Broward Family Life November 2019 by Broward Family Life

COMPLIMENTARY

NOVEMBER 2019

party time A PRIMER FOR PLANNING PICTURE PERFECT CELEBRATIONS

tweets,texts & EMOJIS

HOW TODAYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SHORTHAND COULD HINDER KIDS' DEVELOPMENT

TURKEY DAY

Revolutions INNOVATIVE WAYS TO ENERGIZE THIS YEAR'S THANKSGIVING

16 year old Timothy, (center) who received our 50th heart transplant with members of his family and care team.

Elia, who is cancer-free, and her mom, Melanie

I’m Cancer-Free! My stomach pains weren’t just tummy aches. I had cancer. A tumor called a Wilms tumor in my right kidney. It got so big that it was close to my heart. Too close to take it out with surgery. They did lots of chemotherapy to shrink it so they could take it out. Now I’m cancer-free. Joe DiMaggio made this happen. At first I felt scared, but there’s friends all around Joe DiMaggio. They make you feel special. It helped me. My mom says it helped her to not worry so much, and that we were in the best hands possible.

JDCH.com/Cancer

W W W . T4 K. C OM

the Kids Friendly Clinics ALL UNDER ONE ROOF. With over 15 years of treating children, THERAPIES 4 KIDS, Inc. provides a full spectrum of medical services to children with neurological and developmental disorders such as Cerebral Palsy and Autism. BACK-UP PLAN. You are unable to come to one of our clinics? We also provide some therapies at home and

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BOCA RATON • CORAL SPRINGS • PEMBROKE PINES • WESTON

ANNUAL TREE LIGHTING Saturday, November 16 | 6 to 8 p.m. Enjoy Holiday music, special performances, sweet treats and a very special appearance by Santa Claus!

HOLIDAY FUN DAY PRESENTED BY JOE DIMAGGIO

Don’t miss the Holidays at Promenade at Coconut Creek! Enjoy the holidays all season long with festive music

CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL Saturday, December 7 | 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Pictures with Santa begin at 12 p.m. Revel in holiday cheer with games, on-stage performances, complimentary tote bags from Nicklaus Children’s Hospital and more! Brought to you by Broward Family Life Magazine.

CHANUKAH WONDERLAND & MENORAH LIGHTING Menorah Lighting Sunday, December 22 at 5:30 p.m.

and free activities for the entire family. From the Annual

Chanukah Wonderland Wednesday, December 18

Tree Lighting and Holiday Fun Day* to the Chanukah

through Sunday, December 29

Wonderland, there’s something exciting for all to enjoy!

Kick off the season with activities, music, arts and crafts, and traditional Chanukah bites. Presented by

*Holiday Fun Day is sponsored by:

South Florida Jewish Academy. Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital

Joe DiMaggio

Children’s Hospital

4443 Lyons Road, Coconut Creek, FL 33073 • promenadeatcoconutcreek.com

Delivering the Experience of a Lifetime From the moment Ruby walked into the The Maternity Place at Broward Health Coral Springs, the nerves of becoming a first-time parent were quickly put at ease. The entire team helped Ruby feel comfortable and confident at becoming a mom.

“As a new mom, choosing the right hospital was essential… I was willing to bypass my area hospital and deliver at Broward Health Coral Springs. The experience has exceeded my expectations! - Ruby, Proud mom of Aariya (Boca Raton resident)

Part of the new $65 million patient tower that opened in fall 2018, The Maternity Place offers a modern comfortable environment tailored to the needs of expectant mothers and their families. Features include: • Dedicated private entrance for expectant moms • Private suites with personal bathrooms • 10 Private Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) rooms • Maternity and childbirth classes

To schedule a tour, contact our Childbirth Concierge at 954.344.BABY (2229) or visit BrowardHealth.org/MaternityPlace.

The Maternity Place 3000 Coral Hills Drive, Coral Springs Follow us:

contents

NOVEMBER 2019

departments 10

BROWARD & BEYOND News about the people, places and events in our community.

MOM MATTERS A mother’s epiphany brings a new-found perspective on parenting.

FAMILY MAN A chef’s 10-step guide to the heart of Thanksgiving dinner.

FAMILY HEALTH How text-speak is dumbing-down our kids’ development.

FAMILY DYNAMICS What to say when your child asks “how many genders are there?”

SPECIAL NEEDS 8 great apps to help kids master specific skills.

CALENDAR OF EVENTS Entertaining and noteworthy things to see and do in every corner of Broward County.

WORDS OF WISDOM There’s always something to be grateful for in your kids’ shenanigans.

features

TURKEY DAY REVOLUTIONS Banishing the bird ... and other non-traditional holiday traditions.

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PARTY TIME

ON THE COVER:

It may be holiday party season, but the birthday party happens any time of the year. You’ll want to open our party primer package before planning your next shindig.

Dylan Friedman, 6, of Plantation A Cover Angels winner Photographer: Lisa Nalven

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THE BIGGEST

TOURNAMENT NOVEMBER 8-10

Our mission is to enrich family life in Broward County by offering the highest quality publication and an unparalleled commitment to our readers and our community. PUBLISHER Lisa Goodlin ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Stacey Jacques

$10,000 IN PRIZES!

EXECUTIVE EDITOR Michelle Liem

Meet Pro Gamers, Hollywood celebrities, voice actors, comic artists, join in on the cosplay, fashion shows, panels and much more.

ASSISTANT EDITOR Greg Carannante

BROWARD COUNTY CONVENTION CENTER

ASSOCIATE EDITOR Shannon Pease-Severance SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGERS Suzy Miguelez • Sheila Ranson Rick Charnack CREATIVE DIRECTOR Carrie B. Weeks PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Toni Kirkland • Linda Seavey DIGITAL DEVELOPMENT MANAGER Tom Gonzales CONTACT US: 4611 S. University Drive, #224 Davie, FL 33328 Phone (954) 424-7405 info@browardfamilylife.com

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For information on where to find Broward Family Life, or to become a distributor, call 954-424-7405 or e-mail info@browardfamilylife.com Comments and suggestions are welcome.

Broward Family Life is published twelve times per year by Family Life Media Group. It is distributed free of charge throughout Broward County. Broward Family Life is not responsible for statements made by advertisers or writers. We make every effort to ensure the accuracy of information we print, but cannot be held responsible for any consequences arising from omissions or errors. All photography and letters sent to Broward Family Life will be treated unconditionally, assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to unrestricted right to edit and comment editorially. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is forbidden.

2019 HOLIDAY H A P PE NI NGS

THE YULETIDE CAROLERS

CHECK POMPANOCITICENTRE.COM FOR DATES & TIMES

This holiday season get delighted by The Yuletide Carolers as they evoke the memory of yesteryear with their authentic victorian costumes, harmonious voices and infectious holiday spirit.

SATURDAY, NOV. 30

SANTA’S ARRIVAL EVENT 11 A.M. - 1 P.M.

Here comes Santa Claus! Children of all ages and their families are invited to Santa’s Big Arrival Snow Party on Saturday, Nov. 30 from 11am to 1pm. Santa will be arriving in style via a Pompano Beach Fire Department Fire Truck with the assistance of BSO and there looks to be a 100% chance of “snow”! Special performance by the Snow Queen. Fun holiday activities for the kids, face painting, and more.

NOVEMBER 30 - DECEMBER 24

CLICK WITH OL’ SAINT NICK

Steer your sleigh toward Santa’s Chair in our Courtyard to take your own photos with Ol’ Saint Nick that you’ll cherish for years to come! Visit www.pompanociticentre.com for hours of operation.

FRIDAY, NOV. 29

BLACK FRIDAY OPEN EXTENDED HOURS

Stop by Pompano Citi Centre to take advantage of the extra Black Friday savings. Check with your favorite retailers for their hours of operations and for all your holiday shopping needs!

Like us on Facebook and Follow us on Instagram & Twitter to find out more about holiday happenings, sales, and special events.

www.pompanociticentre.com

SW corner of Federal Hwy and Copans Road, Pompano Beach, FL 33062

SATURDAY, DEC. 14

COOKIES & MILK WITH SANTA 3 P.M. - 5 P.M.

Children are invited to spend an early afternoon with Santa & Mrs. Claus during our Cookies & Milk with Santa event on Saturday, December 14 from 3pm to 5pm. Enjoy a nice story time with the Jolly Old Man and Mrs. Claus and participate in fun holiday activities and giveaways. Must RSVP at www.pompanociticentre.com. Space is limited.

SUNDAY, DEC. 8

PAWS & CLAUS 11 A.M. - 3 P.M.

Bring your furry friend (dogs only) to take a holiday photo with Santa.

&beyond

BROWARD

Ocean Devotion

here can you have fun becoming a mermaid for a day while at the same time helping to preserve the mermaid’s domain? That would be at the free Oceanfest on Nov. 9 at Anne Kolb Nature Center, which sits just a stone’s throw from the beach itself. From 10am-3pm, attendees at South Florida’s only zero-waste event dedicated to the ocean can transform into a mermaid complete with makeup, tails and a photo shoot. Mermaid or not, they can enjoy the Reef Village’s variety of

inspired art and booths featuring nonprofit and educational organizations, goods and services — plus giveaways, prizes and edible ocean delights. In conjunction with the event is the Lionfish Derby, from 7am-2pm, in which dive teams compete to capture the invasive species, followed by the “Taste of Land and Sea” Lionfish Derby After Party, where culinary creations can be enjoyed from 5-10pm. Teams can sign up at www.tinyurl.com/Lionfish2019. Visit www.facebook.com/sfloceanfest for

games and exhibits geared to solving oceanrelated issues. They also can explore new ways to become an OceanCrusader. There will be ocean-

free tickets. The center is at 751 Sheridan St., Hollywood. For more information, call 954-357-5113 or email OceanFest@Broward.org.

