The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 13 by Brewer Media Group

FREE • NEWS, VIEWS, MUSIC, FILM, ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • MARCH 31, 2011 • VOLUME 8, ISSUE 13 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

PULSE BEATS SHRINK RAP ON THE BEAT LIFE IN THE NOOG ASK A MEXICAN

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VOLUME 8, ISSUE 13 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“Forgiving yourself can be a tough one, but it holds the key to peace of mind. Remember: You’re not perfect. You never will be. And that isn’t the goal, anyway.”

— Dr. Rick on the key to emotional success.

“Companies can’t be indifferent to how people respond to them…Those enterprises which make use of such opportunities will lead the field.”

— Dr. Gerhard Prätorius, VW's head of Corporate Social Responsibility and Sustainability.

“Who on earth decided that boiling, scrambling or frying up a chicken embryo might go well with ground-up hog meat sausage?”

— Chuck Crowder on late-night musings while fighting insomnia.

“As far as I can tell, it wants to appeal to fanboys, comicbook geeks, and video gamers that have absolutely no concept of depth and beauty.”

— Film Critic John DeVore on Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

NEWS Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Jaye Brewer, Rick Leavell Michelle Pih Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Leanne Strickland Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Pulse Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder, John DeVore Rick Pimental-Habib, PhD Janis Hashe, Joshua Hurley Matt Jones, Phillip Johnston Josh Lang, D.E. Langley Kelly Lockhart, Ernie Paik Alex Teach, Tarea V Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 300 words in length. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

Pulse Beats

"Q"

“We are tired of these shootings. We want the family members, mommas and daddies to talk to these kids and tell them this ain’t the way it’s supposed to happen.”

Palate 2 Pallete Shows Off Local High School Art

— Radio personality and former police officer Napoleon “Donut” Williams speaking out about the recent youth violence.

The Craniofacial Foundation of America is pleased to announce that the 2011 Youth Gallery, part of the annual fundraiser Palate 2 Palette, will include 16 area high school students’ artwork. Each school submitted artwork from interested students, and after a judges’ panel of local artists juried the exhibit, almost 200 pieces will stay in the gallery on display for the weekend of Palate 2 Palette. This Friday night, at 7 p.m., the event will kick off with an art reception at the Youth Gallery, featuring a “Mad Hatter” theme pulled from the classic story Alice in Wonderland. The Youth Gallery will exhibit 2-D and 3-D artwork inside the 1601 Gallery, located at 1601 Rossville Avenue. Selected pieces of artwork will be for sale. Student artists are donating 10 percent of the proceeds to the CFA. Tickets to the art reception are $2 for students, $5 for adults. Food and beverages will be provided by Broad Street Grille. The Youth Gallery is sponsored by Tennessee Valley Credit Union. It will remain open Saturday as part of the Palate 2 Palette tour of art galleries.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Saturday, from 5 - 8 p.m., the Palate 2 Palette event continues and will feature fine art, culinary art, floral art and the performing arts. Ten Southside galleries and business locations will be paired with an artist, a chef/restaurant, florist/designer and wine sponsor. Guests will stroll among the locations, meeting featured artists, viewing the art, and enjoying the fine cuisine. Free valet parking will be available. Following the stroll, the annual Bubbles & Sweets afterparty, sponsored by Volkswagen Group of America Chattanooga Operations, will kick off at Loose Cannon with dancing and many fun surprises in store. Proceeds from the event benefit the Craniofacial Foundation of America (CFA). The CFA is a nonprofit organization that supports the work of the Tennessee Craniofacial Center at Children’s Hospital at Erlanger and Erlanger Health Systems. The Foundation is dedicated to creating better tomorrows for patients with facial birth defects, tumors and trauma-related injuries. The CFA assists patients from across the United States and is led by Medical Director Dr. Larry Sargent. Tickets available at www.p2pchattanooga.com

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, April 5 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

7. Resolutions: i) A resolution approving the acceptance of the Shelter Plus Care (SPC) Renewal Grant TN0010C4J001003 from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) in the amount of $201,936.00 and approval for the Administrator of the Department of Neighborhood Services and Community Development to enter into agreements with the following organizations to provide rental assistance for homeless persons with disabilities: Fortwood Center, Inc.; Chattanooga Cares; The AIM Center, Inc.; and Volunteer Behavioral Health System d/b/a Joseph W. Johnson, Jr. Mental Health Center, Inc.

The issue of homelessness in the city often falls under the media radar, except when weather is very bad or someone is running for office. So it’s nice to see that the city has been proactive in looking for federal grant money to help those in need here at home. The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

NEWS

Commentary

Happy About Mobile Food Loved the article [“Keep On Food Truckin’” Beyond The Headlines] and love the concept. I am definitely going to follow them on Facebook and since I work at Memorial Hospital I hope they can show us some love and set up in our parking lot sometime soon, so we can get some good food at last. Keep on truckin’, indeed. Shana Patten Not Pleased With The Mayor Does Mayor Littlefield have something against the city police officers? From his actions over the past several years, you would think one of them had run over his dog or insulted his wife. There really isn’t any other rational explanation for his actions that have directly imperiled our public safety. Between the low pay, dangerous levels of understaffing, petty actions about take home cars, and a complete myopia about the very real gang issues in town, it’s no wonder our officers have no respect for the current administration. What will it take for someone in City Hall to wake up and realize they are playing games with our safety. Want to solve the police budget problems? It’s simple—get rid of the ridiculous “Arts & Education” department and that alone would pay for plenty of cars as well as some raises. It all comes down to priorities, something that Mayor Littlefield seems to have completely out of whack. Donald Patterson

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

Angry About Government Subsidies I resent being plundered by the feds to subsidize someone else’s business (ethanol, charging stations etc). It’s theft. If the technology is feasible and competitive in the market place let private businesses go after it. I oppose all subsidies that float unfeasible or unaffordable technologies no matter how good they sound. This system of subsidies smacks of Soviet-style planned economy where

businesses are set up in advance for friends of the subsidy-creators who then receive this largesse, a.k.a. graft, finally kicking-back a little. It’s all unconstitutional anyway, and for a reason: to protect us. So much of this stuff is promoted on plausibilities based on fallacies and falls under the category of redistribution of wealth. For instance, if we had to heat and cool our home on wind or solar it would take every penny you could make, and then some. As my late father used to say “It’ll put us in the poor-house”. The cost of “alternative energy” sources is between 4 and 10 times that of what we use now. With subsidies we pay up front and on the back end with less efficiency and higher costs. There is an indelicate slang for this phenomenon. We are being seduced down the primrose path to a utopian collective mirage by dubious politically motivated charlatans. R.P. Sefcik Curious About The Mexican I read the “Ask A Mexican” column fairly regularly, and wonder if the writer [Gustavo Arellano] is really Mexican. Andrew Lattimore Gustavo responds – “I was born in Anaheim, California, to a tomato canner and an illegal Mexican immigrant. I also mow lawns for $15—$10 if I get a water break.” www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

NEWS

The Police Blotter

A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night” might be the slogan of the U.S. Postal Service, but it also easily could be adopted by local law enforcement. The rainy weather did not hinder the efforts of a weekend saturation conducted by members of the Chattanooga Police Department and the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office. Addressing issues of recent violence in the city was the focus of the saturation, and results were very productive. More than a hundred people were arrested, nine of them on felony charges, and eight of them known gang members. In addition to the arrests, eight vehicles were seized, three guns were recovered, more than $2,200 in cash confiscated, and in excess of eight pounds of marijuana, along with several grams of crack, powder cocaine, methamphetamine and prescription pills, were taken off the hands of those who should have known better. Chattanooga Police Chief Bobby Dodd said saturation patrols will continue, as they have proved to be a very effective law-enforcement tool.

• One can always tell what are the “hot” electronic devices by how often they are stolen, as well as the lengths criminals go to to steal them. Case in point, Apple’s ubiquitous iPhone. Detectives in Dalton are searching for a pair of thieves who made off with the popular phone from a large retailer in their city. The two suspects, a man and woman, entered the store and were recorded walking back to the electronics department. The man used some sort of spring-loaded punch device to shatter the glass of the phone display. Once the glass was broken, the pair took four iPhones, valued at $599 each. They then left the store and drove off in a small blue compact car, possibly a Dodge Neon, which investigators believe may be from the New England area. Meaning that not only are the phones quite popular, but apparently The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

criminals are willing to come all way from Yankeeland to steal them. • When delivering anything on a regular basis, it is generally accepted that one should not rummage through people’s mailboxes. Yet that is just what one deliveryman is accused of doing. A routine call on a possible theft for Hamilton County deputy Mickey Rountree ended up with the arrest of a man on numerous charges of forgery. The deputy, who has been described by his superiors as “tenacious” (a good description for any officer) followed up a theft report from a mailbox in Hixson and did not let the case go until he had a suspect in custody. Rountree found that the suspect forged his name on checks stolen from several mailboxes, then altered them to be payable to him. When the man was tracked down, he attempted to draw police away from the residence by placing a false 911 call of a disorder with a weapon at a nearby house. Fortunately, his attempt to elude police did not work, as officers found him hiding underneath the sink in the kitchen. • Poker is fun to watch on TV and play in places like Cherokee, Tunica and Las Vegas. Brainerd Road, however, is not a place where poker is acceptable. Or legal, for that matter. Officers became suspicious that something was going on at a small business on Brainerd Road because of the heavy amount of foot traffic going in and out of the building. They were able to get a search warrant and when they arrived, they found a full-fledged gambling operation in action. Twenty-three people were arrested, and officers seized $3,810 in cash, along with a large amount of gambling paraphernalia, as well as three flat-screen televisions and a surveillance camera during the raid. Apparently none of the people followed the sage advice of Kenny Rogers about when to fold ’em and walk away.

