The Pulse 11.21 » May 22, 2014

SHINING MOON | CHEKHOV'S "THREE SISTERS" | GO GO GODZILLA

The Pulse CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

MAY 22, 2014

the overheating planet how climate change denialists are making things worse. much worse.

2 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

MAY

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BEGINNINGS: Battening down the political hatches... Smell the windows

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors David Traver Adolphus • Rich Bailey Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Janis Hashe • Matt Jones Brian King • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib Randall Simpson • Alex Teach

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DENIALISM HEATS UP

Continuing to deny what is right in front of your eyes is dangerous

By Randall Simpson

ARTS: Chekhov’s “Three Sisters” is a window on the Russian soul

RECORD REVIEWS: Neil Young writes a letter home

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DIVERSIONS FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD

Voices

A SHINING MOON

DAVID ADOLPHUS: The experimental era for cars could be—should be—a model for invention today

Free-jazz duo The Moon will light up Barking Legs

By Ernie Paik

IT’S YOUR TURN TO TAKE THE STAGE...

TECHNOLOGY: Hackanooga brings code ninjas and community builders together

SCREEN: Godzillla is back and so is the welcome corn

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THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching.

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VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 21

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ALEX TEACH: Officer Alex gives a career criminal some worthwhile advice

wedding photos. fashion spreads. the Historic TIVOLI THEATRE IS Available for your PHOTO SHOOT. CALL (423) 757-5156. chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

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Batten Down The Political Hatches While the calendar may claim it is still May of 2014, one would think that the 2016 race for the White House is already underway. It’s just about impossible to turn on a cable news station, read a newspaper, magazine or general interest website, or even engage in friendly bar conversation without someone talking about who is, will, should or should not be the next president.

“

It's still a long ways away before we really have to pay attention.

Or is it?.”

We won’t actually go to the polls to select a president until November 8, 2016. Which, for those keeping track, is 901 days from the day this issue of The Pulse is distributed.

About six or so months prior to that, we’ll have to contend with the main party primaries, but even so, it’s still a long ways away before we really have to pay attention.

Or is it?

Generally speaking, Tennessee

and Georgia haven’t really had an impact on a presidential race since about 2000 (if Al Gore had been able to win his home state, he would have been president). And while Georgia has been trending a bit more blue, both states (and most of the Deep South) are still very much rock-solid Republican strongholds when it comes to presidential elections.

Where we do come into play, GARY POOLE though, and strongly at that, is in the party primaries. One only has to think back to the most recent campaign season to remember when nearly every Republican candidate of note made mulitple visits to both the Volunteer and the Peach states.

So why are we so important? While no major candidate has yet formally announced, that hasn’t stopped a dozen of so hopefuls to already begin fundraising and agressively hitting the speaking circuit. And on the GOP side, with the Republican National Committee severely curtailing the number of televised debates, the need to “press the flesh” will make it more likely that even cities the size of Chattanooga will have a chance to met some (if not all) of the candidates.

While it may seem a bit ludicrous to be thinking about such things well over two years in advance, every politician knows that you

Views

4 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

can never get started campaiging (and raising money) soon enough. And simply because one candidate may be seen now as being “inevitable”, simply lookat the 2008 campaign when no one gave the junior senator from Illinois a chance against the “inevitable” Hillary Clinton to see how the “inevitable” can quickly change.

We still have some breathing room before the true political madness begins. Some. Once we get through the upcoming midterm elections, expect to see about one (maybe two) days of post-election analysis and then all eyes and ears will be focused on one thing only: who gets the keys to the Oval Office come January 20, 2017.

So, for now, relax. Don’t stress about names such as Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, Chris Christie, Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Mike Huckabee, Rick Perry, Paul Ryan, Rick Santorum, Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Howard Dean or anyone else, for that matter.

You’ll have plenty of time later.

Over 900 days, in fact.

EdiToon

by Rick Baldwin

Stop and Smell the Windows Most of us just walk past an abandoned store, with its dark windows and lifeless appearance. But a window filled with a colorful, interactive display captures our attention, makes us stop for a few minutes and watch.

Seeking a new look for downtown neighborhood City Center, River City Company is accepting proposals from local artists, makers, technologists and creative thinkers to commission and install an interactive display for 30-40 empty storefront windows.

The project, Open Spaces, is designed to “positively change the experience of the district, improve the public realm, engage the passerby and promote walkability”, according to River City.

Displays will cover three city blocks from

IN THIS ISSUE

John DeVore Film writer John DeVore has spent a significant portion of his life in dark theaters. From an early age, he was drawn to strong storytelling brought to life through the magic of the silver screen.

With degrees in both literature and education, John has keen

Thu, May 22 • 7:15 PM

6th St. to 8th St. and Broad St. to Market St. Organizers are looking for proposals that are innovative and engaging. River City Company will provide each individual or group with a budget for tech, media, engineering, maker and display art windows.

Proposals are due by July 2. Those accepted will be announced at the end of July. River City will host an event in October to debut the window displays.

In addition to the new displays, a bridge connecting the Southside and Riverfront will be built for people to move about the area.

For more information about the project, including rules and submission procedures, visit openspaceschattanooga.com — Madeline Chambliss

vs. Mississippi Braves

Fri, May 23 • 7:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves Fireworks!

Sat, May 24 • 7:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves Puzzle Giveaway

Sun, May 25 • 6:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves Baseball Giveaway & Fireworks!

Alex Teach insight into critical theory and a genuine desire to educate audiences on the finer points of film appreciation. His favorite films transcend genre—quality storytelling and respect for the intelligence of the audience will win him over every time.

When not watching and writing about film, John spends his time writing his own stories and exposing his children to the wonders of movie magic.

Our longtime police columnist, Officer Alex Teach, is a California native and a 20- year veteran police officer. He's a street cop who found a cathartic outlet for rampant cynicism in the form of writing. “I have a front-row seat to the most disturbing show on earth,” says

Teach. “Nightmares, like The Pulse, are free. Both should be shared with everyone.” His columns have attracted the attention of mayors and U.S. senators, though only when readers are attempting to have him fired. Officer Teach is also an avid bicyclist and passionate recreational boater, whose likes include short walks, rum, and volunteering at the Boehm Birth Defects Center. chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 5

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6 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Failure to Fail The experimental era for cars could be—should be—a model for invention today

“

The capacity for creativity hasn’t been lost; that’s obvious from the responses to demands for higher fuel economy.”

David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old AND new cars. He welcomes the inevitable and probably richly deserved kvetching about Airbag and anything else on Twitter as @proscriptus.

top of layer of failure—an E.M.F. Henry Ford, Henry Leland plant will be in an old Briggs De(Cadillac, Lincoln), Billy Durant troiter factory, which Studebaker (General Motors) and the other then sold to REO, then acquired winners of the competition to

by Willys and later used to stamp build a successful car company Chrysler Imperial bodies. Henry are huge figures in the history Ford II’s Renaissance Center beof the American automobile incame GM’s white elephant and dustry, but in their way, they’re has under its foundations the facfreaks: They succeeded where tories of half-a-dozen makes. almost no one else did.

Failure wasn’t expected a cenSeveral years ago, I wrote a tury ago; after all, investors threw story about the St. Louis, a car millions of dolnamed after the lars at manucity, and learned facturers. But it was one of no one was surabout 100 makes prised when a based there. In company went fact, almost any DAVID TRAVER under, as that’s town with an ADOLPHUS what practically industrial base all of them did. probably had a Often a carmaker would only car built there, from the Angus build a few weird prototypes or, in Nelson, Nebraska; to the Nyat best, manage a year or two of berg in Chattanooga as well as the production. Then the promoters, Chattanooga truck (and probably managers, financiers and engimore I don’t know about). neers would pop up again later Pick any nearest town of 20,000 that year under a new name with or more people—odds are that an their next big idea, and try again. entire company was born, lived For an early automotive pioneer, and died there. There have been failure was always an option. well over 2,000 car companies in When you’re willing to fail, the last 120 years. In one of the there are no limits to what you big manufacturing centers like can consider, and the products of Detroit, if you look at where a the era before the Depression refactory was, you’ll find layer on

Air Bag

flect this: Rotating reciprocating engines? Adams-Farwell gave it a shot. Driving the front wheels directly by the crankshaft? Walter Christie raced ’em that way.

Engines burned oil, kerosene, alcohol, coal gas and anything else you could light on fire or make explode. Knight’s valveless, Itala’s rotary valve and Franklin’s valve-and-a-half engines all ran.

