The Pulse 11.06 » February 6, 2014

February 6-12

dr. rick

Vol. 11 • No. 6

shrink rap

guidance from a friendly voice

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Chattanooga has the

blues A brief history of the city's major role in this uniquely American music

2 • The Pulse • february 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

brewEr media group

Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

C

ontents

Happenings

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Mike McJunkin

THE BOWL: Chinese New Year... Chattanooga Gigabit Community Fund

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Art Director Gary Poole Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Marc T. Michael Ernie Paik • Gary Poole • Alex Teach Michael Thomas • Dr. Clark White Editorial Interns Madeline Chambliss • Dea Lisica • Leith Tigges Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow Photographer/Webmaster Josh Lang Cover Art Photo - Jack Owens • Mike McJunkin Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

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Features

RIVER CITY BLUES CULTURE Chattanooga’s major role in uniquely American music

By Dr. Clark "deaconbluz" White

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Lisa Dicaire • Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer Stacey Tyler • Jerry Ware • Candice York

MUSIC: River City Hustlers revive better than ever NEW MUSIC REVIEWS: Thollem Electric’s Keyngdrum Overdrive... Talulah Gosh DINING OUT: The Acropolis has new look, same great food

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar calendar@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching.

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Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

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F O NG se I l AT Pu TURE D The FU INE k in L N ee O xt W

FEBRUARY

SCREEN: International Film Music Festival bigger than ever this year FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD

Voices

POETRY PAST DARKNESS Poet Richard Jackson reaches beyond what is

By Rich Bailey

DR. RICK: Others have trodden the path—and spoken well about it ALEX TEACH: Setting us straight on concealed carry

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BOWL

THE

chattanooga’s weekly alternative NEWS • COMMENTARY • BULLETINS & PUSH NOTIFICATIONS AT DIAL-UP SPEED facebook/chattanoogapulsE • TWITTER @CHATTAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Chinese New Year

Horsing Around Have you ever seen pictures of a Chinese New Year parade—paper lanterns hanging above the street, a long colorful dragon snaking below as it’s manipulated by dancers, oil-paper umbrellas shading spectators on the sides—and thought, “If only I didn’t have to spend thousands of dollars and sit on a plane for hours to see that?”

On Feb. 8, the whole family can enjoy a Chinese New Year celebration with just a short car ride to the Creative Discovery Museum.

It’s the Year of the Horse in 2014. Festivities will begin at noon and will include traditional Lion Dance performances and a martial arts demonstration by the Chien Hong Lion Dance Troupe from Atlanta, paper lantern and lion construction, and readings about Chinese New Year.

Liza Blair, Arts Manager at Creative Discovery Museum, describes the event as “a special time for families to celebrate a cultural tradition while engaging in a rich and colorful arts experience.”

Activities and performances are free with admission. $12.95. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chesnut St. (423) 7562738, cdmfun.org — Dea Lisica Gigabit Community Fund

Mozilla Gorilla Mozilla’s Gigabit Community Fund invites educators, developers, designers and community leaders to the launch event of the Chattanooga Gigabit Community Fund.

Local gigabit developments and opportunities will be the highlight on Feb. 6 when the Chattanooga Public Library hosts the kick-off event. Attendees will participate in discussions, speeches and 4 • The Pulse • february 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

breakout sessions to support new and growing local developments.

The afternoon will open with Chattanooga Mayor Andy Berke and Hamilton County Mayor Jim Coppinger, followed by perspective shared by The National Science Foundation, the Department of Education and US Ignite. New developments within Chattanooga will be spotlighted by EPB and the Chattanooga Public Library.

The event features include demos of the 22 prototypes built for the Mozilla Ignite Challenge and discussion on improvement of education, workforce development, and digital storytelling. Grant application guidelines will also be covered.

Mozilla’s Hive NYC Learning Network and Code for America will give insight into digital learning and goals. As further learning experience and workforce development are the key goals, this event will further create involvement and awareness for future projects and innovators.

The launch will shed light on funding and local support of development, experimentation and opportunities for future endeavors. Selected projects will receive up to $30,000 along with ongoing support from Mozilla. The event will take place on the 4th floor of the Chattanooga Public Library and will begin at 11 a.m.

— Leith Tigges

Shrink Rap

rick pimental-habib, Ph.d

Finding Guidance from a Friendly Voice Others have trodden the path—and spoken well about it While paying homage to Rev. Martin Luther King last month, I came across some quotes from Dr. King, and was reminded, yet again, of how wisdom is passed down through the ages by way of inspirational sayings from those we admire. Dr. King was certainly one of our modern sages, as he guided us with many memorable and inspiring words, giving countless people something to hold onto, during good times as well as during times of oppression. Across my desk, among the many pearls of wisdom from Dr. King, came a new one (to me): “Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others?”

While no doubt we are all familiar with at least some of the many layers of practical, psychological, and emotional well-being that comes from helping others—analyst Carl Jung touted the mental health benefit of “finding relief from anguish in action” and encouraged patients to “go out and help another”; Mother Teresa suggested that if we can’t help 1,000 people, to just help one—I hadn’t known that Dr. King proposed the same guidance.

And yet, he lived a life devoted to improving the plight of others, so really, why would it come as a surprise?

“

We gain insight, find out that we’re not alone with our personal brand of suffering, when we hear the voices of others who have journeyed along a similar road, and have chosen to help us by paying forward their lessons learned.”

And here’s what I love about truisms: As the above suggests, the exact same sentiment can be expressed from entirely different sources, and if it’s true for you, it will nonetheless resonate deeply. You may hear it from your spiritual leader, your

therapist, or a late-night comic. It may come to you in a dream, or in your weekly horoscope. But when it rings, it rings.

For instance, here’s how Swami Vivekananda expressed this same notion of helping others: “If you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way.”

We gain insight, find solace, find out that we’re not alone with our personal brand of suffering, when we hear the voices of others who have journeyed along a similar road, and have chosen to help us by paying forward their lessons learned. I have bookshelves full of guidance from ancient sages through modern masters, and whether life is posing a difficult chapter or an easy one, these quotes keep the learning and the coping fresh. They can help us with self-parenting and cheerleading. They can reduce anxiety, they can offer up an “a-ha” moment.

When we feel bereft of having a single other soul who understands, we find a friendly voice in their words.

Toward that end, I offer daily inspirations on Twitter (@DrRickWellNest), and here I want to share with you some of my most recent favorites, in the hope that whatever

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chapter of life you’re in, there’s something here that can lift you up, provide some inspiration, give you what you need to keep on keeping on…and then maybe you’ll pay it forward and follow Dr. King’s (and others’) advice to help someone else with that which has just given you a moment of grace, a chin-chuck of strength, or a reason to smile.

“Faith: When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly.” — Patrick Overton “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines.

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade winds in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

— (misattributed to Mark Twain) “Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works.

You do more of what works.”

— Leonardo da Vinci “Truth is not defined by how many people believe something.

Ask. Question. Ponder. Think. De-

cide…for yourself.” — Anonymous “Breath by breath, let go of fear, expectation, anger, regret, cravings, frustration, fatigue. Let go of the need for approval.” — Lama Surya Das “Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” — Anonymous And in an effort to provide solace, inspiration, insight and healing here in our own little corner of the world, Well Nest Chattanooga (my wellness center) is launching our first monthly healing retreat, inspired by the mysteries of love, on Saturday, Feb. 8, from noon to 5. Contact me for more information and to register.

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga.

Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com and follow his daily inspirations on Twitter: @DrRickWellNest

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Mural "Big Nine Legends" by Mark Making, E. MLK Blvd. at Palmetto St. Photo courtesy of Mark Making

Blues Culture and Black Experience in the River City

By Clark “deaconbluz” White, Ph.D/blues impresario

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s early as the 1820’s, free Blacks, enslaved Africans and “freed” blacks were living in Chattanooga. During and after the Civil War, there was a tremendous in-migration of African Americans into the city. This was one of the periods of Black migration when rural Black peasants sought a new life under new circumstances in a new city.

