The Pulse - Vol. 7, Issue 29

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

FREE • News, Views, Music, Film, Arts & Entertainment • July 22, 2010 • Volume 7, Issue 29 • www.chattanoogapulse.com

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor / Art Director Gary Poole Advertising Manager Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Townes Webb Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Staff Photographers Louis Lee, Corinne Oglesby Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano, Erick Bhatnagar Rob Brezsny, Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb, Joshua Hurley Phillip Johnston, Mark Kehoe Matt Jones, Robert McCary Tara Morris, Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Jim Pfitzer, Alex Teach Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Josh Lang Editorial Assistant Sean Lee Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

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Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

22 2010

cover story

C

ontents

AL GA D e NU OO UN uls AN TAN RO he P AT G n T R CH DE k i e UN t we x ne

JULY

11 MICROBREWERIES: WHAT'S BREWING IN CHATTANOOGA?

By Jim Pfitzer It’s Wednesday evening and hopeful beer drinkers are spilling onto the sidewalk in front of Tremont Tavern. Along with those finding escape from the craziness inside are as many more jockeying for position to get in.

Did I mention it’s a Wednesday evening?

feature stories 14 MUSICAL MARKETPLACE

By Tara Morris The Chattanooga Market, held each Sunday morning at the First Tennessee Pavilion has been charming Chattanoogans for nine seasons now. The Market is the region’s largest producer-only market, representing more than 5,000 acres of local and regional farms.

20 SHADOW VISITATIONS

By Michael Crumb The Land of Shadow—a unique multi-media puppet installation will be presented Friday at Loose Cannon Performance Space. Four artists have collaborated to produce this show, which has been well received at venues in Brooklyn—and has now come to Chattanooga.

26 IN DREAMS BEGIN RESPONSIBILITIES

By Phillip Johnston While run-of-the-mill Hollywood hacks stuff their films with cheap wonders that fly at the face, Inception is that single summer blockbuster that inspires in its audience a genuine sense of wonder.

news & views 5 6 10 18 24 30

PULSE BEATS BEYOND THE HEADLINES SHRINK RAP LIFE IN THE NOOG ON THE BEAT ASK A MEXICAN

everything else 4 5 7 7 15 16 19 21 25 27 28 29

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR CITY COUNCILSCOPE POLICE BLOTTER THE LIST NEW MUSIC REVIEWS MUSIC CALENDAR SPIRITS WITHIN A&E CALENDAR DINING OUT JOY STICK FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

Letters to the Editor Peter Case Concert It’s a strange experience when you go to a show expecting one thing and get something completely different. Peter Case is going through a heavy electric blues phase. He showed up with a pick-up band that he’d apparently met in Atlanta last week; they were playing their first-ever show with him. They backed him with enthusiasm even while feeling their way through material that was totally new to them.

That material drew almost entirely from Case’s latest album of electric blues, his pre-1982 catalog with The Nerves and The Plimsouls, and exactly one song from the intervening 25+ years. It was fun to see the young ’uns appreciating the really early material, most of which would have been released before they were born. I finally got an idea of what it must have been like to be in that festival crowd years ago when Dylan showed up with a Stratocaster and a band. Fun. Different, but fun.

Mike Crowder How Many Shots?

This letter is in response to Alex Teach’s column “How Many Shots” from the July 8th edition of The Pulse. In his article, Teach questions the coverage from Sarah Jennings and WTVC during a recent officer-involved

shooting. He incorrectly writes, “do you know what was never asked? How many times the suspect shot at those cops?” He goes on to imply that it wasn’t asked because reporters consider it an irrelevant question.

Well I don’t. I was the reporter in the field that morning for WTVC so I know that question was indeed asked and covered several times.

During a live interview with Chattanooga Police Department spokesperson Rebecca Royval, I specifically asked if the offender fired at officers, if they were hit and if any were injured. I remember her answer. The man threatening suicide never fired his weapon.

All officers were safe. I repeated these facts during subsequent live shots from the scene.

Kevin Sims WTVC-TV Alex Teach responds: I could not agree more with your own personal professionalism, but I stand by my statement. If a “teaser” ad said “Kevin Sims Breaks Into Local Home” only to later reveal a story about you breaking glass to save a child, it would have the same effect to those watching (as I was) when your story only “teased” the subject of not knowing how many shots were fired four hours after the fact and nothing else. Content does not equal packaging,

my friend. Responsibility, however, still bears equal weight.

Going To The Dogs I was really enjoying the article [“This Town’s Going To The Dogs”, Life In The Noog] until the rant about women. I know a lot of men who can’t go anywhere without their dogs. You’ll see them driving along with the dogs hanging out the window of their car or riding in the back of their pick-up.

Carol Ann

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week:

A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“Numbers are up because the economy is still down. People are looking for opportunities to reinvent themselves.”

—Chattanooga State spokesman Jeff Olingy, responding to news that enrollment at the popular community college had increased by more than ten percent for the upcoming school year.

Volkswagen On Schedule Two Years Later “As we mark the second anniversary of that great day in 2008 when we announced our partnership with this city, I’m really very pleased to report that everything is on track,” said Frank Fischer, CEO and Chairman of Volkswagen Group of America, Chattanooga Operations. “In this short time, we are over 90 percent complete with the building construction, we have installed more than 400 robots, and have built the first new midsize sedans, which are being tested now,” Fischer said.

“We have spent over $686 million in local and Tennessee contracts, opened a $40 million training academy and are investing more than $5 million in public education,” Fischer continued. “We have hired nearly 900 employees and will continue the hiring process until we are fully staffed at more than 2,000 employees,” he said.

The number of employees includes 231 production workers Hamilton County and 75 skilled maintenance workers. They are joined by nearly 600 salaried workers and Volkswagen automotive experts.

“I visited the Volkswagen site in February and was overwhelmed to see the dramatic changes that have taken place in the past two years and in the decade since we first began developing Enterprise South,” said U.S. Senator Bob Corker. “Even in the midst of a challenging economic environment, 900 people have been hired and progress is being made in all aspects of the plant’s operations. I know we are all anxious for the day the first vehicles roll off the assembly line, and I am more convinced than ever that Chattanooga and the state of Tennessee have a first-rate partner and em-

ployer in Volkswagen.”

“What an incredible time for Hamilton County, as we have watched Volkswagen’s billion-dollar investment come to life before our eyes,” said Hamilton County Mayor, Claude Ramsey. “When we joined together to make the announcement at the Hunter Museum in 2008, we knew Hamilton County would never be the same and this is a change we happily embrace. Our people have opportunities before them that weren’t here two years ago. Our children will have opportunities waiting for them, if they meet the challenge of learning and training for the remarkably different jobs that are being created by Volkswagen and other

Here is one of the more interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the Tuesday, July 27 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

companies investing in our area. This has been a transforming two years and I believe our best years are ahead of us,” Ramsey said.

Let's Fly Away (Giant Scale) Airplane lovers, save the day: August 7, 2010. For on that day, the Chattanooga Radio Control Club is holding its annual giant scale aerobatic fly in, “The Chattanooga 3D Jam”.

This is the 10th anniversary of the event, featuring planes that are 40-to-50 percent scale models. The local nonprofit club is a member of the AMA (Academy of Model Aeronautics).

According to club member Owen Maupin. “The spectators absolutely love this event. We have some of the top pilots in the country… 30-plus pilots from seven states.”

The noon show features special flying demos, including Jeff Prosise from Knoxville flying a true turbine-powered F-16 jet. “We will also have a candy drop,” says Maupin. “Scott Cameron from Mobile, AL will be piloting his big candy drop airplane. He drops three pounds of candy per drop. We divide the kids up into age groups so the little ones don’t get run over by the older kids. It’s a lot of fun.

“The most amazing part of the noon show is the hover gaggle,” he continues.. “We have eightto-twelve of the giant aerobatic planes all take off together then come down over the runway and hover in front of the crowd. It’s an amazing display of skill and ability of pilot and plane.”

Cost is $10 per carload, with proceeds going to maintaining the flying site. Event site is Summit Field, off I-75, and starting time is 10 a.m. For more information and directions to the site, visit www.crccflyers.org.

7. Resolutions: a) A resolution authorizing the waiver of the landfill fees for the Chattanooga Area Food Bank, a non-profit corporation.

This is one of five such resolutions that would allow the Food Bank, Samaritan Center, Salvation Army, Bethel Bible Village and the Orange Grove Center to use the landfill for free.

Each of them are nonprofit, and this is merely one small way the city helps out these community organizations, though there are some who oppose allowing any private group—whether or not it is a nonprofit organization—to use for free what others, especially taxpaying organizations, have to pay for.

It is highly unlikely, though, that the resolutions won't be passed.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agenda and minutes from past meetings, visit www.

Chattanooga.gov/City_Council/110_Agenda.asp

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Beyond The Headlines

Cooking Oil

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By Mark Kehoe

“We were probably 100 feet up from the water. I would sit out on the deck and watch dolphins, giant turtles, and hammerhead sharks swim by.”

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n 1998, I worked on an oilrig off the coast of Louisiana, not too far from where the BP explosion took place in April. I’d been hitchhiking across Louisiana, when someone picked me up and told me about SHRM Catering out of Lafayette, which sends people to cook and clean on oilrigs in the Gulf of Mexico. Before I knew it, I was leaving Houma, LA in a helicopter headed to a Vastar rig 80 miles off the coast.

Once on the rig, you immediately feel the alienation from civilization. It was basically a little island in the middle of nowhere. We could see the lights of other rigs, and I used to joke that I wished Domino’s had a chopper so they could deliver to us.

My job was simple: Clean up and help Robert the cook. There were just two of us at a time to do the cooking and cleaning for about 25 crewmembers. The job was actually pretty easy, but the hours were long, 14-hour shifts every day for 14 days straight. Then seven days

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

off, which I would spend in San Antonio, TX. I started my shift at eight at night and worked until ten the next morning. I helped my boss in the kitchen, swept, mopped, made beds, and took out the trash. The best part was the view of the Gulf. We were probably 100 feet up from the water. I would sit out on the deck and watch dolphins, giant turtles, and hammerhead sharks swim by. Some of the roughnecks would even go down to the bottom deck and fish for red snapper. Then they would bring what they caught up to the kitchen freezer to take home with them.

Like I said, it was easy but so boring out there. After the first week, I started to get cabin fever and could not wait until my fortnight was up so I could get back to land. I was working at least 88 hours a week and making about $5.65 an hour. The last time I went out there, I worked four weeks straight. That was a 14hour shift every day for 28 days. After that month, I decided that oilrig life was not for me and I never went back.

As I look back, I can’t remember ever thinking about the possible dangers to either crewmembers or the environment. Even when the rig I worked on was evacuated because a tropical depression was coming through, I don’t think I acknowledged the damaging effects of harvesting oil in the Gulf. When the BP rig exploded in April, more than 100 crewmembers did make it to the shore alive.