OPINION

Beyond The Headlines

Can You Create a Company in 48 Hours? By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor

ave you got a million-dollar idea for a startup company—and just need a little cash and a few people to believe in you? Then the upcoming 48Launch is for you. This now-annual event, created by The Company Lab and Delegator.com, brings creative and entrepreneurial people together for an intense weekend of building technology-based start-ups. This year’s participants have the opportunity to take home a $5,000 cash prize. The Company Lab was founded to help increase the viability of start-ups in Chattanooga by connecting them with needed resources they need. Delegator.com was founded by a team of successful entrepreneurs. Delegator manages critical on-demand business services like SEO, PPC advertising, social media, local search, web development, video production, ecommerce and web analytics. Its mission is to help growing companies focus on their mission, and “confidently delegate the rest.” “Calling all entrepreneurs—this is for you,”

so 48Hour Launch is your chance,” he says. “Delegator is proud to help you get it done, since we were founded, along with partners 48Hour Launch and The Company Lab, to help companies launch, grow and thrive.” Before the 48Hour Launch, The Company Lab will host a “Pitch Night” on April 1 at 6 p.m., where entrepreneurs can “gather, present their ideas, and begin assembling teams. “It’s a chance for participants pitching concepts to hear feedback from fellow participants,” says Sheldon Grizzle, founder of The Company Lab. “This allows them a full week before the event to research the market and feasibility, build teams, and create momentum, which will be important if they want to be in the running for the $5,000.” The weekend-long event will begin on April 8

“The best way to start your company is to go ahead and get started, so 48Hour Launch is your chance.” says Stephen Culp, CEO of Delegator.com and founder of SmartFurniture.com. “The best way to start your company is to go ahead and get started,

at 6 p.m. Teams will collaborate around the clock to create working prototypes of their products, fueled by local coffee, food and beer vendors. Then on Sunday, April 10 at 6 p.m, the teams will gather to present demos of their prototypes to the public and to the judges to determine the winning project. BaseCamp Chattanooga, in the former Southside YMCA building on Mitchell Avenue, currently being renovated, will serve as the meeting place for 48Hour Launch. According to its founders, BaseCamp immediately recognized the opportunity to assist entrepreneurs in Chattanooga. “It’s nothing but a plus for us,” said Ken Ivey, general manager for the project. “We’re really excited about it.” Visit www.colab.is to learn more about The Company Lab and 48Hour Launch.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

OPINION

Shrink Rap

And Then We Stumble... H

ow OK are you with mistakes? Small ones, big ones, life-altering ones. Are you OK only if nobody notices? Are you riddled with guilt if your missteps affect others? Do you beat yourself up? I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t strive for our best. In fact, in this column you’ve often read of the importance of living your highest self, of designing your life the best way you know how, and of approaching the journey with all its twists and turns as a positive influence on others, uplifting yourself as well as humanity, one little step at a time. OK, all good. Lofty, perhaps, but why else are we here? What I am asking is: Where lies the compassion for your own human frailties along this journey? Where is the love you feel toward yourself, not only when you’re on top of your game, achieving what you want and being who you wish to be, but when you stumble? Because we all stumble. We might be rolling along just fine— and then…we might break the law. We might get into trouble in some way, get drunk, get pregnant, get caught. We might weaken under the pressure of crisis. Or just everyday stress. We might confuse a minor mess with a major snafu. We might let others down, and we certainly let ourselves down. Why? Not because we’re trying to (at least not consciously). But because we’re human—because we aren’t perfect. Ah, perfection. The thing about perfection is, it doesn’t exist. Certainly not in human nature. Or, one could say that perfection lies in the imperfection of things. One of my favorite sayings is, “Even in a state of crisis, everything is perfect. We make it so by adjusting

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Dr. Rick

to things as they are, then uplifting the circumstances with compassion.” (author unknown). So if you, like many, were raised to always get that “A” in everything you attempt, then as an adult you might achieve great success. And if so, good for you! But you also run all sorts of psychological and emotional risks: The risk of not seeing mistakes as valuable, as the holder of lessons to be learned. The risk of continual disappointment with yourself for perceived failures, and the ongoing accompaniment of anxiety and depression. The risk of judging others too harshly, without compassion, because you’re so good at doing this same thing to yourself. And the risk of conditioning your self-esteem to become reliant upon perfect success, and nothing short of that. Mediocrity? Biiig problem. Here are my suggestions for being more patient with yourself, sweeter to your soul: • When those red flags go up because you’re about to chastise yourself, you’re about to jump all over your own back for a mistake, an error in judgment, a misstep in life—push the pause button. Take a breath. And ask for your best wisdom and common sense to come

OPINION

Shrink Rap

to your aid, so that you can accurately see yourself, in context, and see your stumble as part of the big, lessonfilled picture of life. • Ask for your best compassion to arise, and work on giving yourself permission to forgive. Forgiving yourself can be a tough one, but it holds the key to peace of mind. Remember: You’re not perfect. You never will be. And that isn’t the goal, anyway. • Ask for your heart to give you a break, and to let you know loving kindness toward yourself. You may be in quite a pickle; you may have hurt others and need to take responsibility for that. You’ll approach your amends with genuine kindness if you first practice that with yourself.

gift of compassion. Today, let’s practice compassion with ourselves. Let us not carry the weight of our past mistakes in the forefront of our minds, but instead give ourselves the gift of a fresh start to this brand new, never before lived, baby day.” Until next time: “Keep your melodramatic tendencies in check. It would be a big mistake to treat a small temporary detour as a permanent loss of momentum.” — astrologer Rob Brezsny

“Forgiving yourself can be a tough one, but it holds the key to peace of mind. Remember: You’re not perfect. You never will be. And that isn’t the goal, anyway.” Wisdom, compassion, and the great healer, love. It doesn’t get much better than that. I want to share with you a meditation from life coach and motivational speaker, Mary Morrissey: “What if, at any time we choose, we could have a clean slate—a brand new beginning? What if today when we looked in the mirror we saw our own innocence and purity? The gift of a fresh start is available to every one of us anytime we choose to receive it. It starts by giving ourselves the

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his web site at www.DrRPH.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

COVER STORY

2011 Eco Expo

Can businesses balance the desire for success (profit) with caring for the planet?

Corporate Social Responsibility Hot Topic at Eco Expo By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor

s businesses worldwide continue to grapple with the dueling concepts of “the business of business is business” as expressed by economist Milton Friedman, and “corporate social responsibility” as defined by other economists and thinkers, Volkswagen has emerged as a leader for the latter school of thought. One of the highlights of the April 7 Eco Expo at the Chattanooga Convention Center will be a speech by Dr. Gerhard Prätorius, who heads Corporate Social Responsibility and Sustainability for Volkswagen at its headquarters in Wolfsburg, Germany. Dr. Prätorius will speak at an 11:30 a.m. luncheon on the day of the event. As the co-author of VW’s highly regarded global sustainability reports, Dr. Prätorius is a leading advocate for performance measurement and public accountability. “Companies can’t be indifferent to how people respond to them,” he says. “Globalization today has become a driving force of efforts to protect our climate and preserve resources, of efforts to find sustainable solutions. Those enterprises which make use of such opportunities will lead the field.” At the World Without Walls conference in Berlin, November 2010, in a lecture called “The Importance of Corporate Social Responsibility for Peacebuilding and Reconciliation in the Globalized World”, Dr. Prätorius noted that corporate social responsibility (CSR), is “more than compliance…[it is] an active dialogue with society.” CSR is becoming a “new form of business governance” that is “competitively driven.” (Lecture available as a YouTube video) The members of Chattanooga’s newly renewed industrial landscape will actively be addressing the issues of CSR and sustainability and undoubtedly

Volkswagen will help lead the discussion. At the Future of Food conference in London, April 2010, Dr. Prätorius’s “Sustainability in mobility” presentation included key sustainability concepts embraced by VW today. “Volkswagen started moving towards sustainability years ago,” the event’s presentation report noted. “…The core element of sustainable automotive is increased fuel efficiency and the use of renewable energy sources. We already see an intensive innovation competition between different technological solutions. Volkswagen wants to offer a more sustainable way of mobility… “For Volkswagen, sustainability is a part of corporate culture…Volkswagen has also made sustainability a leading principle in process innovation with the ‘green factory’ concept. Volkswagen keeps investing in R&D to continue these developments… “In its CSR strategy, Volkswagen has moved from ‘classical’ philanthropy to integrating social responsibility into its core processes. For a global company, CSR is a strategic concept.” (Report of presentation available as PDF online) Tickets for the 11:30 a.m. luncheon include Expo admission, and are $35 in advance or $45 at the door. Corporate table sponsorships with priority seating are also available. Admission to the Expo only, open from 10 am to 7 pm, is $5. More complete information about luncheon reservations is available at www.chattanoogaecoexpo.com. Due to support by the Volkswagen Group of America, and sponsorship by Brewer Media, luncheon and admission proceeds will support the conservation mission of RiverRocks and its beneficiaries.

“Companies can’t be indifferent to how people respond to them…Those enterprises which make use of such opportunities will lead the field.”

