Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Daily

the Brown

vol. cxlviii, no. 5

INSIDE

Page 3

Heat wave

Irregular dorm heating ignites continued complaints

The former power plant, listed as endangered, has changed hands frequently in recent years

By Katie lamb

Page 5

StyleWeek NE promises week of innovative design Page 7

Let’s talk Enriquez ’16 totes the value of public speaking today

39 / 34

tomorrow

53 / 46

since 1891

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

U. considers purchase of historic Jewelry District site

Senior Staff WRiter

Fashion fix

Herald

The vacant historical building known as the Dynamo House, located in the Jewelry District, has become the subject of renewed speculation as government and local university officials push to redevelop the neighborhood into a hub of science, technology and research.

The University has “shown interest in (purchasing the Dynamo House), but nothing definite,” said Edward Wing, dean of medicine and biological sciences.

Built as a power plant in 1912, the Dynamo House has seen potential tenants fall through since it was sold to the Heritage Harbor Museum in 1995

— a Dynamo LLC development project failed in 2007 and plans to use the space for a Rhode Island history museum dissolved in 2008. After years without a stable tenant, the building was placed on the Providence Preservation Society’s “Ten Most Endangered Properties List” last June. Dynamo LLC still owns the property, but the company is not using the space.

The building’s features — including “arched windows and thick brick walls,” the New York Times reported, as well as an unconventional layout — and large amount of open space make it “awkward for a regular office,” said Colin Kane, chairman of the I-195 Redevelopment District Commission. A new tenant would need to be creative to use the space functionally, he said.

To take on the building would be “essentially starting from scratch,” Kane said, since the building’s large masonry shell / / Historic page 2

Courtesy of tim hiebert

The Dynamo House poses challenges and opportunities to those looking to invest in Jewelry District.

Rep. seeks to pass term-limit legislation While unlikely to become law, resolution sparks discussion in General Assembly By will fesperman Contributing writer

A state representative introduced a joint resolution to the House Judiciary Committee Jan. 17 that would impose a three-term limit on state lawmakers in the General Assembly and lengthen the span of a term from two years to four years.

If adopted by both houses, the resolution, introduced by Rep. John Lombardi, D-Providence, would go before Rhode Island voters in 2014.

A three-term limit would cycle out older legislators who might become ineffective the longer they serve, Lombardi said. Extensive experience in the General Assembly “doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re qualified,” he added.

Newly elected members may bring fresh ideas and approach certain problems differently, Lombardi said.

“There’s much to be said about changing the guard (and) reviewing things through different eyes,” he added.

Term limits could also create a legislature that better reflects the changing demographics of Rhode Island by preventing the continuous reelection of traditional candidates, Lombardi said.

He said his 26 years on the Providence City Council influenced his support for term limits. Lombardi was in office when the City Council suggested term limits for the mayor and council members following an FBI investigation into corruption in city hall in the 1990s, he said. Providence voters approved the council’s measures in 2006.

Sen. Dawson Hodgson, R-North Kingstown, proposed similar legislation in the General Assembly last year to limit state legislators to eight years in office. Hodgson’s resolution was discussed in the Senate Judiciary Committee but never came up for a vote.

“There was no overtly hostile reaction,” Hodgson said, but “there was also not a consensus that term limits were needed.”

Richard Niemi, professor of political science at the University of Rochester, said he thinks term limits do more harm than good.

“It takes some time to build up expertise on various topics,” he said.

“Legislatures are well served by having people who actually know what they’re talking about.”

Fifteen states currently have laws imposing term limits, the majority of which were passed in the early 1990s by voter referenda. In six states, the

legislature or state Supreme Court have recently repealed term limits from the 1990s.

Niemi said research shows legislature composition is not drastically affected by the introduction of term limits. Legislatures that are predominately white or male before term limits are introduced may experience slight changes in membership when the limits are implemented, he said, but only “in the short run.”

The House Judiciary Committee must approve Lombardi’s bill before it can be voted upon by the full House.

Rep. Edith Ajello, D-Providence, chairperson of the judiciary committee, refused to comment on whether she would support Lombardi’s bill. “The ballot box is really the most effective term limit,” she said.

Niemi said the relatively liberal term limits in Lombardi’s resolution could improve / / Limit page 3

Positions in foreign language instruction expected to rise Increase points to postsecondary awareness of the pertinence of globalization

By Jasmine Fuller Staff Writer

The Modern Language Association predicted the number of 2012-13 job openings in postsecondary foreign language instruction will exceed comparable English positions for the first time in 18 years, according to the association’s December Job Information List.

The report predicted the number of foreign language openings will be 10.5 percent higher than in the previous year, while the number of English positions will decrease by 3.6 percent.

The number of foreign language and English positions has been increasing since the 2010-11 academic year, after decreasing for the three

years prior, according to the report.

The MLA’s prediction indicates the number of English positions will level off while the number of foreign language positions should continue to climb this year.

Most MLA openings in the past three years have been listed after the December report is issued.

