BROAD Magazine, Issue 86, December 2015: Consumerism

DECEMBER 2015 | ISSUE 86

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MEDIA A-SEXUALITY

NOVEMBER

FOOD

DECEMBER

CONSUMERISM

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LIVING IN COLOR

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December 2015

Issue 86: Consumerism

COLUMNS Sincerely Yours

What This Black Friday Has Taught Me Brittany Reyes

Archives in Action

Looking Beyond the Obvious: Societal Changes Through Photos and Event Programs Nancy Freeman

BAGS

Credit: Nikki Busch

SECTIONS words are useless

(not) buying it

A Measure of Consumption

Rise Avove It Santa Ad Swedish Torys ‘R Us Catalogue

Mary Ellen Croteau

Van Gogh’s Bag

Mary Ellen Croteau

ARTICLES Confessions From the Receiving End of Charity at ChristmasJBB Types of Black Friday Shoppers Monika Gaiser Their Survival Anonymous For Women, the Rout to Power is Only Through Death Jessica B. Burstrem Consuming Yourself Anonymous What a Deaf American Desi Girl Wants this Christmas Lubna Baig This Christmas, Fight For Your Right to Pink A/ Mairead Mac

message me What was one thing you’d always ask Santa for?

What is the hardest part of the holiday season?

screen/play The Nightmare Before Christmas A Charlie Brown Christmas

WLA (re)Animated Mary Ellen Croteau

quote corner

liberation leaders

Albert Camus Noam Chomsky CHuck Palahniuk

search this

broadside

who to follow

Little Green Strips.. A. Mairead Mac Baggage Talyah Puri Flying Talyah Puri Forever Kimani Rose Skin Kimani Rose Gentle Kimani Rose

Karl Marx

aware of how this shooting was not only fatal but pivotal to the city of Chicago.

Column

Sincerely Yours

When You Give a Girl a Column

WHAT THIS BLACK FRIDAY HAS TAUGHT ME

When I flew home to California this past Thanksgiving, several of my family members asked me how I felt about the Laquan McDonald protests. My uncles urged me to not take public transportation, my aunts advised me to stay away from “shady” people and my parents pleaded with me to avoid the situation all together and keep away from future demonstrations.

The more I sit and think about my family’s response to the crime, the more I understand why bystander intervention has become less and less expected. Rather than pushing me to get involved in this movement toward justice, I was told to put my head down and let the police handle it.

Rather than pushing me to get involved in this movement toward justice, I was told to put my head down and let the police handle it.

This holiday season when I return home, I’m planning to talk to my family about more than just who got the best white elephant present during our annual Christmas party. I want to talk to them about things that matter, about lives that matter, about causes that matter.

This time around, I don’t just want to lead the conversation; I want to be a part of the action.

Brittany Reyes

This past Black Friday, there were hundreds of Chicago citizens standing in line not to buy discounted presents but to rally together in solidarity in honor of Laquan McDonald, the 17-year-old African American teenager who was shot and killed by a Chicago police officer.

people just won’t realize the magnitude of peaceful protest because if they don’t make noise, they won’t turn heads.

Protestors closed a stretch of Michigan Avenue on Friday and blocked customers from entering high-end stores during one of the busiest shopping days of the year.

I could only imagine the crowds of pensive shoppers fighting their way through protestors to swoop in on Black Friday deals. It pains me to know that these individuals probably saw these rioting groups as hindrances when their sole goal wasn’t to obstruct their shopping experience; rather, they just wanted them to pay attention by hitting them where it hurts – their wallets.

The demonstrations were generally peaceful and community activist Jedidiah Brown says this is due in part to the fact that the city came together as a united front under the banner of justice.

While I could admit that had I been oblivious to the act of injustice done by police officer Jason Van Dyke, maybe I too would be so inclined to brush these protestors away without a second thought.

In the wake of these recent events, I’ve come to realize that no matter what happens in the news, some

But as someone who has interned at a broadcast news station for the past three months, I’ve become very

quote corner

(not) buying it

NOAM CHOMSKY Changes and progress very rarely are gifts from above. They come out of struggles from below.

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion.

“All over the

place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume.”

The more you can increase fear of drugs and crime, welfare mothers, immigrants and aliens, the more you control all the people.

Rise Above It

Santa Ad: buynothingchristmas.org AdBusters, a non-for-profit magazine based in Vancouver, developed this image for its Buy Nothing Day. From November 25-26, the magazine encouraged its readers to buy nothing despite the glaring holiday/Black Friday advertisements and sales broadcasted on television, with an image of Santa Claus meditating and promoting a new hashtag: #occupyxmas.

• The hashtag didn’t go viral, but if AdBusters had advertised itself on a wider scale and paid for a couple ads itself to get this slogan trending, do you think more people would have paid attention and listened? Would AdBusters have gone against its beliefs if it did that?

• Is Santa Claus more than a symbol for consumerism in our current age? Or has his significance been reduced to materialism and greed?

Article | Consumerism

CONFESSIONS FROM THE RECEIVING END OF CHARITYAT CHRISTMAS: STRANGERS ARE BUYING MY SON’S CHRISTMAS GIFTS

JBB

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday because, from an early age, I was excited to see my friends and loved ones open the gifts I had for them. But this year, I have no money for gifts. I have managed to cobble together a few things for my loved ones, so far largely consisting of items that I already had on hand. I also purchased a couple of very inexpensive things on sale and plan to use an Amazon gift card acquired by redeeming points earned on one of my credit cards over the last several years to buy a couple more. Still, I deeply feel my inability to give much this year. I know how I will feel when it comes time to open gifts on Christmas Day.

Last year, I actually dreaded that moment that normally I would have eagerly anticipated. I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes at how little I was able to put under the tree. I cried again when I saw what others nonetheless gave me -- usually, help with the things that I am unable to do myself right now. A couple weeks ago I got a $25 gift card from a program affiliated with the Department of Social Services to use toward Thanksgiving food purchases. In a week or so, my son and I will go pick up some Christmas gifts that a church has collected for him. My son has, on many occasions, volunteered with his Boy Scout troop at that same church to distribute bags of food for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

This year, we will receive their charity ourselves.

Probing carefully how I feel about this, there is sadness, shame, and a sense of not deserving this assistance. We can guess, of course, where those feelings are coming from. We, as a society, tend to idealize the notion of independence, which is a fiction, of course. Anyone who benefits in any way from civilization -- by way of police, fire fighters, clean water, sewers, trash pickup, grocery stores, farmer’s markets, home builders, postal service, Internet, telephone, television, health care, etc.

-- can never truly be independent. And even if you went completely off-grid, building your own home, growing your own food, and all of that -- we still all share the same air. We can never be independent of one another, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we will be able to solve so many problems.

I know this. And yet still, I feel undeserving and shameful.

How many families might have children who need charity more than mine, after all? If I were doing better for him, isn’t there someone else who could get this help instead? Is there a limit to charity, then the help that we are getting is taking away from someone else.

We can never be independent of one another, and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we will be able to solve so many problems.

I also feel that I should not be in this position, probably because I have bought into those stereotypes about the needy as well. I am well educated and intelligent and otherwise privileged. I am not significantly disabled or burdened or fighting with addiction. I have no good excuse, I feel. As a society, we are in a hurry to judge others as to whether they deserve help when they, like everyone else, make mistakes, or come upon hard times.

What we need to do is recognize that hard times can happen to everyone -- educated or uneducated, healthy or sick, gifted or challenged, queer or straight, trans or cis, married or single, young or old, and of all colors and creeds.

And I feel guilty for even having these feelings. I should be humble and grateful and nothing else, I feel.

Shame and sadness are signs of pride that I don’t think I should have. I should feel joyful that my my son still gets gifts this Christmas. I should feel joyful that there are generous people out there who give to others as they are to us. And while I do feel that way -- I really do -- my feelings are more complicated than that.

And in this too I would bet that I am not special.

I would bet that this is how a lot of us feel in this kind of situation.

BROADside

Little Green Strips A. MAIREAD MAC

One strip of paper, The size of your hand With numbers stamped in viridian And portraits of once-regal men Whose thrones are now tombs A grinded-up piece of bark Chopped and sanded and dyed and printed on conveyor belts Born to rule countries To save lives To incite wars To explore the unknown To make us cower before it like the feeble woodchips we are Three hundred years and you’d think we’d realize Just how much we handed over To these little green strips What was sheared tree dandruff, is Now smeared in green pyramids, eyeballs, eagles, and Latin Do we even know Latin?

We wonder, Most High Vert Conquistadors, With your tissue-paper weight, no larger than an infant, How mighty you really are, What you’re really made of, When you’re as easy to tear as a piece of tissue paper?

What kind of conquistador Falls With a rip?