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

COVER STORY

2011 Eco Expo

Sustainability Sleuths Roam Eco Expo E

ver thought about how much water is used in toilet flushes during a major convention? The movement to go green has caused WAP Sustainability Consulting, founded by William Paddock and Chattanoogan Brad McAllister in 2008, to think about just that—and a lot more. As Paddock explains, he had extensive experience doing sustainability studies for M&M/ Mars, traveling to plants in 26 states and advising them about corporate sustainability strategies. But, as he notes, “A company can set up, for example, a recycling strategy, but people are the ones who decide to throw things in the blue can or the black can.” WAP, therefore, was created with the idea that assisting corporations, municipalities and universities in developing sustainability plans could not be done using “a one-size-fits-all approach,” Paddock says. “One way of putting it is that we ask them to look at ‘Where we are now and where we can get better’,” he says.

a specific problem or helping develop a whole process.” In keeping with what he observed in his previous position, Paddock believes the key to a successful sustainability strategy is getting everyone concerned on board with it. “There’s often a gap between the board room and the shop floor,” he points out. “So what’s happening in the middle? We ask a lot of questions and figure out what’s happening. It’s amazing what people tell you.” WAP uses the information obtained from all levels to create a plan that appropriately represents the concerns of all those involved. And in the process, a lot of money can be saved. “Where we find carbon [use], we find cost,” Paddock says. “The point about profit is that people often start out with the goal of ‘we want to do better’ but in time that burns out. The best way is to see what [sustainable practices] can save you. Those changes in process

“We’ll measure the waste generated, the number of toilet flushes, the time spent washing hands, everything.” WAP clients come from the three sectors listed above, and the company focuses on the Southeast, particularly Tennessee, Georgia and Alabama, Paddock says. “We could be helping with

can lead to big savings.” WAP will be very visible on the floor of the Eco Expo, collecting data to show how big a carbon footprint a convention of this kind creates, and eventually making suggestions for carbon-emission offsets. “We’ll measure the waste generated, the number of toilet flushes, the time spent washing hands, everything,” he says. “Was food locally sourced? Can transportation to and from the convention be reduced?” A report will be generated that shows what transpired at the Expo and gives ideas for improvements and best practices. Isn’t what WAP does something like being a “sustainability detective”, investigating a situation and then deducing a solution? Paddock agrees with this notion. He notes that sustainability sleuthing has meant triple-digit growth for WAP in each year of the company’s existence and that it was named by the Nashville Chamber of Commerce as a “2010 Future 50 Company”. For more information, visit www.wapsustainability.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

COVER STORY

2011 Eco Expo

Pick a Way-a-Day to Combat Litter L

ots of ideas were tossed around—but a group meeting at a restaurant watching litter blow by outside inspired the final choice for the Leadership Chattanooga project CleanChatt, says group member Holly Ashley. “We decided to focus on litter reduction and awareness,” she explains. The group began by doing a lot of research, and came to the conclusion that many resources for dealing with litter already existed—and that a lot of people weren’t aware of them. “Scenic City Beautiful, for example, offers groups like neighborhood associations help in cleaning up their areas,” Ashley notes. “We decided not to reinvent the wheel, but instead to raise awareness of what is available to combat the problem.” The result is CleanChatt and its “30 Ways in 30 Days” campaign. Running for 30 days beginning April 1, the project will provide “one simple ‘way-a-day’ that can help anyone take action to prevent litter and improve the environment,” according to CleanChatt materials. The main delivery methods for the 30 ways will be through the CleanChatt web site, www.cleanchatt.com, and community outreach efforts, according to Ashley. These efforts will include a presence at the Eco Expo and school-based activities, she says. “For example, we’ll be visiting Calvin Donaldson Middle School, which is an environmental magnet school,” she says. “Although parents need to model not littering for their kids, children can teach parents, The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

too.” People visiting the web site can take the “30 Ways in 30 Days” challenge during the campaign and choose at least one “way-a-day” to take action on. “Whether it’s pledging not to throw that cigarette butt out the car window anymore, requesting less packaging with to-go food orders, or organizing your own litter pick-up, Chattanoogans can pledge to follow through on just one action item to make a real difference,” CleanChatt materials point out. Though Leadership Chattanooga projects are officially completed by the time each class graduates in May, many of the projects generated, such as CultureFest and Take Root, have gone on to have lives of their own. Ashley fully expects this will be the case with CleanChatt as well. “We’ll be handing the web site off to Scenic City Beautiful and they have plans for it—30 Ways in 30 Days could be done every year,” she says.

COVER STORY

2011 Eco Expo

First Look at a Piece of the Future Y

“Because electricity is an energy source, we are starting to measure fuel economy in terms of ‘cents per miles’ rather than ‘miles per gallon.’”

et again, skyhigh gasoline prices are causing Americans to re-examine their longtime love affair with gas-guzzlers. Chattanogans will have a chance to get a first look at another entry into the fuel-efficient derby— the plug-in hybrid Chevrolet Volt will be on display at the Eco Expo. In EV mode (battery powered), the Volt has an operating range of 35 miles. Upon switching to extended range (gasoline powered), a driver can cover 375 miles before having to fill up or plug in. The Volt was named Motor Trend magazine’s 2011 Car of the Year, and will be rolled out nationwide in summer 2011. (It is currently available

is six selected US markets.) Although the five-door hatchback will interface with publicly accessible charging stations in Tennessee, the Volt’s lithium-ion battery pack can be charged overnight by plugging into a 120-240VAC residential electrical outlet. “The Volt has been spotlighted at select auto shows and media events, but this is the first time it’s been seen in this market,” says Jim Frierson, Vice Chair of the Chattanooga Green Committee. Frierson notes that the Volt and

numerous other electric-drive models that will debut in the next couple of years represent “a whole new paradigm of driving, one that emphasizes grid connectivity.” He fully expects that Chattanooga’s “early adopters” will embrace the Volt, just as a number of them have the all-electric Nissan Leaf. “The advantages include reduced dependence on imported oil, improved air quality, and energy efficiency. Because electricity is an energy source, we are starting to measure fuel economy in terms of ‘cents per miles’ rather than ‘miles per gallon,’” he says. The Volt will be on view all day at the Expo, which is open from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. at the Convention Center. www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

MUSIC

Feature

No Rest for Music Lovers This Weekend By Tara V, Pulse Music Writer

The Distribution at JJ’s Bohemia

his Saturday, April 2, in Chattanooga is one that proves the old saying, “I wish there were three of me.” There are two big shows that I myself want to attend. This night will require that I either have a personal racecar driver take me back and forth throughout the night, obtain a TimeTurner from those Harry Potter kids down the road, or admit I can’t be everywhere, wail, and crawl into the fetal position. Of course, I have to get out of work first… But after a cold-but-sled-filled winter, I readily accept the challenge of running around town trying to do everything. It’s either the woman or overachiever in me. You decide.

Cage The Elephant at Rhythm & Brews

Local lovers will indulge in support of one of our hometown favorites at JJ’s Bohemia this Saturday night, now dubbed the Dance Party to Start Spring. The Distribution’s soul/ funk love began spreading not too long ago and has evolved and grown in our hearts, whether at a show or seeing its members out and about. Scratch Dent of ToneHarm will join the evening spinning tracks and Blair Crimmons and The Hookers will open up. Good Dog will be slinging those good dogs for our hungry dancers, and as it will be a groovin’ time, it will also be bittersweet. This will be their last show for a while, as the beautiful and talented Mary Higgins goes on voice rest. Her pipes have been blasting too much, so after developing nodules on her vocal chords, she will take a time of no singing, no yelling, and barely speaking in order to heal. movies and video games with appearances on My only hope is that she will still be able to David Letterman, and shows at events such as share her infectious laugh. As keyboardist Carl Lollapalooza, and the Outside Arts and Music Caldwell explained, “This hiatus is not ideal, but it Festival in San Francisco, as well as numerous is necessary. Hopefully it’ll be short, it could be as worldwide tour dates. short as six weeks. But it’s not all bad…” The group Cage the Elephant will stop by Chattanooga this will take this time to work on personal projects such Saturday and is a nod for larger acts of this nature as Carl’s Summer Dregs and hopefully be back just to play our city. They will hit up the Southeast in time for the sweaty summer heat. before heading to Paris, Germany, and beyond, until The Distribution is easily one of the best bands to ultimately visiting Japan, and then back to the UK come out of Chattanooga, uniting genre snobs and to play the Reading and Leeds Festivals. forcing everyone within earshot to, “Get up to get down.” We look forward to your return and, Mary, good luck. Cage The Elephant The Distribution Saturday, April 2 Saturday, April 2 As I beg for the night off, search for a 9 p.m. 10 p.m. designated driver and trade Magic the Rhythm & Brews, JJ’s Bohemia, Gathering Cards for Time-Turners in order to 221 Market St. 231 E. MLK Blvd. get out and about this weekend, I have one (423) 267-4644. (423) 266-1400. question for you… www.rhythm-brews.com www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia What are you doing this Saturday?

