The Pulse - Vol. 7, Issue 34

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

CONNECTING CHATTANOOGA'S SISTER CITIES

By Maggie Behringer

FREE • News, Views, Music, Film, Arts & Entertainment • August 26, 2010 • Volume 7, Issue 34 • www.chattanoogapulse.com

President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor / Art Director Gary Poole Advertising Manager Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Townes Webb Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Staff Photographer Louis Lee Photography Intern Corinne Oglesby Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano, Maggie Behringer Rob Brezsny, Chuck Crowder Hellcat, Joshua Hurley Matt Jones, D.E. Langley, Tara Morris-Viland, Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Gary Poole, Alex Teach Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Josh Lang Editorial Assistant Sean Lee Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

26 2010

cover story

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Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

AL NT e NU DE VAL uls AN PEN STI he P DE FE n T IN LM k i

AUGUST

12 CONNECTING CHATTANOOGA'S SISTER CITIES

By Maggie Behringer Back in 1956, President Eisenhower hosed a conference at the White House focused on citizen diplomacy. The idea found its impetus in the post-World War II desire to create global connections and understanding across cultural and physical borders.

feature stories 16 THE BLOOD FEATHERS SWOOP INTO JJ'S

By Tara Morris-Viland For those who have read past articles of mine you may notice I tend to shy away from JJ’s Bohemia. It is not because I am not absolutely in love with the venue and its people. But when it comes to JJ’s, I am jealous. I am jealous of the kids that are able to go in three times or more a week.

24 A RE:SOUNDING STORY FOR MUSIC

By Hellcat You may remember, about a year ago, I was all excited about this up and coming musical co-op that was forming in Chattanooga, called Re:Sound.

If you don’t, let me refresh your memory.

30 FISHING FOR TROUBLE—IN 3D

By John DeVore 3D movies are pretty popular right now. I personally don’t understand the fad. I understand where it started, of course; Avatar is the only film I’ve seen that effectively used the technology and it made lots and lots of money.

news & views 5 6 10 20 28 34

PULSE BEATS BEYOND THE HEADLINES SHRINK RAP LIFE IN THE NOOG ON THE BEAT ASK A MEXICAN

everything else 4 9 9 17 18 25 27 27 31 32 32

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR POLICE BLOTTER THE LIST NEW MUSIC REVIEWS MUSIC CALENDAR A&E CALENDAR JONESIN’ CROSSWORD FREE WILL ASTROLOGY NEW IN THEATERS SPIRITS WITHIN DINING REVIEW

Letters to the Editor State of the Arts Congratulations to The Pulse for an excellent review of the state of the arts in Chattanooga.

For all the negative attention paid to tax increases, political recalls, crime waves, gang problems, sewer tax increases, and so forth, it’s a refreshing reminder of all the good things the city has to offer. One has only to go to a local concert, art gallery showing or even stroll around down near the riverfront to see how much the arts community has helped made Chattanooga a first-class city.

Cynthia McCall Mayoral Recall This recall is happening because Ron Littlefield is not taking care of our neighborhoods. For instance the road I live on is totally crumbling and full of pot holes and has no shoulders. The west side of Igou Gap is too narrow in some places on the road and is totally falling in. The pavement is so old it has four inch deep crags in it and looks like the dirt in a severe drought. The worst part is the city spent a lot of money surveying our yards, our roads and still no relief. We need someone to take care of our neighborhoods and not just give us lip

service. The recall of Mayor Littlefield, Jack Benson and Manny Rico is no surprise to me. They are so arrogant and dismissive to the regular citizens who express concern over issues like road repair.

Susan Nicholas EPB Responds To TVA Audit At the time the TVA audit was conducted, the cash balance we had on hand was due to the bond issue, which cannot be used for operations purposes—only capital investments. In 2008, you’ll remember we borrowed $220 million to pay for the build of our fiber optic infrastructure. After several legal delays, we were finally able to begin installing our services to customers. Now that we have built out to most of our service area, the money from the bond is being spent down and our cash reserve is lower and will continue to get lower.

Lacie Newton Electric Power Board The Passing Of Ronnie Cobb I’ve known Ronnie Cobb since high school days, and he’s always been a first class guy.

I was looking forward to thanking him for

coming by the funeral home when my father died a couple of weeks ago even though we haven’t stayed in contact much. This is a sad day for all of us in the Ft. Oglethorpe area.

You’ll be missed, ol' buddy!

Andy Addison Corrections & Omissions In last week’s issue of The Pulse, in our review of the Chattanooga Theater Centre’s production of The Producers, we inadvertently misidentified one of the actors as Zachary Craven. His name is Zachary James Cavan. We apologize for the error.

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week:

A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“Is it the highest priority this city needs to focus on? I don’t think so.”

—Chattanooga City Councilwoman Deborah Scott on the city’s plan to spend $1 million to build an additional 65 boat slips on the Tennessee River downtown near Ross's Landing.

Law Enforcement Begins DUI Crackdown When the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration re-set the National Crash Clock for 2010, it began registering traffic fatalities at an average rate of every fourteen minutes in America…with no time off for holidays. As the Crash Clock ticks off the deadly seconds this summer, it will record eleven traffic crashes every minute, with a traffic injury every thirteen seconds.

And according to the National Crash Clock, time is running out for drunk drivers everywhere. On an average travel day, the National Crash Clock is recording an alcohol-impaired driving death every 45 minutes.

“We’re concerned the National Crash Clock will be running on overtime this Labor Day holiday travel period,” says Director Bob Dallas of the Georgia Governor’s Office of Highway Safety (GOHS). “We know too many summer celebrations end with designated drivers left behind at the barbeque and that means too many Georgians will die in alcohol-related crashes during this upcoming Labor Day weekend.”

That’s why Operation Zero Tolerance is underway now. Every Labor Day Georgia mobilizes thousands of traffic enforcement officers to conduct high visibility sobriety roadchecks and DUI patrols to save lives on roads where you live and drive as part of a national impaired driving crackdown campaign called Over the Limit, Under Arrest.

Tennessee law enforcement agencies are also gearing up for similar campaigns, from the Tennessee Highway Patrol to local county and city agencies. In 2008, nearly 12,000 people died nationwide in highway crashes involving drivers with a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) of .08 or higher.

“This national DUI data is really a warning for cautious drivers everywhere to make sure all passengers are buckled up every trip, every time,” says Dallas. “Every safe driver’s personal highway survival guide should tell them safetybelts are still your best protection against an unexpected crash with a drunk driver at anytime and anywhere, day or night.”

Georgia’s crash data calendar shows the summer travel period here is one of the most dangerous times on our highways. Georgia DOT reported 2,401 traffic crashes last Labor Day, just during the 78-hour travel period around the holiday. Nineteen people died and another 1,069 Georgians were injured. In 2008, more than a thousand people were injured while traveling on Georgia highways during the same Labor Day holiday period.

Alcohol and drugs are usually identified as major contributing factors and about half the crash victims are unbuckled when they die. “The sad fact is three-out-of-ten of our fatal highway crashes in Georgia each year are caused by impaired drivers. And every one of those tragic alcohol-related deaths is completely preventable,” says Dallas. “Impaired driving is no ‘accident’: It’s one of America’s most often-committed and deadliest crimes."

Remember to designate a sober driver in advance—before the Labor Day festivities begin. Friends should never let friends drive drunk…or distracted. So Buckle-up. Hang-Up. Slow Down. And Drive Sober. Labor Day weekend is your last celebration of summer. Don’t let it be your very last.

Looking For Movie Locations

The Chattanooga Southeast Tennessee Film Commission is partnering with the Tennessee Film Commission on a major movie feature that is in search of locations. A high-profile producer/director is producing a feature based on a national best-selling author and novel that is set to start filming in Spring of 2011.

The production company is currently looking for three main locations. The time period is 1860’s during the Civil War era.

1. Small one room log cabin, in a clearing surrounded by thick woods. It needs to be similar to where Abraham Lincoln would have grown up. The cabin would have to be available for exterior & interiors.

2. Gettysburg battlefield, large open field with a hill & trees. No modern structures can be visible.

3. Civil War Era Town. Sparsely populated with buildings period buildings. Dirt Road Locations cannot be near railroad tracks, flight paths, or interstate. If anyone is interested in submitting their property please email four to six photos in .jpg format to crutchfield@chattanooga.gov or call Missy Crutchfield at (423) 425-7823.

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Beyond The Headlines

An Open Letter From Councilman Manny Rico A

s the “RecallRon” campaign enters its final stretch, with organizers facing a distinct possibility of coming up just short of their goal, two other recall petitions have been circulating amongst Chattanooga voters as well.

The individuals behind the effort to recall Mayor Ron Littlefield from office have also set their sights of recalling City Council Chairman Manny Rico and fellow councilman Jack Benson.

“They will not be bullied into signing petitions under false pretenses and chased about their neighborhoods by Georgia residents and teenagers hired to walk aimlessly around town.”

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When made aware of the recall efforts, Benson said he would run again no matter what. Rico, on the other hand, went on Jay Scott’s afternoon talk show on 95.3 WPLZ and said that if the recall against him was successful, he would step down. However, a few days later he changed his mind, and wrote an open letter to his constituents.

Dear Citizens of District 7: Many of you may have heard of an effort by a small, vocal minority of citizens in Chattanooga to recall me as your duly elected City Councilman. While I recognize this is their right, I feel it is unfortunate that I must preserve my elected office and focus my time defending my actions to a few (most of whom do not even live within the boundaries of City of Chattanooga, much less District 7) elected instead of doing what you, the voters,

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me to do—support the goals and needs of our district.

Last week, I announced that I would not seek re-election if recalled. However, since that time, I have experienced a tremendous ground swell of support from personal visits and phone calls to emails, cards, and letters.

These offerings of support came not only from the wonderful citizens of District 7, but from the City of Chattanooga as a whole.

Because of this outpouring of support and encouragement, I have realized that those I represent are proud of the job I am doing and strongly wish for me to continue. If recalled, I WILL seek re-election and I WILL fight to defend my actions as your duly elected representative on the Chattanooga City Council.

The residents of District 7 have spoken loud and clear. They will not be bullied into signing petitions under false pretenses and chased about their neighborhoods by Georgia residents and teenagers hired to walk aimlessly around town searching for those who will believe their misleading facts. I will not shy away from the lies, and superficial near-supremacist actions of this small, volatile minority of citizens who seek to impose their views on the masses by widespread assimilation of illegitimate facts and lies.

The problems facing our great city are not unusual and they are not unique. They call for elected officials to look at the whole picture and vote for what is right and what is in the best interest of all of Chattanooga’s citizens, not just a select few. This year, more than ever, our city has experienced decreased revenues, escalating costs, shortages of police

and fire fighters, reduced recreation hours for inner city youth, and staunch public criticism. The city has not had a tax increase since 2001 and we have done much with very little.