Perhaps there is a difference Between a little green strip and a baby One spends years conquering the other But the other can vanquish the one In a second

Article | Consumerism

TYPES OF BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPERS Monika Gaiser

Having partaken in Black Friday sales since I was in middle school, I’ve always marveled at the kinds of situations and people I’ve run into during the holiday shopping season. Let me tell you, holiday shopping is no joke. It. Is. A. Battlefield. My gift to you, dear reader, is to divulge to you some of the wisdom I have acquired over the years, so that you may come out of this holiday season alive. Listed are some basic profiles of people I’ve come across during Black Friday and holiday sales, and some tips on how to outwit them. This list is by no means exhaustive, but I hope it may be helpful to you on your shopping mission. Follow my advice, young grasshopper, and you too, may become a Great Master of Black Friday Shopping.

THE GRANDPARENT Characteristics

Actually, these are the nicest shoppers you’ll run into, because unlike younger folks, chances are they’re not going to push you over to get to that blender you’ve been scoping out in the advertisements. They’re mostly there for grandkids’ gifts, or serving as supporting field agents, serving as placeholders in lines, or grabbing less sought-after targets, like baby clothes.

Things to Watch for

Here’s the thing about these older folks, they’re nice enough, but because they generally only hit one or two stores in hopes of getting gifts for EVERYONE in their extended family (plus neighbors and co-workers) if you get stuck in line behind them at the cash register it’s going to take forever for them to get rung up, so if you’re in a hurry your best bet is to rely on speed to get to the lines before they do.

THE TEENAGER Characteristics

They may be obnoxious in every other real-life setting, but they’re the BEST people you want to be stuck with if you’re in line. They’re not shopping for anyone else (their parents are doing that for them) and they’re certainly not going to serve as anyone’s place holder in line, plus chances are they’re not rolling in any high amounts of money between their part-time job and school, so they’re not going to go for high-level target items like that T.V. you were checking out. It also means they grab relatively few items, so if you’re behind them in line, they’re not going to take an eternity at the cash register.

Things to Watch for

These are freeloader agents, remember that. Often they won’t serve as anyone’s placeholder, but that doesn’t mean their parents (who WILL serve as their placeholder) won’t accompany them. What this means is if you’re in a long line behind someone with a lot of items, one of these free agents is likely to join them in line with their parent/guardian in front of you and add even MORE items to be bought, meaning more time at the register.

Article | Consumerism

THE PARENT Characteristics

Unfortunately for you, this type is very common, and unfortunately for you, this type is also one of the worst types of people to run into during Black Friday, because they’re unpredictable. They’re more vigorous than their older counterparts, which means they have the strength in them to get to high-level target items quickly and, in worst-case scenarios, can kick your ass in an argument over who got to that vacuum first because they’ve been practicing their I-will-not-take-any-crap skills at home just by dealing with their kids. The problem too is that these are adults with different lives so you can’t always tell what items they’ll go for or what they’ll do to get to those items.

THE FASHIONISTA Things to Watch for

Tiny humans. The thing about being a parent is that you don’t stop being one just because you’re active in the field on Black Friday. Which means you have kids to take care of, kids you can’t always leave at home. Which means tiny landmines in the form of kids ages 3-8 who have all the self-awareness of a rock when it comes to not running into you or tripping you over.

Characteristics

These are generally younger men and women who are there for themselves, and who you’ll run into in the clothes or shoes section. Because they’re solo agents, they don’t usually take up a lot of time at the cashier, and most of them aren’t interested in the high-level target items like electronics or tech. They’re there mostly to be the first to get to the lower-level target items like Under Armor sweaters.

Things to Watch for

These solo agents are like assassins of the night when it comes to sneakiness level. They don’t seem threatening, but they are VICIOUS when it comes to getting the last jacket in their size. So if you’re going into the field aiming for any kind of clothing item (in particular workout clothes or shoes) make sure to watch for these sneaky sneaks grabbing the last pair of boots you wanted. You’re best bet is to know exactly what size you are so that you spend less time trying to find what fits you and more time heading out of that section as quickly as possible and into the cashier’s line.

Article | Consumerism

Things to Watch for

THE PERSON WHO DIDN’T GO TO BLACK FRIDAY Characteristics

Mostly retired agents that have either suffered through enough Black Friday tours to last a lifetime or people that have never bothered going except when they’ve been dragged into a store by an enthusiastic relative or friend.

Probably spent that weekend watching Netflix.

THE OTHER Things to Watch for

Obnoxious judgment and eye rolling as they hold you in contempt for ‘being one of those people’ who shops on Black Friday. Don’t bother trying to convince them of the justice of your cause: you know what great deals you cashed in on, that’s all that matters.

Characteristics

Maybe they just had a job they had to go to, or just didn’t have the money to spend on anything in the first place.

Maybe they don’t have anything and are sleeping under a bridge on some cardboard and blankets. These are the people that either had something else to do, or weren’t fortunate enough to be able to partake in any Black Friday sales even if they wanted to.

Yourself. It’s fine to go Black Friday shopping, and engaging in consumerism doesn’t have to mean excessive purchasing or getting into fights with people (at least, I hope you’re not one of those shoppers, and if you are, God help you). After all, consumerism is an essential part of an economy, and who doesn’t like the feeling of seeing someone’s ecstatic reaction when you nailed that gift exchange? That said, to be giving gifts at all is an immense privilege that not everyone has, and if you’re planning on holiday shopping I encourage you to reflect on the reasons you’re shopping, and the people you don’t see in stores, whether during the holiday season, or during that summer Fourth of July sale. Consumerism may reach a peak during the holidays, but it never ceases to be present, and neither does the person who struggles just to get by. Writing an article does nothing for these people, but if we can all reflect on the things we’re lucky enough to have, maybe we can also start to change the way we view people who have nothing.

Message Me

screen/play

What is the hardest part of the Holiday Season?

Trying to come up with the money to see my family and give gifts.

Not seeing my family .because I always have to work.

“THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS” A true Holiday Season Classic. Now streaming on Netflix and probably somewhere in the ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas lineup.

OVERVIEW: Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloweentown, discovers a new world and a new season when he discovers Christmastown. After Jack plots to kidnap Santa Claus and take Christmas for himself, chaos ensues BROAD Thumbs Up Through the Christmas Lights!

Seriously, if you haven’t seen this movie, you should. It is technically a Christmas movie, but to me, it speaks to the wonder of the holiday season. No matter what you celebrate, if you celebrate anything, this movie is more about appreciating what you have and what you don’t. Its also about believing in something beyond yourself, which is just sappy enough for the Holiday Season.

Having to rush.

Not going home.

Article | Consumerism

Pictured: Fences are made from reeds. They create little neighborhoods. Behind the fences are tukuls (mud huts) made from cow dung and straw. The cow dung becomes hard as rock and mimics cement. Living off the land is how 80% of the South Sudanese live. They have very little manufactured other than their clothes.

”THEIR“ SURVIVAL Words from the Photographer

Above: Plastic is the commodity of choice. It is cheap and can’t be eaten by roaches, mice and termites. The beds are made by stringing plastic along steel bars. The mattresses are foam. Foam is used for most everything that has a cushion. Chairs, mattresses, pillows...

Anonymous

In South Sudan there is very little available, so consumption on any level is minimal. They have truly perfected the art of living off the land, and any type of manufactured goods is a luxury. When you do buy something that has been manufactured in SS, or bring something into the country with you that has been manufactured - you keep everything that can be reused – nothing is thrown away, because you never know when it can come in handy. It is amazing what can be reused.

In general, paper of any kind is scarce. There are no paper towels or paper napkins, and a tablet of paper is expensive and hard to find. For this reason, toilet paper can cost up to $2 a roll and resembles crepe paper. The toilet paper cardboard rolls are always saved; they can come in handy in the future. People use them to keep items in drawers sorted, like q-tips or anything that needs to be organized. Small containers are too expensive and not easy to find.

As you can see, nothing is wasted. Absolutely everything is used, and very little is available. If something comes in a bag, you save the bag. If you brought a box of cereal into the country, you save the box. Boxes are used as plates, dust bin for brooms, you name it! Glass bottles double as rolling pins needed for making chipatis, which they have at most meals. Canned food containers become drinking cups. Oat tins become lanterns by poking holes through the sides and placing a candle inside. Everything has multiple purposes. Also people share what they save amongst their group. Everything is a matter of survival and 'their' – you can’t survive on your own.

Above: There are no toy stores, or toys for that matter. Children play with old tires and rims. They insert plastic water bottles filled with pebbles in between the spokes to add to their excitement. Whatever they find on the street becomes a toy to them

Article | Consumerism

Above: There is no electricity or running water, so the water is carried through the area by mule. Water is usually pumped from a well. People buy water from the driver which is poured into plastic buckets.

Above: Another type of fence used long twigs from trees. A charcoal fire sits in front of the fence. Charcoal is made by hand from any wood they can get their hands on. Food is prepared mainly on charcoal fires.

Above: Learning to write in the dirt, no paper.

Above: Some villages store rain water by building a drain system from dried palm leaves and storing run-off from roofs.

BROADside

Article | Consumerism

Consummate Consumer ANNIE SZOTKOWSKI

Tethered, the discrepant tree adornment is a clove amid uniform, white twinkles bright. She wears the perfume aromatizing baking and gifting, memories yearning to fall from capital charity free to scratch glass.

Her scent commoditized by mistletoe the clove needs no bended knee to claim her taste.

