The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 35

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative

music

Vieux farka touré interView • african guitar master and world music legend at riverfront nights

SMOKE, OIL& STEAM

COAL VALVE

backtracking through time at railfest

FREE • NEWS | VIEWS | MUSIC | FILM | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • SEpTEMbER 1, 2011 • VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 35 • CHATTANOOGApULSE.COM

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Nightfall 2011 - Friday Night!

McPeake

SEPTEMBER

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VOLUME 8, ISSUE 35 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Want to watch a video of this week's Nightfall headliner? Download the FREE "QR Reader" on your smartphone and scan this code.

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SHRINK RAP ON THE BEAT LIFE IN THE NOOG DINING OUT FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ASK A MEXICAN

Cover photo by Steve Freer, Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum.

Contets page photo by Eric Stringer

“With all its rich train history stretching back to the 1830s, Chattanooga still is a train town. And we owe our collective thanks for that to the folks at the Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum.”

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“Louis Varnell, director of the Southeast Veteran’s Museum, stars in the show, based on stories he’s collected from veterans for many years.”

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“The roots of music in Mali are as old as human history. It is the birthplace of what have become American and global musical traditions.”

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NEWS Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder, John DeVore Rick Pimental-Habib, Janis Hashe, Matt Jones, D.E. Langley Kelly Lockhart, Ernie Paik Jim Pfitzer, Alex Teach Art Director Bill Ramsey Photography Josh Lang, Louis Lee Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Editoial Intern Beth Miller Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Pulse Beats

YPAC And Chamber Announce Partnership The Chattanooga Area Chamber of Commerce recently voted unanimously to adopt the Young Professionals Association of Chattanooga (YPAC) as a Chamber program. The decision comes after months of collaborative discussion about how the two organizations can partner together to increase professional, philanthropic and social opportunities for businesses and organizations while committing resources to the next generation of leadership.

The partnership was officially announced at YPAC’s monthly luncheon, held on August 26, inside the Community Room at EPB. YPAC and Chamber leadership, in addition to honorary guests, were present to hear the future plans of both organizations.

“We’re very excited to engage in this new venture with YPAC,” said Kristi Haulsee, vice president of member-investor services for the Chattanooga Chamber. “This is a mutually beneficial partnership in which YPAC connects with the Chamber’s network of established business leaders while the Chamber strength-

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

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“Softball is still real important here in Chattanooga, but so is soccer and rugby. There are a lot of teams that are really searching for places to play.”

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

— Chattanooga Parks & Recreation’s Larry Zehnder, on the need for new turf at Montague Park.

ens its relationship with Chattanooga’s next generation of professional leaders.”

YPAC President Elizabeth Crenshaw also commented on the new partnership, stating, “Becoming an official program of the Chattanooga Chamber will allow YPAC to position its members to take on meaningful leadership positions and grow in ways that we could not have provided otherwise.”

She added, “The great local leadership that has come before us has given our generation a foundation for success that we have a responsibility to continue. Through this partnership, YPAC will ensure sustainability for its members, for the Chattanooga Chamber and for our community.”

To celebrate the new partnership, YPAC is offering a membership promotion that invites young professionals to sign up between now and December 31, 2011, and receive three free months of membership with the purchase of one annual membership.

News Brief The April tornadoes changed the way of life for many Hamilton County residents. Many are struggling to rebuild their lives and have been reluctant to ask for much-needed assistance. Not only are many of them rebuilding their homes, they are also trying to work through the trauma of the event while trying to meet daily needs.

Because of this, Hamilton County now has a very valuable resource: Long Term Disaster Relief Committee of Hamilton County. This group is a network of faith-based, government, social service and civic organizations that stand ready to help our citizens get back on their feet. It is funded by the Community Foundation of Greater Chattanooga and the United Way of Greater Chattanooga.

By simply calling 211, Hamilton County residents will be able to work with a counselor who can begin the process of obtaining funding to meet very basic needs. From counseling support for the family to funding for home repairs, non-emergency medical support and job training and referrals, the partnership in collaboration with the committee works to make sure needs are met.

NEWS

Opinion

Youthful Inspiration Great story [“Entries From The Entrepreneur’s Diary”] of what is inspiring (and continues to inspire) young people.

Anne Davis

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

Thanks for sharing your exciting journey!

Wishing you much success and continued excitement in the discovery!

Pat Haney Movie Lists I don’t think Batman Begins can be considered a sequel [“Best Movie Sequels Of All Time”]. It obviously wasn’t the first Batman movie but it was the start of a new Batman series. It would have made more sense to put The Dark Knight… considering it’s a sequel and a better movie.

Ben Gopher A Loving Memory Chuck Crowder’s recent Pulse piece “Right Here in the Hereafter” was a perfect tribute to our mutual friend John Johnson. Indeed John was a hero as he stoically, and sometimes comically,

influence in my life as well. The pain he endured near the end was overwhelming and still he reached out to help ease the pain of the others around him. Few will have anything like his influence on one community—let alone three.

David Duncan Chuck, from one of those friends of long ago, thank you for bringing this breath of life to me. Peace to you and all who knew John.

Kim Pezzeminti

faced an inevitable end to a bright life.

Moreover, Chuck’s self examination over our own mortality was universal, touching, and just plain spot on.

Andre Cimo Well said, Chuck. John was a formative

New Music Reviewed If the sounds of Heaven include “thunderings and voices…a new song…” a choir of over 100 million angels singing “with a loud voice,” and “every creature which is in heaven and on the earth and under the earth and such as are in the sea and all that are in them…saying…”, then I suppose in principle the various “noises” Russolo recommends can be used in music, though this principle does not move me to the action of seeking the “Into Battle with the Art of Noise” album.

Andrew Lohr www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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NEWS

Politics & Crime A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, September 6 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

6. Ordinances – First Reading: a) An ordinance amending Ordinance No. 12317 extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to annex certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga known as Area 9B, being certain parcels adjacent to Old Lee Highway and Apison Pike within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chattanooga, in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map, by changing the effective date of said annexation to December 31, 2012.

• Apparently some children still haven’t learned their lesson about not playing with fire. Chattanooga firefighters responded to a house fire on E. 12th Street. Battalion Chief Phil Hyman said very little smoke was visible when the first firefighters arrived on the scene, but when they entered the house, they found a mattress on fire in a bedroom.

Lieutenant Henry McElvain said two young boys are responsible for the fire. The boys had found a cigarette lighter in their mom’s purse and started a fire on the bed. They were not injured. The firefighters had the fire out in minutes and managed to contain the fire damage to the bedroom. The rest of the house sustained smoke damage. The dollar loss was estimated at $20,000.

Remember the whole debate over annexation last year? Well, the council hasn’t forgotten, even though many of the annexation moves have been tied up in the courts. It is expected that there will once again be a full house at the evening meeting as the council takes up the first reading on the above annexation ordinance.

• In ancient cultures, stealing from the dead would lead to being cursed. Let’s hope for the sake of one Chattanooga man that there aren’t any modern curses. A family recovered items taken from them in the wake of their father’s death, nearly $100,000 worth of stolen items. The surviving children immediately suspected their father’s house guest had taken an unknown number of them from the home during the time their father was ill in the hospital. Among the missing items, a Chrysler Town and Country minivan, a Ford F-350 truck and several high-priced lawnand-garden items. Police located the for-

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

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mer houseguest, who was found to be in possession of some of the stolen items. Further investigation led police to his mother’s home where more items were recovered. Other suspects, including the man’s mother, were implicated in the theft and more charges may be coming as a result of continued investigation.

• If something seems to be “necessary” but is not something you’ve heard of before, best to check with authorities. Dade County officials are warning residents of a legal, but unnecessary, push by some companies selling “grant deeds.” Although generally not used in Georgia, such a deed generally refers to a deed that transfers title to real property or a real property interest from one party to another. The companies push for “all U.S. homeowners” to have the deed. Dade County Superior court clerk Kathy Page says the companies are sending out letters to homeowners offering to obtain “grant deeds” for $87. The catch? All recorded deeds are public record, and can be obtained for a fraction of that cost at the Superior Clerk Office.

Page says it appears most of the letters are being sent to older homeowners.

• Weekend crowds in downtown Chattanooga are getting “out of control.” At least according to a representative of the Chattanooga Police Department. “Complete pandemonium” is how one Chattanooga police officer described the scene recently outside a downtown nightspot. The testimony was given before the city beer board. The officer said when a popular Georgia Avenue nightclub shut down, a crowd gathered outside that was so huge and hostile 30 or 40 officers had to respond from as far away as Alton Park and Hixson...and eventually use pepper spray on the unruly crowd. Officers also told the board this isn’t the first time... there was a similar out-of-control crowd July 31. Board member Kevin McKenna, a former police officer in Memphis, suggested that officers should use a police bus to haul off those who are disorderly.

