The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 31

Back To School: New State Immunization Laws

August 4, 2011 VOLUME 8, ISSUE 31 WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Nightfall 2011 - Friday Night!

Mingo Fishtrap

AUGUST

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2011

ontents C

VOLUME 8, ISSUE 31 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Want to watch a video of this week's Nightfall headliner? Download the FREE "QR Reader" on your smartphone and scan this code.

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“The full-length piece was read along with work by such well-known

contemporary playwrights as Ken Urban.”

— Janis Hashe on the works of playwright Trent Creswell

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“Starting out this

month-long series

will be The Revival, who provide an Allman Brothers experience.”

— Tara V on the opening night of the free Riverfront Nights concerts on the riverfront.

“Archaeological research shows that the island has been inhabited for more than 15,000 years, but for the most part no one in Chattanooga has even heard of it.”

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— Lauren Haynes on Chattanooga's best-kept farming secret, Williams Island Farms.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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NEWS Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor / Layout Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Photography / Videography Josh Lang Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder, John DeVore Janis Hashe, Lauren Haynes Matt Jones, D.E. Langley Kelly Lockhart, Ernie Paik Alex Teach, Tara V Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Editorial Interns Lauren Haynes, Crystal Kishimoto Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

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Pulse Beats

“Are we truly interested in progress? Have we actually become a community of the future? Are we clinging to outdated structures of government that might limit our opportunities?”

New State Requirements For School Immunizations Two new immunization requirements took effect last month for individuals enrolling in kindergarten and college.

Children enrolling in kindergarten must have two doses of Hepatitis A vaccine.

New full-time enrollees in Tennessee colleges must have two doses of varicella vaccine or a history of previous chickenpox.

These requirements are a continuation of the immunization requirements issued by the Tennessee Department of Health for children enrolling in preschool, kindergarten, and seventh grade or as a new student entering a Tennessee school.

A new Immunization Certificate is required for children enrolling in preschool, kindergarten and seventh grade, or for new enrollees in a Tennessee school other than kindergarten or seventh grade. Immunizations are one of the most efficient and cost-effective ways to protect children against childhood diseases and Tennessee law requires documented immunizations.

Otherwise, children may be prevented from attending childcare, school or college.

“More young children and adolescents than ever before are now protected against vaccine-preventable diseases that can cause serious illness or death. We urge parents to consult their healthcare provider and make sure their

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

child receives the appropriate immunizations,” said Nettie Gerstle, communicable disease program manager for the Chattanooga-Hamilton County Health Department.

Children enrolling in childcare facilities, pre-school, pre-kindergarten Infants entering child care facilities must be up-to-date at the time of enrollment and are required to provide an updated certificate after completing all of the required vaccines due by 18 months of age.

• Diphtheria-Tetanus-Pertussis • Poliomyelitis • Measles, Mumps, Rubella • Varicella • Haemophilus influenzae type B (Hib) – age younger than 5 years only • Hepatitis B • Pneumococcal conjugate vaccine – age younger than 5 years only • Hepatitis A – 1 dose, required by 18 months of age or older Children enrolling in kindergarten • Diphtheria-Tetanus-Pertussis • Hepatitis B • Measles, Mumps, Rubella • Poliomyelitis – final dose on or after the 4th birthday now required • Varicella (2 doses or history of disease): previously only one dose was required

— Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield.

• Hepatitis A – total of 2 doses, spaced at least 6 months apart All children entering 7th grade (including currently enrolled students) • Tetanus-diphtheria-pertussis booster (“Tdap”) – not required if a Td booster dose given less than 5 years before 7th grade entry is recorded on the DTaP/Td line • Verification of immunity to varicella – 2 doses or history of disease Children who are new enrollees in a TN school in grades other than kindergarten or 7th • Diphtheria-Tetanus-Pertussis • Measles, Mumps, Rubella • Poliomyelitis – final dose on or after the 4th birthday • Varicella – previously only one dose was required • Hepatitis B– previously only for Kindergarten, 7th grade entry Full-time Tennessee college students • Measles, Mumps, Rubella: if born on or after January 1, 1957 only.

• Varicella: if born on or after January 1, 1980 only.

Hepatitis B (HBV) – only for health science students expected to have patient contact (before patient contact begins). Students should also consider the need for the meningococcal vaccine, particularly if the student will be living in a dormitory.

NEWS

Opinion

Traffic Safety Questions In a recent letter to the editor, it was asked in anyone has ever done a story on why cyclists don’t feel the need to obey stop signs or the ‘don’t pass cars on the right when they’re waiting for a traffic light’ law? You realize this goes both ways and the drivers are at least as guilty? On a twolane road with a no passing zone that means no passing of a biker, yet everyone (including myself) does it. Why, because to not do so would cause more problems. Also, do you really think that 20 cyclists stopping and taking their turn at a stop sign or stop light is safer for either the driver or the cyclist? Do you think that the drivers behind them would feel better? No way. As a driver I would much prefer that the cyclist zip around things and get out of my way so it is safer and easier the pass them on a straight stretch of road, not take turns with them at a signal device that they are simply going to clog up.

Mark Mccain Don’t Close TEAM Center I am strongly concerned about TEAM Center’s closing, courtesy of a department within the state government that decided to stop giving a grant to TEAM Centers (which has 2,700 patients) here in Chattanooga. Instead, the money will be going to fund a facility in Knoxville (which has 290 patients). Because Chattanooga will no longer have a facility to treat patients with high functioning autism or other intellectual disorders, parents of children with autism spectrum disorders

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

may need to go as far as two hours away to receive treatment. As Chattanooga will be overtaking Knoxville as the third largest city in Tennessee, population wise, where are Governor Haslam’s and Commissioner Henry’s true priorities? Is there any coincidence that Governor Haslam was the previous mayor of Knoxville, and now the $700,000 plus grant is going there instead to Chattanooga? I can only imagine what Haslam and

Henry have in mind for the future of Tennessee with regard to intellectual disorders.

Scott Kramer Largest Underground Lake?

I take significant issue with the Day Tripping article concerning The Lost Sea. While I understand the purpose is to generate local tourism, to read Janis Hashe’s reporting that either the Lost Sea or Dragon’s Breath Lake is “The Largest Underground Lake” is absolute nonsense. St. Joseph Lead Mines in Bonne Terre, Missouri provided 70% of the world lead for a hundred years until their closing in 1962 and the pumps that prevented ground water from filling the mine were turned off. The mine is colossal: three levels; going down hundreds of feet from the surface; vault rooms (anyone one of which would dwarf the Lost Sea in its entirety); crystalline clear 58 degree water. It’s an area so vast, I would estimate that less than one percent is allowed accessible by virtue of the area needed to be searched should someone lose their way.

David D. Fihn, Sr. Janis Hashe responds: The Lost Sea story reported that its operators claim it to be the “world’s largest underground lake”, a claim that was playfully referred to as possibly specious in the story. Also, there is a big difference between a man-made lake and one naturally occurring. No one actually appears to know what the world’s largest is, and we hope that will be the case for some time to come. www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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NEWS

Crime & Punishment A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• Women in Dalton are urged to be on the lookout, or rather, on the “don’t lookout” after a man decided he’s as proud as he can be of his anatomy. Two women in the North Georgia city called police after they were approached by a man who appeared to be in his late 20s. The two women, who had been walking along Tibbs Road between the interstate bridge and a local church, were very startled when the man dropped his trousers and exposed himself to them. They told officers the man began to run towards them, at which point they immediately ran away. The man quickly gave up the chase, most likely due to the difficulty in running while wearing pants at half-mast. Officers searched the wooded area nearby, but were unable to locate anybody, flasher or otherwise. They do advise women to be on alert when walking in the area, and suggest using a cell phone camera to snap a picture of the suspect’s face (just the face, please) if he strikes again.

