The Pulse - Vol. 7, Issue 52

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

TOP TEN

FREE • News, Views, Music, Film, Arts & Entertainment • December 30, 2010 • Volume 7, Issue 52 • www.chattanoogapulse.com

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor / Layout Design Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih, Townes Webb Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Reginald Owens Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder, Michael Crumb John DeVore, Janis Hashe Joshua Hurley, Phillip Johnston Matt Jones, D.E. Langley Ernie Paik, Rick Pimental-Habib Gary Poole, Alex Teach Tara V Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

30 2010

cover story

Contents

AL S, TY se NU ES EAU Pul AN LLN B he E & T W LTH k in

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

A ee HE t w x ne

DECEMBER

8 THE TOP TEN OF EVERYTHING Each year, we ask staff and contributors alike to contribute a “Top Ten” list—of whatever they want to make a list of. Inside, you’ll find top news stories, top (and bottom) films, top arts events, top ten reasons not to go out on New Year’s Eve and top list-making lists, among other lists. Read on and see if you agree with our picks. Or send us your own as a comment at www. chattanoogapulse.com.

news & views

feature stories

PULSE BEATS SHRINK RAP ON THE BEAT LIFE IN THE NOOG ASK A MEXICAN

By Tara V If you still haven’t decided where you will ring in the New Year, then here are a few options to fit everyone’s style—while staying in Chattanooga and taking advantage of that cab fare.

5 6 13 24 30

21 TEN BEST ARTS EVENTS OF 2010

everything else

14 TARA V'S GUIDE TO NEW YEAR'S EVE

By Michael Crumb It’s fair to say that not only was 2010 a strong year for the arts in Chattanooga, but it was also a better year than 2009. Museum arts and public arts have blossomed with consistently strong work.

26 REALLY GOOD, AND REALLY, REALLY BAD

By Phillip Johnston & John DeVore The Pulse film crtitics Phillip Johnson and John DeVore team up to present the best—and worst—that came to the big screen in past year.

And for every Toy Story 3 and Inception, there came along tthe rue stinkers like Furry Vengeance and Sex and the City 2.

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EDITOON LETTERS TO THE EDITOR POLICE BLOTTER THE LIST NEW MUSIC REVIEWS MUSIC CALENDAR A&E CALENDAR DINING SPOTLIGHT NEW IN THEATERS SPIRITS WITHIN FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

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Letters to the Editor Shame on Chattanooga for spending one cent on what they call Public Art and all those tourist attracting endeavors when there are people freezing and starving right around the corner. Every tourist should be taken on a tourist bus to that homeless Shangri-La that was promised on 11th Street and asked what they think about it. Maybe they’ll want to spend the night with us on the floor of the overcrowded Community Kitchen.

Chris Spartacus This is the best thing you guys could have done. How demeaning must it be to constantly be spoken about but never really listened to? Hearing these voices is a little frightening and a lot like being forced to look at yourself in a mirror, which may be why some of these nonprofits got so offended and defensive. I respect Cody for giving the opportunity he had to simply write even more about the homeless to the actual people themselves and let them have their own voice, and I respect the Pulse even more for giving them a place to be read.

Those with the ability to make a difference

for some of these men and women are obviously incapable of doing anything of any substance so the homeless are not going away. Their voices shouldn’t either. You guys should print their diaries on a regular basis and not let the discussion fade away.

Melissa Pink There is nothing wrong with running in a race, but our values as a whole have slipped silently into the night. Perhaps we never really had them at all. These days are NOT about freedom and opportunity. They are about holding down turf—whether that be in financial ways, political ways, religious ways—and the dream of ever coming together as one people, one humanity, with varying and beautiful differences has slipped so far away that we have completely lost sight of the real issues such as homelessness, poverty, abuse, neglect, environmental issues (which often are swept under the rug by entire sub-cultures as non-existent), and choose instead to fight, to isolate, and to build walls instead of bridges. The opportunity here is so great.

Van Ryder

What a wonderful thing to allow the homeless to be heard. It’s unfortunate that many won’t even bother reading this since The Pulse is an “alternative” newspaper.

But enough people have read the article that what is going on here is wonderful: it’s dialogue, at last and at least. The focus here is not to say that what’s being done with the various programs isn’t something, it’s that it is a drop in the bucket compared to what might be done. And those holding the purse-string for such “dreams” are ill-want and unprepared to actually loosen them up and make an investment in the humanity of others. He really can’t think of a better way?

Catherine Eaker In the Pulse edition of December 16, 2010, the article “Hunter’s Invitation to the Surreal” contained three typographical errors: “Criminal propaganda” should have read “cultural propaganda.” In the sentence following, quotation marks should have appeared around the word “naked.” Quotation marks were incorrectly inserted into the clause beginning, “real art…dollar value.” The correct form of this clause had no quotations marks. The Pulse regrets these accidental mistypings.

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Pulse Beats Sound Bites

“I’m only trying to be of service to the county, and if that doesn’t happen that’s not going to wreck my life.”

— Former Sessions Court Judge Mike Carter, who tied with County Commissioner Jim Coppinger in a vote to replace outgoing County Mayor Claude Ramsey.

News Briefs • Irritated by an apparent lack of progress, Red Bank Mayor Monty Millard called on the county school board to learn what progress, if any, was being made on replacing his community’s 74-year-old middle school. School Superintendent Dr. Jim Scales told Millard that the process is almost complete. The last piece of the puzzle is waiting for the US Department of the Interior to approve plans for a land swap that would allow the school to be built on the site next to the high school.

• Following an announcement by President Obama of a two-year pay freeze for all federal employees, Tennessee Valley Authority workers have learned they will be part of the same hold in salary levels.

TVA President Tom Kilgore said last week that the agency would freeze pay for managers, specialists and excluded employees as well as senior management. The president’s plan, which was approved by Congress, only applies to government agencies, but TVA decided to join in the freeze to show their “commitment to the nation’s fiscal strength,” according to Kilgore.

A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

Chattanooga To Help Develop Rating System Chattanooga has been selected to help develop a groundbreaking rating system that will change the way communities across the country manage and plan for their futures. It will also become a way of evaluating cities against each other as they compete for new residents, investment, economic development and government grants. Chattanooga was selected because of its history of being a leader in sustainability, revitalization, citizen involvement and recent economic progress.

Chattanooga was one of nine selected communities to help create the STAR rating system being developed by ICLEI—a coalition of more than 600 local governments, The National League of Cities and the Green Building Council. The nine communities selected range in size from a small town of a few thousand to some of the country’s largest cities: New York, NY, Boulder, CO, King County, WA, Atlanta, GA, Cranberry Township, PA, Des Moines, IA, St. Louis, MO, and the District of Columbia.

“Just like LEED certification provided a roadmap for individual buildings to be more cost effective, energy efficient and healthier, we expect the STAR Community Index to provide that same roadmap to sustainability for entire communities,” said David Crockett, director of the Office of Sustainability. “It will raise the quality of life of the city and competitiveness of Chattanooga to attract business, tourism and residents to our city.”

Crockett, a former IBM employee, added, “This complements the other technology that is clustering in Chattanooga, like the smart grid, gigabit Internet, SimCenter...all of which can be used for innovative solutions for building smarter and more sustainable cities.”

Representatives from several organizations wrote letters of support for the city’s application, including Tom Edd Wilson, President and CEO of the Chattanooga Area Chamber of Commerce, who stated, “The Chamber is committed to a long-term strategic growth plan for this community.

We believe that our community’s participation in a national effort to develop specific metrics for sustainability will only enhance our ability to plan for the growth that this region will experience in the next fifty years.”

Chattanooga will receive technical support and resources as an early adopter of STAR to accelerate sustainability efforts. Once the program is fully developed, everyone in Chattanooga will be able to watch our progress towards sustainability via an online dashboard.

“Chattanooga has a long track record of developing and implementing innovative programs in sustainability,” said Mayor Ron Littlefield. “We have the opportunity here to be on the cutting edge of sustainability and technology and to lead the country towards a cleaner, better future.”

Here is one of the more interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the Tuesday, January 4 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

The Chattanooga City Council returns next Tuesday after a two-week layoff for the holidays. While a formal agenda has yet to be finalized, among the issues they’ll be discussing will be the following deferred ordinance from the December 14 meeting: An ordinance to amend Chattanooga City Code, Part II, Chapter 35, Article IV, Sections 35-162 and 35-171 relative to vehicles for hire.

This ordinance relates to the ongoing struggle to properly regulate and supervise the various towing companies in the city. The council has been trying to codify the legal language to create a clear and level playing field for all proprietors in the increasingly competitive tow-truck market.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agenda and minutes from past city council meetings, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

As The Pulse approaches our eighth anniversary, we would like to ask you to please take a few moments to give us some feedback. To take part in The Pulse Reader Survey, simply visit our web site at www.chattanoogapulse.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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Shrink Rap

By Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D

Intersections and the Power of Intention I

“To help with this, you might ask yourself: What part of who I am—or who I wish to be—is due for some mindful attention?”

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his web site at www.DrRPH.com

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n the work I do helping people navigate the challenges of life, I often refer to “personal intersections,” those moments when you come to an intellectual, spiritual, or emotional crossroads, and are faced with making a decision.

As this column has touched on in the past, intersections are both big and small, and occur all day, all throughout life. Major ones, such as those involving relationships, child-rearing, personal crises, career paths, employment opportunities, educational possibilities, etc., require much of us—sometimes they demand the use of all our coping skills and inner resources, conversations with loved ones, or quiet time for reflection and meditation. Maybe all of the above.