For over five years, I have supported District 7 as your councilman and was reelected by a strong majority. You elected me to do the right thing, even when it is not the most popular. That is what I have done.

As a resident and small business owner in District 7, I understand the unique issues that affect our community. Doing the right thing means not sitting idly by and legislating on issues in order to be re-elected. You elected me to represent your best interests. That is what I have done and what I will continue to do.

In the future, when people come up to you and ask you to sign your name on a petition to oust someone they didn’t even have the right to elect, please do not be fooled by their misleading and untruthful facts they wish to distort. If you have questions and want to know the real facts, the real answers, please call or visit with me. I have always maintained an open-door, open-business, and open-phone policy. I am more than willing to listen.

It is an honor and privilege to serve you.

I hope you will continue to support me as I work for the betterment of District 7. If I may be of any assistance, please feel free to contact me any time, day or night, at (423) 425-7856 or rico_m@mail.chattanooga.gov .

Sincerely, Manny Rico Chattanooga City Councilman, District 7

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 26, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | The Pulse

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Chattanooga Street Scenes

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Photography by Louis Lee The Chattanooga National Cemetery installing new crypts near the front gate on Holtzclaw Ave.

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• When will drug dealers learn to keep their vehicles legal? While conducting a simple traffic stop in the parking lot of Walgreens on Gunbarrel Road, Chattanooga Police officers located components of a mobile meth lab in the trunk of a vehicle. Officers stopped a white Honda Accord in the Walgreens parking lot for a simple registration violation last week. During the course of the stop, officers found components of a mobile meth lab in the trunk, drug paraphernalia, and a small amount of marijuana and meth. The two occupants of the vehicle were transported to the Hamilton County Jail where they were charged with Conspiracy to Manufacture Meth, Possession of Drug Paraphernalia, Possession of Meth and Possession of Marijuana.

• Who tries robbing a bank with a phoned-in bomb threat? One not-sobright attempted bank robber tried to do just that last week, when he called a Ringgold bank and told them a bomb would go off if they didn’t do what he told them. Ringgold Police Chief Johnny

Gass says the bomb threat was called into the FSG Bank on Poplar Springs Road.

Police evacuated the area while the GBI bomb squad investigated. They found no sign of a bomb and took the suspect into custody.

• A Bradley County woman gets busted for theft, using new online technology. Bradley County detectives were following leads in the April 9th theft of jewelry from a home on Francisco Road. They were able to trace the stolen property to two local pawn shops using an online service.

“Leads on Line” is an investigation system used by law enforcement to locate stolen property sold in pawn shops or offered for sale on eBay. Descriptions of individual pieces in the pawnbroker’s record were sufficient for investigators to match them with items in the owner’s theft report. Detectives arrested the 33-year-old woman, charging her with theft over $500.

The List Top Ten Most Popular Pizza Toppings

• Highland Park residents had a front row seat last week to a 20 minute police chase through their neighborhood. It all started when a woman on Holly Street called 911 after her ex-boyfriend showed up at her house. The 20-year-old man had outstanding warrants against him for domestic dispute. When officers arrived, the man stole his ex's Lexus and led six patrol cars on a 20 minute chase in and out of the Highland Park area. Officers deploying spike strips managed to stop the car, but were forced to taze the man after he reached into his waistband as if going for a weapon. He’s was taken into custody...one officer suffered minor injuries during the chase.

1. Pepperoni 2. Italian Sausage 3. Ham 4. Ground Beef 5. Chicken 6. Onion 7. Green Pepper 8. Bacon 9. Black Olives 10. Pineapple From its humble beginnings with the ancient Greeks who covered bread with oils, herbs and cheese to modern day origins in Italy as a Neapolitan Pie, pizza has over the past fifty years established itself as a dominant mainstay of American cuisine. In fact, Americans consume an average of 100 acres of pizza every day, with sales of over $30 billion a year. That's a whole lot of slices...

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Shrink Rap

By Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D

The Power of Thought I

“For example, if you think, “I’m a loser.” And you say, “I’m a loser.” Guess how you’ll act?

Like a loser.

And the cycle continues.”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his new wellness center, Well Nest, at www.

WellNestChattanooga.com, and his web site at www.DrRPH.com

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was having a conversation recently with some friends, and the topic turned to “wellness of mind.”

This was our own phrase, but it really struck a chord about where the seeds of wellness—whole wellness of mind, body, emotions and spirit—really lie.

The conversation kept coming back to one guiding principle: everything begins with our thoughts.

So let’s revisit a perspective that you read about from time to time here: the power of thoughts, and how they lead us to words, actions, and ultimately, one’s reality. And how this certainly can be used to your advantage, depending, of course, on the nature of your thoughts!

This is why what we think and how we speak is so very important. Your thoughts plant the seeds for your life. The words you use bring those thoughts a step closer to reality. Your thoughts and words affect your behaviors, consciously and unconsciously.

Or as Winston Churchill put it, “You create your reality as you go along.”

For example, if you think, “I’m a loser.”

And you say, “I’m a loser.” Guess how you’ll act? Like a loser. And the cycle continues.

This is referred to as a “self-fulfilling prophecy” and in this case is a negative, harmful one. But if you think, “I’m a wise and compassionate person.” Or, “Today I’m all about giving and receiving love.” Then you’re going to engage with your world

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very differently. Like-minded others will be drawn to you, and the result is that all this good stuff you’re sending outward will come right back to surround you.

Now consider this: The next time you’re thinking an unkind thought about someone, or about to make a disparaging remark, see if you can catch yourself, and turn it around. “No, I don’t need to go there. Let me re-think something more positive.” (I’m not referring to good-natured ribbing here, or non-hurtful humor. I’m talking about mean-spiritedness, which is very different and based upon one’s own insecurities or jealousies.) Soon this practice will come naturally, easily, and you’ll become a happier person for it.

I’m a big believer in the idea of using a word (or phrase) to kick off your day. So you might begin your daily journey by asking yourself, What do I need or want to work on? Relationships…Success…

Health…Family…Spirituality…Parenting…

Singledom…Generosity…Happiness?

Then allow a word or phrase into your mind each morning. Say it out loud. Keep it in the front of your brain, and see how your day goes. An inspiring word can really help focus your thoughts and keep you committed to your path.

Need some suggestions to get started?

Strength. Humor. Today I trust myself.

Healthy mind and body. Today I am sober.

Vigilance. Kindness. Make others smile. I am open to all good things. Faith. I will be okay.

You might end your day with “an attitude

of gratitude,” thus book-ending your day with thoughts and words that inspire you, and then words to help you stay mindful, connected. (Many solid studies have been done on the power of gratitude, and how such thoughts actually impact our brain’s wiring in lasting, positive ways.)

Speaking of inspiring words, I’ve been reading about meditation and prayer in different cultures, and how our thoughts and words create the climate, and indeed the power, of prayer. All spiritualities pray or meditate in some form. I want to share with you some thoughts about prayer by Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich Nhat Hanh is a Buddhist monk, scholar, poet, human rights activist, author of over 60 books, and Nobel Peace Prize nominee (nominated by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.) In his book, The Energy of Prayer, he says, “When we pray and meditate with our focus on compassion, when our heart is full of love, then we are creating more love in the world. When we send this love and compassion outward, this is truly prayer.”

He goes on to talk about the energy created by our thoughts: “Everything arises from the mind. From this powerhouse we call mind, we can change the world. We change it by means of a real energy that we ourselves have created. This is the most effective way of prayer.”

Food for thought.

Until next time: “May I learn to look at myself with the eyes of understanding and love.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 26, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | The Pulse

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Cover Story

Connecting Chattanooga’s Sister Cities

By Maggie Behringer

Back in 1956, President Eisenhower hosed a conference at the White House focused on citizen diplomacy. The idea found its impetus in the post-World War II desire to create global connections and understanding across cultural and physical borders. Eisenhower’s hope for avoiding another international war, similar to President Wilson’s motivation for the League of Nations, was a program that would generate personal links to humanize the differences between countries.

“When you have friends between the citizens of cities, you’re not going to have war between them,” explained 12

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Georgia Eastman, President of the Sister Cities Association of Chattanooga.

As Eisenhower’s movement gathered momentum, its name went through a few revisions, People to People and the Town Affiliation Association. Brainstorming the titles’ purposeful nonthreatening and tolerance inspiring tone was the test ground for the Sesame Street gang’s material.

The organization inaugurated the School Affiliation Program, which may explain high school memories of the random exchange student who had crazy street cred simply by hailing from Eastern Europe, and the Volunteer Training for Youth Leadership Development.

Cover Story “Some connections are stronger bonds than others. Some grew out of friendships while others are characterized by swapping business and governmental ideas” Today, Sister City International unites cities in every state with cities and towns all over the globe such as Louisville and Tamale, Ghana, Chicago and Casablanca, and Juneau and Vladivostok, the Russian Federation.

If Katie Couric had only let Sarah Palin finish, the former Governor of Alaska would have cited this association as yet another example of her foreign policy experience, seeing as how she was close to the unveiling of a “trade mission” with Vladivostok.

In Chattanooga, we enjoy relations with five sister cities: Hamm, Germany, Wuxi, China, Givatayim, Israel, Nizhnii Tagil, the Russian Federation and Gangneung, the Republic of Korea.

We’ve collected them through similar business interests, board members’ personal knowledge of the countries, and even our past as part one of the late Walter Cronkite’s famous sound bites, that being his 1969 report concerning Chattanooga’s national bottom rung air quality.

Some connections are stronger bonds than others. Some grew out of friendships while others are characterized by swapping business and governmental ideas. One has sustained 24 years of student exchange programs and another recently inspired a “pin pal” program between Nizhnii Tagil’s School #5 and Chattanooga’s Barger Academy of Fine Arts.

A brief disclaimer to our dear readers: for all the Internet mining and research, there is very little material to infuse with the snarky Pulse angle in the case of three of the five cities. So we will have an interlude of straight reporting peppered with useful Jeopardy facts before warming up to the usual sarcasm and then hitting the mother lode of absurdity.

Our first sister city, Hamm, developed in 1975 out of DuPont managers’ constant back and forth between the Chattanooga plant and the German plant. Dr. Robert Collins and his family’s friendship with the then mayor of Hamm cemented the relationship after the American family transferred to Europe.

The city is located in the North RhineWestphalia province on the Lippe River.

Founded in 1226 by Count Adolf I of the Mark, it is quite resilient. In 1350, the Black Death killed off almost the entire population,

sparing only seven families, and a total of 55 air raids during World War II leveled 60 percent of the old city.