“This Saturday, April 2, is one that proves the old saying, ‘I wish there were three of me.’ ”

I have been excited about this show since word hit the streets—but surprised at the number of people not aware of the group. Cage The Elephant, out of Bowling Green, Kentucky, entered my top five of newer bands and elevated to my ringtone status only during the past year. Their style reminds you that true rock-n-roll spirit is not dead in this pop era, only fused and modernized. I was able to see them at Bonnaroo 2009 and was blown away by the energy of lead singer, Matt Schultz, as he seemed to walk across the crowd, kneeboarding and surfing as he went, not missing a beat. Their bio describes them as saviors of punkfunk rock and with their hit “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked” on their self-titled 2009 debut, the word “rest” is absolutely nowhere in sight for these young men. Relentless Records signed the band in 2007 after spotting them at South X Southwest. They then moved to London, England. Cage The Elephant’s music has been featured in

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

MUSIC

Concert Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

Exene Cervenka, Kevin Seconds, Sista Otis, Greenland Is Melting Don’t miss this chance to see one of punk’s pioneers. $6 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Thursday

Vinyl Night 6 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com McKay’s Road To Nightfall 7 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 2 21 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke 7 p.m. McHale's Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com Brian Head Welch, Decyfer Down, The Letter Black, The Wedding 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. The Camphouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Karaoke 7:30 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898. Exene Cervenka, Kevin Seconds, Sista Otis, Greenland is Melting 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Jonathan Wimpee The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook,com/theofficechatt Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Hung Jury 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Rejouissance, 40-oz Folklore, Worst Kept Secrets, Nosecone Projects 9 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 756-4786. www. facebook.com/ziggysunderground-music Blues Jam with Rick Rushing 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com DJ and Dancing 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Friday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Marshall Chapman 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse. 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org

The Mattoid, The Dirty Lungs, Casper & the Cookies, Wet Cadillac, & Heavens Basement 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Ashley and the X’s 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 756-4786. www.facebook.com/ziggysunderground-music Live Music 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Brody Johnson and the Dirt Road Band 9 p.m. The Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacousticcafe.com Ben Friberg Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundary at The Chattanoogan, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400. www.chattanooganhotel.com Brian Collins Band 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Amber Fults 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook,com/theofficechatt DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679. DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5005. www.thepalmshamilton.com Robby Jordan Band 9 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro,1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com

Marshall Chapman

Singer/songwriter just featured in Country Strong and had a great 2010 release. $10 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org

The Waters Brothers 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Appetite For Destruction: A Tribute to Guns N’ Roses 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke & Dancing 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com Bud Lightning 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Saturday

The Possum Hunters Bluegrass Band 10 a.m. Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0698. www.tnaqua.com Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

MUSIC

Concert Calendar

SATURDAY

Cage the Elephant, Biffy Clyro, Sleeper Agent Slacker funk-punk. $20 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202. (423) 499-5055. Strange Bedfellows 8 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392. www.bendbrewingbeer.com Roger Alan Wade 8 p.m. T-Bone’s, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com Foundation Band 8 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898. Live Music 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Old Faithful Moon 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Pea Ridge Ramblers 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Flibberty Gibbett 8 p.m. Snookers, 12130 Dayton Pk. Soddy-Daisy, TN. (423) 451-7636.

WEDNESDAY

Ben Friberg Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundary at The Chattanoogan, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400. www.chattanooganhotel.com Brian Collins Band 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Cody McCarver 9 p.m. The Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacousticcafe.com Mother Of Pearl 9 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro,1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart's Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5005. Cage The Elephant With Biffy Clyro And Sleeper Agent 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. The Distribution, Blair Crimmons and the Hookers 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. Bud Lightning 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Sunday

Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. myspace.com/debbieslounge

Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Monday

Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Live DJ – Karaoke 8 p.m. Barts Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com.

Tuesday

Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Slim Pickins 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Karaoke 8 p.m. Magoo’s Restaurant, 3658 Ringgold Rd. (423) 867-1351. Crossfade with Mighty Sideshow 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com.

Arpetrio

Live-electronic sensation. $5 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Wednesday

Galactic Cowboy Orchestra 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. DJ Spins Karaoke 9 p.m. Bart's Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Scott Warren and the Booze Mountaineers 9 p.m. The Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacousticcafe.com Channing Wilson 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. Leticia Wolf With Stephen Simmons 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Got a gig coming up that you want to tell the world about? Email the particulars to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com at least ten days before the event. www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

MUSIC

Ernie Paik's New Music Reviews

Brave Irene Brave Irene

(Slumberland)

“Melberg is back with a new fivepiece all-female band, Brave Irene, to show the kids how it’s done.”

Rose Melberg epitomizes the best things about American indie-pop in the ’90s, having a clear-as-a-bell, heart-melting voice, a knack for shaping memorable melodies, and a youthfulness without being simpleminded. In the wake of British C86 pop bands and American twee-pop groups like Beat Happening, Melberg co-founded the beloved all-woman quartet Tiger Trap nearly two decades ago, which had a modestly sized yet potent catalog of stirring powerpop. Joined by Jen Sbragia in the duo The Softies, Melberg simplified the formula, with just two guitars and two voices, gingerly delivering love songs that alternated between sweet and bittersweet (It’s Love from 1995 is practically flawless and the best place to start). In the last dozen years or so, Melberg stripped down the recipes even further with much of her solo material, often concentrating just on her voice and a guitar to engage the listener. Now that the ’90s indie-pop revival is in full swing, Melberg is back with a new five-piece allfemale band, Brave Irene, to show the kids how it’s done. The group’s debut self-titled minialbum is closest in spirit to Melberg’s material with Tiger Trap, with eight upbeat songs that playfully skip and jump along, wrapped up in a tidy 17-minute package. While Tiger Trap benefited from the vigorous drumming of (criminally underrated) Heather Dunn, Laura Hat-

Bernard Estardy La Formule du Baron (Vadim)

An album like Frenchman Bernard Estardy’s La Formule du Baron just seems like it could not be made today. Estardy, still obscure on this side of the pond except among vinyl crate-diggers and library-record aficionados, was a keyboard player and sound engineer—one of the most sought-after engineers among French pop stars in the ’60s and ’70s. He

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

field’s drumming in Brave Irene, while steady, is a bit more understated; how Brave Irene diverges sonically is through its pastel-colored organ tones, adding spice to the pop-combo configuration. The compelling keyboard notes of “Tangled Line” place it a few steps away from being a Stereolab song (which is a good thing), along with its vocal harmonies. “Bank Holiday” briskly strolls in 6/8 time, a caffeinated halfsister of Black Tambourine’s “Drown,” magnifying a simple song about a lazy day off into something bigger. This approach from Brave Irene highlights how you make good indie-pop music—you take something simple and elevate it with a spirited, pretty delivery.

experimented with recording techniques and sound effects and had access to talented arrangers and studio musicians, and La Formule du Baron, originally released in 1969 and recently reissued by Vadim Music, is a strange, inventive and unique album with a multitude of musical ideas that still sound fresh today. With suave trumpet and organ solos, the opener “Monsieur Dutour” (named after Estardy’s trumpeter Pierre Dutour) has the stylish, cocksure swagger of a Serge Gainsbourg tune, and actually, the work of composer/arranger Jean-Claude Vannier (who collaborated with Gainsbourg) comes to mind frequently when listening to La Formule du Baron. The unclassifiable “Cha Tatch Ka” is charmingly weird, with manipulated vocal sounds, timpani beats, a wandering accordion, and a confused fuzz

guitar. Estardy favors using deeply funky rhythms (and many on this album are ripe for hip-hop sampling) and also using a phaser effect on the drums, heard on “Ala Mia Thra,” which sounds like a cross between the James Bond theme and Gainsbourg’s “Initials B.B.” “La Gigouille” is very nearly irresistible, with a head-nod-inducing beat and badass brass and piano parts; the vocal track “Le Pain, Le Vin” starts with a reserved reading of the Schumann tune “The Happy Farmer” before breaking out into a more flamboyant style, resembling “Spinning Wheel” by Blood, Sweat & Tears. La Formule du Baron is an addictive album, impeccably recorded but with a boldly off-kilter vision, and it deserves to find a modern audience, whether among jaded funk-lovers or seekers of brilliant, oddball curiosities.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

On The Beat

Lost In Translation T

he call came in originally as a burglary that had just occurred; we rolled, but not with much fanfare. While a serious crime, burglary was kind of a local pastime for the indigenous peoples of 12th Avenue, where the suspects were frequently your neighbors, and all too often a blood relative. Just before getting there, we were also informed there was a “stabbing” at the same address. (Now that had potential…but I wasn’t holding my breath.) It was dark (because that’s when I work) but warm, and a rare functioning street lamp illuminated the shotgun-shack-style duplex perched atop a small but inconvenient bluff that no one before had been silly enough to consider building upon. You could tell the construction was new because it still had the numeric address attached to the front-porch column completely visible to the road. You see, after a few years, residents find that the mail they receive contains “bills” from scorned creditors and abandoned children, so it’s best to remove all markings, give cash money to the rent man, and say, “hell with the rest”. Tina answered the door to side “A”, her Cricket phone pressed firmly to her left ear and speaking loudly enough to ensure that she had no intention of actually carrying on a conversation with me, much less answering questions about what happened. “Excuse me,” I said. “I believe you have a stabbing around here for me?” Two small children were coloring on plain copier paper on the floor nearby where a large-projection screen television was holding up a pile of laundry roughly seven feet high against the wall. I finally got her to lower the phone long enough to say “Yeah, Raymond done broke in here and stole my ol’ man’s clothes. He right out front, you know who he is from the other week.” She resumed her phone call. “The stabbing part, ma’am. Was someone stabbed?” I asked.

Alex Teach

“Oh, yeah, Kendra got stabbed in the foot. KENDRA!” she yelled. Kendra appeared from the bathroom hallway, walked up to me with no limp, and without a word raised her right foot off the ground, carefully balancing her 280 pounds on one foot for four seconds. There was a quarter-inch scratch below her pinky toe, on the bottom of her foot. “Stabbing?” I said. “Yes,” she replied. “He stabbed me with a license plate.” I raised an eyebrow; some-

thing new, at least. “I been in the baff’room because I stepped in some shit,” she explained. (I nodded, unfazed; of course she had.) Kendra explained that she was chasing Raymond down the alley trying to get “T’s” license plate back after he took it off of a car, and when he stopped, she started kicking at him. “He was waving a license plate at me so I kicked at it and he cut me,” she explained. “That’s when he stabbed me. Then I stepped in some shit.” “OK,” I said, nodding straight faced while jotting down notes in my Handy Dandy Notebook. “Tina? The plate came off your car, yes?” “Yeah,” Tina said, still on her cell phone. “Well, actually it’s his car.” I paused. “So he took the license plate off his car, then you [pointing at Kendra] chased him, and when you started kicking at him, he held up the license plate?” “Yeah.” “OK. So, there was no stabbing. Tina? Where does Raymond live?” “Oh, here. But he’s moving. I want to press charges,” she said.