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• One of the most preventable causes of vehicular accidents are those caused by drunk drivers. With that in mind, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office announced that it will join nearly 10,000 other law enforcement agencies nationwide in support of an intensive crackdown on impaired driving August 19–September 5, known as “Booze It & Lose It.” Data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration shows the number of alcoholimpaired-driving fatalities in America fell from 2008 to 2009, but the numbers are still too high. Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office said its deputies will be aggressively looking for all impaired drivers during the crackdown and will arrest anyone they find driving while impaired—regardless of age, vehicle type or time of day. The crackdown will include law enforcement officers in every state, Washington, D.C., and many U.S. cities and towns.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

• The former owner of a popular Dalton package delivery store is in even more trouble. The man, who was arrested back in May, and accused of stealing gift cards intended for victims of the April tornados, is now facing new charges of theft. As part of the continuing investigation started by the gift-card thefts, Dalton detectives working with Whitfield County investigators discovered the man apparently intercepted a number of packages—and kept them. A search warrant was issued for his home, where officers recovered a number of items that had been reported stolen, including a computer, a Wii game console, a jacket, and more than 30 bottles of imported wine that were reported missing. They also recovered nearly 60 Red Box DVDs at the residence that were also found to be stolen.

The man now faces a veritable laundry list of felony theft charges.

• When the friendly police officer has the road blocked, there’s generally a very good reason. Which is why it’s never a good idea to ignore the car, the flashing lights on the roof, and the officer frantically waving his arms at you as you drive around him to continue on your merry way. But unbelievable as it may sound, that’s exactly what an East Ridge driver did when he came upon an officer blocking traffic leading to the Ringgold Road tunnel. The tunnel had been closed down after a tractor trailer became wedged just inside the entrance. The officer, afraid the clueless driver would run into the stuck truck, hopped into his patrol car and gave chase…only to run into the nowstopped driver as he came around the blind curve at the entrance of the tunnel. And while both the officer and oblivious driver were taken to local hospitals to be checked out, neither was seriously injured.

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COVER STORY

Williams Island Farm

Williams Island Farm is an experiment in low tech and high quality

Back to the Land in the River Story by Lauren Haynes • Photography by Josh Lang

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“Archaeological research shows that the island has been inhabited for more than 15,000 years, but for the most part no one in Chattanooga has even heard of it.”

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

In a city of natural wonder, Williams Island is a hidden gem. Archaeo-

logical research shows that the island has been inhabited for more than 15,000 years, but for the most part no one in Chattanooga has even heard of it. Situated in the Tennessee River Gorge, it is essentially behind Baylor in Red Bank and downstream from Moccasin Bend. In addition to having been continually farmed for centuries, Williams Island has been a refuge for moonshiners, Union soldiers, and train thieves.

Native Americans sowed crops there 12,000 years ago. In the 1860s, plantation owner Samuel Williams built his own farm on this island. His descendents opened the land to tenant farmers, who built a small village that was later ravaged by fire. Now the island houses a cattle ranch and an organic farm. A diamond in the rough.

COVER STORY

Williams Island Farm

The 400-plus acre island is owned by the state of Tennessee’s Division of Archaeology, and governed by the Tennessee River Gorge Trust. Twenty-two acres of the island are under yearly lease

by Larry Roberts, who teaches multiple science courses at Baylor, from sustainability to physics, and who also co-founded the school’s Walkabout outdoor club.

Roberts jumped at the chance to lease the land in 2006, dreaming of starting a farm that could eventually be integrated into the curriculum and experience of being a Baylor student. “I was hoping that the farm could be a place to show kids where their food is coming from, and the difference between a tomato picked from the vine and a tomato from Bi-Lo,” says Roberts.

Having limited farming skills himself, Roberts enlisted the help of long-time

friend and Sequatchie Cove farmer Bill Keener to find suitable farming prospects. As it happened, Keener’s son was simultaneously finishing up at the University of California Santa Cruz Institute of Sustainable Agro-ecology, and was ready to move back home to spearhead the Williams Island effort with help from some of his UCSC cohorts. Kelsey Keener, Noah Bressler and Ryan Power became the first farmers in January of 2007, with Ashley Baggett joining later. “They’re the primary reasons for the farm’s success,” says Roberts.

The first batch of farmers is long gone, with the last having left this past November. Richard Candler and Mary Beth Sanders are acting managers for the farm, Richard having joined the farm last summer. Candler is 25, from Newnan, Georgia, where his uncle has a farm, and moved up here to

“Roberts jumped at the chance to lease the land in 2006, dreaming of starting a farm that could eventually be integrated into the curriculum and experience of being a Baylor student.”

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COVER STORY

Williams Island Farm

work at Williams Island, which he heard about via the Keeners. Sanders is 33, a Chattanooga native who went to CSAS high school and has taught art the Creative Discovery Museum, among other places. And rounding out this motley crew is Landon Blankenship, a 21-yearold transplant from Collierville, Tennessee who moved to Chattanooga to work at Williams Island in April.

The transition from town to the island is entirely quaint—a boat to an island to a dock to a trail to a field with some buildings and an Airstream trailer. There is a room with a kitchen and no doors where the residents make food and keep tadpoles in Mason jars. There is a greenhouse and a shed, a flower garden and a packing room. There’s also an outdoor shower, built out of wood from an old goat pen and a solar panel for energy. Candler and Blankenship live on the island alone, in A-frames out in the woods. When not busy farming,

the three farmers can be found drinking whiskey, catching bugs, or stoking bonfires.

The farm work takes a lot of their time, though, and three days a week volunteers and work shares come help harvest or do other tasks. Since the island is an archaeological preserve, keeping up the land is part of the deal.

“We try to let people do whatever they’re good at,” says Blankenship.

“That could be anything, like fixing broken things around the farm. It’s kind of a unique situation.

Most people just help harvest.” Sanders agrees.

“Everyone comes here for different reasons and to learn different things,” she says.

Another facet of Williams Island is its present use as an incubator for young farmers. The farmers there now all want to keep going into the future, but none can say they’ll stay at Williams for sure. “I’d like to but I really want to travel,” says Blankenship, who went to the Univer-

“There is a room with a kitchen and no doors where the residents make food and keep tadpoles in Mason jars.”

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

COVER STORY

Williams Island Farm

sity of Memphis for soil science. “I feel like I’m learning way more here than I would in any kind of school as far as getting real experience. And I treat this experience as learning how to run a business.” Sanders agrees that she is here to learn how to run a farm. “I have land that I was going to start farming but it got kind of wrecked by the tornadoes,” she says.

Candler also explains that although there seem to be a lot of farms in the Chattanooga area, there isn’t much competition between any of them. There is lots of variety, especially at the markets, he says. Williams Island specializes in growing root plants, for example. Candler said the soil on Williams Island is very fertile, being in the gorge, and has no rocks, which makes it prime for growing root plants such as parsnips, beets, carrots and potatoes.

So they grow and sell lots of root plants, but also tomatoes, peppers, melons, on and on. Markets are the primary source of income for the farm, but they also sell to several restaurants such as St. John’s and Lupi’s, who make an effort to use fresh and local produce.

The farm is leased yearly, and the upcoming renewal had the farmers on edge. They heard Larry Roberts was retiring, and that Baylor was ready to integrate. However, Roberts confirms that nothing was on the immediate horizon. He said Baylor has done nothing except express an extreme interest in the future of the farm and the eventual and inevitable integration of their

setbacks, but now it looks as if Baylor School will take over the farm. We hope this means that Baylor students will help propagate plants in the greenhouse, transplant those plants to the fields, weed and harvest, and then have those vegetables served in the school dining hall.”

He says the educational potential of the farm is tremendous, both for the community and the students at Baylor. They will be able to use it in so many different ways and learn so many different things, he says. They are thinking about making part of the island a campground in the future, which the public would have access to. The possibilities are wide and open, he explains.

Life on the farm is no walk in the park. It’s lots of hard work, hot days and sweaty nights. But hopefully the community can appreciate the value in having dedicated farmers providing them with fresh produce, meats and everything else farmers from the area have to offer.

