The Pulse 12.18 » April 30, 2015

April 30, 2015

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

laugh riot(ing)

comedy in chattanooga from stand-up to theater to improvisation, the city has a long history of bringing the funny

stage

MUSIC

arts

the interview

full metal media

cultural fun

lewis black video star latin love

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2 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Contents

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole

April 30, 2015 Volume 12, Issue 18

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Christopher Armstrong • Rob Brezsny Steven W. Disbrow • Matt Jones Whitni McDonald • Mike McJunkin Beth Miller • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach Editorial Interns Gavin Gaither • Kristina Kelly Shaun Webster Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Features 4 BEGINNINGS: Lewis Black is back at the Memorial Auditorium May 2.

Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin

9 SUSHI & BISCUITS: An old favorite is still a delicious ingredient: buttermilk.

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Angela Lanham Rick Leavell • Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

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Contents Copyright © 2015 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

6

A Brief History Of Comedy

If you say the word, “comedy” ’round here, chances are the assumption will be you’re talking about The Comedy Catch.

That’s understandable, because, as of this year, the ’Catch has been putting comics on stage for 30 years.

10

A Little Slice of Latin America

Pupusas, empanadas, tamales, live music, folk dancing, a soccer tournament: Next Saturday, May 2, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., a long-awaited dream will come true.

14

Song Stories Back In The Spotlight

Music videos were a thing long before the advent of MTV. Most of the time it was concert footage, but the “story format” video existed as well (think “Bat Out of Hell,” “Paradise Garage,” or “Space Oddity”).

12 ARTS CALENDAR 16 MUSIC CALENDAR 18 REVIEWS: Shipp Chamber Ensemble adventures, Inamoud entrances.

19 SPIRITS WITHIN: Tito’s Vodka is smooth, tasty—and Texan.

20 SCREEN: “Woman in Gold” paints a very moving portrait.

22 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 22 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 23 on the beat: Officer Alex remembers another violent time in Baltimore—and what it didn’t solve.

de a , e r k h a t e P e m p it to st one w ’ 1 ty & useum n i r m k a a P u Ta j 9 te h, a ry M t s in e t g 9 v l e o i e y c a r s i a e!

T n St M r eD o v , i a y t y r a C a e e d rt Ev A r he Cr T o y f t m i Satur o n pm u C 1 s fr F c t s i y o a l r i n c s ce am oll F Lot a S R g e e n i n e i k h r r a T F M o 12 Pa t c i t e s d e Maj Map & Details @art120.org Para chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 3

news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Rant ’Em If You Got ’Em Lewis Black is back at the Memorial Auditorium May 2

“

How does anyone end up in any form of legislature without having read the Constitution to know that you can’t make the Bible your state book?”

Editor’s Note: This is an excerpt from a much longer interview. Read the full interview with more questions and surprising answers at chattanoogapulse.com Most Chattanoogans know Lewis Black as the quick-to-agitate comic wildly pointing his fingers as he rants about the latest cultural or political lunacy during his regular appearances on “The Daily Show.” He’s seemingly always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Since those “Daily Show” segments, Black has continued a prolific career as author, actor and comic with two Grammy Award-

winning comedy albums, starring in several specials on HBO and EPIX and voicing the character Anger in the upcoming Pixar film “Inside Out.” Black will return to the Tivoli Theater on Saturday, May 2, bringing “The Rant Is Due: Part Deux” tour to town. We recently had a chance to speak with him about religion, politics and his love for Southern food.

The Pulse: Was there a point in your personal life that unleashed mike mcjunkin the anger, or did your colicky childhood provide the perfect setup and you just went with it?

Lewis Black: Well, it started when I was a kid. I was 9 and they would tell me to get under a wooden desk in case of a nuclear attack. I mean, seriously? There was this tremendous documentary about migrant workers called “Harvest of Shame.” I was about 11 or 12 and I would see this and think “Really?

These people pick our food, and we treat them like shit?” It made me angry.

Then there was the mid ’60s and I watched the civil rights movement on TV and again I’m thinking, “What are you doing? You don’t treat people like this.”

TP: I know you’re familiar with how far right Southern politics can lean. Are the audiences here as receptive as in other parts of the country?

LB: The audiences in the South have been terrific to me. But there are people there who are still living through the past. It’s like

Rave

4 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

watching dinosaurs die; you’re hearing their final moans. I mean, how does anyone end up in any form of legislature without having read the Constitution to know that you can’t make the Bible your state book?

TP: Going a completely different direction, I have to ask: Are you a fan of Southern food?

LB: I love Southern food.

In fact, if I lived down there I would weigh 500 pounds. Biscuits and gravy, fried green tomatoes and now we can have fried green tomatoes with bacon and a fried egg, I mean…well, sure. Why not?

TP: Last year you did a tour in Europe. Since so much of your material is based around culture and politics, how do audiences outside the US react to your show?

LB: I was in Sweden, Norway, Holland, Belgium and Ireland. They get it. They watch us as if we’re some sort of really f***ed-up reality show.

•••• For tour information, visit therantisdue.com. Become a part of the Frustrated Union of Cynical Kindreds Universal fan club, watch videos of shows live shows and suggest rants for Lewis (as if he needs help).

EdiToon

by Rick Baldwin

HOME GAMES

Here Will Be Dragons—For A Good Cause Sleek vessels with the heads of mythical flying beasts will again be stalking a nearby waterway… because this Saturday, May 2, the TVA Park at the Chickamauga Dam will be full of dragon boats, ready to row in the Ninth Annual Children’s Hospital Dragon Boat Festival. Sinews will be straining, drums will be pounding, and supporters will be yelling, as the rowers push their boats to

become this year’s Gold winner.

For the past few years, Children’s Hospital at Erlanger has been holding this allday event to raise money, allowing children to have the medical care they need. During the festival, community and corporate teams race in Hong Kong-style boats, all 46 feet long, causing great exhilaration for both paddlers and onlookers.

The event involves, as the Children’s

IN THIS ISSUE

Steven W. Disbrow Steven W. Disbrow is a computer programmer by profession who specializes in e-commerce and mobile systems development. But wait, there’s more.

Much more. He’s also an entrepreneur, comic-book nerd, writer, improviser, actor, sometime television personal-

Hospital Foundation says, “excitement, friendly competition, and community spirit surrounding the sport.”

Participants must be at least 15 years old, but any person fitting the age requirements can enter, regardless of physique and natural talent.

The goal is to raise $200,000 and each team has set a goal of $4,000, so if you want to help a good cause, pick your dragon and put your money down!

For more information, please check out the official website at paddleforchildrenshospital.org — Gavin Gaither

Thu, Apr. 30 • 7:15 PM vs. Jacksonville Thirsty Thursday

Fri, May 1 • 7:15 PM vs. Jacksonville

Fireworks • Star Wars Night

Sat, May 2 • 7:15 PM vs. Jacksonville

Harmon Killebrew Bobblehead

Sun, May 3 • 2:15 PM vs. Jacksonville Bike to the Park

Mon, May 4 • 7:15 PM vs. Jacksonville

Halfway to Halloween

Matt Jones ity and parent of two human children. He’s anxiously awaiting the results of the experiment that will prove whether or not the universe is a massive simulation. If it is, he’d like to have a chat with the idiot that coded the bits where we kill each other for no damn good reason. Along with various cover stories, his “Just A Theory” column on all things science runs monthly here in The Pulse. Watch out, Neil deGrasse Tyson!

Longtime crossword creator Matt Jones' first crossword appeared in the New York Times two decades ago, all the way back in 1994, making him one of the first teens published by legendary editor Will Shortz. Since then, his puzzles have appeared

in print and online, and he has created almost 700 crosswords for the weekly syndicate Jonesin' Crossword.

He's most recently finishing up a crowdfunded book of freestyle crosswords with barred grids instead of black squares. He's published two other compilations, "Jonesin' Crosswirds" in 2004 and "Jonesin' for Crosswords" in 2009, which holds a perfect five-star rating on Amazon.

He lives in Portland, Oregon. chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 5

COVER STORY

Cha Ha Ha! A brief history of comedy in Chattanooga

By Steven W. Disbrow

“

I

f you say the word, “comedy” ’round here, chances are the assumption will be you’re talking about The Comedy Catch. That’s understandable, because, as of this year, the ’Catch has been putting comics on stage for 30 years.

The Comedy Catch gave a stable home to lots of local comics looking to get into the business and hone their craft via ‘Open Mic Night.’”

