The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 10

FREE • NEWS, VIEWS, MUSIC, FILM, ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • MARCH 10, 2011 • VOLUME 8, ISSUE 10 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

PULSE BEATS 4 ON THE BEAT 9 LIFE IN THE NOOG 19 DINING OUT 25 ASK A MEXICAN 30

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VOLUME 8, ISSUE 10 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“I thought of times on calls with the youngest ones, who just want to be held in such a way that they can stand on my gun belt.”

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— Alex Teach, on how children sadly grow up to be statistics...or worse.

“If you can truly communicate to them, 10 you can give them feelings beyond words and they will come back time and time again. ” — Ben Friberg on the effect jazz can have on an audience.

“Folks really better not be 21 persuaded to try this stuff at home. There are real risks involved. ” — Michael Crumb explaining the dangers, and appeal of the Subterranean Circus.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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NEWS Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Jaye Brewer, Rick Leavell Michelle Pih Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Josh Lang Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Pulse Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Dave Castaneda, Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb, John DeVore Ben Friberg, Janis Hashe Joshua Hurley, Matt Jones D.E. Langley, Kelly Lockhart Ernie Paik, Alex Teach Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

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Pulse Beats

New Direction, New Vision At The Hunter

"Q"

“The central office is not top-heavy.

I have been here five years and we have cut several million dollars out of our central office operations.”

— Hamilton County School Superintendant Dr. Jim Scales on claims the central office is “top-heavy” and needs to be cut even further.

The Hunter Museum of American Art has named Daniel E. Stetson its new director. He will begin work at the Hunter in late spring.

“I am pleased to be taking on this new position with the Hunter Museum of American Art and look forward to building an exciting future with this world-class museum,” Stetson said. “My genuine love of American art and the Hunter’s magnificent collection, the wonderful staff, marvelous buildings and dedicated board make this an ideal match. I look forward to exploring and getting to know the Chattanooga community.”

Stetson comes to the Hunter Museum from the Polk Museum of Art in Lakeland, Fla., where he served as executive director for nearly 15 years. He succeeds Robert A. Kret, who left in late 2009 after nine years.

“Daniel brings great enthusiasm and a wealth of experience,” said Norma P. Mills, chair of the Hunter Museum Board of Trustees. “I am certain the Hunter Museum and the community of Chattanooga will benefit greatly from his leadership and vision.”

Stetson joined Polk Museum of Art in September 1996, making him the museum’s longest-serving executive director. Under his leadership, the Polk Museum’s annual budget doubled and the value of the art collection more than doubled. He led the museum through the national reaccreditation process twice; worked to have the Polk named an Affiliate of the Smithsonian Institution; and spearheaded a successful capital campaign, which exceeded the $3.7 million goal.

He oversaw development and presentation of more than 250 exhibitions, and helped start the “Florida Outdoor Sculpture Competition,” now in its 11th year. Last fall, he initiated the creation of “MayfaireFlorida: Festival of the Arts,” a countywide arts festival. Under his leadership, the museum received the Central Florida Development Council’s Dick Pope Award in 2008 and the Downtown Lakeland Partnership’s Golden Swan Award in 2003.

Stetson is a native of Oneida, NY, and holds a bachelor’s degree in art history from SUNY Potsdam and a master of fine arts from Syracuse University. We here at The Pulse welcome him to Chattanooga and to the Hunter Museum.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

• The Hamilton County School Board is wrestling with a $7 million shortfall in their expected revenue for the coming school year. They were expecting $6 million in PILOT funds to be used to make ends meet. But the county commission has told the members that the money should be used for building new schools to handle a growing student population. One option being considered is cutting central office positions.

But Superintendant Dr. Jim Scales says that would only account for around $300,000 dollars. Scales has hinted that three schools may be shut down by next school year, but won’t name them.

• Celebrating its 10-year anniversary as a local hot spot for tourists and locals alike, the Chattanooga Market is geared up for another successful season with a full events calendar and overabundance of vendors. Kicking off with an early opening for the season is Chattanooga River Market on Saturday, March 19.

Opening day for the original Sunday Market is May 1. Continuing the tradition, live music will highlight the EPB stage every Sunday, featuring popular local artists as well as many from afar.

As always, the Chattanooga Market is a free event offering patrons a day of fellowship, entertainment and an opportunity to support their local economy.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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NEWS

Politics & Crime A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, March 15 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

5. Ordinances - Final Reading: a) An ordinance to amend Ordinance No. 12410, entitled “An ordinance, hereinafter also known as “the Fiscal Year 2010-2011 Budget Ordinance”, to provide revenue for the Fiscal Year beginning July 1, 2010, and ending June 30, 2011; appropriating same to the payment of expenses of the Municipal Government; fixing the rate of taxation on all taxable property in the City, and the time taxes and privileges are due, how they shall be paid, when they shall become delinquent; providing for interest and penalty on delinquent taxes and privileges; and to amend Chattanooga City Code, Part II, Chapter 2, Section 2-267, relative to paid leave for active-duty training and to amend Chattanooga City Code, Part II, Chapter 31, Sections 31-36, 31-37, 31-41, 31-43, 31-39, and 31-40,” to amend Section 31-36(a) pertaining to sewer rates.

Considering the number of issues surrounding the budgetary process, we would not be surprised to see this ordinance get deferred–but just in case it does come to a vote, we’re sharing it here.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

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Whatever happened to “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning” when calling a doctor about something that hurts? Apparently at least one doctor was in favor of something a bit stronger…and maybe even a bit more profitable. A Cleveland doctor was arrested last week at his North Georgia clinic and charged with multiple counts of prescribing hydrocodone illegally. Catoosa County Sheriff Phil Summers said the doctor was arrested after an investigation into an unusual number of prescriptions for the pain medication being written by the wayward medicine man. The clinic will remain closed until the outcome of the investigation.

Every police officer has one of those calls where they have to wonder why they were even bothered in the first place. Case in point: officers were called to a Greendale Way residence on the report of a stolen cell phone.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

It turned out that a 15-year-old girl was accusing her 14-year-old brother of stealing her phone while she was in the shower.

When questioned, the brother not only denied the charge, but said his sister was the guilty party, having taken his phone the day before. The situation was resolved when the grandmother of the teens threatened to take both of their phones away, at which point the brother returned the missing phone to his sister.

Laptop computers are a popular item with thieves. However, as one 7th Avenue resident pointed out to officers, there are now much easier ways to catch computer thieves.

According to the police report, the woman had come home and surprised an intruder in her house. She chased him out of the house— but not before he had snatched her lapt o p

and cell phone. She was not as upset about it as one might expect, since she told officers the computer had GPS capability and would be easy to locate. No word on whether her high-tech sleuthing was successful, though.

The rules governing bars in the city are quite clear: They must close by 3 a.m., they can’t lock the doors if customers are inside, and they can’t have liquor on the premises if they don’t have a liquor license. It’s also just common sense that it’s never a good idea to allow patrons to fire up illicit substances. Yet that is just what an East 23rd Street bar owner was accused of after a recent investigation by police. Officers on routine patrol noticed the bar appeared to be open after hours, and when they went to investigate, they found the doors locked and a strong smell of marijuana coming from inside. To make matters worse, they weren’t allowed inside until they had knocked on doors and windows for about 20 minutes. Once they did enter, they found a large group of people, evidence of pot smoking, and several bottles of vodka in plain view. As a result, the Beer Board handed down a number of suspensions and told the owner to keep much stricter tabs on his customers and employees.

NEWS

Commentary

Animal Rescue As the owner of two rescued animals, I would like to commend The Pulse for covering such an important issue. It always saddens me to see puppy mill dogs for sale at outrageous prices in pet stores when there are so many other animals yearning for a good home available for very low adoption costs. And for those that, for whatever reason, feel they need a specific breed, both of my pets are pure-blooded.