Chattanooga’s major role in uniquely American music

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During the Civil War, Blacks sought refuge in “Camp Contraband” on the north bank of the Tennessee River near Hill City. It was there that they organized one of the first brass marching bands. By the late 1870’s, the Chattanooga Colored Brass Band was performing in the city. The history of the blues in Chattanooga begins during the late 1880’s.

Around this time a new and different music was developing throughout the Black Belt South—the emerging voice of a free people.This freedom opened up opportunities for creative expression. Freedom brought autonomy and with it, a new form of musical arts: the blues.This was a period when you could hear the music being played in places like Blue Goose Hollow on the side of Cameron Hill, down by the river at Tannery Flats, on the sidewalks of Pine and Ninth Street and down on the riverbank at Ross’s Landing. What you would have heard would have been a single musician or a small group playing primarily string and rhythm instruments. Some of this music evolved into the blues, while another stream became Black Appalachian folk music.

Because Chattanooga was a growing urban area, the music tended to reflect the familiar blues chord changes designed to make the feet move. This is the era when early blues music was being created and transmitted by African Americans throughout the Black Belt South. In Chattanooga, businessman John Lovell had opened his saloon in 1870, and by the turn of the century, there were at least ten Black saloons in the city. All of these establishments hired musicians. As Chattanooga was a major railroad terminus and final destination for some African American migrants, it’s quite easy to imagine that as blues people traveled in and out of Chattanooga they carried and shared their music. By the late 1890’s, Southern agriculture was in decline, farming had become increasingly mechanized, and there was a lot of anti-Black violence. Blacks moved into the city seeking to escape the very oppressive life in rural areas. What Chattanooga offered them was a chance to earn a living, start a business, take advantage of free public education, maintain houses of worship and participate in social and civic affairs.

Their primary music was the Blues.

It was the music of the Black rural peasant slowly becoming a new industrial working class. They came from land defined by the soil to land covered with concrete. They no longer had to labor as plantation hands—they now found employment as industrial workers in the emerging foundry industry of the city. The mu-

Ma Rainey

sic of these proletarians was the blues.

It was rooted in and defined by the laws of Black folklore, which included songs, rhymes, stories, sayings, jokes and sermons that reflected an African American point of view. The blues is not exclusively and primarily a “sad” music as it is so often represented.

However, this essentially existentialist worldview encompasses feelings that include affirmation, lamentation, celebration, contemplation, irony, wit, and ambivalence. Blacks in Chattanooga had a lot to sing the blues about.

In the chaos created by white supremacy and the absurdity of “Jim Crow”, a blues culture emerged.

Government-backed Reconstruction policies and programs were being eliminated and replaced by a rigid color caste system of racial segregation. After the Supreme Court ruled that “separate but equal” was the law of the land, there was an increasing effort to roll back Black voting rights, educational opportunities and economic development. This resulted in an increasingly color/caste segregated and subjugated society.

By law (de jure) and by social custom (de facto), Chattanooga was a segregated city, although there were some racially mixed communities on the old West Side. Up until the early 1900’s, Blacks in Chattanooga had had been represented in city government in elected and appointed positions, but by the 1920’s they were slowly being denied equal rights.

This did not stop them from organizing local chapters of the NAACP, the National Negro Business League, several Masonic Lodges and a chapter of Garvey’s Universal Negro Improvement Association. Blacks in Chattanooga even started their own taxi and bus service. All of this was a direct reflection of how blues people were very conscious actors in their own path to freedom and equality.

Chattanooga’s Black workingclass people gravitated towards the philosophy of the blues, Booker T. Washington and Marcus Garvey.

While some may have shared the ideas of W.E.B. Du Bois and his “talented tenth”, among the city’s Black proletariat self-determination was

a form of pragmatic strategic thinking, given the oppressive nature of white supremacy in the city.

In the midst of this era, the blues became the sound track of the Afri»P8

John Lovell

chattanoogapulse.com • february 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 7

can American experience in the 20th century. All forms of American popular music have been influenced by the blues, from Tin Pan Alley to rock. The blues, as a commodity, was fundamental in the development of the early modern recording industry. The first “superstar” in the music recording industry was Bessie Smith, a Chattanooga native. “Race” record sales brought in tremendous profits for recording

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see young Blacks on the streets of Chattanooga performing as street dancers, singers and comedians while “busking” on city street corners. This turned out to be a way for performers to develop their skills well enough to be hired by a traveling show like the Original Georgia Minstrels, Black Pattis Troubadours and Silas Green from New Orleans.

There was also work for entertainers in the local theaters, such as the

It was not uncommon to see young Blacks on the streets of Chattanooga performing as street dancers, singers and comedians while “busking” on city street corners.

companies. It was on the backs of Black women blues singers such as Ma Rainey, Mamie Smith and Bessie Smith that the modern recording industry was born.

Black culture became a marketable commodity. Chattanooga was one of the major cities providing space and talent for the emerging entertainment industry. By the late 1890’s, the city hosted at least nine minstrel and variety shows, and was for a time the headquarters for the Theater and Booking Owners Association, a network of theaters and performance venues throughout the country that booked Black talent into segregated Black theaters. Chattanooga had a segregated music venue, the New Opera, that opened in 1886. In 1910, there were three theaters, the Ivy, the Grand and the Palace on East Ninth Street. One of the main performers was Al “the Minstrel King” Fields.

As a main stop on the “chitlin’ circuit”, Chattanooga’s access to several rail lines made it an ideal city for troupes to stop over and perform.

In one case, a theater company and the railroads worked together to ensure the timing of trains to coincide with performances. The city was full of young and hungry talent. It was not uncommon to

8 • The Pulse • february 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Liberty and the Grand that featured Black vaudevillians. Occasionally a musical comedy like Sherman Dudley’s troupe would perform in local theaters. Bessie Smith and her brother both came out of the “street academy” of public performance.

This was truly the first era of the paid black entertainer. You could hear blues performers at “juke” houses, food stands, sporting events, bus stations, cafes, buffet flats and gambling houses. Some days you could hear Rhoda “Aunt Roddy” Jennings with her bluesy street cry advertising her fried chicken and fish sandwiches. Maybe you heard the booming voice of the Rev. Addison “Big Wheel” Cole, who was known for saying in a very strong loud voice, “Let big wheel roll on” as he walked the streets around West Ninth Street. The city played a major role in the significant cultural transformation taking place in the musical landscape of America.

If you happened to live in Chattanooga then, were the right color and knew where to go to have a good time, you ended up in some form of juke or good time house.

There were plenty of these spaces called “chitlin’ struts” organized and frequented by Chattanooga’s Black

working class. Since the early days of slavery the juke had been a place energized by live music, dance, food and libation. The world of the juke was clandestine, usually containing quasi-legal and illegal activities.

Totally off limit sto most whites, this was a recreational space where Blacks no longer had to wear the mask or the phony smile. In these spaces, they could be themselves and exercise a style of fellowship that was an experience of true democracy. You could let your hair down, eat some fried fish, gamble, flirt with the opposite sex, drink liquor, smoke weed and shout out the blues and shout at the blues singer.

Because of its democratic nature, anybody could sing, play and dance to the blues in these places. There was a lot of freedom of expression to sing the blues about the mean boss, or “old mean jim crow” or a broken heart. Dances like the “buzzard lope”, the “eagle rock” and the “huck a buck” were created to complement the blues. The juke was also one site where organized resistance to white supremacy was worked out.

For example, after the lynching of Ed Johnson in 1906, Black workers staged a sit-down strike. These were some of the same patrons of the juke world. No doubt their actions were discussed and plotted out in private.

The people of the juke world lived in the secular sphere. They were guided by experience and wit as opposed to any form of religion. They lived in the here and now, not the hereafter.

And their music was the blues.

From the early days of the blues through the period of vaudeville, Chattanooga had a vibrant blues culture. But by the early 1930’s, commercialization of the blues was impacted by the Great Depression.

