Morningmuses

Morning Muses

By Brian Drayton

As your mind spirals 4 Awake. 5 Breeders of greed 6 Brown Skin 10/03 9 Bumpin 3/28 10 Cabin Fever 13 The calling 14 A checklist built on fear! 15 Cool droplets collecting in the hollows 17 Crazy 19 RESIPE FOR MY CRUSH! 21 Cry 23

Deep blue 24 Don't know what to say 25 Drift 28 Drowning in my tears 30 eyes 31 Fuck! 34 Full Moon 35 Gather 36 Graphing the connections 38 Deep blue 41 Thinking Back 42 If you where my best friend… 45 If I asked you to be mine... 46 If I could travel back in time 48 If you look around… 50 Illusive sweet 51 Tuck 52 Maximum Joy, Minimum Drama! 53 reflections! 55 Ohhh! The Moon 56 Heads bowed down 57 Oral Oration 59 Processity 60 From Another fridge~23 Jan1996. 61 Sheltered 62 Surrender 64 That First Kiss! 65 The truth about our relationship.. 66 What IF??? 67 Words 69 You are my drug, you are my food! 70 Spiral 71

As your mind spirals As your mind spirals in a haze of thoughts a light appears like a beacon on the

lighthouse of clarity.

You squint Your brain wringing out the thoughts you deem as present. filtering out the spent memories of the past and the crystallized hopes of the future.

Separating the mash and hops from the elixir that you drink as your reality.

This passion fruit drink is the fuel for you creativity that brings you closer to you r source of divine inspiration.

Pick up the pen and let the mood flow from your fingers through the tactile ball covered in ink flowing on the head of the pin like molasses from a hypodermic.

Trickling down your spine like a waterfall of thoughts flooding over a cliff.

The words curl from the corners of your mouth like blood curdling in water, like smoke in a breezeless room.

Bending at their own friction with their multiple meanings as they flow through the temperate layers of the human consciousness.

Below_____ there's a pool of warm water bubbling from a hot spring with cool mist from the water fall of thought running from your lips into the canyon that is your mind. along the shore is mint growing over ...

Awake. slumber time horizons dreaming of my pillow dimpled with the memory of your head the morning mist still lifts inches above the ground as the bantam hen lies asleep in the hutch rooster nodding catching another wink before pecking at the spider web draped across his perch slumber time horizons of silence, cars shut down with vague notions of heat under the hood shown as a silhouette of dew on the hood and roof of the car collecting the moisture from the fog of yesterday slumber time awakening thinking hearing and being lulled by the worlds turning to the beat of life the sound of the shift workers shoes beating the sidewalk on the morning commute, the traffic copter pilot rushing to get up in the sky as it lightens and changes hues.

Slumber time muses drifting train tones coming form the horizon whistle siren horn forlorn drawing closer by the minute it starts soft and muffled and becomes more pronounced as the rumble is felt through the stillness of the morning. this one is the one. the beat trans posed. enunciated with the clap of the consonant at the end of a beautifully pronounced wake up song as syllabic and distinct as the feeling of being adored in sleep by ones lover. received with a smile and affectionate brush of delicate feathery touch across my brow telling me to rest a moment longer. slumber time illumination lifting the chill the clouds define their destinations over the hills to lure the sun up into the heavens. the molten colors transform midnight to twilight and surprise us with the unveiling of the conflict between the coldness of space that delvers the life force of our souls.

I am wake now as I hear you leave singing your song , tones dropping in total Doppler effect. My muse much like a lover’s voice, or humpback song passing the gate.the sound of the traffic copter and free way blend in like the e sound of ocean waves. obscuring the tenderness to witch I awake.

You whisper in my ear. I love you! and I Smile and Awake.

BD Fri, Dec 2, 2005 3:38 AM

Breeders of greed Breeders of greed It seems that the competition to evolve Has begun to dissolve As people compete to fine the fittest mate And forget what’s at steak.

We choose with our ego and eye The one that’s most fly Who has the most flash Representing this thing called cash.

We compete in a market straight from our pocket With ideas of being set .

Losing our gene pool at a bet We put cash down On ass found

And lay down In silence profound Being content with the paper The caper to get richer by chasing a sister that looks like million bucks On MTV ABC CNN HBO Do you hear my flow ?

Sisters look for the flash A car and some cash Like his principals are imbedded the dash It’s just hit teeth in the dash After a crash To show he’s mo fast Life torn and smashed Competing to not be last.

It used to be that seed Was sown out of need To evolve and to grow And ensure strength so We sparred and we fought , Primped our feathers and grew antlers Flashed genetic colors that said we are royalty And backed off at the penalty.

Animals all over the world compete For the prize mate The perfect date The top rate This is not about fate For in the battle of need We’ve become breeders of greed reproducing with our seeds I beg you to take heed It’s like money equals power on some level But genetically it’s not on the level.

You go for the cash And get just some ass And think that’ll pass But your just buying time , By the end of this rhyme I hope you’ll concede that We’ve been breeders of greed .

Courtship for cash Spreading like a rash Reducing cultural strength Values spread to a length That we can hardly see our ancestral struggle To be black and beautiful .

Behind the relaxer the gold Fake hair that shit is old.

The cars and the bling Albums by people who cant sing, Nigas with wads of one and fives that with a 20 or 50 they hide As to show that they can provide.

Their greed and disrespect is our genocide.

Females .. the nails Bumpin rails selling tail to get cash ass for sale taking flash blending foundation to make a face that there moma didn’t give them.

What do you look like anyway?

How can you see you pride If the real you hide Behind a cloak of creams relaxers hair nail and boob extensions Heels that make you vulnerable cause you can’t fuckin stand straight.

In the name of breeding for greed Men cultivate and re-create A false landscape Of physical dominance Falsified by enhancements.

Females consent To the ideas lent That they should not be strong, Resisting having muscle Wearing shoes that restrict mobility Close that hold back movement So that they can seem like they need a "strong man".

Pumped up on horse steroids To present a façade Of Herculean strength But cause the man to be an angry confused fighter ,

Rather than a loving father To the kids that they breed While breeding the greed Planting there seed Out of need Trying to be freed Of the bondage unseen Programmed in us By the paper making slave drivers murderous genocidal capitalistic hedonistic emotionally and culturally devoid rapist thieves slave ship sailing flag waving war starting capitalist assholes that profit from greed, most powerfully and pass it down as an heirloom to their offspring to repeat the pattern of global control.

You don’t have to participate you know.

You can stop the power of the Greeding Breed.

Just stop smokin' their weed And eating their feed.

And gassing up yo iron steed And watchin' TV And followin' their lead And sellin' you seed Sendin' yo kids to fort mead Know when you’re being sold into greed Have a need to not be a breeder of greed.

