The Pulse - Vol. 7, Issue 24

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Why We Don't Graduate

By Janis Hashe

What's Up With The Joneses?

By Hellcat

Southern Waves of Achievement

By Michael Crumb

The A–Team Gets a C–Minus

By John DeVore

FREE • News, Views, Music, Film, Arts & Entertainment • June 17, 2010 • Volume 7, Issue 24 • www.chattanoogapulse.com

Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor / Art Director Gary Poole Advertising Manager Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Leif Sawyer, Townes Webb Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Staff Photographer Louis Lee Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder, Michael Crumb Rebecca Cruz, John DeVore Hellcat, Joshua Hurley, Matt Jones, Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Gary Poole, Alex Teach Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Calendar Editor Kathryn Dunn Editorial Interns Elana Acosta, Ashley Miller Copy Assistant Bryanna Burns Videography Josh Lang Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

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The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space

2010

cover story

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ontents

10 WHY WE DON'T GRADUATE

By Janis Hashe Talk about your competing statistics: The 2000 Census revealed that only 21.4 percent of Tennesseans had a four-year degree. In Chattanooga, according to a recent Brookings Institute study, the number rises to a less-than-whopping 23.4 percent.

According to the Tennessee Alumnus, UTC’s graduation rate is 39.6 percent, the worst among the UT campuses.

feature stories

news & views

By Hellcat You may have already heard the rumors that Up With the Joneses are over...or at least over as we know it. Considering this band has been a local staple in our music scene for more than 12 years, I thought it might be best to find out what was going on.

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20 SOUTHERN WAVES OF ACHIEVEMENT

everything else

14 WHAT'S UP WITH THE JONESES?

By Michael Crumb The opening of “Southern Journeys” at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center presents an intimate and diverse overview of a half-century of African American art.

26 THE A-TEAM GETS A C-MINUS

By John DeVore If you like silly movies—and if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your money—and if you don’t mind two hours of erratic explosions, predicable plots twists, and frequently repeated one liners, maybe you should see The A-Team.

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PULSE BEATS BEYOND THE HEADLINES SHRINK RAP LIFE IN THE NOOG ON THE BEAT ASK A MEXICAN

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR CITY COUNCILSCOPE POLICE BLOTTER THE LIST NEW MUSIC REVIEWS MUSIC CALENDAR A&E CALENDAR NEW IN THEATERS SPIRITS WITHIN JONESIN’ CROSSWORD FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

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President Jim Brewer, II

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A FF TH se NU O PA Pul C AN SI TEN he T U M EA in B k

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

E ee TH t w x ne

JUNE

Letters to the Editor Tear The Roof Off I am one of those people who generally avoid Riverbend every year. The heat, the crowds, the repetitious musical acts and styles (seriously, how many local cover bands do we need?), not to mention the real lack of parking coordination all require something pretty special to get me and my husband out of the house. So, in that regard, I would love to send out a huge “thank you” to whoever at Riverbend made the suggestion to book George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic.

I have no idea how P-Funk will go over with the Riverbend crowd, but I, for one, will be parked front and center waiting for the mothership to land on the Tennessee River.

Barbara Sinclair Riverbend Anxiety Another June, another musical monstrosity taking over downtown and sucking down taxpayer money to benefit a few well-placed businesses (hello Budweiser). How is it even legal for Riverbend to get roads closed, tons of extra law enforcement and emergency medical services, and so forth from the city and county without paying anything close to

what every other promoter or organization has to pay for their events? Riverbend is a complete racket and someone needs to shine the light of publicity into their too-cozy relationship with the city.

Terrance Forsyth Enjoying Riverbend I’ve been listening to talk radio callers as well as reading letters to the various newspapers and news websites whining and moaning about Riverbend. There’s a simple answer to all these naysayers: if you don’t like it, don’t go! It’s a huge event that brings in millions of dollars to local businesses, hotels, restaurants, bars and so forth. The “I don’t like it, so nobody else should be able to like it” mentality that so many people have in this town is downright obnoxious.

Bill Tankersley

The boyfriend, and most of the rest of us, only have one such moment in several years during our lives. You and your fellow societal janitors have them every day. God love you.

Felix Miller

Moments Touch Lives On a bleak and cheerless day, the words of the suicider’s boyfriend haunt me: “ ‘So is she all right?’ [On The Beat, “Subliminal Reflux”] I took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow, and began to speak.” What a job you have.

Haiti Shoe Collection Please let your readers know about www. theyoftencryoutreach.org, where they can get more information regarding the Haiti shoe collection project.

Taj Weekes

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week:

A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“If you don’t draw attention to yourself, we won’t pay attention to you.”

—Chattanooga Police Department Interim Chief Mark Rawlston, explaining how best to behave at this week’s Riverbend Festival so as to not have any law enforcement problems.

Thinking Outside The (Riverbend) Box For years, one of the major problems law enforcement (and Riverbend attendees) have had to deal with is getting people out of downtown each night after the festival is over. Trying to get tens of thousands of people and vehicles home in a reasonable period of time has always been an extreme challenge.

The most difficult night of the year, according to officials with the Chattanooga Police Department, is the final Saturday of the festival, otherwise known as “fireworks night”. Not only are there usually about 80,000 to 100,000 people on the festival site to watch the fireworks, tens of thousands more fill Coolidge and Renaissance Parks and various areas on both sides of the river.

With that in mind, police officials have decided to do some classic “outside-the-box” thinking and have made some notable changes. Foremost among them is closing down the Walnut Street pedestrian bridge at 4 p.m. and not allowing anyone on for the rest of the evening. This alone will relieve the pressure of Frazier Avenue traffic on the Northshore, as it will eliminate several thousand extra pedestrians from adding to the already large crowds coming out of Coolidge Park.

Two other bridges will see some changes as well. The Market Street Bridge will be changed to one-way northbound (towards the Northshore) after the fireworks, while the Olgiati Bridge will close off the Manufacturer’s Road and Manning Street exits, so to as to keep people from trying to come into the area when so many other people are trying to get out.

Other major changes will be the changing of a number of downtown traffic lights to flashing

Here is one of the more interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the Tuesday, June 22 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

yellow and station officers at each intersection to manually direct traffic. Among the traffic directions will be a near-universal restriction of left-hand turns. The emphasis will be to get vehicles out of downtown to the major roadways as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Whether or not these changes will help re-

mains to be seen. But no one can fault the department for not using every person available to help. Even Interim Chief Mark Rawlston will be helping to direct traffic. So, as you leave the festival this Saturday night, you might want to keep a camera handy. It’s not every day you see a police chief directing traffic.

Making Habitat a Work Habit The local Habitat for Humanity chapter is looking to fill the position of AmeriCorps VISTA Resource Development staffperson.

Responsibilities include, among others, recruiting volunteers, assisting in creating a total resource campaign, and creating marketing materials and social media tools. The ideal candidate will have a BA in communications, business, public relations or nonprofit administration management.

The federally funded stipend is only $833 per month, but there are numerous other benefits—not least working for an organization that helps so many others. For more information, or to apply, contact Dawn Hjelseth (423) 756-0507.

6. Ordinances – First Reading: a) An ordinance to amend Ordinance No. 12288, entitled “An Ordinance, hereinafter also known as ‘the FY2009/2010 Budget Ordinance’, to provide revenue for the fiscal year beginning July 1, 2009, and ending June 30, 2010, and appropriating same to the payment of expenses of the municipal government; fixing the rate of taxation on all taxable property in the City, and the time taxes and privileges are due, how they shall be paid, when they shall become delinquent; and providing for interest and penalty on delinquent taxes and privileges.” So as to provide for certain changes in appropriations set out in Section 6.

Approving the annual city budget is always one of the most difficult things the city council has to accomplish every year, even more so this year.

A proposed property tax increase has mobilized protestors to an extent that has not been seen in many years and created a lot of discussion—and even dissension—among council members.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agenda and minutes from past meetings, visit www.

Chattanooga.gov/City_Council/110_Agenda.asp

www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

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Beyond The Headlines

By Rebecca Cruz

Stand & Deliver: Safety, One Idea T

he more I heard about the vision of Stand & Deliver: Safety, the more it all made sense. So many people in my circles had been dismayed by a string of especially violent incidents in just a few short months in Chattanooga. Dozens of shootings, burglaries, assaults, home invasions…by the time the news of five people getting injured when random shots were fired into a crowd of hundreds of teenagers in Coolidge Park back in March, it seemed like only one incident among many others... just one symptom of a much bigger issue.

What do we do? While Stand & Deliver: Safety is not the answer to the question, it may be the conduit in which that answer will be delivered. The next step of transition from the data gathered during the Stand survey is to engage Chattanoogans in tough conversations about the issues we face, tackle them as a community, and, ultimately, make an impact on everyone.

“Then there are the kids they must say ‘no’ to. At one time, Keith was calling teams all over the area, trying to place 120 players, who desperately wanted to play baseball.”

Since safety concerns seem to be the highest in most priority lists, it was the right place to get started. Where do we start? With a summer-long, community-wide action plan, incorporating ideas that could make a big difference in our community, professionals who volunteer their time to help mold those ideas into actionable plans, and even more volunteers and supporters who will, ultimately, transform some of those plans into executable programs.

My co-worker and friend, Keith Landecker, has one such idea. In fact, it’s more than an idea already. Keith created and

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co-founded a program making an impact in our community, and he’s been executing that program out of his own pocket. A longtime Chattanoogan, Keith has served as Program Director of WJTT Power 94 for decades. Yet I have a feeling another title means as much to him, if not more: “Coach.” Three years ago, when his son showed an interest in playing baseball, Keith decided to start coaching his son. Almost immediately, other boys began asking him to coach them.

Keith describes his eye-opening experience, when he began to see a huge gap between other boys his son’s age who showed a desire to participate, but had no access to such activity. Many came from single-parent homes, some with little or no contact with their fathers, and even less with positive male role models.