The first major period of American entertainment in the 20th century was coming to a close. The majority of successful performers up this time had been Black women. It would be another decade before the blues regained its economic vitality. Yet in the world of the juke, the people of the juke in Chattanooga continued to preserve, present and perpetuate blues culture and the Black experience with elegance and style.

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Music

Marc T. Michael

Rock & Roll Resurrection River City Hustlers revive better than ever

V

IC BURGESS IS EASILY ONE OF THE BEST songwriters I have ever personally known. He is a highly skilled multi-instrumentalist, a great producer and a wonderful fellow, but his songwriting is what really sets him apart.

This article is not about him.

This article is about the River City Hustlers, a terrific rock and roll band that came, went—and has come again.

To tell the story right, though, we have to go back to the beginning and in the beginning there was Vic and he was good.

It was 2007 when Vic and Roland McCoy decided to put together a band that would play the sort of music they listened to growing up (KISS, GnR, and the Cult to name a few), so they called on a handful of local musicians and set to it. Matt O’Bryant and Chris Smith were brought in on lead and rhythm guitar respectively. Burgess took up bass duty and McCoy banged skins. The troupe was rounded out by Bethany Kidd, the brainy beauty with a master’s in literature and a doctorate in wailing on the microphone. In short order the kids were making the rounds of clubs, bars, the radio and Riverbend. A year later, both Vic and Matt departed to pursue other projects. This would only be the first of a number of player changes. Too often a change in the lineup can mean the beginning of the end for a band, but no matter who rotated in or out, they maintained their following and, most importantly, their sound.

The really amazing thing is that whatever they may have gleaned from their influences, the band’s music sounds completely original and unique. They don’t sound like KISS, they don’t sound like GnR; they sound less like their influences and more like contemporaries of those influences and that’s kind of a big deal. Influence means different things depending on the age and experience of the musicians.

honest music

When I was a teenager, there was a popular band in my hometown called Valhalla and their members were huge Van Halen fans. You could tell. You could tell because they acted like Van Halen on stage (sort of ) and all of their original music sounded like Van Halen (sort of ). They weren’t a Van Halen cover band, they were just young and inexperienced so “being influenced” really meant “trying like hell to emulate” and it’s a thing most musicians go through at some point. Frankly, it’s a thing that many musicians never shake completely, which is what makes the Hustlers stand out.

They’ve mastered a genre without being derivative of the big names of that genre, instead carving out their own niche.

So how to describe a band that could rock alongside their idols without actually sounding like them? Why, with a half-baked analogy of course! I spent a few hours listening to the six tracks the band gave me, kind of going “stream of consciousness” with it and when all is said and done here’s my analysis: Imagine if AC/DC had played swamp rock with a young, healthy Janis Joplin who actually took care of her voice instead of screaming herself hoarse. That is an approximation of what you get with the Hustlers.

Mind you, this is an indirect comparison. They don’t sound like AC/DC, they sound like what alternative universe AC/DC might have sounded like. Kidd doesn’t sound like Joplin, she sounds like what a happier, healthier Joplin might have sounded like. Point of clarification, I prefer Bethany’s growly, vicious vocals to Janis any day and before you cry sacrilege you need to hear the lady sing. She is supremely suited to the music she makes.

Simply put, the Hustlers are good, old-fashioned, nasty rock and roll; torn denim stained with blood and beer and gravel in the soles of your Doc Martins. A snarling beast of a guitar, a banshee on the mic and a rhythm section burly enough to support the band’s enormous brass balls, the Hustlers music wants to have a beer with you, punch you in the mouth and then have another beer and laugh about it. Powerful mojo… …or it would be if they hadn’t called it quits in 2010.

Ah, but there’s a happy ending to this cerebral massage.

Core members (Roland McCoy, Bethany Kidd, and Chris Smith along with bassist Rob Tyler) reformed the band last July and are back with a vengeance. The proof will be on display this Valentine’s Day at Sky Zoo where the Hustlers will be appearing with Nosecone Prophets and the Skip Cisto Band. The show starts at 9 p.m. and there is no cover (track their other appearances via rchustlers on Facebook.) If you were already a fan, then you’re already there. If you somehow missed them the first time around, here’s your chance to roll around in the kind of rock music that terrifies grannies and televangelists. The River City Hustlers are back, kids—now go get you some!

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10 • The Pulse • february 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • ernie paik

Get WITH! It or Dream On Fecklessly eclectic, eternally youthful

Thollem Electric’s Keyngdrum Overdrive WITH! (Union Pole)

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eemingly unstoppable, the spontaneous keyboardist Thollem McDonas constantly travels the world, developing musical collaborations with both experienced veterans and up-and-coming rookies and releasing literally dozens of albums along the way.

It may be daunting to navigate his catalog, which features team-ups with notables including Minutemen bassist Mike Watt, Half Japanese front man Jad Fair, free-jazz double-bassist William Parker and members of groups such as The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Deerhoof and Wilco, and it might be easy for his new album to get lost in the shuffle, considering that it’s only available as a “name your price” digital download. However, fans shouldn’t overlook it, particularly those drawn to free-flowing yet intense jazz-rock fusion styles.

The album at hand, WITH!, arrives under the “Thollem Electric” moniker and further “Keyngdrum Overdrive” specification, designating duo configurations

Talulah Gosh Was It Just a Dream?

(Damaged Goods)

with drummers—ten of them, in all. This writer didn’t recognize any of the drummers’ names, and clearly, there are different skill levels involved, from the professional to relatively unseasoned players.

Upon first listen, the flat-out rocking moments are the ones that stick out prominently, evoking early ’70s “Electric Miles”type fusion, as if creating the logical extension of Miles Davis’ chaotic evil “Rated X” using only two musicians or some dirtiedup Mr. Hyde version of Silver Apples.

McDonas plays Fender Rhodes and ElkaPiano 88 keyboards, and there is something intrinsically pleasing about the sound of electric pianos, particularly with a little distortion to bring grittiness and darkness to the proceedings; here, his improvisations typically use lefthand vamping and right-hand soloing, with a determined, path-forging attitude.

WITH! also offers a bit of variation, with irregular beats and some more scattered ap-

proaches, including some dramatic timpani rolls, heavy freejazz maelstrom and even a hiphop-leaning rhythm for the final track. The album works more often than it doesn’t, and being a stimulating, wandering and fearlessly eclectic album, we’d expect no less from McDonas.

T

he British band Talulah Gosh, active between 1986 and 1988, proved that it was possible to be simultaneously tough and sweet, smushing together unabashedly cute jangle-twee-pop with charged, fast punk outbursts.

It’s in the spirit of forebears Dolly Mixture and Altered Images, the latter of which inspired the band name Talulah Gosh (it was lead singer Clare Grogan’s would-be stage name), with an occasional punk edge, bringing to mind the leather-jacket-hug of punk softies-at-heart Ramones with Buzzcocks-style tight, swift, driving beats, thanks to drummer Mathew (sic) Fletcher.

Although lumped in with C86 British indie-pop, it has

aged much better than many of its contemporaries, and the new compilation Was It Just a Dream? neatly assembles the group’s entire output on one CD, combining the now out-of-print anthology Backwash with the 4-song EP of demos unearthed in 2011.

Even with a relatively small catalog, it makes this writer’s British indie-pop shortlist (alongside the aforementioned, plus The Field Mice, Saint Etienne and Belle and Sebastian), so why is this music so enduring? It’s concentrated and concise, the vocal harmonies from singers Amelia Fletcher and Elizabeth Price stick with you, and it’s just eternally youthful and utterly charming.

While adorable, the band doesn’t have a sheltered view of the world, offering references to ambitious jazz odysseys (“Escalator Over the Hill”) or screwball comedies (“Bringing Up Baby”), and threatening either affection or violence, peppered with sung “la la la”s and “ba ba ba”s.

Perhaps the quintessential track is “Talulah Gosh,” featuring an exhilarating chorus which quickly accelerates to breakneck speed, and the whirlwind song “In Love for the Very First Time” is a testament to what can be done in a mere 68 seconds, cramming in two verses and three call-and-response/chorus sections, plus a manic guitar solo.