Rescue groups and the various shelters have plenty of “pure” breeds as well as the mixed mutts that may not have a pedigree but are just as happy to share your home and your life.

Stacy Shaddrich Juvenile Crime & Punishment Juvenile crime stats down? In my opinion, that is largely because many of the “worst of the worst” juvenile offenders have been transferred to the adult criminal court system, for what that’s worth. Once out on bond and committing more crimes, their recent criminal activities are not considered “juvenile crime” now that they are in the adult system. They are now part of the adult criminal merry-go-round.

Beth Ron Speaking of the Coolidge Park/Bus Stop shooter…I found it interesting that right about the same time as the second incident, these

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

red-and-black billboards started showing up all over the state declaring that Gun Crime Means Hard Time, with humorous little phrases like “Hope you like prison food” on them. I had to laugh, just to keep from crying. I’m sure these “children” laugh too, but for different reasons.

Offspring probably said it best. “Hey they don’t pay no mind / If you’re under 18 you won’t be doing any time / Hey come out and play.”

Jeff Wormsley

Victim of the Military Empire?

Depending on your view of the endless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and America’s role in them, Pfc. Bradley E. Manning, the 23-yearold Army soldier who is accused of “aiding the enemy” by leaking classified military and diplomatic documents to the anti-secrecy website, Wikileaks, is either a courageous whistleblower or a traitorous snitch. However, there can be no doubt that Manning’s inhumane treatment by the U.S. government is intended to send a clear warning to all those who would challenge the military empire— “DON’T EVEN CONSIDER IT.” Sadly, we in America have conveniently forgotten that we once stood for something more than a warring military empire.

John Whitehead Ask A Mexican?

What happened to “Ask A Mexican”? I look forward to reading his insights into Hispanic culture in America every week.

James Cooper Editor’s response: Unfortunately, we did not have space for Gustavo Arellano’s “Ask A Mexican” column in last week’s issue. However, all of his columns are available on our website at www.chattanoogapulse.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

On The Beat

Lives Hanging in the Balance R

onald Blackmon Jr. was shot in the head on a recent Friday afternoon. He died the next day in time for his assailant’s murder charges to have the “Attempted” removed from them.

According to reports, he was shot in return for another shooting, and so 18-year-olds Edward Ryals Jr. and Demetrius Bibbs are sitting in jail awaiting trial over the no-doubtegregious transgression for which Mr. Blackmon was punished, but here we are…the world minus three young men: One dead, two in jail.

I actually think about what they might have accomplished, as I freakishly do about all the young men and women I have seen dead at my feet during so many years gone by. Not necessarily the creator of a cure for cancer or the inventor of a new clean-burning fuel…but I can always hope for the invention of a candy better than Nerds (but good luck on that).

I turned away from Sheridan Avenue and reached up to my lips as if to remove a cigarette, but one hadn’t been there in years now…just as Mr. Blackmon never would walk that street again. Both he and the cigarette were ghosts now, ideas of things that once were and never would be again.

(Relax. Scenes like this are not that complicated; if they were no one could do The Job for more than a week or two, but…thoughts still go dark once in a while. Come to think of it, not going to dark places now and then is an even bigger worry, because it means either you don’t care anymore, or that darkness has consumed you. Now, back to our story.)

I closed my eyes against the retreating daylight, and for some reason began to think about kids. All of them.

Weird.

I thought of times on calls with the youngest ones, who just want to be held in such a way that they can stand on my gun belt and stabilize themselves just enough to play with my uniform shirt. An 8 month old would spend days there if they could (roughly 25 seconds to those familiar with the human baby attention span), standing on a double .45 magazine holster while he (or she) played with a brass name tag or shield, drooling absently onto the plastic composite buckle that held the belt together. Keeping them distracted and happy was key, because when a cop is holding a baby on the job, it’s usually not a result of good news.

A 10 year old would ask my name (fully expecting an “Officer” before it), look wideeyed into my own eyes as if they held the future….and hang on to every word, because they want to believe in us…that is, if their parents haven’t already ruined them by saying stupid shit like “See that man, that policeman will arrest you if you don’t do your homework!”, making us objects of fear instead of sources of help.

Ten year olds are good because they’re at that point in life where they’re seeing some pretty significant signs that there might not be a Santa Claus after all…but police officers, they’re tangible beings and don’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.

It’s the innocence, I guess. When kids hear sirens, their first instinct is not to run; it’s to see what’s going on. To see if they can help.

When they see a cop car, they don’t first think to slam

Alex Teach

on the brakes; they look, literally hoping it will burst into light and sound as it moves to the next impediment of a Just Society: They WANT it to go forth, to work.

Regardless of age, I believe I just appreciate their innocence. And a return to innocence in any form is a welcome break when you’re standing in the aftermath of the last act of someone’s life.

These kids on Sheridan…I have worked there for years now. I probably saw them around the time they were learning to ride bikes, when they felt they were too old for the bus. And now they’re old enough to vote, buy smokes legally, join the service—and apparently murder someone.

“I thought of times on calls with the youngest ones, who just want to be held in such a way that they can stand on my gun belt and stabilize themselves just enough to play with my uniform shirt.”

I looked down to avoid the inconvenient pools of blood that so recently belonged inside Mr. Blackmon, and stared awhile longer as the coagulation would break now and then and begin moving down the vein of a nearby sidewalk as if pursuing new business on its own, and I was snapped out of it by a welcome (though potentially inappropriate) sound: Children were laughing across the street, riding bicycles.

And the beat goes on.

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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COVER STORY

Jazz In Chattanooga

Springtime Downbeat:

Jazz Juices Up Chattanooga

By Ben Friberg

Editor’s note: Chattanooga’s music scene continues to grow—and that includes that most American of all music forms—jazz. We asked local jazz guy Ben Friberg of the Ben Friberg Trio to give us the lowdown on what’s going on locally in the next few months. If you love jazz, don’t miss these chances to see world-class talent.

D

uring the next couple of months, jazz fans will have four opportunities to catch world-renowned jazz artists here in your hometown of Chattanooga.

That hasn’t happened in quite a while. A slew of young lions and greats alike will be visiting Barking Legs Theater and Roland Hayes Concert Hall at UTC. Whether you are a seasoned jazz listener or just like the “good” stuff, check these guys out and save yourself a plane ticket to the Big Apple.

The first opportunity will be on Friday, March 11, at 8 p.m. at Barking Legs with the Mara Rosenbloom Quartet. Mara is a stellar pianist who has a fresh New York sound, great tone, modern harmonic ideas, and rhythms the entire ensemble can latch onto and build from, thus creating that ensemble “synergy effect” jazz audiences love so much. Mara began her musical journey in Madison, Wisconsin, before her tenure in NYC, where she studied music at NYU and gained praises from the likes of world-famous pianist and jazz educator Kenny Werner.

If Kenny likes your musical approach, then you are doing something right and have a very bright future.

The ensemble features Downbeat Magazine’s 2010 Rising Star, Darius Jones, on alto sax, Maeve Royce on bass, and Nick Anderson on drums.

Mara’s web site at www.mararosenbloom.com has tracks from her recent debut album as a leader, School of Fish. Barking Legs’ recent addition of a 1916 Steinway grand piano will be a great vehicle to deliver the quartet’s sonorous sounds.

On Tuesday March 29, at 7:30 p.m., the San Francisco (SF) Jazz Collective will be performing in the Roland Hayes Concert Hall in the Fine

“A slew of young lions and greats alike will be visiting Barking Legs Theater and Roland Hayes Concert Hall at UTC.”