An industrial city, dealing in coal mining, steal, chemicals and car components, Hamm is both a transportation hub in Germany as well as a “City of Law.” The city operates a local court, an industrial court, an industrial appeal court and the highest German regional appeal court.

Since 1975, with only one year off, an exchange program has placed students from both Chattanooga and Hamm families for four to five weeks, in addition to adult visits.

“Once we had one established, those on the board decided ‘Let’s go forward’,” said Eastman.

We’ll break chronological order and save our Chinese sister city for later.

In 1988, Chattanooga signed the sister city version of marriage papers with Givatayim, Israel. A suburb of Tel Aviv, it is primarily a residential community. Local ruins date back to the Chalcolithic or Copper Age, though the modern city was founded in 1922. It boasts several firsts in the early Jewish settlement movement like the first cooperative grocery store.

The city’s mayors have a funny habit of serving extended terms. One politician reigned from 1941 to 1965, another 1973 to 1993. The current mayor, Reuven Ben-Shahar, is the first elected city executive from outside the Israeli Labor Party. Interestingly enough, Chattanooga is Givatayim’s only sister city and hosted one of its numerous acclaimed choirs last year.

The most recent partnership is with Gangneung, the Republic of Korea. For those still on the waiting list for the Official Names of Countries Almanac, we’re talking about South Korea as opposed to the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, or North Korea, which is not-so-democratically led by dictator Kim Jong-il.

Gangneung sits on the East coast of South Korea. Its beaches attract heavy local and international tourist traffic. The most famous is Jeongdongjin Beach, which has a picturesque train station right on the beach.

One of Korea’s highest ever rated soap operas,

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Cover Story “[Wuxi] is known for a particular food specialty, fried gluten. This substance is made from the gluten of wheat by stripping wheat flour dough of all its starch, which leaves an elastic mass of gluten.”

The Sandglass (The Hourglass), is filmed there. Souvenir vendors quickly capitalized on the opportunity and now hock hourglasses on the beach.

Visitors are also treated to what some might consider an eyesore, but what must have been Gangneung developers’ attempt to make the Guinness Book of World Records or fence a Darwin Award. One of the beach’s resort hotels, the Sun Cruise, is a giant cruise ship secured to the top of a hill.

The city’s sunset is also renowned as a romantic gathering sight for couples and it is said one can see the moon five ways at the same time: in the sky, reflected on the city’s lake, reflected on the sea, reflected in a drinking glass and once more in your lover’s eyes.

Students regularly visit Chattanooga to take English as a Second Language classes at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga.

Eastman also noted the city’s annual International Junior Art Festival, which draws performers from all continents and specializes in Korean youths’ demonstrations of traditional culture.

Bringing us back to material more suited to The Pulse’s slightly irreverent attitude, Wuxi, China become our second sister city in 1983.

Sister Cities Association of Chattanooga Board Member Jen Tory, who grew up in China, facilitated the match along with the Wuxi representatives of the Chinese People’s Association for the Friendship with Foreign Countries.

That is not a Saturday Night Live parody name, but is in fact the organization’s real name and should be remembered when reading about the city’s take-no-prisoners foray into American business.

Two fugitive princes, looking to install their brother on the throne, founded Wuxi 3,000 years ago. Its landscape boasts views of the Yangtze River and Taihu Lake. The Hunter Museum recently exhibited a hundred photographs of Wuxi that will soon appear in Chattanooga City Hall and possibly UTC’s Lupton Library. The Asian city had held a well received showing of 100 photos of Chattanooga.

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Nicknamed “Little Shanghai,” Wuxi is Chattanooga’s largest sister city with a population of 4.4 million. Beyond the art exchange, our interaction with the city has been primarily relegated to visits from government officials. These groups meet with both the City Council and Chamber of Commerce, which Eastman credits to the groups’ interest in exploring potential trade opportunities.

However, it seems Wuxi has bigger fish to fry—like the good folks in the pharmaceutical industry. In 2008, Pfizer announced an expansion of its existing relationship with WuXi PharmaTech to include services related to in-vitro science. The Chinese company later negotiated a buyout worth $1.6 billion.

The lucky buyer, Charles River Laboratories, paid 28 percent more per share than Wuxi’s closing share on the New York Stock Exchange just days earlier.

Forbes Magazine has ranked Wuxi second on its list of Best Business Cities on the Chinese Mainland in 2008. As of 2005, the city approved 9,659 foreign-funded enterprises for a total infusion of $41.57 billion and to date, 72 Fortune 500 companies are on the record with 134 projects ongoing or completed.

The city’s marketing campaign to attract foreign money may remind readers of the language of Mao’s Red China. Documents frequently describe the city and its citizens as “opening up” to the Western world. A profile prepared by the Wuxi Foreign Affairs Office concludes with an affirmation of the city’s plan to amp up the “pace of economic development and urban construction” and a lasting gem of a sentence: “Wuxi tomorrow will be more attractive and full of greater vigor and vitality.”

One last bit about Wuxi. Besides its penchant for business, the city is known for a particular food specialty, fried gluten. This substance is made from the gluten of wheat by stripping wheat flour dough of all its starch, which leaves an elastic mass of gluten.

Frying this apparently enhances its natural texture. It typically comes in a can and is paired with black mushrooms.

Cover Story Fried gluten is a harrowing sight, an assembly of brown pieces submerged in a thin brown broth with a scaly skin that looks like raw chicken skin. It’s more frightening than really pondering the origin and cooking process of the fried chicken from a rural gas station. Do not look up the picture on Wikipedia. It’s really not worth it.

Finally, we come to the big finish, the sister city to beat out all sister cities in ridiculousness. Process of elimination leaves us with Nizhnii Tagil, Chattanooga’s fourth sister city since 1996.

The match was made based on the shared experience with air pollution. A Vermont organization, the Institute for Sustainable Communities, proposed a partnership seeing how Chattanooga has had its own air quality indiscretions and the Russian city had been designated an environmental emergency zone.

Located in the Ural Mountain in Siberia, Nizhnii Tagil’s industrial history stretches back to its beginnings in 1696 with the Visokogorski iron ore.

The city produced Russia’s first bicycle and steam locomotive.

In modern times, it deals in mining, chemistry, metallurgy and heavy manufacturing. Legend claims the copper used in the Statue of Liberty’s skin came from this city.

Gene Hyde, the City of Chattanooga’s Urban Forester, visited Nizhnii Tagil and worked with delegations from the city sent to Tennessee, who focused on learning what the Southern City did to clean up its pollution. He remembers how attentive the Russians were as well as their good ideas.

He said there had been a substantial amount of exchange and progress had been made in terms of solid waste and recycling.

Hyde allowed he hadn’t been in recent touch with those contacts, mostly due to the strict security enforced in Nizhnii

Tagil by the KGB’s successors. Stringent measures like temporarily confiscating passports and tracking visitors is perhaps prudent on the Russian city’s part as it is home to the Strategic Rocket Forces’ 42nd Missile division and has a stronghold of Topol nuclear missiles.

These beauties weigh roughly 100,000 lbs, measure about 75 ft in length and are equipped with a single 550 kT warhead. Russian armed forces transport them on camouflage painted trucks. They sometimes even pop up at Victory Day anniversary parades in major cities.

The city’s militaristic activities also extend to manufacturing tanks, specifically the T-72 and T-90 models, in addition to the now likely terminated T-95. Nizhnii Tagil’s Uralvagonzavod stands as Russia’s premiere tank producers and one of the country’s largest scientific and industrial

complexes. Army and other defense sources credit it as the world’s largest battle tank manufacturer.

But no worries. Nizhnii Tagil is also renowned for its decorative trays. From the 18th to 20th centuries, the town supported schools of masters who painted flower bouquets, landscapes and ornamental patterns on specially lacquered trays. A recent resurgence in interest in the style’s fresco like techniques brought new masters and popularity to the area’s trays.

Historically, the Demidov family, a prominent clan dating back to the 1600s and nearly reaching Tsar level wealth around the turn of the 19th century, patronized the arts and culture in Nizhnii Tagil. Libraries, museums and a future Demidov Park are results of efforts to sustain the city as the Ural Mountains’ most edified metropolis.

To recap, Chattanooga has sister city associations with cities around the world that have such idiosyncrasies as a cruise ship on a hill, a relentless drive to conquer the American marketplace, a large collection of courts, a know-how to run successful cooperative grocery stores and a sizeable armory.

With any luck, our sister cities won’t realize they’re only two degrees of separation away each other. Such a discovery could either lead to a co-op feature on the dining menu on the Sun Cruise or a Chinese takeover carried out in Russian tanks and legalized in German courts.

Hopefully, this annotated story of our sister cities has inspired travel plans or even sparked a slight bit of the awareness Eisenhower’s program aimed to create. One last word to the wise: do remember your passport. A Tennessee driver’s license is not an approved form of identification for international travel, even to Chattanooga’s sister cities.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 26, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | The Pulse

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Music Feature

By Tara Morris-Viland

The Blood Feathers Swoop Into JJ’s F

or those who have read past articles of mine you may notice I tend to shy away from JJ’s Bohemia. It is not because I am not absolutely in love with the venue and its people. Nor that I don’t believe that at any point in the week you can’t walk in and see an amazing local or worldwide performance. It is more because I am jealous.

Yes, I know it’s an ugly color and not something I am known for. But when it comes to JJ’s, I am jealous. I am jealous of the kids that are able to go in three times or more a week and call it home. Many of these people are my friends, neighbors and some I haven’t gotten to meet yet. Many of them are all too familiar with my Fat Tire filled rants of how happy I am to be there every time I walk in the door.

Many other members of the JJ’s Appreciation Club aren’t able to make it as much as they want either but, we all know plain and simple that JJ’s, for the lack of a better word, is the “bomb”. Sometimes our family/school/work life keeps us away but on August 31st I will have to give the family and all a musical excuse to get my butt down to MLK to see a band from Philly, The Blood Feathers.

Philebrity is where “the it” bands are signed to in Philadelphia. The “it bands” are the ones at one point who didn’t mean anything but you dug the songs. You may have had the CD but let it get scratched—now they are topping Pollstar. These kinds of bands are a regular occurrence and The Blood Feathers are another great example of the class, talent, and ever passing love that JJ’s has about bringing great bands into our community.

I spoke with Ben of the Blood Feathers this past week and learned some interesting facts about the boys.

A six piece band, they thrive on song titles such as “Down in the Valley”, “Origins”, and “Don’t Know You At All”. Their latest album dropped this past January, Goodness Gracious. When asking where the Goodness Gracious derived from, Ben explained that part of this CD was recorded in a faraway place—Nova Scotia.

