The Bold Source Issue 3 Self-care & Healing

Cover Artist: Linh Tong

Title: Healing Hands

Materials used: Grey lead pencil, colour pencil, marker and fine-liner on paper.

Acknowledgement of Country

We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land, the Wurundjeri and Bunurong People of the Kulin nations. We pay our respects to elders, past, present and emerging.

We acknowledge the devastation of colonisation and post colonialism and the continued disparity between Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander and non-Indigenous Australians that continues today.

We recognise and celebrate the rich culture of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities and their strength and continued connection to the land. Sovereignty was never ceded. Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land.

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS

Greetings to you, reader,

Welcome aboard the third issue of The Bold Source magazine; a ‘Brimbankian’ magazine - made by young people for young people!

Our creative and passionate editors aim to create an empowering, inspiring and safe space for young people to be creative freely and comfortable when crafting their work. This is a platform for young people to be proud of their work and the change they are creating in our community – to never be afraid to be bold in showcasing their creativity. We believe that solidarity is empowerment and this is why we want young people to engage with their community and experience new opportunities, in a way that is made for young people - with fun and love, of course!

This year’s issue’s theme is self-care and healing. Generally, we believe self-care is a process into exploring what makes us happy, healthy and content. To us editors, self-care and healing means different things as they are individual experiences. There is no right or wrong way to take care of yourself. It is not selfish or lazy like some claim it to be. Taking care of yourself is essential to continue to live fulfilling lives. Self-care is like a promise we make to ourselves each day. Have you made that promise yet? If not, after this issue, we hope you do!

We chose this theme as a natural progression from our last issue, where after metamorphosis and transformation (make sure to have a read of this one too!), we sometimes need to reflect on the previous turbulence and find ways to learn and

heal. Although the theme is pertinent to the current pandemic and social isolation, in truth, self-care and healing is something that will always be relevant, even when it may be forgotten during times of stress and hardship.

As our lives have drastically changed these past few years, the way we navigated life has also changed, including the way we took care of ourselves. As editors, we hope you can find a sense of healing and inspiration within these stories. We invite you to join the Bold Source team to be a part of our movement of taking words to a destination and making a promise of selfcare! Enjoy the voyage! May your creativity and potential be endless, The Bold Source Editors

by Lauri Pavlovich

Author’s note: this is written about my experiences as a trans nonbinary person, but I hope that you can see yourself within my sentences too.

There are choices we get in life…a lot of which are taken from us. My body is one thing I should have total autonomy over but instead, it is a politician’s favourite debate topic. In primary school before children have the intellect to insult character, it is our bodies they go for. Any abnormality is torn apart in an attempt to make themselves seem more normal. To be different is to put yourself at risk of falling under the stampede. But when we get older we realise it is not a choice - to hide is a pain even worse. Then we must fight.

As we are suddenly thrown into a new dangerous world, we are expected to know everything, as if it is decided that our new responsibility is to answer invasive questions. It becomes exhausting as it slowly wears you down. We are angry and sad when everyone tells us that to be listened to, we need to be “reasonable”.

This is how self-care becomes vital to our survival. When the world is pushing us harder and telling us to run, then to protect ourselves we must learn to say “no”. We don’t need to prove our worth through productivity. People will take as much as they can from our time and energy trying to save themselves from the same burnout they are pushing us into. When existing in a world where time = profit, remember to spend lavishly on yourself.

When walking slowly to the train station and taking days off just to lay in bed, we begin to understand that doing nothing is not a waste of time, but instead a necessity. We need time to rest and recover, this looks different for everyone. Some people may need extra sleep, others need more time with loved ones, and

some might prefer to binge their favourite show. Whatever rest looks like for you, it is important to allow yourself a step back. Our mental and physical health rely on it to function comfortably; and we all deserve to be comfortable.

Self-care is finding people who make everything just a little bit easier. People who will hold your hand and talk when you are too tired to. People who feel like breathing in spring air, walking over crunchy autumn leaves, cool water on a hot summer day or a blanket to bear the winter’s cold. Find people who will love you the year round, who are there without you asking.

Stop accepting the bare minimum and know that you deserve more. Self-care is communication: talk to your friends, check-in, set your boundaries - don’t let people cross them and learn to ask for help. Hype yourself up the way you would a best friend, be an audience member to your own performance.

We are worth putting energy into. It is okay to not be happy all the time, to lay awake at night replaying conversations and to not like what you see in the mirror. Self-care is wanting and trying to be better. Our bodies do not need to change, we need to change the way we view them. To tear down our harshness and learn kindness for our skin - we owe them that. When we live in a place that profits from our self-hate, loving ourselves becomes a rebellious act. Our bodies deserve more than to be tolerated; they deserve celebration.

by Parminder Kaur

my Skin sloughing, hair shedding and nails being nervously chewed on my body is in a constant state of erosion and renewal as I step into the world

I can’t help but leave a trace an impression a mark… with each exhale I house bacteria that predates humanity, carrying ancient love, grief, and rage at a cellular level the world that looms up in my mind Is lethal and unknowable Like desire itself The way to love someone is to tenderly run your finger over that person’s soul until you find an opening to gently pour love into

FLEETING LANDSCAPES

by Parminder Kaur

Fleeting landscapes

Ephemeral feelings

My heart swelling for the uncertainty

Trying to survive the rupture

Show me my ancestors before they burned

I’m finding my family

But mostly finding them dead

Becoming undone every day

The demarcations of my body turning to dust

Complete erasure of the soul

Imprinting myself onto the leaves of trees

Blowing away with the meek whispers of the wind

I leave quietly With grace and beauty

Absolving myself of all past sins

Having known I had nurtured And loved with as much courage

Creating the Healthy, Happy Minds Wellbeing Mural

Let me introduce you to the Student Voice Action Teams of Keilor Downs College.