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

COVER STORY

Jazz In Chattanooga

Arts Building on UTC's campus. The ensemble will be performing their arrangements of music of Stevie Wonder as well as their own original compositions. Instrumentation of the octet includes Edward Simon on piano, Eric Harland on drums, Matt Penman on bass, Stefon Harris on vibes, Miguel Zenón on alto sax, Mark Turner on tenor sax, Avishai Cohen on trumpet, and Robin Eubanks on trombone. Unless you are familiar with the young lions of today's jazz scene, you may not have heard the names of these musicians, but believe me, they are among the leaders forging the jazz

frontier today. My personal favorite in this group is Mark Turner. His recordings alongside guitarist Kurt Rosenwinkel have not left my listening play list in more than three years.

Hancock, Wayne Shorter, Thelonious Monk, John Coltrane, and Horace Silver. Those last six names mentioned should give you some idea of the harmonic and rhythmic ideas infused in the sounds when they perform on the selected Stevie Wonder compositions— probably soulfully spectacular with lots of energy. Reviews for this ensemble from the New York Times, Jazz Times, and All About Jazz have been stellar.

On Saturday, April 15, a true modern day “Thelonious (T.S.) Monk” musician will be performing at Barking Legs. I say T.S. Monk because he is so unique,

“His sounds have left critics puzzled about how to label him—anything from free jazz, post bop, hip hop, contemporary classical, and electronica have been used.”

The approach this ensemble takes in selecting musical material is worth noting. Each year, they take one famous musician and thoroughly explore their compositions. This year happens to be Stevie Wonder; in recent years it has been Ornette Coleman, Herbie

Ben Friberg Interview: Jazz Is In The Blood We asked Ben Friberg about his own career in jazz.

The Pulse: How old were you when you got interested in jazz, and how did that happen?

Ben Friberg: I started playing alto saxophone in fourth grade and switched to guitar in eighth. When I was 18, my parents took me to see a performance at the Blue Note in Greenwich Village, NYC, with Ray Brown and Stanley Turrentine. That performance, along with a Wes Montgomery CD my mom gave me, fueled my passion for studying the form.

TP: Who are your major influences and how do they continue to resonate in your music?

BF: My first big influence was Wes Montgomery. His music was sophisticated, yet hip to all years and expressed so much joy! During the last three years, I’ve listened almost solely to Kurt Rosenwinkel. He is so inspiring! Last week, my wife and I went to NYC to see him perform and record at Small’s.

TP: How long has the current trio been playing together?

BF: We’re going on four years. It’s been great—like college all over again. There has been so much learning, and our time playing gigs in town together has given me so much time on the

instrument.

TP: What would you like to see happen with your group?

BF: We push hard, maturing and evolving into something more polished and firm every week.

Sure, I’d love for the trio to have the opportunity to play in some big jazz festivals in years to come but, most importantly, I hope the ensemble members individually achieve what they originally envisioned when they embarked on their personal journey in music.

TP: Do you see the Chattanooga jazz scene growing; if so, how and why?

BF: I hope so, if not, we’re not doing our job. It’s our job to communicate to our audience. We play mainly in restaurants, so it is not uncommon for our audience to change with every performance. If you can truly communicate to them, you can give them feelings beyond words and they will come back time and time again. Demonstrating a certain mastery on an instrument only keeps people’s attention for so long—the music must be honest. www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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COVER STORY

Jazz In Chattanooga

he simply sounds like no other musician, a rarity in jazz today. Pianist Matthew Shipp has achieved what most serious musicians spend a lifetime striving for, something different, something to call your own. His compositions often are not something you could capture on a traditional lead sheet; they are improvisations in the truest sense.

Matthew possesses the ability to explore on a single spontaneous musical idea until every corner of rhythm and harmony has been addressed. All of his recordings I’ve listened to demonstrate this approach.

Some musicians refer to it as “motif” development, meaning they take a simple idea and go with it—and they don’t stop, as the possibilities are endless. For the audience this approach to music is great because they can’t get lost in “form” or tech-

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

nicalities. You can enjoy it even if you walk right in on the middle of a tune, almost like something by Debussy, Ravel or Satie.

Throughout his career he has recorded as leader or co-leader on more than 40 albums. His sounds have left critics puzzled about how to label him—anything from free jazz, post bop, hip hop, contemporary classical, and electronica have been used.

Matthew will be giving a solo performance at Barking Legs and will surely test the limits of their recently added Steinway. He will also host a question and answer session following the performance. Q&As are great opportunity for aspiring musicians to learn from a master.

On Saturday, May 14, 8 p.m., a performance will take place with the Mark Boling Trio alongside Gregory Tardy on tenor

COVER STORY

Jazz In Chattanooga

sax. The Mark Boling Trio consists of members from the University of Tennessee School of Music Jazz Program in Knoxville, TN, including Rusty Holloway on bass, Keith Brown on drums and Mark Boling on guitar. Mark has recorded two albums with the Boling Brown Holloway Trio, Evidence and Tune Me. He has also written a couple of books geared toward the study of jazz and

“Almost every serious jazz musician coming from the Chattanooga area over the last 15-20 years has had help from these three masters in sculpting their own craft.” he is the coordinator of the jazz program at UTK. These three musicians have performed together for nearly 30 years. Almost every serious jazz musician coming from the Chattanooga area over the last 15-20 years has had help from these three masters in sculpting their own craft.

Joining the trio on tenor sax will be Gregory Tardy. The addition of Tardy guarantees an energy-packed evening.

Tardy’s performances are always high octane and soulful, while demonstrating jazz of the highest caliber. When I was working at the Churchill Grounds Jazz Club in Atlanta, this artist performed one night, and after his performance I walked up and purchased four of his CDs as a leader and had them all signed. Certain moments in his solos build to the point that Coltrane was reaching late in his career. I’m very familiar with Mark’s trio so it will be exciting to see them alongside such a powerhouse. If you haven’t heard these guys before, you must go see them.

All in all, it’s an exciting spring for jazz buffs in Chattanooga.

Catch Ben Friberg at the following weekly gigs: Tuesdays, 6:30 –8:30 p.m. at Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253: Ben Friberg on guitar, David Schwab on bass.

Wednesdays, 7 –9 p.m. at Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260: Ben Friberg on guitar, David Schwab on bass, Matt Turnure on drums.

Fridays, 6:30 – 9:30 p.m. at Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253: Ben Friberg on guitar, David Schwab on bass, Jim Crumble on drums.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Feature

Adjust Your Frequency

By Dave Castaneda, Pulse Music Writer

W

ouldn't it be nice if there were someone in town finally bringing in top-quality headliners in electronic dance music? A new crew in town called the KNOW Buddies is doing just that on March 19 at 412 Market with the first installment of their “Frequency” showcase. The event is described as bringing in the top producers from around the country paired with the best local and regional talent.

For the first installment, they are bringing in California producer J. Rabbit who has records released on Play Me Records, Badman Press, and Trillbass Recordings. Also headlining are regional heavyweights, Kakarot MC and Oreo, which is sure to make Frequency a night to remember.

J. Rabbit earned his rank as a prominent producer in the drum and bass scene during 2005, when he was accepted into the veteran Viticus Production crew. J. Rabbit then went on to form his own weekly drum and bass nights in the heart of New York City in Times Square from 2006 to 2007.

to see Chattanooga producer DJ Bassel open up for drum and bass legend Goldie at The Masquerade. Kakarot MC just happened to be performing and I was impressed by the amount of energy he brings to the stage.

He takes any party and makes sure that the volume is turned all the way up to 11. Kakarot ensures that the audience will remember what a good time they had.

Kakarot has been involved in the Atlanta drum and bass scene for m o r e than five years. If you go to any drum and bass or dubstep show in Atlanta, it is very likely that Kakarot MC will have a part in the show. This artist has an extensive portfolio— he has been in such high demand for shows that he has rhymed over a plethora of A-list producers, including Chase & Status, Goldie, Adam F, DJ Fresh, Ed Rush & Optical, Bailey, Dieselboy, Noisia, Technical Itch, Black Sun Empire, The Upbeats, Concord Dawn, Spor, Aphrodite, Micky Finn, Calibre, Dara, AK1200, Rusko, Caspa, Plastician, DZ and Stagga.

