The Pulse 10.31 » August 1, 2013

August 1, 2013

alex teach » concourse discourse

Vol. 10 • No. 31

"stop talking to me"

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

The

ECOSYSTEM of

GIG TANK

MUSIC the mdahts SCREEN europa report theater those crazy victorians

2 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

THIS WEEK AUGuST 1-7 Pick of the litter EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Mike McJunkin Contributing Editors Janis Hashe • Gary Poole Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • Cody Maxwell Marc Michael • John DeVore • Janis Hashe Cliff Hightower • Matt Jones • Mike McJunkin Ernie Paik • Gary Poole • Alex Teach Photographer Josh Lang Cartoonists & Illustrators Max Cannon • Jen Sorensen Tom Tomorrow • Sketch Crowd Interns Keeli Monroe • Carson O'Shoney Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Amy Allara • Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Jessica Gray • Rick Leavell • Jerry Ware

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar calendar@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

The Bride Wore Barbecue Can a bridal gown be a political statement?

See for yourself at Natalie Chanin's exhibit of barbecued bridal gowns on display at Warehouse Row through August.

1110 Market St. (423) 267-1111, warehouserow.net

The

American

Pink Floyd Rhythm & Brews • Aug. 8th • 9pm • $10 at the door

A REMEMBRANCE CONCERT FOR TIMOTHY HENRY chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE

City Share at green|spaces

Learning Urban From Baltimore You’ve got a great opportunity this coming Wednesday for some conversation and networking about the future of urban living when the City Share program hosts Steven Gondol, executive director of Live Baltimore, the nationally recognized nonprofit committed to promoting Baltimore City living.

Live Baltimore works with homebuyers to share the facts about their city, match them with incentives, tax credits, real estate professionals, and help them discover their neighborhood. In 1996, a series of town hall-style meetings were held, attended by hundreds of citizens who love

chattanooga’s weekly alternative NEWS • COMMENTARY • BULLETINS & PUSH NOTIFICATIONS AT DIAL-UP SPEED facebook/chattanoogapulsE • TWITTER @CHATTAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Baltimore and, in particular, its neighborhoods. Residents, community activists, and public and private sector leaders quickly reached consensus about the need to develop strategies to retain and increase Baltimore City’s residential base and to address and balance negative perceptions about city living. While other organizations focus on promoting Baltimore for business investment, downtown development, tourism and conventions, Live Baltimore is the city’s only organization focused on marketing city neighborhoods for new residential investment, something Chattanooga is also grappling with. Often, there’s no need to reinvent the wheel—just reach out and find best practices that are already working in other cities. A discussion will follow the video session.

This event is part of a City Share Housing series in partnership with the Community Design Forum, Chattanooga Neigh-

On this album, Fletcher partners with virtuoso banjo player Bill Evans, and there’s no doubt that the live event will be a lively evening at the Legs.

Don’t miss it if this genre of music is your cup of moonshine. $15. 8 p.m. Aug. 3, Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 6245347, barkinglegs.com —Staff

Battle at the Bend

Get Out The Tricktionary borhood Enterprise, Regional Planning Agency, & Glass House Collective. City Share is free and open to the public, but reservations are necessary. Noon, Aug. 7, green|spaces, 63 E. Main Street. RSVP to this event on Facebook or by emailing info@glasshousecollective.org —Staff

Fletcher’s House

For a Fiddlin’ and Pickin’ Good Time…

It doesn’t take music-loving newcomers to Chattanooga long to hear the name “Fletcher Bright.” One of the city’s true musical treasures (and a fine upstanding citizen and arts supporter to boot), Fletcher and his fiddle are not to be missed no matter where they play. But there’s a special opportunity coming up on Saturday, Aug. 3 at Barking Legs with the launch event for the new CD, Fine Times At Fletcher’s House.

4 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Were you raised on Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater? Did you ever actually get out there and try to skate in the real world? If you did, and you want to show your stuff— sign up for the first annual Battle at the Bend Skate Competition, presented by the Chattanooga Skate Project. The winner will walk away with $500 and the ultimate bragging rights…until next year. of course.

Taking place this Saturday, Aug. 3 at Chattanooga’s own Chattown Skatepark, the Battle at the Bend is open to spectators who want to see what real, legit skateboarding is all about. The event is free to watch, but if you’re one of the few who dares enter the competition, be sure to bring a crisp Hamilton and show up before 6 p.m. for signups.

For those who don’t know, Chattown Skatepark is currently Chattanooga’s only skate park, though plans have been in the works for an indoor facility for some time.

It’s located across the street from Finley Stadium. Head down there Saturday if you want to see the best local skaters Chattanooga has to offer competing for the top prize.

—Carson O'Shoney

LIST

» pulse music pICK of the litter

THE

pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

THU08.01 MUSIC All American Summer Shades of Jazz with Shane Morrow • Enjoy the new harmonies and riffs that will wash over a hot summer night with this talented musician.

6 p.m. • Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org

THEATRE “Dear Brutus” • Escape into an enchanted forest this Midsummer Eve with the cast of J.M. Barrie's eccentric play.

7:30 p.m. • Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (inside Eastgate Town Center) (423) 987-5141, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

Sounds of the Swing Shift

FRI08.02

SAT08.03

COMMUNITY ARTS SHOW

CULTURAL FITNESS

“Mark Making” Opening Reception

Tai Chi

• The mural-creating nonprofit showcases photographs from many of its pioneering projects.

5:30 - 8:30 p.m. • AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org

• Come learn the basics of one of the oldest martial arts/exercise regimens in the world, perfect for all ages and physical conditions.

9:30 - 10:30 a.m. • Chattanooga Public Library, Northgate Branch, 278 Northgate Mall

MUSIC

MUSIC

A Benefit for Joey • Milele Roots, Uncle Lightnin',Amanda Cagle, Eric Turner, Marty and Matt Bohannon, Jenny Clower, Melinda Brown, Mike McDade and Hap Henniger perform to assist local soundman Joey Harvey.

8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

RAW PARTY, REDEFINED.

Stevie Monce Band • Singer-songwriter from Atlanta, based out of Nashville armed with the old-fashioned ideals of hard work, passion and sheer determination, along with a great backing band.

10 p.m. • Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook.com/raw.chattanooga

Lou Wamp has assembled an array of talented pickers and singers to augment his virtuosic slide guitar playing, resulting in the formation of Swing Shift, a group that goes from western swing, to Americana & jazz, to new acoustic sounds. Adept precision and renditions will have you tapping your toes, if not outright up and dancing. An infectious sound that crowds can’t seem to get enough of harkens back to the Texas tearooms and dance halls of the ’40s, yet remains forever fresh and new.

Lou Wamp & Swing Shift 7 p.m., Friday, August 2 Nightfall Music Series, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com

LIVE MUSIC & DJs EVERY WEEKEND FRIDAY • AUGUST 2 Kontraband $1 beer 10-11pm SATURDAY • AUGUST 3 Stevie Monce Band $1 beer 10-11pm LIVE MUSIC STARTS @ 10:30pm FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHTS DJ REGGIE REG 2nd Floor 9:30pm-3am FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHTS

TWO FLOORS • ONE BIG PARTY • LIVE MUSIC • DANCING • 409 MARKET ST • 423.756.1919 open 7 days a week » full menu until 2am » 21+ » smoking allowed chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 5

Lakeshore Marina The Home of Trouble Free Boating

Music for Chattanooga’s Coolest Generation Chattanooga’s best Full Service Marina Boat Rentals Available Restaurant space with beautiful lakeside view available (former Top of the Dock)

hippieradio1069.com 6 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Politics

Wednesdays

Janis Hashe

Sitting Still Behind Bars M

craFt draFt Beer

ake no mistake—Walker State Prison in Rock Springs, GA is very much a prison. Visitors can bring nothing inside that has not been cleared. You have to leave your car keys and an ID before being escorted through several ominously clanking locked doors and gates. It’s a medium-security facility housing up to 444 male inmates.

