The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 1

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

FREE • News, Views, Music, Film, Arts & Entertainment • January 6, 2011 • Volume 8, Issue 1 • www.chattanoogapulse.com

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President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor / Layout Design Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih Townes Webb Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Kat Dunn Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chris Brooks, Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb, Allison Gorman Janis Hashe, Joshua Hurley Matt Jones, Kelly Lockhart Ernie Paik, Gary Poole Alex Teach, Tara V Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

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The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

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2011

cover story

Contents

e OF we xt ne

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

AL Y E se NU OR LS Pul AN ST PU he HI HE in T T k

JANUARY

8 NEW YEAR, NEW OPTIONS

By Janis Hashe Another new year, another set of resolutions, many of them about health. “This is the year I will (quit smoking, embrace wellness, get fit, take better care of my skin)”—you fill in the blank. We’ve all been there—and we’ve all failed, at least some of the time. So what are some strategies to make 2011 the year you really do it? We talked with experts in the fields.

news & views

feature stories

PULSE BEATS BEYOND THE HEADLINES ON THE BEAT LIFE IN THE NOOG ASK A MEXICAN

By Tara V These groups are new and old, and come from many different genres. I talked with a few trusty musical minds around town to get suggestions because this is a list of bands that I will also be seeing for the first time!

5 6 13 24 30

21 ROCKING THE POSTER (ART)

everything else

14 FIVE LOCAL BANDS TO WATCH IN 2011

By Michael Crumb Bulletin boards around town have been enlivened by colorful, cartoonish posters featuring hep cats and hippie girls, racing cars and rocket ships, along with suggestions of iconic cartoon figures that persist within our cultural sensorium.

26 CAVING:THE INDOOR/OUTDOOR SPORT

By Allison Gorman When it’s gray and blustery outside, a day on the couch with nachos and Netflix has its merits. But when winter sets in for good, even the best man cave can start to close in on you.

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EDITOON LETTERS TO THE EDITOR CITY COUNCILSCOPE POLICE BLOTTER THE LIST NEW MUSIC REVIEWS MUSIC CALENDAR A&E CALENDAR NEW IN THEATERS SPIRITS WITHIN FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

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Letters to the Editor An Alex Teach Christmas I have saved the paper copy of the Christmas edition of The Pulse, just to have Alex Teach’s story handy for a while. A story from the world just beyond our car windows, where those of us able to pass on by never shared a campfire with Joe, who lived feral as a stray animal. Found dead by Teach under brilliant stars. Under the same stars another life later begins, a man and a woman sheltering in abandoned property as their child is born. Three police visitors entered, strange Magi, but only Teach rendered aid as the baby came into the cold world. Teach: “But now, for certain, there was no longer frost just beneath the surface of me.” Thanks for that Christmas Story, Alex Teach.

Felix Miller Mayoral Visitation I would like to take a moment to address the issue of Mayor Ron Littlefield’s spokesman Richard Beeland’s statement that “Officers who are using the death of a fellow officer as an opportunity to criticize the mayor’s take-home car policy should be

ashamed.” These words never came from the mouth of a police officer; Mr. Beeland has most distastefully placed them there.

This was the specific wish of a grieving family made the day of Investigator James Hostetter’s shocking death. The Hostetter family had endured stress they felt was caused by Mayor Littlefield in the recent years of his life, and politely asked that the Mayor not visit the family. When the Mayor arrived at the visitation, he was just as politely asked to leave, by the family. This was a funeral for a lost father, husband, brother and more. This was not a “police event”, and never was until Mr. Beeland addressed it as such. A family gets to choose its guests at a funeral or visitation. To imply the grieving family were the ones being impolite in this situation is beyond my words to address.

C.W. Joel It would be in Mr. Beeland’s best interest to do his research and know what he is talking about before he opens his mouth.

Fact is, Mr. Littlefield was asked by the family, not the officers, not to attend. It

is unfortunate that Mr. Beeland, a city official, would so quickly slander the character of this city’s officers without first checking his facts.

Name Withheld By Request The Mayor is still the mayor and represents the City of Chattanooga. This is true despite any unpopular policies. In the scheme of things the policies mean little but the recognition of the Investigator’s service and the honor of the Mayor’s visit was significant. Denying it due to pouting over an unpopular policy change was beyond petty.

Rob Fish I am somewhat familiar with the Chattanooga Police Department and am amazed at how the city treats their rank and file officers. No pay increases, they pay part of the medical insurance, they move people around, and deal with them through the media. The car privilege was in lieu of a pay increase. And some wonder why morale is poor and staffing is difficult.

Jerry Martens

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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Pulse Beats

A weekly rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

Sound Bites “No matter how necessary, change almost always leads to complaints and controversy.”

— Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield, responding to recent criticism of his decision to charge mileage for all users of city-owned vehicles when using them outside of normal duty hours.

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, January 11 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

VII. Resolutions: c) A resolution authorizing the purchase of an Atomic Absorption Spectrophotometer for the Laboratory at the Moccasin Bend Wastewater Treatment Plant from Perkin-Elmer for a total cost of $63,021.45, with a contingency of $1,000.00 to cover freight costs.

Not everything the city council deals with is a political hot potato (like so many of their other ordinances and resolutions). This one, for example, deals with spending city funds on something that is not only needed for water safety, but also has an incredibly cool name. Who wouldn’t want an Atomic Absorption Spectrophotometer in their basement or garage? OK, maybe not everyone, but for those of us who always dreamed of having our own Batman-inspired Batcaves, this piece of equipment would fit right in.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agenda, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

Population Grows—But Income Not Keeping Up The population of Chattanooga, Hamilton County and surrounding counties continues to grow—but living costs have been rising faster than income, and affordable housing and foreclosures continue to be major sources of economic concern, according to the fourth of the 2010 State of the Chattanooga Region Report series, released last week by the Ochs Center for Metropolitan Studies. The report, based on public data, survey data and data collected from federal and local agencies, focuses on conditions across Catoosa, Dade, Hamilton, Marion, Sequatchie and Walker counties. A 2010 survey of Hamilton County residents found that 75 percent of Hamilton County residents identified “affordable housing” as very important to their quality of life, consistent with findings from the 2006 and 2008 survey findings.

David Eichenthal, president of the Ochs Center, is quoted: “Our region is growing—with population up by nearly ten percent across the MSA, in Hamilton County and in Chattanooga. While housing availability has kept pace with population growth, income has not kept pace with increases in housing cost. Even though our region has relatively low housing costs, our slow rate of income growth has created an affordability issue different from that experienced in other large and mid-size regions.”

Key findings of the report include: • Between 2000 and 2010, the Chattanooga Metropolitan Statistical

Area (MSA) grew by nearly 50,000 residents. Hamilton County, with nearly two-thirds of the population, accounted for 61 percent of the growth.

Sequatchie County led the six-county metro area with a 22.4 percent increase in population—more than two times the metro average.

• Chattanooga’s 10.2 percent population increase between 2000 and 2009 led Hamilton County (9.5 percent) and the MSA (10 percent). The growth rate for Chattanooga was about four times the rate of population growth in the 1990s. Excluding Chattanooga, population in the rest of Hamilton County grew by 8.9 percent—compared to 14.5 percent in the 1990s.

• Since 2000, living costs in Hamilton County have been rising faster than income. For homeowners in Hamilton County, cost increased by 33.4 percent, while income grew by 23.3 percent. For renters, cost increased by 27.5 percent—more than double the increase in renter median income. In Hamilton County, the median sales price for homes reached a peak of $150,000 in 2008, up 27 percent from 2002, before dropping to $140,000 in 2009.

“Data on both subprime lending and foreclosures in Hamilton County demonstrate the clear impact of the housing finance crisis on neighborhoods across the county. Subprime loans spiked in 2005 and 2006—nearly doubling over two years—leading to more than three thousand foreclosures between 2007 and 2009,” said Eichenthal.

News Briefs • Chattanooga radio listeners and broadcasters are mourning the loss of one of their own this week. Longtime Chattanooga on-air personality Chester Smith, who went by the air name Max Hackett, was found dead of natural causes in his apartment early Monday morning. Smith, who recently returned to the airwaves as a member of the morning show on News Talk 95.3 WPLZ in October, had been a talk-radio host and music disc jockey in the Chattanooga market for the better part of the past three decades.

• A 150-room hotel and conference center proposed for Lookout Mountain may be shelved indefinitely. Much of the funding for the Canyon Ridge complex was to come from federal stimulus funds, but that was dependent upon developers raising other funding. Twenty-one million of the $56 million needed to build the facility was to come from bonds, but the bonds didn’t sell by the December 31 deadline. Improvements to the golf course and a new fire station have also been put on hold as a result. Developers say they are exploring other options, but do not appear optimistic at this time.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | January 6, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 1 | The Pulse

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Beyond The Headlines

Community Deserving Of Good Leadership

By Chris Brooks

Special to The Pulse

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n 1979, several hundred publichousing residents of Chattanooga’s Westside community charged into a meeting of the Chattanooga Housing Authority and demanded access to the interest that been accruing on their collective security deposits for several decades. They wanted these funds, which amounted to some $6 million, so that Resident Association leaders could be sent to workshops, to fund a broader 24-hour emergency maintenance service, to provide security guards and build recreational facilities.

They brazenly stood before the meeting authorities and made their demands. “They [CHA board members] didn’t know what to do, we were there and we weren’t leaving,” said Betty Bishop, a resident leader of the Westside community for the last 50 years who helped organize that historic moment. “We left that day with $2 million and then the city started to call in black leaders from around the country to try and calm us down.”