Brown Skin 10/03 Warm and sweet like fertile earth, Beckoning me to lay down on the ground, I want to feel the texture again Of turned soil holding me to my roots.

Brown skin, Melanin absorbing the sun.

Glistening wit moisture as I swipe my for head, Pfweeew!

I can taste it!

Honey sweet, The color of molasses, Turning me on.

I can see it melding around my butterscotch waist, Pinning me down in a playful tussle.

I can feel it calling me home, reminding me of the richness of touch.

Brown skin goes down like a warm mango, Picked in the afternoon.

Aroma forcing me to taste what lies beneath the skin.

I devour this tender fruit, Juices running down my cheek.

You smile And say that I eat like a hungry man Well!

That, I am!

BD

Bumpin 3/28 Bumpin into you is so much fun!"

Traveling at different speeds drifting between different planes we bump into one another like molecules of matter sometimes heated and exited butting Helium-heads. other times suspended like molasses on a winter morning slow-mo neighbors noticing exquisite detail as the world whirrs by.

I keep noticing you not like a meteor or a shooting star just passing though , but like another celestial body heavenly , with line of sight and a sweet elliptical orbit . we do bump into each other once and again, then once again . then seeming like it might not happen we find ourselves on a near-miss collision-course .

Of course gracing each other with a grazing of each other.

You slipped by this time...

I don't think we actually bumped.....

Did we?

B* ;-) Butterscotch flava' (reply to the caramel obsession Part 1) So you say your my soul mate and wonder if you are you without me.

I savor the flavor of sweet butterscotch laced with caramel cream I long to cup some on the tip of my tongue and share it with you in a long lingering tease of a kiss tongue tied and twisted as your lips try to engage with mine I hold back only allowing you the tip.

If I dive into you we become one, from two?

Each having our distinct texture and flava wile creating a new sensation for the world to behold where we intersect.

The question is not ....

If I jump in you will I be free?

Will I be complete?

Will I be me?

It is when we combine will we be so powerful as to claim freedom for the world. will the world ever be the same? will you and I be WE? I know the flava of caramel and it's so smooth created by the right combinations of brown sugar and cream but what will we call it with the addition of butterscotch?

I can smell it intoxicating drawing me closer arousing my senses.

Again... could Caramel become my drug of choice???

Brian > From: "Tracy Denise" > Date: Thu, 08 Aug 2002 23:14:13 -0700 > Subject: the caramel obsession part 1 > > > The Caramel Obsession > > Feelings of withdrawal make my heart feel like its going to burst. > Come to me. > I am addicted to your presence. > I need you, to feel you, to see you, to smell you, to love you. I need to > want you. > My heart urges me to express the truth > To face reality > To let go and jump and be free.

> But there is no safety net, nothing to catch me. > Is there? Is that in u? > If I jump in you will I be free? > Will I be complete? > Will I be me? > > I'm happy yet sad > Filled > Yet lonely life is wonderful, > But what will it be without you? > You are my soul mate > My love > my life > my match > Is this reality? > I pour my heart out because it is all I can do... > Without you knowing the pure essence of the caramel obsession > The love revelation > The compliment to life. > Let me seep into you > Let me seep into your heart, > Your soul, your > You

Cabin Fever Milling around my mind I find myself alone in here like a huge concert hall vibrating with the echoes of last night's crowds.

I still hear the voices you know, but it doesn't make the people seem any closer.

The emptiness seems cold as I find a line of ant invading from the cold rainy expanse beyond my walls.

They're desperate to get in eating whatever they find , a crumb, drip of honey , some sweets, some protein and I’m desperate to get out to find the life that has been eluding me somewhere in the vast universe outside my mind there are a million stories that never made it to the show in my own personal performance space.

My head feels dizzy as a drop from the leak in the ceiling splashes on my head reminding me that outside things are very different.

If only I cold find the door..........

B* Thu, Dec 19, 2002 1:51 PM

The calling An entire life seeking Wondering why I am here What is the true purpose of my life? I sit and ponder and think Everyday burdened with the task of Figuring out my calling A noble cause Honorable and useful In service of belief and faith I try and have to live simultaneously Wishing all I had to do was serve Sit in a hall and chant with monks Learn about leading the masses and doing god’s work I want to be remembered a saint Revered as a spiritual practitioner The message comes to me in moments of peace and revelation Serve and be rewarded with more peace I sit ad ponder and think But how does it all work Where does the rest of me go The pleasure seeker the athlete The social butterfly Are these traits merely distractions from my higher calling How does this all work.

I wonder what is my calling??

A checklist built on fear!

Confused and bedazzled I wonder why I still seek that perfect one It’s about not settling for anything but the best I’m picky you know I just cant deal with anyone’s bullshit anymore You know, annoying habits , Political righteousness Couch potato insensitivity Watching the game

And no creativity I need some one who can keep up That does the things that I do That Likes to go to parties And supplies me with the kudos I want I tries that “SETTLING” thing and it didn’t work I just wasn’t getting what I wanted out of the relationship It wasn’t rewarding I didn’t feel understood It’s like we where two DIFFFERENT” people But then I had a relationship with the perfect one So I thought Everyone said we where so much alike I thought so much it was “SCARY” We did everything together Had the same friends Loved the same restaurants Like d the same bands I felt smothered after a while I couldn’t tell where I ended and they began I couldn’t run away because we shared the same world So I banished them from my world What was I thinking ; Going out with someone just like me Hmm ! Opposites attract Maybe if I look for someone who is into their own thing Who cares what it is They’ll have theirs And I’ll have mine And we’ll intersect in the “US” department But then they’ll be having fun without me Or resenting the fun I have without them OHHH ! and I hate it when someone wants to do what I’m doing Just to be around me Mucking up my gig Cause they’re just being a tourist in love.

But I want someone to love me AAAAAAAAAHHGGGGGGGG! How am I going to get what I want..

I know! I just have to do it myself!

I can do this . No one can claim my fortune but me No interference, No risk other then what I wish to risk

My own person That done ! I’ll have all I ever wanted Still yearning for that perfect one I thought it was me and I’m my own partner I fit my check list But I still yearn for the perfect one Checking back in with the check list I want just the fun parts I’ll supply the rest for myself Dinner Exercise partner Late night phone calls Lunch Vacations Road trips Social gatherings Pillow talk Sex sex sex Yeah someone to kick it with in all the things I hate to do alone.

That way I don’t have to see how they handle their laundry.

And they won’t have to see mine!

But what about it!

Why is it such a big deal!

