chattanooga (9.2%) has outpaced the six county metropolitan statistical area (8.0%) and Hamilton County (7.2%). Population growth in Chattanooga accounted for more than 37% of the population increase in the region,” the report states. It goes on to note that the birth rate is up and the death rate is down (“In 2006, there were more births in Hamilton County than in any year since 1990 and fewer deaths than in any year since 19990… …All of this change can either by managed and planned for—or, as in the case of so many cities, left to morph uncontrollably, into another Atlanta—or even another part of Atlanta. A steering committee of 18 Chattanooga architects, business people, and politicians decided to apply for an American Institute of Architects (AIA) Center for Communities by Design grant to fund a regional planning (Sustainable Design Assessment Team/ SDAT) study. In January, the AIA awarded the city a $15,000 grant, now being used to study not just Chattanooga, but Hamilton, Bradley, Marion, Catoosa, Walker and Whitfield counties. According to Joel Mills, Director, Center for Communities by Design, “We selected Chattanooga as an SDAT community

Connections by Blythe Bailey Our region has a choice. The default is to leave it alone; allow our current land use and zoning codes, in place since the 1950s, to effectively dictate the structure of growth. Our current development codes emphasize car-oriented development, massive highway infrastructure, “big box” commercial development, and farmland subdivisions. Current zoning seems to dictate more of the same suburban sprawl that has gripped major cities like Atlanta and Los Angeles in a perpetual struggle for simple resources like clean air, efficient and reliable transportation options, and plentiful drinking water. In a perfect—if frightening—example: During the last two summers, Atlanta literally ran out of water…In the case of Atlanta, encouraging or even requiring high efficiency plumbing fixtures would have done wonders for the problem, but instead of evaluating current development structures, some members of the Georgia legislature diverted attention to the relatively impractical and shortsighted idea of claiming Tennessee’s water in a property dispute. In our case, the

for several reasons. We found Chattanooga’s project scope compelling because it demonstrated a local recognition that the core issues are regional challenges which must be solved through collaborative efforts involving many jurisdictions... Finally, we found some of the key issues identified in the application important and valid items for our process, particularly given the impending impact of major economic development in the region.” From April 30: All Systems Go: Planning for an Urban Future Is All About

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infusion of investment by VW (as well as the lesser publicized but equally important investment from Alstom) will create a growth spurt that presents an opportunity to evaluate growth differently. According to [Mayor Ron] Littlefield, “We’re rich with resources, but with the example of Atlanta so close to home, the economic push from VW and Alstom represents an opportunity to plan for our growth in a way that is practical rather than political.” Karen Hundt, director of the Downtown Planning and Design Studio and pivotal member of the SDAT steering committee, has overseen the development of the recently unveiled Climate Action Plan, a major topic for the SDAT visit. She also recognizes this tremendous opportunity. “Volkswagen coming to Chattanooga is a great economic boon to this region, but along with this economic growth comes the temptation to continue the sprawling physical growth of the past,” she says. “We must seize this opportunity to change direction and follow a more sustainable path, one that strikes a better balance between the economy, ecology and social equity.” From June 11: Keeping the Farmer in the Dell by Tara Williams Nancy L.C. Steele, D.Env., points out that it is important to consider functionality of land when planning development. As the Executive Director of the Los Angeles & San Gabriel Rivers Watershed Council, Steele has studied the changes brought on by urban sprawl. “Los Angeles County used to be one of the

highest producing agricultural regions in California and our Silicon Valley was once renowned as the best region for stone-fruit orchards. Those high-quality soils are under concrete and asphalt now,” says Steele, “I find it amazing that many people think that all land is the same, and that you can build on high-quality agricultural lands while expecting farmers to move to

Cover Story lands marginal for farming.” Steele had a chance to visit Chattanooga as part of the Sustainable Design Assessment Team (SDAT) and will present her findings in the team’s report this summer. “In general, America’s farms provide Americans with greater food security and safety,” says Steele, “When we can buy our food direct, which can only happen if the farms are close to our cities, we can chose riper, fresher food and talk to the farmer about their practices.” The environmental ramifications of replacing our farms with neighborhoods and commercial business go beyond the additional pollution due to excessive food transportation. “Working farmland, like all vegetation, not only emits oxygen, but also filters out the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide and other pollutants,” says Chattanooga’s Air Pollution Control Bureau Director Bob Colby. “In addition, as people move farther into the country, population density increases resulting in more cars on the road. These cars have to travel longer distances, which causes even greater amounts of pollution to enter our atmosphere. All of this negatively affects our air quality and the environment.”… …Our diminishing farmland is not just a local problem. It is an issue nationwide. It is a dilemma that we need to solve; not only to rescue our current food culture and preserve one of our greatest resources but also to care for our upcoming generations. It is a challenging predicament, but is it an unsolvable problem? Some say yes, that it is too late to stop the progression of development; that overpopulation and over-availability have made this wave unstoppable. Yet there are a growing number of people saying no, that this wave can be and needs to be controlled and the momentum of development slowed down. For this to happen will take careful planning, foresight and a genuine concern for the well being of future generations. Simply put, it will require all of us to be aware and care.

logical and economically prudent tool to achieve our clients’ goals in many (but not all) cases. As for how a “movement” is criticized, it’s important to look at the message, and not the messenger. For instance, our country is better off without slavery, but the critics of the “abolitionist movement” said it was a case of “them telling us how to live” and that it would “wreck our economy.” the same things are said about the healthcare “debate”, or sustainability. Similarly, women are pleased to have the right to vote and own property today, but the “feminist movement” that achieved those crucial civil rights was likewise criticized as outsiders dictating how others should live. A “green movement” can provide healthier air, water, food, and active living, which will help prevent our economy from wasting so much money on healthcare. Green economic practices can help our national security by not sending dollars to petroleumrich, anti-democratic and religiously radical countries that don’t share our values. “Green” methods of providing essential services can improve the quality of our lives. Everything from a pleasurable and neighborly walk to work, to hunting and fishing in a pristine natural area is a benefit to us all. Maybe you want to spend healthcare resources treating preventable, environmentally borne diseases… …When we believe in what is best about America, and work to solve our problems here at home, we all win. We need to examine the corporate welfare that is supporting the fortunes of a very few at the expense of us all. Attaching positive economic activity to our urban and wild environment is already rewarded by the market in some places, and it’s spreading. We need to believe that we all deserve something better. When we achieve that level of self-esteem, I believe a green movement will flourish without the easy target of a “movement” attached to it. It will simply be normal.

“Everything from a pleasurable and neighborly walk to work, to hunting and fishing in a pristine natural area is a benefit to us all.” The role of the SDAT study is “to establish some guidelines as far what directions we need to move forward,” he says. Comprised of a group of experts in environment, transportation, planning and regional cooperation, the team is designed to work as a “catalyst, convener, and source of information that helps AIA members work with citizens, businesses, public officials, and other stakeholders to envision and create more livable communities,” according to the AIA website. “I don’t think it’s really going to address this issue [of gentrification] specifically,” Haase says. But the final SDAT report will build on the city’s commitment to sustainable communities, a commitment to meet the needs of today’s citizens without sabotaging the ability of future generations to meet their needs. As the region weighs how to face the challenges of social equity, the need to address the fallout from urban renewal will manifest itself, Haase and others, say. “You are pushing the low-income folks out of where they have services and conveniences to some place where most likely those things don’t exist,” Haase says. “If they did exist, there would be more demand for the neighborhoods they are moving into.” From September 10: Greening the Ghetto—and Finding the Promised Land by Janis Hashe Majora Carter: In my nonprofit work with Sustainable South Bronx, and on the for-profit consulting side that I do now, “green” is a very

From July 30: Whose Backyard Is It Anyway? by Beverly A. Carroll Despite a reluctance to openly discuss the topic, city leaders, builders and realtors and residents agree that gentrification—the name for the dislocation of residents pushed out of their neighborhoods by hikes in property tax and rents, or selling out too soon—has been a byproduct of revival in most of Chattanooga’s urban neighborhoods. Though many public and private agencies have worked to avert the negative consequences of gentrification, residents are still being pushed out communities where they grew up, raised their children, and planned to live out their lives. “When development comes through, it tends to raise those property values and pushes out the lowerincome folk,” says Steve Haase, an architect with Franklin and Associates, and chairman of the steering committee responsible for bringing the American Institute of Architect’s Sustainable Design Assessment Team (SDAT) here. Awarded through a competitive process from AIA’s Communities by Design, the grant is in anticipation of the estimated 20,000 jobs and subsequent changes that will follow the $1 billion VW assembly plant set to open here in 2011. “The impact of VW will be like absorbing a small town over a seven-county region,” Haase says. 95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.15.09 The Pulse