The Westside residents involved in this direct action were part of the newly formed Citywide Organization; a grassroots coalition of Christian ministers, political activists and low-income families from all over Chattanooga who were marching and rallying three and sometimes four days a week. During

the summer of 1979, when a particularly brutal heat wave led to numerous elderly deaths in low-income communities, Citywide organizers put pressure on political leaders to declare a state of emergency and use the ensuing federal funds for the installation of airconditioners and to subsidize high electric bills in Chattanooga public housing. The Citywide Organization was also leading media tours through area public housing, so that reports on rat-bitten children and leaking sewage would become public record.

Chattanooga’s current leadership shows the same lack of concern as the leadership of the past and many of today’s citizens have become disempowered. There come each year stories of men and women who freeze to death in Chattanooga’s winters, or suffocate in the heat of our tourist season.

Today’s Electric Power Board prides itself on their grand, all-night wintertime Christmas lights while they turn off power to homes unable to pay high electric bills during the day. In the heat of August, Chattanooga pays for water to spray from the ground all day in Coolidge Park while water is turned off at some of these same poor homes. It’s unacceptable.

for those they claim to lead, citizens are equally responsible to those they live next door to. The great American orator Frederick Douglass once said, “Power concedes nothing without a demand.

It never has and never will.” We can’t even begin to make greater demands of political elites if we aren’t making greater demands of one another. If we want real leadership, then we must be equal to it, and we must force ourselves to rise to the challenge of distributing common decency.

That is the historical lesson provided by Westside residents like Betty Bishop and the other organizers who created the historical changes that saved lives and improved the living conditions for the most vulnerable among us. And after nearly five decades of service to her community, Betty Bishop, now frail and elderly, is still a model citizen and community hero. Her words, deeds, and very life are a profound example of the kind of exemplary political leadership that we are lacking. Our city needs more Bettys, and our citizens need to begin making more demands.

Consider the county commission’s recent decisions following Claude Ramsey’s announcement that he was resigning as county mayor. The commission privately decided not to hold a special election, shutting

“If we want real leadership, then we must be equal to it, and we must force ourselves to rise to the challenge of distributing common decency.”

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It is easy for people to take these things into account, then point their blaming fingers at our leadership. While our leaders are responsible

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down the primary democratic channel for popular participatory power.

They took it upon themselves to conduct the process of determining the next mayor in secret. County commissioners have made no greater demands of the electorate (the county commission meets in the morning, when the majority of people are unable to attend) and have often made hostile, reactionary statements in response to public criticism of their lack of transparency.

These kinds of backdoor political procedures have become the norm. Our city’s political establishment has become characterized by its narrow decision-making processes, mediocre leaders, and a failure to appreciate our greatest resource: the people.

The past still has not left us. It’s time that we follow the example set by Betty Bishop and other Westside residents and more fully engage our neighbors, businesses, and government in the process of helping determine our own future.

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• If you’re driving an overdue rental car and cashing bad checks, don’t tell police you were carjacked. Chances are, they aren’t going to believe you, especially if you make the claim after running from officers. A Georgia couple was arrested in Collegedale over the weekend for cashing phony checks. Police stopped an overdue rental car for driving recklessly. When the car stopped, the driver bolted from the car into a nearby field, while the passenger claimed she had been carjacked.

She then admitted she and the driver had been going to banks in Georgia cashing fraudulent checks. The driver eventually came out of the woods and surrendered to police. Both were charged with a variety of traffic crimes, while the check-cashing story remains under investigation.

• A trio of young adults have learned the hard way that earth-moving equipment is not something to play with.

Information that developed as part of a joint investigation by the McMinn County Sheriff ’s Office, the Athens Police Department, and the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation resulted in the filing

of charges against three men who caused extensive damage to heavy equipment at the site of the new Cleveland airport. Back on November 16, construction workers discovered heavy damage had been inflicted to a road grader, bulldozer and a dump truck, in excess of $100,000. The three men, ranging in age from 18 to 20, were easy to find, as they were already in custody in the McMinn County jail on unrelated charges. They were transferred to Bradley County and officially charged with felony vandalism.

• Sex offenders are required by law to register their current address. When they don’t, or worse yet, lie about their home address, they will get caught.

Which is what happened to one 44-yearold sex offender last week who was arrested after giving authorities a false address when he last registered. A subsequent check by Hamilton County sheriff ’s deputies discovered he did not live where he had claimed. Authorities say this is not the first time the man has violated the sex

As Seen On TV Those commercials and infomercials hawking all sorts of strange products have been a part of television for years.

But which of the current pitches are the most successful?

registry laws, having been arrested several times over the past four years for the same charges.

• And quick action by East Ridge police solved a series of auto burglaries within a matter of minutes. Shortly after residents at the New Castle Apartments reported their vehicles had been broken into on Sunday, a traffic stop was made just over the state line. The vehicle matched the description witnesses gave police. Inside was an 18-year-old man who was found with many of the items described as stolen. He’s been charged with a variety of offenses, and the stolen items were promptly returned to their respective owners.

1. Proactive. The anti-acne facial cleanser hawked by Justin Bieber, P. Diddy, and Jessica Simpson (to name a few) has become a sensation in its own right, and according to independent research, is actually quite effective.

2. Bowflex Home Gym. The tensionsystem home gym features some of the hottest people on TV. Whether they got way from the Bowflex or not is never all that clear, but they are nice to look at.

3. ShamWow. The infomercial that made Vince Shlomi a star (before his unfortunate run-ins with law enforcement) and convinced millions of people to shell out $20 for four super-absorbent towels.

4. Showtime Pro Electric Rotisserie Oven. Everyone loves chicken, right?

From the legendary Ron Popeil, who has brought us everything from the Pocket Fisherman to Hair in a Can, this roaster has been his most successful product.

5. Carleton Sheets Real Estate Tutorial. Sheets has been hawking his realestate-selling formula since the ’80s and shows no signs of slowing down, housing market conditions be damned.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | January 6, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 1 | The Pulse

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Cover Story

Health, Wellness, Fitness, Beauty: New Year, New Options

By Janis Hashe

Pulse Contributing Editor

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nother new year, another set of resolutions, many of them about health. “This is the year I will (quit smoking, embrace wellness, get fit, take better care of my skin)”—you fill in the blank.

We’ve all been there—and we’ve all failed, at least some of the time. So what are some strategies to make 2011 the year you really do it? We talked with experts in the fields of health, wellness, fitness and beauty about one specific question in each area. See if some of their advice gives you the tips to keep going.

Health: Helping the Quitter Win Once again, thousands, maybe millions, of Americans make the vow to stop smoking. Hands down, this is one of the best things you can do to live a healthier life. But the complicated brain chemistry dance created by smoking, which involves release of the “ultimate feel-good chemical” in the brain, dopamine, means that the addiction is, for most people, very hard to give up. In addition, says Carolyn Dean, M.D., N.D., and author of 16 books on health, “Addictive chemicals are purposely put in tobacco, making it very difficult to give up. Tobacco is cured with sugar, which stimulates combined sugar and tobacco cravings.”

And Tennessee, with 23.1 percent of adults ages 18 and older still smoking, ranks 46th in the nation for lowest population of smokers, according to the CDC. So what are the best strategies for quitting?

According to the American Cancer Society, only 4 to 7 percent of smokers successfully quit cold turkey.

Success rates for other methods vary. The American

Lung Association reports that using nicotine replacement therapies (NRT), such as the patch, gum, lozenges, etc., have somewhere between 25-30 percent success rates after eight weeks. Prescription drugs, such as Chantix, do slightly better, at 35 percent. Studies differ on the quitting statistics for people using hypnotherapy, but at least one major 2007 study by the North Shore Medical Group in Salem, Mass. and Massachusetts General Hospital showed a 50 percent quit rate in its hypnotherapy group after 26 weeks.

According to local psychotherapist, Pulse columnist and founder of the Well Nest Rick Pimental-Habib,

“The complicated brain chemistry dance created by smoking, which involves release of the ‘ultimate feel-good chemical’ in the brain, dopamine, means that the addiction is very hard to give up.”

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Ph.D., “In my experience, clinical hypnotherapy can be extremely helpful with behavioral and addictive issues, such as smoking cessation. The tool of hypnotherapy is very versatile, and can be an important part of mind/body work—everything from pain and anxiety management to assisting with post-surgical recovery. It is also successful with phobias, early life trauma, and as an adjunct to ongoing psychotherapy.”

But the nonprofits and the experts agree that the best strategy of all is probably a combination of methods, having a plan—and getting support. Locally, Memorial Hospital offers an online “Smoking Cessation” plan on its web site, www.memorial.org, which includes advice on fighting smoking “triggers” with the “4 Ds: delay, deep breathe, drink water and do something to take your mind off smoking.” The American Lung Association offers both a “Freedom from Smoking” and “The Quitter in You” programs on its web site, www. lungusa.org. You need to ask people not to smoke around you when you’re trying to quit, and consider what you’ll do when someone lights up next to you. All

Cover Story programs suggest removing all ashtrays, lighters, and any smoking materials from home, car and workplace.

Smoking hotlines have been shown to help as well, such as the national (800) Quit-Now. Finally comes an unconventional suggestion from Dr. Dean: “Smoking natural tobacco eliminates the chemicals, making it easier to quit tobacco. Natural Spirit is one natural tobacco brand. You may have to roll your own for a while as well—it’s a sure way to cut down when you have to stop and make them. You know you’re over tobacco when it’s just too much bother to roll a cigarette.”