We are a group of passionate young people ranging from years 7-12 who are divided into teams along the four focuses of Instagram promotion, events, wellbeing and facilities. Our team has been the voice of students in our school since 2017. Our past projects involved organising IDAHOBIT Day, Harmony Day, Open Night and The Summer Musical Festival. Aside from events, you can find us conducting student feedback surveys and managing the studentled Instagram page.

Having a sense of community is really important, but in schools it is just as essential. As young people, we

know that students are searching for friendship, guidance and a sense of self. School settings often provide an escape for those who are struggling at home or in other environments. Forming and keeping connections with others can boost students’ wellbeing to improve their mental health. But, because of the COVID-19 pandemic, students struggled to keep in touch due to the switch to online learning. Hence, the issue we hoped to respond to was the lost spirit due to the diminishing sense of community among the school. We hoped that when all students returned to their school

setting, they would be able to regain the sense of community they once had. We wanted to achieve this by bringing together students from diverse backgrounds and interests and school staff to work together on a common goal - to create a mural.

We chose to create a mural to grasp and display a definition of the school’s idea about mental wellbeing and self-care. Rather than restrict the definition to a paper or presentation format that would be short-lasting, a mural that would stand on the grounds of the school would have long lasting effects.

Keilor Downs College 2022

In late 2020 and on behalf of the school, Binusha (Student Voice member) and I applied for The Foundation for Young Australians (FYA) Youth Action Project Grant Scheme to fund our idea. Luckily, in early 2021 we found out that we were successful! Our idea was finally going to become a reality. We hoped to put smiles on the school community’s faces as they entered school each day.

We initially collaborated with school staff to work out the measurements and location of the mural. We then asked the student body to submit their design proposals as we wanted the mural to be purely designed by us, the youth of the future!

Our project ended up being delayed due to the Covid-19 pandemic lockdowns in 2020-2021. Our task of obtaining feedback from our peers including well-being tips, inspirational quotes and the mural design ideas had to be put on hold. The majority of the student consultations and working party meetings had to be either done online or delayed until we got back on site after the lockdowns.

We met with a professional mural artist, Sebastian Franz, who helped turn our ideas into a masterpiece in early 2022. With his help, we were able to begin the physical aspect of our project and began painting the mural with the help of students and the mural artist.

The day that we painted the mural became one of engagement, positivity, and joy. Together the students and the mural artist worked together to incorporate the multicultural and inclusive aspects of our school onto a blank canvas. The faces of the youth featured on the mural included young people from diverse backgrounds of race, ability, and talents to ultimately paint a multifaceted and colourful representation of our school.

Creating the Healthy, Happy Minds Wellbeing Mural

We learned a lot throughout the process of creating the mural including how to effectively communicate with the team and how to manage and plan a successful project. Binusha, one of the artistic and logistic student contributors to the mural said that “Working on the mural was both an enjoyable and challenging experience. However, it was great to see how our efforts paid off for the better of the wellbeing and mental health of our school.” Nerasha, another student contributor, said that “It was fun to map out potential mural designs with other students. I also think that it was nice that we got to incorporate the student and staff perspectives through collecting their responses during surveys for potential

self-care tips to include in the mural.”

Our project impacted the whole school including staff, students and teachers. One of our school priorities was to increase the school morale by promoting wellbeing. Hence, through the project, we were directly able to address the school’s goals. The school was particularly focused on bringing back the atmosphere of positivity after the lockdowns in order to rebuild a stronger, engaged school community. Such that, the creation of the mural let us explore and dig into these goals.

Overall, I believe that our mural project was a success despite the constant setbacks we faced due to the prolonged lockdowns because of

the pandemic. I really enjoyed collaborating with my peers and Sebastian, who all came from unique backgrounds, possessing various skill sets and ideas. It was an absolute joy to work with the school staff throughout this project who made it possible for us to continue with the mural process after receiving the grant through helping us deal with all the logistics of this project. Through initiating and helping create this mural, I hope to leave a legacy at Keilor Downs College as a year 12 student part of the Class of 2021. I will definitely be returning from time to time to get a glimpse of the Healthy, Happy Minds Mural that we all worked so hard on!

Written by Imarsha Pathirana Brimbank Youth Council (BYC) Member 19 years old

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to acknowledge the people who have helped bring this mural to life. Thank you Sebastian Franz, for all your artistic help with the mural. This plan was in the talks with him from early 2021 and he really helped us turn our vision into reality.

The students who helped in the design, initiation and production process of the mural included Nerasha, Buthmini, Kelly, Bella, Koko and Kayla. I would also like to thank the teachers leading the student voice team, Ms Caitlin Turnely, Mr Daniel Portelli and Ms Tanya Lane for their support along the way and assistant principal Daniel Mc Ferran and staff Paul Leeder and Amanda Lock for their help with the installation of the mural.

