The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 29

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative

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FREE • NEWS | VIEWS | MUSIC | FILM | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • sEptEmbER 29, 2011 • VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 39 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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ON THE BEAT DINING OF GREEN FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD LIFE IN THE NOOG

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PULSE OF THE CITY Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor Gary Poole Art Director Bill Ramsey Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih Contributors Rob Brezsny, Dave Castaneda Chuck Crowder, John DeVore Janis Hashe, Matt Jones Josh Lang, D.E. Langley Kelly Lockhart, Beth Miller Ernie Paik, Gary Poole Alex Teach, Tara V Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Editorial Intern Beth Miller Photography Josh Lang, Louis Lee Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

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Comedy From the Underground

By Dave Castaneda, Pulse Contributor

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he underground comedy scene has been in existence for a couple of years now and has gained a solid fan base, thanks to the work of many local comedians who have been pushing and promoting an alternative choice to comedy. One of the best opportunities to catch on to this new scene is at the All You Can Eat Comedy Buffet on Wednesday, October 5 when Jackie Kashian, April Richardson and Andy Wood will stop by JJ’s Bohemia.

A majority of the “A majority alt-comedy shows of the altin Chattanooga comedy shows are spearheaded in Chattanooga by Joel Ruiz—a loare spearheaded cal comedian who has been working

by Joel Ruiz—a on comedy shows local comedian all over the city who has been at nontraditional working on comedy venues such as JJ’s Bocomedy shows hemia, The Ofall over the city at nontraditional fice, Chattanooga Billiards Club and comedy venues.” more. Basically, anywhere there can be an audience you can expect a Ruiz and Co. comedy show to be held there. Through the comedy shows Ruiz and Co. have brought in many prominent comedians in the alternative comedy scene, including Doug Stanhope, who recently appeared on the FX television show

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 39 | September 29, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Louie, a television show created by Louis C.K. and Kyle Kinane, who was recently named in Variety’s “Ten Comics to Watch in 2010.”

This Comedy Buffet will prove to be a special one as there will be a special live recording of Los Angeles-based Jackie Kashian’s popular podcast, “Dork Forest.” The podcast focuses mainly on geeky comedy that is also the hallmark of Ruiz’s comedy series, Natural 20’s, which takes place at a comic book shop. Anyone who buys a VIP ticket will be invited to the special live recording.

Jackie Kashian also has a half-hour special on Comedy Central and has appeared on CBS and NBC. Along with Kashian, you can watch Andy Wood, who is the founder of the Bridgetown Comedy Festival, one of the fastest-growing comedy extravaganzas in the country.

The most interesting fact about Andy Wood stopping into Chattanooga is that when he created the Bridgetown Comedy Festival in Portland, Oregon, the city was a really weak comedy market—similar to Chattanooga. However, as a comedy promoter, Wood was able to turn this around by pairing the comics with philanthropy.

Andy Wood has also performed at Bumbershoot Art Festival, the Seattle International Comedy Competition, and the Bentzen Ball.

Alongside Wood, you will also see April Richardson who is originally from Atlanta but moved to L.A. to work on the E! hit show, Chelsea Lately.

If you’re doubtful about going to JJ’s for a comedy show, don’t be. The atmosphere is perfect for a sit-down environment where you can watch a good comedy show with friends in an intimate setting. “It’s a completely different experience for comedy when you go to JJ’s,” says Joel Ruiz. “John and Jenny care less about the money from comedy and just come in on their off nights to check out the show and see people have fun. What’s makes JJ’s a great venue for comedy is the relationship we built with the comedians.”

All You Can Eat Comedy Buffet $7 Regular / $10 VIP (21-plus only) 8 p.m. Wednesday, October 5 JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

NEWS & OPINION

Homeless Shelter?

Isn’t it ironic that homeless people were sleeping in the floor of dilapidated Farmers Market property in 2011, and the mayor purchased the property in 2006 for a one stop shop and shelter [“Fire Guts Old Farmers Market Building On 11th Street”]. As it turns out, the property is so polluted, the EPA will not allow overnight residency as an approved use. That’s right, no overnight residency.

Allison E. Downtown Alcohol Enforcement Whenever I read about neighbors whining about property values that live near places like nightclubs and such, I always want to ask them why did they move there in the first place?

There have been noisy nightclubs downtown on or near Georgia Avenue for decades. It’s like moving into a house next to the airport and then complaining about the noise. Maybe you should have paid a bit more attention to the neighborhood before buying your overpriced condo.

Marty Huber It seems to me that everyone involved in this story is a jerk [“Alcohol Enforcement Run Amok?”]. Corey Smith appears to be trying to make a career moment out of being a martyr when in fact he was just another self-indulgent

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

Music Hall appear unwilling to take any responsibility for running a dive with constant fights and problems. Add in a growing crime problem and roaming gangs of teenagers, and it’s a wonder anyone wants to go downtown anymore.

Phil Saunders Corey who?

Michael Cox

and self-centered “artist” who ignored a club’s request to not play a song and went ahead anyway. Officer John Collins appears to be a cop filled with his own importance and authority throwing his weight around to make clubs behave the way he wants them to, and all seemingly with no supervision from his superiors. The owners of the Midtown

Flu Vaccine Coming The Chattanooga-Hamilton County Health Department is now making appointments for seasonal flu vaccinations. Beginning October 3, the flu vaccine will be offered in the Health Department’s Third Street, Ooltewah, Sequoyah and Birchwood clinics. The CDC recommends annual flu vaccine for everyone age six months and older to reduce their risk of getting the flu. It is also important for the public to understand that some people are at a high risk of developing serious complications from seasonal flu. The CDC urges those at high risk and those who live with or care for someone at high risk for serious complications to get vaccinated.

Abena Williams Public Information Officer Chattanooga-Hamilton County Health Department www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

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NEWS & OPINION A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

to the county jail and charged with aggravated burglary.

• A common tactic of robbers is to not only take cash and valuables, but a victim’s cell phone as well. The reason isn’t that they want the cell phone for its value, but rather to keep their victim from being able to quickly call police. But that didn’t stop one such victim. A nursing student who was robbed in her own apartment of her phone and some cash immediately went to her computer after the robbery and asked her Facebook friends to call police for her.

Police say they were quickly notified and were able to respond to her apartment within minutes. Sadly, as of press time, no suspect has been identified, but police did note that they approved of the student’s quick thinking.

• It may seem rather obvious to make sure no one is home before breaking and entering, but criminals aren’t known for having above-average intellects. One such burglar will likely have to forgo his Mensa application after he was caught literally in the act. The residents of a Lovell Avenue home in East Ridge called police when they heard their sliding glass door open... which they heard clearly since they were at home at the time. Police responded almost immediately and caught the clueless burglar still inside the house. He was taken

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• Back in the more innocent days of the ’70s, “mooning” was a popular and relatively harmless form of selfexpression. Not so much these days, at least not in Dalton. A man, who admitted to police he had been drinking to the point of intoxication after having a fight with his wife, decided to drop trou at passing motorists. Officers quickly responded after a woman called 911 to report the mooning, taking the man into custody and charging him with public indecency and public drunkenness. However, he was also charged with child molestation because a 14 year old was in the car as well.

That charge, though, did not stand up as a judge later dropped it.

• And let this stand as a warning to all city employees: No matter what department you work for, do not use your cityissued computer to view or distribute pornography. That’s what your personal time

and personal computer are for. You most certainly should refrain from such activity if you are a high-ranking member of the fire department and you’ve been accused of sexual misconduct. Though an internal affairs investigation (conducted by the police department at the request of the fire chief) cleared the fire official in question, it did reveal he’d been using his city-issued computer for prurient purposes that were plainly prohibited. As a result, he received a 10-day suspension without pay and will have to attend mandatory counseling through the city’s employee assistance program. And hopefully will have learned to pursue his personal hobbies on his own time and with his own equipment.

OPINION

| On The Beat

Protect and Assume (Nothing) French techniques with American inventiveness in a curriculum taught by no less than the master chefs and cademy training. Field training. Insommeliers. Sixteen service training. Schools. Qualifications. years into the job, a Experience. new patron of your Like any real profession, my job is made of restaurant orders your the above…a perpetual stream of learning, specialty: Filet Mignon because police deal with what the learned aux Oignons, Gratin refer to as “Everything”, and “Everything” dauphinois (a pork filet has two nasty characteristics: It never mignon with onions ends, and it never stays the same. (Give it a and Dauphiné oventhought.) baked potatoes, quite We learn the basics, and from there place lovely, I assure you). You slave over it with upon them generalities. After that, we a mother’s care and patience and present it work on specialties, and some of us, on rare to said customer…only to have him request occasions, even become subject experts. a bottle of ketchup on the side. The gritting So resume in hand, I can tell you that of your teeth would be audible. (If you don’t after years of life, death, the mundane, more get this, I understand.) death, some pretty funny stories and a few It had been such a day when I received that would have made a normal person take a call to give someone a sip of water. a Brillo pad to their brains, you come to a “Repeat that?” I said (through similarly point in your career in which you pretty gritted teeth), and they did so. Verbatim. much know what time it is without a clock.

Unbelievable. I glanced down at the .45 on You “got this”; you my hip, the cuffs, the “own it”. So despite the Tazer, thought of all I was “She couldn’t shell of professionalism able to do after all these operate the the job requires, it can years…and I was being occasionally piss me/ called to give someone a remote on the us off when our time is sip of water. It had been television, get a repeatedly wasted with a day of such calls, and the truly mundane. this one? Unbelievable. drink, or clean Examples: I arrived in this state herself, yet her Last week, someone of mind at a house a called the police spirits were as block from E. Main St. because their car door Dodds Avenue. It bright as her eyes, and was unlocked and they was old but tasteful, and her wits well wanted it documented.

I knocked on the door.

Someone went out to No answer. (My teeth about her.” go to work, and found went from gritting to their car unlocked. Nothing was broken or grinding.) I contacted dispatch to see if they missing, no damage or any reason to believe were still home, and they said yes—just open a crime occurred or was about to occur… the door, it should be unlocked. Not normal they were just certain they had locked it 18 in this neighborhood, but what was normal in hours before, and wanted its unlocked state my area? documented in an official police record.