Wellness: Balancing Act Just a few years ago, “wellness” was not a concept embraced by Western medicine—but times have changed. What are the best ways to balance traditional Western medicine with complementary practices such as acupuncture, massage and supplements designed to promote wellness?

“I tell my telephone consulting clients to use Western medicine diagnostic tools and then go to their naturopath for natural treatment,” says Dr. Dean. “Naturopaths can better advise you on diet, supplements, herbal remedies, homeopathy, detoxification, etc. Go to your medical doctor when you need a medication.”

Most Americans rely on having a good doctor, and that is still, of course, vital. “Wellness” is now accepted to mean maintaining health, rather than waiting to treat symptoms when you get sick. Most major health programs now include wellness as a goal, and doctors often provide referrals to wellness practitioners.

Lisa Flores, a massage therapist at the Medspa in Chattanooga’s Center for Integrated Medicine, says, “Doctors are more aware that massage therapy is

valuable and helpful.” While noting that trained therapists do not attempt to diagnose, she cites a case in which a doctor had ruled out that the chest pains a patient was experiencing were heart-related. “He had pulled chest muscles, and the doctor referred him for massage,” which was beneficial, she says. Doctors have also referred arthritic patients, those with back pain, and with plantar fasciitis. “All massage can and should be therapeutic,” Flores says, “whether it aids in stress reduction, improving circulation, or relaxation.”

Though the continuing cycle of “wonder supplement of the moment” provokes justified skepticism, a multitude of reliable studies have shown that many Americans do not practice proper nutrition. Western doctors continue to advise patients to eat healthier, and nutritionists can often help people identify how to do this. The most important point they emphasize is that fad diets do not work. For long-term health, people must be knowledgeable about nutrition—and willing to slowly incorporate changes. The changes can lead to profound improvements.

For example, a study

by Dr. Chaoyang Li of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, cited by the news service Reuters, found that “eating lots of orange and dark green veggies such as carrots, sweet potatoes and green beans may be tied to less disease and longer life.” Consumption of fruits and vegetables has long been associated with lower risks of health problems such as cancer and heart disease, Dr. Li said. The study, which investigated the antioxidant alpha-carotene (present along with betacarotene in high concentrations in orange and dark green vegetables), analyzed information on more than 15,000 people who were participating in the Third National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey

“All massage can and should be therapeutic, whether it aids in stress reduction, improving circulation, or relaxation.”

Broadcasting Fitness Donna L. does not want to hear excuses.

And as a woman who has lost 87 pounds, she has a right to tell the students in her D.I.V.A.s fitness program that they need to make a lifetime commitment— and stop saying, “I can’t.”

The Power 94 radio personality has been teaching the D.I.V.A. (Determined Individuals Valuing Activity) for a year at D1 Sports Training at Hamilton Place, and in that time has trained 500 women, she says.

“I had health issues in my own family that motivated me to get fit. My classes are not just workouts—we are a sisterhood, helping each other succeed,” she explains. Her own experience makes her a role model. “I try to be the trainer I wish I’d had when I was making my lifestyle changes.”

Her Monday/Wednesday evening classes are not the usual routines. “We push tires around—we do all kinds of things that people might not think they can do. But they can,” she says proudly. And because her goal is to reach people who might not otherwise be able to afford a professional fitness program, she charges $100 for eight weeks.

For more information, contact D1 Fitness at (423) 499-9818.

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Cover Story “Every day is a success, and your body is built for success. We find things that are effective for that person, so that they enjoy the workout and learn to safely work outside their comfort zone.”

Follow-up Study. All of them provided blood samples at the start of the study, along with other medical and lifestyle information.

Antioxidants are believed to counteract oxygen-related damage to DNA, and this study, like many others, confirmed the effects of good nutrition.

Talking to your own doctor about how you can improve your diet might be one of best investments you make in the new year.

Fitness: Finding Your Bliss—or Blisses Fitness experts know you have to like your routine or it won’t work for you.

Cross training isn’t new—but there are new combinations to think about. What’s out there and what works?

Justin Tate, owner of Fitness Together on Gunbarrel Road, says he talks with new clients about three things: consistency, motivation and supportive nutrition. “People come to us because they find they can’t do it alone,” he says.

Along with resistance training, Tate and the personal trainers who work for him recommend cardio workouts, and one of his trainers is also a Pilates instructor, who includes flexibility training in her programs.

Tate is intrigued by the increasing combinations of fitness possibilities. He tried a power yoga workout and, despite his own high level of fitness, found it a challenge. “These combinations are good for the body because it hasn’t adjusted to them,” he says, referring to the dreaded “plateau”, in which the chosen workout no longer produces improvement.

He also talks intensively with new clients about long-term commitment to fitness. “If you’re 45 and you haven’t exercised since high school, give yourself

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a couple of years to achieve wellness,” he says. “But I also tell them, ‘Every day is a success, and your body is built for success.’ We find things that are effective for that person, so that they enjoy the workout and learn to safely work outside their comfort zone.”

At Pure Barre, workouts are a combination of floor-work Pilates, ballet barre stretches and “yoga-esque” positions, owner Amanda Holmes explains. But she’s found that along with students who love the classes and find them alone the ideal fitness solution are other students who are “hardcore runners, people who run marathons, and want to keep up their flexibility.”

Holmes describes finding your fitness bliss as “finding something, or somethings, that takes your mind somewhere else, where you aren’t thinking about the grocery list. It’s not just a body release, it’s a mind release.”

Sometimes the process of finding the right combination takes trial and error.

“Think back,” she urges. “Has there ever been a time when you found a kind of exercise you really enjoyed?”

And your choices continue to expand.

Last month, the International Health, Racquet & Sportsclub Association (www. ihrsa.org), released a list of health club trends for 2011. Among these, reported the IHRSA, “Group exercise, both traditional aerobics and unconventional new classes, are as popular as ever among health club members.

“Group exercise classes with the largest growth rates are cardio-kickboxing, yoga, high-impact aerobics, dance-style classes and strength-training classes.

“From 2008 to 2009, participation in cardio kickboxing was up 20.1 percent, high-impact aerobics was up 8.1 percent,

Cover Story

low-impact aerobics was up 6.3 percent and step aerobics was up 4.5 percent.”

The report goes on to suggest why: “Socially based exercise is up. More clubs are offering group exercise (of all kinds).

Based on survey responses from 3,306 IHRSA member clubs, group cycling is still growing, group strength classes have increased, and boot camp-style programs are appearing everywhere, from in-club sessions to trainers leading Sunday morning sessions in the local park. Also, Latin dance and nightclubinspired workouts are appearing everywhere, not only in clubs but in church basements, school gymnasiums and corporate offices. Fusion classes that combine exercising, yoga, Pilates and dance are also a growing trend.”

Beauty: Low Maintenance / High Impact Few women (or men) have an hour every morning and evening for beauty routines. What are the fastest and most efficient ways to take care of your skin and do your makeup?

Though the choices in skincare are not only bewildering, but range in price from modest to astronomical, experts agree on two things: Beauty begins with great skin and great skin requires a lifetime commitment.

Wendy Lewis is founder/editor in chief of www.beautyinthebag.com and the author of 11 books on beauty. She

offered the following advice on skincare: “Choosing the right skincare for your skin type and major concerns is key to efficiency as well as saving money. A basis skincare regimen should include a daytime moisturizer with SPF15 or preferably SPF30, night-time treatment or moisturizer depending on your needs, separate eye gel or cream for day and night time use, and an exfoliating treatment to be used daily, every other day or once per week based on your skin and the product (microbead exfoliants can be used daily on most skin types, whereas more aggressive glycolic peeling agents may be used once a week for best results)…Add a specialty product based on your top concerns—sun damage or aging skin, acne or oily skin, or hyperpigmentation or discoloration…

Stick with a regime for at least six weeks to see results, and be consistent by using it every day to reap the benefits.”

Mary Kathryn Yeiser, owner of The Cosmetic Market in Warehouse Row, says, “Beauty starts from the skin and goes out. Don’t skimp on skincare.”

Her major recommendation is to “use active products, glycolic or retinolbased. These speed up the turnover of dead skin cells.” She adds, “Sunblock is

number-one to prevent aging, and if you are outside all day, you are going to need to reapply it, no matter what the SPF is.”

It’s important to note that more and more men are recognizing the importance of skincare, and the lines that now offer products for men have skyrocketed in the last decade.

If your skin’s in shape, how can you pare your makeup routine to basics— and still feel you look good?

Lewis says, “No one has enough time to do her makeup to perfection every day while taking kids to school, getting dressed and ready, and running to work, but everyone has time for some quick makeup fixes that are a must. Start with concealer to cover blemishes, scars, imperfections, dark circles. Use a brow pencil to fill in light spots and shape brows to frame the eyes. Add a few strokes of neutral-toned eye color on your lids, use a soft smudgy pencil in outer corners and dot along lower lashes.

Finish with a few coats of great mascara.

Mineral makeup saves time too, since it includes sun protection. Brush on some mineral-based foundation all over your face, neck, chest for subtle touch of color. Apply a moisturizing lip color in a wand or brush to lips, and you’re good to go.”

Yeiser concurs that mineralbased foundation or a tinted moisturizer are the basics to begin with, along with concealer, “especially under-eye.” She adds “a little blush, eyeliner and mascara”, then finishes with a lip gloss or stain. “There are excellent combination products now that can be used as blush, lipstick and eye color,” she notes, “and those are great time-savers.

“Don’t be afraid to ask for help and be open to new things,” she suggests.