OPINION

Shrink Rap

How-To’s For a Better Life T

Author Suzy he other day, I was thumbing through Welch recommends saying yes as much some of my favorite inspirational books, as possible when meditations, quotes (believe me, I’ve got volumes of this stuff!) and within just a few you’re young, to gain experience. minutes I was feeling all warm and fuzzy Over time, as life’s inside. Peaceful. Centered. Arriving at priorities take shape, this sort of calmness is easier sometimes start saying no, with than at other times, but I’ve found that discernment, so that this kind of reading, as well as taking some what you do with slow, deep breaths, can work wonders. your time reflects So that’s what I was doing—breathing, how you want to live reading, feeling good. your life.

Then I started to think about how there How to Motivate Yourself are times when, along with the feelgood, squishy stuff, we could all use some We all have times when, practical inspiration. You know, about life’s despite our strongest intentions, we basic quandaries. Such as “how-to” or “do have trouble revving up the ol’ engine and don’t” guidance which can be very to get some chore done. Or we have a helpful when navigating both the small, psychological obstacle (i.e., writer’s block) everyday life issues, as well as the big, to work through. Or we’re feeling the life-altering issues. So I began gathering stress that comes with procrastination— up some of the more “commonsense” that dark cloud hovering, reminding you inspirations that I’ve come of what you don’t really across over the years, and “Over time, as want to do. thought you might enjoy Consider this: Take life’s priorities them, too. (To go with the a break from it all. take shape, start Replace the pressure squishy stuff, of course.)

How to Say No saying no, with with pleasant, perhaps Regular Shrink-Rappers inspiring, distraction. discernment, so And give yourself a have read about this before, especially around that what you specific amount of time the holidays when stress for this “play.” Go to do with your can become overwhelming a park and laugh at time reflects and we’ve said “yes” to all the antics of the little sorts of tasks that may how you want kids (or a dog park, be better to delegate, is endless free to live your life.” which or omit altogether. But entertainment!) Call an saying no is a learned skill, elderly relative or friend, one anybody can achieve with practice and ask them some questions, absorbing and a few deep breaths. Experiment with their wisdom. Take your best friend to these: “No, but thank you for asking me.” lunch. Go to a gallery or favorite store or Or, “I’d love to, but I can’t make that big spend a couple of hours window-shopping a commitment. Is there another way I and people-watching. Turn up the music can help?” Or, “I’m sorry, but I just can’t and dance – wildly and without inhibition. agree/take that on/help you just now. Is Eat some ice cream on the back porch and there someone else you could ask?” What listen to the sounds of nature. You get the you risk is the feeling that, temporarily, idea: Get off your own back, reduce the you may be disappointing someone. But stress, and return refreshed and recharged. what you gain is a bit more self-confidence How To Show the Love for having taken care of yourself.

Whether you’re in a relationship and

the “love bank” is a little low; or you’re single and yearning for intimate love; or you just want to improve the quality of your friendships and family relationships, my suggestion is to think love.

Some people feel loved by the words you say. Some by the deeds you do for them.

Some by the amount and quality of time you spend together. If you want someone you care about to feel the love, think about them for a moment. Think specifically about how you believe they best absorb kindness and love. Is it through simple gestures, like giving them a call, or sending them a sweet note? Is it by verbally expressing appreciation for all the ways they regularly enrich your life? Is it by spending time together, taking in a movie, or a romantic dinner, or going for a walk in the woods?

If we’re not present-minded, not focused on the other person, we risk a type of giving that we think they’d like, rather than what they’d really like. By giving love tailored to the other, we begin a positive cycle of thoughtful, conscious giving and conscious receiving. And we find that there’s plenty of love to go around.

I hope these tips have helped. In future Shrink Raps I’ll offer others. Meanwhile, take care of yourself, and those you hold dear.

Until next time, from author/poet Diane Ackerman, “I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.”

Dr. Rick

Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his web site at www.DrRPH.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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trackinghistory

COVER STORY

Railfest steams up laboR Day weekenD

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By jIM PFITzER • PULSE CONTRIBUTING WRITER omewhere between Nurnberg and Munich, the train stopped in a small village to take on more passengers, interrupting the solitude I had been enjoying for the past hour. A middle-aged Bavarian couple took the seats directly across from me, and with a friendly “guten tag” the conversation began.

“Where are you from?”

“Tennessee.”

“Oh, Elvis!”

“Ja… Uh… nein. I mean…not exactly. That’s Memphis. I’m from the other end of the state, near the mountains. Chattanooga.”

“Ah… Chattanooga. The Choo-Choo!”

It is always the same, everywhere I travel…

“Where are you from?”

“Chattanooga.”

“The Choo-Choo town?”

“That’s the one.”

Ironically, if you don’t count a trip up the Incline Railway, that train trip in Germany 25 years ago was the first passenger train ride this Chattanooga native, ever took. And yet,

everybody in the world knows our town as the one with trains.

There is debate surrounding the song—whether it is based on an actual train that ran down track 29 to Chattanooga, or if the author invented the Choo-Choo purely for its alliteration. Regardless of its inspiration, in December of 1941 The Chattanooga Choo-Choo peaked as the most popular song in the United States and has gone on not just to become a lasting global hit, but to give rise to a popular tourist destination

and cement Chattanooga on the map with train enthusiasts and romantics the world over.

And the irony continues when you consider the fact that we have a train station that receives over a million visitors a year that has not seen a train arrive or depart since 1970.

Nevertheless, with all its rich train history stretching back to the 1830s, Chattanooga still is a train town. And we owe our collective thanks for that to the folks at the Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum (TVRM), who this weekend the will be celebrating 50 years of operation with the first-ever Railfest. I sat down with TVRM Historian Trevor Lanier to get a little history and a look at what you can expect at the museum this weekend.

I met Lanier on one of TVRM’s daily Missionary Ridge Local runs. Looking the part in his pinstriped overalls, Lanier was a virtual book of Chattanooga train history, and was more than happy to share his knowledge with me.

“It all began in the late’50s,” he began, “when a few Chattanooga train enthusiasts began meeting and talking about preserving train history.” By August 1961, they had officially formed the Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum. In anticipation of the exhibits they would procure, they purchased the old Western Union Building near Citico and Holtzclaw for their home.

Soon, Museum President Paul Merriman was sending letters to every railroad in the country requesting donations.

Any passenger or steam engines they were willing to give, TVRM was willing to receive.

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Their first acquisition was an old Seaboard Airline Dining Car, and slowly but surely others were added to the stable, including a Shay steam locomotive commonly used for hauling logs because of its high torque, and a tank engine, so-named for its design in which a water tank surrounds the boiler and a hopper for the coal is contained on the engine, rather than being pulled behind. That tank engine became the first operating steam engine at the museum.

In 1964, Merriman began negotiations with the Kentucky and Tennessee Railroad to get a Southern Railway Steam engine—Engine 4501. Eventually Merriman bought the old engine for scrap value with his own money and donated to TVRM, and in June of that same year, the 4501 steamed into Chattanooga under its

own power. Over the next two years, Southern Railway had the 4501 restored for the TVRM and soon after, much to the delight of passengers and onlookers, excursions began.

TVRM moved to the Chamberlain Avenue property in the ’70s, where they had a lot of work on their hands. Trees were growing in right of way. The tunnel had not been inspected in years. There was no depot.

Cars were placed on tracks adjacent to the main line and set up for ticket sales and giftshop operations. Because the tunnel was not yet passable, and having no turntable or Y, tours ran out to the old tunnel, then reversed course and headed backwards to complete the trip.

In 1980, the East Chattanooga depot was finally completed and

opened, and work was underway to build up the old mainline where the county had removed the tunnel. Eventually, the tracks were crossing over Tunnel Boulevard and trains were on their way to Grand Junction—the main depot. Not long after that, the Y was built, the turntable was installed, a repair shop was completed and opened at East Chattanooga, and the trains could really run!

Since those days, TVRM has expanded their scenic trips to include excursions leaving the restored depot in Etowah, TN and winding through the spectacular Hiwassee River Gorge in Cherokee National Forest where views of the river are rivaled

by artfully engineered tracks that spiral over themselves to negotiate the treacherous terrain. For those with more time, the trip continues from the Apalachia Dam on the North Carolina border, through Ducktown and TurtleContinued on Page 10

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COVER STORY Continued FRoM Page 9 town, all the way to Copper Hill near the Georgia line. And if that is not enough, the most adventurous passengers can detrain in Ducktown for an hour-long rafting trip on the Ocoee River before catching the train on its return.

For those less inclined to the adventures of the rugged mountains and wild rivers, there are trips south to Chickamauga Battlefield that layover for picnicking in the park and even dining excursions further south to Summerville, GA.

“With all its rich train history stretching back to the 1830s, Chattanooga still is a train town. And we owe our collective thanks for that to the folks at the Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum.”

If the holidays and special events are your thing, there are Christmas-themed rides, Romantic Valentine’s Day trips, fall color excursions, and dinner trips.

Indeed, the Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum has come a long way and there is be much to celebrate as they pull out all the stops for their Labor Day weekend jubilee!

So just what can we expect to find at a weekend celebration devoted to trains? Lanier’s response was predictable: “Well, of course there will be lots of trains to ride.