Cool droplets collecting in the hollows Cool droplets collecting in the hollows Rolling down a silky slope reflecting the world, obtuse and beautiful Mist collecting on your fur like dew on a spider web in the morning Cascading a kaleidoscope of bubbled images Balled up mirrors of the budding day Slowly evaporating like a memory un engaged…

Dissipating into the ether Tongue tasted and smeared the moisture mixture becomes slick As your morning tea is consumed from your skin by a lovers tongue Sweat is your nectar

Attracting your loves embrace and desire to taste Sweet sweat salt infused flares loves nostrils At the hint of your fragrance.

Subtle pheromones working like your own soft moans Urging love on to combine their dew with you The tickle of a bead of sweat rolls down your spine and collects with the divine dripped from behind in the arch of your back The warm pool swirls as it starts to cool still filling the divets of your hips and flowing down you’re sides the flow is trying to converge at your belly With a subtle motion it is captured by a hand spread across your ribcage to anoint your bosom in a balm of dew created by two playing with mist that turns into….

Cool droplets collecting in the hollows..

BD 10/23/02 10:50 AM Cool droplets collecting in the hollows Rolling down a silky slope reflecting the world, obtuse and beautiful Mist collecting on your fur like dew on a spider web in the morning Cascading a kaleidoscope of bubbled images Balled up mirrors of the budding day Slowly evaporating like a memory un engaged…

Dissipating into the ether Tongue tasted and smeared the moisture mixture becomes slick As your morning tea is consumed from your skin by a lovers tongue Sweat is your nectar Attracting your loves embrace and desire to taste Sweet sweat salt infused flares loves nostrils At the hint of your fragrance.

Subtle pheromones working like your own soft moans Urging love on to combine their dew with you The tickle of a bead of sweat rolls down your spine and collects with the divine dripped from behind in the arch of your back The warm pool swirls as it starts to cool still filling the divets of your hips and flowing down you’re sides the flow is trying to converge at your belly With a subtle motion it is captured by a hand

spread across your ribcage to anoint your bosom in a balm of dew created by two playing with mist that turns into‌.

Cool droplets collecting in the hollows..

BD 10/23/02 10:50 AM

Crazy Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to get through this thing called life! Electric word life; means forever, and that 's a mighty long time...

As my spirit grows I see the thing that were invisible before The things lurking behind the door My mind becomes clearer as my heart grows stronger Able to distinguish between love and my need for it I see how I freeze Intoxicated with the fear of approaching my true being Stepping out of my own way I can see to the horizon Of the possibilities of me Seeing across the divide To a place I call home Where I don 't have to separate or delineate myself or my being from the universe of another Where my life survives unscathed Immune to the assaults of other's expectations and ridicule.

But I mean to tell you! There 's something else! The After world.

A day of never ending happiness ...

As my spirit grows I discover Righteousness And the truth behind moving my spiritual energy out of the dark and into the everlasting light where you can always see the sun, day, or night This light illuminates our path.

It shows me where I've been and where I 'm going

Even if I've never been able to see before I can feel it Like dĂŠjĂ vu The path glows with familiarity And vibrates with newness depending on how many feet have taken it The destination is useless For they all lead back to me.

So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills! You know the one Dr. Everything 's All Right You must remember that it 's easy to look for the panacea, for the placebo or the distraction side trips between paths that can keep you going in circles But the straightest path to peace is the one forward vibrant glowing following your heart we came from there We must go back! then take a look around &At least you got friends ... go crazy BD Friday, February 22, 2002 5:11 PM

RESIPE FOR MY CRUSH! Ingredients: at least two people, big desire, at least one imaginative mind, will, initiative, a little chance, a little more fate, a bunch of attraction, a pinch of hormones, a cup honey, a spoon full of love, a small bucket of trust, one solid connection, two common destinies, one patience full of virtue, and one quart of heavy whipping cream Supplies: 2 sketch pads 2 pencils a Wisk mixing bowl meeting place blender one daiquiri glass two straws.

Directions: To make the most exquisite crush. use a sauce pan to simmer your solid connection until you get a smooth consistency

Take a two quart t mixing bowl while stirring up the emotions , add : one heated big desire (mine) a teaspoon of sheer will a cup of warm chance two common destinies (pre mixed) continue stirring until the mixture begins to froth, Add the smooth connection to balance mix.

Once satisfied with the mix pour it into a hand blender add: fresh mint honey six ice cubes to bring the heat down one cup of honey the other big desire (yours) the hormones that you've been holding back for so long blend to a frappe Fill one daiquiri glass and add a love floater and two straws. then take the exquisite cocktail over to your beach blanket where your love awaits you (here's where you use your imagination) run our finger through the whipped cream and outline their lips with the sweet frothy topping place the straw between your crush's lips and watch there reaction on consuming the first taste of your concoction. Immediately after that initial sip run our finger through the whipped cream and outline there lips with the sweet frothy topping then you must deeply kiss them to create the finish to there introduction to your crush have patience and back off to see the attraction building between you.

Alternate between kissing and drinking this aphrodisiac for as long as you can control yourself as you finish place the glass in a safe place as to not roll on it and break it and continue with your petting , allow the tropical sun to warm your skin and give you a sleek sheen of salty perspiration mixed with sweet residue of cocktail-kisses trailing all over each others bodies..

Present your passion openly as it will be received and reciprocated as you both fall deeper into the throes of lovemaking.

Licking, kissing, stroking, caressing, gigglin' , and adoring the closeness that allows the crush's magic to work.

In the soft light of the evening you find out what the pencils and sketch pads are for .....

Draw a portrait of your loves face as they enjoy one of the most peaceful and fulfilled moments of their life with deep crush ... to be continued...

Cry It pours from the sky when the pressure condenses the tears of the air quenching my thirst to release.

The rain comes in waves like loves lonely tears undulating across the fields flowing down the window pains but it brings forth healing of the great cracks in the dryness of he parched soil it sparks life into the dormant seeds it flows through the streams and gullies forgotten as ancient waterways Some find the wetness inconveniencing and obtrusive, but they can not see though the mists of rain to the beauty of the life of liquid going through all life in a cycle flowing through us and carrying all that we find we need nourishing, quenching ,cleansing our soul life giving tears from the heavens.

B* Thu, Dec 19, 2002 1:11 PM

Deep blue Deep blue Endless Star specked Open hearted My heart is The universe

Don't know what to say Don't know what to say Don't know what to do Can't just run away

From the past I have with you It stings in every way Word stabbing completely through my skin Piercing my body and heart Fucking with my mind I keep thinking, Did I do this Is that how I feel Cause I keep getting told that it s a relief To not be in my life Burning I am for the word, Not closure but resolve Of the relation-ship that was fractured A fraction of what was wanted A faction of what was expected A factor of two energies combined A Factory of need for fulfillment With facts distorted By manufactured projections of need A fictional construct of where we wanted to be Overlaid upon layers of fantasy Don't know what to say don't know what to do can't just run away From the future I feel due I try to sing away Words piercing through My heart like needle piercing taught balloons without cause Of explosion Sitting in the edge of my seat wondering why I didn’t explode It feels like a broken rib More than a broken heart My rib taken from me to combine with earth And create life like a seed Oh and my seed?