Life In The Noog

Common Scents? By Chuck Crowder

hroughout space and time, fads, fashions and faux pas make their way in and out of popular culture as quickly and unceremoniously as growing mold on day old bread. Some we miss, some we don’t—but all seem to leave a mark on society that we’ll never forget. In the fifties, it was poodle skirts and greased back hair. In the sixties, long hair and peace signs. In the seventies, bell bottoms and disco. In the eighties, we were all getting sideways haircuts and wearing checkerboard or Japanese “rising sun” T-shirts (and shoes). In the nineties it was “grungy” flannel shirts and holey cardigans. But this decade, there’s a whole new “scents-less” iconic trait— body odor. That’s right, B.O. (the oncefriendly acronym meant not to offend people who reek of bodily secretions normally washed away with common household soap and a little water). Seems the slackers these days have taken things up a notch. Along with skinny jeans, western shirts (one size too small) and army surplus man purses, today’s new look also has a smell associated with it—and it stinks. In my day, we were taught to take baths…every day. Because you knew that if you didn’t, you’d smell like that kid in class who lived in a trailer and had to use the most dreaded of embarrassing slips of paper known to grade schoolers everywhere—the meal ticket. Nobody wanted to smell like that (or be forced to eat cafeteria food). I remember my brother going through his preteen years as a Boy Scout thinking it was cool to smell like he had been surviving on twigs and berries in the woods for days and days just because he’d learned a few tricks on how to live off the

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land. I distinctly recall, in addition to the God-awful smell, his hair had a constant sheen only Turtle Wax can provide and he scratched himself a lot. And that’s one of the side effects of not splashing a little soapy water on yourself from time to time. Your body starts to itch with the crawling of tiny body mites that have decided it’s safe to start a subdivision in your nooks and crannies with cul-de-sacs where the kids can play because there’s no way the monsoon is coming anytime soon. Although it’s mainly guys I see sporting this new scent, some girls waft it too. Usually it’s the chicks with armpit hair or dreadlocks, but sometimes the source of a smell will surprise you. You can just imagine what other types of hygiene they’re leaving to nature. Yikes. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that smelling good is a plus in just about everyone’s book. Read any Playboy playmate bio sheet and she’ll always state in the “turn offs” category “guys who are rude or smell bad.” And by the IQs we’re dealing with here, these two personality flaws must be the lowest common denominators between guys who actually have a chance at getting laid and those who don’t. I think that’s why they made Axe body spray for the younger bunch. Even if you’re too lazy to step into the shower, you can at least squirt some air freshener on your chest so girls won’t have to cover their noses when you hit them up in the Unum parking lot while leaning against your F-150 with your ball cap turned around backwards. They even have scents that are known aphrodisiacs to chicks— like chocolate. I mean, come on, if you can’t get a chick to nibble on your knobby when it smells like a Whitman’s Sampler, then when can you? But that’s not the problem. The problem is the slackers who just don’t get it. Nobody cares that

“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that smelling good is a plus in just about everyone’s book. Read any Playboy playmate bio sheet and she’ll always state in the ‘turn offs’ category ‘guys who are rude or smell bad.’” you prefer to wear your sister’s jeans. Nobody cares that you think it’s cool to wear hats with bills that are too short. And nobody cares that your long sleeves only reach about mid-forearm. When it comes to truly offending those of us who like peaceful surroundings void of unpleasant noises and smells—get a grip already. Take a bath. It can only help your chances for achieving some level of success…or at least a hug. Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his wildly popular website www.thenoog.com

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Arts & Entertainment

Quarter Century of Song By Janis Hashe

ne of Chattanooga’s most-respected arts organizations is having a milestone birthday this year. In 1985, Dr. John Hamm created Choral Arts of Chattanooga. “I knew J. Oscar Miller, the prominent music teacher,” explains Dr. Hamm, “who was bringing world-class singers into the city. I also knew accomplished local singers who wanted to continue singing. My wife, Esther, agreed to manage the organization, and so, on November 17, 1985, we presented our first concert of Bach’s Magnificat and Handel’s Dettingen Te Deum.” Dr. Hamm recruited from church choirs, “wonderful people who were also wonderful singers,” and grew the organization for 10 years before being succeed by Philip Rice, who directed the organization from 1995-2003. “At the time I was asked to become artistic director, I was very involved with the CSO,” Rice says. “I brought an orchestral component to the organization.” During his tenure, Choral Arts made several recordings, including A Christmas Portrait, called by music critic Martin Bookspan “one of the best recordings of its type,” and Brubeck in Chattanooga, featuring world premieres by acclaimed jazz artist Dave Brubeck, who specifically selected Choral Arts to record them. Rice remains very proud of these accomplishments. “The dedication of this choir is immense,” he says. “They have the potential to offer the same quality of classical music as any other top-level arts organization in Tennessee.”

In 2004, the group’s 20th season, Dr. William Green was named artistic director to continue the tradition of presenting the finest choral masterpieces and contemporary literature. Asked why he feels the organization has survived and flourished for so long, he responds, “There has been a strong interest in great choral music performed with excellence in the Chattanooga community. I think that Choral Arts provides a place to hear wonderful music with a touch of polish that might not be attainable in church or school performances. You bring together exceptional musicians with talent and musical sensitivity and the result is amazing, something that our community recognizes.” Choral Arts has also changed as an organization over the years. “In the last six years, we have refocused our energy in two areas,” Dr. Green notes. “First, developing a well-balanced artistic ensemble and second on collaborating with other artists in the area. The desire to balance the group has given us the task of carefully selecting not only the best singers, but also voices that work well together. Collaboration has enriched our audiences in allowing them to experience the music in a brandnew way.” The 25th anniversary season includes three concerts. “We start off the season with one of my favorite programs to date,” he says. “We are focusing on music that reflects our region, with pieces that speak literally of the area, are written by area composers, or have a tie to the physical landscape of the Chattanooga area. A unique element will be a photo display that will accompany many of the pieces using the art of local photographers, such as Virginia Webb. “We’ll close the season in great fashion as well with a full performance of Haydn’s Creation. This presentation with full orchestra, soloists, and chorus will feature two very special groups, both celebrating 25th anniversaries this year, Choral Arts and The Chattanooga Bach Choir. This provides an exceptional opportunity to partner in celebration of great choral music.” For tickets and more information, visit www.choralartsofchattanooga.org or call (423) 877-7050.

“You bring together exceptional musicians with talent and musical sensitivity and the result is amazing, something that our community recognizes.”

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Tennessee Soundscapes A multi-media concert “bringing together the beauty of our local landscape with remarkable music that represents our area.” Included will be songs about Tennessee, pieces that reflect the nature of the area, and compositions from Tennessee composers. $15 7:30 October 20 Humanities Theater, Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Highway.

Vision of Christmas Past & Present A look back at Choral Arts over the last 25 years, focusing on the great music that has been presented in this annual holiday concert. $15 7:30 December 15 First Centenary United Methodist Church, 419 McCallie Avenue.

Haydn’s Creation The season finishes with a concert of grand proportion from one of the masters of choral music. $15 7:30 Brainerd United Methodist Church, 4315 Brainerd Road.

A&E Calendar Friday

Thursday

CSO presents Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1 Lush Russian music from the master. Guest pianist Michael Chertock. $19 - $75 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street. (423) 267-8553. www.chattanoogasymphony.org

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Works by Susan Dryfoos-Solo Show from New York 11 a.m. Gallery 1401, 1401 Williams St. (423) 266-0015. Latin American Identity Film Night 5:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. “Small Works” Reception 5:30 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 Terrace Ave. (423) 493-0270. Photography Society of Chattanooga Open House 7 p.m. East Ridge Community Center, 1517 Tombras Ave. (423) 591-2916. Occupying the Theater Dance Performances 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

Howlin’ at the Moon Blues, beer, barbecue and boat rides in support of the red wolf. $30 7 p.m. Chattanooga Nature Center, 400 Garden Road. (423) 821-1160, ext. 111. www.chattanooganaturecenter.org

Saturday

The Laramie Project Docudrama about the aftermath of the murder of Matthew Shepard. $10 3 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Street. (423) 987-5141. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

Monday “Speak Easy” Spoken word and poetry 8 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9040. www.mudpierestaurant.com “Collaboration: Two Decades of African American Art” African American Museum, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658. www.caamhistory.org “New York Cool” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Landscapes by Megan Lightell River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com “Tesserae” works by Leslie Dulin In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com

Sunset Concert Series: Mike & Rhonda Harris 7 p.m. North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924. Friday Nigh Improv 7 p.m. Humanities Theatre, Chattanooga State. 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3113. I Puritani Cinema Opera 7 p.m. Rave Theatre, 5060 S. Terrace Ave. (423) 855-9652. www.ravemotionpictures.com The Laramie Project 7:30 p.m. St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Center. (423) 987-5141. www.st-andrewscenter.org Henry Cho: Comedy 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Tchaikovsky Piano Concerto No. 1 Concert 8 p.m. Chattanooga Symphony and Orchestra, 630 Chestnut St. (423) 267-8583. www.chattanoogasymphony.org The Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com “Persona + Anima” CreateHere, 55 East Main St. Ste. 105. (423) 648-2195. www.createhere.org Works by Cat Collier, Valerie Fleming, Lisa Norris and Ellen Franklin Gannon Art Gallery, 3250 Brainerd Rd. (423) 622-8256. “Maggie!” Shuptrine Fine Art and Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.goldleafdesigns.com

Sunday Rocktoberfest 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten St. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (706) 820-2531. Mosaic Market 11 a.m. 412 Market St. (corner of 4th/Market) (423) 624-3915. The Mystery at the Nightmare High School Reunion 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. New Voices Poetry Reading 7 p.m. Pasha Coffeehouse, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 315-0721. The Miss Annie Theatre Awards 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Henry Cho: Comedy 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

The Mystery of the Red NeckItalian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com “Magnificent Fifty” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924. “Movement” Shuptrine Fine Art and Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. “Fresh: Emerging Artists” Association for Visual Arts, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org “A World of Glass Houston Museum of Arts, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. “Black Diamond Days: Life in the Negro Leagues” Chattanooga African American Museum, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658.