I entered and walked into the smell of “Just in case, you know?” the client said. medicine and mustiness we all associate with Well, no, I didn’t, but I kept that to myself. the elderly, and through the kitchen door I (Professionalism, remember?) saw a robed figure sitting awkwardly at an This is petty, I am aware, but try this angle in a wheelchair in front of an ’80s-era analogy: You are a chef who is a graduate of television with their back to me. The head French Culinary Institute, NYC, educated in moved slightly. “Hello?” the head asked.

Editor’s note: Alex Teach is on special assignment out of state this week, so we are reprinting one of his most memorable columns from September of last year.

A

Somewhere in my mind, the dark fog lifted from my mood and was replaced with a spark of understanding. “Hi! I’m Officer Teach!” I said with forced enthusiasm.

“Hello, officer! I’m so embarrassed,” she said through withered and toothless lips below striking light-blue eyes sunken into sockets; thin, sparse hair that couldn’t cover the liver spots on her scalp. “But could you please give me a sip of that water on the counter?”

She was a paraplegic; 84 years old and wrapped in a hospital-style cotton blanket, propped at an angle in her chair, she had to sit alone in the house for at least six hours a day since the state cut her home healthcare nursing assistance; her remaining relatives were long since dead. She couldn’t operate the remote on the television, get a drink, or clean herself, yet her spirits were as bright as her eyes, her wits well about her.

Righteous indignation turned to shame in less than a second, and I indeed held her glass of water with its flexi-straw to her lips, and smiled. Then sat and talked to her, nearly every day I worked for the rest of that year. She died on a warm Tuesday, as I recall, and I took that report, too.

She was an extremely uncommon lady who reminded me of something they taught me in training so many years ago: There is no “average” call, and if this didn’t bring that full circle I don’t know what could have.

I still don’t care that you left your car unlocked; I will not fix your cable…but I’ll bring water to a nice lady (and even clean out her gutters) and may not presume the worst before I do so. Cynicism comes with experience. But eventually, so does humility.

Training, after all, never ends. (Thanks for that; miss you, Ruby.)

Alex Teach

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

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COVER STORY

riverrocks challenges chattanooga to dive in, climb high, ride fast and rock hard during its 2nd annual festival celebrating the city’s

S I X T H

A N N U A L

ONE BRIDGE ARTFESTIVAL Saturday • October 1st • Noon to 8pm Sunday • October 2nd • Noon to 6pm Friday night reception for FEATURED ARTIST STEPHEN GRAHAM Friday • September 30th • 6 to 8pm For more info and full schedule: www.onebridgefolkart.com

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Winder Binder

Gallery of Folk Art & Bookstore 40 Frazier Ave. 423.413.8999 winderbinder.com

Mon.-Sat. Noon to 7 p.m.

Sunday 1 to 6 p.m.

COVER STORY

RIVER DEEP, MOUNTAIN HIGH C

hattanooga, how do you define dedication? Is it the drive to beat the sun to his morning wake-up call and get in a training run, ride or swim despite a warm bed’s temptation to stay inside? Is it the countless hours working with dirt-encrusted fingernails and characterized by careful devotion to

cultivating organic, sustainable food? What about the moments when day and night blend together while you are trying to locate that one word or phrase perfectly encapsulating the emotion in your lyrics?

BY BETH MILLER • PHOTOS COURTESY RIVERROCKS Mike and Stormy McGauley, co-founders of Chattanooga Presents!, have a dedication to the Chattanooga community that resulted in what is quickly becoming the Southeast’s premier outdoor festival—RiverRocks. Celebrating its second year, the RiverRocks Festival is evolving into a brand name, hosting more than 90 activities ranging from kayaking to hot-air balloon rides to wine tasting, and including competitive events drawing participants from other states and countries. At the heart of the festival is the entertainment, providing festivalgoers with a spectrum of talent, ranging from locally grown to world-renowned.

RiverRocks is not just another cotton-candy, popcorn, ponyride festival that gets checked off the to-do list, like mowing the yard or cleaning out the gutters. This festival has its own to-do list. This festival is on a mission—and comes complete with its own mission statement: “Produce a fun-filled, family-friendly, environmentally conscious event that celebrates the incomparable natural resources of the region and the activities they inspire, the health

RivERRocks

WWW.RIVeRRoCkSCHATTAnooGA.CoM

SEPT. 30 – OCT. 9, MulTIPle TIMeS And loCATIonS. FoR A CoMPleTe eVenTS SCHedule, See SPeCIAl InSeRT In THIS ISSue.

benefits of an active outdoor lifestyle and Chattanooga’s commitment to environmental stewardship and land conservation.”

But what does it take to accomplish such an involved task? The McGauleys spent the better part of three years developing what they envisioned to be an “amazing community celebration.” Considering that last year’s RiverRocks brought in 41,000 people— roughly a quarter of Chattanooga’s population—it is fair to say, “Mission accomplished”. However, with future goals including the number of participants reaching 100,000 by 2014, it seems

the sky’s the limit. For this year’s festival, Mike McGauley hopes “to expand our offering of adventure sports activities, continue to showcase the city in a different way and create a sense of pride.”

The McGauleys began by removing barriers, allowing the festival to spill into the community in order to “shine a light on the remarkable story of a city that has reinvented itself.” There is much to celebrate, with 60,000 acres of protected land within a 15-mile radius bringing nature enthusiasts, hardcore outdoorsy types and casual observers many opportunities for mountain biking, hiking, kayaking and canoeing, bird watching, running and climbing. RiverRocks has two very important agendas: to create awareness of the

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COVER STORY eight supporting land trusts and conservancies, and to engage kids in an active lifestyle at a younger age.

The gatekeepers of much of this protected land are the Tennessee River Gorge Trust, the Trust for Public Land, Lula Lake Land Trust, North Chickamauga Creek Conservancy, Cumberland Trail, the Lookout Mountain Conservancy, Friends of Moccasin Bend and Reflection Riding Arboretum & Botanical Garden. In an effort to preserve “our unique assemblage of natural resources” and maintain Chattanooga’s reputation as the Scenic City, RiverRocks plans to donate 50 cents of every dollar given by contributors and sponsorships to these trusts and conservancies. The bottom line is that without these entities, Chattanooga’s outdoor playground would be much smaller—or even nonexistent. Each one of the trusts and conservancies provides festival participants an opportunity to learn about the local environment and gain a better understanding of exactly what they do for Chattanoogans. And many of these events are designed with kids in mind, especially on Saturday, October 1: • The Family Nature Games introduce children to the outdoors and encourage physical activity while getting in a little family time.

Come out and play as a family and learn about nature’s unique capabilities.

• Running parallel to the Nature Games is “Ranger Rick’s Big Backyard Clean-up,” offering kids an opportunity to become “budding stewards of the Earth” while learning about their local environment. Topping off the event are Earth-friendly games and the chance to meet live critters as well as a huggable Aquarium mascot.

• Did you know that the Eastern Screech Owl has two color

“RivERRoCks IS NOT juST ANOThER COTTON-CANDy, POPCORN, PONyRIDE fESTIvAl ThAT GETS ChECkED Off ThE TO-DO lIST, lIkE MOWING ThE yARD OR ClEANING OuT ThE GuTTERS. ThIS fESTIvAl hAS ITS OWN TO-DO lIST.”

morphs during its lifetime? The folks at the Chattanooga Arboretum and Nature Center would like to offer participants an opportunity to learn about screech owls, including what they eat and how they hunt. A tour of the facility will be part of this event. Bring the kids and learn some new and cool things.

• Wrapping up the evening will be the Hot Air Balloon Glow at 7 p.m. Taking place at Coolidge Park and lining every bridge, filling every grassy patch and covering every ounce of concrete, this event will fill the sky with “gigantic lanterns.” This is a wonderful opportunity to share a unique experience with your family as well as the Chattanooga community.

RiverRocks also showcases many events aimed at adult athletes, divided into three main categories: River, Mountain and Terrain.

Ruth Thompson, events coordinator at Outdoor Chattanooga, notes, “Our City Parks and Recreation staff will assist with the RiverRocks Canoe and Kayak Races, the Chattanooga Head Race and Swim the Suck 10-Mile Open Water Swim.”

Try paddleboarding with Chattanooga’s very own SUP Paddleboard. Brenda Lowe of Survivor: Nicaragua 2010 and founder of Paddleboard Miami will be on site, revealing the SUP arts. Plenty of opportunities will be offered for every skill level, from beginner to expert.

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COVER STORY Calling all climbers and cavers! The Mountain events provide many opportunities to get some hang time on the Coolidge Park Climbing Wall or for heading to Urban Rocks Gym for the BouldeRave, a “cosmic climbing party” benefiting The Trust for Public Land. Test your small-space capability while looking for fossils and cave inhabitants at the Wild Cave Adventure. The Triple Crown of Bouldering rearranged its dates in order to be part of RiverRocks.

This internationally known event brings with it the prestige of many world-renowned climbers.

Dust off those running shoes, air up your bicycle tires, or break out the hiking boots. The Terrain events include all mountain- and road-biking activities, road and trail runs as well as 18 hikes. The Rock Creek Stumpjump 50K trail run lured 784 participants from 25 states last year, and has recently been chosen as the 2011 Tennessee State Ultra Championship. According to Rock Creek’s website, “[The] proceeds benefit Wild Trails, an organization dedicated to the use, expansion and promotion of trails in greater Chattanooga.” Not an ultra runner? There is an 11-mile option that is every bit as tough as its big brother.

Music plays a big part in RiverRocks this year. The 3 Sisters Music Festival will bring us a toe-tappin’, foot-stompin’ good time. 3 Sisters drew 10,000 to its stage last year, and organizers hope to woo even more music lovers with opening acts such as The Dismembered Tennesseans and Bluetastic Fangrass. There is something for everyone, ranging from the bluegrass of the Appalachians to a more contemporary, rock/pop style.