Then there are minor ones that we usually resolve without a lot of difficulty or thought. These might look like, oh, where to go for dinner? Or, shall I pick up the dry cleaning on the way to the bank? Do I have time for the gym? Shall I call my folks today?

What’s interesting about life’s intersections is that they reflect our level of mindfulness: the degree to which we are deliberately aware throughout the day, the week, the hour, showing us which issues get our conscious attention and which don’t.

Perhaps you’ve wondered what it would be like to be more conscious and present for all of your life, not just for the big moments of grand happiness or painful despair. Not

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

just for the roller-coaster, but for the sweet, calm sailing as well.

Well, there’s no better time than the start of a new year to look at how you handle your personal intersections. And this brings me to the amazing power of intention.

An intention is not so much about doing as it is about becoming and embracing your best self.

To help with this, you might ask yourself: What part of who I am—or who I wish to be—is due for some mindful attention?

My body, my spirituality, my psychological wellbeing, my emotional management? If you think about it, and talk about it, and journal about it, and your daily meditations focus on bringing it to the forefront of your reality, then powerful and welcomed change will occur in your life. It has to, as your thoughts, language, and behaviors shift to prioritize what’s really important to you, and what you truly want to accomplish.

Try this exercise: Spend a morning paying close attention to all the things you usually don’t give a second thought to. For instance, when you grab the cereal from the cupboard, pause. Ask yourself if that’s really what you want to eat, or are you just doing what you always do. When you leave for work in the morning and give your sweetie a peck on the cheek like usual, hold on a sec. Why communicate a mere morsel of affection when you can communicate deeper feelings of love? Turn that peck into a big, sloppy smooch and lingering

embrace. (Could be fun. Could make you late for work.)

Mom’s arthritis has been acting up and Dad’s been depressed. Don’t just make a quick call, talk about little Timmy’s report card, and hang up. Choose to take the time to really talk with them. Be present. Ask questions. And listen to their answers, even if you’ve heard them a million times before.

You might hear differently this time.

Being present. Paying attention.

Consciously choosing how you spend this moment. And do your actions line up with those intentions of who you wish to be? I believe that when your intention is clear and strong, the Universe listens and conspires to help, bringing exactly the right people, experiences, and blessings into your path. Are you catching them?

What’s the payoff? Relationships more deeply felt. A stronger spiritual connection to your world and everyone in it. Heightened senses. Insight. Change. In short, a Technicolor life more fully lived.

Life’s fraught with pitfalls and stumblings, and we surely can’t work on everything at once. But does this really matter? Perhaps what matters most is committing to the journey toward becoming who you want to be, declaring it loudly and then paying attention, so as to embrace the support that surrounds you, that trickles from the sky, every step of the way.

Until next time: “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”

— Marianne Williamson

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• In some Wonderlands, one pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small. But the pills that an East Ridge man had with him were not ones he should have had at all. Following a surveillance operation in the parking lot of a Ringgold Road pharmacy, East Ridge narcotics officers arrested a man with more than 340 prescription pills in his possession.

According to investigators, the man was financing doctor visits and medication costs for several individuals in an attempt to obtain prescription drugs. The street value of the pills was more than $2,000. In addition, detectives seized $2,630 in cash and a Chevrolet Camaro.

• A criminal’s mind is often a strange and confusing place, as evidenced by so many criminals repeating the same type of crime over and over again—then seeming surprised when they are caught.

Such was the case with a man who admitted to robbing four stores during the past two months, one of them twice in a two-week period. The man targeted both convenience stores and general merchandise stores, apparently unaware that employees tend to remember who robs them (especially if they are held up

more than once) and surveillance cameras have an even better memory. When arrested and confronted with the evidence, the man quickly confessed to all five robberies and is facing a laundry list of aggravated robbery and theft charges.

• Law enforcement officers, by and large, are honest men and women who work under thankless conditions doing their best to make the community safer. Which is why it’s particularly disappointing when those sworn to uphold the law run afoul of the law. Red Bank City Manager Chris Dorsey had to take the unpleasant step of firing one of his city’s officers and severely reprimanding two more. Corporal Rebecca Chauncey was terminated for her part in a botched home entry last month.

She and two other officers assisted a bail bondsman in breaking into the wrong house, which inadvertently led to the condemnation of the home of the two elderly residents. Officers Bradley Hanon and Eric Massengale were each given written reprimands, 30 days without pay and a six-month probation, proving that even the enforcers of the law are not above the law themselves.

Top Ten New Year’s Resolutions

• And for all the stories we’ve published relating to traffic cameras, there may well be a change in how they are administered statewide. Tennessee lawmakers may reconsider their hands-off approach to traffic cameras that make it cheaper for local governments to catch speeders and red-light violators. Lawmakers are discussing possible state rules intended to make sure the camera programs boost safety...and don’t create “speed traps.”

Republican State Representative Vince Dean of East Ridge, a former police officer, said there have to be statewide standards.

A legislative panel held a recent discussion on the cameras that are used by about 20 cities in Tennessee, including Red Bank, East Ridge and Chattanooga.

1. Spend More Time with Family & Friends 2. Fit in Fitness 3. Tame the Bulge 4. Quit Smoking 5. Enjoy Life More 6. Quit Drinking 7. Get Out of Debt 8. Learn Something New 9. Help Others 10. Get Organized Most polling shows that only about half of all Americans even make a New Year’s resolution, and of those that do, nearly 90 percent of them fail in the resolve by the end of March.

Even so, it’s a time-honored tradition whether you succeed or not, and it gives you something to talk about on New Year’s Eve while waiting for the ball to drop.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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The Top Ten Of Everything

Top Ten Things I Went To This Year

By Janis Hashe

T

his year, I decided to go back through my events planner and make a list of the Top Ten Things I Went To. Admittedly, this might not be complete, because I sometimes forget to write things down, either before or after the event. But all of these events were outstanding in their own ways, and deserve a year-end salute.

January 26, 2010: Miss Evers’ Boys.

This powerful production by Destiny Theatre Company featured knockout performances by E’tienne Easley in the title role and Karl Gardner as one of the “Boys.”

March 7: “I Heard a Voice: The Art of Lesley Dill.” We are so fortunate in Chattanooga to have a major art institution that is taking the chances with its exhibits that the Hunter is. Lesley Dill’s work—haunting, provocative, sometimes difficult— made for a stunning afternoon at the museum.

April 17: Bug-a-Paluza 12. I had never been to this annual fest of everything Volkswagen and was charmed by both the imagination used in restoring some of the vehicles and the passion of the collectors.

Also April 17!: 10th 4Bridges Art Festival: On the same day, I truly enjoyed this year’s 4Bridges. The Pulse featured “emerging artist” Thaddeus Erdahl’s outlandish and humorous sculpture on the cover, and his work was a festival highlight.

May 29: WHO-Fest. As a lover of folk art, this is my favorite opportunity to see some unique artists, accompanied by musical programming from those adorable Shaking Ray Levis.

July 24: Grayson Capps at Barking Legs. Though not familiar with this singer/songwriter when I entered Barking Legs, I exited a huge fan. For three hours in the sweltering

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Southern summer, he gave his audience everything. One of the best concerts I have ever been to.

October 14: SpeakEasy at Pride Night. Was tremendously impressed by the spoken-word/music performance of this duo, and look forward to seeing more of them.

November 18: “Dances in Raw States.” The rare opportunity to see very talented dancers working in pieces that are still works in progress was fabulous. Hope to see more of this in 2011.

November 19: “Symphonic Shakespeare” at the CSO. Bob Bernhardt is one very, very hard act to follow, but conductor Morihiko Nakahara was a star at the helm of the CSO this night with Mendelssohn’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Walton’s score for Olivier’s Henry V and Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet.

December 4: Main x 24. Though I was only at this 24-hour-a-thon for about three-and-a-half hours, in that time I managed to create a frame at Townsend Atelier, see the Tim Burton fashion show at the Choo Choo, be wowed by a killer version of “Into the Mystic” by Moon Slew at CreateHere, discover another artist whose work I love (Mark Lammie at Area 61) and enjoy the space and pieces at the new Mainly Antiques. What’s great about this event is that each person can figure out their own ideal itinerary.

Special Mention: Twelfth Night at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre, January 2010.

The company I founded, Shakespeare Chattanooga, performed this show, and I directed it, so of couse I am completely unbiased! But the combination of some kick-ass performances (Dakota Brown as Feste, Steve Disbrow as Malvolio, Kim Jackson as Viola, Tom Conway as Sir Toby, Carlene Conway as Maria, along with everyone else), a great “score” by Stephanie Smith, and the outrageous “swords” created by a group of wacky artists made this one of my favorite directorial outings.

The Top Ten Of Everything

Top Ten News Stories Of 2010 1. Attempted recall of Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield. Following a request to the city council to approve the first property-tax increase in years, Mayor Littlefield became the target of a loosely organized group of citizens intent on expressing their displeasure by removing him from office. After several months of petition-taking and legal wrangling, the end result was a court ruling throwing out a large percentage of collected signatures.

2. Schoolteacher Tonya Craft found not guilty on all counts. In a trial that started with little notice but ended with the eyes of the nation following every move, kindergarten teacher Tonya Craft was found not guilty on all counts of child molestation that had been lodged against her, including accusations involving her own children.

3. Amazon.com comes to town. The Seattle-based Internet retail giant became the latest major company to select the Chattanooga area to build new facilities. All told, two onemillion-square-foot facilities will be built in Enterprise South and in Bradley County, bringing nearly 3,000 new jobs to the region.