“We’ll have mainline trips with Norfolk Southern Railroad. Haven’t done those for at least 15 years,” Lanier told me, clearly excited.

He went on to explain that typically the museum operates on its own exclusive tracks. “To operate on mainline means we are going on Norfolk

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Southern (NF) tracks on which they run hundreds of trains every day. We’ll be using our steam engines where we don’t usually run. They (Norfolk Southern) run diesel electric trains—hundreds of them on those tracks.”

The logistics of running slow passenger trains on those busy tracks are not simple, either. Just as planes around busy airports need air traffic controllers, Lanier told me, NF has controllers that will give us the clear when the tracks are open.

“We have to find times between their trains.”

TVRM has permission to run trains between 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. on the mainline tracks, but they will still have to let the controllers know every time they want to head out. “We will contact their cen-

The The Pulse Pulse || Volume Volume 8, 8, Issue Issue 35 35 || September September 1,1, 2011 2011 || www.chattanoogapulse.com www.chattanoogapulse.com

tral dispatcher and request permission to use the line. Hopefully when we are ready to go they will give us the go ahead, but they might tell us to hold until another train clears the tracks. On the other end, we let them know when we are off the tracks.

Passengers will not be so aware of something different, but for the train enthusiast, it is a big deal.”

Along with their own trains, TVRM wanted to celebrate their 50th anniversary with guest locomotives to expand the number of train trips they could run. According to Lanier, the visiting locomotives will be new and exciting for people to see.

As of our interview, there were three scheduled visitors.

There will be a small tank locomotive, reminis-

cent of one of the early trains that used to run here, an old Southern Railways diesel that would have once been common, pulling passenger trains in and out of Chattanooga, as well as a Streamline Diesel. The Streamline scheduled to be on hand is the Norfolk Southern executive train used by the NS president.

Trains really are just the beginning of the threeday celebration, though. There will be music from a variety of local musicians, including Lon Eldridge playing acoustic blues guitar, Christie Burns and friends from the Folk School of Chattanooga playing old-time fiddle music, Sweet Georgia Sound with big-band swing, and performing Sunday night, special guest the Sam Bush Band will be

King of Newgrass Mandolin wizard Sam Bush and his band headline Railfest with a concert from 8 to 11 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 3, at the Tennesee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Road.

Tickets are $10, available online at tvrail.com.

performing a 90-minute concert.

There will be train-themed storytelling (with yours truly), a balloon artist, food vendors, a magician, blacksmithing demonstrations, a hobo camp, a petting zoo, Civil War garrison demonstrations, an outdoor film, children’s shows…

Carla Pritchard of Chattanooga Presents, which is producing Railfest, says she knew that it would have a built-in appeal for train enthusiasts, so they worked to design the event with families in mind as well, with lots of points of interest for the children— hands-on, train-oriented exhibits that kids can play with, a hand-crank ride you can pedal with your hands…and one of those pump cars.

Sunday evening, there will be a screening of the Disney classic The Great Locomotive Chase, the true story of the train The General that was stolen

by Andrew’s Raiders during the Civil War with plans

of bringing it all the way to Chattanooga. Another take on that story—an oral story—will be shared twice a day in the Hobo Camp.

And since this is a birthday celebration, Saturday night before the Sam Bush concert there will be a birthday cake—a giant Moon Pie to be shared with all on hand.

Pritchard stressed that offerings are varied from day to day, so checking the schedule before buying a ticket is highly recommended.

According to Lanier, the objective of Railfest is to show Chattanooga that they (TVRM) are here, and introduce the community to what they do.

“We’ve been Chattanooga’s best-kept secret for a long time,” he said.

TVRM hopes to draw from beyond Chattanooga, marketing the event in Atlanta, Nashville, Knoxville and Huntsville. “We tend to draw from there anyway,” Lanier said.

It sounds like there will be something for everybody, whether train enthusiast or the curious looking for something to do, whether old or young, individual or family. “The history of railroading is closely tied to the history of our community. This is one of the industries that helped build our communities— not just Chattanooga, but communities throughout the region. This is a big part of why we are who we are today,” said Lanier.

Because of the high traffic expected for Railfest and the limited parking available on site, organizers are asking visitors to use shuttles that will be running to and from Eastgate and Northgate all three days. The Northgate shuttle will run every 20 minutes from the corner behind JCPenney, to the left of the mall cinema on the ring road near the post office. At Eastgate, the shuttle will run every 25 minutes from the southeast corner (interstate side) of the parking lot, between the emissions testing center and Eastgate Town Center. There will be pop-up tents with signage at each lot to indicate where the shuttle will pick up and drop off. Shuttles will run from 8:30 a.m. -10 p.m. on Saturday, from 10 a.m. - 10 p.m. on Sunday, and from 8:30 a.m.- 7 p.m. on Monday.

For those coming from out of town, or wanting a special getaway without leaving home, the Chattanooga Choo-Choo is of course the official hotel sponsor and is offering special packages for two or four guests that include an overnight stay in a standard room or a rail car, breakfast, and tickets to Railfest. Those packages are available September 1 through 5. For more information on the ChooChoo packages, contact them at (423) 265-5000.

And about that thousand-pound gorilla on a train downtown: “I think it is important that a museum like ours piggybacks on the icon that is the Chattanooga Choo-Choo,” said Lanier. “The Choo-Choo is a great opportunity for us, and they are great partners for us.”

Tickets for the event and the Sam Bush concert, and a complete Railfest schedule can be found at www.tvrail.com.

RIVER ROCKS

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OPINION

On The Beat

Shouldering The Weight Doc Holliday studied him for a moment, and said, “Do you believe in friendship, Wyatt Earp?”

[Wyatt nodded his head silently.]

“So do I,” Doc replied. “Do you have many friends?”

[Wyatt shook his head “no” wordlessly.]

“Neither do I,” said Doc. — the film Wyatt Earp (1994)

I

was moving through a short but wide hallway that led to a very high and long main corridor in the local convention and trade center where the subject of my & Seniors Expo”, and her gray hair and attention was moving, and I was losing her.

Coke-bottle-thick bi-focal glasses were She went out of sight around a corner and I now broke into a light run to make up the barely visible above the boxes of booze and booze implements. It had Facebook distance, unconsciously batting a folding written ALL over it, and I was annoyed I chair aside along the way and taking a couldn’t record the moment. shortcut behind a curtain, emerging at the The Expo was billed as a “premier end of it only to see I was never going to resource for all things important to reach my goal. Damn.

It was an elderly woman with legs seniors and baby boomers”, pushing so atrophied from years of disuse that jewelry, fashion, and items for the home they’d begun drawing up sideways in her on the literature. When I got inside, the motorized power chair at an unnatural booths set up were for gutter guards and angle, but she was on a real rocket sled so I Bath Fitters as expected…but then there suppose I never had a chance. were also reps for retirement homes, life It was a “Pronto insurance, and finally a M51” from the look of funeral home, replete “I’ve always it; the 350-watt highwith a well-dressed older known that torque motors and a gentleman playing Musak weight of pain commanding lead more on an electric keyboard than made up for her in their limited space. was there, comparative physical They were all but staring lurking in the handicaps, but all she at the passers-by and needed was a functional tapping their watches shadows, but right hand to work the at them… now it’s unafraid knowingly single control to deny and they were a hit with to walk into the everyone attending. me. (I’d have had that ass if she’d been on one of While I normally enjoy light, and I feel those “Easy-Go” models the bizarre, I was grateful defenseless.” they practically give when the job was over away at supermarkets, and that it was a onebut this was her day.) Well played, ma’am. time thing.

Well played.

Maybe that wasn’t weird; maybe it was I was after her with my phone in-hand just me, but this has been a week saturated because on that eco-friendly geriatric with the theme of “mortality” for me dragster she’d been carrying a case of wine already. I thought about that, and the and an even larger box of wine glasses on convention, and stared wordlessly into my her lap she’d just won at the “Life, Boomers best friend’s eyes as we sat close on the

Alex Teach

couch and drank in moments that I knew were officially numbered after the horrible news we’d received two days earlier, and the weight of the thoughts began pushing down on me. Crushing me, as my lips began to involuntarily curve downward and my eyes filled with tears, but never moving my hand from her shoulder in that wordless bond of comfort we’d always had. The time for words was past, so I just tried to smile.

Bone cancer. Inoperable. Painful.

Sweet God in heaven…how can this happen to anyone? I was steeped in sudden, unexpected deaths; trips to work that ended in the side of a Heilig-Meyers truck.

Hunting accidents…undiagnosed medical conditions…tragic pranks…Darwinism in general, both in my family and on the job. But to be told in an X-ray booth on a routine check-up for knee pain that, say, there’s no other way to say this, but…

We all know there is an end to that which begins. Some want to know that date, that time…and I think I was one of them. But not now.

Expiration dates. “Knowing.” It’s horrible.

Every day is a gift and should be treated as if it was the last, but it’s different when you really KNOW they are among the last.