The Williams Island farmers and produce can be found at the Main Street Market on Wednesday, Signal Mountain Market on Thursday, school and the island farm, which is and the Brainerd Market on Saturday. what he envisioned from the get-go.

“When I leased the farm I hoped in Don’t be shy—ask how to get involved a fairly short period of time that the and see the island for yourself. Seeing school would see the benefit of hav- is believing.

To learn more about the Williams Island ing the farm as part of the school’s culture and integrate into the cur- Farm, visit www.williamsislandfarm.com, riculum,” he says. “I have actively been their blog at williamsislandfarm.blogspot. promoting the farm to the school since com or email them at williamsislandthe beginning. There have been a few farn@gmail.com

“Another facet of Williams Island is its present use as an incubator for young farmers. The farmers there now all want to keep going into the future, but none can say they’ll stay at Williams for sure.”

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

On The Beat

GPS…MIA…LOL I

quit training rookies before there were Global Positioning Systems (GPS, for short).

Come to think of it, I also quit training rookies before Bush 43 was president…but that upsets me because it doesn’t allow me to blame any failures solely upon the fact of his existence at the time.

Were I to be training one with such a tool now, however, I wouldn’t stomp it in the gutter, but I would ask them to leave it behind or to leave it off.

I actually quit the Field Training Program because I was too nice, but that’s another story and one too obvious for the need to put pen to paper. What brings the topic of directions to mind, though, is seeing what happened to another new guy when he left his precious GPS at home one day while in Field Training.

We were wasting taxpayer money by dining with one another (as families tend to do) when he got a call, and he gave the prerequisite glance to his training officer of, “We Go Now, Right, Boss?” to which every T.O. in the history of motorized policing has responded, “Well?! Move!”.

(The fact that moving too quickly and interrupting their lunch would merit a far more harsh response went without saying and created a Catch-22 for them, but that’s irrelevant; being taught you’re screwed no matter what was both a lesson in policing and working for city government in general. Ask any of us.)

It was a domestic and another car had been dispatched with him, but I followed them out to tag along as is our oft-questioned custom since the public knew that every call only needed two officers, ever. Unless it required more, which was our problem.

Young Buck walked confidently to his (boss’s) car, plopped into the driver’s seat, then reached for the empty space on the left side of the dash where his GPS unit was

normally suctioned to the windshield, and found it missing. He kind of froze, his hand touching the empty space above the dusty dashboard, as if willing a Gamin to materialize from the errant trash and grime.

I slowed my pace and grinned so as to offset my distraction. Seeing his expression reminded me of a scene from the 1998 Pixar movie A Bug’s Life in which a falling leaf interrupted a column of ants, the first one crying, “I’M LOST! Where’s the line? What do I do?!” He was dumbfounded. I saw him break his stare to glance over at his FTO who, for the second time in as many minutes, said, “Well?! Move!”

When I started (and no, it wasn’t all that long ago), “GPS” consisted of a small orange paperback book that read in plain black lettering “CHATTANOOGA STREETS AND HOW TO GET THERE.” It was published locally and sold the same, and is so out-of-date that Google can’t even reference it. Can you believe it?

You could look up the name of the street you were being sent to and it would tell you, to the nearest block number (if large enough, such as a state highway or major artery) where the closest cross street was, and in later editions, the two streets it was nearest to.

This was incredibly helpful unless you didn’t recognize the cross street and then had to look it up, too, which could invariably lead to yet a third cross reference, and then a fourth. (My record was 7, by which time I’d forgotten the original address.) It was also frustrating when the cross street was listed as the actual Cross Street,

Alex Teach

but that was rare, being such a nice part of town and all. (*Author’s note: Every cop reading this with more than 10 years OTJ is grinning and nodding as he or she reads this; I bet my coal-black desiccated soul.)

Sure, there were maps, but looking up the grid reference in the back of the book, then flipping to that page led to similar bouts of doubt and confusion, but it was at least better than the other hapless (and cheap-ass) souls who decided to use the infamous “multi-folded maps” made apparently of tissue paper that never re-folded correctly, and ultimately led them to lining a garbage can or warming a bum on cold nights before they learned what every good cop learns: Memorize the streets you work. Period.

In this case the Rookie eventually regained muscle control and moved, following another police car he hoped was on the right path (and the source of yet another On the Beat column’s material one day), but I had to admit…it was a touching moment of nostalgia.

I was American Graffiti to his American Pie and we eventually got there as we always did, but damn…The technology changes, but the brains always stay the same.

“Cops.”

“Seeing his expression reminded me of a scene from the 1998 Pixar movie A Bug’s Life in which a falling leaf interrupted a column of ants.”

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

ARTS

Feature

Trent Creswell’s Dramatic Life

By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor

I

f you had said to Trent Creswell three years ago that he would be celebrating a reading of his play A House Should Have the Look of Shelter by New York City’s Rattlestick Theater as part of its F*cking Good Plays Festival, he might not have responded at all. That’s because three years ago, Trent was lying in the trauma center at Erlanger Medical Center, his life having nearly been ended in a devastating accident. A car crossed two lanes of traffic and barreled into him on his bicycle.

According to an article on Erlanger’s website, “His injuries were extensive; two broken legs, broken pelvis, broken elbow, arm, four vertebra, and jaw. But the most devastating and life threatening injuries were to his face.

“According to Trent’s mother, Jinger Wadel, plastic surgeon Dr. Mark Brzezienski explained that Trent’s face was crushed and had been literally ‘ripped off.’ Their initial surgical goal was to put it back in place.

“Trent initially spent over eight hours in surgery while Erlanger’s trauma and orthopedic surgeons pieced his broken body back together. He spent the first two and a half

“The full-length piece was read along with work by such well-known contemporary playwrights as Ken Urban, and Trent hopes Rattlestick will want to do a full-fledged production.”

weeks of his nearly three-month hospital stay in the Trauma Intensive Care Unit in a medically induced coma to allow his body to begin to heal.”

Prior to the accident, the then17-year-old had been a standout student at the Center for Creative Arts. He’d been a musical theatre major, a member of the Choo Choo Kids performing group, and had also begun experimenting with writing. Now there were questions about brain damage and whether he would ever walk again.

But amazingly, six weeks after the accident, Trent began to walk.

There was no permanent brain damage, and he began to chronicle his experiences in a journal.

Again, from the Erlanger article: “Excerpts from his journal were entered in the National Foundation for Advancement in the Arts (NFAA) YoungArts competition. He was chosen in the top 140 artists in the country from over 6,000 entries and was awarded a weeklong YoungARTS trip to Miami for workshops and classes. As a result of his week there, he was awarded a silver medal and along with 39 other winners will go to New York in April 2009 for a week of intensive work at the Baryshnikov Center. He has also been nominated by the NFAA as one of twenty Presidential Scholars in the Arts.”

David Karnes and I spoke with Trent during an interview on the radio show we co-host weekdays on WPLZ 95.3. He was in NYC, preparing for his reading, which

took place on August 3. This play, he told us, was written during his time at the Edward F. Albee Foundation in Montauk, New York. The author of Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and The Goat was in residency. “He would come in to deliver the mail,” Trent revealed, “and he read all the plays at the end of the fellowship.”

A House Should Have the Look of Shelter is “about marriage,” he said, “and how sometimes divorce is a good thing.” The full-length piece was read along with work by such well-known contemporary playwrights as Ken Urban, and Trent hopes Rattlestick will want to do a full-fledged production.

Given the remarkable story of this young artist so far, no one would be surprised if that’s ex-

actly what happens.

Lake Woebegon Alert: If you’re a Garrison Keillor fan, heads up that his “Prairie Home Companion Summer Love Tour” is coming to the Memorial on September 9. This show will not be a “Prairie Home” broadcast, but you’ll still get to hear (and see!) Guy Noir, Private Eye, Cowboys Dusty and Lefty, and “all the latest news from Lake Wobegon”, where, as we know, “all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.”