4. Zach Wamp out, Chuck Fleischmann in. A summer of political maneuvering left one long-time politico with plenty of free time on his hands and a newcomer heading to Washington. After 16 years in Congress, Zach Wamp decided to run for governor, only to lose to eventual winner Bill Haslam in the Republican primary. A crowded field to replace Wamp featured a fierce political battle between Robin Smith and Chuck Fleischmann, with the latter taking a razorthin victory in the primary before rolling to an easy general election victory.

5. Shooting in Coolidge Park brings gang violence to the forefront. In many ways, 2010 could be known as the “Year of the Shootings”, as gang and gun violence took front and center in the public eye. While the gang-related shooting in Coolidge Park was the most visible (and no, Mayor Littlefield, it was not a “flash mob”), the ongoing cycle of gang violence in the city has now been acknowledged as a major problem.

6. Revolving door for the Chattanooga Police Department. The city started the year with one police chief, Freeman Cooper, and ended with their third top cop,

Bobby Dodd. When Cooper announced his impending retirement, Mayor Littlefield attempted to keep him on board on a contract basis, but was eventually overruled by the city council. Deputy Chief Mark Rawlston became interim chief and was considered a front-runner for the permanent post until Dodd was selected, at which point Rawlston retired as well.

7. Claude Ramsey heads to Nashville. In a move that caught everyone by surprise, but also made perfect sense to those that know him, Hamilton County Mayor Claude Ramsey announced he was taking a job with Governor-elect Bill Haslam. Just a few months after winning re-election, Ramsey was wooed by Haslam to become the new governor’s chief of staff. The political maneuvering to replace him is still ongoing and has more twists and turns than a funhouse maze.

8. East Ridge devastated by floods. A good portion of East Ridge lies in a flood zone, which became all too real to residents of the suburban Chattanooga-area city this past spring when heavy rains spilled Chickamauga Creek over its banks and flooded a sizeable portion of the eastern part of the city. Of particular damage to the city financially was the loss of the Sears Essentials store next to The Rave, which was closed permanently after the flooding.

9. Costco comes to Fort Oglethorpe. North Georgia residents had been teased all summer long with rumors of a “major retailer” coming to town. The rumors proved to be true, as membership-warehouse giant Costco opened a facility just off the main I-75 exit. The new store brought with it a good number of jobs and city leaders hope it will act as a magnet for more retail outlets.

10. Winston, the (police) car-eating dog. And not every story has major political or financial impact. Such as the story of Winston, a pit bull mix who decided to nosh on a Chattanooga police car, tearing off the bumper and damaging several tires. The video of the vehicular feast went viral, followed by a very public hearing in animal court where he was placed on probation. Sadly, Winston passed away a few months later from hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, but will be fondly remembered for his culinary habits.

Top Ten Movies Of 2010 Here are the highest-grossing movies of the past year, based on worldwide box-office numbers.

1. Toy Story 3, $1.1 billion .

2. Alice in Wonderland, $1 billion.

3. Inception, $825.4 million.

4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1, $824.1 million.

5. Shrek Forever After, $739.8 million.

6. Twilight Saga: Eclipse, $693.5 million.

7. Iron Man 2, $582.2 million.

8. Despicable Me, $539.9 million.

9. How to Train Your Dragon, $494.9.

10. Clash of the Titans, $493.2 million.

Best Selling Albums of 2010 Based on total album sales compiled by SoundScan.

1. Lady GaGa, The Fame Monster, 5.8 million 2. Eminem, Recovery, 5.7 million 3. Justin Bieber, My Worlds, 5.6 million 4. Lady Antebellum, Need You Now, 3.6 million 5. Taylor Swift, Speak Now, 3.5 million 6. Susan Boyle, The Gift, 3 million 7. Black Eyed Peas, The E.N.D., 3 million 8. Michael Bublé, Crazy Love, 3 million 9. Sadé, Soldier Of Love, 2.3 million 10. Alicia Keys, The Element Of Freedom, 2.3 million

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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The Top Ten Of Everything

Best Pulse Covers Of 2010

Every week, part of my job as the layout designer is to work with our art department, as well as a group of very talented freelance photographers and graphic designers, to find the image that best tells the cover story and also will entice you, the reader, to pick up a copy. While the old saying says you can't judge a book by its cover, we in the publishing business know better—our cover is the only chance we have to make a good first impression.

Even so, trying to pick out the ten "best" covers from the past 52 weeks was not easy. It's like trying to pick your favorite child (although anyone with 52 children would be lucky to remember all their names, much less pick out a favorite).

That said, I have spent the best part of the past week reviewing

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each cover—how well did the image work with the story, what was the reader response, how many comments did we get both online and in passing—the criteria to make a decision are almost as varied as the covers themselves.

But eventually, I was able to whittle it down to the ten you see here. I believe this group of covers does a great job of telling the story of The Pulse— who we are, what we are about, and the variety of stories we like to tell.

And special thanks go out to Lesha Patterson, Jennifer Grelier, Nick Dupey at Young Monster, Bob Edens and the entire art department here at The Pulse.

Without their talent and dedication, our newspaper would be a lot less interesting to look at.

—Gary Poole, Layout Designer

The Top Ten Of Everything

Best Editorial Cartoons

By Rick Baldwin

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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On The Beat

By Alex Teach

New Year’s? No-No, Times Ten I

f you are planning on going “out” for New Year’s Eve and this is the 30th, or even the 31st of December, I may still be able to help you.

“There was a time when you could get so liquored up that wearing nothing but toilet paper while vomiting into someone’s purse after staging a re-creation of the original Flashdance waterfall scene with a buddy in a chair could be laughed off the next workday.”

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alex.teach

No one should go out Friday evening. No one. New Year’s Eve is a curse to the middle class who are between the social escape routes of limousines and well-paid handlers at the kind of parties that are filmed by reality television shows, and the duplexes and apartments of teenagers and the poor who identify drinks by the color of Kool-Aid they’ve mixed with them.

It is the Middle Class that goes to hotel bars and “gala events” sponsored by radio stations, in their innocence never realizing that these festivities are poorly orchestrated events run by burglars and Army deserters with only tacit approval and oversight by the corporate administrators, who are often themselves somewhere between pimps and IRS agents on the social ladder but mercifully too selfabsorbed to even realize it.

If you’re still unconvinced, let me give you my own top ten solid reasons to avoid a New Year’s Eve party.

Number 10: Cell Phone Cameras.

This could easily be Number 1 on this list, but I wanted to get it out there first to get this right out of the way.

There was a time when you could get so liquored up that wearing nothing but toilet paper while vomiting into someone’s purse after staging a re-creation of the original Flashdance waterfall scene with a buddy in a chair could be laughed off the next workday with a laugh and a raised eyebrow, but now that kind of good-natured shit could wind up on your next promotional interview or campaign poster because your smart-assed buddy thought it would be hilarious to put it on his or her

Facebook page or (God help you) YouTube.

Number 9: The Boss’s (or co-worker’s) Daughter.

She’ll be there.

Number 8: Self-Rohypnol.

It’s a fast-moving world in which meeting people is becoming exponentially easier through “social networking”, but practice at making organic connections person-to-person is ironically stymied by the same. The answer?

“Roofies”.

New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to meet that special someone you’ll appear to be “rescuing” at the end of the night, but the fun and games stop when it’s you that is found five hours later wandering the greater Jersey Pike/ Cromwell area wearing nothing but the shoes you are carrying together in your right hand (socks neatly stuffed inside).

Number 7: Cold & Flu Season.

Never mind catching the sniffles; the kind of girl that sleeps with someone they met on New Year’s Eve is also the kind of girl that forgets her “Z-Pack” nullifies her birth control.

(This is particularly exacerbated when combined with Number 9.)

Number 6: Cab Fees.

In Manhattan, you can catch a cab from one tip of the island to the other in one of the most expensive cities in the world for about 4 bucks.

In Chattanooga? Four bucks won’t get you to the end of the driveway. I’ve never understood it but they stay in business, so I guess that the hookers and blow the cab drivers supplement their incomes with really take care of the overhead.

Number 5: Abercrombie.

Think you have self-control? Wait until this guy shows up inappropriately in the latest T-shirt and matching ball cap (despite it being an after-dark event) and see how you avoid the

myriad excuses to punch him in the mouth for the slightest reason.

Number 4: Cheap Champagne.

You may have paid $229 dollars for the room, the tickets to the gala, and a free midnight toast, but nothing will beat tomorrow’s hangover from that gallon of Cook’s or Freixenet they cut corners on. (Tip: “Freixenet” is German for “Exploding Head.”)

Number 3: Amateur Night Drinkers.

The reason N.Y.E. is a Curse of the Middle Class is the predilection non-drinker average wage earners have towards “going out” for New Year’s. These are people who are not able to listen to their tummies or the loss of sensation in their legs that says “Whoa there, Tex” and wind up becoming the subject of the videos in Number 10.

Number 2: Karaoke.

This was a fairly difficult decision to make since it is normally far and away considered to be the top reason not to go to a commercially advertised New Year’s Eve party, but as a public safety official, I just couldn’t give it top props in this periodical, anyway. (Read on, and it will soon become obvious.)

The Number 1 reason NOT to go out for New Year’s Eve: Jägermeister.

It’s an advanced-level drink that the Amateurs (see Number 3) are obsessed with due to its black-licorice sweetness, with results that have cost lives, jobs, and countless car interiors. It’s not candy, folks. It’s serious business. And it’s not for the bi-annual drinker.