But once inside, those expecting to see orange jumpsuits and shackles will be very surprised. Inmates wear white-and-blue uniforms that make them look more like sailors than prisoners. The ones in the central quad area might be playing chess or reading.

Chaplain Jeremy Stroop and I stop into the art studio, where some are making piñatas for the upcoming family day. “Does it look like a fish?” one piñata-maker asks me anxiously. “Looks more like a bomb to me,” chuckles someone from the back of the room.

We all laugh.

“And here are the ‘grandfather clocks,’” says Chaplain Stroop, showing off what are really mixed-media sculptures made by inmates. “Is there a place where people can buy these?” I ask. “We give them away to volunteers,” he says.

“It’s a way to say thank you.”

Georgia prisons have been in the news a lot recently, and not for their art programs.

Violent outbreaks and accusations of mismanagement have resulted in big shakeups across the state. But Walker continues its quietly revolutionary approach. It is a “faith and character” prison. And that is why I am here.

Chaplain Stroop has reached out to religious organizations of all faiths to participate in the prison’s diversity program.

He contacted the Chattanooga Zen Group, of which I am a member, to see if we’d be interested in coming in to talk about Buddhism, and then begin a monthly zazen sitting with interested inmates.

On this visit, I am bringing in some basic implements for zazen and I express concern about the striker for the gong, which, after all, could be used as a weapon. “Don’t worry,” says the chaplain. “We brought in a shofar (ram’s horn) during the Judaism sessions. Your gong should be no problem.”

The philosophy behind this program is that by allowing the inmates exposure to diverse traditions, those who have not yet found a spiritual base might do so. According to Byron R. Johnson, Baylor University professor of social sciences, writing in “Corrections Today” about Texas faith-based prison programs, “it was the active presence of faith-motivated mentors that was the most important factor associated with lower rates of recidivism.”

Georgia’s program is new— so new that the first “graduates” of the two-year program are just reaching that milestone. Chaplain Stroop says they will be tracked “forever” to

ascertain recidivism rates. The Florida program that begun in 2003, and now encompasses four correction facilities, has so far failed to show significant reductions in the rate, according to Diana Brazzell in the online academic magazine “Footnote.” But Brazzell also states that combining the faith-based aspects of the program with other components, including, critically, post-prison contact, called “aftercare,” shows promise, and Johnson concludes, “…there is now preliminary but important evidence that a faith-based program combining education, work, life skills, mentoring and aftercare has the potential to influence the way corrections professionals think about issues like recidivism and the successful return of inmates to society in a paradigm-shifting way.”

Why does this matter? Because the United States incarcerates a higher percentage of its population that any other country on Earth—at last

count, some 2.3 million of its residents—amounting to 25 percent of the world’s population of prisoners. “Putting them in jail and throwing away the key” with three strikes laws is bankrupting federal and state systems. And the people inside, most of whom are paroled or serve their terms, reoffend and are reincarcerated at extremely high rates. They learn nothing except how to become better criminals.

The men in Walker State Prison that I interact with are polite and respectful. I ask Chaplain Stroop about their backgrounds; are the stereotypes about broken homes true? “Oh, yes,” he says, “most come from families without a father figure, and the rate of physical and sexual abuse is extremely high.”

The men in Walker State Prison have had to request to come to this facility and participate in this program, and to be accepted, have to be model prisoners in their previous prison. I meet one man who has transferred in only a few days previously. He comments on the prison’s new “no locks on the lockers” plan. “It’s so different here,” he says.

On this night, I teach a group of about 10 inmates to sit quietly in meditation. We laugh about how hard it is to sit still in the beginning, even for five minutes.

I tell them, “Everything changes.” Even being able to sit still. Even being in prison.

Even, maybe, your chances for never coming back here.

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blacksmithsgastropub.com chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 7

marc michael

The Nonstop Hip-Hop of Mdahts When I sat down to write this, I was all fired up to open with a joke of some sort about a double-header tour featuring the Mdahts and the Microdahts. Hours later—and with a deadline rapidly approaching—I had to concede there is no such joke to be made. True, both groups feature essentially the same band of talented performers, but that’s really the only comparison that can be made. The Microdahts were/ are a tremendously fun little jam band. The Mdahts? The Mdahts are a scorching hip-hop act whose sound is equally at home in the smoothest jazz club and the sweatiest mosh pit, a range marvelously demonstrated on their new album.

Music for Grown Folk is the tentative title of the Mdahts’ new album, the first in eight years, and one thing is immediately clear: They have spent the time between this album and their first refining, polishing and expanding literally everything about their craft. Brian “B*Spaz” Macisco is already a respected producer and engineer in the local music community.

His production work on this album (not to mention his considerable skill on the harmonica) does justice to that reputation. In a genre of music where production ranges from “bare bones” minimalism (which has its place) to a Phil Spector-esque “Wall of Sound” approach (a technique frequently referred to as a wall of some other less flattering thing) the Mdahts’ new album stands out for its sophisticated, musically mature backing tracks that fall

honest music

The album is a testament to the complexity of the band and the very broad range of influences that coalesce under the banner of the Mdahts. squarely in the Goldilocks’ zone of being “just right.”

As much credit as the producer can take for that, no less credit belongs to the musicians, whose skillful playing provides the raw material for this gem. Hunter White’s drumming is pure precision, Adam “Skinny iLL” Staudacher’s bass lines are funky, and Corey French’s work on keys

binds it all together emotionally in a way that means if all the vocals were removed, this album could still stand on its own as a great piece of instrumental work.

Add to this the DJ skills of Macisco and Staudacher, and you set a stage any rapper would be lucky to share. In this case the lucky fellows are E. Rockimus (the “hairdresser” to his friends) and Warner MC. Here again we have two performers whose reputations precede them. Both are well known in the local scene, both are absolute pros who bring the kind of smooth flow and style that only comes from years and years on the microphone. Confident and bold, but never overbearing, their

considerable talents are the perfect complement to the tracks laid down by the rest of the group, and their versatility means that they never have to venture out of the “comfort zone” because they are comfortable everywhere.

For all of the care that has gone in to crafting the music, Warner maintains that their primary focus is on effectively conveying a message. That message varies from tune to tune, as does the method of delivery. At times philosophical, at times straightup goofy and fun, the album is really a collection of voices from all walks of life, expressing the fears, concerns and pleasures that are universal to the human experience.

The first track, “Time is Passin’” is so gritty and real you can almost taste the asphalt and urban decay, while track six, “Squash that Jive” so perfectly emulates the big-band sound of the ’40s you want to double-check that you’re still listening to the same group.

“It Won’t Be Long,” another stand-out track on the album, has overtones of reggae, while “One of These Days” is definitely born from classic Motown. The album as a whole is a smorgasbord of styles without ever seeming disjointed or unfocused. For all this, it isn’t struggling to find an identity. The album is a testament to the complexity of the band and the very broad range of influences that coalesce under the banner of the Mdahts.