HELPING THE HUNGRY Maybe somebody is trying to tell us something: World Kindness Day is Nov. 13, Thanksgiving is Nov. 28, and all of November is Hunger Action Month in Broward County. One way to be kind, give thanks and take action against hunger all at once would be to help the nearly 260,000 people in the county who don’t know where their next meal will come from. That’s 13.6 percent of the county’s population, and it includes approximately 75,000 children who go to bed hungry every night. There are several ways to make a dent in such sad statistics. For instance, monetary donations can be made to www.FeedingSouthFlorida.org. The regional agency also welcomes volunteers and even offers a Youth Ambassadors Program to help kids get involved. But perhaps the most immediate way to help is to make a donation of food and other goods at the agency’s warehouse, 2501 SW 32 Terrace, Pembroke Park, or through Broward’s 365 Food Drive at these collection points: • Downtown Governmental Center, 115 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale • Government Center West, One N. University Dr., Plantation • Main Courthouse, 201 SE Sixth St., Fort Lauderdale • North Regional County Courthouse, 1600 W. Hillsboro Blvd., Deerfield Beach • South Regional County Courthouse, 3550 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood • West Regional County Courthouse,100 N. Pine Island Rd., Plantation • Water and Wastewater Services, 2555 W. Copans Rd., Pompano Beach • Port Everglades, 1850 Eller Dr., Fort Lauderdale • Aviation Department, 2200 SW 45 St., Dania Beach • Broward County Main Library and all branch libraries

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Bringing Books to Life In its 18th year, Broward County Library’s StoryBook Festival is getting graphic. On Nov. 16, the festival will focus on visual literacy and a variety of graphic media — graphic novels, comic books, hybrid books, anime, cartoons and manga (Japanese comics and graphic novels) — to develop thinking skills, comprehension and literacy among young, reluctant and dyslexic readers. The theme is underscored by the event’s special guest, Drew Brockington, author and illustrator of the CatStronauts graphic novel series. From 10am-4:30pm at Southwest Regional Library, the free day of fun activities features Fantasy Forest, where children follow the path to meet storybook characters like Rapunzel, Little Red Riding Hood and Rumpelstiltskin, and “Swappin’ Ground,” where they hear stories and tell their own. Children can get their face painted and their picture taken at “official” Storybook Photo Spots. The first 1,000 children to arrive will receive a free book. Kids are encouraged to come in costume and join in the Storybook Parade. There will also be four stages featuring storytellers and performers, such as Marci Poppins and Tricky Dogs Show, arts and crafts and local authors tents, virtual reality demos and food trucks. The library is at 16835 Sheridan St., Pembroke Pines. For additional information, please call 954-357-6580.

Teens turn trash to treasure This is a different kind of runway show. For one, all the designers and models are teenagers, and all of their fashions are original, environmentally conscious designs inspired by groundbreaking artists — and all are made from recycled materials. At Young At Art Museum’s “Recycled Fashion Show: Artists Restyled” on Nov. 15, the styles correspond to an environmental issue, such as plastic bags and plastic in the ocean, disposable garment bags and waste caused by the fashion industry, magazines and deforestation, or fruit and veggie packages and wasteful practices in the food and packing industry. Plus, the talented designers for the 14th-annual, all-ages event come from YAA’s volunteer program and PACE Center Broward, an academic and counseling center for girls. Three winning designers will receive a scholarship to the Fashion Institute of South Florida. This year’s emcee is Beth Sobol, founder of Miami Fashion Week, and celebrity guest judges include “Project Runway” winner and Fort Lauderdale-native Sebastian Grey, acclaimed designer Julian Chang, and Viviana Gabeiras, founder of Petit Pois. All proceeds raised by the show will support YAA’s Community Initiatives, which bring art opportunities to homeless and low-income children, teens and families. The show is from 7-11pm. Tickets are $45, $40/members, and $100/VIP. Included are open bars, restaurant tastings and art experiences throughout the night. Guests will also be treated to a preview of the museum’s major new exhibition, “InnerSpace.” YAA is at 751 SW 121 Ave., Davie. For more information, visit www.youngatartmuseum.org

Sleep at the Museum:

OLAF’S FROZEN SCIENCE OVERNIGHT • Enjoy a subzero science show. • Experience Frozen 2 in IMAX! • Visit mods.org for pricing and details.

SATURDAY, NOV. 23 • 6:30 P.M.–8 A.M. THE NEXT MORNING

401 SW Second Street • Fort Lauderdale, FL 33312 • 954.467.6637

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November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I9/17/19 LY L I F E4:04 PM 11

TURKEY DAY

… AND OTHER NON-TRADITIONAL HOLIDAY INNOVATIONS

hen we think of Thanksgiving, our thoughts naturally drift to traditional roast turkey, pumpkin pie and family gatherings. But if the holiday feels more like a tired list of hohum obligations rather than an energizing way to revel in your blessings, maybe it’s time to revolutionize your Thanksgiving this year.

But, no one in the family really likes turkey all that much. “We spent years making the traditional feast, but always had a second or third ‘main side’ for the kids and that was just silly,” she says. King says her husband, Rich, does most of the cooking and decided one year to punt the turkey and try a roast

The couple sends out invitations about two to three weeks in advance and friends can select a time when they’d like to fry their turkey — or, in some cases, their chicken, game hen or duck. Many guests just show up to socialize and enjoy beverages and light appetizers, often bringing their own to share. “This varies from cinnamon rolls and

Eat this, not that. “Thanksgiving is absolutely one of our favorite holidays, especially in terms of food,” says Caroline King, a mom of six children between 4 and 16.

pork tenderloin with chipotle wine sauce instead. “Everyone loved it — the adults and the kids,” she says. “Now, it’s our go-to for Thanksgiving.” Choose your own adventure. Jocelyn Chilvers says she and her husband, Jim, enjoy being spontaneous and creative with the holiday. “It also helps that we like all kinds of food and find no appeal in eating the same dishes year after year,” Chilvers says. With families more far-flung than ever, not everyone is able to get together with extended family for the holiday. That’s one reason the Chilvers family chooses to surround themselves with good friends instead. For over 10 years, they’ve invited friends and neighbors over for a “Turkey Fry Open House” in their backyard from 9:30am to 3pm on Thanksgiving day. “We set up a turkey fryer on our lawn or driveway, away from any structures, and use a piece of drywall — pro tip! — as a base to catch any spills,” Chilvers says.

fresh fruit in the morning to stuffed jalapeños and bruschetta in the afternoon,” Chilvers says. “It’s a very fluid event with folks coming and going throughout the day.” No bluffing, baby. Some friendly competition in the form of board games and card games can bring generations of family members together. Anita Smith, a mom of two, says that she and her family like to play Texas Hold ’Em each year after the big meal. Among the roughly 30 guests who attend the family’s annual Thanksgiving, about 10 like to circle around the card table to play a few hours of low-stakes poker. “The big pot might be $3, but we act like it’s $500,” laughs Smith. The conversation and camaraderie make the game extra special. “It’s fun because it crosses all generations,” she says. “We have the 80-year-olds, those of us in our 40s, and the kids playing.” Smith’s sons, Evan, 15, and Collin, 12, are the youngest players at the table. She says that the game offers a natural segue

FIRST THANKSGIVING FUN FACTS • The Pilgrims and the Wampanoag tribe celebrated the first Thanksgiving for three days in 1621. • Potatoes and sweet potatoes weren’t on the menu. • Pumpkin pie, made with pureed pumpkin, hadn’t been invented. • Although they ate cranberries, cranberry sauce wasn’t introduced until 50 years later. • Historians say the group dined on waterfowl and venison, not turkey. Source: Pilmoth Plantation, pilmoth.org

REVOLUTIONS BY CHRISTA MELNYK HINES

into conversations between the older family members and her children. “My kids get to know them, their personalities and stories from way back when.” Fire up holiday spirit. Stacey Moorehead, a mom of six girls, says she and a group of families started the tradition of “Friendsgiving” five years

show begins,” Moorehead says. The much anticipated “real show” is a fireworks event at a local lake. “We all load up, pack candy canes and spend the evening watching fireworks,” Moorehead says. After that, the caravan drives through a park holiday lights display set to festive music at a nearby campground.

a relaxing family outing on the beach instead. “It seems that a lot of people live under unrealistic expectations, especially when it comes to holidays,” King says. “The focus needs to be on family celebrating what they are thankful for, not to be stressed out that the green beans aren’t up to snuff. Make food that makes

ago on the day before Thanksgiving. The event is a fun way for the families to kick off the entire holiday season. The group gathers together with fall soups and foods, and the kids take part in a candy-cane hunt. “Our many, many children all have a great time playing and running in our friends’ large back yard until the real

“What better way to start the holiday than with friends who truly are family!” she says. Families change and grow. Often what once worked well no longer makes sense for any number of reasons. Maybe you’re sick of making candied yams every year that no one eats. Or you daydream of skipping the cooking and cleaning for

you happy, make your own traditions. At the end of the day, you will remember the laughs and time spent together.” So rather than running yourself into the ground chasing society’s prescribed picture-perfect holiday, create a meaningful Thanksgiving tailored just for your special crowd. You may find one more thing to be grateful for.

November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

EVENTS

Bites-N-Sips

DO WN TO

Friday, November 15 • 6-10 p.m. City Hall • 9500 W. Sample Rd. Relax on the lawn with your chairs and blankets for music, cocktails and 15+ food trucks!

