Thursday, November 20, 2003 by The Brown Daily Herald

T H U R S D A Y NOVEMBER 20, 2003

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD Volume CXXXVIII, No. 118

An independent newspaper serving the Brown community since 1891

Crime alert released after two nights of robberies

UCS tables universal needblind after twohour debate BY KRISTA HACHEY

In a heated two-hour debate Wednesday night, the Undergraduate Council of Students tackled a resolution for a universal need-blind admission policy for the second week in a row, but once again tabled the document for further consideration. Council members Ilena Frangista ’06 and Sonia Gupta ‘06, authors of the resolution, acknowledged the success of Brown’s new need-blind policy during the 2007 admissions process. Through the resolution, the council members said they wanted to stress the fact that the need-blind policy is not extended to international, Resumed Undergraduate Education or transfer applicants to the University. The document states that UCS “recognizes a distinct value in the development of a Universal Need Blind Admission Policy,” and that funds should originate from President Ruth Simmons’ Capital Campaign. To some council members, the initial document implied that to UCS a universal need-blind policy supersedes all other priorities and that the body would condone cutting funds in one area to boost this financial endeavor. “The bottom line is we live in the real world and there are limited funds,” said Student Activities Chair Rob Montz ’05. “Funding for this policy would take away from other things and so far in this debate, no one has given reasons why this policy is more important than other domestic issues like student loans.” Numerous representatives supporting the resolution highlighted the desire to increase international donors, diversity and Brown’s competitiveness as key reasons for UCS to remind the administration of how the current policy should be further developed. “One important goal of this resolution is to look out for the financial future of the University and get alumni excited

BY ZACH BARTER

Marissa Hauptman / Herald

When asked how he was able to find his own voice as a writer, Alfred Uhry ’58 said, "It requires thinking, being alone, pacing and drinking too much wine to figure out what everything means to you."

‘Driving Miss Daisy’ scribe speaks of honesty BY KATE CUSHING

Alfred Uhry ’58, the only playwright to ever win theater’s triple crown — the Oscar, the Tony and the Pulitzer Prize — advised students to be honest Wednesday night. Uhry offered aspiring writers in the Salomon crowd some insight into the theater industry and discussed the highlights and low points of his career, from receiving awards to cancelled productions. “Tell the truth. As far as I know, that is the only secret to good writing,” Uhry

see UCS, page 8

New U. online registration system works well for other schools BY ROBBIE COREY-BOULET

Despite minor transitional glitches, other universities report that the Banner online registration program, a system Brown is considering adopting, improves the registration process. Many schools have switched to Banner in the last few years, and University Registrar Michael Pesta referred to the system as “probably one of the two most popular student systems in the country.” The Registrar’s Office at Brown is currently considering a switch to Banner, an online service that allows students and

faculty to register for classes, input and view grades and order transcripts from any computer with an Internet connection. The process of adopting the system at Brown is in its early stages, Pesta said. Administrators will meet with SCT, the technology corporation that offers the Banner system, sometime in December to establish a timeline for the project. Pesta said he expects the business process analysis phase of the project to begin in January, allowing the Registrar’s

said, in his Brown Hillel-sponsored lecture. Perhaps most famous for the Oscarwinning “Driving Miss Daisy,” Uhry said his career did not start out with the success he has since enjoyed. In 1968, his first attempt at a stage production, a musical version of “East of Eden,” met with harsh criticism. “The reviews were god-awful,” Uhry said. “Word has it that the bad reviews were on the newsstand before the play was even over.” The early failure taught Uhry to be personally invested in one’s work to succeed. Now, he writes about what he knows and what is important to him. “In retrospect I think I was desperate to be a professional Broadway writer,” he said. “I had no personal connection to ‘East of Eden.’” Uhry, who grew up in Atlanta, described himself as a “sort of a dreamy, weird kid.” A child of many interests, “I was never able to be pigeon-holed. … I was from a very straight-laced Southern family and they did not know what to make of me,” he said. But it wasn’t until he enrolled in a tutorial theater class at Brown that Uhry’s life changed. “I always liked going to the theater but I didn’t think that I would be involved in it. I discovered in that theater class that it was what I wanted to do

see ONLINE, page 6 see UHRY, page 7

I N S I D E T H U R S D AY, N O V E M B E R 2 0 , 2 0 0 3 RISD Public Safety officers want, but may not receive, more training RISD news, page 3

www.browndailyherald.com

RISD facultyadministration negotiations drag on longer than expected RISD news, page 3

Sex Power God posters are pornographic and should be censored, Beale ’04 says column, page 11

When fourth-floor Sears resident Meghan Gourley ’05 went to sleep Sunday night, she was unaware that the night before, a burglar had entered the unlocked rooms of three sleeping students on the building’s first floor. At 5:30 a.m. Monday morning, she awoke to find the burglar sneaking into her room. The door to her suite had been propped open. Gourley, who had forgotten to relock her room door after going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, said she might have been more cautious had she known of the previous night’s incidents. “If (the Department of Public Safety) had issued a crime report, I’m sure we would have closed our common door,” Gourley said. A DPS e-mail sent to the campus community Monday afternoon described four incidents “that occurred … late Saturday evening, Nov. 16, 2003, into Sunday morning, Nov. 17, 2003.” DPS officials would not offer details on why the alert had not been sent out Sunday or why it did not distinguish between the two nights’ incidents. “I wasn’t called in, so I came in Monday morning and the crime alert went out,” said DPS Officer Mark Perry, who wrote the alert. Perry said he would not speculate on whether the Sunday night break-in could have been prevented had the e-mail gone out sooner. “There are going to be people who leave their doors unlocked no matter what we say, unfortunately,” Perry said. DPS officials referred additional questions to the Brown News Service. When reached for comment, Tracie Sweeney, senior associate director of the news service, said she did not know why the alert did not go out until Monday or why it did not mention that the break-ins occurred on two nights. DPS investigators would also not comment on the status of the investigation. Gourley described the intruder to police as a college-age male of medium build with short brown hair. The crime alert said the suspect was wearing sweatpants or pajamas. Gourley said she felt safe on campus before the incident and still feels safe after. “I think there are crimes in the world no matter where you are,” Gourley said. “I’m not going to let this one event sour my feeling of safety.” But Gourley said the break-in offers a lesson for students, especially females. “You just have to take that extra measure of caution,” she said. Herald senior staff writer Zach Barter ’06 covers crime. He can be reached at zbarter@browndailyherald.com.