FOR WOMEN, THE ROUTE TO POWER IS ONLY THROUGH DEATH Jessica B. Burstrem

The cover of the December 2015 issue of National Geographic Magazine depicts an image of Jesus’ mother with the headline, “Mary: The Most Powerful Woman in the World.” I was struck by this choice: what does that mean for women alive today, that the most powerful woman in the world has been dead for nearly 2000 years?! If instead a headline read, “The Most Powerful Man in the World,” you can bet that he would be alive at the time.

I did read the cover article, which was informative and interesting and inspired me to further thought.

I do love that a mother – and a Jewish mother at that – is the most powerful woman in the world. There is still too much emphasis on maternity as central to womanhood, and a woman should be able to achieve power in her own right, not just through her husband and/or son(s) anymore. Outside of Protestantism, Mary is often considered an “intercessor with Jesus,” which means that she has significant power of influence – but only, presumably, power by association.

All evidence indicates that mothers have been denigrated for as long as there has been printed English (see Grendel’s mother in Beowulf ). And Jewish mothers are especially criticized. (I would like to see folks remind-

ed to think about Mary when telling a joke about Jewish mothers!) So it is nice to see something countering that.

It’s also nice to see the idea that people do not necessarily have just one mother. In Christianity in general and Roman Catholicism specifically, God is the Father and Mary is often seen as the believer’s mother.

She does not replace one’s “real” mother and father figures – whomever you consider to be your parents, which could include your biological parents, adoptive parents, stepparents, aunts and uncles, grandparents, neighbors, friends, mentors, etc. I think that our society would function so much better in so many ways if we got outside the notion of biology as the primary or only determinant of

The article points out that there’s very little known about the real Mary and because of that we tend to project our values onto her and see her as “the idal woman.”

family, relationship, caring, and responsibility.

The article points out that there is very little known about the real Mary, and because of that, we tend to project our values onto her and see her as “the ideal woman.” But a representation of an idealized mother doesn’t help real mothers in the trenches either. Most mothers have the best of intentions and do a very good job, and yet, are guilt-ridden about everything that they know or think they could have done better for their children. The article goes on to describe Mary as a “universal symbol of maternal love, as well as of suffering and sacrifice.” Really?! This is what it means to be a mother – to suffer and sacrifice? To such an extent, in this case, that you must see your child tortured to death while you are still alive? Why would we ever want to idealize that experience of mothering? Do we want to burden our children with the knowledge that, by mothering them, we had to suffer and sacrifice everything ourselves? Do we want the burden of that awful expectation of what it means to be a mother for our daughters, if they choose to embark upon that path in their lives?

Furthermore, this image of woman as the virginal mother is one that no woman can ever live up to. Even Mary herself wasn’t that woman for long. No woman can be a mother and a virgin at the same time, short of Immaculate Conception. And even though we call her, still, the “Virgin Mary,” she stopped being a virgin after Jesus’ birth. She married Joseph and had other children. Even while we honor her, calling her the Blessed Virgin, we fail to honor her actions. We merely revere her body, as a vessel. She was only valuable while carrying and delivering

Even while we honor her, calling her the Blessed Virgin, we fail to honor her actions. We merely revere her body, as a vessel. this baby. The rest of her life, it seems, is unimportant.

It is through such mental self-deception that we elevate virginity to a ridiculous level- such that, for instance, girls who are raped consider killing themselves because they have been taught that, without their virginity, they are worthless, shameful, and dirty. [If you’re reading this, you’re not! You remain a virgin as long as you consider yourself one, if that is important to you, and whether you retain your virginity or not, you remain a valuable person deserving of respect.]

BROADside

Recharge

ANNIE SZOTKOWSKI

The lineman is a guardian of warmth while greeds deposit coils, tungsten dusted by pocket lint. Snow dims the beacon, flickering hope in the elderly gentlemen’s living room, his rechargeable wheelchair whirs and heaves. But the guardian fights to bring strangers out of the dark, a life they pay for monthly, the 1st thru the thirty-first.

The lineman, a guardian of warmth, keeps blood from freezing into pennies

Likewise, the appellation “Mother Inviolate” is not sex-positive! The implication that sex is a violation basically equates all sex with rape and suggests that women can never desire it and that, again, just by having sex, even within marriage, a woman becomes changed, imperfect, impure, and/or dirty. This is horrible. I hope that you see that without me explaining it further, as there just isn’t space to do it justice here.

So while I learned a few things from this article, I regret National Geographic’s choice to present it the way that they did. In the article they merely reported the facts: how people perceive Mary in different religions and nations around the world. Does that title and cover image likely help sell magazines? Absolutely. Mary brings in a lot of tourism too, as the article itself discusses. But with that title and that cover, they also made an argument with dangerous implications: that in order to be powerful, a woman must first be a mother, suffer, and die.

Where is our resurrection and relief?

WLA ReAnimated

words are useless

Mary Ellen Croteau Caroline Lynd Giannakopoulos Chicago artist Mary Ellen Croteau describes herself as a “radical feminist and artist.” Trained as a sculptor, Croteau uses a variety of media for her work including paint, photography, and installation art. In the early 2000s, Croteau’s work began to reflect a growing concern for the destruction and pollution of the environment caused by consumerism

A Measure of Consumption, 2007 For the series “Bag World,” Croteau used collected plastic bags to create braided rugs, waterfalls, coral reefs, and more to call attention to the amount of plastic that is accumulated and discarded. The first project, A Measure of Consumption, was a braided rope made from the bags she collected over a seven month period.

Branded, 2001 The painting Branded (2001) was created from a composite of actual images, and is part of a collection of Croteau’s paintings that show the effect of advertising and consumerism on American landscapes.

Van Gogh’s Bag, 2007 As part of the “Bag World” series, Croteau painted replicas of classic masterpieces, like this Van Gogh, with plastic bags inserted to remind audiences of the contamination of the environment.

Article | Consumerism

I could better monitor my shifts throughout the day, and the weigh-ins tripled. I was on the scale 5-6 times a day.

There was no worse feeling than the number going up, but there was no better high than the number dropping.

It was the ultimate success story.

CONSUMING YOURSELF Anonymous

I had promised myself I'd lose weight for years, but the summer before my freshman year of high school, I was finally able to put myself to work. I started in August at 135 pounds- technically overweight for someone my age and height. I had looked my BMI up online from several reputable sources. By the end of December, I weighed 103.2 pounds at my lightest and was finally within a normal BMI range. My hard work had finally paid off, and, as the saying goes, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. My routine consisted of an hour of cardio and then a light weights routine for probably 20-30 minutes. At least, that was the average guesstimate I can remember. My eating was clean, and I was careful to keep my portions small. I also had a quick routine of some push-ups and sit-ups in the mornings, before school, that I had incorporated around November. It was the ultimate success story.

I only wished I had done it sooner. It wasn't that hard in the mornings to do a quick workout, since it made me feel refreshed, and I never ate breakfast that early anyways, so it was efficient in terms of weight loss. My school lunches, surprisingly, had some healthy options.

Generally it was a Caesar salad with a little carton of 2% milk. I would usually work out soon after arriving home, because I would get stressed out if I did any homework before then. Not that it was much of a concern; I didn't have any friends, having just entered a new environment while trying to distance myself from the group of people I had been with in middle school: the loser nerds. As such I was able to focus on my homework, and that first semes-

ter I maintained a perfect 4.0. It was the ultimate success story.

My workouts, at their peak, came to two hours total, 30 minutes of jogging minimum. I was extremely self-conscious, so I only ran in circles in my basement, scared of letting anyone outside see me work out. I also didn't have actual workout clothes other than some pairs of cotton shorts and worn t-shirts, since I felt like I wasn't athletic enough to venture into athletic stores and actually get workout clothes. I remember once, after having completed my usual workout, I felt so accomplished and full of energy that I ran again, in jeans so baggy that I had to tie a jump rope around my waist to keep them from falling down. I loved the swishing sound my pants made as I ran, indulging in the roominess I now had in my once tight jeans. I started putting on old jeans that no longer fit me, to make sure they still fit loosely. It was the ultimate success story.

It was difficult at times, I grant you. I usually worked out in my room, and I got extremely irritable when my parents interrupted me. I was so self-conscious I couldn't work out in front of anyone, even my parents.

There was also nothing that ruined my day like when I weighed myself in the morning and the scale told me I was even a pound heavier than the night before. After having had the night to digest everything, without eating anything more, I should have maintained at least the same weight as I had been the night before. Usually I had weigh-ins twice a day, but eventually I felt better if

I started humble-bragging to two friends I had reconnected with from middle school and who I wasn't scared of being seen with in public; they hadn't been part of the loser group in middle school. They were 'normal' and now, with my new body, I was normal too. I could fit in. I wasn't a freak. I was a success.

I didn’t know anything was wrong. My parents were annoying when they piled on the food, and I had to find weird ways to justify my sudden obsession with only eating reduced-fat or low-calorie foods. I started making food all the time. It felt good to watch someone else eat something I couldn't because of the calories. It felt like I was in control: in control of my body, my weight, my grades, my life. When I was hungry I would drink water and wait 30 minutes before eating something like a 60 calorie yoghurt or a piece of toast with honey on it.