My partner walked up, and confirmed that Raymond was indeed out front and had a tub of clothes. I excused myself to search through them, and brought back a letter and pictures along with his ID. I paused to arrange the order, and asked Tina to listen (her phone still pressed to her ear). “Is this the man?” I asked, showing her his ID. “Yeah. That him,” she said as she folded her arms and raised her chin for effect. “OK…so, he’s moving out, you said. He comes in the back door with a key, takes clothes outside in a tub from the home he lives in, and then removes the license plate from the car he owns that he’s no longer letting you drive. These letters,” I said holding them up, “are to him and there are pictures of him. If these are your ol’ man’s, did he steal his mail and hide it in here…or are these possibly Raymond’s own clothes?” Never letting the phone drop, she said, “Maybe.” Raymond entered his own home, took his clothes out, and then removed the license plate from the car he had loaned his girlfriend so she wouldn’t keep driving it. For this, he was attacked by a third party who cut her foot while attacking him… and this was turned into a burglary and stabbing.

“A rare functioning street lamp illuminated the shotgun-shack-style duplex perched atop a small but inconvenient bluff.” Being “bilingual” means more than speaking two languages; it also applies, in my mind, to being able to sort out bullshit and stupidity, which is the essence of being a cop. As for Tina and Kendra? They weren’t satisfied, so a few hours down the road they did the next logical thing they could think of…they called a third and fourth cop since they didn’t like the response from the last two. And that is where I work. When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

ARTS

Feature

Memories of the Old South Collide on Stage

By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor

erendipity is often a blessing in the arts—and one instance of it has resulted in theatre fans getting the chance to see two classic pieces of drama, each examining a different realm of Southern life, at our own Chattanooga Theatre Centre at the same time. Both are set in Mississippi and both involve the tumultuous decade between 1955-1965. On April 1, Tennessee Williams’s steamy tale of repression and family secrets, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, opens on the CTC’s MainStage. Maggie the Cat has been back in the news recently, as people recall the performance of the late Elizabeth Taylor in the film version of the play. “This play deals with so many issues all at once,” says director Bob Willie. “Williams both loved and hated the Old South. ‘Cat’ talks about death, the desire for immortality, greed, decay, the superficiality of the culture.” And of course, the famous word uttered many times by the dying Big Daddy, “mendacity.” Cat on a Hot Tin Roof was written in 1955, “and everyone can see that we’ve changed,” Willie says, “but we still have issues that we prefer to sweep under the rug. A lot of the core ‘values’ are still there, and we are still hiding from realities.” In the play, one of those issues is the homosexuality of Maggie’s husband Brick, which everyone in the play, most vehemently Brick himself, tries to deny. Willie points out the ambiguity of Big Daddy’s own possible relationship with the two men he inherits his land and mansion from. “Brick will probably end up being a lot like Big Daddy,” he says.

Coylee Bryan as Big Mama and Jonathan Harris as Brick. Civil rights worker Medgar Evers was murdered in Mississippi in 1963. On April 15, for the first time in Chattanooga, James Baldwin’s Blues for Mister Charlie, which was inspired by Evers’s death, will open on the CTC’s Circle Stage. A co-production of the CTC and Destiny Theater Company, it’s directed by Hope Alexander, who has wanted to produce it for more than 10 years. “I have a passion for this play,” says Alexander. “I was active in the civil rights movement. I believe it has the power to open up a dialogue about racism, how it still exists despite the desire to not acknowledge it.” She notes that many younger people don’t know what life was like in that era. “They take it for granted, for example, that “you can be The ‘Cat’ cast did two weeks of “table work”—disin an interracial couple. cussing the play and “trying to forge a timeline for “We’re hoping that school groups and teachers will it,” Willie says. “When did Brick give up, when did take advantage of the opportunity to see this piece,” they move back to the house, how long has he been she says. trapped? All great plays are about relationships and Alexander has asked the 20-person cast to work in we have tried to get to the meat of this one.” rehearsal with doors labeled “For Whites Only” and The powerful cast features, among others, Kim “For Colored Only,” emphasizing the need to re-creJackson as Maggie, John Hammons as Big Daddy, ate the emotions Jim Crow laws inspired. “They need to be in their bodies in the way people were Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Blues for Mister Charlie then,” she says. “The play itself is a ‘memory Opens 8 p.m. April 1 Opens 8 p.m. April 15 play,’ and these have to be their memories.” Plays through April 17 Plays through April 30 Destiny and the CTC also plan to have at Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, least one talk-back and hope that local people MainStage, 400 River St. Circle Stage, 400 River St. involved in the civil rights movement will come For both plays: (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com and share their memories of the time.

“Everyone can see that we’ve changed, but we still have issues that we prefer to sweep under the rug.”

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

Biutiful

Javier Bardem was Oscarnominated for his role as a dying father. Multiple showings Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375. www.artsedcouncil.org

Thursday

2011 Child Engagement Conference 9 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.childengagement.com Art + Issues: It takes a Community 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Senior Recital 6 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N. Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Movie Night 7 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3207. www.chattanoogastate.edu Covenant College Broadway Project featuring Ballet Tennesee 7:30 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy, Lookout Mountain, GA. (888) 451-2683. www.ballettennessee.org Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. T-Bones Sports Cafe, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.chattanoogatrivia.com

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Michael Mack 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

Friday

2011 Child Engagement Conference 9 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.childengagement.com Aleph Bet Spring Fling 10:30 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchattanooga.com Earth Dayz 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675. Opening Reception: “Party in the Paintbox” 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com “Take Art/Leave Art” Closing Reception 5:30 p.m. AVA, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. “Form” Opening Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com Palate 2 Palatte-Youth Gallery Opening 7 p.m. Chattanooga’s Southside. (423) 778-9176. www.p2pchattanooga.com Autism Awareness Gala 7 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, One Carter Plaza. (423) 756-0001. Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

My Fair Lady 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343. www.leeuniversity.edu Stoning Mary 7:30 p.m. St. Andrews Center Theatre, 1918 Union Ave. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Covenant College Broadway Project featuring Ballet Tennesee 7:30 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy, Lookout Mountain, GA. (888) 451-2683. www. ballettennessee.org. Michael Mack 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Cat on a Hot Tin Roof 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Hubble 3D 8 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 9 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Live Team Trivia 9 p.m. Amigo’s Mexican Restaurant, 5450 Hwy 153. (423) 875-8049. www.chattanoogatrivia.com

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Maggie the Cat jumps onto the MainStage at the CTC. $30 opening night 7 p.m. reception, 8 p.m. show Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210.

Saturday

Friends of the Library Spring Book Sale 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310. Piano Arts Competition 9 a.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4269. Brainerd Farmers Market Opening Day 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281. Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com Earth Dayz 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675. Stoning Mary 2 p.m. St. Andrews Center Theatre, 1918 Union Ave. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Palate 2 Palatte-Gallery Stroll 5 p.m. Chattanooga’s Southside. (423) 778-9176. www.p2pchattanooga.com

ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar

SATURDAY

“Strange Bedfellows”

Musicians and poets collaborate. $5 8:30 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Co., 4015 Tennessee Ave. Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 7 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org My Fair Lady 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343. www.leeuniversity.edu Faculty Recital 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N. Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343. Michael Mack 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Cat on a Hot Tin Roof 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com CSO Masterworks: Bob’s Favorite Things 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050. www.chattanooga.gov Saturday Night Movie with Ms. Kitty 8 p.m. Baylor School Student Center, 171 Baylor School Rd. (423) 267-8505.

SUNDAY

Hubble 3D 8 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 9 p.m. IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday

Earth Dayz 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain, GA. (800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com Friends of the Library Spring Book Sale Noon. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310. First Free Sunday Noon. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org 1st Annual JAMFest 1 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org My Fair Lady 2 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343.

Open Improvisational Jam 3 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Graduate Recital 3 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8343. www.leeuniversity.edu Senior Recital 3 p.m. Southern Adventist University Ackerman Auditorium, 4881 Taylor Cr. Collegedale. (423) 236-2000. www.southern.edu Stoning Mary 6:30 p.m. St. Andrews Center Theatre, 1918 Union Ave. ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com Michael Mack 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Monday

Friends of the Library Spring Book Sale 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310. Studio Recital 4 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu Saxaphone Concert 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu Senior Recital 8 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu

Tuesday

Friends of the Library Spring Book Sale 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310.

“The House That Straw Built” Tour Frances McDonald’s straw-bale house to benefit the North Shore Community Public Art Project. $20 3 - 5 p.m. 302 Noll St. (423) 643-9096.