In hindsight, some were obviously doomed, but a crazy idea and a great idea can both look good when they first appear. This spirit also yielded Pilain’s 1911 internally expanding hydraulic front-wheel brakes, Levassor’s 1903 mechanical fuel injection, Fouillaron’s continuously variable belt drive (and diagonal engine) and Owen Magnetic’s electromagnetic automatic transmission, all before 1925.

Those were just as odd in their day as B-L-M’s (of Brooklyn) cast-iron clutch facing or WilsonPilcher’s engine pivots. Then again, the ’04 Wilson-Pilcher’s engines were horizontally opposed 2.7-liter fours and 4.0-liter sixes (with a four speed), arrangements that Porsche fans recognize a century later.

That isn’t to say people expected to fail; aside from a few scam artists, everyone had some plan. But inside, somewhere, many must have known that their chances were slim. Did William Mazzei really think his amphibious Hydromotor was the next big thing? Was Fageol actually going

to sell a Hall-Scott aero-engined car for $17,000? Neither did, yet many persevered and the result was a culture of innovation and experimentation the likes of which America hasn’t seen again outside Silicon Valley.

Today, not only every car but also their every option must succeed. Without accepting failure, you can’t have true originality. As a result, we’ve suffered through a generation of tepid, similar cars, where the distinguishing features are now infotainment systems.

The capacity for creativity hasn’t been lost; that’s obvious from the responses to demands for higher fuel economy, such as amazingly efficient turbo fourand six-cylinder engines producing V-8 power; the transmissions behind them; and battery-assist drivetrains. But these are reactions—they’re fixing a problem, not speculating about the future.

I’m not sure we should subsidize failure, but there has to be room for it. Engineers and designers have to be not only encouraged to take risks, but executives need to bring them to market knowing they’ll get another chance.

When money people run car companies, the results are disastrous, as when Cerberus Capital Management luridly demonstrated with Chrysler. Inventors know that there’s no straight path to success, and sometimes it’s the losers that take us to the most interesting places.

5348 Highway 153 at Hixson Pike • Chattanooga • www.MarshalMizeFord.com chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 7

Beyond Denial Into Doom Continuing to deny what is right in front of our eyes will spell disaster

By Randall Simpson

Recently, residents of San Diego faced the frightening possibility of a good portion of their city going up in smoke. California’s governor, Jerry Brown, wasted no time in laying blame for the destructive fires right at the foot of the most ridiculously controversial topic in political circles: global climate change.

8 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Why is it “ridiculous”? Because a sad minority of politicians, almost all of them of a “conservative” nature, flat-out choose to ignore conclusive scientific proof and consensus and continue to cling to their patently—and dangerously false—beliefs that “scientists are just making it all up” for some inexplicable reason.

“It is true that there is virtually no Republican who accepts the science that virtually is unanimous,” Gov. Brown said on ABC’s This Week right after the fires were finally brought under control.

“There is no scientific question, there is just political denial for various reasons best known to those people who are in denial.”

Considering the vast amount of research that has been centered on global climate change during the past quarter century, along with the fact that over 98 percent of all papers published in peer-reviewed scientific journals confirm the basic facts of global climate change, it boggles the mind that there is a very loud (and very effective) group of denialists who have hijacked the U.S. government with faux science and are standing in the way of doing something—anything—to help ameliorate the damage.

The most depressing conclusion to come out of the latest climate reports is that we’ve already passed the “tipping point” of being able to prevent long-term damage from global warming. Instead, we now are faced with changes that are beyond our ability to prevent. The best we can do is lessen the impact...and that’s provided governments and private businesses around the world actually agree to do anything.

“But what can I do about it?” you may be asking yourself.

The honest answer is nothing—unless you are willing to take the time and effort to change the national conversation from denial to acceptance, from reaction to proaction. This can be as simple as writing your congressman or posting on Facebook, on up to joining like-minded groups who are reaching out to private businesses to do what the climate-change deniers in government are unwilling to do.

Which is where we can help, with a bit of that old fashioned “science” and “facts”, the very things that either get ignored or outright demonized by the denialists. Thanks to the hardworking folks at PBS’ excellent news program “Moyers & Company”, we’re able to give you some facts to help clean up the most common misconceptions (or outright lies) spread by the climate change denialists.

• The first denial is all too common: “The Earth has actually cooled down since 1998.” This claim, often backed up by misleading charts and diagrams that confuse weather with climate (a distinction that nearly all denialists are incapable of understanding), was popularized by a British man by the name of Christopher Monckton.

“

There is no scientific question, there is just political denial for various reasons best known to those people who are in denial.”

Monckton very carefully cherry-picked data to support his argument, and conveniently left out all data that he did not agree with. To whit, he looked for the warmest day of the warmest year in the 20th Century and then tried to use that as a baseline.

There’s also the slight problem that he claimed to be a member of the House of Lords when in fact he was not. It took a cease-and-desist order from Parliament to finally get him to stop. Not what one would consider a very honest person.

• The second denial uses the classic, “We doubt anyone will really check on the agency we’re criticizing” method of misdirection. Denialists love to share how the projected rates of global warming from the Intergovernmental Panel on

Climate Change (IPCC) did not, in fact, match up. The first IPCC model projected the planetary temperature would increase at a rate of 3.5 degrees Celsius per century, when in fact the current readings show a warming rate of 1.4 degrees.

To most denialists, this is their favorite “gotcha!” moment, as if this somehow disproves all the science. The problem here is the misunderstanding between “projection” and “prediction”.

The IPCC tries to correlate a massive amount of data from all over the world to create a baseline projection, which is the scientific version of the (very) “educated guess”. It is not a prediction, as the IPCC does not employ psychics or soothsayers.

chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 9

Furthermore, skeptics are trying to force very shortterm change data from the past decade or so into a centurylong model. That would be the equivalent of using the rainiest day of one year to “disprove” a decade-long projection on drought. It’s basically the same tactic Monckton uses, and about as honest.

• The third rung on the ladder of denial is an attack on temperature readings. Anthony Watts, a former television weatherman and very vocal denialist for the Heartland Institute, is the most prominent source cited for this claim.

“

The best we can do is lessen the impact...and that’s provided governments and private businessess around the world actually agree to do anything.”

Back in 2009, he claimed that 90 percent of all weather stations that are relied upon to monitor temperature were placed in areas that artificially influenced their readings. He further claimed that researchers placed these stations next to heat sources. He was essentially trying to convince people that scientists are stupid.

The main problem with Watts’ claim (aside from the fact that scientists are not stupid) is that it is completely and utterly false. Check the peer-reviewed literature: Temperature readings are coming from all over the planet, urban areas, suburban areas, rural areas, weather balloons, satellite measurements and sea and ocean readings.

When all the data is collected and analyzed, the few outliers (in both direc10 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

tions) are removed to reach a common deduction. And that deduction is clear: The planet is warming up and continuing to warm up.

Blaming the thermometer for the fever doesn’t help the patient.

• Fourth on the list of the most common claims of the denialists is the one most often heard in the right-wing media: “There is no scientific consensus!”

Wrong.

In fact, there is such an overwhelming consensus that to claim otherwise moves directly into the realm of willful ignorance or even outright dishonesty.

The real number is 97 percent. That’s the percentage of working climate scientists who believe that human activities are a primary contributing factor causing the Earth to warm. Only three percent of climatologists don’t agree with the scientific consensus. To put this in perspective, eight percent of Americans still believe Elvis is alive.

When you have nearly three times as many people believing the King of Rock-N-Roll is still alive and (reasonably) well than believe climate change is a myth, you have the very antithesis of “no consensus”.

“But what about all those lists signed by tens of thousands of dissenting climatologists I’ve seen on the Internet?” you ask. What about those, indeed?

Let’s start with the key part of the question: “...on the Internet.” Because as everyone knows, there is no misleading or nonfactual information posted on the Internet. Oh, wait, sorry...the complete opposite is true. The Internet may well be one of the single greatest inventions in human history, ranking right up there with the wheel, sliced bread and the electric guitar, but it is also the home of every crackpot and snake-oil salesman in existence.

The most famous of the “dissension lists” is the Oregon Petition, created by chemist Art Robinson. In between his full-time job marketing homeschooling kits to help parents combat “socialism in the public schools,” Robinson also published a petition that contained what he claimed were more than 31,000 signatures of American scien-

tists who opposed the climate change consensus “based on claims published in peer reviewed journals.”

That’s an awful lot of scientists, and it would be an impressive counter argument except for one tiny little detail: Anyone could sign the petition. And by anyone, I mean such scientific notables as Posh Spice and Luke Skywalker. Not to disparage Victoria Beckham, who after all may well by very knowledgeable on climatology, but she is not an “American scientist”. Heck, Luke Skywalker isn’t even from this planet. Or galaxy, for that matter.