If you’re still unconvinced, I understand.

Some people are bound and determined to make their own mistakes, and to those warriors I salute you, for it is your exploits that give me such rich writing material and reasons to smile in an otherwise overcast world.

But trust me on the Rohypnol and Jäger.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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Music Feature

Tara V's Guide to New Year’s Eve

By Tara V

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010 nears an end, and now that Santa is on his much-deserved vacation to the islands, it is time for us to party! If you still haven’t decided where you will ring in the New Year, then here are a few options to fit everyone’s style—while staying in Chattanooga and taking advantage of that cab fare.

Funk Ball 2011 For my ’80s lovers: The Funk Ball returns to the Chattanooga Convention Center. Last year we got funky with The Mummies, and for 2011 the guys from Sell Out Presents in Nashville bring The Breakfast Club. You loved the movie, and you will love the band that has been touring and paying tribute to the era’s music since the early ’90s.

They are regular visitors to Chattanooga and will make this NYE like dancing with an old friend.

The ballroom at the Chattanooga Convention Center will play host to an even BIGGER party space, more seating and extra goodies. General admission tickets offer a spacious dance floor, ample bar service, limited first-come first-serve seating, party favors and a special hosted countdown at midnight. VIP admission boasts Vegas-style party action with casino gaming, red-carpet entrance, reserved seating, private bars, private restrooms, stageside view/dance space and a few complimentary libations to make you forget you’re really not in Vegas. The show is all ages, so you can bring the family, and benefits The Northside Neighborhood House.

5 Easy Pieces For those looking for the perfect date consisting of dinner and dancing, then 5 Easy Pieces is the natural event for you.

If you decide to join Easy Bistro for their NYE celebrations, you will experience five courses of delight by their own Chef Eric. Chef will use five different ingredients for each course, adding the usual local flair. Once you’ve paired it off with wine, it will be time to dance with The Distribution, a local treasure with seven members that always give their all and consistently put on a damn good show. Their Facebook page states that the band is, “A blend of old-school funk and ghetto soul-pop which results in Motown nostalgia with a shot of LCD.” Opening is DJ NIJOLI, who has connections with Leo Handmade Gallery on Frazier and continues in the theme of soul for the night.

4 LOKO’S NYE Party This one goes out to my punk rockers! While using ESP with Tom Childers of JJ’s Bohemia on the decision to go with 4 LOKO as a theme, I came to understand that with the proposed ban on alcoholic energy drinks, JJ’s may be the last place in town to serve this brand. Speed-balling with booze and energy drinks on NYE seems the perfect fit as Hidden Spots and Scum of the Earth fill the void for those not happy with 2010 and wanting to rage it out. Or happy people that like punk music—and still wanting to rage it out. The world works in many ways and these two bands are sure to give you whatever your sweet punk-rock heart desires.

“Once you’ve paired it off with wine, it will be time to dance with The Distribution, a local treasure with seven members that always give their all and consistently put on a damn good show.”

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NYE at The Honest Pint with Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit and The Bohannons So if you haven’t heard or live under a rock, the owners of The Terminal Brewhouse and Hair of The Dog Pub have revamped the old Parkway Billiards and are debuting the

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

beginning of a musical love affair with Chattanooga on NYE. The feel of the building is familiar but new. It’s amazing what light, paint, and some TLC can do. Even the bathrooms give a charmed sense of safety. This building in the past was known for Halloween and New Year’s shows, and in my own life and many others’ had become a local tradition.

A tradition this strong cannot be broken, and proving it will be the sounds of Jason Isbell, formally of The Drive By Truckers, with his band the 400 Unit, and our own local love affair, The Bohannons, opening. This event was the only one mentioned for TN in The Pitchfork Guide to NYE around the world, and one of only 34 mentioned in North America at pitchfork.com, a web-based music review site out of Chicago. This show goes out to my locals. The indie Southern rock infusion of this night will bring together the old and new in order to set the standard for an amazing 2011.

No matter what you do this New Year’s, be safe and have fun! Cheers to 2011!

Funk Ball 2011 The Ballroom at Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter Street 7 p.m. www.selloutpresents.com

5 Easy Pieces Easy Bistro and Bar, 203 Broad Street Dinner, 5:30 p.m.

Music, 10:30 p.m. www.Easybistro.com

4 LOKO’s NYE Party JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd 10 p.m. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit with The Bohannons The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Parkway 9 p.m.

Tickets available at www.rhythm-brews.com

New Music Reviews

By Ernie Paik

Top Ten Releases of 2010 The Magnetic Fields: Realism (Nonesuch)

The latest album from the brilliant songwriter Stephin Merritt is deceptive; ostensibly the band’s folk album, it’s actually a play on the ideas of art and artifice, with some of the most memorable, infectious melodies heard this year.

Dolly Mixture: Everything and More (dollymixture.net)

Joanna Newsom: Have One on Me (Drag City) Quality always trumps quantity, but the harpist/pianist Joanna Newsom delivers both, with an awe-inspiring, lyrically rich, gorgeous triple-album, about oldfashioned decadence and self-sacrifice; it’s an immersive album with ample charms that gradually unveil themselves.

Sun City Girls: Funeral Mariachi (Abduction)

The final studio album of the infamous Sun City Girls, known for being wildly unpredictable and impossibly diverse, turns out to be a surprise for an unexpected reason: it’s deeply beautiful, evoking Ennio Morricone soundtracks and music from north Africa and the Middle East.

Swans: My Father Will Guide Me up a Rope to the Sky (Young God)

After a 13-year hiatus, Michael Gira resurrected his compelling, often harrowing group Swans with this monstrous, smoldering album; it’s the logical progression from his country-death-gospel-folk direction while unmistakably being a Swans album— nightmarish and unforgettable.

Janelle Monáe: The ArchAndroid (Suites II and III) (Bad Boy/Wondaland Arts Society)

Monáe’s remarkable debut full-length is a sci-fi-themed “emotion-picture” that serves as a survey of music from lounge torch songs to funk to classical to hip-hop, often all wrapped up in a single song, demonstrating her impressive eclecticism, imagination, and versatile voice.

This generous 3-disc set spotlights the overlooked British all-woman post-punkera band, which made spirited, irresistible, utterly charming music, serving as an indiepop prototype and drawing from both ‘60s girl groups and punk bands.

Zs: New Slaves (The Social Registry)

The blistering, avant-garde NYC outfit delivers a double-album sonic juggernaut with an unrelenting, brutal intensity, using qualities from minimalism and noise; it’s an album of damaged sounds frantically escaping the band members’ instruments.

Black Tambourine: Black Tambourine (Slumberland)

The early-‘90s D.C.-area noise-pop band Black Tambourine had a small, yet potent discography with thunderous drumming, deliriously overwhelming guitar noise, and Pam Berry’s spine-tingling choir-girl voice; four new tracks plus two demos sweeten the deal.

Kemialliset Ystävät: Ullakkopalo (Fonal)

Kemialliset Ystävät, a.k.a. Finnish soundsculptor Jan Anderzén, creates mindblowing, chaotic pieces with disconnected sound fragments that provide an aural overload—it’s a twisted, manic, exhilarating, out-of-control carousel ride of an album.

The Roots: How I Got Over (Def Jam)

The Philly hip-hop outfit takes a slowburn approach on its absorbing ninth studio album; its nods to indie rock get the attention, but it’s an album with a dark heart and a darker soul—a despairing, fascinating “post-hope” search for solace.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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Music Calendar Thursday Spotlight

Open Mic at The Camp House See who turns up to sing at this weekly event.

8 p.m.

The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com

Thursday Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Mic 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Convertibull 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. thepalmsathamilton.com Video DJ Nick 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com SOULEDOUT! Classic and Modern Soul with DJ K7 10 p.m. The Social, 1110 Market St., Ste. 101.

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The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Friday New Year's Eve Spotlight

Friday Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com Ben Friberg Trio 6 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Funk Ball 2011: The Breakfast Club 7 p.m. The Ballroom at The Chattanooga Convention Center,1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.chattconvention.org Sweet N Lowdown 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400. chattanooganhotel.com Disco Down thru the Countdown with DJ ANDY 9 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. tboneschattanooga.com

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. thepalmsathamilton.com Light Show, Dancing 9 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 820 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. mditownmusichall.com Camp Normal 9 p.m.. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. myspace.com/jimstriker Funktastic 5 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike.

(423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Dagobah Militia 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. marketstreettavern.com Sturgeons Revolations 9 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 756-4786. www.myspace.com/ ziggyshideaway Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit with The Bohannons 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

The Bohannons, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit Blast into 2011 at the new downtown hangout. $12 advance, $15 door 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Parkway

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648-6679.

The Velcro Pygmies 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Hidden Spots, Scum of the F*****g Earth 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia Divine Jazz 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). www.facebook.com/ theofficechatt Downstream 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Music Calendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Friday New Year's Eve Spotlight

Saturday New Year's Day Spotlight

Hidden Spots, Scum Rick Rushing & Blue Strangers of the F*****g 8 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs Earth Another great show to rock open 2011. $6 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 2 31 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

5 Easy Pieces: The Distribution & DJ NIJOLI 10:30 p.m. Easy Bistro & Bar, 203 Broad St. (423) 266-1121. www.easybistro.com

Saturday Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Big Band Dance 7:30 p.m. American Legion Post 95, 3329 Ringgold Rd. (423) 624-9105. americanlegionpost95.org

Downtown, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Sweet N Lowdown 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400. chattanooganhotel.com Derek Welsh Band 9 p.m.. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. myspace.com/jimstriker DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Special Surprise Show 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Sunday Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge, 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com

Monday Strengthen What Remains, In This Hour, Failing The Fairest, Stillglow, Comrades 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd. www.myspace.com/ warehousetn Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 820 Market St., (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com

Tuesday Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Open Mic with Mike DcDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern.