Finally, I would like to thank Ms Monica Garcia Ives (Acting Leading Teacher: Community Engagement) alongside Binusha Pathirana the initiators of the project for their endless hours of dedication towards helping create the mural. Especially Ms. Garcia Ives who dedicated her own time to organising all the staff and students involved with the project and for her back to back communication to get the project going.

Who is Sebastian Franz?

An extremely talented mural artist whose previous work involves graffiti and streetstyle designs, colourful and large murals painted in various locations in the City ofBrimbank. He has previously worked with other artists and the youth of Brimbankthrough Brimbank Youth Services. Sebastian has also held various art workshopsfor the youth of Melton and Brimbank to together create collaborative artworks.He has over 10 years experience working with Victorian youth driven organisationsand in partnership with councils for mural projects.

My Beautiful Mind

By Haylee L. Bissett

The mind is complex like the Cheshire’s trickery and deep dark rabbit holes,

From one to another, They are all different, Morphing and ever-changing like the butterfly with its wondrous wings; But once was the humble caterpillar walking its way.

My mind as full and equal to the person next to me,

My mind as vast as a library, Full of thoughts, dreams, and knowledge as the person next to me.

But why did someone have to put clouds in front of my mind?

Since when did someone sayMy mind was inferior…? Well sir, you’ve had me underrated, Walk a mile in my shoes, I dare you, It will be an experience you’ll never forget.

Let’s see if you like the thick fog they place over people like me,

Let’s see if you can handle my beautiful mind, Get lost in the wooden and clay bookshelves, Get lost in the stories I tell, Don’t just scratch the surface, Why can’t you read in between these lines?

See that these thunder clouds are less scary as they seem,

See that I’m less scary as they believe me to be, Let the unknown rain down on you, And immerse yourself in the pitch-black waters.

Let the unknown be answered, As I heal from your ignorant words.

Don’t you get that your wordsDrip, drip, drip

Into my soul like rain from these thunder clouds.

But these words have eventually made me, Grow, grow, grow.

From the seedling I once was to the graceful willow tree I’m becoming.

I stand rooted against this stormy weather.

I stand tall and in pride as I walk in this crossfire.

Look up to the sky as I try to understand this different world.

Fall in love with another world

As I try to clear my mind.

I write this to attempt to unwind from the cruel world

And heal from your cruel words. Your words may have broken my branches, but you will never break my soul

by Lily Nguyen

Interview with Brimbank Mayor Cr Jasmine Nguyen

What do you love most about being at Brimbank and the community?

I love the Brimbank community the most. I think what’s special about our community is that you can be who you are. We’re all pretty down to earth, but in other places that are a bit more fancy, you have to put on a mask. Here, it doesn’t really matter whether you are middle-class, rich, or have a low socioeconomic background. We are pretty progressive as a community as a whole because we have people from different cultural and religious backgrounds and other groups, such as our queer communities. We’re not the green union type of progressive, but, in terms of nature, we are progressive in the sense that we love sustainability. We love innovation. We love celebrating other people’s cultures. The main thing to say is that people in Brimbank feel comfortable with just being who they are.

The top thing is empowering our young people because there is a lot of youth disengagement in terms of high youth unemployment rate. At the peak of the pandemic, we had the highest youth unemployment rate of any Victorian local government area - it was about 19%. The state average at the time was about 15%, which was crazy! I want young people in Brimbank to feel like they matter.

Another thing I wanted to make a change in is our community’s mental health. Mental health is traditionally seen as a thing where you only go to seek help when it’s in a really bad state or it’s on an extreme spectrum. There’s all this stigma, especially in a community such as ours, which has so many backgrounds. Some communities are more advanced in terms of mental health acceptance, whereas some are not - it can still be challenging to have conversations about mental health.

What inspired me to run for Council was the fact that we had so many underlying issues and challenges in Brimbank that still need to be resolved, particularly for young people and multicultural communities. When I ran for Council in 2020, I had a lot of friends who were feeling very uncertain about their future and it really affected their mental health. Also, there was harmful rhetoric in the media and general society about our Brimbank community, such as “Of course you guys have postcode lockdowns because you guys are ethnic, you don’t follow the rules - blah blah blah.” There was no cultural sensitivity, especially in terms of COVID communications and working with community groups to address the whole pandemic.

When I looked at the Council at the time, I felt it was lacking diversity. I’m glad that the Council believes in young people as seen by the fact that we have a young Mayor who is also a woman of colour. It’s quite challenging for women of colour to be in leadership positions, especially in fields such as politics where it can be very exclusive.

The third thing is sustainability. Sustainability is not just about ‘greening’ Brimbank and taking climate action. It’s also about ensuring a thriving and beautiful community for the future generations. The decisions that we make today as young people will determine the effects on the climate in the future.

I feel like a lot of people have misconceptions about who a Mayor should be. They think it should be someone who’s old with decades of work experience and polished accents. Someone who dominates and is white and male. When I walk into rooms, many - especially if they don’t do any research - don’t expect me to be the Mayor. However, most have been very positive in how they receive me and I think it’s refreshing.

Jasmine Nguyen is Mayor of Brimbank City Council and was elected in November 2021. The Bold Source team invited Jasmine for an interview to learn more about what it’s like being Brimbank’s youngest and first Vietnamese-Australian Mayor. This interview was held in April 2022.