If this isn’t enough to get you excited—Oreo from Knoxville is a sure-fire way to get the night started right! Oreo is affiliated with Tennessee EDM, an online community of producers, promoters, and DJs, extending all the way from Knoxville to Nashville to Memphis to Chattanooga and back. The TN EDM crew is a tight network of kids that have been into the EDM scene for years. If you ever want to dig deeper into this genre. I would recommend a visit to their community.

“Wouldn't it be nice if someone in town was finally bringing in top-quality headliners in electronic dance music?

A new crew in town called the KNOW Buddies is doing just that.”

J. Rabbit’s popularity has risen over the years, and you can now catch him playing gigs all over the United States and Canada. He was recently in the spotlight via Diplo’s Mad Decent records blog, and has now released a free mix tape with some of his best works on MadDecent.com.

J. Rabbit will be accompanied by Kakarot MC, hailing from Atlanta. Traditionally in the UK, drum and bass concerts will always have a rapper or MC host the night and rhyme over the DJ’s beats. About a month ago, I went down to Atlanta

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Oreo has been making music since he was 16 and after a brief stint in the military he returned to San Antonio, Texas to start making music again.

From there, he went on to play at Ultra Music Festival in Miami, and has played alongside a diverse group of acts, including Borgore, S3RL, Benni Benassi, Reid Speed, The Crystal Method, Trillbass, Geno Cochino, Charlie P, Excision, Downlink and Antiserum.

He has since returned to Knoxville and has played in more than 36 US cities.

In addition to this large line up of great headliners never before seen in Chattanooga, you will also get to see great support from locals like DJ Drugmoney and Axis One, who both host the monthly Nightmoves electronic music nights. Also, opening the night are newcomers Bassdonors and Wiz Kid, bringing their own blend of sub-bass music.

The sound system for this event will be top of the line, with the JMJ Production crew bringing in a total of twelve 18-inch subs to pump out the lowest of the low-end frequency sounds.

There will also be a light show that is sure to be an excellent complement to this line up of heavy bass champions. Be sure to check out Frequency on March 19—it will be a smash hit, bringing together some of the best from the region.

Frequency with J. Rabbit, Kakarot MC and Oreo $15 10 p.m.

Saturday, March 19 412 MRKT, 412 Market Street

MUSIC

Ernie Paik's CD Reviews

Arthur Russell and the Ahleuchatistas Location Location Flying Hearts Ballad of the Lights (Audika/Presspop)

While the instrumental group Ahleuchatistas from Asheville, North Carolina has reconfigured itself from a trio into a duo—a lineup unveiled a year ago at the Big Ears Festival in Knoxville— it has actually evolved into a beast that is even more complex than before. Previous albums by Ahleuchatistas featured incredibly complicated, often fast-paced compositions that merged a prog-rock intricacy, the fury of hardcore and the bite of downtown NYC avant-thrash-jazz.

The outfit is still tight, ferocious and nuanced, but it has become more unpredictable and harder to classify, with more abstract passages and opportunities for improvisation, the use of sound loops and a greater variety of approaches.

The group’s first full-length as a duo, entitled Location Location, has several tracks that will satisfy the initiated: numbers with precise, rapid-fire guitar playing from Shane Perlowin and extremely agile drumming from Ryan Oslance.

The finest of these is “Heraclitean,” previously released on a split 10-inch record and presented here in a five-minute abridged version; it builds to a mind-blowing, dizzying conclusion, possibly like Dick Dale covering “Flight of the Bumblebee” with intense jungle drums. “Israel” is another highlight, with Perlowin providing some of the warmest, expressive soloing on the album atop a bed of stimulatingly nervous drumming.

However, there seems to be a conscious effort on Location Location to be sonically diverse, with elements ranging from no wave jabs, E-bowed and echoing synth-esque manipulated guitar sounds, unsettling crackles and subtly pulsing tones that gradually turn into noise. The least characteristic track on Location Location is the appropriately named “Mistaken Identity,” a percussion-heavy number which seems to take a West African rhythmic influence, with guitar lines woven into the mix like threads. While previous releases took an aesthetic, employed it with striking results and pushed it to its boundaries, the new chapter of Ahleuchatistas has an expansive spirit that promises to be even more fruitful than ever.

(Open Letter)

The record label Audika has gradually unfurled releases from the brilliant, late cellist/ composer/singer/songwriter Arthur Russell at a measured pace since 2004. Knowing that there are hundreds of his unreleased recordings in the vaults, this relative trickle might be frustrating for devoted fans of his work, but it’s hard to argue with the care and attention that each release gets, with impeccable selections grouped together sensibly, given Russell’s diverse catalog. For example, First Thought Best Thought featured his avant-garde chamberpop, Calling Out of Context leaned toward his electronic, more dance-oriented material, and Love Is Overtaking Me included his rare cowboy, folk, and pop songs. The latest Russell offering from Audika, Ballad of the Lights, available as a limited edition 10-inch vinyl record and as a digital download, consists of two tracks with Beat Generation poet Allen Ginsberg, and although the title track was considered for inclusion on Love Is Overtaking Me, it makes sense to have the Ginsberg collaborations stand on their own.

Throughout “Ballad of the Lights,” Ginsberg recites a poem about a contemplative man, saying lines in his deep voice such as, “He sees the lights / He wonders if they are talking to each other / And he wonders if they are talking to him.” Recorded in 1977, the ballad’s music has two parts; the simple, yet effective first part uses just Russell’s cello and his voice, singing in a manner that’s simultaneously resolute and tender, and the second features his band The Flying Hearts, with reserved, easygoing, heartfelt pop with Russell switching to organ. “Pacific High Studio Mantras,” recorded in 1971, features Russell on cello, but it’s primarily a Ginsberg piece, as he (a practicing Buddhist) sings slow, sustained notes of an old Tibetan mantra and plays harmonium drones, with an accompanying chorus, flute and mandolin. The track doesn’t have compelling melodies like those heard in Russell’s other material and isn’t exactly endlessly replayable, but it’s a unique item in his catalog, for those who enjoy curiosities. www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Concert Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

Mark Knight and Matt Abts With special surprise guest. $15 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Thursday

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Vinyl Night 6 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Soul Survivor 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Open Mic Night 8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Mark Knight & Matt Abts, Drummer For Gov’t Mule And Co. 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com DJ and Dancing 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Rick Rushing 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Lullwater, Bryan Hensley, Matt Campbell 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Friday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com dAngEr k!tTy 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro,1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. southsidesaloonandbistro.com MANIFEST V: Juxtapose 8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Mara Rosenbloom Quartet 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, (423) 624-5347.

1307 Dodds Ave. www.barkinglegs.org Tea Bumpass Band 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com

Divine Jazz 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt Brian Collins 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

This is Art, Play Low & Sonic Spank 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Machines Are People Too, Baby Baby, U.S. Royalty, Rene Breton 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

The Fried Chicken Trio 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com The Cadillac Saints 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

Saturday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Machines Are People Too, Baby Baby, U.S. Royalty, Rene Breton

Great bill headed by local Machines. $7 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Mike Hulsey Band 7 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 756-4786. www.myspace.com/ ziggysundergroundmusic Foundation Band 8 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898.

Mark Growden Trio plus Christie Burns 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, (423) 624-5347.

1307 Dodds Ave. www.barkinglegs.org Mose Giganticus, Oxxen, Subterranean Cirqus 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Castlebay 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rad. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org

MUSIC

Concert Calendar

SATURDAY

Matt Growden Trio

“Genre-busting” Bay Area Growden Trio along with local fave Burns. $10 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room, The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Wendall Cain 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. southsidesaloonandbistro.com.

Muddy Mule 8:30 p.m. McHale's Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124.