Songwriter’s Line-up 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. Faculty Recital 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu

Wednesday

Friends of the Library Spring Book Sale 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310. National Start! Walking Day 9:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.startwalkingnow.org Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com Senior Recital 8 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland. (423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu/theatre “Whispers” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

Life In The ‘Noog

Musta Notta Gotta Lotta Sleep Last Night T

oday I’m dragging. Not because I stayed up late or anything, it’s just that last night was one of those slumber occurrences when the mind was racing thinking about everything…except sleep. And as annoying as it generally is, it intrigued me how the mind sometimes doesn’t seem to compute the fact that the body is laying in a bed in a darkened room needing shuteye while it rambles on and on. The night before I had experienced the same lack of sleep, so I was extremely tired when I took it to the sofa on this particular night to watch my stories on the backlit entertainment box known as the TV. That led to a hardcore nap of about two hours in the early evening, and meant that trying to lie down for good at 1 a.m. was going to be a pipe dream at best. As tired as I still was, the mind had a million other needful topics it thought I might be interested in considering as I “fell asleep.” The first, of course, was the song of the day, so infectious that it was playing constantly on my mind’s internal radio. In this case, it was the fast paced Jason & The Scorchers song “Self Sabotage.” Appropriate for my plight, ironically. While that tune played over and over, another part of my brain was making a “to-do” list for the following day. Even though these items were written down on my calendar, my brain surmised that I must go over these tasks again—in order of importance—so that I had a keen awareness of what was going to happen when the old alarm went off. So as my mind’s radio and listing functions were rattling off their seemingly endless banter, I was also tossing and

turning in order to get into a comfortable position for the sleep that surely was going to come my way soon. Tired and sore from a bike ride the day before, I was forced to get up and pop an Aleve. Then, the temperature of the room came into question. It was too hot, so I turned on my two sleep fans. This caused me to hunker down under my comforter which then left my exposed body parts chilly and those under the covers sweating. So, I got up once more to adjust the HVAC so it would create a more consistent temperature, rendering the above ceiling fan needless. Problem solved. However, in the interim, my mind had added a new topic to its endless stream of consciousness. This time it was what I was going to write about for my next column—this one. I explored several topics and landed on one that intrigued me so greatly that while Jason and the boys were playing their cow-punk classic in my head for the fifth time, and the to-do list grew and grew, I was now also contemplating how I could turn breakfast foods into 800 words of my weekly gibberish. I mean, who was the first to make pig meat the primary source of protein in the morning meal? But then I thought about the incredible, edible egg. Who on earth decided that boiling, scrambling or frying up a chicken embryo might go well with ground-up hog meat sausage or strips of pig flesh known as bacon? Seriously? It had to be farmers.

Chuck Crowder

Tired of what they could grow in the fields, our pioneers of produce likely looked no further than the barnyard for foodstuffs. Chicken meat was great, but how can we keep eating chicken without getting rid of all the chickens? Oh, let’s just take those little undeveloped “chickens in the shell” and eat them. I mean, we can’t afford to feed them if they hatch and take up more space in the barnyard, so let’s see what one of those little buggers would taste like before it grew feathers. And pigs? They’re just disgusting. They’re rooting around, wallowing in the mud they’ve made of our pens and are mainly good for just eating the scraps nobody wants anyway. Let’s slaughter those for breakfast instead of our precious milk cows whose meat might be best saved for special occasions—like dinner. Back in the kitchen, mama is tired of just bacon and eggs every single morning, so she’s decided to make a special roll to eat along with it and a breakfast cake we can top with all of that tree sap that we’ve been collecting in buckets for some strange reason. That’s likely where we got biscuits and pancakes.

“Who on earth decided that boiling, scrambling or frying up a chicken embryo might go well with ground-up hog meat sausage?” By this time, I’m so frustrated with Jason & The Scorchers, to-do lists, temperature inconsistencies, achy muscles and the ludicrous notion of how breakfast came to be that I willed myself to sleep out of pure disgust. Twenty minutes later, the alarm went off. Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his popular website at www.thenoog.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

FOOD

Dining Out

212 Market: Deliciously Different By D.E.Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer

oing things differently has become something of a hallmark for the Moses family, proprietors of 212 Market Restaurant. Operating since 1992, before even the Tennessee Aquarium had opened its doors, sisters Sally and Susan, as well as their mother, Maggie, have pioneered the development of the downtown area into what it is today, and have done so on their own terms, making a point of incorporating responsible practices that many establishments are just now discovering, all while producing top-quality fare. 212 Market takes pride in having been named Tennessee’s first “Certified Green” restaurant. The amount of ecologically responsible steps the Moses family takes is truly mind-boggling. Sally, who runs the front of the house, told me, “We buy local and we recycle everything we possibly can; we’ve always done that.” But that’s just the beginning. “We have rain barrels and produce solar energy. We compost, and have our own herb garden. Anything appropriate that we don’t compost, we provide as feed for animals on local farms,” she says. They’re also a Bicycle Friendly Business (as determined by the League of American Bicyclists), and are installing electric car-chargers in the near future. Even the flowers adorning the tables are locally grown. So how does all this relate to their food? Their focus on low-impact methods means their patrons receive some of the best and freshest local ingredients, and responsibly sourced items from more distant locales. With menus that change seasonally, and specials that change daily according to availability, Susan’s team in the kitchen produces, in the purest sense of the word,

countercultural cuisine—though the mainstream is desperately trying to catch up to them. The fact that practically everything is produced in-house means they’ve got quite the head start. This is decidedly American fare, but is evolved enough to deserve another moniker. This week marks the changeover to their spring menu. I sampled several dishes, from staples to brand-new items. The meal began with a basket of two types of bread, both baked fresh on the premises. The wheat was warm and hearty, and the Sicilian feather bread lived up to its name, with a superlight crumb and subtle sweetness.

The first menu selection I tasted was the seafood bisque, a delightful, flavor-packed soup that my server Julia (who was outstanding) informed me had been on the menu since the restaurant opened. Fried green tomatoes came next, topped with a lemon and fennel slaw and Bulgarian feta. Quickly pickled onion and a smear of remoulade finished a beautiful plate. Everything, including the perfectly executed crust, complemented the tartness of the tomatoes. I also tried a daily special, an excellent Baja Redfish. Its tender flesh sat atop a sweet salad composed of wildwood lettuce, jicama,

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

mango, avocado, and cherry tomatoes with a chipotle-lime vinaigrette. Crunchy tortilla strips topped the dish, completing the theme and offering a textural contrast. Next came one of the stars of the new menu—a locally reared, grass-fed pork chop with bourbon sauce, served alongside a tremendous bacon and mushroom bread pudding and sugar snap peas. The chop was quite honestly the best I’ve ever been served, astoundingly flavorful and cooked to just the optimal level of doneness. The bread pudding, with its crunchy exterior, was an absolute umami-bomb, and was well complemented by the naturally confectionary pea pods. This was an astonishing plate of food. Desserts included a sampler of decadent selections— flourless chocolate cake, New York-style cheesecake, and a Tahitian vanilla bean crème brûlée—as well as a heavenly pie of peanut butter mousse, offered alongside brimming cafetieres and cappuccinos. Lunch, as one might expect, offers lighter fare, presented with the same care. Brunch on the weekends ensures that the specials will include breakfast-themed offerings. Tuesday nights bring a selection of half-priced wines from 212’s nationally recognized wine list. 212 Market truly has something for everyone. Whether you want to host a private party in the back, or bring your dog along for a meal on the solar deck while you sip a locally brewed beer, the laid-back vibe and outstanding cuisine will ensure your next visit won’t be far behind. 212 Market Restaurant, 212 Market Street. Lunch: Monday through Friday, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Weekends, 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. Dinner: Monday through Thursday, 5 p.m. to 9:30 p.m., Friday and Saturday, 5 p.m. to 10 p.m., Sunday, 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. For more information, call (423) 265-1212.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

SCREEN

Film Feature

An Empty Sucker Punch By John DeVore, Film Critic

t isn’t often that I feel completely lost when watching a film. Even when I do, usually it has to do with intricate plotlines, whirlwind characters, and thoughtprovoking themes. However, Zack Snyder’s latest movie, Sucker Punch, is so terribly clichéd, so offensively puerile, so absurdly masturbatory that I felt as if I had wandered into the adolescent dreamscape of the saddest video-game geek to ever haunt the darkened corners of his parents’ basement. It is a misguided mishmash of the dullest types of Japanese anime, techno-soaked music videos, and action-movie conventions. Here we have a movie that makes so little sense, is so unbelievably silly, that a description of the plot is almost impossible. Here’s what I know: Baby Doll, the protagonist, has recently lost her mother. She and her sister are left all her money. Baby Doll’s stepfather is angry about this and decides to do something to them. I don’t know what. He mostly stands around looking menacing and banging on doors. Eventually, Baby Doll accidentally shoots her sister and is committed to a mental institution. This all happens in music video, set to a horribly remixed version of “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” by Emily Browning. Once inside said institution, Baby Doll is set to have a lobotomy performed on her in five days. As an apparent coping mechanism, Baby retreats into her own mind, envisioning the mental hospital as a brothel, the staff as her oppressors, and the other patients—all attractive women with silly names—as performers in a burlesque-style show. Within this setting, Baby Doll can enter a trance-like state, going deeper into her subconscious to fight zombie Nazis that run on steam. I’m not making this up. It’s like Inception for idiots. She is tasked with finding several items that will help them all escape

heroic silliness. It is the epitome of meaningless sound and fury. I suppose that there is an audience for this sort of thing. Transformers 2 sold lots of tickets based on it. But even the “Transformer” franchise has the excuse of being primarily aimed at a younger, pre-teen audience. By far, the most offensive aspect of this movie, apart from the writing, is its treatment of women. Here we have a world where all female characters are either prostitutes, insane, or beholden to men. At one point, a character reveals to another that she is “the only one strong enough to escape.” There are no other options here. This is a common theme among many movies in the genre, and in comic books in general. Characters are either whores, or dead, or both. Apologists would argue that the girls in Sucker Punch are strong characters because they fight like men, with samurai swords, automatic weapons, and kung fu. In reality, however, this is just a device used to insert perverted girl fights into a screenplay. It’s a high-tech version of foxy boxing. There is no way that anyone can legitimately argue that the women in this movie are empowered when they have names like Sweet Pea, Rocket, Baby Doll, and Blondie. Sometimes I worry that I come off as anti-action movie or anti-comic book movie. My tastes have obviously changed to some degree. I’ve read a bit more now, seen a few more things. Nostalgia will only take a person so far. I have no doubt that I will be the first in line for Captain America this summer. But I expect more from my art than explosions, pretty girls, and one-liners. It doesn’t matter how advanced CGI becomes, storytelling is in writing, in the conflicts, in the humanity. I can’t relate to a movie like Sucker Punch and I’m completely OK with that.