Tickets go on sale August 8 at the Memorial box office, by phone at (423) 642-8497 and online at www. chattanoogaonstage.com

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ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

Cowboys & Aliens

The title says it all.

1:10, 4, 6:50, 9:40 p.m.

Majestic 12 Theater, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375. www.carmike.com

Thursday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Opening Reception: “All Themes Considered” 4 p.m. Reflections Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072. www.reflectionsgallerytn.com All American Summer Music Series 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

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Friday

Youth Health Explosion 8 a.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Fresh on Fridays Marketplace 11 a.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

Opening Reception: “Sea to See” 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214. www.intowngallery.com Born to be Wild 3D 6, 8 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Opening Reception: “Reflections” 6:30 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 7, 9 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Mystery of Flight 138 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448.

Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, GA. (706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com Stand Up Comedy! Tim Northern 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Showbar, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Saturday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.

Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com Art till Dark Noon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.com Rock City Summer Music Series Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com Luau Open House Noon. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy. (706) 937-9860. www.georgiawines.com Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming 1 p.m. The Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold.

(706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org

Chattanooga Youth’s Got Talent Search Contest

Grand prize-winner gets to record a single and other cool prizes.

Free for kids, $1 adults 5 - 9 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

Arts Live: Theatre Games 2 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043.

Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Born to be Wild 3D 6, 8 p.m.I MAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 7, 9 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Riverfront Nights 7:30 p.m. Ross Landing Park, Riverfront Pkwy. www.riverfrontnights.com Smoke on the Mountain Homecoming 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade Center, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold.

(706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org

ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar

SATURDAY

“Reflections”

New show features artists Linda Stokes, Bill Suttles, Gary Young..

Free 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.

River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, ext. 5. www.river-gallery.com Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille. 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Chattanooga Ghost Hunt 9:30 p.m. Patten Chapel, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 821-7125.

Stand Up Comedy! Tim Northern 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Showbar, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket.com

SUNDAY

Rock City Summer Music Series Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com First Free Sunday Noon. Hunter Museum of Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Master Hypnotist Gary Conrad 5:30, 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille. 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448.

Movie Night 8 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Cafe, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224.

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Monday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448.

92nd Street Y Lecture Series 7:30 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchattanooga.com The Dorian Consort 7:30 p.m. Southern Adventist University, 4881 Taylor Crl., Collegedale. (800) 768-8437.

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Tuesday

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Wednesday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448.

Dogs on the Diamond - Lookouts vs. Birmingham Barons 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Ongoing

Chattanooga Fiber Arts Group Exhibition North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102.

(423) 870-8924.

“All Themes Considered” Reflections Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072. www.reflectionsgallerytn.com

Open Improv Jam

For dancers, musicians, spoken-word artists. $2 3 – 5 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org “Between the States” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Kunstmuseum Wolfsburg at the Hunter Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org “Beverly Semmes: Starcraft” Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Bob The Builder - Project: Build It Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org “Reflections” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com “American Dreams” Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www. shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Sea to See” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Feature

No Free Lunch—But How About Free Music?

By Tara V, Pulse Music Writer

T

his weekend, we will have no excuse (except the heat) to not dance to the music. Luckily, in the South, we know the secret to beating the heat. Not only do our accents slow down, but so does our walk as the sweet tea goes down faster and the rhythmic waves climb from our toes to the soul in order to prove that a lot of movement is not required to appreciate the music around us.

Only the trickle of sweat and a closed-eye smile from feeling the vibrations is needed.

Accompanied by an occasional clapping of the hands, this is what summer means to many of us here in our city between the bridges. As our economy is torn between the rich, the poor, and those who still think we are middle class, the budget can be tight and we need a break!

This weekend, Chattanooga will offer many free shows and with our wallets tightening and support still needed, this makes the perfect friendand-family weekend on a budget.

Friday night hosts our Nightfall Music Series at Miller Plaza. Headlining will be The Mingo Fishtrap. Mingo Fishtrap is a N’awlins style band imbued with horn-fuel Motown flavors and

“Starting out this monthlong series will be The Revival, who provide an Allman Brothers experience.

Opening will be the local group Nothing and The Nobodies.”

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gutbucket soul.

They have played with artists such as Sting, Blues Traveler, Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Johnny Lang and more.

Opening is our local band The Danny Sample Band featuring Marcenia.

Following Nightfall, the Lindsay Street Hall will have Endelouz performing. This is a family-friendly event held outdoors for those who aren’t quite ready to go home and want to continue the open-air style of music. LSH has recently become a 501(c)(3) nonprofit with the mission to inspire the Chattanooga community to celebrate and build on its musical heritage through education and innovation. The show after Nightfall will not be free—but will have free beer with a $5 donation at the door. Budweiser of Chattanooga and A Hand Family Company are sponsoring the event.

On Saturday, the Chattanooga River Market will host the Uptown Big Band. Held from noon to 4 p.m. each Saturday at the Aquarium Plaza, the River Market is a smaller version of the Chattanooga Market. The Uptown Big Band has been performing both traditional and modern big-band jazz for more than 15 years. Under the direction of Don Dameron, the band provides Chattanooga and the surrounding area with the great sounds of Benny Goodman, Glenn Miller, Tommy Dorsey, Count Basie, as well as the more modern arrangements of Tom Kubis, Gorden Goodwin, Bill Liston and other great

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

writers and arrangers.

Every Saturday until Labor Day, The Incline hosts a music series from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. in St. Elmo. This week, Ogya will be performing world music that will have the whole family dancing. Ogya has performed at Bonnaroo for many years and is an amazing addition to our musical community.

When twilight falls, head to the Chattanooga Green for Riverfront Nights. Starting out this month-long series will be The Revival, who provide an Allman Brothers experience. Opening will be the local group Nothing and The Nobodies.

On Sunday, the Hunter Museum will host its monthly First Free Sunday. This month, local Jennifer Daniels will be performing and your entire family will get in free to experience our Hunter Museum of American Art as well as a long-time local songstress.

If you choose to do your local shopping on Sunday, then the Chattanooga Market will feature the Gaining Ground Harvest Initiative, and manager Paul Smith was very excited to tell me about the band Bucktown KickBack returning to The First Tennessee Pavilion.

So, there is no excuse!

Get out and see that free music! Take your friends and family, but don’t forget to buy a CD, T-shirt or sticker.

Musicians have to pay for that sweet tea, too.

MUSIC

New Music Reviews

There’s been much moaning and groaning about how the music industry has been going to pot in the last decade or so, with its decline being fueled by widespread illegal downloads, greed, shoddy product, the loudness war, listener fatigue, and so on. Apparently, Chattanooga never got the memo; there’s been a recent healthy flurry of local releases, demonstrating that the recording arts still mean something in this town. Sure, the music itself matters the most; call me old-fashioned, but there’s still something special and exciting about holding a new record or CD in your hand (and I fear the day when that is no longer true). And you haven’t lived until you’ve spent a late night with a select group of friends, going through a stack of great records.

Here’s a rundown of several notable summer releases from our fair city.

Reeve Hunter (www.reevehunter.com) is a oneman band, serving up quirky, playful strum-and-sing pop songs with orchestrations of toys, 8-bit video game sounds, and a multitude of electronic beeps.

John Perry (johnperry.bandcamp.com) is a kindred spirit, with synthetic dance-pop/hip-hop offerings and sonic eccentricities that keep you guessing.

Hunter and Perry combine their solo EPs into a split album (or double EP, if you prefer), produced by Summer Dregs, the studio party brainchild of keyboardist Carl Cadwell of Infradig and The Distribution. Other members of The Distribution lend their talents, including drummer Josh Green on Hunter’s toy piano/accordion-accented “Most Boats Float” and soul-funk vocalist Michelle Higgins, tag-teaming with Perry on the relentless hip-hop number “In the Buff.” Partially recorded by Stephen Nichols at his As Elyzum studio, the 10-song release has an infectious spirit and a resolutely weird yet confident attitude that is endearing in a goofy way.