There isn’t time or space here to list all of the prominent local musicians and artists who have appeared with the Mdahts, but it says a lot about them that it’s more or less a badge of honor to join them in the studio. There will come a day when, “Yeah, I played with those fellas once…” will be quite a bragging right. The album is Music for Grown Folk. It isn’t available yet, but you can keep tabs on that via the Mdahts on Facebook and be sure to check them out on Saturday, August 10 at Dumpy’s on the Ocoee for a live show that will leave you happy, sweaty and exhausted.

local and regional shows

The Deathless with Jonathan Poe and Garrett Bourdan [$5] Plvnet with Black Betty and Endless Cycle [$5] Strung Like a Horse Horror Ball and Glad video release [$10] Seymour Blue with Fatback Circus and The Vino Takes [$5]

Wed, July 31 Thu, Aug 1 Sat, Aug 10 Wed, Aug 7

Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm followed by Live Music August 4 - Old Time Travelers [FREE] August 11 - Year of October

8 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

9pm 9pm 9pm 9pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • ernie paik

Morphs and Power Pops New issues offer sonic adventures, classic revisits

Bitchin Bajas Bitchitronics (Drag City)

I

n some ways, the new album from the deceptively cheekily named Chicago trio Bitchin Bajas, Bitchitronics, is like a window to sonic adventures from precisely 40 years ago, offering stunningly gorgeous instrumental excursions. The first track “Transcendence” brings to mind in the best of ways the 40-yearold album No Pussyfooting from Robert Fripp and Brian Eno and might even be a direct tip of the hat to the original, unused title of that 1973 album’s first side, “The Transcendental Music Corporation.”

Eschewing modern recording studio techniques, Bitchin Bajas synthesized its music with meticulously created tape loops accompanied by live instrumentation, with methods similar in spirit to those used by Fripp and Eno with that duo’s tape loop system and Frippesque striking electric guitar melodies on the opener; while soothing like ambient music, the milky yet fuzzy lead-guitar

Big Star Nothing Can Hurt Me (Omnivore Recordings)

jaunts are hard to ignore or simply let fall into the background.

For its first half, the glistening and nourishing 12-minute “Inclusion” offers keyboard strata, with Cooper Crain on organ and the distinctively sounding prog-rock staple, the tape-loop keyboard Mellotron, and Daniel Quinlivan on the vintage Crumar DS-2 synth. Its second half ascends to heaven, somewhat recalling the work of free jazz goddess Alice Coltrane, in particular because of the harp-run flourishes, with Rob Frye’s echoing, pastoral flute fluttering adding a nice touch. The lengthy “Turiya” is like an Indian raga for future generations, with a gingerlypulsating drone acting as the anchor throughout the aural wanderings.

While it gracefully bears its influences, Bitchitronics does not feel like a pastiche, although some previous offerings, for example, demonstrated an affinity for Kraftwerk.

Fans of ambient and German Kosmische music will likely enjoy this, but it tries hard to not be moored in time, drifting patiently and gently combing the universe as a concentrated, morphing, complicated, organic mass, rather than some unchanging time capsule.

T

he question is not if one should be acquainted with the ’70s output of Big Star, the absolutely essential and legendary Memphis proto-power-pop band featuring Alex Chilton and Chris Bell, but rather, the question is how. The 2003 collection The Big Star Story is a bit of a jumble of studio and live tracks, and the 4-CD boxed set from 2009, Keep an Eye on the Sky, offers alternate versions of the first three albums with rarities and an entire live set. However, the standard homework assigned to Big Star newcomers was to simply go in chronological order with the group’s studio albums, checking out

1972’s #1 Record, 1974’s Radio City and then the diverging, yet still utterly classic Third/Sister Lovers, recorded in 1974 and released in 1978.

However, with the arrival of the collection Nothing Can Hurt Me, which accompanies the new, acclaimed documentary film about the band, we have a new contender as a proper introduction, particularly for those neophytes who think that they could become obsessive completists. The reason behind this is because Nothing Can Hurt Me entirely consists of previously unissued versions of songs—demos, rough mixes, alternate mixes, and “movie mixes” created for the film. For the most part, the changes are subtle, like with Andy Hummel’s double-tracked vocals on “Way Out West” or maybe an extra drum fill here or there.

Fans who have listened to these albums dozens or hundreds of times may enjoy picking out the differences, while there are only a few true revelations, including the charming pedal steel licks on “Try Again,” credited to the pre-Big Star group Rock City.

Fans might quibble about the song selection, but the majority of the highlights are here, from the rousing, twisty “O My Soul,” the irresistible jangle of “September Gurls,” and the soul-crushing, utterly bleak “Holocaust.” If anything, these new mixes show how these songs were undoubtedly sweated over; as completed songs, they sound effortlessly vibrant, but it took work and inspiration to get there.

Mise en Scenesters will present a screening of "Nothing Can Hurt Me" at Barking Legs Theater on August 10 chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 9

Chattanooga Live

CHATTANOOGA

MUSIC CALENDAR

Jet Edison

LIVE MUSIC

JET EDISON

with SOUL MECHANIC

AUGUST THU 9:30p

MILELE ROOTS with

FRI THE CHINESE CONNECTION DUB EMBASSY 10p

THE VELCRO PYGMIES SAT 10p THE BOYS OF PARTY ARE BACK!

UPTOWN BIG BAND SWING DANCE PARTY

TUE 8p

HAPPENSTANCE

WED 9:30p

with TROY LEACH

Milele Roots

1 2 3 6 7

8.8 AMERICAN PINK FLOYD 8.9 FUNCTION 8.10 RUBIK'S GROOVE 8.15 DANIELS/HALLQUIST ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

Hot Music • Hot Times • Hot Food

Smoke Free • 742 Ashland Terrace

2 The Austin Nickels SAT AUG 3 Live Music SUN AUG 4 Tim Lewis FRI AUG

HAPPY HOUR

3P-7P • MON-FRI BIKE NIGHT EVERY

WEDNESDAY

(423) 710-8739

jackaschopshopsaloon.com

THUrsday 08.01 Shades of Jazz with Shane Morrow 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org The Loop 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Jimmy Harris 7:00 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202 (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com.

Open Mic 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com The Independents, 40 oz. Folklore, Get Hot or Go Home, Sandal Stomp, the Independents 8 p.m. Sluggo’s, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224 Plvnet, Black Betty, Endless Cycle 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Great Barrier Reefs, Roots of Rebellion 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Open Mic Night with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191, facebook.com/theoffice.chatt Jet Edison, Soul Mechanic 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

10 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

friday 08.02 Old Time Travelers 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Jazz it Up - Fresh on Fridays 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Waterhouse Pavillion, 850 Market St. Live music @ The Foundry 6 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, chattanooganhotel.com.

Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com.

Lou Wamp & Swing Shift 7 p.m. Nightfall Music Series, River City Stage at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com.

Ed Jurdi & Gordy Quist, Valley Young 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Queen Lightning 8 p.m. The Backyard Grille, 4021 Hixson Pike. (423) 486-1369, backyardgrillechattanooga.com Great Peacock 8 p.m. Nightfall Music Series, River City Stage at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com.