Yet 11 men were killed in the catastrophe.

In fact, the current oil spill makes me think of some things that happened when I was in Alaska.

In 2001, while I was living in Anchorage, a man shot a hole in the Alaskan pipeline. He got drunk and took several shots at the giant pipe, hitting it once. The aerial view of leak

was really telling. You could see a single stream coming out of the pipeline and what looked like several acres of ground covered in oil.

Unlike the leak in the Gulf, a huge clamp was wrapped around the four-foot pipe relatively quickly. Overall, around 285,00 gallons, or a little less than 7,000 barrels were lost. Of course, that was just from one bullet hole.

The Alaskan pipeline actually travels south 800 miles from Prudhoe Bay to Valdez. A year before I was on the oilrig, I worked on a fishing boat out of Valdez and Prince William Sound. You might remember those places from the Exxon Valdez oil tanker spill in 1989.

The tanker lost around 11,000,000 gallons of oil. A barrel has about 42 gallons of oil. That means more than 210,000 barrels were leaked by the Exxon Valdez, which affected more than 1,300 miles of coastline.

My naked eye couldn’t notice any of the harmful effects. Yet, there are lasting effects of the spill. Oil contaminated the area and did irreparable damage to the ecosystem. Salmon, herring, birds, seals, and sea otters are just some of the many animals that suffered from the toxic oil.

The Exxon Valdez was considered a catastrophe and a disaster. But was just a fraction of what the current spill in the Gulf is.

The New York Times reported on June 25 that up to 60,000 barrels were leaking into the Gulf daily. This makes the Exxon Valdez oil spill seem like nothing, even though it was actually our country’s worst oil disaster at the time.

The current oil spill also makes me think of those days sitting on the deck of that oilrig and watching the dolphins and the water. It’s too bad that it takes something like what is going on now to realize how dangerous unchecked industrialism can be.

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• Ever been arrested over a turtle?

At least one local woman can make such a claim, after she was caught by an undercover operation organized by the Tennessee Wildlife Resource Agency.

The woman had advertised a turtle for sale on Craigslist, which led to an undercover buy by a TWRA agent. She was subsequently arrested and booked.

During her court appearance last week, the woman admitted that she knew it was against the law to keep turtles in captivity in Tennessee, but said she had been told the law was never enforced. The judge threw the book at her, fining her a grand total of $50.

• The life of a TWRA officer isn’t all about undercover turtle buys, though.

Another recent court case dealt with a man who got a wee bit too friendly with his girlfriend out on Lake Chickamauga.

Patrolling officers noticed the man having sex with his lady friend in plain sight on the deck of his boat. When officers interrupted the couple, the man turned out to be intoxicated. He was arrested and during his court appearance

last week was found guilty of boating under the influence. He had to spend the weekend in jail, pay a $465 fine and court costs and will have to do three days of public service, hopefully fully clothed.

• Who drives around with fully grown marijuana plants in their car? That’s a question that obviously came to the mind of a Cleveland police officer last week when he made a routine traffic stop at the corner of Chambliss Avenue and 20th Street late in the evening. Upon approaching the vehicle, he noticed several mature marijuana plants in the car. Figuring that it was highly unlikely the driver grew the plants in his car, officers got a warrant to search the man’s residence and uncovered 32 more plants.

He was arrested and faces a variety of charges relating to the possession and sale of a large amount of the wacky weed.

• However, even law enforcement officers can get a case of the stupids

The List Most Expensive Coffees 1. Kopi Luwak, Indonesia, $160 per pound 2. Hacienda La Esmeralda, Panama, $104 per pound 3. Island of St. Helena Coffee Company, St. Helena, $79 per pound 4. El Injerto, Guatemala, $50 per pound 5. Fazenda Santa Ines, Brazil, $50 per pound

when it comes to pot. A Cleveland police officer is looking for a new job after getting caught lying about evidence, specifically drug evidence. The officer, while working a wreck on APD-40, found a small amount of marijuana in the pocket of the accident victim.

Instead of turning in the drugs, he told his supervisor he had thrown it out the window. When he “discovered” the missing weed in his car the next day and turned it in, it was already too late. He was fired the same day after admitting to lying about the evidence. Once again, this is why we call it “dope”.

6. Blue Mountain, Jamaica, $49 per pound 7. Los Planes, El Salvador, $40 per pound 8. Kona, Hawaii, $34 per pound 9. Yauco Selecto AA, Puerto Rico, $22 per pound 10. Fazenda Sao Benedito, Brazil, $21 per pound Source: Forbes Magazine

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Shrink Rap

By Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D

Problems vs. Inconveniences R

“The question to ask yourself, especially during moments of stress, or days of negativity, is, Is this really a problem, or just an inconvenience?”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his new wellness center, Well Nest, at www.

WellNestChattanooga.com, and his web site at www.DrRPH.com

ecently I was able to spend a few days with one of my best pals, Craig.

Long-time Shrink Rappers have read about Craig before—he’s got a new heart, having had a heart transplant a few years ago; and he’s missing a leg, having lost it to complications from diabetes.

Life certainly hasn’t been a cakewalk for Craig, although he’s persevered through his unique life challenges with great dignity and kindness. He’s the type of guy who just doesn’t know any strangers: from the waitress at the diner to the guy begging on the street, he easily strikes up conversation with a charm that leaves the other person with a smile on their face. He’s just one of those people you’re glad you’ve crossed paths with.

Quite fortunately, Craig’s an occupational therapist, so he helps teach others how to navigate life’s rocky terrain. We had a conversation about life’s problems. Like the Chinese philosophy “In adversity lies opportunity,” we’re both firmly of the opinion that problems are, indeed, disguised opportunities for growth. Of course, some are more challenging than others, and often it’s difficult to see the gift of a growth opportunity when you’re right smack in the midst of the struggle. At such times one may wonder, OK, did I really ask for this lesson? Or, Does it have to be this hard? Or, Didn’t I learn this one already??

But during the course of our conversation we took it a step further, to differentiate between “problems” and “inconveniences.”

Sure, with the stressors of modern society, it’s sometimes easy to fall into negativity, and

as you walk through your day you may view minor annoyances through the lens of “here’s another problem I have to deal with.” The real problem with that is, of course, attitude: If you want to see problems, don’t worry—they’ll arise, and plentifully. You’ve read many times in this column the importance of attitude, and while it may be hard some days to turn it around, it’s helpful to remember that you are creating your universe as you go, and so how your day plays out is up to you. Negativity breeds negative experiences; and positivity breeds positive ones. “What kind of day do I wish to have?” is a healthy and valuable question to start your day with.

So back to my conversation with Craig.

We started to analyze whether certain life experiences, to us, were indeed problems, or simply inconveniences. Being stuck in traffic we decided is an inconvenience. It may be a problem, however, if there’s a pregnant woman in the back seat about to give birth!

Having to run back into the house for your car keys may be inconvenient. Four flat tires may be a problem. Everyone draws the line differently, but the question to ask yourself, especially during moments of stress, or days of negativity, is, Is this really a problem, or just an inconvenience? Making this your first step when encountering one of life’s endless “opportunities for learning” is very helpful in that the answer offers some direction as to how to proceed. Here’s what I mean: There are many motivational books that break down life’s challenges in an attempt to make them more manageable. One way is to see them along a continuum, perhaps from EASY to URGENT; or on a scale from one to ten, one being “NO BIG DEAL,” ten being “A VERY BIG DEAL.” Here’s but one way to sort

out these challenges that I think you’ll find helpful: It’s a PROBLEM, URGENT. Obviously this requires your immediate attention. So, after taking stock and a deep breath, you reach into your bag of tools and move forward. What is your time limit? Do you need the help of others? How would a wise and compassionate person proceed?

It’s a PROBLEM, but NOT URGENT. This kind of life lesson allows you more time to ponder, gather your wits and resources about you, and proceed in the best way you can. As always, consider asking others for help, and know that success will strengthen you for future trials.

It’s an INCONVENIENCE. Not urgent, not even a problem when you pause a minute to think about it. This is about attitude, meaning, how you deal with this annoyance is completely within your power. Is your glass half empty or half full today? Your answer will tell you if this issue will ruin your whole day, or be nothing more than a forgettable blip on your screen.

Of course, we don’t have to use Craig as our barometer for what constitutes a problem vs. an inconvenience. But it can be helpful to have someone who’s a positive role model for navigating life’s stressors. And to use each opportunity fully, asking yourself clarifying questions, and knowing when to reach out for help.

The benefit? Traversing life consciously, with self-awareness, and adding to your bag of tools in the process.

Until next time: “I’ve learned that we are responsible for everything we do—unless we are celebrities.” — author unknown

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Cover Story

Microbreweries:

What’s Brewing in Chattanooga?

By Jim Pfitzer

“The grand opening for the new Chattanooga Brewing Company is scheduled in conjunction with the Southern Brewers Festival on the last weekend in August.”

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t’s Wednesday evening and hopeful beer drinkers are spilling onto the sidewalk in front of Tremont Tavern. Along with those finding escape from the craziness inside are as many more jockeying for position to get in. Did I mention it’s a Wednesday evening?

Inside the small watering hole on Hixson Pike, the reasons for the hullabaloo are Mark Marcum and Jonathon Clark—a couple of guys following a very old Chattanooga tradition.

Ninety-five years after laws leading up to the 18th Amendment to the Constitution (aka Prohibition) forced the Chattanooga Brewing Company to close the doors of its downtown operation, Marcum and Clark are resurrecting the largely forgotten company that once dominated the local beer scene. Unfortunately, the recipes for the original Magnolia, Liebotschanerin, Imperial Pilsner, and other labels have been lost—but that isn’t keeping Marcum and Clark from bringing the spirit of the old brewery back to life while adding

Cover Story “Things got a little more interesting in the next glasses with the Smartass, which had a very interesting fruitiness ‘like opening a box of Wheaties…while pouring a glass of grapefruit juice.’” their own tastes.

Until recently, and for more than 15 years, Chattanooga was a one-horse town when it came to local brews. Only Gordon Biersch’s Big River was offering local beer. While they make a good product, they do it in nearly 30 other locations around the country as well, which makes them a little different than a stand-alone, local joint. As an up-and-coming renaissance town, Chattanooga needed local beer.

Finally, a year-and-a-half ago, the call was answered when the long-awaited Terminal Brewpub opened. Housed in a funkily shaped building with great history, a green roof with hops and basil growing on the perimeter, and tables made by a local artist, the Terminal boasts unique atmosphere.

It quickly became a hotspot for evening meetings, birthday gatherings, or drop-ins to see who’s hanging out.