Bursting at the seem Needing to be consumed Wanting to be worth it s weight in gold An elixir of the gods That is not used to placate fallacies of insecurity But use precisely to increase the heritage of love and respect That my ancestors granted me the right to carry on into the future Don't know what to say don't know what to do

can't just run away From the future I felt with you The looks that come my way Dart from my gaze Concealed without grace Thoughts obscured in a haze Of pain Stored up for eons Pent up in my loins Acting out of my groin Coursing through the furrows of my fertile mind Flowing in my veins like a drug injected for the purpose Of overtaking my system It s in every cell of mine Potent, intoxicating, and causing me to swerve as I try to regain control of my tail spin.

Don't know what to say don't know what to do can't just run away From what I know is true Unaltered is my path For I know that I move forward Righteous about the responsibilities That keep me on the surface Stoking hard and confident Swimming up stream like salmon Returning to their source Taste guides me as I have my home imprinted on my pallet Hurling my body over and over against my relation-ships that stand There like a giant DAMN Placed in my path home with no concern For My ancestry and its rights to pass. they are starting to get it now.

If they want salmon to be They must set them free And break down those Damn Stop Damming up the flow of he rivers and streams River flow of my soul There is no sink or swim

Caus I choose only one option To return home!

Don't know what to say don't know what to do can't just run away Just consistently push onward to &..

ME! BD 2/25/02 7:44:26 AM

Drift I was thinking the other day How you feared we would drift away And run out of things to say And said to my self " NO way!"

That’s not going to happen.

You probably know what I’m about to say That I’m not going to drift away And that I’m in you life to stay And that together we’ll find a way to confide in each other often I try to find ways to say And ask you to play I vibe you each day Call you each night as you lay To keep the lines of communication open And I hope you change your mind As you find That in time You’ll see our lives intertwine In ways so fine That you won’t be able to deny Our connection You will see that Friendship is a beautiful thing That grows when our souls sing A song or two the same

But often taking turns Listening to the beautiful ways in which sharing Our experiences is like Dancing Music Painting a picture Writing a story Poetry And it is all good Because we choose to Keep It going And Never to say that we Will drift away BD Mon, Mar 11, 2002 6:43 AM

Drowning in my tears Drowning in my tears Trembling in fear I realize that fear keeps me away from here Here being that place of peace and comfort Home safe and warm With icons from the past aged and worn with dreams of a peaceful future.

I cry to wash the fear from my eyes. burning down my cheeks like lava flowing to the sea My tears taste of the sea Repugnant salt like bathing in an oyster bed.

I dive to the bottom and shuck through the hideous rough shells Looking for that pearl .

Delicate seed of time worn into form from a grain of sand.

It makes it all worth while in the end as you ascend chasing the bubbles to the surface to ponder your plundered booty.

You expect it to look like the ones on the necklace.

Shiny round Almost wanting it to have a pre drilled hole.

But then you notice that it is shaped like an embryo Tapered with little buds.

The beginning of a miracle Plucked from it's bed before it's time .

I gasp for air with nostrils clogged The lights are dim in my room and I try to stay afloat Clutching my baby pearl sorry for disturbing his salty peace.

Realizing....

I'm drowning in my own tears..

Bd 6:36 PM Sun, Jan 2, 2005

eyes

B*

a glance tells a thousand words gazing reveals the truth a stare stirs u p the soul a wink suggests the beginning of a game a glare reveals injury a squint exposes the need to protect closed eyes wonder through the mind eyes wide open can still be blind...

Fading out of range The distance is felt Trying to connect And feel the way it was Without trapping myself In the comfort of the fantasy In the physical memory of your presence As I sit around on Friday evening wondering what to do Where to go.

I have more space in my life right now..

Time to do‌ Time to explore But I hold out Holding it open

Thinking you’ll park outside my window once more.

I find peace as well Not having to perform Needing not to be … for you As this thing is fading out of range I try to stay open Hoping it is temporary But it is still moving in that direction I release it and let go I morn I long I grow I appreciate and remember Celebrate It was good……

BD 11/03 Tell me the dark story from across the sky Dreams blow a breath song soft as these shadows My loving whisper will go deep through cold steel Yet time asks this earthly balm a thousand secrets I am a dance like summer evening light Strange with perfect warm rain after her morning storm Let it wander what drops shall come Sleep not over here, for lifeless winter turns to green blooming spring And sun star and moon leave out all his wine.

You belong were ever you are

Fuck!

Why must I miss you every day?

Maybe it’s because of the love I have for you Maybe it’s the smile on your face when you sit on the ridge of the grand canyon Worshipping the sun Maybe it’s the way you speak to your dreams and engage your fantasies Maybe it’s because I love the way you taste and grow week in the knees when I hold you by the arching the small of your back Every day I smell my pillow wishing it still holds your essence Dream of the inspiration to be me that I felt in your arms.

Honor the courage and work that it takes to be honest and real each

moment revel in our joint quest to find our higher power and to heal from the systems that strive to separate us from our divine inheritance Every day I see our beautiful creations our wonderful children and wonder Fuck!

Why must I mess you each day?

Answer: If I didn’t miss you …then I would have to be blind and or numb to the lost I feel in not having you in my life. I am neither, I am in mourning…

Love Brian Mon, Mar 18, 2002 11:42 AM

Full Moon The clouds thin exposing your light Silver pale shining through the dark night sky I wonder if you shine your light for me The illumination that allows mobility in the shadows Illuminates the dark corners of my imagination Showing me the direction of the sun Shyly hiding beyond the horizon You speak to me with a twilight tipped tongue Soothing my day away Tucking me in to a sweet slumber as your body's glow drenches me in a magic field of pale warmth Your voice is the path I follow to other lands The light sound that I yearn for at the end of my day.

Dreamy eyed I stare at you longing to touch you Wanting to fly away westward across your arch Over oceans and continents across seas and rivers to the place where you rest You pull me with great gravity pushing the tides of my emotions changing the flow of my mood each time I'm graced with your fullness.

I catch glimpses of you in daylight and it seems so odd You sneak across the sky, slipping through the day Teasing and taunting to see if I'm still watching.

I wont miss you though, caus' I can feel you when you're there And I can sense your arrival when you're hiding around the bend.