What inspired you or motivated you to become mayor?

What community issues do you want to address in your role as Mayor?

What is it like being a young Mayor? Have you faced any challenges due to your age?

Interview with Brimbank Mayor Cr Jasmine Nguyen

I think that this represents a change for the community and the great thing about being young is that people love the enthusiasm, energy and optimism for a better future. We don’t have to do things the same way just because that’s how things have always been done. However, sometimes it’s hard for people to have that open-mindedness. When I say my point of view, someone will say “She’s being disrespectful. What would she know? She’s so naive.” I feel that for me to be taken seriously, I have to be across the research much more.

It’s like a model minority, where you have to be at the top to be taken as seriously as another person. When being bisexual, Australian and a woman of color, they expect that you should fit in that stereotype of being a submissive, young, Asian female. Some people are taken aback when I stand up for the community and say my thoughts. I think you just have to say what you have to say, because if you don’t, then who else is going to say it? Just being in this role makes a big difference because representation helps others see what is possible. Hopefully that will encourage more young people to step up.

How would you define self-care?

Self-care is something that I’m still working on.

Growing up, I always tried to be the good girl. In Asian cultures, this means showing respect to your elders. Yet, for some reason, it’s often putting other people’s needs above yours and I feel this also comes across through my role as a Mayor. I always try to put myself out there for the community. But it can come to a point where it’s going to hurt me and cause me to burn out if I don’t make time for myself. What I’m learning about self-care is: what does it mean to listen to yourself? I think self-care really means to be there for yourself and to let your own thoughts come out.

But it raises the question: how do I take care of myself? Overall, I think for self-care, you have to know who you are as a person. When we’re trying to get through the day, we don’t even give ourselves time to discover ourselves. Many people say “You need to love yourself”, but how are you supposed to love yourself if you don’t know who you are? Self-discovery starts with little things, like “what colour do I like?” or “what makes me happy?”

What does happiness mean for me? What is success? Unfortunately people tend to confuse happiness with success. Once again, this is a cultural norm of society. I feel this is a reason why many people are feeling unmotivated and unsatisfied with their lives. But if we take the time to self-care and get to know ourselves, and we think - “I know this and this about me. And I know that I like this,” then maybe we get to a point of self-acceptance and self-love.

When you have many meetings, deadlines, and tasks, it can feel overwhelming. But again, if you know yourself, what you care about and what your values are, it’s easier to put yourself first by saying, “I’m going to

prioritise what I want to prioritise because this is what I care about the most.” It’s about where we put in the time to think about what life we want to live.

This may mean acknowledging that when you say yes to one thing, it means you’re saying no to another. And, if you’re the person who finds it hard to say no, then it goes back to that concept that sometimes saying no to others is giving a yes to yourself. It’s giving priority to yourself.

I guess you have to understand what you care about the most, your values. And that goes back to self-care. If you don’t know yourself, you need to take the time to do that, because self-awareness is essential for you to figure out what is the most important thing for you to do. Cause if you don’t do that and you just go through your day, you’re gonna feel like what I felt, “What have I achieved? I feel worthless.” But if you know what you care about and you know that you’re prioritising doing things that contribute to what you care about, your purpose, then you’ll feel so much better about yourself. That will empower you to say no to things and say yes to yourself. I know that I’m in Council, I want to help young people, multicultural communities and advance mental health and sustainability. And I’m talking to The Bold Source today, some things are non-negotiable. I think it’s coming to realise you can’t please everyone. So why not focus on pleasing yourself first?

I would say, journaling, because it is a great way to incorporate mindfulness in your life. When you are journaling - it’s just you and your thoughts. We usually get really distracted when we’re consuming, consuming, consuming things. When I do journal, I learn things about myself. The knowledge that you’re seeking for is actually inside you and it helps you focus. You feel so much better about yourself when you’re journaling and listening to yourself.

Another step for self-care is - oh my, I’m not the best self-care person! ‘Cause I can tell you, I’m still working on it. But I think it’s a matter of self maintenance. Like just having a simple skin skincare routine, small little things like that. It just makes me feel better about myself. I think I feel good when I feel like I look good. I know that’s superficial, but that’s just for me, I feel good when I look good.

The third self-care tip is just giving yourself time. The two other tips contribute to this third tip because you can’t do these other things in self-care if you’re not giving yourself the time just for you.

How do you take care of yourself and ensure that you don’t feel overwhelmed when you have a lot of meetings, deadlines and tasks that you need to complete?

What are the top 3 self-care tips that you would give to young people?

Where do you go when you need advice?

There are different types of people who process and communicate things in different ways. Some people don’t like to talk about how they’re feeling, whereas I’m the type of person who goes to my friends and I talk and process things out loud. It’s really hard for me to bottle things up.

I go to someone who’s a good listener, who’s not going to judge me because sometimes, it’s not about the answers that I’m seeking, I just need someone to listen.

But, at the end of the day, there are times where you can’t go to other people to get advice, like it’s 1 AM where you might feel like only you might be in this position. It’s important to know that when things go hard, no matter what, you always have yourself.