3 Sisters has a unique addition to the lineup this year with Solas, a Celtic band the Boston Herald deemed “the first truly great Irish band to arise from America.” The evolution of country, folk and

THE JAYHAWKS

8 P.M. SATURDAy, OCT. 8 frEE • COOLIDGe PARK bluegrass has progressed over the years into experimental combinations of different music genres, and Solas successfully mixes a traditional Irish sound with folk and country, adding a hint of blues and jazz.

In addition to the 3 Sisters, the Jayhawks, a Minneapolis-based band, bring it home during the final weekend with a blend of traditional rock, country and folk. Their latest album, Mockingbird Time, reflects the influence of musicians such as Bob Dylan, Gram Parsons and The Louvin Brothers. Jayhawks founders Gary Louris and Mark Olson said in an interview with Rolling Stone in November

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2010, “Our goal is to make the best Jayhawks album that’s ever been done.”

The Jayhawks’ story sounds oddly similar to many VH1 Behind the Music episodes. The band formed in 1985 and was classified as “alt country.” Louris and Olson had started in the music business in different bands, but upon meeting decided to join forces.

Once together, they endured numerous band members coming and going and failed record deals until finally finding a spark of success in 1989 with the release of Blue Earth. They were then signed to American Records, where they produced what is considered their breakthrough album, Hollywood Town Hall in 1991. This album brought them many radio hits and a tour that resulted in the 1995 album, Tomorrow the Green Grass. Despite Louris and Olson’s split in 1995, the band maintained a loyal following. Managing to hang onto their creative, musical vibe, the guys decided to reunite, producing Mockingbird Time, of which Louris says, “This is a record for a true Jayhawks fan who loves Tomorrow The Green Grass.” The Jayhawks’ perseverance and dedication to their music is evident in the carefully selected song lyrics that return to their roots and come together with a Beatle-esque quality to fittingly tell stories of hardships, success and love. Presented by New Belgium Brewery, the Jayhawks play for free in Coolidge Park Saturday, October 8 at 8 p.m.

Shakespeare wrote, “One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.” If that’s the case, RiverRocks will bring the whole world a heck of a lot closer in its 10-day run. Why not find out for yourself?

Beth Miller is a UTC student and an intern at The Pulse.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Fine Time to Get Musically Festive

By Tara V, Pulse Music Writer

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aint my face, hand me a glass of cider, start the bonfire, and let me listen to the music. Fall is here, and with it are many festivals and events that in some ways overwhelm the normal human being. This month is the beginning of it all, and as we enter October, thoughts of what scarves will be OK smeared with S’mores and which Halloween party to attend flood the radar.

But before you pull out the marshmallows or fake blood, take this weekend to drink some wine, visit your favorite three sisters and learn you some culture.

Wine Over Water On Saturday, October 1, the Walnut Street Bridge will open up to those winelovers wishing to support Cornerstones, Inc. Cornerstones is Chattanooga’s only nonprofit historic preservation organization working to continue our city’s architectural heritage and urban fabric. With more than 100 wines to sample and tastes of local restaurant favorites such as St. John’s, Easy Bistro, 212 Market and Table 2, this fest’s pairing of food and wine can only be accented with great local music.

Blue Mother Tupelo, Gerle Haggard, The Darren Johnson Effort, Lumbar Five and Holly McCormack will fill the river air for what has become a staple event here in the Valley.

Saturday, October 1 5 p.m. $60 www.wineoverwater.org 3 Sisters Bluegrass Festival On Friday and Saturday, you will be hearing banjos, but won’t have to paddle faster unless it is to get yourself to the Chattanooga Green. The 5th Annual 3 Sisters Festival returns to showcase some of the finest in bluegrass music. Sponsored

by Fletcher Bright and produced by Chattanooga Presents!, this two-day festival already has some great names behind as well as in front strumming those strings. On

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“Blue Mother Tupelo, Gerle Haggard, The Darren Johnson Effort, Lumbar Five and Holly McCormack will fill the river air for what has become a staple event here in the Valley.”

Friday, The Dismembered Tennesseans will headline and these legends will not disappoint. The band formed in 1945 when a group of McCallie boys with no long-range plans but a long love for music met. After 65 years of touring and playing, the love is still there. But don’t worry if you miss Friday—they will be playing on Saturday as well. Bluegrass greats such as the Emmit Nershi Band, the Travelin McCourys, Lone Mountain Band, and many more will grace the stage and give you an outstanding transition into autumn.

Friday, September 30 5 p.m.

Saturday, October 1 Noon Free www.3sistersbluegrass.com CultureFest On Sunday, October 2, the Chattanooga Market hosts the AEC CultureFest.

Benefiting the Arts & Education Council, this day of fun brings everything from children’s activities to cooking demos and live music performances. (The Market stays open an extra hour just to fit in the fun.)

There will be a full day of world dance and music from countries such as India, Mexico, Egypt and Africa. The Chattanooga Pipe Band will hit the Patio Stage and Danish storytelling and Japanese Tea Ceremonies will also be in the mix. Sunday will give even the most well-rounded person a chance to learn, taste, and dance to the cultural traditions of our world—and with many of those traditions being practiced in our own offices, neighborhoods and playgrounds, it will serve as a day to also get a better sense of our friends around us. Plus, there will be face painting so...I’m in.

Sunday, October 2 Noon Free www.chattanoogamarket.com

MUSIC

Hella

Jens Lekman

(Sargent House)

(Secretly Canadian)

Tripper

I can imagine the two members of Hella, electric guitarist Spencer Seim and drummer Zach Hill, shouting “Regroup!

Regroup!” and running around, before the making of their latest album. Let me explain.

Hella began as a two-piece, in the vein of similarly intense duos like Ruins and Lightning Bolt, playing rigorous, unrestrained proggy math rock. Along the way, the group developed a penchant for experiments, including the double-album Church Gone Wild/Chirpin’ Hard, which consisted of a pair of solo albums

by Seim and Hill under the Hella name, and the Acoustics EP, which featured Hella reworkings with acoustic guitars and brushed drums, still relentless and impossibly busy.

However, Hella’s most drastic experiment to date is its foray as a five-member band with a (gasp!) lead singer, featured on its 2007 album There’s No 666 in Outer Space—a misstep (though kudos for trying) in this writer’s opinion.

The new Hella album, Tripper, features the original core duo of Seim and Hill (who has recently been playing in guitar-shred mistress Marnie Stern’s band) playing instrumentals, and upon hearing this, fans may nod knowingly and recognize it as a sort of return to form. That is, it’s like being shaken violently for 40 minutes, and it might very well be a mind-blowing experience to newcomers who haven’t experienced Hella or its ilk. Those familiar, however, may crave a little variation, as the songs start to bleed together; more odd, warped sections, like the distorted beginning of “Kid Life Crisis” and the manipulated middle passage of “Furthest,” would have helped the album. Is “more of the same” better than “an experimental misstep”? In Hella’s case, yes, but perhaps it is a necessary cleansing of the palate—a little slice of ginger to go with the dollop of wasabi, for this group that has never remained still for too long.

— Ernie Paik

An Argument with Myself It’s been four years since pop crooner Jens Lekman’s last proper release, the outstanding Night Falls over Kortedala, and if his new EP, An Argument with Myself, is an accurate reflection of that time, he’s been trying to grasp his own fame (well, the indie rock kind of fame) and contemplating geography.

Take, for example, “Waiting for Kirsten,” about Lekman learning that actress Kirsten Dunst—a Lekman fan—wasn’t able to attend his show in his native Sweden, where she was shooting a film, because, as the catchy chorus goes, “In Gothenburg, we don’t have V.I.P. lines.” Lekman sits outside her hotel late that night with a friend, drinking beer and getting reprimanded by hotel staff, but never gets to meet her. It’s a bit awkward. Also awkward, but presented confidently, is the title track, whose heated exchanges suggest a sort of split-personality disorder—a man walking down the street, throwing animated verbal barbs at himself.

This detail-intensive songwriting style, which holds back no insecurities, is part of what endears him to fans; no romantic gesture is too eccentric, and the satirical article from The Onion entitled “Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested” specifically comes to mind. It’s a jumble, geographically, going from Sweden to Melbourne, Australia (Lekman’s current home), and even citing Santiago, Chile as a destination in the EP’s highlight, “A Promise,” which bears a resemblance to David Bowie’s “Ashes to Ashes.” Its musical geography is also incongruent and seemingly unabashedly uncool, at times evoking Paul Simon’s Graceland and Barry Manilow’s “Copacabana,” and throwing in string sections and reggae inflections. The bright, pristine pop amalgams have an undercurrent of unease, and it’s a bit like a conversational aural walking tour; in line with Night Falls over Kortedala but perhaps slightly less memorable, song-for-song, its high points and stick-to-your-ribs melodies show a welcome return for Lekman. — Ernie Paik www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

THURSDAY

The Nappy Roots

Alt Southern rap. Seriously. $12 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Thursday

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Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253.

Audience Choice Night 7 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com Songwriter’s Night 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Blues Jam with Rick Rushing 7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Scott Warren & The Booze Mountaineers 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Brock Blues Band 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 39 | September 29, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

FRIDAY

Billy Hopkins 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Find them on Facebook.

Ded Baby Robots, Swift Earl, Mr Sinister 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Rev Marco and the Gypsy Three with Amber Fults 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Jordan Hallquist 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Black Friday 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com The Nappy Roots 9:30 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com

Friday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com/localevents Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 East 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Show The Fight, Axiom, Encounters, Reach, Wolves, Caldera, 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com

Threadbare, Brother with Wilder Adkins 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Channing Wilson 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold.

(706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Christy & Josh 8 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Strung Like A Horse 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike.

(423) 266-1996. www. tremonttavern.com Tommy Davis 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Find them on Facebook.

Robbie Jordan Band 8 p.m. Southside Saloon and Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Crane 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker The Turnt Up Tour featuring Paper Diamond 9 p.m. Track 29, Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co Buchner Brothers 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Cadillac Saints, Soul Mechanic 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Paper Diamond

Driving beats, spacey synthesizers $12 advance, $15 door 8 p.m.