So show yourself stop teasing me Lift me from where I stand and bring me to be with you

Safe in your light, bathed in your brilliance Pulled by your body, and longing for one chance To experience a lunar romance with your heavenly being... full just for me BD 10/15/02

Gather Gather around and hear the sound Of sweet jazz trumpeting from my heart.

Melodic riffs of syncopated rhythm drift Through my veins As the notes flow from my lips pressed firmly to the mouth piece Squeezing out flabbergasting sounds That when funneled through my love come out as pure magic Drifting in waves throughout the air and into your soul.

My music is a gift for anyone who lets it in .

My love is a magic that with harmony conducts a symphony Of sounds and sensations that make it all worthwhile.

Gather around and hear the sound Of the drums pounding at my heart’s door, Waking us from our slumber with our feet tapping and fingers snapping.

Tribal beats of percussive melody are a map to our ecstasy; Grinding our hips and swaying our knees.

Both feet off the ground cause the scene’s got us jumpin’ Pressing out ancestral rhythm that invokes an understanding That we’re all in this together.

Not by force , but by sheer desire to be connected.

Loving the beat.

Gather around and hear the sound Of my bass backing up the shrill melody.

I you let me go solo, thumbing your strings, You‘ll feel my music curl your toes Press through any tension you thought you had Clearing your mind to the boom in the room.

You’ll remember how grand each heart beat was in the womb.

The original bass beat of your mother’s heart brought back to Remind us all to chill and be.

Gather around and hear the sound Of ten fingers and two feet sendin ebony and ivory to the street .

Melody spanning octaves without mistake, not Blake, But definitely not a fake Cause you feel my love.

Pouring out from my fingers Pressing into your back and Pushing you on the edge of your seat.

I’m going to keep the melody going As all the musical elements flow and combine to create Unforgettable harmonics that’ll have you humming my song For the next few days…

And wondering why you cant get it out of your mind.

Grinning the whole time!

Gather around and hear the sound Of my lips pressed the reed.

Like that time in your life when there was “nothing but kissin?”

Being “on fire” The power “Of lips touching” Tonguing the notes feeling like “Sex that no one else can see” As you “loose yourself” in the sax.

Belting out expressions of brass sounds smeared with soft reed Vibrating between my curled in pursed lips.

Loose yourself, disappear in drunkenness From the chemicals in your body rearranging.

Remixed by the musical power of “Love Supreme” BD Sat, Jul 13, 2002 8:07 PM Inspired by Love and Roy Hargrove

Graphing the connections Graphing the connections I look at my life full round colliding with another we connect at a point and begin to overlap domain in the middle translucent blending our colors it creates some thong new a new way of being a new way of seeing consuming parts of the robust whole illuminating a destiny while under my scrutiny looking for continuity

and dreaming of ecstasy I plea for security knowing I need stability needing a firm grip on reality Is this me??????????????? am I free??????????

Can we See?????????? who are we to be?????????

Ha! Ha He he ha ha he he Huh Huh huh He he ha ha he he Huh huh Huh He he Huh huh ha ha he he Huh He he ha ha he he Huh huh Uh, owch, Ha! I AM I ammm.... thinking about you and wondering what it would be like to sculpt my feelings from a mass of the earth or to paint my emotions upon a canvas showing each line of expression flowing from my ecstatic skin show you how our meeting has inspired me in song with a melody as soft an seductive as it is elusive and new or to play you a rhythm on a drum or on the wall that gets your backbone bending an d your hips grinding to MY beat.

If only I could take you to the field of dreams that I call "my other home" away from crashing planes and schedules built in 15 minute blocks This place is diminishing, waning in the shadow of today's gimme gimme society I want to so badly create that place where I can settle into my groove painted green textured on my pallet singing to the stars pounding in my heart guiding me ....

Home Brian

Deep blue Deep blue Endless Star specked

Open hearted My heart is The universe... and you are a bright star warming other celestial bodies with your radiance inspiring me to disrobe the bondage of my earthly garments and bathe in your light warm sweat glistening on my skin I grow darker in appreciation of your heat turning slowly as if on a rotisserie to ensure I've soaked up each ray of your ultra -- violet energy into each pore of my newly exposed skin. it's never felt like this before to lay out un-abashed and exposed to your element awaiting the blessing of your anointment soaking in the life giving energy that created your child that inspires your art and educated our future I BASK IN YOUR LIGHT

Thinking Back I'm thinking about back when I couldn't have been even ten Ant I was tryin to figure out who I was You see kids are mean They see it as it 's seen How they 're taught to see without diplomacy The Race or the color of a person 's face But I found I must have been the only one Profound I found that I was getting treated different and wanted to know why how I was seen in others eye I would go to a lake and play out the stakes Trying to play Marko polo with the white kids They would stare and shy away

And call me names But I still didn't recognize the pain of bigotry They called me darkie And all the games morphed to keep away from me And I started to see.

But back in the hood It wasn't all good because My brother and sisters where mean Cause they thought I was in between I couldn't figure out how I was seen Taunted and teased they called me white boy./ I didn’t 't understand My dad and grandfathers where all black man And my moms an her moms and moms where African But it happened all the time They where bending my mind Separating me from my kind With words that began to unwind My ego As I built up a resent for whatever evil Made me different Running home crying I didn’t have confusion in my home We all looked red bone.

My friends in the hood Traded me good, but I started to see West Baltimore was darker than me It was at school where I t came out Special treatment no doubt I 'd get what I wanted d with out a pout From the bourgeoisie middle class teachers Who saw my potential The judged from my class That I could pass My completion and enunciation Decided my education Gave me attention And explanations To my questions While my darker brother and sisters where reprimanded for not knowing Were kept from growing They made me their pet And I thought I was set But I was loosing a bet

As I got on the track to :success But in the yard , it was getting too hard The divide was wide as I sat on the side The games and the names where hurting the same My shame was that I couldn’t 't be me and have anyone see That I didn’t 't ask to be separated in that That it just happened one day I went to go play and my friends shrugged away I became a resentful nerd Not following the herd keeping my words and Finding ways to be heard.

I found fiends that were like me ' The light skinnded ones you see With them I could just be..

But back in my hood There was a shift from being good In order to be cool We would ditch school And act a fool We 'd plan us some capers And fuck with some haters Go to other schools And pick on some sad fools.

But often we 'd get caught The steaks were low we thought Cause we were juveniles and all the wile We where just havin fun after all.

But here 's the deal I could walk down the hall Like nothing at all & Work in progress bd

If you where my best friend…

If you where my best friend and you moved away id think of you each day want 2 write u a post card 2 say how much I miss my confidant in so many ways If you where my best friend and our friendship drifted away

and we could not play I’d sit in silence and burn a candle to celebrate time well spent.