TO D AY ’ S F O R E C A S T Someone please find Dennis Kucinich a life, Baron YoungSmith ’06 says column, page 11

Men’s basketball team crushed by 11thranked Texas in a 8951 loss sports, page 12

rain high 58 low 43

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

THIS MORNING THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003 · PAGE 2 Coup de Grace Grace Farris

W E AT H E R THURSDAY

FRIDAY

High 58 Low 43 rain

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

High 59 Low 45 cloudy

High 55 Low 43 cloudy

High 59 Low 45 wind

GRAPHICS BY TED WU

A Story of Monk Scott Yi and Eddie Ahn

MENU THE RATTY LUNCH — Vegetarian Squash Bisque, Chicken Soup with Tortellini, Chicken Pot Pie, Vegetable Tortilla Lasagna, Mandarin Blend Vegetables, Dateen Cookies, Chocolate Mousse Torte Cake, Cranapple Crisp

V-DUB LUNCH — Vegetarian Escarole & Bean Soup, Beef Vegetable Soup, Beef Pot Pie, Vegan Stuffed Peppers, Zucchini & Summer Squash, Dateen Cookies

DINNER — Vegetarian Squash Bisque, Chicken Soup with Tortellini, Veal Parmesan, Pot Roast Jardiniere, Cheese Ravioli with Meat or Meatless Sauce, Parsley Potatoes, Green Beans with Tri-Colored Peppers, Whole Kernel Corn, Focaccia with Mixed Herbs, Dateen Cookies, Chocolate Mousse Torte Cake, Cranapple Crisp

DINNER — Vegetarian Escarole & Bean Soup, Beef Vegetable Soup, Meatloaf with Mushroom Sauce, Vegan Spaghetti Puttanesca, Mashed Red Potatoes with Garlic, Spinach with Lemon, Belgium Carrots, Foccacia with Mixed Herbs, Chocolate Mousse Torte Cake

Greg and Todd’s Awesome Comic Greg Shilling and Todd Goldstein

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 Song syllables 6 High points 11 Chatterer’s comment 14 A4 and A6 15 Insect sound 16 “Norma __” 17 Trifling sum 19 Portland’s st. 20 Its top may be twisted off 21 Time to give up? 22 Hardened 24 Bug’s cry, in an ad 26 Nervous 28 White rat, e.g. 31 Deep dish 32 Loud 33 Sidney who portrayed 7Down 34 Tape type 37 Pelt 38 Bit of decency 39 Funny thing, slangily 40 Cape Tres Puntas locale: Abbr. 41 Innundate 42 Use a divining rod 43 Willing subject? 45 Fashionable fliers 46 Nods off 48 Places for prices 49 With room to spare 50 Took after 52 Shells, e.g. 56 NATO member since ’99 57 Crown protection 60 Gay Nineties, for one 61 Heep of fiction 62 Didn’t just sit there 63 Study 64 Ballpark levels 65 1936 Cooper role DOWN 1 __ Bell 2 Essen’s valley

3 Together, on a score 4 Stretch in a stretch 5 Nile reptile 6 Was sore 7 Vintage-movie detective 8 Derby specialty 9 Bit of work 10 Haunting image 11 Cause of a separation 12 Harder to hunt down 13 Like the whistling wind 18 Pitcher’s prize? 23 Finished a course, say 25 One or more 27 Plenty mad 28 Turkish title 29 Animal abode 30 Treasurer’s responsibility 31 Crooner Mel 33 “Not true!” 35 Socks 36 Editor’s change of heart 38 Trade 1

39 Cajun condiment 41 “Don’t move” 42 MD’s wall hanging 44 NBC staple since 1975 45 Green gem 46 Like Dracula 47 Love, in Lombardy 48 Lab workers

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P T H R O I E M A C R O W I O R A S O R T O H D T W A I A N T A C U P O T M O N A L A T L I A O R

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Hopeless Edwin Chang

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Penguiener by Haan Lee

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O U L S D E

11/20/03

xwordeditor@aol.com

D I S H E S

My Best Effort William Newman all by himself

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE: P L A S M A

51 Early late-night host 53 A word for one begins 17- and 57-Across, and 11- and 30Down 54 TV palomino 55 Track numbers 58 Jackie’s second 59 Flit about

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11/20/03

ganwyn sez: my end if near, i fear,

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RISD NEWS THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003 · PAGE 3

RISD Public Safety wants police powers BY DANA GOLDSTEIN

Some RISD Public Safety officers think they can’t be effective without official police powers, despite an external review of the department last year that expanded officer training. In the wake of the audit and this semester’s increase in street crime on College Hill, both administrators and officers are asking whether RISD should establish a more traditional police department. Executive Vice President of Administration and Finance Jeff Apfel said the possibility of training public safety officers to be police is under “active consideration” following the audit, conducted by the International Association of Campus Law Enforcement Administrators. The administration is “exploring the issue of whether we would want to have some or all of our officers get police powers,” Apfel said. “It’s more likely that we would start small.” RISD Public Safety Officer Josh Mello said he finds himself in situations “every single day” where police powers would help him do his job better or faster. Even something as simple as dealing with a parking violation would be easier if he were a police officer and could run a license plate number through an electronic database to find the name of the car’s owner, Mello said. Public safety officers can respond to all sorts of calls, but may not make arrests, sign off on car insurance claims at accident scenes or use their car sirens when driving to crime scenes. They carry pepper spray and use handcuffs under some circumstances. “When we go to an assault call or a violent crime, we cannot respond with out lights and sirens,” Mello said, adding that public safety officers are only allowed to use their sirens when responding to fires or medical emergencies. “Basically, the Public Safety Department is an emergency medical service, and we happen to do security too,” he said. Cathy Masapollo, assistant director of the Department of Public Safety, acknowledged that RISD officers often find themselves in tough situations when responding to calls. “They unfortunately deal with a lot of criminals, a lot of dangerous people,” she said. “They do have an interest (in becoming police officers).” Currently, the public safety officers receive two weeks of training at an academy run by a group of Rhode Island colleges. Brown, which has an autonomous

police department, is not one of them. Mello said the public safety officers receive training in hand-to-hand combat, handcuffing and a variety of other methods for detaining violent criminals until police officers arrive to make an arrest. Public Safety Officer Tony LeDoux said that despite this training, detaining perpetrators is not easy. “We can’t process them ourselves, we have to call for Providence Police, we’re stuck with these people,” he said, adding that the Providence Police sometimes take “two hours to come, if they even bother to show up.” Both LeDoux and Mello said they were hungry for more training. Since the audit, the department has begun giving officers supplemental training in diversity issues, deescalating violent behavior and rape aggression defense, Masapollo said. In addition, all officers are being trained as Emergency Medical Technicians. These changes were implemented in response to the audit, Apfel said. But Apfel said that despite the safety issues inherent to an urban campus, “I don’t think it’s a given whether a small college in an urban area is required to have police power.”

He called the Providence Police RISD’s “fundamental safety shield” and expressed concern that RISD might, in the future, have to deal with the controversial decision of whether or not to arm a campus police force. Apfel said he understands why, in certain cases, public safety officers might think, “Oh, if I had police powers, I could deal with this in another way.” It is important, he said, that the officers continue to respond to situation without overstepping their bounds. “It’s really a question of appropriateness and clarity,” he said. “If they are in fact still security officers, they need to deal with situations as security officers.” Masapollo said another factor blocking a possible transition from public safety to police is the high cost of sending officers to the police academy and maintaining a highly trained staff. LeDoux said the department already has high standards in its hiring process. “We have really good people here,” he said. “A lot of us have college degrees in this field, criminal justice. … We definitely have the qualifications to go police academies.” see RISD, page 4

Faculty contract negotiations continue BY MICHAEL RUDERMAN

Contract negotiations between RISD faculty members and the administration are still underway, despite having been slated for completion in September. “The negotiations have gone on longer than we want,” said RISD Director of External Relations Ann Hudner. The faculty voted to approve “a mutual extension” so they can continue working on negotiations, she said. The faculty association and members of the administration met most recently on Monday. The two sides will meet again Saturday for a daylong meeting, Hudner said. Saturday’s meeting is one of three more meetings scheduled. Hudner said she expects the contract negotiations to reach an end by December, but “they need to run their course.” She said the extension of negotiations see FACULTY, page 4