I started drinking tea, no sugar. I didn't count calories, exactly, just the numbers on the scale. I got mad at my

I didn’t know anything was wrong. My parents were annoying when they piled on the food and I had to find weird ways to justify my obsession... friend when I showed her my newfound flat stomach and she said "I've seen anorexic girls and they kinda look like you." My watches were too big on my wrists, my size 3/4 jeans (which before my weight loss had been size 12) were now too big on me. I was cold, but I figured that was because it was winter, not because of the low blood sugar I suffered from once my diet became a daily intake of less than 600 calories- less than 500, on a good day.

But I was still within a normal BMI range for my height and age, so there was nothing wrong. The idea of an "eating disorder" never crossed my mind until years later, as a senior in high school, when I realized, with a start, that's exactly what I had.

I won't go into how I got better, but I will tell whoever is reading this that I got better on my own, no treatment. This was pure luck, and the ramifications of the

year after my 6 months of anxiety-ridden hell are scars that still hurt. I went through a period of extreme weight gain, my metabolism having slowed to a crawl after being in starvation mode for months. I was ashamed of how fat I became, longed to go back, but couldn't. Instead I fell into sessions of binge eating. Pies, loads of bread, cheese, frozen dinners, coffee with milk and sugar--everything I had denied myself was now consumed so quickly and in such large quantities that I was left with some of the worst stomach aches of my life. I remember eating an entire pie in the bathroom of the house so no one saw me because of the shame I felt. I still have stretch marks from the immense weight I gained back then. I was now 160 pounds.

What saved me was a high school sport my junior year. I was comfortable around my new friends and fit in.

I re-connected with people from middle school, not for who they were (‘losers’ like me or not) but because I liked them. I lost weight, finally felt good about myself and my new athleticism, and stopped feeling guilty about eating, because I knew it would all be burned away later due to the intense workout of the sport.

I have since grown and learned more about the proper ways to lose weight healthily. I still struggle to be patient with myself, and have days where I can't look at reflective surfaces because I hate my body fat. But the better days outnumber the bad ones. I have a new appreciation for my butt, my shoulders, my hips, my arms. I recently went through a period of weight loss that showed me I could actually accomplish a semblance of abs, and I now can run in public (though working out in a gym is still very difficult for me). I don’t own a scale because fuck that—I’m happier without one.

As a teenager there are a lot of things the mediaand health class, for that matter- don't tell you. Hollywood has done a great job of perpetuating these misconceptions.

Like the fact that a BMI is about as useful a source as Wikipedia is for a dissertation. It's fine as a starting point, but by no means truly indicative of someone's health or ideal weight (in fact many athletes are overweight due to their high muscle mass, if that's any indication of how inaccurate a BMI can be). Or like the fact that people with eating disorders can be any shape and size,

As a teenager there are a lot of things the media – and health class, for that matter – don’t tell you.

and you often can't tell they’re struggling unless you're paying close attention. I always wince when, on TV, I see a stereotypical white girl suffering from what anorexia is "supposed” to look like.

The truth is, it’s not just white women that suffer from this disease. It’s black women, Latina women, Asian women, and not to mention the almost never-discussed category: men. And they're not all "skinny," either. They're every shape and size and color, and they turn to eating disorders for more complex reasons than the ones you see on TV, such as, "oh, someone made fun of my weight, now I have to lose weight.”

The truth is, eating disorders are comlicated. They stem from multiple sources, not just one...

It’s true that some people with eating disorders may be spurred to extremes by bullying—just take a look at Demi Lovato’s story. However, it's naive and damaging to people who may be suffering from eating disorders to portray them all as sufferingbecause of something as simplistic as being picked on for their weight. The truth is, eating disorders are complicated. They stem from multiple sources, not just one, and from sources that may not be as obvious as people think. Social acceptance, a need for control, feeling powerless, anger, anxiety issues, family tension- these were all things that fed into what I went through (pun not intended).

I was lucky my issues didn't spin to a point where I had to be hospitalized, but issues that cause the disorder are still sometimes there, and I wonder about all the other people out there who are going through what I did, people who may not be as lucky as I was to get out of my situation. Holidays are a nightmare for people with eating disorders, and because of the bulky layers everyone’s always wearing to keep warm, it’s easy to hide things like extreme weight loss or weight gain. So if you know or suspect someone of an eating disorder, be vigilant, and be aware. Because no one starts out aiming to have a disorder. You think you’re controlling what you consume, but in the end it consumes you, and sometimes it’s hard to see the line between the two.

And for the record, a lot of things taste better than skinny feels- ice cream, acceptance, being healthy, and most importantly, love.

BROADside

Skin

KIMANI ROSE

You wrote your love letter In my bones It the traces of my skin Deeper than a tattoo.

So I’ll have to scrub hard, To get you out.

You placed your kiss In my heart, Where no one could reach And lit it up Brighter than Christmas I don’t want to wash you away, Or keep you covered.

I want you to shine through every pore Every inch of skin.

I want the world to know how I feel.

But maybe I’m not what I’m seeing, When I see your bright smile, And maybe you don’t feel the same So maybe I should, scrub you out of my skin, Until it’s raw.

(not) buying it

quote corner

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

ALBERT CAMUS

“The truth is that everyone is bored, and devotes [her]self to cultivating habits.”

“Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?”

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

Swedish Toys ‘R Us Catalogue Toys ‘R Us stores in Sweden are opting for a more “gender neutral” approach to advertising their products in advertisements like this one, showing little boys and little girls engaging in domestic-type jobs like vacuuming and ironing- jobs assumed to belong only to housewives. A representative for Toys ‘R Us claims that the store wants to be modern and reflect how children actually play, with other advertisements showing girls playing with Nerf guns and boys styling hair with toy hair-dryers.

• What do you make of the colors of the toys shown in the ads? Specifically, if this Toys ‘R Us ad was really going for gender neutrality, why does the boy still have a blue vacuum, while the girl has a pink one?

• Is color an essential element in gender advertising? Why or why not?

“Time can be bought. Everything can be bought. To be or to become rich is to have time to be happy, if you deserve it…

Everything is for happiness, against the world which surounds us with its violence and its stupidity…All the cruelty of our civilization can be measured by this one axiom: happy nations have no history.”

“I feel like getting married, or committing suicide, or subscribing to L’Illustration.

Something desperate, you know.”

“If absolute truth belongs to anyone in this world, it certainly does not belong to the man or party that claims to possess it.”

“Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.”

“I know simply that the sky will last longer than I.”

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.”

Column

Archives in Action

History, Records, Feminism, and Social Justice

LOOKING BEYOND THE OBVIOUS SOCIETAL CHANGES THROUGH PHOTOS AND EVENT PROGRAMS A piece by Nancy Freeman

As I pondered this month’s BROAD topic of consumerism, I used word association in my slightly ADHD brain to come up with an archival subject for this column.

Consumerism in a December magazine issue immediately brings Christmas to my mind. As a Christian, I rail against the over-consumerism and commercialization of Christmas, although that specific rant does not have much, if anything, to do with archives.

My brain then latched onto Christmas traditions, and I hit pay dirt. I immediately thought of the Candle Lighting ceremony at Mundelein College and quickly realized how records of that event provide insight into societal changes. This column is not about Christmas.

Instead, it’s about looking at photos and programs of a long-running event and analyzing the records to see societal trends and changes over the years.

The Women and Leadership Archives’ (WLA) largest collection is the records of Mundelein College. Founded in 1929 by the Sisters of Charity of the Blessed Virgin Mary (BVMs), Mundelein provided education to women until 1991 when it affiliated with nearby Loyola University Chicago. The Candle Lighting ceremony occurred at Christmastime from 1930-1991, making it a long running Mundelein tradition.

The fundamental meaning and purpose of the tradition remains; how it is carried out often changes, depending on what is happening in the world.

I find traditions fascinating. Though it’s perhaps a tired literary technique, I looked up the definition of the word. Tradition is “an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (as in religious practice or a social custom).” Well said, Merriam-Webster.

A tradition may change or shift over time in conjunction with societal changes. The fundamental meaning and purpose of the tradition remains; how it is carried out often changes, depending on what is happening in the world at large. Nothing occurs in a vacuum.

Mundelein’s Candle Lighting ceremony spanned 60 years, beginning in the first year of classes and ending when the College affiliated with Loyola.

Mundelein’s Candle Lighting ceremony spanned 60 years, beginning in the first year of classes and ending when the College affiliated with Loyola. Photos and programs from the Candle Lighting provide historical snapshots of moments in time and give insight into societal changes. First, I’ll present to you some information about the ceremony and tradition itself, and then, with pictures and programs, take you on a historical journey through those 60 years.

The ceremony involved lighting candles in the windows of Mundelein College to form a nine-story cross, symbolizing the Light of the World. Mundelein College’s main building is on Sheridan Road and lighted windows were sure to be noticed on a major thoroughfare.