Track 29, Chattanooga Choo Choo (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co Verb 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Fly By Radio 10 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke & Dancing 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com Husky Burnette 10 p.m. T-Bones Cafe, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

Saturday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com/localevents Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

The Delta Queen Duo: Laura Sable & Bill Wiemuth 8 p.m. Delta Queen Hotel, 100 River St. (423)468-4500. www.deltaqueenhotel.net

MUSIC

SATURDAY

Evan Dando and The Lemonheads

Performing songs from their classic album, It’s A Shame About Ray. $15 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Downstream 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Towe Jam 8 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Buchner Brothers 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Johnny Dropout 9 p.m. Southside Saloon and Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com The Regulars Band 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Soul Survivor 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

MONDAY

Evan Dando and The Lemonheads 9:30 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Bohannons 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Jordan Hallquist & The Outfit, Ryan Oyer 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Satisfaction: A Tribute to The Rolling Stones 10 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com

Sunday

Irish Session Music 3 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Mike Mains and the Branches, Ocean Is Theory, Telemonster, Festivals 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com The Fells 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com The Delta Queen Duo: Laura Sable & Bill Wiemuth 8 p.m. Delta Queen Hotel, 100 River St. (423)468-4500. www.deltaqueenhotel.net Gold Plated Gold, Crass Mammoth 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Monday

Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

Big Kitty, The Back Pockets, Cale LeFevre 9 p.m. Collective Warehouse, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 488-0631. www.facebook.com/collectiveclothing Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com.

Tuesday

Karaoke 6 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Ghostland Observatory 7 p.m. Track 29, Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Aaron Lowrence 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Dance Party: Stoop Kids 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Wednesday

Roger Alan Wade 6 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com

Big Kitty, The Back Pockets, Cale LeFevre

A don’t-miss triple bill at the Collective. $5 9 p.m.

Collective Warehouse, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 488-0631. www.facebook.com/ collectiveclothing Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Brent Dennen 7 p.m. Track 29, Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Joe Fletcher and the Wrong Reasons, Uptown Lowmen 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Jenntastic Wednesdays 9 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695. www.holidaybowlbrainerd.com Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors 9 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

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SCREEN

The Real Horse Whisperer

By John DeVore, Pulse Film Critic

E

veryone with an interest belongs to some type of subculture. I’m sure that most horse enthusiasts, ranchers, modern-day cowboys, fox hunters, etc. wouldn’t consider themselves to be part of a strange, underground group of like-minded folks, but from the outside, they don’t look much different than a Comic-Con fan boy. Horse people just have more functional costumes.

I can attest to the relative strangeness of this particular subculture. I remember watching in bemused disgust and morbid fascination as my high-school girlfriend, who owned several horses, allowed a random horse to bathe the entirety of her neck and face with its tongue for what seemed like an eternity. Most of my conversations involved her weird obsession with these giant, bizarre-looking animals. In the fall and spring, I was roped several times into helping her family haul hay; I get the impression now that boyfriends were a great source of free labor for her father, since she managed to keep me around just long enough to get through the season.

I never wanted to ride one of their horses. I was already at a disadvantage with her parents by being a teenaged boy. My aversion to their favorite pastime only solidified my position as a dangerous interloper. There was nothing to be done about it; however.

I feel that big animals are best viewed from afar. Horses belong in cowboy movies, not my backyard. So when I see a documentary like Buck, which is based on the man who inspired the Robert Redford film The Horse Whisperer, it has to be especially well made to hold my attention. Buck is well made. It succeeds because it paints an engaging picture of a good man, one who gently tries to understand animals as they are.

Buck Brannaman is a man who understands fear. He and his brother were raised to perform rope tricks for rodeo audiences by an abusive, alcoholic father. Footage of their performances and interviews suggest the boys are carefully trying to avoid punishment. Much the same way, young horses were traditionally “broken” for riders, often in abusive, brutal ways. Trainers imbued young horses with human characteristics, labeling them ornery or defiant,

taking any misstep as a personal affront.

The animals are forced into painful, awkward positions for the purpose of obedience and aesthetics. This may be changing, slowly, as many horse owners have begun attending clinics put on by Buck to learn a better way. people in the film have a deep and abiding love Buck was drawn to horse training because of for these animals. The horses are their children his past, which informed his ability to connect and their children need proper guidance. Yet I to a fearful creature on primal level. What oc- found them slightly off-putting, much like dog curs on screen may look like magic to those that breeders and pageant moms. Maybe it just understand what they are seeing. Many of the seems a bit disingenuous to profess powerful, attendees of the clinics look stunned by what enduring love for a living creature that you use transpires in the ring. I was, however, more for transportation. affected by watching Buck ride a horse alone, The film isn’t interested in those types of leading it through a series of elegant, dance- thoughts, however. It wants to show how spelike movements in a wide green field against cial Buck is, and how important his methods a distinctly American sky. To call it effortless are to a community of animal lovers. It wants would be an understatement; us to see Buck as he is—a quiet, introspective the horse moves intuitively to man who loves his family, loves his work, and its master’s direction; all in- is successful in both aspects of his life. The struction so slight, the naked film does what a good documentary should and eye can scarcely register any at brings the audience into the world of a subject all. His lessons appear distinct- hidden off the beaten path. The backdrops of ly Tao, focusing on the natural rural America, with its rugged mountains and rather than the forced, flowing rolling green hills, are ever present, framing the like a river to an outcome pre- story beautifully. Perhaps Buck is right; maybe determined by universal truth. the horse does mirror his trainer. But this truth Buck, at times, is guilty of leads to one that is more encompassing. Paspersonifying the horses him- sions mirror the passionate. We see ourselves self, albeit in a more positive much more clearly in our own obsessions. Tales manner than through disap- are spun through our simplest actions. Buck pointment and anger. He sees just learned to channel his tale into triumph. the behavior of a horse as the window to the Given where he came from, that is more of a soul of the rider. Many times, the audience miracle than riding a freshly broken colt. is told that horses are mirrors, reflecting the troubles and insecurities of the Buck trainer. Buck’s own insecurities are what Directed by Cindy Meehl make him so capable. These horses alNot rated low him to care for a creature in the way Running time: 88 minutes he was never cared for. At times, it apPlaying as part of the AEC Independent Film pears Buck’s clinics are as much therapy Festival at the Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. for the humans as they are training for www.carmike.com the horses. Many people are brought to tears through Buck’s gentle chiding. The

“At times, it appears Buck’s clinics are as much therapy for the humans as they are training for the horses.”

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 39 | September 29, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Nothing Off Limits Is Key

By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor

K

ristin Key, playing the Comedy Catch through Sunday, was a finalist on the 2006 season of Last Comic Standing.

Having seen her work live, I can guarantee she is one funny dame. We caught up with Kristin before she hit town for her four-night gig: The Pulse: You’ve now been doing standup professionally for some years. What, if anything, has changed about the way you work? Do ideas still come from the same places?

Kristin Key: When I first started comedy I wasn’t even old enough to drink or get into some of the comedy clubs. I’ll be honest, at 19, my comedy was not groundbreaking and my audience really didn’t have to think too much about my jokes. But when you think that I started in a small town in Texas...that’s probably a good thing. I’ve always tried to make each show more than just a showcase of my jokes, but a memory that the audience and I share. I never want to do the same show twice. I like us both to be on our toes.

If anything has changed, it’s that I’ve grown up and my comedy reflects that. My material has always represented topics, challenges, and experiences that are going on during that time in my life. Ideas still come from the world that I’m living everyday. There’s still nothing off limits and I truly do believe that there’s humor in everything.

TP: Since you play dates all over the country, do you adjust your act in any way to different regions?

KK: It’s weird, but my accent definitely plays a role in my show. I travel so frequently that my accent seems to adjust to

“I played a room called The Bait Bucket in GunBarrell, TX. A woman was extremely drunk and wouldn’t shut the hell up. I made a few comments about her teeth (or lack thereof) and she charged the stage.”

what region I’m in. When I’m in Texoff my show, but I’m still going to get as, my Southern drawl comes back. my laughs—now at their expense.

When I’m in Minnesota, I find myself TP: What’s the biggest disaster rounding my O’s. I don’t know why that’s ever happened to you on stage? and I don’t notice it until I get back What about the show that stands out home and my friends make fun of as the best you’ve ever done? me. I don’t really adjust my material KK: Biggest disaster ever on stage for the region, but my accent has a was on my 21st birthday. It was the mind of its own. first time I’d ever headlined. I played TP: Who do you think are the funa room called The Bait Bucket in niest comics working right now?

GunBarrell, TX. A woman was exKK: I have to support the funny tremely drunk and wouldn’t shut the females in the business first because hell up. I made a few comments about they were the heroes that inspired her teeth (or lack thereof) and she me to try it in the first place. So, charged the stage. Two guys had to Wanda Sykes, Kathleen Madigan and restrain her and I had to be escorted Ellen are three that inspire me. Ron to my car. That was probably the only Shock is an amazing storyteller, Zach time I truly thought I would die beGalifianakis is hilarious and dry, Brian cause of my jokes.

Regan, Patton Oswalt, Jim GaffiThe best show I ever did was probgan—I could go on and on. I like comably the Last Comic Standing semiics that are outside the box. Silly. final set that got me into the Top 10.

TP: Are there ever people in the audience who change the It was the moment I had dreamed of. I got to walk out from tone or direction of a show? behind a curtain, grab the mic and look out to a packed audiKK: The audience can absolutely change the energy of a ence with TV cameras. And I didn’t stutter, fall down, or poop show. When you think about it, it’s really a socially awkward my pants. situation: a room full of strangers sitting close together in the TP: Does it ever get old? dark, staring at me. Typically, we form a bond, a trust, and the KK: I absolutely love being a comedian. It’s the greatest show becomes a fun memory. Every now and then, there’s high in the world. The happiest moments of my life have been the attention whore who wants to be the star of the show, or on stage. I love being in front of audiences, I love making peothe drunk who doesn’t know that they’re not helping, or the ple laugh, whether there are 10 people or 10,000, I get just chatty table who just doesn’t understand inside voices. When as excited every time. someone disrupts the show, the rest of the audience suffers more than I do. I can actually watch Kristin Key their body language change and sometimes they’ll $9 | 8 p.m. Thursday, September 29; Sunday, October 2 say worse stuff to the disruptive people than I do. $14 7:30, 10 p.m. Friday, September 30; Saturday, October 1 The majority of the audience just wants to sit back The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. and have a good time. So, when someone does (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com cause a problem, I have to ditch my material for a while and “deal” with them. They may be throwing

www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

23

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

THURSDAY

Buck

Documentary about the original “horse whisperer.” (part of AEC Independent Film Series) Check website for showtimes.