Actor, playwright draws laughs at RISD/Brown series BY ELISE BARAN

Live theater offers audiences an experience television and movies cannot, acclaimed actor and playwright Eric Bogosian told a packed Leeds Theatre. RISD and Brown collaborated to bring Bogosian to Providence Nov. 13 to perform and take questions as part of the first annual RISD-Brown Performance Art Series. In the solo show Bogosian performed for 20 years, he played 12 characters in each performance, ranging from a drugdealing biker to a caricature of Rush Limbaugh. As the show evolved, he ended up portraying about 90 characters in total. After Sept. 11, 2001, Bogosian said he realized he had been performing the solo show because it was “lucrative” for him, not because he enjoyed it, and he stopped touring. Bogosian got the idea for his show from doing voice exercises into a tape recorder. When he played back his exer-

cises, he heard the voices of several entertaining, genuine characters, he said. In the show, Bogosian had to change from one character to another in a moment. He said he enjoys the challenge of this quick shifting. He also finds his loud, fast-talking characters the most entertaining to portray. He enjoys the characters because they “take me to my limits,” he said. Bogosian gave the audience in Leeds a taste of his show. He began with the introduction to his play “Wake Up and Smell the Coffee.” His cynical rant about the futility of trying to change people produced laughs from some of the audience, mild disapproval from others. Bogosian also performed from his favorite play, “Pounding Nails in the Floor with My Forehead,” which he wrote in 1994. He portrayed the first two characters from this play — a Rush Limbaugh-like character reminiscing about the 1950s

and a homeless man making fun of the wealthy commuters who share his car on the subway. While both skits presented fundamental flaws of society, they made the audience laugh. After the show, one audience member asked Bogosian what part of American culture he found the most disturbing. Bogosian replied that he is unsettled by “the way we can collectively have minor needs and impact others in a way we don’t think about.” One advantage of live theater Bogosian emphasized was that it had nothing to do with television or movies. The audience is able to connect to an actor in a theater on a higher level than an actor in a film, he said. “Theater is a miraculous experience,” he said. Herald staff writer Elise Baran ’07 can be reached at ebaran@browndailyherald.com.

PAGE 4 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003

ganwyn is coming out of the closet. he pines for rufus, and rufus only.

Faculty continued from page 3 is not out of the ordinary and that RISD students should not be worried that the current impasse will compromise their education. “There are always going to be one or two radical people who are trying to charge the masses,” Hudner said. Hudner would not discuss the issues that are creating conflict between the two sides, as both sides have agreed to keep discussions private. A member of the administrative side, Associate Vice President of Human Resources Jean Hood, declined to comment on the negotiations. RISD faculty contracts come up for re-negotiation every three years. Herald staff writer Michael Ruderman ’07 can be reached at mruderman@browndailyherald.com.

RISD continued from page 3 RISD students often expect public safety officers to have police powers and are disappointed when the officers cannot respond to calls without referring them to the Providence Police, LeDoux said. “We don’t want police powers so we can arrest our own students,” Mello said. “We want to protect them.” “We just want to be equal to how Brown is,” LeDoux said. “To have the power to do our job and not pawn it off to the Providence Police.” Herald senior staff writer Dana Goldstein ’06 can be reached at dgoldstein@browndailyherald.c om.

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

CAMPUS NEWS THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003 · PAGE 5

Texas Rangers broadcaster got his start at WBRU BY LELA SPIELBERG

Marissa Hauptman / Herald

Jared Ano '04 and Michal Kapitulnik '04.5 sold hot cocoa on the Main Green Wednesday, raising money to send a friend home to Atlanta.

When a seven-year-old Eric Nadel ’72 heard the Yankees’ play-by-play announcers on the radio for the first time, he asked his father, “Do they get paid for that?” Over 40 years later, Nadel is celebrating his 25th season as a member of the Texas Rangers broadcasting team. But it wasn’t easy to get there, Nadel told The Herald. Nadel, a New Yorker, started his broadcasting career the summer before his first year at Brown. He disc-jockeyed with a friend at a local radio station in Hope, Ark. As soon as Nadel enrolled at Brown, he got involved with WBRU. “It has a reputation as one of the best college radio stations in the country,” Nadel said. Although Nadel was active in his fraternity, Delta Phi Omega, he spent most of his time at the radio station, where he learned a lot from the upperclassmen, he said. One of Nadel’s mentors was Chip Babcock ’71, the lawyer who defended Oprah Winfrey in 1998 when she was accused of slandering the cattle industry. Babcock taught Nadel how to call play-byplay at football games. Nadel also credits former Brown Professor James Barnhill for his success. Barnhill’s class, “Voice and Diction,” helped Nadel get rid of his Brooklyn see RANGERS, page 8

b row n d a i l y h e ra l d L E C T U R E

S E R I E S

Steven Brill “Doing Journalism: Why It’s Important, Why It’s Under Siege, How To Succeed, How to Screw it Up, And Why The Public Detests Us” founder Brill’s Content founder COURT TV founder American Lawyer magazine

M O N D AY, D E C E M B E R 8 , 7 : 3 0 P M , S A L O M O N 1 0 1

PAGE 6 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003

Online continued from page 1 Office to “assess the way Banner does records and registration and how to best fit it into the Brown environment.” “This is actually part of a much bigger project to integrate all the different records systems on campus,” said Executive Associate Dean of the College Robert Shaw. The ultimate goal is to enable all 37 records systems, including housing, financial aid, admissions and billing, to communicate on one system, Shaw said. But the first step in this multiyear process will be to implement an online system for grades and registration, Pesta said. The process will address several of Brown’s issues, such as overenrollment of popular classes, including writing seminars with enrollments limited to 17 students. “One of the incidents we talked about when we finally decided to do this special registration was that there were 95 people signed up for a course that only had room for 17,” Pesta said. At Lehigh University in Bethlehem, Pa., the Banner system has been largely successful, said Lehigh’s University Registrar Bruce Correll. The school adopted Banner registration about three years ago along with a degree-audit program that allows students to view the status of degree requirements as they register online, Correll said. “There were some transition issues and coordinating security issues, but they were very small,” he said. Correll added that he thinks these were “problems everybody has in switching to new technology.” But Lehigh freshman Kimberly Hummers said all the problems with Banner have not been resolved. She said she had trouble registering for desired classes because of difficulty with Lehigh’s system. During second-semester preregistration for freshmen, which took place Nov. 18, Hummers said she believed the system was not equipped to handle the many incoming registration requests. “A lot of people in my hall couldn’t get in, and some people still haven’t registered because everyone was on at one time,” she said. Associate University Registrar Dorothy Weber at the College of William and Mary in

She said she believes the switch to Banner was beneficial for students because they can connect to the system from anywhere with an Internet connection. Williamsburg, Va., said the ease with which students can access the program simultaneously is a benefit of the Banner system. She said she believes the switch to Banner was beneficial for students because they can connect to the system from anywhere with an Internet connection. “I have students studying abroad who can register themselves during their appropriate time,” Weber said. “They don’t have to get any help, they can just go do it.” William and Mary introduced the Banner program in April to conduct pre-registration for the fall semester. The system improved upon an “antiquated” and “homegrown” version of online registration that had been in place for a few years, Weber said. At first, she said the switch caused “usual implementation problems,” including updating old data and educating the vast amount of people required to use the new technology. “Online registration is much easier and it’s more user-friendly,” said William and Mary senior Danielle Yaggi. “I had fewer problems getting into the classes that I need.” Yaggi, who had registered through the old online system before, said she did not encounter problems with the transition into Banner. “The old system was a lot more difficult to use,” she said. “It had different codes … that were confusing.” “The first semester I had no problems. It worked out really well and I got all the classes I wanted,” said freshman Brian Davis. “I can access it any time that I want to and I can do it right in my room.” Herald staff writer Robert CoreyBoulet ’07 can be reached at rcorey-boulet@browndailyherald.com.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD PAGE 7