Another part of the ceremony included Christmas caroling in a procession led by seniors. Students sang as they moved down through the building by floors. Once on the first floor, participants put wreaths at the main entrance, recited the nativity story, and lit a large school candle at the end of the ceremony.

Programs, photos, and newspaper articles from the Skyscraper (Mundelein’s student newspaper) show changes in the ceremony. The first year did not include the large cross in the windows and only the choir sang in the ceremony. Several years later the candle procession included all students.

Now to the historical journey, noticing dates and subsequent shifts in the ceremony that highlight societal changes and trends. The first Candle Lighting occurred in 1931. There are no photos in the records, only a torn program. Note the College clubs involved.

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History, Records, Feminism, and Social Justice

1931 1936 The earliest photo of the ceremony is from 1936.

Look at those dresses!

1943 Due to WWII, the 1943 ceremony included recognition of the war. Four angel sentinels held scrolls of the names of active and deceased servicemen who were relatives of friends of faculty and students.

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Archives in Action

1966

History, Records, Feminism, and Social Justice

The 1960s were a time of huge change in the world, and one of those milestones is Vatican II. The Second Vatican Council (informally known as Vatican II), occurred from 1962 through 1965 and affected many aspects of the Catholic faith, in addition to reverberating through other faith traditions.

See the link here for more info on Vatican II. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_ Vatican_Council

1957 1957 is a year the WLA has both a photo and a program. Look again at the number and type of student organizations involved.

One major change from Vatican II involved the form and content of Masses, the term for Catholic worship services. Masses now used English rather than Latin and could include different types of music and artwork.

As I previously said, nothing occurs in a vacuum. The 1966 program artwork is quite different from the one in 1957.

In addition, the Candle Lighting ceremony of 1966 included an interpretive dance piece. Both the artwork change and inclusion of interpretive dance in the mass are a direct result of Vatican II changes.

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Archives in Action

History, Records, Feminism, and Social Justice

1991 By 1991, Mundelein experienced financial problems and declining enrollment that led to affiliation with nearby Loyola. One final Candle Lighting Ceremony occurred in December of that year with the theme “A Common Past, A Common Future.”

1972

1989

By 1972, it appears the Candle Lighting Ceremony moved to McCormick Lounge in Coffey Hall, Mundelein’s main dormitory building. McCormick Lounge’s floor to ceiling window faces east to Lake Michigan, and in the photo, the ceremony takes place in front of the window.

One of the last photos of the ceremony is from 1989. This photo shows the ceremony layout in McCormick Lounge. The program again lists student organizations and provides an interesting comparison to previous documents.

The ceremony is clearly more casual in contrast to the beautiful dresses and robed choir formality of earlier years.

Notice the student in her pajamas, robe, and fuzzy slippers.

Message Me

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Archives in Action

History, Records, Feminism, and Social Justice

Documentation of a ceremony or tradition provides fascinating information on everything from fashion to world events. Photos and programs from the long-running Mundelein College Candle Lighting ceremony are historical snapshots, windows in time that provide opportunities to view societal changes. **Wonderful WLA Graduate Assistants Megan Brodewyk, Ellen Bushong, and Caroline Giannakopoulos provided substantive

What was one thing you’d always ask Santa for?

A pony, lol.

research and image assistance on this article.

World peace.

A puppy.

Books!

liberation leaders

BROADside

KARL MARX

Forever

KIMANI ROSE

If I could only keep One memory Forever I wouldn’t pick, My first Christmas, Or that time I got a dog I’d pick, That moment, That you looked into my eyes And they told me forever.

Or maybe I’d pick, The moment, Where your words, Matched, What your eyes Had been saying, For forever, “Forever

Karl Heinrich Marx was born on May 5, 1818, in Prussia. A controversial theorist, Marx is known for fathering many branches of academics in his life, including philosophy, journalism, and history. Perhaps his most radical ideas dealt with economics and the imbalance of power in marketing and labor systems.

Born into a wealthy family, Marx’s private education as a child led him to attend the University of Bonn in Germany in 1835 to pursue his studies of philosophy and literature. While there, he became involved in poetry clubs, radical political groups, and even served as the co-president of the Trier Tavern Club drinking societythe last of which resulted in him being transferred to the more academic University of Berlin due to his shenanigans in the group.

While in Berlin, Marx’s obsession with his studies flourished. He acquired an interest in law and philosophy, even becoming involved with the renowned radical group, the Young Hegelians, who followed and disputed the teachings of German philosopher G.W.F. Hegel. While sharpening his philosophical interests, Marx spent his free time dabbling in the worlds of literature and prose, art history, and classical studies, before being awarded a PhD by professors at the University of Berlin.

With offers pouring in to pursue an academic career with his new degree, Marx found himself contemplating whether to devote his life to teaching/studying or being involved in outspoken radical groups, opting for the latter when, in 1842, he moved to Cologne and

became a journalist for a radical newspaper. It would be the writings he contributed to this newspaper which would deem him an outlaw to the German and French governments, who expelled him from the two countries, prompting Marx to move to Brussels and write about historical materialism in the account for which he’s most well-known, The Communist Manifesto, published in 1848. He became involved with the Communist League, a movement dedicated to improving conditions for the working class, and Marx’s Manifesto laid out the League’s beliefs about the clash between the bourgeoisie (wealthy middle class) and the proletariat (working class).

The Manifesto was the source of many protests, rebellions, and upheavals throughout Europe later that year, with critics and officials citing Marx and the rest of the Communist League as instigators.

Marx’s 1867 work, Das Kapital, focused mainly on his views about economic theory and capitalism, specifically how workers are exploited by capitalists to improve the mode of production. To Marx, the capitalist system of profit by over-production is unstable due to the fact that it cannot ensure that profits will forever be sustained.

To Marx, products made in factories are made for one purpose and one purpose only: to increase profit. The factory heads, in turn, put out more money to buy these commodities, in order to sell them for a higher price to increase their profit. In short, the system is designed to make the bourgeoisie richer and the proletariat poorer.

Marx died in 1843 from a lung abscess, but left a legacy in the world through his thoughts on communism, capitalism, and economic theory. He even has his own school of thought, known as Marxism, a branch of communism. There are a number of communist schools still present today that specialize in Marxist thought and its many sub-branches, such as Structuralist Marxism, Analytical Marxism, and Marxist Sociology.

Article | Consumerism

WHAT A DEAF AMERICAN DESI GIRL WANTS THIS CHRISTMAS TARGETED MARKETING OF DEAF CULTURE Lubna Baig

Consumerism…..consumerism…targeted marketing…. economic inequality…corporate branding….what do I write?

Where do I start? All this is just giving me a writer’s block and a massive migraine. At BROAD, I am infamous for my humor, sarcasm and a satirical take at every single thing; be it politics, consumerism or Miley Cyrus. In short, I try to bring comic relief to this magazine which has otherwise very serious yet eye-opening write-ups- and anyways, this December, in the spirit of Christmas, we all need that joie de vivre in our otherwise hectic/serious lives.

On that note, let me tell you my story. I am a hearing impaired single mom of a beautiful 4-year-old boy. I find beauty in being deaf, in signing and in all things disability. I try to find joy in the little things of life and today I attempt to do the same while writing this article, trying to do nothing but bring joy to your faces. Today I try my hand at “Targeted Marketing of Deaf Culture”. I stand tall and proud of the fact that I am deaf and my story will be something that people will be telling for a long time. Read on, guys… :)

THE STORY

Haider** proposed to me today. I didn’t know what to say. It came as a shock really. Here was a guy that I had known for about 3 years (10, if you count our friendship since high school, but there had been a gap of 7 years…so), and I didn’t have an answer for him. I really didn’t know what to say. Because, I, Lubna Baig, am a hearing-impaired single mom of an active, healthy, 4-year-old boy, who, luckily, did not inherit my deafness.

I won’t go into much details. Given that I am kinda vulnerable, hormonal, and emotional right now (hey! A guy asked me to marry him!), I’d like to be short and straight to the point about my medical history. Yes, I am hearing impaired. I experienced sudden hearing loss in both the ears at the tender age of 11 years. By then, my speech was fully developed so I can talk really well and I don’t sign.

I wear Starkey’s Completely – in – the – Canal / Invisible hearing aid a.k.a CIC hearing aid. I am also an excellent lip reader which is an art that even folks at the FBI and CIA are trained in.

Some people might argue about the need for hearing-impaired folks to be fluent in ASL which is American Sign Language, but hey, I am pro-ASL alright. My medical tragedies happened in the South Asian country of India, in the beautiful city of Hyderabad. I only became a U.S. citizen few years back and discovered that deafness is a culture in itself courtesy of ASL.

Coming to my marital history, it’s the same old story. I was smart until I fell in love. After two years of continuous physical abuse, I’d had enough and walked out of that union I am ashamed to call a marriage, armed with my then two year old son.

So there you go. You got a 25 year old female, divorced, single mom, who is gunning for a great career in the medical sciences. So when Haider proposed to me, I had a lot of thinking to do.

