The Pulse - Vol. 7, Issue 2

THE NIM NIMS • CLOSETED THEATER • NO DEMOCRATS?

Electrical

Connections

Phillip Allen chats with RJD2 FREE • News, Views, Arts & Entertainment • January 14, 2010 • Vol. 7 - Issue 2 • www.chattanoogapulse.com • pulse news 95.3 WPLZ

2010

Publisher Zachary Cooper

News Editor Gary Poole Calendar Editor Kathryn Dunn Advertising Manager Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Leslie Dotson, Rick Leavell Leif Sawyer, Townes Webb Art Director Kelly Lockhart Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Staff Photographer Louis Lee Contributing Writers Phillip Allen, Gustavo Arellano Rob Brezsny, Chuck Crowder Kathyrn Dunn, Hellcat Joshua Hurley, Victoria Hurst Matt Jones, Phillip Johnston Kelly Lockhart, Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Stephanie Smith, Alex Teach Colleen Wade Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Copy Assistant Bryanna Burns Online Services Sharon Chambers Contact Info: Phone (423) 648-7857 Fax (423) 648-7860 info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising advertising@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

cover story

11 ELECTRICAL CONNECTIONS

By Phillip Allen We live in a world where music is evolving faster than ever. During my ten years as a music collector and DJ, I have seen countless musical trends come and go. Due to the volatile nature of modern music, it is rare for me to find an artist whose work can remain fresh years after its release.

feature stories 15 EARTH FARE FIGHTS CHILDHOOD OBESITY

By Kathryn Dunn Earth Fare opened in the old Goody’s location in East Brainerd, and in its first month of operations, is already impacting the community in positive ways.

18 THE NIM NIM NATION

By Hellcat The Nim Nims took a few months off this past summer to put together a rather epic second album. I love this band. They are a clever band, with a unique sound and thought-provoking lyrics.

The Pulse is published by

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The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

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Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

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President Jim Brewer, II

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N OK NE ul AN LO C e P A IDE in Th S k

JANUARY

By JPhillip Johnston Great Britain and her citizens value the high drama of their aristocracy in equal measure to how much we Americans value our conquests in war.

24 OUT OF THE CLOSET, INTO THE LIGHT

By Stephanie Smith Magge Hudgins is directing The Little Dog Laughed at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre, a piece of theatre by Douglas Carter Beene that focuses on the struggle that movie stars face when confronted with morality vs. professional advancement under the limelight of celebrity.

news & views 4 5 6 9 14 22 28 30

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PULSE BEATS BEYOND THE HEADLINES SHRINK RAP LIFE IN THE NOOG ON THE BEAT SHADES OF GREEN ASK A MEXICAN

everything else 4 7 7 7 16 19 21 25 26 27 29 29

EDITOON THE LIST POLICE BLOTTER STREET SCENES MUSIC CALENDAR NEW MUSIC REVIEWS NEW IN THEATERS A&E CALENDAR TABLE SERVICE SPIRITS WITHIN JONESIN’ CROSSWORD FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

Cover photo by Mike Sheiber.

Editoon

by Rick Baldwin

Letters to the Editor New Year, New Economy Glad to see the one interview pointing to the effects the out-ofcontrol gas prices had [“A New Year, A New Economy”]. Now tell the politicians about people like me, on a TRUE fixed income with lifetime Workers Comp and no increase in benefit amounts in 19 years. A couple of cost-of-living adjustments sure would be nice.

Patrick Campbell The economy will recover. It might not be in the immediate term like some people are expecting, however the economy always recovers eventually. The government will have to make some tough decisions about where soft and hard dollars will go, and some people will definitely get scorned in the process.

But these times call for very difficult choices to be made by all. My family has been more fortunate than most in that regard, but as each month passes we continue to have to reassess where our dollars are going.

Jody Jordan When will people learn there is no such thing as a “free lunch”.

The government produces nothing,

everything it gives, it took, took from someone that actually produced something. “Took” is really too mild of a word, stolen is a better word.

The out-of-control government debt and spending is sucking the value out of our money. The $100 you had last year is now only worth about $80 and the more the government goes in debt the less your money is going to be worth and the more taxes will increase.

Robbie Wade Tattooing Children I have been tattooing professionally for 19 years [“Tattooed Children Lead To Arrest Of Parents”]. I am absolutely appalled that any parent would do something to their kids, that could shut doors in their children’s faces in the future, by tattooing the hand and wrist area. I have worked hard my entire career to help try and remove the many stigmas associated with tattoos and tattooing in general. Their actions are criminal.

There are laws against what they did for a reason. And ignorance of that law is no excuse.

Tom DePriest

I feel that it is up to the parents whether or not to tattoo children.

I personally know of parents who have tattooed infant multiples in order to identify them after birth.

I do think that they should have used a more sterile technique; I do not think they should have been arrested for this. Yes, they were wrong to not consult the biological mother but that seems to be a family dispute and taxpayers should not be responsible for the jail costs, court costs, and other related expenses.

Dawn Taylor

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Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week: A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“We hope visitors will come and immerse themselves in this exhibit, and hopefully leave with a better appreciation for this endangered species” —Chattanooga Zoo Executive Director Dardenelle Long, after the surprise birth of twin Cottontop Tamarins last week.

Housing Authority Defends Fairmont Avenue Development The Chattanooga Housing Authority is upset over the City Council’s 120day moratorium on new building permits for the proposed Fairmont Avenue public housing development. They’re responding to what they describe as a move designed to delay construction of the 38-unit complex in North Chattanooga.

Naveed Minhas, vice president of development for CHA, said the move could cause CHA to give up a $4.3 million dollar grant as well as construction jobs for Chattanooga residents.

In a statement, the authority said, “CHA continues to believe this site offers public housing residents an opportunity to live in an upscale and growing community where they are offered access to quality schools and other amenities in this vibrant and culturally-rich area. Public housing residents do not have to be relegated to just rundown areas.”

Last week the Chattanooga City Council voted 7 to 2 to place a 120day moratorium on the issuance of new building permits for the Fairmont Avenue site. The resolution also calls for the Planning Commission to take a look at the property and determine the appropriate zoning to protect the public safety and welfare.

“The long-term goal is to have a reasonable and logical development of Fairmont Avenue based on the limitations of the site,” Mayor Ron Littlefield explained. “All I’ve heard so far from the Housing Authority and others is that they have this much money and they want to build as many units as they

can with that money. To me, that’s not a good way to design a development.”

The planned 38-unit housing project has been severely criticized by area residents and many city leaders. Councilmember Manny Rico felt the plan was a throwback to the failed projects of the past, while Councilmember Sally Robinson noted that the current plans go against current HUD guidelines.

Councilmember Andrae McGary, who cast one of the dissenting votes, said he was uncomfortable with the resolution since no one from the Housing Authority was there at the council meeting to tell its side of the story.

Littlefield responded by pointing out that CHA had already “thumbed their noses” at the city by going ahead with the development without any response to many of the concerns about narrow roads, lack of access to services, and population density.

Public Art Goes “On The Fence” On Main Street Public Art Chattanooga is excited to announce the creation of a new program, “On the Fence.” Funded by the Lyndhurst Foundation, On the Fence is a public art competition that aims to enhance the creative, urban side of Chattanooga’s bustling Main Street.

The competition invites local artists, architects, designers, schools, teams and/ or individuals to submit ideas for temporary art installations that will transform and enhance the urban environment along Main Street. Seven chain-link

fences along the Main Street corridor are available for this project.

For full competition details and guidelines, please visit www.onthefencedesign. com or contact Peggy Townsend, Public Art Chattanooga Director, at (423) 6436096.

Chattanooga Tree Commission Honored The Tennessee Urban Forestry Council (TUFC) presented the 2009 Urban Forestry Awards of Excellence at the 18th annual statewide conference, Greening Your Community, held at Lipscomb University in Nashville. The awards are cosponsored by TUFC and the Tennessee Department of Agriculture, Division of Forestry.

The Chattanooga Tree Commission received the Tree Board award. The Commission was noted for their implementation of the Take Root tree-planting program, which planted 600 new trees in the downtown area of Chattanooga using donations and matching grants.

“We’re thrilled to receive this award,” said Gene Hyde, City of Chattanooga Urban Forester. “It is truly reflective of the hard work and dedication of the Tree Commission volunteers who continue to function at a high level.”

The mission of the Tennessee Urban Forestry Council is to serve as an advisory body to promote healthy and sustainable urban and community forests in Tennessee by providing leadership and assistance through education, planning, advocacy and collaboration.

Here is one of the more interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the January 19 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

6. Ordinances – First Reading: a) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, by annexing certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of said city, being Tax Parcel No. 165-001 located on Aetna Mountain Road in Hamilton County, Tennessee, owned

by Black Creek Farms, Inc. d/b/a Aetna Investments, LLC, being more fully described herein.

With all the recent talk about the possibility of merging the City of Chattanooga and Hamilton County into one unified government, brought on in large part by last year’s controversial annexation moves by the city, many people thought the entire annexation issue was over but for the court battles.

Such is not the case; thus the first public hearing being held on the latest expansion attempt, this being Black Creek Farms. However, the difference is that in this case, both property owners of the affected area requested to be brought into the city limits.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agendas, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_ Council/110_Agenda.asp

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Beyond The Headlines

No Democrats In The Third District?

By Stuart James

“With the Republicans slow in fundraising, why are Democrats unable to find a candidate in the third district?”

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emocrats are in disarray in Tennessee’s 3rd Congressional District. Democratic candidates for the open seat in the US House are dropping like flies, and currently, no Democrat is in the race. To add insult to injury, Tennessee’s John Tanner and Bart Gordon, two long-standing members of the U.S. House, announced they are retiring.

Tennessee Democrats are stunned by these retirements.

Zach Wamp is the incumbent in Tennessee’s third congressional district. He is leaving the House to run for governor. The seat is open, with numerous Republicans running. Republican fundraising is lackluster, with no candidate raising enough money to show a strong and well-financed campaign. Compared

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to other candidates running for Congress in Tennessee, the third district candidates’ fundraising is weak, with one candidate loaning his campaign more than $200,000.

Look, for contrast, at Roy Herron. The state senator was a leading candidate for Tennessee governor. When John Tanner announced his retirement from Congress, Herron left the governor’s race, and announced he was running for Congress in the eighth district. After Herron entered the race, he raised more than $475,000 in three weeks—as a Democrat. To show his strong intentions, he loaned his campaign $250,000. He has $675,000 in his campaign war chest.

In the third district race, former Chair of the Tennessee Republican Party Robin Smith, since announcing her candidacy in July 2009, has raised $149,482. Chuck Fleischmann is the fundraising frontrunner, raising $372,198 since he announced his intentions in April 2009. However, Mr. Fleischmann loaned his campaign $265,867. If these figures are correctly reported, Mr. Fleischmann raised $106,331. The other candidates in the race have not broken six figures.

With the Republicans slow in fundraising, why are Democrats unable to find a candidate in the third district? Maybe because this is an open seat in a largely Republican district. However, a Democratic governor carried the district in 2006, so is it possible for a Democrat to win in 2010?

Maybe not—because there is no Democratic candidate. There are, however, some Democrats looking

into the race. One of them is an energetic young city council member from Chattanooga, Andrae McGary.

He appears to be smart, informed, and ready for prime time. He is quick on the draw, and comes up with answers quickly and intelligently. He is often referred to as “Baby Barack”, meaning he appears be following the same path as President Obama, rising quickly from local office to national prominence. However, there are significant chinks in Baby Barack’s armor.