I dropped into the Terminal on a recent night with a friend to try all six of their current offerings, which they delivered to the table on a wooden paddle in the same order as they are found on the menu, making for an easy tasting. We began with the Belgian White or Whitbeir, which turned out to be a lemony, refreshing beer—“summery,” we agreed. From the Belgian, we went to the American Copper Ale, which was a big departure from the cloudy wheat that preceded it. The Copper had a distinctly hops finish, but not too strong. We found it to be well enough balanced between malt and hops that even for a couple of beer drinkers who aren’t into the bitter “West Coast” style, we found it very drinkable.

The Terminal’s entry into the amber category, the Maibock, made both of our top two lists. Slightly sweet and malty, this was a beer had almost none of the hoppy finish of the Copper. I would be likely to have two or three of these tasty treats over the course of an evening (as long as I was walking home).

The next beer in the lineup was in the wrong place on the paddle. The Oatmeal Stout should have been last, as it tasted to us like a dessert. It more than hinted at

dark chocolate and coffee. According to my companion that evening, it had “a hint of sweetness, kind of ‘maple-ly’ but not sweet… just the idea of sweetness.” For me, just a taste of that beer was all I wanted.

The last two beers on the paddle were a study in contrast. The West Coast I.P.A. can be described with one word: hops. Either you like it or you don’t. This was the only beer in the lineup that neither of us finished, but like I said, we aren’t West Coast beer drinkers.

Finally, we tasted the Dunkel Weizen—my hands-down favorite. The menu called this category “sometimes smoky or chocolaty,” but I found it neither. It had all the wheat and barley that I like in a beer along with a fair amount of malt.

In the end, we were most impressed that the Terminal had six beers with six distinctly different personalities.

The next stop on my local beer tour has apparently been around since 2006, but I only discovered it very recently for some pretty obvious reasons. Unlike The Terminal with its prominent perch right next to the Choo Choo, Moccasin Bend Brewing Company seems to be hiding. Word of mouth led me to this unassuming, back-alley brewery and even though I have been driving by the building regularly for several years, I had a hard time figuring out exactly how to get in.

We noticed the little yellow sign advertising beer tours as we crossed St. Elmo Avenue heading south on Tennessee. I couldn’t help wondering how many times I had driven right by there without noticing it. Another block and we arrived at a building that appeared to be lifeless—no cars in the lot, an empty loading dock. After looking around, we discovered the steps leading down an embankment to what appeared to be an alley just south of the lot. Finally! Behind the building, a couple of tables sat next to an opening in the wall dressed with a mesh curtain. When we pushed back the curtain, there was no doubt we were in the right place.

Looking past the old jukebox and foosball table on our left, I was reminded of Shakespeare’s witches in Macbeth. Three men

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Cover Story “I dropped into the Terminal on a recent night with a friend to try all six of their current offerings, which they delivered to the table on a wooden paddle.” were looking into a large, sweet-smelling, bubbling cauldron. Not able to hear their voices over the juke box, I imagined one of them saying lyrically to the others: Round about the cauldron go; In the poison’d entrails throw.

Toad, that under cold stone Days and nights has thirty-one My hopes that a hello would be met by the three of them in unison chanting, “Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble,” were dashed when a more friendly greeting was offered and one of the three began telling us about the beer that was brewing in front of us. After a tour that consisted of standing in one place and answering the few questions we had, it was suggested that we have a taste. Across from the foosball, a small room housed a couple of tables and a young woman behind a bar.

Along the wall, a collection of albums stood on a shelf next to a stereo and turntable. The whole scene could have easily been in an unfinished suburban basement.

“How many beers you have on tap?” I asked the woman behind the bar.

“Nine.”

“What do you recommend?”

“Never tried any of them.”

“Huh?” Turns out our server was still a couple weeks shy of her twenty-first birthday and claimed not have tried any of the brewery’s offerings…yet.

We asked for a sampling of all nine, which she gladly drafted and lined up on a table for us. As we sat down, a couple of unexpected friends walked in and accepted an invitation to join us. Our server doubled the order and we began with the closest one.

With no descriptive menu or informative bartender, the tasting was confusing.

Occasionally we were able to get one of the witches to round the corner and answer our questions, but we were mostly on our own.

Unlike the beers at the Terminal, there were more similarities than differences in the first few beers we tried and the preferences of the brewers were obvious, and our table

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quickly formed alliances with and against.

The Welterweight, Pumpkinseed and Pumpkinseedless were way too hoppy for the tastes of my side of the table, and we all agreed that the Juniper Pale was very dry and had no discernable juniper.

Things got a little more interesting in the next glasses with the Smartass, which had a very interesting fruitiness “like opening a box of Wheaties…while pouring a glass of grapefruit juice,” we thought. The Chocolate Stout made us all want to light a cigar and sit by a fireplace.

The Rockin’ Chakra, a black I.P.A. led one of the tasters to declare that “it’s spunky and it confuses me,” and the Red-headed Stepchild lacked complexity and, again, was dominated by hops.

By far, the favorite among our group was the Centennial—a beer with a nice caramel aroma. The malt caught me right on the tip of my tongue, and unlike its hoppier cousins, it disappeared without bitterness. All in all, we appreciated the raw, unfinished atmosphere, but found the clever names of the beers and the company to be a lot more exciting than the beers themselves.

Now, back to the new kids on the block.

Marcum and Clark tapped their half-barrel keg of Imperial Pilsner at 7 p.m. and by 8 p.m., all the beer and the 100 glasses were gone. Fortunately, the Tavern had bought kegs of the Imperial and IPA to keep the beer flowing. Unfortunately, car trouble kept me from attending the event, but an e-mail from a patron calling himself “Ralphie Boy” said, “After drinking your Pilsner and IPA I can honestly say we have locally brewed beer that will challenge Europe. Absolutely stunning!”

I did manage a visit to the brewery itself located on Frazier Avenue, where I sat down with the brewers for a taste and their story.

They told me about Conrad Geiss, who opened the Chattanooga Brewing Company in 1890 in the block surrounded by Chestnut, Broad, 2nd and 3rd streets. Of course, at that time, there was no national distribution, so everyone drank local beer. According to the web site www.beerhistory.com, 2,830 ale and lager breweries were registered with the Internal Revenue Department in 1880, but by

Cover Story 1910, that number had dropped to around 1,500 due to improved production and distribution.

CBC shut down in 1915 as prohibition laws popped up in state after state—which were then capped by the ratification of the 18th Amendment.

That amendment was repealed by the 21st amendment to the Constitution in December of 1933, but by then, Chattanooga Brewing Company was largely forgotten.

It wasn’t until late 2009, that Clark and Marcum were having a beer at Tremont just after Clark lost his engineering job due to a factory closing. This is the way Clark recounted their conversation to me.

“What you gonna do?” asked Marcum.

“I’m gonna start a brewery,” replied Clark.

“I’m gonna start a brewery!”

“Let’s do it together.”

A half-year later, the two gesture to the shiny stainless and brass tanks around us and explain that the equipment came from a hops restaurant in Richmond via a used beer equipment dealer. Made by a company that is no longer in existence, the gear came with “no manuals, no documents, no information at all,” and it took the two engineers two months to figure it all out. “It was like a big jigsaw puzzle of wires and plumbing,” Marcum says. “We are starting to understand. I think we could write the manual for the stuff now.”

So far, they have only made three full batches—test batches, they call them—but they feel that two of them came out good enough to sell. The other fell victim to an electrical problem that left the beer with unregulated temperatures for a weekend, allowing the temperature to rise and the fermentation to run amok.

“We will continue to tweak the recipe, but they are good.

The imperial is pretty much what we want,” says Marcum.

“It’s like cooking. Not every batch is better than the last, but you just keep trying. We hope our customers appreciate that the batches will always change a little, but we are trying to be consistent with our recipe to get what we like.”

When I asked them about their decision to take on an historic Chattanooga label, they quickly agreed that they really want to be a part of the local community. “One of the things we did was to get into contact with Kelsey and Ashley

at Williams Island Farm to see if they could use our spent grain.” It turns out that what is waste for the brewery, makes for good compost, and animal feed. “When we brew, we line up with them to pick it up. Other (breweries) sell their spent grains, but we would rather give it to them. They get the nutrients, we get our grain gone,” says Marcum. “They haven’t had much luck getting the chickens to eat it, but they are using it for compost.”

They also recently teamed up with Link 41 on Main Street, providing them with beer to boil some of their locally made sausage in, and on the 28th of this month, they will be taking their brew to the monthly Green Drinks gathering.

To get a feel for what to expect from them, I asked the two what kind of beer they like to drink, and speaking as a true beer lover, Marcum says, “Well. on any given day… I like IPAs and pale ales, but I also like malty beers.” He says they are about to start a medium hoppy beer, with nice malty taste to it—a golden ale called Hill City Gold. Clark’s answer was similar. “It’s seasonal,” he says. “The golden ale is good this time of year. I like an Octoberfest in the fall, a stout or a

porter in the winter.”

“When it turns cold, you gotta have a dark beer,” Marcum adds.

As for what they plan on producing, they first described the Imperial Pilsner as “light bodied, relatively malty, with a fair amount of bitterness, but not really hoppy.” Marcum calls it a great summer beer that “an American beer drinker would like—a little more alcohol, a little heavier, but appealing,” He told me that the original company made a beer by the same name, in the same style. “We’re paying homage to the original.”

They will also pay homage to their more immediate NorthShore community by marketing their English- and American-style beers as Hill City Beers—a nice connection for the locals who know the history and the area.

Two beers they plan on brewing soon are Golden Ale, which both partners laud as a favorite, and an Octoberfest that they will brew, then let sit in the cooler for a couple of months—a lagering process in the Bavarian tradition.

They poured me a small glass of the Imperial, which as you might guess, I found a little hoppy, but easy to drink. A few days after that first taste, I was able to have a second one at Market Street Tavern. It wasn’t on the menu yet, but when I asked the server about it, she was familiar with it and brought it right out. I found the second one was a little better than the first, making me wonder if all this sampling might be changing my taste buds.

The grand opening for the new Chattanooga Brewing Company is scheduled in conjunction with the Southern Brewers Festival on the last weekend in August. After that, begin looking for their beer at other local taps and in their storefront at 109 Frazier Avenue, where they will offer tastings, and fill growlers and kegs.

I for one look forward to seeing what else they come up with, and you can be sure, like it or not, I will write about it.

I’ll also be eagerly listening for the next Chattanooga witch to join the movement and stir up a local brew.

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

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Music Feature

Musical Marketplace T

By Tara Morris

“With a few more months left in this year’s market season, director Chris Thomas informs me they will have acts out of London and from all over the United States.”

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he Chattanooga Market, held each Sunday morning at the First Tennessee Pavilion has been charming Chattanoogans for nine seasons now.

The Market is the region’s largest producer-only market, representing more than 5,000 acres of local and regional farms and with as many as 200 vendors rotating each week.