I’ve always known that weight of pain was there, lurking in the shadows, but now it’s unafraid to walk into the light, and I feel defenseless.

Who am I kidding? I am.

In the face of losing someone so close, I think back to that otherwise forgettable Costner movie line about appreciating friends, but having few. We all “know” people, dozens, hundreds…but to those you give that “Key to the Kingdom” to? Hold them close. To the end.

They’re worth both the wait…and the weight. (“All Good Things,” sweet girl. Right to the end.)

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

ARTS

Feature

As Time Goes By, We Do Not Forget

“Louis Varnell, director of the Southeast Veteran’s Museum, stars in the show, based on stories he’s collected from veterans for many years.”

stops on the Normandy tour those whose lives and families have been were Omaha Beach and the affected by war.

Varnell is a historian who has consulted American Cemetery. One of the members of our group was a with film companies, re-enactors and othformer Marine who had served er groups to verify accuracy of costumes in Vietnam, and he was still and military details, and he appears in the ramrod straight and one tough play dressed in authentic uniforms correct guy, but he stood on the now to the smallest detail. Artifacts from the completely peaceful beach with museum add realism to the stories.

The show “tells true stories of the Eurotears streaming down his face, pean Theatre in the first act and from the and we all joined him.

I stared up at Pointe du Hoc, war in the Pacific in act two;, according to where my father might have press materials. One of these is the story been—he was training to be an of a crewman flying over Tokyo to drop Army Ranger until he washed a bomb—except that the armed bomb out with an injury during para- catches on the bomber’s door.

“I Wasn’t No Hero” is directed by the chute training.

Our own National Cemetery Chattanooga Theatre Centre’s Chuck here in Chattanooga is a mov- Tuttle.

Special events include: ing sight with its blocks of white • Friday, September 2: Opening night crosses, so imagine that magnified many times, and you will reception at 7 p.m. before the 8 curtain.

• Saturday, September 3: Real-time get an idea of the impact of the American Cemetery, where captioning for deaf and hard-of-hearing the crosses and Stars of David patrons sponsored by the Hearing Loss stretch out farther than you Association of Hamilton County and Barnett & Company. can see.

• Friday, September 9: Talk Back with World War II ended more than 65 years ago, but its repercus- Louis Varnell and Chuck Tuttle after the sions are still felt, and perhaps show. Ask questions and discuss the stothat’s why art of all kinds is still ries and the production.

By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor • Friday, September 16: “Girls’ Night being created about it. The Chattanooga Theatre Centre is opening its 2011-2012 Out” at the Canteen sponsored by Brewo me, one of the most moving aspects CircleSeries season with the one-man er Media with complimentary snacks and of the stories of vets, especially those who show I Wasn’t No Hero: Stories from those beverages beginning at 7 p.m. before the 8 p.m. curtain. fought in World War II, is their reluctance who fought in World War II. Louis Varnell, director of the to talk about their war experiences. I reI Wasn’t No Hero: Stories from those who fought in member being tremendously affected by Southeast Veteran’s Museum, World War II stars in the show, based on stowatching Tom Brokaw’s interviews with D$18 ($9 vets and currently serving military) Day vets and seeing how emotionally shak- ries he’s collected from veterOpens Friday, September 2, 8 p.m. en they still were after all those years—and ans for many years. Described Plays Friday/Saturday 8 p.m. through September 17 hearing how many of them had never, until as a “sometimes hair-raising, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Stage, sometimes touching and funthat time, spoken about that day.

400 River Street. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Some years ago, I went on a bicycling ny” production, it’s likely to appeal to both theatre-lovers and trip through Normandy and Brittany. Two

T

www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

Screening of JeanMichel Basquiat: The Radiant Child

Well-reviewed documentary about the late painter. $9.95 (includes museum admission) 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968. www.huntermuseum.org

Thursday

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Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Film Night: Jean-Michel Basquiat: The Radiant Child 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448.

Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Lookouts vs. Montgomery Biscuits 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Pete Lee 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Friday

Tennessee Valley Railfest 10 a.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028. www.tvrail.com Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Fresh on Fridays Marketplace 11 a.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

“Going Within…and One Last Glimpse” Exhibit Opening Reception 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214. www.intowngallery.com Born to be Wild 3D 6, 8 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org “The Fabric of Life” Exhibit Opening Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 7, 9 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Mystery of Flight 138 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Lookouts vs. Montgomery Biscuits 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com MAZE featuring Frankie Beverly 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov

Pete Lee 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com I Wasn’t No Hero: stories of those who fought in World War II 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com Lantern Tour 8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544. www.rubyfalls.com Stand Up Comedy! Tom Simmons 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Showbar, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Saturday

Friends of the Library Book Sale 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310.

Tennessee Valley Railfest 10 a.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028. www.tvrail.com Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.

Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com

I Wasn’t No Hero: stories of those who fought in World War II

One-man show based on true war stories. $18 ($9 vets/current military) 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Art till Dark Noon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.com Rock City Summer Music Series Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Born to be Wild 3D 6, 8 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 7, 9 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Lookouts vs. Montgomery Biscuits 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com

ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar

SATURDAY

Tennessee Valley RailFest

All things train, including excursions and storytelling.

Free but excursions, some other events have a fee 9:30 a.m - 9 p.m.

Must park at Northgate Mall or Eastgate Town Center and take shuttle.

(423) 894-8028. www.tvrail.com Pete Lee 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com I Wasn’t No Hero: stories of those who fought in World War II 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Lantern Tour 8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 South Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544. www.rubyfalls.com Chattanooga Ghost Hunt 9:30 p.m. Patten Chapel, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 821-7125.

Stand Up Comedy! Tom Simmons 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Showbar, 6 065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

SUNDAY

Sunday

Tennessee Valley Railfest 10 a.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028. www.tvrail.com Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. w ww.chattanoogamarket.com Friends of the Library Book Sale Noon. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310.

Rock City Summer Music Series Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com First Free Sunday Noon. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Open Improv Jam for dancers, musicians, spoken word 3 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Lookouts vs. Montgomery Biscuits 6:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Movie Night 8 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Cafe, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224.

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Monday

Friends of the Library Book Sale 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310.

Tennessee Valley Railfest 10 a.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028. www.tvrail.com Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Arts in the Park Festival Noon. Veterans Memorial Park, 9300 Apison Pk. Collegedale. www.artsintheparkfestival.com Lookouts vs. Montgomery Biscuits 2:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Tuesday

Friends of the Library Book Sale 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310.

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Wednesday

Friends of the Library Book Sale 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5310.

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448.

Hot Rod & Auto Show at the Chattanooga Market

Marketgoers, start your engines!

Free 11 a.m.- 4 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion, 1836 Carter St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com

Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Save 2nd Base!

8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Ongoing

“Born in Trenchtown” Sewanee University Art Gallery, 735 University Ave. “All Themes Considered” Reflections Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072.

Kunstmuseum Wolfsburg at the Hunter Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944.

“The Fabric of Life” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Feature

Vieux Farka Touré : Mali Comes To The River

“The roots of music in Mali are as old as human history. It is the birthplace of what have become American and global musical traditions.”

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By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor

P

laying in front of a television audience estimated at more than a billion people might cause a few butterflies for most musicians—but Vieux Farka Touré took it all in stride. When the Malian musician, the son of the late world-famous guitarist Ali Farka Touré, was invited to perform during the opening celebration of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, he had already experienced touring the world, playing alongside his father.

But Vieux, who plays Riverfront Nights this Saturday, has now fully emerged from his father’s big shadow as a musical force in his own right. His second studio album, Fondo, released in May 2009, was included in the Village Voice’s Top 100 list for 2009.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

His third studio album, The Secret, was released in May of this year, produced by Soulive guitarist Eric Krasno and featuring Dave Matthews, Derek Trucks, and John Scofield. The Secret reached the #1 spot on CMJ’s New World chart on June 10.

Because Vieux’s English is limited, we sent questions to be translated into French to his management, and they returned the answers in English.

Here’s what he told us: The Pulse: “Vieux” is a nickname, meaning “old” in French. How did you acquire that nickname?

Vieux Farka Touré: I am named after my grandfather. It is our custom in Mali to give the nickname “Vieux” if you are named after an elder in your family, so I have been called Vieux all my life.

TP: Why do you think Malian music has become so popular and influential?

VFT: The roots of music in Mali are as old as human history. It is the birthplace of what have become American and global musical traditions. So to me it is natural that it continues to carry a very strong influence.

TP: What do you think of the term “world music”? How do you describe your music to yourself?

VFT: I do not like the term “world music”. What does that even mean? All music in the world is world music! I describe my music as African rock and blues because I think that is the easiest for people to understand. Of course, there is much more to it than that, but that gives people a good idea.

TP: What musicians do you listen to in your rare downtime?

VFT: I listen to a lot of African artists from Mali, Guinea, Senegal, Ivory Coast, etc. I also listen to

American rock and blues artists like Jimi Hendrix, John Lee Hooker and BB King. I also really like American pop music like Jay-Z, Beyonce, Rihanna, Eminem and those guys. That music always gets me moving and I love to blast it in my car.