The self-titled, self-released debut album from Prophets & Kings (prophetsandkings.net) is packed with driving, fist-pumping, sonically dense electro with a bevy of distorted beats and roughed-up notes and samples; the approach is the successor of industrial and electroclash styles, substituting darkness with a buoyant mood that’s propulsive. Featuring the anthemic vocals of Stratton Tingle, guitarist and keyboard player Jon-Michael Brown, drummer Eric Lisica and bassist Travis Ringstaff, the album carries an urgent, dance-oriented manner, punctuated with complicated tracks like “Eunuch” which constantly transforms itself, from lo-fi strumming to synthstring soundtracks with blasts of static. “Misery Haunts” begins with relaxed, wind-swept vocals before shifting into electronic mode, amid bloops and artificial drumbeat fuzz. It’s a stimulating and restless album of pure kinetic energy.

On the other side of the electronic music spectrum is the new album from Slow Head (slowhead. tumblr.com) entitled Night Glitters on Disaro Records. These instrumental tracks are often deceptive, ranging from soothing, ambient mysteries like

“Curtains” to amalgams like “The Glade Riot” with spacey atmospherics and time-warped, stuttering sound fragments. “Haint Circles” contrasts nursery room chimes with jarring beats and threatening synth notes, conveying a foreboding uneasiness, and “Cut Through the Mist with a Lantern” uses disembodied samples that cut in and out, among reverberating piano notes and reserved, minimalist hip-hop beats. It’s a good cool-down, 3 a.m. chill-out room electronica album, perfect to cap off a night of musical discoveries.

Big Kitty’s (bigkitty.bandcamp.com) previous release, the 7-inch single “Waterfall of Love,” was an enchanting bit of homespun folk-pop, but it was just a warm-up. The new 11-track album Florence, available on vinyl on punk/D.I.Y. label Recess Records, is a superb, fully realized effort with full band arrangements in a country-folk-rock fashion, brimming with details and flourishes like eerie singing saw glides and flute flutters. Front man and songwriter Clark Williams sings with his distinctive, earthy and nasal voice with an unabashed southern drawl, accompanied by musicians from Chattanooga’s folk and punk scenes.

Cohorts include Williams’s partner Yuriko Hoshino, Daniel Binkley (New Binkley Brothers), Billy Joe Johnson and Cole Champion from Future Virgins, and multi-instrumentalist Amanda Cagle. Tracks such as “Decades of Trouble” and “Milky Way” serve up irresistible earworm melodies, while rousing stompers like “Reincarnival” and “Nibiru,” about an alien encounter, are representative of Big Kitty’s off-kilter charm.

Folk School of Chattanooga co-founder Christie Burns (www.christieburns.com) steps out with her debut solo album Wildwood Flower with a bouquet of traditional standards and three Burns originals. On her instrument of choice, the hammered dulcimer, she plays ringing notes with an easygoing, freely flowing style, and her vocal delivery is naturally pretty and clear, without affectations. Joining her are various local folk stalwarts, including Folk School partner Matt Evans on banjo and Lynn Wamp on upright bass, and other versatile talent such as drummer Bob Stagner (Shaking Ray Levis) and bassist Evan Lipson. It’s hard to quibble about these fussfree numbers, pristinely recorded by Charles Allison at Spanner Sound, but actually, a few more Burns-penned songs would be welcome for the next go-around. The recipes may be simple, but the ingredients are fresh and flavorful.

Drawing influence from acts such as Neil Young, The Flaming Lips, and My Morning Jacket, the fivepiece outfit The Velvet Hand (www.facebook.com/ thevelvethand) shows more ambition than your average rock band on its self-titled debut album, with material that has been in development since the group formed six years ago. A sort of concept album with an astronaut/cosmic exploration theme, it sports an expansive rock approach (think early-tomid-’70s Pink Floyd) with multiple diversions along the way, suggesting unfettered weightless voyaging; the key inclusion of a saxophone in the instrumentation helps to distinguish the band’s sonic identity, with an earnest post-post-“Baker Street”-type jazzrock balladry. — Ernie Paik www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Concert Calendar

THURSDAY

Leticia Wolf

She’s been called “the female Johnny Cash.” $7 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Thursday

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Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Audience Choice Night 7 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Blues Jam with Rick Rushing 7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Billy Hopkins 8 p.m. Southside Saloon and Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Gentlemens Jazz Quartet 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Summer Hullender 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

FRIDAY

Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Troy Underwood 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Find them on Facebook.

Leticia Wolf 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Telemonster 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Friday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com/localevents Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

The Danny Sample Band featuring Marcenia 7 p.m. Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza., MLK, Jr. Blvd. www.nightfallchattanooga.com Live DJ Party 7 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com Mingo Fishtrap 8 p.m. Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza, MLK, Jr. Blvd www.nightfallchattanooga.com

Cartographer CD Release with In This Hour, Axiom, Encounters, Glory Denied 8 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Channing Wilson 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com The Nim Nims, Holy Smokes 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Todd Weaver 9 p.m. Raw Sushi Bar, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 East Brainerd Rd. (423) 648-6679.

Erick Baker and John Gallen 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Funktion 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com John Lathim 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Karaoke & Dancing 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883.

Saturday

Ogya 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-9056. www.ridetheincline.com

The Nim Nims, Holy Smokes

Dark local rock with songs like “Pills” and an album called Patten Towers. $7 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. Jill Jack 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, Tennessee Aquarium Place, 1 Broad Street.

Battle of the Bands 1 p.m. Village Sports Bar & Grill, 78 Fieldstone Village Dr., Rock Spring. www.balloonsandtunesfestival.com Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com/localevents Riverfront Nights: Revival 6 p.m. 21st Century Waterfront. www.riverfrontnights.com Sabrina and Jenn Franklin 6 p.m. Good Dog, 34 Frazier Ave. (423) 475-6175. www.eatatgooddog.com Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

MUSIC

Concert Calendar

SATURDAY

Sabrina and Jenn Franklin

Two Nashville singersongwriters grace the cutest venue in town.

Free 9 p.m.

Good Dog, 34 Frazier Ave. (423) 475-6175. www.eatatgooddog.com Steppin’ on Coles 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold.

(706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Four year MST anniversary featuring Slim Pickins, Glowing Bordis and Toneharm 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Jordan Hallquist 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Find them on Facebook.

EG Kight and Paul Hornsby 9 p.m. Tropicana Room (inside Chattanooga Billiards East), 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com Critty Upchurch 9 p.m. Raw Sushi Bar, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Nightmoves: Neon Beach Night 10 p.m. 412 Market (the Bassment), 412 Market St. Find them on Facebook.

SUNDAY

Billy Hopkins 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com The Breakfast Club 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com

Sunday

New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. www.seerockcity.com Mawre and Company 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com Bucktown Kickback 1:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. Summertown 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com Irish Music Session 3 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Open Improvisational Jam 3 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Free Range Mystics 3 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Summer COUNTERPOINT 5 p.m. First Baptist Church, 401 Gateway Ave. (423) 774-6252.

Summer COUNTERPOINT

Open Mic with Mike McDade 7 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

John Lathim and Company 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com 10 Years with Maylene & the Sons of Disaster, Echoes the Fall 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996.

Monday

Wednesday

Mountain Music 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Music Mondays 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

Tuesday

Tir Asleen, Comrades, Stillglow 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Southside Casual Classics 8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com

A summer chamber music series from the man behind the New Dischord Festival. $10 ($5 students) 5 p.m.

First Baptist Church, 401 Gateway Ave. (423) 774-6252.

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Prime Cut Trio 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

The Compromise 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Jenntastic Wednesdays 9 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695. www.holidaybowlbrainerd.com Jordan Hallquist 9:30 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

Life In The ‘Noog

Baby, You Can Drive My Car M

y daughter is about to turn 16, so lately she’s been dragged around by her grandfather to test-drive various cars and find the one she likes best (based upon her infinite knowledge of comfort, reliability and performance). In the end, they settled on a 2004 Toyota Highlander.