With all of this local love, we must remember that this market has been successful due to more then just peaches, barbecue, art, and NOOG T-shirts. Though each of these items is vital to building an amazing open-air market, the piece that gets you to the next level is the music. Being the social town that we are, we often find ourselves wandering about the market looking at shiny objects and greeting our around-town friends while letting the music fall victim to background noise.

Let me tell you that at the very end of the pavilion, there is a stage with a man at a soundboard. Connected to that soundboard are wires that hook into guitars, dulcimers, speakers, and more. The speakers are there to amplify the voice or sound of an amazing and carefully chosen artist. Every year there

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

are more than 400 submissions from artists all around the globe. Throughout the years, artists from New Zealand, Canada, and Australia have performed. Even two-time Grammy Award-winning artist/songwriter and producer Gary Nicholson has graced the stage.

With a few more months left in this year’s market season, director Chris Thomas informs me they will have acts out of London and from all over the United States.

Music during the day can be weird for some of us night owls. We are used to dark corners in which you can bang your head, or lights so bright they strobe and blind others from seeing us sing the wrong words. However, at noon, when you are trying to get that first beer (or even a lemonade) to clear yourself up, it seems odd letting loose at the market.

It’s OK, though, I promise. The idea is to sit, listen, get up, dance, clap your hands, or just enjoy the artists as they come through our town. It may be a bit awkward for them too, since I’m sure they are used to playing in those dark corners, or at least not really seeing that no one is paying attention or yapping the entire time they pour their heart out. But the market is a catalyst and home for traveling musicians. And nine out of ten times, these artists really bring a new light to your Chattanooga Market Experience.

Here is the line-up of Market Music for the weekend: Thursday Night Plaza Parties are held from 4 p.m. till 7 p.m. at Miller Plaza. This week begins a love affair between Plaza Parties and The Mountain Music Folk School of Chattanooga. Every other week they will keep it local as our MMFS friends play and the public enjoys being outdoors after a long day

in the office with music, cold beer, corn-hole, and vendors.

Saturday means the Chattanooga River Market, held from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. This is a newer entity in the Chattanooga Market family and is based at the Aquarium Plaza.

It’s a smaller version of the Sunday market for residents and tourists alike. Musical guests will include our own Jennifer Daniels and then the big sounds of the 1930s, ’40s and ’50s with the Uptown Big Band.

Sunday down by the Aquarium, Johanna Jacobsen and friends out of Nashville will play at the Aquarium Plaza from 11:30 a.m. until 3:30 p.m.

And the Sunday, from noon until 4 p.m. The Chattanooga Market will be a country kind of day. Now I would never admit to anyone, especially our readers, that I sometimes blare old-school country music in my car and then turn it to metal at the red lights, but even I can dig the sound coming from Nashville’s own band Kurtis and singer-songwriter Lyndsey Highlander. Then we can’t forget the Old Mill Kettle Corn Travelin Opry, which plays each week! Wear your boots, as not only will these artists be playing but it is also Bark for Life weekend. Bark for Life is an American Cancer Society event and the only Sunday you can bring your dogs to the Pavilion.

Maybe noon is a bit too early to start dancing and you need more then two beers to nerve up, but the music doesn’t only have to be enjoyed while having your Deli Rose or Lupi’s pizza. I encourage you to stick around a while and listen to the musicians that the great people behind The Chattanooga Market have chosen for you to hear. As Paul Smith plainly says, “We ALWAYS have Great Talent.”

New Music Reviews

By Ernie Paik

The Roots

Tatsuya Nakatani

How I Got Over

Abiogenesis

(Def Jam)

(H&H Production)

“OK, when is it going to kick in?”—that’s the question that ran through my head the first time I listened to the new Roots album, How I Got Over. I have high expectations for the Roots and have rarely been disappointed; the Philadelphia outfit has emerged as one of hip-hop’s smartest and most fascinating bands in its two-decade existence, formed by Black Thought, the group’s lead MC, and drummer ?uestlove.

The Roots distinguish themselves by making deeply absorbing and infectious music, delivered without posturing and with a high standard for live musicianship that’s enhanced—not dominated—by sampling. The band’s ninth studio effort doesn’t immediately knock the listener over, with a slightly more subdued, downcast tone than usual; I admit that it didn’t grab me until about the fourth listen, when I finally began to grasp what the album was trying to do with its slow-burn, gradually ramping approach.

According to the band, How I Got Over deals with “the everyman’s search for hope in this dispiriting post-hope zeitgeist,” conveying the gritty, not-so-rosy attitude that was presented on its immediate predecessors, the outstanding Game Theory and Rising Down.

The kinetic, soulful title track, featuring Dice Raw, serves as the album’s dark heart, expressing despair in lines like, “We dying to live, so to live we dying.”

There’s been much attention given to the album because of its nods to indie rock: members of the Dirty Projectors vocalize on the opening track and Joanna Newsom’s “The Book of Right On” and “Dear God (Sincerely M.O.F.)” by the Monsters of Folk (featuring Jim James from My Morning Jacket) are both sampled. These aren’t stunts—the samples were selected with care and their themes expounded, and Black Thought even ponders this new situation, including the band’s day gig as the house band on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, on “Doin’ It Again.”

The album sounds more defined and penetrating on each listen, and if you’re hung up on its indie-rock sources and more subtle style, well, get over it.

The latest album from the prolific recording artist and itinerant percussionist Tatsuya Nakatani is the complete opposite of what one might expect from an allpercussion album. It’s far from an onslaught of drum blasts and cymbal hits—instead, it takes a nuanced approach, exploring the possibilities of gongs and cymbals and coaxing out unusual sounds. Nakatani draws bows across the edges of his instruments, making them resonate with complex tones, whose timbres change gradually depending on the amount of pressure applied.

Some of the drones are low vibrations, bringing to mind scenes of deep space or disquieting science fiction soundtracks; these sounds have unique qualities, being both soothing and uneasy, like a massage from a faceless stranger.

Nakatani is a skilled drummer, capable of producing vibrant bursts and sonic fireworks, but on Abiogenesis, that’s not the general aim; the abstract pieces are more in line with ambient music, with sustained, otherworldly tones, but there’s also a sense of delicate drama with Nakatani’s subtle dynamics.

On the fourth, untitled track, he evokes an air of mystery by simply blowing on a cymbal, and the following piece has a small eruption of clattering metal and tense, scraping sounds. On track ten, Nakatani wrestles a dizzying array of noises that have a strangely vocal quality to them, ranging from squeals to painful moans. One of the album’s most eerie pieces is the thirteenth track, where lightly buzzing, sustained squeaks are prodded along with sporadic bass drum beats that reverberate with a solemn gravity; the rumbles and pitter-patters build to a restrained climax with constant, soft bass drum hits, eventually dissolving away.

This music may not be for everyone, as it favors sound over form and structure, and one definitely needs to be in a particular mood for it to sink in, with patience and a willingness to lose a sense of time.

But for willing explorers, Nakatani’s Abiogenesis demonstrates a compelling sound vocabulary and conveys elusive sensations through uncommon sonic meshes delivered with a controlled, understated style.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

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Music Calendar Thursday Spotlight

Rogue Writers Review, Eddies of the Wind Turn up the ecletic for this evening at JJ’s. $7 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Thursday Happy Hour Serenade with David Anthony 5 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Jimmy Harris 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Karaoke Dance Party with DJ Smith 8 p.m. Bourbon St. Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 697-9957.

Rogue Writers Review, Eddies of the Wind 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Tim Lewis 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Beer Pong Night 9 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Open Mic with Gabriel Newell 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Perpetual Groove 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Friday Spotlight

Soul Sessions 10 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253.

Friday Happy Hour Serenade with David Anthony 5 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

MeloManiacs 6 p.m. Bluff View Art District, Terrazine between Tony’s and Back Inn Café, 411 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033.

Ben Friberg Trio 6 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253.

Jimmy Harris 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Rock N’ Roll Spectacular 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

The Tim Hughes Quartet 7:30 p.m. Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538. blueorleanscreolerestaurant.com Mattoid with Faux Ferocious 8 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. (423) 386-3066.

The Suicide Doors, Bowster 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Protomen, How I Became the Bomb, Super 8 Bit Brothers, The Adventures of Duane and Brando 8 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Road, East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn

Moreland & Arbuckle 8 p.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. www.nightfallchattanooga.com Brian McDonald 8:30 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Camp Normal 9 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898.

Brookes Blues Band 9 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Black Friday 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

Bourbon Street Band 9 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Roger Alan Wade 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Oz and Jaynes 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240.

Racing Death, Dead Rabbits 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

Funktastic 5 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com The Wrong Way: A Tribute to Sublime with Kink Ador 10:15 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Saturday Kofi Mawuko, Tommy Cotter, Mike Hale, Elizabeth Miller 10 a.m. Lookout Mtn. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224.

Moreland & Arbuckle Guitarist Moreland and harpist/vocalist Arbuckle play Americana roots blended with Delta blues.

Free.

7 p.m. opening act, 8 p.m. headliner Nightfall, Miller Plaza. www.nightfallchattanooga.com New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (706) 820-2531.

MeloManiacs 6 p.m. Bluff View Art District, Terrazine between Tony’s and Back Inn Café, 411 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033.

Dana Rogers 6:30 p.m. Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538.

Ascend the Hill, Feed the Lions, The Heart’s Story, Send the Angels 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Road, East Ridge.

Jimmy Harris 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Rock N’ Roll Spectacular 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Tone Deaf Pig Dogs, Avid Gardener, 52 Ways 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Grayson Capps 8 p.m. Barking Legs, 1322 Dodds Avenue. (423) 624-5347.

Music Calendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Saturday Spotlight

Grayson Capps Poet, songwriter, American original. $12 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Forest Magic, She Keeps Bees, This Frontier Needs Heroes, The Naked Hearts 8 p.m. Discoteca, 304 East Main St. (423) 386-3066.

Power Players Showband 8:30 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Abby Small 9 p.m. Gypsy Rose, 1682 South Lee Highway (423) 476-0050 Nu Blooze 9 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Dance Party with the Bourbon Street Band 9 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Open Mic Night 9 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestuarant.com Live DJ Party 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com DJ & Dancing 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Jack Oblivian, Bohannons, John Paul Keith, Josh Mayfield 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E.

Sunday Spotlight

MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Jesse Lafser 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Bluegrass Pharaohs 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Slippery When Wet: A Bon Jovi Tribute with Rock Daddy 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Amber Fults 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn)

Sunday Johanna Jacobsen 11:30 a.m. The Chattanooga River Market, Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad Street (423) 648-2496.

New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (706) 820-2531.

Lyndsey Highlander 12:30 p.m. The Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 648-2496.

Kurtis 2 p.m. The Chattanooga Market, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. myspace.com/debbieslounge Irish Music Sessions 6:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com

S.I.N. Night 7 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com CULT (free dance party) 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Monday Old Tyme Music 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Paul Lohorn and the Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay Street. (423) 755-9111.