I think we need to be kinder to ourselves and also value ourselves as the person who can also give advice. We have the ability to figure things out. Sometimes, we have self-esteem issues; we feel as though we’re not good enough: We can’t do it. But if we shift this and instead ask ourselves, “If I can’t do it, who else will?” then at least we know we can count on ourselves, which I feel is more empowering. We don’t always need to go to someone else, sometimes the advice lies within yourself.

The other day, I was listening to a podcast that spoke about how the simple act of giving yourself a high five in the mirror every day makes a huge difference! It may sound weird, but the concept is that you’re telling yourself no matter what, you still have yourself and you’ve got this! Even if no one in the world is there to support you, you have yourself always. We need to remember that we can control our perspective, even if we can’t control the things external to us.

One thing that I am struggling with is that I find it hard to say no to others. There’s a part of me that wants to get along with people and help others. But then I also don’t like that part about myself because I’m not putting myself first. I’m giving time to others, but not enough time to myself. So I have these two parts: the part of me that says yes to others is trying to protect me from the fear of condemnation for not saying yes to someone. So I think it’s good to show self-compassion, and to understand that some things that you do are to protect yourself. However, also acknowledge that of these two parts, you need to decide which is the better way to handle things.

I think that when we try to change our behaviour, we sometimes don’t address the core issue. Some people say “This year, I’m going to get enough sleep by sleeping at 9:00 PM”. They try to change their habits, but then go back to sleep at 12:00 AM. If you don’t address the core issue of why you’re doing thismaybe it’s because of anxiety or that you overthink at night - then you’re going to revert back to the original habit. That’s why you start with self-acceptance and try to work on self-compassion.

What future do you envision for young people in the Brimbank community?

I want young people in our community to feel like they matter. I want young people to be proud of themselves because for so long, there is a bit of a narrative out there that young people are disrespectful, selfish or lazy. We all have experiences we can bring, no matter how long we’ve been on this earth. Yes, you can have bad experiences, and I think young people can sometimes disvalue themselves for the value that they actually bring. I would love to see more young people in leadership positions and taking the lead. I would love to see our community empowering young people to do what they want to do, be what they want to be. Why do we keep telling young people that they need to be a certain way? Why can’t we just let young people figure it out for themselves?

I think it’s about the simple steps. Before we can accept ourselves, what do you even know about what you’re accepting about yourself? You need to go through the act of just self-discovery: who are you as a human being? What are your likes and dislikes? You don’t have to clearly think “I hate that, or I love that about myself,” but just self-discover first, and then the next part of that is accepting the things that you like or dislike about yourself.

Have a list of what you love about yourself now. Sometimes it’s really hard to go over our past and think about what we love about ourselves, so at least think: what do I like about myself? Then, think about the things that you don’t like about yourself - is this something that you want to change or work on? Be critical about yourself, but also show some compassion to yourself.

Our society conditions young people to be a particular way, because we try to condition people to be productive. It’s no wonder that a lot of people feel lost and that they feel like we’re not giving them the space, time, resources and energy to self-discover. Self-discovery leads to self-care and self-acceptance. Our parents tell us, be a doctor, a lawyer or blah blah blah because it gives security and everything. But what I’m learning is that if you let a young person follow their dreams and interests, it will naturally lead that young person to thrive in a space where they’re meant to be.

We usually describe healing as finding peace and acceptance within yourself in order to grow. What advice would you give to young people?

The feeling of

It will getbetter you say

BY ANONYMOUS

I can barely drag myself out of bed

Or get these thought out of my head

The downfall to which this path has led. Get a grip, your just being stupid.

You deny my real problems but drowned me in lies of Santa and Cupid

My body hurts and my mind is polluted. It will get better soon, right?

I bet that’s your favourite quote to cite Let me tell you, it hasn’t gotten better, not even slight.

Anatomy of a Leaf

by Lani & Shani

What did those letters say?

At first, I didn’t know and I didn’t care. They were just leaves. The greater problem was me. My mind was a frenzied maelstromthere were no dreams, no hope, no smiles: only fear and anxiety chasing each other in a relentless game of tag. It didn’t help that everyone else was also caught up in their own cacophony of fear.

A virulent winter had capsized our world and everyone was so frantically trying to stay afloat, they hadn’t realised that I was already drowning.

Have I failed my classes? Why haven’t my tutors - or parentstalked about my grades yet? Am I wearing my mask right? Did I bring sanitiser today? Oh no! I haven’t started that lab report - the anatomy test is comingeverything’s due so soon! I still need to–Crunch, crunch.

Every winter day was the same. I’d dash to campus, my face haphazardly tucked into my scarf as I crushed those papery bodies beneath my boots. Crunch, crunch. My heart pounded with the same irregular rhythm of my rushsteps, yet, oddly enough, time always moved so slowly. There was a peculiar sense that the hours and days were bleeding into each other, giving more time to indulge my fears. Crunch, crunch.

But even if I start my lab report now, I’ll fail anyway. The anatomy test seems harder, maybe I should start that instead. But then, I really need to write that report…

There were always so many things to do, but my mind flickered between garbling panic and paralytic uncertainty. Today’s cold trudge home was no different as I fretted over my future. Crunch, crunch. Mama was worried about me. She said I needed to take care of myself and stop worrying. Crunch, crunch. She said I needed to find happiness in the little things, to heal from the fear and know that hope always – CRUNCH! A shrill crunch pierced my thoughts. Startled, I looked down. A leaf.