Keith, who joined a Police Youth Athletic Baseball League in his hometown of Detroit at a young age, credits the program and the mentors he called “coach” for helping him achieve much of what he has accomplished. He began searching for a similar program in Chattanooga, only to discover that, although such a program existed at one time, it was dismantled several years ago.

Keith began coaching the boys himself. Using the same type of structure he used with his own son, Keith teaches his players character building, life lessons, teamwork, and he demands his players be respectful and focus on hard work and school. With three other coaches, he co-founded the Babe Ruth—Cal Ripkin League, including four teams of young baseball players.

In the past three years, Keith has seen his players grow tremendously both as players, as well as young men with bright futures ahead of them. Grades have improved along with attitudes, and lifelong friendships have been forged among players. The downside? The teams don’t have permanently ballfields. While Keith’s team has been allowed access to Tyner’s ball field, maintenance is a daily job, usually provided by Keith, the other coaches, and some parents. Uniforms, equipment, transportation, even many meals, are usually provided by Keith and the other coaches.

Then there are the kids they must say “no” to. At one time, Keith was calling teams all over the area, trying to place 120 players, who desperately wanted to play baseball. While most recreational facilities are wonderful assets for kids up to age 12, there very few facilities and programs designed for older kids. This group is the most vulnerable to negative influences like gangs or drugs; yet, the same group finds little access to

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Keith Landecker public recreation. Financial requirements, locations, lack of transportation are just a few of the obstacles keeping hundreds— maybe thousands—of kids from getting involved in a positive activity, kids whose lives we have the opportunity of steering in the right direction, who could, more easily, choose another path.

Stand and Deliver: Safety is directing efforts to mold our community into the “Ideal Chattanooga” we described in Stand surveys. Because Keith Landecker juggles two full-time jobs between his radio duties and his volunteer work as a coach, my contribution is to take Keith’s idea of an athletic youth program and expand it to reach as much of our community as possible.

From partnerships to successes to pitfalls, I will document the experience along the way.

To get involve in any part of the Stand and Deliver: Safety process, visit ChattanoogaStand.com. The next meeting, “One Goal, Many Approaches” takes place at noon, June 23, at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. For more information, give them a call at (423) 648-2195.

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• Good old-fashioned police work has led to the arrest of a man who recently held up a convenience store.

Detective Tim Tomisek is being credited by department officials for his work in tracking down the man accused of the Hixson Pike hold up. Tomisek made an extensive examination of vehicles that matched the one used in the robbery, which had been caught on surveillance video. He was able to track the man down to his residence after a partial plate matched up with the man’s vehicle registration. Once there, he arrested him without incident. The suspect is being held on $210,000 bond in multiple charges relating to the armed robbery.

• A loan of a car + a friend of a friend = a sad situation. A woman told police that she had borrowed a friend’s car to go to college classes, when another friend asked for a ride. The friend said she was interested in enrolling in the college. However, once there, the woman said the friend got bored and asked to borrow the keys to the car, saying that she would prefer to wait there until

class was over. When class was finished, the woman couldn’t find her “friend” or the borrowed car, both of which are still missing.

• Of the many ways to express your interest in someone, throwing bricks through the window is not very high on the preferred list. An Arlington Avenue woman told police that she was in bed when she and her boyfriend heard the sound of breaking glass coming from the living room. When they got up to investigate, they found that a brick had been tossed through a window.

While they were starting to clean up the broken glass, they saw a man throw two more bricks through the bedroom window and then run away. They were able to clearly identify the man, who has a record of harassing the woman.

Warrants of vandalism have been taken out for the brick thrower.

• Police officers often hear some very odd stories from people who are

The List Types of Hawaiian Shirts 1. The All-Over Print The most common type of Hawaiian shirt, the all-over print is full of flowers or leaves (or both) that repeat all over the shirt in a seemingly random pattern.

2. The Border Shirt Border designs are characterized by a large design that is usually about a foot wide and repeats horizontally across the shirt. Some border prints are as simple as some flowers or surfboards going across the chest.

breaking off a relationship. A lady over on Dodson Avenue called police after having a problem with a recent breakup.

She told officers that she had been living with a man for about a year and a half, but had decided to end the relationship.

However, in the process of moving out, she said the man kept her big-screen television set and VCR. When officers questioned the man about the items, he told them he had thrown them away. The woman was advised to take the matter to civil court.

3. The Engineered Shirt Very similar to the border design except instead of repeating every 12 inches, they repeat every 18 inches.

4. The Vintage Aloha Vintage designs are shirts that are either replicas or aloha shirts from the 1930s or are at least inspired by those designs. Just as someone wearing clothes from the 1930s would stand out in modern society, so does the vintage aloha shirt. It’s hard to describe in words, but you know it when you see it.

Source: Hawaiian Outpost

www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

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Shrink Rap

By Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D

The Power of a Quivering Voice T

“Speaking up

for yourself is a seed. It begins a process. Others take notice and before long, the seed grows into a community movement.”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his new wellness center, Well Nest, at www.

WellNestChattanooga.com, and his web site at www.DrRPH.com

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his was a Shrink Rap topic exactly two years ago during Riverbend, and a couple of friends of mine asked me to revisit it again this year. In their words, “it raised eyebrows and made us think.” It all started with a bumpersticker I saw at one of the concerts. It read: “Speak your mind, even if your voice quivers.”

I thought, “Right on!” I loved it because speaking one’s mind is, to me, a self-esteem issue. It’s far too often that the oppressed, downtrodden, and belittled do not speak their minds (nor do they have anyone speaking for them). Why would they? They’ve been stepped on all their lives. With enough input that you’re not worth listening to, that you’re a secondclass citizen, that you have nothing to offer, well, gee…I guess you’ll learn to keep your head down and your mouth shut.

So the black person who’s taught that he can’t go to college, finish college, and make something of himself…won’t.

So the gay person who’s taught that he doesn’t deserve to have his long-term, committed relationship recognized in the eyes of the law or the church…will believe that his has no validity.

So the woman who’s taught that there’s no breaking through the glass ceiling to actualize her talents—those talents being equal to or greater than her male colleagues’ who earn higher salaries…will settle.

So the young child who’s taught that children should be seen and not heard, that none of the grown-ups have time for her, that no one’s going to get around to helping with her homework…soaks in a pervasive message about her importance in this world.

Unless…

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Unless the black person summons the courage to stand up and ask for a way into college.

Unless the gay couple fights for the 1,000-plus legal benefits denied to them but afforded to their married heterosexual counterparts.

Unless the professional woman speaks up about her qualifications with confidence, and asks for what she deserves.

And unless the small child somehow develops the fortitude to eventually reject esteemdamaging messages and learns to believe in herself.

These voices have been shouting and quivering throughout history, often in the face of harsh consequences: minority rights, women’s rights, children’s rights. So what’s all the fuss about? H’mm. Let’s think about this a moment.

African-American voices are responsible for desegregation, blacks more fairly portrayed in the media, and why conscious individuals no longer use the “N” word. Why do “those homosexuals” need parades? Well, who’s going to stand up and say, “Claim your rightful place in this world and show people that we’re all just people”, and start them thinking about the last group of Americans still denied basic rights such as hospital visitation, inheritance, and job security?

Who says women’s contributions are inferior to men’s? I bet it’s not the women.

And who’s ignoring the young child, thereby teaching her, loudly and clearly even without words, to live a life of unworthiness, to find adult relationships in which she is treated poorly, and to pass along the “less than” message to her children, and their children, and their children?

Speaking up for yourself is a seed. It begins a process. Others take notice and before long,

the seed grows into a community movement, leading, hopefully, to understanding and inclusiveness, a righting of wrongs. Much of my practice over the years has been working with individuals who have their hands full just learning to undo the teachings and preachings from their childhood that taught them they are not OK, not enough, not loveable.

Others I’ve worked with are among this country’s movers and shakers whose tireless efforts have role-modeled the importance of fighting for fairness, changing laws, and increasing understanding. Where are you along this continuum? Do you need to speak up—if not for yourself, for someone you care about? Do you need someone to speak up for you?

I saw something else at Riverbend. I saw that guy with the big cross on wheels, with signs condemning obscure celebrities to eternal hell. What? His comrade across the street was holding a sign with similarly hateful damnations. I think it was about unwed pregnant mothers—or puppies—who knows.

But I suppose they believe that following their toxic example will help us sinners head heavenward.

This got me thinking about people who speak loudly, not to lift themselves up from oppression nor to help others, not really; but to proclaim their superiority; to devote themselves to the “You’re going to hell unless you believe like I do” school of thought. Are these the voices of hope, intelligence, and enlightenment, or the voices we must speak up against? Or perhaps, to simply ignore, thus removing their power.

You decide.

Until next time: “Be happy. Be grateful.

Mostly, be kind.” — Mayme Baker

www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

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Cover Story

Why We Don't Graduate

By Janis Hashe

“It’s not hard to see why these kids aren’t finishing college. It’s not that students don’t want to be there, it’s that they can’t afford to be there.”

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Talk about your competing statistics: The

2000 Census revealed that only 21.4 percent of Tennesseans had a four-year degree. In Chattanooga, according to a recent Brookings Institute study, the number rises to a less-thanwhopping 23.4 percent. According to the spring issue of the UT magazine Tennessee Alumnus, UTC’s graduation rate is 39.6 percent, the worst among the UT campuses. But according to that same source, quoting “Complete College America,” by 2020, more than 60 percent of new jobs will require college education.

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

So why the disconnect? Why don’t those who enroll in college stay to graduate—and what’s being done to address the issue, both locally and statewide?

Teacher Diane Trim identified a number of issues in a January 2010 article on the web site Inside the Schools called, “Why Don’t Students Finish College and What Can We Do to Help?”