Sons of God, All the Kings Men 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Road, East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Chattanooga Monday Nite Big Band 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Tuesday Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253.

Lightning Billy Hopkins 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Gentlemens Jazz Quartet 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Kaiser Cartel 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

CULT Free Dance Show Wiggle and giggle before the weekend evaporates.

Free 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Karaoke with Paul Smith 8 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Open Mic 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Blues Night with Tim Starnes, Husky Burnette, Jacob Newman 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com

Wednesday Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Jimmy Harris 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Johnny B. and Friends 8 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985.

Karaoke with American Idol’s Chase Guyton 8 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn)

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

17

Life in the Noog

By Chuck Crowder

Cats And Dogs, Baby, Cats And Dogs R

“Guys can say some of the meanest, harshest things to one another and be met by the poor subject at hand with a knowing smile or even a laugh.

We think its fun to make fun of each other.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website thenoog.com

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ecently a friend, who may or may not have had something to do with JJ’s Bohemia being the fine institution it is today, and I witnessed the inebriated embrace of two dudes who were a little more expressive of their brotherly love than normal due in large part to the seven PBRs that preceded their touching encounter. Then it was two girls kissing. Everywhere we looked there were signs of bruthas and sistas keepin’ it real with their own.

Guys and girls have very different relationships with their same-sex peers.

Girls are a very emotional sort. Guys know this, and unless we are in, or trying to be in, a relationship with you, we might say and do things that border on hurt feelings from time to time. But that’s the way we’re wired.

All we know about how to act as friends is based on how we treat our bros.

You see, when we guys get together, it’s like a bunch of wild horses (or drunken mules) in the same stable. Someone has to hoof their way up to the dominant position within the group and wield power over what we do, where we go, how long we stay, and who’s gonna try their luck with that hot chick who keeps passing by us. In order to do this, we must belittle everyone else in the group until, one by one, every other dude has been ridiculed beyond comeback.

We call it a “Brodeo.”

It’s a situation where wits are quicker,

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

putdowns are harsher, “your mama’s” and “that’s what she said’s” are flyin’, and every microscopic fiber of one’s being is analyzed and called out as if it’s our job (as a socially-destructive forensic scientist).

Even the slightest put-down has to be met with a comeback that clearly “one-ups” the competition. Failure to do so will start into motion a sinking of status within the group until you’ve been laughed at so hard by the other bro’s without effective retaliation that all hopes of saving face are dashed before you know it—at least for that night.

And that’s just it. Guys can say some of the meanest, harshest things to one another and be met by the poor subject at hand with a knowing smile or even a laugh. We think it's fun to make fun of each other. And after our mates have made us feel about three inches high, we’ll give them a bro hug, go home and never think another thing about it. Chicks aren’t so lucky.

The acutely sensitive feelings of a woman are put to the test every day. Every word directed at them—positive or negative—is keenly heard, carefully analyzed, and then neatly filed away in the archives of their mind, ever ready to be summoned should a situation days, months or even years later require its reference to prove a point about how you REALLY feel about her.

Even the slightest casual look that could be taken the wrong way will be taken that way. And that not only gets boneheaded guys used to sparring with their bros in trouble with the ladies, but even other ladies can find themselves in the crosshairs

of scrutiny should a miscommunication aimed at their own takes place. It’s enough to make both sexes choose their words very carefully when approaching the more delicate of the two species.

I’ve noticed that in a woman’s mind, it seems you’re either with them or against them. If you’re perceived to be against them, it means they either 1) don’t know you, 2) know OF you and didn’t like what they heard, or 3) think you may or may not have tried to hook up with their boyfriend, ex-boyfriend or girlfriend’s boyfriend or exboyfriend at some point in your life.

If you’re with them, there’s never been a better friend in the whole wide world. You hang out constantly, text, call, tweet, write on each other’s walls, borrow clothes, get tattoos of a symbol you both picked out together that secretly means you’re BFF’s 4 life, and strangest of all, go to the bathroom together.

Girls at their most vulnerable, while some other chick checks her face in the mirror, all so they can get a couple of sideline minutes together to discuss what’s going on at the table. This is a phenomenon that guys will never quite understand. While the thought of two chicks getting semi-naked together in a tiny room is one of our favorite fantasies, the last thing we can imagine wanting in the loo while we’re pants down sitting on the bog is some other dude in the room with us. That’s just weird. And so are the differences between the sexes. But hey, if we were both the same, we’d never find the other quite as intriguing.

Spirits Within

By Joshua Hurley

In Praise of Chile Wine lovers are traditionalists by nature.

They drink wines made in the same way for more than 100 years. This issue’s “Great Buy” will focus on the Chilean wine grown on vineyards unchanged since the mid-19th century, when French wine growers first planted seeds that would eventually produce some of the world’s most revered wines.

Great Buys is where Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson picks something special out of the area’s largest selection of wine and spirits, lowers the price and then shares it with the readership of The Pulse.

This week’s selection is Chile’s Root One. Chile’s wine industry began in the 16th century, when missionaries from Spain planted seedlings of “pais”—a red grape known today as “mission’, and also grown in France and California. In 1951, a Spaniard brought in French wine growers, who planted and cultivated all the more well-known varietals, including cabernet sauvignon, merlot, malbec, chardonnay and sauvignon blanc. By the turn of the century, several wineries were in operation, including Errariz (1870), Santa Rita (1880) and Concha y Toro (1883).

Chile’s climate and landscape make it an ideal country for growing wine grapes. The Andes Mountains, as well as the country’s oceans and deserts perfectly protect Chile’s vineyards. Most of the vineyards are in the central section of the country, from about 50 miles north of Santiago to about 150 miles south of it. From north to south, Chile’s growing areas are Aconcagua Valley, Maipo Valley, Casablanca, Rancagua District, Colchagua District, Curico District and Maule Valley. All of these areas boast a warm, dry climate with the perfect amount of rainfall. Chile’s harvests have never been spoiled due to flooding. Dry growing seasons are nurtured by plenty of water from the melting ice flowing down the Andes peaks.

Root One wines are produced and bottled by the Viña Ventisquero Winery in Rancagua, Chile. This winery is known to export outstanding wines to all parts of the world. Root One is truly unique, in that it was produced from the original rootstock planted by the French viticulturalists more than 150 years ago. Chile’s unique climate and landscape have protected its vineyards

from phylloxera, a tiny insect that feeds on a vine’s roots, sucking out all of its nutrients and slowly starving the vine. This tragedy results in low fruit yield. A wine’s taste is not affected, but eventually replanting is required. A young vine does not produce the same quality fruit; maturation is required, which takes eight to ten years.

American and European vineyards have been attacked by phylloxera. Grafting, a viticultural technique in which two vines are joined together to grow as one, has helped in the ongoing struggle against the rootkilling parasite. Root One offers ungrafted rootstock—vines unchanged since their original inception in 1851. Riley’s offers four varietals from Root One: Cabernet Sauvignon: Grown in Colchagua Valley, which offers the vineyards a hot, dry climate (irrigated from melted ice from the Andes) perfect for cabernet grapes.

This dry red displays aromas of lush, dark fruit with flavors of black currant, black cherry, chocolate and mocha.

Carmenere: This red grape was once thought lost when phylloxera wiped out all of the Boldeaun’s rootstock. It re-emerged in Chile in 1994, and has since become the country’s most famous red wine. Root One Carmenere is deep, dark red in color with a heavy tannic structure. It contains flavors and aromas of blackberry, plums and currants with a spicy finish.

Sauvignon Blanc: This white wine is made from grapes grown in the Casablanca Valley, which offers the fruit a longer growing season. This allows for the natural development of sugar within the fruit. This makes for an incredibly unique sauvignon blanc—balanced perfectly between the grapes’ acidic quality and sweetness brought on from an extended growing season. Root One Sauvignon Blanc has a refreshing citrus aroma containing creamy flavors of lemon, lime and honeysuckle, followed by a clean aftertaste.

Chardonnay: This wine is also grown in the Casablanca Valley, where the climate is perfect for growing chardonnay: coastal breezes, intense sunlight and cool evenings.

Root One Chardonnay is the perfect Chilean chardonnay, containing flavors of honeydew melons, honey, pears and hazel nut on the aftertaste. Cheers!

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

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Arts & Entertainment

Shadow Visitation T

he Land of Shadow—a unique multi-media puppet installation will be presented Friday at Loose Cannon Performance Space.

Four artists have collaborated to produce this show, which has been well received at venues in Brooklyn—and has now come to Chattanooga.

By Michael Crumb

“These expressionist puppets form an array in various media, and they play out a contemporary mythology that will be presented in seven vignettes.”

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Creator Daniel Patrick Fay, who trained in Bali with shadow puppet masters, directs and also designed the puppets, some of which were originally inspired by the musical improvisations of Andrew Livingston.

Livingston provided the soundtrack for the entire show. His instruments include guitar, cello, upright bass and computer-generated noise based on vocal manipulation.

The other two artists are Chattanooga residents. John McLeod already has visibility here in the public sculpture program. His sculpture “Slow Burn” sits at the corner of Market and Main streets. McLeod will install sculptures to extend the performance space into an aesthetic environment in which the audience will be situated. This integrated environment will be further enhanced by cinematic screens developed by Will Jackson.

Some puppets will be backlit against the screens, and others will be in front of the

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

screens. Still others will inhabit the screens themselves.

These expressionist puppets form an array in various media, and they play out a contemporary mythology that will be presented in seven vignettes. One example of these vignettes features “Lullaby for An Earthworm”, one of Livingston’s compositions brought into a surreal adventure. This “worm” has at least two forms, one more typically wormlike, and another, more ethereal, form. The worm journey brings the audience into intense, unknown realms. Fay explains there are “psychological reference points that people identify with.” Worm’s dream may become a nightmare, and the audience will ride along.

Preceding this show will be a “toy theater” presentation by Melody Peterson called Becoming Wolf.

Creative collaborations like these operate on at least a couple of dynamics. In the first place, the artists provide a common context that becomes a wellspring of creative ideas so that new elements continually emerge. In the second place, such collaborations tend to ensure a higher level of quality, since the combined creativity of the artists promotes better vision and execution.

The puppets themselves possess a “seamless” quality, according to McLeod.

Their characters have their own history, elements of which emerge through their appearances and dialogues in the various vignettes. The vignettes have no particular narrative thread connecting them. McLeod sees the whole presentation as an abstract form.

Many elements of this show have a definite sort of representation, if in various cases

more expressionist or more surreal. There also remains a focus in which the various medial elements interact with each other.

The total effect supports an abstract sort of speculation concerning deeper and more mysterious levels of existence.

The real opportunity for the audience involves a complete immersion in a focused multi-media environment in which typical boundaries of presentations have been erased. A kind of tension between free play and the various vectors of the strange puppets allows minds to wander and to confront strange territories.