With that anniversary in mind, as well as the upcoming relocation of the Comedy Catch from Brainerd to downtown, we decided to take a look at the last 30 years of comedy here in Chattanooga.

Honestly, before The Comedy Catch opened in 1985, there weren’t many places to see comedy in town. Of course, there was the occasional comedy at The Little Theater or the Backstage Dinner Theater, and I suppose Harry Thornton’s talk show with Judy Corn was funny if you were a shut-in. But if you wanted stand-up comedy, you were basically out of luck. Sure, there was the occasional show in a bar around, but there was no place to go for a regular stand-up comedy show.

That changed in 1985 when comedians Ken Sons and Les McCurdy (a.k.a.

“The Bermuda Mavericks” comedy duo) opened up The Comedy Catch inside “Dr. Sage’s Lounge,” high atop the Holiday Inn in the Golden Gateway.

If you remember the ’80s, you’ll remember that a nationwide stand-up comedy boom was happening during that decade. As a result, the original ’Catch location quickly became too small for the crowds it was drawing. So, Les and Ken moved the location from downtown through the Brainerd tunnels to the current location.

Right about this time, a young DJ from New Jersey, Michael Alfano, and his wife Cheryl, were looking to start

6 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

their own business. It’s a story that sounds very familiar in Chattanooga these days; during one of many trips around the country (going from one radio gig to another), the Alfanos passed through Chattanooga, liked what they saw, and made an effort to move here.

A short while after settling in town, they found out that Ken and Les were looking to take on some partners in the ’Catch.

It was at this point that Michael’s mother, Dolly, gave him some advice that would change his life: “The worst thing you could do is have a business partner.” She also loaned the young couple the money needed to buy out The Mavericks, and the Alfanos became sole owners of The Comedy Catch. (Dolly would also join her son here in Chattanooga and became a fixture behind the bar at the ’Catch over the years. Speak with any comic that worked there during her tenure and they’ll have at least one great story to tell you. Sadly, she passed away not too long ago.)

Of course, any economic boom can be a double-edged sword. It was just a few years later, in 1989, that Chattanooga got its second full-time comedy club, The Funny Pages. Located further away from downtown, near Eastgate, The Funny Pages began to compete with the ’Catch for Chattanooga’s comedy dollar, and it nearly killed them.

Remember, this was the late ’80s.

There was no Facebook or Twitter or even an Internet that could be used to spread the word for free. The Funny Pages ate into the ’Catch’s business so much that, at one point, the Alfanos had to hand out free tickets at Hamilton Place just to fill the room. According to Michael, “[The Funny Pages] knocked us down. We were just gettin’ the ball rolling…We went out to Hamilton Place and just stood there and handed out free tickets.”

But all those free tickets paid off. The Funny Pages closed relatively quickly, and when no other venue opened to take its place, The Comedy Catch quickly became the local 800-pound gorilla of comedy. And things stayed this way pretty much all the way through the ’90s. That’s not a bad thing, however, as it gave a stable comedy “home” to lots of local comics (including yours truly) looking to get into the business and hone their craft via “Open Mic Night.”

As the new millennium rolled around, the comedy landscape shifted again with the opening of The Vaudeville Cafe on the North Shore. When it first opened, the Vaudeville wasn’t focused solely on comedy, though: They had singing waiters, a piano bar and, just one night a week, a “Murder Mystery.”

If you’ve never been to a murder mystery, the concept is pretty simple: While you enjoy a nice meal, a group of actors play out a comedic whodunit in

the room with you. While some shows of this type take place entirely on stage, removed from the audience, the Vaudeville folks do things a little differently. The characters will come into the crowd and interact with the audience, even going so far as to sit and eat with them, or bring them on stage to be in the show. It’s a pretty unique combination of scripted (skit), stand-up and improvisation that proved to be a huge hit.

In fact, it was such a hit that soon the singing waiters and other things were being phased out in favor of putting on multiple murder mysteries every week.

Nowadays, The Vaudeville Cafe is exclusively murder mysteries and the shows were so successful that they moved from the North Shore to the corner of 2nd and Market Streets. (The Vaudeville had stand-up comedy for a couple of years, but, according to owner Chris Hampton, it wasn’t a good fit. So they went back to just doing murder mysteries.)

Fast-forward to 2009, and 22-year-old Joel Ruiz and some friends begin putting on their own comedy shows in various (very) small venues around town. According to Ruiz, the “alt room comedy” shows started as a bit of a lark. “I had some friends [who were stand-up comics] come visit from L.A. and they wanted to do a comedy show in town but couldn’t find anywhere to do it. So they got set up by a friend at the Chattanooga Billiards Club downtown’s side room and ended

up selling the place out.”

After this initial success, these alt-comedy shows began to take place in smaller rooms all over the city: The Office, Barking Legs, Ziggy’s, Rhapsody Cafe and JJ's Bohemia have all seen their share.

While these shows still pop up at other venus from time to time, JJ's Bohemia is now the place where you’re most likely to find one.

While the main goal of these shows is to give local comics much-needed stage time to work on their material, they’ve also managed to bring some big names to town, including Doug Stanhope and Kyle Kinane. Ruiz has recently moved to Atlanta, and handed the production of the shows over to Ryan Darling.

Which brings us up to today, more or less.

There were other comedy-type events happening while all of the above was going on. The Chattanooga Theatre Center, for example, has been producing terrific comedies for its 90-plus years of existence.

The Backstage Dinner Theater put on tons of shows during its time, including several comedies that my mother dragged me to in my youth. After it shut down, and became the Encore Theater, it was home to even more funny shows.

In its current incarnation as the Ripple Theater, its very first show was one of the most famous comedies ever written, Shakespeare’s “ A Midsummer Night’s

Dream.”

Over the past decade or so, improv comedy (like you would see on TV’s “Whose Line Is It Anyway?”) has become very popular, and Chattanooga is no slouch in that department either. We’ve got a bunch of great improv troupes here in town (several of which I happen to be in) and you can catch at least one great improv show in town every week.

The Mellow Mushroom downtown has a show every Tuesday, and the Ensemble Theater of Chattanooga has one on the second Saturday of each month.

Heck, there’s even a talented young man named Dakota Brown that’s been writing and producing his very own old-time comedy radio show/podcast for the last few years. It’s called “Horace Kentucky’s Chronal Detective Agency” and you can find it on iTunes if you want to give it a listen. (It’s funny!)

So, what does the future hold for comedy in Chattanooga? Well, the Vaudeville Cafe just recently completed a move to a brand-new location. And, as mentioned at the beginning of this article, The Comedy Catch is going to be moving to a new location inside the renovated Choo Choo early this summer.

The very heart of comedy is surprise.

So there’s no telling what the future holds for us here in Chattanooga. But I’m willing to bet our town’s punchline is going to be even better, and funnier, than the last 30 years.

“

Over the past decade or so, improv comedy has become very popular, and Chattanooga is no slouch in that department.”

chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 7

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Basics of Buttermilk An old favorite is still a delicious ingredient

“

I was never really bewildered by the taste of cornbread and buttermilk—it is surprisingly delicious and a genetically determined comfort food for a native Southerner.

Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits

Growing up, I would always would curdle and sour quickwatch with a bit of mild fascily, so most butter ended up nation as my father crumbled being made from slightly leftover cornbread into a bowl soured milk. This resulted in of ice-cold buttermilk. Desome people using the word spite how knee-bucklingly “buttermilk” to describe this good my mother’s two-inchbyproduct of butter-making. thick, cast-iron skillet cornOthers would use the word to bread was, describe the there were most comalways leftmon, main overs, and ingredient these leftin butterovers would making at inevitably bethe time: MIKE McJUNKIN come part of soured milk. this odd Appalachian Captain Still others would start the Crunch before day’s end. butter-making process with I was never really bewilfresh cream and end up with dered by the taste of corna byproduct they called butbread and buttermilk—it is termilk as well. surprisingly delicious and a This meant that prior to genetically determined comthe 20th century, “buttermilk” fort food for a native Southcould refer to either soured erner. What puzzled my old milk, or a sour or sweet byyoung brain were the ingrediproduct of the butter-making ents themselves, specifically process. the buttermilk. If you’ve ever The only people in Westtaken a swig of this enigmatic ern Europe and America who dairy decoction, you know it drank any of these forms of is definitely not just a combibuttermilk were poor farmers nation of butter and milk. So, and slaves who couldn’t afwhat in the name of St. Marford to waste anything, while tha’s apron is buttermilk? everyone else fed this butterButtermilk has been around byproduct to farm animals. as long as people have been Around the 1800s, cookmaking butter. Originally, books started including the buttermilk was simply the liqsour version of buttermilk uid left over when cream was in baking recipes that called churned into butter. Since alfor baking soda. The acid in most all of the milk and cream the buttermilk was perfect we currently buy is pasteurfor neutralizing the newly ized, the bacteria that used to introduced baking soda beferment the resulting buttering marketed as a faster and milk and give it its signature more reliable substitute for sourness gets killed off. This yeast. About the same time, means the buttermilk we buy Ashkenazi Jews from Central at the grocery store has been and Eastern Europe began cultured by adding live lactic immigrating to the country acid bacteria to low-fat milk. in large numbers and brought Prior to refrigeration, milk with them an appreciation of

Sushi & Biscuits

soured milk.