She notes, “A Public Agenda Report found that 45 percent of students at fouryear universities work 20 hours or more.

More than half of the community college students work more than 20 hours a week and more than a quarter work 35 hours or more. Twenty-three percent of all college students have children…

“It’s not hard to see why these kids aren’t finishing college. It’s not that students don’t want to be there, it’s that they can’t afford to be there. When faced with the reality of work-schedule and school-schedule conflicts, many choose work instead.”

Trim also cites “myths” about college students: that they go through a “meticulous process in choosing their school" (among drop-outs, this is not at all true), and that "students who don’t graduate understand the consequences of leaving school without a degree.

“Students who leave college realize that a diploma is an asset, but they may not fully recognize the impact dropping out of school will have on their future,” says Trim. “In high school, fewer of the college dropouts thought that they’d attend college than the college graduates. Fewer dropouts thought that their teachers believed they’d attend college. They didn’t have their family’s support, either. The dropouts’ families didn’t value a college education as much as those of college graduates.”

And there is also the huge issue of students’ lack of preparation for college-level classes. More than 50 percent of freshmen at both Chattanooga State and UTC are required to take remedial classes in English, math—or both. Says Michelle Olson, director of educational outreach programs and retention at Chattanooga State,

Cover Story “There is a lack of understanding about what it takes to be successful [in college], the number of hours of studying required. And some students have a hard time admitting they need help.”

At UTC, Dr. Mary Roland, director, center for advisement and student success, echoes Olson’s statement.

“According to the research, college students have several problems that can impede student success and interfere with college graduation rates,” she says.

“That is, college readiness and academic preparation are essential for incoming students. Some UTC students experience problems with class attendance, time management and test preparation. In addition, not asking for help and giving up can interfere with college graduation rates.”

Students' Stories “CJ” spoke with me while riding a bus in Manhattan, where he’d moved after dropping out of the University of Alabama after his first year. “It was a big party and a whole lot of fun,” says the Chattanooga native. “But I didn’t know what I wanted to do.” Now the manager of a company that supplies medical supplies to Upper East Side hospitals, CJ is adamant that his lack of a degree has not held him back.

“In this economy, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” he says. “A general business degree doesn’t count nearly as much as experience in this field.” He’s also happy not to be saddled

with the huge student loan debts of some of his friends, noting that one reason some students are able to graduate is that their parents can pay for them to stay in school.

Yet, asked if he thinks not having graduated will ever impact him, he’s thoughtful. “If I find something in an industry where a degree is required, I might go back.” If he does, he says, it would be partly to prove to himself “that I can finish.”

“JC” is currently a Chattanooga State student, having attended UTC for a year, followed by a semester at ITT Tech in Nashville. He’s completing studies in computer programming—but the journey has been a difficult one.

“I was completely unprepared for becoming a college student. I lacked the social skills for it, “ he says. “Also, I never really knew what I wanted to actually do with myself. I might have had some vague ideas and some pipe dreams. I had intended to take a full year off from school, travel a bit, and just use the time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life…but apparently if I wasn’t in school I was going to fall off my father’s insurance policy and that was just ‘too damned important to lose’. Which resulted in my entire first year at college being a huge mess because I was just trying to take the classes I wanted to take, classes that sounded interesting. I was trying to broaden my knowledge of various aspects of the world, so that I could find something that I wanted to pin down and pursue more closely. But it just resulted

in a lot of failed classes and falling into depression.”

JC is aware, that, as he puts it, the biggest obstacle to his graduation is, “Myself. Especially in my early college years, I would often see one too many instances of some guy who was doing perfectly well for themselves or was even filthy rich (like Bill Gates) and they had never gone to college. I pretty much made myself believe that I didn’t need college and I could get a good job without a degree...that it was just a matter of getting myself into the workforce, gaining some experience, and running with it from there. There was also the thought that I could just teach myself everything I needed to know by myself, by reading up on things online.”

The difference for him has been identifying what he wants to do postcollege. “I finally have an idea of what I want to do with myself,” he says. “I have a direction and a goal. That motivates me to work harder in school and do the best I can to achieve those goals, because I want to be able to land that computer programming or IT job that I’m hoping for. I don’t want to spend another waking second behind a cash register at a Walmart. And I want to be able to say that I completed a degree because I wanted to and not because I ‘had to’.”

What Needs to Be Done, What Is Being Done Michelle Olson at Chattanooga State

Where The Jobs Will Be: Where Will They Be? According to a U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics study released in 2009, “The 15.3 million jobs expected to be added by 2018 will not be evenly distributed across major industry and occupational groups….

“Employment in professional, scientific, and technical services is projected to grow by 34 percent, adding about 2.7 million new jobs by 2018. Employment in computer systems design and related services is expected to increase by 45 percent, accounting for nearly one-fourth of all new jobs in this industry sector. Employment growth will be

driven by growing demand for the design and integration of sophisticated networks and Internet and intranet sites.

Employment in management, scientific, and technical consulting services is anticipated to expand at a staggering 83 percent, making up about 31 percent of job growth in this sector. Demand for these services will be spurred by businesses’ continued need for advice on planning and logistics, the implementation of new technologies, and compliance with workplace safety, environmental, and employment regulations.” www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

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Cover Story “I pretty much made myself believe that I didn’t need college and I could get a good job without a degree.” says that colleges and universities are well aware that more needs to be done to increase graduation rates. “And there is a need for all aspects to work together,” she says. Programs available include a mentoring initiative, “critical intervention for those students who have one foot out the door,” and an early-alert system to communicate about at-risk students.

“For low-income students, there is Project Ahead, which offers substantial assistance. We also have WIA [Workforce Investment Act] for unemployed and underemployed students, and there are additional resources available from Veterans’ Affairs,” she says. “As an institution, it’s our responsibility to put the pieces out there for success, and get students to learn about and take advantage of the resources.”

At UTC, Dr. Mary Roland cites several programs: Freshmen Academic Success Tracking (FAST), an attendance-tracking program that encourages class attendance for freshmen-level courses, a new Center for Advisement and Student Success (CASS), staffed with professional advisors along with academic programs such as supplemental instruction and tutoring, and “new courses, ranging from the transition from high school to college, to when students go on probation after the first semester to help them return to good standing, to one-hour topic courses taught by faculty and new learning communities.”

However, she says, “Students are responsible for their own learning. They need academic tools and discipline and they should utilize campus resources.”

On the “financial stress” front, colleges are looking into the possibility of “e-books” that may substitute for outrageously high-priced textbooks.

For example, the text required for an “Introduction to Theatre” class costs $100 new. Since required text are frequently

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

updated or changed, insufficient numbers of used textbooks are common. Students who try to get through an entire semester without completing required reading are at high risk of failure.

Student “JC” suggests several ideas that from his perspective would help students stay in school: “Tell people the truth about jobs.

Yeah, you could drop out and get a job, if you’re lucky or if you have the right connections. But unless you enjoy working a cash register or flipping burgers, or you’re big on heavy construction or factory labor, then there really isn’t much out there that you can do in the job market without a degree.

“Improve the credit system. Instead of forcing people into classes that have no relevance to what they’re, give them electives within their own fields that their time would be better spent taking. And if they really MUST take an oddball course that they don’t understand why they need, then do a better job of explaining to them why it is necessary. ‘Because that’s what the school board decided you need to take’ is not a reasonable excuse.

“Monitor professors more closely. Some professors are dicks. Either they don’t listen or they don’t cooperate or they won’t help you or they’re never around or they don’t uphold their own syllabus policies or their grading methods are just outright horrendous or (on rare occasion) they actually have no idea what they are talking about in regards to the subject matter they have been asked to teach. Simply asking for the anonymous opinions of students at the end of the semester is not enough. By the time anyone could get around to reading such opinions, the damage has already been done.

“And probably most importantly, help students figure out what they want to do with their lives.”

Cover Story

The View from Nashville: Senator Andy Berke We asked State Senator Andy Berke, an outspoken advocate of support for higher education, several questions about graduation rates.

The Pulse: According to a Brookings Institute study, only 23.4 percent of adults 25-plus in Chattanooga have a bachelor’s degree. This is the lowest among Tennessee’s four major cities, and 15 percent lower than the national average. In your opinion, what factors contribute to this low rate?

Andy Berke: We need to address this problem from top to bottom. Educational attainment and income are directly related, so our lack of college degrees restricts our economic development opportunities.

Education is a ladder, and we need to strengthen every rung. Every child deserves an excellent education, and an excellent education begins with a quality teacher in every classroom. Whether it is pre-K, elementary school, middle school, or high school, we must ensure that our children receive instruction and support that allows them to excel. You can’t get to the top of the ladder without a strong rung at each level.

TP: One of the major problems is students who drop out of college once enrolled. What is being proposed on a statewide basis to address this?

AB: This year I co-sponsored the Complete College Tennessee Act, which reforms our higher education system. We want to change the incentives. Currently, the State funds are college based on attendance on the fourteenth day of the fall semester. This incentive has increased access—we are doing well on people starting college. We need, however, to encourage completion.

Even our most successful institution has a graduation rate of barely 60 percent.

We are now going to fund schools based on their ability to move students forward from year to year and graduate them. The more students a school graduates,

the more we will fund them. This should lead to innovative strategies, from simplifying community college timing issues so working students can graduate to calling roll in classes so we can identify absentee students and provide them support.

TP: In an article by teacher Diane Trim, she cites a Public Agenda Report, saying “The study also found that students want to take classes in the evenings and on weekends. They’d like more financial aid for part-time students who are trying to work and go to school. Many students would like access to affordable day care options while they take classes. These are important changes, but not really changes that teachers can make.” What do

you feel statewide and locally could be done to support these requests?

AB: Get involved. I sponsored a bill in 2008 that added 10 million dollars of scholarships for our lowincome students. Yet we still have tens of thousands of students who qualify for scholarships but for whom the State lacks enough funding.