Tuesday

Wednesday

Arts Chatt 5 p.m. Easy Bistro, 203 Broad St. (423) 266-1121. www.easybistro.com Classic Literature Book Club: We are the Living by Ayn Rand 7 p.m. Rock Point Books, 401 Broad St. (423) 756-2855. www.rockpointbooks.com “Morocco: An Exhibition of Paintings by Jack Denton” The Gallery, 3918 Dayton Blvd. (423) 870-2443. www.redbankgallery.com “Close to Home” Photography by Mark Wood Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy. Lookout Mtn, GA. (706) 419-1430. “Small Works” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 Terrace Ave. (423) 493-0270. www.jcfgc.com

“A Creation of Character” Luncheon 11:30 a.m. CreateHere, 55 E. Main St. (423) 648-2195. www.createhere.org Art 21-“Art in the 21st Century” Lecture 5:30 p.m. AVA, 30 Frazier Avenue. (423) 265-4282, ext. 104. “Tennessee Soundscapes” Choral Arts 7:30 p.m. Humanities Theatre, Chattanooga State. 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 598-3274. “Sticky Situation” sculpture by Johnston Foster & “Gazer” paintings by Christine Gray Opening Reception Cress Gallery, 752 Vine St. (423) 304-9789. Bronzes by Roses Taylor Gallery II/Studio II, 27 W. Main St. (423) 266-2222.

I Puritani Filmed version of the opera, as presented by Teatro Communal of Bologna. $20 1 p.m. Rave Motion Pictures, 5080 N. Terrace Road. (423) 855.9652. www.ravemotionpictures.com

“Poetic Voices: Young Poets with Old Souls” Booksigning 2 p.m. Glenwood Recreation Center, 2610 East 3rd St. (423) 697-1284. Cat People 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga-Hamilton Bicentennial Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310. www.lib.chattanooga.gov Chattanooga Bach Choir 3:30 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 886-6409. www.saygrace.net Scenic City Chorale 4 p.m. First United Methodist Church, 500 S. Thornton Ave. (423) 756-4100 Wind Ensemble Concert 7:30 p.m. Collegedale Southern Day Adventist Church, 4829 College Dr. (423) 236-2880.

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Occupying the Theater One-time only opportunity to see these four top-notch dance talents together on one stage. Dancers include David Appel, Mary Foshee, Sycamore Tiffel and Chattanooga’s own Ann Law. $10 (free for Chattanooga State students with student ID) 8 p.m., Thursday, October 15 Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Avenue. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

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The Women’s Expo Guide 10.15.09

Table Service

Comfort and Innovation on the Menu at ELEVEN By Colleen Wade

ust a little over a week ago marked the first anniversary of a restaurant in a local hotel. I am hesitant to use that terminology…hotel restaurant evokes images of Howard Johnson’s and Denny’s. ELEVEN is anything but. On October 8, 2008, Vision Hospitality Group opened the Doubletree Hotel on Chestnut Street after months of renovations, repositioning themselves as an upscale, full-service hotel. The property underwent a vast number of changes; updating the rooms and meeting space to have a more modern and stylish appearance and adding a new heated, outdoor saltwater pool. But perhaps the most notable change was the addition of a new second-floor restaurant, ELEVEN.

“ELEVEN offers a lunch buffet with a bountiful salad buffet, freshly baked yeast rolls, homemade soups, three entrees, three vegetables, pastas, pilafs, potatoes and a dessert buffet lovingly created by their baker, Donna.” During the planning stages of the restaurant, the owners of Vision Hospitality Group decided they wanted a fresh look at what a hotel restaurant could be. The restaurant needed to match the contemporary design schemes and warm, vibrant colors of the hotel. Says Chef Joe Fidelibus, who joined Vision Hospitality Group a year before the opening of ELEVEN, “The atmosphere matches the clean lines and freshness of the hotel. It’s naturally

lighted, comfortable seating with plenty of elbow room, very unpretentious with colors that brighten your day. In the evening, we drape our tables with linen and dim the lighting to offer a relaxing end-ofthe-day mode.” When asked what has made ELEVEN successful, Chef Fidelibus says, “Some venues give up, offering mundane menu items and some go over the top with high prices that drive guests outside the facility. Our thoughts were to offer traditional/local and regional favorites with some twists.” The culinary team at ELEVEN does just this with items such as their fried green tomatoes appetizer. They’ve taken mama’s recipe and tweaked it, adding a pimento cheese topping and balsamic reduction as an accent sauce. Says Chef Fidelibus, “Visitors to our region expect some of the ‘flavors’ they have heard about and this is one way to give them a taste of the New South.” Another explanation for the success of ELEVEN is that the staff of the restaurant went to the visitors for ideas. They spoke with guests; either in person, via e-mail, or through notes left at the restaurant, and found that overwhelmingly, what people wanted was comfort food. In the beginning, ELEVEN offered heavier meals like steaks and chops. Once the guests had spoken, Chef Fidelibus and his culinary crew made some modifications to the menu. A Hanger Steak was added to replace some of the heavier offerings. Served with merlot reduction gravy, the Hanger Steak flies out of the kitchen. The staff also found that guests of the hotel were leaving the facility for the day, either attending business meetings or visiting local tourist attractions, so they took to the streets—they went into the business community and invited them in for lunch. Chef Fidelibus and his staff asked them what they would like to see in a restaurant, and asked them to forget that ELEVEN was located in a hotel. Again, the people responded with a cry for comfort—comfort food, that is—as well as reasonable prices and fresh offerings. From this, a lunch buffet was created. Monday through Friday, ELEVEN offers a lunch buffet with a bountiful salad buffet, freshly baked yeast rolls, homemade soups, three entrees, three vegetables, pastas, pilafs,

potatoes and a dessert buffet lovingly created by their baker, Donna. “All of this including your beverage for $8.95,” says Chef Fidelibus, “and you eat on china, not out of a paper bag.” Since ELEVEN’s lunch buffet had been such a hit, Chef Fidelibus and staff decided, two weeks prior to the holiday, to host an Easter dinner. To their surprise, 450 people showed up. The same thing happened on Mother’s Day. Now the staff at ELEVEN is offering a lavish buffet on Thanksgiving as well. Hotel restaurants are often viewed by locals as a place for out of town guests to grab a quick bite before heading out for the day or turning in for the night. Since its opening, the staff at ELEVEN has made it a mission to change the way Chattanooga thinks when it comes to hotel dining. ELEVEN is located on the second floor of the Doubletree Hotel at 407 Chestnut Street, in downtown Chattanooga. (423) 756-5150.

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On The Beat

The Modern Stabbing: A Case Study By Alex Teach

here are two primary differences between getting stabbed when you are sober and getting stabbed when you are drunk: The first is that when drunk, your blood is generally thinner and therefore less likely to coagulate, so you really lose a lot of it, and it makes a hell of a mess in general. (Don’t get me started on the smell; it stinks of booze for the same reason Breathalyzers work.) The second is that you probably deserved it. It was 3 a.m. in the Emma Wheeler housing development and a very sleepy detective was conducting his rounds of interviews about the night’s festivities while we in uniform kept the place secured from the indigenous population. The wound of this night’s “victim” was life threatening to a normal man, but being intoxicated, unemployed, and a convicted multiple felon, we knew he would probably be released from the hospital by morning and live to be 90 years old; in my experience senseless dying was generally reserved for the civically and socially responsible. As for the crime itself? It was the usual: According to the victim, he was just minding his own business at 2 a.m. on Southern Street when he was stabbed for “no reason at all.” Absolutely horrible. I mean, what kind of world is this we live in where you can’t hang out under a street light in a federal housing project at 2 o’clock in the morning just minding your own business without worrying about getting stabbed? The poor guy was probably job hunting or looking for a child to teach to read, because you’d think I was a cynical asshole if, based on my experience and the circumstances, I implied he fit the criminal profile of “one most likely stabbed over drugs or money”. Perish the thought, Dear Reader; I think the Best of Humanity. Like most Americans, I firmly believe that thinking the worst should only be reserved for political gain or when

you actually want to solve a problem. Speaking of political gain, even the type of crime itself was getting the public relations treatment. When I started this job, poking someone with a knife was still called a “stabbing” but I had watched over the years as political correctness had started to edge out the word “stabbing” in favor of “cutting”. I mean, we couldn’t go around with words like “stabbing” in reports scaring people and giving them a negative perception of crime, could we? What would make you feel better: Hearing “Ray-Ray stabbed Lysol over spilling his beer”, or “Ray-Ray cut Lysol over spilling his beer”? Isn’t that amazing? It’s pure horseshit, of course, but I have to credit it as brilliant horseshit. Me? I’ve always been a “stabbing” person myself. It just has a gripping tone to it, but I always have been one for drama. “Cutting,” though…pure spin genius of the highest Clinton-era level, and like any worthy adversary, I had to respect it. Stabbing, cutting…whatever the word, it was still mine for the night. The excitement had come to a halt in the last hour and the firemen on scene (now known as “firefighters” or “conflagration technicians”, I assume) were about to go to sleep standing up against the front of their apparatus (once known as a “truck”). Apparently the stress of waiting to put their years of experience and training to the test by pouring a bottle of diluted bleach onto the blood to sanitize it was losing a fight to their circadian rhythms, and I began wishing they weren’t there. Don’t get me wrong, they were friends and I loved them…but like seeing someone else yawn, it caused me to lean against my own car, and my mind drifted to thoughts of why it was I carried my coffee in a cup instead of a vat, then answered itself with the probability that it was because my coffee is as strong as their bleach. From this thought, I then began wondering which was more likely to leave a clean spot on the sidewalk