The increase in foreign language jobs at universities is an indication “that institutions recognize the importance of multilingualism in students’ educations,” the report states.

“We’re a little agoraphobic as a country, so it’s a positive prospect that the MLA predictions suggests a potential shift toward greater globalization,” said Stephen Foley ’74 P’04 P’07, department director of under-

graduate studies and associate professor of English. But he added, “I don’t think we could make any predictions about long-term trends until we have more data.”

Karen Newman, professor of comparative literature, also said more data would be necessary to determine “if this is an ongoing trend or a blip.” But in response to “globalization of economic and financial markets,” there exists a growing consensus that university students should study multiple languages, she said.

Language course enrollment at Brown increased by approximately 8 percent between 2000 and 2012, wrote Elsa Amanatidou, director of the Center for Language Studies and senior lecturer in classics, in an email to The Herald. French, Spanish, Chinese, Italian and Arabic are the five most frequently studied languages at

Brown, she wrote.

Students at the University “want to become not just translingual, but transcultural in their experience,” Amanatidou said.

“The students at Brown are not ignoring the fact that we live in a global society,” she said. “They actually give the word ‘global citizen’ its rightful meaning.”

The MLA data does not necessarily indicate there is a greater postsecondary interest in foreign literature or culture, Amanatidou said. Graduate students “are very well aware that they may be doing a PhD in literature, in French or in Spanish, but it is very likely that their first job will be teaching the language in a university or high school,” she said.

The increase in foreign language position offerings “may not mean these people are go/ / Jobs page 2

Providence College ups payments to city New multimillion-dollar deal with Providence answers mayor’s call for aid from local nonprofits

By ADAM HOFFMAN Contributing writer

Providence College announced it will pay $3.84 million to the city in additional funds over the next 10 years, joining several other local tax-exempt institutions that provide voluntary aid to help ameliorate Providence’s financial strife.

The private school has agreed to contribute $1 million of the total sum upon final approval of the deal by the City Council, and the new payments will supplement the $264,000 the school has been giving annually since 2003.

Upon taking office, Mayor Angel Taveras encountered a $110 million structural deficit, and in February 2012 asked the city’s major non-profits — including Brown — to collectively contribute an additional $7.1 million annually to help rescue the city from potential bankruptcy. After months of heated negotiations, the University agreed last May to contribute an additional $3.9 million in 2012 for a total $31.5 million over 11 years. The agreement roughly doubled the University’s annual payments to the city, increasing them from $4 million to $7.9 million.

Brown’s payments amount to about 1.2 percent of its $663 million annual operating budget. Providence College’s $580,000 annual contribution makes up .3 percent of its $160 million budget. / / Pledge page 2 Both aca-

2 university news / / Historic page 1

c alendar Tuesday

JaNuary 29

4 P.m.

wednesday

jaNuary 30

4 p.m.

Political Judgment Lecture,

Martin Luther King, Jr. Lecture,

Metcalf 101

Salomon 101

5 p.m.

6:30 p.m.

Delivering Health Care,

FemSex Info Session,

List Art 120

Wilson 102

menu SHARPE REFECTORY

VERNEy-WOOLLEY

LUNCH Nacho Bar with Toppings, French Bread Pizza, Grilled Turkey Burgers, Butterscotch Cookies

Honey Mustard Chicken Sandwich, Vegetarian Pot Pie, Peanut Butter Sandwich Bar, Butterscotch Cookies

DINNER Vegan Ratatouille, Italian Beef Noodle Casserole, Antipasto Bar, Washington Apple Cake

Roast Beef Au Jus, Vegan Vegetable Couscous, Washington Apple Cake

Sudoku

RELEASE DATE– Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Los AngelesCrossword Times Daily Crossword Puzzle Edited by Rich Norris and Joyce Nichols Lewis

ACROSS 1 Bit of high jinks 6 Eastern European 10 Sounds of disapproval 14 Team leader 15 Hang (around) in a hammock, say 16 Dos cubed 17 Second-largest Indian city 18 Play parts 19 Say grace, say 20 *4-0 World Series win, e.g.

22 Salad fish 23 Make illegal 24 Spy for Moses 26 Bit of schoolyard disagreement 29 Gardner of Hollywood 32 Under the covers 35 “The Shield” force, briefly 36 Diabolical sorts 39 “Norma __” 40 Pooling vehicle 41 *Broom alternative 42 www bookmark 43 Org. with many specialists 44 Online newsgroup system 45 Nora was his mistress 46 Justin Timberlake’s former band 48 Fir feller 49 Bok __: cabbage 50 Nudges 53 Corrosive stuff 55 Cashless deal 57 Designed for two functions, and a hint to the answers to starred clues 63 Buffalo’s lake 64 Not nuts 65 Run to the window 66 Gave for a while 67 Malevolent 68 Great enthusiasm 69 Colony critters 70 Riga resident 71 Scatter about

DOWN 1 Adapter letters 2 Carolers’ offering 3 Shakespeare’s “The Winter’s __” 4 Sleepy Hollow schoolteacher Crane 5 Plates for company 6 Side with a sandwich 7 Bridal gown trim 8 Ancient Mexican 9 Italian scooter 10 David Letterman list 11 *Scouring aid 12 Genghis __ 13 Tofu source 21 Bureaucratic bungles 25 Speech therapist’s concern 26 Highway to Fairbanks 27 Sirs’ counterparts 28 *Graffiti maker’s medium 30 Clamping device 31 MetLife competitor

the brown daily herald Tuesday, January 29, 2013

33 Turn a deaf __ 34 Airport annoyance 37 Carlsbad Caverns locale: Abbr.

38 “I’m listening!”