The hardest part of perusing the list of signatories is trying to find anyone who actually is a working climate scientist. There are mechanical engineers, biochemists, metallurgists, various other types of engineers and people with college degrees in scientific fields.

What is missing is a single working climate scientist who has been published in peer-reviewed journal.

Not all denialists rely on outright chicanery. Some are honest (statistically speaking, there have to be a few at least), just misinformed, such as physicist Henrik Svensmark of the Danish National Space Institute in Copenhagen. He’s been publishing papers for more than a decade that claim the rate of global warming is due to increased solar activity, not because of mankind.

It should be noted he is not denying the existence of global warming (which far too many denialists do), just its root cause.

So, is he right? The simple answer is no, and that’s because of science. The entire point of the scientific method is to observe and duplicate. If your observations do not match with others, or your results cannot be duplicated, there is something wrong with your data and/or theory. Solar observations of coronal and surface activity show no signs of increased output towards the Earth (rather less, in fact). In addition, temperature observations of our own atmosphere show that while the lower atmosphere is heating up, the upper atmosphere is actually cooling, which would not be the case if the sun was

heating up. In fact, such observations support the consensus that the observed rate of planetary warming is due to increased greenhouse gases.

We could go on. And on and on and on. For every claim put forth by a climate change denialist, there is overwhelming evidence to disprove it. In researching this article, I wasn’t able to find a single claim that held up. Not one. And yet, according to the most recent survey by the Yale Project on Climate Change Communication, 23 percent of Americans do not believe in climate change.

“

We are living on the slopes of Mount Vesuvius and the warning signs are clear.

Yet we, as a nation, refuse to do anything about it.”

More disturbingly, that number has increased by seven percent since April of 2013. Even more worrisome, the majority of Republican lawmakers in Congress also do not believe (or claim not to) and have blocked every legislative attempt to address the problem.

We are living on the slopes of Mount Vesuvius and the warning signs are clear. Yet we, as a nation, refuse to do anything about it. So who will really be to blame when our coasts are flooded, when our cities are devastated by ever-stronger storms and fires, when ever-larger portions of our planet are rendered inhabitable? It’s easy to blame the denialists, but if you don’t do anything to change the tide of history, the answer is as close as your bathroom mirror.

Can you really live with that? The clock is ticking. And it’s getting warmer . chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

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3658 Ringgold Road East Ridge, TN • 423.867.1351 12 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Civic Hacking at Hackanooga Hackanooga brings code ninjas and community builders together The closer you look at Chattanooga’s tech-entrepreneurial ecosystem, the more intertwined the pieces become. Which is actually just like a real ecosystem, in which multiple species depend on each other’s existence in a fabulously intricate web, sometimes eating each other or finding life after death as organic fertilizer, sometimes subtly making life possible for another species just by going about their lives.

When these threads of conRICH nection are teased into a story, it sounds like a Rube Goldberg device—a cartoon contraption where something simple starts an absurd chain reaction of improbable mechanical events—but in practice it all just fits into place.

Which brings us to Hackanooga, a weekend marathon happening May 31-June 1 that will deploy a few dozen of Chattanooga’s finest hackers, supported by an infrastructure of caffeine, snacks, yoga, chair massages and—oh, yeah— Chattanooga’s Gig Internet to develop educational and workforce development software projects.

The first Hackanooga in 2012

was met with a few cries of—I’m paraphrasing—”Hackers here?

In River City? Are our passwords safe?” But this hackathon is civic hacking: geeks with wicked skilz who do this stuff for a legal living giving up a weekend to help create community projects.

“My favorite definition of a hackathon is from an article entitled ‘WTF is a Hackathon?’ by David Fontenot,” says Kelly McCarthy, of Easy Designs, Hackanooga’s presenting sponsor. “BaBAILEY sically a hackathon is an event where ‘people come together and use technology to transform ideas into reality,’ which I wish I would’ve thought of because it’s beautiful and broad enough to cover nearly every hackathon, including Hackanooga.”

After 2012, Hackanooga skipped a year, and Open Chattanooga organized a hackathon for 2013’s first National Day of Civic Hacking. Now Hackanooga and Open Chattanooga have joined forces. This year’s Hackanooga— presented by Easy Designs in partnership with the Enterprise Center, Open Chattanooga and

Technology

Mozilla—is the coordinating point for a crazy quilt of projects.

Organizers have positioned Hackanooga to coordinate with 48 Hour Launch—CoLab’s business plan hackathon held last March, which also focused on education and workforce development—and the Public Education Foundation’s Teacherpreneur program, an idea incubator for teachers that has begun brainstorming in preparation for its own 48-hour hackathon in August.

“We set it up so some of the folks who were at 48 Hour Launch can continue their work at Hackanooga and potentially gain more support, gain more folks to work on things,” says McCarthy. “And if they didn’t apply for the first round of the Mozilla grant, they can apply for the second round, which is shortly after.”

Hackanooga also dovetails with the Mozilla Gigabit Community Fund, a $90,000 seed fund to support pilot projects that make use of gigabit technology. Mozilla, the company responsible for the Firefox web browser, supported the first Hackanooga through a similar nationwide funding competition. Several Hackanooga projects applied for that grant, and two—engage3D and Big Blue button—received funding.

This edition of Hackanooga occurs in the middle of a new funding competition focused exclusively on Chattanooga and Kansas

“

Geeks with wicked skilz who do this stuff for a legal living give up a weekend to help create community projects.”

City, the two American cities with gigabit Internet. The first round of grants was awarded in April, and Mozilla is accepting applications for a second round that will be announced in July.

“Our goal is to maximize the impact of our collective efforts to benefit Chattanooga’s students and workforce,” says McCarthy.

“If Hackanooga can supply the environment (and caffeine) that fuels even one imaginative team to positively impact our community, then we’ve accomplished something amazing.”

McCarthy expects teams from both 48 Hour Launch and the Teacherpreneur program, but won’t know for sure who will be there until they show up. Participants may have a lot of development work already under their belts, or they may be starting from

scratch.

“We literally had some teams at the last event—and I expect that we’ll have it this year as well— that started with one person with an idea who had no code, no nothing, and needed help, knowledge, data sets,” says McCarthy.

Hackanooga began, says McCarthy, as a response to Chattanooga’s profusion of businessbuilding events, like 48 Hour Launch, Will This Float?, Gig Tank and others. Participating in those events, she saw a need for something focused more on making “real-world functional things” rather than developing a business plan.

“Some people, that’s just not really their thing,” she says.

“They’re like, ‘I want to build something just for the good of the community. I don’t want to have a company, I don’t want to make it into a business.’”

But don’t make the mistake of thinking Hackanooga is all about writing software code, she says.

“You don’t have to know how to code,” she says. “The best hackathons are when all these different people from different areas with different skill sets come together and work on these projects.”

Hackanooga’s demo presentation of the weekend’s work on Sunday, June 1 is open to the public. For more information or to register as a participant (by May 23), visit hackanooga.com.

Learning Working giving This is the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers Local 175.

Connecting Chattanooga for more than 100 years.

chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

The Dirty Guv’nahs

CITY SCENE

The Moon Shines in the Chattanooga Sky

Rooting Out the Best LaFayette’s the place to be this Friday and Saturday Cherokee Farms in LaFayette is getting ready to rock. The 2014 Roots Fest puts the groove down this weekend, May 23-25, and this year’s lineup includes more than 30 local and regional musical performances set to satisfy any and all music tastes.

Check out a few of the headliners, for example. Honey Island Swamp Band plays an interesting take on jazz that’s been labeled “Bayou Americana”. Knoxville’s own The Dirty Guv’nahs is another band with Americana influences, but with an emphasis on songwriting.

Music Collection Magazine said the Guv’nahs, “don’t just play music, they capture the human experience through song.” Nashville’s Machines are People Too will rock the farm with their unique

sound of synth pop, and Chattanooga’s Strung Like a Horse will show us what gypsy-punk-garage-grass is all about.

You want bonfires, face and body painting, a waterslide and slip ‘n slide, exploring art, vendors, plus a children’s tent and free admission for children under 12? Bring the whole family!

Weekend passes start at just $45, and with the farm being a mere 23 miles from Chattanooga, you don’t have to travel very far to get back to your roots.

— Jake Bacon Roots Fest Cherokee Farms 2035 Old Mineral Springs Rd. LaFayette, Ga. (423) 645-9699 roots-fest.com

THU5.22

frI5.23

SAT5.24

JAMMING JAZZ

BROTHERS IN ROCK

FREE SHOWCASE

Jazz Thursdays

Jeff the Brotherhood

Katy Tiz

With the success of the recent Jazzanooga festivities around town, The Meeting Place has launched a weekly series of jazz shows for fans of the quintessential American art form.

