INT RO DUCT IO N. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . 4 OUR RE S IDE NTS R A I SI NG C H I LDR EN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 CHO O SI NG A M ATE.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 TA KI NG R I SKS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 T H E PAST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
CONTENTS
VACATION S .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 HA R D TI M ES.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 TA KI NG C A R E OF SOM EON E.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 GET TI NG OLDER .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 HOPE FOR TH E F U TU R E.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 BEI NG G R ATEFU L.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 FOLLOWI NG YOU R DR EA M S.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 OUR CE LE B RIT Y FRIE NDS L I F E & AG I NG WI SD OM .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
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W
hat if there were an untapped resource that contained something more valuable
than silver and gold? This treasure can bring happiness, long life, riches and honor. It is free, available, and found in the most unexpected places. Legend has it that King Solomon, when given the option to have anything he wanted, chose this. You guessed it – wisdom. Where can we find it?
There is a great untapped resource in our older generation – those who have lived
long and learned life’s lessons. Not only do they have the benefit of seeing life from its whole perspective, but they also have the ability to distill it into kernels of truth, packed full of power – the intellectual equivalent of a super food. They can tell us the “One Thing” that makes a difference in a given situation.
At Brookdale® our coffers are full to the brim. We have more than 117,000 of these
jewels. So, we decided to tap into their wisdom. We asked them some questions: What is the One Thing you would tell a younger person about…finding a mate, getting an education, dreaming a dream, etc. And they had the answers on the tips of their tongues.
Their responses were simple on the surface but profound in their depth. There are
books written about them – millions of dollars spent on research. But no need really; just ask an 85 year old. Who but a fool would leave this treasure undiscovered?
5
“Seize teachable moments to discuss with your child; that means listening as well as talking.� EILEEN, AGE 86
8
“Try to be a good mother by helping them any way you can and set good examples for them.”
9
ELEANOR, AGE 100
“Teach them to be honest in everything they say and do.” MARIE, AGE 84
10
“Encourage them to be individuals.”
“Eat dinner together often.”
N O R M A N , AG E 87
“Be someone they need.”
E T TA, AGE 84
“Please love them unconditionally. In addition,
learn to be flexible and listen to them.”
YVO N N E , AG E 9 0
E MILY, AGE 86
“Tell them how much you love them daily.” JA N , AG E 7 1
“Always be there for them no matter what they need. Make sure you know who their friends are.”
“You can’t breeze through raising any child. You have to be strong but flexible.” ANN, AGE 78
“Always tell them the truth.”
S H I R L E Y, AG E 87
“Be a good example.”
FRANCE S, AGE 87
“Find an alternate word to ‘no.’”
LO I S , AG E 8 8
“Be respectful. Remember where you were at that age.”
IRMA, AGE 94
“You’ve got to have a sense of humor.” PE G, AGE 87
KAT H L E E N , AG E 84
“You need prayer, perseverance and patience for your children to have a happy life.” S H I R L E Y, AG E 7 7
11
“Let the men chase you and choose your favorite.” DORTHY, AGE 83
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“I would marry this man all over again.”
15
KATHLEEN, AGE 89
“Love them with all you have, all the time.” DONNA, AGE 84
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“Choose someone you have fun with.” F R A N C E S , AG E 9 1
“Don’t give people advice on choosing a mate. They will figure it out themselves. You don’t want it to be your fault.”
“Don’t pick the first one you meet.” IRE NE , AGE 72
“We were married May 10, 1947, and my
how time files. When we met, we just knew it in our hearts.”
D E A N , AG E 78
“If someone asks you to dance, say ‘yes.’ You may end up marrying them like I did!”
JOH N & MART H A, AGE S 92 & 90
“Choosing a mate is not an intellectual
exercise. If the process and/or the result ‘just doesn’t feel right’, it isn’t.”
E L I Z A B E T H , AG E 9 4
ALV IN, AGE 83
“By all means make sure you love each other, to the point of not being able to live without each other.” A N N , AG E 8 6
“Ask the Lord to guide you for the right mate. Don’t go into the marriage expecting the other person to make you happy – you need to be happy on your own.”
“Choose someone who values you and you can talk with easily.”