In these tough budget times, we do not have the resources to provide more scholarships. As times turn, however, citizens need to contact legislators and encourage them to support legislation that promotes quality education initiatives and leads to higher college graduation rates.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

13

Music Feature

What’s Up With the Joneses?

Y

ou may have already heard the rumors that Up With the Joneses are over...or at least over as we know it. Considering this band has been a local staple in our music scene for more than 12 years, I thought it might be best to find out what was going on. Matt Bohannon, one of the founding members, has quit the band. Adam Brown, the drummer and recording/ mastering guru for the last eight years, is also taking a step back.

What now? What’s going on?

Well, this is what I gathered:

By Hellcat

“I think it’s kinda crazy to go on without Matt, but I also think it’s crazy not to continue. I mean, it’s definitely going to change, but I don’t think it has to be negative.”

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Hellcat: Why did you make the decision to leave?

Matt Bohannon: A few things, really. I did a lot of soul searching and in a way, even though, I love these guys and our musicianship is stronger than ever, I just thought it was time for me to move on both musically and spiritually.

Adam Brown: I am at a point where I think that I need a break from it all. After moving down here and shedding all of the other projects I had, which I did to focus on the Joneses, Matt announced his decision and I just wanted a break. I needed to recuperate and rejuvenate myself musically, and just in general.

HC: What are your thoughts on the rumor that the Joneses may continue on under the same name?

MB: T.J, being the lead singer, is kind of our spokesperson. When I made the decision, I said if they wanted to continue it then I didn’t have a problem with it. I think that other people might

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

feel funny about it continuing without me. But the songs are just as much mine as they are anyone else’s in the band. The rumor of them continuing as Up with the Joneses without me and Adam, is news to me. I would think that Dan and TJ would reinvent themselves. I don’t mean this as a joke, but call it TJ Greever. Everyone knows who he is in this scene. If he feels like he can fill our shoes and continue on in our path, then I am OK with it. But I’d like to know if that’s the plan. I’ve written riffs through the years, but we made them songs together.

AB: As far as the band name ownership, I’ve always known the Joneses to be the collaboration of Matt Bohannon and TJ Greever, together as songwriters. I don’t feel like I own any part of the name, so nothing would bother me. I think any departure from the original definition would be a completely different entity. If you were asking me, as a fan, I’d want to see the name changed. But he has every single right to keep the name.

MB: If I were in his shoes, I would start from scratch.

HC: What are your plans from here?

AB: None, as far as live music goes. I plan on concentrating more on recording and producing, which I’ve been getting more into over the past five to six years. Among the recording projects I am working on, is a complete reorchestration of the Rocky IV original motion picture soundtrack.

MB: To continue on and grow as a musician and travel down the path of my long-lasting life.

My solo effort and The Bohannons each have an album to complete.

HC: How do you feel about being done with the Joneses?

MB: We’ve had an awesome run. End to a great era. I stand by my decision, I feel like it’s time to move on. We’ve been through a lot, and

grown up together. I’ve thought about this for a long time, and I’m ready to let go.

AB: It’s every emotion. I feel like it’s an opportunity for the legacy to be left behind, everyone to move on, and focus on being newly creative, and finally to put everything to rest.

Everybody get fresh. Just vibe it up. (Matt agrees.)

After meeting up with Matt and Adam, I called up TJ to see what his thoughts were on everything.

HC: What are your plans now that Adam and Matt quit?

TJ Greever: I don’t know. It’s not like Adam quit, he just needed a break. Whether it’s Up with the Joneses or not, to get another group together, we’re still going to be playing music. It might still be Up with the Joneses, because it’s my baby. If the Joneses can go on, then we will.

I think it’s kinda crazy to go on without Matt, but I also think it’s crazy not to continue. I mean, it’s definitely going to change, but I don’t think it has to be negative. Use the Black Diamond Heavies as a reference. They changed their lineup dramatically and were successful with it. I love Matt and Adam, and support whatever they do. Some things you don’t understand, but you can’t change the way people feel. Dan and I are going on, in some way, whether it ends up being the Joneses or not.

The band’s last show together, will be on June 26 at JJ’s Bohemia. TJ says they will be playing a 40-song set that covers their history as a band.

If you haven’t ever seen Up with the Joneses, you should come out, as it may be your last chance.

Up With the Joneses $7 Saturday, June 26, 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

New Music Reviews

By Ernie Paik

Club 8

Rangda

The People’s Record

False Flag

(Labrador)

(Drag City)

The seventh album from the Swedish duo Club 8 is the one most likely to get odd or polarizing reactions from listeners. For the most part, in its 15 years of existence, Club 8 has delivered intentionally small, seemingly insular, yet charming pop music including willowy acoustic numbers, dreamy chill-out music, clean electro-pop, and tunes with a tinge of bossa nova. On The People’s Record, the duo has stepped out of its skin with a brazen, full Afro-pop sound employing additional musicians; fans might do a bit of head-scratching, and others not so forgiving might think the group has a lot of nerve. Those who are hung up on the notion of authenticity may take issue with two Swedes appropriating West African rhythms or even accuse them of jumping on some left-of-the-dial globalization bandwagon and possibly wanting to be the next Vampire Weekend.

After listening to the album, one would reasonably conclude that authenticity isn’t the point. “Western Hospitality” kicks things off in a big way, showcasing the group’s new bag of tools with an insistent rhythm with handstruck drums, a syncopated electric guitar melody, background singers, and an organ fluttering in the high registers. However, singer Karolina Komstedt doesn’t dramatically alter her singing style to match the group’s new, animated musical approach; mostly, her vocals remain cool, slightly aloof, and pretty, while never dragging down the proceedings. When called for, her singing becomes nimble and effervescent, like on the standout “Shape Up!” which uses the great (and generally underused) trick of following an upbeat verse with a slower chorus. After the infectious three-song salvo comes a darker, minor-keyed tone, with “Dancing with the Mentally Ill” followed by “My Pessimistic Heart”; the tone pops up in odd places, like on the ironically lively “We’re All Going to Die,” with a catchy delivery of the song’s title for the chorus. The album’s second half doesn’t offer drastically different expansions on the first half ’s ideas, so it doesn’t seem as fresh; however, fake Afro-pop or not, the best moments of The People’s Record are concentrated, deliriously spirited, and spotlessly executed.

Named after the evil, child-eating demon witch from Balinese mythology, Rangda is a fearsome new instrumental trio which evokes both chaos and a sort of grand, American mysticism, using both compositional and improv approaches. It’s comprised of guitarist Richard Bishop, formerly of the mindblowing, unbelievably eclectic and prolific Sun City Girls, guitarist Ben Chasny of the often acoustic, sometimes droney Six Organs of Admittance, and drummer Chris Corsano who has performed with artists as diverse as Björk and Jandek. The band is a testament to the power of a deadline, when skilled and creative musicians such as these are involved; apparently, before booking its first live show and recording the debut album at hand, False Flag, the group had only played together for an hour and a half.

No single player dominates the album or band’s direction, although elements of the players’ distinct musical personalities (or even split-personalities) are easily detected, like on “Sarcophagi,” the most reserved and meditative track on the album, which definitely leans toward the Six Organs of Admittance side of things. Bishop’s expert soloing shines through on “Bull Lore,” which has the pace and mood of a wind-swept western soundtrack; it’s a tense number, punctuated with gushing releases in the form of blasts of furious strumming and drum rolls. The album has moments of frantic disorder, such as the punishing two-minute opener “Waldorf Hysteria” and “Serrated Edges,” which sounds a bit like Dick Dale meeting Lightning Bolt. Though a little less unbridled and wild than the freak-out tracks, “Fist Family” just might be the album’s most difficult number, as it unleashes a sustained pummeling with discordant notes. False Flag ends with the 15-minute long “Plain of Jars,” which brings to mind some wide-open landscape in the American Southwest, using mallet-struck toms and wandering guitar lines with a few recurring motifs, ramping up to the glorious conclusion of an impressive, stirring debut album.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

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Music Calendar Thursday Spotlight

George Clinton and Parliament/Funkadelic Do not miss this chance to see the father of funk.

With Riverbend pin admission 9:30 p.m.

Coka-Cola Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com

Thursday Rock-It 5:30 p.m. The Chattanooga Market, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

The Nim Nims 6:15 p.m. Riverbend, Tennessee Valley Credit Union Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com My Epic, So Long Forgotten, A Hope for Home, Amity, The Ember Days, Abel 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Karaoke dance party with DJ Smith 8 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Crossfire 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Mark Holder 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996.

Open Mic with Gabe Newell 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market Street. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Channing Wilson 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Friday Spotlight

Karaoke 9 p.m. Images, 6500 Lee Hwy. www.imagesbar.com DJ Services 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

George Clinton 9:30 p.m. Riverbend, Coke Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com

Friday Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table Two, 232 East 11th St. (423) 756-8253.

Every Word A Prophecy, Axiom, Dispel the Serpent’s Lie, Covered in Scars 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

7 Walkers 7:15 p.m. Riverbend, Unum Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com Rock N’ Roll Spectacular 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Uriah Heep 7:45 p.m. Bud Light Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com Stevie Monce Trio 8 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Sum Ever After 8 p.m. Magoo’s, 3658 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. (423) 867-1351.

Of Truth, Ray Charles Death Tempo 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 634-1074. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Dave Walters Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424- 3775. www.chattanooganhotel.com

Paul Smith and the Bourbon Street Band 9 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

No Big Deal 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Live DJ Party 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

Ivan Neville’s Dumpstaphunk 9:30 p.m. Riverbend, Unum Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com Downstroke 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

The Nim Nims, Pauseworld 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Karaoke 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com Jacuzzi Boys 10 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. (423) 386-3066.