Deaf culture isn’t as rampant in third world countries such as India as it is in superpowers such as the United States and Great Britain. The majority of the deaf in the USA communicate via ASL (American Sign Language), while those in Britain adopt BSL (British Sign Language), so half the world is already judging us. I experienced the disability bias firsthand, in my own marriage. It got to the point where my husband could no longer accept a hearing-impaired person like me as his wife. Point to be noted here, my ex was hearing, I was deaf, partially. And what started with deaf slurs ended up with beatings that resulted in more deafness.

After that disaster of a marriage, my parents tried to set me up with more Indian guys who had zero knowledge and/or awareness about deaf culture. Right, the solution for a broken marriage with an Indian guy, according to them was…wait for it…setting me up with another Indian guy.

Article | Consumerism

This is not to be held against them. It’s not their fault that the government of India is too busy setting up call centers for communicating with the West, rather than creating awareness about deaf culture. I am aware that no two people are alike, and hence, not all Indian guys are going to be dumb jock boys when it comes to my hearing impairment. But let me tell you, majority of them are. I iterate: not all, but, statistically, and in the general sense, most of them are.

DO YA THINK?!!

WIG: Yeah…you can.

Me: GREAT!! YOU FIGURED IT OUT!!

WIG: You guys, like, wear a machine?

Me: You mean a hearing aid?!! Yes, some of us do!

I do!

WIG: Do you take your “machine” off before hav

WIG: YOU GUYS DRIIIVEE?!!!

*Another one who thought deaf people can’t drive!! Smh…*

Now, you see, this is why I had to really think twice regarding Haider’s proposal. Let’s take a hard look at the pros and cons of getting into it with Haider.

I am saying this from personal experience, really.

Let me take you to the most frequently asked questions

by Indian guys, the ones who reside in India, and whom my parents set me up with on a blind date while I was there, in a quest to get me married. Here, you can also see my attempts to “troll” them. After all that has happened, I wasn’t going to just stand there and take shit. I have my self-respect. Neither am I going to be objectified as a girl, nor am I going to tolerate any deaf slurs. On that note, here are some of the “real conversations” that I have had with some of those ignorant Indian guys and their dumb FAQs; I call them wannabe Indian grooms or WIG’s: Wannabe Indian groom: So you can like, talk?

Me (in a loud voice, almost screaming on purpose): WHAT

1) THE HERO SYNDROME:

I am going to start with how Haider and I came about considering the “relationship factor.” It’s the thing popularly known as the “Hero syndrome.” It’s like this, someone comes along when you’re down, such as after a break-up, and just because they are being nice you fall for him/her. That’s just it. Haider was being “nice.” He said so himself, how he liked being there for me, boosting my morale, instilling confidence, and vice versa. I fell for him, thinking he was “my hero.”

ing sex?

Me (is he serious?!!): HUH?!! You don’t have to sit on my ears, you just have to sit on my vag!

WIG: So you guys are like virgins right?

Me: Let’s see, an ex-husband and a baby later…. I AM DEFINITELY NOT A VIRGIN!!

*Good lord! This guy actually thought all deaf people are virgins and don’t know what sex is!! Omfg!!

Can’t believe this fuckery!!*

WIG: So you guys, like, watch movies?

Me (rolling my eyes): Yes

WIG: But you lot still prefer movies with subtitles right?

Me: You say that like it’s a bad thing.

WIG: You guys can, like, dance?

Me: Dance?!! Hell, I can twerk better than Be yonce!! I can also be all up in your kahoonas like Miley Cyrus with Robin Thicke at the 2013 VMAs.

WIG: You guys, like, sing?

Me (starts singing Britney’s “womanizer”): Wom anizer, woman-womanizer, You’re a womanizer, Oh womanizer….

WIG: So how do you like, take care of the baby?

Me: See for yourself…

*As if on cue, my then three-year-old gave that guy a nice swift kick on the butt that sent him reeling, it’s help from the good lord above ;) *

And when it was time to leave….

Me: Excuse me, while I go get my car….

But let’s face it- relationships that happen because of the Hero Syndrome seldom work out. With time, Haider and I will realize that he and I were never meant to be, and breaking up with a long-time friend is harder and more painful than breaking up with someone you just met.

2) THE DESI GUY FACTOR:

Haider was an out and out “Desi” guy. He resided in India for much of his life, whereas I was raised here and hold an American passport. As I stated above; most Desi guys have no clue as to what hearing impairment actually is. There is a big difference between being hearing impaired and being completely deaf. It takes a really open-minded and knowledgeable/understanding person to understand this. Sure, he says he does. Sure, he says no one is perfect and that he “doesn’t care whether I am deaf or blind.” Maybe for the first month he will try to adjust.

But 3 months later, he’ll get tired. Of repeating himself.

Because I didn’t hear him the first few times.

Tell any American/British guy you are hearing impaired, their response is; “Oh Okay ” and then we move on to another topic. Some even ask if you sign or not, and if you don’t, then that’s okay, and then it’s on to other topics. I personally know deaf friends here whose hearing boyfriends have learned ASL just for them (Sweet!).

By contrast, tell a Desi guy you are hearing impaired; their response is NOTHING. They are speechless;

Desi parents’ thinking is way different. Most Desi parents residing in India/Pakistan are very conservative and dominant in their kids’ lives. When it comes to mating, it’s the parents who select the partners for their kids. The kid in question, is consulted last in these matters. It’s a phenomenon popularly known as “arranged marriage.”

For an American guy, introducing a deaf girlfriend to his family is no big deal. But for a Desi guy, it is something that he has to think over a hundred times; even if the deaf girl in question happens to be his wife. While the deaf partner is introduced to immediate family, the disability is hushed up when it comes to other distant relatives or family friends.

In India/Pakistan, joint families are the norm.

Everyone knows everybody. A neighbor actually turns out to be the first cousin of your daughter in law. Majority of the women are homemakers. People aren’t as busy as in the U.S. Here, even if we have a “Brady Bunch” of a family, there’s no real time to socialize with them every other day. There’s yearly Thanksgiving/Christmas Eve dinners, but that’s about it.

But even if they have Uncle Pepe and his quadruplets lounging around in their basements, American guys will simply take your hand and introduce you to them, coolly stating “Yo! That’s my girlfriend and she’s hearing impaired.” Uncle Pepe and his quadruplets shower you with XOXOs and congrats. I rest my case.

4) THE VIRGINITY FACTOR:

It’s really the first for Haider. Be it dating or marriage, I would be his first. I am not a virgin; he is. His lack of experience is typical in a society as conservative as India, and even more so Hyderabad, where I hail from, and which happens to be a predominantly Islamic city that places great importance on virginity. Add Desi parents into this mix; the results are very obvious. Go figure. shocked even.

See what I mean?

An additional point: By American/British; I don’t mean white or black guys. Desi guys having an American/ British passport and being raised in the west count as “American/British” in my opinion. I regard myself as an American too.

3) THE GIRLFRIEND INTRODUCTION FACTOR:

Not only is there a huge difference between the mentalities of American guys and Desi guys, but even

Maybe Haider doesn’t care about this. He doesn’t mind my not being a virgin. But if we were to marry,

everything and I mean everything would be new for him.

Not only sex, but everything. He will not only be a virgin in the literal sense; he will also be a “relationship virgin.”

Hyderabadi Muslim weddings go on for days what with their long list of rituals. There’s Manja, Sanchak, and Mehndi, which are traditional turmeric/henna ceremonies for both the bride and groom respectively. Then there’s the Nikah which is the actual wedding day and signing of the marital contract. Jalwa – unveiling of the bridal veil so that the groom can see her for the first time after the signing of the Muslim marital contract. Finally, there’s the Valima which is the reception. Then starts the honeymoon period.

The honeymoon phase is bliss whether you are married or not. Everyone knows this. It’s what follows the honeymoon period that’s important. It is then that relationships are compelled to stand the test of time.

For a desi guy who has never been in a serious relationship with a girl, marriage would of course be completely new for him. Following the honeymoon, he might not be completely out of it. He still would want to talk to you all the time; even when he or you are at work.

He wants you to be with him every second. You see, he is a relationship virgin.

To be precise; guys and girls in India don’t normally sleep around or date due to strict parental upbringing. Even if they do; that’s temporary and secretive in nature. The kids end up marrying people their parents chose for them. But in the West; it’s the other way round.

Virginity isn’t a big deal. People actually wonder if you have got a problem if you are a virgin. Everyone is sleeping around with everyone here thanks to fewer parental restrictions. People also actually get to know each other.

In layman’s terms; it’s called dating.

At 25 and being a single mom of a 4 year old, I really need to stand on my own two feet. Having gotten nothing out of my divorce, no alimony, no child support because my ex was an Indian citizen, financial independence is now of even greater importance to me. Relying on a man who’s not the birth father of my child for money is out of the question. Trusting him with the responsibility of my child? No can do, sir!

Everyone works and studies in the US. Adults go back to school all the time. It’s the norm. And also, dating

But here’s the difference between Desi parents residing in India versus those that have acquired Western citizenship: my parents, while unleashing their protective instincts from time to time, tend to be more accepting and understanding of Western concepts of moving out, dating, and sex.