L SP RIN GS WN CO RA

Holiday Fun at City Hall!

Downtown in December

Saturday, December 7 • 5-9 p.m. 9500 W. Sample Rd. • Free • “Ice” Skating Train Rides • Music • Tree Lighting • Snow The Nutcracker on a huge outdoor screen!

CO R A L SPRINGS H O L I D A Y H E R O E S

PA R A D E

Holiday Parade

Wednesday, December 11 • 7 p.m. Along Sample Road from Coral Springs Drive to City Hall

Bands, floats and local entries will bring holiday cheer to Sample Road!

Family STEM Saturday, Nov. 16, 2 - 3 pm Math Games! Apply math concepts to fun games both familiar and new. Recommended for School-aged children

STEM for Tweens (Ages 8 – 12) Monday, Nov. 18, 4- 5 pm Build! Create! Investigate! Registration required Nova Southeastern University Alvin Sherman Library Lib.nova.edu/events 954-262-5477

free / open to the public

Visit CoralSprings.org/events for updates and more fun things to do!

FAMILY SLEEPOVER

Connect

with Us!

Friday, November 15 Saturday, November 16 7pm - 8am

KAPOW! Learn about the science of superpowers as you spend a night at the South Florida Science Center. Register at SFScienceCenter.org/sleepover (561) 832-1988

4801 Dreher Tr N, West Palm Beach, FL 33405 14

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SCHOOL IS OUT! CAMP DISCOVERY IS IN! CHILLY CHEMISTRY & SNOWFLAKE SCIENCE 4-DAY CAMP DEC. 23–27

JEDI TRAINING ACADEMY 5-DAY CAMP DEC. 30 –JAN. 3

• Award Winning Programs • Experienced Instructors • Performance Opportunities • Group Classes & Private Lessons • Jazz • Tap • Ballet • Hip Hop • Contemporary • Acting 101 • Vocal Performance • Music 101 • Advanced Acting • Tiny Tots Secure your child’s spot today by calling 954.713.0930 or email booking@mods.net.

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401 SW Second Street • Fort Lauderdale, FL 33312 • 954.467.6637

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November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

It will soon be fa-la-la season for holiday parties, but there’s one celebration that happens any time of the year — the birthday party. Some parents may aspire to throw a bash for their child like pre-divorce Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did in 2006 for their Suri’s second (!) birthday, splurging $100,000 on fresh flowers ($17,000), Wolfgang Puck catering ($45,000), a $5,000 cake — not to mention other extravagances like filling the house with 1,000 butterflies! But most of us don’t sail in that stratosphere. That’s where our party primer comes in, brimming with helpful steps to a fun but sane celebration, whether planning a party at home or trying to find an entertainer or the perfect party place. There’s also advice on proper party preparations and etiquette, and how to strike just the right tone for those persnickety teen celebrations. So, all together now: “Happy Birthday Party to you…”

Birthday Party Primer Avoid these planning pitfalls for a zero-drama bash BY MALIA JACOBSON

t happens all too fast: One minute, you’re wiping up the crumbs from the first-birthday cake smash. A few whirlwind years later, your precocious preschooler brings home a stack of birthday party invitations penned by parents you’ve never met. Party evites invade your inbox and group texts detailing last-minute party plans zip back and forth with the urgency of national security missives. Your child has hit the birthday party scene, and it’s hoppin’. Kid birthday parties are big business — the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions reports kids’ party venues charge an average of $370 per party. Add in decorations, food and favors, and costs can easily top $500, so it’s understandable that parents want to get it right. Easier said than done, though. Parents bring different expectations, cultural norms, communication styles and budgets into the party-planning process, and etiquette

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can fall through the cracks, says Jacqueline Whitmore, an internationally recognized etiquette expert, author and founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach. And with 73 percent of parents preferring to send online invitations, according to online stationer Punchbowl, the increasingly paperless world of party communications leaves room for etiquette missteps. While there’s no formula for the “perfect” party, avoiding these party-planning pitfalls keeps the focus where it belongs — celebrating your not-so-little-one’s big day.

RSVP Reframe In today’s uber-connected world, responding to party invites has never been easier; email, texting, or simply checking a box on a web-based evite takes all of 30 seconds. But these days, continued on page 20

8 Steps to Sane Soirees BY K E R R I E M C LO U G H L I N

It seems like kids’ birthday parties are getting more and more out-of-hand, with parents trying to top each other to win some non-existent “Most Elaborate Party” award! It can be difficult — if not impossible — to keep up with the intricate, expensive and often highly structured parties that are thrown by our child’s friends and classmates. Whether your child is in school, home-schooled or not yet even in preschool, the politics of birthday parties affect everyone. Save your sanity and stay out of the Poor House by considering these eight options. Realize that you don’t have to invite the whole world to an expensive gathering. One of my favorite parties growing up consisted of about five friends at an ice cream parlor. You could save up for something special and a little more costly every few years, like taking five friends to an amusement park. If you’re having the party in your spacious backyard, by all means invite your child’s entire class. But … If you have a small home or apartment, you might invite guests to a park shelter that you reserve in advance. Bonus: You don’t have to clean your home before or after the party! Of course, some of the kids in your child’s class may have their feelings hurt if they aren’t invited, but we all have to get used to rejection sometime, right? The unspoken rule in most classrooms is that kids shouldn’t talk about upcoming birthday parties so those who were not invited won’t get their feelings hurt. Don’t make your child feel like she has to invite kids to her party just because she attended their party. Either set a limit on the number of invitees or have your child really think about who her friends are and who she would want at her party.

2 3

continued on page 21

For teens, it’s all about the tone B Y K AT H R Y N S T R E E T E R

ost parents would agree that birthdays are a fairly easy win when the kids are young. Not without great effort and frenzied busyness, for sure, but more straightforward. Star Wars? Avengers? Minions? Trolls? Piñata? Done! Whatever the theme requested to anchor the party, it was probably doable, right? But once the tween/teen years hit, things turn a corner and you may find yourself pining for the good ol’ days of predictable, even dare I say, cookie-cutter-type parties that wowed your kids when they were little. As mine sprouted from tot to teen, I realized the party was just going to have to change to simple but significant, something requiring grave circumspection. In short, my teens wanted to be recognized as young adults, to shed all childish fanfare. I’d wager that yours will probably feel somewhat the same. Here are a few things I learned in feting my teenagers over the years, which may help you strike the right tone each and every birthday: Insist on your teen making a gift list. It may sound babyish but it saves lots of heartache and disappointment. After a recent birthday, my teen lamented that lists were probably still a good idea. His comment reflected what we perceived: We thought we were hitting it out of the park in the gift department but, oh no, we failed. If your teen refuses to make a list, go easy on yourselves and opt for store credit. Or cash. There, I said it. Cash is always going to be fine with your teen. And when grandparents are eager to shower their affection, help them by advising against buying clothing for your teen. It rarely works, if ever.

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Build the suspense. Don’t tell everything. Hold back some details. Our daughter wanted a “family dinner” for her 15th and left all the planning and plotting to us. Without saying it, she was begging to be surprised, which put no small amount of pressure on her parents. In this case, we lucked out and struck the right tone, starting the evening off by giving her a dress she’d pointed out at her favorite store. Then, all dressed to the gills, we headed to a fancy restaurant. She felt like such a young lady in her new dress, showing up at a restaurant where reservations were made in her name. Pair your teen’s interest with an event. What is the one thing your teen loves to do more than anything else? Maybe it’s an intense interest or hobby? Think creatively about how you can celebrate it. Does your teen love soccer? Take her to a professional game. Does your teen love to cook? Buy cooking classes. Perhaps your teen is an aspiring writer? Or computer programmer? With a little digging around, you’ll probably find workshops and lectures in your area. Think the unthinkable. Keep in mind that your teen’s greatest wish for their birthday may be to get away, far away from you to visit their BFF who moved away. Gulp. Don’t take it personally! If it’s at all possible, arrange well in advance for a surprise weekend trip, searching long and hard for plane or train tickets. But when it’s not, bring those missed into the room by suddenly pulling up a prearranged FaceTime party meet-up. Trust me, the Happy Birthday song will sound so much better with a crowd of voices bellowing out of your computer accompanying those in the room.