Majestic 12 Theaters, 311 Broad St. (423) 265-5220. www.carmike.com

Thursday

Rock City’s Enchanted Maize 9 a.m. 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd., Flintstone, GA. (706) 820-2531. www.enchantedmaze.com Buck (part of AEC Independent Film Series) Visit www.carmike.com for times.

Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2370.

Girls’ Night at the Hunter: The Art of Beverly Semmes 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org “Dances in Raw States” 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com UTC Orchestra 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music Kristin Key 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 39 | September 29, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

FRIDAY

Friday

Rock City’s Enchanted Maize 9 a.m. 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd., Flintstone, GA. (706) 820-2531. www.enchantedmaze.com Fresh on Fridays Marketplace 11 a.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

Brighton Rock Visit www.carmike.com for times.

Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2370.

RiverRocks Festival 5:30 p.m. Various locations in and around Chattanooga. www.riverrockschattanooga.com Southside Art Stroll 5 p.m. Various locations along Main St. (423) 475-5533. facebook.com/SouthsideArtStroll 3 Sisters Music Festival 6 p.m. Ross’s Landing, Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 265-0771. www.3SistersBluegrass.com “Sense of Wonder” Art Show 6 p.m. Southside Salon, 1265 Market St. Rebecca St. James 7 p.m. Abba’s House, 5208 Hixson Pke. (423) 877-6462.

“Dances in Raw States” 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Tornado Alley 3D 7, 9 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Mystery of Flight 138 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Frankenstein 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Picnic 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4269.

Duck Hunter Shoots Angel 7:30 p.m. Tennessee Valley Theatre, 184 W. Jackson Ave., Spring City.

(423) 365-7529.

Kristin Key 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Stand Up Comedy! Spanky Brown 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Cabaret, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Saturday

RiverRocks Festival 7 a.m. Various locations in and around Chattanooga. www.riverrockschattanooga.com TN Valley Start! Heart Walk 9 a.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423)763-4408.

Ronald McDonald House Charities Autumn Children’s Festival 10 a.m. Tennessee Riverpark, Amnicola Hwy. (423) 778-4140. www.rmhchattanooga.com Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.

Rock City’s Enchanted Maize 10:30 a.m. 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd., Flintstone. (706) 820-2531. www.enchantedmaze.com Brighton Rock (part of AEC Independent Film Series) Visit www.carmike.com for times.

Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2370.

11th Annual Chattanooga Dances!

Ballet Tennessee, Verve, Chattanooga Ballet, Project Motion, Chatt State Dance Dept., Terpichord all on stage. $5 7 p.m.

Center for Creative Arts Auditorium, 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5942. centerforcreativearts.net Rocktober Fest Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mtn. (800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com 3 Sisters Music Festival Noon. Ross Landing, Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 265-0771. www.3SistersBluegrass.com Art till Dark Noon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.com Frankenstein 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Pig Roast 4 p.m. Crabtree Farms, 1000 East 30th St. (423) 493-9155. www.crabtreefarms.org Wine Over Water 5 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 265-2825. www.wineoverwater.org Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

SATURDAY

Picnic

The William Inge classic presented by UTC drama department. $12-$15 7:30 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4269. www.utc.edu Chattanooga Mocs vs. The Citadel 6 p.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. Tornado Alley 3D 7, 9 p.m. IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org Duck Hunter Shoots Angel 7:30 p.m. Tennessee Valley Theatre, 184 W. Jackson Ave., Spring City.

(423) 365-7529.

Picnic 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4269.

2011 Banana Ball 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 North Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1339. www.chattzoo.org Kristin Key 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Billy Currington 8 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com

SUNDAY

Stand Up Comedy! Spanky Brown 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Cabaret, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday

RiverRocks Festival 7 a.m. Various locations in and around Chattanooga. www.riverrockschattanooga.com CultureFest at the Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket.com Brighton Rock (part of AEC Independent Film Series) Visit www.carmike.com for times.

Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2370.

First Free Sunday Noon. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Rocktober Fest Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mtn. (800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com Rock City’s Enchanted Maize Noon. 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd., Flintstone, GA. (706) 820-2531.

Ronald McDonald House Charities Autumn Children’s Festival 1 p.m. Tennessee Riverpark, Amnicola Hwy. (423) 778-4140.

Duck Hunter Shoots Angel 2 p.m. Tennessee Valley Theatre, 184 W. Jackson Ave., Spring City.

(423) 365-7529.

Frankenstein 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534.

Kristin Key 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Movie Night 8 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Cafe, 501 Cherokee Blvd. ( 423) 752-5224.

Monday

RiverRocks Festival 9 a.m. Various locations in and around Chattanooga. www.riverrockschattanooga.com Brighton Rock (part of AEC Independent Film Series) Visit www.carmike.com for times.

Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2370.

Jordan Thomas Foundation Golf Classic 11 a.m. Chattanooga Golf and Country Club, 1511 Riverview Rd. (423) 622-9006. jtf.ndandp.com

Tuesday

RiverRocks Festival 9 a.m. Various locations in and around Chattanooga. www.riverrockschattanooga.com Siskin Hospital Golf Classic 11 a.m. Council Fire Golf Club, 100 Council Fire Dr. (423) 634-1208. www.siskinrehab.org Brighton Rock (part of AEC Independent Film Series) Visit www.carmike.com for times.

Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2370.

Teen Challenge Annual Golf Classic 11:30 a.m. Lookout Mountain Golf Club, 1730 Wood Nymph Trail, Lookout Mountain.

(423) 756-5558.

CultureFest

Always fun celebration of diversity here in the Noog.

Free 11 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter St www.culturefest.org Oktoberfest Beer Tasting and Dinner 5 p.m. Big River Grille, 222 Broad St. (423) 267-2739. www.bigrivergrille.com Songwriter’s Line-up 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.

Find them on Faceboojk.

Wednesday

RiverRocks Festival 7 a.m. Various locations in and around Chattanooga. www.riverrockschattanooga.com Brighton Rock (part of AEC Independent Film Series) Visit www.carmike.com for times.

Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2370.

Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com Picnic 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 425-4269. www.utc.edu/FineArtsCenter All You Can Eat Comedy Buffet: Jackie Kashian, April Richardson, Andy Wood 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

25

Dining Out In Chattanooga

A Great Cup of Coffee—And A Whole Lot More

By D.E. Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer • Photography by Josh Lang

European-style sodas, hot Having your expectachocolate drinks… the list tions exceeded is one of goes on and on. Each and the greatest experiences every item is made with a person can have. Few high-quality ingredients. things elicit a smile as Of particular surprise to quickly. If you’ve never me was seeing beer on been to Stone Cup, you tap, as well as in bottles! might anticipate that on With local and craft beers your first visit, you’d get a completing the packgood cup of coffee. What age, Stone Cup really is you’ll find is a great one, equipped to be the ideal and a whole lot more. meeting place morning, Firstly, Stone Cup has noon, or night. The beaubeen roasting their own tiful view of Coolidge Park coffee beans since 1998, combines with an atmoallowing them to heat sphere as comforting as each variety to the optia warm cup of your premum level of darkness, ferred brew. The walls can complementing its unique be opened (weather pertastes and aromas. Each mitting), and the space season brings different is filled with casual décor. beans from around the There may be no place world, and the staff sammore welcoming in the ple loads to find the high“The staff is extremely friendly and knowledgeable, greater downtown area. est quality options. Their and more than willing to help you pick the right Regulars are plentiful, expertise is widely recand most don’t even need ognized—they are among variety of coffee for the drink you want.” to order their drink before the nation’s leading spethe staff goes to work. The cialty roasters, selling in bulk to other businesses near and far who authentic European ingredients like Italian crowd is cross-generational and varied, a want to serve their clientele the best coffee prosciutto, as well as classic sandwiches like microcosm of the community that Stone Cup possible. the venerable BLT. All in all, as owner Jen- serves. It’s a fun place—twenty-somethings The staff is extremely friendly and knowl- nifer Stone put it, quite the “cross-section of meet friends, couples bring their dogs and each member of the staff I saw was sporting edgeable, and more than willing to help you café fare.” pick the right variety of coffee for the drink I enjoyed a Smoked Salmon Plate, fully as wide a smile as the customers.

“Coffee doesn’t have to be complicated,” you want. I enjoyed the Le Reve Espresso a meal, with an ‘everything’ bagel, lox, cuby itself, the promised chocolate and dark cumbers, tomatoes, capers, and, of course, General Manager Laura Hagemann confruity notes coming through clearly. cream cheese. Jennifer recommended a fided. “We’re a neighborhood spot, and we In addition to astounding coffee, Stone London Fog as an accompaniment, a warm, want people to have fun when they’re here.”

Cup serves up a wonderful food menu. soothing mixture of Earl Grey tea, vanilla, They make that pretty easy to do. I haven’t Breakfast is served all day, featuring freshly and steamed milk. It was quite a meal. spoiled everything—stop in, and let Stone cooked eggs and house-made granola. From The saltiness of the lox and capers and the Cup surprise you, too. the bagel sandwiches to oatmeal served two sweetness of the London Fog played off of Stone Cup Coffee Bar, 330 Frazier Avenue. ways, you can get your first-meal fix when- each other perfectly, and had me alternating Monday to Thursday, 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friever you need it, and be assured of the qual- bites and sips with glee. ity you’ll receive. Four varieties of salads are The offerings don’t stop there. A multitude day and Saturday, 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sunavailable, compiled from Mediterranean fla- of smoothies are on offer, such as the Morn- day, 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. For more information, vors and fresh ingredients. They also have ing Glory, a peanut butter, oatmeal, and call (423) 265-5010 or like “Stone Cup” on several panini, made with baguettes and honey blend. So are several varieties of tea, Facebook.