Sounds like good advice overall for the New Year.

““Experts agree on two things: Beauty begins with great skin and great skin requires a lifetime commitment.”

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 7 | January 6, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

On The Beat

By Alex Teach

New Year—Old Bruise W

“I got as far as, ‘Now, Kristi,’ when she turned around and placed a fist between my ear and jaw with such speed I briefly saw fireworks and what I am certain to this day was a fleeting image of a cherished family cat that died when I was 7.”

hen I think of New Year’s Eve, I don’t think so much of failed resolutions, desperate pregnancy tests, hangovers, and whether or not the vomit stains will come out of my clothes (leather in particular, cursed bile), as most of you do. That’s because you are largely nasty, vile creatures of excess that do not love the Baby Jesus like I do.

No. Like the more decent folk among you, I think of getting knocked out.

I’m not talking about the “Wile E. Coyote”, Mel-Brooks-saloon-fight-scene-from-Blazing Saddles kind, mind you. I’m talking the Whitney Houston/Rihanna kind of violence.

We see folk getting knocked out all the time and therefore take it somewhat for granted; this saddens me.

On television and in movies, we see 100-lb. women walk up and smack somebody over the head from behind with a floppy leather boot with a flick of the wrist, and they fall over like a sack of wet tissues. Guys take a gun-butt to the temple, pass out with gritted teeth, and wake up with a tiny cut and solve global conspiracies.

Some watch kids run into an extremely clean sliding-glass window, thinking the door is actually open. They rebound back onto the floor and don’t move for a few seconds, then get up with a confused look they never really lose and grow up to be avid bicyclists.

Let me tell you, folks—that is all complete and utter horseshit. (OK, except for the part about the kids; that’s true and horribly, horribly funny, but only if you actually see it happen.

If you read this and then laughed, you are an

evil shitbag and should be in prison…but free pass to those who saw it in action. We’re only human.)

In all honesty, it’s pretty damn difficult to actually get knocked out. It’s your brain’s little way of saying, “Uh-oh, time out”, and the result of it getting bounced around its cage so much it flips a reset switch inside us. A beer bottle to the head works like a charm in the 1989 classic Roadhouse (especially when it shatters for a particularly spectacular effect) but in reality, guys that get hit like that usually go “Oh…oh, God,” and if they pass out, it’s only because they have pulled their hand away from their heads to see it filled with blood where the broken glass cut their scalp. The pump about ten inches below the scalp called “the heart” forces the blood out with great vigor (especially when thinned by that wretched old alcohol). The break-ee usually has cut his hands too, and if he’s not too drunk to realize it, the fight usually ends there in wild confusion, and if they have any sense, a call for a taxi and hasty retreat.

Me? I was knocked out for the first time at Northgate Mall. By a girl. (How… embarrassing.)

I’d try to spruce it up a little and tell you that it was at a bar on New Year’s Eve and in the middle of a fight on the dance floor, but at the end of the day “C’mon and Ride It (The Train)” was playing by the Quad City DJs and I can’t make any of that “cool”.

I was working the joint after my evening shift in Brainerd was over, and working such a foolish night only because my rate was doubled for the holiday. Fights the bouncers couldn’t handle were solved by my usual tricks of “shining bright lights” and “polite spritzing with pepper spray”, but when these finally failed, it caused me to wade into the crowd a bit

to get the final fight broken up.

The fight in question was winding down as I arrived, but when I placed my hand on the nearest girl’s shoulder, I got as far as, “Now, Kristi,” when she turned around and placed a fist between my ear and jaw with such speed I briefly saw fireworks and what I am certain to this day was a fleeting image of a cherished family cat that died when I was 7. I came to quickly enough, but the damage was done: To my ego, the party, even the musical career of the Quad City DJs, and her hand.

I’ve been hit by cars, electrocuted, choked, cut, and even took a spill off a third-floor deck and remained intact through all; I break, but not easily…though apparently my Kryptonite is the kind of chicks that are kind of hot, but usually played softball in high school and have hobbies that include arm wrestling and making out with other chicks. Pretty standard “bar folk”, now that I think about it, but I was newer to the job and if you live through a mistake, you learn.

Despite all this, it is still much harder to get knocked out than cinema lets on. I don’t recommend it as a hobby, but I’ll tell you what…like the Washington Monument, you don’t really respect it until you’ve seen it first hand, but if you loved your cats (or your sliding glass doors) enough, it’s worth the lesson.

After all, look how I turned out.

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

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Music Feature

Five Local Bands to Watch in 2011 matter of time before she found a band and began her shining of soulful progression into our streets. I am always for another female in the scene, and what I hear on the band's MySpace page gives me hopes for what will be an eye-opening and mouthdropping live show on January 21 at JJ’s Bohemia.

• Gerle Haggard: We love our bluegrass.

It’s Tennessee and it just seems right.

There are many wonderful bluegrass bands around town—but none with such dynamics and drive as Gerle Haggard.

These ladies and gentlemen have graced many stages in Chattanooga, including opening at Nightfall last season. They also played the Health and Happiness Hour on 88.1 this past November and have probably been seen by everyone but me. They will be playing Good Dog on Frazier Avenue from 6 – 9 p.m. on January 7.

By Tara V

Pulse Music Writer

L

to talk on the radio with their grills still in. An awesome group of kids with a common love for money, booze, beats and rhymes.

Opportunities will drop their first album release on Thursday, January 27 at JJ’s Bohemia.

• Opposite Box: I haven’t heard a bad thing about these guys. They are fun and energetic, one would even say theatrical as much as musical. Staying involved with the audience, this band is the perfect party band. Pop-funk-alternative vibes allow the trombone and bass to work together in order to keep everyone in the room shakin’.

They will be joining in the CD release fun at JJ’s Bohemia on January 27. You can also check out their track with Nappy Roots on their Facebook page.

• Wet Cadillac: If you know me, you know I love the new genres that bands come up with. This is my favorite so far of 2011: “Garage Rock Doo Wop”. Their band profile says it all, “Bar-room anthems, surf riffs, jazz harmonies, house beats, and hardcore breakdowns. Where can you get all of these things wrapped up into a half hour with six goodlookin’ boys?”. Whenever they get an album out, I am certain it will become

ast week, to bring in the New Year, The Pulse featured a few top ten lists from our favorite writers. I turned one in, too…It was horrible and after turning the pages I sighed with relief that my editors knew it as well. I am no good at these “top tens” and I have a very hard time choosing number one over number five. My need to be supportive in most every way hobbles my thought process in fear of hurting people’s feelings and having groupies start lil’ brown bags aflame on my porch. I know you may say, “Get over it, T,” but I refuse to be choosy until “I talked with a few trusty I can sell out and make my musical minds around town millions. So it may be a while, my friends. to get suggestions because This week, instead, I wanted to give a short list, in no particular order, of local bands to watch out for in 2011. These groups are new and old, and come from many different genres. I talked with a few trusty musical minds around town to get suggestions because this is a list of bands that I will also be seeing for the first time with you this year!

• Ashley and The X’s: Ashley Hicks has been a constant presence in Chattanooga’s open mic and music world. It was only a

this is a list of bands that I will also be seeing for the first time with you this year.”

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• Opportunities: White guys and hiphop. Nothing makes me happier. Op Muhnee and Capn Hook bring their taste for rap and hip-hop to Chatt along with many guests, including DJ Silly Ill, Sparkz, Coreo, Tricky Fingaz and more. I’ll never forget the first time I met the guys trying

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 7 | January 6, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

a front-porch favorite! They are also appearing at JJ's Bohemia on January 21st.

This month we will be covering more bands to check out in 2011, as Janis Hashe brings you Moon Slew next week, and I will return with Machines are People Too and Jettison Never the last two weeks of January.

This is going to be a great year in The Valley for music, and if everyone keeps their heads up and toes tappin’, we can make this town known for it. Remember: You can always suggest bands you want to know more about, and turn in all your events to The Pulse! See you at the shows, and 2011, we got this.

New Music Reviews ESG Dance to the Best of ESG (Fire)

“The group has an unmistakable knack for creating uncomplicated, yet deeply felt rhythms, delivered with an irrepressible exuberance."

By Ernie Paik

No history of post-punk dance music is complete without a discussion of the outfit ESG, formed by four sisters (Renee, Valerie, Marie, and Deborah Scroggins) in a South Bronx housing project in the ’70s. They were self-taught musicians—their mother bought them instruments as a way of keeping them out of trouble—and developed a distinctive, nearly irresistible kind of minimalist funk.

ESG’s two best known tracks, “Moody” and “UFO,” are on its first single from 1981, recorded

by Martin Hannett for Factory Records, the label immortalized in the film 24 Hour Party People, and “Moody” is built on little more than a rhythm section—a simple bass line with a drum kit rhythm and conga beats—with Renee singing with a soulful enthusiasm.

ESG also has a legacy in the hip-hop world; one of the most ubiquitous nondrum, non-vocal hip-hop samples is the eerie tone pattern heard near the beginning of “UFO,” used by everyone from Public Enemy to the Beastie Boys.

The new two-disc set Dance to the Best of ESG is now the best introduction to the band and possibly all the ESG material that most listeners might need.