Since she can’t drive just yet, the Highlander made it over to my house for safekeeping (and periodic driving) until it was time to blow out the 16 candles.

Since I’ve spent the last eight years rolling up windows and locking doors by hand on my old pick-up truck, her sweet new ride prompted me to get myself a 2005 Toyota 4Runner. It’s like a Cadillac that can pull a houseboat. V8 engine, fourwheel drive, leather, moon roof, premium sound system, power everything—hell, it even has cup holders that light up at night so you don’t spill your “milk.”

I wasn’t around when my daughter’s Highlander was purchased in Knoxville, so my dad bought it in his name. The plan was to transfer the title to me, and I would then register it and get car insurance in my name (for my daughter). Meanwhile I had purchased the 4Runner in Atlanta in my name, but not in my state. It was all a mess to be sorted out at some point with the “help” of the DMV. My father phoned me one day and said that something had come in the mail that looked like a title for the Highlander, so we’d better get down to the courthouse.

And, since I remembered the Carmax people saying something about sending my title directly to the courthouse, I thought we’d kill two birds with one stone and get the 4Runner registered as well.

First, however, I had to run both of the cars through the emissions lanes.

Now, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that somewhere down the line a wheel tax was vetoed by the public so the county decided to make up the deficit by requiring everyone to pay $10 so they could make sure your car has a gas tank.

When we finally made it to the

Chuck Crowder

“Hearing that deal about the license plates got me thinking about how I could cut a corner (that would remain unveiled without my inquiry) the next time around.”

courthouse, my dad went up to the clerk’s window first. While he’d properly filled out the form transferring the title to me, the official-looking document he thought was a title signed over to him from the dealership was just a certificate (suitable for framing) stating a title had been requested from the state. So, he couldn’t transfer it to me yet.

However, since the temporary tags had expired and the car wasn’t registered, he went ahead and performed those tasks in his name. The helpful county clerk then informed me that when the actual title came in and was signed over to me that I would have to go through the same process—including the emissions lane again—in order to register the car in my name. The tags dad just purchased cannot

be transferred to me along with the title, but my dad was welcome to transfer those tags to another car in his name if one of his other tags was about to expire.

Now it was my turn. I informed the clerk that my title had been delivered (likely overnighted) to the courthouse by the good folks at Carmax and if he would just go back there and locate it we could get my car registered. “Did you get a call from us,” he asked. “No.” “Did you finance the car or pay cash?” “Cash.”

“Well then, sir, the title will come to your house, not the courthouse.” Outta luck.

However, hearing that deal about the license plates got me thinking about how I could cut a corner (that would remain unveiled without my inquiry) the next time around.

“Now, you said that one could transfer tags in their name from one car to another, right?” “Right.” “I have a pickup truck I’m selling with current tags, so if I transfer them to the Highlander, I don’t have to run the car through the $10 emissions lane again or pay another $35 for more plates, right?” “Right.” A minor victory.

Now all we have to do is wait for Tennessee to send my dad the Highlander title so he can sign it over to me so I can transfer the pick-up truck’s tags to it and then drive it out to East Brainerd Road and my insurance man can have a look-see. Then, when Carmax sends me a Georgia title for my car, I can transfer it to a Tennessee title, pay sales tax, then register it and get tags (maybe even vanity plates), and then drive it out to East Brainerd Road so my insurance man can have a look-see at it, too. Of course, this means the pick-up truck (for sale if you’re interested) won’t have tags so test drives will be a bitch. While this all sounds like a logistical nightmare, I can’t say that I’m not enjoying the ride.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Dining Out In Chattanooga

Sitar Brings Indian Cuisine to Downtown

By D.E. Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer • Photography by Josh Lang

After six years in their location off Highway 153, Sitar Indian Cuisine has moved downtown, to the ground floor at 200 Market Street. Why the move?

“Our customers have been asking us for years,” Bittu, the affable owner, told me. “It’s a lot closer for a quick business lunch. Plus, there’s more traffic in general, and we’re close to campus now.”

In school at UTK, I frequented Sitar on Kingston Pike in Knoxville for lunch. It was a lot better deal than fast food, and much tastier to boot. I was excited when Bittu told me that the same family runs both restaurants, as well as others in Nashville, Kentucky and Alabama. That doesn’t happen by accident, and should be your first sign that they’re doing things right.

Brightly painted walls, lit by chandeliers, greet you when you enter. The tables are smartly set, with white cloth napkins bursting out of glasses atop maroon tablecloths. When I visited, the lunch buffet was set in the back right corner, with various North Indian specialties exerting a magical pull on everyone there. The full menu is also available, but probably isn’t necessary unless you’ve got a hankering for something in particular.

My first trip to the buffet resulted in a fresh plate with a green salad I dressed with raita (a yogurt-based sauce) and bhel puri, a salad of soft puffed rice with small pieces of red onion and tomato. The same bar held a variety of sauces, as well as slices of watermelon.

Both white rice and rice pulao are available: I always go for the pulao, studded with green

and was fantastic.

The delicious chicken curry and the creamy jal-frozi were both fairly mild in terms of spice, and would be great starting points for someone unfamiliar with Indian cuisine. Most dishes are described on placards above them on the buffet, which help the newcomer, as well. If you have any questions, just ask the staff!

There were more options, but I was beyond stuffed at this point, as I’m sure you’ll be if you stop in. That feeling won’t be exclusive to the buffet, though—dinner portions are generous.

(I always took leftovers home back in college.)

Highlights on the menu include lamb korma, chicken tikka masala, and the mixed grill, which includes lamb, chicken, and shrimp. The garlic naan bread is truly a wonder to behold, and I highly recommend ordering it with any dish. You won’t be disappointed. Domestic and Indian beers are available alongside wine, with liquor drinks coming soon. Sitar even takes part in Dinner Delivered, in case you can’t make it downtown.

Whether you love Indian food or haven’t yet tasted your first bite, a trip to Sitar will be well worth your while. They’ve been thrilling palates in Chattanooga and around the South for years, and are looking forward to the opportunity to do more of the same downtown.

“The lunch buffet was set in the back right corner, with various North Indian specialties exerting a magical pull on everyone there.” peas and kissed with cumin. With my first scoop, I chose two vegetarian options—sag panir and dal makhani. Sag panir is a spinach dish made with fresh cheese, providing a thick consistency and a savory and satisfying flavor. Dal makhani is a lentil entrée, slightly spicy with a hint of sweetness. I cleaned my plate, scooping both up with a piece of naan, a soft and fluffy unleavened bread. Another plate brought aloo beans, a spicy potato and green bean dish, and crispy, crunchy vegetable fritters called pakora to finish up my vegetarian foray.

Then came more naan, more rice pulao, and the meat dishes. On my visit, these included tandoori chicken, as well as a chicken curry and chicken jal-frozi. The tandoori chicken, with its bright red color and almost smoky flavor, is reminiscent of a summer barbecue,

Sitar Indian Cuisine, 200 Market Street.

Lunch: Monday to Friday, 11 a.m. to 2:30 p.m., Saturday and Sunday, 11:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. Dinner: 7 days a week, 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.

Call (423) 894-9696 for more information.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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SCREEN

Film Feature

Three Cheers for Captain America

By John DeVore, Pulse Film Critic

F

or the past few years, audiences have been treated to several prequel films that are setting up what might be the largest film event in recent memory. The Avengers is highly anticipated, meant to be the culmination in the medium of comic-book movies, a movie to define the genre and defeat all opponents. To achieve this, Marvel Studios has decided to focus on four or five marginally popular heroes, each with their own film, some of which are mediocre at best. Iron Man was pretty good, Iron Man 2 was less so. The Incredible Hulk was somewhat tame considering the subject matter, and Thor was about as silly as it could be.