When the boys awoke in this amazing home owned by actor producer and long time friend Ethan Hawke the only reaction they had was “Goodness Gracious”. The beautiful landscape and aura of the location brought not only a natural vibe to this record but a sense of peace to the home, which in both ways brings us powerful, real, and gravitating music.

The bands first release, Curse and Praise, was the beginning for The Blood Feathers founders Ben Dickey and Drew Mills in 2005 and it hasn’t stopped there. The duo began as a way for the so-called band bachelors to share their music and with the addition of fellow members they have found a sound that relives their idea and personal gifts of rock-n-roll, soul, and R&B. Ben spent some time in Atlanta and Arkansas before

“The Blood Feathers are another great example of the class, talent, and ever passing love that JJ’s has about bringing great bands into our community.”

For a group of us this will be our first week back to school or beginning of the second week for our UTC friends. And after a nine-to-nine day filled with non-linear editing, musical appreciation, speech, and that dreaded math that has haunted me well into my twenties, I am going to be ready to hear the sweet steady heart beats of this Philebrity signed band.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of spending more than a Greyhound landing or pit stop in Pennsylvania, the label

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

moving to Pennsylvania and this Southeastern tour brings back great memories and pride to the band.

They are super excited about playing JJ’s Bohemia for the first time as they make their way along to Georgia, Arkansas, up to Illinois, and then back to Pennsylvania, only to end up in Canada playing a three date tour with greats such as The Walkmen. Their bio states that they are preened and cleaned while featuring horns, keys, four-part harmonies, swirling guitars, and a rhythm section that would make Bo Diddley proud.

Come on out Tuesday night and you can see just what it is that I am just so jealous about.

The Blood Feathers 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Boulevard (423) 266-1400 www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

New Music Reviews Fennesz/Daniell/ Buck Knoxville (Thrill Jockey)

“Everyone treads carefully, building only when there’s a consensus and attempting to add to the collective identity .”

By Ernie Paik

Composer John Zorn wrote, concerning the process of assembling musicians for his improvised “game pieces,” “It’s about cooperation, interaction, checks and balances, tension and release and many more elusive, ineffable things both musical and social.” Doing it properly, he wrote, involves “…an understanding of tactics…and group chemistry.”

That’s one way to approach such music, but what to make of the live, improvised album Knoxville, created by three musicians who had never collaborated before?

Knoxville was recorded at last year’s inaugural Big Ears Festival—a sort of indoor Bonnaroo for avant-garde and experimental music aficionados—and it brought together electronics sorcerer Christian Fennesz, guitarist David Daniell of the band San Agustin, and drummer Tony Buck of the minimalist Australian trio The Necks.

The continuous half-hour set features four titled tracks, divided sensibly considering the retreats and swells of the proceedings, and overall, with the lack of showboating, there is restraint and politeness. Some of Fennesz’s most affecting solo work is noisy and glitchy, but that side is not heavily represented here; primarily there are abstract sci-fi tones, sustained or slowly pulsing. Buck plays in a more free

Omar Souleyman Jazeera Nights: Folk and Pop Sounds of Syria (Sublime Frequencies) The record label Sublime Frequencies deserves kudos for being a kind of more daring and farout version of Smithsonian Folkways, scouring the corners of the globe for striking folk, pop, and rock music and bringing it to western audiences, and one of its notable discoveries in the last few years

is the Syrian singer Omar Souleyman. Very likely, Souleyman would be completely unknown and ignored in the states, instead of relatively unknown, without four things: 1) Sublime Frequencies, 2) an endorsement from Björk, 3) his YouTube video “Leh Jani,” and 4) his unmistakable appearance, being a sort of funny-looking fellow with a mustache, sunglasses, and a red-and-white patterned keffiyeh headdress. Without some musical reference points (if any) or a comprehension of Arabic, western listeners are left to absorb Souleyman’s music on a visceral, immediate level; fortunately, that’s where it works.

Jazeera Nights is Souleyman’s third compilation for Sublime Frequencies, culling live recordings from purportedly hundreds of releases over the last fifteen years; it’s a mixture of the regional dabke style with Iraqi, Kurdish, and Turkish elements, but

fashion on Knoxville than how he typically plays with The Necks, which involves long stretches of gradually changing patterns. Of the three, Daniell perhaps plays with the most recognizable style, with an evocative, wandering manner.

Everyone treads carefully, building only when there’s a consensus and attempting to add to the collective identity instead of simply overlaying their vocabularies.

The final track, “Diamond Mind,” is the highlight of the album, starting with a loose repetition and forming a long sound swell, enhanced by Buck’s soft bass drum taps and cymbal washes. Upon this first performance, the identity isn’t quite distinguished; however, there is clearly a great potential here, and Knoxville may appeal to fans of the kosmische band Cluster or maybe even Brian Eno’s collaborations with Robert Fripp. more concisely for state-side ears, it’s party music, although certain translated song titles (e.g. “I Will Dig Your Grave with My Hands”) belie that. Souleyman and company are not averse to mixing electronic and acoustic instruments, often using a drum machine to establish a breakneck speed and an effects-processed keyboard that taps out frantic melodies, a bit like if “Flight of the Bumblebee” used Middle Eastern scales.

A typical song features Souleyman with agitated, echoing vocals, playing call and response with the keyboard, with a dizzying tag-team approach. It’s compelling stuff in an oddly tense yet fun way, but where does it stand in the scheme of Syrian music? I’d be lying if I said I knew, and more reference points would be welcome, from Sublime Frequencies and others, in this uncrowded domestic marketplace.

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Music Calendar Thursday Spotlight

Heavy Cream Record release party with the kitties from Nashville. $6 9 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. (423) 386-3066. myspace.com/discotecabar

Thursday Happy Hour Serenade with David Anthony 5:00 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Live Team!

7:30 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com Maroon 5 featuring Kris Allen 7:30 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627.

Jimmy Harris 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Eddies of the Wind 9 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Tim and Reece 9 p.m. Barts Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Heavy Cream (Infinity Cat Record Release) 9:30 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. (423) 386-3066. www.myspace.com/discotecabar Soul Sessions 10 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Friday Spotlight

Racing Death, Nightmare River Band 10 p.m. JJ's Bohemia, 231 MLK Blvd., (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Friday Happy Hour Serenade with David Anthony 5:00 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Ben Friberg Trio 6 p.m. Table 2, 232 E.11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com MeloManiacs 7 p.m. Bluff View Art District, Terrazine b/t Tony’s and Back-Inn Café, 411 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033.

Third Lobby 7 p.m. Miller Plaza, Nightfall, 850 Market St. www.nightfallchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd #202.

(423) 499-5055.

The Showdown, Becoming the Archetype, Thaddeus, Dispel the Serpent’s Lie 7:30 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Rock N’ Roll Spectacular 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com Dana Rogers 7:30 p.m. Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538. blueorleanscreolerestaurant.com

Warren Hood 8 p.m. Miller Plaza, Nightfall 850 Market St. www.nightfallchattanooga.com Sam Bush in concert with Slim Pickens 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Gestapo Khazi (long beach) 9 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. (423) 386-3066. www.myspace.com/discotecabar Ryan Oyer 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com The Nim Nims, The Tammys, Jason Ewton 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Hasty in The Ruckus 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

Saturday Possum Hunters 12 p.m. Chattanooga Market, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-9270. www.chattanoogamarket.com American Aquarium 2:45 p.m. 16th Annual Southern Brewer's Festival, Chattanooga Riverfront. (423) 424-2000. www.southernbrewersfestival.com Ponderosa 5 p.m. 16th Annual Southern Brewer's Festival, Chattanooga Riverfront. (423) 424-2000.

Trisha Yearwood 6 p.m. Convention and Trade Center, One Carter Plaza.

(423) 648-1707.

Warren Hood Jazz, blues and newgrass with master string player Hood.

Free 7 p.m. opener, 8 p.m. headliner Nightfall, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. www.nightfallchattanooga.com MeloManiacs 7 p.m. Bluff View Art District, Terrazine b/t Tony’s and Back-Inn Café, 411 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033.

Axiom! (One Year Show), Failing the Fairest, Deadfall Six, My Friend the Captain 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn New Orleans Jazz Trio 7 p.m. Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538. blueorleanscreolerestaurant.com Kelly Price 7 p.m. Tivoli Theater, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050.

Jimmy Harris 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Rock N’ Roll Spectacular 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Centennial Theatre, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com Karl Denson's Tiny Universe 7:45 p.m. 16th Annual Southern Brewer's Festival, Chattanooga Riverfront. (423) 424-2000. www.southernbrewersfestival.com

Music Calendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Saturday Spotlight

The Distribution, How I Became the Bomb No need to get funkier than this. $7 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Soul Survivor 9 p.m. Barts Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Bourbon Street Bands 9 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985. www.townandcountryinn.net Open Mic Night 9 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043. www.mudpierestuarant.com Big Head Todd and the Monsters 10 p.m. 16th Annual Southern Brewer's Festival, Chattanooga Riverfront. (423) 424-2000. www.southernbrewersfestival.com Dirk Quinn Band 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com The Distribution with How I Became the Bomb 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

Gentleman Jesse and His Men, w/ Barreracudas 10 p.m. Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. (423) 386-3066.

Big Kitty, Ahsley and X's, Dolphin Mouth 10 p.m. JJ's Bohemia, 231 MLK Blvd., (423) 266-1400.

Sunday Spotlight

Sunday

Monday

Mountain View Bluegrass 11 a.m. Chattanooga Market, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-9270. www.chattanoogamarket.com New Binkley Brothers 12:00 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (706) 820-2531.

Steel String Session 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-9270.

Slim Pickins 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-9270.

Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. myspace.com/debbieslounge Pay The Reckoning, Traditional Irish Music Sesson 6 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com We Leave At Midnight 7 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Call to Preserve, Dead Icons, Stand United, Worker, My War 7:30 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd. East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Open Mic 8 p.m. Gene’s Bar & Grill, 724 Ashland Terrace, (423) 870-0880. myspace.com/genem14 Free Sabbath Dance Party 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Mountain Music 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Paul Lohorn and the Monday Nite Big Band 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Cool Hand Luke, This is Luke, Quiet Science, Saving Ashley, The Water Boy 7:30 p.m. The Warehouse, 716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn

Tuesday Ben Friberg Jazz Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Gentlemens Jazz Quartet 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Spoken Word/Poetry Night 8 p.m. The Riverhouse, 224 Frazier Ave., (423) 752-0066.

Rehab with Big Bottom 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Blues Night - Tim Starnes, Jacob Newman 9 p.m. Barts Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com

Music at the Market All kinds of pickers at the Market this week.