Unlike the president, he does not have a fundraising mechanism in place, and has complained that his election to the city council cost him his job. Unlike Obama, he has not overcome adversity and his complaints about sacrifice in serving the public do not resonate with the voters. He also has made some very unpopular decisions negatively affecting his black voter base. And, he is a black candidate considering a run in a largely white and more conservative district. His Obama-like personality cannot overcome the political reality of the election dynamics in the district.

If this is all the Democrats have, they lose.

So what do the Democrats do?

Democrats need a Roy Herron-like candidate running in the third district; they need a Blue Dog Democrat who can raise more than $400,000 in about three weeks. They need a more conservative Democrat who appeals to the largely moderate Republican and conservative Democratic makeup of the district. Unfortunately, a candidate like McGary, although appealing, does not have the experience or the appropriate vision to pull it all off.

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• Once upon a time, people could leave their homes with the doors unlocked and not worry about a thing.

Those days are, alas, a faint memory in the modern era where people not only lock their doors even when they are home, but also have alarm systems installed. Yet even the best system only works when it is turned on. A couple on North Crest Road apparently forgot to do both—turn on their alarm system and lock their doors—when they went out for a quiet dinner. Sadly, when they returned to their home they discovered someone had taken advantage of their naiveté and gone through their home, stealing a number of items from a basement studio.

• One of the less enjoyable parts of being a police officer is dealing with intoxicated people. Especially when the intoxicated person in question is complaining of having run a “gauntlet of terror” through a downtown neighborhood. What officers referred to as a “very intoxicated” man on South Broad Street told them he had been chased by

a pack of dogs, had bricks thrown at him, and had a spotlight shined on him while someone told him to “get out of here”. Yet when officers went to the neighborhood in question, they could find no evidence of dog packs, thrown bricks, spotlights or angry neighbors.

The man was advised to avoid the area in the future. It probably wouldn’t hurt if maybe he laid off the sauce for a while, too.

• What do you do with half of a $100 bill? That’s the question facing one rather inept thief after he tried to relieve a woman of the bill in question inside a convenience store on Hamill Road. The woman told police that she was waiting in line when a tall man with dreadlocks walked up and tried to snatch the bill from her hand. He missed in his first attempt, and when he tried again she hung on so tightly that all he was able to get away with was one half of the coveted C-note. The man ran out of the store with half of his goal in hand, and is currently being sought by police based on surveillance footage from the store.

• One of the most popular ways people have of relieving the stress of

Chattanooga Street Scenes

Ten Supremely Odd English Words

everyday life is having a romantic liaison with another person. It is advisable, though, to restrict said romantic activities to someplace a bit less public than the hood of a car in the middle of a parking lot. Police were called out on a report of a pair of lovebirds who were apparently getting hot and heavy on the hood of a Mustang. However, when an officer arrived, he found the pair was fully clothed. The man did admit that he and his female partner had been making out, saying that he was trying to “relieve some pressure”.

The officer suggested that the amorous pair continue their “love connection” back at the man’s apartment.

Photography by Louis Lee

Frozen waterfall just off Scenic Hwy on the Ochs Hwy Extension

1. Erinaceous - Like a hedgehog 2. Lamprophony - Loudness and clarity of voice 3. Depone - To testify under oath 4. Finnimbrun - A trinket or knick-knack 5. Floccinaucinihilipilification - Estimation that something is valueless.

6. Inaniloquent - Pertaining to idle talk 7. Limerance - An attempt at a scientific study into the nature of romantic love.

8. Mesonoxian - Pertaining to midnight 9. Mungo - A dumpster diver; one who extracts valuable things from trash 10. Nihilarian - A person who deals with things lacking importance.

Historically, English originated from several dialects, now collectively termed Old English, which were brought to the British Isles by Anglo-Saxon settlers beginning in the 5th century. English was further influenced by the Old Norse language of Viking invaders.

At the time of the Norman Conquest, Old English developed into Middle English, borrowing heavily from the Norman (AngloFrench) vocabulary and spelling conventions. Modern English developed with the “Great Vowel Shift” that began in 15thcentury England, and continues to adopt foreign words from a variety of languages, as well as coining new words.

In fact, English has been described as a language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary.

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Shrink Rap

By Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D

On a Word and a Prayer U

sually, when someone discusses wellness, the topic will include physical fitness and the importance of a commitment to exercise. Or perhaps nutrition and learning to eat smart. Sometimes the focus is on wellness through yoga, meditation, and massage therapies. Relationships and partnerships can stay well through counseling and support groups. A person’s spiritual universe is also a vital ingredient to staying happy, healthy, and well.

Developing a sense of connectedness to all things, and a relationship to your higher power, and the higher power within you, makes up that universe. There are certainly many ways to discuss wellness.

All of which begins with thought.

As we’ve discussed in this column before, thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, actions create your life, your reality. And this is why what we think and how we speak is so very important. Your thoughts plant the seeds for your life. The words you use bring those thoughts a step closer to reality. Your thoughts and words affect your behaviors, consciously and unconsciously.

Or as Winston Churchill put it, “You create your reality as you go along.”

For example, if you think, “I’m a loser.” And you say, “I’m a loser.”

Guess how you’ll act? Like a loser.

But if you think, “I’m a wise and

compassionate person.” Or, “Today I’m all about giving and receiving love.” Then you’re going to interact with your world very differently.

Like-minded others will be drawn to you, and the result is that all this good stuff you’re sending outward will come right back to you and surround you. Abundantly.

I’m a big believer in the idea of using a word (or phrase) to kick off your new year of well-being and growth. At the beginning of the year, when others are making “resolutions,” you can use your word or phrase to state your “intentions,” which are an on-going, deeper way to positively address the kind of person you wish to become. Intentions are about who you want to be, not just about something to do.

For instance, a resolution might go something like this: “I will lose 20 pounds,” while an intention might state: “I am becoming a person who is vigilant about my health and wellness.” You see the difference?

One is a task that you may or may not stick with, and the other is a commitment to personal growth. The weight loss will take care of itself as you focus on the bigger issue of how to best spend your energy for selfimprovement.

So you might begin this year’s wellness journey by asking yourself: What do I need to work on?

Relationships…success…health… family…spirituality…parenting… singledom…happiness? Then allow a word or phrase into your mind each morning. Write it down. Keep it in the front of your brain, and see how your day goes. An inspiring word can really help focus your thoughts and

keep you committed to your path.

Need some suggestions to get started? Strength. Humor. Trust myself. Healthy mind and body.

Today I am sober. Vigilance.

Kindness. Stay present. Faith.

Breathe.

Speaking of inspiring words, lately I’ve been reading about meditation and prayer in different cultures, and how our thoughts and words create the climate, and indeed the power, of prayer. All spiritualities pray or meditate in some form. I want to share with you some thoughts about prayer by Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk, scholar, poet, human rights activist, author of more than 60 books, and Nobel Peace Prize nominee (nominated by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.) In his book, The Energy of Prayer, he says, “When we pray and meditate with our focus on compassion, when our heart is full of love, then we are creating more love in the world. When we send this love and compassion outward, this is truly prayer.”

He goes on to talk about the energy created by our thoughts: “Everything arises from the mind.

From this powerhouse we call mind, we can change the world. We change it by means of a real energy that we ourselves have created. This is the most effective way of prayer.”

Food for thought for the New Year.

Until next time: “May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

“When we pray and meditate with our focus on compassion, when our heart is full of love, then we are creating more love in the world. When we send this love and compassion outward, this is truly prayer.”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and is the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Contact him online at www.drrph.com

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Cover Story

By Phillip Allen

“ RJ has the uncanny ability to construct amazingly deep stories—with or without a vocalist—by pulling in samples from a variety of sources.”

Electrical Connections RJ has the uncanny ability to construct amazingly deep stories—with or without e live in a world where music is a vocalist—by pulling in samples from evolving faster than ever. During my ten a variety of sources. His sampling and years as a music collector and DJ, I have seen countless musical trends come and go. composition skills never cease to amaze Due to the volatile nature of modern music, me. I would often find myself listening to it is rare for me to find an artist whose work an RJD2 track, searching for the original can remain fresh years after its release. The sample—then having my mind blown by list of musicians that have reached this level his creativity. This mastery of the art of sampling is what made his first two albums is short, but RJD2 is right at the top. on Definitive Jux (Def Jux), Deadringer I first came across RJD2’s music in 2001 (2002) and Since We Last Spoke (2004), with his track “June,” featuring the MC critically acclaimed classics.

Copywrite. The first thing that struck me During his tenure with Def Jux, he released about his music was its narrative quality.

W

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Cover Story a myriad of collaborations and singles, a number of which have been licensed to various TV shows, movies and commercials. One example is a short edit of “A Beautiful Mine” that can be heard on the intro to the AMC show Mad Men. While RJD2 was regarded as one ne of underground hip-hop’s best producers, cers, he decided to switch gears in his career. In 2006, 06, he joined the indie label XL Recordings, where ere he released The Third Hand the following year. r. For him, this album was a departure from sample-based le-based hiphop. The Third Hand saw RJ begin in to flex his musical muscles as a formally trained ned musician.

He became a one-man band, playing ng all of the instruments on his album.

He also introduced a lesser-known talent: his singing ability. While this his transition was the antithesis of his former work, one thing remained constant, his dedication to genrebending music.

If there is anything more amazing ng than his albums, it’s his live show.

To recreate his studio albums onstage, RJD2 harnesses the power of turntables, a sampler, analog synths, hs, drums, and guitar. He commonly will switch out with other members rs of his live band, playing a differentt instrument on each song. He performs his tracks with robot-likee efficiency, but with a passionate care re that is all so human. It is the perfect ct marriage of analog and digital.

Leading up to his current tour, RJD2 has completed a new album,, The Colossus, that will be released d on his label RJ’s Electrical Connections ns January 19. I was able to catch up with the sonic trailblazer via e-mail for a bit of insight into his production career, methods, and influences.

perspective on what is and isn’t effective, from a production standpoint. It also forced me to listen to the arrangements of a song, and become very familiar with that kind of technical approach.

Which are all good things.

MC? RJ: It really can change within that paradigm.

Some songs would be more of a traditional layout, say if it has a big vocal sample or Other things would be a more something. Othe “linear” arran arrangement, with no repeating parts. that style is that you can approach it The fun of tha different ways. a number of d PA: In 200 2007, you released the album The on XL Recordings. That album Third Hand o was not only a departure from Def Jux, but you for live instrumentation in lieu of also opted fo samples. A new element was also added to your voice. What influenced this the mix: yo new direction in your music? n RJ: It was a combination of issues: is 1. I couldn’t afford to be that 1 whimsical about what I was w sampling. sa 2 2. I had spent a long time by then trying to build a working studio. tr 3. I found just using a sampler 3 quite limiting. q PA: You also went to music sc school, where you studied composition. How has the formal co training assisted you as you began tr to include more instrumentation?

RJ: Well, the obvious aspect is that I know how to voice chords, th aand build a progression, and all that nuts-and-bolts stuff. Having th th that fundamental layer is really h helpful, even when I’m working on getting two samples in the same key, get or not to clash at least.

PA: What is your process for tran translating your songs to live vers versions?

R RJ: I first look at whether there is particular TONE that is critical to a pa the song if it’s sample-based. If so, it sh should probably stay as a sample.