You see friendship is this place where you feel seen and see the person you want to be witnessed by another.

It marks time and space shared... sacred that is different than other encounters.

If you where my friend and moved away I would await the reunion to pick up where we left off to catch up on life and witness growth .

I'd ask how things had been and how things have gone down Picking up on what was known eager to fill the void of time... connection... communication I'd care , I’d share, I’d dare to listen to the good, the challenging, the events in the passing time.

If you where my best friend and things got hard I’d sit with you and listen , thinking of how to make it better, think of your best interest of how to support the changes in your life.

If you where the best friend that you where, I'd not hold the past captive.

I'd see you as you where and understand your path .

If I asked you to be mine...

If I asked you to be mine... to be my valentine if only for this day would you lay me splay today as I found cupid .

Would I be lain out stupid outpouring from my heart how I feel you and take joy in your presence how I fearlessly smile all the while as you sit in spite of your longing terrified to love like you have always yearned.

Would you risk the pain of asking again

to be loved once more as you had once before cherished and experiencing the love of a lover who asked of no other for a hand in this life like man and a wife partnered though time embraces in each other Would you turn the other cheek without feeling week in order to open your heart and smile knowing the love is not vile and heals us from the fear of feeling un wanted or indifferent Would you understand that it is part of the plan for love too open our hearts and reveal the pain in need of healing and in this process we are allowed to assess desire, closeness and the right to possess... peace.

IF you can't find someone to love and who truly loves you the one that you seek may just be the one you sleep with every night.

The one you wake to each morning the one who knows you better than your mother.

The one inside that you can feel in stillness and wears no mask to protect from revealing.....

That the one you must love first unconditionally is yourself.

One and all love comes from loving the creator in you.

The creator of each step we take bless to be healthy, vibrant, alive and willing to communicate readiness to share this thing called life.

Embark on this dream and find ways to love with abandon...........without fear........

Living a life of eyes wide-open love.

Brian love is not blind, it is living life with eyes wide open.

If I could travel back in time If I could travel back in time And be with you I would have kissed the back of your neck yesterday

I would have held you tight last week And listened to your heart through your bosom each second before this one Last month I would have met you for coffee And three weeks ago I would have come to you from behind In a dance studio and loved you up If I could travel through time I would wake you up tomorrow with breakfast in bed And gone for a morning hike to see the sun rise over a virgin snow three days ago.

If I could travel time we would have been lovers for an eternity by now And we would be meeting for the first time every day Our honey moon would happen each week And you would be forever my fiancĂŠe If I could travel back in time It would be love at first sight every day And sweet reunions would be every second If I could travel through time I would know you like I know myself And geek out every time I try to open my mouth to say something to you You would be in my dreams While you stroke my brow Watching my eyes roll in my head and my face blushing in a slumber of fantastic passion .

If I could travel in time I 'd be there right now Making love to you At 5:26 in the morning And we 'd be alone in a cabin Snow shoes hanging on the wall Fire burning Skis hanging on the front porch Bodies writhing Boots drying Sweat smearing Tea brewing Strong embracing Wolves howling Moaning in unison Pleasure penetrating Sun rising Deep eye gazing world awakening Brown skin lickin ' Just Being

Together in love & & 2/5/02 5:35:19 AM BD

If you look around‌ If you look around You will find the answer in the patterns Of fern leaves spiraling from a pod And the shadow cast on the ground at noon As you see the truth in nature you see the truth in what you must believe in If you look around you will find Pleasure is a celebration of feeling It is the luxury earned by creating time to be in the moment With no ghostly pain of injury lurking Murking up the present with a reminder Of the injuries endured deep in the past Or in recent history Without healing these pains They follow us around Chiming out there presence as a bell on the horizon Vague enough for us to operate with the belief that they re gone Until We have a moment to sit and be ~ Safe Loved Ecstatic Enough to hear that chime in contrast with the bliss that we all Are inherently due If you look around you can see people distracting themselves from the horizon and the bells tolling in their past Wounded and not seeing the need for healing The pattern remains that Nature will reveal all of life's beauty but we have to be in it to See!

Illusive sweet

Illusive sweet You brush through my reality Leaving ethereal trails Vaguely resembling a crossing of paths I remember your glance I was grazed by your flesh and attempt to heal Bd 10 /03

Tuck Can we tuck each other in between the words that flow like text messages as we part late to work after procrastinating on the big "o".

Late again tucking each other in between the words that trickle out of my parched lips dehydrated and wanting to be kissed by your moistness imagining the taste of you words in between the hectic schedules where we have to deal with people that we'll never trust as we trust the words in between our souls keeping our eyes on the prize of familiarity that we share when the world has us down and we know that we hold the words in between what is home the walls of our sanctuary that once inside you and I can't hold back the words in between the gaze of our eyes reminding us that you are me and I am you and in between us is the universe spreading love into the reaches of all that lies in between our words.

Maximum Joy, Minimum Drama!

I'm cleaning it all up!

I'm looking deep inside at how I created drama throughout my life as a distraction form joy I used to think pleasure and happiness were synonymous with joy but now I know there is something else.

Pleasure is ego satisfaction and is based on whatever pleases me not necessarily the best thing for me, I indulged in pleasurable fancies most of my life.

I thought I was happy because I knew what pleased me, I did as I pleased, and enjoyed other pleasure seekers. they were my model of happiness.

I always knew something was missing though.

Pleasure and happiness were THINGS to pursue, but I started seeing that Joy and Faith were holy.

Joy and Faith are ways of being that have a spiritual base and create a balance in life.

We pay for our pleasure and receive intense dramatic responses to feeding our egos The drama reinforced my desire for seeking pleasure and was the reward and attention for being a pleasure seeker.

Joy on the other hand attracts peace and balance Joy prepares me for genuine happiness, in that it is coupled with peace.

The drama of being a pleasure seeker brings gratification rather than genuine happiness and a need to be refilled with pleasure over and over, like a drug, to maintain the gratification .

The cycle created by this took me away from joy , genuine happiness and , balance all ingredients for faith.....

As I transform my pleasure seeking to joy seeking, I release the drama and insecurity of riding the gratification roller coaster and find that I take joy in my connections to the people in my life (not what they do for me) in being present and in bliss ( I will talk about bliss later) and having balance and genuine happiness ( for the first time in my life) This was not taught to me as I grew up and took painstaking trial and error to understand Take this in and feel the words!

I would like to hear how it resonates with you......

BD Thu, Sep 5, 2002 8:09 AM maxjoy@briand@creativechildren.org

reflections!