1203 Hixson Pike, (423) 266-1996 www.tremontavern.com

Special Surprise Show Who is it? R&B isn’t saying.

But we hear it's big. $7 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Wednesday Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Jason and the Scorchers & Special Guest Stacie Collins 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

Open Mic with Mark Holder 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia Got a gig coming up that you want to tell the world about?

Email the particulars to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse. com at least ten days before the event for inclusion here.

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Arts & Entertainment

Ten Best Arts Events of 2010

By Michael Crumb

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t’s fair to say that not only was 2010 a strong year for the arts in Chattanooga, but it was also a better year than 2009. Museum arts and public arts have blossomed with consistently strong work. In addition, performance arts have expanded, providing novel experiences. The following list is much less concerned with any kind of ranking than it is with showing the range and depth of aesthetic experience available here.

1. The Bessie Smith Cultural Center featured two important collections this year. Viewers were granted the opportunity to contemplate the broad range and amazing accomplishments of African-American art, showcased both in the “Thompson-Wilson Collection” and in “Southern Journeys,” organized by the Stella Jones Gallery of New Orleans.

2. New public art offerings enhance downtown areas. From the intricacies of “Air Guitar” to the whimsy of “Blue Boy—Pulltoy #1”, the Fourth Biennial Sculpture Exhibition combined beauty and intelligence in its roster of new offerings. Also of great importance, “A Place in the Woods,” a sculptural installation in Renaissance Park enabled by the Hunter Museum, provides interested folks with a multiple-perspective experience. The past year also saw expansion of the River Gallery Sculpture Garden.

3. A major event at CreateHere was the packed-out premiere of Dylan Kussman’s initial webisodes of The Steps, his Chattanooga-based noir film. (See followthesteps.net) Quality film lives in Chattanooga!

4. During the summer, visitors to the Hunter Museum were awestruck by the glass show. The amazing diversity of styles filled the exhibition space with pieces that paradoxically celebrated and belied their common medium—glass.

By the way, it’s still possible to see the Hunter Invitational Show of regional contemporary artists.

5. Performance art surged into new territories. “Dystopia II”, with its additional video array and intense lineup proved even better than Subterranean Circus’s initial “Dystopia” at JJ’s Bohemia.

Additionally, Subterranean Circus brought professional wrestling to JJ’s backstage area.

Folks responded with wild enthusiasm.

6. The recent show of contemporary Chinese art at UTC’s Cress Gallery proved consciousness expanding.

Complex aesthetic presentations and their often-problematic relations to mainstream Chinese culture provided much for thought.

Additionally, the Cress’s Visiting Artists series brought great figural work by painters Rose Freymuth Frazier and Michael Vasquez. The Cress also presented the stunning performative photography installation by Kahn and Selesnick.

7. Chattanooga artist Charlie Newton’s retrospective show at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center provided an opportunity to view 30 years’ of astonishing, visionary painting. The confluence of art and

“ ‘Dystopia II’, with its additional video array and intense lineup proved even better than Subterranean Circus’s initial ‘Dystopia’ at JJ’s Bohemia.”

spirituality found a magnificent oeuvre presented by this patient, good-humored artist.

8. The Steve Keene Art Show and Sale at the Chenoweth-Halligan Gallery proved Chattanoogans’ interest in accessible art. No doubt much of Keene’s work found itself presented to many in the holiday spirit. The first sell-out: “Krystal Burgers”!

9. Mark Ritch has shown all over town.

His painted rock posters of cartoonish iconography have brightened venue boards everywhere advertising coming shows at JJ’s Bohemia. Chattanooga has an interesting and varied history of rock poster art, and Ritch has contributed many fine examples over the past year. Nine times out of ten, his work is the first to catch your eye!

10. The release of Lord Subliminal’s second CD, Lanimilbus Drol, shows how hip-hop can be both sincere and intelligent, while shining an interesting perspective on spiritual life. There has always been good hip-hop out there, but there’s not much good hip-hop all over.

Let’s be glad that the “Lord” has pitched his tent in the better camp!

What has been interesting this year is that many cool events and shows have been “satellites” to this top ten list. Both the Gallery Hop and Main x 24 showed expansions as well. Also, a salute to Christian Collier for bringing spoken-word performance into more and better venues! www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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A&E Calendar Highlights Friday

Thursday

“Triple Whipple”

Three family members all show in this exhibit.

10 a.m. – 5 p.m.

River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, ext. 5. www.river-gallery.com

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Discovery Day 8 a.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544. www.rubyfalls.com Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Adam Hunter 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Deck the Falls Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544. www.rubyfalls.com Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 344-5643.

“Eternal” Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.

“Heirloom” Shuptrine Fine Art & Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

“Beyond Baseball: The Life of Roberto Clemente” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658.

Cat Collier Solo Show

Local artist displays her range at Leo Handmade.

Noon -5 p.m.

Leo Handmade Gallery, 22 Frazier Ave. (423) 634-0440. leogallery.blogspot.com

Saturday - Happy New Year from The Pulse!

True Grit

Never mind Tron; see Jeff Bridges in another great performance in this re-make of the John Wayne classic.

The Rave, 5080 South Terrace, East Ridge.

(423) 855-9652. www.ravemotionpictures.com

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Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Adam Hunter 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, & Giggles Grille. 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com Tennessee Aquarium’s Tropical Holiday Adventure Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Rock City’s Enchanted Garden of Lights Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mountain, GA. www.seerockcity.com Deck the Falls Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544. www.rubyfalls.com

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Georgia Winery New Year’s Celebration 10 a.m. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy, Ringgold, GA. (706) 937-2177. www.georgiawines.com New Years at Noon 11:45 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org Early Bird New Year’s Eve Dinner Cruise 4 p.m. Southern Belle Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy, Pier 2.

(423) 266-4488. www.chattanoogariverboat.com New Year’s Sleep in the Deep 5:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Chattanooga Choo Choo’s “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Party” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. www.choochoo.com

Adam Hunter 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

New Year’s Eve on the River 8 p.m. Southern Belle Riverboat, 201 Riverfront Pkwy, Pier 2.

(423) 266-4488. www.chattanoogariverboat.com Wild in the Winter 8 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.wildinthewinter.com Funk Ball 2010 8 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (615) 497-1549.

Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com “Helping Hands & Winter Wonders” Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org

Sunday Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 11 a.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.com Toy Story 3 3D Noon. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad (800) 265-0695.

Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 2 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad (800) 265-0695.

Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 3 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad (800) 265-0695.

Toy Story 3 3D 4 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad (800) 265-0695.

Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 6 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad (800) 265-0695.

Toy Story 3 3D 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.com

St.

St.

St.

St.

St.

St.

St.

Adam Hunter

Rising young comic who made it to the Last Comic Standing final group. $9 8 p.m.

The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

First Free Sunday Noon. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org “a Pale; place into parts” by Glenn Herbert Davis Sewanee University Art Gallery, 68 Georgia Ave. gallery.sewanee.edu Tennessee Aquarium’s Tropical Holiday Adventure Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 11 a.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Toy Story 3 3D Noon. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 2 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 3 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

A&E Calendar Highlights Monday Kid’s Day Out 9 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org Speak Easy: Spoken Word and Poetry 8 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. www.facebook.com/theofficechatt Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 344-5643.

“Eternal” Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.

“Heirloom” Shuptrine Fine Art & Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Beyond Baseball: The Life of Roberto Clemente” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658.

“Helping Hands & Winter Wonders” Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org

Tuesday Kid’s Day Out 9 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org “a Pale; place into parts” by Glenn Herbert Davis Sewanee University Art Gallery, 68 Georgia Ave. www.sewanee.edu Hunter Invitational 2010 Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 344-5643. www.blackwellautoinc.com “Eternal” Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.

“Heirloom” Shuptrine Fine Art & Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Beyond Baseball: The Life of Roberto Clemente” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658.

Wednesday Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com “Helping Hands & Winter Wonders” Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org Kid’s Day Out 9 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org “a Pale; place into parts” by Glenn Herbert Davis Sewanee University Art Gallery, 68 Georgia Ave. www.sewanee.edu Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 344-5643. www.blackwellautoinc.com “Eternal” Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.

“Heirloom” Shuptrine Fine Art & Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Free First Sunday at the Hunter

Start 2011 off right with a look at the Hunter Invitational Show.

Free Noon to 5 p.m.

Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0918. www.huntermuseum.org

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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Life in the Noog

By Chuck Crowder

Toppling Top Tens W

“At some point in folklore history the wise and mighty List Gods determined that ten is the perfect range to exhaustively explore and rank any sort of mortal subject.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website at www.thenoog.com

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ell, it’s the annual Top Ten Issue, and therefore I must come up with mine in order to be a “team player” here at The Pulse. I’ve come up with a few such countdowns over the years—everyone has—and the current exercise has me thinking more about the making of the list than the list itself. What do you need to keep in mind when constructing such a short list of superlatives?

First, you have to determine what people, places or things are going to be subjectively placed into a single-digit hierarchy. Could be anything. Whatever it ends up being— theme songs, zombie movies, beer flavors— causes both the list maker and those presented with the outcome to not only seriously scrutinize the choices and rankings at hand for achieving mutual agreement, but also causes brains to rack searching for overlooked alternates.

Secondly, you must remember to keep your selections within the confines of ten.