Tell Desi parents in India that your girlfriend is deaf; they throw a bitch fit. Tell them she is a divorcée and a single mom; they still throw a bitch fit. Again; I am not saying all Desi parents are like this; just that the majority of them are (Sorry, I tell it like I see it).

6) THE SEX FACTOR:

is normal here. Guys here will understand when you are busy and why you are busy. They understand the concept of “space.” They don’t have the clinginess that comes with never having dated anyone, as is apparent in most Indian guys with a conservative upbringing.

So, when I am financially independent, armed with a degree and a great job, I will have all the time to indulge in the idiosyncrasies that come with relationships.

Until then, I really cannot afford to get into any serious shit.

If it came to that point, I really would not want to argue with Haider about my long work hours, because I am on a quest to not be a “welfare mom.”

5) THE DESI PARENTS FACTOR:

As I stated above; Desi parents play a huge and a very dominant role in their kids’ lives. A deaf daughter-in-law is not something that comes to their minds.

Most of them are not even aware of the existence of deaf communities. It is very well known that Indians/Pakistanis give great preference to the male child. On top of that, if you happen to be an only son, they go out and about to pamper you and bring you up lavishly.

Haider being an only son doesn’t help matters.

Also he has two unmarried sisters at home. Sadly, the dowry system is still rampant in the Indian city of Hyderabad. While American guys are not obligated to take care of their parents or siblings, because everyone works here and everyone is independent, Indian guys are compelled to frequently wire funds as “dowry money” to their par-

ents on a monthly basis using Western Union.

Also, Desi parents have a very different idea of how their daughter-in-law should be. Issues of “whether she wears jeans or not” arise. Issues of “why is she working and not staying home” arise. Also for most Desi parents, living alone anywhere in the USA, be it Chicago or New York, is ipso facto living in sin. This is not to be held against them. During my undergrad years, my own mother threw a hissy fit if I so much as expressed a desire to move out and reside with old Mrs. Wilfunfrankel, the cat lady next door. And she (my mom) is an American citizen.

Alright, this is going to generate a lot of hate mail and angry rants from all the desi guys in India/Pakistan.

But see, most humans are hardwired to desire sex. Deaf people are no different in that regard. We have a type too.

Since you guys are so hell bent on categorizing us deafies and harboring idiotic myths about us, I just want to politely emphasize the fact that we like to make choices too when it comes to zeroing in on a potential mate.

suspect a longtime friend of ulterior motives. But with the rising number of foreign guys and girls leaving Americans after getting a green card, let’s not take any risks, shall we?

Additionally, if we got into it, it would be a long distance online relationship until the USCIS guys grant him a visa. No offense to Tinder, but an online relationship at 25 with someone who isn’t even within 5 miles of you….YEAH RIGHT!!

Sooo… taking all this into consideration, I am really sorry, but when it comes to Haider, no matter how sweet he is, or how good-looking he is, or how long he has been my friend, I am swiping next!

Losing my hearing was like a Blitzkrieg attack; sudden, no cause. Any guy who wants to date me or wife me needs to understand that. I need a man who is

This doesn’t mean I want to date only experienced men that aren’t virgins. This also doesn’t mean I want to consider going steady or getting hitched after trying out different men. Let’s not take everything I say literally.

Let me just ask you guys a simple question: how is it fair that it is okay if you want to choose the best among potential girls for dating/marriage, but it’s not okay if deafies like us attempt to do the same?

We are humans too, belonging to the same race from whence you came. So we want to choose someone we are physically, chemically, and sexually attracted to.

This is really not about Haider. It’s more of a callout to biased people out there, that deaf people too are hardwired for sex and have the right to choose who they want to mate with.

7) THE GREENCARD FACTOR:

Another problem in the long list of problems is, Haider wasn’t a resident of USA. He lived in the gulf. He had never so much as set foot here. Like me, he was a Hyderabadi, i.e. he traced his roots to the city of Hyderabad in India. He was my age and great to look at too. But unlike me, he wasn’t an American citizen.

I put this last, because I really do not want to

broad-minded, knowledgeable, and exposed to ASL. He doesn’t necessarily need to be hearing impaired himself.

He just needs to be aware of the deaf community.

Dating/marriage is not all roses and bunnies every day, even if it’s the “right guy.” Some days you want to fuck the hell outta each other (lovingly and carnally, that

Article | Consumerism

Differences are beautiful; be it Hearing aids or Monroe piercings.

I really wouldn’t be writing this article or even come out as a hearing impaired person if not for the popular TV show “Switched at Birth.” The show highlights deaf culture and deaf-hearing relationships. We even get to see Mingo, the boyfriend of the show’s leading deaf college chick, Daphne, learning ASL just for her. That show, in its own way, instilled a certain kind of confidence in me.

I am aware of the fact that in reality, in the real world, things don’t work quickly as they do on a TV show.

It’s going to take some time getting everything done on my checklist. Degree. Great Job. Own Car. Own House.

And finally…a new boyfriend and eventual husband with a plan to procreate more progeny. Looks like a decent plan.

is). And some days you really want to kill each other. Any relationship, marriage or otherwise, takes hard work. You have to work on it. An open mind and an understanding heart makes for long-term relationships.

own individual needs. They have programs similar to those of leading universities around the nation, like business, visual and performing arts, psychology, communication studies. They also have athletics and Greek life.

For me, I need someone who has prior experience dealing with the highs and lows that come with relationships. Now, I am not saying the guy needs to be a divorcé or a single dad or anything as such. He can very well be a newly single man who just broke up with yet another blonde.

Intrigued that a post-secondary level school for the deaf would hold such a prestigious position, I would look up any news regarding Gallaudet from time to time.

I stumbled upon this documentary which featured the infamous Gallaudet murders in which two deaf kids, Eric Plunkett and Benjamin Varner, were murdered. The testimonial from Benjamin Varner’s father was especially heartbreaking. He said, and I quote, “I am quite proud of the fact that my son is deaf. Being deaf is not a disability, it is a culture in itself.” Finally, someone who gets it!

Experience counts. I don’t want a fuckboy who has gone through life flitting between women. Neither do I want a “relationship virgin.” What I want is someone in between. Someone that is ready for everything that comes with “going steady” or “getting hitched.” Someone that can empathize with my hearing impairment and is enthusiastic about ASL.

Now onto deafness and ASL. Deaf culture is so rampant in the West that in the United States alone, we have a whole university dedicated to serving the deaf and hearing impaired: Gallaudet University in Washington D.C. to be precise. They have students with hearing loss all over campus. Some of them are fully deaf. Some of them are just a bit hearing impaired, like me. They have their own dorms equipped with everything to suit their

So you see, if you want me, you need to embrace my culture. Deaf culture. We have our own language… that of signing. Granted, I don’t sign. This statement is more for my fellow deafies who communicate using ASL. Bottom line, this isn’t the 1950s, let’s not be embarrassed or ashamed about dating a deaf person. Let’s be proud and brag about them instead. If dating is all about getting to know each other, and a few compromises here and there, why not get to know what deaf culture is like?

There’s cross-cultural marriages and there’s interracial marriages, so why not deaf-hearing marriages?

I really don’t know if I’ll get a Maserati or a boyfriend who wants to learn about deaf culture. But, I have learned that in order for good things to come your way, you need to believe you deserve them. It’s called…wait for it… a positive attitude.

Also, I’ll always be proud of the fact that I am hearing impaired. It goes on my CV. It goes on my Tinder.

It goes on my Desi bio-data which is my profile on paper if my mother wants to set me up with someone in the desi community.

People may not understand this, but I like being hearing impaired. Scratch that. I can proudly declare I am deaf, even if partially.

On an ending note; as my favorite actor/comedian Tim Allen puts it; “One thing is guaranteed in life folks; you’re gonna get knocked down, the way you pop back up is what makes you great.” So, to all my fellow deafies out there, keep your head high, get out there, and make some noise. To all the hearing folks, much love and respect. To all the single guys out there, call me maybe! ;)

And finally; in the spirit of Christmas, to Santa: get me my Maserati and a hunk of a man who wouldn’t drive me to write 11 pages of why I wouldn’t want to date him/ marry him! ** Names have been changed to protect confidentiality.

BROADside

screen/play

Flying

“A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS” TALYAH PURI

When under you, lies only white, and above, a reflection of the blue of something, nowhere near here, There is no touching the ground.

Endlessly, infinitely coasting, What is there to feel, How can you feel, When you can only touch the clouds?

A pillow that will never hold your weight, like a love, a beautiful romance, that never could survive to woes of life.

It is a lie, stuck in the space, between finally seeing the stars, and being stuck on the ground.

Even here, you are not yet free.

Now I understand, Why people hate flying.

Director: Bill Melendez in association with Charles M. Schulz Genre: Children’s, Holiday.