It contains all 28 tracks included on the two previous volumes of A South Bronx

Group Doueh Beatte Harab (Sublime Frequencies) The first two domestic releases from the West African outfit Group Doueh, Guitar Music from the Western Sahara and Treeg Salaam, featured low-fidelity field recordings that magnified the raw energy of the band and the distinctive, flowing electric guitar work from bandleader Doueh. The latest, third offering from Group Doueh on the globe-trotting

Sublime Frequencies label, Beatte Harab, has a much different sound to it, not only because of its better fidelity but also because of its musical approach, which sticks more to Sahrawi and Mauritanian origins. This is evident in the instrumentation on the album, which primarily uses a tinidit (threestringed lute), a tbal (clay drum), and an ardin (14-stringed harp), in addition to the guitar; certain tracks, including “Mawak Lakhaal” also feature Korg synth playing, in a style that mirrors Doueh’s frantic, constantly darting guitar-playing manner and the purposeful, yet frenetic plucks of the tinidit. Of the three releases, Beatte Harab features some of the most passionate singing from the group, thanks to Bashiri Touballi, with a level of intensity that may make many people uncomfortable. However, this

Story, the first of which contains most of the band’s essential material, including the aforementioned Factory Records single; rounding out the collection are the uncharacteristic, dreamy “A New Day” from the self-titled 1991 album, “Talk It” from 2002’s Step Off, and two tracks from 2006’s Keep on Moving, which unfortunately use a drum machine.

ESG isn’t about superb musicianship— things aren’t always strictly precise, and any semi-competent musician can easily play these songs; anyone who’s hung up on those details is missing the point. The group has an unmistakable knack for creating uncomplicated, yet deeply felt rhythms, delivered with an irrepressible exuberance. writer finds the singing style enthralling, particularly on “Badbada” and the title track; it’s rare to hear a singer throw himself into the music with such abandon and fervor.

A little more variation with the percussion and rhythms on the album would have been welcome, and there are some strange disconnects, like on the track “Lehi Teyilu,” which overlays the Korg synth atop Doueh’s electric guitar, run through a phaser effect. Other parts of the album are less concentrated and focused and move more into noodling territory, and the results may vary depending on the mood of the listener; like with ambient music, the meandering numbers work better as they slip into the background, carrying the listener away as notes transform subconsciously into textures.

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Music Calendar Thursday Spotlight

SOULEDOUT with DJ K7 Start the new year with some grooves.

No cover.

10 p.m.

The Social, 1110 Market St., Ste. 101

Thursday Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Open Mic 8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt Power Players 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

Brute Force, Late Nite Rage, Burning Itch, Oxxen, Night of the Wolf 9 p.m. Discoteca, 304. E. Main St. (423) 386-3066.

Video DJ Nick 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Casey Adams Band 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com SOULEDOUT! Classic and Modern Soul with DJ K7 10 p.m. The Social, 1110 Market St., Ste. 101.

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 7 | January 6, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Friday Spotlight

Friday Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge,1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Ben Friberg Trio 6 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Children 18:3, Philmont, Faretheewell, Our American Cousin, Jeremy Campbell 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Skip Cisto 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. southsidesaloonandbistro.com Dave Walters Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 756-3400. www.chattanooganhotel.com Zippers to Nowhere, Fast Boys, Twat Sauce, Wet Dreamin, Nefast 9 p.m. Discoteca, 304. E. Main St. (423) 386-3066.

Jason and The Punknecks 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia TJ Greever and Dan Pinson 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996.

Barron Wilson 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt

Duane Clautt 9 p.m. The Acoustic Café, 61 Rbc Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacousticcafe.com Brian Collins Band 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Cadillac Saints with The Jompson Brothers 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

Fried Chicken Trio 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

Saturday Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Jazz Night: Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace.

(423) 493-0270.

Mimi & Erin 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730.

Taylor Pie, Martha Ann Brooks, Roger Alan Wade 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org Dave Walters Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400.

Jason & The Punknecks Self-described as oldfashioned "Hell-raisin' hillbilly punk rock." $5 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia DJ Wade Runk, Dolphin Mouth, Machines are People Too, Moonlight Bride 9 p.m. Discoteca, 304. E. Main St. (423) 386-3066.

AJ Stone 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt Bounty Hunter 9 p.m. The Acoustic Café, 61 Rbc Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065.

Brian Collins Band 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Stoneline, Corpse Wax Dollies, Coathanger Abortion, Shades of 7, Horns of the Headless 9 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 756-4786. myspace.com/ziggyshideaway Moon Slew 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Wrong Way: A Tribute To Sublime with Tax Brandywine 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

Music Calendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Editor's Special Spotlight

Sunday Spotlight

The Last Days of Disco(teca) Almost a year to the day of its anniversary, beloved Main Street dive bar and inevitable sinking ship, Discoteca, is closing shop. To mark the occasion, Disco is having one last weekend of super fun before the wrecking ball shows up. Something shiny and new will, no doubt, take over the block. But that little whitewashed cinder-block hole in the side of the neighborhood will be missed. Discoteca made a big impact on the local music scene and brought a unique vibe all it’s own. Dare we say it was visionary? Sure.

Thanks for the memories, Discoteca. You will live on in our beer-swilled, smoke-filled, rock-n-roll dreams.

Thursday, January 6: Brute Force, Late Nite Rage, Burning Itch, Oxxen, Night of the Wolf 9 p.m. $5

Super Blow-Out Saturday: DJ Wade Runk, Dolphin Mouth, Machines are People Too, Moonlight Bride 9 p.m. $7

Friday, January 7: Zippers to Nowhere, Fast Boys, Twat Sauce, Wet Dreamin, Nefast

Sunday, January 9:

9 p.m. $5

9 p.m. $5

Trigger Mortis, Weird Snakes, plus lots more

All shows at Discoteca, 304 E. Main St. (423) 386-3066.

Power Players Show Band 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (433) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Roger Alan Wade 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

Sunday Trigger Mortis, Weird Snakes, plus lots more 9 p.m. Discoteca, 304. E. Main St. (423) 386-3066.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Hymn For Her, The Next Best Thing 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Monday Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (433) 634-0260.

Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Live DJ – Karaoke 8 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Open Mic 9 p.m. The Acoustic Café, 61 Rbc Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacousticcafe.com Karaoke with DJ Stoli 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 4999878. www.budssportsbar.com

Tuesday Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Songwriters Showcase 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Tim & Reece 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Jerry Fordham, the one-man band 9 p.m. The Acoustic Café, 61 Rbc Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065.

Karaoke with DJ Stoli 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Hymn For Her, The Next Best Thing “High end kick-ass boogie.” $5 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Dandasha, Caspian Hat Dance, The Next Best Thing 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Wednesday Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (433) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com DJ Spins – Karaoke Contest 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Joe The Show 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Roughwork with Muddy Mule 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Open Mic with Mark Holder 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

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Arts & Entertainment

Rocking the Poster (Art)

By Michael Crumb Pulse Arts Writer

B

ulletin boards around town have been enlivened by colorful, cartoonish posters featuring hep cats and hippie girls, racing cars and rocket ships, along with suggestions of iconic cartoon figures that persist within our cultural sensorium. These posters are created by Mark Ritch, who now resides in Chattanooga after moving from Northern California.

Mark Ritch has been a part of the California comics scene for some time, and he has produced his own comics, including the titles Skabs and Barbarian Women. He has also produced zines and artwork for bands. His recent local work can be found at King's Smokehouse on Main Street and the soon-to-open Siren's Café.

The official history of comics begins with appliance-store giveaways, and indeed, some corporations still produce giveaway comic books. The popular E.C. Comics line incurred the wrath of government entities. It shut down, and one of its titles became Mad magazine, a publication that did not need to conform to the newly created “comics code.” Large houses such as DC Comics and Marvel Comics displayed the code’s approval stamp on their covers.

Around the ’90s, some artists, many of

whom had left Marvel, formed Wildstorm Studio and Top Low Studio. Their popular comics did not conform to the code. Spawn became a film, and W.I.L.D. C.A.T.S. became an animated TV show. Witchblade also became a film. Essentially, the medium and the market had outgrown the comics code.

For the past couple of decades, popular comics have become a hugely successful film genre.

However, on both the West and the East Coasts, there has been a parallel history of “underground” comics. The most famous of these was the “Zip” comics line originated

by Robert Crumb, and later, adding other artists like S. Clay Wilson. Wilson and his “Checker Demon” were featured on an early MTV spot while he was still the cartoonist for The Daily Orange, Syracuse University’s daily newspaper. Another famous title was Gilbert Shelton’s Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.

“Poster art has a paradoxical, ephemeral quality in that it is art produced for a temporary purpose.”

These artists were an important influence for Mark Ritch. Underground comics had developed the medium with new concepts, styles and content, and these intensities helped American culture become more receptive to the international comics community that became showcased in Heavy Metal magazine. The “graphic

novel” became an established medium.

Japanese manga and anime also entered American culture. Now the comic medium functions more as an international dialogue, and American artists have contributed much to this dialogue.

Consequently, the intensity and ironic humor of Mark Ritch’s cultural iconography contains this rich comics’ subtext. The delight inspired by cartoons emerges from his posters and engages attention.

Additionally, Ritch’s work continues to develop the symbiosis of music and art. Poster art promoting bands and concerts has long been an important aspect of our popular culture. Album art continues through CDs and sometimes features art by acclaimed artists. Ritch enjoys employing his art to promote the work of other artists.

When he is preparing a show poster for JJ’s Bohemia, he will often have the bands’ music at hand, so that the resulting poster will carry a suggestion of the music to be featured at the show.

Poster art has a paradoxical, ephemeral quality in that it is art produced for a temporary purpose.

The art promotes a show, basically a given night. When the show is done, the poster takes on a sense of history, of documentation. These posters get collected.

Here in Chattanooga, there are published collections of rock poster art that document the music scene of past years. This art has a participatory quality. Some posters may be

produced by members of the bands that are playing. Other posters may contain topical references, like the recent DDS “Election” poster.