41 “Watch your head!”

45 Prevailed against, slangily 47 Common rental restriction

51 Four-wheeled flop 52 Dry Italian wine 54 Safecrackers 55 Ward of “CSI: NY” 56 Small songbird 58 Army division 59 Shot at the bar 60 Cold War country: Abbr.

61 Mal de __: Henri’s headache 62 “That hurts!”

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE:

has been empty and open to the weather for four or five winters.

The “profound challenge” of a lack of parking, a common issue in the district, presents another barrier to the building’s use, Kane said.

The building would require a tenant that needs at least 150,000 to 200,000 square feet, Kane said.

“That’s a lot of space, and we don’t have those users in Providence very often,” he said. “The world thinks Brown (will purchase the building), but I don’t know if Brown thinks that.”

The University is currently looking for a new space to house the Brown Institute for Brain Science, Wing said.

“In the right hands it could be the most extraordinary space in the city,” Kane said, but “right now it’s playing a detrimental role” in the district as it remains vacant and in a state of disrepair.

“It has tremendous visibility and huge potential for redevelopment,” wrote Robert Azar, director of current planning for Providence, in an email to The Herald. “Its size and location give it the potential to become the most significant development in the district, if not in all of downtown.”

Demand for the building has increased in recent years due to development driven by startup and research interests in the area, which have “just exploded,” Wing said.

“A lot of great things have happened (in the Jewelry District) in the past three or four years, despite the economic downturn,” Kane said.

The University of Rhode Island and Rhode Island College have plans to build nursing schools in the district, and Johnson & Wales University completed a purchase of two parcels

/ / Jobs page 1 ing to teach a lot more in their specialty area,” said Christopher Holmes MA ’11.

Despite the upward prediction for the foreign language job market, “everyone is nervous,” said Anne-Caroline Sieffert GS. “Generally speaking, in the humanities, the direction of higher education in the U.S. and in the world is not going toward hiring more humanities students.”

/ / Pledge page 1

xwordeditor@aol.com

01/29/13

demic institutions received concessions with strategic value in exchange for their additional payments to the city, said Steven Maurano, assistant vice president of public affairs and

GREG-JORDAN DETAMORE / HERALD

of land last November, on which administrators intend to have up to three new academic buildings built, said Lisa Pelosi, director of communications and media relations at JWU. JWU will also renovate a build-

ing on Clifford Street to house a new center for physician assistant studies.

JWU is looking to build up medical facilities in close proximity to Alpert Medical School to create “more of a medical hub,” Pelosi said.

Pursuing a Ph.D in English or comparative literature is “a lot of work for an uncertain future for not a large remuneration,” Newman said. “Faculty aren’t paid the way investment bankers are.”

Despite this knowledge of the job market, “90 percent of the case, you don’t do a Ph.D because you’re interested by money,” Sieffert said.

But in the face of rather bleak prospects, “Brown really does care about

whether or not we get a job,” Holmes said. “Other places you’re sort of on your own.”

Brown’s language graduates tend to have an advantage in the job market, “because we’re very well-trained for teaching,” Sieffert said. A class in pedagogy is mandatory for language graduate students, and “that (course) has proven to be the reason why we were hired rather than another student,” Sieffert said.

community relations for Providence College. Providence College “is receiving portions of three city streets that are all adjacent to or bisect the college campus” as part of their agreement, he said. Brown, he added, has received portions of two or three city

streets it has long sought, as well as parking leases.

“Feedback has been good thus far” from both the Providence College community and the city, Maurano said. He added that the $3.84 million is not being withdrawn from the operating funds of the university, and that neither tuition dollars nor financial aid are compromised as a result of the deal.

Both the mayor and Providence College’s leadership have endorsed the deal, but it awaits approval from the Providence City Council, which will meet Feb. 7.

If the City Council ratifies the deal, Taveras will have secured about $48 million in additional payments over ten years from the city’s non-profits.

In addition to Providence College and Brown, Care New England, CharterCARE Health Partners, Johnson and Wales University, Lifespan and the Rhode Island School of Design have all pledged additional funds.

www.browndailyherald.com 195 Angell St., Providence, R.I. Shefali Luthra, President Samuel Plotner, Treasurer Lucy Feldman, Vice President Julia Kuwahara, Secretary The Brown Daily Herald (USPS 067.740) is an independent newspaper serving the Brown University community daily since 1891. It is published Monday through Friday during the academic year, excluding vacations, once during Commencement and once during Orientation by The Brown Daily Herald, Inc. Single copy free for each member of the community.