Roughwork, Misfit Toyz 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.com Wide Open Floor 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org A Man Called Bruce 8 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, 4015 Tennessee

Ave. (423) 821-6392. bendbrewingbeer.com Southlander 8 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com The Austin Nickels Band 9 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Terrace. (423) 713-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Wussy 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Amanda Rose 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191, facebook.com/theoffice.chatt Soul Survivor 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Collins Brothers 9:30 p.m. Pokey’s Sports Bar, 918 Sahara Drive, Cleveland. (423) 476-6059 Milele Roots, The Chinese Connection Dub Embassy 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Kontraband 10.p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook.com/raw.chattanooga Jordan Hallquist 10 p.m. Northshore Grille, 16 Frazier Ave. (423) 757-2000, northshoregrille.com

saturday 08.03 Ogya 10 a.m. - 5 p.m Chattanooga Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224, ridetheincline.com Old Time Travelers

11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Lone Mountain Band, Mawre & Co. 12:30 - 3 p.m. River Market @ Aquarium Plaza, W. Aquarium Way. (423) 648-2496. chattanoogarivermarket.com Folklife Summer Music & Dance Series 2 - 4 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. cdmfun.org Tim Lewis 4 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Terrace. (423) 713-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Live music @ The Foundry 6 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, chattanooganhotel.com Michelle Holder 6 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Riverfront Nights Presents: Cody Canada, The Departed, No Big Deal 7 p.m. 21st Century Waterfront. riverfrontnights.com Rebuker, Wolves at the Gate, Come and Rest, Trials, Guildelines 7 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland, 260 2nd Street NE, Cleveland. warehousevenue.com Crossfire 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.com Fletcher Bright & Bill Evans CD Release Party 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater,

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

MUSIC CALENDAR Seymour Blue

The Velcro Pygmies

Thursday, August 1: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger

1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Bill and Eli Perras 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, christunity.org Strangers to Wolves, InDirections, The Words We Use, Everybody Loves the Hero, Everyone a Masterpiece, Stepney, Fancy Me A Madman 8 p.m. Cloud Springs Deli, 4097 Cloud Springs Rd., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 956-8128, cloudspringsdeli.com Southlander 8 p.m. The Backyard Grille, 4021 Hixson Pike. (423) 486-1369, backyardgrillechattanooga.com Live Music 9 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Terrace. (423) 713-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Stacker 3, Monomath, Rough Rope 9 p.m. Sluggo’s, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224 Benefit for Joey 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Power Players Show Band 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com The Velcro Pygmies 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Kara-Ory-Oke! 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191, facebook.com/theoffice.chatt Stevie Monce Band 10.p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook.com/raw.chattanooga Austin Nickels Band

10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240, tboneschattanooga.com Remembering January 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com

sunday 08.04 Old Time Travelers 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Daniel Boling 12:30 - 1:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Rick Rushing & the Blues Strangers 1 - 3 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org steveNkim 2 - 3 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com.

Chattanooga Traditional Irish Music Session 5 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392, bendbrewingbeer.com The Skyline Boys Quartet 6 p.m. Middle Cross Baptist Church, 4009 Norcross Rd. (423) 877-5742, themiddlecrossbaptistchurch.org Old Time Travelers 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Terrace.

(423) 713-8739, jackaschopshopsaloon.com Behold the Brave, Wolves Wolves Wolves and Wolves 7 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland, 260 2nd Street NE., Cleveland. warehousevenue.com Queen Lightning 7 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Bataille, Gruv, Negitive Feedback, Common Criminal, Lord F3ydR 8 p.m. Steelpan Rastarant, 825 Houston St. (423) 702-5687, facebook.com/steelpanrastarant 423 Bass Love 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com

monday 08.05 Gospel Night 6 p.m. Cloud Springs Deli, 4097 Cloud Springs Rd., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 956-8128. cloudspringsdeli.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com.

tuesday 08.06 Juliana’s Daughter 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Tim Starnes & Friends 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Fxzero, Unspoken Triumph, Naming Nations, Cryptodira, Invoking the Abstract 7 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland,

260 2nd Street NE., Cleveland. warehousevenue.com Uptown Big Band/ Swing Dance Party 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Chattanooga’s Got Talent 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com

wednesday 08.07 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com.

Tim Starnes & Friends 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Seymour Blue, Fatback Circus 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Johnathan Kane 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.com 2nFro & Frenz 9 p.m. Pokey’s Sports Bar, 918 Sahara Drive, Cleveland.

(423) 476-6059 Blowfly 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Happenstance, Troy Leach 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Friday, August 2: 9pm Amanda Rose Saturday, August 3: 10pm Kara-Ory-Oke! Tuesday, August 6: 7pm

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chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 11

s g i G k n a Gig T

Me

Gig Tank 2013 comes to a crescendo Aug. 6, with development teams presenting products ready for market, a chat with the founder of Ethernet, dancers interacting from separate stages miles away—and more.

I

By Rich Bailey

Startup Successes of the seven ys at least five out sa le izz Gr e goal of having a Tank is a little ve accomplished th ha s his summer's Gig am ot te . on s of customers or pil t year's editi product in the hand more real than las al re da un fo e en Th d . ke Tank as the program Last year, the Gig users by the end of ini "m a do g u tin yo ea cr uld is t co whole process e th of trepreneurs, "Wha n tio . ck ba d " an t" and getting feed gig of bandwidth? mum viable produc ess with Chattanooga's imperfection proc .

00 llin $100,0 hat whole ro g "T e th off s ys gave the best idea es sa ," sin bu a new ch competition a is so key to getting nn go "It was literally a pit r of ve or ne ct 're ire ou -d under and co ys Grizzle. "Y fo sa le, ," izz nd ou Gr to gr t on go eld e Sh opeout of gate. You'v ns the Gig Tank. "H have it right coming or CO.L AB, which ru s, es sin s as fast as you can, bu a s wa sto ideas in front of cu mer it t ge the ins fully, one of those wa s cu u can, iterate with siness, but the fo learn as much as yo . It's a em could become a bu on th an to th ck ba ion it u have, give the competit yo ing on nn ati wi rm fo on e or it m like This year, we felt r great process." building a business. esssin bu al tor of success. Afte re te ea cr to nt rta po ere is another indica im H o e tw e th owas mor of pr e e on th , Gig Tank g—by the end of the 2012 summer nooes—still using the Gi presented as ide an, moved to Chatta e ny om Ba es s, aw am ve winning te othe th gram than to ha 13, and Florida in Januar y 20 nooga rather m fro ga , from the stage." ne go yed in Chatta 00,000 prize is er, Iron Gamer, sta al that So this year, the $1 has a am te t en m of investment capit e lop lur ve e de th n w ve llo se fo of an th ch ea but investewhere. of venture capital is more plentiful els shot at $150,000 Grizzle, even beams are: year, according to is Th seven llment. This year's te we at least four out of nooga) integrates re the grand finale fo oga no FwdHealth (Chatta ta at Ch e ak er interface. ing plans to m us ak e m on o are s int ps am nk te ap Ta ss ne turing that the Gig integrates manufac eir home base, show th a. og HutGrip (Bulgaria) no eneurs to Chatta problems. can attract entrepr rating sensors to predict namidy a s ide ge now will be integ ov en pr all J) CO.L AB's ch the o Mira (Princeton, N int le op pe y. s pla shopping dis porar y busines il m ta te re e d es ifie th od m ing lly m ca g enitors mmunity by findin Chattanooga) mon entrepreneurial co Sensevery (India, th ort, helping em ac e elderly. g and investor supp rin re to cu se health needs for th ng lps lpi he he s here, and Massachusetts) cess first customer at are Sisasa (Michigan, als. go gs vin sa for entrepreneurs th eir ing th us h ho ble da or aff young adults reac ins." lanta) publishes tra "pre-revenue earner Tidbit (Caymans, At . es vic de ile ob m via t en ing cont ennooga) connects m WeCounsel (Chatta e. lin on ts nals and clien tal health professio

T

12 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

G I G

n the last few years, Chattano naissance has been sprouting so entrepreneurial branches. C menting the large and highly ce industries that have replanted her swagen, Alstom, Wacker and Amazon of star tups have been putting out sho funny names like Woople, QuickC Supplyhog.