The mirror reflects my truth Like a picture of my being snapped at the camera drop The trigger finger on my reality A moment of truth undeniable I look into the mirror and see another Feeling my fear shooting from my pupils gathering static around my iris The energy crackles like lightning Sending pulses of static blurring my image Self Hidden in fear I wipe the steam from the glass

And see my love fogged over through and Peephole smudged through the fog Tears roll down the pain From the bottom of the swiped portal Collecting the moist residue of my exhale .

Innate reflection seeing deep into my eyes My life my strife Anguish pushes me to pull my punch before injury as chards of Glass crumple into the sink Trickle of blood My proof that I really do exist Champagne pink bubbling as I wash away My blood and collect the sharp particles Watch with a piece of my past A glimmer of that moment They say it’s seven years bad luck But I’ve been paid that luck forward And can’t believe smashing that my terror Has no gain I feel the pain that set me free of that image burnt into The film of my memory in sepia tone contrast To the brilliant colors of reality…

BD no date

Ohhh! The Moon Round, silver chards of light pierce the darkness With an element of surprise.

The sun retired for the night has passed the horizon and is drifting to sleep over the pacific ocean Warming the seas , creating warm currents that drive the weather across the globe I know it’s there because it gives illumination to the moon Ohh so beautiful Like a midnight fire in the sky, a cold flame of soft light, filtering through the canopy turning the night-scape to silver and gray, Spooky shadows cast in the periphery of my vision and clarity in my lap as I sit on a log at the edge of the clearing.

We said we would meet here each full moon and I await the sound of your footsteps jogging their way up the hillside. The night never seems this alive as I await our lunar encounter…

Heads bowed down

Heads bowed down Enveloped in the deadly news papers putting on the daily face wrapped up in a "good novel" asleep, trying to catch one more moment of rest (peace? Maybe not) I see people in transit leaving the sanctity of home going to work school or just "out" I watch seeking a glimmer of connection 80 people per train 10-car train 20 trains in a rush hour 16000 in all going the same path but getting off at different stops thousands of destinations but held captive for just a moment in a common experience not noticing the entrapment of their commute until the train stops in a tunnel... wondering who will rescue who is in charge who is the one to trust who will need help is it everyone for themselves if we need to escape the tunnel... another day rolling along the track of life I sit watching and notice breaking through the rain everyone complains about a double rainbow over the bay as the train elevates on a track jutting over the projects...

Does anyone but me notice?

I look and see one other person on a train of 100É smiling É I cry remembering my first double rainbow minutes after discovering the death of my girlfriend she was smiling at me through nature it felt good to know other people see the rainbow. her smile becomes an intersection a stop we both "got off on" while on our commute. she looked up and winked at me she knows we are the only ones that can see this brings me peace in my loneliness.

Suddenly the train jolts to a stop she stands and walks toward me headed for her destination our eyes meet and she says "Beautiful HUH! I say "yes! It is!" a tear rolls down from the corner of my eye "thank you " Exit....

Oral Oration (About the oral piece)É.

To embrace and grin as I trace my tongue along your belly, dipping into your button and darting across your sides.

Swirling across your pelvis teasing to go lower but stopping at your upper thigh just below your waistline.

You squirm and clench your thighs together out of reflex knowing that you really want to spread them wide for me Wanting to grab the back of my head and feed me your love.

"But first he shall work for it" you think as I muzzle your pubic bone and reach up to stimulate you nipples.

You think " my god! How long will he tease me like this?" As I exhale across your pubes grazing your vulva beautifully hiding your growing clit and flowing sex.

Your last squirm widens the gap between your thighs just enough for the tip of my tongue to dart through your folds and you grasp at the silk straps preventing you from grabbing the back of my head and pulling me by the ears fully into your Vee. I in-hale and you feel the cool air rush across your clit sending a chill up your spine, causing you to arch your back and feed me your pussy.... clit hardened, vulva engorged, thighs now wide YOU pull me in and allow me to devour your sweet honey. ....more later....

Processity It seems we've moved into this place Cohabitating in the same state Somewhere in the same neighborhood But buildings on different streets.

I can feel you near and wonder if you are ok Each time you freak out I can smell your sweat It makes me feel obligatorily responsible to talk you down Off the ledge Off the high horse that you teeter on This is no small town we are in but you make it feel like a desperate necessity To live in a perpetual Processity Trying to understand and be understood

Feeling like once you've exposed your issues Made yourself transparent That others will cottle you and run interFEARrence with your terror.

Anxious citizens of Processity gather to talk and talk about talking Spending time gasping and remembering Doing the mental work while never leaving Processity or even the state that Processity is the capitol of.

Processity is a safe haven; a place where when all is said it 's done there 's still so much to talk about because nothing has been done yet The Processity planners run their lives as managers and consultants Living in meetings to decide what work needs to be done Dividing up the responsibilities and blame for others to hash out in their work plans.

Taking minutes on what is said to justify getting paid to listen to each other 's process But all the work gets done somewhere else.

In action, motion, movement, and in an embrace of diversity and change.

This is the place where there is a flow of correspondence and exchange, Where intent is key and response is true Perception is based in the present and the art of being is a daily practice.

From Another fridge~23 Jan1996. here plays the gorgeous raw diamond a smooth gift hot and powerful a tiny rock delicate on your parting petals she winds light as if she’s on a trip but there's one memento her vision is flooded after the smell of blood and sweat frantically lathered to a delicious honey is licked up by a friendly tongue and smeared beneath a man woman's skin stop to picture the urging summer moon soaring above them crushing those shadows over her garden shining under their milky fingers swimming about in rose water it always is love felt and of enormous want I said I meant it but you tell me I never moan your language how weak we are to need love but please it is an essential ache

Sheltered As I sit sheltered from inspection, Shielded by distance it 's strange to feel so close Twice I've met you, once in this life and once in another Not finding an more meaning in one or the other But in the anticipation of when we will meet again.

Hearing your words, Feeling you're chill Laid back and contemplating what you could do to me If I were only there in the flesh You could show me As I you And the past present and future collide Into a union of anticipation and curiosity.

Time crushes the distance as we share a moment and recall & The talks, the messages, the notes.

As I sit sheltered from inspection Shielded by distance, It is strange to realize I barely know you at all & To be continued...

Singleness, new, I saw you Walking toward our meeting tied to talk over airwaves.

It gave me a moment to assess our stance, Contemplating romance I looked upon a beautifully busy mind, finishing one thing and starting another as tasks overlap and get checked off a never ending to do list You say that you hold the delicate secrets of friendship.

Checking your connection to your people as they think ~and dial calling you through the sky.

Your mind distracts fluttering like a butterfly from the vibrations of yet another call as I wish to have mariposa wings of stained glass glimmer to pull you away for a moment.

To bathe you in pheromones and draw you out.