The most unhinged moment comes in “Testcard Girl,” with sonic chaos and screaming, while “Just a Dream,” with a reverberating “Be My Baby” drumbeat, is soft, tender and blissful. Most members of Talulah Gosh went on to form the group Heavenly—newcomers should start with The Decline and Fall of Heavenly —with the edges rounded off, but with its jagged bits of hard candy, Talulah Gosh enjoyed a short, perfect career. chattanoogapulse.com • february 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live

CHATTANOOGA

MUSIC CALENDAR Larry Keel

"Gabriel Newell"

LIVE MUSIC FEBRUARY

6 FRI DRIVIN N CRYIN 9:30p 7 MUSIC FOR MUTTS SAT 8p 8 WED DRAKE WHITE 9p 12 THU ZOSO 9p 13 THE COMMUNICATORS FRI 10p 14 VELCRO PYGMIES SAT 10p 15 LARRY KEEL ACOUSTIC POWER TRIO with CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT

THU 9p

with THE HEAD

for NOAHS-BARK ANIMAL RESCUE BIG FIRE with THREE MILE SOUTH

THE ULTIMATE LED ZEPPELIN TRIBUTE PRESENT THAT '90S LOVE SHOW!

THE BOYS ARE READY TO ROCK!!

2.19 PACK OF WOLVES 2.20 MIKE DILLON BAND 2.21 APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION & POISON’D

COMING SOON

JOHNNY CASH BASH SAT 9p 22 11TH ANNUAL BIRTHDAY BASH!

MIGHTY SIDESHOW SAT 10p THE ROCKIN BOYS ARE BACK!

1

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

THUrsday 2.6 “Pickin’ at the Post” with bluegrass bands 5 p.m. American Legion Post, Trenton, Ga. (706) 657-5275 “Feel It Thursday” jam sessions/open mic 5 p.m. Mocha’s Restaurant and Music Lounge, 511 Broad St. (423) 531-4154 Red Bank Bluegrass Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Church of the Nazarene, 6310 Dayton Blvd. (423) 877-9948, chattanoogagrace.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Soddy-Daisy Jamboree 7 p.m. Soddy-Daisy Community Center, 190 Deport St., Soddy-Daisy.

(423) 332-4901 Bad Tattoo 7 p.m. Las Margaritas, 1647 25th St. NW, Cleveland.

(423) 614-8855 Scenic City Roots 7 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, track29.co Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camphouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Forever Bluegrass 7 p.m. Whole Foods Market, 301 Manufacturers Blvd.

(423) 702-7300, boxcarforeverbluegrass.com

12 • The Pulse • february 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Tim Neal and Mike Harris 7:30 p.m. Mexi Wings VII, 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexiwingviichattanooga.com Open Mic with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Battle of the Bands II 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com Dark Horse Ten, Birds With Fleas, Yakapo 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Larry Keel Acoustic Power Trio, Capt. Midnight 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com DJ Puddin 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Rolling Nowhere 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Wasted 10 p.m. Dalton Depot, 110 Depot St., Dalton, Ga. (706) 226-3160, thedaltondepot.net

friday 2.7 Charley Yates 4:30 p.m. Wimpie’s Country Restaurant, 9826 Dayton Pike. (423) 332-6201 Johnny Cash Tribute Show

5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, cancunmexicanrest.com Danny Sample/Dave Walters 7 p.m. 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212, 212market.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Mike Phillips 7 p.m. Becky’s Restaurant and Spirits, 2503 Westside Dr. (423) 485-3873 Cowboy Gospel Jubilee, Robby Hopkins 7 p.m. Cleveland Cowboy Church, 3040 Blythe Rd., Cleveland. (423) 476-7936, clevelandcowboychurch.com Bad Tattoo 8 p.m. Hamilton’s Food & Spirits, 243 North Hamilton St., Ste. 5, Dalton, Ga. (706) 270-0467, hamiltonsdining.com Marshall Chapman 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, christunity.org Wide Open Floor: Bittersweet Nothings 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347,

barkinglegs.org Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pike.

(423) 886-3252 Eli Young Band, Cadillac Three 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, track29.co Gabriel Newell 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Rough Works 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com Dance with Live Music and DJ Bree-Z 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777, bartslakeshore.com DJ Dubkitten 9 p.m. Images Showbar, 6505 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210, mirage-complex.com Drivin N Cryin, The Head 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Austin Nickels Band 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Hazes, Socro, Waterfall Wash 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

MUSIC CALENDAR Drake White

Glowing Bordis

Thursday, February 6: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, February 7: 9pm Gabriel Newell Saturday, February 8: 10pm Ryan Oyer Tuesday, February 11: 7pm

saturday 2.8 Johnny Cash Tribute Show 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Oh Jeremiah & Ryan Culwell 7 p.m. The Camphouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com The Ringgold Opry 7 p.m. Ringgold Depot, 155 Depot St., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-5290 Mark Kelly Hall 8 p.m. Magoo’s, 3658 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

(423) 867-1351, facebook.com/MagoosTN Convertibull 8 p.m. American Legion Post, 227 James Asbury Dr. NW, Cleveland. (423) 476-4451, thelegion.org Music For Mutts with Beyond Red, Subkonscious, Stoneline, Natural Habitz, The Hillbilly Sins 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com May Comb Criers 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com

DJ Dubkitten 9 p.m. Images Showbar, 6505 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210, mirage-complex.com Dance with Live Music or DJ Bree-Z 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777, bartslakeshore.com Austin Nickels Band 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com Ryan Oyer 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Glowing Bordis, Hudson K, Okinawa 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com DJ Bataille 10 p.m. The Flying Squirrel Bar, 55 Johnson St,.

(423) 602-5980, flyingsquirrelbar.com

sunday 2.9 9th Street Stompers 11 a.m. The Flying Squirrel Bar, 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980, flyingsquirrelbar.com Pickin’ At The Post Bluegrass 6 p.m. American Legion Post 81, 227 James Asbury Dr. NW, Cleveland.

(423) 476-4451, thelegion.org

Irish Music 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Blind Draw 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com DJ Spicolli 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com DJ Dubkitten 9 p.m. Images Showbar, 6505 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210, mirage-complex.com Waxahatchee, Bohannons 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

monday 2.10 Babershop Harmony Group 7 p.m. All Saints Academy, 310 East 8th St. (423) 876-7359 Music Monday at Pasha 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 Southside Casual Classics 7:30 p.m. The Camphouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Big Band Night 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com

tuesday 2.11 DJ X’Phakder 6 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, chattazooga.com Ben Friberg Jazz Group 8 p.m. The Flying Squirrel Bar, 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980, flyingsquirrelbar.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike.

(423) 266-1996 Super Happy Funtime Burlesque, SSCSS 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook

wednesday 2.12 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Drake White and The Big Fire, Three Mile South 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St, (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Comedy Buffet 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

house ground wagyu beef burger • fries $10

10

celebrating delicious years!

m-th 5-9:30pm • fri-sat 5-10pm 1278 market st • 423.266.4400

chattanoogapulse.com • february 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

Dining Out

michael thomas

Gracious, Delicious and Greek Well-loved Acropolis has new look, same great food

“

We want people to see, taste and celebrate how fresh, delicious and healthy Greek food is.

We’re Greek and nobody celebrates like the Greeks.”

My first experience with Greek food was in the earlyto-mid-’80s at a small, local, family-run Greek restaurant called “Little Athens.” This was during a period when I was experimenting with different cuisines as well as a tragic array of big hair techniques and the tensile strength of skintight spandex. Like so much about that era, parts of my visits to Little Athens remain a bit foggy, but I will never forget the experience of stumbling through my first attempts to enunciate the words spanakopita and moussaka or my first taste of those beautifully delicious Greek dishes prepared and served by the Kyriakidis family.