Uhry continued from page 1 with my life,” he said. Uhry’s future wife was also in the class and by the middle of the semester, he was “so in love that I couldn’t stand up.” The two have been married for over 40 years. After graduation, Uhry penned lyrics for the late Frank Loesser, who taught him how to write. “Frank told me, ‘Every single phrase. Every single part of every word has to count,’” he said. But Uhry only started to understand the need for structure and clarity in writing when he became a high school teacher. “I was teaching the same plays — ‘Macbeth,’ ‘Romeo and Juliet’ — over and over again, and they are so remarkably clear. … As a writer, you need to be able to defend everything you say,” he said. Uhry’s musical adaptation of “The Robber Bridegroom” earned him a Tony nomination in 1976, after which he worked at Goodspeed Opera House in Connecticut and re-created five musicals. Only after watching a play in Stamford, Conn., was Uhry inspired to write a play of his own. “After the play my wife turned to me and said, ‘What did you think?’ and I said, ‘I could write a better play than that.’” Uhry then began writing his first play, “Driving Miss Daisy,” about his grandmother, which chronicled the relationship between a retired Jewish teacher and an African-American driver hired for her. The play started small, originally scheduled to run just five weeks at a theater with only 74 seats. But the response to his work was larger than expected and, after moving to a larger theater, Uhry won a Pulitzer Prize for drama. Uhry’s hit play became a hit movie, starring Jessica Tandy and Morgan Freeman, that won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 1989. In what he described as a “surreal moment,” Uhry also won an Oscar for his screenplay. After being asked to comment on race relations in his film, Uhry said, “(‘Driving Miss Daisy’) was a period piece. It would be wrong to think that these characters exist now. You cannot judge the past by the present. … Of course it was unfair that Morgan Freeman’s character was subjugated, but I was not trying to moralize.” Uhry said he wanted to show strong emotions between people who could not express them in his work. When asked how he was able to find his own voice as a writer, Uhry said, “It requires thinking,

But Uhry only started to understand the need for structure and clarity in writing when he became a high school teacher. “I was teaching the same plays — ‘Macbeth,’‘Romeo and Juliet’ — over and over again, and they are so remarkably clear. … As a writer, you need to be able to defend everything you say,” he said. being alone, pacing and drinking too much wine to figure out what everything means to you.” Although Uhry has written for musicals, plays and films, he still considers playwriting most satisfying. “You are the only one writing it, and there is not a lot between you and the stage. … It is very exciting to shape it and mold it,” he said. Despite his success, Uhry said the process of writing is still difficult and confessed “horrible” work habits. If writing is a process of 10 steps, Uhry said he is in a bad mood during steps one through nine, but then it all comes together in the end. “I don’t think you can turn it on like a faucet. You have to dig in the well. The hardest part — the most frustrating part — is that it doesn’t get any easier,” he said. Uhry said he has stopped reading critiques of his work because there will always be some bad reviews. “You remember all the bad reviews that you get. But I have learned that it is not really about the reviews. It is about the experience of writing, about working in a company of actors and learning with them,” Uhry said. “People ask me ‘What is the secret?’ and I don’t know. If you write something that really means something to you it will probably mean something to somebody else. … Say something that matters to you. Write something that no one else but you can write,” he said.

PAGE 8 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003

UCS

Lisa Moran '05, Josiah's unit manager, spoke

continued from page 1

during community time about the need for a

about financial aid,” said Vice President Diana Jeffery ’04. “By seeing that an expanded needblind policy is being seriously considered, transfer and international alumni may be more excited about donating money.” UCS President Rahim Kurji ’05 made it clear the resolution does not urge the University to neglect other aspects of financial aid to boost a universal need-blind policy. He also said campus life funding is kept separate from financial aid and would thus remain unaffected. Gupta reminded the Council that passage of the resolution would serve as the beginnings of campus-wide dialogue on the issue, not as a final statement. Ultimately, the Council agreed, it is only when the University’s capital campaign is over and real budget figures are out that details for the proposal should be defined. “In this discussion, we don’t have to take funding into account,” said Council member Sarah Saxton-Frump ’07. “This resolution should simply show support for a policy that is already being considered by the administration. After the capital campaign is over, then we can start talking about where exactly the money will go and how it can be distributed fairly.” Kurji stressed that UCS’ recognition of the need for a universal need-blind policy “makes a strong statement for the University both nationally and internally, showing a commitment to education in an ethical context,” he said. “The Van Wickle Gates must be open to all.” After considering several amendments and exhausting debate, a fatigued UCS put the resolution temporarily to rest and moved onto other pressing

worker appreciation day that would

issues. Lisa Moran ’05, Josiah’s unit manager, spoke during community time about the need for a worker appreciation day to acknowledge efforts of all campus workers. Moran said she and other workers have at times experienced a lack of courtesy from students and that a day of appreciation would spread awareness of the contributions these individuals to campus. A UCS statement in support of Safewalk was introduced by Campus Life Committee Chair Ari Savitzky ’06 and revised by the Council. The document expresses UCS’ desire to see greater cooperation between Safewalk and the University to ensure the program can achieve its goal of promoting safe student mobility on campus. Josh Champage ’05, coordinator of Brown Safewalk, attended the meeting to field questions from Council members about the program’s needs. “Safewalk does not receive adequate institutional support to fulfill the promises that the University makes about this service,” he said. “We want to start a conversation with the administration about providing

a reasonable financial incentive for students to volunteer their time to keep our campus safe.” Fueled by cookies provided by Saxton-Frump, the Council moved in relatively good spirits down to the last few items on the agenda. UCS passed a proposal establishing a joint task force with Brown Environmental Action Network to provide a forum for students to voice concerns on environmental issues at Brown. The task force’s aim is to effect environmental change through “research, advocacy and the provision of advice” for the development of environmentally-conscious University decisions. During his weekly “Colonel’s Corner” segment, Alumni Liaison Justin Sanders ’04 informed the Council that $20,000 was transferred from the Office of the President to the Student Activities Office for use by the seniors during senior week and other class pursuits and programs.

Rangers

graduating as a janitor at Brown. He finally got a call in 1973 from the Muskegon Mohawks, a minor league hockey team in Michigan. “They were part of the International Hockey League. That is the lowest rung of professional hockey, perhaps the lowest rung of professional sports,” Nadel said. “But they offered me a job as their play-by-play announcer and (public relations) rep, so I took it.” His salary was $140 a week, Nadel said with a laugh. Nadel eventually left the Mohawks in 1976 and became the

announcer for the Dallas Blackhawks, another minor league hockey team, when he got a call from the Texas Rangers’ radio station, KRLD, in 1978. The Rangers had heard Nadel announce for the Blackhawks and were impressed with his skills. “They asked me if I ever did the play-by-play for baseball before. I lied. I said I did it in college,” Nadel said. Even if Nadel’s experience was fabricated, his skills were real. The Rangers hired him for the 1979 season, and he’s worked there ever since. The job has its rocky moments. Nadel said he has to answer to two bosses — the team and the radio station. And he has had some pretty powerful bosses, including President George W. Bush, who owned the team from 1989 until he was elected governor in 1994. Nadel said he enjoyed working with the president. “He was one of the few guys we let into the announcer’s box during games. He’d help us call the play-by-play. He was really a tremendous broadcasting partner,” Nadel said.

continued from page 5 accent. “You can’t be a successful broadcaster with that kind of accent,” Nadel said. By his senior year, Nadel was announcing play-by-play at Brown football and hockey games. But after he graduated, Nadel’s career stalled. He sent out over 100 tapes to minor league hockey teams but received no job offers. Nadel spent his first year after

acknowledge the efforts of all campus workers. Moran said she and other workers have at times experienced a lack of courtesy from students and that a day of appreciation would spread awareness of the contributions these individuals make to the wellbeing of the campus.