Ritch has noted that his posters do not always remain posted until showtime, and sometimes, they have an even briefer public life. Perhaps this results from overzealous collectors, and, perhaps, sometimes from outright vandalism. Art produced to be seen by the public enhances the artistic quality of life in Chattanooga. Let it be shared.

Ritch also remarks that he can often turn commissions around within 24 hours. Enjoy!

Mark Ritch can be contacted at (706) 8663252.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | January 6, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 1 | The Pulse

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A&E Calendar Highlights Friday

Thursday

Sugar

Screening of a film about a fictional Dominican baseball player. $9.95 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com One Man Theatre Festival: Moliere Than Thou 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1322 Dodds Ave. (423) 505-1877. www.timmooneyrep.com.

Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. T-Bones Sports Cafe, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240.

Josh Goldman 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop.

(423) 344-5643.

“Eternal” Exum Gallery, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 593-4265.

Reception for Janet Eskridge/ Courtenay James

Mixed media and paintings open at the River Gallery.

6:30 – 8 p.m.

River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, ext. 5. www.river-gallery.com

Saturday - Happy New Year from The Pulse!

Jazz Night at the Jewish Cultural Center

Get cool with the Ben Friberg Trio. $15 (includes beverages and hors d’oeuvres) 7 p.m.

Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0279, ext. 13. www.jewishchattanooga.com

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Sesame Street Live 10:30 a.m. 2 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

One Man Theatre Festival: Lot O’Shakespeare 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1322 Dodds Ave. (423) 505-1877. www.timmooneyrep.com.

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 7:30 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. chattanoogaghosttours.com Josh Goldman 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

Mystery at the RedneckItalian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 7 | January 6, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

“pARTnership” Opening Reception 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com “Treasured Impact” Opening Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com.

Sesame Street Live 7 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov One Man Theatre Festival: Criteria 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1322 Dodds Ave. (423) 505-1877. www.timmooneyrep.com.

Josh Goldman 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 7:30 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. chattanoogaghosttours.com Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Live Team Trivia 9 p.m. Amigo’s Mexican Restaurant, 5450 Hwy 153.

(423) 875-8049. www.chattanoogatrivia.com One Man Theatre Festival: Dancing Nude 10 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1322 Dodds Ave. (423) 505-1877. www.timmooneyrep.com.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com “Heirloom” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com

Sunday Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com “It’s Not Easy Being Green” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102.

(423) 870-8924.

“Treasured Impact” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. w ww.river-gallery.com “Beyond Baseball: The Life of Roberto Clemente” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd.

(423) 266-8658.

“Helping Hands & Winter Wonders” Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org “a Pale; place into parts” by Glenn Herbert Davis Sewanee University Art Gallery, 68 Georgia Ave., Sewanee.

Blue Valentine

Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling are winning raves for their roles as a husband and wife in crisis.

The Rave, 5080 South Terrace, East Ridge.

(423) 855-9652. www.ravemotionpictures.com

Sesame Street Live 2 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov Community Arts Funding Event 6 p.m. Planet Altered, 48 E. Main St. (423) 400-4100. www.planetaltered.com Josh Goldman 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Hunter Invitational 2010 Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944.

“Spirituality of Light” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. “pARTnership” Creative Collaboration” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214. www.intowngallery.com

A&E Calendar Highlights Monday Live Team Trivia 6 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5840 Lake Resort Ter. (423) 870-0770.

Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 344-5643.

“Heirloom” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com “It’s Not Easy Being Green” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr., Ste. 102.

(423) 870-8924.

“Treasured Impact” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com “Beyond Baseball: The Life of Roberto Clemente” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd.

(423) 266-8658.

Tuesday Disney’s Beauty and the Beast 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. RAW Sushi Bar, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.chattanoogatrivia.com “Helping Hands & Winter Wonders” Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org “a Pale; place into parts” by Glenn Herbert Davis Sewanee University Art Gallery, 68 Georgia Ave., Sewanee. www.sewanee.edu Hunter Invitational 2010 Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org

Wednesday Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. Buffalo Wild Wings, 120 Market St. (423) 634-0468. www.chattanoogatrivia.com Speak Easy: Spoken Word and Poetry 8 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (Inside Day's Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt “Spirituality of Light” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchattanooga.com “pARTnership” Creative Collaboration” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com Member’s Choice Photographic Art Exhibit The Gallery at Blackwell, 71 Eastgate Loop. (423) 344-5643.

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

One Man Theatre Festival

Actor Tim Mooney returns to town with a rotating group of plays, including Moliere Than Thou, Criteria (science fiction), Dancing Nude (adults only), and Lot o’ Shakespeare. $10 7:30 p.m. Thursday, January 6 7:30, 10 p.m. Friday, January 7 8 p.m. Saturday, January 8 Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.timmooneyrep.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | January 6, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 1 | The Pulse

23

Life in the Noog

By Chuck Crowder

Where The Sun Don’t Shine T

“All of the fear and misconceptions of what a colonoscopy entails (no pun) was behind me (no pun again).”

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his being the Health & Wellness issue, I would be remiss if I didn’t highlight a regular preventive health screening we males should grin and bear every few years—the dreaded colonoscopy. Most men aren’t asked to bend over until around age 45 or 50, but I’ve had the distinct honor of unceremoniously mooning my gastroenterologist on a couple of different occasions. I must say—it’s an experience.

Now, I understand that the simple thought of a five-foot-long scope traveling up your intestines from the rear isn’t the most fathomable “procedure” anyone would willingly subject themselves to—that’s why they knock you out for it. I myself clinched up so tight when hearing the details of what my ass was about to endure that I think it took a whole carton of Ex-Lax to get the old plumbing working again afterwards.

“It’s a simple procedure really,” my doctor advised. “You lie on your side—sedated of course—and we gently guide this (holds up a five-foot snake-like tube) state-of-the-art Posterior Optical Scoptical Tube—or POST as we like to call it—into your anus and through the intestinal cavity until we can see what you had for lunch.”

For the next several hours I couldn’t sit down without carefully checking the seat first.

Nothing had ever gone in through my out door before. And, barring maybe an unfortunate prison experience, nothing was ever going to. I felt like a sitting duck.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 7 | January 6, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

As the days until the procedure went by, I’d get phone calls from his nurses. “Be sure to stop taking any blood thinners ten days before the procedure—just in case.” What!?! I thought this was a simple reconnaissance mission—no heavy artillery, or even bayonets. “If the doctor finds a suspicious something-or-other, he might take a biopsy using the very POST we’re about to gently insert into your gluteus maximus.”

Obviously this didn’t sit well with me. In fact, I preferred to stand most of the time. “Aren’t you going to relax here on the sofa and watch the movie? No, I’m fine. Really.” All of this over thinking a procedure that would take place while I was fast asleep and “wouldn’t feel a thing” as he promised, however, didn’t prepare me for the pre-procedure that had to happen for the 24 hours prior.

You see, in order for these fine professionals to accurately violate you in ways that are still illegal in some states, you must first “cleanse” the colon. By cleansing, they don’t mean twoply toilet paper or a good bath; they mean completely clearing your intestinal passages like a hairball in a DrainO commercial.

To achieve this, one is required to drink a gallon of liquid that supposedly (but doesn’t) taste like lemonade the day before the procedure. And, in order to prepare your digestive system for what this brand of lemonade is about to unleash, you can’t eat anything for 36 hours before the procedure.

Waking up the day before the procedure a little hungry since my “last meal” the night before, I welcomed a tall, cool, refreshing glass of lemonade to settle the hunger pains my tummy was tossing. So I started the day by starting the process of polishing off this gallon of colon-cleansing concoction.

After a few sips, I started to feel a gurgle

or two. A few more sips and I felt an overwhelming need to stay close to the homefield advantage of my own loo. By the end of the first glass, I was on the toilet furiously releasing soup cans and pennies.

Every glass of this lemony elixir brought on more and more trips to the WC. “How much could there be?” I thought. Then I remembered how long red meat and swallowed gum remains in your system. Not anymore. It was all gone. In fact, by the end of the ride all that was coming out was the lemony liquid that was going in.

But enough of my potty talk—let’s move on to the procedure.

The morning of, I was slightly sedated going into the operating room. What a sec, doc, you said I’d be completely out for this. “Lie on your left side and move your bottom towards the side of the gurney until you feel the cold metal of the rail,” he instructed. “Now count to ten.”

By seven or eight, I was falling into a deep sleep.

When I awoke at some point later, I was in the recovery room with no idea of what had happened. In fact, the procedure—in my mind—hadn’t happened at all. All of the fear and misconceptions of what a colonoscopy entails (no pun) was behind me (no pun again) and my keister didn’t even feel as if the jelly finger of my normal doc had been there, done that. So if your doc tells you it’s time for a colonoscopy, don’t sweat it. It’s easy—and could save your life in the long run.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that.

Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website at www.thenoog.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | January 6, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 1 | The Pulse

25

Outdoor Adventures

Caving: The Indoor/Outdoor Sport

By Allison Gorman Special to The Pulse

W

hen it’s gray and blustery outside, a day on the couch with nachos and Netflix has its merits. But when winter sets in for good, even the best man cave can start to close in on you.

Time to try a real cave—the perfect place for winter weekend warriors.

In essence, caving is an outdoor activity that’s climate controlled. Raccoon Mountain Caverns, for example, stay 60 degrees with 97 percent humidity year-round, says Chris Perlaky, who leads expeditions through the mountain’s five and a half miles of mapped passageways. “It’s a nice temperature, but when you move you can easily work up a sweat,” he says. “On the other hand, if you take a break and sit on a rock, you’re going to lose your body heat pretty quickly.”