Fay and McLeod both see The Land of Shadow as “avant-garde.” This term invites some explanation, since there are popular arguments that seek to simply historicize the avant-garde, with the effect that the avantgarde no longer seems plausible or even possible. This idea came up at the NYU show, “New York Cool”, at the Hunter last year.

McLeod sees the avant-garde as “honest— not pretentious, but beautiful and weird.”

I can see in his characterization a sense in which the avant-garde is an impulse that brings a sense of freshness into a relatively stolid artistic milieu.

The Land of Shadow combines medial innovation to present an artistic environment that supports a strange venture into levels of existence. Do avail yourself of the opportunity to be a part of this.

The Land of Shadow $10 8 and 10 p.m.

Friday, July 23 Loose Cannon Performance Space, 1800 Rossville Avenue.

(423) 648-0992

A&E Calendar Highlights Friday

Thursday

All American Days at the Hunter Exhibit harkening back to the Bicentennial, music of Fletcher Bright $9.95 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Chattanooga Market Thursday Plaza Party 4 p.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. www.chattanoogamarket.com Art.a.ma.jig 2010 6 p.m. Tanner Hill Gallery, 3069 Broad St. (423) 280-7182. www.tannerhillgallery.com Kids and Pros Youth Football Camp 6 p.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Mobile Baybears 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208.

110 in the Shade 7:30 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Circle. (423) 877-6447. www.stlukeumc.info GR Goodwin 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Brigadoon 8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, corner of Rolling Way and James Blvd. Signal Mountain.

(423) 886-5243. www.smph.org

Circle of Life Guest dancer Fredrick Davis appears with Ballet Tennessee and Dance Alive/ Dance Elite Free 6 p.m.

Hayes Concert Hall, UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 821-2055.

Saturday

As You Like It Chatt State production sets the Bard’s comedy in the Psychedelic Sixties. $10 7:30 p.m.

Humanities Theater, Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Highway (423) 697-3257.

Dragon Boat Festival 8 a.m. TVA Park at Chickamauga Dam. (423) 778-4688. www.racedragonboats.com Home Education Expo 9 a.m. Camp Jordan Arena, 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy., East Ridge, TN. (423) 266-4663. www.csthca.org Hubble in 3D 11 a.m., 1, 3, 5, 7 p.m IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Mobile Baybears 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208.

Henry Cho 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com 110 in the Shade 7:30 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Circle. (423) 877-6447. www.stlukeumc.info As You Like It 7:30 p.m. Humanities Theatre at Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3257

Camelot 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, GA. (706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org Land of Shadow 8, 10 p.m. Loose Cannon, 1800 Rossville Ave. (631) 796-7568.

The Book of Liz 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Avatar in 3D 8 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Brigadoon 8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, corner of Rolling Way and James Blvd. Signal Mountain.

(423) 886-5243. www.smph.org Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday Dragon Boat Festival 8 a.m. TVA Park at Chickamauga Dam. (423) 778-4688. www.racedragonboats.com Home Education Expo 9 a.m. Camp Jordan Arena, 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy., East Ridge.

(423)266-4663. www.csthca.org Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Mosaic Market 11 a.m. 412 Market St. (corner of 4th/Market). (423) 624-3915 Art Til Dark Noon. Northshore. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.wordpress.com Hubble in 3D 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Henry Cho 7, 9 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Mobile Baybears 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208.

110 in the Shade 7:30 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Circle. (423) 877-6447. www.stlukeumc.info Camelot 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, GA. (706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org The Book of Liz 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Brigadoon 8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, corner of Rolling Way and James Blvd. Signal Mountain.

(423) 886-5243. www.smph.org Movies In The Park 9 p.m. Coolidge Park, 150 River St. (423) 265-0771. www.firstthings.org Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210.

“Skins and Skeletons” AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282. www.avarts.org

Chattanooga Market: Bark for Life Honoring Canine Caregivers with special events for our best friends.

Free 11 a.m. - 4 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com

Dragon Boat Festival 8 a.m. TVA Park at Chickamauga Dam. (423) 778-4688. www.racedragonboats.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Mobile Baybears 2:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com 110 in the Shade 2:30 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Circle. (423) 877-6447. www.stlukeumc.info As You Like It 2:30 p.m. Humanities Theatre at Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423)697-3257 Latino Arts Project 3 p.m. St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 629-9872 Big Ed Caylor 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com “The Bikes and Bikers of HarleyVille” Miki Boni Studios, 1611 Mitchell Ave. (423) 475-5533. www.mikiboni.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

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A&E Calendar Highlights Monday Southern Literature Book Club Meeting: The Road by Cormac McCarthy 6 p.m. Rock Point Books, 401 Broad St. (423) 756-2855. www.rockpointbooks.com Avatar in 3D 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Mobile Baybears 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Speak Easy: Spoken Word and Poetry 8 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9040. www.mudpierestaurant.com Live Cabaret Show with James Breedwell 9, 11 p.m. Bourbon St. Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 697-9957.

“Growing up Jewish” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270.

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Tuesday Olde Towne Books Discussion Group 7 p.m. Olde Towne Books, 3213 Brainerd Rd.(423)595-4468.

Avatar in 3D 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Live Cabaret Show with James Breedwell 9, 11 p.m. Bourbon St. Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 697-9957.

Chattanooga Professional Photography Group Exhibit North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102.

(423) 870-8924.

“Fresh Coastal Scenes” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

Smith-Cleary Photography and Printmaking Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.

Terri Zitrick Denny Art My Color Image Boutique and Gallery, 330 Frazier Ave. (423) 598-6202.

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Wednesday Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. Avatar in 3D 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org “The Myth of Mary Gregory” Houston Museum of Decorative Arts, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com “Sensation” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com “Southern Journeys” Chattanooga African American Museum, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658.

“Cherokee Stone Carvings” Bill Shores Frame and Gallery, 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 756-6746. www.billshoresframes.com Stephen Rolfe Powell Glass Exhibition Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

The Book of Liz Sedaris family fans should not miss this play, a collaboration between siblings Amy and David. The New York Times called it "an off-kilter, off-color hymn to the clichés we all live by." $15 8 p.m.

Friday, July 23 and Saturday, July 24 Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

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On The Beat

By Alex Teach

In Red Bank I

“Yeah, I’m making fun of the whole tumultuous thing. (Gasp.)

But that’s what you do when the whole place is ACTING LIKE A JOKE.”

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. To contact him directtly, follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

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was watching the rare latterquarter of Driving Miss Daisy on AMC on a Friday afternoon when news broke of the firing of Chief Sneed from the Red Bank Police Department. I wasn’t particularly alarmed since administrative upheaval is the theme of the day locally, but the explanation did catch my attention: He was apparently fired for a recurring theme here in “On the Beat”: Fired For No Reason Whatsoever.

According to sources, this action came at the request of three Red Bank Commission members: Vice Mayor Monty Millard, Commissioner Floyd Pierce and Commissioner Greg Jones. (As Hoke entrenched himself in the importance of unimpeded micturition on screen, I began to smile. “Monty Millard.”

Really?)

December 2008. July 2009. August 2009.

In those months of those years, the Red Bank police chief “OK’d” (judicially approved) the arrest of Commissioner Monty Millard for related domestic violence charges, and in full compliance with American political tradition, said commissioner allegedly makes public statements to the effect of “bringing down the Red Bank police department” and “getting Chief Sneed.”

June 2010: Millard subpoenas Sneed to give a deposition in a civil case against his (mercifully) ex-wife. July 2010: Sneed (brace yourself) gives testimony NOT in Monty Millard’s favor. One month later, Millard shows compliance on the record in suggesting Sneed be fired by the city manager. (For No Reason

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Whatsoever.) Any of your previously darkened Christmas bulbs sparking back on yet?

Now let’s take a step back: To be completely fair, Chief Sneed had received one complaint in the last few years (OK, three years ago): As I understand it, a secretary played a joke on him, and when he responded by saying, “Don’t send me a message. If you have something to say to me, you come to me”, she suddenly felt “terribly harassed, intimidated and threatened.” That created a “hostile work environment” for her.

(Chris Dorsey also administratively dismissed this in 2007.)

Speaking of which, let’s enter Mr. Dorsey into this picture as the city manager. He can fire employees of Red Bank at-will, you know? He will tell you. He can fire them. For no reason at all, and I like that. Each time he says so.

Which is…a lot.

What he can’t tell you about is the City of Red Bank’s city charter. Deep in the bowels of that document literally created by the people, for the people, are very salient points about the Tennessee Open Meetings Act (aka “Sunshine Laws”), and how more than one commissioner cannot meet to discuss city business outside of a public forum, or the perception of “messed up stuff ” taking place would be created. And meeting in folks’ houses on the side to discuss the firing of the police chief, for the record, is both “public business” and “messed up stuff ”.

(There seemed to be confusion about that.)

Enter the aforementioned Chris Dorsey.

Just as Rainman was a very good driver, he is a very good manager, but apparently equally shallow in the ways of the world. Is he naive?

Or stupid? Such a fine line…but he’s definitely in the spotlight. Coincidence? Perhaps not.

He was, after all, only a cog in this very stupid machine. His level of complicity in the closeddoor meetings he admits to is suspect, but it

doesn’t make him a ringleader. Just a very goofy pawn.

Where were we? Ah. I noticed that the second-in-command of the department was passed over to lead in favor of the third. I noticed the second-in-command of the RBPD has as clean a record as he does a closed mouth, so again the wheels begin to turn in my AMCtelevision riddled brain… …And JUST when you think it’s over, another Red Bank officer has the professional audacity (or lack thereof) to call out the mayor on the back lot after a commission meeting and after initiating a spat over being hurt by being called a “disgruntled underling”, in his own words—then acts like a disgruntled underling.

The mayor follows suit by turning red and poking fingers at said officer, and said officer now inquires about filing freaking charges for assault. What is he, a finance director in hiding? This is a Big Boy Game, bro. Suck it up. (Calling out the boss is one thing…but pressing charges? “Really”?)

Yeah. I just called out another cop. (Gasp.)

Yeah, I’m making fun of the whole tumultuous thing (Gasp.) But that’s what you do when the whole place is ACTING LIKE A JOKE. Everyone on the Red Bank City Payroll, just sit still and don’t move. Clear your head.

Think.

The firing of Sneed walks like a duck.

The vagueness of Dorsey’s charter knowledge and basis for said firing swims like a duck.

And the “unhappiness” of the officers that is currently, the “real” reason, quacks like a duck.

So let’s quit beating around the bush, and just admit that the whole thing is bullshit. (If bullshit were a duck.)

Your community tires of you, “officials”.

Just…stop.

The Pulse • Dining Out Spotlight

Reinvigorated Porter’s: A City Signature

by Robert McCary A close friend of mine once told me that whenever he traveled to a new city, he would seek out a few key highlights that would give him a sense of the city’s vibrancy. One of these highlights was a signature hotel restaurant.