Free 11 a.m.: Mountain View Bluegrass, 12:30 p.m. Jill Jack, 2 p.m. Steel String Session Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 266-9270. www.chattanoogamarket.com The Blood Feathers 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia DJ ScubaSteve Fox and Hound Pub & Grille, 2040 Hamilton Place Blvd #150, (423) 490-1200.

Wednesday Ben Friberg Jazz Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Jimmy Harris 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Johnny B. and Friends 8 p.m. Bourbon Street Music Bar, 2000 E. 23rd St. (423) 826-1985. www.townandcountryinn.net Nathan Farrow Band 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Open Mic Night 9 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 26, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | The Pulse

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Life in the Noog

By Chuck Crowder

It’s Not The Heat…It’s The HEAT! I

“We guys have to admit that while their long hair may make them feel a little uncomfortable up top, a lady’s loose-fitting airy sundress has been a secret envy of ours at one time or another.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website thenoog.com

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n the steamy summer days of my youth, my mom would always declare it was “hotter than blue blazes.”

Despite the obvious reference to the core of a flame, I never really quite understood what she meant by that until this summer. It’s hot. Wicked hot.

And it doesn’t seem to be letting up any time soon.

With temps hovering in the high nineties, low one hundreds EVERY SINGLE DAY, it’s enough to grill hamburgers and hot dogs— without the Kingsford charcoal. I made an egg salad sandwich to eat in the park, but by the time I got to the second half it was over easy. I even tried to make sun tea, but when I went back to get the jar it was empty. It’s just plain hot…and boring.

Normal summertime activities like Nightfall or a Lookouts game have to be planned for like a trip to the beach.

Sunglasses, zinc oxide, SPF 50, water bottle, mini handheld fan with extra batteries, novelty umbrella hat and of course the kids (for getting water bottle refills).

Even the Chattanooga Market on Sundays has been rough. It’s been so hot that the produce keeps growing on the tables. And the vendors? I didn’t realize you could get heat exhaustion sitting still in a lawn chair selling swag under the cover of a pavilion with “Big Ass” ceiling fans working hard from above.

But let me tell you as one myself, we’re hot.

And I don’t mean Farrah Fawcett hot. I’m talking Beelzebub hot. El Diablo hot.

The only relief I’ve had from our hell on earth this summer was a trip with my

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

daughter out to Los Angeles for a week.

Despite its sunny disposition and proximity to the ocean, LA on the week of July 4th boasted highs in the upper sixties, low seventies. Considering my constantly engaged thermostat back here at home is set at 74 degrees, LA was like having air conditioning—outdoors. Now I know why 11 million people can put up with a little smog in the mornings.

I once dated a girl from Tucson, Arizona.

When we poor Southerners would complain that it was a little warm, she would regale us with tales of her days growing up in the desert when simply leaving a cassette tape lying in your car could mean a permanent melted dashboard ornament. A climate where cigarette lighters and canned beverages would spontaneously combust in locked cars on a regular basis. A place where people respected rolled down car windows or vehicles left running by not taking the easy opportunity to steal something. We would listen in awe, but complained just the same.

Luckily for her sake this girl was blessed with a sort of lack of “endowment” that enabled her to go braless without much added attention from leering passersby. I hear, however, from more shapely ladies that the heat can produce a reservoir of perspiration in upper body undergarments that is both unsightly, and uncomfortable.

As a guy, it’s commonly known that “powdering the donuts” with talcum or Gold Bond before a lengthy outdoor activity in the heat can prevent road rash down under. In fact, besides foot itch, I’ve always thought that was the main (albeit unadvertised) purpose of Gold Bond. So let me go on record as stating

that if this column serves as something more than a place for the pooch to pee, I hope it effectively conveys to ladies the advantages of Gold Bond in creating a buffer between “the girls” and their unmentionables.

Despite popular belief, girls sweat.

Gentlemen will be nice and say they “glisten.”

They don’t. Ask any woman and they’ll admit to pit puddles and the occasional drip that starts between the shoulder blades and slowly creeps its way down their backs until it rests between their cheeks—just like a guy.

But even so, they seem to look (and smell) much better than some sweaty dude soaking through his Dave Matthews tee in the hot sun. Plus, we guys have to admit that while their long hair may make them feel a little uncomfortable up top, a lady’s loose-fitting airy sundress has been a secret envy of ours at one time or another.

I’m bald and my head will bead up like a shiny new freshly washed Cadillac when out in the sun. Sounds gross, but it feels fantastic when the thin layer of sweat on my noggin meets the cool wind of a hard working air conditioner. Some sort of reaction occurs where the moisture immediately soaks up the cool breezes of BTU’s and rapidly drops my crown temp down about ten degrees. Ahhhh.

I thought the frigid temps of this past winter would mean a mild summer. At least that’s what any armchair meteorologist will tell you. However, aside from maybe killing off the mosquitoes that normally make summer an itchy time, all this winter and summer have taught me is that global warming may actually be a hot topic these days.

Stay cool!

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Arts & Entertainment

By Hellcat

A Re:Sounding Story For Music Y

ou may remember, about a year ago, I was all excited about this up and coming musical co-op that was forming in Chattanooga, called Re:Sound.

If you don’t, let me refresh your memory.

Re:Sound is a non-profit organization developed for local, regional, national, and amateur musicians to have a place to hone their skills.

Basically, it would be like a musician business center.

It will be a place that helps to “serve musicians, the community, and the music industry in the Chattanooga region, through live performances, music instruction and education, and access to professional resources,” according to the mission statement of the project.

What professional resources? Well, all of them. Imagine a place that is your one stop shop for all your musical needs. You need to learn to play guitar? Come on down to Re:Sound. You need to learn how to market your band?

Check Re:Sound for a promotions class. Let me guess, you need practice space? Re:Sound. Your bass amp blew and you are one song short of completing your album? I bet Re:Sound has one.

They even haggle for you. If you are looking for affordable ways to print your flier or make some shirts, they will find the best and most affordable options available to you in this area. I know, I sound like a commercial for Re:Sound, but I can’t contain my excitement. It truly is a wonderful idea.

I spoke to Ms. Re:Sound herself, Jen Gregory, for the scoop on what is going on, and here is what I found.

Re:Sound is very much in the works. They are fully developed as an agency, ready to provide all the services and help that all of you local and aspiring musicians require, but there is one problem. They need a physical address. They need a home. Ideally, they need a home that could host live performances, but hey, they aren’t greedy, so they will take whatever they can get and work

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from there. What is a non-profit to do if they need to raise funds? Rock out for a good cause, of course.

Personally, I think that everyone who wields an instrument or even likes music should get behind this project. Re:Sound could be the stepping stone to so many local artists actually making a career out of their love for music. Professionalism; not all musicians have it, but luckily that is where Re:Sound will come in.

In an effort to raise the funds necessary to establish a physical address, Re:Sound is putting on NoogaPalooza.

The event is September 5th and it begins at the Chattanooga Market from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m, where local acts will be performing for free, and they are hosting a beer tasting that will cost $5. That’s a pretty good deal. Booze and musicians for $5.

But the fun doesn’t stop there. The main event is at the First Tennessee Pavilion from 7 p.m. to Midnight. The main event is what intrigues me, it is a “Rock Lottery”. A “Rock Lottery” is where musicians throw their names in a hat, and the names that are drawn out together form a band together for the weekend. The participants have three days of rehearsal time before their performance on Sunday, which we will all get to see. The cost is $15, which includes a t-shirt, so I better see you guys out there.

The point of this little lottery is to help the musical community interact in a way that they probably haven’t tried, and to promote networking. It will force some musicians out of their comfort zone and put them in a position where they might try new things.

Imagine what could come from an unusual pairing like Ramble Horse playing with the Murdergrass Boys, or if we took a member from Land Camera, The Distribution, and Moonlight Bride, and put them with a big band.

The possibilities are endless, which is part of the fun for the audience. It might be a train wreck, but it might be awesome, and by awesome, I mean, super awesome.

The goal is for the musicians to connect with each other by being thrown together and creating. I see it as a

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

potential way to overcome genre, taste, and social barriers, and to give all those that participate a new found respect for other styles of music. There will be winners and prizes for those voted the most successful in their musical collaboration, but it isn’t supposed to be geared toward what you can win, but that you create something new that no one has ever heard and you have fun doing it. It is more about the process than the competition.

So, if you are a musician, and you aren’t involved in this yet, I suggest you get to it. If you are interested, go to Noogapalooza.com and register. All you have to do is list what instruments you can play and a bit of your music background. The drawing is on Sept. 1st and you have until August 29th to register to participate.

Don’t worry, a lot of notable musicians have already signed up, so you won’t be by yourself. I think this is a really refreshing idea, and I hope all of you can get behind it. Support local music.

A&E Calendar Highlights Friday

Thursday

“A Creole Night” at the Hunter Chef Mike Adams of Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant guests as part of “Identities” series.

Included with $9.95 museum admission 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Chattanooga Market Thursday Plaza Party 11 a.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. www.chattanoogamarket.com “The Way I See It” Closing Reception 4 p.m. My Color Image Boutique and Gallery, 330 Frazier Ave. (423) 598-6202.

“Nature’s Way” Opening Reception 6 p.m. Bill Shores Frame and Gallery, 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 756-6746. www.billshoresframes.com The Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

The Producers 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208.

The Midnight Swinger 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

“Collecting is a Legacy: The Thompson-Wilson Collection” Opening day of new exhibit featuring 48 works from African American artists. $7 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658. www.bessiesmithcc.org

Saturday

The Producers The classic tale of two inept producers who accidentally create a hit. $15 - $25 8 p.m.

Main Stage, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River Street.

(423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

YPAC August Luncheon Noon. Loose Cannon, 1800A Rossville Avenue. www.ypchattanooga.org Last Fridays on Main 5 p.m. Southside Historic District, Main St. near Market St. lastfridaysonmain.blogspot.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com The Midnight Swinger 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Treasure Island 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Crl., Ringgold, GA. (706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org Romeo & Juliet 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Wild Ocean in 3D 8 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

The Producers 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Hubble in 3D 9 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.com/imax The Midnight Swinger 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com Chattanooga Professional Photography Group Exhibit North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102.

(423) 870-8924.

Cherokee Stone Carvings Bill Shores Frame and Gallery, 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 756-6746. www.billshoresframes.com

Sunday Habitat for Humanity 5K Mud Run 8 a.m. Greenway Farms, Lake Resort Dr. (423) 756-0507. www.chattanoogamudrun.com Walk for Honduras and Fun Festival 8:30 a.m. The Pointe Corporate Centre, I75 @ East Brainerd Rd. www.Predisan.org Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Mosaic Market 11 a.m. 412 Market St. (corner of 4th/Market). (423) 624-3915 Art Til Dark 12 p.m. Northshore, Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. arttildark.wordpress.com 16th Annual Southern Brewers Festival 2 p.m. Chattanooga Riverfront, Riverfront Pkwy. www. southernbrewersfestival.com Romeo & Juliet 2 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Jacksonville Suns 6:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208.