The Distribution 11 p.m. Riverbend, Tennessee Lottery Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com Afterbend Party with 7 Walkers and Dumpstaphunk 11 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1835 Carter St. www.subversiveactivities.com

Saturday New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (706) 820-2531.

7 Walkers, Dumpstaphunk Coolest party in town. $15/$18 11 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1835 Carter Street. www.subversiveactivities.com Rock N’ Roll Spectacular 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Drivin’ N Cryin’ 7:45 p.m. Riverbend, Bud Light Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com Ogya 8 p.m. Riverbend, Unum Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com Rusted Skillet, Hold Fast, Dark Harp 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 634-1074. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Karaoke 8 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Highway.

(423) 821-9898.

Dave Walters Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424- 3775. www.chattanooganhotel.com Jacob Newman 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Dance Party 9 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Open Mic Night 9 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestuarant.com

Music Calendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Saturday Spotlight

Arturo Sandoval Grammy Award-winning trumpeter is a must-see.

With Riverbend pin admission.

9:15 p.m.

Tennessee Valley Credit Union Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com DJ Services 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

Arturo Sandoval 9:15 p.m. Riverbend, Tennessee Valley Credit Union Stage. www.riverbendfestival.com Slim Pickens with Humble Tripe 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Bossa Nova with Chick Drummer 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Moonlight Bride, MRP2, Brenn 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Sunday New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (706) 820-2531.

The Barker Brothers 12:30 p.m. The Chattanooga Market, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

Kofi Mawuko 2 p.m. The Chattanooga River Market, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

Sunday Spotlight

Dark Hollow Band 2 p.m. The Chattanooga Market, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. myspace.com/debbieslounge Irish Music Sessions 6:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Open Mic 8 p.m. Gene’s Bar & Grill, 724 Ashland Terrace, (423) 870-0880.

DJ Services 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

Karaoke with DJ Stoll 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Joshua Griffith Birthday Party 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Monday Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Paul Lohorn and the Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay Street. (423) 755-9111.

Gideon, Strengthen What Remains, Those Who Fear, Strength Within, With Increase 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn

James Breedwell Cabaret Showcase 9 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Tuesday Billy Hopkins 5 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table Two, 232 East 11th St. (423) 756-8253.

Karaoke 7 p.m. Magoo’s Restaurant, 3658 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

(423) 867-1351.

Open Mic Night with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Spoken Word/Poetry Night 8 p.m. The Riverhouse, 224 Frazier Ave., (423) 752-0066.

Open Mic with Hellcat 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Husky Burnette 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

James Breedwell Cabaret Showcase 9 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Karaoke with DJ Stoll 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Abby Go Go, Carnivores 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

The Barker Brothers, Dark Hollow Band Groove it up for Father’s Day at the Market.

Free 12:30 p.m. The Barker Brothers 2 p.m. Dark Hollow Band Chattanooga Market, First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Carter St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com Karaoke 10 p.m. The Big Chill, 427 Market St. (423) 267-2445.

Wednesday Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Johnny B and Friends 8 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Karaoke with Chase The Office, 901 Carter Street (inside Days Inn).

Johnston Brown 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Arlo Gilliam 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Sean Smith 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

Karaoke 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 .

Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777

www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

17

Life in the Noog

By Chuck Crowder

Putting Up With The Neighbors L

“My home is a

place I go to get away from people, not to deal with more people.

In fact, I barely even know my neighbors.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website www.thenoog.com

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ook at the person to the right of you, and now to the left. Currently, they are your neighbors. Maybe not for long, but for the moment they’re sharing the same space you occupy.

And like it or not, you are required to put up with whatever they do, say, think, look like, smell and wear until one of you decides it’s just too much and moves.

Your whole life you’ve had to put up with neighbors, whether it was the other babies in the hospital nursery, the kids that sat around you in class, the neighborhood geeks and bullies that ravaged your home life, your roommates in college, the noisy people on either side of your first apartment, the live-in girlfriend or wife, the cubicle dwellers at work or the people who chose to buy houses right next door to you.

We live in a society where there are always going to be other people around us.

It’s a matter of fact. We can’t get away from people. They’re the worst. They drive us nuts. They’re too loud, too opinionated, too smelly, too dumb, too smart, too nosey, too rednecky, too uppity, too chatty, too quiet, too neat, too creepy, too old school, too nice, too mean and/or just too there all of the time.

But for some strange reason we need them. Neighbors help us out. Your neighbors at the office might pick up your pages off the printer and drop them by your desk. Your neighbors on the road

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

might let you merge in front of them. Your neighbors at the coffee shop might pass you the ketchup. And your neighbor at home might pick up your mail or mow your lawn while you’re on vacation. It’s all part of “being neighborly.”

Sometimes it can be a little much. One of my neighbors will talk your ear off if you happen to make eye contact with him on the way out. Apparently because I bought a place near him, we’re automatically friends.

That must have been in the fine print of the closing documents I skipped over after the lead paint disclosure. Regardless, I’m always “in a hurry” as a result.

One neighbor finds it necessary to remind all of the other neighbors to “be a good neighbor and scoop up your dog’s poop” by placing signs in his yard each time an infraction has occurred. Another neighbor and her kids must be locked out of the house because they live in the back yard, all day long in the heat of summer.

Personally I didn’t buy a house with air conditioning so I could stare at the outside of it sweating like a pig.

As you might have surmised by now, I’m not very neighborly. My home is a place I go to get away from people, not to deal with more people. In fact, I barely even know my neighbors. I can tell you the name of every waiter or waitress in any one of the places I hang out, but I can’t for the life of me remember the guy’s name next door who is neighborly enough to take both of our trash cans out (and back in) each Thursday. And that’s sad really. I

should know better but neighbors in my book are—no offense to any of mine who happen to be reading this right now— necessary evils.

I’ve had my share of cool neighbors and of course my share of obnoxious ones. My first apartment was a run-down place off Ely Road and my neighbor at the time was this biker dude named Andre. We ended up being good friends, but at the time there were a few occasions when Andre rubbed me the wrong way, just by being himself. There was the winter he spent rebuilding the engine of his motorcycle in his living room, and would open the front door to let the exhaust fumes out each time he had to crank it up. Or there were the many occasions when his apartment, my apartment, and likely a one-mile radius of his stove blossomed with sweet scent of fried Spam. Yum. But Andre taught me a thing or two about putting up with a thing or two—and when not to.

Currently the owners in my townhouse row are up in arms about the middle unit.

It seems that an unfortunate foreclosure prompted an investor to buy the place for pennies on the dollar. And of course he rented it to the most responsible tenants who applied—a bunch of college-age punks with 23 inch rims on de Escalades who I’ve been told earn a living playing online poker. Nice. And yes, they constantly throw loud, unneighborly parties much to our dismay.

But hey, what are neighbors for?

www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

19

Arts & Entertainment

Southern Waves of Achievement

By Michael Crumb

“So much work, exacting and expressive, invites viewers to engage facets of Southern experience with deep concentration.”

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More than 50 artists present their works in a broadly inclusive perspective of the African American Southern experience.

My own experience of viewing this show propelled me into a sense of levitation.

So much work, exacting and expressive, invites viewers to engage facets of Southern experience with deep concentration.

Like last year’s “Collaborations” show, the range of styles and the dedication to artistic vision overwhelm with a sense of greatness.

The important difference of “Southern Journeys” involves the presentation of the development of African American art. Regarding the comparison of these two shows, it is probably fair to say that “Collaborations” presented the fruition of contemporary African American art, while “Southern Journeys” shows the process of its development over decades.

To consider one example, “Ship”, by John Barnes, Jr. (1971, acrylic on wood), possesses significance beyond most works.

"Nap", by Mitchell Noon A surreal merging of a childhood dream with difficult realities of adult vision, “Ship” challenges perceived categories he opening of “Southern of “painting” and “sculpting”, partaking Journeys” at the Bessie Smith of both with a dynamic minimalism, Cultural Center presents an combining found materials and elegant pigmentation. A virtual anthem of hope, intimate and diverse overview this improbable vessel reminds us how of a half-century of African greatness can inhabit the most unlikely forms. The synthetic vision that produces art American art. This exhibition has remains an important aspect of every good been organized by the Stella Jones art piece, but works that succeed at making Gallery of New Orleans, under the this synthetic vision their focus realize a consummate artistic ambition. curatorship of Eloise Johnson and The eloquent notes that accompany Stella Jones. This show will continue “Southern Journeys” provide a sense of here for much of the summer. various stages of artistic engagement

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with the Southern experience. Again, the diversity of artistic expression here truly inspires; the intricacy of execution and terrific abstraction arrest attention.

These notes also mention “postmodernism”, and I want to remind viewers that postmodern art demands engagement. Most importantly, the postmodern impulse operates from a participatory field of mutual respect between artist and viewer.

The notes also discuss how this postmodern context has allowed folk art greater recognition for its significance.

I have also discussed before how artistic passion can elevate folk art to a significant achievement. In my essay on “Collaborations”, I explained that African American art is often less concerned with a “polished” fine-arts presentation than with its artistic expression.

Marketing art seeks to preserve a kind of fetishism of traditional media and subjects for the sake of commodity value.

Artists do need to make a living, but such strictures have created a disparity between monetary value and aesthetic value. Our collective consciousness thrives on works that can provide insight and that can help us understand how to live better.

Southern culture has great impact on our larger global culture—as exemplified in “Southern Journeys”.

“Southern Journeys” June 18 – August 11 Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658

A&E Calendar Highlights Friday

Thursday

Chris Scarborough: Drawings and Photographs See this innovative artist before his show closes on June 22.

Free 11 a.m – 5 p.m.

AVA, 30 Frazier Avenue.

(423) 265-5233. www.avarts.org

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Lotus Love Belly Dancers 5:45 p.m. Unum Stage, Riverbend Festival, 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 756-2211. www.riverbendfestival.com The Art of Wine Appreciation 6 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033.