“What kind of world is this we live in where you can’t hang out under a street light in a federal housing project at 2 o’clock in the morning just minding your own business without worrying about getting stabbed?” when poured on it, when finally I was mercifully interrupted by the lead detective’s voice coming over the radio giving the go-ahead to clear the scene. I shook the cobwebs from my head as the Nozzleheads finally got to pour their bleach, and I drove off exchanging friendly waves of the hand, crime-scene tape still blowing in the cool fall wind as another officer began cutting it from the street signs and lamp posts. I hadn’t gotten three blocks away when I was dispatched to another call, which was coincidentally another “cutting”…and based on the time, was also probably done “for no reason at all”. I mean, why wouldn’t it be? It’s part of thinking the Best of Humanity. When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student at UTC, an up and coming carpenter, auto mechanic, prominent boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

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Shades Of Green

Glowing Piles of Trouble By Victoria Hurst

ak Ridge, Tennessee, about two hours from Chattanooga, is home to the fourth-largest employer in the state: The Department of Energy’s Oak Ridge Reservation, consisting of a National Laboratory, Technology Park, and the Oak Ridge Institute for Science and Education. From the Department of Energy’s web site: “With a federal and contractor workforce of 13,000 people, the Department of Energy is committed to continuing its strong ties to the communities in East Tennessee. The support of our local communities has enabled the Oak Ridge Office to undertake some of the most complex work in the Department. And there is more to come as the Oak Ridge Office advances in public and private sector growth the areas of science, manufacturing, national security and reindustrialization.” EnergySolutions is a company that operates low-level radioactive waste disposal facilities, vaults, and landfills on the reservation. It is the only private radioactive waste disposal company in the country. Ninety percent of the national waste is processed and “disposed” of in facilities in Utah, South Carolina, and Tennessee. An in-depth investigation of this situation, conducted by journalist Demetria Kalodimos of Nashville’s Channel 4/WSMV, led to some less-than-welcome results. The report inspired by this investigation identified the Tennessee State Department of Environment and Conservation (TDEC) and Tennessee as having the highest rate of releasing nuclear waste out of control. TDEC licenses companies to import nuclear waste into the state for “processing.” All of the waste generated by nuclear weapons manufacturing has to go somewhere. The Nuclear Information and Resource Service (NIRS) has records of the Department of Energy’s (DOE) release of radioactive materials to landfills which, in turn, unknowingly allow the materials to be recycled and resold. These materials can find their way into a number of products, including toys, furniture, cars, zippers, or building

materials. Schools, playgrounds, and roads are more commonly being created from what was once nuclear waste. The DOE is able to sell these contaminated materials at auctions or through exchanges, or they can also release the materials to processors. At that stage, the materials are detached from the regulations related to their proper disposal. Despite a ban set by the Secretary of Energy in 2000 to eliminate recycling of radioactive metals, all kinds of potentially hazardous materials find their way into public waste. The NIRS’s report entitled, “Out of Control on Purpose: DOE’s Dispersal of Radioactive Waste into Landfills and Consumer Products,” outlined the DOE’s plan for a mandatory clean up of 114 sites across the country. The professed goal of this venture: to take responsibility for the environmental impact being made by the nation’s nuclear weapons program and nuclear energy research. At the same time, DOE has been campaigning for the release of control of radioactivity, so there will be fewer restrictions on the allocation of nuclear waste. NIRS investigated seven different sites during its investigation, including Oak Ridge. In the report, Tennessee is designated as “the main funnel that pours nuclear weapon and power waste from around the country into landfills and recycling facilities without public knowledge.” Radioactive scraps are mixed in with common landfill trash and could prove very harmful to those who live near these sites. Most of the people who are being exposed are probably unaware of their proximity to these dangers. Either the DOE or the brokers and processors they authorize are directly responsible for the presence of these harmful substances. As other nations see the U.S. dispose of its dangerous waste in the backyards of its citizens, they suspect it might be a good place for their waste also. EnergySolutions,

the company that is affiliated with disposal at Oak Ridge, has applied for a license in Tennessee to process nuclear waste from Italy. That’s right: Nuclear waste shipped from Italy to find its resting place in the rolling hills and valleys of Tennessee. Bart Gordon, Chair of the House Committee on Science and Technology, took a stand for his state in February of last year. He pleaded with the Northwest Interstate Compact of Low-Level Radioactive Waste Management to withhold the kind of licensing which would put our country in danger of being known as “the world’s nuclear waste garbage dump.” Deals like the one proposed by EnergySolutions are only adding to the weight of this momentous pile of trouble. If you are interested in battling the growth of the radioactive trash pile accumulating about 120 miles away, a good first step is to contact our governor, state representatives and senators and congressmen and senators and share your desire that they oppose legislation allowing the importation of international nuclear waste. To learn more, visit www.nirs. org

“Despite a ban set by the Secretary of Energy in 2000 to eliminate recycling of radioactive metals, all kinds of potentially hazardous materials find their way into public waste.”

Victoria Hurst is a proud resident of the Appalachian Mountains. She has recently graduated from Warren Wilson College with a B.A. in English: Creative Writing.

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New in Theaters Where the Wild Things Are One of the most eagerly anticipated and most confusing film releases of the year is Spike Jonze’s liveaction take on Maurice Sendak’s classic children’s book Where the Wild Things Are. There has been so much already written in film and entertainment magazines and on web sites that the actual release of the film almost seems anticlimactic—until you actually see the movie and understand why Jonze was so insistent on making the film live action. Also, you understand why he fought so passionately with studio executives in not “dumbing down” his vision to appeal to the lowest common (first grader) denominator. Where the Wild Things Are does something that almost no other so-called kids movie ever does—it shows what young kids, specifically boys, are really like. They are wild, often out of control, enjoying destruction simply for the sake of destruction, and also vulnerable and, for all their outward signs of burgeoning independence, seeking comfort, protection and love in a big, scary world. Visually stunning, superbly directed and acted, and at often times very intense, the movie

well earns its PG rating…and in the process becomes a must-see for every adult who still has a 9 year old hiding inside. Starring: Max Records, Catherine Keener, Mark Ruffalo, James Gandolfini, Catherine O’Hara, Forest Whitaker Director: Spike Jonze Rating: PG

Also in Theaters Law Abiding Citizen (New) Gerard Butler stars as a criminal mastermind out for revenge, sending an entire city into chaos from the confines of his prison cell. The Stepfather (New) A young man grows suspicious of his mother’s new boyfriend—is he really the man of her dreams or could he be hiding a dark side? Couples Retreat Four couples embark on a tropical island vacation, only to discover that participation in the resort’s couples therapy is mandatory. Zombieland A ragtag group joins forces to survive against worldwide zombie mayhem, and must determine what’s worse: the zombies or each other. Capitalism: A Love Story Documentary filmmaker Michael Moore takes aim at the corporate and political shenanigans behind the global economic

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crisis. The Invention of Lying In an alternate reality where lying doesn’t exist, Ricky Gervais is a downon-his-luck loser who suddenly develops the ability to lie. Whip It Ellen Page stars as a teenage beauty pageant reject who finally finds herself after joining a fierce female roller derby team. Toy Story & Toy Story 2 Woody, Buzz Lightyear and the rest of the gang from Pixar’s toy chest return for their original adventures— this time in 3-D! Fame At the New York City High School of Performing Arts, a talented group of singers, dancers, actors and artists strive for the spotlight. Pandorum Two men wake up on a spacecraft with no memory of who they are or where they’re going, and must uncover the ship’s deadly secrets.

Surrogates Bruce Willis must investigate a murder in a futuristic society where human interaction has been replaced by idealized robotic surrogates Coco Before Chanel Audrey Tautou stars as legendary couturier Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel, whose iconic imprint on fashion defined the modern woman. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs Based on popular children’s book, a scientist tries to solve world hunger, only to see things go completely awry as food falls from the sky in abundance. Love Happens Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart star in the story of a self-help author who meets the woman who might finally help him help himself. Jennifer’s Body Megan Fox stars as a high school cheerleader who becomes possessed and begins killing people.