Kelly Price – Ruby Hurley Image Awards 7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050.

The Midnight Swinger 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Treasure Island 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, GA. (706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org Comedian Darryl Rhoades 9 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com The Midnight Swinger 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Female Impersonation Show 12 a.m. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Luck of the Draw Improvised full-length musical. $10 2:30 p.m.

Humanities Theater, Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Highway.

(423) 697-3426.

Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041. www.chattanoogamarket.com French and English Antique Auction 1 p.m. Meeks Auctions, 5006 Dayton Blvd. (423) 875-9828. www.Lesmeeksauctions.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs.

Jacksonville Suns 2:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com The Producers 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Romeo & Juliet 3 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com The Midnight Swinger 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com “Fresh Coastal Scenes” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

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A&E Calendar Highlights Monday Chattanooga RMHC Verizon Wireless Golf Classic 7:30 a.m. Black Creek Club, 4700 Cummings Cove Dr. www.rmhchattanooga.com Speak Easy: Spoken Word and Poetry 8 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9040. www.mudpierestaurant.com “Kathleen Mack Exhibit” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Figures” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchatt.com “The Myth of Mary Gregory” Houston Museum of Decorative Arts, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com “Collecting is a Legacy: The Thompson-Wilson Collection” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd.

(423) 266-8658. www.caamhistory.org

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Tuesday Boardwalk Bash Kick-Off and Art Auction 5:30 p.m. Hutcherson & McCullough, PLLC, 1200 Market St. www.alatn.org Public Art Meeting for the Northshore 6 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 643-6886.

Flick’s Café: Films of the 1990s: Empire of the Air 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga-Hamilton County Bicentennial Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310. lib.chattanooga.gov Book Review: BRAINWASHED: Challenging the Myth of Black Inferiority by Tom Burrell 6:30 p.m. Rock Point Books, 401 Broad St. (423) 756-2855. www.rockpointbooks.com “Street Art” The Arts Center, Athens, TN. (423) 745-8781.

“The Way I See It” My Color Image Boutique and Gallery, 330 Frazier Ave. (423) 598-6202.

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Wednesday Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com “New Imagery” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com Cherokee Stone Carvings Bill Shores Frame and Gallery, 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 756-6746. www.billshoresframes.com Stephen Rolfe Powell Glass Exhibition Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org “Flavors of Tuscany” by Cam Busch North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102.

(423) 870-8924 “Kathleen Mack Exhibit” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Figures” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270.

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Mexican Folkloric Dance Lessons for Beginners Learn the basics of several styles of Mexican dance, just in time for the holidays! Taught by Sylvia Rangel. $20 for weekly series 6:30 – 7:30 p.m.

Wednesday, Sept. 1 – through Wednesday, Oct. 20 St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 400-7067, www.standrews.org

JONESIN’

Across 1 Like British Parliament 10 Viscounts’ superiors 15 Kind of blood 16 Do an entry-level job?

17 Loses membership?

18 In safekeeping 19 Palindromic 1977 Steely Dan album 20 Desolate 21 Gossipmonger 22 John’s 2008 running mate 24 Frat party wear 26 “And remember, mud spelled backwards is ___” (Bugs Bunny) 27 Beats twice-over in a race 30 Make certain 32 Nose-in-the-air type 35 Computer brand 36 Lucky charms 40 ___ way (not at all) 41 To come 42 Admits 44 Herbie et al.

47 Microchip with thousands of transistors, for short 48 “The Killing Fields” Oscar winner Haing S. ___

51 Faith that celebrates Ramadan 53 Gets stuck in a bog 55 Use a code on a video game 58 “Rubicon” network 59 Wordsworth, for one 60 Held 62 ___-cop 63 Heavenly, in a way 64 Albino rocker Winter 65 Hoax Down 1 Mouths, in Mexico 2 One place to keep candy 3 Lucrezia Borgia’s brother 4 Piers Morgan show, for short 5 “The medium is the message” coiner McLuhan 6 State, to the French 7 Lovely Beatles girl 8 Turn away 9 Infomercial guy Matthew with those question markcovered suits 10 Director Atom 11 Duncan appointed to the

“Crossing Over” –no theme, no problem.

Obama cabinet 12 Bring on again 13 Professor on a circuit 14 East Coast clams 23 Late Oldsmobile models 25 2009 Robert Duvall movie 28 Attacking, slapstick-style 29 Cartman cohort 31 Plea to a superhero 33 What-___ 34 Sketch comedy show once with Rick Moranis 36 Between Taylor and Pierce 37 Like some arguments 38 Constantly at work 39 Electron paths 43 GM service 45 Quick look 46 Identical to 49 Razor manufacturer?

50 Actress Mitra of “Underworld: Rise of the Lycans” 52 “Keep the hot side hot” fast food sandwich 54 “It is,” in Spain 56 MIT grad, often 57 Suit to ___ 61 “There’s no ___ team”

Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0482.

Free Will Astrology

By Rob Brezsny Truthrooster@gmail.com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Our sun doesn’t really have a name. The word “sun” is a generic term that can refer to any of trillions of stars. So I’d like to propose that you come up with a name for it. It could be a nickname or a title, like “Big Singer” or “Aurora Rex” or “Joy Shouter” or “Renaldo.” I hope this exercise will get you in the mood to find names for a whole host of other under-identified things in your life, like the mysterious feelings that are swirling around inside you right now, and your longings for experiences that don’t exist yet, and your dreams about the elusive blessings you want so bad.

Season of Rot and Regeneration.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The odometer will turn over soon, metaphorically speaking. The big supply of the stuff you stocked up on a while back is about to run out. The lessons you began studying a year ago have been completed, at least for now, and you’re not yet ready for the next round of teachings. These are just some of the indicators that suggest you should set aside time for reflection and evaluation. The world may come pounding at your door, demanding that you make a dramatic declaration or take decisive action, but in my opinion you should stall. You need to steep in this pregnant pause.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Why should you work harder than everyone else? Why is it up to you to pick up the slack when others are suffering from outbreaks of laziness and incompetence? And why should you be the fearless leader who is focused on fixing the glitches and smoothing over the rough patches when no one else seems to care whether things fall apart? I’ll tell you why, Aries: because it’s the Karmic Correction phase of your long-term cycle—a time when you can atone for past mistakes, pay off old debts, and make up for less-than-conscientious moves you got away with once upon a time.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Most discussions on TV news shows involve so-called experts shouting simplistic opinions at each other. They may provide some meager entertainment value, but are rarely enlightening. In contrast to these paltry spectacles were the salons at Paris’ Cafe Guerbois in 1869. A group of hard-working artists and writers gathered there to inspire each other. The painter Claude Monet wrote that their discussions “sharpened one’s wits, encouraged frank and impartial inquiry, and provided enthusiasm that kept us going for weeks . . . One always came away feeling more involved, more determined, and thinking more clearly and distinctly.” That’s the kind of dynamic interaction you should seek out in abundance, Scorpio.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “What is the source of our first suffering?” wrote philosopher Gaston Bachelard.

“It lies in the fact that we hesitated to speak. It was born in the moment when we accumulated silent things within us.” Luckily for you, Taurus, the cosmic rhythms are aligned in such a way as to free you from at least some of that old suffering in the coming weeks.

I expect that you will have more power than usual to say what you’ve never been able to say and express a part of you that has been buried too long.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the movies I’ve seen that depict battle scenes from hundreds of years ago, every army has numerous soldiers whose job it is to carry festive flags and pennants. If this is an accurate depiction of history, what does it mean? That powerful symbols were crucial to inspiring the troops’ heroic efforts? That touches of color and beauty lifted their morale? That they were more inclined to do their best if inspired to imagine they were participating in an epic story? Whether or not my theories apply to what actually happened back then, they apply to you now.

As you go forth to fight for what you believe in, bring your equivalent of an evocative emblem.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Using a radio telescope, astronomers at Germany’s Max Planck Institute for Radio Astronomy have been scanning the center of the galaxy. They’re looking for evidence of amino acids that could be the building blocks of life. So far their hunt has been inconclusive. In my opinion, though, they’ve stumbled upon an even more appealing discovery: The huge dust cloud at the heart of the Milky Way, they say, tastes like raspberries and smells like rum. That’s the kind of switcheroo I predict for you in the upcoming weeks, Capricorn. You may not locate the smoking gun you’re hoping to find, but in the process of searching I bet you’ll hook up with something even better.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Each one of us is a blend of life and death. In the most literal sense, our bodies always contain old cells that are dying and new cells that are emerging as replacements. From a more metaphorical perspective, our familiar ways of seeing and thinking and feeling are constantly atrophying, even as fresh modes emerge. Both losing and winning are woven into every day; sinking down and rising up; shrinking and expanding. In any given phase of our lives, one or the other polarity is usually more pronounced. But for you in the foreseeable future, Aquarius, they will be evenly balanced. Welcome to the

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Allure magazine sought out Luca Turin and Tania Sanchez, the women who wrote the book Perfumes: The A to Z Guide. “What are the sexiest-smelling perfumes of all time?” they asked. Turin and Sanchez said Chinatown was at the top of their list. Their explanation: “If wearing Opium is like walking around with a bullhorn shouting, ‘Come and get it!’, Chinatown is like discreetly whispering the same thing.” The Chinatown approach is what I recommend for you in the coming weeks, Pisces.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): More than 2,000 people have climbed to the top of Mt. Everest, and 12 men have walked on the moon. But only two humans have ever ventured to the lowest spot on our planet. In 1960, Jacques Piccard and Donald Walsh rode in a bathyscaphe all the way down to the Mariana Trench, which is almost seven miles beneath the surface of the Pacific Ocean. Your assignment in the coming weeks, Gemini, is to move in their direction, metaphorically speaking. In my astrological opinion, ascending and soaring shouldn’t be on your agenda. It’s time to dive into the mysterious depths.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I propose that we do to Mercury what astronomers did to Pluto in 2006: demote it. After all, it’s smaller than both Saturn’s moon Titan and Jupiter’s moon Ganymede. Who wants to bestow the majestic title of “planet” on such a piddling peewee? In fact, let’s make the change now, just in time for Mercury’s retrograde phase, which began recently. That way we won’t have to get all riled up about the supposedly disruptive effects this aspect portends. How could a barren runt like Mercury stir up any kind of meaningful ruckus? I hereby declare you free and clear of the whole Mercury retrograde superstition. Please proceed on the assumption that the period between now and September 12 will be an excellent time to deepen and refine your communication with anyone you care about.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): A Chinese company reached out to me by email today. “Dear Sir,” the message began, “As the leading professional conveyor belt manufacturers in Shanghai, we present to you our very best sincere regards, desiring to find out if there is a chance for us to be your top-rate conveyor belt supplier.” I wrote back, thanking them for their friendly inquiry. I said that personally I didn’t have any need of conveyor belts right now, but I told them I would check with my Leo readers to see if they might. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you see, you’re entering a time when it makes sense to expand and refine your approach to work. It’ll be a good time, for example, to get more efficient and step up production.