Brian Collins 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Tommy Davis 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt DJ 33 and Dancing 9 p.m. Backstage (inside Holiday Bowl), 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777.

SUNDAY

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Donna Hopkins 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Fly By Radio 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Sandy and Greg 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com Fried Chicken Trio 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Sunday

Traditional Irish Music 3 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. facebook.com/TheHonestPint Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. myspace.com/debbieslounge Karaoke with DJ Stoli 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com The Fox Hunt, Whiskey Bent Valley Boys 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Monday

Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (433) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Rigoletto & Millennium Falconer 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 Saint Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Live DJ – Karaoke 8 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Karaoke with DJ Stoli 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Tuesday

Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com California Guitar Trio 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Karaoke with DJ Stoli 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

The Fox Hunt, Whiskey Bent Valley Boys

Americana/roots with West Virginia’s Fox Hunt. $5 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Wednesday

Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Open Mic Night 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

2-n-Fro 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

DJ Spins – Karaoke Contest 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Nathan Angelo with Brad Passons 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Life In The ‘Noog

From Greyhound To The Grave L

ast week the ‘noog experienced weather of Biblical proportions as tornados touched down in all parts of the city—from East Brainerd to North Chatt. It was scary for just about everyone, whether you heeded the “warnings” and took appropriate precautions or not. Unfortunately I did not.

I don’t make it to the other side of town (East Brainerd area) that often. But when the mighty wrath of the storm conjured up the old margarine slogan, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature,” I was at the worst possible place on Earth one might choose to meet their maker: the Greyhound bus station on Airport Road.

I was there to pick up a package that had traveled from San Diego to Chattanooga the past two or three weeks. And since the bus station is only open when there’s actually a bus scheduled to depart or arrive, the witching hour of 2 p.m. on that dreaded Monday was one of the limited opportunities I had to secure the vintage webbed chaise lawn chair I’d lovingly won on eBay for my girlfriend’s Valentine’s Day gift.

Like any self-respecting individual, I’m not a fan of bus travel or bus stations, but when it comes to shipping oversized packages, the mighty Greyhound provides one of the most cost-effective options out there —as long as you don’t need the contents for a month or so.

Don’t let the name fool you. Greyhounds are one of the fastest breeds of dogs, but their motorized namesake is perhaps better likened to a turtle, or three-toed sloth. If you’ve ever had the chance to “let [them] do the driving,” then you know what I mean.

I once sold a car in Nashville and rode the bus back down to Chattanooga. That’s back when the bus station

was downtown, and a known hangout for bums, hookers, drug dealers and anyone else who wasn’t going ANYwhere. I had to wait at Nashville’s downtown station for an hour or so before departing, and the whole time I remember thinking my luggage and wallet might make it to other destinations before I ever boarded the “safety” of the bus.

About six hours later, after stopping in cities I didn’t even know existed along the route that crisscrossed Southeast Tennessee, we arrived at the station formerly located on Chestnut Street. Upon arrival in my hometown, I fled the scene to more familiar surroundings faster than a greyhound (dog). I guess the scary nature of the station’s regular guests is what prompted the bus line to relocate to a new “state-of-the-art” facility out by the airport. And that’s where I found myself on doomsday.

When I arrived at the station, I did notice that the sky was growing darker. The ominous nature of the atmosphere had me believing that a storm’s a brewing. Waiting in line behind a few people, leaning my arm on the freshly duct-taped Formica countertop, I received a text that scared the hell out of me: “Gt outta thr fst a torndo is cming—NoW!” I turned around and peered out of the wall of glass windows that make up the station’s façade to witness trees blowing over like bent straws and rain pelting the building so hard that I could barely hear the frustrated passenger in front of me say to the attendant when their credit card machine suddenly went down, “Well, sonny, if I had the

Chuck Crowder

cash I wouldn’t be using a credit card now would I?” By the time I received my package, the rain had suddenly stopped. So, I decided to get the box out to the car while I had the chance. But the sky hadn’t lightened up any, and that’s when I remembered that when a tornado passes through an area the rain will stop and things will seem calm—for the moment. So after shutting the car door, I ran back into the station. In fact, I didn’t just reenter hell, I double-timed it to the safest place hell had to offer—the windowless cinderblock bathroom.

Standing there, scared shiftless, trying to calm myself by deciphering the scribbled graffiti on the walls and mirrors, it occurred to me that I might die in possibly one of the worst places imaginable—the bathroom of the Greyhound station. In the immortal words of Charlie Sheen, “I tired of pretending that I’m not special.” I am. I can’t be HERE when this happens. I should be hunkered down in some basement with my loved ones when the roof rips off, not alone in a smelly transient latrine.

“I didn’t just reenter hell, I double-timed it to the safest place hell had to offer— the windowless cinderblock bathroom.”

When it was all over, I couldn’t help thinking how lucky we all are for having weathered that storm safely. A fallen tree or power line might inconvenience us, but at least you’ll never have to say, “You remember him, he’s the guy who died in the bathroom of the bus station.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website at www.thenoog.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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ARTS

Feature

Enter the Wasteland

By Michael Crumb, Pulse Arts Writer

A

cross the table from me. Lazarus Z. Hellgate exudes radiance as he explains his vision of the upcoming expeditions of the Subterranean Circus. The first of these, “Wasteland”, will transform JJ’s Bohemia under the strange, dark skies of the year 2111. Audience members are encouraged to attend in costume reflecting an archeological fashion sense as denizens of the next century struggling to recover their history, lost to chaotic developments.

Hellgate warns that the government seeks the repression of circus and sideshows, but the Subterranean Circus will offer a broad palette of sensuous experiences, including sideshow acts culled from discoveries made during the intervening decades of mad darkness.

The music will have a metallic accent, featuring Chattanooga’s fierce Oxxen, along with touring band Mose Giganticus. To my knowledge, Mose Giganticus is the only band to have refused the frenzied cry from the crowd of, “One more song!”, having exhausted their entire repertoire during a long, rousing set.

Special guest act Chaotic Suspensions, also from Chattanooga, will do “hook pulls.” Leroy Lewis, the Irish Strong Man, will provoke with dangerous feats, and Pinkie the Princess of Pain will tease and rattle nerves. In fact, it has apparently been ascertained that Pinkie is the only woman in the world to accomplish one particular eye-popping feat.

change.”

Some may recall when the Sadistic Scenic City Sideshow debuted on the club scene here in Chattanooga. The Subterranean Circus represents a significant evolution with their presentation of fantastic environments.

Although they may request a suspension of disbelief, the stunts are real and affective.

The past “Dystopia” shows presented a breakthrough in club performance, featuring constant aural stimulation and very bizarre visual montages, along with sideshow feats of endurance.

Another “Dystopia” show is upcoming on May 26, featuring music with an experimental art video wall. Hellgate promises an “assault on all the senses at once,” including sideshow and performance art.

Hellgate’s mission with the Subterranean Circus seeks to embrace everything outside of the norm. Friday, May 13 will bring “Wrestlehemia,” spotlighting a “coffin match” and bringing wrestling closer to its actual sideshow roots. Opposite Box will bring their high-energy funk rock to complement the bodily strain of wrestling and sideshow acts.

Two key concepts at the core of the Circus involve their varietal presentations, sometimes reminiscent of burlesque, and their deep focus on body science, knowing and showing what the body is capable of. Folks really better not be persuaded to try this stuff at home. There are real risks involved. On the other hand, anyone who is already accom-

“Hellgate’s mission with the Subterranean Circus seeks to embrace everything outside of the norm.”

Hellgate will also bring forth Handlebar Jones, the world’s oldest 12-year-old boy, and mad brother Jonathan, along with Viktor Pennygrimm and Andy Pyburn. Hellgate’s conjurings will include a new “mystery” burlesque girl. As he says, “If there’s something you don’t like, wait five minutes, it’ll

plished in some weird performance act or art should seek an interview with Hellgate for possible inclusion in the Circus’s repertoire.