In part because of modern refrigeration, naturally soured milk became rare.

This prompted commercial dairy producers to start making it themselves by injecting live lactic acid bacteria into low-fat milk (because it was cheaper). By the 1920s, buttermilk much like what we find in supermarkets today was being sold in stores all over the US. Between a new generation of bakers and a large European immigrant population, cultured buttermilk sales rose to over 1,100 million pounds annually by the ’60s. Sadly, buttermilk sales have since plummeted to the point that yogurt has instead become the cultured-milk product de jour.

Although these days, buttermilk is increasingly hard to find north of the Mason-Dix-

on Line, here in the South it is still hanging on. Some people still drink it straight, but more often cooks will add it to recipes in place of milk or sour cream in pancake, bread and other baked recipes—including, of course, our beloved Southern buttermilk biscuits.

If you’re a do-it-yourselfer like me, a tangy version of buttermilk can be made by adding a teaspoon of vinegar or lemon juice to regular milk, then letting the mixture sit for 10 minutes to curdle. It won’t contain any live bacterial cultures, but it may save you a trip to the grocery store if you open your fridge and realize someone made buttermilk and cornbread with the last of your stash.

As a bonus, here is my second favorite thing (right after biscuits) to do with buttermilk (without an ice cream maker):

Lemon-Buttermilk Sorbet • 2 cups sugar • 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice • 1 tablespoon grated lemon zest • 4 cups buttermilk Stir sugar, lemon juice and zest in a medium-size, freezersafe bowl. Add buttermilk and stir until the sugar dissolves.

Place in the freezer. After an hour, remove the container from the freezer and stir vigorously, mixing the frozen parts around the sides in with the rest. Return to the freezer. Repeat every hour until you have delicious sorbet! chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 9

ARTS SCENE

A Little Slice of Latin America Festival also draws attention to ESOL/ABE classes at St. Andrews Center

Check Your Expectations At The Door The Floor Is YOURS bends genres at Barking Legs Theater There’s one time and one place in this town where you’ll always be entertained, maybe moved, possibly surprised—or even outraged. But you won’t be bored. And that time is the first Friday evening of the month and the place is Barking Legs Theater.

BLT’s long-running “Wide Open Floor” night, which featured everything from short films, dance, improv, way-out-there music, and in-your-face spoken word, got a reboot, and continues under the new moniker “The Floor Is YOURS.” Artists of all ilk sign up for that evening’s show and audiences never know just what they’re going to see and hear. Which is why it’s fun.

This Friday, May 2, the night is hosted by self-described “poetryspewing black woman” Erika Blackmon, whose association with both Wide Open Floor and other BLT performances has always been artistically explosive.

Is “The Floor Is Yours” the perfect date night? That so depends on you—and your date.

— Janis Hashe The Floor Is YOURS Friday, 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org facebook.com/TFIYBLT

Thu4.30

fri5.1

sat5.2

art + issues

quick theater

anger issues

“Ending The Clash By Bringing Backgrounds Together”

“An Evening of TenMinute Plays”

Lewis Black: The Rant is Due: Part Deux

The first-year students in the Professional Actor Training Program take the stage. Adults only.

7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theater 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 chattanoogastate.edu

Read the full interview with Lewis Black on our website and then catch the show and find out why he's so popular.

8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com

Come explore the real meaning of diversity in Chattanooga through the work of Gajin Fujita.

6 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

10 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

P

upusas, empanadas, tamales, live music, folk dancing, a soccer tournament: Next Saturday, May 2, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., a long-awaited dream will come true. Neighbors will join in a block-party style Latin Festival enlivening the Highland Park Commons all day with the flavors and sounds of Latin American culture.

Arts whitni mcdonald

“

Neighbors will join in a blockparty style Latin Festival enlivening the Highland Park Commons all day with the flavors and sounds of Latin American culture.”

Gladys Pineda-Loher’s vision has caught fire and spread among the dedicated staff and students of weekly English language (ESOL) and Adult Basic Education (ABE) courses in the St. Andrews Center near the corner of Union and Willow. It is the first time the proceeds from a neighborhood event will directly benefit the St. Andrews campus of the Chattanooga State Adult Education program.

For the last 16 years, adult education courses have been offered at St. Andrews as a free service to Chattanooga’s immigrant population; however, many Chattanoogans remain unaware that St. Andrews is a site for Chatt State’s Adult Ed. The building’s proximity to neighborhoods like Highland Park, where many of the Guatemalan and other Latino language students live and work makes it a more workable facility for the ESOL courses than the alternative commute to the East Campus.

Recently, I began teaching an ESOL course two evenings per week at St. Andrews, and I know most of my students have children and full-time jobs, making the classes a challenge on multiple levels. If they had to drive out to the Bonny Oaks area for classroom space, it would certainly limit many students’ ability to participate. They are a highly committed group, and have taught me just as much about their experiences and culture as I have taught them in English language

coursework. In preparation for the Latin Festival, we’ve been discussing the plans in class.

At the ground level, Pineda-Loher has been pushing for a Latin cultural celebration in Chattanooga ever since she relocated from Knoxville in 2009, after successfully establishing a Latin Festival tradition there. As a first step toward raising awareness and partnerships for diversity among the business community, she launched the International Business Council for the Chamber of Commerce.

Her passion is to assist the immigrant population of Chattanooga in integrating fully with our city’s cultural life, as well as demonstrating to long-time residents the richness of diversity our Latino neighbors bring. At Chattanooga State, she’s helped to grow the Cultural Ambassadors and International Achievers program, a locus for much of the energy behind the upcoming Latin Festival.

Pineda-Loher told me her driving motive for the festival was the simple question: “What’s being done to connect everybody?” She recognized that nothing large and cohesive was really happening. The Global Culture Fest that took place last fall was a start, but the larger goal has always been to host grassroots events in the very neighborhoods they benefit.

As Pineda-Loher puts it, “It was important for the Latin Festival to have a meaningful mission behind it. This is not just about a party. We’re helping to create pathways for education and integration. It’s about educating the community at large about diversity.”

She is grateful for a host of support-

ive foundations making the festival possible, but especially the Benwood Foundation, which caught the vision for Latin Fest early on, and has been the festival’s most vigorous backer.

The energy behind the festival is contagious. For her part, Chattanooga State Adult Education Director Suzanne Elston is thrilled. The spotlight Latin Fest will shine on the dedicated teachers in the St. Andrews ESOL and ABE programs already feels like a boost. She explained further, “Over the years we’ve been working to develop a long-term way of assisting funding for adult education. We have an expanding program with increasing need, and we hope this will be the first annual and something we’ll continue for years to come.”

From my own limited experience teaching alongside dedicated ESOL instructors, I agree that it is heartening to have a celebration where our students’ cultures will take center stage.

It’s amazing to me how eager these busy students are to learn all they can about the American language and culture. They are constantly fascinated and curious when I share about the parks, music, history, and customs I love and sometimes take for granted.

The real magic of a healthy city shines through when that curiosity flows in both directions, and we take the time to learn from one another.

The Latin Festival features ongoing music, dance, cuisine, and kidfriendly events throughout the Saturday. The full event schedule and list of sponsors can be found on the Latin Fest Facebook page, facebook.com/ events/194999177340284/

s i d n k e Wee last ! a r t C B Ar a e b t o Goin g .. . y d a e Get R Thursday April

30

Set..

Flashlight Shows Benefit concert @Barking Legs Featuring Sales and Special Guest, The Mailboxes.

Doors Open 8pm, $10 Art Car Tailgate Party & Parade in the Majestic 12 Parking Lot. Tailgate starts 9am, Parade to Main rolls @ 1pm

Saturday May

9

GO! Saturday May

9

The Art Car Fire Ball in the Craftworks Lot 220 W. Main Street. Gate Opens @ 8pm with Special guest

Chattanooga Fire you ired Cabaret. 18 & up r a We i n s p u n Like ART120 on FB & if re ire or f s!