The films are visually well made. They sport great actors like Robert Downey Jr., Ed Norton and Natalie Portman. They perform well at the box office because of a built-in fan base. And yet, in comparison to the great comic-book films, the ones that really understood their characters (Superman: The Movie, The Dark Knight, Spiderman 2), Marvel’s prequel films aren’t especially lasting.

Captain America is different.

Captain America is great. It’s not just pretty good; it’s not simply a jumping-off point (even though the filmmakers had to follow protocol and make it one); it is a real film, with real characters, real danger, real threats, and incredibly fun. It might be my favorite film I’ve seen this summer (I loved Midnight in Paris, but hey, this has Captain America beating up Nazis and Hugo Weaving). It also has a great mes-

“Rogers has the heart of a champion, of the American spirit of fairness, and because he’s weak, he ‘understands the value of strength’.”

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sage about the importance of being true to yourself, provided the government is willing to give you performanceenhancing drugs that alter your entire genetic makeup. So it’s really for kids and fans of Mark McGuire.

Steve Rogers is a short, scrappy young man eager to serve his country in the midst of the most important war in recent history. Steve suffers from a myriad of health problems, just one of which would make him ineligible for service. But he keeps faking his forms, trying again and again, and hoping that the outcome will be different. His single-minded determinism worries his best friend Bucky, who tells him that the worst-case scenario would be his acceptance. But Steve’s pluck catches the eye of a scientist, a defector from Nazi Germany, who has developed a super-soldier serum. Rogers has the heart of a champion, of the American spirit of fairness, and because he’s weak, he “understands the value of strength.” He doesn’t want to kill anyone but doesn’t like bullies. He is what a hero should be— he just lacks the ability. Science, as it turns out, can fix such a problem. The film takes us through the necessary trials and tribulations of boot camp and through the ultimate administration of the procedure. A hero is born.

What I enjoyed most about the character, and the way the filmmakers handled his creation, is that despite the superpowers, Steve relies on a team of normal soldiers to successfully fight HYDRA. Cap’ isn’t invulnerable; he’s simply the peak of humanity. On several occasions, his life is saved by his team.

The filmmakers could have made Captain America an unstoppable, Nazi-killing machine with a cool shield, but instead they tried to make him a soldier. He’s more than a weapon.

Thor might be a warrior god; Tony Stark a billionaire playboy—

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Captain America is an icon. The film does a great job at solidifying Rogers as part of the war effort, although not necessarily in the way that might be expected. The film was directed by Joe Johnston, who also directed October Sky and the underrated The Rocketeer, and he clearly has a strong grasp on the period. The writing is strong, charming and amusing. The writers even managed to make an offhand reference to another American icon famous for fighting Nazis over the possession of paranormal objects.

I read somewhere that the name of the film was changed in certain foreign countries due to possible anti-American sentiment. While it was reported that the change was political in nature, I also suspect there is a monetary reason as well. The studio wants the film to be seen everywhere, and if a country doesn’t like Americans, they may avoid a film simply because the word is in the title. I would rather the world see this film under false pretenses, if that’s what it takes. We have plenty of films that sell a materialistic, sexual, or imperialist view of our country. Here is one that shows what I hope we really are: a hopeful nation, one that doesn’t like bullies, one that just wants to help.

You know, like we used to be.

Captain America: The First Avenger Directed by Joe Johnston Starring Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Hayley Atwell Rated PG-13 Running time: 2 hours, 4 minutes

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ENTERTAINMENT

Free Will Astrology

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Astronomer Sir Fred Hoyle rejected the prevailing scientific theory that life on this planet emerged by accident from a primordial soup. The chance of that happening was as likely as “a tornado sweeping through a junkyard [and assembling] a Boeing 747 from the materials therein.” I do think that something less amazing, but still semi-miraculous, is in the works for you, Leo. What do you imagine it might be? I’m getting a vision of a windy thunderstorm blowing through a junkyard in such a way as to assemble an impressionistic sculpture of you wearing a crown of flowers and X-Ray Specs as you ride confidently on the back of a lion.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz, the yellow brick road symbolizes a path leading to all of life’s answers, to a place where fantasies can be fulfilled. Dorothy and her companions follow that road in the belief it will take them to the all-powerful Wizard of Oz in the Emerald City. While I don’t mind you playing with the idea that you may eventually find your own personal yellow brick road, for the immediate future I urge you to adopt the attitude Elton John articulated in his song, “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road”: “Oh I’ve finally decided my future lies beyond the yellow brick road.” It’s time to add more nutsand-bolts pragmatism to your pursuit of happiness.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Some readers get enraged about the “crafty optimism” I advocate in my book Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia. Given what they regard as the miserable state of the world, they feel it’s a sin to look for reasons to be cheerful. One especially dour critic said that after reading a few pages of the book, he took it out in his backyard, doused it with gasoline, and incinerated it. You may face similar opposition in your attempts to foment redemption, smoke out hope, and rally the troops, Libra. I urge you to be extra fierce in your devotion to peace, love, and understanding.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Of all the adversaries I will ever face, my ego is the supreme challenge. It tries to trick me into thinking its interests are exactly the same as my own. It periodically strives to bamboozle me into believing that I should be motivated by pride, competitiveness, selfishness, or judgmental evaluations of other people. When I’m not vigilant, it lulls me into adopting narrow perspectives and subjective theories that are rife with delusions about the nature of reality. Don’t get me wrong: I still love my ego. Indeed, being on good terms with it is my only hope for keeping it from manipulating me. I bring this up, Scorpio, because it’s prime time for you to come to a riper understanding of your own ego so you can work out a tougher, more no-nonsense agreement with it.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian author Derrick Jensen wrote the book A Language Older Than Words.

He weaves together the tale of his abusive childhood with an angry analysis of the damage human beings have done to the earth and each other. It’s a wrenching text, but in the end it offers redemption. A review by Publisher’s Weekly says that “Jensen’s book accomplishes the rare feat of both breaking and mending the reader’s heart.” I invite you to pursue a similar possibility, Sagittarius. Summon the courage to allow your heart to be broken by a blessed catharsis that will ultimately heal your heart so it’s even stronger and smarter than it was before the breaking.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Right now you may be feeling especially squeezed by one of the apparent contradictions in your life. But I’m here to tell you that it’s not as contradictory as you think. Its seemingly paradoxical elements are in righteous harmony with each other at a higher level of understanding. Can you rise to that higher level so as to see what has been hidden from your view? I believe you can. For best results, let go of any temptation you might have to act as if you’re oppressively defined by your past.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Psychologist and priest David Rickey counsels people who are about to be married.

“You are perfectly mismatched,” he likes to tell them. “As much as you think you have chosen each other because of beauty or shared interests, the deeper reason is that unconsciously you know the other person is going to push your buttons. And the purpose of relationships is for you to discover and work on your buttons.” I share Rickey’s views, and offer them to you just in time to make maximum use of their wisdom. You see, Aquarius, you’re in a phase when you have extraordinary power to learn from and adjust to the challenges that come from having your buttons pushed by those you care about.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In his song “Crazy,” British singer Seal repeats the following line numerous times for emphasis: “We’re never going to survive unless we get a little crazy.” I recommend it as a mantra for you to rely on in the coming days. Your emotional health will depend on your ability to laugh at yourself, play along with absurdity, and cultivate a grateful reverence for cosmic riddles. Being a little crazy will not only keep you robustly sane; it will also allow you to enjoy and capitalize on the divine comedy life presents you with.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Symbolically speaking, there is a Holy Grail hidden close to you, and you know it, but you haven’t been able to find it. The Grail is a golden chalice filled with medicine that could open what needs opening in you. Luckily, you will soon come into possession (symbolically speaking) of a big, thick magical wand that can give you a new advantage. Here’s what I conclude: Use your wizard stick to locate the cup of wonder so you can take a big sip.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Much of the work you’re doing right now is invisible to the naked eye, maybe even to your own naked eye. You’re learning a lot while you sleep, drawing sustenance from hidden reservoirs even when you’re awake, and steadily improving yourself through the arts of creative forgetting and undoing. Continue this subtle artistry, Taurus. Be cagey. Be discreet. Don’t underestimate how important silence and even secrecy may be for you right now. The healing transformations unfolding in almost total darkness should not be exposed or revealed prematurely; they should be protected with vigilance.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Either Way I’m Celebrating.