If th the rest of the song can become live live, then great. If not, then it stays in turntable/MPC (sampler) world.

Other things, like the live songs, you just learn em and drill em!

PA: Considering you have made the transition to more live elements in your show, what role do you think DJs play in the music world?

RJ: They are the upper class of the touring musician world! Seriously, not myself included, I look at today’s big DJs, or even guys with laptops, and they play huge shows—way bigger than mine—and it’s a dude just playing other people’s music. I find it interesting.

PA: So, you have your fourth solo studio album The Colossus dropping January 19 on your new label RJ's Electrical Connections. What was the initial motivation to start your own label?

“To recreate his studio albums on-stage, RJD2 harnesses the power of turntables, a sampler, analog synths, drums, and guitar.”

h Phillip Allen: You cut your teeth as a DJ in Columbus, Ohio. Whatt was the scene like there?

RJD2: Small, insular. It was cool, though; everybody kind of knew everybody, so it was a fun time in my life.

PA: You also began your production career in Columbus with the hip-hop group MHz. How did you get connected with them?

RJ: I won this DJ battle in 1997, and it made them aware of me. Shortly after, I wound up on a bill with them. Their DJ didn’t show up, so I DJ'd for them, and we just fell in with each other after that. They were really at the top echelon of the Columbus scene at the time.

PA: How did your background as a DJ affect your approach to music production?

RJ: It completely rewrote how I listened to and approached music. It gave me a much better

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PA: Your early albums were very diverse in sample selection. Was there a particular method to your madness while crate digging?

RJ: Yes. Dollar bins! It was—and still is—all about taking home the most amount of recorded material possible, because it makes finding usable sounds that much more likely. Sheer quantity, really.

PA: In 2002, you released your debut album Deadringer on Definitive Jux (Def Jux). With the exception of three tracks, it was primarily instrumental hip-hop. How do you approach a song when you are producing sans

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Cover Story

“I first look at whether there is a particular tone that is critical to the song if it’s sample-based. If so, it should probably stay as a sample.”

RJ: Again, multifold: 1. I needed a way to reissue my catalog.

2. I wanted to control the process of the release. 3. I wanted to own the masters to this record.

PA: While listening to the snippets online, the new tracks seem somewhere in-between your early sample-based work and the instrumentation on The Third Hand. What can we look forward to on The Colossus?

RJ: A little of everything I’ve done: sample-based music, live instrumentals, live vocals, other singers, and MCs. PA: Why the name The Colossus? What was your influence for the album?

RJ: It came from the video game Shadows of the Colossus. It just started to seem appropriate.

PA: Are there any interesting stories from the production of the new album? Such as a time you were stuck on the direction of a track and had an “aha!” moment?

RJ: I guess the big ones were when I got back “The Shining Path” and “Games You Can Win” from Phonte and Kenna, respectively. I was like “OK, these are great, and I’ve broken the back of this record.”

PA: How many new songs have

you added to your live act?

RJ: Maybe six or seven? I'm also doing “A Beautiful Mine” and “True Confessions”, two older songs.

PA: Where else do you get inspiration for your songs?

RJ: Books. Ideas. Conversations.

Jim Henson.

PA: What are some acts you are listening to at the moment?

RJ: Foreign Exchange, Mastodon, Weather Report.

PA: You currently have a single out titled “Games You Can Win” featuring Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter Kenna. Do you have any other interesting collaborations in the works?

RJ: Well, the main ones are all the ones on the record. I’m also working on a record with Aaron Livingston, who is a local Philly singer I formed a group with. I hope to have that record out in the next year!

Catch RJD2 live with support from The Constellations and Happy Chichester at Rhythm & Brews Monday January 18. Presales are $10 from TicketBiscuit.com and $12 at the door. Don’t miss the show of the year!

Previews for his new album can be heard at www. rjselectricalconnections.com 95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

13

Life In The Noog

By Chuck Crowder

The Right Stuff I

n my pants pockets at this very moment, as always, are three things and three things only: my car keys, iPhone and wallet. With those three vital tools alone, I can control my entire universe.

Clear entry into transportation and housing. E-mail, text and voice communication with anyone I can imagine. Access to the wonderful free-flowing information on the Internet. A virtual notepad, MP3s of my favorite music and digital photos of my family and friends— plus a digital camera to take more.

Credit and debit purchasing power, a driver’s license, AAA protection, insurance coverage and business cards just in case I meet a potential client. I even have postage stamps, a bottle opener and potentially up to $10 in cash at any given moment.

All of this can be found neatly tucked within three of my four pants pockets.

Why then, would anyone need to haul around anything else? Business people need briefcases I suppose. But you can tell those who really need a bag, and those who just carry one to dupe their bosses into believing that they actually plan to continue working after a short break to eat dinner and watch Lost.

Hipsters carry around backpacks and man bags. Some want you to believe that they are mysteriously homeless or might have to bolt for days on end at any given moment.

I’m pretty sure those useless parcels contain one or more of the following:

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a flannel shirt, a filthy toothbrush, a spiral notebook (with drawings and poetry), a packet of loose cigarette tobacco and papers, a striped-sleeve polyester jogging jacket and/or army jacket with at least one Black Flag and/or Ramones button proudly pinned on the collar and a dog-eared copy of Naked Lunch, On The Road and/or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

However, nothing can prepare the male of the species for that mysterious black hole known as the female handbag. For it’s this fashion accessory full of random stuff that is likely the most puzzling combination of swag known to humankind.

First off, please refer back to the first two paragraphs. All of those handy conveniences can also be found in the female purse. However, ladies require the storage volume of a small piece of luggage for those things to in any way be “portable”.

Take women’s keys. They don’t just have a car key and house key on a simple ring. They have a carabineer that’s hooking together at least eight rings of keys to every lock they’ve ever had access to and fobs from every vacation destination they’ve ever visited—plus a bottle opener, mace can and rape whistle. It’s a tangled mess of metal weighing in at no less than two pounds.

Then there’s the wallet.

Checkbook size with at least ten credit cards, a copy of every financial document they’ve received in the last six months plus coupons and gift cards for a few more. And if that’s not enough, covering up the iPhone or Blackberry they must check every

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five seconds, lay the other sundries a woman requires in order to leave the house—make-up bag, hair brush, digital camera, photo album, sunglasses, other pair of sunglasses, glasses, hair clip, lip gloss and of course, gum.

The fact that oversized purses are now the fashion should seemingly make it easier for a woman to keep up with all of these items. Nothing doing. Even with this functional nap sack for their stuff, a woman can still go out for a night on the town and lose roughly half of their belongings over the course of the evening.

Because when your primary concern is how you look dancin’ on a speaker with a shot in each hand, you tend to forget about where any of your stuff is at any given moment.

A guy can do a quick “pocket pat” to make sure that phone, wallet and keys are on board.

A woman, however, will separate her most vitally important, lifesustaining items into other people’s pockets, the bar table, under the bar table, the bar table over there, the bar, her car, your car, the first and last place you visited and/or the couch cushions where you were making out with her (but didn’t make it past second base before she passed out).

Then when morning comes and sobriety kicks in, she’ll immediately panic and surmise that her lack of reason during the night makes you accountable for helping her find all of this stuff which NOW seems so important to locate. And guys just go along with it, because that’s our job.

But hey, we’d all be lost without our “stuff,” now wouldn’t we?

“Nothing can prepare the male of the species for that mysterious black hole known as the female handbag. For it’s this fashion accessory full of random stuff that is likely the most puzzling combination of swag known to humankind.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website www.thenoog.com

The Art Of Business

By Kathryn Dunn

Earth Fare Fights Childhood Obesity O

n December 9, 2009, Chattanooga welcomed Earth Fare—the healthy supermarket. Earth Fare opened in the old Goody’s location in East Brainerd, and in its first month of operations, is already impacting the community in positive ways.

When Earth Fare first opened in North Carolina in 1975, it began to pave the way in offering the best-tasting local, natural and organic foods available. Earth Fare was the first to market glutenfriendly products; it also set precedent in becoming the first supermarket in the U.S. to ban added transfats, which have been implicated in serious diseases, including cardiovascular ailments and heart disease.

Ever mindful of emerging health issues, Earth Fare recently became the only major supermarket chain in the United States to also ban high-fructose corn syrup, which has been linked to non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and insulin resistance. Earth Fare has the most extensive list of banned ingredients of any national supermarket chain.

Though this presence in the organic food industry makes Earth Fare impressive, each one of its 17 locations in four states across the Southeast also chooses to focus on making healthy eating easy, affordable and enjoyable. Nearly every shelf along the aisles features special “Fare Deals,” highlighting local vendors or Earth Fare’s own private label on everyday staples. From ranchers to vegetable growers, from three-acre tomato farms to thousand-acre bison farms, Earth Fare’s vendors include those from within a half-day’s drive to the storefront with Sale Creek Honey, Haze &

Company Salad Dressing, Tennessee Best Jam and Jellies, Sparkman’s Dairy and specialty lettuces and herbs from Lee and Gordon Greens. With the rise of industrial farming, there has never been a more critical time to support neighboring family farms, and during the summer months, almost 50 percent of Earth Fare’s produce comes from local farmers, ensuring continued economic growth throughout the community.

Throughout its years, Earth Fare has restructured its company to reach out to the community in ways not yet seen in the Chattanooga market, through a variety of seminars and demonstrations in-store and out and about in the community. Not only can you bring in name-brand peanut butter, soda, cereal and jelly to trade in for a free healthier alternative through Earth Fare’s Pantry Makeover, each store also has a dedicated Community Relations Coordinator to oversee programming and initiatives unique to Earth Fare; most notably in the cause of eliminating childhood obesity.

The Friend of Earth Fare program donated more than $300,000 to local organizations last year while reducing the use of paper and plastic bags.

Community Relations Coordinator Abby Shipley explains, “The Friend of Earth Fare is a nonprofit organization that strives to fight childhood obesity.

Each time a customer remembers to bring in a bag to reuse for their purchase instead of taking another paper or plastic one, Earth Fare donates 5 cents per bag to the Friend of Earth Fare to help them in their endeavors over the three-month partnership.”

Earth Fare launches a new initiative to reach out to the youngest members of the community next month. “The mission of the Itty Bitty Bites program is ‘to eliminate childhood obesity in the markets we serve’. I

“Throughout its years, Earth Fare has restructured its company to reach out to the community in ways not yet seen in the Chattanooga market.”

will visit area schools and teach children of all ages the importance of healthy eating habits through comic books featuring Earth Fare heroes and dreaded villains, in order to share the importance of the foods we choose to consume. Through Itty Bitty Bites, we are determined to eliminate childhood obesity one bite at a time,” Shipley says. Each student will then receive a coupon for a free healthy meal, which is planned to launch March 1. Each Healthy Meal will cost less than $4 without the coupon. Itty Bitty Bites will kick off at East Ridge Elementary School and Brown Academy in early March.

It is this focus on the community that Shipley believes will set Earth Fare apart from others long after its grand opening. “The community is extremely important to Earth Fare and our goal has always been the same: ‘to feed and inspire the healthy person inside us all.’ The major difference now is that we are also working with community leaders to help eliminate childhood obesity as well, which we will do through the Itty Bitty Bites program.”

Earth Fare is now accepting proposals for its second-quarter Friend of Earth Fare beginning this April and scheduling schools for the Itty Bitty Bites program. Please e-mail Abby Shipley at cha420community@earthfare.com for more information.