Bring your attitude or skill into Hellgate’s presence. His whereabouts are often mysterious. Hellgate has found himself characterized by a line in Milton’s Paradise Lost: “Hell within him so with him hell he brings.” Having arisen out of mythological poetry, his defeat of the devil having cost him his soul, he remains obsessed with conjuring from audiences such intense emotional reactions that remind him that he still bears a shred of connection to human experience.

Hellgate will be participating in an upcoming “Sabbath” show at JJ’s. These Goth parties are a project of Tony Levi’s and feature industrial music, along with other dark spinnings, highlighted with strange visuals.

The Subterranean Circus also tours. They will be present at Frolicon in Atlanta, April 21-24. Also, watch for their upcoming web site at subterraneancircus.com. You may now enter “The Wasteland.”

Subterranean Circus: “Wasteland” $7 10 p.m.

Saturday, March 12 JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

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ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

The Way Back

Oscar-nominated film inspired by a true story of the escape of POWs from a Siberian prison camp.

Multiple showings Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375. www.artsedcouncil.org

Thursday

Opening Reception: “Early Flight” 5 p.m. Boyd Gallery, The McCallie School, 500 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-8300.

Art + Issues: Immigration 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (956) 459-8611 . www.huntermuseum.org Catholic Charities Annual Dinner 6:30 p.m. The Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400.

In the Mood 7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050. www.chattanooga.gov Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus 7 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627. www.ringling.com Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

UTC Symphonic Band 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music The Midnight Swinger 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

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Friday

Tuba/Euphonium Conference 8 a.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music Full Moon Tattoo & Horror Festival 2 p.m. Chattanooga Downtown Marriott Hotel, 2 Carter Plaza. www.fullmooninc.net Southern Trophy Hunters’ Big Buck Expo 3 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.southerntrophyhunters.com Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus 7 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627. www.ringling.com Ghosts 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.

A Year With Frog and Toad 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com The Midnight Swinger 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Manifest V: Juxtapose 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Saturday

Gang Awareness Seminar 8 a.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 752-4449. www.chattanooga.gov Tuba/Euphonium Conference 8 a.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music Southern Trophy Hunters’ Big Buck Expo 9 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.southerntrophyhunters.com Full Moon Tattoo & Horror Festival 11 a.m. Chattanooga Downtown Marriott Hotel, 2 Carter Plaza. www.fullmooninc.net Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus 11 a.m., 3 p.m., 7 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627. www.ringling.com Shamrock City Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com Ghosts 2 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.

Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com A Year With Frog and Toad 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Mara Rosenbloom Quartet

Debut of Jazz Series features New York pianist Rosenbloom. $10 advance, $12 door.

8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org The Midnight Swinger 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

Saturday Night Movie with Ms. Kitty 8 p.m. Baylor School Student Center, 171 Baylor School Rd. (423) 267-8505.

Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday

Southern Trophy Hunters’ Big Buck Expo 10 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Full Moon Tattoo & Horror Festival 11 a.m. Chattanooga Downtown Marriott Hotel, 2 Carter Plaza. www.fullmooninc.net This Ain’t Your Mama’s Wedding & Party Expo 11 a.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St.

ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar

SATURDAY

Ghosts

Henrik Ibsen’s provocative classic. $10 2 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union St. Shamrock City Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675.

Howard International Debate Noon. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus 2 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. (423) 266-6627. www.ringling.com A Year With Frog and Toad 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com LA Phil LIVE 4 p.m. Regal Cinemas 10-17, 2000 Hamilton Pl. (800) 326-3264.

Ghosts 6:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.

Auditions: The Women 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Symphony Orchestra Concert 7:30 p.m. Southern Adventist University, 4881 Taylor Cir. Collegedale. (800) 768-8437.

SUNDAY

The Midnight Swinger 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Monday

Auditions: The Women 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Tuesday

Chattanooga Shoe Shoe 11:30 a.m. The Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 Broad St. (423) 624-6144.

Classic 150’s Second Annual Roast/ Toast 6 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-2211. www.gomocs.com Songwriter’s Line-up 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.

A Chorus Line 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov

Wednesday

Chattanooga Business EXPO 9:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com The Lake Trio Lecture Recital 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3383.

Gordon Lightfoot in Concert 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 752-4449.

Speak Easy: Spoken Word and Poetry 8 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. www.facebook.com/theofficechatt

Ongoing

“Heirloom” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Whispers” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

“Skies” by the North Georgia Sky Painters Society North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102.

(423) 870-8924.

“Living Daylights” Cress Gallery of Art, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4600. www.utc.edu “Early Flight” Boyd Gallery, The McCallie School, 500 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-8300.

“Journey” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com “Take Art/Leave Art” AVA, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org “Needleworks, Cultural and Contemporary” (thru 3/10) Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchattanooga.com “From Africa to America” Mosaic Gallery, 412 Market St. (423) 320-67638.

“Wrapped in Pride” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd.

(423) 266-8658.

LA Phil LIVE

Concert performance of Tchaikovsky, conducted

by Gustavo Dudamel, broadcast live from Los Angeles. $20 5 p.m.

Hamilton Place 10-17 2000 Hamilton Blvd.

(423) 855-5951. www.laphil.com/laphillive “Jellies: Living Art” 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944.

“Good for You: Healthy Fun on the Run” Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org “Loïs Mailou Jones: A Life in Vibrant Color” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944.

“Bokeh & Zen” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214. www.intowngallery.com “Exchange” Tanner-Hill Art Gallery, 3069 South Broad St. (423) 280-7182. www.tannerhillgallery.com Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Hubble 3D IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

FOOD

Dining Out

Out of the Blue is Out of This World

By D.E.Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer

F

or the past ten years now, Out of the Blue Café and Kites has filled two unique niches within the local business community, one evidenced more clearly than the other by the name. The first, and more easily deduced, is that of a specialty kite store—something that owner Peggy Roselle couldn’t find when she relocated here from Albuquerque, New Mexico, some years back.

Quite the enthusiast, she decided to solve that problem by opening her own. Out of the Blue deals in the full range of kites, from ones perfect for young children to dual-line sport and stunt kites, and everything in between. They also do special orders if customers need something specific they don’t have in stock.

The second niche they fill might not be guessed with a cursory glance. At first, Peggy operated a coffee shop alongside her kites. Though the name has stayed the same, the scope of the Café’s selections has expanded considerably since that time, and now encompasses a selection of Southwestern-inflected, homemade-style favorites.

I recently tried a range of their offerings, from some of their more wellknown, to a few of the daily specials.

Among those better-known dishes was The Traditional Sampler, a plate graced by generous portions of their chicken salad and pasta salad alongside a slice of quiche, all served atop mixed greens with fruit and bread made in house.

Both the chicken and pasta salads were much lighter than their stereotypical versions, with a freshness that typifies Out of the Blue’s food. The

warm, smoothly textured quiche contributed a savory aspect to the plate without feeling heavy.

Their Famous Raspberry Tea was a revelation as an accompaniment.

The daily specials lived up to their name. Mondays mean Out of the Blue is serving up Shrimp, Sausage, and Chicken Gumbo, Tuesday brings Beef Pot Roast with Mashed Potatoes, and Wednesday’s special is an enormous Chicken Pot Pie. A Thursday visit can entail New Mexico Green Chile Chicken Enchiladas, and Friday’s feature is a Chicken Pecan Quiche plate.

I’ve now tried three of the five. The pot roast and mash simply screamed “homemade,” and the pastry atop the pot pie was exactly what I’d hoped for.

The enchiladas are breathtaking.

The specials change from time to time, and Peggy won’t whip up these enchiladas if she can’t get New Mexico green chiles. You’ll know why when you take your first bite.