That’s the title of a poetry comic book by Sommer Browning, and I suggest that you consider it as a worthy title for your life in the coming days. The adventure you’re in the midst of could evolve in several possible directions, each with a different rhythm and tone, each with a distinct lesson and climax. But regardless of what path you end up taking, I’m almost positive you will have good reasons to throw yourself a party at the end. Having said that, though, I also advise you to decide which version of the story you prefer, then make it your strong intention to materialize it.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): During the skunk mating season, two robust members of the species made the crawl space beneath my house their trysting place. The result was spectacular. Siren-like squalls rose from their ecstasy, spiraling up into my kitchen accompanied by plumes of a stench that I imagined the Italian poet Dante, in his book The Inferno, might have identified as native to the ninth level of hell. Being as instinctively empathic as I am, I naturally appreciated how much delight the creatures were enjoying. At the same time, I wished they would take their revelry elsewhere. So I called on the Humane Society, an animal rescue group, to flush them out without harming them. If anything resembling this scenario takes place in your sphere, Cancerian—if someone’s pursuit of happiness cramps your style—I suggest you adopt my gentle but firm approach.

ENTERTAINMENT

Jonesin' Crossword — "We Now Interrupt Your Ads" Across 1 “Buddy on ___” (Buckethead song) 6 “Pierrot le ___” (JeanLuc Godard movie) 9 Sheet music header for the viola or bassoon 14 “Drag Me To Hell” director Sam 15 Neighbor of Greece: abbr.

16 Pimiento’s place 17 Make an escape 19 Hot dog option 20 Really, really integral baseball stats (or a hair stylist ad interrupted by a cookie ad)?

22 “Annabel Lee” author 23 Alum 24 Hip-hop label “Respecting DJs since 1984” 28 Nat ___ (documentary network, for short) 29 Spooky mammal 32 Native Alaskan 33 Took to court 34 E pluribus ___

36 Dubliners add liquor to the circle (or a soap ad interrupted by a furniture store ad)?

39 ___ Maarten (Caribbean island) 40 Feels under the weather 41 Sunni’s faith 42 One way to wager on horses: abbr.

43 Dachshund diagnoser 44 Ron who’s changing his name 45 “Clan of the Cave Bear” author Jean 47 Dept. of the Interior org. that employs forest firefighters 48 Reynolds’ impressions of an MTV dimwit (or a cosmetics ad interrupted by a rental car ad)?

54 Stephen Vincent ___ 55 King Arthur’s sword 57 Scrabble 3-pointer 58 “Go team!”

59 Circumvent

60 Horny mythical beast 61 Baseball execs 62 Final decision Down 1 Wall St. worker 2 Health scare of 20022003 3 “In ___ of flowers...”

4 “___ of the World” (Pat Metheny album) 5 Dirt trail in a park 6 It’s a travesty 7 Muffin spread 8 They make techies look tame 9 Hot chocolate 10 Thunderous event 11 Bellybutton stuff 12 Days before the big day 13 Palin impersonator 18 Gift tag word 21 Wear away 24 Speaker’s platform 25 “The river,” in Mexico 26 Fakeout move 27 By a hair 28 Remorseful feeling

30 Like an old lady (anagram of ELIAN) 31 Sushi fishies 33 Director of 2011’s “The Adventures of Tintin” 35 Band with the 2010 album “Congratulations” 37 Comes to the rescue 38 Money in the sky 44 Thomas Edison’s middle name 46 Speak 47 Family of classical composers 48 Test release 49 Student’s daily workload 50 Big test 51 Lead single from The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Gish” 52 Place to do your bidding?

53 Brew 54 Little bullets 56 Rock’s ___ Speedwagon

Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0531

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Ask A Mexican

Not So Peachy in the Peach State Dear Mexican, A few years back when I was in high school, my social studies teacher and the leader of our high school M.E.Ch.A. club had deep resentment toward the Spaniards/ conquistadors that killed hundred—probably thousands—of Aztecs. He went so far as to deny that his own heritage comes partly from Spain, and hated it when people would refer to him as a Latino/Hispanic. He would get so mad and say “I’m not Spanish; I AM CHICANO!” What’s your opinion on the subject? Do you feel hatred toward the Spanish?

— Harry the Hispanic Dear Wab, I LOVE the Spaniards! Their adorable lisp! Their great porn! Dalí! (Wait—he’s Catalan). Guernica! (Wait—that was about the Basque). The Alhambra! (Wait—that was Moorish) The fact that so many Mexicans wore Spain’s jersey as it wound its way through winning the World Cup last year! The only Mexicans who hate Spaniards are of the yaktivist type, and the best commentary on the matter is the great Mexican muralist José Clemente Orozco’s Cortés y la Malinche, which depicts a naked Hernán Cortés and his Indian concubine, Malintzin (popularly known as Malinche) looming over their dead mestizo son: the father and mother looking on at their defeated Mexico.

Honestly, what is there to celebrate about a civilization that enslaved foreign lands, killed thousands of innocents, and plundered to their desire—and I’m not talking about American imperialism? We’re supposed to celebrate the Spaniards why? All of this said, for a Mexican to deny that he has any Spanish blood in him when they’re sporting a mustache as thick as Zapata’s is as ludicrous as the Mexican who says they’re pure-blooded Spanish despite having a nopal en la frente.

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Dear Mexican, I’ve never been accused of being the sharpest knife in the box, but there is someThe Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 31 | August 4, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

provide for their family? I never hear or read about Americans traveling a great distance, to do dirty, dangerous work, for very little money, living with many other people to save money, and then sending most of it back home. Well, I could go on, but this is probably enough, and some of your readers have their own knife problems.

— A Dull Knife

Gustavo Arellano

“In June, Georgia farmers announced they had over 11,000 jobs open—and no Americans were lining up to take them.

Those few that did quit almost instantly, according to numerous published accounts.” thing I always wondered about. If all the “American” jobs are going to Mexico, why are all the Mexicans coming here? If all the work that is left here is being taken by illegal Mexicans, who have to travel many, many miles to come to work, why aren’t red-blooded “legal Americans” grabbing them first?

After all, they already live in the town all these jobs are at. If the people who live here don’t want the jobs, then why complain that someone else does? If there is something underhanded about it, then the problem is not with the employees, but the employer.

And, another thing I don’t understand because of the me-not-being-a-sharp-knife problem: why are people who go through great hardship vilified because they want to

Dear Gabacho, Dude, TEL ME ABOUT IT! Are you hearing about what’s happening in Georgia? You’ll remember that earlier this year, the Peach State decided to go all Arizona on its growing Latino population and passed nasty legislation, thereby driving out more than a few Mexis, legal and not from the estado. Guess what? In June, Georgia farmers announced they had over 11,000 jobs open—and no Americans were lining up to take them. Those few that did quit almost instantly, according to numerous published accounts. The same thing is happening in the restaurant industry—in July, the Georgia Restaurant Association announced half of the members they surveyed had a worker shortage, one they blamed in Georgia’s Know Nothing laws. It just goes to show what the Mexican has said all along: gabachos won’t do the jobs Mexican immigrants do because they shouldn’t. The working classes of this country have almost always been where immigrants entered, scraping their way into the middle class and beyond— that’s the American way. Conservatives would want it that ALL of us work like Mexicans for a Mexican’s salary forever— and what kind of a great country is that?

That’s right—Mexico!

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! I’m leaving it blank this week so ustedes can send me some suggestions—DO IT! Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at www.youtube.com/askamexicano!

www.chattanoogapulse.com | August 4, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 31 | The Pulse

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