Chattanooga Photographic Society of Chattanooga Meeting 6:30 p.m. St. John’s United Methodist Church, 3921 Murray Hills Rd. (423) 591-2910.

Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Art by Susan Creswell Pasha Coffeehouse, 3914 St. Elmo.

(423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com “Growing up Jewish” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270.

“Art Works in the City” City Hall, 101 E. 11th St. (423) 425-7823.

Ellen Franklin Art Gannon Art Center, 3250 Brainerd Rd. (423) 622-8236.

Reception for “Southern Journeys: African American Artists of the South” New show features 58 artists from throughout the South.

Free.

6 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658 www.caamhistory.org

Saturday

The Crucible Arthur Miller’s classic look at paranoia at the CTC. $10 - $20 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Stage, 400 River Street.

(423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Hubble in 3D 11 a.m., 1, 3, 5, 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Wild Ocean in 3D Noon, 4, 6 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Korean Dancers 6 p.m. Unum Stage, Riverbend Festival, 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 756-2211. www.riverbendfestival.com Short Attention Span Theatre Festival 7:30 p.m. St. Andrews Center Theater, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Big Eddie Caylor 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com The Crucible 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210.

“Abraham Lincoln: A Man of His Time, A Man for All Times” Chattanooga-Hamilton Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5317. www.lib.chattanooga.gov 32nd Annual Tennessee Watercolor Exhibit Olan Mills Bldg., Chattanooga State Community College, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 478-5262.

“Fresh Coastal Scenes” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com Smith-Cleary Photography and Printmaking Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.

“Birds of a Feather” Houston Museum of Decorative Arts, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com “Classic Sonnets with Lyric Poems” My Color Image Boutique & Gallery, 300-A North Market St. (423) 598-6202.

Sunday Shuptrine Fine Art Group Open House 10 a.m. Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496.

Hubble in 3D 11 a.m., 1, 3, 5, 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Mosaic Market 11 a.m. 412 Market St. (corner of 4th/Market) (423) 624-3915.

Art Til Dark Noon. Northshore, (423) 413-8999. arttildark.wordpress.com Wild Ocean in 3D Noon, 2, 4, 6 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Mystery of the Time Machine 1 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Short Attention Span Theatre Festival 2 p.m. St. Andrews Center Theater, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.

New Voices Poetry Reading 6 p.m. Pasha Coffeehouse, 3914 St. Elmo. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Big Eddie Caylor 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Mystery of the Red Neck Italian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com “Emerge” The River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com “Fresh Coastal Scenes” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com

2010 Piano Arts Competition Winners’ Recital Young winners of classical music competition play Bach to Gershwin.

Free.

3 p.m.

UTC Cadek Recital Hall, UTC. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music

Short Attention Span Theatre Festival 3 p.m. St. Andrews Center Theater, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Jeanne Abbot Studio 2/Gallery 2, 27 W. Main St. (423) 266-2222.

“Southern Journeys” Chattanooga African American Museum, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658.

Dan Williams Photography Bill Shores Frame and Gallery, 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 756-6746. www.billshoresframes.com “Transformation 6: Contemporary Works in Glass” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944.

Summer Salon Hanover Gallery, 11 Frazier Ave. (423) 648-0533.

Whitney Nave Jones Art Mosaic Gallery, 412 Market St. (423) 320-6738.

“A Natural Order: The Work of Sherry Leary and Tiffany Pascal” Landis Gallery, AVA, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282.

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A&E Calendar Highlights Monday Comedy Hypnosis Stage Show 8 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) Speak Easy: Spoken Word and Poetry 8 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9040. www.mudpierestaurant.com “Jellies: Living Art” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org “Chris Scarborough: Drawings and Photographs” AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282. www.avarts.org “Relationships: Original Prints and Jewelry of Mary Quinnon Whittle” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214.

“Power\Plants” Asher Love Gallery, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 822-0289.

“French Venues” Linda Woodall Fine Arts, 7836 Ooltewah-Georgetown Rd. (423) 238-9985.

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Tuesday Flicks Café: Running on Empty 6 p.m. Chattanooga-Hamilton Co. Bicentinal Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5317.

Nicely Walking Tour 7 p.m. Corner of 6th St. at Regions Bank, 721 Broad St. (423) 265-3247.

Art by Susan Creswell Pasha Coffeehouse, 3914 St. Elmo.

(423) 475-5482.

“Growing up Jewish” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270.

“Art Works in the City” City Hall, 101 E. 11th St. (423) 425-7823.

Ellen Franklin Art Gannon Art Center, 3250 Brainerd Rd. (423) 622-8236.

32nd Annual Tennessee Watercolor Exhibit Olan Mills Bldg., Chattanooga State Community College, 4501 Amnicola Hwy.(423) 478-5262.

“Fresh Coastal Scenes” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

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Wednesday City Share: “Pinpoint Ideas and Bright Spots” Noon. Create Here, 55 E. Main St. (423) 648-2195.

Joseph Campbell Roundtable: “Ways of Knowing” 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 894-5371.

“Abraham Lincoln: A Man of His Time, A Man for All Times” Chattanooga-Hamilton Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5317. lib.chattanooga.gov Smith-Cleary Photography and Printmaking Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.

“Classic Sonnets with Lyric Poems” My Color Image Boutique & Gallery, 300-A North Market St. (423) 598-6202.

“Emerge” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033.

Jeanne Abbot Studio 2/Gallery 2, 27 W. Main St. (423) 266-2222.

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Walking Tour of Downtown Chattanooga Stroll from 6th Street to Ross’s Landing with Chattanooga History Center’s Dr. Daryl Black, and learn about the history of the area, including the historic Bee Hive fire.

Tuesday, June 22 $3 (reservations required) 7 p.m.

(423) 265-3247, ext. 10. www.chattanoogahistory.org

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On The Beat

By Alex Teach

Back From the Brink Tolkien once wrote “…Not all

those who wander are lost.” I used to wonder about that, but not so much these days.

I sat in a rocking chair on my front porch in relative darkness watching a lightning storm dance above the ridge top across the valley where my home was perched.

Random lights pulsing through clouds otherwise hidden by darkness, white-hot fire orchestrated by nature into shades of violet and purple I recalled seeing nowhere else…until my damnable memory traced it to the bruises on a woman’s cheek or the soft flesh of a child’s arms. The hues lost their majesty, but it was still an incredible show.

I remember a time before seeing bruises was a common occurrence on the job.

When fresh or dried tears provoked an emotional response, and when politicians seemed noble and kinglike. I’d been fascinated by lightning storms since I was big enough to nearly fit between a screen door and the door behind it. (Meaning yes, I have an unusually long memory. I’ve described rooms from when my age was measured in months, though I can barely remember my own birthday on a calendar When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not or where, for the love of God, my coffee patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional mug is throughout the day.) student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and Cold mist would blow on me and I spends his spare time volunteering for the would giggle, and though thunder travelled Boehm Birth Defects Center. To contact up though tiny feet, I felt safe in proximity him directtly, follow him on Facebook at to the house.

I loved the feel of nature even www.facebook.com/alex.teach

“As a test, I conjured the image of a longhaired man in a tie-dye shirt carrying a hemp backpack, in sandals that displayed filthy, feet walking into a convenience store, and my contempt returned like a swell of bile.”

then; now it is still as fascinating, but also comforting as I am brought back to those times. It seemed scary at first glance in my dreams, but the more I thought about its predominance in the worst of them, the more I now believe it was surrounding me to protect me. Strange…but again I digress.

My transition from normalcy to whatever it is cops become was not abrupt, but it was tangible. Pools of blood across hot concrete highways and patios would wrinkle a nose and the wailing of loss would evoke a deep response, but they simply became backgrounds after a while, and the emotional responses effectively had to be faked. I didn’t go crazy, or anything; these are coping mechanisms, perfectly normal. (I’ve been told by Experts.)

Then something funny happens: After years of this “coping” (hitting your buddy with a piece of skull, determining what meal resulted in the vomit now before us, making jokes out of hearing loss after a shooting, eating a Subway B.M.T. on white bread with a dash of ranch next to a fresh suicide while Crime Scene piddles around), sometimes…you go back “inside”. You get a job off or away from the streets, and like leaving any battlefield, old habits return and so do, little by little, those normal emotional responses. You feel you don’t have to treat the world with contempt and disgust for its likelihood of trying to kill you or at least lie to you. Your guard comes down, way down. And like regular people, you wind up a victim.

I’d felt strange for some time now; strangely vulnerable, but ready to shed my old carapace in order to be open to the warming embrace of sharing a load and working towards common goals for the common good since everyone was kindly and noble now…and it resulted in me getting pretty well blindsided, but not the kind involving Sandra Bullock or Tim McGraw. I’d become a True Believer again, and had my ass handed to me as a result.

I was dealing with this calmly, slowly… plagued by headaches starting at the base of my skull and occasionally reaching with stainless steel fingers into the backs of my eyes, when the bitterness I felt about this had a sudden and unexpected result: It pushed the pain and the confusion away, and made me feel warm all over again like when I was two years old and giggling behind a screen door: I’d rediscovered roots that had not been reached by this frost.

“Cynicism,” a mentor once said, “is like an old friend; like silence, it rarely betrays you.”

As a test, I conjured the image of a longhaired man in a tie-dye shirt carrying a hemp backpack, in sandals that displayed filthy, feet walking into a convenience store, and my contempt returned like a swell of bile. I smiled.

Thunder again rolled over the ridge… and I softly chuckled. I had been wandering, all right…

But alas, it seemed I was no longer lost.

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Film Feature

By John DeVore

The A-Team Gets a C-Minus I

f you like silly movies—and if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your money—and if you don’t mind two hours of erratic explosions, predictable plots twists, and frequently repeated one liners, maybe you should see The A-Team.

The ’80s most famous soldiers of fortune have made their silver screen debut, a mere 24 years after the show’s initial cancellation.