Out of the Blue also makes a wide range of sandwiches and wraps, covering everything from their creamy pimento cheese served atop a croissant to the Santa Fe, a jalapeno cheese wrap filled with smoked turkey, spicy mayo, and a load of fresh veggies.

Salads of all sorts are also on offer, including an unprecedented choice with mango and black beans.

I would be remiss if I forgot to mention their desserts, made, like so much else, in the restaurant itself. Their award-winning cookies (among others) are always on of-

fer, as are the longed-after Lemon Bars. Daily offerings vary, but include their Honey Apple Cake with Caramel Sauce (also an award winner) and a truly phenomenal Key Lime Pie that blew my socks off.

Sundays now feature a Brunch Buffet that includes a variety of quiches, various breakfast casseroles, fruit and pastries, all for $8.50 including a drink, which is a steal for homemade taste without the work, especially on one’s off day.

Out of the Blue also has a meeting space that seats 60, and is free to use—Peggy even opens it up after normal business hours when needed. Even if you’ve already scheduled an event elsewhere, you can have Out of the Blue’s delicious offerings nonetheless—they also cater!

All of this, coupled with Out of the Blue’s unique décor and function as a kite shop, make for a marvelous place to have a nice, relaxed lunch, whether with friends, colleagues, and especially the family (your children will, as I did, marvel at some of the kites displayed). A visit alone shouldn’t be discouraged either—available wireless Internet and a cozy nook perfect for having a quiet read are both enticing, though you could easily entertain yourself gawking at the desserts and conversing with the friendly staff that is as relaxed as the ambience.

Out of the Blue Café and Kites, 3230 Brainerd Rd. Open Tuesday through Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Saturday through Monday, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. (423) 698-7883 or check out www.ootbcafeandkites.com for more info.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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WINE & SPIRITS

Riley's Spirits Within

The Roots of Rootbeer Liqueur

By Joshua Hurley, Riley's Wine & Spirits Remember last week when we learned that flavored vodka was a new phenomenon?

Well, the same can’t be said for liqueurs, which for centuries have been known as the original flavored alcoholic beverages. What’s your fancy? Hey, believe me, anything goes: cherry, orange, apple, pear, banana, blackberry, black cherry–and now even rootbeer!

Yes, that’s right, and it’s perfect for shots and mixed drinks, and even better, it’s this week’s “Great Buy”.

Great Buys are included in my weekly column, brought to you by Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson (Chattanooga’s favorite place to shop for adult beverages), in which we pick something special from a large selection of wine and spirits from around the globe, then share it with Chattanooga’s readership of The Pulse. This week’s selection is Black Maker Rootbeer Liqueur.

Alcoholic beverages known as liqueurs have been around for centuries, and were once used as medicines by the healers known as apothecaries during Roman times.

During the Middle Ages, liqueurs were toasted as a symbol of peace.

Liqueurs are made by the infusion of such key ingredients as flowers, herbs, fruits and spices into water and/or alcohol along with the key ingredient of sugar.

This separates liqueurs from spirits, which have no added sugar whether flavored or not. Once all of these ingredients are combined together, they are aged for a short period of time.

Along with apothecaries, “Black Makers” were medicine men who lived like hermits in the hills and forests of the White Mountains, a scenic

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

mountain range located in the Alaskan Yukon Territory, which stands some 3,100 feet sandwiched between Beaver and Preacher Creeks.

Prospectors, looking for gold, gave the mountain this name because of its abundance of white limestone.

Black Makers were somewhat elderly, self-taught herbalists not known for their social graces, but more so for their healing concoctions sold in nearby village general stores.

Black Maker Rootbeer Liqueur is made much like those ancient recipes of yore, with a clear neutral spirit for starters, which is then infused with wintergreen, nutmeg, cinnamon, clove, ginger, anise, sweet birch, and of course, sugar.

Once infused, it sits while all the ingredients marry together.

After all, the Latin word for liqueur is “liqui facere,” which means “to liquefy”. The results are, dare I say, spectacular, just like rootbeer candy on the taste buds, followed by a creamy cola-like aftertaste with little or no burn or bite. This liqueur is 70 proof.

Try it today for whatever ails you at Riley’s: regular price $21.99—Riley’s price $16.99 plus tax. Cheers!

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

ENTERTAINMENT

Across 1 Graffiti artist who didn’t win a 2011 Oscar (which made the identity-reveal speculation a non-event) 7 “I Can Haz Cheezburger?” critter 13 Treat as the same 14 Person forced out of a country 16 Marathon participant 17 Nickname for a standoffish woman 18 His job is stealth 19 Bartlett’s attrib.

20 Suffix for sex or absurd 21 2007 coin with a peregrine falcon on it 25 Yukon XL manufacturer 28 ___ Kippur 29 Seasoned guy 30 Shape of some baking pans 32 Little refresher 34 Frappuccino flavor 38 It’s hidden (but sug-

Jonesin' Crossword & Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology

gested) in job interviews 42 Foundation 43 They’re parked in parks 44 Laurel of Laurel & Hardy 45 “The Legend of Zelda” console, for short 47 Abu Dhabi’s country, for short 49 Prefix with skeleton 50 Clarity measured in digital photos 56 Money source for the disabled: abbr.

57 Forearm bone 58 Designation of some meat markets 62 “How nice and peaceful!”

65 ___ oil 66 Packet near a soup bowl 67 Historical records 68 Turns back to 00000 69 One of Mars’s moons

Down 1 Swiss capital 2 Here in Mexico 3 Former senator Sam 4 Pictogram system in Japanese writing 5 Stable 6 “___ darn tootin’!”

7 ___ Sportif 8 Become less reserved 9 Latin abbr. meaning “he/she speaks” 10 Hero of the 1986 BMX movie “Rad” 11 Bit the dust 12 Actress/burlesque artist Dita von ___ 14 Wilma and Pebbles’ pet 15 ___’acte 19 Sportscaster Rashad 22 Top of the line 23 Gives guns to 24 LeVar Burton miniseries 25 Silver-tongued 26 NYC art center 27 Sign of shouting?

31 Side adventure 33 O followers

35 Use as a reference 36 Spam content, often 37 The A of A.D. 39 “Gotcha” 40 Body part that dangles 41 Morales of “NYPD Blue” 46 Narrow in the light 48 Natural gas component 50 Egyptian fertility goddess 51 Red astronomical body 52 Frozen food or cereal, e.g.

53 “___ Gold” (1997 Peter Fonda film) 54 Insects that can become “zombies” via different fungi 55 One-named Greek 59 Rich soil 60 French greeting 61 Scottish girl 63 Gal. divisions 64 180, casually 65 Knave

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Your meditation for this week comes from writer H. P. Lovecraft. “What a man does for pay is of little significance. What he is, as a sensitive instrument responsive to the world’s beauty, is everything!” While that’s always good counsel, I think it’s especially apt for you right now. You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when you’d be smart to evaluate your own worth based less on what job you do and more on who you are. Practice thinking this healing idea: The soulfulness you embody and express from moment to moment is the single greatest measure of your success as a human being.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Despite the wealth and renown he has accumulated during his influential career, musician Brian Eno is a big fan of raw simplicity. Speaking about R&B, soul music, and psychedelia, he said, “These earlier eras of pop music were characterized not by the search for perfection but by bizarre enthusiasms, small budgets, erratic technique, crummy equipment, and wild abandon.” Would you consider playing with that approach in the coming weeks, Scorpio? It’s not necessarily something you should do all the time, but right now I suspect it’s a formula for the most interesting kind of success.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of my favorite peculiarities about the English language is the idiosyncratic words it uses to characterize groups of specific animals.