Today, many things have changed. My hair is no longer big and my pants are no longer tight, but the same family that introduced me and so

14 • The Pulse • february 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

many Chattanoogans to the joys of Greek food are still on a Mediterranean food mission. Little Athens moved to Hamilton Place Blvd. in 1995 and changed its name to The Acropolis Grill, but the Kyriakidis family is still reimagining and revisiting what Greek food can be without sacrificing the classic tastes we all know and love.

Greek food has always been about fresh, local and healthy ingredients, which speaks directly to the current, renewed interest in fresh, local food.

“Greeks have always had a strong connection to our food,” says Nick Kyriakidis, “We want people to see, taste and celebrate how fresh, delicious and healthy Greek food is. We’re Greek and nobody celebrates like the Greeks.”

If you’re a longtime fan of the Acropolis Grill, the main

menu still offers a wide array of dishes, both classic Greek and those influenced by the broader Mediterranean region. For the carnivores, beef, pork, lamb and chicken are well represented in chop, kebab, steak and burger form.

The carbivores have a tempting assortment of pastas and parmesans (including the Ravioli La Creama covered in decadent smoked Gouda Alfredo).

For anyone and everyone there are seafood, salads, sandwiches, soups and, because this is the South, there’s even some buttermilk-fried chicken and sirloin pot roast.

The Kyriakidises recently renovated the Acropolis’ dining room for a fresher and more open feel that welcomes you as you walk in the door.

The bakery case is still there, serving as a source of temptation with its resplendent cakes, pies and various pastries that call out to you as you enter and leave the restaurant like sugary sirens of sweets. I appreciate a well-decorated dining room as well as the next guy, but the food is always my raison de visiter and the Acropolis’ rotating specials menu has been getting a lot of my attention on my recent visites.

This past week I dropped into the Acropolis for dinner and the specials menu sent me into a fit of indecision. While the Lamb Sliders with tzatziki, spring greens and tomato and the Duck Leg “Pot Roast” with roasted red potatoes and roasted brussel sprouts were very tempting, I decided to try the Greek Nachos and Stuffed Pickett’s Farm Trout.

Nick explains that the Acropolis’ Greek Nachos were born out of an idea to “take

something that’s comforting, like nachos, and give it a Greek twist.” House-made potato chips are covered with tangy Greek feta cheese, mozzarella, briny Kalamata olives, a seriously delicious house-made smoked tomato salsa, tzatziki, pesto, relish and shaved gyro meat. The Acropolis is one of only two or three restaurants in town that uses an actual Gyro Machine (vertical broiler) and it shows in the quality and freshness of their gyro meat.

Every ingredient in these nachos is house made and you can taste the freshness and quality of the ingredients in every bite.

I could have easily made a meal out of the nachos alone, but I stopped myself to save room for the Stuffed Pickett’s Farm Trout, which was a wise decision. A light, but slightly rich, shrimp and crab stuffing is nestled between both filets of a freshly cleaned Pickett’s trout and topped with a citrusy, blood orange beurre blanc. The trout was perfectly cooked, soft and almost buttery, set against the crisp flavors of the crab and shrimp, with the citrusy tang from the beurre blanc rounding out the flavors.

As I finished my draft beverage I thought about the thousands of meals the Acropolis has served over the years and how many more meals there are to come. With the Kyriakidis family’s dedication to fresh, balanced, local and most importantly, delicious food, there is no doubt that Chattanooga will be enjoying their Greek delights for many more years to come.

The Acropolis Grill, 2213 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 899-5341, acropolisgrill.net

Arts

rich bailey

What Comes After Darkness New poems from Richard Jackson reach beyond what is

R

EADING THE POEMS IN RICHard Jackson’s latest book, Out of Place, is like immersing yourself in a conversation that circles around loss and horror and love and beauty.

It’s the opposite of driving by an accident you can’t look away from. Jackson returns to these painful images again and again, but he’s not just looking at them.

“For me the, idea in a poem is not just to report things but to try to use the poem to get beyond,” says Jackson, who teaches at UT Chattanooga in the writing program he largely founded more than 30 years ago. (Full disclosure: I was one of his students in the early ’80s.)

The Slovenian poet Tomaz Salamun calls him a Martin Scorsese of poetry, “But where Scorsese almost succeeds in his films, then stops, seals and terrifies us, Jackson adds a tender, vulnerable voice that blossoms and transforms us.”

Salamun and Jackson became friends in the place that is the source of many of the book’s darkest images, the former Yugoslavia, where an extraordinarily brutal civil war was fought in Croatia in the 1990s. Jackson went to the country first in 1986 as a Fulbright fellow. He had to leave abruptly because Yugoslavia was in the path of radioactive fallout from the Chernobyl nuclear accident that year in Russia. But he returned with writing students the following year and has had a deep connection ever since.

When the Serbian army began targeting teachers and journalists for assassination, he became involved with the PEN International writers association, campaigning to end the war, raising money to get targeted people out of the country and helping make the world aware of the war by editing and publishing reports of Serbian atrocities. The images he read and saw have haunted him for decades. They feature prominently in his recent books of poetry, along with similar and more COUTURE

SETHI Trunk Show February 13th

recent horrors from Africa, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Syria.

If anything he says, his latest book is not as dark as the previous two or three, the poems “a little more sure of their way of overcoming some of the darkness.”

Jackson has no interest in poems that begin and end with something that’s well understood. He asks himself—and his writing students at UTC and workshops around the country—what is at stake in a poem.

“The poem should always be an act of discovery,” he says. “I think there has to be a way in which you’re given a perception of things, and somehow the poem changes that perception that you began with.”

But there’s no simple path in these poems from pain to transcendence. Despite the darkness, something better usually follows.

A poem called “What Comes Next” follows a series of elegies written for friends who have died. It begins, “There are knots of time so miserable they frighten me.”

After spiraling through the latest massacre in Nigeria, a double murder over a custody fight in the U.S., coffins in a forest, a homeless man playing a broken guitar and Django Reinhardt’s serene guitar virtuosity despite burned and crippled fingers, it ends with these lines: Which brings me back to all that fear, and so much more we never see, but also how much meaning we never guess is in a dot we thought was a star, but turns out to be a galaxy of millions of stars, planets with their own secrets, or the simple way a homeless man struggles with his own

story, waiting like all of us, for what comes next, the way a salmon climbs a waterfall towards what it cannot see but loves.

Jackson’s poems themselves have changed over time. In his first collection, published in 1983, they were short and imagistic. After his initial, pre-war experiences in the former Yugoslavia, they became longer, more linear narratives in response to the stories people there were telling him. But that didn’t feel right, either. Searching for a writing style closer to the way he thinks, he found a more aphoristic style partly inspired by William Blake’s poetry.

He builds his poems from bits of images, ideas, observations, things seen. At some point, an audience begins to form in his imagination, one person or a group that the poem seems to address, and then he writes with them in mind, filling in gaps that he might understand but they would not. The result is a very conversational movement through what might otherwise be impossibly hostile territory, guided by a striking voice that is always moving forward.

“I have this sort of faith that if I make a lot of weird, different observations over the course of time there must be something that holds them together subconsciously. There must be some sort of connection going on back here that I’m not aware of,” he says, tapping the back of his head. “So part of my job in writing is to bring some of this stuff up to the front and then hopefully out to the reader.”

Out of Place’s official publication date is in April, but copies can already be ordered now from Ashland Poetry Press: (419) 289-5336, ask for Terri Hudson.

Eighth & Market, Chattanooga, TN • 267-0901 Hours: 10:00AM - 5:30PM, Monday - Friday Complimentary parking is available at the corner of MLK and Broad Street.

SETHI COUTURE Trunk Show February 13th

FRIDAY • MAY 2ND WITH BLACK STONE CHERRY AND SKINDRED $29 ADVANCE • $32 DAY OF • ON SALE FRIDAY @ 10AM TRACK29.CO FOR MORE INFO AND TICKETS! chattanoogapulse.com • february 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

A “Best Scenic View”

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR Dale Jones

The Odd Couple

Southern Living, Reader’s Choice Awards

THUrsday 2.6 Tai-Chi 2 p.m. Life Care Center of Hixson, 5798 Hixson Home Place (423) 842-0049, lcca.com/hixson Swanky Bottles by Gino Savarino Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga “The Odd Couple” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Dale Jones 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

friday 2.7 for more info call 706.820.2531

SeeRockCity.com

Each Season, New Reason!