Blinking slowly, I pulled the leaf off my boot sole to examine the culprit of the shrill crunch. The leaf was half-shrivelled, possessing a dull, wintergreen tint that reminded me of flaking fence paint. Even its surface ridges looked dull and the miniscule bumps across the leafblade gave it an almost swarthy complexion. Absent-mindedly, I flipped the leaf around to see that the backside ridges were

Winter leaves

Love letters from trees Walk to school with me

more prominent. I held it up to the sunlight, and now the ridges resembled the pale traceries of human veins, the miniscule bumps like green papules.

Sweat prickled my fingers as the absentminded anatomical comparisons conjured the memory of the anatomy test. My chest started heaving with a wrenching need for air. A cold wind closed in. I could feel – find happiness in the little things. Oh, yes, Mama’s right - why don’t I find fun in something so little?

In anatomy, the first thing to remember is that every tiny detail serves a role and tells a story: here, the leaf’s veins look like wandering letters, a soft ‘s’ here, and a winding ‘g’ there. The so-called papules now looked like miniature ink flecks splattered across a green canvas. Delighted, I twirled the leaf around and started musing about who was the recipient of each leaf-letter: perhaps the ruffled birds perching on trees? Or the bumbling bees buzzing busily away? Or even the marigold sun that shines - oh. Realisation struck: regardless of who was the intended recipient, the leaf had fallen away, withered, crushed and shrunken before reaching its destination.

Dejected, I dropped the leaf, watching it drift forlornly to the ground. Ironically, the leaf reminded me of me, withered and shrunken away from the weight of my worries, never reaching fulfilment. No one would ever read those wispy little letters, except for… me. Another realisation dawned: what if I was the intended recipient? What if the soft ‘s’ and winding ‘g’ were messages - “stay in there” or “you’ve got this”? Brightening up, I recalled Mama’s mantra: hope always follows fear. I need to take a deep breath in, take care of myself and unwind from the fear.

I was always so caught up in the future, I never stopped to appreciate and heal with the present. Right now, the sky was a soft blue palette, framing the world in gold and green. The tasselled, fallen leaves all wrote of hope.

Once the winter snow thaws

Spring comes anew

Once the elder leaves fall New buds break through

Selfish to something there to heal

By Neerja

I sit outside and admire the beauty around me, Wonder if this beauty would remain forever, Emerald green, ruby red, sapphire blue, amber yellow, infinite colours that the future generations would have gotten to see, Crunch, rumbling… buzz? Oh, I see a bee, Bees glide along the palpable, gentle air; fulfilling their duties, feeding their homes and ours.

Look around even when it rains, the world is filled with beauty and glee, When alone or in despair, there are welcoming smiles everywhere, As you walk there are the comforting arms of trees, The blanket of clouds, they are there for you at your peak or fall, Nature isn’t selfish, but aren’t we? The fragrance of the flowers Those that we give on special days, The glistening sky, We get to see each day, The flowy water, That drenches our thirst, The luminous stars, Which light up the dark, The succulent fruit, Which feeds us full

What have we given in return?

Healing is not always “up”

One moment things are looking “up” but within a blink of an eye you can’t sleep, your mind is breaking, your own mind is attacking you with intrusive thoughts, unnecessary urges and the list goes on.

What even is “up”? Everyone tells you “things will get better”, but when when will I stop ruining myself? When will I not be afraid of my own mind? My mind is like a maze I don’t even know the right path to.

It’s not like I don’t want to get better but that there is somewhat a comfort in the tears rolling down my cheeks every night, grasping onto emotion, any emotion before it turns numbness again.

When “things are looking up” it is easy to lie to yourself, to people close to you. You tell them that you’re feeling healthier and your mind is more positive, you tell yourself really.

But then reality sets in, the moment your mind catches you slipping away from the death grip it strangles you with it pushes you deeper into the dark abyss you can now call home.

Learning to live with the pain is not getting better, dealing with the pain and feeling what is necessary is a healing process.

It may not work for many times and that just pushes me away from the idea of ever having a free mind, or at least in the near future.

People dare to tell you the damage you are giving yourself for the future in belief it hasn’t been in my every thought, they are just trying to scare you into recovery. However, the future is not my focus right now. I am fighting in the moment and learning as I go.

Life is a chessboard everyone’s a pawn Lectured to my nerves, day to dawn Heir is my role alone Facades, rules, and arsenals are drawn Cameras wait, ravenous for my poker face to get blown

More quotes lick my ears when I play Mentally analyzing each one; “each a possibility,” I say Strenuous needed climb during the play of night But effortless fall by the decree “Child,” I could hear them say, “hold your crown tight.”

The cold, intimidating business tycoon they deem Power in my hand made to gleam Pressure walling me up leaving no air to breathe Thoughts more scattered as they seem Weapons at my disposal are sheathe Persistence yields courage Deep breathe, swallow down any remorse and rage Need to lift myself up cause no one will Don’t engage Not going down was my prey enjoying the thrill

Last time I was just me and me alone When tranced with deep slumber of lone Agony and oblivion is my script To the outside only emotionless is shown Eternally, both personal and public I’m ripped

By Anoushka Chityala

Not signing a pile of files, but playing a day as a game Twisting to my flame Letting serious salt slide and sprinkle some playful pepper instead Washing my hands clean of sweat and lame Not letting anyone rule me, present or dead

Stretch my muscles loosen them up Starting with a coffee full cup Show myself a lion prowl Call my mate, and I say, “what’s up.”