I want to be more important than the notion of need in each buzz of your phone and I compete.

Trying to catch your eye, wanting to learn who you are‌.

3/19/04 bd

Surrender Surrender to the possibilities Of me being you And you being me Follow instincts of collective knowledge Universal spirit bringing us together Four a soulful communion of sorts A gathering of static that sets off the balance of the world Sparking lightning and thunderbolts during summer storms In the sultry south Rolling great balls of fire through the arid desert calling for precipitation Lighting up the aurora borealis in Norway (http://www.solarmovie.com/about/locations/aurora_borialis.html ) while somberly glowing in the heavens above Lake Superior Sending shivers up each house cat’s spine ending in a crackling of electricity at the tip of their tail as they steel away from the admiring had that strokes them Setting off power strips and erasing Bart tickets and credit cards Creating a Humm like no other in an audiophile’s ear to no avail of their technical expertise to ground the sound.

Causing dandelions to sway without a breeze and loose their seeds To the electric air propagating them to start new life.

Our connection shocks the shit out of me and I love it.

DO it to me one more time…..

Love electric, hair standing on the back of your neck, I hold you wet sweating and unable to escape my charge.

You know they say that water conducts electricity….

And you seem to be wet around me ….

I seem to want you wet…

And you surrender to the possibilities.

4/4/04 bd

That First Kiss!

MMMMMMMMMMMM! I was just asking someone the other day if they where a good kisser..

She paused before answering as if it was the first time some one asked.

I wanted to know if she could have an entire date kissing and making out.

If kissing was merely fore play or a deeply sensuous and erotic experience for her.

DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRS KISS? Not the one from your MOM or DAD or relative, but the first yummy one that made your head spin. When your lips met you knew that there was something different. Electric fur raised on your arms, butterflies in the belly and wobbly knees as you realize there was a force larger that you holding that lip locked caress as long as you could. In stead of parting from the kiss you found your lips parting and a bashful exploration and tease game of tongs teasing through teeth until you surrender to explore the open territory of your partners body. The beginning of sensual oral exploration. mmmmm ....The catalyst for exploring all other inner regions started for me here, but I had so much to learn about the kiss.

Eyes open in curiosity, eyes closed in ecstasy, soft l lips pressed together in a wet erotic press and ecstatic mouths devouring one lip then the other in a frenzy of hungry passion.

Well I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm looking for some one who can turn me out with their mouth (above the belt) or at least let me turn them out with a few passionate make out sessions. with a kiss.....

The truth about our relationship..

This is the truth (please read to the end) This is the truth If we turn things upside down We cant be the best couple in the world I'd be lying to you if I said that We have a great future ahead of us That we would be safe in each other's arms That our love would be strong That we could be best friends confidants and trust once more Before anything you must know That our relationship does not deserves such things And I'm convinced of this because I know our relationship Abandonment and distrust are in our nature

I refuse to believe under any circumstance that We could have a great partnership into the coming years Thanks to the efforts we have made so far This relationship has sunken to new depths But there are even more surprises to come We have only one destiny And whether you like it or not This is what is real You should know that I believe exactly the opposite!

It's all about perspective.

Now re-read it back from the bottom to the top!

What IF???

"What if you slept, And what if, in your sleep you dream?

And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven and there you plucked a strange and beautiful flower?

And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand?

What then?

Well!

Author unknown My Warm wandering eyes spoke my truth to be intercepted by spiteful distrustful eyes threatened by the sweetness of my words un interested in hearing how my art sees the art that you are. those prying eyes artful as they may be missed the point that connections remain smiles extrude from lips as word flow from them speaking of a comfort and acknowledgement of a moment shared peaceful innocent and beautiful bitter tongs may try to dissuade this message

but may find sweetness in a surrender to purity.

So I say hi! What's up? Again!!!!!

Words I think of your face and imagine the Words flowing from your lips and drifting to my ear Drums playing a rhythm of tone and fluctuating Vibrations giving my body an invisible Massage migrating through my body and being interpreted in my mind as Bliss that I miss.

You suck your teeth as you speak letting me know that you have something Brewing on the tip of your tong meant for my Ears: perked and in tune to your Words meaning nothing, stand alone, But meaning the world coming from your truth.

It’s all true what you say without question Sweet , sassy , curious, and collected But I imagine your words of passion The unstated, the silent, the hidden The words you fear spitting from your lips because The words you keep inside and never escape captivity The words whisked away when they come too close to the surface Swept away and packed in ice to be delivered at a later date.

Three words especially, or a name screamed out in a moment of Passion directed my way.

Shower me with those and you can have the world of words I’m holding for you Lyrics I’m holding from you Poetry I’m holding for you , Sounds from my trembling lips I hold as bait for your WORDS,,,,,, To be continued Bd Sun, Aug 4, 2002 6:24 PM

You are my drug, you are my food!

I get so high thinking of your flavor as I savor the last taste I've had of your flesh hot wet and salty as the sea,

frothy like sea foam crashing down my gullet like waves rhythmically pounding my rocky shores.

Sweet sea weed locks of hair tangled and clinging to my barnacles slowly eroding my hardness into silky sand.

I'm nourished and fed by your attentions....the many dishes you prepare to serve to me.

Creating delicate appetizers made with savory intrigue and a balance of natural attraction with a garnish of fantasy to lure me into the main course.

This entrees are made to satisfy my deepest hunger and settle all my unrest as I take pleasure in feeling full and fulfilled with a medley of subtle textures and condiments that enhance my meal ,you feed me your love.

Just as I thought I was full. I am presented with dessert.

Not just anything sweet, but options ranging from beep rich decadence to light fruity palate cleansing treats.

OHHH! 'm so full I can't even move, Senses pushed to overdrive I can only sit and fell my body Humming with sensational delight as you hold me suspended in after glow....

I must take time to digest it all, such a feast I feel like royalty to have the pleasure and privilege to know such pleasures.

I'm indulgent and blissful addicted to knowing.... that this high is a gift of love.

If there were ever an addiction I would endorse, it would be of this feast within of two lovers serving it up right.

You feed me well.

I am High BD Thu, Sep 5, 2002 7:31 AM

Spiral Your mind is reflected in these mists missed by the thoughts I have projecting from my fear through your eyes If I could type faster I could tell you all that is going through my mind right now but it is a cobweb infested mess as I sort through my shit trying to clean up , like the clean up after the fire oily soot from burning flesh covering the walls as I find the missing g treasures thought to be incinerated by the conflagration of fear in my heart ...Love is the extinguisher for this fire and the mist that I missed in the corners of my eyes are held back just in case of another fire ,...I may need the spray of tears to extinguish that boiling flame burning it's way up my gullet..