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Party Primer

Skip the Sibs

continued from page 16

As soon as invitations go out, the “siblings welcome?” queries come in. And some parents will show up with their entire brood in tow. This stressful scenario stretches party budgets and hosts’ patience, because some parties are simply more enjoyable on a smaller scale. “We do small birthday parties at our house, and if a child comes with a sibling or two and both parents, the party triples in size for food, gift bags and activities,” says Gretchen Coulson Smith, mom of two. Party activities aren’t always well-suited to younger sibs, says Chang. Her parties can involve experiments with chemicals; though not toxic or dangerous, they’re not designed for toddlers. “We put a minimum age on those party invitations, for safety reasons,” she says. Avoid this sticky subject by clearly addressing paper invitations to the invited child, says Whitmore. This gets trickier for evites, which may Tiny Glitterati not allow senders to specify A top parental pet peeve: which child the invite is for. Supersized (or super-spendy) In those cases, a quick email soirees that make your casual or text with “We hope Ameila neighborhood cupcake-and-juice can attend Jake’s party!” fete look ho-hum by comparison. can spare an awkward “I’m tired of over-the-top back-and-forth later on. parties that make my kiddos On the other hand, “the wonder why we don’t spend five If your child has special needs or special dietary restrictions, let more the merrier” parents grand on their birthday,” says the party host know when you RSVP. When you’re the host, ask can let guests know that mom of three Lynne Williams. parents of children with special needs how you can make their sibs can attend with a simple child more comfortable; if you’re not sure which children may need “We went to one a few years ago “siblings welcome!” note on accommodations or special foods, check with your child’s teacher. that had two bouncy houses, Parents of children with restricted diets often assume that party the invitation. When you’re not hired entertainment, catered food will be off-limits to their child, and may bring their own; if party sure — because of limited space food, full bar, craft projects — all fare will be allergen-free, let parents know on the invitation. at your venue, for example — for a 3-year-old.” Party locales that tend to be accessible for guests with mobility write “please inquire about While budget size and guest limitations include children’s museums, bookstores (some have party siblings” to head off surprises. list are personal preferences, or meeting rooms), libraries, craft stores, and accessible parks and And if siblings aren’t on the you can skip some stress (and playgrounds. A simple park outing, arts-and-crafts party, or storytime guest list, consider making the save some green) by focusing celebration makes for a manageable soiree that’s enjoyable for all. party a “drop-off” celebration on party details your child (also, of course, indicated on will notice and remember. And the invitation); parents with consider this: It will be hard to young kids may not be able to stay for the party if they need to impress a teenager who’s received mega-parties since babyhood. keep their other children at home. One way to dial down the crazy is to only include activities many guests mistakenly consider RSVPs optional, says Whitmore. This leaves the party-planning parents to guesstimate the guest list, or track down and re-contact all invited guests’ parents about whether they’ll attend. And nobody has time for that. “It gets frustrating when people don’t reply at all, or respond ‘maybe’ but don’t update as to whether they’ll come or not,” says Raina Johnson, a mom of three boys. “If you’re fortunate enough to be invited to a party, respond as quickly as possible,” Whitmore says. Whether you can or can’t attend, respond to invites — including evites and text invites — within a week at the most. And if plans change and your child can’t attend, contact the host ASAP so the food, activities and party favors earmarked for your child can be re-purposed.

Special occasions: Festive fetes for every guest

and entertainment that can reasonably fit into a 90-minute party — roughly the party attention span of a kindergartener — with enough schedule space for cake and relaxed socializing. That means you don’t need the bounce house, band, slip n’ slide, pizza-making station and petting zoo. One to two “main event” activities, with a quieter option like crafting or coloring for overstimulated kiddos, is festive without feeling forced. Scale back on decorations, too, says mom of two Yin Chang, co-owner of a learning center that hosts STEM birthday parties. “Kids either completely ignore decorations, or they look at them for five seconds.”

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Goody Bags Gone Bad

Goody bags filled with dollar-store junk irk Amy Hussey, a mom of two, who says, “Keep it consumable so it doesn’t add to the clutter!” Or skip goody bags entirely — most families won’t miss them. If you just can’t abandon giveaways, consider a copy of the birthday child’s favorite book, a packet of seeds or a bulb to plant, a single can of Play-Doh, crayons and small notepad, or a take-home craft like a hair barrette or a bookmark. A party favor that fosters family time or quiet play after the excitement of a party will be welcomed by guests’ parents — who may be inspired to reciprocate when their child’s party rolls around.

Sane Soirees continued from page 17

When my son turned 8 this year, we let him have three friends sleep over the night before his at-home birthday party. We had invited close family members and a handful more of his friends to the party. This way, he got to play with his pals while his grandparents got to watch him open gifts and have a blast. And if you have tweens, pizza and a movie at home, followed by a sleepover, is a great bet. Instead of spending mega bucks on a specialty cake, bake cupcakes yourself and let the guests decorate their own with colored frostings, sprinkles, gumdrops and other candies. To take up some time and get some kid energy out on the cheap, consider a piñata. Otherwise, kids don’t need every minute of the day scheduled for them — running wild is what they are best at, especially at a birthday party! If you’re tired of your kid receiving so many gifts that you can’t even find a place to put them all, with your child’s permission, of course, consider asking guests to bring canned goods for a local food bank instead of gifts. Or you could have guests bring a book from home they don’t read much anymore, and do a book swap. Take your child on a special Birthday Date and talk about the day she was born. Write a letter to her every year letting her know how she’s grown as a person and what you love about her. Bottom line: I’m willing to bet that your child would much rather have your time than an extravagant, stressful party where you felt like 30 kids and their parents had to be invited. The most important thing is to make your child feel special on his special day.

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MOM matters

The view from up high A NEW-FOUND PERSPECTIVE FROM A PARENT’S EPIPHANY BY KATHRYN STREETER

spotted a bird across the street perched on the topmost branch of a tree. I wondered, what was she seeing? I wished to be there with that mama bird, to get up high above the trees so to better see where I’ve been and where I’m going. Truth is, the longer I’ve been a mom, the clearer are my failures. The blessing of perspective allows painful truths to emerge. Too often, I picked at blades of grass instead of getting up high. I’ve regarded myself as a good mom, yet as I’ve gained distance from the early days of babies and toddlers, preschool and elementary school, I can finally see.

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Like that mama bird sitting up high in the tree, I stand now as a humble mom of 17 years, better able to discern where I’ve been and where I’m going. My husband cautions me to take the long view as a mother of teens, but how I wish I had taken the long view from the beginning. When motherhood began long ago, the popular parenting manual helped my friends bring order to their newborn’s schedule: Sleep. Eat. Play. But my baby refused to neatly follow the espoused principles. Instead of making adjustments, I persevered. It wasn’t noble. It was stubborn. I refused to be defeated. I now wish I had comforted my firstborn more when she

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was crying. In retrospect, I missed the season of straightforward consoling because comforting a teenager is more complex. Today, I am taking the long view. I practice a more-grace-less-legalism approach. In no way do I want my kids to think that their behavior changes my love for them. Though my toddlers may have resisted naptime because they couldn’t settle down, they were enough. Though my teens may head directly to their room after school and shut their door to me, they are enough. Just as they are. Deep down I’ve always known that motherhood is mostly shooting in the dark. I also knew intellectually that there

wasn’t an equation for raising perfect kids, but sometimes I was flush with confidence in my particular way of doing things. One day I had an epiphany. I wasn’t just a teacher in this mom-child relationship. Motherhood had automatically enrolled me as her student, painful as it is beautiful. Certainly, this is one of life’s most unexpected gifts, the selfimprovement that stems from raising children. Deeper in is where the substance lies, the less-straightforward but relentless shaping and sharpening. The teen years promise personal growth. This season has a way of shaking foundations. Nothing is guaranteed. My inability to change mothering tactics to keep pace with their growth into young adults revealed I was not truly listening. It’s more than taking in the words, I learned. It’s getting up high like the mama bird to hear pleas or complaints in their fullest context. Teens don’t act out in a vacuum. In fact, they long to be understood. Readjusting my expectations didn’t come naturally. I’ve gradually come to appreciate that I held myself, as well

as my kids, to unrealistic standards. When my son was a toddler, he abruptly stopped eating his veggies. I needed his palate to change quickly. In today’s parenting climate, a child who refuses greens reflected poorly on me — and I panicked. When he entered his tweens, I finally consulted an older mom of three grown sons for advice. She questioned my plan to levy a $1 fine each time he refused greens, pointing to her husband in his mid-70s who still doesn’t eat his. She gently encouraged me to choose my battles carefully. Perhaps my relationship with my budding young man was far more important, she counseled. Looking back, it was critical that I listened. In fact, a weight fell off my shoulders that day. I gave myself permission to stop measuring my success as a mother by my son’s diet. I let go of an expectation that had long held me hostage and inhibited my pure enjoyment of him. Very slowly, I’ve learned to not beat myself up when I’ve fallen short of various expectations, themselves evidence that I was making motherhood more about myself than the raw acceptance of my kids.

Stepping out of the way isn’t easy. But we need to allow our children space to organically select their areas of interest. Projecting my aspirations on them through directing their enrichment activities early on could have hurt more than helped. At the end of the day, I know they will work harder and be happier if they are chasing their own dreams, not mine. One can’t stop the days from rolling rapidly by. Years ago, each day ended with bedtime stories. If motherhood is about any one thing, it’s about teaching the art of story-telling. When I’m doing this well, I’m letting the kids tell their own stories. This is their life, after all. Like that mama bird, I humbly revel from my view up high. It’s a place I’ve finally found where I can fully see.

Kathryn Streeter is a freelance writer whose stories have appeared in numerous publications. Her new-found perspective on parenting is an inspiration for mama birds everywhere.

November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

FAMILY man

Taming Turkey Time A CHEF’S 10-STEP GUIDE TO A TRULY ENJOYABLE THANKSGIVING DINNER BY PERRY PERKINS

B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

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he holidays are hands-down my favorite time of year, but it’s no secret that (especially for us foodies) they can come with a lot of kitchen chaos and performance anxiety. With so many dishes, so many people and so many “cherished family traditions” to uphold, it’s well-nigh impossible to make it through the season without at least some drama. If you come from an Italian family like mine, well… fugget about it! So, if we can’t avoid the chaos, let’s at least try to get a rope on it, right? Here are 10 tips to help you avoid enough of the crises of holiday entertaining to actually enjoy the food and family time — which, let’s face it, is really the whole point! 10. DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF. Does anyone really care if the tablecloth is ironed? Does anyone really care if their napkins are shaped like swans? Or if great-grandma’s silver is freshly polished? No, they don’t. They want to eat and laugh, and then eat some more! If you’re low on time (uh, who’s not?), and that cloth is really bugging you, just iron the corners and sides. Once all the dishes are in place, no one will see the wrinkles anyway. Also, have the kids help you set the table the night before. It’s one less thing to do.