Like the downtown revitalization th ceded it, this fledgling entrepreneuria back didn't star t by accident, but by c ing an ecosystem that would suppor geted result. The Gig Tank emerged fr cultivation effort, alongside a pretty sense of urgency about growing com rather than just recruiting them. This preneurial renaissance has many play e it's easier to see the workings of the e tem by looking at a few key organizat io

CO.LA B: Stirring the Pot

"The culture of entrepreneurship here," five years ago, says Sheldon Gri CO.LAB, largely because people in Ch nooga generally had a low tolerance fo and little day-to-day exposure to entr neurs.

CO.LAB began in 2008 as Springb an entrepreneur training program of Cr Here. That first program proliferated i host of activities that began branding as CO.LAB in 2010, incubated 15 mo within CreateHere, then graduated to dependent status when CreateHere ig its scheduled "supernova" on Dec. 31, 2 CO.LAB now occupies CreateHere's storefront offices on Main Street.

Springboard (which still exists and has trained about 700 entrepreneurs) was jo by a series of Peer Roundtables for lea of more established high-growth com pan Representatives of foundations and nonp its, together with entrepreneurs and in tors, met to review applications from h growth star tup companies that wanted to new incentives for them to relocate to M Street.

CO.LAB became the "pot stirrer," acco ing to Grizzle, "the people in town who w constantly saying 'This is important, how

eet the Ecos ystem

ooga's reome new, Compleelebrated re—Volkn—a host oots with Cue and

hat preal comecultivatrt a tarrom this serious mpanies, s entreers, but ecosysons.

wasn't izzle of hattaor risk repre-

board, reateinto a itself onths o ingnited 2011. s old

s now oined aders nies. profnveshigho tap Main

ordwere can

we help, who can we help,' then mak ing the connections happen that enable thes e new companies to be more successful."

Since nothing says pot stirring like a part y, CO.LAB held a public business-plan competition called Will This Float? in Nov ember 2010, but Grizzle was floored when 250 people showed up to watch a entrepreneur s give PowerPoint presentations. In 2011, 48H ourLaunch was added, with teams com peting to create a company in a weekend, and both have become annual events.

Gig Tank began last year and is the 800-pound gorilla of pot-stirring, bringing teams and individuals here for a sum mer accelerator program.

The companies that emerge from this vigorously churning pot seldom grow in a straight line. Instead they wander like vines from one program to another.

Don't Forget the Money The Chattanooga Renaissance Fun d angel venture capital fund was created in 2011 by investors who’d been involved in some of the pot stirring to invest in and mentor new start ups.

The Lamp Post Group began in 2010 as a venture incubator, offering venture fund ing, but also bringing its startups into a common office, and providing business guidance to take them from planning to startup and rapid grow th.

Chamber: Digital & Physical Although recruiting high flyers like VW is its most high-profile activity, the Cha mber's 12-year-old “Spirit of Innovation” was the first community innovation award in the natio n to recognize innovative companies and its INCubator—the third-largest business incu bator in the country—does a lot to help both digit al and manufacturing startups grow.

Enterprise Center: Tech Transf er The Enterprise Center's technology transfer program has a different angle on growing companies. Year-round and at two annual even ts— a business-plan competition and a tech nology transfer conference—it plays matchma ker between entrepreneurs and technologies developed by national laboratories and fede ral research programs, especially the Y-12 Nat ional Security Complex in Oak Ridge.

Dancers Playing Catch with Videos

WeCounsel

(long-distance therapy using virtual conferencing tools) cut its teeth in the 2012 Will This Float?, then became a Gig Tank company this summer.

In the Gig Tank spirit of developing business ideas that use Chattanooga's Gig speed bandwidth, artist Tim Hinck and Engage3D have created Lucid Streaming, a dance performance for Demo Day that could not exist without the Gig. Dancers on two stages across town from each other will appear in the same high-definition image, interacting in real time. Motion-capture software activated by their hand positions will allow them to hold video images in their hands. The Gig will allow them to pass videos from one to the other.

Banyan

(info sharing for academic researchers) won the 2012 Gig Tank competition and moved to Chattanooga this year. It plucked a Chief Technology Officer from another Gig Tank company and now works with the Lamp Post Group.

Supply Hog

(aiming to be the amazon.com of building materials) won the 2010 Will This Float? It is now up and running, but has gone through several rounds of angel venture funding.

QuickCue

(tablet-based guest management and data mining for restaurants) went from idea to product at the 2011 edition of 48 Hour Launch and found its CEO, Silicon Valley veteran Bo Ferger, through CO.LAB. QuickCue is partnering with Chattanooga-based CraftWorks Restaurants & Breweries to pilot the product and just picked up Mellow Mushroom as a client.

Thiel Fellows, Aug. 5 The night before Demo Day, there will be a TED-style presentation by 19-to-22-year-old Thiel Fellows, kicking off a partnership to help grow Chattanooga’s under-20 talent pool. Starting in September, there will be monthly meet ups for high school-age kids and early 20-somethings who have entrepreneurial endeavors. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 7 p.m., Aug. 5. Free and open to the public.

Demo Day, Aug. 6 10:20 a.m. – noon: Mozilla Ignite Challenge Winners 1:30 p.m.: Lucid Streaming 3D Dance Performance 1:50 p.m.: Bob Metcalfe, creator of Ethernet, in conversation with Bill Wallace, CEO of US Ignite, a nonprofit partnership with the White House to increase broadband access across the U.S. 3 – 4 p.m.: Gig Tank team presentations If you don't have a ticket to the limited-seating live show at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre, the entire day will be live streamed free at The Public Library's Fourth Floor.

DEMO DAY! What's happening when

chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 13

Oh, Those Wacky Victorians!

Barrie’s ‘Dear Brutus’ and Wilde’s ‘Philosophy of Dress’

ETC opens "Dear Brutus" Aug. 1

The sheer energy of J.M. Barrie is, of course, the Victorian era is best known as the author staggering. Along with of “Peter Pan.” (Film buffs building houses—not to will remember Johnny mention empires—in- janis hashe Depp straying from his atventing things, and puttachment to outré make-up ting skirts on those oh-so-provocato play Barrie in 2004’s “ Finding tive piano legs, the Victorians also Neverland.”) Yet despite having wrote. A lot. And we’re still enjoycreated a children’s classic, Baring those musings. rie was not without secrets: Piers

Theater

Dudgeon’s “Neverland: J.M.Barrie, the Du Mauriers, and the Dark Side of Peter Pan” brings some of them to light.

Barrie was also a playwright.

His work, highly successful in its time, isn’t seen much now, but we’ll get an opportunity when Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga opens the second half of its 2013 season with Barrie’s “Dear Brutus.” As ETC points out: “The title of the play refers to a line from Shakespeare's “Julius Caesar”: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings. The play’s fantasy storyline explores what would happen if seven characters were allowed to “remake” their lives, or, as the butler puts it, “to take the right turning.”

Director Garry Posey read the play in grad school, and, as he says, “fell in love with the simplicity of the story and the humor of Barrie. Almost everyone can relate to the 'what-ifs' that plague everyday life. What-if I hadn't dropped out of school? What-if I didn't stay when I should've left a certain relationship? What-if I had done what I wanted instead of what was expected of me? ‘Dear Brutus’ is the play for anyone who has ever indulged these 'whatifs' and shows you what could've been."

“Dear Brutus” opens Aug. 1 at 7:30 and plays Thur-Sat at 7:30

“

Along with building houses—not to mention empires— inventing things, and putting skirts on those oh-soprovocative piano legs, the Victorians also wrote. A lot. and Sun 2:30 through Aug. 11, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (inside Eastgate Town Center). $15/$10 students with valid I.D. (423) 9875141 or ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Meanwhile, another controversial Victorian continues his record of having books published about him virtually every year since his

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death in 1900. There’s no doubt Oscar Wilde would have loved the publicity. One of his most famous lines is, “There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.”