“It wants to appeal to fanboys, comic-book geeks, and video gamers that have absolutely no concept of depth and beauty.”

the brothel/mental hospital/movie career. Why was this movie made? What possible purpose does it serve? There is no doubt that an enormous amount of time was spent rendering the graphics. I can’t deny that it looks good. But what message is it trying to send? As far as I can tell, it wants to appeal to fanboys, comic-book geeks, and video gamers that have absolutely no concept of depth and beauty. I love comic books. They were my preferred reading when I was younger. They eventually led me to other things, to better stories, to deeper meaning. Sucker Punch is trapped in a simplistic worldview, one filled with ultraviolent, Sucker Punch Directed by Zack Snyder Starring Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone Rated R Running time: 2 hours

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

SCREEN

New In Theaters

Jake Gyllenhaal Tries To Find His Acting Source Code Source Code An experimental government program sends soldier Colter Stevens back in time, where he wakes up in the body of a commuter who witnesses a train bombing. Presented with just eight minutes to figure out who is responsible, his mission is further complicated by his feelings for a fellow passenger. Following in the well-worn career path of many leading men before him, Jake Gyllenhaal is attempting to jump-start a faltering career as a leading man by jumping into an edgy sci-fi action film. Coming off recent missteps such as Love and Other Drugs, the abysmal Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time, and the equally ill-fated Brothers and Rendition, Gyllenhaal is trying to recapture the edge and buzz he had after his stellar performance in Brokeback Mountain. Whether this time-twister of a film will do that for him or not is questionable, as advance screenings have left audiences more lethargic than enthused, but with a fairly weak slate of film currently in the theaters, he may succeed over lesser competition.

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Monaghan, Vera Farmiga Directed by Duncan Jones Insidious A family looks to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called “The Further”. The twisted geniuses behind the Saw franchise return to the big screen with another slice of psychological horror that won raves during the recent Toronto International Film Festival (which screened the film, appropriately, after midnight). Add in Paranormal Activity director Oren Peli as one of the producers, whose influence can clearly be seen in the murky atmosphere of the film, and you have an enjoyable blend of classic genre films such as Poltergeist and The Amityville Horror. Bonus appearances by the wonderfully creepy Barbara Hershey and genre vet Lin Shaye help solidify this appealing slice of scream-worthy fun. Starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Ty Simpki Directed by James Wan

Super An everyday guy transforms himself into wannabe superhero The Crimson Bolt after his wife leaves him for Jacques, a suave drug-dealer. Joined by teen-sidekick Libby, the duo engage in war against crime and look to take down Jacques and his empire. Yet another film in the suddenly commonplace “real people as superheroes” genre, this quite violent and midnightblack humored film bears all the hallmarks of a Troma Studios film, if Troma ever had a decent budget to the work with. And considering that director James Gunn got his start working with the low-budget studio (home of such classics as The Toxic Avenger, Cannibal! The Musical and Redneck Zombies), it’s not surprising to see the gleeful insanity of his Troma years translated to a larger production. That said, this is not a movie for general audiences, and while it may become a midnight-movie classic in years to come, it will likely find more success on the DVD market than in general release. Starring Rainn Wilson, Ellen Page, Liv Tyler Directed by James Gunn

Hop E.B., the Easter Bunny’s teenage son, heads to Hollywood, determined to become a drummer in a rock ‘n’ roll band. In LA, he’s taken in by Fred after the out-of-work slacker hits E.B. with his car. With Hollywood all abuzz over translating classic children’s literature to the screen (do we really need three versions of the Snow White tale coming to the big screen?), it is not all surprising that the Easter Bunny is getting his feature-film moment in the sun. However, the casting of British comedian Russell Brand (aka Mr. Katy Perry) as the voice of the junior Bunny has left a number of critics scratching their heads. Even so, those that question the off-kilter casting choice will be relieved to know the antagonist of the story, a demented young chick, is voiced by the inimitable Hank Azaria, he of at least 3,172 Simpsons characters (give or take a few thousand). If you can’t wait for Brand’s remake of Arthur, here’s your chance to get an early fix. Starring Russell Brand, Elizabeth Perkins Directed by Tim Hill

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

WINE & SPIRITS

Riley's Spirits Within

Jim Beam Meets Cola—in a Can

By Joshua Hurley, Riley's Wine & Spirits

hat will we have this week? Will it be something original and exciting or some mundane clone? Thankfully it’s the former—and it’s good enough to qualify as this week’s “Great Buy”. Great Buys are part of a weekly column brought to you by Riley’s Wine and Spirits (Chattanooga’s favorite stop for adult beverages), in which we pick something special, then share it with the readership of The Pulse. This week’s selection is Jim Beam Bourbon and Cola—a pre-made, ready-to-pop cocktail in a can! Jim Beam is the world’s most recognized bourbon, and was first distilled in 1795 by Johannes Reginald Boehm in Kentucky. Boehm, who was an immigrant from Germany, called his bourbon “Old Jake Boehm”—“Beam” was Boehm translated into English from German. In 1820, his son, David Boehm, took over, successfully launching the bourbon into the industrial age, after which his son, David Jr., carried it up until Prohibition, relocating the distillery to Nelson County. A smart move—Nelson was a railroad town, making the bourbon available all over the U.S. After Prohibition, the distillery changed hands, this time to

James Beam, another relative and former Army colonel who moved the distillery again, rebuilding it in Clairmont and then changing the name to James B. Beam Distillery. From then on Old Jake Beam Bourbon was named Jim Beam Bourbon. Bourbon whiskey is made following strict government standards which state: “to be called bourbon, the whiskey must be made in the United States, have a grain mix of at least 51 percent corn, be distilled no higher than 160 proof, cannot contain any additives except water and must be aged in charred, white oak barrels for a minimal two years and bottled at no less than 80 proof.” Since the end of Prohibition, Jim Beam Bourbon has used water filtered from a limestone shelf found in Central Kentucky and yeast known as “dona yeast”. This yeast is added after the corn, rye and barley are mashed down and put into a cooker, along with the water and a substance known as “set back”. Set back is what’s left in the cooker from the last distillation and guarantees consistency from batch to batch. After cooking, the mash goes into a fermenter where it’s cooled down to 60°F to 70°F. More yeast is then added, which jells chemically with natural sugars in the mash,

which then are reheated and turn to alcohol. At this stage, the liquid is called “distiller’s beer”. The beer or “wash”, as it is also called, is then put into a column still and reheated to 200°F, at which the temp turns liquid into vapor. Once the vapors cool, they return to a liquid called “low wine”. This wine is then put into a pot still, where more heat turns it into a liquid called “high wine”. The high wine is finally put into the charred American white oak barrels for aging up to nine years, creating after four years Jim Beam 4 Year and after seven years, Jim Beam 7 Year. Jim Beam and Cola is a ready-to-drink 355mL aluminum can containing real Jim Beam four-year-old bourbon and cola. What makes this pre-made cocktail so interesting is that it’s actually the first name-brand product to actually contain the real spirit as its key ingredient. A good example would be Smirnoff Ice, which contains absolutely no vodka whatsoever and is simply a beer flavored like vodka—yuck! Yes, we all know of these “malternatives”, which certainly seemed good at the time but have now worn out their welcome. Drink the real thing. Try one of six today available at Riley’s—one can for $1.60 plus tax or a 6-pack for $8.99 plus tax.

Solution To Last Week's Crossword

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

ENTERTAINMENT

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): This is an excellent time to study the book Assholeology: The Science Behind Getting Your Way—and Getting Away with it. In fact, the cosmos would not only look the other way if you acted on the principles described therein; the cosmos is actively encouraging you to be a successful jerk. APRIL FOOL! It’s true that you’re in a phase when it makes sense to be a little extra selfish and eager to bend the world to meet your needs. But according to my analysis, it’s crucial that you do this politely and graciously. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s a great time to get breast implants, a penis enlargement, a nose enhancement (if our nose is too tiny), or surgery to elongate your tongue. Anything you could do to yourself in order to stick out further and make a bigger impression would be in harmonious alignment with the astrological omens. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was a dirty lie. Here are the facts: It’s high time to work creatively and appreciatively with what nature has given you, not try to force it to accommodate some soulless desire. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Between now and April 16, you really should try to party every night. You should experiment with at least 100 different altered states of consciousness, and talk to at least 500 fascinating people, and explode with at least 800 fits of laughter, and change your mind at least 1000 times. You need massive stimulation, Gemini. You need record-breaking levels of variety and mood swings. Be everywhere! Do everything! APRIL FOOL! While it’s true that this might be one of those times that the visionary poet William Blake was referring to when he said, “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom,” please take care you don’t end up slobbering face-down in the gutter without any pants on halfway along the road of excess. Remember the goal: to actually reach the palace of wisdom. CANCER (June 21-July 22): You have cosmic permission to brag like a coked-up pimp. You have poetic license to swagger and show off like a rock star who has sold his soul for $30 million. You have my blessing if you’d like to act as if everyone in the world should be more like you. APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a little. It’s true that you have every right to seize more authority and feel more confident and spread your influence farther and wider. But the best way to do that is to explore the mysteries of humble courage and ply the art of magical truth-telling and supercharge your willpower with a big dose of smart love. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What is your most far-fetched desire? I dare you to pursue it. What is the craving that would take you to the frontier of your understanding about yourself? I urge you to indulge it. Which of your primal wishes intimidates you as much as it enthralls you? I beg you to embrace it. APRIL FOOL! I don’t really think you should try to carry out your most extreme fantasies. Maybe in a few weeks, but not now. I do hope, however, that you spend some time this week getting to know them better. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you develop symptoms like a dry mouth, twitching eyebrows, sweaty palms, or goose bumps in places you don’t usually get them, you may be suffering from a malady called anatidaephobia, which is the fear that you are being watched by a duck. So please, Virgo, try to avoid places where ducks congregate. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is, you will not contract an exotic affliction like anatidaephobia any time soon. You may, however, notice yourself experiencing waves of seemingly irrational elation; you may frequently feel like something oddly good is about to happen. Why? Because according to my analysis of the omens, you are more likely than usual to be watched by secret admirers, future helpers, interesting strangers, and your guardian angel. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you’re a straight man, this