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

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Music Calendar Thursday Spotlight

Discoteca Only live, vinyl, cassette and 8-track sounds allowed at the newest dance dive. $5 9 p.m.

Discoteca, 304 E. Main Street

Thursday, Jan. 14 MoonSlew, Super Plan B, and Slim Pickins 7 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay Street, (423) 755-9111. www.lindsaystreethall.com The Crimson Armada, In the Midst of Lions, Sleep Serapis Sleep, Creation, Colossus 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Georgia Scruff Band 7:30 p.m. Northshore Grille, 16 Frazier Ave. (423) 757-2000. www.northshoregrille.com Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Open Mic 8 p.m. The Riverhouse, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Brian Ashley Jones 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Nathan Farrow 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Karaoke 9 p.m. Images Showbar & Cabaret, 6500 Lee Hwy. www.imagesbar.com The Christian Collier 7 9 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestaurant.com Casey Adams Band with Doghouse Roses 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

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Friday Spotlight

DJ ScubaSteve Fox and Hound Pub & Grille, 2040 Hamilton Place Blvd., #150. (423) 490-1200.

DJ Lucky Lucky’s, 2536 Cummings Highway, (423) 825-5145.

Friday, Jan. 15 Uncle Lightnin 6 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Live Jazz 7 p.m. Blue Orleans on Market, 1463 Market St. (423) 629-8080. www.blueorleansdowntown.com Undying Darkness, more 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Booker Scruggs Ensemble 7:30 p.m. The Original Blue Orleans Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538.

Thaddeus, Every Word a Prophecy, To Bow or To Burn, and When We Escape 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market Street (423) 757-0019. www.clubfathom.com Inviolate, Prologic 13, Afterlife 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 634-1074. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Jubal Lee Young 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. www.christunity.org Walt Meyer Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775. www.chattanooganhotel.com Lazor Sword, Shweez, Uneasy Listening, and Entheogen 9 p.m. 412 Market, 412 Market Street. www.jmjproductions.com Karaoke 9 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestaurant.com

Karaoke 9 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Drive (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com Inanimate Tragedy and The Sediment 9 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

The Machine: Performs Pink Floyd 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Underhill 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com The Nim Nims, The Tammys 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Baadd Mojo 10 p.m. T-Bones Sports Café, 1419 Chestnut Ave. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com Live Music 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com DJ Spicolli Raw Sushi Bar Restaurant & Nightclub, 409 Market Street, (423) 756-1919.

DJ GOP The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202, (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Saturday, Jan. 16 Benefit for Marsha Moss featuring Overland Express and Friends 6 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Wavorly, Jordan Hallquist, I Anthem, The Red Door, Stellate 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Stria, Show The Fight, Rizer, and more

The Nim Nims, The Tammys Two top local bands launch into 2010 at JJ’s. $7 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market Street (423) 757-0019. www.clubfathom.com Self Containd Suicide, Surreal, Sturgeons Revalation, Method X, and Back Seat Bingo 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 634-1074. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Karaoke 8 p.m. Rhapsody Café, 1201 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-3093. myspace.com/rhapsodycafe Walt Meyer Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775. www.chattanooganhotel.com Nora Jane Struthers and the Lost Boys 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. www.christunity.org DJ at the Palms 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Mellow Down Easy 9 p.m. Angelo’s, 810 Stuart Road NE, Cleveland, TN. (423) 473-1799 Open Mic Night 9 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestaurant.com New Binkley Brothers, Citico, Joe Decosimo 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Cadillac Saints 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com

Music Calendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Saturday Spotlight

Merrybellies 5th Annual Belly Dance Showcase Join the Desert Sirens, Corpsewax Dollies, Gems of the Oasis and Mermaids for a shakin’ evening. $8 advance, $10 at door 7 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Avenue (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Bounty Hunter 10 p.m. T-Bones Sports Café, 1419 Chestnut Ave. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com DJ Spicolli Raw Sushi Bar Restaurant & Nightclub, 409 Market Street, (423) 756-1919.

DJ GOP The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Sunday, Jan. 17 Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. myspace.com/debbieslounge Rick Rushing and Blues Strangers 6:30 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestaurant.com The John Cowan Band 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Avenue.

(423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Junkyard Road 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 634-1074. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Open Mic 8 p.m. Gene’s Bar & Grill, 724 Ashland Terrace, (423) 870-0880. myspace.com/genem14

Sunday Spotlight

Georgia Scruff Band 9:30 p.m. Northshore Grille, 16 Frazier Ave. (423) 757-2000. www.northshoregrille.com All You Can Eat Comedy Show 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia DJ GOP The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Monday, Jan. 18 Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Rick Rushing and Blues Strangers Acoustic Set 6:30 p.m. Pasha Coffee House, 3914 St. Elmo Avenue, (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com

Speak Easy Poetry and Spoken Word Open Mic 8 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestaurant.com The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Tuesday, Jan. 19 The Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th Street, (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Billy Hopkins & Friends 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Spoken Word/Poetry Night 8 p.m. The Riverhouse, 224 Frazier Avenue, (423) 752-0066.

Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. Northshore Grille, 16 Frazier Ave. (423) 757-2000. www.northshoregrille.com

Editor’s Pick of the Week

Junkyard Road Death metal meets country meets Southern rock. Uh oh. $5 8 p.m.

Ziggy’s Hideaway.

607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 634-1074. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway

Open Mic 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Karaoke 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com The Nightmare Riverband 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia DJ ScubaSteve Fox and Hound Pub & Grille, 2040 Hamilton Place Blvd., #150, (423) 490-1200. www.tentcorp.com DJ GOP The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202, (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Wednesday, Jan. 20

RJD2 with Constellations and Happy Chichester Skateboard culture icon RJD2 rolls in Rhythm & Brews with his raps, rhymes, and turntables. Look for a big turnout to see a name some have grown up with. (See cover story.)

Monday, January 18 $10 advance, $12 at door 10 p.m.

221 Market Street, (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Fried Chicken 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Channing 9 p.m. Northshore Grille, 16 Frazier Ave. (423) 757-2000. www.northshoregrille.com DJ GOP The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

17

Music Feature

The Nim Nim Nation

By Hellcat

“I’m the King of Stories Not Worth Mentioning, so you must be the Queen of Listening/ Somehow you find me still quite interesting/ Sometimes I think you should rethink some things.”

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T

he Nim Nims took a few months off this past summer to put together a rather epic second album. I love this band. They are a clever band, with a unique sound and thought-provoking lyrics.

Due to the early deadlines of the holidays, I was not able to give The Nim Nims a full write up, nor did I review the CD Patten Towers. You should all know by now that a Nim Nim deserves more than that, and five Nim Nims—well, let’s just say that you don’t want to mess with an angry gaggle of Nim Nims. So I will set the record straight right here, right now.

First off, the title won me over. I have to admit that it makes my Chattanoogan blood warm whenever a local place is immortalized in an album or song. The CD case has pictures of Patten Towers for the cover and the back as well. Yay, Chattanooga. The first song on the album is called “Missionary”. The song starts with a deep swamp sound, with rebel rock around the edges. I like this song because it fearlessly points out the hypocritical constructs of some religion.

“All those Pagan rituals are from barbaric fools/ Come with me now and I’ll dunk your head in a pool/ So sure, I’m right that I don’t need any proof/ and if I need some advice/ I won’t be asking no humans.”

I think this is spot-on, but then again, I love anything

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controversial. The second song is called “King”, which takes on a more Shins vs. Built to Spill feel to it and houses some of my favorite lyrics.

“I’m the King of Stories Not Worth Mentioning, so you must be the Queen of Listening/Somehow you find me still quite interesting/Sometimes I think you should rethink some things.”

How delightfully self-deprecating, yet slightly romantic. It makes me want to wear a V-neck.

Song three, “Dead Sober”, is a very powerful song driven by more of that sweet bayou rhythm. It confronts head-on the frustrations of dealing with an addict, and contemplating giving up on them. “You’ll be dead when you’re sober/But you won’t be sober ‘til you’re over,” is one of the pounding repetitions in the chorus. “I should feel guilty, thinking I had no part/ And I should feel guilty for not feeling guilty.” I personally have had this exact thought, and could relate to the guilt of not feeling guilt when society tells you that you most certainly should feel guilty. It names our towers in relation to the high of a cocaine addict: “If those shoes are made of powder, won’t you jump off Patten Towers?” It’s a very potent song that most people could relate to but truly wish they couldn’t. Listening to the song may in fact make you feel guilty for liking it so much.

The fourth song makes the listener think there could be a possible theme going on, with “Pills” being the title. This song is complex and heavy with truth, the words being equally as intense as the layering. It delves into

the realness of a severely medicated world and the consequences of medicinal technologies, and questions if it’s all really necessary. It has an early Modest Mouse tone to it, which is the only Modest Mouse tone worth having.

The song begins with, “These pills, they keep me calm, but then they keep me awake/You got pills that put you to sleep, maybe that’s what I should take/Then I can’t get back up, all day I’m frustrated/Better living through modern chemistry starts to frustrate/I think they got a pill for that.”

The vicious and addictive cycle of the quick-fix solution to just medicate. If this is a dose of reality, then I’ll take two. Song five, entitled “Vindicated” is gorgeously structured, so much is going on in the background with the music and effects that it illustrates the haunting story with sound. It’s one of those song stories where you almost feel like you are there. If saying that makes me sound like a hippie, well, so be it. Listen and you’ll understand, man.

“Not Bad” follows with a tempotraveling, heavy, indie-rock sound, reminiscent of Dixie Dirt, which is a complimentary comparison for me to make and mean.

“Words” revisits the sound of Modest Mouse but only if Bright Eyes joined the band and Isaac sobered up. This is the kind of song you should learn from, kids. Self-awareness is good; I’m a fan. Next, is “Blowfish.” if Lenny Kravitz and The Cure were in a dorm together, their band would probably sound like this, and I would probably book them at my next kegger.

“Lemmings” is my favorite song on the album, as it is full of the familiar “get on the dance floor” mojo that made me get into The Nim Nims to begin with and it doesn’t even have the cowbell. It deals with the horrible truth of growing up and becoming a cookie-cutter, blue-collar worker, while making you dance around like you finally accepted it. Impressive. “Picture” is what it promises and “Narcissistic Delight” describes the exact reason I don’t go to bars in chain restaurants.

The Nim Nims, The Tammys Friday, January 15 $7 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

New Music Reviews John Zorn Femina (Tzadik)

“The turbulent moments perforate, using an assortment of sounds like clattering percussion or vocal outbursts.”

RJD2 The Colossus (RJ’s Electrical Connections) The satirical paper The Onion once ran an article entitled “Nation’s Rappers Down to Last Two Samples” (which happened to be “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” and “Mr. Roboto”), and while this, of course, is a huge exaggeration, it does bring to mind the struggle of the crate digger. Ramble John Krohn, better known as RJD2, is one of the more prominent members of a current breed of hip-hop vinyl crate diggers,

Composer John Zorn provides an aural, condensed Women’s History Month on Femina, using an allwoman six-piece ensemble, but the women being honored aren’t ones that might immediately come to mind. Instead, Zorn selects several artists and notables on the cultural fringes—true iconoclasts who pushed boundaries on one or more levels.