For example, the correct term for many owls gathered together is not “flock” but “parliament”: a “parliament of owls.” Likewise, we say a “rabble of butterflies,” a “prickle of hedgehogs,” a “shrewdness of apes,” and a “murder of crows.” If I had to come up with a comparable term for the human members of your tribe, it might be something like a “zeal of Geminis” or a “charm of Geminis” or a “romp of Geminis” or an “exaltation of Geminis.” All those words capture part of the glory that will be you, especially for the next few weeks.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Research Digest Blog asked eminent psychologists to write about the theme “one nagging thing you still don’t understand about yourself.” One expert wondered why he always overestimates how much work he can get done. Another pondered the fact that he falls prey to his own irrational biases even though he’s well aware he has them.

A third said he can’t fathom why it’s so easy for him to learn some things and so hard to learn others. What would your answer be, Sagittarius? This is an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to see if you can get to the bottom of a truth about yourself that has always eluded you. (To read the story, go here: http://tinyurl. com/DontKnowYet.)

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The roots of the lotus are anchored in muck at the pond’s bottom. Its leaves float on the water and its dramatic flower rises above on a thick stem. It’s an evocative plant that is featured in many ancient myths. For Buddhists, it was an emblem of enlightenment: beauty ascending from the mud. In India, a thousand-petaled golden lotus symbolized the miracle of creation. To the Egyptians, it represented rebirth. Even modern science has contributed to building the mystique of the lotus, having determined that its seeds can remain viable for many centuries. It’s not a fragile marvel! In the 16th-century Chinese folk tale “Monkey,” a teacher instructed the hero on how to achieve a long life. “Even amidst fierce flames,” he said, “the Golden Lotus can be planted.” For the foreseeable future, Cancerian, the lotus is your power object.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Picture a very complicated combination lock, one that requires dialing up eight different numbers to open,” writes Arianna Huffington.

“You have seven of the numbers, but the lock still won’t open until you hit upon that final number. One-eighth may not seem as ‘big’ as seven-eighths, but without the final click of the combination, the tumblers won’t fall into place.” Sound familiar, Leo? In my astrological opinion, you have dialed up the first seven numbers but you don’t know what the eighth is yet; until you discover it, the lock will stay closed. Where should you look for the missing info? It’s now within your reach, and it wasn’t before.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming week, it’s very important that you stay out of other people’s hells— even if they invite you in with a big welcome, and even if you’re tempted to join them there in their infernos as a misguided way of proving your love. Be compassionate, Virgo, but don’t be manipulated or foolish.

The best thing you can do to help others is to cultivate your own mental health with ingenuity, trusting in its radiant power to heal by example.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Two paradoxes are better than one,” said physicist Edward Teller. “They may even suggest a solution.” I hope this gives you a glimmer of appreciation for the sparkling contradictions you’re surrounded by, Libra. It would be understandable if up until today you felt they were crazy-making stressors that served no good purpose. But now maybe you will be motivated to stand on your head, cross your eyes, Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, and try to see how the tangy riddles might actually be 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0510. used to untangle each other.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I suspect that you will either be spectacularly right or breathtakingly wrong in the coming days. Which way it goes will all depend on whether you’re observing and responding to the actual events unfolding in front of you or else are more focused on the images dancing around in your imagination. Of course it’s always a good idea to get your biases and projections out of the way so you can see life as it really is, but it’s especially crucial now. So much is contingent upon your ability to be acutely perceptive and crisply objective.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the old fairy tale, the character known as Rumpelstiltskin had the power to spin straw into gold. That skill has a metaphorical resemblance to the wizardry you could pull off in the coming weeks: transforming seemingly ordinary or worthless stuff into a valuable asset. Although your work might seem a bit miraculous and make some people wonder if you’ve used hocus-pocus, the fact is that it may at times feel tedious or extremely demanding to you. Be gutsy in your mastery of the intricate details, Aquarius.

I’ll be thinking of you as the Gritty Magician.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Good things may come to those who wait—but they’re mostly just the things left behind by those who hustle and bustle.” That message was in the fortune cookie I got with my Chinese take-out food tonight. It happens to be a perfect fit for your current astrological omens, so I’m handing it over to you. In the coming week, I don’t recommend that you sit around patiently and watch how the trends ripen. I don’t think you should bide your time or be cautious in making a commitment. Be proactive, Pisces— maybe even gung ho. Carpe the freaking diem.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Dear Mr. Astrologer: Like the god Prometheus, I stole fire from the gods and gave it to people who sometimes make awful use of it.

As punishment, the gods chained me to a rock on the beach, and arranged for an eagle to come daily to eat my liver. Luckily, the liver grows back every night. Unluckily, the eagle always returns to devour it again. I’m used to it by now; it doesn’t hurt as much as it once did.

But I’m still eager to get out of my predicament. Any suggestions? Aries in Limbo.” Dear Aries: Your rescue is scheduled for no later than your birthday, possibly before. In the meantime, the best thing you can do to prepare for your release is to feel gratitude for all you’ve learned during your ordeal.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Ask A Mexican

Taking Back Texas Dear Mexican, When the Second World War ended, the Germans and Japanese had to return all territories they had acquired by force. The U.S. acquired most of the West by force from Mexico, due to the war with Mexico. Agreed the U.S. won the war with Mexico, but did that make it right? I do not think, so why does Mexico not go to the World Court and sue? I know the U.S. won’t acquiesce if it were to lose, but at least the taking of Mexican territory would be branded an illegal act. I know to some, this will sound un-American, but I think it is totally American—it’s called righting a wrong. I was born in Alabama, a state that knows a lot about being un-American (remember the Civil War?), raised in Virginia, another state that knows a lot about being un-American (again, the Civil War), and Washington D.C. whose citizens have less rights than other Americans. My heritage is English-Irish, so the only axe I have to grind is to see to it my country commits as few wrongs as possible.

— Bob

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Dear Beto, I like your thinking! Alas, it wouldn’t fly— although the Mexican-American War was a blatant imperial land grab, the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo was an official document that ended the war. Signed under duress, yes, but nevertheless relatively ironclad.

Besides, the United States considers the International Court of Justice a clown court (as you correctly note) whose issued opinions mean mierda if they go against the Stars and Stripes—see 1984’s Nicaragua vs. United States, where the court correctly ruled the United States illegally supported the Contras, only to have Reagan consider the decision as meaningful as striking air-traffic controllers. Finally, why bother with legal systems when demographic reality is doing it for us? Didja hear that former U.S. Census director Steve Murdoch recently studied the population trends of Texas and told the state’s House of Representatives’ Mexican American Legislative Caucus, “Basically, it’s over for Anglos in Texas”? That’s the future, folks: the end of the gabacho race, and the Mexican says it’s a good thing—not so much for Reconquista purposes, but because that just means more intermarriage will happen and finish our racialist games once and for The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 10 | March 10, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Gustavo Arellano all. Because nothing stops racism like a hot mamacita or a cute, fecund gabacha.

Dear Mexican, I have a few online gal pals. The ones who are Mexicans have an affinity for composing mail in ALL CAPS. It doesn’t particularly annoy me; I just wondered if there is a cultural significance behind this larger-than-life correspondence style.

— Curioso Amarillo Dear Curious Yellow, Because they are LOUD. Funny thing is that the Spanish language generally capitalizes words less than English, so we can’t blame the all-caps on their Mexi side, for once, or for the fact that sOmE wRiTe lIkEa tHiS. GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! Most of you know Lalo Alcaraz, the nationally syndicated cartoonist behind the comic strip, La Cucaracha (and if you don’t know him, think of Alcaraz as Gary Trudeau meets Aaron McGruder meets the end of a tequila bottle).

But this plug is for his Twitter account, one of the better stream-of-consciousness experiments out there. Better yet? Unlike other funnymen, Alcaraz responds to EVERYTHING—especially nasty remarks, which makes him even more chistoso. Follow the carbon at twitter.com/laloalcaraz, or find him online at pocho.com Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube. com/askamexicano!

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 10, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 10 | The Pulse

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