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

would be a good time to ask Halle Berry on a date. If you’re a straight woman, you’ll have a better-than-usual chance to get Jake Gyllenhaal to go out with you. If you’re a gay man, you might want to try your luck with Adam Lambert, and if you’re a lesbian, I encourage you to propose a rendezvous with Portia de Rossi. APRIL FOOL! I lied. It’s never a good time to try to hook up with unavailable dream girls or dream guys. I will say this, though: You now have extraordinary power to turn yourself into a better partner, ally, and lover. And that suggests it’s well within your means to cultivate a more exciting kind of intimacy. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Dear Rob: I just walked in on my boyfriend of over a year in bed with another woman. My mind is beyond blown; it’s a splay of sparks in a drenched sky, a fireworks display in a downpour. Any advice on moving forward? Shocked Scorpio.” Dear Shocked: I’ll tell you what I’d like to tell all Scorpios right now: Start plotting your wicked revenge. APRIL FOOL! The truth is, revenge would be a dumb waste of your precious time. Any surprises that come your way in the coming days are basically disguised gifts from life to get you back on course. Use their motivational energy wisely and gratefully. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): It’s an ideal time for you to explore the intimate wonders of ecosexuality. Nature’s libidinous pleasures are calling to you. How about trying some erotic experiments with trees and waterfalls? Or skinny-dipping in wetlands and doing skyclad seduction dances for the clouds? Or making out with oyster mushrooms right where they grow up out of a fallen log? APRIL FOOL! It’s true that this is a good time to expand your sexual repertoire and seek out new sensations of intimate bliss, but it’s quite possible to accomplish that by confining your erotic communion to human beings. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The astrological omens are practically screaming for you to go out and buy a luxurious new home in your ideal neighborhood. Preferably it should have every feature you’ve ever dreamed about, whether that’s a cinema-scale theater room or a spa with a sauna and hot tub. If you have to go deep into debt to make this happen, that’s fine. APRIL FOOL! I lied, sort of. It is an excellent time for you to upgrade your domestic scene, either by making comfortable and attractive changes in the decor of your current home or by enhancing your relationships with your family and roommates. But there’s no need to make crazy expenditures that will cripple you financially. In fact, cheap is probably better. That’s what the astrological omens are really suggesting. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s absolutely critical for you to be consistent and uniform right now. You must be pure, homogeneous, and regular. Don’t you dare dabble with anything that’s even vaguely miscellaneous. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was a lie. In astrological fact, the best way to thrive is by being a cross between a mishmash and a medley…by being part hodgepodge and part amalgamation. Your strongest impact will come from blending the most diverse influences. The best elixir will result from mixing several different potions. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I hope you take full advantage of this unusual moment in your astrological cycle, Pisces. According to my interpretation of the cosmic signs, it’s prime time to unleash an ocean of tears. And not just the kind of moisture that wells up out of sadness, either. I hope you will give even more time to crying because of unreasonable joy, sobbing due to cathartic epiphanies, weeping out of compassion for the suffering of others, and blubbering activated by visions of the interconnectedness of all life. Let it flow! APRIL FOOL! I slightly overstated the possibilities. Yes, it will be a wonderful time to feel profound states of emotion and surrender to the tears they induce. But you need to get a few things done, too, so don’t risk drowning.

ENTERTAINMENT

Jonesin' Crossword “Not What You Think” Across 1 Little mischief maker 4 Science magazine that folded in the 1990s 8 Make a haze around 13 Like one theory that Shakespeare didn’t write all his works 15 Eddie Bunker, in “Reservoir Dogs” 16 It’s harvested to make syrup 17 Fill full of bubbles 18 What lexicographers do most of the time? 20 Social conclusion? 23 What some people are slow on 24 Fair-hiring abbr. 25 They get worn on tires 28 Collection of Hindu writings 30 Laser pointer used by that jerk in the audience? 35 Yours, in French 36 ___-Man Chan (“Sur-

vivor: Fiji” participant) 37 Godsmack lead vocalist Sully ___ 38 Turn a digit into a zero with your bare hands? 42 Orlando Magic coach Van Gundy 43 DA’s undergrad coursework 44 Quad bike, in the States 47 Sex ed hygiene subject 50 “Hold On Tight” prog-rock band 51 Friends that share in your tacky guilty pleasures? 55 Capital of Canada 56 Get there in no time? 60 2010 solo album from Nick Jonas 61 Some desertscapes 62 Singer Furtado 63 Little bugs 64 Friend’s opposite Down

1 Watson’s creator 2 Baby goat sound 3 Angel dust 4 R.E.M.’s “The ___ Love” 5 Pageant owned by Donald Trump 6 Spingarn Medal awarders 7 Brainstorming session ideas, e.g. 8 Made some suds 9 River in Spain 10 Boater’s emergency kit item 11 Top 12 Honkers at a pond 14 Falling apart 15 Cover-up artist? 19 Enjoy, in England 20 “___ be my pleasure!” 21 Threesome 22 Estonia, in Estonian (hidden in BEE STING) 26 Determined by ___ of the coin 27 Falls fast asleep 29 Eagle’s nest

31 Baby swan 32 Sorority letter 33 One may be obtuse 34 Taj ___ 39 2001 movie with Sean Penn and Dakota Fanning 40 Military shoulder decoration 41 Low card 44 Rock group System of ___ 45 Give a percentage 46 Acronym for aircraft that can depart from short runways (anagram of VOLTS) 48 Board (a bus) 49 Thabo ___ (South African president, 19992008) 52 It gets wagged 53 Rick on the radio 54 Letters on a sunscreen bottle 57 Not quite right 58 ___ Speedwagon 59 Mao ___-tung

Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0513.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse

OPINION

Ask A Mexican

Special April Fool's Edition Dear Readers, Rather than me punk ustedes with a prank, I give you the cruelest joke of all—ex-congressman and eternal Know Nothing Tom Tancredo! In return for him graciously allowing us to debate in Denver last year, I’ve allowed him to answer two questions of my picking, with no editorial interference from me save my intro and conclusion (so all the wacky stats he pulls out are his and his alone). See you at the end of the columna, for my Good Mexican of the Week—take it, Tom!

Gustavo Arellano

Dear Mexican, Why do legal Mexican immigrants, feel the need to make sure their criminal counterparts stay here and receive things they, the legal immigrant had to work so hard to receive legally? — Insert Derogatory Nickname about Me Here, Hopefully Something Witty Dear American, I suspect the question may be a sardonic one. It subtly suggests that critics of illegal entry like myself wrongly consider all illegal aliens “criminals” while legal Mexican immigrants do not see them that way. I think that suggestion is an oversimplification and an attempt at stereotyping. Actually, the idea that all Americans of Mexican descent welcome illegal interlopers is a misconception created by a fawning liberal media and advocacy organizations with a political agenda. Second-, third- and fourth-generation Mexican immigrants are divided on the question of welcoming all illegal border jumpers, and it’s dangerous to over-

generalize about their views. Many legal immigrants—and even many U.S.-born citizens of Mexican heritage—have a grandfather or aunt or uncle who also arrived illegally a decade ago or in the 1970s. Few immigrants of any nationality want to see a relative or good neighbor deported. But this natural sympathy can be stretched only so far. That sympathy does not extend to the criminal class among the illegal alien population, which is estimated to be as high as 10 percent. About 25 percent of convicted felons in the Phoenix jail are illegal aliens, and we do know that in the Tucson sector of the Border Patrol, about 15 percent of the border trespassers apprehended have criminal records– criminal records in the United States! Yes, anyone who crosses the border without authorization is breaking the law, and if apprehended anywhere inside the US, can and should be deported whether or not they have broken other laws. This happens to be not only my opinion, but the opinion of about 75 percent of the American public. It is also the view of thousands of legal Mexican immigrants and Latino citizens who see good jobs being lost to illegal persons who will work for less. So, let’s acknowledge that the views of legal Mexican residents are complex and run the gamut. Stereotyping them as having a single view is not flattering to them or to the

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 13 | March 31, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

poser of the question. Dear Mexican, Why do Mexican radio deejays insist on having that Mickey Mouse high-pitched voice and automated laughter track? Do they assume that most Mexican listeners are so stupid that they have to be reminded when to laugh and that we need a child-like character to induce the laughter? Just seems silly and wrong to me. — Radiola On Dear American, First off, that voice isn’t actually Mickey Mouse—it’s an illegal alien impersonator who offered to do the voiceover cheaper than Mickey would. And the reason they play the high-pitched voice isn’t because migrant workers are obtuse; it’s just that oftentimes, they can’t hear the substance of the original joke over the sounds of the nail guns and clanking plates at the restaurants and construction sites where they are illegally working.

“I give you the cruelest joke of all— ex-congressman and eternal Know Nothing Tom Tancredo!” GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! OK, cabrones: it’s your Mexican again! Wasn’t Tom fun? OK, maybe not, and that’s why we have the Colorado Immigrant Rights Coalition, which challenges Tancredo and his ilk every step of the paseo with stats, rallies and undocumented college students obtaining their degrees. Support the mensches atcoloradoimmigrant.org Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican. net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at www.youtube.com/askamexicano!

www.chattanoogapulse.com | March 31 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 13 | The Pulse