TP: The progression from the album Fondo to the newest release, The Secret, seems to lead into more composed works, extending out from the edgier styles like Koroboro Rock and African Reggae. How did you want The Secret to differ from your previous releases as far as its overall sound?

VFT: For The Secret, I wanted it to be the deepest album that I have made so far. I wanted it to be at once the most traditional AND the most modern, if that makes sense. It is the blend of digging into the roots of Malian music and pushing into new styles that was my goal. I hope that I have accomplished that.

TP: The Secret features your final collaboration with your father. What was your working relationship with him like?

VFT: Most of the time that I played with my father I was playing percussion and drums for him, not guitar. We only played guitar together in a formal way during my first recording sessions for my first album. But I used to accompany him drumming and I will always cherish those memories. It was such a source of pride and so much fun. I remember the crowds going crazy for him everywhere we played, and I always take those memories with me as I play my own music.

Vieux Farka Touré: Riverfront Nights Free 7 p.m. Saturday, September 3 100 Riverfront Parkway, Downtown Chattanooga. www.riverfrontnights.com

MUSIC

New Music Reviews

Tuusanuuskat Nääksää nää mun kyyneleet (Fonal)

“It’s like some kind of engineered organism, designed to flutter and buzz around like an artificial insect that invades your space. ”

The new album from the instrumental Finnish duo Tuusanuuskat is a mess, and I mean that in the best possible way. Apparently, the band’s name is an acknowledgement of this, being a take-off of a Finnish phrase that means “complete shambles,” and although this suggests that the album—full of thick, strange, synthetic waves and alien sci-fi sonic punctuation—is dominated by disorder, this isn’t the case.

The two men behind Tuusanuuskat are Sami Sänpäkkilä (sole member of Es and founder of Fonal Records) and Jan Anderzén of Kemialliset Ystävät, which created one of this writer’s favorite albums of 2010, Ullakkopalo.

The album’s five tracks, “Tippa 1” (translation: “Drop 1”—as in “teardrop”) through “Tippa 5,” mostly use artificial sounds but without a purely clinical, rigid approach; it isn’t exactly an organic sound, but instead, it’s like some kind of engineered organism, designed to flutter and buzz around like an artificial insect that invades your space.

Nääksää nää mun kyyneleet opens with a speaker-destroying, dense, extended sound blast, possibly intended to weed out any faint-of-heart listeners, before shimmering and distorted notes take over. The synth cascades of “Tippa 3” make it relaxing on one level, yet simultaneously, it’s piercing and bothersome; it reminds me of one

Stephin Merritt Obscurities (Merge)

Music critic Robert Christgau wrote perhaps the most concise six-word summary of Stephin Merritt’s songwriting approach, in the form of a review of his band The Magnetic Fields’ album Holiday: “more songs about songs and songs.” Those familiar with Merritt know that this addresses his vast knowledge about popular music (this is

fan of Lou Reed’s infamous harsh noise album Metal Machine Music, who claimed, with all sincerity, that he listened to the album to relax.

“Tippa 4” starts with some seemingly uncertain notes, with sleigh bells and ringing metallic percussion, evoking somewhat a child’s playroom, and the album’s finest moment is the closer, “Tippa 5,” with contrasting high frequency tones and low drones, marked with persistent, simple melodies. Throughout the album, patterns emerge, and there’s a balance between unexpected turns and recognizable repetition, giving the listener a tether, so that he isn’t completely lost—there’s some method to the maelstrom.

— Ernie Paik

a man who named his Chihuahua after Irving Berlin) and also the non-personal nature of his songs—they’re about other songs, not his own history, going for a musical version of theatrical Brechtian distance. This is the guy who wrote the brilliant triple-album 69 Love Songs, with renderings of seemingly every popular song form, presented purposefully (with a smirk) as a churned-out, detached product.

The ukulele love song “Forever and a Day,” the opener on Obscurities, features the line “I know it’s a cliché,”—his own self-aware, reflective wink, acknowledging his use of emotional shorthand in his songwriting. It’s one of three songs included that were written for the unfinished musical The Song from Venus, co-penned with Daniel Handler (a.k.a. Lemony Snicket), among the wealth of rarities and unreleased tracks on Obscurities.

Although Merritt has a rich, deep (and eternally sad) baritone voice, he actually prefers others to sing his songs, and three guests are featured, including Shirley Simms, who delivers a simple, beautiful reading of the guitarand-voice country song “Plant White Roses,” Stuart Moxham of Young Marble Giants who sings the sixth track “Yet Another Girl” about a fast-living NYC scenester, and early Magnetic Fields vocalist Susan Anway on an alternate version of “Take Ecstasy with Me.” Like the diverse 69 Love Songs, it’s not sonically cohesive, going between strum-and-sing songs and off-kilter, sometimes dark synthpop numbers; alternating between inspired, low-fidelity juvenilia and clean, refined later work, it holds up much better than any oddsand-sods compilation probably should.

— Ernie Paik www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Concert Calendar

THURSDAY

Jamey Johnson

Country’s rough-and-ready dude opens Track 29. $35 8 p.m.

Track 29, 1400 Market St. (at the Choo Choo) (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co

Thursday

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Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Audience Choice Night 7 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com Blake Morrison 7 p.m. Spectators, 8021 East Brainerd Rd. (423) 648-6679.

Venia, Relentless 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Blues Jam with Rick Rushing 7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

FRIDAY

Scott Warren 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Bill Hopkins 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Jamey Johnson 9 p.m. TRACK29, Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co The Petal Stills and Mark Porkchop Holder 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. ww.thehonestpint.com Bryan Jones 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Find them on Facebook.

Shovels and Rope, Husky Burnette, Lone Wolf, Jacob Jones 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Soul Crush 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Austin Lucas, Bryan Hensley, Uncle Lightnin and Matt Bohannan 10 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Café, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224.

Friday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Blake Morrison 6 p.m. SkyZoo Lounge, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533.

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Slim Pickins 7 p.m. Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza, 850 Msarket St. www.nightfallchattanooga.com McPeake 8 p.m. Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. Digital Butter 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.comjimstriker Black Cat Moon 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Jompson Brothers, The Formidables, Lyra Lynn 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Machines Are People Too, New Binkley Brothers, The Cadillac Saints, Glowing Bordis 9 p.m. TRACK29, Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co Elk Milk 9:30 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay St. (423) 755-9111. www.lindsaystreethall.com Slim Pickins 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260.

The Jompson Brothers

“Born in the garage, made for the arena” and at JJ’s. $5 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Davey Smith and Tim Starnes 10 p.m. T-Bones Cafe, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com Set The Controls; A Tribute To Pink Floyd 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke & Dancing 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com

Saturday

The Barefoot Movement 10 a.m. Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0698. www.tnaqua.com Latin Fire 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224. www.ridetheincline.com Ogya Band 2 p.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224.

New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. www.seerockcity.com

MUSIC

Concert Calendar

SATURDAY

Vieux Farka Touré

Some call him the “Hendrix of the Sahara”.

Free 7 p.m.

Riverfront Nights, 100 Riverfront Parkway www.riverfrontnights.com Summer Music Weekends Open Jam Sessions 3 p.m. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. www.seerockcity.com Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com/localevents Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Amity, In This Hour, Tir Asleen, Axiorn, Camarilla 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Vieux Farka Touré 7:30 p.m. Ross Landing Park, Riverfront Pkwy. www.riverfrontnights.com Milele Roots, Soul Finger 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Critty Upchurch Band 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker

SUNDAY

Jordan Hallquist 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Find them on Facebook.

Crunk Bone Jones, The Married Men 9 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Black Cat Moon 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com The Velvet Hand 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Bartlee Norton & 64 Highway with Nathan Farrow Band 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com

Sunday

Ogya Band 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224. www.ridetheincline.com Yellow Deli Band 11 a.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. www.seerockcity.com Latin Fire 2 p.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224. www.ridetheincline.com

The Barefoot Movement 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com Free Range Mystics 3 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Roy Book Binder 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Roofless DJ Labor Day Weekend Dance Party 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Toubab Krewe With The Giving Tree 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com

Monday

Wednesday

Latin Fire 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224. www.ridetheincline.com Ogya Band 2 p.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224.

Mountain Music 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Comedy Night 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Find them on Facebook.

Tuesday

Mike Harris & Barry Wield 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com

Irish Music Session

Never a bad time for a bit of the musical blarney. $3 3 p.m.

The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Jenntastic Wednesdays 9 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695. www.holidaybowlbrainerd.com Sista Otis, Husky Burnette 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Moonlight Bride, Times New Viking, Mythical Motors 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

Life In The ‘Noog

Reflections On The Hair Bear Bunch Y

ou wouldn’t know it by the picture of me right next to these words (I’m wearing a hat) but I am folliclely challenged. In other words, I’m bald—cueball, Curly-Howard, bowling-ball bald. I haven’t always been bald, but I have since high school been “bald-ing.” I finally got wise several years ago with the help of a good razor and transformed my uncool balding into more-cool-but-not-as-coolas-hair bald.