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university news 3

the brown daily herald Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Students weigh in on problems with dorm heating Facilities management aims to give students more control over heating in residence halls

By Yvette Rodriguez Contributing Writer

Though Department of Facilities Management officials said service requests are usually addressed within 48 hours, several students said they have had to make multiple requests and wait more than three days for dorm heating issues to be addressed.

Facilities management usually turns the heating on in residence halls in October or November and tries to maintain temperatures around 70 degrees, though there is sometimes a two-degree discrepancy, said Chris Powell, director of sustainable energy and environmental initiatives for facilities management. Students’ heating complaints tend to be caused by minor issues like curtains or furniture blocking radiation, which prevents natural convection, he said.

Other heating issues arise out of project renovations because facilities management and outside contractors only have a small amount of time “to complete a project and carry out test check and repairs,” he said.

Powell said facilities management

usually responds to complaints within two days, and Carlos Fernandez, assistant vice president for facilities, operations and engineering, said student service requests are given priority if heating is malfunctioning.

Ralitza Dekova ’14, said a facilities management representative responded to her heating issue for her suite in Young Orchard 10 and told her the heating system was functioning normally, though the initial problem persisted. She called facilities management a second time and an issue with the boiler room was then discovered, she said.

Andrea Chiang ’15, who lives in Graduate Center, said no one responded to her service request surrounding a heating issue by the scheduled deadline to have the work completed. She said she had to call facilities management directly before someone came to address the problem.

Mai Ly ’16, who lives in Morris Hall, said she thinks facilities management does a good job keeping residence halls warm, despite some minor issues.

Chiang said she understands that facilities has a lot of work, but added that heating is essential for most students during winter months. “If we have to pay so much for room and board, I should have basic heating,” she said.

Some heating fluctuations result

Greg Jordan-Detamore / Herald

The Department of Facilities Management aims to keep dorm rooms at around 70 degrees, though many students have complained that their rooms remain either too hot or too cold. from different insulation and heating systems, Powell said. The University is aware of the need to renovate and pursue more energy-efficient and environmentally-friendly initiatives, he said.

Initiatives like the “Deep Dorm Energy Efficiency Project” aim to improve the heating in residence halls, Powell said. Some changes already implemented under this program in-

clude better-insulated and stronger windows and temperature knobs for students to control the warmth of their individual rooms, he added. Though the temperature in residence halls is managed by a central control system, the new temperature knobs allow students to shift temperatures within two degrees, he said.

Facilities management wants to convert more buildings from steam

heating to hot water heating, Powell said. The University currently uses steam, hot water and central forced air for heating on campus, he added, and hot water heating is more manageable because it is a more accurate temperature control.

Heating costs currently take up around 20 percent of the utilities budget, which is about $20 million, according to facilities management.

Student assaulted, robbed behind the Gate Four men face possible life sentences after assaulting student with knife and crowbar

By Caleb miller senior staff writer

Three men allegedly beat and robbed a male student Sunday at 4:46 a.m. near the back entrance to the Gate, said Paul Shanley, deputy chief of police for the Department of Public Safety.

The men used a knife and a crowbar in the attack and robbed the student of his cell phone and other belongings, Shanley said. He could not comment on details surrounding the victim’s physical injuries but said they were not lifethreatening.

DPS officers arrested the three men, along with a fourth accomplice, near the intersection of Brook and Lloyd Streets soon after the assault, Shanley said.

“All four of the people were charged with first-degree robbery and conspiracy, and they are being held without bail pending a bail hearing,” Shanley said.

He added that because this incident qualifies as first degree robbery — a term the Rhode Island state’s website

/ / Limit page 1 the probability that the bill will pass.

The resolution would allow elected officials to serve in both houses, meaning legislators could spend a maximum of 24 years in the General Assembly.

But Lombardi said he does not believe the legislation will pass.

“I don’t think it’s going to see the

defines as robberies involving “dangerous weapons” or resulting in victim injury — the suspects could receive life sentences if convicted. The minimum sentence for first degree robbery is ten years and the suspects face possible fines of $15,000 each, according to state law.

Officers were notified of the assault when the victim’s friend called DPS, Shanley said. The three suspects involved in the assault fled south and met with the fourth before getting into a car, he said, and added that the suspects were in the car when they were identified and apprehended by DPS. “One of our officers had observed a vehicle containing men with a description that had matched the description given by the victim,” Shanley said.

“When he stopped the vehicle with the assistance of other Brown police officers, four people were taken into custody and the victim’s cell phone was discovered in the car.”

The suspects have been identified as Chad Pelliccio, Alexander Mandeville, Manuel Delgado and Erik Pacheco, Shanley said. He added they are all 18 and 19 years old and residents of Cranston, R.I., and none of them has any affiliation with the University. light of day,” he said, adding that his fellow lawmakers lack “the intestinal fortitude to pass the bill, even to consider it.”

Hodgson said discussions about term limits are important, even if Lombardi’s bill does not pass.