No worries, dear Oscar. In 2012, Wildeophile and documentary historian John Cooper rediscovered Wilde’s 1885 essay, “The Philosophy of Dress,” and has made it the centerpiece of his new book,

“Oscar Wilde on Dress” (CSM Press, 2013). Cooper kindly created a special excerpt for the Pulse, quotes from which are below—in which you’ll see that Oscar, as usual, was far ahead of his time.

“Wilde was an advocate for the artistic and aesthetics aspects of the dress reform movement of the late 19th century, whose focus was on making clothes, particularly for women, more comfortable and practical—free of stays, bustles and crinolines. There was much resistance to such reform among fashionable society. One women’s group in Washington, DC in 1895 was reported as decrying the ‘corsetless torso’ produced by the loose lines of aesthetic dress, eager as they were to ‘attract the eye upwards and away from the swelling hips’ evident in the ‘so-called art gown.’… “…One aspect we know for certain of Wilde and dress, just as it is true of him in many respects, is that he was literally avant garde (forward looking); he said: “...it is probable that dress of the two sexes will be assimilated as similarity of costume always follows similarity of pursuits. “...dress of the twentieth century will emphasis distinctions of occupation, not distinctions of sex.

“For Wilde to predict unisex dress in the nineteenth century was foresight enough; but the depth of Wilde’s vision was in seeing that it would result from factors that were unheard of at the time: sexual equality in employment and activities.”

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atop Lookout Mountain

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR

Dale Jones

THUrsday 08.01

The perfect place to take in the 7 states view at Rock City Gardens while feasting on delicious modern Southern cuisine.

Café 7 is also the best place to enjoy Summer Music Weekends featuring the traditional regional music of the Old Time Travelers. Café 7 and Summer Music Weekends are just two of a host of reasons to get a Rock City Annual Pass.

Seating available Thur.–Sun. 11am-4pm

Local, Fresh, Seasonal for more info call 706.820.2531

See RockCity.com

Ooltewah Farmer’s Market 2 p.m. - 5 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co., 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775, ooltewahnursery.com Basic Computer Class for Adults 2 p.m. - 3:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, lib.chattanooga.gov All-American Summer in Shades of Jazz with Shane Morrow 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org The 35.85 Guild Art Critique 7 - 10 p.m. The 35.85 Guild, 4501 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 521-2787, 3585guild.com Painting Workshop: “Two Cats” - Date Night 7 - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terrace, East Ridge.

(423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “Dear Brutus” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141 Dale Jones 7:30 p.m. The Comedy

16 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

SharkFest

Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com Kathryn Jarrett’s Art Shindig 8 - 10 p.m. Collective Clothing, 3933 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 488-0631, collective-clothing.com

friday 08.02 Bike2Work Breakfast 7 - 8:30 a.m. Waterhouse Pavillion, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 643-6888 “Pooled Elements - A Jewelry Collective” Exhibition Opening Reception 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, intowngallery.com Community Arts Show: “Mark Making” Opening Reception 5:30 - 8:30 AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org SharkFest 6 - 8:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0698, tnaqua.com Painting Workshop: Chattanooga - Vertical and Horizontal 7 - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terrace, East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138

Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Dale Jones 7:30, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “Dear Brutus” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141 Wide Open Floor 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Stand-Up Comedy 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

saturday 08.03 Artillery Demonstrations - Living History 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Point Park, 1 Point Park Rd., Lookout Mountain Downtown Kayak Adventures 9 - 11:30 a.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 2000 River St. (423) 643-6888 Tai Chi 9:30 - 10:30 a.m.

Chattanooga Public Library, Northgate Branch, 278 Northgate Mall River Market Yoga 10 a.m. - 11 a.m. Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496, chattanoogarivermarket.com

Digital Fine Art Printing Class 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Good World Goods Grand Opening Party 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Good World Goods, 8021 E. Brainerd Rd. goodworldgoods.com Watercolor Workshop with Alan Shuptrine 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453, shuptrines.com AG Bead & Jewelry Show 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 649-2496 Battle of Chattanooga Bus Tour Noon - 1:30 p.m. Chattanooga Ducks, 201 W. 5th St. (423) 756-3825, chattanoogaducks.com Basic Computer Class for Adults 2:30 - 3:30 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, lib.chattanooga.gov “Mystery of Flight 138” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St., (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Painting Workshop: “Wine With Glass” 7 - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terrace, East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Dale Jones 7, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR

First Free Sunday at the Hunter

“Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “Dear Brutus” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141 “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St., (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Stand-Up Comedy 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

sunday 08.04 Downtown Kayak Adventures 9-11:30 a.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga, 2000 River St. (423) 643-6888 AG Bead & Jewelry Show 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 649-2496 Celebrate Local Food 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com St. Mark’s Film Series presents: “Bully” Noon. St. Mark’s Church Northshore, 701 Mississippi Ave. First Free Sunday at the Hunter Noon - 4:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968,

huntermuseum.org “Dear Brutus” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141 Dale Jones 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

monday 08.05 McKay Books Customer Appreciation Day 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. McKay Books, 7734 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-0067, mckaybooks.com Painting Workshop: “Zebra” - Family Night 5:30 - 7:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terrace, East Eridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Learn to Line Dance!

5:30 - 8:30 p.m. Allemande Hall, 7400 Standifer Gap Rd. (423) 899-9913 Civic Arts League, Inc. Monthly Meeting 7 p.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. Thiel Fellows: Fireside Talks 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com

tuesday 08.06 Gigtank Demo Day: Main Event (Invitation Only) 9:30 a.m. - 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538, theatrecentre.com Gigtank Demo Day: Live Stream 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 4th Floor, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, lib.chattanooga.gov Painting Workshop: “Summer Breeze” 7 - 10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terrace, East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Tuesday Night Trivia 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. ringgoldacoustic.com Comedy Buffet 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

wednesday 08.07 Painting Workshop: “Jane’s Flowers” 2 - 4 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terrace, East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Help “Brand the Arts” in Chattanooga with ArtsBuild 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.

TRACK29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, track29.co Rapid Learning to Chester Frost 6 - 8 p.m. Chester Frost Park. (423) 643-6882, outdoorchattanooga.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Huntsville Stars 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley

ongoing Magic Tree House traveling exhibit 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. MonSun. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m. - 8 p.m. Thur., 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Fri.-Sat, noon - 5 p.m. Sun. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Sense of Place” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sat, 1-5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Iconic Chattanooga” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Fri. Reflection Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072, reflectionsgalleryTN.com “The Fair Game Project” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Fri., noon- 4 p.m. Sat. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd.

(423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org Community Arts Show: “Mark Making” 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tues.- Sat. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

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chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 17

Screen

john devore

Reaching For The Stars In Real Time The first time I watched “2001: a Space Odyssey,” I was in my early teens. I remember it being ponderous and slow, full of long shots and scenery, confusing and seemingly unrelated scenes, and an ending that made the beginning of the film seem downright intelligible. Most of my movie experiences prior to seeing “2001” had been with straightforward Hollywood blockbusters, so I was unprepared for a film that required contemplation.

While I didn’t understand most of what happened, I very much wanted to. The elusive nature of meaning in the Kubrick film was my first step into a much larger world. My appetite for good science fiction started there. “Europa Report,” which is available now On Demand and will hopefully get a full screening in Chattanooga sometime in the future, reminded me of my first encounter with hard science fiction and as a result jumped to the top of my list of the best films released this year. It has similar pacing, a slow burn that leads to a fascinating conclusion, and makes a genuine effort to show the realities of inter-solar system space travel. There are no hyperdrives or wormholes—just long years of living in a cramped environment with a handful of other people, risking everything to satisfy the most natural of human drives: curiosity.