Don’t get me wrong. “Balding” at age 17 made you the most popular guy in school—not necessarily with the ladies, mind you, but with anyone who had a taste for the hard cider (if you know what I mean). I guess it made you cool with the ladies until the goods were secured, then it was off to their “good hair” boyfriends to enjoy it. I learned my lesson real quick on that one, and made sure that my prowess for buying beer outshined (no pun) the “Flock of Seagulls” hairdos of my potential competition.

As I moved into my twenties and thirties, my continually creeping hairline started to look more and more like a baseball diamond with a shrinking outfield.

Not cool. So one day I gave up, and, while in the shower, decided to just shave off what was left. Now at first, this didn’t improve my look very much. As anyone (except me) knows, skin that was once covered by thick hair has a blue-ish hue when exposed. I looked like a cheaply wardrobed alien from the old Star Trek series until I was able to spend enough time out in the sun to tan it up a bit.

Now, just because I don’t have hair on my head doesn’t mean I am like a hairless cat all over. Quite the contrary. Baldness is caused by excessive testosterone, the hormone that helps grow hair in the first place. An oxymoron you would think, but the truth of this human phenomenon is very apparent when a bald guy takes his shirt off. I’m like a big ole bear from the neck down.

As I’ve grown and sort of matured, I’ve

Chuck Crowder “What part of ‘business in the front, party in the rear’ is fooling anyone?

I guess if you’re summoned to court a lot it works.” come to terms with my man-hide. But as I’ve gotten older and older, there are certain patches sprouting weeds where hair just should NEVER be. For example, nose hair isn’t limited to indoor booger brushes. Now, little hairs grow out the top of your nose as well, and you must pluck them. Hairs grow in, out and all around your ears, and you must pluck them. And finally, hairs are determined to join the no-man’s land between your eyebrows in an effort to create one unified brow, and you must pluck them. So, barring my DeWalt power drill, wireless router, pocket knife or push mower, the greatest tool on earth I own is without a doubt, ladies and gentlemen, a Tweezerman.

You can go a little too far with the shaving and plucking though. The current trend among the ladies of completely shaving their unmentionable bathing-suit area is something of an oddity for men my age and older. I mean, when you have a daughter who’s just entering her teens and you, the single dad, are out there

trying to relive your youth, the last thing you want to see on your few-and-farbetween conquests is an infield with no grass. It’s creepy.

Back in my day there were several ways a woman looked down there. Good girls had too much. Good girls who wanted to be bad did a little housekeeping now and again. And the bad girls liked to sculpt theirs into one of several popular options of the time—the landing strip, the flying V or my personal favorite—the shape of a heart. To me, the going bald trend these days just takes away a little of the mystery and personality of the female form. And that’s a little sad.

Back to the human hair that requires a stylist, I don’t know how I would wear mine if I had it. Maybe keep it long like David Lee Roth, maybe a Mohawk like Joe Strummer, or maybe even a bird’s nest like Bob Dylan. Likely I’d change it up often to keep people guessing. I wouldn’t be trendy though, and I certainly wouldn’t take it for granted.

It kills me to see things like a guy with a full head of hair that shaves it into a flat top or down to stubble. Blasphemy. It also makes me very angry to see extremely poor hair judgment, like a mullet.

Seriously? What part of “business in the front, party in the rear” is fooling anyone?

I guess if you’re summoned to court a lot it works.

No, I would appreciate my full head of hair, much in the way I don’t condemn too much the hair I’m “blessed” with.

Hair is a beautiful thing any way you look at it. Maybe that’s why the ladies get so mad when you don’t notice if they’ve modified theirs. So if there’s one thing I want you to take away from this gibberish, it’s that hair isn’t just for combing, it’s for admiring.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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Dining Out In Chattanooga

Mellow Mushroom Introduces Inspired Flavors

By D.E. Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer • Photography by Josh Lang

added to the menu, where you Since its founding in 1974, can add it to any item. Part hot Mellow Mushroom has spread far sauce, part barbecue sauce, and and wide. The original catered totally delicious, it is featured on to a college crowd near Georthe Spicy Mamba, a pie created gia Tech with ingenuity, great

by Mellow’s resident member beer—and even better pizza. of the US National Pizza Team.

That same formula has succeed(Yes, you read that correctly.) ed in broadening their customer Starting with a garlic and olive base considerably: From the oil base, it adds grilled chicken, epicenter, a single store in Atroasted red peppers, and peplanta, they have shaken up the peroncinis, tops them with mozworld of pizza, and now operate zarella and cheddar cheeses, more than 100 restaurants in 15 and finishes with a swirl of Deez states. sauce on top.

Imagination is Mellow’s greatThe Spicy Mamba was fanest asset. While they can and do tastic. Smoky and spicy, with make excellent pizzas that use bursts of sweetness from both traditional toppings, they are the Deez sauce and the roasted often better known for their crered peppers, it hit just about ative approach to the pizza pie. every taste note you can imagFor instance, the Philosopher’s “Our local Mellow Mushroom is embracing that ine. Each bite, down to the parPie uses an olive oil and garlic creativity wholeheartedly, producing various mesan-dusted crust that comes base and is topped with grilled items you won’t find anywhere else.” on every pie, was delectable. steak, Portobello mushrooms, In addition to the aforemenartichoke hearts, kalamata olives tioned Craft Cocktail Thursdays, and provolone, feta, and mozzatistic, fun atmosphere. “We have the leerella cheeses. Another specialty offering is way to be unique,” he continued. Using that every other day of the week has its own drink their Magical Mystery Tour, using pesto for latitude allows their customers “a peek into specials and promotions. On Mondays, all sauce, Portobello and button mushrooms, the hearts and minds of the people serving 40 beers on draft are only $3 apiece, making for a great starting point for those inmozzarella, spinach, feta, and jalapenos. them.”

The same fresh ingredients and thinking are The kitchen staff’s hearts and minds are terested in joining Mellow Mushroom’s Beer used to conjure up hoagies, salads, and a on display in Shroomer’s Corner, a section of Club. And on Wednesdays, they run Perfect wide variety of appetizers as well. the menu devoted solely to dishes created 10, with four entrée choices at $10 per, and Our local Mellow Mushroom is embracing in-house. “Our kitchen uses fresh, good in- pitchers of any draft for the same price! I’d that creativity wholeheartedly, producing gredients to begin with, which is what makes run out of space if I tried to list them all, but various items you won’t find anywhere else, all of our food so good,” Barber disclosed. you can check out their website for more information. including other restaurants of the chain. “That allows improvisation.”

Mellow Mushroom, as a chain, has been They allow their staff to exercise originality, The items listed in Shroomer’s Corner durand the results are on offer. Thursday night, ing my visit stood out as novel. First up was successful thanks to their laid-back vibe and for instance, is Craft Cocktail night, when Vampires Eat People, a roasted garlic and delicious, unique take on pizza. Downtown’s they allow their bartenders to conjure up all feta dip served with pita bread. Adding to installment continues the commitment to sorts of uncommon libations. Recent suc- their hoagie selection (which is already ex- both, and takes them to the next level. For cesses include pomegranate mojitos, jalap- pansive) was the Flat Pickin’ Chicken Salad pizza and more like you’ve never had beeno margaritas, and cucumber gin martinis. Sandwich, a lighter option which seemed fore, give them a shot.

Other selections include a Kraken, dark and like it would be a great choice for the season Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers, 205 Broad stormy with candied ginger, and pineapple- along with a light, seasonal beer. vanilla margaritas.

What drew my attention was Deez sauce, Street. Open 7 days a week, 11 a.m. to Manager Nathan Barber told me having created in the back and ordered by the serv- 12 a.m. Call (423) 266-5564 or visit www. staff-created items goes well with their ar- ers at every opportunity until it was finally mellowmushroom.com/chattanooga

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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SCREEN

Film Feature

Going Back To The Basement

“While she is warned by the gruff, mysterious groundskeeper to stay away, the voices whisper, ‘She’ll be back. They always come back.’”

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By John DeVore, Pulse Film Critic

T

he closer you look at fairy tales, the more disturbing they become. Children are frequently in danger, facing violent, shocking death at every turn; fairy-tale creatures are always loathsome, vicious and wickedly mischievous; at times, even the morals of the stories are dubious or misguided. We protect our children from being exposed to adult themes in films through arbitrary rating systems and yet casually introduce them to child-eating witches in classic folk tales like Hansel and Gretel. Even some of our children’s films are downright scary; what child isn’t creeped out by the boat ride in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory or traumatized by the Swamps of Sadness in The NeverEnding Story?