Among the women cited who inspired this project are musicians Yoko Ono and Meredith Monk, artists Louise Bourgeois and Frida Kahlo, writers Hélène Cixous and Dorothy Parker, and figures such as the moon-god high priestess En Hedu’Anna and the infamous emasculating (literally), homicidal nymphomaniac Abe Sada.

On Femina, Zorn employs his “file card” technique, used previously on such quasi-portrait, faux soundtrack works like “Spillane” and “Godard” (tributes to the novelist and filmmaker, respectively), where his music is arranged using a sequence of note cards, each with a different musical idea on it; this form tends to result in music with abrupt changes, akin to Godard’s cinematic jump cuts.

Laurie Anderson provides the spoken introduction, saying “Woman of truth, astronomer, magician, priestess with a tablet of lapis lazuli, she measures off the heavens”; what follows is a number of cycles, alternating between serene passages and wildly chaotic ones. In “Part One,” a piano pattern and string harmonics mesh with electronic sounds from Ikue Mori; halfway through, disorder emerges, and a scream is heard in the background, leading to quick starts and stops, harp

runs, and wilting notes.

The turbulent moments perforate, using an assortment of sounds like clattering percussion or vocal outbursts. The Gertrude Stein poem “A Petticoat” is recited in “Part Three” before a cacophony and a crashing piano chord cluster, and the final track is “End Titles,” implying that the listeners have just experienced a movie; it serves as a cool-down section, with a melody placed in unison on harp and metallophone.

Any Zorn fan is all too familiar with his violent, jump-cut style, and Femina is basically Zorn being Zorn, so the cycles of order/disorder fail to surprise. However, the ensemble pieces work well to make a complex patchwork—a simple, unified statement about feminine creativity would be inadequate, so Zorn appropriately leaves it complicated.

— Ernie Paik

who are constantly searching for those elusive killer, yet-unused samples—not just funky breakbeats, but distinctive instrumental snippets. His most widely heard song is likely “A Beautiful Mine,” a portion of which is used as the opening theme song for the TV show Mad Men, and its killer sample is taken from an Enoch Light rendition of “Autumn Leaves.”

RJD2’s latest album, The Colossus, kicks off in a satisfying way with “Let There Be Horns,” in full-on samplehappy fashion; it’s seemingly a nod to the oft-sampled Incredible Bongo Band, overlaying orchestral blasts atop head-nod-inducing beats, and it ends with the comforting sound of vinyl record surface noise. Much of the album basks in ’70s-soul-funkpop glory, but at times it seems like it’s a smirking embrace, felt on a refrain like “Got the glow, we got

the glow” or any of many nostalgic flourishes that are endearingly dated.

There are a number of vocal tracks, including ones with contributions from Kenna, Phonte Coleman, and Aaron Livingston, but I lean toward RJD2’s crate-digging-sample side over his ’70s emulation mode. The former is just more interesting and stirring, with numbers like “Tin Flower” or “Small Plans,” which uses some stern piano chords and synthorchestral blends to make a gripping concoction. Crossover hits tend to have vocal hooks, which may explain RJD2’s slide toward vocal numbers, but on The Colossus, the instrumental numbers are more immediate and memorable, which is perhaps why his music can work well even in a 30-second dose. — Ernie Paik RJD2 will play Rhythm & Brews on Monday, January 18.

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

19

Film Feature

This Queen Might Amuse

By Phillip Johnston

“It seems as if Vallée and his cinematographer have recently discovered the ability to pull focus for emotional affect; they use it multiple times in every scene and it becomes a jolly novelty.”

20

G

reat Britain and her citizens value the high drama of their aristocracy in equal measure to how much we Americans value our conquests in war. American audiences look to Hollywood for jingoistic fantasies and (recently) anti-war pictures, just as the Brits seem to crave costume dramas that are alternately revealing and respectful of royalty. The Young Victoria, the most recent addition to this ever-growing category, shares both of those qualities.

Directed by Jean-Marc Vallée and starring Emily Blunt in the title role, The Young Victoria is a sumptuously beautiful drama brimming with visual detail and loveliness. That alone is enough to warrant seeing as it may very well consume you with its lush sights and sounds, but the movie as a whole is so committed to manners and good taste that it rarely brings its characters to proper life.

The early years of Queen Victoria’s rule of England, as portrayed in Vallée’s film, were turbulent at best.

Born the only direct ascendant to the throne, Victoria’s manipulative mother (Miranda Richardson) and her dastardly adviser (Mark Strong; currently seen as Lord Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes) plotted all through her childhood how to manipulate the impressionable young woman once

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she took the throne.

Controlled, cloistered, and endlessly kept behind closed palace doors, Victoria still remained determined not to sign the Regency document that would give her manipulators legal right to the throne.

This jealous drama permeates the first few moments of The Young Victoria, but when the queen finally takes her rightful seat on the throne and lays to waste the hopes of her deceptive relatives, her romance with Prince Albert becomes central.

Albert (Rupert Friend) is the nephew of royalty and has been coached by his advisors on how to win Victoria’s favor. His predictable advances annoy Victoria, but the two forge a bond over their equal hatred of manipulation.

“Do you ever feel like a chess piece yourself? In a game being played against your will?” Victoria asks. Albert empathizes and gives a searing reply: “You had better master the rules of the game until you play it better than they can.” She grants Albert permission to write to her and though political foibles and less-worthy suitors try to muddy the waters, the two marry and rule the kingdom together.

The cast is perfectly suited to the material and culled from the very best selection of British characters actors (the great Jim Broadbent has an amusing bit part), but Emily Blunt is the main attraction and proves, perhaps for the first time, that she is

capable of carrying the soul of a film with dignity and grace. She imbues Victoria with the biting self-confidence necessary for a young woman who is pressed to relent on all sides. Her beauty is beguiling.

The script, on the other hand, is not. Penned by Julian Fellowes, a scribe who seemed so adept at structuring class drama when he wrote Robert Altman’s majestic Gosford Park, “Victoria”’s screenplay is structured through voiceover and monologue by way of letters and correspondence written between the historical figures that populate the narrative. It’s a neat trick, but one that gets old after the tenth or eleventh time.

Consequently, the characters we don’t learn about via personal correspondence—Victoria’s mother, The Duchess of Kent; Lord Conroy, the Duchess’s fiendish advisor; Lord Melbourne, one of Victoria’s early advisors— seem to populate the script only because it would be inaccurate for them not to.

Still, the visuals are almost unbearably dignified and sparkle with royal finery. (It seems as if Vallée and his cinematographer have recently discovered the ability to pull focus for emotional affect; they use it multiple times in every scene and it becomes a jolly novelty.) The musical score by Ilan Eshkeri elegantly adapts snippets of Schubert and Handel and plays as big a role in the emotional life of the film as any of the actors. Then there are the costumes by Sandy Powell (The Aviator, Far From Heaven) that will surely win awards for their attention to detail.

Yes, The Young Victoria is that classic case of style over substance.

It feels akin to visiting an elegant museum for the sole purpose of looking around for a few moments.

We’ve all been guilty of that—perhaps to our shame.

That said, a dose of aristocratic poise might be just enough to calm nerves that have been jangled by the recent onslaught of American war films. If you think The Young Victoria could do you some good, don’t resist her charms.

The Young Victoria Directed by Jean-Marc Vallée Starring Emily Blount, Miranda Richardson, Mark Strong Rated PG Running time: 1 hour, 44 minutes

New in Theaters The Book of Eli American film audiences have always loved a good disaster movie, at least judging by the success of films such as 2012 and their ilk. Yet it seems Hollywood has lately had a somewhat unhealthy obsession with the aftermath of such disasters.

Post-apocalyptic movies have gone in and out of fashion for years, and for every classic such as The Road Warrior, there seems to be far too many like Waterworld and The Postman. Maybe what Hollywood needed to do was make sure that Kevin Costner stayed as far away as possible from the current batch of dark and dour “after the world ends” movies. In that regard, casting Denzel Washington as the lead in just such a film may be the best choice.

Washington scruffs up his normal movie-star looks to star in The Book of Eli, a story set in a post-apocalyptic America where his character has to fight his way across the country in order to protect a sacred book that holds the secrets to saving humankind.

Along with the recent adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s The Road with Viggo Mortensen and the upcoming Legion, where angels try to bring about the literal Apocalypse, it

appears that Hollywood is just not in a very positive mood, at least about the future of the world. How audiences react to these films remains to be seen—but at least none of them have to contend with the Costner factor.

Starring: Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis Director: Albert Hughes, Allen Hughes Rating: R

Also in Theaters The Spy Next Door (New) Jackie Chan is an undercover superspy who must protect the family next door when one of the kids downloads a topsecret code.

Youth in Revolt Michael Cera stars as Nick Twisp, a high school student who reinvents himself to win the heart of his dream girl.

Leap Year Amy Adams travels to Dublin to propose to her boyfriend, following a tradition requiring a man to say yes if proposed to on a Leap Day. Daybreakers In the near future, humanity nears extinction when an unknown plague transforms the world’s population into vampires.

Wonderful World A failed folk singer’s life begins to turn around with the arrival of his ailing roommate’s beautiful sister from Senegal.

Crazy on the Outside Tim Allen stars as an ex-

convict fresh out of prison and ready for a second chance in life...but life has other ideas.

Bitch Slap When three femme fatales attempt to steal $200 million from an underworld kingpin, things quickly spiral out of control.

Avatar In director James Cameron’s latest sci-fi epic, a reluctant human hero fights to save the alien world he has learned to call home.

Sherlock Holmes Robert Downey Jr. stars as the legendary London detective, investigating a mysterious nemesis who threatens all of England.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are back for another dose of mischief and musical mayhem... and this time, they’ve got company.

It’s Complicated Meryl Streep and Alec

Baldwin star as an amicably divorced couple who unexpectedly find themselves drawn into a renewed romance.

The Blind Side Sandra Bullock stars as a well-to-do suburban mom who forms an unlikely friendship with a struggling teen from a broken home.

Up in the Air George Clooney is a corporate downsizer whose cherished life on the road is threatened just as he meets the frequent-flyer of his dreams.

The Princess and the Frog Walt Disney presents an animated female twist on the traditional Frog Prince fairy tale, set in New Orleans’s French Quarter.

Nine A film director reaches a creative and personal crisis of epic proportions.

Invictus Morgan Freeman stars as Nelson Mandela in the true story of how South Africa’s underdog rugby team united a nation.

Solution To Last Week’s Puzzle

Never Worry About Losing A Copy Of The Pulse Keep Up Online at www.chattanoogapulse.com 95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

21

On The Beat

By Alex Teach

Snow Day at the Office C

old. So very, very cold.

I was dressed liked a demented blue turtle, toboggan pulled over my ears and eyes and an insulated collar pulled up over my nose, hands nearly unrecognizable wrapped like clubs at the ends of my arms and my boots straining with the pressure within from the bulk of added neoprene long johns.

The only exposed flesh on my body was around my eyes, and I was working on ways to cover them in cotton as well.

I shuffled to my car, combat boots poorly adapting to the icy ground, and I had a moment of panic as I tried to retrieve the keys that dangled from my belt. My gloves gave me the motor skills of a pile of wood, so I had to remove one to get at the snap that held my keys; I slipped it off with some effort, but when I shifted my weight to my right foot, I put myself just far enough off balance while yanking the key ring off that my heel shot to my left, taking the foot next to it out like a bowling pin and I landed on the ground in the shape of a “V”, my ass taking the brunt of the blow.