So how about it? Do you need any conveyor belts?

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On The Beat

By Alex Teach

Off Duty I

“I banged on said strangers door, and fled as if being chased by giggling demons.

The giggling, of course, was mine: Being good makes me “giddy”, but again, everyone knows this.”

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. To contact him directtly, follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

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t had been a horrible night for sleep. Not for the usual reasons; I hadn’t been computing small business franchise and excise taxes or swallowing a series of “Atomic Fireballs” whole to settle a bar tab (though which is worse is up to the reader, depending on business ownership or your relationship with your rectum. And the size of the tab, come to think of it).

No. I received a call that Chuck Crowder had been on a bender inside The Palms again, and though it was my off-night I knew they’d take him to the “Quiet Room” this time for sure and I didn’t live far from that awful block of Shallowford Road. While I normally have a strict policy for not feeding the strays (and therefore encouraging repeats of such behavior), I loved him despite his bizarre affectations for the post-menopausal and Appletini’s. My only regret was that he made my personal car smell of the same after such Good Samaritan missions, but hey, it’s the price of being such a nice guy. Everyone knows this.

After assuring the staff of the stern rebukes he would receive later, I drove him home and caringly deposited him against the front door of his neighbor’s duplex. As to not leave him vulnerable, I cut away his V-neck sweater and with a bomb technician's focus I scripted instructions for his care about his chest with a Sharpie, and added a series of pentagrams for his protection. I banged on said stranger's door, and fled as if being chased by giggling demons. The giggling, of course, was mine:

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Being good makes me “giddy”, but again, everyone knows this.

That accomplished for the second time this month, I thought maybe I’d do a little plainclothes patrol and see what the night had to say to me. I didn’t need a uniform to do the Good Work; in fact, doing such dressed as just plain old “Alex” gave me even more options, even without all those wonderful toys on my gun belt.

It was 2 a.m., but I tended to stay awake on my off-days to make the midnight shift schedule more stable physiologically; it was a cruel shift even for the young and you had to make certain physiological concessions, but like working out or moderation in general, it was something I was willing to give up for the greater good. It wasn’t long before I found someone needing help.

I was passing a SunTrust bank parking lot when I saw a cab driver pull a fare out of the back of his car, and the (apparent) man was limp. I wheeled in and pulled in behind him raising my open palms and generating a welcome smile to let him know I was a Friendly. “I’m a fireman,” I said, “Relax!”

I got out to inquire, and as it turns out the cabbie stopped here to let the man use the ATM else he would have to dump him and call the police. “Jesus,” I said, “don’t do that! Those guys are wolverines. Bush made them swear an allegiance to him before he left office as part of the COPS grant, and they’ll force him into servitude for sure.” The cabbie looked unconvinced.

“All these police cars don’t come for free, and you’ll never find a cop that pays rent or a mortgage. Where do you think this money comes from, man? He’ll be carrying spent fuel rods in Eastern Europe inside of a

month for sure! How do you think we made peace during the Cold War?” The man’s eyes suddenly grew large and looked away, a horrible revelation suddenly unfolding behind them. “I’ve got this, buddy. Relax.” I looked at the drunk. “Sir?” The Drunk could barely form words, much less stand; a definite candidate for my work. There were no coincidences in life; I was certain of this. Crowder had been but a vessel to allow me to help this man, the first in a series of karmic dominoes on a lonely Wednesday night that had fallen towards a quiet bank parking lot. The drunk began to softly speak, but I hesitated to lean in; this was not my first rodeo, and I was vindicated mere seconds later when he began to uncontrollably vomit just outside the ATM vestibule doorway.

I looked at the vomit; even knelt down beside it, when I was certain he was done.

I stood up slowly, and looked over at the cabbie…then back to the drunk, a line of bile stretching from the corner of his mouth. I squinted my eyes, and said “Krystal’s. Yes?” His eyes widened with surprise.

God I was good.

I braced him up against the wall and walked back to the cabbie. “Call the cops on him, brother. We can’t help him now.” And as best I can tell, he did.

I hopped back in my truck, not necessarily feeling accomplished, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. I wondered how to spend the rest of my night, the urge to patrol suddenly gone, and suddenly it hit me; I smiled, and even chuckled softly as I did a U-turn in the roadway…heading straight for The Palms.

Chuck had left his tab open; he’d left in a hurry, after all.

(Everyone knows this.)

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Film Feature

By John DeVore

Fishing For Trouble—In 3D 3D movies are pretty popular right

now. I personally don’t understand the fad. I understand where it started, of course; Avatar is the only film I’ve seen that effectively used the technology and it made lots and lots of money.

Still, I had to watch blue people toss things at the screen for three hours while wearing uncomfortable plastic glasses, which I felt made the experience less than stellar. But most movies don’t have the budget of Avatar, making 3D even more painful and unnecessary.

Every time I see a film in 3D, I am baffled at how much harder it is to see what’s going on. I can’t focus on anything, everything seems to be happening too fast, and usually the screen looks very dim and poorly lit.

For an art form that is meant to be enjoyed visually, this seems like a terrible idea. I can’t imagine why a director would choose to film anything in 3D. However, in the case of Piranha 3D, all of these things actually improve the experience. This is because Piranha 3D is absolutely disgusting.

The film opens on serene Lake Victoria, which I get the impression is not in Africa, because there appear to be rocky shores, devoid of trees or dense vegetation.

Given that we see a Gila monster crawl past a sign that reads “Mesolithic dig site,” we can safely assume that the lake is somewhere in the desert. The camera shifts into a dark underwater shot as the music turns ominous, while we are slowly pushed to the water to focus on several beer bottles (in 3D!) floating beneath a fishing boat.

underwater lake promptly opens up beneath Lake Victoria, releasing thousands and thousands of deadly piranhas that were thought to have gone extinct during the Pliocene era. Spoiler Alert: these fish then eat Richard Dreyfuss. The rest of the movie is a variation on this theme; people swim in the lake, fish eat them, and body parts float past us (in 3D!).

What horror movie would be complete without drunken, horny teenagers? Luckily, it is Spring Break at Lake Victoria and drunken college students invade the shores in numbers rivaling the film’s Piscean antagonists, promising venereal diseases, unplanned pregnancies, and date rape for all. All teenagers are alike; they are all promiscuous, they all love dancing on boats to dirty rap songs, and apparently, all jerks hate the Pixies.

Our hero is charged with babysitting his younger siblings during spring break by his Sheriff mom, but has a chance encounter with some porn stars and a Girls Gone Wild type director, shirks his duties, and heads off to set up an important plot point. It is worth mentioning that they all get on a boat and head off to do some shooting. It is also worth mentioning that I counted six people on the boat. Several of them are eaten, some of them survive. However, there is one character that, I’m not kidding at all, just disappears. Maybe I wasn’t paying close enough attention, but it’s almost as if the actor just didn’t come to work one day and the director decided that the audience wouldn’t notice that he vanished without explanation. That’s what I call quality film making.

Eventually, after lots of isolated deaths and 3D nudity—and I have to say that this movie has more nudity than I’ve ever seen in a film; how it got an R rating, I haven’t a clue—we are treated to the climactic scene, where the prehistoric piranhas eat all of the

“I can’t even begin to describe the depravity and carnage that soaks through the screen onto the floor and up to your ankles (in 3D!).”

We then slowly exit the water and focus on the fisherman, who is none other than Richard Dreyfuss, and was most likely offered an ungodly amount of money for one day of work. Elisabeth Shue, who is in this movie for a lot longer, should probably get his agent. It’s unbelievable that she left Las Vegas for a horror movie that Syfy probably thought was a tad farfetched.

At any rate, there is an earthquake, and a hidden

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

horny teenagers. I wish I could say that I was being hyperbolic. This has to be the goriest, most horrific, unbelievable scene of death and dismemberment ever put on film.

I can’t even begin to describe the depravity and carnage that soaks through the screen onto the floor and up to your ankles (in 3D!). If you can imagine it, it most likely happens. Not only do we see the piranhas kill people—which have a tendency to go straight for the eyes when feeding, even though they don’t appear to eat them, since they keep floating directly towards the audience—but we see every type of boating accident ever reported and many that don’t even make sense.

For instance, I don’t think that someone’s hair being caught in an outboard motor would eventually rip that persons face off; but in all fairness, maybe she was using a special type of conditioner. Also, “Mythbusters” has roundly rejected the notion that a snapping heavy duty cable can cut a person in half. But none of that matters.

It exists in the movie to gross out the audience.

Again, this movie is gross. If you like gross movies with lots of nudity, feel free to spend $10.50 for a matinee. If you pay full ticket price for it, however, you should be ashamed of yourself. Also, this movie is apparently a remake of a 32 year old horror movie.

What the hell, Hollywood!? Stop it already.

Piranha 3D Directed by Alexandre Aja Starring Richard Dreyfuss, Elisabeth Shue. Jerry O'Connell Rated R Running time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

New In Theaters Takers A hard-boiled detective gets in between a group of bank robbers and their plan to make away with a $20 million bounty. Matt Dillon is back on the right side of the law after Armored, but the real question here is: How do you promote a movie featuring one currently incarcerated musician/actor (T.I.) and post-Rihanna Chris Brown, whose fame allotment has been nearly drained.

Suddenly, heist movies don’t seem fun anymore.

Starring Chris Brown, Hayden Christensen, Matt Dillo Directed by John Luessenhop

The Last Exorcism A troubled evangelical minister agrees to let his last exorcism be filmed by a documentary crew, where a possessed youngster brings him face to face with the devil himself. Eli Roth (in producer mode) and Lionsgate are testing the Paranormal Activity theorem here: can you turn a lowbudget horror/thriller with no stars into a hit? Director Daniel Stamm caused a minor genre stir back in 2008/2009 with A Necessary Death. In a weekend devoid of major releases, anything is possible, even in the dog days of August.