For less than the cost of two single admissions to Rock City, you can come back again and again... for FREE!

Sculpture and Drawings

by Bryan Rasmussen 5 p.m. Graffiti, A Hill City Art Joint, 505 Cherokee Blvd., (423) 400-9797, hillcityart.com Opening Reception: “Poster Child” 5:30 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Outdoor Chattanooga’s Camp Chair Cinema 7 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888, outdoorchattanooga.com Lookout Mountain Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/chattanooga

16 • The Pulse • february 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

“Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “The Color Purple” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Dale Jones 7:30, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “Roadkill Confidential” 7:30 p.m. Theater for the New South, Tanner Hill Gallery, 3069 S. Broad St. theaterforthenewsouth.com Wide Open Floor 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Friday Night Improv 7:30 p.m. Humanities Theatre, Chattanooga State, 4301 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-4400, chattanoogastate.edu “The Odd Couple” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com

saturday 2.8 Girls In Charge Entrepreneurship Workshop 10 a.m. Orchard Knob Elementary School, 2000 E. 3rd St., (423) 493-0385 Kids Camp - Elephants Workshop 11 a.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/chattanooga Well Nest LOVE Retreat

Noon. Well Nest, East Ridge. (423) 326-709, wellnestchattanooga.com Live from the Met: “Rusalka” 12:55 p.m. East Ridge 18, 5080 S. Terrace, East Ridge. (423) 855-9652, carmike.com River Gorge Explorer Valentine Sunset Cruise 2 p.m. River Gorge Explorer, 1 Broad St. (423) 262-0695, tnaqua.org Baby It’s Cold Outside Party 5 p.m. The Flying Squirrel, 55 Johnson St. (423) 648-8393, flyingsquirrelbar.com Screening of Silent Film: “For Heaven’s Sake” 5 p.m. EST, 215 Cedar Ave., S. Pitttsburg. (423) 529-0315 “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Save Water, Drink Wine 5:30 p.m. The Barn Nursery, 1801 E. 24th St. Place (423) 698-2276 barnnursery.com Tennessee Valley Railroad Valentine’s Dinner Train Excursions 5:30 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028, tvrail.com Sunset at the Dock Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/Chattanooga Dale Jones 7:30, 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “The Color Purple” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5900 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

“Roadkill Confidential” 7:30 p.m. Theater for the New South, Tanner Hill Gallery, 3069 S. Broad St. theaterforthenewsouth.com Ballroom Dance Class 7:30 p.m. The Ballroom at Hixson, 7001 Middle Valley Rd. (423) 394-6428, theballroomathixson.com “The Odd Couple” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Stand-up Comedy: Patrick Garrity 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St., (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

sunday 2.9 Silk Painting 9 a.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712, townsendatelier.com 14th Annual Tony O’Rear Bowl for Life 11 a.m. BackStage Lounge at Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695, holidaybowlbrainerd.com Parent-Child Valentine’s Painting Class 2 p.m. Spirited Art, 1925 Gunbarrel Rd., Suite 115.

(423) 531-6278, myspiritedart.com “The Odd Couple” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com “Musical Stories: An Evening on the Battery” 3 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR Live from the Met: "Rusalka"

Patrick Garrity

View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org Karen Tarlton’s Venice Workshop 4 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/chattanooga Tennessee Valley Railroad Valentine’s Dinner Train Excursions 5:30 p.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028, tvrail.com Star Gazing: Brown Dwarfs and The Orion Nebula 5:30 p.m. Clarence T. Jones Observatory, 10 Tuxedo Ave. (423) 425-4518, utc.edu/~jonesobs Open Mic Opera: “Divas and Drinks” 6 p.m. The Foundry, Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 Broad St. divasanddrinks.com ”God’s Trombones: Seven Negro Sermons in Verse” 6 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org Dale Jones 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

monday 2.10 Rhythm Ballroom Dance 6 p.m. The Ballroom at Hixson, 7001 Middle Valley Rd. (423) 394-6428, theballroomathixson.com Sunset Lighthouse Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/chattanooga Southside Casual Classics: “Coffee with Mozart”

7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com

tuesday 2.11 YWLAF 5th Annual Odyssey Awards Luncheon 11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 UTC Zumbathon for the American Heart Association 4 p.m. UTC Aquatic and Recreation Center, 601 E. 5th St. Skyuka Hall Speakers Series 6 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, chattlibrary.org Gallery Talk with Rosalind Withers 6 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org Rapid Learning Kayak Roll Practice 7 p.m. Southern Adventist University, 4881 Taylor Circle, Collegedale. (423) 236-2000, southern.edu Paris Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/chattanooga Chevron Valentine Workshop 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/chattanooga “Tall Jalu: A Levitial City of Refuge in Jordan” Archaeology Lecture 7 p.m. Southern Adventist University, 4881 Taylor Circle, Collegedale. (423) 236-2000, southern.edu ”No Exit”

7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4269, tickettracks.com Wine Night with Ben Friberg Jazz Group 8 p.m. The Flying Squirrel, 55 Johnson St. (423) 648-8393, flyingsquirrelbar.com

wednesday 2.12 Live from the Met: “Rusalka” (encore) 6:30 p.m. East Ridge 18, 5080 S. Terrace, East Ridge.

(423) 855-9652, carmike.com Green Pastures Workshop Original by Megan Duncanson 7 p.m. Uptown Art, 2 Cherokee Blvd., Suite 100.

(423) 602-8580, uptownart.com/chattanooga Rhythm Ballroom Dance 8 p.m.The Ballroom at Hixson, 7001 Middle Valley Rd. (423) 394-6428, theballroomathixson.com

ongoing “Southern Spirit” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Mon-Sat, 1 – 5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Un-Scene Chattanooga” 11 a.m. – 6 p.m., Mon-Sat, 1 – 5 p.m. Sun. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. 423) 267-9214, intowngallery.com ”Poster Child: Selections from the 4 Bridges Poster Artists” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. Tues-Sat AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org “Muse of the African American Spirit: A

Celebration of African American Artists” 10 a.m.– 5 p.m. Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat Noon – 5 p.m. Wed, Sun 10 a.m. – 9 p.m. Thurs Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Pictures Tell The Story” 10 a.m, – 5 p.m. Mon-Fri Noon – 4 p.m. Sat Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org “Good for You: Healthy Fun on the Run” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Mon-Sat Noon – 5 p.m. Sun Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Photographic Prints” 8 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. Mon-Fri 8 a.m. – Noon Sat Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop.

(423) 894-7112 “Laurel Nakadate: Strangers and Relations” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Mon-Fri University of the South, 735 University Ave., Sewanee. (931) 598-1000 Rock City Raptors 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. Fri-Sat, 11 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly.

The Little Curiosity Shoppe, 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125, chattanoogaghosttours.co

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

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VALENTINES SAVINGS

Screen

john devore

The Magic of Movie Music

BE READY FOR VALENTINE’S DAY

Chattanooga International Film Music Festival bigger than ever this year

N

OT LONG AGO, I HAD A CONVERSATION WITH A friend about film and music. He suggested an article that focused on how certain songs are forever changed due to their association with film.

For instance, any one who’s seen “Pulp Fiction” has the image of Michael Madsen dancing and singing with the severed ear of a tortured police officer, all to the tune of “Stuck in the Middle with You”

by Stealers Wheels, burned forever into their memory. A song that was originally intended as a comical look at the music business becomes something all the more sinister when used by Quentin Tarantino.

Beyond that, who doesn’t see Wayne and Garth and company headbanging whenever “Bohemian Rhapsody” is heard on KZ106 or imagine Marvin Berry calling his cousin Chuck while Marty McFly tears through “Johnny B. Goode” at the Enchantment under the Sea Dance? These are all short pop tunes that changed their perception by being featured in a small scene. Imagine then, the effect a film score must have on impact of a film. Music and movies are inextricably linked—college courses are taught on how a score enhances a film.