Not nine or eleven, just ten. At some point in folklore history the wise and mighty List Gods determined that ten is the perfect range to exhaustively explore and rank any sort of mortal subject. Why ten I have no idea. It takes twelve steps to anonymously kick alcohol, so maybe shaving two off of that number makes determining a solid set of ten that much harder. Regardless, if something makes the cut, it’s apparently just as important as the nine before it.

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Third, making a list of ten actually requires a list. Coming up with top three or even top five is a manageable mental task that can be arranged and rattled off the top of your head with the greatest of ease. However, a list of ten requires a pencil. Maybe that’s why that number is so significant. It’s too many to remember without the common decency of at least a scrap piece of paper. Let’s get serious here.

Fourth, what kind of list is it going to be?

In other words, are we talking a “greatest hits” or a “best of?” There’s a big difference.

A greatest-hits type of list is based more on fact, as determined by popular demand, sales and/or radio/television airplay for example. A “best of ” on the other hand, is completely subjective based upon an intimate knowledge, appreciation and taste for the subject at hand. “Start Me Up” might be a greatest hit, but would be bumped off my Stones best of in favor of “Hand of Fate” from Black & Blue for sure.

Fifth, is there a “sub-criteria” involved?

Is it the Top Ten movies ever made or the Top Ten by a particular director, actor and/ or within a certain genre? A Top Ten movies list from the ’80s is bound to include a lot more John Hughes’ films than your Top Ten faves, or especially the Top Ten ever made. I don’t think there are many from that decade that would qualify for the big prize on my list, minus Raging Bull, This Is Spinal Tap and perhaps Raising Arizona (off the top of my head).

Sixth, the meat’s in the middle. Coming up with ten, nine, eight, three, two and one is much, much easier than seven, six, five

and four. The separation between six and five for example is minimal at best. Fifth has to be slightly better than sixth, but not as good as fourth and much better than seventh. This can be one of the hardest differentiations on the list. Be careful.

Seventh, is your list from worst to best or in no particular order? This is extremely important. Worst to best challenges your noggin a little harder than “in no particular order.” The latter distinction enables you to more quickly and less subjectively name names with fewer “ahhhh man!?!” rebuttals from the peanut gallery.

This brings us to eighth. You must keep your own counsel when creating a list to be held up for review and criticism from your peers. Naming off choices because that’s what you think the audience wants to hear is just plain chicken. Like when you’re on a first date and you say “Black Flag” cause your current conquest has that button on her tattered purse strap. Cheesy. It’s okay to go with The Clash instead. She probably likes them too (and just as much as you do).

Ninth, keep the pencil sharp. It’s okay to change your mind over time as you are introduced to bigger and better things that knock good old safe choices off of previous lists. Otherwise, “Mickey’s Big Mouths” would still be on my favorite beer list from back in the day (when I didn’t know any better).

Lastly, or tenth as this Top Ten list goes, don’t discount other people’s choices.

Chances are they know what they’re talking about, and by accepting theirs, you’ll likely get to know them a lot better—and in order.

The Pulse • Dining Out Spotlight

Expanding On That Tex-Mex Mojo Review by D. E. Langley When Eve Williams opened the first Mojo Burrito nine years ago, hers was the sole example of a business model she had grown to love in her days in Atlanta. “I’ve always been a fan of mom-and-pop burrito shops,” she related. “I wanted to open a place where people could get healthy, quick food—not fast food. We’re not a franchise of some large corporation.”

Apparently Chattanoogans were ready just such a place. “We have regulars at each location that come in between three and five days a week for lunch,” she told me. That devoted following has allowed for expansion.

Since opening the original store in St. Elmo, Mojo Burrito’s success has led Williams to open two other stores—the Red Bank location has been open since 2006, and the location I visited in East Brainerd opened on Labor Day of this year.

I sampled a wide variety of dishes—truth be told, I tried more items than I expected to find in a “burrito shop,” as that descriptor belies the extensive menu at Mojo Burrito.

Highlights? One of the tastiest was the Papa Bear’s Vegetarian Chili. I assure you, there’s no need for meat in this version, and you won’t miss it. At less than 100 calories per serving, it’s a delicious option for a filling, healthy lunch.

You can also grab some wrapped up and grilled or fried as “Veggie Wedgies”, dippable treats served with sour cream and tomatillo salsa.

I was truthfully shocked and delighted to see Texas Caviar listed on the menu. For those not in the know, it’s a black-eyed pea salad, in this case tossed with tomatoes, green peppers and white corn. The dish lives up to its name,

absolutely popping with freshness in each bite.

Next, I tried the fish tacos. Made by folding a soft, flour tortilla around cornmeal-crusted fresh tilapia (dredged when you order), lettuce and fresh jalapenos, they are served with a remoulade and a pineapple salsa, both of which complement the fish astoundingly well. The remoulade adds a touch of gravity, and the chunky pineapple salsa was a revelation in and of itself. This is not regular salsa with pineapple added, and the sweetness of each chunk shines through alongside the heat of the jalapenos.

I’m not sure when the next time I’ll eat a fish taco anywhere else will be. It’ll have a lot to live up to.

Despite Mojo Burrito’s friendliness towards vegetarians, each meat I sampled was delicious, not just thrown out to appease.

Options for your Mojo Burrito include tender marinated steak, ground chuck cooked down with garlic, and two types of poultry: Key Lime Chicken and my personal favorite option, St. Elmo’s Fire Chicken. The St. Elmo’s Fire is jalapeno-marinated, with an enticing smokiness

throughout.

Mojo Burrito gives more than just delicious, affordable food back to the community. The East Brainerd store has created 20 new jobs, and not your everyday run-of-the-mill restaurant jobs, either. Williams bragged on her employee-retention rate. “We respect our employees, and in turn they respect their jobs and our customers,” she said. The restaurants also support local schools and organizations, as well as other small businesses. They obtain their meat from local butcher shops and locally source as many vegetables as possible.

The desserts on offer when I visited were locally made vegan pastries.

I’d love to go on, and I could, given all the tantalizing tastes I tried, but we’ve only so much room in this space. If you need extra enticement to pop in, you can join their texting list to receive special offers on your mobile by sending “MYMOJO” to 90210. Also, 99-cent tacos are available every Tuesday at the East Brainerd location, every Saturday at Red Bank, and every Sunday at St. Elmo.

But good intentions and deals aren’t what draw customers to eateries—the food is, and Williams knows that. I asked her, short and sweet, why newcomers should give Mojo Burrito a shot. Her reply? “The food just rocks.

Everything is handmade, simple, healthy, and delicious.” I couldn’t have said it any better myself.

Mojo Burrito, 1414 Jenkins Rd. Open Sunday through Thursday, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m., and Friday and Saturday 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

(423) 296-MOJO or mojoburrito.com for more information and other locations.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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Film Feature

Really Good, and Really, Really Bad

By Phillip Johnston & John DeVore Top Ten Best — By Phillip Johnston

Is it a bit facile and presumptuous to make a list of the ten best films of the year? Sure. It is for anyone who hasn’t seen everything. And who has? Every year there is that little film from a country we’ve never heard of that sneaks into someone’s heart at a film festival, rendering it quite genuinely the best film of that year. The rest of us will never see it, but that won’t matter.

Here’s a list anyway—from a lover of cinema who hasn’t seen everything but likes to think he knows what’s good when he sees it.

1. Toy Story 3 Flowing from the same pen as 2006’s Little Miss Sunshine, Pixar’s Toy Story 3 is 2010’s finest family comedy and the year’s best film. With effortless humor and grace, it is that pure and rare movie-going experience capable of satiating the most inattentive teenager and the most cynical adult.

2. Carlos Olivier Assayas is a filmmaker you need to know—and what better way to get to know him than diving into his masterful 5-1/2-hour biopic of Carlos the Jackal, the Venezuelan revolutionary and feared terrorist of the 1970s. Don’t let the duration scare you—this isn’t Roots. I dare you to find one dull frame in Carlos, a film that will surely live on with last year’s Summer Hours as this French director’s finest work.

3. Fish Tank A volatile 15-year-old girl named Mia tries to find some solace amidst her splintered wreck of a family and her alcoholic mother’s new man (Michael Fassbender)—a presence that will change them all forever. True to its title, Fish Tank is a film of relentless claustrophobic pressure that forces us to empathize with characters even when we doubt their motives.

4. Inception

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Everything has already been said about Christopher Nolan’s latest epic, a visionary work that boasts neither gimmicks nor contrivances.

5. The Social Network David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin accomplished something remarkable with their wordy and wonderful Social Network: they made many people hate Mark Zuckerberg, the man who created a thing some of them love more than life itself—Facebook.

6. Mesrine: Killer Instinct/Public Enemy #1 Jean-François Richet’s Mesrine diptych is soaked in action and an odd kind of pathos. Vincent Cassel is flawless as the French gangster Jacques Mesrine and imbues the whole saga with thrilling dramatic

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

consistency. In the end, you’ll be wondering why in the world you were sad to see him die.

7. Black Swan Call it crass and exploitative, but Darren Aronofsky’s Black Swan has flickerings of such stunning grandeur that I would feel guilty letting it slip away unnoticed. It is a fine tragedy, with a truly breathtaking finale and riveting performances by Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

8. Shutter Island Far from a B-movie, Martin Scorsese’s Shutter Island is pure noir, a multi-layered gothic puzzle accompanied by a disorienting modern classical score. It’s uncannily rewatchable.

9. Catfish Like Inception, the less you know about this little documentary gem before watching it the better. But if you do watch it, prepare to be stunned, for the truth is both bigger and more surprising than you would think.