“This is a starting point for conversation about the structure of government,” he added.

www.browndailyherald.com

4 city & state

the brown daily herald Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Capitol avoids bankruptcy with new pension plan After legal battle, retirees agree to reduction in health care and pension plans to keep Providence afloat

By Gabrielle dee Staff Writer

City police officers voted to approve their union’s deal with the city Dec. 13, accepting pension and healthcare cuts in order to help the city stave off bankruptcy.

The deal saves the city $18.5 million in fiscal year 2013 and reduces the unfunded pension liability by $170 million, according to a city press release. It also puts an end to legal action filed by various municipal unions, challenging a city council resolution that would have made

more severe cuts to pensions and retiree health care benefits.

The retirees argued the city could not renege on its original contract with the unions, but ultimately agreed to the changes once the city limited the suspension of cost-of-living adjustments — ­­ annual raises in pension pay-outs intended to keep pension payments growing in line with inflation — to 10 years, instead of the originally planned 24 years, said Joseph Penza, the attorney for the Providence Retired Police and Firefighters Association. The deal also permanently

eliminates 5 and 6 percent compound cost-of-living adjustments and caps annual individual pension payments at 150 percent the state median income.

The agreement still moves all retirees over age 65 to Medicare, but under the terms of the new agreement the city will fund both the Part B and the Part D Medicare supplements, rather than only Part B — covering prescription medication in addition to medically necessary services and devices like operations, doctor visits and wheelchairs — to reduce the additional burden facing the retirees. The city agreed to the additional supplement in exchange for the dismissal of a lawsuit that could have prevented the city from

moving retirees to Medicare.

“Through collaboration, we have pulled Rhode Island’s capitol city back from the brink of bankruptcy while sparing taxpayers the unnecessary expense of a long, costly legal challenge that threatened our future,” said Providence Mayor Angel Taveras, according to the same press release.

Retirees can still opt out of the settlement with the city and file individual cases against the state to demand their original pensions, Penza said. “You have the choice to go forward and take the risk, but get a worse plan than you had before,” he said.

The mayor and City Council argued

the cuts constituted “a compelling public interest,” saving the city from bankruptcy, Penza said. But the municipal unions filed a lawsuit, opposing the unilateral cuts.

The retirees considered several possible outcomes before settling, Penza said.

If they won the case, the city could have had to declare bankruptcy and “in that case, (they) would not get compounding, and pensions would decrease by 25 percent,” he said. If they lost the case, the pension cuts would be more “draconian” than if they had settled, he added.

The police retirees of Providence confirmed their support of the new plan, as 80 percent approved the settlement, Penza said.

city & state 5

the brown daily herald Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Students volunteer locally over winter break Community-minded students joined forces to take on diverse projects in Providence

By HANNAH KERMAN Staff writer

A church floor in downtown Providence became the sleeping ground for 35 Brown students with a common interest in community service during their last week of winter vacation.

The students, participating in the Swearer Center Winter Break Projects program, engaged with local organizations and discussed their experiences by day and returned to the Beneficent Congregational Church for reflection and repose by night.

During the program, which ran Jan. 13-19, 10 student leaders guided students split into six different groups — Beyond Healthcare, Environmental Activism, Immigration and Labor, Refugee Communities, The Road to Ending Homelessness and the State of Education.

“Brown has been one of the pioneers of break projects,” said Alan Flam, Swearer Center director of advising and community collaborations.

Many students work “in clinics in South America or building houses in New Orleans — then they leave and that’s the end of their relationship

Feature

with the community,” said Amelia Friedman ’14, student coordinator of Winter Break Projects. Instead, the Swearer Center Winter Break Projects provide a “high-intensity, high-impact” week in Providence, a service experience that the Swearer Center facilitators hope will continue after the break ends, Friedman added.

Winter Break Projects — which the Swearer Center has sponsored in Providence for the last 10 years — are led by student experts and change depending on the student leadership, Friedman said, though they generally revolve around specific local issues.

“Last year, a huge focus was Brown’s relationship with Providence,” she said, while this year’s students explored questions of race and identity.

Friedman, who participated in last year’s project before becoming this year’s student coordinator, said this is the first year there has been an environmental group and a blogging effort. Each team has continued to post conversations and exchange information through the Winter Break Projects blog. The groups seek to make it easier for other Brown students to become involved in the greater Providence community, Friedman added.

The program aims to give students the chance “to meet someone and say, ‘You rock, I want to work with you,’” Friedman said. Flam said 80 percent of students who become involved in Winter Break Projects continue

to stay involved in local efforts and companies they visit.

On a typical day of the Winter Break Projects, participants were expected to be ready to start the day by 8:15 a.m., Flam said, and would engage in activities like visiting neighborhood health clinics and shelters and attending talks by community members and Brown professors.

Participant Adam Kopp ’15, member of Beyond Healthcare — a project that addresses the social factors affecting community health in Providence — said he was particularly impressed by the indoor market hosted by Farm Fresh Rhode Island and the Olneyville community-based rebuilding project.