My mind sang with shock and pain as the sting passed from my coccyx to my lower back, my mouth a rictus of pain, and I had barely come to terms with the embryonic stages of agony when I registered the fact that I was slowly sliding under my car as the fireworks behind my eyes had just begun to take hold.

Pain aside, it was actually all quite confusing.

I held up my hands to stop my slide and the confusion of the situation broke briefly as I suddenly thought of old Quint sliding down the deck of the Orca into the teeth of Jaws. “Elevun hunnerd men wen’ inna’ th’ water,” I was mumbling through numb lips as I slowly wedged under the car, and pushed myself back out. I lay there a moment while my mind departed to avoid further humiliation, and, actually feeling colder, I decided to

22

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get up. Aesthetics and aerodynamics leave little for purchase on the side of a Crown Victoria, but eventually I regained my footing like a newborn calf. Using four points of contact this time, I gently opened the car door. Then the entire car started slowly sliding backwards down the hill it was parked on. “Really?” I thought.

We slid, my car and I, slowly gaining momentum like a couples roller skating session on the set of “Biggest Loser” and I began to give serious thought to the possibility that I was being filmed. I wasn’t concerned about the car or my mortality anymore, because I was powerless to have an impact on either, but I hoped that however this ended it would serve more as a warning to others than as a 60-second bit on America’s Funniest Home Videos. (Hopes, of course, were low.)

The poor car yawed heavily to the left, but slowly came to a halt as it reached the saddle of the hill it was on and by some miracle it hadn’t hit anything or pulled me under it. I stood still a moment looking around as much for the next punch line as I was for a place to slowly crab-crawl in case some other fool came sledding at me out of control. Seeing nothing, I finally plopped onto the driver’s seat and turned the waiting key. It’s nothing short of amazing that it didn’t blow up like a mob informant’s Lincoln, but fire would have been too good a death in these temperatures. From heat at least, I was immortal.

I gently worked my way towards the nearest convenience store like it was the New York City Marathon finish line, and breathed a sigh of relief as I made it there without taking out the gas pumps. I had a goal that transcended coffee for once: At 16 degrees Fahrenheit, it is perfectly legal to urinate in public so long as you make a reasonable attempt to “conceal yourself”; that does not mean, however, that it is at all practical without the graphic use of double-sided tape. I needed their filthy private bathroom.

Upon completion of my deed, I

“We slid, my car and I, slowly gaining momentum like a couples roller skating session on the set of ‘Biggest Loser’ and I began to give serious thought to the possibility that I was being filmed.” decided that I might as well just stay there and see what dreams may come from dispatch for the remainder; it was as good a place as any, and the coffee was indeed aplenty.

“Elevun hunnerd men wen’ inna’ th’ water…” I again thought, “three hunnerd sixteen men come out, an th’ sharks took the res’…” I stared out the window as the clerk snoozed behind the counter, an insulated mug pressed to my lips for comfort as I watched the spitting snow collect and blow across the unevenly paved ground. I wondered how I’d make it home tonight, then laughed. Didn’t I think that every night? Heh. I knew I’d finally learn to love the snow.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student at UTC, an up and coming carpenter, auto mechanic, prominent boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

23

Arts & Entertainment

Out of the Closet and Into the Limelight

By Stephanie Smith

“All of the characters begin asking the same questions: What’s considered happiness? How can I make you happy? How can I make myself happy?”

24

“T

he public enjoys watching movie stars struggle— the more popular they are, the more they are looked at. It becomes a bit of a sport.”

Magge Hudgins is directing The Little Dog Laughed at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre, a piece of theatre by Douglas Carter Beene that focuses on the struggle that movie stars face when confronted with morality vs. professional advancement under the limelight of celebrity.

When asked what makes this a typical circle play for the CTC, Hudgins asserts, “This definitely fits the criteria for a Circle play. It is material for adults—an off-color comedy of manners with a certain amount of intensity that not only satirizes Hollywood but also the moral integrity type of questions usually reserved for the Circle.”

The play takes place in both New York and Los Angeles and centers on

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Mitchell (Hunter Rogers), an up-andcoming movie star in Hollywood. He has already won some awards and achieved recognition, and his agent Diane (Wendy Tippens) wants him to move his career forward.

“Diane is a bit of a manipulator,” says Hudgins. “She’s a puppeteer playing with people’s lives to forward her own career. She’s sort of laughing at what she’s capable of doing. While Mitch struggles with some things in his life that could possibly ruin his career, she persuades him to go otherwise [in a direction of moral ambiguity.]”

Diane says Mitchell suffers from “a slight recurring case of homosexuality.”

However, Mitchell’s struggle is not with his homosexuality. Mitchell falls in love with Alex (Cody Keown) who has a girlfriend (Jennelle Gilreath) and he begins questioning what happiness means to him.

All of the characters begin asking the same questions: What’s considered happiness? How can I make you happy? How can I make myself happy?

Hudgins postulates that whatever it is that would really make you happy may not be something you’re proud of or even want to admit—a theory that many of us can relate to. “[Mitch] wonders whether he is ready to take on such a turmoil within himself,” says Hudgins. “Should he out himself with Alex? [Is he prepared to] give up being a movie star?”

While the theme of happiness is universal, Hudgins thinks the play also says a lot about the business of “the business” in a way that will make everyone stop and think.

“Besides his struggle between career and personal life, [Mitch] has to think about ‘the life’—keeping in the loop, in those circles that will further his

career—doing what it takes to succeed.

I think a lot of people struggle with their careers and what they have to give up. You have to know what you have to take care of in your life and [realize] that you may have to stop being vain.”

In her own work as director, Hudgins approaches every script the same way. She tries to communicate what she thinks the playwright is communicating by analyzing the text and characters and researching the history of the play.

“I hope I’m able to tell the story.

It’s sort of like being a detective. I try to make the voice of the playwright heard as he intended; it’s doing the best you can without him [Douglas Carter Beene] sitting there listening if I have questions.”

As far as “the business” goes, “Diane is the playwright’s tongueand-cheek nod to being a pawn in this whole business. It hits home with the playwright—people go to the cinema as opposed to theatre. The satirical part is that Diane’s laughing, but laughter can sometimes be cruel,” she says.

In terms of celebrities referenced in the play, Hudgins says that there isn’t any hard evidence towards anyone in particular.

“The cast has here and there talked about Tom Cruise,” she reveals. “In none of the research is he named, but that’s something we fabricated. It was probably just late and we were having fun. But see—we were doing exactly what the play is satirizing!”

The Little Dog Laughed 8 p.m.

January 15, 16, 22, 23, 29, 30 Circle Stage, Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River Street, (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

A&E Calendar Friday

Thursday

Thelma Golden at the Hunter Museum The Studio Museum of Harlem’s director continues the HM’s “Identity” series.

Free 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

The Mystery of TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Grant Turner is Ricky Mokel 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com CSO: Stravinsky “Firebird 1919 Suite” 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street. (423) 757-5050. www.chattanoogasymphony.org Multicultural Literacy Book Club 6 p.m. Rock Point Books, 401 Broad Street. (423) 756-2855. www.rockpointbooks.com “Angels” by Mary Ferris Kelly Exum Gallery, St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 7th St. (423) 266-8195. stpaulschatt.homestead.com

CSO presents “Stravinsky Firebird 1919 Suite” Conducted by Maestra Sarah Ioaniddes. $19-$79 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street.

(423) 267-8583 www.chattanoogasymphony.org

Saturday

The Little Dog Laughed Comedy of Hollywood’s musical sexual identities. $15 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Stage, 400 River Street.

(423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Monday “Speak Easy” Spoken word and poetry 8 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9040. www.mudpierestaurant.com “Love Supreme: An Exhibit Inspired by the Legendary John Coltrane” Chattanooga African American Museum, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658. www.caamhistory.org “Looking Beyond” Smart Furniture Studio, 313 Manufacturer’s Rd. (423) 643-0025. www.smartfurniture.com Jazz Photography by Milt Hinton Chattanooga African American Museum, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658. www.caamhistory.org

“All Around the Block” opening reception 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214. www.intowngallery.com Grant Turner is Ricky Mokel 7:30 & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch and Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com The Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Sesame Street Live 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditioriam, 399 McCallie Avenue.

(423) 757-5050. www.chattanoogaonstage.com Merrybellies 5th Annual Bellydance Showcase, 1307 Dodds Avenue. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

Walking History Tours of Chattanooga Chattanooga History Center, 615 Lindsey St. (423) 265-3247. www.chattanoogahistory.org Oils and Acrylics by Charlie Newton North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924. www.chattanooga.gov “Alchemy” Shuptrine Fine Art and Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.alanshuptrine.com UTC Department of Art Student Juried Show Cress Gallery, UTC, Corner of Vine and Palmetto. (423) 425-4600. www.utc.edu/cressgallery “A Passion for Pitchers” Houston Museum, 210 High Street. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.org

Sunday Mosaic Market 11 a.m. 412 Market St. (corner of 4th/Market) (423) 624-3915. www.mosaicchattanooga.com The Mystery of the Nightmare High School Reunion 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Grant Turner is Ricky Mokel 7:30 & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch and Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com The Mystery of the Red NeckItalian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Ron White 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street. (423) 757-5050. www.chattanoogaonstage.com

Sesame Street Live 1, 4:30 p.m. Memorial Auditioriam, 399 McCallie Avenue.

(423) 757-5050. www.chattanoogaonstage.com The Jupiter Quartet 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 North Ocoee St., Cleveland.

(433) 614-8343. www.leeuniversity.edu “Themes of Identity” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org “The Kennedys: Portrait of a Family” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Mole Hill Pottery The Galleries at Southside, 1404 Cowart St. (423) 267-8101. www.molehillpottery.com

Tuesday

Wednesday

Flick’s Cafe: Playtime 6 p.m. Chattanooga-Hamilton Bicentennial Library, 1001 Broad St. (423)757-5310. www.lib.chattanooga.gov “All Around the Block” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214.

“Hot Mess” Association for Visual Arts, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282.

“Earth” Warehouse Row Project Space, 1110 Market St. (423) 280-7182. www.tannerhillgallery.com Folk Art at Winder Binder Winder Binder Gallery of Folk Art, 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.winderbinder.com “Angels” by Mary Ferris Kelly Exum Gallery, St. Pauls Episcopal Church, 305 7th St. (423) 266-8195.

Walking History Tours of Chattanooga Chattanooga History Center, 615 Lindsey St. (423) 265-3247. www.chattanoogahistory.org Oils and Acrylics by Charlie Newton North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924. www.chattanooga.gov “Alchemy” Shuptrine Fine Art and Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.alanshuptrine.com UTC Department of Art Student Juried Show Cress Gallery, UTC, Corner of Vine and Palmetto. (423) 425-4600. www.utc.edu/cressgallery “A Passion for Pitchers” Houston Museum, 210 High Street. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.org

Brian Regan Sophisticated stand-up at the Tiv. $36.50 7 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street.

(423) 757-5050. www.chattanoogaonstage.com

Grant Turner is Ricky Mokel 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Sesame Street Live 2 p.m. Memorial Auditioriam, 399 McCallie Avenue. (423) 757-5050. www.chattanoogaonstage.com Mine, documentary about pets and people after Katrina 2:30 p.m., Chattanooga-Hamilton Bicentennial Library, 1001 Broad Street. (423) 757-5050.

“Common Objects” River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033.