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 39 | September 29, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Fear Factor

Behind the scenes at Blowing Screams Farm

UPDATED WEEKLY

HAUNTED HOUSES BAR & CLUB PARTIES PLUS: THE RETURN OF SHOCK THEATRE

with 2 massive, terrifying Haunts:

sponsored by

32 28

In Partnership with

PANIC! CHATTANOOGA'S CHATTANOOGA’S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE | September 29, 2011 | |www.chattanoogapulSe.com PANIC! ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE | SEPTEMBER 29, 2011 WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Fear factor WEB OF TERROR Matt Dutton points into the distance at an intricate system of passages used to terrorize victims.

Matt Dutton and his team crank up the fright at Rock City’s Blowing Screams Farm

S

ome scary shit is going down at Rock City’s Blowing Screams Farm.

Matt Dutton—the talented artist behind the iconic Chattanooga attraction’s creepyin-their-own-way gnomes—is the mastermind behind an entire landscape of terror at the Forest of Fear. “A haunting experience is not easily expressed through words, but through psychological events

of unbridled terror,” Dutton says.

Deliverance from evil, as the sign says, is highly unlikely.

The year had barely begun when Dutton and his team of “haunt technicians” began desiging props, sets, special effects and makeup at the farm, located at the foot of Lookout Mountain.

We sent intrepid Panic!

Halloween Correspondent Josh Lang to follow Dutton and his

creepy crew around the property before opening night. Lang returned with this report, these behind-the-scenes photos and some lightly soiled underwear.

Don’t worry, Josh. We won’t tell your mommy.

ON THE COVER: Daniel Wroe, Matt Dutton, John McLeod and Matt Nooga ratchet up the fear at Rock City’s Forest of Fear at Blowing Screams Farm. Photo by Josh Lang • The Pulse

www.chattanoogapulse.com | september 2011 | panic! cHaTTanOOGa’S ULTiMaTE HaLLOwEEnGUIDE GUidE WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM | SEPTEMBER 29,29, 2011 | PANIC! CHATTANOOGA'S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN

33 29

An An innocent innocent body body lays lays mangled mangled and and rotting, rotting, all all specialties specialties of of Dutton Dutton and and his his creative creative team team of of haunt haunt technicians. technicians.

Left: Left: Several Several ominous ominous hallways hallways wait wait in in store store for for customers customers of of Forest Forest of of Fears, Fears, none none of of which which will will be be pleasant pleasant to to the the psyche. psyche. Right: Right: “The “The majority majority of of props props are are hand hand crafted crafted and and original original pieces pieces of of art,” art,” Dutton Dutton says. says. There There will will be be several several “elements “elements of of surprise.” surprise.”

Haunt Haunt Technicians Technicians Matt Matt Nooga, Nooga, Matt Matt Dutton Dutton and and Daniel Daniel Wroe Wroe survey survey the the Forest Forest of of Fear.

Fear.

34 34 30

PANIC! ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE || September 29, || www.chattanoogapulSe.com PANIC! CHATTANOOGA’S CHATTANOOGA’S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE September 29, 2011 2011 PANIC! CHATTANOOGA'S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE | SEPTEMBER 29, 2011 |www.chattanoogapulSe.com WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

In its its final final moments, moments, the the cornfield cornfield In siphons you you into into aa pressurized pressurized siphons nightmare, Dutton Dutton says. says. “A “A haunting haunting nightmare, experience is is not not easily easily expressed expressed experience through words, words, but but through through psychopsychothrough logical events events of of unbridled unbridled terror.” terror.” logical

Matt Dutton, Dutton, right, right, Matt and John John McLeod McLeod and make final final prepaprepamake rations in in the the rations cornfield. While While cornfield. he didn’t didn’t disclose disclose he much information information much regarding the the new new regarding thrills to to expect, expect, thrills Dutton did did referreferDutton ence the the movie movie ence “Deliverance.”

“Deliverance.”

www.chattanoogapulse.com september 29, 2011 panic! cHaTTanOOGa’S ULTiMaTE HaLLOwEEnGUIDE GUidE www.chattanoogapulse.com || september 2011 || panic! cHaTTanOOGa’S ULTiMaTE HaLLOwEEn GUidE WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM | SEPTEMBER 29,29, 2011 | PANIC! CHATTANOOGA'S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN

35 35 31

HAUNTED HOUSES & EVENTS Acres of DArkness HAunteD trAil† ‡

pAnic! listings

Chattanooga Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Road features: Bonfire, ghost stories, face-painting, glow-in-thedark maze, food and drinks.

Hours/Dates: 7-11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October. tickets: $15 Web: chattanoogaaudubon.org

BloWing screAms fArm

271 Chattanooga Valley Road Flintstone, Ga. features: Ghost Ride and the Forest of Fear, the world’s only outdoor 3-D haunted house.

Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. every Friday and Saturday night in October. tickets: $15 (Forest of Fear); $15 (Ghost Ride); $25 for both.

Web: blowingscreamsfarm. com

DreAmnigHt: Boo in tHe Zoo! ‡

301 North Holtzclaw Ave. features: VIP Halloween Zoo visit for families and caretakers of special-needs children whose unique circumstances might generally limit or prohibit relaxing outings during normal zoo hours.

Hours/Dates: 5:30-8:30 p.m.

Thursday, Oct. 27 tickets: Free with reservations Web: chattzoo.org

encHAnteD mAiZe ‡

271 Chattanooga Valley Road Flintstone, Ga. features: “Another Y-Ear of Corny Fun.” Hours/Dates: Thursdays-Sundays through Oct. 30. tickets: $9 adults, $7 children

honest music

pAnic AttAck! tHis WeekenD: “DArk nigHt of tHe scArecroW”

The Pulse’s Panic Halloween Guide will appear each week through Halloween (Oct. 6, 13 and 20). Listings are updated weekly. If you operate a haunted house or event and would be like to be listed, or your listed event changes, submit information as formatted here and email to creative@ chattanoogapulse.com. key: † New ‡ Family friendly Web: enchantedmaze.com

HAlloWeen eerie express ‡

Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum 4119 Cromwell Road features: Train ride, storytelling, indoor blacklight mini-golf, temporary tattoos, cider and a walk through the Fun House.

Hours/Dates: Fridays and Saturdays Oct. 14-20; trains depart at 5:45 and 7:45 p.m. tickets: $22 ages 2 and up Web: tvrail.com

tHe HAunteD BArn

5107 McDonald Road McDonald features: Bonfire, graveyard and concessions.

Hours/Dates: 7:30 p.m. to midnight, Fridays and Saturdays in October. tickets: $15 Web: hauntedbarnchattanooga.com

HAunteD cAvern ruBy fAlls

1720 South Scenic Hwy. features: Adult event with

local and regional shows

Rev Marco and the Gypsy Three with Amber Fults

Thu, Sept 29

9 pm

The Fells

Sun, Oct 2

7 pm

Joe Fletcher and the Wrong Reasons with Uptown Lowmen

Wed, Oct 5

9 pm

creepy dude at rock city’s Blowing screams farm. blood, violence and gore. Not recommended for children ages 10 and under.

Hours/Dates: 8 p.m. Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays in October, (including Oct. 31). tickets: $20 online; $22 at the door; $17 Sundays Web: hauntedcavern.com

HAunteD Hilltop

House of Horrors

140 Edwards St. NE Cleveland Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. to midnight, Sept. 30, Fridays and Saturdays in October and Oct. 31. tickets: $10 Web: wewillscareyou.com

lAke WinnepAspookAH

8235 Hwy. 58 Harrison features: Cornfield, bonfires, concession stand, music, souvenirs, graveyards and more.

Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. to 1 a.m.

Fridays and Saturdays in October, (including Oct. 30 and 31). tickets: $18 for the Haunted House, Haunted Maze and Haunted Hayride. Free parking.

Web: thehauntedhilltop.com

1730 Lakeview Dr. Rossville features: Gate admission includes unlimited rides and all special Halloween attractions.

Hours/Dates: 6-11 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October. tickets: $24 Web: lakewinnie.com

monster BArn

4431 Shackleford Ridge Road Signal Mountain Hours/Dates: 8-10:30 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays in October.

tickets: $10; $5 Haunted Hayride Web: monsterbarnfun.com

mystery Dog rAncH

975 Wooten Road Ringgold Hours/Dates: 7 p.m. Oct. 14-15, 21-22 and 28-29 tickets: $10 Web: mysterydoghauntedranchandhayride.net

sir gooney’s HAunteD cArnivAl

5918 East Brainerd Road features: Castle Nightmare, a two-story super haunt.

Hours/Dates: Doors open at 7 p.m. every weekend in October through Halloween. tickets: $20 Web: sirgooneys.com

What 35 Patten Parkway was meant to be.

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

12th Annual All Hallows Eve Bash - Sat, Oct 29 Dead Confederate and The Bohannons Tickets available Sept. 30

36 32

Collective Warehouse 4015 Tennessee Ave. Join Mise En Scenesters and Ballyoo Motion Pictures to celebrate the 30th anniversary of a true cult classic, “Dark Night of the Scarecrow.”

Hours/Dates: 8:30 p.m. Saturday, Oct. 1 and 1:30 a.m.

Sunday, Oct. 2 tickets: $5 Web: facebook.com/ collectiveclothing

PANIC! CHATTANOOGA’S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE | September 29, 2011 | |www.chattanoogapulSe.com PANIC! CHATTANOOGA'S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE | SEPTEMBER 29, 2011 WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

BARS & CLUBS

Dead Confederate at the honest pint on oct. 29.

the honest pint

35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com • saturday, oct. 29 12th Annual All hallows eve Bash featuring Dead Confederate with the Bohannons. Tickets on sale Sept. 30.

• Monday, oct. 31 halloween Variety show featuring the shock theater orchestra, odist, opposite Box, subterranean Cirqus.