“It was cool to see the holistic approach they were taking to try to rejuvenate the neighborhood,” he said.

After spending each day in Providence, the groups came together at the church to cook dinner and discuss the day’s activities. The Refugee Communities group invited locals with whom they had been working to their cooking night, which resulted in an evening of kids running around the church, Kopp said. “One told me that I run like an old lady,” he recalled.

Dinners provided students the chance to “compare experiences and ideas,” Kopp said. The program “made me want to double my efforts in Providence, maybe not double — I don’t want to quantify — but do more and get more involved in what I am doing.”

Fashion showcase opens downtown Fifth annual StyleWeek Northeast provides bold forum for budding designers

By PALAK WALIA Contributing Writer

Emerging fashion designers will flaunt their new pieces in runway shows, showcases and a competition at StyleWeek Northeast, which started Monday at the Biltmore Hotel downtown.

Rosanna Ortiz Sinel, president and founder of StyleWeek, started the event in 2009 with hopes of “connecting buyers and press with emerging design talent,” according to StyleWeek’s website.

Elisa Iacono-Mears, vice president and managing director of StyleWeek, said Sinel recognized a designer community that lacked a forum for showcasing its work and identified an opportunity for fashion to flourish in Providence. “Providence really

embraces art and culture. Residents are more willing to take risks away from the traditional conservative style of New England,” said StyleWeek’s Public Relations Director Shawn Simmons, citing the “bold and exciting looks” of the event.

Sinel’s original idea was to foster the design community through a networking cocktail party open only to members of the press and buyers for fashion stores, Iacono-Mears said. But since then, StyleWeek has expanded into an event open to the public.

“We want (StyleWeek) to be an experience rather than just people walking around and mingling,” Simmons said.

The event also features the SEED fashion show, a student designer competition Jan. 30. This year, most student designers hail from schools in Massachusetts, but the show has previously included RISD designers, Iacono-Mears said.

Students “have the opportunity to

work in an environment you can only really see in New York,” Iacono-Mears added.

“I was once a student interested in fashion,” Iacono-Mears said. “I had a wonderful boss who was my mentor, so I see that as my responsibility to do the same for all the wonderful students who are working for us.”

She added the most impressive part about the event is seeing designers progress in the industry after participating in StyleWeek.

As part of a planned expansion, StyleWeek has also held events in Miami and Boston.

StyleWeek events have varying prices, with a student discount for all events. StyleWeek runs from Jan. 27 to Feb. 2 at the Biltmore.

City introduces tobacco regulations Laws targets flavored and discounted tobacco to decrease use among Providence youth

By Lee bernstein contributing writer

Two city ordinances banning the sale of flavored tobacco products and eliminating discounts on tobacco products went into effect in Providence Jan. 3.

Mayor Angel Taveras logged a strong victory over tobacco companies last month when U.S. District Court Chief Judge Mary Lisi ruled in the city’s favor in a lawsuit filed by the National Association of Tobacco Outlets.

It was a “major victory in the fight to ban the sale of tobacco products that are aimed at our children,” Taveras wrote in a letter to city residents.

These laws are an “important step in reducing youth tobacco usage to make for a healthier, stronger city,” he wrote.

The first ordinance bans the sale of non-cigarette flavored tobacco products, which the law defines as “those infused with fruit, chocolate, vanilla, honey, candy, cocoa, herbs, spices or dessert flavors,” according to a press release from the Taveras administration. The second law bans

/ / Teams page 8 and have been watching them all season because this team is good. Most of the attention is on the Los Angeles Clippers, and rightly so, since less than a decade ago, people were more likely to associate them with a youth sailing organization than a professional basketball team.

But I think this year’s version of the Warriors is capable of staying on the court with any team in the league. Though if history is any indication, the second you read those last words, the entire team developed multiple career-ending ailments as an earthquake engulfed Oracle Arena — and only Oracle Arena.

Luckily, the loss of their home court won’t be too bitter of a pill to swallow, as the team is scheduled to relocate to a brand new stadium on the San Fran-

Sports

vendors from accepting and issuing coupons or vouchers that would result in tobacco sales below retail prices.

Nearly 25 percent of the city’s public school children use tobacco products by the time they are seniors in high school and 23,000 Rhode Island children under the age of 18 are at risk of premature death resulting from a smoking-related illness, Taveras wrote.

“Fruit flavored products tend to be geared towards children and … look like candy,” said Michael Solomon, city council president.

Tobacco vendors who violate these new regulations will be “subject to a fine of $250 for a first offense, $350 for a second offense and $500 for a third offense by the Providence Board of Licenses,” according to the press release.

“I hope that Monday’s ruling inspires other communities to follow our lead and take a stand against Big Tobacco,” Taveras wrote.

Maine and New York City are the only other localities that currently maintain bans on flavored tobacco products. California, Hawaii, Minnesota, Utah and Wisconsin have passed some restrictions on the availability of discounted tobacco products, according to the Tobacco Control Legal Consortium. cisco waterside in a few years. With the impending 49ers Super Bowl victory (Yes, you heard it here first, too), the City by the Bay is about to become Titletown, USA. More seriously, the Warriors are essentially the New York Knicks 2.0.