Follow @art120org on t t t i a Twitter for more details tf ou es rb

t

chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 11

Gardening Workshops, Tours & Demonstrations Make-N-Take Gardening Projects Live music, kid’s activities and fun for the whole family!

Memorial Day through Labor day

With the 7 States View as your backdrop, tickle your ears with toe-tapping old-time, bluegrass, country, and folk music.

Unbeatable when combined with delectable food from Café 7! Be sure to see the Rock City Raptors soar above the Critter Classroom!

For more info call: 1.800.854.0675

ARTS CALENDAR

May 9 & 10

Open Studio Night

thursday4.30 “Ease into Yoga: Bring the Joy Back to Paddling” 5:30 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Art + Issues: “Ending The Clash By Bringing Backgrounds Together” 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Argentinian Wine Makers Dinner 6:30 p.m.

Porter’s Steakhouse 827 Broad St. (423) 643-1240 panoramimports.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com

friday5.1 Armed Forces Day Parade 10:30 a.m.

Downtown Chattanooga Market St. (423) 762-1816 chattareaveterans.com Opening Reception: “Change is Good”

12 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

5 p.m.

In-Town Gallery 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Open Studio Night 5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Workspace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com “Night at the Museum” 6 p.m.

Museum Center at Five Points 200 Inman St. (423) 339-5745 museumcenter.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com

Pulse Pick: Mike Speenburg He’s been called "The Inner Voice of His Generation" aand has been featured on everything from The Paul Harvey Radio Show to The Weather Channel.

Mike Speenburg The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycathc.om

“Miss Nelson Is Missing” 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “An Evening of TenMinute Plays” 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theater 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 chattanoogastate.edu Mike Speenburg 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com "The Floor Is YOURS" 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave.

(423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

saturday5.2 “Waking Up with the Birds” 7:30 a.m.

Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Breakfast on the Bridge 8 a.m.

Walnut Street Bridge 1 Walnut St. (423) 756-2787 artsbuild.com Children’s Hospital Dragon Boat Festival 8 a.m.

TVA Park at Chickamauga Dam 3001 Kings Rd. (423) 778-3989 paddleforchildrenshospital.org Day Out With Thomas 8:30 a.m.

TN Valley Railroad Museum 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Latino Family Festival 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319

chattzoo.org “The M Play” 10:30 a.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Water Quality Cruise 12:30 p.m.

River Gorge Explorer 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 785-4135 tnaqua.org Eastgate Saturday Cinema: “Big Hero 6” 2:30 p.m.

Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd. (423) 855-2689 chattlibrary.org “Miss Nelson Is Missing” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Fred Astaire Fables Performance 7 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4371 utc.edu “Requiem for the Living” Premiere 7 p.m.

First Baptist Church of Chattanooga 506 E. 8th St. (706) 419-1416 choralartsofchattanooga.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com “An Evening of TenMinute Plays” 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theater 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 chattanoogastate.edu Mike Speenburg 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Lewis Black: The Rant is Due: Part Deux 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com

sunday5.3 Day Out With Thomas 8:30 a.m.

TN Valley Railroad Museum 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com Chattanooga Market 11 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com 8th Annual Chocolate Fling & VIP Brunch Fundraiser 11:30 a.m.

The Chattanoogan 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 838-0113 epilepsy-setn.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 2:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com “Miss Nelson Is Missing” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Mike Speenburg 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday5.4 Acrylic Class 4 p.m.

Reflections Gallery 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgallerytn.com Monday Night Vintage Swing Dance 7 p.m.

Clear Spring Yoga 17 N. Market St. (931) 982-1678 Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley

ARTS CALENDAR

8th Annual Chocolate Fling (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com

tuesday5.5 Cinco de Mayo & National Teacher Appreciation Day 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org

wednesday5.6 Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jackson Generals 7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Wednesday Night Jazz 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org “Rifftrax Live: The Room” 8 p.m.

East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace, East Ridge (423) 855-9652 carmike.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth” World Reviewer

423.821.2544 RubyFalls.com Open Saturdays and Sundays!

423.821.2544

RubyFallsZip.com

chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 13

MUSIC SCENE

Song Stories Back In The Spotlight Full Metal Media works hard to give local bands their killer video moments

A

Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver

Fiddle-De-Doo-Dah Boxcar Pinion Bluegrass Festival rocks Raccoon Mt. She’ll be comin’ round the mountain… for this year’s Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival. The three-day festival is Thursday, April 30 through Saturday, May 2. Get ready for some world-class fiddlin’ and pickin’.

The stage show times start at noon each day, ending at 10 p.m. on Thursday and 11 p.m. on Friday and Saturday. But the fun doesn’t have to stop then. The festival happens at Raccoon Mountain Campground.

Bring your tent or RV and camp out with fellow bluegrass lovers.

The three days will be filled with major musical talent, including Norman Blake, Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver, Crowe Brothers, Fletcher

Bright & The Dismembered Tennesseans, Russell Moore & IIIrd Tyme Out, Sideline, Lone Mountain Band, Eddie Rose & Highway 40, The Fritts Family, Kevin Prater Band and The Hamilton County Ramblers.

Ticket price for the whole festival is $85. But if you can only make it to one day, Thursday is $20, Friday is $30, and Saturday is $35. And with this full line-up, you’ll be sure to get your bluegrass fix.

For a full list of bands and the stage schedule, check out boxcarforeverbluegrass.com.

Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival, Raccoon Mountain Campground & RV Park, 319 W. Hills Dr. — Kristina Kelly

thu4.30

fri5.1

SAT5.2

melodic chill

album rock

underground

Flashlight Shows presents SALES

Black Jacket Symphony

Scenic, The Empress, Nosecone Prophets, Seizer

An electronic pop duo from Orlando who write really chill, melodically delicious tracks. Prepare to be blessed and impressed.

8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

Super popular and super talented group presents two complete albums live: The Who's "Who's Next" and The Beatles' "Abbey Road" in a show for fans of all ages.

8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com

Another Saturday night, and chance to rock out till your ears ache with a great lineup of in-yourface rock and roll.

8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

14 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

s a general rule this space is reserved for me to talk about local musicians; their music, their upcoming gigs, their new releases, and so on. In a larger sense though, my raison d’etre is to promote the Chattanooga music scene as a whole— which is why this week I have elected to tell you about a couple of fellows whose business specifically caters to and supports that scene.

More on them in a bit. First, some history is in order.

Music marc t. michael

“

This is a new age, a digital age, in which the rise of the internet and social media has brought about a resurgence of the music video.”

Music videos were a thing long before the advent of MTV. Most of the time it was concert footage, but the “story format” video existed as well (think “Bat Out of Hell,” “Paradise Garage,” or “Space Oddity”). They were promotional tools, but to a large degree they were novelties; there simply weren’t enough good outlets for them (not in America, anyway).

Then came 1981 and the advent of Music Television which played music videos twenty-four hours a day. Yes, kids, I know, but that’s how it was in the beginning.

This led to a lot of really terrible videos, of course. Billy Squier absolutely wrecked a promising career with one (watch the video for “Rock Me Tonite” and you’ll understand). There was some genius too, though, and a video could have just as much artistic punch as the music it was meant to sell. Suddenly bands that had been receiving virtually no radio play were selling records like gangbusters. Men at Work, for instance.

Yet even as the money spent on production went up, quality and interest waned.

Videos never faded away completely, but the golden age was over. This is a new age, however, a digital age, in which the rise of the internet and social media has brought about a resurgence of the music video. Moreover, advances in technology have driven down the cost of production, until even local and regional acts can af-

ford to put out a professional piece of work. And that brings us to Chris Campbell and Nate Peckinpaugh, owners and operators of Full Metal Media.

Already familiar names from their band, The Average, the duo has been working behind the scenes in an altogether different capacity for some time.

Nate explains, “We started working with video out of necessity, a way of getting our music out there. At the time there really wasn’t anyone doing a lot of music-related video work in the area and the ones that would do it were way out of our [price] range, so we just decided to buy our own cameras and change our majors in college.”

He continued, “We are hoping to encourage the Chattanooga music scene to take music videos and live performance videos more seriously, as we have seen the benefits within our own band. We have seen how much more our attention our music gets when it is paired with video, and the artists that we have worked with say the same. One of the videos we did

German-American BrewPub

224 Frazier Ave • brewhausbar.com

for Ryan Oyer was included in a Fuse TV segment they did on him.”