Film Feature

Undead Can Dance by Damien Power

t makes me angry. Angry, I say! Zombieland will never win an Oscar for cinematography, simply because it is a zombie movie. In a world where directors (and directors of photography) are honored for horrible shaky-cam “grittiness”, a movie with such beautiful filmmaking as Zombieland will be cast aside every time. Director Ruben Fleischer deserves an Oscar—and you can quote me on that. Starring Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus, and Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee, Zombieland details the life of two survivors with very different philosophies struggling to survive in a post-zombie apocalypse America. Along their way they are carjacked by the ravishingly emo Wichita (Emma Stone) and adorably vicious Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). You’ll notice the motif in their names, as Tallahassee doesn’t want anyone getting too attached, so they go by the names of the cities they used to call home.

helped him establish other such important rules as “Rule #2: Beware of Bathrooms” and “Rule #4: Doubletap.” Each time these rules are implemented, the director chose an ingenious way of layering the words over the film much in the way Volkswagen did with their CC commercials. The words become part of the setting, and occasionally get broken or blood-spattered— particularly as it pertains to Rule #4. Inversely, Tallahassee has a philosophy that is considerably more basic. He is a man who enjoys killing zombies, is in search of the last of the Twinkies, and idolizes the acting prowess of Bill Murray. Preferring to be armed to the teeth, and chock-full of excellent one-liners, Tallahassee loves his work. A poster of the look on his face upon receiving his prized Twinkie should adorn college dorm rooms across the nation. Additionally, your day will be brightened when Tallahassee finds an abandoned Hummer H2 filled with automatic weapons, and triumphantly exclaims, “God bless rednecks!” Oddly enough, Tallahassee also has the only visceral storyline of the foursome. His rationale for bloodthirsty vengeance against the undead abruptly shifts from superficial to completely justified. It might be hard to believe, but Zombieland could be the best example of Harrelson’s true acting abilities. The sisters, Wichita and Little Rock, are on their way to Pacific Playland. This amusement park is hyped to sound like Disneyland, but in actuality resembles Lake Winnepesaukah. The purpose of this quest is to give Little Rock back a moment of her childhood, and the sisters are quite determined in

“The absolute most beautiful image you will see in a movie this year will be Abigail Breslin running through chaos wearing a Native American headdress and carrying a spear.” Columbus has survived the apocalypse by adhering to a strict set of numbered rules. The most important is “Rule #1: Cardio” because as the director points out in the first few moments of the film, “The fatties were the first to go.” Columbus is a hypochondriac, omniphobic weenie, who spent his days before the apocalypse shut up in his apartment playing World of Warcraft. His fear of everything

their purpose. In the days before the apocalypse, the sisters worked as a con team, and their unique set of skills works to their advantage in Zombie America. The unnamed star of the movie is a highspeed camera. While other directors work hard to obscure what you’re seeing by shaking their cameras to pieces, Fleischer went the other direction and slowed the action down. Don’t be confused: We’re not talking about the CG-slow-mo of 300 or The Matrix; instead we just have perfectly choreographed scenes complete with slow-motion fire, flying beverages and zombies. The absolute most beautiful image you will see in a movie this year will be Abigail Breslin running through chaos wearing a Native American headdress and carrying a spear. For those of you still unconvinced, let me assure you that while there’s some blood and gore, and plenty of zombies, this isn’t your typical “zombie movie”. Unless your typical zombie movie is Shaun of the Dead, then yeah, it’s a little like that.

Zombieland Directed by Ruben Fleischer Starring Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin Rated R Running time: 80 minutes

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Music Feature

Mighty Fair By Hellcat

hope everyone is having a good October despite the rain. So far, Chattanooga has had a pretty exciting month of music, with Moonlight Bride releasing their new album, and Superdrag coming to rock our faces off this weekend at JJ’s Bohemia. However, I implore you not to spend all of your rock and roll energy this weekend, as we have a pretty sweet line-up coming in Wednesday. Fair to Midland, an alternative metal band, will be performing with House Harkonnen, who is traveling with them, and local favorites Mighty Sideshow. Fair to Midland is best known for their album, Fables from a Mayfly: What I Tell You Three Times is True. From this album came two of their radio hits, “Dance of the Manatee”, which held the 19 slot on our US mainstream charts, and “Tall Tales Taste Like Sour Grapes”, which came in at 38. They’ve played the Coachella festival and graced the stage with the likes of Smashing Pumpkins, Rage Against the Machine, Queens of the Stone Age and Muse, among others. Although if you were at the Fathom show a little over a year ago, where they played with 10 Years and Mighty Sideshow, you may best know Fair to Midland for their lead singer, Darroah Sudderth, being a crazy little monkey who scaled the rafters during the middle of their performance. It was a great show. Fair to Midland was briefly signed with Universal records before taking up with the indie label Sergical Strike. When I caught up with the guitarist, Cliff Campbell, they were beginning the fall leg of their tour, trying to gain support for their soon-to-be released fourth album. Hellcat: What can you tell me about Sergical Strike? Cliff Campbell: It’s an indie label that takes baby bands and indie bands and builds them into a bigger band so that they can then upstream the band to bigger labels. They end up becoming an imprint of the bigger label that way, so they are all kind of sister labels. HC: What can you tell me about the fourth album? CC: We have blueprints of most of the songs. The album is slotted for a late spring, early summer release. HC: How did you guys become a band back in 1998? CC: Well, three of us went to high school together, and the other two were in neighboring towns. It was almost like we were the only musicians to be found,

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so we ended up together. HC: Where did you grow up? CC: Sulphur Springs, TX. HC: So you really were the only musicians? CC: (laughs) It did seem that way. It was pretty small. HC: Is that where the banjo comes from? CC: He really does play the banjo; it’s not just a prop. HC: What’s up with your band name? CC: Well, “fair to middling” is an old expression that came from cotton picking. When people picked cotton, there were three grades: fair, middle, and strict. It became a saying, when someone would ask how you were doing, a common answer was, “fair to middling”. The singer’s granddad used to say it a lot, so we just adapted it to Fair to Midland. HC: That’s pretty awesome. Other than Fathom, have you played Tennessee before? CC: We did play the Crawfish Festival in Nashville with all country bands, and that was pretty funny. HC: Wow, I bet they were as surprised as you were. What do you think of it from what you’ve seen? CC: Tennessee still has people that really love going out and watching shows. A lot of people are jaded by music and don’t come out as much in other states. Old country and rock and roll seem to still be thriving in Tennessee; it’s like a big party, which is cool because most rock comes from old country. That’s why we like to call our music, “folk metal” because it pulls from a lot of influences. I also got a moment to speak with Alan Whitener to check in with our

Mightiest of Sideshows, and this is what I found out. HC: What’s going on with the Sideshow show? AW: We just signed a new booking agent, who is putting together a tour for us. We head to Madison, WI at the first of November, to play with the LA Guns one night and headline the next at the Back Bar. We are about halfway through writing our fourth album. We are also working on changing up our show. HC: How so? AW: We are going to be playing a lot of songs we haven’t played live or don’t play often, from all the albums, to mix it up a little bit. We are going to make it better for the listeners and the fans. HC: What is different about this upcoming album? AW: It’s heavier. It’s going to end up being the heaviest of all of them. I think it reflects more of our personalities, because we listen to heavier music, like KillSwitch Engage and old Pantera. That’s the kind of stuff we like. It seems like it doesn’t matter what we do, we always get compared to Creed or Nickelback, and that’s hardly the way we want to be looked at or heard. We have a lot of big changes planned for the future—so stayed tuned to see where we go from here. I encourage all the Chattanooga music lovers to come help Mighty Sideshow demonstrate to Fair to Midland how Tennesseans party.

Fair to Midland with Mighty Sideshow $10 8 p.m. Wednesday, October 21 Midtown Music Hall, 818 Georgia Avenue (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com

Music Calendar Friday

Thursday

Taxicab Racers CD Release Party Though they’ve left us for the Big City (Nashville), we still love them anyway. $8 7 p.m. 5716 Ringgold Road, East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Keenan & Bob, Dave Dykes and the Grateful Hearts 8:30 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestuarant.com Shane Bridges and The Cadillac Saints 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Channing Wilson 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Nathan Farrow 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. Brenn and Machines Are People Too 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Zombie Dance Party Zombies dancing at a party. That just about says it all. $7 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Saturday

Kim McLean and Mark Elliot Grammy-nominated singer/ songwriter McLean teams with Americana virtuoso Elliott. $10 suggested donation. 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org

Monday Old Tyme Players 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com DJ at the Palms 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Fireside Lounge 4021 Hixson Pike, (423) 870-7078. Lucky’s 2536 Cummings Highway, (423) 825-5145. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike, (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com

Lions, HPH, Cory from This Is Luke 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge www.myspace.com/warehousetn Nu Blooze 7:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424- 3775. www.chattanooganhotel.com Harper Monice Jazz Duo 7:30 p.m. The Original Blue Orleans Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538. blueorleanscreolerestaurant.com She’s The Antagonist, Brenda Taylor 10 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 634-1074. www.myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Hopsing Project 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Black Cat Moon 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679. Noah Collins and Angel Snow 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Justin Townes Earle, J Roddy, Channing Wilson 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Booger Holler 9 p.m. The Tin Can, 618 Georgia Ave. (423) 648-4360. www.thetincanchattanooga.com Amber Fults 9:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Tremont St. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Milele Roots 10 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977.

Sunday Rich Kids and Travis Porter at SwaggFest Noon. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com The Chariot, Oh Sleeper, We Come As Romans, Dear Lovely, Dead and Devine 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Raenbow Station 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019. www.clubfathom.com Stoneline, Mushina, My Glorious 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 634-1074. www.myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Crossfire 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679.