Herald staff writer Krista Hachey ’07 covers the Undergraduate Council of Students. She can be reached at khachey@browndailyherald.com.

Herald staff writer Lela Spielberg ’07 can be reached at lspielberg@browndailyherald.com.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD PAGE 9

Fencing continued from page 12 up 19-8 victories for the women’s match against UNH. The men, not far behind, walked away with a win total of 1710. Although men’s foil fell short of tasting victory by losing its bouts 4-5, the men’s saber squad easily won its bouts 8-1 while men’s epee battled for a 5-4 win. “Fencing is a mental game,” said Jennifer Hausmann ’07. “Yes, there are coaches there and yes, there are people in the sidelines yelling things for you to do, but it’s really up to you. “You have to decide for yourself what your opponents are doing, what will work best against them, what you need to change and when you need to change it so that you can ultimately affect them to get the win,” she said. This strategy showed throughout the match against Boston University as the Bears stole the W from under the Terriers’ feet. Men’s saber dominated by performing an outstanding 9-0 victory. The squad sweep, by and large, was due to performances of NCAA Alternate Dan Dorsky ’05, Dan Mahoney ’07, Jeremy Adler ’06 and Ven Tadipatri ’04. In addition, men’s epee, women’s epee and women’s foil defeated BU 7-2, 8-1 and 8-1, respectively, ending the match with a victory. Against the national club-fencing defending champions, UMass, the Bears garnered another win. Nationally ranked Jeremy Zeitlin ’07 executed a strong performance, leading his foil squad to a 54 victory. Not far behind, men’s saber rounded off a 7-2 triumph while men’s epee stole the win with a 5-4 count. Not to be outshone, women’s epee, foil and saber finished 6-3, 6-3 and 5-4, respectively. To prove they’ve got what it takes to be at the top, the ladies

Basketball continued from page 12 touted competition, Bruno opened up the game with a lead, after a three-pointer by Luke Ruscoe ’06. Unfortunately, it proved to be the Bears’ only lead of the game — after tying the score at 7-7, Texas went on a 13-0 run to take a 20-7 lead with 12:20 to play in the first. From there, Texas would outscore Brown by only four points over the remainder of the half as the Bears trailed 38-21 at the break. In the second half, Texas’ size and Brown’s poor shooting combined for more of the same and Bruno would get no closer, eventually losing by 38. For the game, Brown shot only 32 percent and was out-rebounded 5931, including 22 to nine on the offensive glass. “We are a much younger team than we were last year and, in some respects, the offense we run is more difficult to master than Princeton’s,” said Patrick Powers ’04. “As time goes on, we will mesh better and play as one unit.” Leading the Bears was CoCaptain Jaime Kilburn ’04, who finished with a double-double. Kilburn scored 16 points and pulled down 10 rebounds. He also added two blocks and a steal. Returning All-Ivy point guard

“Yes, there are coaches there and yes, there are people in the sidelines yelling things for you to do, but it’s really up to you.” battled an extra match against the all-women’s college, Wellesley, with a 15-12 victory. From the start, the Bears’ female saber squad, led by Christina RodriguezHart ’04, engaged its opponent to the end to gain a 6-3 win. In women’s foil, Juliane Kellner ’06, Nanette Milner ’06 and Claire Coiro ’06 contributed to an allaround 5-4 count. Unfortunately, women’s epee squad lost its match 4-5. After the men challenged three schools and the women battled four, the Bears ended the meet by challenging regional rivals MIT Engineers. Despite the 5-4 victory of the women’s epee squad and the 6-3 win of the men’s saber team, the Bears unfortunately couldn’t pull it out under the watchful gaze of the Engineers. Their challenging rivals deflected the Bears’ parries, attacking to the point that all the Bears could garner was a 10-17 count, blocking them from sweeping the tournament. “As a whole we just need to work on basic fencing techniques so that we (can) bring ourselves up to the level of our better competitors and match more evenly than we did this past week,” Hausmann said. The Bears travel to Boston Nov. 23 for their second league meet of the season. Herald staff writer Zaneta Balantac ’07 covers fencing. She can be reached zbalantac@browndailyherald.com.

Jason Forte ’05 scored nine points and led the team with four assists. In his college debut, Sam Manhanga ’07 finished second on the team in scoring and was the only other player in double figures. He came off the bench to notch 10 points on four of nine shooting. Pacing Texas were freshmen P.J. Tucker, who had 18 points and 13 rebounds, and James Thomas, who had 19 rebounds. Brandon Mouton, Kenny Taylor and Brian Boddicker were the other players in double figures, scoring 16, 12 and 12, respectively. “We learned that we can play on a high level,” Manhanga said. “Once the game got started, I just felt like we were playing another

Mahr continued from page 12 has similar pageantry, but a mere one time each year, and that’s at the Super Bowl. Fight Songs: It’s absolutely exhilarating to hear an entire stadium break out into the home team’s fight song upon scoring. Imagine, just for a second, over 100,000 fans at Tennessee’s Neyland Stadium singing “Rocky Top,” Tennessee’s fight song, at the top of their lungs. Think of a time when everyone at Brown stadium sang “Ever True” as one. The NFL can’t match this (sorry, “Zombie Nation” does not count; that’s not singing but primitive chanting). Most important, college football brings America’s most popular sport to America’s more isolated, out-of-the-way spots: Norman, Okla.; Oxford, Miss.; Ames, Iowa; Gainesville, Fla.; College Station, Texas; Provo, Utah; Manhattan, Kan.; Morgantown, W.Va. Would any NFL team consider setting up shop anywhere near these towns? College football lets teams from the middle of nowhere share something with the rest of the country: a love for football. So once again, in the battle between college and professional football, college football comes out on top. College football fans have started storming the field in celebration, and it looks like they’re about to tear the goalposts down. Wait a second. Fans can’t rush the field and tear down the goalposts in the NFL, now can they? Chris Mahr ’07 hails from Newton, Mass., and rubs a piece of rock in the north end of his room before going to class everyday.

Ivy League team and could compete with them.” Trying to rebound from the loss, Brown is back in action on Friday on the road against Rider College. After that, the team plays its home opener against Wagner on Tuesday at 7 p.m. Lay-ups Marcus Becker ’07 started and played 25 minutes in his first collegiate game … The game’s attendance was 6,391 … Texas failed to register a block … Brown shot only 18 percent from beyond the arc. Herald staff writer Joshua Troy ’04 covers the men’s basketball team. He can be reached at jtroy@browndailyherald.com.