Fear is inextricably linked to childhood because the perilous unknown is never so prevalent than in the darkest corners of our immature minds. Think about it: There is no time in your past when both uncertainty and faith are so strong. Primitive people invented monsters

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

and supernatural first scene, this time seen in the daylight. It beings to explain is impressively symmetrical, filled with huntwhat they could ing trophies, antlers, and naturist splendor. It not understand. is at the same time a monument to death, full Children are no of dark spaces and endless gardens. Sally is different, except drawn to these gardens, seeking to lose herself for a much more in the lush beauty. She discovers a previously active imagina- unknown basement, with an ash flue that has tion. Adults also been curiously sealed shut. While she is warned have a powerful by the gruff, mysterious groundskeeper to stay need to protect away, the voices whisper, “She’ll be back. They the young. This always come back.” And she does, as she must, is why recent as the story demands it.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark is unexpectedly horror movies have made a con- wicked, tense and fun. The actors take the centrated effort subject seriously, especially in the case of our to show children plucky heroine Sally, who makes a potentially as supernatural silly film much more impactful and believable. antagonists; our The film is based on a made-for-television movnatural instinct ie of the same name, one that had a powerful to protect is pit- effect on screenwriter and producer Guillermo ted against our Del Toro. He has a knack for creating a sense natural instinct of the foreboding, with dynamically gruesome to survive, result- creature effects and eerie, atmospheric sets, as ing in heightened seen in films like Pan’s Labyrinth. Director Troy anxiety and bigger shocks built into the film. Nixey is a newcomer but is clearly effective Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark doesn’t stoop to with the material. As I mentioned above, the that level. It is, at its heart, a simple fairy tale, film is relatively simple. We understand how the plot will progress and the likely fates of a lurid look into the shadows.

The tale begins, like many horror stories, the characters. I was somewhat disappointed on a dark, dark night, in a dark, dark house, by the antagonists themselves; not that they in a dark, dark room. The house belongs to were poorly done, but that the unseen is far Emerson Blackwood, a 19th-century natural- more sinister than the seen. After their reveal, ist painter who has clearly lost his mind. He they become slightly less threatening. On the is seeking teeth, teeth for the sinister voices whole, however, the film works well.

I enjoyed Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark because coming from the ash flue in his basement. But of it is a departure from the gory, dismembernot just any teeth with do—the voices demand children’s teeth and are not pleased by Black- ment-happy depravity that is prevalent in most wood’s offering. The consequences are mostly horror films. It is far more unsettling to imagunseen, save for the vanishing of legs down a ine horrible death than to actually see it. This film focuses on the primal fears of humanity. deep hole.

The action jumps forward to many years lat- There is something waiting for you, just outside er, where we meet Sally (Bailee Madison), an the light, and it wants to eat your teeth.

8-year-old girl from a broken home, whose parents treat her as a possesDon’t Be Afraid of the Dark Directed by Troy Nixey sion rather than a person. She is a sad Starring Bailee Madison, Katie Holmes, Guy Pearce child, listless and lost, ripe for exploiRated R tation by unseen forces. The famRunning time: 1 hour, 39 minutes ily arrives at Blackwood Manor, the sprawling mansion introduced in the

SCREEN

New In Theaters

Sharkbait, Oh Ah Ah!

to be the killer surfaces in Ukraine, Singer travels to Eastern Europe to seek out the truth. The film was originally under the auspices of indie giant Miramax Films, but after their sale was handed over to Focus Features, which then kept it gathering dust on a shelf from its original late-2010 release date.

In this case, though, it appears the wait was worth it if only just to see the marvelous Helen Mirren in complete badass mode. Something about a cultured English thespian acting like a cross between James Bond and Lara Croft tends to make the movie popcorn taste that much better.

Starring Helen Mirren, Sam Worthington, Tom Wilkinson Directed by John Madden

Shark Night 3D A lake-house retreat on the Louisiana Gulf turns into a nightmare for a group of vacationers when they are subjected to an improbable phenomenon: fresh-water shark attacks. Bmovie specialist David R. Ellis returns with a cross between Deep Blue Sea and Anaconda, and likely with studio execs agreeing to fund the film based on the surprise box-office success of Piranha 3D. The cast of sharkbait victims includes both indie-horror vets and an American Idol runner-up, plus the usual run of unsuspected cameos. Look, it’s Labor Day weekend, when studios traditionally dump unwanted films, but what’s not to like about turning off the brain, donning a pair of 3D glasses, and watching a bunch of attractive young actors getting chomped, bitten and chewed up by giant sharks?

Starring Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack Directed by David R. Ellis The Debt In 1965, Mossad agent Rachel Singer was part of a secret mission to capture and bring to trial the Surgeon of Birkenau, a Nazi war criminal.

In her present-day life, when a man claiming

Apollo 18 Decades-old found footage from NASA’s Apollo 18 mission, where two American astronauts were sent on a secret expedition, reveals the reason the U.S. has never returned to the moon.

What, you mean you don’t remember the Apollo 18 mission? The one that never came back home? Of course, considering that most conspiracy theorists still maintain we never went to the moon in the first place, wouldn’t this mean the astronauts are still trapped on some remote soundstage in the Nevada desert? Oh, wait, that was Capricorn One. Directed by Gonzalo López-Gallego A Good Old Fashioned Orgy With access to his dad’s house in the Hamptons for a holiday weekend, a party-loving guy talks his best friends into having an orgy. All we can say is that, thankfully, this is one movie that didn’t end up being converted to 3D. Starring Jason Sudeikis, Leslie Bibb, Tyler Labine Directed by Alex Gregory and Peter Huyck Saving Private Perez A Mexican crime lord rallies a group of toughs in order to meet his mother’s demand: to infiltrate Iraq and rescue his brother. Upstart indie distributor Pantelion Films, which was behind the surprise hit From Prada to Nada, returns to a select few theaters with one of the weirdestlooking films this year.

Starring Miguel Rodarte, Jesús Ochoa Directed by Beto Gómez www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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ENTERTAINMENT

Free Will Astrology

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Avante-garde author Gertrude Stein was renowned for her enigmatic word play and cryptic intuitions, which brought great pleasure to her long-time companion Alice B. Toklas. “This has been a most wonderful evening,” Alice once remarked after an especially zesty night of socializing. “Gertrude has said things tonight it’ll take her 10 years to understand.” I expect that something similar could be said about you in the coming week, Virgo. It’s as if you’ll be glimpsing possibilities that won’t fully ripen for a while; as if you’ll be stumbling upon prophecies that will take months, maybe even years, to unveil their complete meaning.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I periodically perform a public ritual called Unhappy Hour. During this focused binge of emotional cleansing, participants unburden themselves of their pent-up sadness, disappointment, frustration, and shame. They may choose to mutter loud complaints or howl with histrionic misery or even sob uncontrollably. At the end of the ceremony, they celebrate the relief they feel at having freely released so much psychic congestion, and they go back out into the world feeling refreshed. Many people find that by engaging in this purge, they are better able to conjure up positive emotional states in the days and weeks that follow. It’s a perfect time for you to carry out your own Unhappy Hour, Libra. For inspiration, listen to my version here: http://bitly.com/UnhappyHour.

Solution To Last Week's Crossword

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Age of Mythology” is a computer game that invites participants to strategically build up their own civilization and conquer others. There are of course many “cheats” that help you to bend the rules in your favor. For instance, the “Wrath of the Gods” cheat gives you the god-like powers of lightning storms, earthquakes, meteors, and tornadoes. With “Goatunheim,” you can turn your enemies into goats, and “Channel Surfing” allows you to move your armies over water. But the cheat I would recommend for you right now, whether you’re playing “Age of Mythology” or the game of your own life, would be Wuv Woo, a flying purple hippopotamus that blows rainbows out its back end and blasts lovey-dovey hearts from its mouth. (P.S. Using it will make other good cheats easier to access.)

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “If you don’t become the ocean, you’ll be seasick every day,” sings Leonard Cohen in his song “Good Advice for Someone Like Me.” I think you already know that, Pisces. Of all the signs of the zodiac, you’re the top expert in simulating the look and feel of an ocean. But even experts sometime need tune-ups; even professionals always have more to learn about their specialty. And I think this is one of those times when you will benefit from upgrading your skills. If your intentions are pure and your methods crafty, you just may reach a new level of brilliance in the art of living oceanically.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Strange but true: To pave the way for your next liberation, you will have to impose some creative limitation on yourself. In other words, there’s some trivial extravagance or unproductive excess in your current rhythm that is suppressing an interesting form of freedom. As soon as you cut away the faux “luxury” that is holding you back, all of life will conspire to give you a growth spurt.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Using two tons of colorful breakfast cereal, high school students in Smithfield, Utah helped their art teacher create a gymnasium-sized replica of Vincent van Gogh’s painting “Starry Night.” After admiring it for a few days, they dismantled the objet d’art and donated it as food to a farm full of pigs. You might benefit from trying a comparable project in the coming days, Taurus. What common everyday things could you use in novel ways to brighten up your personal palette? What humdrum part of your routine could you invigorate through the power of creative nonsense? It’s high time to try some experiments in play therapy.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Of all the tribes of the zodiac, Sagittarius is most skilled at not trying too hard.