SH IRL E Y, AGE 77
LO I S , AG E 8 8
“Be a friend first, then a spouse.” Z E TTA , AG E 7 7
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“Without any risk you will achieve nothing.” ANN, AGE 78
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“Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If you never try you will never know if you can do it; you may regret not having taken the risk ... so just do it!�
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EDNA, AGE 84
“It’s better to do something and fail, than to succeed at doing nothing.” ELISE, AGE 89
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“Know the facts, make a decision and don’t look back.” E D, AG E 8 5
“Taking a risk sounds negative–you are going out on a limb, but taking a chance seems positive–it’s seeking an opportunity.” M A R G A R E T, AG E 89
“Make sure your risk isn’t smoking or driving too fast!” E L E A N O R , AG E 8 8
“Take the risk, the man upstairs will always look out for you.” F R E D, AG E 87
“Life is a risk! Love is the greatest risk in the world. Everyone has love in their hearts; you just have to tap into it. If you do not have love then you should take the risk and take your chances to cultivate love in any way you can.” N I TA , AG E 8 0
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“Don’t live in the past. The past is gone. Tomorrow is a promise.” SHIRLEY, AGE 77
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“It was more relaxed; people were more confident in themselves in the past.”
RUSSELL, AGE 96
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“Mourn not the days that have gone before, but bless the days that still lie ahead.� DON, AGE 95
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“We appreciated everything we had.”
“I went to dental school; I wouldn’t do it again.”
G E RT R U D E , AG E 84
“Write a letter to your children when you are young and tell them what they mean to you and thank them for adding to your life.”
KE IT H , AGE 79
“Cherish the little things. I remember riding with my grandfather to the feed mill to get hay and oats for the cows and horses. I loved it!”
LY D I A , AG E 8 0
“Remember the past and use it to shape the future.” A R D E N , AG E 76
E L L A, AGE 92
“Know that you can’t go back to the past and change things but you can change things for the future and make them better.” MAXINE , AGE 81
“Worked three jobs to make it at $2.00/week.” CE CE L IA, AGE 92
“Know that the past isn’t the future.” JAN, AGE 62
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“Make the time to take one. It doesn’t matter where you go, just make sure that you go.” CHARLES, AGE 84
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“See all you can see and enjoy the dream.”
33
LONA, AGE 105
“Take as many as you possibly can!” JOHN, AGE 81
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“If you have no money, still take a day trip and enjoy the beautiful world.” LOT T I E , AG E 7 7
“You don’t have to go far to find an interesting place.” R O B E RT, AG E 78
“Take comfortable clothes that you can wash and hang up. Take care of your feet. Don’t talk to any strangers, unless they are good looking. Always have a Plan B.”
“Don’t do too much planning. If you do, all you’ll do is work on your vacation.”
GW E N , AG E 95
“Take lots of pictures. Review them often later in your life to bring back the memories.”
FRANCE S, AGE 87
“Take half of what you originally packed and double the money.”
A DA , AG E 8 4
“Travel light and be flexible. Changes happen and that is part of the adventure.”
E L IZABE T H , AGE 84
“Be sure to take vacations – don’t wait until you’re 90!”
E L E A N O R , AG E 8 0
FRANCIS, AGE 90
“Pack three bags and leave two at home.” A L B E RT, AG E 87
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“Believe that things can get better.” BARBARA, AGE 74
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“We all just went through it; there is nothing wrong with hard times. Money was the hardest problem. Save money, but don’t be stingy.”
39
RALPH, AGE 87
“Take them one day at a time.” SHEILA, AGE 82
40
“Whatever you have you share with those who are worse off than you. Be very grateful, always.” ANN, AGE 86
“Never Give Up!” LOIS, AGE 88
“Spend what you have wisely. Buy only essentials. Do not waste money, food or time. Be optimistic about the future. Have faith that God is with you and will always help you.”
“I danced through the hard times.” D O R I S , AG E 8 6
CAT H E RINE , AGE 84
“Save your money for the hard times.” D O R OT H Y, AG E 8 3
“You just don’t know when hard times will hit, so be wise, work hard and save your money. I never stopped working and saving my money.”
“It doesn’t matter how little the pay, take a job.” JA N E , AG E 9 1
E D, AGE 96
“They will come, whether you want them to or not.” “Have some money hidden so when you are in a tough spot, you can get out.”