Filmant 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Deon Taylor 9 p.m. Top of The Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. (423) 876-3356. topofthedock-chattanooga.com Preston Parris 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. DangerKitty 10 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066. DownStream with River City Hustlers 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com SUPERDRAG with The Tammys 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

Tuesday

Wednesday

The Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St., (423) 756-8253.

Ben Friberg Jazz Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260.

Billy Hopkins & Friends 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260.

The Regular Guys 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

Open Mic with Hellcat 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. Channing Wilson 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679. Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1966. Spoken Word/Poetry Night The Riverhouse, 224 Frazier Ave., (423) 752-0066.

Veronika Johnson Folk music meets R&B, with influences from Ella Fitzgerald to Odetta. Free 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter Street. (423) 648-2446. www.chattanoogamarket.com

Alpine Mountain Band 11:30 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531. Old Time Bluegrass Music Noon. Enchanted Maize, 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. (706) 820-2531. Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge, 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. Rick Mayo 5 p.m. Champy’s, 526 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 752-9198. Irish Music Sessions 6 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1966. www.tremonttavern.com Anerin, Fallacy, Axiom, Die to Yourself 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www..myspace.com/warehousetn

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Uncle Billy and Friends 8 p.m. The Tin Can, 618 Georgia Ave. (423) 648-4360.

Superdrag with The Tammys Nathan Farrow 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Mighty Sideshow, Fair to Midland 10 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com

In last week’s Hellcat article, she testified: “Superdrag has come up quite often as a favorite in many of my interviews. It isn’t hard to understand why when you listen to them. I hate to come across as someone who gushes, but with this band, I’ll risk it. They rule. Simply put.” With local faves The Tammys. Saturday, October 17 $10, 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

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New Music Reviews

By Ernie Paik

Moonlight Bride

Richard Thompson

Myths

Walking on a Wire 1968-2009

(www.myspace.com/moonlightbride)

(Shout! Factory)

Distinguishing oneself in the postpost-punk landscape can be tricky, and it helps that the Chattanooga quartet Moonlight Bride demonstrates an admirable control over its sound on its debut album, Myths. Recorded at the As Elyzum studio in St. Elmo, it strikes a good balance, and the drums are recorded impeccably. The vocals are treated in a shadowy way that favors Justin Wilcox’s voice, often simultaneously ardent and nervous and with his distinctive enunciation of vowels. A few non-jagged postpunk elements float about, like the charge of early Echo & the Bunnymen and the insistent bass lines played by Tyke Calfee. Also, Justin Grasham’s echoing guitar lines make the band akin to early ’90s shoegazer bands and their more rock-oriented ilk (Pale Saints, anyone?), and shimmering elements on tracks like “Young Guns” actually are reminiscent of material by certain noise-pop bands like Lorelei. “Transmissions” sets the stage with beeps and some ghostly, midnight sounds, segueing into the sinister number “The Colony,” with Wilcox’s doleful piano notes and vocals to match. Pulse writer Chuck Crowder’s comparison of the band to early U2 is particularly apt on songs like “Coal Miners,” with shuffling drums from Matthew Livingston and a spirit that evokes a sense of conviction. Structurally, the group’s songs tend to gravitate back to alternating between two chords, with straight eighth notes, to propel a song. I can’t quite get behind the song lyrics, generally, and some conspicuous rhymes tend to be distracting, like “We’ll sit and watch the cars go by / We’re young guns and we’re never gonna die”; a little more oblique poetry would be welcome in that department. However, Moonlight Bride’s strength is whipping up a certain compelling feeling on several of their tracks; it’s a tense yet hopeful rush, impelled with a sonic momentum, and the outfit is at its best when it harnesses that energy.

One striking thing about Walking on a Wire, the new careerspanning 4-disc boxed set from Richard Thompson, is that from the opening passage of the first song, Thompson’s guitar playing is immediately recognizable. It’s “Time Will Show the Wiser” by Fairport Convention, the legendary folk-rock band that Thompson joined while still a teenager, and his licks are invigorating and nimble. He would further reveal Scottish folk music influences, and over the next four decades, he’d both refine and expand his musical identity. His trademark solos are riddled with gliding notes and mordents, with a seemingly effortless fluidity; this would be enough to secure his legacy, but Thompson also has remarkable gifts as a nuanced songwriter and a hearty singer, as well. With no previously unreleased material, Walking on a Wire was not designed with the completist in mind. Instead, Thompson himself selected tracks from 34 albums (the major releases, not every last live album) from his fruitful career; arranged chronologically, the set is an ideal—if overwhelming, in a good way—overview for newcomers. Disc one just scratches the surface regarding the Fairport Convention material, with one track from each of the first five albums, and further delving is certainly necessary. After a trio of excellent tracks from Thompson’s first solo album, Starring as Henry the Human Fly, the compilation digs into arguably Thompson’s best period, the series of albums made with his wife Linda. Richard’s picks are more-or-less in line with conventional thinking, favoring the releases I Want to See the Bright Lights Tonight, Shoot out the Lights, and Mirror Blue, and while fans will nod in agreement at most selections, they are also sure to quibble about omissions (what, no “The End of the Rainbow”?). And this fan thinks it’s not entirely apt to take the compilation’s name from one of the most deeply despairing (yet beautiful) songs of his career, about a hopelessly dissolving relationship. The song goes, “I’m walking on a wire, and I’m falling,” but when it comes to Thompson’s bountiful catalog and ample talents, that’s hardly the case. 95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.15.09 The Pulse

Free Will Astrology

By Rob Brezsny

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Were you ever a tiger in one of your past lives? If so, this would be an excellent time to tap into that power. If you have never lived the life of a tiger, would you be willing to imagine that you did? During the coming week’s challenges, you will really benefit from being able to call on the specific kind of intelligence a tiger possesses, as well as its speed, perceptivity, sense of smell, charisma, and beauty. Your homework is to spend ten minutes envisioning yourself inhabiting the body of a tiger.

only want to be loved, but that you also want to love? Then learn the fantasies and symbols and beliefs that hold people’s lives together. Be interested in feeling the crushing weight and deep comfort of their web of memories. Every now and then, dive in and swim along in their stream of consciousness. And yes, be willing to accompany them when they’re writhing in their personal hells as well as when they’re exploring the suburbs of paradise. All these tasks will be exceptionally worthy of your time in the coming weeks, Aries.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Your circumstances aren’t as dire as you feared, Scorpio. The freaky monster in the closet is bored with spooking you and will soon be departing the premises. Meanwhile, one of your other tormentors is about to experience some personal sadness that will soften his or her heart toward you. There’s more: The paralysis that has been infecting your funny bone will miraculously cure itself, and the scheduled revelation of the rest of your dirty secrets will be summarily canceled. I hope you’re not feeling so sorry for yourself that you fail to notice this sudden turn in your luck. It may take an act of will for you to wake up to the new dispensations that are available.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Right now you’re like a sulking cherry tree that hasn’t bloomed for years but then inexplicably erupts with pink flowers in mid-autumn. You’re like a child prodigy who lost her mojo for a while and then suddenly recovers it when her old mentor comes back into her life after a long absence. You’re like a dormant volcano that without any warning spurts out a round of seemingly prophetic smoke signals on the eve of a great victory for the whole world.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Jazz music is an intensified feeling of nonchalance,” said playwright Francoise Sagan. Keep that in mind during the coming week, Sagittarius. Whether or not you actually play or listen to jazz, do whatever’s necessary to cultivate intensified feelings of nonchalance. It’s extremely urgent for you to be blithe and casual. You desperately need to practice non-attachment as you develop your ability to not care so much about things you can’t control. You’ve got to be ferociously disciplined as you transcend the worries and irritations that won’t really matter much in the big scheme of things. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “There are two rules for ultimate success in life,” wrote L. M. Boyd. “First, never tell everything you know.” While that may be the conventional wisdom about how to build up one’s personal power, I prefer to live by a different principle. Personally, I find that as I divulge everything I know, I keep knowing more and more that wasn’t available to me before. The act of sharing connects me to fresh sources. Openhearted communication doesn’t weaken me, but just the reverse: It feeds my vitality. This is the approach I recommend to you in the coming days, Capricorn. Do indeed tell everything you know. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Writing in The New Yorker, Adam Gopnik named two characters from literature that well-educated people tend to identify with. “Men choose Hamlet because every man sees himself as a disinherited monarch,” he said, while “women choose Alice [in Wonderland] because every woman sees herself as the only reasonable creature among crazy people who think that they are disinherited monarchs.” That’s a funny thought in light of your current omens, Aquarius, which suggest that you’re a reasonable creature who clearly sees how much you’re like a disinherited monarch. The omens go on to say that there’s a good chance you will have excellent intuition about what to do in order to at least partially restore yourself to power. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Dear Rob: Help! I have a sinking feeling that the man I love and want to be with for the rest of my life is almost but not quite courageous enough to be truly and deeply intimate with me. What should I do? -Downcast Piscean.” Dear Downcast: Ask yourself if there’s anything you can change about yourself that will help him feel braver. For instance, is there any way, however small, in which you’re manipulative, untrustworthy, dishonest, or unkind? If so, fixing that in yourself could allow your lover to feel a lot closer. By the way, it’s an excellent time, astrologically speaking, for all Pisceans to alter their inner states in order to alter the world around them. ARIES (March 21-April 19): You say you not