6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1274 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com

Brothers Jake and Jamin Orrall have been playing together since they were little kids and incorporate a DIY ethos in everything they do, including their raucous live shows. With Glowing Bordis and GPG 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

Combining the "girl power" attitude of the Spice Girls with the modern stance of Kesha, U.K. singer Katy Tiz broke through in 2013 with the dance-pop hit "Red Cup." Come out for a free showcase performance.

6 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

14 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

T

HE BROOKLYN GUITAR/DRUMS FREE-JAZZ DUO The Moon has been distinguishing itself in the crowded New York jazz scene and garnering critical acclaim for its intense and raucous, yet articulate performances and charged, inspired recordings, including its latest album on 577 Records, Good and Evil.

Music ERNIE PAIK

“

If by the end of the concert everybody in the room comes together to some sort of understanding, that feels good to me.”

The duo fuels its primal, adventurous sonic assault with both eclectic musical sources, like late-’60s psychedelia and 20th century classical music, and an instinctive sixth sense.

It breaks free from the often-insular NYC environment, eager to travel the nation and cross oceans in order to explore both externally and internally, including a recent trip to Morocco to collaborate with local musicians.

Guitarist Adam Caine and drummer Federico Ughi answered some questions via email for The Pulse in advance of their May 26 concert at Barking Legs Theater.

The Pulse: What are your expectations for a successful concert?

Adam Caine: I just want to play my ass off. And I’m grateful for an audience that brings its own energy.

Federico Ughi: I would say that usually, if by the end of the concert everybody in the room comes together to some sort of understanding, that feels good to me.

TP: Do you have any improvisational strategies or philosophies?

AC: I play by intuition as much as possible. “Don’t play what you practice, don’t practice what you play,” Paul Smoker used to say. Smoker is a phenomenal, underrated trumpet player in my hometown, Rochester, NY. So I’m intensely prepared, but spontaneous. At the same time, it’s

The Moon. Contributed photo.

important to let a musical idea grow within the context of an improvisation. I’m interested in creating something that feels compositional. This demands a lot of focus.

FU: When I improvise, when I play in general, I try to listen to what’s happening around me as much as possible. I try to listen to “the room” as a whole. I try to feel the people around me, musicians and audience. I try to get a sense of their feelings. I learned this from [free-jazz saxophonist] Daniel Carter. Another element very important to me is following my instinct, in the moment. This usually tells me what to play next. I’m trying to stay away from premeditated strategies and clichés as much as I can.

TP: Describe your musical relationship with each other.

honest music

FU: When we play together, especially if it’s The Moon, I feel like we are in the same sonic dimension, in the same part of the sound structure. As the music develops, we follow each other into the various parts of the improvised composition, like a unit, as one sound monster with one body and two heads. I think that this is only possible with hours and hours of playing and hanging together. It’s one of the aspects that I really love in music making.

AC: I think a musical relationship is as much about hanging out as it is about playing. We’ve been on the road five times, we’ve been to Morocco, we’ve played together with Daniel Carter, Connie Crothers, Jimmy Halperin, Abdullah El-Gourd; some of the greats. It all informs the duo. We

trust each other.

TP: What were the highlights of your Morocco trip?

AC: It was incredible to play almost every night with Abdullah El-Gourd and Dar Gnawa Du Tangier. They were so welcoming and interested in what we were doing. They are highly skilled practitioners of a deep musical tradition, but very open to jazz and improvisation.

TP: What would you say to a person who believes that free-jazz is just noise?

FU: Some people think that Jackson Pollock’s paintings are just dirt on a canvas.

TP: How do you see each other’s strengths?

AC: Federico is real—he plays with a lot of feeling. He has a tremendous

sense of timing, which of course is what you want from a drummer. He is incredibly dynamic and has the patience to let a musical structure grow.

Though we play “free” music, we almost always have a pulse happening— a groove, or jazz time—and Federico is responsible for a lot of that.

FU: Adam knows how to listen. He can rock the house but he’s also a very sensitive player. He’s also crazy, which is a great gift.

The Moon, May 26, 7:30 p.m., $5.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org.

This Memorial Day event will be preceded by a free Chattanooga Improvisors Collective open jam session at 4 p.m. and an outdoor potluck at 6 p.m.

local and regional shows

An Evening with Groovekid [$5] Antique Cadillac & Tom Bennett [$5]

Thu, May 22 9pm Thu, May 29 9pm

Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Free Live Music every Sunday evening starting at 7pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint

chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

LIVE MUSIC MAY/JUNE

23 KATY TIZ SHOWCASE SAT 6p 24 MATT STEPHENS SAT 9p 24 THU JERRY GARCIA 9p 29 SAME AS IT EVER WAS FRI 10p 30 THE COMMUNICATORS SAT 9:30p 31 MURDER BY DEATH WED 9:30p 4 DOWNSTREAM

FRI 9p

with RIVER CITY HUSTLERS

ALL AGES, FREE SHOWCASE

PROJECT

80'S AND 90'S DANCE

COVER BAND

with SHABTI. DEADHEADS UNITE!

A TALKING HEADS TRIBUTE PRESENT THAT 90'S SHOW

BROODING ORCHESTRAL INDIE ROCK

6.5 AGORI TRIBE with CANOPY • 18+ SHOW 6.6 COPPER INTO STEEL, ROOTS OF A REBELLION

COMING SOON

SOUL MECHANIC

SAT UNOFFICIAL PANIC AFTER PARTY 10p

AUNT BETTY

AUTHENTIC ‘80S ROCK BAND!

SAT 10p

7

14

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Theory Of A Deadman

thursday5.22 Pops and Rec 5:30 p.m.

Eastdale Recreation Center 1314 Moss St. chattanoogasymphony.org Jazz Thursdays 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1274 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rock the Bluff Presents: Dead Testaments 7 p.m.

Hunter Museum 10 Bluff View Ave. huntermuseum.org An Evening with Groovekid 7 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Open Mic with Hap Henniger 6 p.m.

The Office 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 The Gold Hope Duo 9 p.m.

Sluggo’s 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224 Hooten Hollars, Sweet GA Brown, Busman’s Holiday

16 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

friday5.23 Roots Fest Noon Cherokee Farms, 2035 Old Mineral Springs Rd. LaFayette, Ga. roots-fest.com Jason Thomas & The Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd.

Pulse pick: wendell matthews "Whatever it takes to tell the story best, that's how I approach the song," says Matthews.

Whether country twang, reflective folk, a heartfelt tribute or lighthearted humor, each melody is matched to the lyric.

Wendell Matthews Tuesday, 7 p.m.

The North Chatt Cat 346 Frazier Ave. (423) 266-9466

elmesonrestaurant.com Pokey Lafarge, 9th Street Stompers 7 p.m.

Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Mountain Opry 8 p.m.

Walden’s Ridge Civic Center 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 866-3252 Stallion 8 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Theory of a Deadman 8 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.com Logan Murrell

8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Mark Andrews 9 p.m.

The Office 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Aunt Betty 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Jeff the Brotherhood, Glowing Bordis, GPG 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

saturday5.24 The Old Time Travelers 11 a.m.

Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, Ga. seerockcity.com Roots Fest Noon Cherokee Farms, 2035 Old Mineral Springs Rd. LaFayette, Ga. roots-fest.com Matt’s Friday Jam 5:30 p.m.

Julie Darling Donuts 121 Frazier Ave. (423) 591-3737 jddonuts.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

Turbo Fruits Jason Thomas & The Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Katy Tiz Free Showcase 6 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Logan Murrell 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Matt Stephens Project 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St., rhythm-brews.com To Be Announced 10 p.m.

The Office 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn) (423) 634-9191 Aunt Betty 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Baby Baby, Yakapo, Medicine Tree 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

sunday5.25 The Old Time Travelers 11 a.m.

Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, Ga. seerockcity.com Roots Fest Noon Cherokee Farms, 2035 Old Mineral Springs Rd. LaFayette, Ga. roots-fest.com Bucktown Kickback 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Confederate RailRoad 3, 8 p.m.

Lake Winnepesaukah 1730 Lakeview Dr. lakewinnie.com Irish Music Jam Session 5 p.m.

Enzo’s Market 1501 Long St. enzosmarket.com Daniel James Dickson and The Jamtastics 7 p.m.

Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 476-8442 Jack’s Acoustic Night featuring Keith Krisp, Garrett Bourdon and Rye Baby 7 p.m.

The Honest Pint

35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Jacuzzi Boys, Folk Killer, Lutheran Heat 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

monday5.26 Old School 7 p.m.