Z E T TA , AG E 7 7
FRANCE S, AGE 87
“Look back and count your blessings and realize your problems weren’t as bad as they seemed. We have no problems we can’t handle.” N A I DA , AG E 8 1
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“Take your time. Listen deeply, quietly and with kindness.” RITA, AGE 62
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“As a caregiver, a person has to be more of a companion to them, not a servant, and must be patient and flexible.” RUSSELL & ODILE, AGES 96 & 96
45
“They would see that people really need them and you can’t sit around all day without using your mind. People who can should help.” RUSSELL & ODILE, AGES 96 & 96
46
“Be sure to take care of yourself as well. A small glass of wine or even a beer can work wonders.”
“Look them in the eyes and be gentle with what you do. See them as a person.” LO I S , AG E 8 8
JOANN, AGE 79
“Treat them as you would want to be treated.” V I R G I N I A , AG E 9 1
“Be prepared for the unexpected. Laughter is the best medicine. Take care of yourself first. Don’t take things too personally. Respect others’ wishes.” L E O N A , AG E 87
“Be patient with yourself so that you will be patient with the person who needs your help and care.”
“It’s a big commitment but one that you will never forget. You will always be thankful you could take care of that loved one.” MARGE , AGE 82
“I was where you are now—you will be where I am now in more years. Kindness, love and attention are all that is needed.” BE RNICE , AGE 88
M AG G I E , AG E 73
“Let them keep their pride and dignity.” V I R G I N I A , AG E 88
“Don’t forget to take care of yourself first.” LO I S , AG E 8 8
“Let them do things for themselves as long as possible.” GW E N , AG E 8 6
47
“You have more wisdom and love to share.” MARY, AGE 69
50
“Have fun, but behave, and be yourself. Stay young as long as you can; there’s no rush to getting older.”
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GLADYS, AGE 91
“Enjoy life. It’s as simple as that.” PAULINE, AGE 99
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“Learn to enjoy life and don’t dwell on sad things. You can’t stop it – enjoy it!” D O R E E N , AG E 8 0
“It is a wonderful journey. The things you once took for granted, you enjoy so much more. You have fewer worries.” CO O P E R , AG E 8 6
“I’m not old. People 10 years older than me are old.” JA N , AG E 92
“Make sure you use your wrinkle cream at night.”
“It’s a wonderful experience to grow old. You are calmer, worry less, enjoy and share things more.” L E FFL E R, AGE 97
B ER N I C E , AG E 89
“Don’t be afraid of getting older – enjoy it.” LOI S , AG E 8 8
“Be flexible and go with the flow. Keep a sense of humor.” LOIS, AGE 84
“Enjoy each and every day. Be bold and make a difference in someone’s life.”
“You’ll find that things sag more than they used to!” MAD E L L A, AGE 79
B A R B A R A , AG E 7 1
“Take each day as it comes.” R OS E M A RY, AG E 84
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“Dream big.” RITA JEAN, AGE 62
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“So deep within all of you, there is a seed to be watered and one day your seed will burst forth. You will overcome doubts, challenges, but keep hope alive and your dreams can become a reality.�
DOROTHY, AGE 75
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“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams and live the life you’ve imagined.” DOROTHY, AGE 75
58
“Try to make things better.” FLORE NCE , AGE 82
“The only hope that is genuine and is assured is with the Lord.” “Trust in God. Trust in the words that the elderly give you.” P HI L L I S , AG E 8 4
SH IRL E Y, AGE 77
“People are the hope.” LORRAINE , AGE 85
“You can hope all you want. You have to make things happen. Work for them.” B ET T Y, AG E 8 6
“Set a goal for yourself. Pray–Work Hard–Be Honest.” D O R OT H Y, AG E 86
59
“Love your family. Always be forgiving and grateful for your family.” ETTA, AGE 84
62
“To all you meet in life, listen to them, be cheerful, be understanding and most of all, be respectful.” SHIRLEY, AGE 85
63
“Love many, trust few and always paddle your own canoe.” SHIRLEY, AGE 85
64
“A woman’s beauty.” D ICK, AGE 89
“I am grateful that I have been able to express myself through dance.” NATAL I, AGE 86
“My parents – for the time they spent with us and the guidance they gave us.” OUIDA, AGE 85
“I am grateful for my children because being a mother has taught me so much about caring for others. In turn I was able to care for frail, older people and that made me feel productive as well as purposeful.”