Magic from Scott Fillers and horror movies.

pAniC ALeRt!

The Pulse’s Panic Halloween Guide will appear each week through Halloween (Oct. 6, 13 and 20). Listings are updated weekly. If you operate a bar or club and are hosting a Halloween-specific event, or your listed event changes, submit information as formatted here and email to creative@ chattanoogapulse. com.

JJ’s BoheMiA

231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 reverbnation.com/ venue/jjsbohemia • Friday, oct. 28 The KissFits and “Rocky Horror PictureShow” • Monday, oct. 31 the Unsatisfied

tRACK 29

Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co The Nim Nims, Glowing Bordis and Tone Harm all playing separate sets and converging together on stage for a

full-album cover of the Beastie Boy’s “Ill Communication.” Tickets on sale Friday, Sept. 23 for $10 . 21+ show.

1/2 V SPOOKY TOWN RICK

• saturday, oct. 29 9-9:45 p.m. the nim nims; 10-10:45 p.m.

Glowing Bordis; 1111:10 p.m. Costume Contest 11:15 p.m.-Midnight ill Communicators 12:15 a.m.-1 a.m. tone harm

the nim nims (above), Glowing Bordis and tone harm join forces to form the ill Communicators to perform a full-album cover of the Beastie Boys’ “ill Communication” (inset) at track 29 on oct. 29. www.chattanoogapulse.com | september 29, 2011 | panic! cHaTTanOOGa’S ULTiMaTE HaLLOwEEn GUidE WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM | SEPTEMBER 29, 2011 | PANIC! CHATTANOOGA'S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE

37 33

shock theatre returns

We We will will meet meet or or beat beat any any advertised advertised price price in in Chattanooga!

Chattanooga!

the Doctor is in

I

t’s t’s been been more more than than 30 30 years years since since “Shock “Shock Theatre” Theatre” ruled ruled the the late-night airwaves on Chattanooga television.

When late-night airwaves on Chattanooga television. When the the original original Dr. Dr. Shock, Shock, former former WTVC WTVC Channel Channel 9 9 program program director director Tommy Tommy Reynolds, Reynolds, died died in in 2008, 2008, it it appeared appeared the the iconic iconic character character died with him.

Fortunately, local musician died with him. Fortunately, local musician Jack Jack Gray Gray was was unceremoniously unceremoniously embodied embodied with with the the spirit spirit of of Shock Shock and and the the good good doctor doctor rose rose again, again, along along with with his his faithful, faithful, irreverent irreverent sidekick sidekick Dingbat Dingbat and the devastatingly hot Nurse Goodbody (Constance and the devastatingly hot Nurse Goodbody (Constance Haynes).

Haynes).

In In the the year year since since the the new new Shock Shock and and Co. Co. made made their their debut, debut, much much has transpired, but we’ll save that for our issue of Oct. has transpired, but we’ll save that for our issue of Oct. 27, 27, when when we we profile profile the the reincarnation reincarnation of of Dr. Dr. Shock.

Shock. Meanwhile, Meanwhile, don’t don’t miss miss your your opportunity opportunity to to meet meet the the terrifying terrifying trio trio around around town town at at these these events: events:

Where Where the the Liquor Liquor is is Cheap Cheap & & the the Entertainment Entertainment is is Free Free

Oct. Oct. 1 1 •• Shock Shock Theatre Theatre unleashes unleashes its its Kickstarter Kickstarter campaign campaign at at www. www. kickstarter.com, kickstarter.com, the the largest largest funding funding platform platform for for creative creative projects projects in in the the world. world. Shock Shock Theatre Theatre is is asking asking fans fans across across the the Tennessee Tennessee Valley Valley to to “Ghoul “Ghoul Up” Up” and and become become a a sponsor sponsor to to help help fund fund production production of of an an entire entire season. season.

Their Their motto? motto? “Shock “Shock Theatre—The Theatre—The Monster Monster Being Being Created Created By

By You!” You!”

Oct. Oct. 22 22 •• Zombie Zombie Walk Walk ChattaChattanooga. nooga. Shock Shock Theatre Theatre has has a a soft soft spot spot for for zombies zombies and and invites invites all all the the undead undead to to meet meet at at Coolidge Coolidge Park Park for for a a walk walk across across the the Walnut Walnut Street Street Bridge Bridge and and back. back. Check Check the the Shock Shock Facebook Facebook page page at at www.facebook. www.facebook. com/drshocktheatre com/drshocktheatre for for more more information. information.

Crew Crew will will be be on on hand hand to to greet greet visivisitors tors to to Ruby Ruby Falls’ Falls’ Haunted Haunted Cavern Cavern at at 7 7 p.m. p.m. Doc Doc Shock, Shock, Nurse Nurse GoodGoodbody body and and Dingbat Dingbat will will be be stationed stationed at at the the main main gate gate to to greet greet cavecavedwellers dwellers with with a a smile smile and and a a haunt! haunt!

Oct. Oct. 28 28 •• Shock Shock and and Co. Co. rise rise again again from from 7 7 to to 11 11 p.m. p.m. at at the the Monster Monster Barn Barn on on Signal Signal Mountain.

Mountain.

Oct. Oct. 31 31 •• Shocktoberfest Shocktoberfest wraps wraps up up with with a a live live performance performance by by the the Shock Shock Theatre Theatre Orchestra— Orchestra— Doc Doc Shock’s Shock’s shockingly shockingly talented talented band—from band—from 8 8 p.m. p.m. to to 2 2 a.m. a.m. at at The The Honest Honest Pint, Pint, 35 35 Patten Patten Pkwy.

Pkwy. The The show show features features three three films films (“I (“I Drink Drink Your Your Blood,” Blood,” “Zombie,” “Zombie,” and and “Plan “Plan 9 9 From From Outer Outer Space”), Space”), the the magic magic of of Scott Scott Fillers Fillers along along with with three three acts: acts: Subterranean Subterranean Cirqus, Cirqus, Odist Odist and and OpOpposite posite Box. Box. Nurse Nurse Goodbody Goodbody hosts hosts a a costume costume contest contest at at midnight midnight with with a a $100 $100 grand grand prize. prize.

Oct. Oct. 21-22 21-22 •• The The Shock Shock Theatre Theatre

P P HOTO HOTO BY

BY L LE E SHA SHA PAT PAT T T ER ER S S ON ON •• TH TH E E PUL PUL S SE E

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PANIC! ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE | 29, | PANIC! CHATTANOOGA’S CHATTANOOGA’S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE | September September 29, 2011 2011 | |www.chattanoogapulSe.com www.chattanoogapulSe.com PANIC! CHATTANOOGA'S ULTIMATE HALLOWEEN GUIDE | SEPTEMBER 29, 2011 WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

— — Bill Bill Ramsey Ramsey

Sept / October / Nov 2011 Sun

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ENTERTAINMENT

| Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’ve got a challenging assignment for you. In accordance with your current astrological omens, I am inviting you to cultivate a special kind of receptivity—a rigorously innocent openness to experience that will allow you to be penetrated by life’s beauty with sublime intensity. To understand the exact nature of this receptivity, study Abraham Maslow’s definition of real listening: to listen “without presupposing, classifying, improving, controverting, evaluating, approving or disapproving, without dueling what is being said, without rehearsing the rebuttal in advance, without free-associating to portions of what is being said so that succeeding portions are not heard at all.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Government officials in Southern Sudan are proposing to build cities in fantastic shapes. They say that the regional capital of Juba would be recreated to resemble a rhinoceros, as seen from the air. The town of Yambio is destined to look like a pineapple and the city of Wau will be a giraffe. I’m confused by all this, since I know that most of the people in South Sudan live on less than a dollar a day. Is that really how they want their country’s wealth spent? Please consider the possibility, Taurus, that there are also some misplaced priorities in your own sphere right now. Hopefully they’re nothing on the scale of what’s happening in South Sudan, but still: Allocate your resources with high discernment, please.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You have cosmic clearance to fall deeply, madly, and frequently in love, Gemini. In fact, it’s OK with the gods of fate and the angels of karma if you swell up with a flood of infatuation and longing big enough to engorge an entire city block. The only stipulation those gods and angels insist on is that you do not make any rash decisions or huge life changes while in the throes of this stupendous vortex. Don’t quit your job, for instance, or sell all your belongings, or dump your temporarily out-of-favor friends and loved ones. For the foreseeable future, simply enjoy being enthralled by the lush sexy glory of the liquid blue fire.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Among the surprises spilled

by WikiLeaks some months back was the revelation that U.S. diplomats think Canadians feel “condemned to always play ‘Robin’ to the U.S. ‘Batman.’” If that’s true, it shouldn’t be. While Canada may not be able to rival the war-mongering, plutocrat-coddling, environment-despoiling talents of my home country America, it is a more reliable source of reason, compassion, and civility. Are you suffering from a similar disjunction, Cancerian? Do you imagine yourself “Robin” in relationship to some overweening “Batman”?

This would be an excellent time to free yourself of that dynamic.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Enigmatology” is an infrequently-used word that means the study of puzzles and how to solve them. I’m invoking it now to highlight the fact that you need to call on some unusual and idiosyncratic and possibly even farfetched resources as you intensify your efforts to solve the puzzles that are spread out before you.