They’ve been winning without Andrew Bogut whose nearing return will add a Tyson Chandler-like paint protector to their renewed defensive focus and also push David Lee to his natural power forward position. The two big men are also surrounded by sweet shooting guards in Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson. Harrison Barnes is getting better every day and not doing something incredibly stupid as frequently as I originally predicted.

What this all means is that the Warriors could emerge from All-Star weekend to become legitimate title contenders, and with Vegas odds currently at 75:1 for a Golden State championship, put down this week’s beer stipend and enjoy your free money come June.

comics Class Notes | Philip Trammel

comics.browndailyherald.com

6 editorial Editorial

Editorial cartoon b y a n g e l i a wa n g

Back to the future

The recession’s effects on student attitudes toward higher education are clear. In a survey of 283 four-year colleges and universities published by the University of California at Los Angeles, a record high 88 percent of freshmen said “ability to get a better job” was a “very important” motivation to go to college. Almost three out of four freshmen — another all-time high — rated “ability to make more money” as a key reason for pursuing a college degree.

In light of this, we want to remind students of the complexity and possibilities of the job market. Lifelong careers are not necessarily determined by first jobs, and with its emphasis on intellectual development, a liberal education is valuable in preparing us for flexible professional lives.

As noted in a recent article in the Chronicle of Higher Education, “discourse on the value of higher education dangerously conflates what one will do immediately after graduation, or in any single job, with one’s entire life prospects.” Such conflation is simply inaccurate. A recent study found that the average member of the millenial generation will have held seven jobs by age 26. This represents a stark contrast to younger baby boomers, who typically hold about 11 jobs in a lifetime, according to a study by the Department of Labor. It is thus illogical and simplistic to ascribe all of one’s dreams to the first job landed after graduation.

Perhaps because careers seem so unfixed, students often feel pressured to seek the jobs that are most visible and seem translatable to a career. Banks and financial firms are popular at University career fairs and in CareerLAB workshops and presentations. Additionally, the application process for jobs at financial firms resembles the college application process with essays, resumes, test scores and interviews.

But familiarity should not be the reason to seek these jobs, particularly when so many other opportunities are available and when we have the flexibility to change careers. Social job sites like LinkedIn are excellent sources of networking for jobs that may be more personally fulfilling or align more closely with one’s academic interests. In addition, the Student Job and Internship Board offers many listings aimed at applicants of various interests. Contacting exciting organizations has never been easier. And the alumni network is a wonderful resource for learning about what it takes to build a career.

This is not to disparage those interested in finance, as it is a viable and attractive part of the job market. According to the executive staffing firm Robert Half ’s 2013 Salary Guide for Accounting and Finance, the unemployment rate for college graduates with specialized accounting skills is relatively low, and the salaries of those in the industry are set to increase — an attractive prospect given the state of the economy. Rather, this is to note the importance of considering the full range of options available to us as we seek career paths after graduation. We must value the ideals of our liberal arts education as essential tools in our future careers.

As older students have been told and as newer ones will hear, a Brown education is more than a step toward employment. It is a development of critical mental faculties — not strictly the means to a career but rather a base from which to build a varied and meaningful professional life.

President Christina Paxson said it best in her inaugural address: “I hope that our students get jobs shortly after completing their educations, and we do all we can to make that happen. But if our students are to be prepared for ‘lives of reputation and usefulness’ in the twenty-first century, they must leave here with something much more nuanced but ultimately more valuable than the skills of a particular trade.”

Editorials are written by The Herald’s editorial page board: its editor, Dan Jeon, and its members, Mintaka Angell, Samuel Choi, Nicholas Morley and Rachel Occhiogrosso. Send comments to editorials@browndailyherald.com.

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the brown daily herald Tuesday, January 29, 2013

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quote of the day

“If we have to pay so much for room and board, I should have basic heating.”

— Andrea Chiang ‘15 See heating on page 3.

Correc tion An editorial cartoon in Monday’s Herald was incorrectly attributed to Angelia Wang.. In fact, the cartoon was by Aanchal Saraf. The Herald regrets the error.

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opinions 7

the brown daily herald Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The gun mandate adam asher Opinions Columnist

When innocent people are killed in a burst of gun violence, gun control rhetoric can never be far behind. It is only natural then, that the latest mass shooting in America’s sordid history — the Sandy Hook massacre — has prompted some of the most heated debate over gun legislation in recent memory. Much of the talk about new legislation has centered on banning assault weapons, high-capacity ammunition clips such as “banana clips” and expanding background checks for would-be gun owners. In other words, the people controlling the debate are those who want to restrict access to guns and ammunition.

Wayne LaPierre, the executive vice president and CEO of the National Rifle Association, has come under fire — no pun intended — for suggesting that the most effective deterrent to future school shootings would be legislation requiring armed guards in every school. His critics say he is out of touch and borderline delusional. Surely, so their argument goes, the answer to gun violence cannot be more guns.