Where to Find: DVD, VHS, major cable networks near Christmas time (CVS, AVC, NBC) SUMMARY:

Everyone knows the familiar tale of Charlie Brown and his struggle to discover the true meaning of Christmas in the holiday classic, A Charlie Brown Christmas. As Christmas approaches, Charlie Brown finds himself unable to develop any Christmas spirit like his friends do – that is, the Christmas spirit that is advertised and marketed during the holiday season. Things grow worse and worse for Charlie Brown when his friends get wrapped-up in the money making schemes synonymous with the holiday season – his little sister Sally writes letters to Santa Claus asking specifically for money, his dog Snoopy decorates his house for a lights and display contest for the monetary grand prize, and his theatre group neglects the true meaning behind the Christmas play they’re rehearsing for by dancing and arguing with one another. When Charlie Brown is put in charge of the Christmas play and gets a little, fragile tree to serve as the play’s Christmas tree, the theatre group yells at him for not buying a shinier, prettier Christmas tree. As Charlie Brown sets out on his own with just his little tree as his only company, he reflects on the Nativity story told to him by Linus, whose words affected the theatre group as well. They follow Charlie Brown and repair his little tree as a group to make him feel better. They learn Christmas is not so much about how much money one makes or earns, but rather the pure, unadulterated sentiments of togetherness with which the holiday began.

BROAD Thumbs Up!

Little do many people know that the Charlie Brown Christmas special was almost rejected from appearing on television due to its anti-consumerism message.

For a Christmas story intended for children, A Charlie Brown Christmas sinks its roots surprisingly deep into the problem of consumerism surrounding the Christmas season. Children are sponges for advertisements and commercials depicting glaring images of toys and other expensive items on sale for Christmas, so having a movie like this with such a starkly-opposite message that has resonated with audiences young and old for decades says a lot about the film’s effectiveness. A Charlie Brown Christmas doesn’t slap the message of anti-consumerism in your face like regular toy commercials do during the Christmas season – it takes a much subtler approach that illustrates the effects of depression that set in from a lack of sentiment stemming from the materialistic season, through the character of Charlie Brown himself. It also values the power of genuine friendship and community over the lure of advertisements, as is evident in the last scene when all the children gather together and sing. Not only is this movie something that taught us as kids the true reason for the season, but it’s also something we’ll be able to show our own kids one day, making it a timeless testament to anti-consumerism.

.

Article | Consumerism

THIS CHRISTMAS FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO PINK A. Mairead Mac

For Christmas, my little cousin wants an Easy Bake Oven. The mother, also my cousin, took to Facebook asking everyone where to find the best deal – whether to look at Toys ‘R Us, Target, or just straight off the Internet.

A deluge of responses poured in, linking her to this site and that, with ovens of all colors, sizes, price ranges, and premium accessories to make the best goodies possible – well, possible for a six-year-old. I even linked her to a couple affordable ones I spotted on Google’s Shopping page, because, believe it or not, some Easy Bake Ovens are more efficient than others, and me being the caring cousin I am, I don’t want my little cousin getting ripped off with a faulty oven light-bulb or an oven coated in lead-filled paint that could make him sick.

But my cousin gave us specifications for the Easy Bake Oven her child wants. Because even though her son, my cousin Donovan, is a boy and is interested in owning an Easy Bake Oven, he has no real preference for the accessories that come with the ovens.

His only catch, however: he doesn’t want a pink oven.

No purple ovens, no yellow ovens. Nothing that could, using his mother’s words, “get him teased by his friends if they ever found out.”

The minute I read these specifications I left the post conversation and halted my search efforts. But a deluge of more responses kept pouring in – now directing my cousin to links of black and gray ovens. Specifically, many people posted links of one particular Easy Bake Oven – a new “gender neutral” model, with a black casing and hints of blue swirly designs on the front. My cousin was elated – though some of the prices were more than she hoped for, she found a couple affordable options she’d consider for Donovan, and thanked us all for giving her son the happiest Christmas he could dream of.

There were several things I wanted to do at that point. The cyber troll in me wanted to post a lengthy explanation about why the color of an Easy Bake Oven shouldn’t matter to a child who sincerely wants to learn the art of baking, a hobby that has been linked so irrefutably to women and housewives for so many decades and is just now starting to appeal to both sexes without any condescension towards women’s roles in the kitchen.

But my better judgment and fear of entrapping myself in a family conflict hindered my response. I kept quiet. I figured it wasn’t my job to teach my cousin how to parent her kids – they’re hers, after all, and if she sincerely believes there’s no problem in her son wanting

a non-pink Easy Bake Oven, then who am I, her twentyone-year-old baby cousin, to tell her any differently? But I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind – all I wanted was to go over to her house, sit Donovan down, and tell him he didn’t have to be ashamed of owning a pink Easy Bake Oven. Pink is just a color, I’d tell him, just like black or red or purple. They’re all the same and would not make his baking adventures any less fun or “manly.”

But then I started thinking about the “gender neutral” Easy Bake Oven people were extolling to my cousin, prodding her to buy and decorate to Donovan’s tastes. I started wondering why changing the color of the oven from pink to black suddenly made it gender neutral.

Clearly the companies involved in creating the ovens were getting too many female buyers for their ovens and now wanted to draw in a male crowd, and according to their logic, switching to black would help that happen.

That color change and label says a lot about our society. That the simple color change of an item can suddenly make it more appealing and less embarrassing for boys who want to cook, when the item itself still performs the same functions. As if baking alone isn’t an embarrassing hobby for a little boy to take up, cooking with a pink oven would just be a masculine apocalypse.

My problem wasn’t so much that Donovan didn’t want a pink oven, but how he viewed pink as a color.

It’s only a girl’s color to him, and even when boys flaunt their pink polos or t-shirts, they wear them ironically or to appear preppy. Why is pink the only color confined to specific genders – women, gay men, transgender women, etc. – when all other colors like black, red, and green can apply to genders across the spectrum? Black apparently suits boys and girls equally – why else would those manufacturers label that Easy Bake Oven “gender neutral,” or appealing to little boys as well as little girls?

Christmas seems to be the ideal time for retail companies to go completely gender-normative in their ad campaigns.

Why can’t pink be gender neutral? Why does Donovan despise an oven with pink accents, but will jump for joy over an identically-constructed oven with black and blue accents?

Christmas seems to be the ideal time for retail companies to go completely gender-normative in their ad campaigns. Open up Toys ‘R Us’ “Big Book of Awesome” (their holiday toy catalogue) and you’ll know right off the

bat which pages are meant for girls’ eyes, and which are for boys’. The boys’ sections are decked out in a range of colors – blue for Thomas the Tank Engine, black and white for Star Wars, and a whole array of colors for Legos or board games or science kits. Those pages alone take up most of the book. The girls’ sections, however, are decked in only one color – pink. Little spurts of purple and yellow may creep in every once in a while, but for the most part, the pages look like Glinda the Good Witch threw up on them.

Why can’t pink be gender neutral? Why does Donovan despise an oven with pink accents, but will jump for joy over an identically-constructed oven with black and blue accents?

Now, this doesn’t mean these sections are only meant for girls, while the rest are meant for boys. Kids of all genders are certainly allowed to flip throughout the book, but it seems that the colors act as attention-snatchers and diverters for boys and girls. The pink dollhouses and stuffed animals, for instance, are designed to draw in the gaze of little girls, but also prompt boys to skip over the pink sections and head for the ones showing the rest of the colors in the rainbow.

Put simply, the use of colors in catalogues like these works like a newspaper headline. People look for the sections of the news they want to read about – some want to read about the weather, others the Want Ads, etc. Toys ‘R Us toy catalogues are the Washington Post of Christmas advertisements – strategically laid out to get girls and boys to pay attention to certain things, but not the same things.

So can I blame Donovan for wanting a black Easy Bake Oven over a pink one? No, it’s not his fault. He’s just a kid being told what to like and what not to like, just like I was as a kid, when other kids would look at me like I had four heads when I said I wanted a telescope for Christmas.

But with innovative steps being taken to improve these gender normative advertising strategies, like Target’s recent tactic to get rid of exclusively pink or blue toy aisles in its stores, perhaps one day boys like Donovan won’t recoil at the sight of a pink Easy Bake Oven or a Barbie doll or a My Little Pony stuffed animal. Perhaps we’re on the cusp of a pink revolution.

quote corner

BROADside

Gentle

KIMANI ROSE

Breathe air into my lungs, The feeling of being wanted in my throat, I didn't know such gentle touches, Could light such reactions.

You caught me off guard, Still catch me off guard, Will continue catching me, I hope, I hope.

I've never admitted, To liking gentleness, But I can't think of anything better.

CHUCK PALAHNIUK “We're consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession.

Murder, crime, poverty, these things don't concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy's name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra.”

“The things you used to own, now they own you.”

“You are not your job, you're not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis.

You are all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”

“Are these things really better than the things I already have? Or am I just trained to be dissatisfied with what I have now?”

“Experts in ancient Greek culture say that people back then didn't see their thoughts as belonging to them. When ancient Greeks had a thought, it occurred to them as a god or goddess giving an order. Apollo was telling them to be brave. Athena was telling them to fall in love.

Now people hear a commercial for sour cream potato chips and rush out to buy, but now they call this free will.At least the ancient Greeks were being honest.”

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