It would seem the fellows are already making a name for themselves, boasting such clients as Endelouz, Nick Lutsko, SOCRO, Scenic, and Strung Like a Horse, to name a few.

Their website is currently under construction, so the fellows are asking people to find them on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube (where some great examples of their work are already on display).

Their work is quality, their rates are extremely competitive. Given those factors and the rise in popularity of the music video, every band should be adding this to their arsenal of promotional tools. Otherwise, kids, you’re just leaving money on the table.

Featured: Spaetzle entrée with vinegar slaw and brussels sprouts w/bacon marmalade

Shani hedden Palmer & Sweet lowdown

Music Sharp Enough To Wake The Dead Nashville supergroup The Dead Deads return to Chattanooga May 8 at Rhythm & Brews, marking their first appearance at that venue. The show is of special significance to two of the band members, Chattanooga’s own Wolf sisters, Leticia and Mandy.

“That place is always home to me.

I’ve written songs about it! Now I’m gonna land my spaceship in it and all my friends are gonna jump out and melt the walls,” said Leticia.

The Dead Deads, who completed their first national tour last December, have garnered critical acclaim and serious industry attention for their music/stage show that, frankly speaking, can’t be compared to anything else happening today. Chuck Garric, bass player for Alice Cooper, had this to say of their act: “I don’t care where you live, you

must go see this band The Dead Deads. I felt like I walked into CBGB 1979 the way rock used to be!

The Dead Deads are the real deal.”

Punk, metal, grunge and alternative collide to form the basis of the band’s sound, while their high-energy stage presence is full of dark humor and joyful weirdness. It seems likely that Bootsy Collins, The Breeders and David Johansen (along with many others) have contributed something to the razor-sharp lovechild that is The Dead Deads.

The Dead Deads are headlining the upcoming show, the featured artist is sElf and the enigmatic Danimal Pinson will be opening that evening.

Collectively, this promises to be one of the most incredible collections of talent under one roof, anywhere.

— MTM

Monday, May 4 @ 7pm: Finch’s Pint Night Tuesday, May 5 @ 7pm: Will Heaven Pint Night and Trivia Wednesday, May 6 Duck Rabbit Pint Night Live Music with Danimal @ 6:30pm Running for Brews @ 7pm

Thursday, May 7th 7pm at the MACC

FREE

Local well known artist singing Patsy Cline, Etta James, Jo Stafford, Keely Smith and many others.

Mountain Arts Community Center • 809 Kentucky Ave, Signal Mountain, TN For more information visit our website at signalmacc.org chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 15

LIVE MUSIC

MAY

1 MICHAEL RAY SAT 9P 2 UPTOWN BIG BAND TUE 8p 5 THE DEAD DEADS FRI 10p 8 BACKUP PLANET SAT 9:30P 9 THU WRENNPOP 9p 14 SAME AS IT EVER WAS FRI 10p 15 SLIPPERY WHEN WET FRI 9p A TRIBUTE TO BON JOVI

FREE SHOW

with THE TEN BARTRAM GIRLS

BIG TIME CINCO DE MAYO PARTY! with sElf and DANIMAL PLANET with HIGHER LEARNING

ATHENS, GA’S “QUEEN OF POP”

A TRIBUTE TO THE TALKING HEADS

5.16 RUBIKS GROOVE 5.20 CAROLINE ROSE 5.22 SMOOTH DIALECTS

COMING SOON

MATT STEPHENS

SAT

THE

PARTY FROM BEGINNING TO END! 9p

23

COMMUNICATORS FRI 9p 30

PRESENT: THAT 90'S SHOW

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Voodoo Visionary

thursday4.30 Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival Noon Raccoon Mountain Campground 319 W. Hills Dr. boxcarforeverbluegrass.com Larry Fleet 5:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Feel It Thursday Open Mic 7 p.m.

Mocha Restaurant & Music Lounge 511 Broad St. mochajazz.net Jesse James & Tim Neal 7 p.m.

Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 CSO: “Rachmaninoff’s 2nd” 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Flashlight Shows presents SALES 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Shabti, Voodoo Visionary, Freejam 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Open Mic with Hap

16 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

friday5.1 United States Navy Band 10 a.m.

Downtown Chattanooga 503 Market St. facebook.com/chattatparade Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival Noon Raccoon Mountain Campground 319 W. Hills Dr. boxcarforeverbluegrass.com Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Pulse Pick: Dana Rogers Dana Rogers’ musical style is an American mosaic of acoustic finger-style jazz, folk and blues. A fan once told Dana that her voice “…is like steel-reinforced velvet. Smooth and strong.”

Dana Rogers 12:30 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com American Dream Concert: Corey Smith, Remembering January 6:45 p.m.

Engel Stadium 1130 E. 3rd St. engelfoundation.com Chattanooga Acoustic Showcase 7 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Dead 27’s 7 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Nick Lutsko, John & Jacob 7 p.m.

Nightfall Concert Series Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Black Jacket Symphony: “Who’s Next” and “Abbey Road” 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com FMLYBND, Nim Nims 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com The Floor is YOURS 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Roughwork 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com John Lathim 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Something Else 9 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Slippery When Wet: A Tribute to Bon Jovi 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

saturday5.2 Boxcar Pinion Memorial Bluegrass Festival Noon Raccoon Mountain Campground 319 W. Hills Dr. boxcarforeverbluegrass.com Dana Rogers 12:30 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 chattanoogarivermarket.com Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Something Else 6 p.m.

Las Margaritas 4604 Skyview Dr. (423) 892-3065 SBI Records Artist Competition 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com No Big Deal

8 p.m.

Waterhouse Pavilion 850 Market St. chattanoogaroomintheinn.com Scenic, The Empress, Nosecone Prophets, Seizer 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Roughwork 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Michael Ray, The Ten Bartram Girls 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Chris Ryan & Marty Adams 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Uptown Big Band 10 p.m.

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church 305 W. 7th St. stpaulschatt.org

sunday5.3 Play Along With The CSO 11 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 648-2496 chattanoogamarket.com Function: with a “C” 11:30 a.m.

Chattanoogan Hotel

1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775

monday5.4 CSO: Youth Orchestra’s Spring Concert 7 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Mic 7 p.m.

Magoo’s Restaurant 3658 Ringgold Rd. facebook.com/MagoosTN

tuesday5.5 Something Else 6 p.m.

Las Margaritas 4604 Skyview Dr. (423) 892-3065 Bill McCallie, In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Nashvile Star Karaoke Competition 7 p.m.

MUSIC CALENDAR

Michael Ray

Sing It or Wing It 410 Market St. (423) 757-WING Rick’s Blues Jam 7 p.m.

Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Uptown Big Band 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

wednesday5.6 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com No Big Deal 6 p.m.

Springhill Suites Chattanooga Downtown 495 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 834-9300 Wednesday Night Jazz 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Blues Night 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

901 Carter St. Inside City Cafe (423) 634-9191

Thursday, April 30: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, May 1: 9pm John Lathim Saturday, May 2: 10pm Chris Ryan & Marty Adams Tuesday, May 5: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

Wednesday, May 6: 8pm Blues Night feat. Yatti Westfiel Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

citycafemenu.com/the-office

daily lunch & drink specials!

Nashville star KaraoKe CompetitioN every tuesday iN may!

call & book a monday night private party!

410 market • (423) 757-wing

singitorwingit-chattanooga.com

Every Wednesday 4pm-6pm

Locally & Sustainably Raised Foods 325 East Main Street on Chattanooga’s Southside mainstfarmersmarket.com

chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 17

Record Reviews

ERNIE PAIK

Spontaneous Scampering, Beautiful Hypnosis Since 1982

Shipp Chamber Ensemble adventures, Inamoud entrances

Matthew Shipp Chamber Ensemble The Gospel According to Matthew & Michael (Relative Pitch)

T

DON’T CHANCE IT YOUR NEXT DRINK COULD BE YOUR LAST STAY ALIVE DON’T DRINK & DRIVE

he title and group name of the latest Matthew Shipp release may be misleading—although Shipp’s trio is billed as a chamber ensemble, it’s not playing classical pieces as one might expect, and there’s little evidence of any gospel or markedly spiritual influences, despite being called The Gospel According to Matthew & Michael.