The best and brightest composers usually find work at some time or another creating entire symphonies to accompany even the most banal Hollywood blockbuster. Movies combine all artistic mediums into one massive work of art that can surpass even the most elaborate of stage productions. It’s truly something to be celebrated. Between Feb. 28 and Mar. 2, the Chattanooga Symphony & Opera will once again acknowledge the importance of film in the world of classical music by hosting the Chattanooga International Film Music Festival.

According to festival officials, Alan Silvestri joins the festival’s artistic director, George S. Clinton, for a weekend of seminars with film music composers such as Clinton and Sundance Film Music

“

It looks like winter will end with a blossoming of incredible film events, which is a far cry from what was available just a few years ago.”

Program director Peter Golub, a panel discussion moderated by BMI’s Doreen Ringer Ross, a screening of “Back to the Future” followed by a discussion with Silvestri, as well as open rehearsals and two film music concerts with the CSO. For those unfamiliar with him, Alan Silvestri has scored more than 80 films, including “Back to the Future” and its sequels, “Predator,” “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” “A Night at the Museum,” “Captain America” and “The Avengers.” Silvestri was nominated for both an Academy Award and Golden Globe Award for

“Forrest Gump” and “The Polar Express.” and has won three Grammy Awards for his work on “The Bodyguard,” “Cast Away” and “Polar Express.” He is a titan in the industry, someone that could easy be mentioned alongside John Williams and Danny Elfman as household names in the world of film composition. Of particular note is the year’s first concert. It features one of my favorite Hollywood musicals, “Singin’ in the Rain.” The entire film will be shown, with live accompaniment by the Chattanooga Symphony. It’s an event not just for film fans, but for anyone who loves live music.

For those who are especially interested in the technical side of composition for film, the panels featuring Alan Silvestri, George S. Clinton, and Peter Golub are essential. Each composer will present their own work and talk through their creative processes and the choices needed to create scores that resonate with both the film and the audience.

Later during the festival, each composer will answer questions from the audience in a roundtable discussion of music and film. These educational events are designed with students in mind, as Chattanooga has a wealth of film programs at surrounding higher education institutions. Student tickets for film, composing, and conducting students are available for discounted rates: $50 for all events instead of the usual $189. I would encourage students in other fields to briefly change their major during the month of February.

The Chattanooga International Film Music Festival serves as a precursor to the Chattanooga Film Festival (which is now taking submissions and will soon have tickets available) and what you see in terms of programming is similar to what you’ll find at the CFF in April. The Film Music Festival tickets are available now at www.chattfilmmusic.com. It looks like winter will end with a blossoming of incredible film events, which is a far cry from what was available just a few years ago. Support local film and keep these events happening.

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Free Will Astrology AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Back in 2002, three young men launched Youtube, in part motivated by a banal desire. They were frustrated because they couldn’t find online videos of the notorious incident that occurred during the Superbowl halftime show, when Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction exposed her breast. In response, they created the now-famous website that allows people to share videos. I foresee the possibility of a comparable sequence for you, Aquarius. A seemingly superficial wish or trivial interest could inspire you to come up with a fine new addition to your world.

Pay attention to your whimsical notions.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil.”

That’s what 20th-century author Truman Capote said about his own writing process.

Back in that primitive pre-computer era, he scrawled his words on paper with a pencil and later edited out the extraneous stuff by applying scissors to the manuscript. Judging from your current astrological omenws, Pisces, I surmise you’re in a phase that needs the power of the scissors more than the power of the pencil. What you cut away will markedly enhance the long-term beauty and value of the creation you’re working on.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “You know it’s Saturday when you are wiping off vodka stains from your face with a marshmallow,” testifies the woman who writes the Tumblr blog “French Fries Absinthe Milkshakes.”

I really hope you don’t even come close to having an experience like that this week, Aries. But I’m worried that you will. I sense

rob brezsny that you’re becoming allergic to caution.

You may be subconsciously wishing to shed all decorum and renounce self-control. To be clear, there’s nothing inherently wrong with relaxing your guard. I hope you will indeed give up some of your high-stress vigilance and surrender a bit to life’s sweet chaos. Just please try to find a playful and safe and not-too-insane way to do so.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What is the single best thing you could do to fulfill your number one desire? Is there a skill you should attain? A subject you should study?

A special kind of experience you should seek or a shift in perspective you should initiate? This is a big opportunity, Taurus.

You have an excellent chance to identify the specific action you could take that will lead you to the next stage of your evolution. And if you do manage to figure out exactly what needs to be done, start doing it!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When songwriters make a "slant rhyme," the words they use don't really rhyme, but they sound close enough alike to mimic a rhyme. An example occurs in "The Bad Touch," a tune by the Bloodhound Gang: "You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals / So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel." Technically, "mammals" doesn't rhyme with "channel." I suspect that in the coming week you will have experiences with metaphorical resemblances to slant rhymes. But as long as you don't fuss and fret about the inexactness you encounter, as long as you don't demand that everything be precise and cleaned-up, you will be en-

tertained and educated. Vow to see the socalled imperfections as soulful.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Almost,” writes novelist Joan Bauer. “It’s a big word for me. I feel it everywhere. Almost home.

Almost happy. Almost changed. Almost, but not quite. Not yet. Soon, maybe.” I’m sure you know about that feeing yourself, Cancerian. Sometimes it has seemed like your entire life is composed of thousands of small almosts that add up to one gigantic almost. But I have good news: There is an excellent chance that in the next 14 to 16 weeks you will graduate from the endless and omnipresent almost; you will rise up and snatch a bold measure of completeness from out of the ever-shifting flow. And it all kicks into high gear now.

“Out on the road today / I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac,” Henley sings wistfully near the end of the tune. He’s dismayed by the sight of the Grateful Dead’s logo, an ultimate hippie symbol, displayed on a luxury car driven by snooty rich kids. Almost 20 years later, the band The Ataris covered “The Boys of Summer,” but changed the lyric to “Out on the road today / I saw a Black Flag sticker on a Cadillac.” It conveyed the same mournful contempt, but this time invoking the iconic punk band Black Flag. I offer this tale to you, Virgo, as an encouragement to update the way you think about your life’s mythic quest…to modernize your old storylines…to refresh and refurbish the references you invoke to tell people about who you are.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): One of the chapter titles in my most recent book is this: “Ever since I learned to see three sides to every story, I’m finding much better stories.” I’m recommending that you find a way to use this perspective as your own in the coming weeks, Leo. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it’s crucial that you not get stuck in an oppositional mode. It would be both wrong and debilitating to believe that you must choose between one of two conflicting options. With that in mind, I will introduce you to a word you may not know: “trilemma.” It transcends a mere dilemma because it contains a third alternative.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Food aficionado Michael Pollan says that Americans “worry more about food and derive less pleasure from eating” than people in other countries. If you ask them what their association is with “chocolate cake,” they typically say “guilt.” By contrast, the French are likely to respond to the same question with “celebration.” From an astrological perspective, I think it’s appropriate for you to be more like the French than the Americans in the coming weeks—not just in your attitude toward delicious desserts, but in regards to every opportunity for pleasure.

This is one of those times when you have a license to guiltlessly explore the heights and depths of bliss.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1984, Don Henley’s song “The Boys of Summer” reached the top of the Billboard charts.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the Inuktitut language spoken among the Eastern Canadian Inuit, the word for “simplicity”

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20 • The Pulse • february 6-12, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

is katujjiqatigiittiarnirlu. This amusing fact reminds me of a certain situation in your life. Your quest to get back to basics and reconnect with your core sources is turning out to be rather complicated. If you hope to invoke all of the pure, humble clarity you need, you will have to call on some sophisticated and ingenious magic.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “What is the purpose of the giant sequoia tree?” asked environmentalist Edward Abbey.