Hang the superior palisade and play without drawing a foul

Make time for just me and me alone Drowning myself in brilliance of my own Talk positive and walk negative away Paparazzi like think I’m ruthless till bare bone But I think mysterious, and gray

Love Letter to Summer

The next few pages feature written and art pieces that have won and been acknowledged as highly commended by the Brimbank Libraries Love Letters to Summer competition held in January-February 2022. The competition was judged by The Bold Source editors.

Heatwave

The crisp smell of the ocean drifts through the soft warm breeze, you tingle at the touch of it. Continuing your journey down the beach, kind of cringing at the salty, fishy scent.

Seagulls glide throughout the eye blue coloured sky, past the unpigmented featherlike clouds of the summer, moving ever so slightly to avoid getting hit by the tree branches.

Tree branches collide gently, the leaves tingling and clapping together in the wind. A few birds start to chirp leaving a whistle to your ears, beautifully syncing with the chimes of the leaves.

By Belinda Nguyen

A few seashells glisten lightly though the thick layers of sand, right on the seashore. Crunching under your sandals making a slight breaking sound before you notice.

The foggy blue sea water blends with the golden sand, creating a beautiful gradient between them, but you admire the waves clash together so elegantly, fading soon after, for new ones to repeat the previous movements as you continue to walk on the crisp sand.

Thick wet boards of the pier, creak and wobble at the sudden movements of people walking and jumping on the rather unstable wood. A small caterpillar makes its way up the pier getting stepped on underneath a sandal, getting left there unnoticed but dead.

The scorching hot sunrays beam onto the golden-brown sand heating it, making it sore to step on whilst a seagull flies down onto the ground, pecking at clams eventually cracking them open, letting a fishy scent escape between the shells, giving the air a smell before it takes the insides and eats it.

Love Letters to Summer

By Elaine Le

By Ruby Downing

Love Letters to Summer

3/01/22

9/01/22

Dear Summer,

It is that season of the year again! When you arrive in the last month of the year and depart at the end of February. I am so happy you are here!

You are the Sunshine of the year where we wait eagerly to feel the temperatures climb up. On every occasion you come to visit, you create warmth and happy smiles all around. We always celebrate your arrival by having the longest holiday break! Why which better season to relax away from work and home than when you come! The sunlight peaks out through the windows early in the morning and stays until the late hours of the day.

Xxxxx

Dear Summer,

Today the place was so hot! So hot that no amountof Zooper Doopers could relieve our parched throatsor any of us could step out to any premise withoutthe whoosh of the air conditioner.

Not to mention that there has been a smallbreakout of bush fires as a result of the heat youcaused! I am utterly disappointed that this hashappened! Remember two years ago our countryhad to call you “black summer” because of thestifling heat! We lost so much of our native animalsand wildlife. The anguish we all felt as a nation wasswirling deep into our guts. Did you know that?

Xxxxx

20/02/22

Dear Summer,

2/02/22

Dear Summer,

I wanted to apologise about my last message. I understand that it was not your fault the temperatures rose, that the carbon emissions create havoc over your control on the heat.

Your time is up soon. We had an amazing time with you. I loved the sleep-ins, the fun beach adventures with my family and the smoky smell trailing from the BBQ. Let me tell you a secret, I definitely think you’re the best season when it comes to weather! Sunshine’s everywhere! Soon, Autumn will greet us, and we will miss you very much. I hope you greet the other countries just as well! We love you, Summer.

Every season has a different personality and I am sure you are quite aware of it. Your brother Winter is the exact opposite of you! He lacks warmth and makes icy remarks practically every day! However, whenever he comes, he provides us hot chocolates when we can’t feel our hands and carefully sprinkles beautiful white snow on our soaring mountains! Autumn is always gleeful. She always comes to magically change our leaves to the most beautiful colours. You should really see the vivid orange the leaves transform into as they get ready to fall from the trees. Spring is two faced I reckon. He makes pretty flowers bloom and gives us warmth but not sweltering hot. The only and worst thing he brings with? Hay fever. All you can hear and see in classes during that season are sniffles and red eyes haha.

Xxxxx

Love Letters to Summer

By Trung Nguyen

Sunday Vibes

By Grace Campbell

The crisp salty breeze floats through the air currents. The sky is pink and blue, giving the dry sand a purple tinge. And as the sun rises slowly, the fragrance of morning wafts through the air.

Early wakers start cars noisily on their way to work. The sound of a busy highway echoes around the beach.

Waves collide soundlessly with the sandy sea shore and the birds start their musical calls to each other. The air twists so slightly it’s barely noticeable as the morning gust becomes even more humid. To the right of the shore plastic bags and bottles are plucked from orange dunes by morning walkers.

The food trucks shudder to life as the first customers arrive with high hopes for sweet snacks and refreshing drinks. Chatter flows throughout the cafe like ripples in cool water.

The smell of hot, toasty scones and coffee spiral and twist gently with the breeze, and the leaves on the trees give shaky waves to passers-by. Beautiful small butterflies in pastel shades fly elegantly to the flowers, settling in the daisies and dandelions.