J & J Restaurant and Lounge 2208 Glass St. (423) 622-3579 The Moon 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.com Big Band Night 7:30 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton, Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com

tuesday5.27 Wendell Matthews 7 p.m.

The North Chatt Cat 346 Frazier Ave. (423) 266-9466 Sam Hadfield, Paul Hadfield 7 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Open Mic with

Mike McDade 9 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pk. tremonttavern.com Dead Testaments, Gorgous, muuy bien 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

wednesday5.28 John Lathim, Michelle Young 5 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Wednesday Night Jam Session 6 p.m.

Enzo’s Market 1501 Long St. enzosmarket.com Eric Garmany, Eric Shelton 9 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Turbo Fruits, Leopold and His Fiction, Tessla Rossa 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 Thursday, May 22: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, May 23: 9pm Mark Andrews Saturday, May 24: 10pm (It’s A Surprise) Tuesday, May 27: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook daily lunCh & drink speCials!

The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.

Book your Birthday, anniversary or oFFiCe parties now!

410 market • (423) 757-wing

singitorwingit-chattanooga.com

CheCk out the Cat in the hat

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 17

Record Reviews

BRIAN KING

Musical Postcards from the Edge Neil Young’s latest scribbles and jabs with

This could be yours...

Buy. Sell.

Trade.

ChattanoogaHasCars.com

From the late 1940s up until the early part of the 1970s, Americans were apparently impossibly thrilled to hear a sound recording of their very own voices. At least, according to the advertisements concocted by the charmingly named firm the International Mutoscope Reel Company of Long Island City, New York, which manufactured and marketed an incredible piece of technology called the Voiceo-Graph.

This device, during its heyday seen across the nation in amusement parks, arcades, and tourist spots such as the Empire State Building, was, in its deluxe version, a record recording booth that allowed customers to create an actual 6-inch vinyl record.

With a recording time of 65 seconds, and audio that sounded like the recording was conducted inside a garbage can, no one was using this device to create the next Sgt. Pepper’s, but rather to create keepsakes of their vacations or quick messages to mail home: “Dear Mom, the Grand Canyon is terrific! Wish you were here!” Nice, eh?

Well, jump cut to the present and we find ourselves on Record Store Day 2014. Jack White unveils at his Third Man Records in Nashville what is allegedly the only remaining operational Voice-o-Graph machine in the world. Beyond being another example of

18 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

White’s preoccupation with arcane bits of Americana, the device is significant for another reason.

Neil Young has recorded his latest album A Letter Home using the Voice-o-Graph as his sole means of technology. No overdubs. No lead guitars. No effects. Just Neil, his guitar and harmonica and that’s about it. Oh, and the songs.

You see, A Letter Home is a covers album. Young has crafted his 35th album around a set of songs culled mainly from the ’50s and ’60s. Not necessarily songs that were influential to Young as a musician, but songs that seemed to have encouraged Young’s career or pushed him to compete. Hence, we get Dylan’s “Girl From the North Country,” two Gordon Lightfoot standards (“If You Could Read My Mind” and “Early Morning Rain”) and Bert Jansch’s mournful “Needle of Death” which might just be the crowning achievement on this record.

Young is a longtime devotee of the Scottish folk singer/ guitarist and founding member of the band Pentangle, and Jansch’s anti-drug song is a perfect fit for Young both musically and emotionally.

Not all the songs on A Letter Home work quite so well, however. Young’s version of Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” featuring Jack White himself pounding away on

Neil Young A Letter Home (Third Man/Reprise) tack piano sounds somewhat contrived or rushed; a possible throwaway that seemingly treats the tune somewhat frivolously. And of all the Bruce Springsteen songs to have chosen, “My Hometown” from Born in the U.S.A might seem disappointing.

Equally curious is the hesitancy in his delivery of the Dylan tune, which gives it an improvised feel. Nevertheless, that’s probably what Young and White intended with this album.

Neil Young has made a career out of defying expectations,

and he rarely repeats himself.

He spent at least half of the ’80s putting out headscratchingly-odd records that plagued his fans and record labels alike. A Letter Home takes its place alongside Reac-tor and Trans as entries in the Neil Young weird-out sweepstakes, but unlike those albums, at least his 35th sounds like he’s not trying to update his sound, but instead keep his past alive.

At least until next year when Young releases his EDM album. Neil Young featuring Bassnector, anyone?

n o o n e e n o GUITAR STUDIO

Welcomes students of all styles and levels!

Featuring Nashville Guitar Instructor Nic Alexander “I teach students how to make progress through the inspiration of melody”

WELCOMES STUDENTS OF ALL STYLES AND LEVELS! FEATURING NASHVILLE GUITAR INSTRUCTOR NIC ALEXANDER Free group guitar clinic • Free Skype back-up tutorials included with all lesson packages

Intermediate studies on techniques:

Sweeping Arpeggios Tapping • String Skipping • Travis Picking Alternate and Economy Picking • Speed Picking Riffs andhow Bending “ISeasoned teach Blues students toTechniques make progress Power chords and Amplifier settings through theTRAINING inspiration ofLEVELS melody.”

ACOUSTIC GUITAR FOR ALL

Come get signed up at my North Shore Studio and let us pass along to you the lifelong gift of making music!

Advanced technicians welcome

Come get signed up at my North Shore Studio and let us pass to you the lifelong of making music!

Freealong group guitar clinicgift • Free Skype back-up

Caitlin

Taylor

Pulse Magazine

tutorials included with all lesson packages Advanced Technicians Welcome

Intermediate studies on techniques: 615-509-5818 Certified Guitar Instructor Sweeping Arpeggios Tapping • String Skipping LessonRating.com Travis Picking Alternate and Economy Picking can also•come to yourBlues location!

Speed iPicking Seasoned Riffs and Bending Please visit nicholasridiculous’ Techniques • Power chords and Amplifier settings channel on youtube!

ACOUSTIC GUITAR TRAINING FOR ALL LEVELS

615-509-5818

certified guitar instructor lessonrating.com i can also come to your location!

Visit nicholasrediculous’ channel of YouTube!

Like us on Facebook!

chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

ART SCENE

The Past Is Always With Them Chekhov’s “Three Sisters” is a window on the Russian soul

Get the Art Juices Flowing Teenage artists get a bridge to glory No matter which Chattanooga neighborhood you’re in, local artwork is always waiting to be found. Like the level of talent, support for local artists is great.

With a mission “to build a stronger community through the arts,” ArtsBuild (formerly Allied Arts) has been Chattanooga’s official arts agency for 45 years.

Working to raise money to support art and arts education, one major achievement has been creation and funding of arts education programs for Hamilton County Schools.

Now ArtsBuild is hosting a student arts contest. Until Monday June 16 at 5 p.m., ArtsBuild is accepting entries from Chattanooga-area students en-

tering grades 9-12. Submissions must be the student’s original work, twodimensional, include image(s) of the Walnut Street Bridge, and be no larger than 9-by-12 inches.

The winning artist will receive $250 and have their work displayed on ArtsBuild’s marketing materials for its new event, Creative Juices: Breakfast on the Bridge to Support Arts Education.

This event, set for Saturday, September 13, will take place on the Walnut Street Bridge. Starting at 8 a.m., it will be a morning of food, art activities, and entertainment.

For more information on the contest and ArtsBuild, visit artsbuild.com — Madeline Chambliss

THU5.22

frI5.23

SAT5.24

SYMPHONIC POP

SERIOUSLY FUNNY

JOYFUL NOISES

CSO in the Community: Pops and Rec

Gary Owen

Gospel on Glass

After being named “Funniest Serviceman In America,” his big break came in 1997 on BET's stand-up showcase Comic View, followed by several movie and television performances.

8 p.m.

Robert Kirk Walker Community Theatre 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5295, chattanoogaonstage.com

A celebration of local gospel choirs at the corner of North Chamberlain and Glass Street in the community space. Five local gospel groups will perform, along with live painting and poetry reading from Urban Artformz.

Noon.

Glass Street Community Space 2523 Glass St. glasshousecollective.org

Bring your lawnchairs and blankets beginning at 5:30 p.m. and the CSO Wind Quintet will take the stage from 6 p.m. to 7 p.m. with classical favorites and popular tunes to delight the crowd.

5:30 p.m.

Eastdale Recreation Center 1314 Moss St. (423) 697-1289 chattanoogasymphony.com

20 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

A

N ARGUMENT HAS BEEN GOING ON ABOUT WHETher Anton Chekhov’s plays are comedies or tragedies since they were written. Chekhov himself came down firmly in the comedy camp, and Sherry Lansing, who is directing the version of the playwright’s “Three Sisters” opening May 20, definitely agrees.