Contemporary Art Hollis Gallery, 1401 Williams St. (866) 544-0896. www.hollisgallery.net Liz Kinder Stoneware Plum Nelly, 330 Frazier Ave. (423) 266-0585.

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Playtime Jacques Tati’s classic character, Monsieur Hulot, gets lost in Paris in this 1967 comedy. Part of the “Films of the 60s” series in Flick’s Cafe.

Tuesday, January 19 6 p.m. $1 Downtown Library, 1001 Broad Street.

(423) 757-5310. www.lib.chattanooga.gov

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

25

Table Service

Fabulous Food and a Warm Welcome

By Colleen Wade

“While the ambiance alone is worth the trip up Lookout Mountain, once you arrive and taste the delightful fare so lovingly created by Chef Lindroth, you’ll never want to leave.”

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J

ust up Ochs Highway and a short jog down Scenic Highway into Lookout Mountain, Tennessee, you’ll arrive at Café on the Corner. There is very little signage on the quaint white building, but trust me—one visit and you’ll find your way back again and again.

Upon entering Café on the Corner, you immediately feel welcome.

Whether it’s the enormous stone fireplace or the smells of Southern cooking emanating from the kitchen, who’s to say—but it’s definitely there, the feeling that comes over you when you’ve found a special place. You know the feeling—you’re so glad you’ve found it and thrilled to be there, but can’t wait to leave and tell everyone you know about it.

There is much history in the building that houses Café on the Corner. “It was originally a grocery store,” says owner Ruth Oehmig.

“Everyone up here remembers,

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especially folks in their 80s and 90s, coming here as a little kid. It had a pot-bellied stove and an old-fashioned candy counter.” After the grocery closed, Mrs. Oehmig’s aunt purchased the building and opened an antique store. She later sold the space to a cousin-by-marriage, who opened the location’s first restaurant. At that time, the fireplace was added as well as the patio. After the closing of that restaurant, the building passed through a few more owners, each adding their own touches—some not as appealing as others. “We came in and I saw the bones, the architectural, just the inherent beauty of the place.

It had been kind of patched and repatched,” says Ruth Oehmig, She decided to gut the building. With the help of The Strauss Company, she and executive chef Sven Lindroth restored Café on the Corner to its genuine beauty. Under layers of sheetrock, they discovered gorgeous brick walls, and found incredible hardwood floors beneath linoleum. While Mrs. Oehmig focused on the dining area, Lindroth was busy creating his perfect kitchen.

Once the renovations were complete, Mission-style tables and chairs were brought in and covered with linen tablecloths, a gorgeous breakfront came to rest in a corner close to the gracious, welcoming fireplace, and slow-turning fans gently moved the air.

While the ambiance alone is worth the trip up Lookout Mountain, once you arrive and taste the delightful fare so lovingly created by Chef Lindroth, you’ll never want to leave.

Lindroth has cooked in such places as Chicago, New Orleans, Jamaica, and Charleston, where he attended the acclaimed Johnson & Wales University and received an advanced degree, graduating summa cum laude.

Lindroth brings a taste of each of

these places to the kitchen of Café on the Corner. He combines these ethnic flavors with good ol’ Southern cookin’ learned at his grandfather’s and mother’s sides. You’ll find such tempting appetizers as pork sliders, served on basil thyme biscuits with pickles and a blue cheese slaw, or Lindroth’s take on a Southern classic— fried green tomatoes. Café on the Corner serves panko breaded green tomatoes drizzled with a basil aioli sauce and sweet pepper jelly.

There’s tomato tart served with arugula and bacon jam, and a blend of South meets way West… spring rolls filled with collard greens, smoked pork, corn, red pepper, red onion and served with a sweet mustard sauce, reminiscent of South Carolina BBQ sauce. Why, a person could just eat appetizers and have a fabulous meal!

But then you’d be missing out on other amazing dishes like Lindroth’s Flat Iron Steak, cooked in a red wine demi-glace and served with cheddar potato gratin and asparagus, or a local favorite, comfort food at its finest, Café Meatloaf, served with thyme brown gravy, mac n’ cheese, honey-glazed carrots and blue cheese slaw, or the must-try Shrimp and Grits, Lindroth’s own recipe that has been published in Nathalie Dupree’s Shrimp and Grits Cookbook.

Whatever you choose to eat, the experience is sure to be pleasing. Trust me, once you traverse the mountain and find yourself seated at Café on the Corner, you’ll know you’ve found a special place, and you’ll tell everyone you know.

Café on the Corner, 826 Scenic Highway, Lookout Mountain, Tennessee. Open for lunch and dinner, Monday through Thursday, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. and Friday and Saturday, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. (423) 825-5005.

Spirits Within

By Joshua Hurley

The Colorful History of Canadian Club L

et’s start the New Year off trying to save you money—but still giving you a high-quality spirit.

Last week we revisited Crown Royal, and yes, it’s the smoothest of the smooth. Costs a few extra dollars—but when you taste it, you’ll know where the extra cash went. For this week’s “Great Buy”, we’re going to learn about Canadian Club. “Great Buys” is where ‘Riley’s Wine and Spirits’ on Hixson Pike in Hixson picks a favorite from our large selection of wine and spirits from around the world and shares it with The Pulse readership.

Canadian Club first went into production in 1858 in Detroit under the ownership of famed distiller Hiram Walker. Around 1840, he learned to distill in his grocery store, first using cider vinegar, then graduating to grain and wheat. His first batch sold to the public sometime in 1854.

Walker’s whiskey caught on well, and soon he was selling more than he could distill. Unfortunately Michigan would soon join other states, such as Kansas, in what was then called “The Noble Experiment”: Prohibition, which Congress created with the 18th Amendment. Prohibition would last federally from 1919-1933, but some states had been “dry” individually since 1860. Once Michigan joined Prohibition, Walker moved his distillery across the Detroit River to Windsor, Ontario, creating the small community of Walkerville. Safely in Canada, Walker was able to further practice and perfect his distilling techniques without being labeled a bootlegger (hence a lawbreaker) in the state of Michigan.

Walker’s Whiskey, then called “Club Whiskey”, was becoming extremely popular in American high-class clubs and restaurants due to its longer aging—four more years than American bourbon, which matures only one year.

So popular had it become, in fact, that American distillers petitioned to have Walker label his whiskey Canadian, thinking that this would deter American consumers from buying it. This backfired. It increased Walker’s sales 50 percent, a terrible blunder on the part of American distillers. In 1890, Walker changed the label again by putting the Canadian in front of Club, officially

calling it “Canadian Club Whiskey”.

In 1894, Congress passed the “bond law”, which made distillers include the maturation time on the label. This helped increase C.C.’s popularity even more, reaffirming the fact that “Club” was aged longer and hence smoother than American whiskeys.

Walker died in 1899, leaving the distillery to his sons, where it and the town of Walkerville continued to grow. During Prohibition, gangster Al Capone was the distillery’s biggest customer, buying thousands of cases and smuggling them back to America.

Riley’s offers Canadian Club in four varieties, each with its own level of quality and price: Canadian Club – 6 Years Old: Easily recognized around the world, with availability in over 150 countries.

Mixes well with soda, ginger ale and is a step above other similarly priced brands.

Canadian Club Reserve: Aged 10 years, four years longer than regular CC, Richer and smoother in taste.

Canadian Club Classic: Aged 12 years and as close to Crown Royal as you are likely to get.

Canadian Club 100 Proof: Six years old and distilled to 50 percent alcohol by volume (100 proof), this is considerably stronger than the others, richer in taste. Keep you warm on a cold night by the fire!

Canadian Club Sherry Cask: Easily the “star” of the group. Double aged, first in oak for eight years, then in sherry wood for at least two years (a barrel that once contained sherry wine), giving the whiskey a galaxy of characteristics including toffee and marshmallow aromas, followed by tastes of honey and cocoa. Wine Enthusiast named this spirit as one of the top 50 in the world with a 95/100 rating. Enjoy!

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

27

Shades Of Green

By Victoria Hurst

How We Do Greener Business A

s the Christmas trees start to pile up in front of houses and LED twinkle lights cease to brighten porches, it’s out with the decorations and holiday cheer and in with those most sobering of New Year’s traditions: the resolution.

This year, why not choose one which will not only bring personal betterment— but also improvement for one of the places where you have the most influence: your workplace.

As we all have noticed, green is making an appearance in many forms and functions in our society. Unfortunately, there are still countless offices and businesses that are unaware or neglectful of their resource usage.

There is enough paper thrown away each year to build a wall from New York City to Los Angeles. When there is a lack of recycling bins, all of that waste from the vending machines and businesses lunches ends up in the trash. For most people, if conservation is not a convenient part of a routine, it is less likely to become a habit.

If your workplace does not have a recycling program, speak with your manager about the options of putting one in place. If the city picks up the trash, call them directly to receive some bins. If bottled water is commonplace in your office, suggest the installation of water coolers and perhaps getting some water bottles to pass out as well. Reduce paper cup

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waste by encouraging co-workers to bring in mugs or to donate old mugs from home to create a supply for use during coffee breaks.

Often, I see co-workers pull out in front of or behind me on my way to work, and we follow each other to the same place in different cars.

Carpooling is a great way to save both natural resources and money, as well as a good way to bond with coworkers. Some businesses may even designate prime parking spots for those who carpool.

When it comes to issues such as desk or cubicle etiquette, some suggestions can come off as somewhat awkward. It is best to broach these topics (such as turning off computers at night or re-using paper) through mass e-mails—which are a good

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example of saving paper. From this stance, it is easy to make friendly suggestions to everyone in the office and refrain from making anyone feel singled out.

It is also good to let co-workers know what your concerns are, so they feel more comfortable about sharing their ideas and concerns as well. Create an atmosphere in which these habits can be easily and steadily nurtured.

There are a variety of small ways to make a significant change. Making sure there are working and well-placed hand dryers can reduce the amount of paper towel waste generated in the bathroom. It can’t hurt to put up subtle reminders, as well, for people to use less paper and water while taking their rest.

Just knowing that others may be conscious of (and might hold you accountable for) your choices can inspire a change in routine.

Another cool thing to share with your co-workers: http://www.blackle. com/. Made available by Heap Media, Blackle is a search engine with an all-black screen to save energy.

There is a “Watts Saved” meter right on the main page. While you’re there, you can search for additional innovative ways to make your office or workplace greener.

We are all aware of small ways in which we can make a big difference.

The next step is to not only spread your knowledge, but also to let others know that you care. So, make it your resolution to help your office and your co-workers bring in the New Year with a fresh outlook on how Chattanooga does business.

“If bottled water is commonplace in your office, suggest the installation of water coolers and perhaps getting some water bottles to pass out as well.”

Victoria Hurst is a proud resident of the Appalachian Mountains. She has recently graduated from Warren Wilson College with a B.A. in Creative Writing.

JONESIN’

By Matt Jones

“Best Of The Decade” –part five: 2008-09.

Free Will Astrology AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): One of my readers, Judd, shared his vision of how to cope with the blahs of January. Given your astrological omens, I’d say his strategy perfectly embodies the approach you should take right now. Please study his testimony below, and come up with your own ingenious variation. “On the coldest of days, my friends and I celebrate ‘scrufting,’ the art of enjoying the great outdoors with indoor furniture, while listening to loud indie-rock and adorned in our grungiest slop-ware. Aided by Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout, we curse and laugh at the constraints of winter by playing our favorite summer sports like Frisbee, hacky-sack, and soccer.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It’s graduation time.