That isn’t to say that you’re lazy or lax. What I mean is that when it’s time for you to up the ante and push toward your goal with more force and determination, you know how to cultivate a sense of spaciousness. You’ve got an innate knack for maintaining at least a touch of cool while immersed in the heat of the struggle. Even when the going gets tough, you can find oases of rejuvenating ease. In the coming week, I suggest you make an extra effort to draw on these capacities. You will need them more than usual.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “The energy you use to read this sentence is powered, ultimately, by sunlight,” says science writer K.C. Cole, “perhaps first soaked up by some grass that got digested by a cow before it turned into the milk that made the cheese that topped the pizza. But sunlight, just the same.” That’s a good seed thought to meditate on during the current phase of your astrological cycle.

In the coming weeks, you will thrive by gleefully remembering your origins, by exuberantly honoring the depths that sustain you, and by reverently returning to the source for a nice, long drink of magic.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Wild mountain goats in northern Italy have been photographed moseying their way up and across the near-vertical wall of the Cingino Dam dam. (Go here and scroll down seven rows to see photos: tinyurl.com/GoatTrick.) It looks impossible. How can they outmaneuver the downward drag of gravity, let alone maintain a relaxed demeanor while doing it? They are apparently motivated to perform this feat because they enjoy licking the salty minerals that coat the face of the dam. I foresee you having a comparable power in the coming weeks, Capricorn. Rarely have you been able to summon so much of your mountain goat-like power to master seemingly unclimbable heights.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Speaking about her character Harry on the TV show Harry’s Law, Cancerian actress Kathy Bates said, “Harry is her own woman. She isn’t going to take guff from anybody. I’m very much like her. I try to be diplomatic, but sometimes pterodactyls fly out of my mouth.” I wouldn’t always advise you to follow Bates’ lead, Cancerian, but in the coming week I do: Be as tactful and sensitive as possible, but don’t be shy about naming the difficult truths or revealing the hidden agendas. Pterodactyls may need to take wing.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Phrygia was an ancient kingdom in what is now Turkey. In its capital city was the Gordian Knot, a revered icon that symbolized the power of its ruler. According to legend, an oracle predicted that whoever would be able to untie this intricate knot would become the king of all Asia. Early in his military career, Alexander (who would later be called Alexander the Great)

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visited the capital and attempted to untie the Gordian Knot.

He was unsuccessful, but then changed his tack. Whipping out his sword, he easily sliced through the gnarled weave.

Some regarded this as the fulfillment of the prophecy, and Alexander did in fact go on to create a vast empire. Others say that he cheated -- didn’t really do what the oracle had specified. And the truth is, his empire fell apart quickly. The moral of the story, as far as you’re concerned, Aquarius: Untie the knot, don’t cut through it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “My green thumb came only as a result of the mistakes I made while learning to see things from the plant’s point of view,” said gardener H. Fred Ale. I urge you to experiment with a similar approach in your own chosen field, Leo. Conjure up more empathy than you ever have before in your life. Use your imagination to put yourself in the place of whomever or whatever it is you hope to nurture and commune with and influence. And be perfectly willing to make productive errors as you engage in this extravagant immersion.

ENTERTAINMENT

Jonesin' Crossword — "We Don't Play That" Across 1 Want badly 6 High jumper of nursery rhymes 9 Somewhat 13 Czech writer/former president Vaclav 14 Simple rhyme scheme 16 Kumquat cover 17 Linda of “Dynasty” 18 At the head of the line 19 Frittata need 20 Playground equipment that’ll move if you’re really, really patient?

23 Gross-sounding fruit 24 Acknowledgement to the captain 25 Movie computer 28 Foot: Lat. 29 Leather shoe, for short 30 Sorta-striped feline hybrids 32 Former New York senator Al 35 Tiny bit

36 Playground equipment only the extremely strong can dive into?

41 Was in the red 42 Cast out 43 Cause hunger 46 A, in Austria 47 Encyclopedia unit abbr.

50 Screechy singer Yoko 51 Blood classification 54 Opera set in Egypt 55 Playground equipment that incorporates boxing?

58 You can buy bars of it 60 Congresswoman ___ Lowey 61 Get together 62 Don’t believe it 63 Teen follower 64 Campground dwellings 65 “Potpourri for $200, ___” 66 School grouping, in some states: abbr.

67 Get a good workout

Down 1 Destroy, in a way 2 Destroy, in another way 3 Becomes of use 4 Starbucks 20-ouncer 5 Lanchester of “Bride of Frankenstein” 6 Sweet hook?

7 With a BMI over 30 8 Does some floor work 9 Side length squared, for a square 10 “Whatever” 11 Verb ender 12 Viking scores, for short 15 Did a faceplant 21 One of The Judds 22 Lanka lead-in 26 Opposing side 27 Exam for future attys.

29 Cheese partner 31 Au-gment?

32 “Grease” actress Conn 33 Animator Avery 34 Village Voice-given achievement 36 “The Uplift ___ Party

Plan” (Red Hot Chili Peppers album) 37 McGregor who played Obi-Wan 38 Attention-getting submission, back in the day 39 It may be airtight 40 Spy novelist Deighton 44 NYSE unit 45 Laughing creature 47 Clear Eyes competitor 48 One-named folk singer 49 Like some developments 52 Rose McGowan, on “Charmed” 53 Rob of “90210” 54 Nixon running mate 56 Tippy-top 57 “Roseanne’s ___” (reality show) 58 ___ Na Na (Woodstock act, for some reason) 59 Family name in the “Popeye” series

Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0535

www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Ask A Mexican

Sartorial Excellence, Mexican-Style Dear Mexican, I see a lot of vatos around wearing the clam-digger pants with the knee-high white socks and white sneakers. While this is nothing new, I’ve noticed recently that the shoes and socks are the whitest white I’ve ever seen. If I wear white sneakers and socks, they get dirty pretty quickly, even if I stay on the sidewalk. So...what’s the secret? Spray paint? Slaving over a washboard with homemade lye soap so Junior Jr. can look like all the other homies? Some of that Mexican witch doctor magic? Zote? Not having a job and moving as little as possible, so as not to soil said garments? Whatever the secret is, I’m sure Proctor & Gamble would pay big bucks for it! — No Zapato Blanco

Gustavo Arellano

Dear Gabacho, Primeramente, it ain’t just the cholos looking spic ‘n’ span, it’s ALL Mexican men when not in work mode. Whether the wab with his 1000X Stetson, a hipster and his immaculate Chucks, some vendido who prefers Burberry suits, or a soccer fan that irons his Chivas jersey even though he knows it’ll be covered with sweat and beer after the game, hombres pay special attention to how they look—part vanity, por supuesto, but also old-fashioned values that remember a well-kept man is usually well-kept in everything else, también. Back to the cholos, I’m sure you also know hoods of all rayas pay attention to sartorial manners, whether Darth Vader, Al Capone’s fedoras, or the Brownshirts. That’s a byproduct of bling—trying to show the world how

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well your criminal life treats you—and good ol’ Freudian overcompensation for their sorry lot in life. For cholos, then, it’s a mix of the Mexican and the criminal that keeps him looking so unblemished— oh, and the woman in his life, whether a saintly mother or some Sharpieeyebrow-wearing ruca.

Dear Mexican, I’m so sick of hearing this “they want a better life” boohoo bullshit! Then if that’s true, why do they demand that the Mexican flag be flown in the US of A? Why do they paint Nazi signs on the U.S. flag? Shit on it? Desecrate it? Why do they show such contempt for AMERICAN CITIZENS instead of trying to assimilate and learn the language and act properly? I’m sure that some do, but most that I have seen hold the very country that they claim to want to live in so much in total contempt and make no attempts to hide it. How is someone a penjedo for disliking ILLEGALS in this country? Seems as though you are the pendejo of the 100,000th degree. — Not a Pendejo Dear Pendejo Gabacho, Actually, I’m at a level of pendejo so high that the collective brains of MIT and Caltech can’t comprehend it yet. But you dismantle your own argument by admitting that there are Mexicans who do assimilate and “act properly,” whatever

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 35 | September 1, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

chingada that means—but it’s not some, it’s ALL. Do you need to know English to be an American?

Nope. Only wave the American flag? Nope. Be a citizen? Not even close. I know illegals who are more American than your pendejo ass, and I know gabachos who are bigger leeches on this country than a Mexican mom on the government queso. How is someone a penjedo for disliking ILLEGALS in this country? Easy: for the lack of logic.

“Hombres pay special attention to how they look—part vanity, por supuesto, but also oldfashioned values that remember a well-kept man is usually wellkept in everything else.”

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK! We’ve plugged the Mexican-American Studies program offered by the Tucson Unified School District before in this columna, but we can’t do it enough. And as the academic year begins anew, we commend this endeavor anew. You know why Know Nothings hate this program, banda, and want to eliminate it? Because it actually helps students do better in school—and the last thing the old guard in this country needs is a bunch of educated cabrones ready to raise desmadre on America by keeping the good and dismantling the pendejo.

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican. net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at www.youtube.com/askamexicano!

www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 1, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 35 | The Pulse

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