Arts JANIS HASHE

“

Lansing selected a little-used 1901 translation of the play and is encouraging her actors to adapt the language for their concepts of their characters.”

“When we did our first readthrough, we laughed all the way through the first act,” she says. Of course the comedy is bittersweet, but that, she says, is itself a window into the Russian sense of humor. “I think there is a sort of cultural tradition of ‘performing’ the ‘tragedies’ of your life,” she explains.

“Three Sisters”, always rumored to be based to some degree on the three Bronte sisters and their hapless brother, Branwell, tells the story of four siblings whose mother and father are both dead. They are members of the fast-decaying aristocratic class (the play premiered in 1901, 16 years before the Revolution), and their oftexpressed longing is to move back to Moscow from the provincial town their father relocated them to before he died.

“The play is really about how we do not appreciate what we have in front of us…how the grass is always greener somewhere else,” Lansing says. “The characters talk a great deal about happiness and when and how they will have it.”

There are some interesting parallels between the Russia of Chekhov’s day and the Russia constantly in the news now. “Russia had fought—and lost— the Crimean War about 45 years earlier. They were trampled by Europe, yet they were always trying to catch up to Europe,” Lansing says. All of Chekhov’s major plays involve people

(l to r) w Apryl Hughes (Natasha), Roman Penney (Andrey), Bridgett Bryant (Irina), Jessie Knowles (Masha)

who cannot let go of the past, and, says Lansing, “ there is always someone who comments that ‘all we do is sit around, play cards and drink vodka.’” Yet in the end of “Three Sisters”, the sisters do, in fact, decide to move on, even if their futures are not what they had once hoped they would be.

Lansing’s production at Chatt State features members of all ten graduating classes from the decade-old Professional Actors Training Program (Bridgett Bryant, John Thomas Cecil, Gioia Fazzini, Tommy Goddard, Apryl Hughes, Jessie Knowles, Roman Penney and Ryne Williams) Chatt State theatre faculty/staff members Bob Hobgood and Rex Knowles and guest artists Stephanie Goddard, Becki Jordan, Doug May and Taylor Williams. It’s set in the original time period, but Lansing selected a little-used 1901 translation of the play and is encouraging her actors to adapt the language for their concepts of their characters.

“In doing this, I know I’ve asked people who are not writers to stretch themselves,” she says, “but many of them are loving the chance to do this

and giving the words such life.” And in fact, she adds, “Chekhov’s work, more than any other writer, adapts itself to the actor playing the role. Each production is unique because of that quality.”

To the occasional criticism that “nothing ever happens in Chekhov’s plays”, Lansing begs to differ. “In ‘Three Sisters”, we see four days in the course of four years, and each time, something eventful is happening.”

“After us they’ll fly in hot air balloons, coat styles will change, perhaps they’ll discover a sixth sense and cultivate it, but life will remain the same, a hard life full of secrets, but happy.

And a thousand years from now man will still be sighing, “Oh! Life is so hard!” and will still, like now, be afraid of death and not want to die.” — from “Three Sisters”

“Chekhov’s work, more than any other writer, adapts itself to the actor playing the role.

Each production is unique because of that quality.”

“Three Sisters” $10.

7:30 p.m. May 30, 31, June 6, 7; 2:30 p.m. June 8.

Humanities Theatre, Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Highway.

Reservations and more information, (423) 697-3247. chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT thursday5.22

for more info call 706.820.2531

See RockCity.com ...and make plans this weekend!

F eaturing the Old Time Travelers!

CSO in the Community: Pops and Rec 5:30 p.m.

Eastdale Recreation Center 1314 Moss St. (423) 697-1289 chattanoogasymphony.com TheatreQuest: Performances of Harlem Renaissance, Civil Rights Era and Beyond 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Chattanooga Storytelling Circle 6 p.m.

Northgate Public Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635 chattlibrary.org “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m.

Vaudeville Café 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com “To Kill a Mockingbird” 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com

friday5.23 Another great reason to get a Rock City Annual Pass. For less than the cost of two single admissions, you can come back again and again... for FREE!

Sew What Unplugged 3 p.m.

Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org “Mystery of Flight 138”

22 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

“The Book Thief” 7 p.m.

Vaudeville Café 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com D.J. Lewis 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Sleeping Beauty” 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Jericho Brass Concert at Johnson Park Pavilion 7:30 p.m.

Johnston Park Pavilion Cleveland, TN jerichobrassband.org Clark Haggans Comedy Tour Presents: Gary Owen 8 p.m.

Robert Kirk Walker

Pulse pick: d.j. lewis A self-proclaimed "North West Georgia Gutterbilly", he's as "Murkan as fat free birthday cake flavored yogurt and as raw as a bunyun on the foot of an Alabama mail man."

D.J. Lewis Friday, Saturday, Sunday The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Community Theatre 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5295 chattanoogaonstage.com “To Kill a Mockingbird” 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com

saturday5.24 Tai Chi Classes 9:30 a.m.

Northgate Public Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635 chattlibrary.org Wildlife Docent Tour 10 a.m.

Reflection Riding Arboretum Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanooganaturecenter.org Tai Chi Classes

11 a.m.

Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Gospel on Glass at the Glass Street Community Space Noon.

Glass Street Community Space 2523 Glass St. glasshousecollective.org Grounds & Gardens Tour 2 p.m.

Reflection Riding Arboretum Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanooganaturecenter.org “Sleeping Beauty” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Eastgate Saturday Cinema: "The Book Thief" 2:30 p.m.

Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 5:30 p.m.

Vaudeville Café 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com D.J. Lewis 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “To Kill a Mockingbird” 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538

theatrecentre.com “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 8 p.m.

Vaudeville Café 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

sunday5.25 Chattanooga Market: Beast Feast 11 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Docent’s Choice Tour 2 p.m.

Reflection Riding Arboretum Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 chattanooganaturecenter.org “To Kill a Mockingbird” 2:30 p.m., Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com “Sleeping Beauty” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com D.J. Lewis 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday5.26 Rhythm Ballroom Dance 6, 8 p.m.

The Ballroom at Hixson 7001 Middle Valley Rd. 423) 394-6428 theballroomathixson.com Memorial Day Celebration with The Moon 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs TheateR 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

tuesday5.27 "Speciesism: The Movie" 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org “Shall We Dance?”

7:30 p.m.

Ballroom Magic Dance Center 4200 N. Access Rd. (423) 771-3646 ballroommagicdancecenter.com

wednesday5.28 Chattanooga Wednesday Market 4 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com CSO in the Community: Yoga with Kayoko 5:30 p.m.

Thrive Studio 191 River St. (423) 800-0676 chattanoogasymphony.com Rapid Learning Kayak Roll Practice 6 p.m.

Chester Frost Park 2318 Gold Point Circle.

(423) 842-0177 outdoorchattanooga.com Wednesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Jewish Film Series presents: “Pour Le Femme” 7 p.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Rhythm Ballroom Dance 8 p.m.

The Ballroom at Hixson 7001 Middle Valley Rd. 423) 394-6428 theballroomathixson.com

ongoing “The Wizard of Oz” Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org “Twenty Original American Etchings” The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “East Asian Inspired Art: 7 Artists” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr., Hixson. (423) 870-8924 “From The Earth” Reflection Gallery 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgalleryTN.com “Materials Intertwined” River Gallery

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

"Specieism: The Movie"

400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 rivergallery.com “Bright Ideas: African American Inventors & Inventions” Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org “The Fine Art of Jazz“ Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658 “African American Art: Harlem Renaissance Civil Rights Era and Beyond” Hunter Museum 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968 “The Seasoned Eye: A Celebration of Artists Working 20+ Years” AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org “New Work—40 Years Exhibit” In-Town Gallery 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Rock City Raptors Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mtn., GA seerockcity.com Chattanooga Ghost Tours 9 p.m. nightly The Little Curiosity Shoppe 138 Market St. (423) 821-7125 chattanoogaghosttours.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

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chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 23

FILM SCENE

Return Of The Lizard King

Godzillla is back and so is the welcome corn

Well-Tailored Life, Disrupted Jewish Film Series presents: “Pour Le Femme” The Seventh Annual Jewish Film Series concludes on Wednesday, May 28 with a screening of “Pour Le Femme” (For a Woman), presented in the original French with English subtitles.

The unexpected arrival of a brother who supposedly perished during World War II upsets the lives of a Jewish tailor and his pretty bride in this latest film from French veteran director Diane Kurys.

Inspired by the director’s own family history, this beautifully crafted historical drama goes back and forth between the immediate postwar period and 1980s France, when a young director (Sylvie

✴✴✴✴✴

Testud) tries to write a screenplay inspired by the story of her parents.