10. Winter’s Bone In an effort to keep her family together, an Ozark Mountain girl named Ree Dolly goes on a search for her missing father who has found himself in drug-dealing trouble. Dark and twisted but entirely moving, Winter’s Bone is a fitting character study in which Jennifer Lawrence gives one of the year’s best performances.

Top Ten Worst — By John DeVore

As a general rule, I avoid seeing bad movies. It isn’t hard, really. Usually, film trailers have clues in them that indicate the quality of the film itself. For instance, if the film is directed by Michael Bay, or if it is entirely based on a twominute SNL sketch, or if the film is a remake of a television show from the ’80s, or stars Nicolas Cage as the savior of humanity, or has its roots in a Hasbro toy, or the majority of the cast is made of CGI animals, chances are your money can be better spent elsewhere.

On the next page is my list of the Worst Films of 2010.

Film Feature

New In Theaters

10. Furry Vengeance Receiving a score of 8 percent out of 100 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, this film about nature wreaking havoc on Brendan Fraser was billed as a family comedy. The humor, however, was overshadowed by the overwhelming sadness found in the shambles of Fraser’s career.

9. MacGruber Dear Saturday Night Live: Just because something is funny for three minutes doesn’t mean it’s funny for an hour and a half. P.S. “MacGruber” was never funny.

8. Sex and the City 2 I was unlucky enough to see the first film adaptation of the popular HBO series.

Audiences were saddled with unbridled excess and vapidity. The second proved that the series should have been put out to pasture long ago. Also, Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse.

7. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse Sparkling teenage vampires fight shirtless teenage werewolves for the hand of the boring and melodramatic Bella Swan. The “Twilight” series is an expensive way to take a nap.

6. Vampires Suck The latest in a long series of unfunny spoof movies, this film doesn’t deserve to be included in the same category championed by the late, great Leslie Neilson.

5. The Last Airbender The poster child for hastily added postproduction 3D, The Last Airbender was a nonsensical adaptation of a popular cartoon series, and another nail in the coffin for director M. Night Shyamalan.

4. Case 39 Filmed in 2006, completed in 2007, this film was one no one wanted released. The fact that it was is scarier than anything that happens in the movie.

3. Resident Evil: Afterlife This movie stars Milla Jovovich. It also has zombies. However, the producers didn’t appear to hire a writer.

2. Piranha 3D Disgusting in every sense of the word, Oscar-winning players and gimmicky 3D effects couldn’t save this film from simple editing failures and absurd death scenes.

1. Grown Ups Possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.

There is nothing at all funny about this movie. Time flies when you’re having fun; Grown Ups lasted approximately 127 hours and I didn’t even get the relief of cutting off my own arm.

Country Strong A drama centered on a rising countrymusic songwriter who sparks with a fallen star. Together, they mount his ascent and her comeback, which leads to romantic complications involving her husband/ manager and a beauty queen-turned-singer.

It’s well known by now how star Gwyneth Paltrow learned how to play guitar in order to bring authenticity to her role, highlighted by a performance at the Country Music Association awards ceremony. What is pleasantly surprising is how much of an enjoyable—and authentic—take on the backroom machinations that surround Nashville and the country music business comes through in Country Strong. Targeted firmly at Middle America, the film knows its audience and delivers as promised.

Directed by Shana Feste Starring Garrett Hedlund, Gwyneth Paltrow, Leighton Meester Blue Valentine A look at the idyllic past and troubled present of working-class couple Dean and Cindy. When “Valentine” debuted at the Sundance Film Festival earlier this year,

watch as we approach awards season.

Gosling and Williams are in top form, and writer-director Derek Cianfrance may be right in the mix for directorial and writing nominations.

Starring Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams, John Doman Directed by Derek Cianfrance

reviewers raved about both the intensity of the grueling drama and the performances of Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams.

While the festival circuit is known for hyperbole, this is a film that bears close

Another Year A look at four seasons in the lives of a happily married couple and their relationships with their family and friends— who are all quite miserable. Director Mike Leigh, who dominated the field with this type of drama throughout the ’80s, appears to be regaining his touch. This, his latest, has not been as warmly embraced by critics as Happy-Go-Lucky, nor is it garnering the type of awards-buzz that Vera Drake did, but the reunion of Leigh veterans such as Jim Broadbent and Ruth Sheen is already picking up a lot of word-of-mouth from older audiences who supported his earlier films.

Starring Jim Broadbent, Ruth Sheen, Lesley Manville Directed by Mike Leigh

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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Riley's Spirits Within To Infinium and Beyond!

By Joshua Hurley This week’s “Great Buy” brings to mind a statement made by William Blake: “If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.” So remove all of your preconceived notions of what beer and champagne should be and prepare for Infinium Ale. In our Great Buys, Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson picks something special from the area’s largest and lowest priced selection of adult beverages from around the globe and shares it with Chattanooga’s readership of The Pulse.

Infinium Ale is an exciting new product from two of the most respected beer companies in the world and combines two different styles of brewing: the American innovation behind the Boston Beer Company and the old-world techniques of the Bavarian Brewery Weihenstephan. The Boston Beer Company was founded in 1984

by Jim Koch, Harry Rubin and Lorenzo Lomadrid in Boston. The brewery’s flagship label, Samuel Adams, was created to honor the real Samuel Adams, the American patriot who is famous for his roles in the American Revolution and the Boston Tea Party—and who also happened to be a home brewer.

Since its creation, the Boston Beer Company has become the largest American-owned brewery in the United States.

Across the Atlantic, the Weihenstephan Abbey was once a monastery, created in 768, but by 1040, religion had changed over to brewing beer and with that early inception date, it can claim to be the oldest brewery in the world.

To Europeans and serious brew enthusiasts alike, Weihenstephan Brewery produces two muchsought-after labels: a highalcohol-content wheat beer called “Weissbier” and “Vitus”, a strong

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lager. Both beers are featured prominently at European beer festivals such as Oktoberfests.

It’s hard to imagine Sam Adams, the patriot who was not enthused about any type of non-American interference with his daily life, partnered with Germans, but it’s 2010 and the times, well, they are a changin’. According to a survey conducted by Wakefield Research Group, 60 percent of men would rather toast the New Year with beer than champagne. So, Infinium is just in time.

Infinium Ale is brewed with strict compliance to the Reinheitsgebot Purity Law, also known as the Bavarian or German Purity Brewing Law, which states that the only ingredients to be used in beer are water, barley and hops. Strangely this law was repealed in 1988, but many German beers still adhere to it, claiming it as a badge of honor to be made under this original statute.

It’s believed that Napoleon once compared some German beers to champagne and it’s a little strange just how close this one actually comes. Infinium Ale comes corked in a champagne-style 750mL bottle with a label that harkens back to a turn-of-the-century magic-show advertisement. Once poured into a glass, preferably a champagne flute, you’ll notice this beer’s bright, golden color. Its head is light, but contains a bubble stream like, yes, once again, champagne.

This beer contains aromas of pineapple, lemon and passion fruit. Infinium Ale doesn’t have the heavy mouthful most beers of this type have. Instead, it’s medium-to-pleasant with a dry, yes, champagne-like, aftertaste.

Infinium Ale will only be available for a limited time, and is a perfect way to bring in the New Year with something different. Everyday low prices at Riley’s: $18.99 plus tax.

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Free Will Astrology CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “We Americans are the best informed people on earth as to the events of the last 24 hours,” wrote historian Will Durant some decades ago. “We are the not the best informed as to the events of the last sixty centuries,” he concluded. Today this describes many Westerners, not just Americans.

We are adrift in the Age of the Short Attention Span—a time when the lessons of the past are becoming lost or irrelevant. But in 2011, I’ll be rooting for you to elude this curse, Capricorn. It’s crucial for you to be in close touch with both the lessons provided by the grand sweep of human civilization and by your own personal history.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority,” said author A.A. Milne. “The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The firstrate mind is only happy when it is thinking.” You will have an excellent chance to cultivate that definition of a first-rate mind in 2011, Aquarius. According to my reading of the astrological omens, life will be conspiring to strengthen your brain. You will have everything going for you if you make it your intention to sharpen your wits, use language more precisely, and see the world with greater clarity and objectivity. To get the fun started, make a list of what you could do to push your intelligence beyond its current limits.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness,” said philosopher Bertrand Russell. If I had my way, Pisces, you’d write that on a note and tape it to your bathroom mirror for the duration of 2011. I think it would raise your appreciation for the power your personal gifts have to bestow blessings on both yourself and others. And I hope it would inspire you to spend a lot of quality time finding out all you can about what you’re good at and deepening your capacity to do what you’re good at.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed,” said writer Irene Peter. That should be cautionary advice for you in 2011, Aries. From what I can tell, it will be relatively easy for you to rearrange the way things look, but trickier to transform them from the inside out. You will have to be vigilant to keep from getting swept up in the giddiness of big talk at the expense of practical action. You’ll have to push hard to make sure that seductive ideas are translated into concrete details. Can you do it? I think you can.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 1967, John McCain was a U.S. Navy pilot fighting in Vietnam. Shot down during a bombing mission, he was captured and jailed in the notorious Hanoi Hilton prison camp, where he was tortured. After being freed in 1973, he returned to the U.S. and eventually launched a political career.