“

It’s a lowbudget endeavor, yet it looks good, has good performances, and is written in a way that is neither pandering nor inscrutable.

18 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

The film uses the “found footage” style of storytelling, a style that has become something of a cliché in low-budget filmmaking. It’s especially popular in the horror genre, as it lends credence and realism to the film itself and gives it a leg up on viral marketing. However, this style of film has to be careful to create realistic reasons for the camera to be running. The “Paranormal Activity” films stop being convincing as sequels are added because it becomes harder and harder to believe that that much footage of a demonic presence

was recorded. “Europa Report” can sidestep this issue because the story revolves around a scientific expedition to Europa, an ice-covered moon of Jupiter. It’s the first deep-space mission of its kind and every second of it needs to be recorded for research purposes. For a good portion of the movie, these images are being sent back to Earth in real time. Because the footage will be used to inform the public of the mission, there is a good reason for exposition and explanation of the mission’s purpose, of the technology used, and of the

scientists’ roles on the ship. The film works because the storytelling device was so aptly chosen.

However, because of the storytelling style and certain plot choices towards the end of the film, “Europa Report” may be unfairly classified in the horror genre. While there are certainly some unsettling moments, the film itself is a celebration of an indomitable human spirit. The will to explore, to seek, to discover, overrides any thought of self preservation. The audience in a horror film might hide their eyes or shout at the screen when a character leaves the safety of the group, but “Europa Report” shows the necessity of taking that step. It’s about empowering rather than cowering. We understand and agree with the decisions made by the characters, because the film takes the time to show us just how long they waited to have the opportunity. Too often science fiction takes the easy way out, creating fantastic technology to solve problems of distance or comfort, eliminating the uneasy tension of realistic space travel. “Europa Report” shows how difficult the journey is and as a result we understand that the crew leaves the spaceship because they have the responsibility to do so.

There isn’t much about this film that I didn’t like. It’s a lowbudget endeavor, yet it looks good, has good performances, and is written in a way that is neither pandering nor inscrutable. Good space science fiction is very hard to come by—most attempts are overblown space operas with epic explosions and little else. This film was grounded in a way that hasn’t been seen in sci-fi in very long time, commenting on the privatization of the space industry and the current status of our technology. It’s a film that celebrates curiosity and rewards intelligence.

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chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 19

Free Will Astrology

rob brezsny tive, depending on the situation?

The time will soon be right for you to employ that metaphorical version of warfarin in both capacities.

Make sure you’re very clear about which is which.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Sergei Diaghi-

lev was a Russian ballet impresario who founded Ballets Russes, one of the 20th century’s great ballet companies. At one point in his career, he met French playwright Jean Cocteau. Diaghilev dared Cocteau to write a piece for a future Ballets Russes production.

“Astonish me!” he said. It took seven years, but Cocteau met the challenge.

He created Parade, a ballet that also featured music by Eric Satie and sets

by Pablo Picasso. Now let’s pretend I’m Diaghilev and you’re Cocteau. Imagine that I’ve just told you, “Astonish me!”

How will you respond? What surprising beauty will you come up with? What marvels will you unleash?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

Since 1948, the chemical known as warfarin has been used as a pesticide to poison rats. Beginning in 1954, it also became a medicine prescribed to treat thrombosis and other blood ailments in humans. Is there anything in your own life that resembles warfarin? A person or an asset or an activity that can either be destructive or construc-

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “My heart was a hysterical, unreliable organ,” wrote Vladimir Nabokov in his novel Lolita. We have all gone through phases when we could have uttered a similar statement.

But I doubt that this is one of those times for you, Libra. On the contrary. I suspect your heart is very smart right now—poised and lucid and gracious. In fact, I suggest you regard the messages coming from your heart as more trustworthy than any other part of you—wiser than your head and your gut and your genitals put together.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Holy Grail of skateboarding tricks is called the 1080. To pull it off, a skateboarder has to do three complete 360-degree revolutions in mid-air and land cleanly. No one had ever pulled it off until 12-year-old Tom Schaar did it in 2012. Since then, two other teenage boys have managed the same feat. But I predict that a Scorpio skateboarder will break the record sometime soon, managing a 1260, or three-and-a-half full revolutions. Why? First, because your tribe is unusually geared to accomplish peak performances right now. And second, you have a knack for doing complex maneuvers that require a lot of concentration.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Can you think of ways that you have been colonized? Have any powerful institutions filled up your brain with ideas and desires that aren’t in alignment with your highest values? For instance, has your imagination gotten imprinted

with conditioning that makes you worry that your body’s not beautiful enough or your bank account’s not big enough or your style isn’t cool enough?

If so, Sagittarius, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to get uncolonized. There has rarely been a better time than now to purge any brainwashing that puts you at odds with your deepest self.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): An

old Chinese poem tells us that “the true measure of a mountain’s greatness is not its height but whether it is charming enough to attract dragons.” You and I know there are no such things as dragons, so we can’t take this literally. But what if we treat it as we might a fairy tale? I suggest we draw a metaphorical meaning from it and apply it to your life. Let’s say that you shouldn’t be impressed with how big and strong anything is; you shouldn’t give your mojo to people or institutions simply because they have worldly power. Rather, you will be best served by aligning yourself with what’s mysterious and fabulous. You’re more likely to have fun and generate good fortune for yourself by seeking out stories that appeal to your soul instead of your ego.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The questions you have been asking aren’t terrible. But they could be formulated better. They might be framed in such a way as to encourage life to give you crisp insights you can really use rather than what you’ve been getting lately, which are fuzzy conjectures that are only partially relevant. Would you like some inspiration? See if any of these inquiries help hone your spirit of inquiry. 1. What kind of teacher or teaching do you need the most right now? 2.

What part of you is too tame, and what can you do about it? 3. What could you do to make yourself even more attractive and interesting to people than you

already are? 4. What is the pain that potentially has the most power to awaken your dormant intelligence?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method.” So says Ishmael, the hero of Herman Melville’s 19th-century novel Moby Dick.

He is ostensibly referring to whale hunting, which is his job, but some modern critics suggest he’s also talking about the art of storytelling. I suspect his statement applies to a certain enterprise you are currently engaged in, as well. Can you wrap your mind and heart around the phrase “careful disorderliness,” Pisces? I hope so, because I think it’s the true method.

Here are some other terms to describe it: benevolent chaos; strategic messiness; purposeful improvisation; playful experiments.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): To add

zest to mealtime, you might choose food that has been seasoned with red chili peppers, cumin, or other piquant flavors. Some chimpanzees have a similar inclination, which is why they like to snack on red fire ants. Judging from the astrological omens, I’m guessing you are currently in a phase when your attraction to spicy things is at a peak—not just for dinner but in other areas of your life, as well. I have a suggestion: Pursue rowdy fun with adventures that have metaphorical resemblances to red chili peppers, but stay away from those that are like red fire ants.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The 19th-

century English artist John Constable specialized in painting landscapes. The countryside near his home especially excited him. He said, “The sound of water escaping from mill dams, willows, old rotten planks, slimy posts, and brickwork, I love such things. They

made me a painter, and I am grateful.”

Take a cue from Constable, Taurus.