Starring Patrick Fabian, Ashley Bell, Iris Bahr Directed by Daniel Stamm

Centurion Roman soldiers led by Quintus Dias raid an enemy camp in an effort to save a captured general. Soon, the Romans will find themselves hunted by a group of Pictsthe Empire’s more formidable enemies-and

their best shot at surviving the hunt is in the hands of a tracker bent on revenge. The sword-and-sandal genre has been glossed up of late, so perhaps that’s part of the reason Neil Marshall’s gritty alternative has been well received thus far. It also helps that Marshall has become a master of genre filmmaking (even his Doomsday counts), from his ability to squeeze riches from lower budgets to the subtle social commentary in each of his films. We’re looking forward to going back to AD 117 with Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, Olga Kurylenko, and Noel Clarke, and we love that they aren’t necessarily the good guys.

Starring Michael Fassbender, Dominic West, Olga Kurylenk Directed by Neil Marshall

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 26, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | The Pulse

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Spirits Within

By Joshua Hurley

Phantom Lurks In The Shadows A wine cellar can be a dark

and scary place. Who knows what may be lurking just behind the shadows. Well, Riley’s weekly Great Buy hopes to lay your fears of the dark to rest. Great Buys is where Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson picks something from the area’s largest selection of wine and spirits from around the world and shares it with the readership of The Pulse.

This week’s selection is Phantom

by Bogle Winery.

Bogle Vineyards sits on 1,200 acres of land in Clarksburg, California, a beautiful town located along the shore of the Sacramento River right in the middle of the fertile Delta region. The property has been farmed by the Bogle family since the mid 1800’s. In 1968, Warren and Chris Bogle, father and son, decided to plant grape seedlings on 20 acres, harvest the fruit then sell the grapes to neighboring wineries for top dollar. In 1978, Warren and his wife, Patty, opened Bogle Winery and soon began producing their own exceptional varietal wines.

Warren Bogle, Jr., the sixth generation Bogle to cultivate the family acreage. The Bogle philosophy to crafting outstanding wines is simple: start at step one by growing top quality grapes, then apply 110 percent effort to all the following steps. The Bogle family respects tradition, the vineyards and the soil from which they grow. This is evident in each bottle of wine they produce.

“The Bogle philosophy to crafting outstanding wines is simple: start at step one by growing top quality grapes, then apply 110 percent effort to all the following steps.”

Bogle’s initial success in the late seventies was no fluke, with continuing triumph attributed to the Bogle family’s intense involvement in every facet of the winemaking process. This hands on approach separates Bogle from the other family-owned California wineries.

Today, Bogle is owned and operated by

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The much sought after Phantom is a red wine blend of three popular Bogle varietals: 53 percent Petite Syrah, 44 percent Zinfandel and three percent Mourvedre. Its name, Phantom, evokes the ghost-like memories of the Bogle family’s ancestral commitment to hard work, a family legacy that goes back 150

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

years.

The combination of these three varietals creates a wine with intense berry and spice characteristics. Zinfandel and Petite Syrah supply the berry fruit while Mourvedre lends its spicy edge.

The wine’s ruby red color is followed by aromas of black pepper, dark fruit and juniper. Its palate explodes with the ripened identity of blackberries and blueberries, but that’s not all. Creeping up from behind comes nutmeg and toasted cinnamon (which was attained by one to three years of aging in old American oak barrels) taking you through to the finish which gives this wine a supreme, full-bodied balance often missing in blends. All in all, a very friendly ghost indeed. On sale now for $20.99 plus tax only at Riley’s Also try Bogle’s straight varietals— Chardonnay, Sauvignon Blanc, Riesling, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon and Petite Syrah for only $8.76 plus tax each. Old Vine Zinfandel is grown on 20 year old vines. This red Zinfandel displays a palate of intense, dark fruit—a customer favorite! $13.29 plus tax. Cheers!

The Pulse • Dining Out Spotlight

The Terminal Pours Some Terrific Pints

by D. E. Langley With the Southern Brewers Festival coming up this weekend, we’ve shifted the focus of this space from tasty food to delicious beer.

Among the more than thirty breweries featured at the Festival is Chattanooga’s own Terminal Brewhouse.

Truth is, I could just as easily focus on Terminal any other week. Their menu is an eclectic composition, drawing from reinterpreted American classics as well as Mediterranean cuisines. For instance, alongside queso and their take on nachos, appetizer choices include black bean and roasted red pepper hummus and a feta, basil, pine nut, and olive oil spread baked on bread from Niedlov’s. For a main course, jerk salmon and bison burgers are available alongside pizzas and veggie lasagna.

But as I mentioned, this week the focus is on beer. Each dish listed above has a delicious Imperial pint glass full of brew waiting to be paired with it. Terminal keeps six of its beers on tap at any given time, each an example of a distinct brewing style.

The White Shadow is a Belgian-style white beer, spiced with coriander, orange peel, and chamomile. Forget those commercial witbiers that need a slice of fruit on the side—this pale colored concoction has more than enough nose on its own. Light bodied and refreshing, it’s a great introduction for folks who are just branching out into the wonderful world of microbrews.

Terminally Ale, the next on the list, is an American copper ale, akin to a pale ale. With citrus and pine aromas from Tettnang and Liberty hops complementing American malts, its medium body and smooth flavor make for a fantastic session beer.

A maibock, cheekily named Rock Out With Your Bock Out, is ideal for those who aren’t big on big hop flavors. With a focus on the

sweetness of its seven malts, it has just enough hops. Despite its heritage, this strong lager is delicious throughout the year, not just in the spring.

For those seeking more robust flavor, Terminal has Southsidenstein, an oatmeal stout with a full mouthfeel. A quick sniff reveals tremendous chocolate and coffee notes. As opposed to your average stout, Southsidenstein has a surprising hop finish that balances the creamy sweetness of the roasted malts.

Magnum P.A., brewmaster Steve Purdie’s personal favorite, started as a more traditional English style India pale ale before evolving into more of a West Coast incarnation. “People kept asking for more hops, so we increased the IBU’s [International Bittering Units] to eighty. They still wanted more! We’re at one hundred now,” Purdie explains.

That hop bitterness finishes subtly, without

any unpleasant aftertaste. Dry hopping ensures that hopheads get their fill of that telltale aroma, with a slight butterscotch nose from the malts. This is a wonderful example of a style that continues to increase in popularity.

Terminal rotates its sixth brew about five times a year—candidates at any given time include a brown ale, an India brown ale, a hefeweizen, a dunkel weiss, a porter, and a Scottish ale.

The current selection, Old Baldy extra special bitter, is an excellent exemplar of a style of beer not commonly found in these parts.

Superbly balanced, but appropriately complex, the mild acidity and malt presence make for an extremely drinkable beer that still packs a punch. It and the Magnum P.A. will be featured at the Festival.

Terminal strives to be a family-friendly atmosphere with delicious food and great beer to accompany it, perfect for a family night out, and it accomplishes that. In addition, it provides a meeting place for kindred souls who wouldn’t shy away from being called beer nerds. The menu lists specifics on every beer, including original and terminal gravity, alcohol by volume, degrees Lovibond, IBU’s, and malt and hop varieties used in each. Brewmaster Purdie was a homebrewer for years, and walked away from a job paying twice what he makes now to do what he loves for a living. You can taste that passion in every sip of Terminal’s beers.

Preparations for the Festival gear up tonight at Terminal with Beerstravaganza, an event they’re putting on for folks who love beer as much as they do. The informal event is a great chance to meet the people making some of the best beer in town.

The Terminal Brewhouse, No. 6 14th Street. Monday through Sunday, 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. Call (423) 752-8090 or visit www. terminalbrewhouse.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 26, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | The Pulse

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Ask A Mexican!

By Gustavo Arellano

Will Mexis And Amis Ever Get Along?

“Really, all Mexicans can do is what we’ve always done: persevere, get on with life, and throw the bastardos out with a good oldfashioned uprising.

But no guns this time! Just the beautiful force of the ballot box.”

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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Dear Mexican, Oye, I’m a Mexican con un pie aquí y un pie allá, and I have to admit that it is difficult to be a Mexican these days. I’d like to make the argument that it is one of the worst times ever to be a Mexican.

I even think it is worse now than it was in the time of the revolución, worse than Santa Anna and Cortés, worse than the Zoot Suit riots—man it is worse now than when frickin’ Pete Wilson was California’s governor, and Proposition 187 passed. The reason is those things: the conflicts in the border towns of Juarez and Tijuana, and the racist law in Arizona, and Minutemen.

It’s just crazy. I feel that in the past, we could look at either the United States fondly or Mexico fondly, when times were rough on one side of the border. Right now, it just feels like a double-edged sword. Yet the saddest thing about it, I just don’t see either side of the border letting up any time soon.

Dude, ¿cuando vivaremos en paz?

—Condenando Here, and damned Allá Dear Damned Aquí, y Condenado There, When will we live in peace? NEVER. Chaos is the order of life for Mexicans— how can it not, given our violent birth, centuries-long infancy, and current adolescent angst? But don’t think these are the worst times in the history of raza.

Gabachos aren’t lynching us in the same numbers they did after the MexicanAmerican War; they’re not deporting us en masse like the días de Operation

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 34 | August 26, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Wetback and the Mexican Reparation of the 1930s.

The hatred for us today is less bloody than in the past—hooray! Down south, the narcos…well, you want your humble columnist to keep his head, don’t you?

Really, all Mexicans can do is what we’ve always done: persevere, get on with life, and throw the bastardos out with a good old-fashioned uprising. It happened in 1810, 1910—but what about this year, and how about on both sides of la frontera? Let’s show those Tea Baggers what a true revolución is about— but no guns this time! Just the beautiful force of the ballot box.

Dear Mexican, Do you know whether Mexicans are known to hike (besides hiking across the border)? It’s not a joke. I know Mexican friends of mine hike for the purpose of picnicking in the wilderness at Temescal canyon or in Mexico (for leisure), but otherwise, are we known to be hikers as a general population?

—Walking Wabette Dear Wabette, Chingao, you stole my border joke! The Outdoor Industry Foundation published a 2006 study called “The Hispanic

Community and Outdoor Recreation” that estudió the matter closely. They found we barely hike, and concluded “a concerted effort now must be made to involve Hispanics—a population representing an avenue of high growth for the outdoor industry.” See, the numbers they found were embarrassingly low: a full 50 percent of the wabs surveyed hadn’t hiked even one day in the previous year; 32 percent had hiked between one and four days. And most of those who participated were pochos, so you know the numbers for actual Mexicans were even lower. The study concluded that most Mexis didn’t hike due to a lack of access to equipment, leisure time, outreach by companies—essentially the same excuses given by everyone for poor participation of Mexicans in any gabacho-heavy activity (voting, empire-building, fake uprisings, etc.)