His answer: “The purpose of the giant sequoia tree is to provide shade for the tiny titmouse.” I suggest you meditate on all the ways you can apply that wisdom as a metaphor to your own issues. For example: What monumental part of your own life might be of service to a small, fragile part?

What major accomplishment of yours can provide strength and protection to a ripening potential that’s underappreciated by others?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves,” wrote the poet Federico García Lorca. I urge you to make sure you are not inflicting that abuse on yourself in the coming weeks, Capricorn. It’s always dangerous to be out of touch with or secretive about your holy passions, but it’s especially risky these days. I’m not necessarily saying you should rent a megaphone and shout news of your yearnings in the crowded streets.

In fact, it’s better if you are discriminating about whom you tell. The most important thing is to not be hiding anything from yourself about what moves you the most.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“Supplemental Outcome” --well, good for you.

SATURDAY FEB. 22 | 8 PM PURCHASE TICKETS 423-267-0968 huntermuseum.org ADVANCE TICKETS $40 for Avant-Art members $50 for non-Avant-Art members DAY OF EVENT $60 @ the door (based on availability) Dress is “Gallery Casual” FOR MORE INFO

Across 1 “___ have what she’s having” (line from “When Harry Met Sally...”)

4 Computer science pioneer Turing 8 Unlikely hero 14 Romantic lead-in 15 Oscar Robertson’s nickname, with “The” 16 Audrey Tautou movie 17 Roasted on a skewer 19 Short-tempered 20 Win 21 “___ It Up” (Bob Marley classic) 22 Needing stitches 25 Built onto the house, maybe 30 Genre for B.B. King 32 Space or nautical prefix 33 Parkay product 34 Refuses to admit 36 Bust ___ (laugh really hard) 38 He followed Peyton as Super Bowl MVP

39 10 years ago 42 Neely of hockey 44 Sidekicks 45 Exactly so 48 “Now we’re in for it!”

50 Tells a completely different story?

52 Stick or gel alternative 53 Did some birthday party work 56 Give a hoot 57 “Dirty Jobs” host Mike 58 “Aladdin” parrot 60 Rocky conclusion?

63 What the theme entries are full of 67 Stagecraft 68 Don Juan’s mother 69 Homer’s dad 70 Low poker pair 71 Site of the Taj Mahal 72 “Don’t think so” Down 1 Cartridge filler 2 “To Kill a Mockingbird” author Harper

3 Arced toss 4 Inspiration for Broadway’s “Mamma Mia!” 5 Scales in the sky 6 “To do today” list 7 Bid silently 8 Make people wonder 9 “Labor ___ vincit” (Oklahoma’s motto) 10 Oddball 11 Yodeling setting 12 Tatter 13 “L.A. Law” actress Susan 18 Epic poem with 9,896 lines 21 Coat fabric 22 Unknown, on a sched.

23 Cape-waving cheer 24 Go haywire 26 Lowest point on Earth’s surface 27 Record label of Cee Lo Green 28 Toon collectible 29 Japanese carp 31 Filter through slowly

35 Imps 37 New Mexico arts mecca 40 “Curiouser and curiouser!” utterer 41 Company behind “Mega Man” and “Street Fighter” 42 Rookie reporter 43 You might say it when you get it 46 Stirrup’s spot 47 Needle hole 49 Jazz legend Hancock 51 Aspen activity 54 Lorna of literature and cookies 55 Picky ___ 59 Strip in the Middle East 60 Echolocation user 61 Berlin wail 62 8 1/2” x 11” size, briefly 63 By means of 64 Mr. McKellen 65 Thunder’s org.

66 Use thread

PARTY IN THE BASEMENT OF THE HUNTER MUSEUM! Buy tickets now for Chattanooga’s most exciting art-focused event.

Enjoy great food, beverages, entertainment and a silent auction of art geared towards the new collector.

Smash & Grab A suggested donation of $25 gets you entered into the Smash & Grab drawing. Names will be drawn throughout the night. Attendees whose tickets are drawn have 30 seconds to enter the special Smash & Grab gallery and grab a work of art to add to their personal collections. Increase your odds of winning with more chances! Receive five chances with a $100 donation.

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Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0661 chattanoogapulse.com • february 6-12, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

On the Beat

alex teach

Is That A Pistol In Your Pocket?

Officer Alex sets us straight on concealed carry

So I made a new friend yesterday. By friend, I mean a complete asshole that threatened to fistfight over a disagreement regarding the rules for concealed carry of handguns in the state of Tennessee—of all things.

What brought this about is an interesting and thought-provoking story that I felt strongly about sharing with you because not only does it make one think, it also educates one on a very serious subject (legal weapon carry in this state). That, and I also find dumbasses to be highly entertaining more often than not, and this guy definitely made the cut.

A cop had made a remark to someone carrying a gun on their hip in public implying that it was overkill, or at least unnecessary, unless they had enemies or a mountain of money. The cop, after all, had never had to use his own gun the entire course of his career, so why should some “regular guy” need one?

The person in question let a moment pass, and very politely pointed to his two young children and said “That’s why I need it. For

“

Real life always has been, and always will be, better than cable television. No one believes me.”

them.”

Personally, I thought that was a hell of an answer and I wholeheartedly agreed. By the cop’s logic, if you’ve never been in a wreck before, why should you wear a seatbelt? If you don’t have the flu yet, why should you get a vaccination against it? As far as smart things to say go, that just wasn’t one of them. It happens.

And speaking as a guy who has had to carry a pistol every day since Clinton’s first term, it was nice to have a new spin on an old rule.

Another gentleman, however, took great umbrage at this and instead suggested the response should have been to tell the cop, “It was none of his business, be-

cause technically it’s not and technically you don’t have to answer him.” He felt the officer was sticking his nose into the guy’s personal life where it just didn’t belong.

Now, I didn’t know the guy but he was clearly stupid, and I feel that human beings that are not stupid have somewhat of an obligation to help the ones that are.

I’m like that: A complete “helper”. I’ve been stupid before, and smart people helped me, so this is kind of like paying it forward.

“Relax,” I told him. I explained to him that putting a gun on your hip and then getting defensive when asked about it (not to mention being insulting) sounds like someone is asking for a fight. I mean, really, my judgment is often clouded by being a frequent smartass, but does that sounds so wrong? I also threw in the words, “For what it’s worth, you actually DO have to show a permit to carry if requested by an officer, so you may want to be careful when getting defensive about the pistol is asking you about.” That’s it. My sin, verbatim.

Sadly, this apparently made me a smartass and the guy suggested we “go toe to toe,” as I believe he put it, because I was “jaw jacking.”

The corners of my mouth raced my eyebrows to see which could get higher on my face first, and I laughed while putting my weight on the foot that was slightly behind the other.

In the space of 90 seconds I was astounded at the shallowness of the unnamed initial cop, the profundity of the response, and now the blithering idiocy of this suggested response all capped off with a threat to fight over it.

And to beat it all, the guy giving the bad advice didn’t even have a permit to carry or know how to get one. Real life always has been, and always will be, better than cable television. No one believes me.

For the educational component of this week’s feature, Tennessee’s handgun carry permits are recognized in 26 other states.

You can carry concealed or open (something most don’t know, but concealment is encouraged to avoid episodes like the one

above), you can’t carry in court or on school grounds, but you can carry in a bar or restaurant so long as it’s not posted to not do so—and so long as you don’t have a drink. Not a single one, mind you. (Leaving it locked in your car is also legal and appropriate at these times. Not that I would know.) There are more rules, but not many and they’ll teach you in that mandated class, I promise.

And as far as the Marshall Mathers wannabe I spoke of above?

For his educational component I’d recommend lithium, Zyprexa, or a permanently mounted football helmet. (A Broncos helmet specifically, after last Sunday.)

We’re all smarter now. Enjoy.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www. facebook.com/alexteach

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ls. Rates and services may vary by location. Not all Massage Envy locations are licensed to offer facial services. Check with r see MassageEnvy.com. Each locations is independently owned and operated. ©2013 Massage Envy Franchising, LLC.

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