French stars Nicolas Duvauchelle and Benoit Magimel play Ukrainian-born but France-raised siblings, with Melanie Thierry playing the latter’s young wife, who finds herself inconveniently attracted to her brother-in-law.

Jewish Film Series presents: “Pour Le Femme” Wednesday, May 28, 7 p.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com

NEW IN THEATERS

✴✴✴✴✴

X-Men: Days of Future Past

Blended

The X-Men send Wolverine to the past in a desperate effort to change history and prevent an event that results in doom for both humans and mutants. Will this be the last XMen movie for a while? Only time will tell.

Director: Bryan Singer Stars: Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Hugh Jackman, James McAvoy

After a bad blind date, a man and woman find themselves stuck together at a resort for families, where their attraction grows as their respective kids benefit from the burgeoning relationship.

Director: Frank Coraci Stars: Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Kevin Nealon

24 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

I

F SOMEONE WERE TO ASK WHY I PREFER “GODZILla” to 2013’s giant monster extravaganza “Pacific Rim,” I’d have a hard time coming up with a coherent answer.

Screen JOHN DEVORE

“

The characters take the events in the film deadly seriously, which makes a film bordering on camp able to maintain its quality.”

Both are titans in the industry of slick-looking CGI behemoths, both are patently absurd, and both feature the kind of realistic urban destruction I’ve longed to see since my days playing “Rampage” in the arcade at the local mall. “Pacific Rim” even included skyscraper sized Rock’em Sock’em robots to pummel large bipedal shark creatures into submission.

And yet, “Pacific Rim” felt overlong and noisy. It was entertaining for about half an hour, but I was soon ready to move on. This year’s “Godzilla” is the opposite. I was never aware of how long the film was, only that I didn’t want it to end. Perhaps it’s the nostalgia built into the character itself—it reminds me of days spent in the library as a child, reading books about movie monsters like The Creature from the Black Lagoon and King Kong, fascinated by the creature effects and costumes.

Godzilla was certainly the king of those books, and seeing a faithful adaptation of the original films was an absolute joy. Perhaps it’s that the filmmakers didn’t try to Americanize or modernize the story; it maintains a 1950s perception of nuclear radiation, never apologizing for this deliberate misunderstanding but reveling in it and celebrating the ignorance. Whatever the reason, “Godzilla” proves that films like these don’t need to make sense. They just needs to exist.

It’s the fear and reverence for the power of the atom that makes Godzilla a distinctly Japanese creation. Japan

is a country that felt the full devastation of nuclear weapons. Godzilla is the personification of that destructive force. This film marks the 60th anniversary of the creature and, to its credit, maintains the theme of nuclear energy as a consumptive and dangerous arrogance on the part of mankind.

This is silly, of course, but so are citydestroying monsters. It’s just an exploration of humanity’s irrational fear of what isn’t easily understood.

The monsters are explained as leftovers from a previous Earth, a time millions of years ago when the surface was much more radioactive.

These creatures fed on the radioactivity, but as it dissipated on the surface, the creatures retreated underground, closer to the Earth’s core. Man’s newfound technology has begun to draw

them back to the surface once more.

The main antagonists of the film are a pair of “Cloverfield”-esque type monsters, insectoid creatures with lots of limbs, looking to mate and reestablish their dominance in nature. Godzilla exists to balance that force. He emerges to do battle and hunt them back into extinction.

The MUTOs, as they’re called, are surprisingly sneaky despite being essentially mayflies the size of mountains. The humans are constantly losing them, even though from above they appear to leave a pretty large trail of breadcrumbs. The stealth of these colossal beasts might be my favorite part of the movie.

As to the main event, the appearance of titular character, I can’t say enough about the design and render-

ing of the fire-breathing lizard. Where 2001’s box office bomb tried to update the character, making it more lizard-like and realistic, the 2014 “Godzilla”maintains much of the original look. In fact, Godzilla moves almost exactly the way a man in a rubber suit would, with a bit more grace.

These battles look exactly as they should—recreated versions of the older films completed with the best CGI current technology has to offer.

This is a film that begs to be seen at a drive-in-theater, late at night, surrounded by fireflies and fogged Chevy windows. The performances by the human actors in the film are exactly as they need to be: barely there. This isn’t a film that calls for strong acting. As long as the characters can look sufficiently afraid and astonished,

they’ve done their jobs. At the same time, the characters take the events in the film deadly seriously, which makes a film bordering on camp able to maintain its quality.

It is inspiring that a film like “Godzilla” can still be made. This is an extremely simple premise, one that doesn’t need much dissection or over-thinking. There is an ongoing trend in recent films, insisting on updating previous franchises with realism and overwrought emotion.

I have no doubt that there were dissenting voices while this film was being made, voices hoping to “update” the film to reach a modern audience with gritty reality. Luckily, “Godzilla” avoids both parody and ironic severity. It aims to be a monster movie and succeeds in all areas.

Powered by imagination.

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Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

“Sometimes I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.” — Unknown We’ve all been there: feeling “off” or underappreciated or unloved. Maybe it’s feeling completely alone with a problem, or that you just don’t fit in. Perhaps you’re having trouble clearing away the fog and thinking productively. Whatever it may be, my advice is to try to understand what’s going on with you.

It’s like Socrates said about the unexamined life. If you can’t put your finger on it, try not to worry. Tomorrow you’ll hit the re-set button and see if you do better, think more clearly, are kinder toward others. (What goes around…)

Some easy bits of healthy self-nurturing until then: Call a friend.

Go for a long walk in nature. Play with your dog. Read a good book. Meditate or pray or hug a tree. Whatever soothes the soul.

You’re not alone; it just feels like it right now.

chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 27

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20): During the next 12 months you will have exceptional opportunities to soak up knowledge, add to your skill set, and get the training you need to pursue interesting kinds of success in the coming six to eight years. What’s the best way to prepare? Develop an exciting new plan for your future education. To get in the mood, try the following: make a list of your most promising but still unripe potentials; meditate on the subjects that evoke your greatest curiosity; brainstorm about what kinds of experiences would give you more control over your destiny; and study three people you know who have improved their lives by taking aggressive steps to enhance their proficiency.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The moon shows us a different phase every 24 hours, which makes it seem changeable. But in fact, not much actually happens on the moon. It has no atmosphere, no weather, no wind, no plant life, no seasons. There is some water, but it’s all frozen. Is there anything like this in your own life, Cancerian?

Something that on the surface of things seems to be in constant motion, but whose underlying state never actually shifts or develops?

According to my analysis, now would be an excellent time for you to revise the way you understand this part of your world, and then update your relationship with it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you thought of organizing a crowdfunding campaign to boost your pet project or labor of love? I suggest you get serious about it in the next four weeks. This coming phase of your cycle will be a favorable time to expand your audience, attract new allies, and build a buzz. You will have a sixth sense about how to wield your personal charm to serve your long-term goals. More than usual, your selfish interests will dovetail with the greater good— perhaps in unexpected ways.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Years ago I had a Virgo friend who was a talented singer. She had technical skill, stylistic flair, and animal magnetism, making her worthy of being a lead vocalist in almost any great band. And yet when she was asleep and had dreams of performing, she often found herself standing in the shadows, barely visible and singing tentatively, while her back-up singers hogged the spotlight at center stage. Moral of the story: Some of you Virgos are shy about claiming your full authority.

It doesn’t always come easy for you to shine your light and radiate your power. And yet you can most definitely learn to do so. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to make progress in this direction.

rob brezsny

sy friends and meals and journeys for itsy-bitsy years on end . . . I won’t have it. The world is wider than that in all directions, more dangerous and bitter, more extravagant and bright.” Your assignment in the coming weeks, Libra, is to transcend whatever is itsy-bitsy about your life. The alternative?

Head toward the frontier and drum up experiences that will thrill your heart and blow your mind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours,” writes novelist Heidi R. Kling. That’s good advice for you to keep in mind these days, Scorpio. Those little imps and rascals that live within you may get you into bad trouble if they feel bored.

But if you arrange for them to have play dates with the imps and rascals of people you trust, they are far more likely to get you into good trouble. They may even provide you with bits of gritty inspiration.

What’s that you say? You don’t have any demons? Not true. Everyone has them.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “When people tell you who they are, believe them,” writes blogger Maria Popova (Brainpickings.org). “Just as importantly, however, when people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them.” Those suggestions are especially crucial for you to keep in mind these days. You are entering a phase when your best relationships will be up for review and revision and revitalization. To foster an environment in which intimacy will thrive, you’ve got to be extra receptive, curious, tolerant, and tender. That’s all! Not hard, right?