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

EDITORIAL/LETTERS THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003 · PAGE 10 S T A F F

E D I T O R I A L

Let them help It’s misleading for RISD to claim it has a Department of Public Safety if its own officers consider themselves glorified EMTs. Officers say they can’t turn on their sirens when responding to violence or handcuff people they apprehend except in limited circumstances. And they don’t have access to the same information that official police officers have, making it impossible for them even to write parking tickets. If Public Safety officers don’t have the power to take rudimentary and non-confrontational action, they can’t be held accountable for the more sensitive and dangerous job of protecting RISD students. If they don’t feel safe, they cannot be expected to ensure the safety of the community. Public Safety officers take their jobs seriously. They want to protect students. As Officer Josh Mello said, they don’t want to just “pawn it off to the Providence Police,” even though RISD administrators seem to think having the Providence Police as a “shield” is sufficient. And RISD should support the officers in taking the kind of responsibility they demand. When it comes to security, RISD administrators should listen to the people on the front line and give Public Safety the tools and training it needs to serve students. At Brown, while our officers don’t have guns, they are trained at the Providence Police Academy and have full power to make arrests and pursue suspects. Yet, what Brown’s DPS lacks — transparency — is exactly what their RISD counterparts have in abundance. We admire RISD Public Safety’s open desire to help students, and trust that openness would remain constant whatever level of training the department’s officers receive. We admire the Brown Police’s professional training, and trust that, while students may not always know what their officers are up to, they are conducting themselves with professionalism. We can only hope that each school’s DPS can receive of what the other has plenty.

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD EDITORIAL Elena Lesley, Editor-in-Chief Brian Baskin, Executive Editor Zachary Frechette, Executive Editor Kerry Miller, Executive Editor Kavita Mishra, Senior Editor Rachel Aviv, Arts & Culture Editor Jen Sopchockchai, Asst. Arts & Culture Editor Carla Blumenkranz, Campus Watch Editor Juliette Wallack, Metro Editor Jonathan Skolnick, Opinions Editor Philissa Cramer, RISD News Editor Maggie Haskins, Sports Editor Jonathan Meachin, Sports Editor

BUSINESS Jamie Wolosky, General Manager Joe Laganas, Executive Manager Joshua Miller, Executive Manager Anastasia Ali, Project Manager Jack Carrere, Project Manager Lawrence L. Hester IV, Project Manager Bill Louis, Project Manager Zoe Ripple, Project Manager Peter Schermerhorn, Project Manager Elias Roman, Human Resources Manager Laurie-Ann Paliotti, Sr. Advertising Rep. Elyse Major, Advertising Rep. Kate Sparaco, Office Manager

PRODUCTION Zachary Frechette, Chief Technology Officer Marc Debush, Copy Desk Chief Yafang Deng, Copy Desk Chief Grace Farris, Graphics Editor Andrew Sheets, Graphics Editor Sara Perkins, Photo Editor

POST- MAGAZINE Alex Carnevale, Editor-in-Chief Dan Poulson, Executive Editor Morgan Clendaniel, Senior Editor Theo Schell-Lambert, Senior Editor Micah Salkind, Features Editor Ellen Wernecke, Features Editor Abigail Newman, Theater Editor Doug Fretty, Film Editor Jason Ng, Music Editor

SHANE WILKERSON

LETTERS To oust Bush, we need to put pragmatism before purity To the Editor:

Re: “Why General Clark is missing in action,” Nov. 19. So Nate Goralnik doesn’t like Gen. Wesley Clark because he has reversed himself on issues in the past. That’s a flimsy argument in the political arena — everybody does it (e.g. Dean’s recent reversal on capital punishment).

As I see it, the key issue is getting a Democrat into the White House. Bush is the worst president since Nixon (perhaps worse), and I’d take any of the nine candidates over him. I don’t care whether they hedge or flip-flop on issues, so long as they unseat Bush. Currently, defense and winning the South are key, so Edwards, Kerry and Clark strike me as more electable than the rest. Idealists will always be able to find a Nader to vote for, and I respect their position, but politics in America sometimes require sacrifice of principle in favor of compromise to attain important goals. Aaron Fritschner ’06 Nov. 19

write letters. letters@browndailyherald.com

Adam Duritz, Night Editor Marc Debush, Katie Lamm, Copy Editors Senior Staff Writers Zach Barter, Danielle Cerny, Dana Goldstein, Lisa Mandle, Monique Meneses, Joanne Park, Meryl Rothstein, Ellen Wernecke Staff Writers Kathy Babcock, Elise Baran, Alexandra Barsk, Hannah Bascom, Carla Blumenkranz, Robbie Corey-Boulet, Philissa Cramer, Ian Cropp, Sam Culver, Jonathan Ellis, Justin Elliott, Amy Hall Goins, Bernard Gordon, Krista Hachey, Jonathan Herman, Robby Klaber, Sarah LaBrie, Hanyen Lee, Julian Leichty, Kira Lesley, Allison Lombardo, Chris Mahr, Jonathan Meachin, Sara Perkins, Melissa Perlman, Eric Perlmutter, Sheela Raman, Cassie Ramirez, Zoe Ripple, Michael Ruderman, Emir Senturk, Jen Sopchockchai, Lela Spielberg, Adam Stern, Stefan Talman, Joshua Troy, Schuyler von Oeyen, Juliette Wallack, Jessica Weisberg, Brett Zarda, Julia Zuckerman Accounts Managers Laird Bennion, Eugene Clifton Cha, In Young Park, Jane C. Urban, Sophie Waskow, Justin Wong, Christopher Yu Pagination Staff Peter Henderson, Lisa Mandle, Alex Palmer Photo Staff Gabriella Doob, Benjamin Goddard, Marissa Hauptman, Judy He, Miyako Igari, Allison Lombardo, Elizabeth MacLennan, Nicholas Neely, Michael Neff, Alex Palmer, Yun Shou Tee, Sorleen Trevino Copy Editors Emily Brill, George Haws, Leslie Kaufmann, Katie Lamm, Anne Rabbino

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THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