The album is 15 chapters of fascinating free-form improvisations in the realm of adventurous jazz, rocketing away from the routine head / solo / head / solo / lather / rinse / repeat formula. While some moments are far removed from any traditional notion of jazz, beyond free jazz into the nebulous free improv stratosphere, the playing is informed by the musicians’ formidable technical chops and building blocks that are crucial for creating nuanced, articulated and complicated excursions.

Simply being a great, cre-

18 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Fadimoutou Wallet Inamoud Isswat (Sahelsounds / Mississippi)

ative player isn’t enough in ensemble settings, where a weak link can easily drag down the proceedings; that’s why it’s a crucial decision for a bandleader to carefully pick his sidemen, and Shipp has assembled an outstanding trio. Bassist Michael Bisio has been a longtime collaborator with Shipp, with effortlessly captivating dialogues with Shipp’s idiosyncratic piano style, and violist Mat Maneri (son of acclaimed reedist Joe Maneri) is a great fit here, with boundless energy, curiosity and inventive string playing.

From a performance standpoint, it’s an album with diverse moments, from driving, fierce bass solos to methodically wandering piano-string plucks to violent col legno wood-on-string notes to sauntering bass lines and dexterous piano scampering; however, that’s only half the picture, and the many moods it evokes—excitement, con-

fusion, measured delicate sensitivity, shared warmth— tells more of the story.

The players seem to have an innate sense of balance, constantly listening to each other, adjusting and adding in constructive ways; it’s an organic energy pulled from thin air, like the musical equivalent of spontaneous generation.

T

he most beautifully hypnotic album heard by this writer in recent memory is from a West African ensemble in the Azawad territory, performing the music heard in nomad camps in the Sahara that goes by the generic term “isswat.”

The lead singer—a woman named Fadimoutou Wallet Inamoud—is accompanied by clapping, stomping and drumming on an upturned bowl, while male singers provide a low vocal drone and occasionally let out a piercing yell of excitement. While Inamoud is clearly an untrained vocalist, her delivery is entrancing, passionate and fluid, singing songs about burning hearts, SUVs and “devil’s love”— which is non-platonic but not necessarily sinister—peppered with metaphors that will certainly sound odd to Western audiences.

Isswat is one of two albums issued by Sahelsounds and Mississippi Records that were originally recorded in 2008, being some of the only known studio recordings of this kind

of music. Some of the tracks are songs repeated from person to person, while others are improvised and are free to ramble in compelling and unusual ways.

It might be a surprise that these acoustic songs are not centuries-old tales but are squarely set in the modern day, among modern concerns and inventions, and the translations of the Tuareg language are fascinating to read.

In “Wana L’Ancien,” possibly the most captivating moment of the album, a woman is described as having a cute smile and “better than a 4x4 Toyota.” “Adyamina” mentions revolutionaries with assault rifles, among tanks and missiles, but it also offers poetic lines like, “Love is a dry tree from which shade can be created.”

A strong theme throughout Isswat is yearning for a possibly unobtainable, handsome man; Inamoud sings “I love him more than his mother does,” in “Ahaylalou,” and another man is described as looking “sharp when he is hunting gazelles with a Toyota truck.”

The frustration of being in love with someone who is taken is conveyed as “like drinking boiled water when you are thirsty.” While we have become accustomed to the clichés of songwriting in the western world, Isswat is a refreshing, animated glimpse of tumultuous Saharan romance with a spellbinding flow.

Vodka American Style Tito’s Handmade Vodka is smooth, tasty—and Texan

“

Tito’s won out against 72 other brands and established itself as the new kid on the block with the cool accent who steals everyone’s girlfriends.”

Christopher Armstrong was born in Knoxville, Tennessee on a brisk morning in November when the stars aligned and Jupiter was visible with the naked eye.

He enjoys the changing of seasons, vinyl records, books with lots of pages and beer that is too expensive for him to ever buy.

In 1997, a Texan geologist too excessive. After successwith a thirst for liquor and a fully turning the corn into alvision for pure vodka fought cohol, Beveridge, nicknamed the law—and won. It’s hard to “Bertito” by his friends and believe, but there once was a family, called his vodka “Titime when liquor distilleries in to’s,” and began mass producAmerica weren’t as common as tion. they are today.

Tito’s Vodka Bert Beveridge caught fire (yes, that’s his around the real name) not turn of the only created current cenchristopher the first legal tury. In 2001, distillery in the armstrong at the heavily United States contested San of America since Prohibition, Francisco World Spirits Combut he also obliterated Texas’s petition, the liquor took home rulebook, and achieved access the double gold medal for by creating the first distillery “Best Vodka,” with a unaniever in the Lone Star State. mous victory. Tito’s won out According to legend, Bevagainst 72 other brands and eridge financed his company established itself as the new with 19 separate credit cards kid on the block with the cool and started his distillery with accent who steals everyone’s two Dr. Pepper kegs and a girlfriends. turkey-frying machine. He The company’s reputation must have glanced into the grew through word of mouth future and witnessed the rise and, soon enough, the busiin popularity of the glutenness that started with the ideal free lifestyle, because he used tools for Thanksgiving Day corn instead of wheat, and, and recycled soft drink kegs, with careful consideration, he grew into a 26-acre operation distilled the spirit six times. producing 850,000 bottles He thought that five wasn’t per day. With coveted awards enough, and seven would be and fresh ingredients usu-

Spirits Within

that doesn’t require a mixer.

Sip, savor and enjoy.

As the spring days turn into summer nights, celebrate Bertito Beveridge’s success with a Texas Sipper. They say everything is bigger in Texas, and that has to include their mixed drinks, right?

Pick up a bottle of Tito’s Vodka from your favorite local liquor store, mix it with your favorite elderflower liqueur, and add some grapefruit juice to this tasty and refreshing cocktail.

Top the drink off with club soda and decorate it with a mint sprig for aesthetic pleasure and toast the United States of America, where a man by the name of Beveridge can fulfill the huge burden created by his last name, and go forth to create a wholly original and affordable vodka that America can truly appreciate as its own.

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ally reserved for bank accountbouncing, high-end bottles of spirits, Beveridge slashed his prices in half and took on the competition. In 2012 alone, the company raked in nearly $85 million in profit. And yet, to this day, Beveridge insists his now-famous concoction be cooked in an old-fashioned pot still.

Along with risking everything for one great idea, and building up a company from scratch, Tito’s Vodka also prides itself on yet another true American value: dogs.

The company loves it when their employees bring their canine companions with them to work, and encourages everyone to adopt rescue dogs.

For those with no knowledge of quality vodka, the idea of drinking vodka straight may be a bit intimidating. But Beveridge created a spirit with a smooth taste and a clean finish

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Using carefully selected European wheat and superior distillation to produce an exceptional product that is both crisp to the taste and soft on the finish.

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chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 19

SCREEN SCENE

Recovering A Stolen Past “Woman in Gold” paints a moving portrait

“S

Everyone Wants A Baymax Disney creates a superhero classic with heart and style With all the talk about the Marvel Cinematic Universe and this week’s release of the oh-so-eagerly-awaited new “Avengers” movie, it’s the perfect time to look back at a Marvelbased comic book film that went in an unexpected—and delightful—direction.

When Disney bought the rights to the Marvel comics, their animation division sifted through dozens of titles to find something that clicked with them and found "Big Hero 6".

The story of a young boy and his utterly non-threatening bulbous medically-minded robot Baymax struck

✴✴✴✴

an immediate chord with audiences, both young and just young-at-heart.

Add to that a gorgeous look at a Bay Area that never was and strong lessons about teamwork and overcoming self-doubt, what better way to spend a Saturday at the library than by revisiting San Fransokyo?

Eastgate Saturday Cinema: “Big Hero 6” 2:30 p.m., free Eastgate Public Library 5705 Marlin Rd. (423) 855-2689 chattlibrary.org

NEW IN THEATERS

Avengers: Age of Ultron When Tony Stark tries to jumpstart a dormant peacekeeping program, things go awry and it is up to the Avengers to stop the villainous Ultron from enacting his terrible plans.

Director: Joss Whedon Stars: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth

✴✴✴✴

Far from the Madding Crowd In Victorian England, the independent and headstrong Bathsheba Everdene attracts three very different suitors: a sheep farmer, a reckless sergeant, and a prosperous bachelor.

Director: Thomas Vinterberg Stars: Carey Mulligan, Tom Sturridge, Matthias Schoenaerts, Juno Temple

20 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

chindler’s List” was released in 1993, telling the story of Oskar Schindler, a greedy and selfish German businessman who ultimately does what is right by turning his factory into a safe house for Jews during World War II. Steven Spielberg’s masterpiece won several Academy Awards, including Best Picture.