JONESIN’

By Matt Jones

“What Are The Odds”

–you may be luckier than you think.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Dear Rob: Thanks for being a continued source of careful thinking! With the help of you and the rather ruthless teachers who are my friends and loved ones, I’m learning the lessons that are most important for me to learn—like how rigorous I have to be in figuring out my intentions, how impeccable I have to be with formulating my desires, and how precise I have to be in expressing myself. Sometimes I wish I could just go back to being an aimless street punk in Berkeley. But in the end I prefer this tough path I’ve chosen. — HardWorking Gemini.” Dear Hard-Working: This is an excellent phase in the Gemini life cycle to concentrate on what you named: rigorously figuring out your intentions, impeccably formulating your desires, and expressing yourself precisely. CANCER (June 21-July 22): The British playwright Colley Cibber, who was born 55 years after Shakespeare died, thought that the Bard’s historical drama Richard III needed improvement. He made extensive revisions, transposing scenes and inserting new material. For 150 years, Cibber’s version was widely performed, effectively replacing Shakespeare’s rendition. I suggest you borrow Cibber’s strategy for your own in the coming weeks. Take something you like and personalize it; make it into your own. Be sure to acknowledge the original, of course. But have fun blending your influence with the prototype as you create a useful and amusing hybrid. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The corny but sometimes useful adages of folk wisdom are still being created afresh in the 21st century. Their breeding ground is no longer the tavern or marketplace, as in centuries past, but rather the Internet. I’ve plucked one of these funky gems out of the ethers for you to contemplate: “Noah’s Ark was built by amateurs, while the Titanic was built by professionals.” How exactly does this apply to you? According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re in a phase when a good imagination will count for more than strict logic; when innocent enthusiasm will take you further than know-it-all expertise; and when all the work you do should have a playful spirit fueled by a beginner’s mind. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): To extract enough gold to make a wedding ring, a mining company must process a ton of ore. In a similar way, many writers generate a swamp of unusable sentences on their way to distilling the precise message they really want to deliver. Please keep these examples in mind as you evaluate your own recent progress, Virgo. It may seem like you’re moving at a crawl and producing little of worth. But according to my analysis of the omens, you’re on your way to producing the equivalent of a gold ring. This week’s homework: Compose a prayer in which you ask God or Goddess for something you’re not “supposed” to, then submit it to www.FreeWillAstrology.com.

The Pulse 10.15.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com 95.3 Pulse News

Across 1 Makes babies 7 Organic river pollutant, for short 10 Fundamentals 14 Of the largest artery 15 River through Switzerland 16 Sink rapidly 17 Fake bone, e.g. 18 Alan Ball HBO series, to fans 19 “___ Rock” (Simon and Garfunkel song) 20 Odds of finding one on the first try: 1 in 10,000 23 ___-country (music genre) 24 Barely makes (a living) 25 Odds of hitting the winning jackpot on one: 1 in 16,777,216 30 Pampering place 31 Kama ___ 32 ___ a customer 34 Prefix with morph 35 Odds of being allergic to it: 1 in 230,000,000 37 Grp. that’s kind to pets 41 Linen fabric 43 Destroy skeet 44 Mrs., in Madrid 47 Odds of being one: 1 in 83 50 “Hoo boy, that’s exciting!”

52 “Life ___ Highway” 53 Odds of dying because of it: 1 in anywhere from 200,000 to 500,000 58 Crack container 59 ___ Friday’s (restaurant chain) 60 Heated seats, e.g. 62 Get your groove on? 63 “What did you say?” interjections 64 Stinging plant 65 Short story master 66 NYSE unit 67 Actor Radcliffe Down 1 Spoiled 2 It keeps you covered 3 Cogito follower 4 Dying words to Brutus 5 Miniature box? 6 Charybdis’ counterpart, in Greek myth 7 “Que ___?” 8 Cause of a crash, perhaps 9 Composer Anton 10 Goodbye, to Guillermo 11 Standing ovation cheers 12 Surface, as for air 13 Peloponnesian War side 21 “And the list goes on” abbr. 22 Internet slang system

sometimes written with 3’s 25 Pilot’s heading: abbr. 26 “Star Trek” captain Jean-___ Picard 27 Baseball Hall-ofFamer Mel 28 Medium jogging pace 29 Red Monopoly piece 33 Worker safety org. 35 Nintendo controllers designed for motion 36 When some studiers cram 38 Luau food 39 “___ blimey!” 40 Wolfed down 42 Actor Epps of “A Day in the Life” 43 Component of an edible pod 44 Gets rid of leg stubble 45 Blue “Sesame Street” muppet 46 Word before dog or helicopter 48 Number opposite IX 49 Surname of seven performing siblings 51 Indian state 54 CD-ROM predecessor 55 Bottom-of-env. header 56 ___ Field (Mets ballpark) 57 Thin sheet metal for ornamental decoration 61 “___ blu, dipinto di blu” (“Volare” alternate title)

©2009 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0436

Spirits Within

Best of Carneros: Chardonnay and Pinot Noir By Joshua Hurley

or the last two weeks, Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike has offered blended reds and whites for our “Great Buys of the Week” in The Pulse, where we pick some favorites among our large selection of wine and spirits and share them with our readers. This week, we go back to straight varietals from the California winery Miracle One. Miracle One Winery is located in Carneros (“carneros” is Spanish for “sheep”), a stretch of vineyards located at the northern end of San Pablo Bay (northern section of San Francisco Bay) and including vineyards in both Sonoma and Napa counties. Because of the cooling climate from the bay and fog from the inland area that blankets the acreage, Carneros is classified as Region 1 in climate classification and is similar in climate to the Cote d’Or and the champagne regions in France and the Rhine region in Germany. Also classified as Region 1: Anderson Valley, Edna Valley, Mendocino, Monterey, Napa and Russian River Valley, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz Mountains, and Sonoma. The best grapes grown in Carneros are chardonnay and pinot noir. About one third of these grapes find their way into sparkling wine. Our first pick is Miracle One 2007 Chardonnay.

As mentioned in earlier articles, chardonnay has become the world’s most popular wine, largely due to its easy cultivation in various climates. Carneros Region 1 is perhaps the best area in the entire world to grow great chardonnay. Miracle One is 100 percent chardonnay, and a little higher in alcohol content than most other wines. The grapes are picked from the most premium vineyard in the Carneros region, Sangiacomo. Sixty percent of Miracle One Chardonnay is aged in new French oak, while the remaining 40 percent is placed in neutral French oak, giving this wine a balance that’s a cut above other Carneros chardonnay. Miracle One Chardonnay contains all of the aromas that are true to the chardonnay grape: apple, lemon, tropical fruit, citrus, pineapple and pear. You’ll taste the entire spectrum that this medium-bodied chardonnay offers. With its nose, once again due to its special fermentation, the finish is well balanced with toasted oak. This outstanding world-class chardonnay pairs with all types of food, including white pasta, chicken and seafood dishes. Pinot noir is a red wine not unlike some of the great burgundy wines from France. Pinot noir is thought to have been grown in France for more than 2,000 years—some believe even prior to the Roman invasion. It is estimated that there are more than 1,000 different types belonging to the pinot family of grapes. Some, such as pinot blanc, pinot gris and pinot grigio, have become well known on their own. Pinot noir is as

hard to grow as it is to make wine out of. This is due to its tendency to mutate and its difficult growing requirements (long, cool growing season). Most pinot noir lovers find this to be the most frustrating, because these difficulties produce a quality gap that is broader than any other wine. In fact, some pinot noir is hard to nail down. A young pinot noir could display simple fruit characteristics such as cherries, plums, raspberries, and strawberries. As the wine matures, the range changes, displaying characteristics such as chocolate, figs, prunes, and violets. Pinot noir grows well in the Russian River Valley, Monterey, Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo. Miracle One Pinot Noir 2007 seems to be a miracle of sorts to be sure, containing all of the qualities, with balance, most beloved by all the pinot noir faithful. It displays strong aromas of strawberry, plum, and select vanilla and great bold flavors of cherry, rhubarb and a finish of toasty oak spice and fruit. This wine pairs with lamb, veal, red pasta dishes—even pizzas or hamburgers.