“Be kind and be grateful for all the wonderful things that have happened to you. Be grateful for your kids.” D ORIS, AGE 89
B O B B I , AG E 67
“I am grateful for the people who care about me.”
“For my beautiful wife of 60 years.” BOB, AGE 93
A N N , AG E 9 4
“I am grateful for God because I am alive. I wake up each morning, and He has given me another day to enjoy. And coffee.”
“For loving parents.” G L A DYS , AG E 85
CONNIE , AGE 75
65
“Dreams are just dreams until you act on them.” JAMES, AGE 86
68
“Don’t ever give up. Always have a dream on your mind and in your heart, and eventually it will come true.”
69
DELLA, AGE 87
“Just keep on going, long after you think of giving up.” MARGARET, AGE 85
70
“Have more than one!” B I L L , AG E 73
“Work hard, save money and you can do anything.” T E R E S E , AG E 81
“It’s okay to have your head in the clouds, but make sure your feet are still on the ground.” C H A R L E S , AGE 85
“Be a dreamer. Dreams lead to goals. Goals lead to plans. Plans prepare you to take advantage of opportunities. Opportunities lead to achievement. Achievement leads to ownership and satisfaction which leads to sharing and helping others in need of help.”
“Everyone needs to have dreams. It takes a lot of determination and support from those around you to follow them.” A N N , AG E 78
“Whatever your dream is – don’t give up.”
D OUG, AGE 76
S H I R L E Y, AG E 7 7
“Just keep on going, long after you think of giving up.”
“Follow them with faith, your heart and soul.”
MARGARE T, AGE 85
M A RYA N N , AGE 87
71
72
73
“I’m the same person I was back then, a little less hair, a little less chin, a lot less lungs and much less wind. But ain’t I lucky I can still breathe in.” EXCERPT FROM MAYA ANGELOU’S POEM, ON AGING
74
IN MEMORIUM MAYA ANGELOU CELEBRATED AUTHOR, POET AND ARTIST
75
“Quiz and mine your parents and especially grandparents for the priceless and vital information in their past lives, which–when they’re gone–you will kick yourself about. When it’s too late.” DICK CAVETT
76
DICK CAVETT WRITER/TALK SHOW HOST/ACTOR
77
“Wake up every day with a great desire to accomplish something you’re dying to do ... and then go do it!” CARL REINER
78
CARL REINER DIRECTOR/WRITER/ACTOR
79
“I’m 75 years old. I’m still creating, writing and singing better than ever before. Work hard. Keep on dreaming. Age is not a barrier. Nothing is impossible.” NEIL SEDAKA
80
NEIL SEDAKA SINGER/SONGWRITER
81
“Make a CD of the music that played an important part of your life, the songs you danced to in high school, your wedding song, songs you remember your parents playing or humming so that you can pass on your musical heritage to your family.� DR. RUTH K. WESTHEIMER
82
DR. RUTH K. WESTHEIMER PSYCHOSEXUAL THERAPIST/AUTHOR
83
“Keep a cool head and a warm heart.” FLORENCE HENDERSON
84
FLORENCE HENDERSON SINGER/ACTRESS/AUTHOR/MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER/STAR OF TV’S “THE BRADY BUNCH”
85
“Growing up in the Church of Christian Science, age was not an important factor. So today, I don’t know why everyone applauds when my age is announced ... it just happens.” CAROL CHANNING
86
CAROL CHANNING TONY AWARD-WINNING ACTRESS/COMEDIENNE
87
“I wake up in the morning and I say to myself....‘I have the greatest idea’ (it’s usually not a GREAT idea, but it gets me going). P.S. I also take my vitamins!” MARION ROSS
88
MARION ROSS ACTRESS/STAR OF TV’S “HAPPY DAYS”
89
“Know one’s self!” ROBERT GUILLAUME
90
ROBERT GUILLAUME ACTOR AND AUTHOR/STAR OF TV’S “SOAP,” “BENSON,” “SPORTS NIGHT”
91
“I would always advise your children, and grandchildren, that success should not be measured by wealth or material things. If they have enough, are comfortable and love their work, their families and friends, they will be successful in the most important sense of the word. When asked, I advise young people to find what they love and pursue it, and never just chase the high-paying jobs. Loving what you do is a far surer road to happiness and success by a true, meaningful standard that will become more and more apparent as the years pass by.� PETER YARROW
92
PETER YARROW FOLK SINGER/ACTIVIST
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