Screen beth miller

“

While trying to take Reynolds seriously in the role of Randol is at first difficult and seemingly unnatural, he is a good contrast to Mirren’s Maria.”

While those things are important, they are not what we, the viewers, will remember. What will be remembered is how we felt during and after the movie. It is safe to say that “Schindler’s List” left an indelible impression.

Another emotionally heavy Holocaust film, “The Pianist,” garnered rave reviews in 2002 for its story of a Jewish Polish pianist who managed to survive the chaos and demise of the Warsaw ghetto during the war. Directed by Roman Polanski, himself a Krakow ghetto survivor, “The Pianist” took a selfless approach in not presenting tales of heroes or revengeseekers but rather of someone who does what is needed to survive.

Enter “Woman in Gold.”

Maria Altmann (Helen Mirren), an Austrian emigrant living in California who was forced to leave her homeland and her family during World War II, opens the story with the humorously tinged eulogy for her sister, Luise, of whom she says, “If life was a race, then Luise won.

If life was a boxing match, then I’m the last one standing.” Maria is left to handle the legal matters and stumbles across some paperwork revealing the details of her family’s stolen artwork.

Among this artwork is a portrait of her aunt, Adele Bloch-Bauer. She employs Randol Schoenberg (Ryan Reynolds), grandson to the famous Austrian composer Arnold Schoenberg, as her attorney.

The two quickly find themselves in the midst of a Holmes-and-Watson-like adventure, taking on the Austrian govern-

Epilepsy-Pulse Ad.eps

ment for the rights to Adele’s portrait along with several other paintings.

The story behind the “Woman in Gold,” now known as “Portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer I,” is that the artist, Gustav Klimpt, used a gold-encrusting technique in his portrait of a captivating woman, creating what came to be considered the “Mona Lisa” of Austria. Adele’s portrait was stolen in 1938, along with many other personal items belonging to the family, during the Anschluss, the union of Austria and Germany. The picture landed in Vienna’s Belvedere Gallery, where it remained until Maria began her fight to reclaim it.

Maria and Randol wage a battle on two fronts: Maria seeks reconciliation for her past and the wrongful death of her family, while Randol is a floundering lawyer attempting to start a family and a career. Randol initially sees her as his potential cash cow, ignoring his own Austrian legacy, but quickly realizes through the many connections to his composer grandfather and through Maria’s telling of Jewish suppression and her own family’s struggle that her battle is also his battle.

Director Simon Curtis and first-time screenwriter Alexi Kaye Campbell rely heavily on the same emotional responses experienced by viewers in the aforementioned Holocaust films, using flashbacks Maria undergoes revealing her traumatic past. Juxtaposing the compelling, historical imagery of the past with the cultureless, identity-searching present (in this instance, 1998), Curtis mimics the same tension between Mirren’s and Reyn-

old’s characters.

While trying to take Reynolds seriously in the role of Randol is at first difficult and seemingly unnatural, he is a good contrast to Mirren’s Maria.

Reynolds has moments where his trademark humor shines through and is at times matched by Mirren’s quick wit.

Ultimately, Mirren’s sophistication and acting gravitas steamroll Reynolds, who tries desperately to convince the audience of his deeper ability as an actor. He only manages to keep his head above water—until the end, in which he persuasively delivers a speech to the tribunal deciding the portrait’s fate that is worthy of an audience ovation.

Katie Holmes makes an effort to breathe life into her dead career as Reynolds’ wife, Pam. But Holmes’ character only serves to be a doormat and her performance is forgettable.

Conversely, Daniel Brühl’s stellar performance as Austrian journalist Hubertus Czernin, who aids Maria and Randol during their visits to Vienna, places him a few notches above Reynolds, who admits toward the end of the movie, “We could not have done this without you.” Indeed.

Watching both Maria and Randol evolve over the course of the legal battle to locate the thing that drives both of them to justice is an emotional journey worth taking.“Woman in Gold” will not go down in history alongside movies such “Schindler’s List” or “The Pianist,” but it is certainly noteworthy as another reminder of why we must never forget.

Asian Food of&Chattanooga Gifts Mon - Sat: 10:00 am - 7:00 pm • Sunday: Noon - 6:00 pm 3639 Hixson Pike • (423) 870-1067 • facebook.com/AsianFoodandGifts

Follow The Pulse on Facebook (we’re quite likeable) www.facebook.com/chattanoogapulse chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 21

Jonesin’ Crossword

Free Will Astrology

matt jones

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Chris Moneymaker was employed as an accountant in Tennessee. On a whim, he paid $39 to enter an online poker tournament. Although he knew a lot about the game, he had never competed professionally. Nevertheless, he won the tournament. As his award, he received no money, but rather an invitation to participate in the annual World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. Can you guess the storybook ending?

The rookie triumphed over 838 pros, taking home $2.5 million.

I don’t foresee anything quite as spectacular for you, Aries, but there may be similar elements in your saga. For example, a modest investment on your part could make you eligible for a chance to earn much more. Here’s another possible pot twist: You could generate luck for yourself by ramping up a skill that has until now been a hobby.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): eBay is a multi-billion-dollar ecommerce business that has been around for almost 20 years. But it had an inauspicious beginning.

The first item ever sold on the service was a broken laser pointer.

Even though the laser pointer didn’t work, and the seller informed the buyer it didn’t work, it brought in $14.83. This story might be a useful metaphor for your imminent future, Taurus.

While I have faith in the vigor of the long-term trends you are or will soon be setting in motion, your initial steps may be a bit iffy.

“TL;DR”—I couldn’t get past the beginning.

ACROSS 1 Coin flip 5 Nuremberg number 9 Agent Emanuel 12 ___ Chris Steak House 14 “They went this way” sign 15 Pops 16 Farm refrain 17 Novelist Pier ___ Pasolini 18 Bother 19 Opening of “Anna Kareni...” (TL;DR) 22 “Kate & ___” (‘80s sitcom) 23 Toxic condition 24 Sports car protector 25 Daybreak 28 Prominent stretch 29 Opening of “A Tale of Two Cit...” (TL;DR) 35 Gravy dish 36 They have a flower logo 37 “Come right ___!”

38 Opening of

“The Catcher in the R...” (TL;DR) 43 Evergreen State sch.

44 “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” character 45 Bro’s sib 46 Remove, like a rind 49 Gp. that awards the Oscars 51 Opening of “Moby-D...” (TL;D... wait, I think I got the whole thing!)

55 Keats offering 56 Concern 57 Was told 60 Vardalos or Long 61 Students take them 62 Impressive lineup 63 DC ballplayer 64 Sitcom starring Sonny Shroyer 65 “Auld Lang ___” DOWN 1 Three, in Turin 2 Arles agreement

3 Take off slyly 4 Shameless salesperson 5 Get ___ on the knuckles 6 Trim the borders of 7 Francis I’s jurisdiction 8 Some sweet deals 9 #2 of 44 10 Spokes 11 Winners of a certain show 13 Pool side 14 Shrink’s org.

20 Spiciness 21 “This Is 40” director Judd 22 Trump’s “The ___ the Deal” 24 Netanyahu nickname 26 “This is an awesome ride!”

27 Country hit by a recent earthquake 30 “Don’t forget to bring ___!” (“South Park” catchphrase)

31 “American Hustle” actor 32 Paid periodically 33 Last word of some films 34 Explosive materials 39 Offer from a sharing friend 40 Makes a decision about, in court 41 “Kinsey” star Neeson 42 Company that makes motorcycles, guitars, and snowmobiles 46 Home of the Huskies 47 Gymnastics great Comaneci 48 Crease 50 Jury members 52 What a colon may mean 53 Takes to court 54 Guys 58 Operated, as machinery 59 Turn purple, perhaps

Copyright © 2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0725

22 • The Pulse • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Poetically speaking, it’s time to purify your world of all insanities, profanities, and inanities. It’s a perfect moment for that once-ina-blue-moon Scour-a-Thon, when you have a mandate to purge all clunkiness, junkiness, and gunkiness from your midst. And as you flush away the unease of your hypocrisies and discrepancies, as you dispense with any tendency you might have to make way too much sense, remember that evil is allergic to laughter. Humor is one of the most effective psychospiritual cleansers ever.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I was in the checkout line at Whole Foods. The shopper ahead me had piled her groceries on the conveyor belt, and it was her turn to be rung up. “How are you doing?” she said cheerfully to the cashier, a crabby-looking hipster whom I happened to know is a Cancerian poet and lead singer in a local rock band. “Oh, I am living my dream,” he replied. I guessed he was being sarcastic, although I didn’t know for sure. In any case, I had a flash of intuition that his answer should be your mantra in the coming weeks.