OPINIONS THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2003 · PAGE 11

Queer Alliance posters should be censored THIS SATURDAY NIGHT, SEXUALLY cloth strategically placed over his crotch. spirit if not the letter of the Standards of Alliance’s freedom of speech. I do not adventurous students will celebrate one In another scene two women in varying Student Conduct. Indeed, one of the object to the Queer Alliance displaying of the more iconoclastic of Brown’s tradi- states of undress make out. Bondage is a potential offenses involves “subjecting their pornography in an organizational tions, the semi-annual dance in Sayles recurrent motif. One poster depicts a another person or group to abusive, meeting, at the dance itself or in the List Hall sponsored by the Queer Alliance. The man chained to a bed. A similar table slip threatening, intimidating or harassing Art Center. Nor do I contest their right to event is characterized by behavior that features a man in women’s shoes with his actions, including, but not limited to, discuss the virtues of sadomasochism, tests the boundaries of acceptable con- hands handcuffed around his feet. These those based on race, religion, gender, dis- bondage and homosexuality in general — duct at on-campus parties. Yet what has posters cross a sacred line between play- ability, age, economic status, ethnicity, whether in public forums or in the op-ed been most controversial about the affair ful pornography and hardcore pornogra- national origin, sexual orientation, gen- pages of The Herald. In fact, I am so is not the dance itself but the porno- phy. This distinction was best articulated der identity or gender expression.” The devoted to the idea of freedom of speech graphic advertising campaign that pre- by the Supreme Court in Miller v. Office of Student Life’s Web site empha- that I even oppose the punishment of cedes it. The promotional posters and California. In this ruling, the court sizes that this prohibition extends to hate speech — not because I am so contable slips distributed by the Queer defined obscenity as material that speech itself: “Brown regards all incidents cerned with a student’s right to say the n Alliance never fail to generate debate that appeals to a prurient interest in sex and of racial harassment, whether verbal, word, but because I believe the slippery usually spills over onto the op-ed pages of contains sexual content in a “patently written or physical as violations of the slope may render such speech codes preThe Herald. In 2001 in particular, one stu- offensive way.” Finally, the work taken as (Principles of the Brown University scriptions for censorship of the Orwellian variety. In the case of the Queer Alliance dent had the audacity to note that certain a whole must lack “serious literary, artis- Community).” In fact, in 1991, one student was actu- posters, there is a clear line between religions disapproved of homosexuality. tic, political or scientific value.” According to these criteria, the Queer ally expelled after shouting racial epithets speech — spoken or written — and Another student observed that such pictures misrepresented gays. Despite such Alliance’s advertisements are obscene at another student. Fairness dictates that images. Finally, the Queer Alliance warrants objections, the Queer Alliance continues beyond a reasonable doubt. If images of the University should likewise exercise to delight in offense, and the advertise- sexual violence were found on students’ concern in situations in which expression such criticism even in its trinity of “Sex computers, it would be scandalous. offends students with particular religious Power God.” Such a name is an open inviments for this year’s dance are no excepThat they are unleashed in the com- and moral convictions. If a student could tation for religious groups and individution. munity space is an unspeakable be expelled for a single instance of “racial als to attack the Queer Alliance. When the This week any student on his way outrage. The community is nur- harassment” is it not reasonable to ask targets are racial minorities, the to a meal will be subjected to a bartured on certain shared moral val- that the University merely censor obscen- University has established a zero-tolerrage of pictures that — I sincerely ues. At Brown the intellec- ity? And let it be said — these pictures are ance policy. Such a standard should also hope — are beyond the scope of tual community is found- also demeaning to the homosexual apply to behavior that antagonizes stuwhatever he or she may ed on the principles of lifestyle. It is indeed ironic that a move- dents on the basis of their religion, especasually enjoy while surfing diversity and tolerance. ment that so often harps on the right to cially when those actions also perpetuate the information sewer stephen These ideals comprise privacy would go out of its way to flaunt stereotypes of the members of the very highway. To be sure, beale the core of the school’s its sexuality in the naked public square. organization responsible for the harasssome posters are relaright disciplinary code. A Truly we have exchanged the puritanical ment. The “Sex Power God” posters and tively civilized. One words study of the relevant shame of the Scarlet Letter for the in- table slips should be censored and the depicts a woman bathed Queer Alliance should issue a long-overdocuments suggests your-face pride of the Queer Alliance. in a sort of golden light It should be noted that this censorship due public apology to the whole commuthe Queer Alliance’s as she looks away, but posters violate the would not infringe on the Queer nity. most of them are not as tame. One depicts a student in the act of masturbation with a Students who wish to take action may contact Stephen Beale ‘04 at Stephen_Beale@brown.edu.

Will someone please just marry Dennis Kucinich? This Thanksgiving, let’s give to someone who’s really in need I BOLTED AWAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF elections because he speaks for the 90 Like a lonely Jolt poster, he exaggerates this or that the night, threw off my covers and percent in the middle and bottom.” I’m slapped on my pajamas and cap with one worried, though, that this projection will claim, longs for this or that “perfect girl” and purpose: to pass on the true meaning of prove a bit optimistic. All of his erstwhile Thanksgiving. A far cry from my year- middle class supporters have run off to round dreams about pageants, poultry the Britney Spears of the Democratic pri- weaves heartfelt stories of big dreams. He’s strugand tackling people, I imagined a special mary, while his steelworkers and labor thing … that the holiday season com- constituents are either pursuing old gling, but someday he will find his way with just a memorates outreach. Every year, we flames like Dick Gephardt or dallying extend a hand to those in need or with the soldier boy. What if he’s left out little encouragement. remember famous people who extended in the cold this winter, hands shivering such hands in the past. I began to thumb and body parts turning blue? Doesn’t this but be a dynamic, out-spoken woman mythologies of cherished world views ... through the Internet like Santa Claus man deserve a few tokens of holiday who was fearless in her desire for peace it will help with the discovery of new with his list and peered at webpages like cheer mailed to him from disparate parts in the world and for universal single- selves …it will envision and seek to a noble savage looking cautiously of the country, recreating the end of “It’s payer health care and a full employment implement plans for peace education, through the trees at a deprived Pilgrim A Wonderful Life?” Doesn’t this man economy. If you are out there call me.” not simply as a course of study, but as a deserve a holiday turkey and cranber- Blatant, public fantasies about Hillary template for all pursuits of knowledge.” If camp. aside, Kucinich seems to have some the Department of Defense were so allry sauce of his own? Deep in the snow drifts of the He may yet get what he wants. unique qualities that may help him pervading, it would be in charge of courtMidwest, there is a small cabin PoliticsNH.com is running an attract the females. In an earnest room defense, hockey defense, defendfilled with soot-covered faces, online contest called, “Who response to a question from a wide-eyed ing teeth from plaque and ovaries from eking out warmth with a grim and wants to be a First Lady?” and woman in a tie-dyed MuMu during the insemination (OK so that was out on a beauteous sort of cheer. hooking up the woman who gets first primary debate, Kucinich unveiled limb). Nobody thinks as big as this man! Combustible hopes and oil Nobody thinks as out-of-the-box. the most votes with our can- his plan for the Department of Peace. drums filled with handMore importantly, nothing short of Although labeled in American style to didate. In response, he’s chopped logs rest outside, said, “As a bachelor, I get a differentiate it from George Orwell’s such a monumental proposal could ever where they can be chance to fantasize (1984) Ministry of Peace, it seems to have convince Hillary to leave the towering reached within half an about my First Lady. an equally large jurisdiction: “seeking Bill for a man several feet shorter. Like a hour of heavy shovelAnd you know, maybe nothing less than the transformation of lonely Jolt poster, he exaggerates this or ing. It is homey but it Fox will want to spon- our society. … Domestically, the that claim, longs for this or that “perfect needs a feminine barron sor it as a national Department of Peace would address vio- girl” and weaves heartfelt stories of big touch. This is the youngsmith contest or something. lence in the home, spousal abuse, child dreams. He’s struggling, but someday he campaign of Rep. baron von But in any event, I abuse, gangs, police-community rela- will find his way with just a little encourDennis Kucinich, (Dnewspaper would definitely want tions conflicts, and it would work with agement. Please, I implore you: Send Ohio). His Web site someone who would not individuals and groups to achieve some holiday warmth to Dennis labels him the candijust be there by my side, changes in attitudes that examine the Kucinich in the form of aftershave, some date who’s locked up shoes or a modest budget restructuring “the top-down specproposal. trum; Kucinich wins Barron YoungSmith ’06 proposes (to) the Department of Your Mom.