Not in any officially recognized sense, maybe, but still: You have completed your study of a certain subject in the school of life. At a later date, maybe you will resume studying this subject on a higher level, but for now you’ve absorbed all you can.

I suggest you give yourself a kind of final exam.

(Be sure to grade it yourself.) You might also want to carry out a fun ritual to acknowledge the completion of this chapter of your story. It will free up your mind and heart to begin the next chapter.

Across 1 Last.fm’s #1 pick for Best Artist of 2008 5 Lo-cal dishes 11 Start of the yr.

14 Regenerist skin care company 15 South American wildcat 16 “___ seen worse...”

17 A clip of his “Inside Edition” meltdown made Huffington Post’s #1 spot on “YouTube’s Best of 2008: Top Ten” 19 Fit, as requirements 20 Gifted people 21 Fiber ___ 23 Actor Rob 24 Large arterial trunk 26 Like some Greek columns 29 Troy story 33 Documentary on many best movie lists of 2008 37 Not quite exact 38 “In the Valley of ___” (2007 Tommy Lee Jones film) 39 Nix 41 Getting ___ years 42 “Grease ___ word!”

44 A fake “RIP” tweet about him (after the VMA broadcast) made PopEater.com’s “Best Celebrity Twitter Stories of 2009” 46 Luxury watch brand 47 NFL Network journalist Rich, once partnered on ESPN with Stuart Scott 48 Julia of “Julie & Julia” 50 “The stuff that belongs

to the person you just broke up with” (George Carlin) 54 ___ States (group that includes Bulgaria) 57 Agitated 60 ___-ray (HD movie option) 61 With “The,” inspirational bestseller that made About.com’s “Top 10 Books of 2008” 64 Sine ___ non 65 Tooth substance 66 Red Sox or White Sox player, briefly 67 Laura Bush’s alma mater 68 Grabs control of 69 TV.com’s #1 pick for “Coolest Cast on Campus” for 2009 Down 1 Angry throngs 2 Type of cells that provide support for neurons 3 John Lee convicted of the 2002 Beltway sniper attacks 4 Two-time All-Pro cornerback currently with the Denver Broncos 5 Do some post office work 6 Deck quartet 7 Hawaiian wear that spawns corny jokes 8 100% 9 Sorrow 10 Type of pencil that stops bleeding 11 Hendrix on the guitar 12 Opposite of sans

13 Volleyball needs 18 ___ a million 22 Candle material 24 Reason for some sirens 25 About 71% of the earth’s surface 27 Pained cries 28 It’s more than your and my two cents’ worth 30 Actress Skye 31 Garage sale condition 32 Fender bender result 33 Former Israeli PM Golda 34 Likewise 35 From coast to coast: abbr.

36 Expression akin to “shucks” 40 Joe-___ weed (healing plant) 43 Lets it all out?

45 Funk & Wagnalls offering: abbr.

49 Ludicrous 51 Do some price fixing?

52 “Never ___ moment” 53 Make baby food 54 Backyard cookouts, for short 55 Homecoming attendee, sometimes 56 Hawaiian feast 57 Swiss abstract painter Paul 58 Long swimmers 59 Father, in France 62 Raphael’s weapon, in “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” 63 Gossip show that was recently hoaxed on a fake JFK photo

©2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0449.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Earth’s north magnetic pole is not the same as the geographic North Pole. If you take out a compass to orient yourself toward due north, the compass arrow will actually point toward a spot in the frigid wilds of Canada. But what’s really odd is that the north magnetic pole has been on the move since 1904—scientists don’t know exactly why—and has dramatically sped up in recent years. According to National Geographic, it’s now zooming toward Siberia at the rate of almost 40 miles per year. I suspect that your own metaphorical version of magnetic north will also be changing in 2010, Aries. By January 2011, the homing signal you depend on to locate your place in reality may have migrated significantly. This is a good time to start tracking the shift.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous,” wrote W. Somerset Maugham. “On the contrary, it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind.” I think the trajectory of your journey during the last 12 months tends to confirm his theory, Taurus. According to my analysis, you set new benchmarks for your personal best in 2009, while at the same time becoming a wiser, riper human being. Congrats! Now get out there and capitalize on the grace you’ve earned. Be as organized as possible as you share the fruits of your progress.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Onion, which describes itself as “America’s Finest News Source,” ran a feature on the inventor Thomas Edison. He “changed the face of modern life in 1879,” said the report, “when he devised the groundbreaking new process of taking ideas pioneered by other scientists and marketing them as his own.” The tone was mocking, of course, but I’m perfectly sincere when I urge you to imitate Edison in the coming weeks. Given the current astrological omens, you’d be wise to take advantage of the breakthroughs of others and make good use of resources created by others. Just be sure that you give credit where credit is due, and you’ll actually be doing everyone a service.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A Scorpio is willing and maybe even eager to share secrets with you.

Can you marshal just the right amount of selfprotectionnot too much, not too little—to trust a little more and go deeper? As for Virgo: That under-self-confident person would really benefit from getting more appreciation from you. Don’t be stingy. Meanwhile, I think you’re suffering from a misunderstanding about an Aquarius. It will be in your selfish interest to clear it up. A few more tips: Don’t give up on Pisces. There’s more to come when the coast is clearer. Browse but don’t

By Rob Brezsny

buy yet with a Leo. And make business, but not love or war, with a Capricorn.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I like it best when the creek that runs near my home is wide and deep.

It gets that way at high tide, when the moon shepherds in a surge of water from the bay.

As I gaze out at the swollen cascade, I feel full and fertile; everything’s right with the world.

Inevitably, though, the tide goes out and the flow turns meek and narrow. Then my mood is less likely to soar. A slight melancholy may creep in.

But I’ve learned to love that state, too—to derive a quiet joy from surveying the muddy banks where the water once ran, the muck imprinted with tracks of egrets and ducks. Besides, I know it’s only a matter of time before the tide shifts and the cascade returns. Enjoy your own personal version of the low-tide phase, Leo. High tide will be coming back your way soon.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you asked me to make you a mix tape that would be conducive for making love to, I wouldn’t be in the least surprised. These long January nights are ideal times for you Virgos to be unleashing your dormant passion and sharing volcanic pleasure and exploring the frontier where delight overlaps with wonder. In the compilation of tunes I’d create for you, I’d probably have stuff like “Teardrop” by Massive Attack, “Breathe Me”

by Sia, “Supermassive Black Hole” by Muse, and “6 Underground” by the Sneaker Pimps. But I think it’s a better idea for you to assemble your own soundtrack. Tell me about it if you do. I’m at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The world’s tallest waterfall is Angel Falls in Venezuela. It was named after Jimmie Angel, an American who was the first person to fly a plane over it in 1933. Recently, Venezuela’s president suggested that this place should be officially renamed Kerepakupai Meru, which is what the indigenous Pemon Indians have always called it. The coming weeks happen to be a favorable time for you to consider making a comparable move, Libra: restoring a natural wonder to its original innocence; rehabilitating the truth about a beautiful resource; returning an old glory to its pristine state.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the first half of 2010, your calling will be calling to you more loudly and insistently than it has in years. It will whisper to you seductively while you’re falling asleep. It will clang like a salvation bell during your mid-morning breaks. It will soothe you with its serpentine tones and it will agitate you with its rippling commands to spring into action. How will you respond to these summonses from your supreme inner authority? This week will be a good test.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “You can have it all,” says fashion designer Luella Bartley.

“It’s just really hard work.” That’s my oracle for you, Sagittarius— not just for this week, but for the next three months as well. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the cosmos will indeed permit you to have your cake and eat it, too, as long as you’re willing to manage your life with more discipline, master the crucial little details everyone else neglects, and always give back at least as much as you’re given.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The number of bacteria per square inch on a toilet seat averages about 50. Meanwhile, your telephone harbors over 25,000 germs per square inch and the top of your desk has about 21,000. I’d like you to use this as a metaphor that you can apply more universally. According to my analysis, you see, you are over-emphasizing the risks and problems in one particular area of your life and underestimating them elsewhere. Spend some time this week correcting the misdiagnoses.

Homework: What could you do to free your imagination from its bondage Read “Liberate Your Imagination” here: http://bit.ly/Liberate

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 1.14.10 The Pulse

29

Ask A Mexican

By Gustavo Arellano

Rebel Amnesty Dear Mexican, I’m surprised by the choice of the word “amnesty” by those who would demonize immigration reform, especially in the South. Doesn’t the modern well-being of many Southerners derive in some way from their ancestors’ having sworn to amnesty oaths, both before and after the Civil War? Isn’t it being disingenuous to make the “but-myfamily-immigrated-legally” argument when your great-great-greatgrandparents got amnesty for their own federal faux pas?

— Gringo del Sur Dear Southern Gabacho, Modern-day Know Nothing retellings of American immigration history are disingenuous like Guatemalans are slow, Gringo, but I’m more interested in these Dixie oaths. Gabachos received amnesty in this country before? You mean to tell me we pardoned a bunch of traitorous, backwards, racist pendejos for their federal crimes? And the Union did not perish, but instead became stronger? See, America?

There’s hope in giving amnesty to Mexicans after all! Yeah, we’ll probably continue to stupidly worship the flag of a defeated country, be an economic drag on everyone else for a good generation, stereotype negritos and worship our heritage a bit much, and the idiots among us will secretly try to secede from the States from time to time, but we’ll eventually join the fabric of this land—and at least we won’t create something as ridiculous as the Confederate Memorial Carving.

Nah, we celebrate our heroes on cereal boxes—and if you don’t

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know what I’m talking about and don’t want to know, readers, please don’t try to find the Cesar Chavez cornflakes box on Google…

Dear Mexican, I recently heard that casino building projects done by many of the tribes in Washington state require a certain percentage of Native American labor with no restrictions on tribe.

I was told that they had a difficulty meeting their quota, so I wondered who counts as a Native American?

Why are Mexican-Americans born on both sides of the border not recognized as Native Americans in the same way that the Apache or Blackfoot are? How do Mexicans with indigenous roots feel about this?

— Curious White Seattleite Dear Gabacho, This is ¡Ask a Mexican!, not ¡Ask Black Elk!, so I’ll leave it to my native hermanos to determine who belongs to their respective tribes and why.

The case of borderland tribes like

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the Yaqui and Apache is especially hard to untangle—not only did their historical homelands not have to cross the border, the border crossed them thrice. But the U.S. Census doesn’t have a box to check for those people born in Mexico who possess or identify with an indigenous Mexican group, because the U.S. Census is a crock of mierda with racial classifications no doubt created by a pencil pusher with too much tequila the night before. That said, there are enough indigenous Mexicans in the United States to begin rethinking this—demographers estimate there are over 100,00 Mixtecs and Zapotecs (Indians from the state of Oaxaca) in the United States, and they freely acknowledge it’s probably a severe undercount due to these people being ostracized by both gabachos and Mexicans. And this isn’t counting the many Chicano yaktivists who think taking on an Aztec name and hanging the calendar stone on their bedroom wall classifies them as a direct descendant of Cuauhtémoc.

“We celebrate our heroes on cereal boxes— and if you don’t know what I’m talking about and don’t want to know, readers, please don’t try to find the Cesar Chavez cornflakes box on Google.”

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, myspace.com/ocwab, facebook.com/garellano, youtube.com/ askamexicano, find him on, Twitter, or write via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815.