9. HAVE A PLAN. • Sit down and make a guest list. • Plan your menu and decide if you’re doing all the cooking or if others will be bringing dishes, and make a checklist of all ingredients. • Create a complete shopping list, organized by aisle. • Take inventory of your dinnerware, kitchen tools and gadgets, spices and other staples in your pantry. (And don’t forget to count chairs!) We call it “mise en place,” and it means having everything prepared and in place before you start cooking … and, trust me, it will save you an all-inclusive stay at the funny farm! 8. LIGHTEN UP ON THE MENU! With the size of the feast on most of our tables, it really isn’t necessary to load your guests up on dips, snacks or appetizers. A platter of cut fresh veggies should do the trick, or maybe make the snacks and appetizers a potluck item. Also, don’t be afraid to look up simpler versions of classic holiday recipes. 7. HOLD A DRESS REHEARSAL. If you’re making a side dish for the first time or using ingredients you aren’t familiar with, try them out beforehand so you’ll be prepared for success on Thanksgiving Day. This is especially important if you’re pressing the young’ uns into service! (And you SHOULD be pressing the young’ uns into service!) No free rides, little Timmy! Ditto if you’re serving a new wine or using new equipment, like a brand-new oven or slow-cooker. There’s a time and place for culinary surprises… this ain’t it. 6. CLEAR OUT YOUR FRIDGE A WEEK IN ADVANCE. You’re going to be filling it up again pretty soon, so now is a good time to eat the leftovers, combine those four not-quite-empty pickle jars, and toss anything that tries to fight back. And clean off the counters! Martha Stewart isn’t going to be dropping by (Dear God, please) so clear away all those knickknacks, cookie jars and kitchen gadgets you’re not going to use. Think “industrial kitchen” and you’ll be headed in the right direction. Rule of thumb: If you’re not going to use it from Nov. 1 to Jan. 1, stick it in a closet. Better yet, get rid of some of it. Do you really need 11 whisks (hint: no, no you don’t)? Find a local shelter kitchen and make a donation!

5. GIVE YOURSELF A HEAD START. Do as much prep work as you can: Make salad dressings; chop onions and celery and store in resealable plastic bags in the fridge; top and tail green beans; make stock for gravy with roasted turkey wings or thighs. Potatoes can be peeled, halved and stored in cold water for 48 hours (in fact, it makes them better!). Make a list of everything you need to do, right up to digging in, and note how far in advance you can practically (and safely) check it off the list.

This isn’t Downton Abbey, folks, our guests can bring a couple of cans of olives.

4. DON’T BE AFRAID OF A POTLUCK. Most folks have a special holiday dish they’re proud of, so share the spotlight by letting them bring it. And if it’s good, make a big deal about it. You’ll never have to make it again! Keep a list of who’s bringing what so you don’t end up with six bowls of candied yams, and another list of suggested dishes with recipes for folks who vapor-lock when faced with a menu decision. If they’re really not up to it, a bottle of wine, a store-bought veggie plate or a couple of bags of ice are pretty hard to screw up. This isn’t Downton Abbey, folks, our guests can bring a couple of cans of olives. 3. SHOP EARLY (AND LATE!). When you’re just a couple of days out, you can safely buy most of your fresh ingredients. Onions, carrots, potatoes, celery, sweet potatoes, Brussels sprouts, green beans, potatoes and even fresh-looking salad greens will last until the big day provided you store them properly. DO NOT plan on doing any shopping on Thanksgiving Day. You don’t want any part of that nut-fest! Pick up cheeses and cured meats for an easy, no-prep appetizer to serve while you’re in the kitchen.

Full-contact grocery shopping not your thing? Mine neither — those little old ladies can get vicious — so here’s what I do: Find a good 24-hour grocery and hit it about 4 or 5am, do your shopping, then stop by your favorite coffee shop on the way home for a cuppa and a bagel. Make a plan with a friend to shop together. Taking an afternoon nap is a lot easier than running with the grocery-cart bulls on a holiday afternoon. 2. ASSIGN THE FINAL STEPS. If you have older children, nieces and nephews or in-laws that you CANNOT keep out of the kitchen (I commiserate, believe me), put ’em to work! Mother-in-law is in charge of the stuffing and getting it in the serving dish and to the table with a serving spoon. Cousin Fred is in charge of making sure everyone’s glass is full. Little Susie puts the rolls in the basket, gets the basket to the table, and makes butter dishes and knives available. Make it clear that once they have performed their job, they should take their seat at the table … because, you know, they’re guests. Which brings us to my most important step of all… 1. BE THANKFUL! This is what it’s about, peeps — not the turkey, not the pies and not about being the perfect host. Before you start cooking Thursday morning, find a quiet spot to sit for 20-30 minutes and reflect on what you have to be thankful for. Write these things down and note why you’re thankful for them. Keep that thought firmly in place as you ride into battle. Heck, tape the list to the fridge in case you need a reminder later. The secret to being a great host or hostess (and not sticking a meat-fork into your mother-in-law) is to do as much as you can in advance, and then not sweat the small stuff. If the yams burn, toss ’em out, turn on a fan and enjoy all the rest of the great food. If the turkey burns, have a number handy to order takeout. Talk! Laugh! Drink! Make memories! And, most of all be thankful. Remember: It isn’t about the turkey in the oven. It’s about all the turkeys around the table. Perry P. Perkins is a third-generation chef, culinary instructor and award-winning writer. Something tells us that an invitation to gather around his Thanksgiving table would definitely be one to accept.

November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

FAMILY health

Tweets, Texts & Emojis HOW TEXT-SPEAK IS DUMBING-DOWN KIDS’ DEVELOPMENT BY SANDI SCHWARTZ

ow did we get to a point in which our communication has become progressively shorter and shorter over time? On Twitter recently there was a hashtag asking people to tell a story in three words. Just. Three. Words. We have a president who prefers to write major statements about policy that impact the entire world on Twitter. When you are limited to only 140 characters (characters, not words!), how can anyone expect to really understand what he means? And when preteens and teens only “talk” to their friends using brief phrases and emojis, what are we left with? Here are five aspects of communication that are being sacrificed when our children grow up speaking and writing in phrases, which can only hinder their development over time:

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1. Emotional Connection and Expression. We use words to express our feelings to others about our observations, concerns and hopes. How will our children learn to do this if they are cutting out an enormous opportunity for verbal and written expression by dumbing-down the message? Researchers are assessing whether emoticons help us to communicate better or hinder self-expression. They have found that on one hand it is nice to have an international symbol for certain emotions that we can easily click on to say how we feel about a Facebook post, for example. However, emoticons convey a limited choice of emotions, reducing ways to truly express our full range of feelings. They also cut out the opportunity for people to use descriptive words to say how they feel because they provide a shorthand option to simply click on one image that is supposed to capture

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thoughts and feelings. This is unfortunately limiting opportunities for expression, and if our children grow up with this quick option, it will impact their ability to express their emotions. Additionally, when we hide behind our devices instead of talking face-to-face with those we love, we miss out on a major chance for emotional connection. According to Psychology Today, this kind of communication interferes with actual conversation and undermines our ability to connect with others. Social media actually becomes a barrier to connecting with others. As children are constantly exposed to these quick, impersonal ways of “expressing” themselves, they miss out on learning how to accurately convey their thoughts and feelings out loud as well as in writing. 2. Non-Verbal Communication. Nothing beats looking into someone’s eyes to

truly understand what he means and how he feels. A huge part of our daily communications depends on visual cues like facial expressions, body language, posture and tone of voice. In fact, studies show that only 7 percent of communication is based on the written or verbal word, while 93 percent is based on non-verbal body language. Sitting behind a screen and sending a few words or images is not going to help a person really understand how the person on the other end thinks and feels. As children spend more time in this world of snippets, they are losing the ability to pick up on these non-verbal expressions that can be so important in understanding others. UCLA scientists found that sixth-graders who went five days without using a smartphone, television or other digital screen did much better at understanding human emotions than those who spent several hours a day looking at their electronic devices. Patricia Greenfield, author of the study, explained that decreased sensitivity to emotional cues is lost when face-to-face social interaction is replaced with screen interaction. Learning how to read other people’s moods is a skill that takes a lot of practice. Sadly, children today are missing out on developing that skill. 3. Social Skills. Children and teens lose out on a slew of social skills when they only communicate in short statements online. Learning how to interact in person with others and to speak in public are critical skills for future success. Our kids need to practice these skills throughout their childhood to get ready for critical moments in their lives, like school presentations, college and job interviews, and making an announcement at a social event. In addition, other basic social skills are also being affected. In an article in Huffington Post, child psychologist Melissa Ortega pointed out how children are struggling to deal with face-to-face conflict because they are accustomed to hiding behind their screens to communicate. Ortega said that conversations take practice, and children are not getting enough interpersonal exposure. Experts are also seeing how this type of limited communication is influencing the dating world. Teens raised to just text and not hold a personal conversation are limited in how they can express their

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FAMILY health continued from page 29

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Sandi Schwartz is a parenting writer whose work has been featured in various publications. With her Happy Science Mom blog, she is on a personal mission to help parents raise happy, balanced children.