That’s no sweat for Raccoon Mountain Cavern’s most casual visitors, who can opt for a 45-minute, quarter-mile guided stroll through the expansive front portion of the cave. But participants in the caverns’ Wild Cave Expeditions—nicknamed the “get muddy” tours—face challenges physical and psychological, Perlaky says. (Interestingly, a big obstacle for some new cavers is fear of heights, he notes.)

Perlaky’s uncle and mother are owner and manager of the cave, so he has been talking cavers through tight spots since he was a teenager. Recently he surfaced long enough to talk with us about this

indoor/outdoor sport.

What are the difficulty levels involved in caving?

Caving is different from whitewater rafting in that there aren’t really any classes offered, because all caves have such varying environments. The difficulty also depends largely upon people’s own abilities, the most obvious being trouble with claustrophobia— although I’d say 90 percent of the people who say they have claustrophobia make it through our tour. We have several passages where people can either crawl through or go around. On our six-hour loop, though, there is a mandatory 180-foot stomach crawl which we tell people about ahead of time.

There’s just no way around that.

How do you deal with claustrophobia?

There are various techniques we can use, like having them come up to the front. That way, in the tighter crawls, they don’t have to stay there for a long time. People with fears tend to want to stay behind because they’re afraid of slowing the group down, but that’s actually counterintuitive. So one of the rules we follow is that you go as fast as the slowest person, you let them create the pace. That helps out a lot.

instance with the crawls, the issue tends to be that they panic and tense up, which makes the body less flexible, so it’s really just a matter of getting them to relax, and then they slide through, or they can always back out of the hole. The same with heights, too: It’s really just a matter of talking them through it, and typically they do gain some confidence, having gotten through that challenge.

What sort of equipment do cavers need?

For ours, you want tennis shoes or some boots, long pants and a longsleeved shirt—something you don’t mind getting dirty—and then we provide helmets, lights, gloves and knee pads.

How does the Chattanooga area rank as a caving destination?

The area around here is known as TAG, for Tennessee, Alabama and Georgia, and it’s well known throughout the world for the amount of caves we have in this area. Tennessee has over 12,000 known cave systems; Raccoon Mountain is just one of them.

What advice would you have for people who want to explore caves on their own?

They should start by doing research and finding a local cave grotto, or group of cavers, in the area. They should follow the cavers’ motto, which is, “Take nothing but pictures, kill nothing but time, and leave nothing but footprints”— that’s basic conservation. And then the biggest thing is safety, with its rule of three:

“Tennessee has over 12,000 known cave systems; Raccoon Mountain is just one of them.”

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I’ve even had children and adults cry, and they won’t go further. It’s just a matter of patience and talking them through. For

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 7 | January 6, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Carry three sources of light, and go caving with three others, so in case someone gets injured, one can stay with the person and the other two can go out for help. You should also tell people on the outside where you’re going and how long you’ll be in there. A lot of (safety) incidents occur because people don’t follow those rules.

What’s the difference between “caving” and “spelunking”?

Nothing, really. Experienced cavers just refer to it as “caving.” I think “spelunking” sounded more technical and caught on with the public for some reason. The NSS (National Speleological Society) has a bumper sticker: “Cavers rescue spelunkers.”

Riley's Spirits Within

Choose Both Red and White from Mouton Cadet

By Joshua Hurley Red or white? Sometimes that’s the question. If the quality is high and the price low, why not both? This week’s “Great Buy” has that problem solved. Great Buys are included in this column, where Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson picks a favorite from a large selection of wine and spirits from around the world and shares it with the readership of The Pulse. This week lands us in Bordeaux, France’s famed wine region, with its leading label, Mouton Cadet.

Bordeaux (Bohr-Doh) is an area in the southwest portion of France known as the world’s greatest wine-producing region. Bordeaux earns that distinction; not only is the climate perfect for grape cultivation, but the region leads the world in both quantity and quality of wines produced. The region that is Bordeaux covers a large area around the seaport city of the same name, which lies on the Garonne River upstream from the Gironde estuary, which empties into the Atlantic Ocean. The region produces both red and white wines, but the former dominates, accounting for up to 88 percent of total production.

Mouton Cadet is considered Bordeaux’s most successful brand. It was created in 1930 by Baron Philippe de Rothschild. The brand’s name comes from both the vineyard of origin—Chateau Mouton Rothschild—and from Rothschild’s son, referred to in French by the word cadet. Today, Mouton Cadet Red is a blended red wine from an assembly of grapes grown in several Bordeaux appellations. The entire region is broken up into districts, similar to counties and appellations similar to say communes.

Cadet Red did well enough in France—until occupation by the Nazis, during which the entire production was shut down. After the war, Cadet was marketed extensively around Europe and enjoyed a popularity surge that reached the U.S. in the mid 1960s. In 1975, Mouton Cadet added a second-label white blend to great

sales and acclaim, selling three million cases the first year in the U.S. alone.

Mouton Cadet Rouge Bordeaux 2007 blend contains 65 percent merlot, 20 percent cabernet sauvignon and 15 percent cabernet franc.

After pressing, the juice is brought down to a low temperature before fermentation. This process refines the grape flavor. After alcoholic fermentation, the process is repeated, then the wine is aged for 12 to 18 months before bottling. Deep red in color, this selection contains aromas of intense berry fruit that give over to a palate alive with berries, vanilla and herbs. The finish or aftertaste is a soft, toasted spice.

Mouton Cadet 2007 Bordeaux is a white blended wine, containing 50 percent semillon, 40 percent sauvignon blanc and 10 percent muscadelle. Semillon is a white grape that grows well in Bordeaux. It doesn’t make particularly good wine by itself, but if mixed with sauvignon blanc, the results can be quite extraordinary, adding a complexity unique to all white wines. Muscadelle is also vital to Bordeaux white blends, adding a slightly sweet, perfumey character to the mix.

Mouton White benefits from a procedure called “cold maceration”, in which after the pressing of the grapes. the juice and grape skins are held together at a low temperature for an extended period of time. The procedure helps to keep the grape’s natural aromas intact. After which only 20 percent of the juice bounty undergoes alcoholic fermentation.

This wine is matured in steel vats for three-to-six months and stirred regularly for the first three of those months. Cadet White is golden yellow, and displays aromas of citrus, apples, pears and green grass. The palate contains a broad spectrum of fruit, like a melody, coming one after another. The finish is easy, slightly sweet.

Both red and white are available for $7.97 each. You can do both. This low price is only available at Riley’s Wine and Spirits.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | January 6, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 1 | The Pulse

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Free Will Astrology CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “We have to stumble though so much dirt and humbug before we reach home,” wrote novelist Herman Hesse. “And we have no one to guide us. Our only guide is homesickness.” That’s the bad news, Capricorn. The good news, according to my analysis, is that 2011 could very well be the year that your homesickness drives you all the way home. For best results, keep this tip in mind: To get the full benefit of the homesickness, you shouldn’t suppress it. Only by feeling it deeply, as a burning, grinding ache, will you be able to ride it all the way home.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the past, few dog shows allowed mutts to compete. Pure breeds were prized above all others. That’s changing, though, now that the American Kennel Club has opened up a new category just for mongrels. They won’t be judged by guidelines specific to a particular breed, but rather according to their natural talents. This shift in standards mirrors a comparable development in your world, Aquarius. In 2011, it’ll be easier to find success simply by being your mottled, speckled, variegated self. There’ll be less pressure for you to live up to standards of perfection meant for the pure breeds.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “All your longings know where to go,” writes poet Nick Piombino, “but you have to tell them to open their eyes.” That’s one of your big assignments in 2010, Pisces: to make sure your longings keep their eyes open. It’s not as easy as it might sound.

Sometimes your longings get so entranced by obsessive fantasies—so distracted by the stories that are swirling around in your imagination—that they’re blind to what’s right in front of them. You must speak to your longings tenderly and patiently, as you would a beloved animal, coaxing them to trust that life will bring more interesting and useful blessings than anything fantasy could provide.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “A man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking a question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve,” mused 19th-century author Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Advice that wild could just as well have been dispensed by a feral saint living in a cave in the woods. And now I’m passing it on to you, Aries, just in time for the beginning of what may be your wildest year in a decade. In my astrological opinion, you are ready to be a connoisseur of mysteries that purify the mind and nurture the soul…a daredevil of the spirit in quest of seemingly impossible dreams…a fierce adept of the wisdom of uncertainty who’s in love with unpredictable teachings.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): What confusing commotion would you like to walk away from and never come back to? What lessons have you learned so well that you’re overdue to graduate from them? What longterm healing process would you like to finish up so you can finally get started on the building phase that your healing will give you the power to carry out? These are excellent questions to ask yourself as you plan your life in the next six months.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Strait of Gibralter is the narrow passage between Europe and Africa where the Mediterranean Sea joins the Atlantic Ocean. According to legend, in ancient times the Latin phrase “ne plus ultra” was inscribed in the rock overlooking this gateway. It meant “not further beyond,” and served as a warning to sailors not to venture out to the wild waters past the strait. Eventually, that cautionary advice became irrelevant, of course. With a sturdy vessel, skilled crew, good preparation, and expert knowledge based on the experience of others, venturing out past the “ne plus ultra” point wasn’t dangerous. I hope you’ll take that as your cue in 2011, Gemini.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): There were problems with the soccer balls used in the World Cup last year. Many

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 7 | January 6, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

By Rob Brezsny

Truthrooster@gmail.com players felt they were difficult to control. Their trajectory was unpredictable. Brazilian forward Luis Fabiano went so far as to say that the ball “doesn’t want to be kicked.”