These are the establishments where, if the appeal is right, executives on business travel, the couple on holiday and locals residents of the city all converge, creating an electric mix of the familiar and refreshingly new for an exceptional dining experience.

Porter’s Steak House in the historic Read House Hotel gives Chattanooga this signature experience, with a newly redesigned interior, a refined menu spanning breakfast, lunch and dinner and local clientele mixing with Read House guests. The recent renovations have certainly made a difference in attracting new diners and placing Porter’s firmly at the forefront as Chattanooga’s only premier steakhouse.

The fresh interior adds dramatic changes to the look and feel of Porter’s environment. Warm linen tones on the walls highlight beautiful marble floors, and the rich deep wood of the extensive millwork.

The wine cabinet, prominently positioned between the main dining room and the lounge, is striking and piques your curiosity, encouraging you to explore the contents of the comprehensive wine list. The thoughtfully sourced seating, whether at a dining table, a lounge table or at the bar, provides perfect comfort, urging you to stay and linger with your company. After all, it is Porter’s Steakhouse, and the vibe is very much in that classic, sophisticated tradition: luxurious without being over the top, providing instant gratification with accessible features that avoid the pitfall of trendy noise.

This idea is mirrored by the menu’s selections.

Chef John Palacio is paying attention to trends but not to the noisy bits that clutter your dining choices. His creations are clearly thoughtful and in tune with seasonal fare.

Chef Palacio balances the core prime steak options with seafood and poultry selections and complements each entree with freshly prepared sides. Looking to local farmers to source all things seasonal, the care in planning and preparation is obvious. Take, for instance, one of the salad course selections, comprised of Signal Mountain Farms vine-ripe tomatoes with micro spinach and farmfresh goat cheese, tossed in a house-made garlic vinaigrette. These ingredients exude summer, and that seasonal voice comes through with distinct, natural flavors.

Standout seafood selections include the blackened yellow fin tuna loin salad, with watercress, daikon root, sweet oranges, and wasabi peas with a red chile dressing. Yet another

is the Rhode Island jumbo sea scallops, pan seared and served with wild rice pilaf, fried okra or buttered broccoli. Both are examples of items that balance the menu and offer something for each taste and mood.

And a special note to the business diners who only have one precious hour for a lunch—you can have these delectable items without missing one moment of the post-lunch conference call. Porter’s promises you can enjoy a freshly prepared and served lunch without having to worry about the clock.

Of course, it’s the prime selections of beef that are the fundamentals of the menu. From the tender beef tips atop the blackened beef tip salad to the signature porterhouse steak, this is what places Porter’s Steakhouse in its unique position as Chattanooga’s prime steakhouse. The style of cuts and preparations offer a range of choices—only the best and prepared expertly under Chef Palacio’s leadership.

These elements combine to give locals and the travelers alike a true prime steakhouse that beckons everyone to come, gather with a cocktail or glass of wine, relax and enjoy what is being offered from people who are obviously sincere and committed to providing the highest quality experience.

My friend would find that signature hotel restaurant he regularly seeks out here at Porter’s.

And the next time he visits, it’s our first destination to show off this premier dining room and its excellent menu.

Porter’s Steakhouse, Sunday-Thursday, 7 a.m. to 10 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. Inside the Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad Street.

(423) 643-1240. www.porterssteakhouse.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

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Film Feature

In Dreams Begin Responsibilities A

By Phillip Johnston

“Once you wrap your mind around its complex methods, all you can do is sit back and marvel at the genius of a master filmmaker working in triedand-true 2D.”

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pair of 3D glasses will not accompany your ticket to Christopher Nolan’s new film Inception.

For this you can rejoice. While run-of-the-mill Hollywood hacks stuff their films with cheap wonders that fly at the face, Inception is that single summer blockbuster that inspires in its audience a genuine sense of wonder.

Once you wrap your mind around its complex methods, all you can do is sit back and marvel at the genius of a master filmmaker working in tried-and-true 2D. The less you know about Inception the better.

It’s a film of complex narrative architecture thick with invention and maddening surprise. It takes place in our current world, but with one key difference: the government has conceived a way for specialized agents to invade the subconscious by way of dreams, a process used to uncover the innermost secrets of the dreamer without them ever knowing. This process is called “extraction”.

The opposite of extraction is, of course, inception—the act of implanting a thought into someone’s mind. It’s worlds more difficult than extraction; the dreamer could easily reject any implanted thought, rendering the entire attempt a failure. Inception requires stealth and, in this story, entails multiple layers of dreams—a dream

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

within a dream within a dream, if you will.

Dropped into this complex world of dream exploration is Dom Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio), an extraction expert who has spent so much time navigating dreams that he has lost contact with reality. In dreams, one creates and perceives a world simultaneously; it is the consummate experience of heightened reality, the ultimate escape.

Cobb has made the nigh-on-fatal mistake of copying the real world in his dreams, making it all too easy for him to confuse the two. His mangled psyche, fraught with memories of his tragically deceased wife (Marion Cotillard) and the two young children he has left behind, affects every dream he enters.

Cobb is a danger to every extraction and inception effort he enters, but the job at the core of Inception—planting the idea in the mind of a young and inexperienced businessman to break up the corporate empire he is set to inherit after the death of his father—cannot be accomplished without him.

Christopher Nolan has built his career making movies about humans like Cobb who are in conflict with reality. In Memento, he told a thrilling story backwards, constantly shifting the audience’s perception of the narrative and only arriving at the truth in the final four minutes.

The Prestige was a tale of two illusionists seething with jealousy for each other’s secrets and discovering how quickly playful illusion becomes crushing deception. And there is, of course, Bruce Wayne—billionaire mogul by day, caped crusader by night—a hero crushed under the weight of his manufactured identity when the public’s perception of him goes awry.

Wrapped in over two hours of entirely original action sequences and headache-inducting suspense, Inception is Nolan’s most complex and complete treatise on reality versus perception.

With great economy of dialogue and some truly confounding images, Nolan suffuses the complex logic of his dream world with inventive bells, whistles, and searing symbolism.

All this complexity is sometimes detrimental to Inception’s supporting characters. Though most viewers will not have a problem with this, it can often be unsettling to see Joseph Gordon Levitt, Ellen Page, and, yes, Michael Caine reciting lines necessitated not by the complex lives of their characters but by Nolan’s narrative machinations.

But there is still Cobb. He’s is the lifeblood of the story and there is humanity in the remarkable tragedy of his character. Inception follows him to the very end and the film’s final image will make you gasp.

The primary mechanism of Hans Zimmer’s musical score for Inception is the heavy blast of (what sounds like) a foghorn. It starts low and builds ever-so slowly, sounding at first like a fluke, something your mind might have made up, and finally bringing itself closer until it is so bracingly loud that your skin crawls with fear and with fright.

Is this sound summoning Cobb back to the distant shore of reality? Who can know?

But that is exactly what Inception does for its audience, for whom the radiance of what exists may seem too facile or painful. And the wondrous thing about Nolan is that he has the vision to accomplish this without gimmick or contrivance. Leave the 3D glasses in the trash.

Your eyes are all you need.

Inception Directed by Christopher Nolan Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Marion Cotillard, Ellen Page, Joseph Gordon Levitt Rated PG-13 Running time: 2 hours, 28 minutes

Joy Stick

By Erik Bhatnagar

Don’t Expect Art in Crackdown 2 As a solider for the mysterious organization “Agency”, you don't jump from building to building, you jump over buildings, you hijack cars, you pick them up and throw them at enemies. A single punch doesn't knock someone out, it sends them flying. you climb buildings as quick as any superhero, and have enough firepower to take on an entire army. That is what you did in Crackdown, and with a few minor changes, it's what you do in Crackdown 2.

Crackdown, which released in 2007, impressed gamers with awesome exploration, awesome powers, and being extremely fun and addicting. The Agency took out crime and saved the city, but there were still flaws—not-so-great graphics, spotty jump and climbing, worthless storyline, but all was forgiven. Three years later, Crackdown 2 is still entertaining, addicting, and also safe. Virtually nothing has changed, including the good and bad.

Instead of numerous gangs, there's just one now, or at least in the Agency's mind, terrorists known as the Cell, which has made it its mission to destroy the Agency, even if it means releasing a toxin into Pacific City that turns people to zombies. Just like in Crackdown , you suit up as a solider, grab your weapons, and clean the streets. Crackdown 2 tells you it's best to take on the Cell by day, because there are more of them on the street (and zombies by night). However, with every enemy being as braindead as in Crackdown, that doesn't

really seem to matter. The endgame is turning on a satellite dish throughout the entire city, so the Agency can drop beacons to revive civilization.

Unless you're new to Crackdown, you know that's silly: The real objective is to collect all the orbs.

Throughout the city there are orbs to collect to build your power. Green builds your agility and strength, and purple improves driving. Every enemy you kill gives orbs for your guns or strength, they even throw in hiding and moving arms that you have to chase. It may seem silly but it actually works. Orb collecting is one of the most addicting times on any game for which you don't recieve achievement points. Finally, there is roof and street racing. Both are passable and won't impress anyone.

Sadly, the graphics haven't improved, music is forgettable, and the voicework is nonexistent except for the Agency's handler. As in Crackdown, sometimes he will crack you up, other times you'll tell him to shut up, especially when he makes fun of you when you mess up due to spotty controls.

Game sequels like Uncharted 2 and Mass Effect 2 were fantastic, but unfortunately unlike them, Crackdown 2 doesn't represent an upgrade. It is still a fun game and you'll have a blast—as long as you don't expect art.

Play N Trade, 5084 South Terrace, Suite 18, East Ridge.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

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Free Will Astrology LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): According to Hawaiian mythology, the soul leaves the body during the night to seek the adventures known as dreams. The place of departure and re-entry is the “soul pit” (lua’uhane), which is located in the tear duct of the eye. During the next few nights, I’d love for you to send your soul flying out though your soul pit for some daring exploits that will revitalize your lust for life. Take your backlog of stored-up tears along with you, and pour them down like rain on the secret garden you’ve been neglecting.

The garden will respond to the downpour with a big growth spurt.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’m putting out a call to the rebel in your heart—not the cranky, vindictive rebel in your mind, but the joyful, yearning rebel in your heart. I am asking this tender renegade to rise up against narcissistic behavior wherever you find it. Don’t shout it down or try to shame it, though; rather, work around it through outrageous displays of empathy and radical acts of compassion and feisty outbreaks of wild kindness. Your job, according to my analysis of the astrological omens, is to be a one-person wrecking crew devoted to smashing the boring inertia of egotism with your zealous concern for the good of all.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A woman I know was invited to a party where she would get the chance to meet her favorite musician, psychedelic folk artist Devendra Banhart. On her last look in the mirror before heading out the door, she decided that the small pimple on her chin was unacceptable, and gave it a squeeze. Wrong move. After it popped, it looked worse.