What Parents Can Do to Help

FREE TO ENTER!

feelings to their peers. The lack of direct communication is impacting their ability to build trust and develop an emotional connection with others. 4. Creative Language, Grammar and Spelling. Another place that brief communication is changing our children’s lives is in the classroom. The way kids are communicating online is creeping into their school work, leading to sloppy grammar, spelling mistakes and reduced creativity. The best literature throughout history is filled with embellished language and imaginative stories. If our children limit the number of words they use to tell a story or to debate an issue, the entire premise of communications changes. The Association of American Educators indicates that social media has led to students talking in “text-speak,” causing an overall trend of bad grammar, punctuation and spelling for the sake of convenience and speed. Also making it into coursework are abbreviations used on social media, which is clearly incorrect language. A paper released by the English Spelling Society concludes that the internet has revolutionized the English language and made spelling mistakes the norm. This is not a surprise since we now rely on crutches like auto-correct, which also reduces the level of thought required to write. 5. Meaning of Words. How many times have you misinterpreted what someone wrote in an email or text? So much can be lost in translation when we are unable to see or hear how the person is communicating specific words to us. If children are primarily communicating

with friends and family by typing phrases, that leaves many opportunities for the message to be misconstrued. This can lead to stressful situations because the reader may incorrectly jump to the conclusion that the writer intended to be hurtful, when in reality it was just how the words were interpreted. Brief communication can then lead to negative emotions like anger, depression or anxiety over how someone thinks they are being treated. As an example, an article in Forbes discussed how the instances of misinterpretation are growing in the business environment. As people are rushed, stressed and primarily communicating by quick electronic messages, they are not taking the time to consider the nuances of their writing. This is leading to more conflicts about the tone of emails. It is only worse with our children who are gossiping and making plans with friends in group texts using symbols and acronyms. How does someone really know what it means when the writer uses all capital letters? Are they yelling, joking or just highlighting an issue? When someone responds to you with a one- or two-word answer, does that mean they are brushing you off? With this type of communication, we are left to draw conclusions with very little information. If our children do not learn how to tell people exactly what they mean using complete sentences, will they ever be happy and successful?

A day doesn’t go by when we don’t hear suggestions for limiting our children’s screen time. We are all struggling to implement this in our homes. What else can we do to encourage our children to communicate more thoroughly and effectively? • Read every day with your children at all ages, but the real key is to also discuss what you are reading. Ask tons of questions and encourage your kids to summarize the stories. • Create games that involve developing a story together. For example, fill a jar with topics and then ask each family member to write or state three sentences. Keep building the story. • Teach your children how to debate and encourage them to join a debate team when they get older. • Ask your kids questions and encourage them to talk about how they feel. It is so important to set aside special times to have these deep conversations. • Encourage your children to journal so that they can practice expressing their thoughts and feelings in writing. Ask them what adjectives they used and challenge them to develop their thoughts even more. • Have fun analyzing each other’s or a stranger’s body language in person or on television. • Eat meals together as a family and include your children in conversations about all types of topics from how their day at school was to current affairs. • Provide public speaking opportunities for your children, even if it is something as simple as ordering their meal at a restaurant.

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SUPERHERO WEEKEND SATURDAY - MONDAY, NOVEMBER 9TH - 11TH 12:00 - 4:00 PM

U.S. M ilitary and V Personnel FREE W eterans ith Va lid ID

Families of active or retired military: 50% off regular admission 980 macarthur causeway, miami, fl 33132 · 305.373.KIDS(5437) · miamichildrensmuseum.org Miami Children’s Museum receives both private and public funding. MCM is sponsored in part by the City of Miami; the Miami-Dade County Department of Cultural Affairs and the Cultural Affairs Council, the Miami-Dade County Mayor and Board of County Commissioners; and the State of Florida, Department of State, Division of Cultural Affairs, the Florida Arts Council and the National Endowment for the Arts.

FOR KIDS OF ALL AGES!

Stories, Books, Authors, Music, Food, Fun

NOVEMBER 23-24 10 A.M. - 7 P.M. Miami Dade College Wolfson Campus 300 NE 2nd Avenue, Miami TICKETS:

• FREE for children 12 and under • $5 for youth 13-18 and seniors over age 62 • $10 general admission

For details and tickets visit MIAMIBOOKFAIR.COM November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

FAMILY dynamics

The Gender Dilemma WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR CHILD ASKS “WHAT ELSE IS THERE?” BY PAM MOORE

recently took my daughter to the restroom at a local health food restaurant in a progressive city. As you might expect, the restroom was not labeled “men,” “women,” “family,” or even just “restroom.” It was “all genders.” It didn’t occur to me to think about my daughter’s reaction to that term, given the potty emergency at hand. My daughter did not miss the sign, however. She asked, “What does ‘all genders’ mean?” “Well, it means, men, women, and … anyone who doesn’t identify as a man or a woman.” “But what else is there?” she asked. “Like, someone who just wants to identify as a person.” “But why can’t they just be a man or a woman.” “Like I said. They just want to be a person.” Back at our table, I whispered to my husband, “How do you explain non-binary gender to a kid?” Not surprisingly, given that my husband, myself and our two daughters are cisgender, the topic of gender had never come up until we saw the “all genders” sign. According to Trans Student Education Resource’s website, the word “cisgender,” from the Latin “cis,” meaning “on the same side,” is an adjective that describes someone who identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth. “For some people, the grown-ups guessed right about their body and their gender. This is called cisgender — when someone’s identity matches their sex assigned at birth,” according to Who Are You: The Kids Guide to Gender Identity, by Brook Pessin-Whedbee. My husband and I have certainly talked with our kids about bodies, private parts, and where babies come from. But those were conversations about sexuality, not gender. So I was caught off-guard by the “all genders” sign, and unsure of how to begin to explain it.

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When you talk about non-binary gender, talking about the gender binary is a good starting point, says Talcott Broadhead, author of Meet Polkadot, the illustrated story of a non-binary, transgender child. Broadhead explains that the gender binary refers to “who you should be, think, look, feel and act like” as a girl or as a boy. The problem with the traditional gender binary is that people don’t always fit neatly into a prescribed notion of what it feels like to be a boy or a girl. Pessin-Whedbee explains that the sex you’re assigned at birth, whether it’s male or female, may not match your gender. While your sex is based on your body parts, gender is an expression of who you are — including what you feel, what you like, how you dress and “who you know yourself to be.” In Pink is a Girl Color… and Other Silly Things People Say, author Stacy Drageset dispels some common myths for young readers. For example, ballet is not just for girls and anyone can

play basketball. Drageset explains that rather than choosing clothes based on whether they are “boy clothes” or “girl clothes,” it is more important to dress according to what you like and feel comfortable in. “There are lots of ways to be a boy. There are lots of ways to be a girl,” Pessin-Whedbee writes. “There are lots of ways to be a kid.” She lists a number of other ways in which people may choose to identify themselves, including trans, genderqueer, non-binary, gender fluid, transgender, gender neutral, agender, neutrois, bigender, third gender, and two-spirit. While Pessin-Whedbee refers to the gender spectrum as an alternative to the gender binary, Broadhead’s book does not. Broadhead, who uses the pronoun “they,” explained that the notion of a gender spectrum implies that male and female occupy distinct ends of a scale, whereas “they” feel gender is in fact too fluid and unique a concept to fit a linear model. They prefer the concept of gender diversity, which includes a gender universe, in which “we are each our own star.” Whether taking the approach of a gender spectrum or a gender universe, experts agree that you are the only one who gets to say who or what you are (with the caveat that the term “two-spirit” is specific to certain indigenous cultures.) Heather Thompson, a self-identified genderqueer person and advocate for “queer, trans, and non-binary folks,” recommends using everyday encounters to open conversations with children about gender. For example, when my 5-year-old asks me why our cashier has an earring “even though he’s a boy,” I can take the

opportunity to explain that you don’t actually know what a person is when you meet them. A mother herself, Thompson acknowledges that kids often understand a lot more than we give them credit for. “In my experience, they get the middle [of the gender spectrum],” she says, “they just didn’t know we could talk about it.” Certainly books like the ones mentioned can be great conversation starters, as well. For parents who are reluctant to open a dialogue about gender for fear of not having all the answers, or feeling that they should have opened the conversation earlier, Broadhead says it’s OK to say something like: “I’m sorry I wasn’t actually sharing everything I know about gender. You and I know a lot about our own gender and it makes sense to us and it’s who we are, but what I haven’t explained to you is that there’s actually a lot more genders.” And if they have questions you can’t answer, you can visit websites like the Trans Youth Equality Foundation (www.transyouthequality.org) or ask someone who would know. However, Broadhead cautions against cornering the trans parent at your child’s school in the pick-up line and interrogating her. “That’s obviously inappropriate.” And of course, dining in a restaurant with an “all genders” restroom sign can work quite well, too. Pam Moore is a freelance writer who helps women push through fear to become their best selves. She’s grateful for the public restroom that started a conversation about gender in her family.