A good place to start is to proceed as if your allies know who they are better than you do—even as you ask them to return the favor.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Kludge” (pronounced klooj) is a slang word that refers to a clumsy but effective fix for an engineering problem. It’s a cobbled-together solution that works fine, at least temporarily, even though it is inelegant or seems farfetched. Let’s use this concept in a metaphorical way to apply to you. I’m guessing that you will be a kludge master in the coming days. You will be skilled at making the best of mediocre situations. You may have surprising success at doing things that don’t come naturally, and I bet you will find unexpected ways to correct glitches that no one else has any idea about how to fix.

called The Great Sun of Life and Highest Incarnation of Revolutionary Comradely Love, for instance.

Titles like that might suit you. It is said that he invented the hamburger. He could command rain to fall from the sky. He once shot eleven holes-in-one in a single round of golf, was a master of gliding down waterslides, and never had to use a toilet because he produced no waste. You may be able to express comparable feats in the coming weeks. (Do it without falling prey to excessive pride, OK?) PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Even if you had a sensitive, nurturing mommy when you were growing up, and even if she continues to play an important role in your life, now would be a good time to learn how to mother yourself better. You are finally ready to appreciate how important it is to be your own primary caregiver. And I’m hoping you are no longer resistant to or embarrassed about the idea that part of you is still like a child who needs unconditional love 24/7.

So get started! Treat yourself with the expert tenderness that a crafty maternal goddess would provide.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I believe your persuasive powers will be stronger than usual in the weeks ahead. The words coming out of your mouth will sound especially interesting. I also suspect that your intelligence will get at least a temporary upgrade. The clarity of your thoughts will intensify. You will see truths you have been blind to in the past. Innovative solutions to long-running dilemmas are likely to occur to you. The only potential snag is that you might neglect to nurture your emotional riches.

You could become a bit too dry and hard. But now that I’ve warned you of that possibility, let’s hope you will take steps to ensure it won’t happen.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If there was a Hall of Fame for scientists, physicist Isaac Newton (16421727) would have been the charter member. He was like Elvis Presley and Chuck Berry were to rock and roll, like Babe Ruth was to baseball. The theory of gravity and the three laws of motion were his gifts to the world. He made major contributions to mathematics and optics, and was a central figure in defining modern science. There is also a legend that he invented the cat door, inspired by his pet felines.

Whether or not that’s true, it serves as an excellent metaphor for this horoscope. It’s an excellent time for you to apply your finest talents and highest intelligence to dream up small, mundane, but practical innovations.

Freshy F

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “There is always an enormous temptation in all of life,” writes Annie Dillard, “to diddle around making itsy-bit-

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I hesitate to compare you to your fellow Aquarian Kim Jong-il. When he was alive and ruling North Korea, he was an egomaniacal tyrant.

You’re definitely not that. But there are certain descriptions of him in his official biography that remind me of the kinds of powers you may soon exhibit. He was

Homework: Name a beautiful thing you were never capable of doing until this past year. http://RealAstrology

Tuesday – East Brainer

28 • The Pulse • May 22-28, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

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$ ACROSS 1 Brother of Dubya 4 Does nothing 10 “And others” abbreviation 14 Let go 15 Fed. securities 16 1958 Chevalier musical 17 Actress Kirshner 18 Like some fibrillation 19 Agents under J. Edgar Hoover, informally 20 Put effort into test prep 22 Serviceability 23 Ex-R.E.M. lead 24 Hiccups, e.g.

27 “Dang straight!”

30 Certain Sooner 31 Problem while drying out 33 Backside 34 Not quite transparent 35 In-basket stamp: abbr.

37 Necklace part 39 Address for Bill and Ted 40 Detach 42 Become less hostile 44 Irish airline ___ Lingus 45 Research your blind date, say 46 Mister, in Rio 48 Polar expedition vehicle 49 10-rated Bo 51 Amateur 52 Bunk up 56 Cupid’s specialty 58 Bar in a steering mechanism 59 “32 Flavors” singer DiFranco 60 Attack of the flu 61 Leisurely walk 62 Alkali in cleansers 63 Barracks bunks 64 Where everything from the theme

answers collects 65 Young bloke DOWN 1 Impromptu concerts 2 Goes offstage 3 Reason cosmetology is a no-go?

4 “Freeze!”

5 Where sand and plastic shovels go?

6 When tripled, a 1970 war film 7 Make Kool-Aid 8 Abacus piece 9 Fashionable initials 10 Sandwich spread 11 Party in New York City?

12 Get better in barrels 13 Jeremy of the NBA 21 “Lock Up the Wolves” metal band 22 “___ and Away” 24 The two things tires do best?

25 “Harold and ___” 26 Nasty expression 28 Course for U.S. immigrants 29 “___ how I roll” 31 “Hugs not ___” 32 Carpentry joint part 36 Horse-drawn vehicles, despite their name 38 That naval vessel 41 Cosmetics aisle brand 43 Sweet-talk 47 Day division, in Venice 50 Great Rift Valley locale 52 In ___ (as found) 53 Alpaca group 54 Longtime Yankees nickname 55 Conked out 56 “Resurrection” network 57 Ranch call 58 Cough syrup amt.

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0676

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chattanoogapulse.com • May 22-28, 2014 • The Pulse • 29

Taking Pride in Your Work Officer Alex gives a career criminal a lesson in what not to rob

“

The Cracker Barrel is like the ‘Gramma’ of chain stores.

Who the &@$% robs Gramma?!”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach

“What kind of sick &@$% robs a ‘Cracker Barrel’?!” I nearly screamed. “That’s unAmerican!” I meant it. I was truly disgusted.

“Why can’t you rob a gas station or a porn shop—” I was interrupted by my partner, who said something in my ear.

“Yeah, you’re right,” I muttered, “that’s ALEX pretty American too. Title pawn shop?” I said, glancing over at Jonesy for approval.

He nodded, smiling.

I shook it off and resumed.

“The Cracker Barrel is like the ‘Gramma’ of chain stores.

Who the &@$% robs Gramma?!” I screeched, back in my stride.

Darrell Winton was sitting before us looking forlorn, his hands cuffed behind him and draped over the back of the chair, completing the effect. He was looking down between widely spread knees

and feet planted flat on the floor, a hint of clear spit poised to drip from his lower lip.

“Maaaaan,” he drew out, “I ain’t never thought of it like that.”

“Exactly, son. You definitely weren’t thinking. In America, we have choices,” I explained, my voice calming as I stood erect TEACH and began to pace a bit, the 30-year-old pictures on the wall suddenly becoming interesting.

“There was a hotel right across the street. Two, actually. And just down the road is a liquor store. A liquor store!

Who doesn’t rob a liquor store?”

I said, my voice beginning to rise again. I paused, then resumed my pacing. “But you had to choose the most wholesome business this great city may have on its tax rolls.”

Winton remained silent.

“You’ve got to think, son.”

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(He was about five years younger than me.) “You are a criminal, it’s your trade. And if you’re going to be a criminal, you might as well be good at it. You’ve got to have pride!

Does this feel like pride?” I asked rhetorically. He actually began to open his mouth and I cut him off.

“Hell no you don’t feel proud. You feel stupid.

Shamed. And that’s on you, son.” I paused again, and changed directions in the hallway. “When you leave here, sure, you’ll be booked and processed. You’ll bond right out, and by foot or by car you’re going to pass a few dozen, maybe a few hundred businesses and you’re going to have to look at them and think to yourself ‘Why? Why didn’t I rob that Kohl’s instead?’ Nobody robs a Kohl’s, son, but work with me here.”

Jonesy tilted his head a little and furrowed his eyebrows. I don’t think he knew where I was going with this, but then neither did I. That wasn’t the point.

“Now you’re going to be on the docket with a Cracker Barrel around your neck.

You’re the child rapist of robbers now. Labeled. Marked. A marked man, whose other rob-

ber-friends are going to mock you behind your back, and that’s if you’re lucky.” I let the moment hang there for effect.

“You disgust me, sir. As a man, and as a cop. I really expected more.” Jonesy’s mouth was starting to hang open a bit to offset his now-squinting eyes, and I have to confess…I think I was starting to weird myself out now too.

“Let’s go, Jonesy. The detectives have him now.”

We left the hallway as two poor guys from the burglary/ robbery squad approached to begin their questioning, and the look on their faces telegraphed their confusion as to why 34-year-old Darrell Winton, a career criminal, was now pouring drool onto the floor in a steady stream between slow, racking sobs. He had seemed fine just minutes before when they asked us to watch him for a second so they could take a phone call. My work here… was done.

We hopped in separate cars to head back to district, and Jonesy said his first words.

“Hey, all that talk has me hungry. Wanna go to Cracker Barrel?”

“No. That place gives me the shits.” And with that I rolled off.

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