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.15.09 The Pulse

The Terror of The Haunted Hilltop Join me, if you will, on a short walkthrough of what was voted Number One in the Chattanooga area last year as the best haunt around town. You will find no lines at The Haunted Hilltop, which was pleasurable; instead you will find a friendly bonfire, plenty of places to sit, and eerie music playing softly in your ear. Sure, the occasional chainsaw victim comes barreling out of the structure gasping for air, while ensuring their heartbeat reaches a normal 80 beats per minute, and aside from the clown staring at you from the courtyard, it’s really a relaxing place to wait. “Forty-five!” called the attendant. We were chosen out of the rat cage to enter the maze and thrills that make up The Haunted Hilltop. Upon entering, we were greeted by a ghoulish figure in the process of slaughtering a victim on his cutting board. Wonderful actors and believable props made the first few rooms we entered convincingly frightening. Another milestone for this particular haunt is the animatronics, which take a major role in many of the fears they create. While half of the frights came from figures that were believed to be statues, the other half came from the fear of darkness itself. One of my favorite parts of the trip was finding our way out of the dark and spectacular maze, where the only light can be found from your neighbor’s glow-in-the-dark watch. Pressing your hands against the wall feeling for an exit (and after the third dead end), things begin to look hopeless. That is, until you hear the chainsaw. Be sure this year to give The Haunted Hilltop your best go. While refunds will not be found, plenty of scares and ghoulish haunts will be. After the thrills, you can go for a haunted hayride on a tractor to try and relax—but my guess is you’ll find the opposite effect. —Josh Lang Haunted Houses Lodge of Fear $10 (coupon on website) October 16,17, 24, 24, 30, 31. 8 p.m. – Midnight The Ridgedale Lodge, Dodds Ave. Chattanooga, Tennessee www.lodgeoffear.synthasite.com Ruby Falls Haunted Cavern $22 at the door ($20 online) Thursdays to Saturdays (excluding 1 & 8) including 18, 25, 28 8 p.m. – 11 p.m. 1720 South Scenic Highway Chattanooga, Tennessee www.hauntedcavern.com

7 p.m. – late 271 Chattanooga Valley Road Flintstone, Georgia www.thevoodoobayou.com Haunted Hilltop $15 Fridays and Saturdays 7 p.m. – 1 a.m. 8235 Highway 58, Harrison, Tennessee www.thehauntedhilltop.com Haunted Barn $15 (coupon on website) Fridays and Saturdays 7 p.m. – Midnight 5107 McDonald Road Mcdonald, Tennessee thehauntedbarnchattanooga.com

House of Horrors $9 Fridays and Saturdays, additionally 18, 25, and 29. 7 p.m. – Midnight (10 p.m. on Sundays) 140 Edwards Street, Cleveland, Tennessee www.wewillscareyou.com

Haunted CarnEvil : Revenge of the Vampires $20 (includes mini golf and other treats) Fridays and Saturdays, plus the 25, 28, and 29. 7 p.m. – late 5918 Brainerd Road, Chattanooga sirgoonys.com/HCsite/index11.htm

Forest of Fear – Voodoo Bayou $15 Fridays and Saturdays

The Chopping Maul $10 per head ($2 Discounts on Wednesday)

The Pulse 10.15.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com 95.3 Pulse News

October 1 - November 1 Wednesdays to Saturdays 7 p.m. – Midnight Bradley Square Mall Cleveland, Tennessee www.terrortainment.com Haunted House on Broad Street $20 Every Thursday to Sunday 7 p.m. – Midnight 2201 Broad Street Chattanooga, Tennessee hauntedhouseonbroadstreet.com Clown Town $15 Thursdays to Sundays, plus the 26, 27, and 28. 8 p.m. – late Eastgate Town Center Chattanooga, Tennessee www.darksidewrestling.net Enchanted Maize $9 Adults, $7 Kids Thursdays to Sundays Thur: 9 a.m. – 6:30 p.m. Fri: 9 a.m. – 6 p.m. Sat: 10:30 a.m. – 6 p.m. Sun: Noon – 6:30 p.m. 271 Chattanooga Valley Road, Flintstone, Georgia www.enchantedmaze.com Halloween Events Hamilton Place Mall Free Mall Trick or Treating 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd Chattanooga, Tennessee October 31 at 6 p.m. www.hamiltonplace.com Bradley Square Mall Free Mall Trick or Treating 200 Paul Huff Parkway NW Cleveland, Tennessee October 31 at 6 p.m. www.shopbradleysquare.com Northgate Mall Free Mall Trick or Treating 271 Northgate Mall Chattanooga, Tennessee October 31 at 6 p.m. www.visitnorthgatemall.com Spooky Days at Creative Discovery Museum Stories, Cider, and Pumpkin Carving 321 Chesnut Street Chattanooga, Tennessee Every Saturday in October at 3 p.m. Price: $9.95 www.cdmfun.org Halloween Parties BoneYard Boogie Loose Cannon/Contrapasso 1400 Rossville Ave. October 30 at 8 p.m. Over 15 live acts

Costume contests 18 and up $20 in advance, $25 at door 80’s Prom Clue Mystery Party Creative Discovery Museum October 24 at 7 p.m. $50 Monster Bash October 16 and October 17 Free to CDM members, $5 for member guests Buffet $6.95 adults, $4.95 kids RSVP by October 9 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. www.cdmfun.org (423) 756-2738 Midnight Mayhem on the River Southern Belle riverboat October 30 at 10:30 p.m. Proceeds go to Ronald McDonald House $10 plus tax and gratuity Zombies Loose Cannon 1400 Rossville Ave October 16 at 8 p.m. Local DJ’s 8th Annual Fantasy Maze Tennessee Riverpark 4301 Amnicola Highway October 23 & 24 at 6 p.m. $3 per child, adults free Trunk Or Treat Jones Memorial Church 4131 Ringgold Road Chattanooga, Tennessee October 28 from 6:30 p.m. – 8 p.m. Trinity Lutheran Church 5001 Hixson Pike Hixson, Tennessee October 30 from 5:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Valley Baptist 90 Nick A Jack Lane Flintstone, Georgia October 25 from 5 p.m. – 7 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist 3210 Social Circle Chattanooga, Tennessee October 25 from 5 p.m. – 7 p.m. St. Mark United Methodist 701 Mississippi Avenue Chattanooga, Tennessee October 31 from 5 p.m. – 7 p.m. Ooltewah United Methodist Church 6131 Relocation Way Ooltewah, Tennesse October 25 from 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. To add your Halloween event, email the information to info@chattanoogapulse by no later than Monday morning.

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 10.15.09 The Pulse

Ask A Mexican

X Marks the Gabacho By Gusatvo Arellano Dear Mexican, An uninsured wetback just hit my car and totaled his. He had no insurance and no license, but did have a nice cell phone. I asked him if he was okay in my limited Spanish, but he did not ask about me or my children. He was handcuffed and taken away to be booked for one hour to get his real ID. This incident will cost me hundreds of dollars even with my insurance. My insurance company tells me 60% of accidents in California are with uninsured Mexican drivers. Why don’t they just take buses like I did when I couldn’t afford a car? — Stranded with no Rental Insurance Dear Gabacho, Yeah, you really care if the man that rammed into you was okay when you smirk at his cell phone and call him a wetback (and real pronto, readers: please eliminate that word from your Rolodex of Racism. Like “beaner,” it’s so 1950s. Use “wab” or the cooler-sounding Spanish translation, mojado). Cry me a pinche río. Also, your insurance agent no sabe what they’re talking about sobre the figures you provided. The Insurance Research Council’s Uninsured Motorists, 2008 Edition estimated only 18 percent of Californians drive uninsured; the 1998 study, California’s Uninsured,

by the Policy Research Bureau of the California Department of Insurance did determine 35 percent of Latinos had no insurance but didn’t bother to figure out whether they caused the majority of accidents. Both studies showed that the rate of insured drivers in California and the United States had actually increased over the years, so that figure your agent gave you was just to soothe your frayed gabacho ego—it simply has no basis in fact or statistical projections. Finally, with regards to your actual question: uninsured Mexicans drive cars the same reason uninsured non-Mexicans do—the buses are too overcrowded with Mexicans. Dear Mexican, I live outside of Tucson, Arizona, a big city only about 50 miles north of the la frontera. Every year, we celebrate the birthday of the town, and always a major enter of attraction is our dear and famous Spanish mission built by the Padre Eusebio Francisco Kino, a Jesuit extraordinaire of German extraction, along with uncounted native Tohono O’Odam. This mission is named Mission San Xavier. It is always, and I do mean ALWAYS pronounced: San Ha-Veer, very heavy with the H. So, why do teachers who have students with the name Xavier always pronounce it Zay – Vee – Irr? (Or does my question go the other way around)? — Old Native Just Asking

The Pulse 10.15.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com 95.3 Pulse News

Dear Gabacho, For being a self-proclaimed native of the Old Pueblo, you sure are a pendejo. Father Kino was of Italian extraction (though born in the Austrian Empire), and the full name of the mission is San Xavier del Bac, named after Society of Jesus (better known as the Jesuits) founder St. Francis Xavier (so named because he was from the town of Javier in the Basque country). As to your pregunta: you’re just hearing the Spanish and English pronunciations. The English version of the letter x almost always sounds like the letter z at the beginning of words; la letra x at the beginning of Spanish words is almost always aspirated like the letter j. Of course American teachers will pronounce Xavier as Zay-vee-Irr, the same way they turn Guillermo into Billy, but I think the question you have is why the velar fricative took hold for x en Español and not in English. La respuesta: while the English were going through their Great Vowel Shift toward the end of the Middle Ages, los Españoles decided to follow their own route to ensure confusions among future generations of gabachos—just another grievance alongside the Reconquista and uninsured Mexicans, you know? Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, myspace.com/ocwab, find him on Facebook, Twitter, or write via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433.

“Of course American teachers will pronounce Xavier as Zayvee-Irr, the same way they turn Guillermo into Billy, but I think the question you have is why the velar fricative took hold for x en Español and not in English.”