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

SPORTS THURSDAY NOVEMBER 20, 2003 · PAGE 12

Free-agent big men: expensive but not worthy

Super Saturdays not Sundays of autumn sports

HOW DESPERATE IS THE NBA FOR BIG men? The big three free-agent centers from last season have been atrocious at best and demonstrate that clubs will dole out the cash for a big man no matter what the odds of success. Rasho Nesterovic, Michael Olowokandi and Alonzo Mourning are all First-Team underachievers, who have done nothing to help their respective teams. Each joined a playoff team to either win a championship or get a team through the first round of the playoffs, but none JON MEACHIN have figured out SUICIDE SQUEEZE how to help the cause. For defending champs San Antonio Spurs, the priority was replacing a retired David Robinson and Nesterovic looked like a solid answer. The reality is that Rasho has worse numbers than an aging, often-injured Robinson had last year. Plagued by terrible back problems, Robinson still shot eight percentage points better and averaged just as many points and rebounds. Praying for another European big-man success, the Spurs so far have bought themselves more a Bryant Reeves than a Paul Gasol. Averaging only seven points a game, Nesterovic is earning a whopping $7 million for his mediocre efforts. His backup, Malik Rose, is averaging more points and rebounds per game, and two other substitutions are comfortably outscoring him. The Spurs may make it back to the finals, but at this point, don’t give any credit to Nesterovic. While the Minnesota Timberwolves would love to take home the NBA title, the team’s focus is just getting through the first round. While the T’wolves brought in a plethora of free-agent talent, only Olowokandi has failed to deliver. Averaging only six points and less than four rebounds a game, the Kandi man shares the distinction of being thoroughly outplayed by his backup, Gary Trent, with Nesterovic. Five months ago, Olowokandi looked like a steal at $5 million a season but now he’s struggling to earn it. Alonzo Mourning was a great player and his return from kidney disease is an amazing story, but for $5.5 million a year, the heartwarming story has a high cost. Out of shape and limited to only 18 minutes a game, Mourning can only pull down two rebounds a night and manage single-digit scoring. Brought in for his physical presence and to take the load off Jason Kidd, Mourning can’t spend enough time on the court to be a force, and Kidd has been exhausted. Like the aforementioned teams, the Nets are off to a sub-par start and can look in part to dismal center production to explain their woes. All three teams took chances on their centers be it the health of Mourning, the poor attitude of Olowokandi or the supposed “potential” of Nesterovic. In return for buying brand name centers, the squads only found their no-name, cheap backups could outplay them night in and night out. Yes, it’s early in the season, but for a combined $18 million the expectations deserve to be high.

point for each individual fencer’s victory, he said. Yet the travel-weary Bears didn’t garner enough individual points, resulting in several lost squad matches. Nonetheless, the Brown men and women’s fencing squads executed a number of strong individual performances. Against their first opponent, UNH, the Bears easily clinched a win. All-American Ruth Schneider ’06, who remained undefeated throughout the meet, contributed to the women’s epee 9-0 sweep along with her fellow squad members, CoCaptain Alessandra Assante ’04, Lucy Walker ’06 and Shauna Edson ’05. Women’s saber ended with a 6-3 count while women’s foil finished 4-5, rounding

IT TOOK ME SOME TIME TO GET OVER the fact that baseball season has ended; yet another season gone by with my beloved Red Sox failing yet again to win a World Series. So my eyes turned to other parts of the sports CHRIS MAHR SPORTS COLUMNIST landscape, particularly the gridiron. Unlike most everyone else, though, my attention did not shift to the gridiron warriors of Sunday, but to those who engage in battle the day before. NFL purists, feel free to argue with me all you want. The fact of the matter is professional football has got nothing on its college counterpart when it comes to tradition, rivalries, pageantry, fight songs … if you couldn’t already tell, the list goes on for a while. I wish I had time to state every reason, but I don’t. So I’ll just stick with the aforementioned ones. Tradition: Seemingly every college football team in the country has some age-old quirk. Take Clemson University, for example. At the start of every home game, the entire team rubs a piece of rock situated behind the north end zone for good luck before charging onto the field. The rock’s origin has given birth to Clemson Memorial Stadium’s nickname — Death Valley. There’s the Tiger Walk at Auburn University, where the team walks single file from the practice field to Jordan-Hare Stadium amid a throng of blue and orange clad fans on game day. There’s the fifth quarter at University of Wisconsin — Madison. Regardless of a win or a loss, the Wisconsin marching band leads the home crowd in fight songs and dancing at the conclusion of every home game. Speaking of tradition, let’s not forget stadium names. College football stadiums tend to be named after great coaches, such as BryantDenny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, home of the University of Alabama Crimson Tide. In the NFL, it’s typically (Insert Corporate Sponsor Here) Stadium. Of course, the NFL does have some tradition. There’s … um … well, let me get back to you with that. Rivalries: College football is home to some of the most compelling rivalries in sports. The annual Iron Bowl between Auburn and Alabama is an all-out war. The Apple Cup between Washington and Washington State is a classic match-up of east (Washington State) vs. west (Washington), and of blue-collar vs. whitecollar. Florida vs. Florida State is the biggest game of any kind every year in the state of Florida. Michigan versus Ohio State is, well, Michigan versus Ohio State. Any “great” rivalries in the NFL are a creation of the networks that broadcast the games in a pathetic attempt to draw viewer interest. Since when has Bengals-Chiefs become a fierce rivalry? Pageantry: College football games are not just football games; they are visual spectacles. No other aspect of college football affirms this more than halftime shows. The Ohio State marching band forms a scripted “Ohio” that stretches the length of the field with a surgeon’s precision. The annual Bayou Classic between Grambling and Southern is very often more about the marching band shows at halftime than it is about the game. Even our very own Brown University Band can form a mullet with amazing exactitude. This pageantry at college football stadiums across the country is a weekly occurrence in the fall. The NFL

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Jon Meachin ’04 hails from New York City and acknowledges that his Knicks have a terrible center in Dikembe Mutombo.

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Jason Forte ’05 had nine points in a game against the Longhorns, leading the Bears with four assists.

Men’s basketball falls to tough No. 11 Longhorns in 89-51 loss BY JOSHUA TROY

While the game may not have been the men’s basketball team’s “SportsCenter Highlight,” the season opener against the University of Texas in the NABC Classic was still a chance to compete against one of the top teams in the country. The 89-51 loss marked a humbling experience for the bears (0-1, 0-0 Ivy League), who ended last season with its first ever National Invitational Tournament appearance. The Longhorns (1-0, 0-0) entered the game at No. 11 in the ESPN/USA Today Coaches Poll, after reaching the Final Four and finishing as the third-ranked

team in the country last season. The team returned four starters and four seniors, losing only point guard T.J. Ford, who was drafted in the first round by the Milwaukee Bucks. Brown has five freshmen on its 13man roster. The squad also lost Earl Hunt ’03 and Alai Nuualiitia ’03, both All-Ivy players and among the top 10 scorers in school history, to graduation. Hunt finished his Brown career a two-time Regional All-American and the collegeinsider.com Ivy League MVP. Despite the pressure of facing highlysee BASKETBALL, page 9

Fencers rip through four opponents but cannot stop MIT BY ZANETA BALANTAC

The Brown fencing team delivered another strong performance during its first league meet at the University of New Hampshire last weekend. With six teams battling for the prize of ultimate conquest, the determined Bears lashed out swords, securing victories against UNH, Boston University, University of Massachusetts and Wellesley College. But they fell short against their regional rival MIT, ending the competition with a victory count of 4-1 for the women and 3-1 for the men. “Fencing is the bastard child of a team sport like football and an individual sport like tennis,” said Co-Captain and epeeist Brian Williams ’04. How well the team does depends on how well each person does individually. Each team gets one