By 1987, Americans had grown tired of weapons made from household appliances, perhaps craving the realism of shows like In the Heat of the Night or My Two Dads.

But Hollywood long ago discovered the relationship between nostalgia and ticket sales, thus allowing a new season of remakes and sequels to dominate the summer movie horizon until the leaves begin to change and the films destined for Academy Awards are once again allowed to creep into local Chattanooga theaters. There will be no Oscar for The A-Team but I expect that it will do well among those of us who had lunchboxes emblazoned with the face of Mr. T. Liam Neeson plays George Peppard playing Col. Hannibal Smith, the silver-haired leader of the group, who “loves it when a plan comes together.” He loves it so much that around 75 percent of his dialogue involves commentary on “the plan.” He’s a planner. He loves plans.

Everything is part of the plan. Get it? Neeson is always a welcome addition to any cast, and he does an admirable job with the material he’s given, but there are only so many cigars the man can smoke before he looks around and asks himself, “Wasn’t I in Schindler’s List?” and stalks off to find his agent.

We also have Bradley Cooper as Face, the lovable, pretty-boy conman who does his best to remain shirtless, lest the producers forget why they paid so much for his personal trainer. I suppose Cooper does a good job of following the spirit of the Dirk Benedict original; however, there isn’t much to be said about Cooper’s, or anyone else’s, performance.

These characters aren’t meant to be well acted. They are caricatures of stereotypical, formulaic television. Face likes the ladies and luxury. Murdock (Sharto Copley) is crazy and has no other definable characteristics.

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The parts are played as flat as they were written, and for the most part, it works. If the purpose of this film is to capture the shallow, male-centered action of the original series, then the filmmakers were overwhelmingly successful.

Yet not all of the actors live up to their predecessors. Understandably, B. A. Baracus is an incredibly difficult role to cast. I don’t think anyone would categorize Mr. Laurence Turead as versatile. Mr. T is always Mr. T, no matter what role he is assigned. Other than marginal differences, like aerophobia, B.A. Baracus and Clubber Lang are the same person. When recasting a role originated by Mr. T, the most important aspect is finding an actor who can play Mr. T. Unfortunately, UFC fighter Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is not that person. He doesn’t have the attitude, the vocabulary, or the voice to lend any sort of credibility to the portrayal. The film doesn’t need an actor at all, really. The film needs a Mr. T. Barring that, the character just doesn’t work. Also, there is absolutely no call to develop the character at all. For some reason, the writers felt that the character of B.A. Baracus was ripe for growth. But the audience doesn’t need B.A. Baracus to have a conscience. They need Mr. T to hit people and call them fools.

The story involves Iraq, a Blackwater knockoff, the CIA, stolen U.S. Mint printing plates, a Jessica Biel love interest, and a beloved general (Gerald McRaney, otherwise known as Major Dad.) If you have seen an action movie in the past 30 years, you can

probably piece together what happens from those details within the standard deviation of action-movie plots.

The only thing that stands out in this particular film is the lack of suspense during any of the action sequences. The audience can’t suspend their disbelief enough to sense any real danger for the characters.

It’s as if we were watching Batman, John McLane, MacGyver, and Keyser Soze take on Elmer Fudd. They can’t lose. Impossible, ridiculous, physics-defying feats occur every minute onscreen. No one notices, because real danger is implausible if not outright impossible. The spectacular special-effectsdriven climax made me wonder more about the logistics of cleaning up such a large mess than how the team was going to overcome the villains.

Ultimately, The A-Team delivers what most summer movies do: noise, nostalgia, and numbed senses. Most audiences like the familiar. We remember the A-Team fondly. We remember television without cold openings. We remember when theme songs made the show. We’ve all seen this movie before and we’ll see it again. Summer movies in the U.S. means a break from thought. The A-Team does its job, if no more than that.

The A-Team Directed by Joe Carnahan Starring Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharto Copley, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson Rated PG-13 Running time: 117 minutes

New in Theaters

By Gary Poole

Toy Story 3 After an 11-year absence, Woody, Buzz and the whole gang are back. As groundbreaking as both the first films in the franchise were, the state-of-the-art in computer animation has raised the bar, with this latest version arriving in full 3D. The story, as all Pixar stories are, is as important (if not more so) than the animation itself. As Andy prepares to depart for college, his loyal toys find themselves in a daycare center where untamed tots with their sticky little fingers do not play nice. So, it’s all for one and one for all as they join Barbie’s counterpart Ken, a thespian hedgehog named Mr. Pricklepants and a pink, strawberry-scented teddy bear called Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear to plan their great escape. Advance reviews are as nearly universal in high praise as a film could possibly wish for, but for those who have been following the work of Pixar Studios since their very first feature film know, this is merely what is expected from their animation geniuses. Never before has a studio had such an unbroken run of Jonah Hex The U.S. military makes a scarred bounty hunter with warrants on his own head an offer he cannot refuse: in exchange for his freedom, he must stop a terrorist who is ready to unleash Hell on Earth.

Starring Josh Brolin, Megan Fox Directed by Jimmy Hayward I Am Love A tragic love story set at the turn of the millennium in Milan. The

commercial and critical success, and Toy Story 3 will only add to the illustrious run of excellence.

Starring Tom Hanks, Tim Allen Directed by Lee Unkrich

film follows the fall of the haute bourgeoisie due to the forces of passion and unconditional love.

Starring Tilda Swinton, Flavio Parenti Directed by Luca Guadagnino Let It Rain A feminist with a role on the political scene returns for ten days to her family home, in the South of France, to help her sister set their deceased mother’s affairs in order.

Starring Jean-Pierre Bacri, Jamel Debbouze Directed by Agnès Jaoui The Killer Inside Me A West Texas deputy sheriff is slowly unmasked as a psychotic killer. What more can you say?

That’s pretty much the entire plot.

Starring Casey Affleck, Jessica Alba Directed by Michael Winterbottem

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Spirits Within

By Joshua Hurley

One Shot Is a Hot Shot

After weeks of wine, Riley’s

wants to offer something brand spanking new on the Chattanooga market in the ever-growing world of spirits for this week’s “Great Buy”—single shots of flavored or straight silver tequila, already in a shot glass called One Shot. Great Buys is a weekly column dedicated to educating the readership of The Pulse brought to you by Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson.

When you think of a desert, you might imagine a dry, barren, desolate place, devoid of life. As often is the case, looks can deceive. Take the blue agave, which is native to infertile, rocky soil, an unattractive, thorny cactus-like plant that can grow up to ten feet high with swordlike clusters.

The blue agave is the source of Mexico’s national spirit: tequila. It looks like an aloe plant and is in the same family as the pineapple. Once every 8 to 12 years, when the sap rushes to the base of the

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plant, the agave blooms, and the leaves wither away; leaving a 20-to-30-foot stalk with a pineapple-looking center that can weigh 75 to 100 pounds at harvest time.

After harvesting, the pineapple-looking part is removed and cut into pieces.

Half of it is steamed and cooked under pressure to turn the starches into sugars, while the remaining half is crushed to extract all the juices and then fermented.

Once fermented, the product is distilled two or three times, then transferred to oak barrels for aging.

One Shot uses 100 percent silver tequila, distilled with water to reduce its alcohol content to 80 proof. Distillation lasts 6 months, after which the tequila is transferred to a separate vat for flavoring.

Riley’s offers One Shot shooters in six different flavor varieties: Coconut, Peach, Lemon, Grapefruit, Apple and Coffee, and regular 100 Percent Silver. And in addition to a smooth silver tequila alone, or flavored to your liking, One Shot comes in a collectible 50mL shot glass!

Collect them all.

4-pack for $8.99, or $2.69 each. Prices are good only at Riley’s, Cheers!

JONESIN’

“Movie Madness” –be kind, can't rewind.

Free Will Astrology GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A lot of people never got the mothering they needed in order to grow up into the confident, secure lovers of life they have the potential to become. But even greater numbers suffer from a lack of smart fathering. And that happens to be the deprivation that’s most important for you Geminis to address right now. If there was anything missing in the guidance and mentoring you got from your actual daddy, I urge you to brainstorm about how you could make up for it in the coming months. For starters, here’s one idea: Is there any father figure out there who could inspire you to become more of your own father figure?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 1965, two Russian cosmonauts orbited the Earth in the Voskhod 2 spacecraft. Due to equipment problems, they had to land the vehicle manually. Instead of hitting the target area, they mistakenly set down in rugged mountainous country covered with deep snow.

While they waited overnight inside their capsule, wolves gathered outside, howling and pacing. But the next day their recovery team reached them and scared off the hungry predators. Soon they were safely on their way back home. Let this little tale be an inspiration to you, Cancerian, as you come in for your landing. Even though you may not end up quite where you intended, there’ll be a happy ending as long as you wait for your allies to be ready for you and you don’t try to rush your re-integration.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The ancient Greek philosopher Plato advocated the use of dogs in courtrooms.

He thought that canines were expert lie detectors; that they always knew when deceit was in the air.

I suspect you’ll display a similar talent in the coming days, Leo. You will have a sixth sense about when the truth is being sacrificed for expediency, or when delusions are masquerading as reasonable explanations, or when the ego’s obsessions are distorting the hell out of the soul’s authentic understandings. Harness that raw stuff, please. Use it discreetly, surgically, and with compassion.

Across 1 Grateful Dead bass guitarist Phil 5 Mosque figure 9 SeaWorld star attraction 14 Olympic figure skater Kulik 15 Style for Dali or Ray 16 Al who was A.L. MVP in 1953 17 Part 1 of headline 19 “___ To Be You” 20 “Well, shucks...”