The help you’ve called on in the past just won’t be enough for this new round of gamesmanship. The theories and beliefs and strategies that have brought you this far can’t take you to the next stage.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This would not be a good time for you to read the book called The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Enhancing Self-Esteem. In fact, it will never be the right time to read it. While it’s true that at this juncture in your life story you can make exceptional progress in boosting your confidence and feeling positive about yourself, you’re not an idiot and you don’t need idiot-level assistance. If there was a book called The Impish Guide to Accessing and Expressing Your Idiosyncratic Genius, I’d definitely recommend it. Likewise a book titled The Wild-Eyed Guide to Activating Your Half-Dormant Potential or The Brilliant LifeLover’s Guide to Becoming a Brilliant Life-Lover.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “When I was born,” said comedian Gracie Allen, “I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” I suspect you will soon be experiencing a metaphorical rebirth that has some of the power of the event she was referring to. And so I won’t be shocked if you find it challenging to formulate an articulate response, at least in the short term. In fact, it may take you a while to even register, let alone express, the full impact of the upgrade you will be blessed with.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “During a game of Apocalypse against the Witchhunters,” reports Andrew_88 in an online forum, “I authorized my Chaos Lord to throw his vortex grenade at the oncoming Cannoness and her bodyguard. Safe to say he fluffed it and the vortex grenade scattered back on top of him. Then he proceeded to take out my allies, the Havocs, Land Raider, and Baneblade, before disappearing, having done no damage to my opponent.” I suggest you regard this as a helpful lesson to guide your own actions in the coming days, Scorpio. Do not, under any circumstances, unleash your Chaos Lord or let him throw his vortex grenade at anyone. He could damage your own interests more than those of your adversaries.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it’s high time for you to receive a flood of presents, compliments, rewards, and blessings. You got a problem with that? I hope not. I hope you are at peace with the fact that you deserve more than your usual share of recognition, appreciation, flirtations, and shortcuts. Please, Sagittarius? Please don’t let your chronic struggles or your cynical views of the state of the world blind you to the sudden, massive influx of luck. Pretty please open your tough heart and skeptical mind to the bounty that the universe is aching to send your way.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I like how astrologer Hunter Reynolds encapsulates the Capricornian imperative. If you “can manage your ego’s erratic moods and uneven motivations well enough to offer a service with consistent quality,” he says, “the world confers social recognition and its accompanying material advantages on you.” The members of other signs may appear warmer and fuzzier than you, but only because you express your care for people through a “strictness of focus,” “disciplined work,” and by being a “dependable helpmate.” This describes you at your best, of course; it’s not easy to meet such high standards. But here’s the good news: The omens suggest you now have an excellent opportunity to function at your very best.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Not being omniscient is a really big drag for me,” says poet Charles Harper Webb.

I sympathize with him. My life would be so much easier and my power would be so much more graceful if only I knew everything there is to know. That’s why I’m going to be a little jealous of you in the coming weeks, Aquarius.

You may not be supremely authoritative about every single subject, but you will have access to far more intuitive wisdom than usual, and you’ll be making extra good use of the analytical understandings you have. Bonus: You will also be absorbing new lessons at an elevated rate.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): John Tyler was President of the United States from 1841 to 1845. Believe it or not, two of his grandsons are still alive today. They’re Lyon Gardiner Tyler and Harrison Ruffin Tyler, born late in the life of their father, who was born late in John Tyler’s life. I invite you to find some equally amazing connection you have to the past, Pisces. How is your destiny linked to the long ago and faraway? I suspect you might find that distant history will be more vital and important than usual in the coming weeks.

ENTERTAINMENT

| Jonesin' Crossword — "Corning The Market" Across 1 See 1-down 7 ___global.net 10 With 13-down, it’s placed in the upper right corner of an envelope 14 Further from A-quality work 15 Sine ___ non 16 Elbow-wrist connection 17 Weather phenomenon with a Spanish name 18 Cartoon superhero dressed in red, white and blue 20 Yale grads 21 ___ Bator, Mongolia 23 Academy newbie 24 Camcorder button 25 Distinct groups of species populations 27 Uneasy (with tension) 29 “What did I tell you?”

30 Denali or Whitney, e.g.

33 Concept embodying yin and yang 34 Camping bottle 36 Kidded around 39 Alexander who claimed he was “in charge” after Reagan was shot 40 Arctic reindeer herder

41 Prefix like “ultra” 42 It may be consolidated 43 In a fog 44 Woman-hating 46 ___ artist (swindler) 47 Winter hrs. in San Francisco 48 Color to stop on 49 Tranquilizer shooter 53 Place for chalk drawings 55 Inseparable 56 Abou Ben ___ (James Henry Leigh Hunt poem subject) 59 “___ Tuesday” 60 Nimrod 61 Aviation almost-accident 63 Chinese gambling game with dominoes 65 Fail to include 66 Icelandic band Sigur ___ 67 Gas station name 68 With 56-down, state that makes up the lower left corner of the Four Corners Monument 69 Some amount 70 See 52-down Down 1 With 1-across, space that occupies the upper left

corner of a Monopoly board 2 ___ derby 3 Japanese camera company until 2003 4 Where eye color comes from 5 Former Giants pitcher Robb 6 Marx who novelty glasses are modeled on 7 Zilch 8 Costume seen around Easter 9 Knave 10 Knitting stitches 11 Ye ___ Gift Shoppe 12 Holier-than-thou type 13 See 10-across 19 Fencing swords 22 Auction section 25 Posh word of surprise 26 Simon of “Shaun of the Dead” 28 “In ___” (Nirvana album) 30 “The Beauty in Ugly” singer Jason 31 CD predecessor 32 Dennis Franz’s former TV employer 34 Who nobody puts in the corner, according to a line

from “Dirty Dancing” 35 Actor hiding in the audience, perhaps 36 Hit for The Pointer Sisters, Van Halen or Kris Kross 37 Wading bird sacred to Egyptians 38 Sleeveless garment 39 Florence who played Carol Brady 42 Turned blue, maybe 43 Uncool dude 45 Big name in fairy tales 46 Caribbean music 49 Do some fingerpainting 50 1 followed by 100 zeroes 51 Get the right combination to 52 With 70-across, it’s often seen in the bottom right corner of a TV screen 53 Sealy competitor 54 Not at all manly 56 See 68-across 57 Ashton’s wife 58 Brushed stuff 60 Fred’s pet 62 401(k) alternative 64 Mo. with no major holidays

Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0539

www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

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OPINION

| Life In The ‘Noog

In Which We Ask: Are We Them?

L

ast week, a rumbling occurred within the music industry that many mistakenly thought had already happened 10 or 15 years ago: R.E.M. broke up (officially). While some thought they had, or should have, back in 1997 when Bill Berry decided he’d rather raise hay than Hell, the remaining, crippled, threepiece limped through another 15 forgettable years until maybe someone didn’t notice Michael Stipe on 5th Avenue or something.

Despite their slow decent down the drain of pop culture, however, for people my age R.E.M. represented a peaceful revolution of sensible, truly lovable Americana music.

Much like the onslaught of ’70s punk from New York or Seattle’s grunge scene in the ’90s, anything truly “alternative” in the ’80s likely hailed from either Minneapolis or the tiny burg of Athens, Georgia.

About the time Georgia Bulldog Herschel Walker was setting his sights on Heisman Trophy fame, bands like Pylon, Flat Duo Jets, Love Tractor and R.E.M. were moving beyond Athens’ legendary stages and onto the national landscape. Inspired by local predecessors the B-52’s, R.E.M. would not only become the group Rolling Stone called “America’s Best Band,” but would negotiate the Holy Grail of contracts with Warner Brothers Records—including one of the largest guaranteed monetary deals ever given a band AND complete creative control.

The very words “guaranteed millions” and “complete creative control” gave hope to every band stinking up an Econoline van at the time. In fact, I think it’s safe to say there wasn’t a band around back then that didn’t count R.E.M. as an influence—even if reluctantly. That’s because, whether you liked their music or not, they were a band’s band. They unapologetically wrote and played the songs they wanted to play without regard to

popularity or reputation.

They truly maintained a personal bond with their growing fan base. But most importantly, they actually LIKED each other.

They were a brotherhood of equals, rather than backing musicians to an alpha songwriter. The tunes weren’t all “written” by “Lennon/McCartney” or “Jagger/Richards.” Every song was credited to all four members, “Berry, Buck, Mills, Stipe”, although arranged in varying order depending on each member’s contribution to that particular song.

While their music didn’t exactly explore any uncharted musical frontiers, it certainly had a sound and feeling all its own. R.E.M.’s often mislabeled “jangle pop” style of music incorporated Rickenbacker guitars, pianos, strings, banjos, mandolins, off-key harmonies, lyrics peppered with Southernisms and obscure-to-most-but-not-soobscure cultural references, yelps, hoots, hollers—and did I mention off-key harmonies? Regardless, you couldn’t help but love R.E.M. R.E.M. was the band you were always pulling for, even if that meant knowing pre-teens everywhere might allof-a-sudden know every word to “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” “Losing My Religion” or “Man On The Moon.” They were determined to take on pop culture, and no matter how cheesy a mark they might leave, you would still smile and remember the days you saw them play a small club to 500 people.

Lucky for music fans like me, Athens was just two short hours’ drive from the ‘noog. That proximity, along with equally easy access to Atlanta and Nashville, made for a certain cool factor to growing up in the South

Chuck Crowder

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 39 | September 29, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

during the’80s. It wasn’t any big deal to rub shoulders with Peter Buck or Mike Mills as they watched Dexter Romweber and Crow of Flat Duo Jets practically invent Jack White’s whole million-dollar act to come two decades later. Actually, to this day I’ve very rarely been to Athens without seeing a member of R.E.M. walking around.

No one ever bothered them, and ironically few bothered to speak freely about being a “fan” of R.E.M. Saying you really enjoyed their music was about as trendsetting as popping the collar of a Member’s Only jacket. It was one of those guilty pleasures you likely cranked up in an open-windowed car—but then sheepishly turned down when “ I think it’s stopping at a red light. It was like suddenly wearing a safe to say cardigan sweater after seeing there wasn’t a Nirvana’s first music video.

You weren’t fooling anyone band around with the whole “it’s chilly back then that outside” thing. didn’t count Twenty-five years later, it’s finally cool for my age R.E.M. as an group to admit that R.E.M. influence—even was the Bee Gees of our life’s Saturday Night Fever if reluctantly. ” soundtrack. Yea, Murmur was on the stereo when I first did a keg stand. We were jamming to Reckoning when my girlfriend and I made out in a restroom stall (no pun). And yes, I saw them live back on the Life’s Rich Pageant tour. But I still won’t admit liking “Stand” or “Shiny Happy People” (although I know all of the words). Seriously, good luck, guys—we appreciate the music.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | September 29, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 39 | The Pulse

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