The cool wind picks up strands of hair atop tourists’ heads and waving it around playfully.

But the heat is growing little by little and the beads of sweat running down runners’ backs become more frequent by the minute.

Morning turns into afternoon and the sun beats down harshly on the unfortunate townspeople.

The pink and purple clouds suddenly blacken, and a gust of humid wind and leaves howls around the beach. A damp, dusty smell fills everyone’s lungs. Trees thrash violently, uprooting bushes as a storm rolls in onto the shore.

The frothy white waves punch and kick the sand violently, and the small particles of shell float up into the eyes of the people.

Afternoon turns into evening as the storm settles and the sea calms. The hot night covers the sky with blackness and stars like a soft, soft blanket. There is no noise, there is no movement, there is no feeling.

Then a gust of breeze, cool and calming, twirls through the trees. Then another gust flies through a gap in the foliage, the heat faltering.

The air cools and another day arrives, the morning air the is tiniest bit icy, but refreshing in every way. The burnt sand creates mini-avalanches down the dusty dunes.

Lady-bugs emerge from small holes, slow as the black clouds lighten with the wind. And the beaches are filled once again with happy families gratefully soaking up the sun.

Kids squeal as they peer, open-mouthed at the millions of flavours of ice-cream and milkshakes. And their parents groan as they reluctantly hand over money for sugary desserts.

Sweet, sweet sugar and bitter, bitter coffee’s scent combine with the salty air, and dust is whipped about by the sandy gust.

Branches fly at full speed as the summer breeze fills the air. As puffy clouds float dreamily across a sea-blue sky, everyone leans back to enjoy the best parts of Summer.

Love Letters to Summer

By Remi

The Bold Source Editors

Haylee

“Beneath the makeup and behind the smile, I am just a girl who wishes for the world.”

- Marilyn Monroe

Hi there, I’m Haylee Bissett. I am a 17-year-old autistic editor and writer for The Bold Source. I’m also the joint winner of Brimbank’s Young Citizen of the Year Award - 2022. I love being a part of this magazine because it gives others and myself a safe platform to speak on important topics and to share our ideas, aspirations and triumphs. I also love to simply be creative in my own skin and to spread positivity. Fun facts about myself: I’m a passionate Umbrella Academy fan and my favourite read at the moment is Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur.

Lani

Hi there! I’m Lani, a self-proclaimed book connoisseur and Scrabble enthusiast. I’m so thrilled to be an editor for this magazine because I love being involved with young people and seeing the different stories and perspectives that each person shares. Rather than simply being another magazine that you may pick up on a whim, I hope that The Bold Source will nurture, nourish and sustain a passion for creativity and youth empowerment.

Shani

Hello reader! I’m Shani, your local ‘readaholic’. I binge on books and manga on the weekends (and most weekdays) and consume the morning newspaper as my daily coffee. I am also an avid collector of whimsical words to create word clouds that inspire my writing. I love being involved with The Bold Source because it is more than a magazine. It is a community that celebrates the creativity and stories of young people. I hope you are similarly inspired and captivated by the magic and art nestled within these pages.

Abbey

Hey, I’m Abbey and my love of writing is matched only by my appreciation of music! Watching The Bold Source grow from an idea to what it is today has been a surreal experience and I am proud to be a part of a team which has succeeded in establishing a space for young people to have their voice heard and their talents recognised.

Ysabelle

Hey! I’m Ysabelle, and I’m a 21 year old student studying at RMIT University. I love being an editor for The Bold Source because it gives young people like myself the opportunity to share their experiences. So often young people aren’t given a voice, but it makes me proud that The Bold Source is working hard to provide a platform for young people’s voices through a creative outlet! When I’m not editing for The Bold Source, you can find me with my head in a book, writing my own stories, dancing and listening to music, or playing with my dog.

Neerja

Hello there!My name is Neerja, I am a 16-year-old editor for The Bold Source! The beauty of the outlooks, views, values, and adroitness that young Brimbankians bring is absolutely incredible to have even a glimpse of. I am absolutely grateful for being a part of an amazing editorial team and being able to provide a platform together for written and visual art of young people to be acknowledged where we are able to learn from each other and from the wealth of experiences each young person of Brimbank brings.

It is absurd to overlook the power of writing, to me it is a voice, a voice that makes the quiet, loud and the loud, quiet.

Rosana

Hi, I’m Rosana, and being part of The Bold Source as an editor has given me a place to try something new, and be able to interact with like minded people. Being able to live is being able to experience new things and meet new people, and making strong relationships gives me a place in the world, and I feel content. I have many aspirations, and I hope I can share them with you, along with a happier world.

Valkyrie

Hi I’m Valkyrie, the “metalhead vocalist/music lover” editor at The Bold Source. As a trans woman myself, I am a big advocate for the LGBTQIA+ & BIPOC rights of youth, mental health issues and giving a voice to those that need to be heard. Being a part of The Bold Source editorial team has truly been an amazing experience, as I have got to hear the stories and experiences of so many young people from all walks of life as well as reigniting my own interest in (entertainment) journalism. It is important to be able to share stories and experiences with others in a way to inspire, tell stories and even let people know their experiences are valid; that they deserve to be heard.

Brimbank City Council acknowledges the traditional custodians of this land, the Wurundjeri people, and pays our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge and celebrate the diversity of our young people.