21 Ballet bend 23 Spa nail treatment, for short 24 Part 2 of headline 27 Lb. and mg, e.g.

30 Yoko with the 2007 remix album “Yes, I’m a Witch” 31 Medieval protection 32 Owl sound 34 AP rival 36 Unspecific 40 Part 1 of the headline’s subtitle 44 Judge played by Sylvester Stallone 45 Up to now 46 Unlike copies: abbr.

47 Opera highlights 50 “American ___!” (Seth MacFarlane cartoon) 52 Nav. officers 53 Part 2 of the headline’s subtitle 58 1/63,360th of a mile 59 Pronto

60 Alcohol rumored to spoil after opening, in an “Arrested Development” episode 64 Improvised, like a committee 66 Part 3 of the headline’s subtitle 68 Leonard of “Star Trek” 69 Bank (on) 70 Wine sediment 71 “It’ll be ___ day in hell...”

72 Fort site, often 73 “Pardon the Interruption” network Down 1 Long ride?

2 “In the Valley of ___” (2007 Tommy Lee Jones film) 3 Belt one out 4 Soul legend Isaac 5 First name in “The Last King of Scotland” 6 Kudos, to rappers 7 Fred Astaire’s sister 8 Revolutionary doctrine 9 ___ Lanka 10 Game with a lot of passing 11 Urn contents 12 CNN “Morning Express” host Robin 13 Tore down 18 “Big Brother”’s Power of ___ 22 “The Name of the Rose” author Umberto

25 Heavy burden 26 Volcanic flow 27 Faith-based acronym on bracelets 28 “Kon-Tiki” author Heyerdahl 29 Beverage brand with a lizard logo 33 One way to kick it 35 Like winter weather 37 Word after call or ball 38 Dennis Haysbert show, with “The” 39 Poacher’s collection?

41 Funk 42 Popular fruit 43 List-ending abbr.

48 Broadway actress Salonga 49 “Open mouth, ___ foot” 51 “Whip It” band 53 “From This Moment On” pianist Krall 54 Like Sanskrit, Hindi and Bengali 55 Nincompoop 56 Circus performer 57 “The French Connection” character Popeye 61 Rick with a weekly Top 40 62 Hold on to 63 Part of ASPCA 65 “Singin’ in the Rain” actress Charisse 67 Lutefisk soaking agent

Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0472.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you’ve been aligned with cosmic rhythms these past few weeks, Virgo, you’ve been rising higher and feeling bolder. You’ve taken a stand on issues about which you had previously been a bit weak and cowardly. You have been able to articulate elusive or difficult truths in graceful ways that haven’t caused too terrible a ruckus. Your next challenge is to rally the troops.

The group that means the most to you is in need of your motivational fervor. I suggest that you think deeply about how to cultivate more dynamic relationships among all the parts, thereby energizing the whole.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Human beings are in a state of creativity 24 hours a day,” wrote Raoul Vaneigem in his book The Revolution of Everyday Life. “People usually associate creativity with works of art, but what are works of art alongside the creative energy displayed by everyone a thousand times a day?” I say “amen” to that. All of us are constantly generating fresh ideas, novel feelings, unexpected perceptions, and pressing intentions.

We are founts of restless originality. But whether we use our enormous power constructively is another question. Typically, a lot of the stuff we spawn is less than brilliant and useful. Having said that, I’m pleased to announce that you’re entering a phase when you have the potential to create far more interesting and useful things than usual— longer lasting, too.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you have been engaged in any S&M scenario, even metaphorically, now would be a good time to quit it. Whether you’re the person who’s whipping or being whipped, the connection is no longer serving any worthy purpose. The good news is that freeing yourself from compromising entanglements will make you fully available to explore new frontiers in collaboration.

You will also be blessed with an influx of intuition about how to reconfigure bonds that have become

By Rob Brezsny Truthrooster@gmail.com blah and boring. And what if you’re not currently involved in any S&M scenario? Congrats! Your assignment is to transform one of your pretty good relationships into a supercharged union that’s capable of generating life-changing magic.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I wouldn’t say that things are about to get darker for you. But they’re definitely going to get deeper and damper and more complicated. I don’t expect there to be any confrontations with evil or encounters with nasty messes, but you may slip down a rabbit hole into a twilight region where all the creatures speak in riddles and nothing is as it seems. And yet that’s the best possible place for you to gain new insight about the big questions that so desperately need more clarity. If you can manage to hold your own in the midst of the dream-like adventures, you’ll be blessed with a key to relieving one of your longrunning frustrations.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The eulachon is a fish that lives off the Pacific Coast of North America. Its fat content is so high that the Chinook Indians used to dry it, thread it with a wick, and employ it as a candle. The stink was bad, but the light was good. Remind you of anything in your life right now, Capricorn? Something that provides a steady flow of illumination, even if it is a bit annoying or inconvenient? I say, treasure it for what it is and accept it for what it isn’t.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When I was growing up in Michigan, playing in the snow was a great joy.

As much as I loved the arrival of each new spring, I endured a mourning period as the ground’s last patch of dirty sleet melted. Once in late March, though, I talked my mom into letting me store five snowballs in the freezer. It wasn’t until my birthday in late June that I retrieved the precious artifacts. I was slightly disappointed to find they had become more like iceballs than snowballs. On the other hand, their symbolism was deeply gratifying. I’d managed to invoke the tangible presence of winter fun in the summertime. I urge you to attempt a comparable alchemy, Aquarius. Figure out how to take a happiness you have felt in another context and transpose it into where you are right now.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Even Norah Jones got bored with Norah Jones,” wrote critic Aidin Vaziri in his review of her recent concert in San Francisco. For years she has tranquilized us with her safe, soothing music, he said, but not any more.

It was like she was fresh from a “makeover reality show.” Her new stuff, which included an “indie-rock jolt” and quasi-psychedelic riffs, exuded grit and defiance and weirdness. Norah Jones is your role model for the next couple of weeks, Pisces. If there have been any ways in which you’ve been boring yourself, it’s prime time to scramble the code.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Istanbul is the world’s only mega-city that spans two continents. Many Turkish commuters take the 15-minute ferry ride across the Bosphorus Strait, traveling from their suburban homes in Asia to the urban sprawl in Europe. I’m seeing a comparable journey for you, Aries: a transition that happens casually and quickly, but that moves you from one world to another.

Prepare yourself, please. Just because it unfolds relatively easily and benevolently doesn’t mean you should be nonchalant about the adjustments it will require you to make.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When you want to get rid of a weed that’s impinging on the autonomy of your growing tomato plant, you don’t just tear away its stalk and leaves; you yank it out by the roots. That’s the approach I urge you to take with the saboteur that has inserted itself into your otherwise thriving patch of heaven. There’s no need to express hatred or rage. In fact, it’s better to be lucid and neutral as you thoroughly remove the invasive influence and assert your right to care for what you love.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | June 17, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | The Pulse

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Ask A Mexican!

By Gustavo Arellano

More Minuteman Than Tu

“Mexicans can also hate their recently arrived brethren— it’s called assimilation, and it’s inevitable in this country for even the dumbest mojado.”

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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Dear Mexican, I’m a civil rights lawyer. I sue the San Diego Minutemen. Whenever the Minutemen are accused of being racist they always say something like, “I’m part-Hispanic,” or they’ll note that some of their members are Mexican. This last claim is actually true. Some of the most zealous Minutemen are actually MexicanAmericans. I’m 100% Irish. I don’t understand why the Mexican members of the Minutemen can associate themselves with a group that is so obviously racist. Can you explain?

— Mick Who Likes Spics Dear Mick, Gracias for legally sparring with the vilest section of the Minuteman movement, but you gotta give us Mexis some credit.

Just like micks became some of the most racist, corrupt pogue mahones in America, Mexicans can also hate their recently arrived brethren—it’s called assimilation, and it’s inevitable in this country for even the dumbest mojado. And just like micks can be stupid, so can Mexicans. For instance, a recent Arizona State University study showed that 81 percent of registered Latino voters in the Copper State oppose its anti-immigrant SB 1070 bill—the overwhelming majority of la raza, but that still leaves 19 percent of Arizonan wabs supporting a measure that would have them kicked across the Sonoran Desert in a heartbeat. You’ll have to ask each of those voters to explain their irrationality, but I’m happy that they exist—shows

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 24 | June 17, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

the Know Nothings that Mexicans don’t just reside in one political prism and are actually, you know, human.

As for the Know Nothings trotting out tokens or claiming they can’t possibly be racist because they’re “Hispanic” (quick aside: ever notice how racists can never bring themselves to utter “Latino” when lamely trying to pass themselves off as moderate?): it’s both an appeal to authority and appeal to sympathy, logical fallacies that only the dumbest pendejos use. Like the San Diego Minutemen!

Dear Mexican, The supermarket in my predominantly Mexican neighborhood has an astonishingly large inventory of douches on the shelves of the personal-care aisle. It’s easily ten times the stock of what the market carries in a more-Anglo neighborhood a couple of miles away. What gives with the douche fixation?

— La Gringa Dear Gabacha, Tú sabes—backward, warped views of human anatomy influenced by culture and religion. The 2006 study, “Vaginal Douches and Other Feminine Hygiene Products: Women’s Practices and Perceptions of Product Safety,” published in Maternal and Child Health Journal, found 15 percent of

Hispanic (there’s that word again!) women douche, compared with 9.1 percent of gabachas. But the two groups don’t come close to match the percentage of their negrita sisters who douche: 27.7 pinche percent. The same journal published another study in 2008, “Vaginal Douching Among Latina Immigrants,” which tracked the same douching rates for mexicanas.

Both cited the reasons I gave, while the U.S. Department of Health and Services opines most women who douche do it to try to eliminate vaginal odors and prevent pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Almost all the science shows that douching is about as healthy for a woman’s panocha as Tapatío, so Gringa: por favor educate your Mexi hermanas about the risks. And, while you’re at it, can you remind them to use protection during sex, especially the younger ones? We got pretty high pregnancy rates, too, tú sabes…