Other players said the balls were poorly made, like those “you buy in a supermarket.” I bring this to your attention as a cautionary metaphor, Cancerian. In 2011 you will be taking part in your equivalent of the World Cup. It will be crucial to have the very best tools and accessories. You can’t afford to play with balls that don’t respond accurately to your skillful means.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Biological diversity refers to the variety of life forms in any particular area, while cultural diversity measures the richness of social forms of expression. Then there’s biocultural diversity, which measures both together. Can you guess the places on the planet where biocultural diversity is highest? They’re Indonesia, Malaysia, Melanesia, the Amazon Basin, and Central Africa. I would love it if you had a chance to immerse yourself in environments like those in 2011, Leo. If you can’t manage that, find the next best thing.

You will thrive by exposing yourself to a kaleidoscopic mix of human types and natural influences.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When I started my rock band World Entertainment War, I was guided by a vision of us having two lead singers, me and another person. Ultimately I chose a woman named Darby Gould as my collaborator. While I have decent skills as a vocalist, her talent is genius-level. I knew that our work together would push me to be at the top of my game and allow me to write ambitious songs that I didn’t have the chops to sing by myself. I’ve always been pleased with how that strategy worked. Would you consider giving yourself a similar challenge in 2011, Virgo? It’ll be the Year of Collaboration for you. Why not put yourself in a position to transcend the limitations you have when operating solely under your own power?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Africa is cracking open in preparation for the birth of a new ocean. The whole process will take 10 million years, but the first sign occurred in 2005, when a 37-mile-long fissure appeared in Ethiopia. Eventually, say geologists, the rift will grow enormous and fill up with seawater. I expect a metaphorically comparable development for you in 2011, Libra: the subtle yet monumental beginning of a new “ocean” you’ll be enjoying and learning from and dealing with for many years to come.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 1967, the U.S. had 31,225 nuclear warheads. But by 2010 it had a mere 5,113. The world’s most militarized nation hopes to scale down to an even more modest 3,000 or so by 2021. In the coming year, Scorpio, I’d love to see you be inspired by that example to begin reducing your own levels of anger and combativeness. You don’t have to do away entirely with your ability to fight everyone who doesn’t agree with you and everything you don’t like; just cut back some. I’m sure that’ll still leave you with plenty of firepower.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “The heart is forever inexperienced,” said Thoreau. He believed our feeling nature is eternally innocent; that no matter how much we learn about the game of life, sadness or lust or rage or joy hits us as hard the thousandth time as it did in the beginning. But is that really true? Are you as likely to plunge into mind-exploding infatuation with your fourth lover as you were with your first? Are you as susceptible now to having your world turned upsidedown by flash floods of emotion as you were at age 15?

Over the years, haven’t you acquired wisdom about your reactive tendencies, and hasn’t that transformed them?

I disagree with Thoreau. I say that for the person who wants to cultivate emotional intelligence, the heart sure as hell better be capable of gaining experience. What do you think, Sagittarius? If you’re aligned with my view, 2011 will educate and ripen your heart as never before.

JONESIN’

Across 1 “Self-Portrait Dedicated to Leon Trotsky” painter 11 Former Israeli prime minister Olmert 15 Gershwin musical that featured “Fascinating Rhythm” 16 Poi base 17 Quantity just enough to fill a donut box, perhaps 18 Bust a gut 19 1990s TV character with a notable yell 20 Early 1800’s prime minister of France 22 Advanced theological degree: abbr.

23 Make out, to a Brit 25 Reading on a tire: abbr.

26 Numbers posted on pumps 32 Bass hook-up 35 Augustus’s time 36 Jazz pianist Tatum 37 Drive-thru visitor 38 It’s a little over a

yard 39 Realtor’s official gp.

40 Yell out 41 Miss in a cantina 42 Compass dir.

43 Article in Der Spiegel?

44 Like some magical practitioners 45 Gridiron measurements: abbr.

46 Search for gold 47 Enticing request 48 Beach policemen, for short 49 It flows through Ethiopia and Sudan 51 Coup d’___ 52 Send a schoolyard note for 53 Reason for sunglasses 54 Pitcher known as “Sal the Barber” 57 Additives to some hot dogs 60 Plays the ukulele 61 Omen 62 Surface shine 63 Takes in

“The Big 500”

–in honor of my 500th puzzle.

Down 1 Show off your guns 2 Highly successful reviews 3 I-9 form need: abbr.

4 Go-getter 5 Dance company once directed by Mikhail Baryshnikov 6 ___ Gardens 7 What tree rings denote 8 “Wait...”

9 Hit 2005 dance song

by Bob Sinclar and Gary Pine 10 Adoring poems 11 “And others,” to Cicero 12 Use a big rig 13 The munchies, e.g.

14 Exclamations said by almost all of the Simpsons 18 Failed to run the fastest, perhaps 21 When hobbies get done 23 Their walls are sometimes built with

mortar 24 Be a stoolie 27 Secondary legal actions 28 Vitamin A variety in medicine and cosmetics 29 They have too much government 30 Ozzie or Harriet, to Gunnar and Matthew 31 They may be taken on a treadmill 32 Take on 33 Carey with many Billboard Hot 100 records 34 She had a red letter day 50 89%, e.g.

51 Make happier 53 Bear warning 54 Controversial flavoring 55 Georgia airport code 56 Miracle-___ (plant food brand) 58 Beer variety 59 Rocky hill

Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0501.

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Ask A Mexican

By Gustavo Arellano

Say No to Gourmet Food Trucks “If you ever see a restaurant with the word chilango in it, it’s a Mexico City joint since that’s the nickname of the metropolis’ residents.”

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Dear Mexican, I was today alerted to the problem of trash dumped on the Sonoran Desert in Arizona and am trying to track down more articles about the issue. That is how I found you. There are lots and lots of piles of trash—looks like clothes—in a wash in Arizona. Can you tell me what’s going on?

— Previously Lived in California but Moved to Massachusetts Some Years Ago Dear Gabacha, Not just clothes but also water bottles, backpacks, plastic bags, human excrement— at least 24 million pounds of trash collected on the Arizona-Mexico border since the beginning of this century, according to the Bureau of Land Management, and almost all of it dropped by Mexicans coming into this country illegally. But if you think the Sonoran Desert is trashed, then you should’ve seen the Bowery around the turn of the 20th century.

I’m not going to make excuses for the Sonoran Desert garbage dump, other than people running for their lives tend to leave things behind, and it’s poverty that creates apathy toward neighborhood or environmental cleanliness—and it’s not an illegal-only or Mexican-only phenomenon. Not that pointing this out will quiet the Know Nothings who send around the pictures you received as further proof of denying amnesty to Mexicans, an argument about as logical as using photos of the bleachers after a Boston Red Sox games to boot the team from the major leagues (and those fans got into Fenway Park LEGALLY and thus have more of a responsibility to keep their cathedral clean).

On segunda thought, booting those bums

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 7 | January 6, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

ain’t a bad idea…a Bucky Dent to you pendejos!

Dear Mexican, I am white and proud. While deciding where to eat, my fellow whites and I sometimes decide to “go eat Mexican.” When Mexicans decide to “go eat Mexican,” do they say it the way we whites do? Or, do they simply say, “Let’s go eat”?

— Big Dick in Dallas Dear Gabacho, Hey, good luck with that white pride thing—I hear this country’s turning pastier by the day! And I’m glad Whites still need their Mexican food to properly fuel RAHOWA. But racial stupidities aside, “Mexican” food to Mexicans is like “American” food to Americans: our cookery is so varied that when we think about eating our food, we go by type of restaurant rather than a whole genre.

If we want home-style cooking, we seek out a fonda, the rough equivalent to eating at an inn; if it’s something a bit more formal but still casual, a cenaduría. If it’s tacos we want, a taqueria por supuesto; the wonderful goat stew birria, a birriería; tortillas, the tortillería.

Tamales?

We find our neighborhood tamalero.

Seafood palaces don’t have a formal name but always attach either mariscos or siete mares (the seven seas) to their name, and regional Mexican restaurants—eateries that specialize in the food of a particular region of Mexico— use identifiers to let people know their secret, whether the name of a state (Casa Oaxaca), city (Las Brisas de Apatzingán in SanTana

specializes in the food of that Michoaán city) or local nickname (if you ever see a restaurant with the word chilango in it, it’s a Mexico City joint since that’s the nickname of the metropolis’ residents).

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of food, gentle readers: if the “gourmet” food truck trend hasn’t hit your ’hood yet, it probably will this year. Do the Mexican a favor and call them luxe-loncheras, because at the end of the día, these trucks have to park at the same commissaries as the so-called roach coaches, so they’re really no different other than the luxe-loncheras will charge you four bucks for the same tacos the regular loncheras gives you for two.

GOOD MEXICANS OF THE WEEK! Xokolatl Café is all the way in the El Sereno neighborhood of Los Angeles, but what they do has national implications. They’re returning chocolate to its Aztec and Mayan roots by using heritage cacao farms in Mexico to create chocolate drinks based from traditional recipes. You can read more about them whenever I finish my book on the history of Mexican food in the United States—in the meanwhile, visit xokolatlcafe.com and ask your local Chicano coffee shop to talk to them about how to help independent cacao farmers fight the Hershey’s-fication of the world’s best sweet.

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!

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