It’s time to redouble your commitment to living your dream! Say it 20 times in a row right now: “I am living my dream.”

rob brezsny

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): As I awoke this morning, I remembered the dream I’d just had. In the dream, I had written a horoscope for you.

Here’s what it said: “The Kentucky Derby is a famous horse race that takes place on the first Saturday of every May. It’s called ‘The Run for the Roses’ because one of the prizes that goes to the winning horse and jockey is a garland of 554 roses. I suspect that your life may soon bring you an odd treasure like that, Leo. Will it be a good thing, or too much of a good thing? Will it be useful or just kind of weird?

Beautiful or a bit ridiculous? The answers to those questions may depend in part on your willingness to adjust your expectations.”

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don’t calm down. Don’t retreat into your sanctuary and relax into protective comfort. If you have faith and remain committed to the messy experiment you have stirred up, the stress and agitation you’re dealing with will ripen into vitality and excitement. I’m not exaggerating, my dear explorer. You’re on the verge of tapping into the catalytic beauty and rejuvenating truth that lurk beneath the frustration. You’re close to unlocking the deeper ambitions that are trapped inside the surface-level wishes.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): American author Stephen Crane wrote his celebrated Civil War novel The Red Badge of Courage in ten days. Composer George Frideric Handel polished off his famous oratorio Messiah in a mere 24 days, and Russian writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky produced his novel The Gambler in 16 days. On the other hand, Junot Díaz, who won a Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, needed ten years to finish it. As for you, Libra, I think this is—and should be!—a phase more like Díaz’s than the other three creators’. Go slowly. Be super extra thorough. What you’re working on can’t be rushed.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In her book A Natural History of the Senses, Diane Ackerman describes a medieval knight who asked his lady for a strand of her pubic hair: a symbol of her life force. The lady agreed. He placed the talisman in a locket that he wore around his neck, confident that it would protect him and consecrate him in the course of the rough adventures ahead. I recommend that you consider a similar tack in the coming weeks, Scorpio.

As you head toward your turning point, arm yourself with a personal blessing from someone you love. Success is most likely if you tincture your fierce determination with magical tenderness.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “An escalator can never break,” mused comedian Mitch

Hedberg. “It can only become stairs. You should never see an ‘Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order’ sign, just ‘Escalator Is Temporarily Stairs.’” I think a similar principle applies to you, Sagittarius. If we were to try to evaluate your current situation with conventional wisdom, we might say that part of your usual array of capacities is not functioning at its usual level. But if we adopted a perspective like Hedberg’s, we could rightly say that this part of you is simply serving its purpose in a different way.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’ve got a tough assignment for you. It won’t be easy, but I think you’re ready to do a good job.

Here it is: Learn to be totally at home with your body. Figure out what you need to do to feel unconditional love for your physical form. To get started on this noble and sacred task, practice feeling compassion for your so-called imperfections. I also suggest you cast a love spell on yourself every night, using a red candle, a mirror, and your favorite creamy beverage. It may also help to go down to the playground and swing on the swings, make loud animal sounds, or engage in unusually uninhibited sex. Do you have any other ideas?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When Aquarian media mogul Oprah Winfrey was born, “Oprah” was not what she was called. Her birth certificate says she is “Orpah,” a name her aunt borrowed from a character who appears in the biblical Book of Ruth. As Oprah grew up, her friends and relatives had trouble pronouncing “Orpah,” and often turned it into “Oprah.” The distorted form eventually stuck. But if I were her, I would consider revisiting that old twist sometime soon, maybe even restoring “Orpah.”

For you Aquarians, it’s a favorable time to investigate original intentions or explore primal meanings or play around with the earliest archetypes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): What I propose is that you scan your memories and identify everyone who has ever tried to limit your options or dampen your enthusiasm or crush your freedom.

Take a piece of paper and write down a list of the times someone insinuated that you will forever be stuck in a shrunken possibility, or made a prediction about what you will supposedly never be capable of, or said you had a problem that was permanently beyond your ability to solve. Once you’ve compiled all the constricting ideas about yourself that other people have tried to saddle you with, burn that piece of paper and declare yourself exempt from their curses. In the days after you do this ritual, all of life will conspire with you to expand your freedom.

There’s A Riot Going On Officer Alex remembers another violent time in Baltimore—and what it didn’t solve

“ The credibility of those supporting these actions looks exactly like the remains of the burnedout cars of hardworking people and ruined small business owners’ smoldering storefronts.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

“The Baltimore Riots.”

The month of April: Three hundred African-Americans gathered peacefully downtown around noon for a memorial service, which lasted until 2 p.m. without incident.

More and more people ALEX began to gather after the service, and soon a crowd formed in East Baltimore...and by 5 p.m., some windows began being smashed on Gay Street. Police began to move in.

People began to report fires after 6 p.m.; soon after, the city declared an 11 p.m. curfew and called in 6,000 troops from the National Guard.

Sales of alcohol and firearms were immediately banned.

The crowd by now had grown to at least a thousand people.

Around 8 p.m., Governor Spiro T. Agnew declared a state of emergency.

By the next morning, reports to the White House described five deaths, 300 fires, and 404 arrests and rioting had now spread to West Baltimore as well. And to make matters worse, a mob of white counter-rioters assembled near Baltimore’s Patterson Park; they dispersed after National Guard troops prevented them from entering a black neighborhood.

Before it was over, 10,956 federal troops had been deployed, six were killed, 700 were injured, 1,200 fires were lit, 5,800 arrests were made

and 1,000 small businesses destroyed or robbed.

All of that was caused by anger over the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on April 4, 1968.

The riots of 2015? Ask s o m e b o d y.

A n y b o d y.

“Someone TEACH died in police custody” is as far as most get in their in-depth response, because they don’t really know what caused the death, only that they’re upset about it, and what more do you need? It’s Showtime.

Irrational acts, I get. Mob mentality? Same thing. But the people justifying it? Stating that “the burning of a CVS is offensive, but the murder of black men at the hands of police is not somehow, so therefore they deserve to riot to prove a point”?

The small business owners and citizens should exempt these people from their otherwise-expected civic duty to not burn and pillage everything in sight? And my favorite: “These aren’t rioters, these are protesters”?

Please. Whether you like it or not, sometimes a protest is just a riot camouflaged in self-righteousness. It might not start that way, and the actors themselves might not think that it is…but in this case, a cigar is a freakin’ cigar, folks.

No matter how you want to paint it or promote it, rioting, burning and randomly assaulting people isn’t the

On The Beat

answer to anything except a brutal response by the majority of people who have an expectation of not living in an impulse-dominated war zone.

None of the lawlessness taking place is part of some romantic notion of “anarchy” being utilized to restore balance. No. It’s just burning and hurting people. And that’s the key: No matter how “right” you think you are, people are getting hurt.

The credibility of those supporting these actions looks exactly like the remains of the burned-out cars of hardworking people and ruined small business owners’ smoldering storefronts. You sided with lawlessness, with hypocrisy, with madness.

You’re wrong.

This isn’t the way to the change you’re looking for.

This is the way to justify an even harder fist than the one you blamed initially as part of an agenda, or part of a lesson in extreme short-sightedness.

Property values in Ferguson, Missouri have plummeted 47 percent since the “justified” riots (naturally caused by “outside agitators”) over Michael Brown. You know,

the one who didn’t have his “hands up.” Still justified?

This is not the way, people.

The traffic cone in the car window? The Red Bull table thrown through the local bar window? Robbing the reporter telling your story?

You’re doing it wrong.

(Again.)

And would you look at that! As I’m writing this, I see that the National Guard is arriving on scene in Baltimore.

(Again.)

Good luck making the rioters’ behavior their fault next.

This is not the way. Prior failures, “lack of a voice,” whatever your excuse (for that’s exactly what it is), this… is not the way. You know it, so stop covering for it.

For the cops out there?

Hold the line, ladies and gentlemen. The public thinks that line is a wall of silence, but you and I know what it really is: It’s that line you’re drawing now between order and chaos.

That is the Thin Blue Line.

Hold it steady. The 99 percent that aren’t giving in to every carnal criminal impulse will thank you for it, trust me.

chattanoogapulse.com • April 30-MAY 6, 2015 • The Pulse • 23