She panicked. More squeezing ensued, accompanied by moaning and howling. Soon the tiny blemish had evolved into a major conflagration. Fifteen minutes later, defeated and in tears, she was nibbling chocolate in bed, unable to bring herself to face her hero with her flagrant new wound showing. The moral of the story, as far as you’re concerned: Leave your tiny blemish alone.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): As the economic recovery lags, many frustrated job-seekers have decided to stop waiting around to be saved; they’re taking matters into their own hands. As a result, entrepreneurship is thriving. I suggest you catch that spirit. In fact, I advocate a mass entrepreneurial uprising among Pisceans in the coming months. Even if you’re already employed, it’ll be prime time for you to create your own perfect gig, carve out your own special niche, or dream up a role that is designed for your unique talents.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the upcoming sciencefiction movie The Adjustment Bureau, Matt Damon plays a politician with big ambitions. Everything’s going his way until he falls in love with a dancer. Then the representatives of a mysterious group intervene in his life, warning him that he’ll never achieve his dreams if he stays with her. “We are the people who make sure things happen according to plan,” they say. “We monitor the entire world.” I’m happy to inform you, Libra, that this scenario is utterly make-believe. There is no “Adjustment Bureau,” on earth or in heaven. It is true, however, that if you don’t have a master plan, then your destiny is more likely to be shaped by your conditioning and by other people’s master plans. So get working! This is an excellent time to either formulate a master plan or refine the one you have.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The United States is the planet’s major player in terms of political, economic, and military clout. China is rising fast as a competitor in those three arenas, but lags far behind in a fourth: “soft power,” or cultural influence. The rest of the world finds America’s style, entertainment, art, and ideas far more attractive than China’s. As you enter a phase that will be favorable for enhancing your own leverage and authority, Scorpio, I suggest you put the emphasis on wielding “soft power.” You’ll accomplish more by charming people with your intelligence than by trying to push them or manipulate them.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I think it would be healthy for you to wander out to a frontier and explore a boundary. You might even want to reexamine a taboo you haven’t questioned in a while and tinker with a formula you thought you’d never change. I suspect that you would also learn a lot from gently pushing against a limit you’ve come to believe is permanent. Having said all that, I’m cautious about advising you to go further. If you get urges to actually transgress the boundary and break the taboo and smash through the limit, please do lots of due diligence. Know exactly what you’re getting into and what the consequences might be.

The latest local news and information updated multiple times a day - www.chattanoogapulse.com 28

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

By Rob Brezsny Truthrooster@gmail.com

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When mobs stage political demonstrations in Pakistan’s biggest cities, they make sure that some of their signs are written in English. That way their protests are more likely to be filmed by news media like CNN and shown to American audiences. Take a cue from that trick as you plan your actions, Capricorn. It won’t be enough merely to say what you want to say and be who you want to be; you should tailor your messages to people who have the power to actually change what needs to be changed.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Revenge fantasies would pollute your consciousness. I advise you to repress them. Wallowing in resentment would have an equally deleterious effect. Don’t you dare give that emotion a foothold. On the other hand, fantasies of experiencing pleasure and joy, even if they’re escapist illusions, will tonify and invigorate your awareness. I recommend that you indulge in them at great length, unleashing your imagination to explore a variety of blissful scenarios in tremendous detail and with ingenious flourishes. In fact, as your part-time soul doctor, I can’t think of anything else that would be more beneficial to your physical and mental health.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If there were such a thing as the Queen of Heaven—a living Goddess whose presence both calmed and excited you, a numinous female magician who lit up your longing to see life as it really is—and if this Queen of Heaven came to be with you right now, what would you say? Would you ask her to help you, and if so, how? Would you seek an answer to the most important question in your life?

Would you spill every secret and tell every story you’ve ever wanted to share, and trust that she’d be able to see the totality of who you really are? I advise you to do this imaginative exercise sometime soon. The time has come for you to receive a blessing from the highest expression of feminine power.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): What’s up with your best friends? I mean, what’s really going on for them in the big scheme of things? According to my astrological intuition, at least one of your good buddies is at a turning point in his or her long-range cycle, and could really use the deep reflection and catalytic help that you might provide. Try this exercise: Put aside all your ideas about who your close allies are, and simply try to see the world as if looking out of their eyes. After you’ve done that, imagine how you could offer yourself to them as a brain-booster and heart-strengthener; brainstorm about how you might blend your life force with theirs so as to empower them to see further than they can by themselves.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In my astrological opinion, you should pay special attention to whatever’s embryonic in your life. You should rouse the smartest part of your capacity for love and direct it with highbeam intensity toward burgeoning possibilities that have recently germinated. There may come a time later in the process when you’ll need to impose discipline and order on your growing things, but that’s not what’s called for now. Be extravagant in your nurturing.

Don’t scrimp on generosity and beneficence. Have fun overflowing with profusions of life-giving care.

JONESIN’

Across 1 Pro gp.

5 Tarheel’s st.

9 Fat-sounding fish 13 Drying-out time 15 “Bitte ___” (2009 Dirty Projectors album) 16 Wasted 17 “The Devil Wears ___” 18 Watchman’s shout 19 Uncle in a rarelyreleased Disney movie 20 First part of a Harvey Pekar quote 23 Second part of the quote 24 Squealer 26 Driller’s deg.

27 Angular pipe fitting 28 They’re checked at liquor stores 31 Love, Latin American style 33 Instructions part 34 “Don’t ___” (“Hitchhiker’s Guide” motto) 36 Comes to a stop 40 In a playfully reluctant way 41 Third part of the

“Last Chance, Harvey” –final words from the lake Mr. Pekar.

quote 44 Mrs., in Madrid 47 Insincere language 48 Dorm supervisors 51 Old enemy 53 Fourth part of the quote 55 First in the Hebrew alphabet 56 “Mr. Loverman” dancehall singer Ranks 59 Green organism 60 Final part of the quote 63 Perrier competitor 64 Hamilton vs. Burr, e.g.

65 Non-Hawaiian, in Hawaii 66 Take care of 67 In ___ (intrinsically) 68 Former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Down 1 Dada artist Jean 2 Golf great ___ Pak 3 Al who was ordained a minister at age 10 4 Advocate-turnedpresidential candidate Ralph 5 Feature of seven No-

lan Ryan performances 6 Wacked out 7 Roman ___ (novel type) 8 Noisy toy 9 Largest of the Greek islands 10 It may be relative to a meteorologist 11 E pluribus ___ 12 Bible divs.

14 Made some barnyard noises 16 Speak slowly 21 It closes some businesses in Europe 22 “Malcolm in the Middle” dad 24 Young Jeezy’s genre 25 Doc bloc 29 Tierra ___ Fuego 30 One of a few Russians in 2010 news 32 Spare part?

33 Female pig 35 Mongrels 36 Sleeping tool 37 “What ___ to Wear” (TLC show) 38 Hall and Oates, e.g.

39 DJ featured on MTV’s “The Grind”

40 Shrub that produces a drug 42 “A little bit of ___ get you up” (Mark Knopfler, “Junkie Doll”) 43 Hello, in Beijing 44 First word of an Indiana Jones complaint 45 Go back through 46 Audrey Tautou role 48 Look to 49 Lansbury of “Murder, She Wrote” 50 ___ Island Ferry 52 Key in that piano song played with your knuckles 54 “They go”, in Spanish 57 “Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My ___” (“South Park” episode) 58 Tournament gimmes 61 Brian who scored the soundtrack to “The Lovely Bones” 62 Letters found on many sunless tanning products

Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0477.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 22, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | The Pulse

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Ask A Mexican!

By Gustavo Arellano

Mariachis and Mormons Dear Mexican, I heard Mormonism is a quickly spreading religion down in ye olde Mexico. What is it about this religion that a lot of Mexicans find so fascinating?

— Jack Mormón

“All those stereotypes originated from Jalisco, the birthplace of mariachi and tequila, where the native sombrero is huge and brimmed.”

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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Dear Gabacho, Historically? Mexico has long had the second-largest community of Mormons in the world after the United States—official LDS figures estimate 1.2 million members live in Mexico, an increase from the 783,000 estimated in 1999. This community has existed for almost 135 years, created after polygamous Mormons who wanted to keep their multiple wives moved down south because, hey, anything goes down Mexico way, right? Sociologically? Mormons are masters of proselytizing—the increase in numbers “shows that a church group can produce a short-term phenomenal growth rate by committing resources to missionary activity,” according to Professor James W. Dow in his 2003 scholarly paper, “The Growth of Protestant Religions in Mexico and Central America.” Theologically?

My understanding of Mormonism is that it places an emphasis on the family, encourages couples to have as many children as possible, stresses the dominion of the husband over the family, and hates homosexuals. If those attributes aren’t appealing to Mexicans, then I’m Moroni himself.

Dear Mexican, Why do Mexicans from Jalisco look down on

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 29 | July 22, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Mexicans from other parts of Mexico?

— El Gallo Negro Dear Black Rooster, Because tapatiós are the Texans of Mexico: an arrogant, brilliant, overly patriotic group that government officials romanticize as the id of the national psyche, and whose societal characteristics and traditions became easily identifiable stereotypes to the rest of the world. Déjame give you an example: you know how a lot of gabachos assume all Mexicans wear massive sombreros, love the tequila, play mariachi, and have the potential to grow mustaches as thick as the Amazon rain forest? That’s because all those stereotypes originated from Jalisco, the birthplace of mariachi and tequila, where the native sombrero is huge and brimmed, and most of the men can grow big bigotes because of the Spanish blood inside them. Mexican officials starting in the 1930s specifically picked Jalisco to immortalize in films and other cultural exports so that the rest of the world assumed all Mexicans were just the same. “Needing a people who could personify hispanismo,” wrote Joanne Hirschfield in “Race and Class in the Classical Cinema,” an essay in the anthology Mexico’s Cinema: A Century of Film and Filmmakers, “its proponents found them in…Jalisco. The mythology of [Jalisco] created a horse-riding people who were devoutly Catholic and capitalistic, had

never intermarried with Indians, and played Mariachi music.”

Because of this propaganda effort, people from Jalisco—just like those from Texas— have a notorious superiority complex, but each state or region in Mexico occupies a certain strata in la república that matches up to our own states. People from Zacatecas, for instance, are the Iowans of Mexico: hardworking, humble, and famous for immigration to other lands. Mexico City is New York City, of course, while Monterrey is more like the Boston of Mexico, although more on the Brahmin side than the racist mick part. Sonora and Sinaloa are an eternal Wild West, literally (as they occupy the western part of Mexico) and figuratively (the narco wars), while Oaxaca and Chiapas are our Guatemala, not just because of their geographical proximity to the country, but because of the large indigenous population.

I can go on, but this humble Zacatecan must go back to work exposing Jaliscans as the blowhards they are.