November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

SPECIAL needs

App-titudes 8 GREAT APPS TO HELP KIDS MASTER SPECIFIC SKILLS BY TANNI HAAS

hildren with special needs are as diverse as any other kids, and there is a wide range of educational apps that can help them in their specific needs. Here are eight of the best, and they’re all free. If you’re a parent or caregiver of children with special needs, have them check the apps out and download the ones that are the most useful and fun. 1. CHATTERPIX KIDS - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play. This app is great for kids who need help practicing their oral communication skills. They can either upload or take a picture of themselves, draw a mouth, and then record what they want to say. It’s particularly useful if you’re having a difficult conversation at home and your kids find it easier to express their views through an avatar rather than directly to you. It can also be useful in school if your kids require extra time composing an answer to a teacher’s question. They can record and re-record their response until they get it just the way they want it. 2. COACH.ME - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play. Drawing on the latest psychological and behavioral research, this great app assumes that the key to achieving one’s goals is to develop good, consistent habits. Users decide which habits they’d

B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

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like to develop, track them over time, receive reminders, and then get positive feedback (high-fives) when they reach their goals. Depending on their age and maturity, your kids can either use this app on their own or with a little help from you. 3. EMOTIONARY - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play. If you want to help your kids better understand other people’s emotions, the best thing you can do is help them better understand their own. This app has more than 100 short, dictionary-style definitions of common emotions, each accompanied by an emoticon. This helps kids develop a rich vocabulary for expressing their emotions, and it teaches them coping skills so that they don’t become overwhelmed by their emotions. They can create their own emoticons for emotions they think aren’t included in the app but are really important to them. 4. IOT SESSION - Available at Apple App Store. Created by wellknown occupational therapist Dr. Frederick Covington, this app features lots of kid-friendly, game-like exercises aimed at improving the user’s visual perception, tracking and coordination. It also improves fine motor skills, especially kids’ ability to create proper letters. The app is used by occupational therapists everywhere, but

your kids can use it too, either on their own or with your help, to track their progress over time. 5. MINDSHIFT CBT - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play. Based on widely used cognitive behavioral therapy, this app teaches kids how to deal with different anxiety-provoking situations like conflicts, social situations and tests. It features tools that help users relax, practice mindfulness and re-orient their thoughts. It has audio recordings with guided meditations, a journal for users to record thoughts that make them the most anxious, and general tips for managing anxiety. 6. MODEL ME GOING PLACES 2 Available at Apple App Store. This social-skills app teaches kids how to interact with different kinds of people they encounter in their daily lives, such as grocery store clerks, hairdressers, doctors and waiters. It has 12-photo slideshows that model kids engaging in appropriate behaviors with people in different settings. 7. MY LITTLE SUITCASE - Available at Apple App Store. This game-like app, which can be played by up to four people, enhances kids’ ability to memorize and match items. Similar to the popular card game Memory, each player has a suitcase with six different items represented on a small card that is faced down. Players take turns turning the cards over. If the card is theirs, they put it in their suitcase. If not, it’s the next player’s turn. Aside from improving their working memory and retention skills, they learn how to focus, categorize and engage in proper turn-taking. It’s a great game for the whole family. 8. UNSTUCK - Available at Apple App Store, Google Play. This award-winning app helps users identify useful strategies when they’re having trouble trying to reach a specific goal. Kids are asked to explain in what way they’re stuck, how they feel about it and how strong those feelings are. It also tells them what percentage of other users and famous historical figures have faced similar issues. The app then generates possible solutions. Its biggest educational value, however, is letting kids put words to their feelings and showing them that they’re not alone in feeling the way they do. Tanni Haas, PhD, is a professor in the Department of Communication Arts, Sciences & Disorders at the City University of New York – Brooklyn College.

• FREE BOOK TO FREE FAMILY FUN! • FREE FACE PAINTING

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18th edition of the

TRICKY DOGS CIRCUS SHOW • MARCI POPPINS • JUGGLING • FANTASY FOREST ARTS & CRAFTS • FIRE TRUCK • FOOD TRUCKS • MEET LLAMA LLAMA, ELEPHANT & PIGGIE

COME IN COSTUME!

NOVEMBER 16th n 10 A.M. TO 4:30 P.M. Southwest REgional Library 16835 Sheridan Street, Pembroke Pines 33331 n 954-357-6580

6PM – 10PM Friday – Sunday | Nov. 29 – Dec. 1 Thursday – Sunday | Dec. 5 – Dec. 29 Experience the Palm Beach Zoo at night and enjoy:

∙ Special Animal Encounters ∙ Cookie Decorating ∙ Photos with Santa

Visit PalmBeachZoo.org to plan your adventure today.

November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

NovemberEvents HOW TO SUBMIT CALENDAR LISTINGS

Please e-mail listing information to events@browardfamilylife.com by the 5th of the month prior to the event date. Include the name of the event, location, address, date, time, brief description, price and telephone number for the public.

Sleeping Beauty

FALL FESTIVITIES Fall Wreaths

FRIDAY-SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 1-2

Use tissue paper, pre-cut leaves, glue and yarn to sculpt your own autumn wreath. Included with paid admission of $12/Broward resident. 10am-2pm, YOUNG AT ART MUSEUM, 751 SW 121 Ave., Davie, 954-424-0085 www.youngatartmuseum.org

Thanksgiving Movie WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 6

Bring the family to the library to watch a screening of Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. Noon, MAIN LIBRARY, 100 S. Andrews Ave., Fort Lauderdale, www.broward.org/library

Family Hayride & Campfire

FRIDAYS & SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 29 & 30

IT’S SHOWTIME! Magic Show

PARK, 20200 Saddle Club Rd., Weston,

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2

954-389-4321 www.westonfl.org

Be mystified as magician Gary Midnight presents an afternoon of illusion and magic. 1:30pm & 3pm, WESTON COMMUNITY CENTER, 20200 Saddle Club Rd., Weston, 954-389-4321 www.westonfl.org

The Magic School Bus: Lost in the Solar System

Cirque Mei

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3

See a stunning display of traditional and contemporary Chinese circus acts in this lively celebration that includes 40 elite circus artists and acrobats. $29 and up. 3pm, ADRIENNE ARSHT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS,

1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami, 305-949-6722 www.arshtcenter.org

Sunday Jazz Brunch SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 3

Community gathering along Riverwalk with musical entertainment on three different stages, food, and a great family ambiance. Pets welcome. Held regularly on the first Sunday of each month. Free. 11am-2pm, ESPLANADE PARK, 400 SW Second St., Ft. Lauderdale www.fortlauderdale.gov

Beauty and the Beast in Concert SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

The South Florida Symphony Orchestra performs the score of Disney’s animated classic during this live, family-friendly concert. $35-$75. 7pm, BROWARD CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS,

201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-462-0222 www.browardcenter.org

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 17

Go on an adventure with Ms. Frizzle as the Magic School Bus blasts into outer space for an epic interplanetary field trip. $13/adult, $11/child. 11am & 2pm, WILLOW THEATRE AT SUGAR SAND PARK, 300 Military Trail, Boca Raton, 561-347-3900 www.sugarsandpark.org

Disney Junior Holiday Party FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Sing and dance along with Mickey, Minnie, the Puppy Dog Pals and other Disney friends at this holiday extravaganza. $42.27 and up. 6pm, THE CENTER, 2855 Coral Springs Dr., Coral Springs, www.thecentercs.com

Sleeping Beauty

SATURDAY-SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 23-24

Fort Lauderdale Children’s Ballet Theatre performs a ballet version of this timeless fairytale. Saturday 12:30pm & 4:30pm, Sunday 12:30pm. BROWARD CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS, 201 SW Fifth Ave., Fort Lauderdale, 954-462-0222 www.browardcenter.org

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 30

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16

Relive the magic of Harry Potter on the big screen with an accompaniment by a symphonic orchestra. Recommended for ages 13 and older. $39 and up. 2pm & 8pm, ADRIENNE

Bring lawn chairs and a blanket for a flashback evening featuring live music by the Pixels - Retro ‘80s Experience. 7-10pm, WESTON REGIONAL

1300 Biscayne Blvd., Miami 305-949-6722 www.arshtcenter.org

WestonNights Outdoor Concert Series

B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

ARSHT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS,

| browardfamilylife.com

Take a hayride around the park and roast marshmallows around a campfire to make s’mores. Pre-registration and pre-payment required. $3.50/person. 6:30-9pm. www.broward.org/parks • Nov. 15, QUIET WATERS PARK, 401 S. Powerline Rd., Deerfield Beach, 954-357-5100 • Nov. 29, T.Y. PARK, 3300 N. Park Rd., Hollywood, 954-357-8811 • Nov. 30, MARKHAM PARK, 16001 W. State Rd. 84, Sunrise, 954-357-8868

Turkey Puppets

FRIDAY-SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15-16

Celebrate the fall season by creating a cute turkey puppet with an array of colorful feathers. Included with paid museum admission of $12/Broward resident. 10am-2pm, YOUNG AT ART MUSEUM, 751 SW 121 Ave., Davie, 954-424-0085 www.youngatartmuseum.org

Time for Turkey

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16

Kids ages 6-11 can create a festive craft for the holiday. Pre-registration required. 2-3pm, WEST REGIONAL LIBRARY, 8601 W. Broward Blvd., Plantation, 954-765-1585 www.broward.org/library

Thanksgiving Storytime THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 21

Toddlers can listen to stories, songs and rhymes about Thanksgiving then take a tour of the Fantasy Forest. Ages 12-36 months. 10:30am, SOUTHWEST REGIONAL LIBRARY, 16835 Sheridan St., Pembroke Pines, www.broward.org/library

Tamarac Turkey Trot THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 28

Put your running shoes on and get moving on Thanksgiving morning for the Annual Turkey Trot 5K Run. Runners receive a finisher medal. 7:30am, TAMARAC CITY HALL, 7525 NW 88 Ave., Tamarac, www.runsignup.com

Turkey Trot

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 28

Shed some calories before the big meal at this 5K walk/run at 7:30am, with a kids’ dash at 8:30am, DC ALEXANDER PARK, 501 S. Fort Lauderdale Beach Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, www.turkeytrotftl.com

FAIRS, FESTIVALS & SPECIAL EVENTS Fort Lauderdale International Boat Show WEDNESDAY-SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30-NOVEMBER 3

Displays of yachts and marine accessories, plus fishing clinics for kids. VARIOUS SITES IN FORT LAUDERDALE, 954-463-6762 www.flibs.com

Gamer Comic Expo

FRIDAY-SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 8-10

Immense gaming tournament and comic convention featuring games, comics, anime, cosplay fashion show, vendors and meet and greets. Friday noon-8pm, Saturday 10am-8pm, Sunday 10am-5pm. BROWARD COUNTY CONVENTION CENTER, 1950 Eisenhower Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, www.gamercomicexpo.com

