Lessons in Diversity

Lessons in Diversity: Fostering the Richness of Life Through Empathy

Dr. Arthur Ciaramicoli, a 1966 graduate of Bridgton Academy, has been busy working on, what he feels, is the most important charge he’s undertaken in his career. After more than thirty-five years as a clinical psychologist, and after publishing ten books and numerous white papers, Dr. Ciaramicoli’s body of work is anything but small. He had actually reached a point in his career where he didn’t think he would write another book. Then, his thinking changed, as he continued to see a reality around him that just didn’t feel right.

The Triumph of Diversity, Dr. Ciaramicoli’s most recent work, has a message for anyone who is willing to listen: we need, as a nation, to better embrace diversity and empathy. “I am writing this book because I am brokenhearted about recent developments in our society. I hope ... that we can address the rising tendencies of prejudice and hate within our culture while discovering a formula to counter the fear of diversity and difference.”

In this publication, Dr. Ciaramicoli pre sents research and teachings that are neither political nor partisan; they are human. He shares the very real mental and physical health consequences that can come from a lack of empathy, as well as the numerous benefits that result from an expansion of personal awareness and understanding of others in the world around us.

“Diversity is the antidote to groupthink,” states Dr. Ciaramicoli. “It expands the mind and enriches the soul.” The book includes case studies from Dr. Ciaramicoli’s work with individual patients as well as his communication and leadership groups. It contains lessons for people of all ages about how we can question our preconceived notions, slow down to listen, and think seriously about how we act towards and perceive other human beings.

Much of “Dr. C’s” book focuses on the important practice of empathy, a topic that is often an area of focus and discussion dur ing any given year at Bridgton. “Empathy is the salve that teaches us to reach beyond our own circle and to be at ease with uncer tainty. We would be a better people and nation if we focused on taking the time to listen and learn from those who seem to have different perspectives than us .… Empathy, the capacity to understand and respond to the unique experiences of another, is not a quick response; it is a thoughtful response… With empathy, we can encounter people of different races, or religions, or countries of origin with a great sense of curiosity rather than with a great sense of fear. Empathy is the heart of diversity.”

Arthur explains that, from a young age, he felt sensitive to teachings and comments that just didn’t feel right to him. “By the time I reached high school I had heard that the Irish were drunks, the Italians were mobsters, the Polish were dumb, blacks were lazy, Jews were cheap, homosexuals were going to hell, atheists were evil, and the Chinese and Russians were inherently bad people .… from an early age, I was sensitive to these and other distortions.” He recalls that his 1966 Bridgton yearbook caption reads “BA’s Number One WOP, Tough as Nails”. The labels used by society are a large focus of Arthur’s recent work, and research shows that these views are established at a young age. “Distorted views of others begin early in life, with parents having the greatest impact on the attitudes that their children eventually accept as truths. Children will play and thrive with all others until someone tells them not to.”

In late adolescence, the same age as Bridgton students, Dr. Ciaramicoli shares that the need to belong can create even larger challenges for the practice of empa thetic thinking. “One of the hardest things for young men in this age group is that they want to belong. Your sense of self is still growing, still fluid. Young people are drawn to groupthink. There is a real fear of speaking or acting in a way that is outside of the norm. You need to learn to develop the courage to go outside of this. Every time you let some thing pass by that you know isn’t right, you lose a little bit of your own self-worth. When you choose to be the one to stand up and talk about things, you can become a highly respected leader. Just make sure you do not respond with aggression, but rather with a tone that conveys a desire to understand.”

It can be a real challenge to find and foster our own awareness to all of those prejudices that surround us. Our own popular culture is, after all, inundated with these messages. Arthur shares that each and every one of us has the capacity to enhance our own empathy, to experience the triumph of diversity, and to garner the health and life benefits of doing so. “Everyone is born with empathy neurons. But, unless you cultivate them, it’s like a muscle that becomes unused—and our empathy can atrophy over time.” That said, according to Dr. Ciaramicoli, it’s never too late to become more aware of our own behavior. His advice? “Start small. Remind yourself of these four rules: (1) Don’t generalize. (2) Don’t demonize. (3) Don’t make assumptions about others. (4) Live with the fact that no one person represents any nation, any ethnicity, or any religion.”

These lessons will set us all on the path towards enhanced understanding of and compassion for our human family in the world around us, an incredibly important practice in today’s reality as we work through the challenges posed by a global pandemic. Bridgton Academy is proud of this alumnus for challenging all of us to better embrace the power of diversity. BA

Arthur Ciaramicoli, Ed.D., Ph.D., attended Bridgton Academy in 1966. He was a member of Bridgton’s football and baseball teams. Following Bridgton, he attended Southern Connecticut State University. Dr. Ciaramicoli went on to earn doctorate degrees in both psychology and education. He is a frequent speaker and lecturer and still operates his own private practice in Massachusetts. His website is http://www. balanceyoursuccess.com.

We embrace empathy, teach tolerance, and help young men change their lives. As a community, we denounce systemic racism and abuses of power in all their forms. We denounce, too, the forces that choose to corrupt peaceful protests through violence and chaos. These evils fly in the face of the values upon which the Academy and our country were founded.

Black lives matter because they are human lives under threat. We stand with our students and alumni of color at this difficult time, and we encourage the entire Bridgton family to support each other and to continue to do good work in their communities.

Bridgton Academy is the “the year that makes the difference,” which means not only that we must make a difference, we must be that difference. Let’s make it for the better.