Spend quality time appreciating the simple scenes and earthy pleasures that nourish your creative spirit. Give your senses the joy of getting filled up with vivid impressions. Immerse yourself in experiences that thrill your animal intelligence.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): This is

Grand Unification Week for you Geminis. If your left hand has been at war with your right hand, it’s a perfect moment to declare a truce. If your head and heart have not been seeing eye to eye, they are ready to find common ground and start conspiring together for your greater glory. Are there any rips or rifts in your life? You will generate good fortune for yourself if you get to work on healing them. Have you been alienated from an ally or at odds with a beloved dream or separated from a valuable resource? You have a lot of power to fix glitches like those.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In an

episode of the TV show Twin Peaks, special agent Dale Cooper gives the following advice to his colleague Harry: “I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen.” Now I’m passing on this advice to you, Cancerian. It’s a perfect time for you to try out this fun game. You are in a phase of your astrological cycle when you’ll be wise to intensify your commitment to self-care ...and deepen your devotion to making yourself feel good...and increase your artistry at providing yourself with everything you need to thrive.

Homework: Compose a love spell to get more of the intimate connection you want, but without manipulating anyone’s free will. Tell me about it at Freewillastrology.com.

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20 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

Got Prime Rib?

We do!

“Oddly Enough” --you’ll only need every other letter.

Across 1 “Double Dare” host Summers 5 Inc., in Canterbury 8 Square peg in a round hole 14 Jesus in the outfield 15 Carlos’s treasure 16 British actress ___ Staunton 17 “You can’t forget the cheese and crust” rebuke?

19 Opt not to get carry-out 20 Duo behind “Is Dave there?” “[spin spin spin]”?

22 Snake Eyes’ team 25 It may be crude 26 Jumping chess pieces: abbr.

27 Tempe sch.

28 Great conductors 33 Mourner of Osiris 35 Home of the D-backs 36 String instruments 40 Sajak, after a radioactive run-in

gives him superhuman abilities?

43 Greet at the door 44 First-rate 45 Company behind Sonic the Hedgehog 46 Lack of good sense 49 Rule, for short 50 Years, to Yves 53 Chinese-born actress ___ Ling 54 Fully informed 56 With 62-across, unable-to-see-themovie phenomenon?

61 Tax dodger 62 See 56-across 66 Enlightenment, to Zen Buddhists 67 Simile words 68 Small teams 69 African bloodsucker 70 Uno follower 71 Restaurant reviewer’s website Down 1 Information booth handout

2 Boxer Laila 3 “Frasier” producer 4 Capital of the Inca Empire 5 Big deposit 6 Pop quiz response 7 Engine type, in mechanic shorthand (anagram of OH, DC) 8 Like some collisions 9 Cry while swooning 10 Cell phone button 11 Bela on banjo 12 Blithering fool 13 Zesty flavors 18 “Attention, please!”

21 1994 bestseller about Ebola, with “The” 22 Market upticks 23 Magazine copy 24 Electricity 29 Small battery 30 Unpredictable 31 Drink from a straw 32 Lancelot and Mix-a-Lot, for two 34 Arrived feet-first 37 “Nixon in China,” e.g.

38 Brewery product

39 Put on, as a performance 41 They’re not really helping 42 “Bottle Rocket” director Anderson 47 “The ___ Queene” (Spenser work) 48 Band over a gown, maybe 50 “This is ___ of the emergency...”

51 Bright stars 52 Winnemac, in Sinclair Lewis novels 55 Full of dandelions 57 “Is he ___ or is he...” (They Might Be Giants line) 58 Full washer 59 “Based on that...”

60 After-school orgs.

63 Orange or yellow 64 Alternative to Prodigy or CompuServe 65 Cook’s amt.

Copyright © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0634

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chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 21

On the Beat

alex teach

Concourse Discourse S

o the guy jumped out of the car while it’s rolling and he broke left while the car continued straight, which unfortunately was downhill on the side of a dark, grassy hill in the TVA recreation area on the north side of the Chickamauga Dam. As best I recall, there’s nothing down that hill but some large trees and the mandatory “scary even in the daylight” cinderblock restrooms, but I doubt even George Michael would be in there at 4 a.m. and that’s the thought I went with. (Unless you’re a “Wham!” fan, back off. I had half a second to think it through.)

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Being the more rational (or at least more practical) person between my client and I, I didn’t see a need to get out of my own car just yet. So I veered left and followed my customer at a much slower rate, and I took a second to wonder what his goal was in that little stunt.

People bail, stopped or not, in wooded areas, neighborhoods, mall parking lots…heck, anywhere but an open field. Maybe he was new to crime? I had plenty of time to consider this as I was now following a felonious jogger, but rather than continue pondering the “if’s,” I thought I’d just ask him directly.

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR CAR, SIR?” I said over the P.A. system. He glanced over his left shoulder and actually mouthed something, but I could not hear what it was; I only saw a puff of breath caused by the chill night air. (It wasn’t freezing outside, but the dew on the grass was starting to go from “slippery” to “slippery and icy.”) He had answered me. Interesting.

“I’M SORRY, I DIDN’T CATCH WHAT YOU SAID,” my P.A. blared. “IT JUST SEEMS KIND OF WEIRD THAT YOU JUMPED OUT OF YOUR CAR LIKE THAT.” Another hasty glance, another unintelligible puff of air.

“I’M JUST NOT HEARING YOU, SORRY. I’M GUESSING THAT WAS NOT YOUR CAR? DID YOU JUST CHANGE YOUR MIND OR

22 • The Pulse • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

“ SOMETHING? I’M A FORD MAN, MYSELF.” He hadn’t slowed down or changed course, and I continued to keep him framed in my headlights, his gray T-shirt producing a “U” of sweat just below the collar, and his cargo pants were billowing in the wind.

“LISTEN DUDE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I CAN GIVE YOU A RIDE, IT’S COOL,” I said. The open field really let my amplified voice carry, and at this he turned to look back again and I could just see that his left unshaven cheek was crooked up on one side enough to cause his left eye to squint above it, as if he had just said the word “What?” to an absurd question. At that precise moment, he tripped and flew forward towards the ground like a poorly secured surfboard being launched off of the roof of a car that just came to a sudden halt. It was kind of amazing.

He landed without grace, his feet pigeon-toed and his arms doing nothing to break his fall. “OOOHHHH!!!” I cried in mixed awe and sympathy, and gently applied the brake

He canted his head in confusion like a puppy, and asked the approaching cop, ‘Can you please, please ask him to stop talking to me?’

to pop out and bag my prey. I was already congratulating myself on my cleverness when I discovered that I was not, in fact, stopping. “AH, SHIT,” I said to planet Earth. (The P.A. was still in my hand, button depressed.)

The slide went on for hours, days, weeks, it seemed…and the bottom of his feet got larger and larger, until I couldn’t see them anymore over the hood of my extremely noncompliant cruiser in the short, wet grass.

“Ah, shit,” I repeated…but this time, unamplified.

The car finally stopped, as cars tend to do, and I jumped out to see if this guy was dead or not. I rounded the front of the car to see him only partially run over and asked if he was OK. “Please,” he muttered, “please stop talking to me.”

“Weird!” I said. “Everybody says that to me. Let’s get you out of there,” and I grabbed his hands to un-wedge his ass from my Vic’s oil pan.

I cuffed him just as another squad car finally arrived and asked him, “You are not a George Michael fan, I’m guessing?” He canted his head in confusion like a puppy, and asked the approaching cop, “Can you please, please ask him to stop talking to me?”

The other officer smiled. “Everybody says that to him. Let’s get you out of here.”

He began to cry. We got out of there.

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

 

   chattanoogapulse.com • AUGUST 1-7, 2013 • The Pulse • 23

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