Festival of Lights

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

Celebrate Diwali, the Indian Festival of Lights at this festival featuring Bollywood and Indian folk dancing, music, art, traditional clothing, authentic cuisine, a kids’ corner and more. Noon-10pm, BROWARD COUNTY CONVENTION CENTER, 1950 Eisenhower Blvd., 954-543-1539 www.irccflorida.com

South Florida Oceanfest SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

This festival aims to spread awareness about marine conservation issues though interactive

Storybook Festival

activities including games, prizes, ocean exploration and education, a mermaid photo opp, an Artisans’ Village and more. Free. 10am-3pm, ANNE KOLB NATURE CENTER, 751 Sheridan St., Hollywood, www.broward.org/parks

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 16

A children’s wonderland of storytelling, character appearances, live shows, crafts and more to inspire the imagination. Free. 10am-4:30pm, SOUTHWEST REGIONAL LIBRARY, 16835 Sheridan St., Pembroke Pines, 954-357-6580 www.broward.org/library

Hawaii Festival

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

Cultural Festival

A luau for all ages with Hawaiian food, games, live music, performances and more. 2-6pm, MICKEL PARK, 2675 NW Seventh Ave., Wilton Manors, www.wiltonmanors.com

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 22

Celebrate the community’s diversity with children’s activities, live music, multi-ethnic foods and more. Free. 5:30-9pm, SUNRISE CIVIC CENTER AMPHITHEATER, 10610 W. Oakland Park Blvd., Sunrise, 954-747-4600 www.sunrisefl.gov

SwampFest Bluegrass Music Festival SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

Festival features a lineup of live bluegrass music and a jam tent where you can bring your own instrument and join the fun. $19.95/adult, $12.95/ages 3-11. 10am-4:30pm, FLAMINGO GARDENS, 3750 S. Flamingo Rd., Davie, 954-473-2955 www.flamingogardens.org

Winterfest Family Fun Day

Jamaican Jerk Festival

Santa’s Enchanted Forest

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 24

Celebrate the upcoming winter season with free activities and fun. 10am-3pm, HUIZENGA PLAZA, 32 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-767-0686 www.winterfestparade.com

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10

A celebration of authentic Jamaican traditions, featuring a jerk cook-off, cultural displays, live entertainment and kids’ fun zone. $30. 10am-10pm, MIRAMAR REGIONAL PARK, 16801 Miramar Parkway, Miramar, 754-273-9166 www.jerkfestival.com

ONGOING THROUGH JANUARY 5

Lights, rides, food, games, entertainment and more make this holiday wonderland glow. TROPICAL PARK, corner of Bird Road and the Palmetto Expressway, Miami, 305-559-9689 www.santasenchantedforest.com

COMMUNITY ACTIVITIES Rock the Park

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 1

Listen to a live outdoor concert while perusing a variety of dinner options from the food trucks. Trucks start serving at 6pm; music begins at 7pm. CENTRAL PARK, 9151 NW Second St., Plantation, 954-452-2510 www.plantation.org

Moonlight Movie in the Park

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2

Bring blankets and lawn chairs to watch an outdoor screening of Ralph Breaks the Internet. 7:30pm, WESTON REGIONAL PARK, 20200 Saddle Club Rd., Weston, www.westonfl.org

Free First Thursdays Starry Nights THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 7

Enjoy free admission to exhibitions and hands-on art projects for all ages. 4–8pm, NSU ART MUSEUM FORT LAUDERDALE, One E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-262-0258, www.nsuartmuseum.org

Artfull Saturday

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9

Experience art together as you make your own dream catcher in this monthly family workshop. $5. Space limited; reservations required. 3pm, CORAL SPRINGS MUSEUM OF ART, 2855 Coral Springs Dr.,

Coral Springs, 954-340-5000 www.coralspringsmuseum.org

Camelot Days

SATURDAYS-SUNDAYS, NOVEMBER 9-10 & 16-17

A kingdom full of musicians, artisans, eateries, knights and jesters, living chess game, rides, games, jousting and more. $15/adult, $3/child. 10am-5:30pm, T.Y. PARK, 3300 N. Park Rd., Hollywood, 954-357-8811 www. camelotdays.com

South Florida Cyclefest SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 10

Cyclists of all levels can join others in the community for a 50K and 100K looped ride. Pre-registration required. 7:30am-4pm, C.B. SMITH PARK, 900 N. Flamingo Rd., Pembroke Pines, 954-357-5170 www.velosportsevents.com

Light Up Lauderdale THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 14

This family-friendly kickoff to the holiday season features music, activities, vendors and more. 6-8:30pm, ESPLANADE PARK, 400 SW Second St. and along the downtown Riverwalk, Fort Lauderdale, www.fortlauderdale.gov

Teen Recycled Fashion Show

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 15

Teens take to the runway to showcase

original designs created by teen volunteers and fashioned from recycled and repurposed materials. Proceeds support YAA’s initiatives serving at-risk teens. $45. 7-11pm, YOUNG AT ART MUSEUM, 751 SW 121 Ave., Davie, 954-424-0085 www.youngatartmuseum.org

Super Family Sleepover

CENTER/HOLLYWOOD, 1650 Harrison

St., Hollywood, 954-921-3274

Sleep at the Museum SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 23

It’s an overnight Frozen-themed adventure with a subzero science show, activities, an IMAX screening of Frozen and more. 6:30pm-8am, MUSEUM OF DISCOVERY AND SCIENCE, 401 SW Second St.,

FRIDAY-SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15-16

Fort Lauderdale, 954-467-6637 www.mods.org

Bring the family for an overnight adventure featuring the science of superpowers. 7pm-8am, SOUTH

Holiday Fantasy of Lights

FLORIDA SCIENCE CENTER AND AQUARIUM, 4801 Dreher Trail N., West

Palm Beach, 561-832-1988

Holiday Craft Show and Green Fair SATURDAY-SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 16-17

Green displays, entertainment, presentations and a Kids Korner with crafts. Free. 9am-4pm, BERGERON RODEO GROUNDS, 4271 Davie Rd., Davie, 954-797-1181 www.davie-fl.gov

Free Arts! Family Day

NOVEMBER 27-DECEMBER 31

A spectacular drive-through display of illuminated trees and animated figures.$18/car. 6-9pm, TRADEWINDS PARK, 3600 W. Sample Rd., Coconut Creek, 954-357-8870 www.holidaylightsdrivethru.com

WANT MORE FUN? For additional local events, check our online calendar at www.browardfamilylife.com

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 17

Kids can explore the museum and participate in hands-on activities during this fun-filled family day. Free. Noon-4pm, ART AND CULTURE

Every effort has been made to provide accurate information. Changes and cancellations do occur. Please double check the details before setting out on your adventure.

November 2019 | B R O W A R D F A M I LY L I F E

WORDS of wisdom

Happy Thanks“living” THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE GRATEFUL FOR IN YOUR KIDS' SHENANIGANS BY PAM MOORE

hen parents think of the things we’re grateful for, our kids generally make the top of the list. That said, when you notice the “creative” way in which they’ve taken a ballpoint pen to the couch cushions, that river of gratitude suddenly dries right up. With Thanksgiving approaching, it might be helpful to “re-frame” the way we view our kids’ shenanigans (e.g., their tendency to act like kids who, by nature, possess underdeveloped brains). Even when your kid is a millimeter away from destroying your last nerve, there’s still much to be grateful for, as demonstrated in these common scenarios: YOU ASK YOUR KID TO FIND HER SHOES. She stares at her coloring book as if in a trance. You stand two inches from her face and say: “I’m talking to you. It’s time to find your shoes. We are leaving.” She ignores you. Two minutes later, you tell her to get her shoes on. She says OK but remains glued to said coloring book. You put your coat on and say through gritted teeth: “I’m not going to tell you again. Get your shoes on. It’s time to go.” Through sobs, she proclaims, “I’m in the middle of something.” Be grateful for: Your child’s capacity to focus. Bonus: She might put her superior power of concentration to use when selecting your nursing home. YOUR KID IS ASKING YOU FOR A SNACK. You tell her she’s going to have to wait a minute, you’re in the middle of something. She responds by telling you exactly what kind of snack she’d like. “I need Goldfish. The cheddar kind. And they need to be in the purple ramekin.” You thought you had a 5-year-old, not a rock star with an event rider. Visions of bedtime dance in your mind. You say, “What would be a nicer way to ask?” Matching your saccharine request, she complies: “Can I please have cheddar Goldfish in the purple ramekin? And also I want more than my sister. Please.” Be grateful for: Your child’s ability to know what she wants. This child will not need you to call her professor or landlord on her behalf 20 years from now. THE SCHOOL BUS ARRIVES IN 10 MINUTES. Your child says she is ready. But yesterday’s French braid is hanging on by a few tenacious wisps. She’s in a floral tank top, a tutu

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and leopard-print leggings. She has on non-matching socks and her sparkly Velcro sneakers. “But…” You stop before you complete the sentence with “you look homeless” because you don’t know how to say it nicely. She is fully dressed, though. She’s wearing sneakers on P.E. day. Her teeth are brushed. “Do you feel good in that outfit?” you ask. She nods, beaming. Be grateful for: The fact that your kid thinks for herself. If she knows what the other kids are wearing, she clearly does not care. With any luck, 10 years from now she won’t be blowing her allowance on the latest trend. There is always something to be grateful for if you look hard enough. As parents, it’s important to remember, how you view a situation depends on where you stand (and, of course, how loudly your kid is whining). Pam Moore is a freelance writer who considers motherhood to be the greatest test of endurance — and the greatest joy.