When he ran for president in 2008, his candidacy got an endorsement from an unlikely source: Tran Trong Duyet, the Vietnamese prison commander who had supervised his torture. In the coming months, Taurus, I expect you to experience a turnaround that will have comparable poetic justice. I’m not sure how it will unfold. Maybe an adversary will praise you, a person who wounded you will make amends, or a force of nature that once opposed you will come over to your side. Twenty-eleven will be a Year of Vindicating Reversals.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Can you finally escape the pain you got imprinted with during adolescence? Is it a realistic possibility that you could triumph over the conditioning you absorbed before you knew how to talk? Do you have the power to do what few of us have done, which is to get out from under the weight of the past, shed the inertia of your memories, and live brave and free in the raw truth of NOW? If there will ever in your life be a time when you can accomplish at least some of this noble quest, Gemini, it will be in 2011.

By Rob Brezsny

Truthrooster@gmail.com CANCER (June 21-July 22): Decades ago, the U.S. built a network of sleek expressways to make it fast and easy for cars to travel between cities. But like many of America’s impressive engineering feats, this one took little account of what the human soul might enjoy. Ugly buildings or empty spaces surround many of those roads. Visually, the difference between I-95 in Georgia and I-74 in Illinois is negligible. “The Interstate highway system has made it possible,” said Charles Kuralt, “to go from sea to shining sea without seeing anything.” You cannot afford to let this be your operative metaphor in 2011, Cancerian. Your potential for rapid, extensive progress is sizable, but it would be a mistake to barrel along with your eyes fixed on the prize in the distance as you neglect what’s happening along the way. Be both global and local; romance the details as you revel in the big picture.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Fixing people’s teeth is one of Dr. Peter Kertesz’s specialties. The British dentist has a thriving business in London. Now and then he’s also called on to practice an exotic variation: animal dentistry. Recently, he corrected the tooth problems of two tigers in a zoo. Other species he has helped include elephants, whales, and pandas. In 2011, Leo, I suggest you consider branching out like Dr. Kertesz. What would be the equivalent, in your domain, of expanding the ways you use your primary skills?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “What can I do with this eternal longing?” That’s the first line of “Assouf,” a song by the African band Tinariwen. During the rest of the tune, the singer never offers a definitive answer to that plea, but as he tumbles and rumbles over the possibilities, the band plays a lot of righteous music. I suggest that you make Tinariwen’s cry your question of the year in 2011. It will be an excellent use of your time to meditate on how to call forth, nurture, and direct your ineffable, insatiable yearning. (Hear the song: http://tinyurl.com/Assouf.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 2011, I believe you will have the chance to weave your fortunes together with an abundance of allies who are good for you. They will be your equals, they will share at least some of your most important values, and they will respect you for who you are. That’s excellent news, right? My only worry is that you might shy away from the demands that such invigorating collaborations will make on you. It would be less work, after all, to fall back into reliance on more prosaic relationships that don’t ask so much of you.

Please don’t take the easy way out, Libra. Rise to the occasion!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Michelangelo didn’t think of himself as primarily a painter. Sculpture was his first love. Yet in 1508 he was coaxed into painting prodigious frescoes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

As he worked for four years, covering 12,000 square feet with sublime images, he sometimes complained and felt resentful. The project took him away from two large sculptures he would have preferred to be working on.

He feared his enemies had convinced the Pope to give him this task in order to demonstrate how mediocre his painting was. But today his work at the Sistine Chapel is regarded as a masterpiece. I suspect that in 2011 you may face a version of Michelangelo’s dilemma, Scorpio: being offered a job you don’t consider your forte. It’s quite possible, however, that accepting this “diversion” will yield interesting results.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “When I became a man I put away childish things,” said Sagittarian author C.S. Lewis, “including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” I suggest you take up that attitude yourself in 2011, Sagittarius. One of your top assignments in the coming months will be to play with greater intensity and more frequency and a heightened imagination. If you want to achieve your adult goals, you’ll be wise to recreate your childhood wisdom on a higher octave.

JONESIN’

Across 1 Recipe amt.

4 Less leafy, like a tree 9 Govt. group with a director 12 Evening, in France 13 “___ of Two Cities” 14 “I got you good on that one!”

15 ___ extra charge 16 Mail-in payment 18 Caught the villain, on the piano?

20 “The Waste Land” poet 21 How-___ (instruction guides) 22 In ___ (hurried) 25 Free letters in the “Wheel of Fortune” bonus round 27 Audrey Tautou role 28 Cole slaw left out in the sun, on the piano?

32 Pet for Harry Potter

35 Prince’s unpronounceable symbol, for one 36 Boxing match div.

37 Make a pop star eat the meat dress she wore, on the piano?

42 Person with phobias 43 Roots expose it 47 Combine 48 Getaway spot 51 Winter month, in Mexico 52 “Stayin’ Alive” is suddenly unhip, on the piano?

55 Rips to shreds 57 Sea eagle variety 58 Storyline paths 59 Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, for one 60 Dipstick wipers 61 Bug 62 Full of lip 63 Sault ___ Marie Canals Down 1 Wrecks (a car)

“Key Words”

–played on the piano.

2 Encouragement to a vocalist 3 Woods’ field 4 Shakespeare, for one 5 Troubled 6 Filmdom’s “one man army” 7 Sewing machine inventor Howe 8 Like some generals: abbr.

9 2000s wireless company 10 Ltd., in the States 11 Mellow 12 Swashbuckler’s sword 14 Croatian capital 17 Second side in a game, perhaps 19 Sicilian volcano 23 Omen 24 Pay attention to 26 Painter Degas 27 Reacted to a trapeze artist 29 Taina of “The Mir-

ror Has Two Faces” 30 “___ think so?”

31 Annenberg/___ (non-profit behind educational programming) 32 “...long walk ___ short pier” 33 Stash stuff 34 Trace (to) 38 Substances that make paint set more quickly 39 Trait carriers 40 Gave the look to 41 Wheel covers 44 Be derisive to 45 “___ you glad I didn’t say ‘banana’?”

46 Indicates 48 Shade in old pictures 49 Rings out 50 Fuzzy ‘dos 53 Hiatuses 54 Court figure: abbr.

55 ___ chi 56 Mess up

Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0500.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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Ask A Mexican

By Gustavo Arellano

Year-End Mexicans-Do-Assimilate Edition

“There are still too many people in this country who truly, honestly believe Mexis will always wear the metaphorical sombrero, sleep under the proverbial cactus, and drink the figurative tequila.

If only!”

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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Dear Readers, Wish I could say I was back on the rancho, but you know how that drug war of ours (both Mexican and American) is going, so the Mexican decided to stay home for the holidays for the first time in decades.

Besides, there’s too much work at mano.

The failure by the Senate to pass the DREAM Act—which would’ve made citizens out of those young adults who came to this country as children and either go to college or join the military—shows that there are still too many people in this country who truly, honestly believe Mexis will always wear the metaphorical sombrero, sleep under the proverbial cactus, and drink the figurative tequila. If only!

If only there truly was a Reconquista! If only Mexicans were as sinister as the hype paints us! But our reputation precedes us.

Fact is—as this column shows week in, week out—Mexicans become Americans in this country, a reality even the most Aztlanista among us must face.

In that spirit, I give the Senate a belated Christmas present, one ustedes should regalar to the Know Nothing in your family: my favorite assimilation preguntas Dear Mexican, Why is it that Mexicans can be put into two working classes: Those who work their asses off while everyone else takes a siesta, and those who take a siesta while everyone else works their asses off?

— Person Understandably Ticked Off

The Pulse | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | December 30, 2010 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Dear PUTO, You have to realize it’s the parents who never take the siesta—it’s their children who slag off and become the stereotypical lazy Mexican gabachos so relish. In a 1993 sociological study, famed ethnographers Alejandro Portes and Min Zhou found that the more assimilated a Mexican-American youngster was, the worse his lot in life would be.

“Seeing their parents and grandparents confined to humble menial jobs and increasingly aware of discrimination against them by the white mainstream,” Portes and Zhou wrote, “U.S.-born children of earlier Mexican immigrants readily join a reactive subculture as a means of protecting their sense of self-worth.”

Translation: Mexican kids see their parents sweat and toil to move out of that dangerous apartment and into a dingy condo, and then resign from life. While the parents continue to work 18-hour days to make the rent, the kids leave for college, wear a Che shirt for a couple of years and travel through Central America to “find themselves.”

They return as shiftless, lazy flojos who become vegetarians and talk of revolution while bouncing from collection job to collection job. In other words, they become Americans.

Dear Mexican, Why don’t Mexicans have enough gratitude for America to learn to speak English? Are they too stupid? Too lazy? What—they can’t

learn two or three words a day? Is this asking too much?

— Took Four Years of Spanish in High School Dear Gabacho, The United States government shares your concerns, Took Four Years. Its Dillingham Commission released a 42-volume study on the waves of immigrants that concluded, “The new immigration as a class is far less intelligent than the old…Generally speaking they are actuated in coming by different ideals, for the old immigration came to be a part of the country, while the new, in a large measure, comes with the intention of profiting, in a pecuniary way, by the superior advantages of the new world and then returning to the old country.”

The Dillingham report went on to fault the new immigrants for their lack of assimilation and English skills, constantly contrasting them with earlier generations of immigrants, and urged clampdowns on immigration.

Sound familiar?

That’s because the Dillingham report appeared in 1911, and the inassimilable masses at the time were eastern and northern Europeans. The Dillingham Commission proves that the time-honored conservative anecdote that earlier generations of immigrants walked off the boats, chopped down their multisyllabic surnames and learned English immediately is bull-pinche-shit.

American racism is a carousel—and here we are again.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | December 30, 2010 | Vol. 7, Issue 52 | The Pulse

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