While I agree with his critics in part, I don’t think he should be criticized for suggesting we put more guns in schools.

No, the problem with Mr. LaPierre’s proposal is that it does not go far enough. Of course we should have people with guns

in every school. But what about our workplaces? Our shopping malls? Our places of worship? The only way to ensure that every American citizen is safe from the very real threat of gun violence is to make it mandatory for every American citizen of legal age to own, and carry with them at all times, a firearm.

I recognize my proposal is unorthodox, but consider the state of the country today.

It is a fact that roughly 10,000 Americans die each year as a result of gun violence. It

of a certain Depression-era German chancellor who restricted gun ownership early on in his career — a man whom I’ll refrain from naming.

The second direction is to protect people from guns, and the people who own them, already out there. In other words, this idea takes the third fact stated above into consideration. The beauty in a law that increases, rather than decreases, gun ownership, lies in its simplicity. We often talk about “leveling the playing field.” What better way to

The only way to ensure that every American citizen is safe from the very real threat of gun violence is to make it mandatory for every American citizen of legal age to own, and carry with them at all times, a firearm. is a fact that you are 40 times more likely to be killed by gun violence in the United States than in the United Kingdom. It is a fact that the United States has the highest rate of guns per 100 persons of any country in the world.

There are two ways to go about remedying the first two problems. The first is “gungrabbing,” which includes the aforementioned proposed ban on assault weapons and high-capacity ammunition clips, and more draconian measures which seek to restrict gun ownership and reduce the danger posed by existing guns. This ban would be ineffectual at best, and at worst, reminiscent

level the playing field of daily life in America than to guarantee every citizen the same power of life and death? Even if someone were to attempt another massacre, he’d be neutralized quickly by responsible, triggerready citizens before it even became a news event. Or — on the more fantastical side of things — as Gene Weingarten postulated this month in the Washington Post, “With the possibility that everyone, everywhere, is packing, no one will risk being impolite.”

Imagine an America where you can escort your child across the street with a .357 Magnum at your side, say “good morning” to the M-16-wielding crossing guard and

drop your child off at the bus stop where he’ll be whisked away to school. Guards with semi-automatic rifles will escort him to class and patrol the hallways for trouble as you go about your daily business, secure in the knowledge that your little angel is safe and sound and help is only a triggerpull away. It would be a safer, more peaceful and more secure America.

Of course, there are other measures we could take. We could make sure that the mentally ill in our country are properly cared for and never feel that violence is their only way out of the darkness. We, as consumers, could put pressure on news outlets to show the victims of gun violence, rather than plastering the shooters’ faces on our screens and newspapers at every opportunity as if they were deranged folk heroes.

We could each make it our personal responsibility to reject the glorification of violence and bloodshed and move towards a more compassionate, empathetic society. These aren’t quick fixes — they’re difficult, unsexy and require real effort on all our parts. Nevertheless, if we want to effect real change in our society to put this awful chapter of our history behind us, this kind of individual effort is what is necessary.

But let’s be realistic here.

Adam Asher ‘15 is concentrating in Classics and can be followed on Twitter (@ asheradams).

The views expressed in this opinions piece are satirical and should not be taken seriously.

Success and life’s 80 percent By nico enriquez Opinions Columnist As an alum of Gap Year University and a current humble first-year at Brown, I have experienced two wildly different years since I graduated from high school. Last year was full of real world experiences like job applications, fifty-hour workweeks, Craigslist roommate searches, grocery runs and rental contracts. In all my rambling and playing adult, I felt that high school and the parallel quest to get in to a good university had prepared me pretty well for assuming the mantle of responsibility. The fact is that Brown students generally know how to succeed in the real world before they start living in it.

Still, as I learned in my year off, there is one skill that I wish I had learned to cultivate: public speaking. Brown should require that we learn that holy art.

My gap year job as a lab henchman taught me the importance of presentation.

An essential part of my lab work was quarterly lab demonstrations, in which I was required to present my findings to groups of people who intimidated and awed me every four weeks. I had never learned how to do that. The countless hours I spent designing, gathering and sifting through data were demeaned and made less comprehensible by my inability to present in an eloquent and entertaining manner. At my midterm presentation, the data that I expected to be well-received and potentially published was instead met with glossed-over eyes, yawns

and slouches. My confidence hemorrhaged.

I began to think about which scientists, corporations, artists and politicians had the biggest impact on the world. The real gamechangers are the ones who have an idea and get it out there. President Obama is not the most intelligent man in the world, but he knows how to speak, and now he is the one with the most power to do good. Apple does not provide the most capabilities or the best value, but the company knows how to present products. Not surprisingly, it is now the world’s most valuable corporation. The reason Darwin is arguably the

Businessmen must sell products, investments or ideas to people with money. Communication is everything. Woody Allen famously said, “80 percent of success is showing up,” but if you cannot communicate and make the case that what you have is important, then you might as well stay home.

Brown already recognizes that for its graduates to be competitive, they must be able to communicate through writing — that is why we must take WRIT-designated courses. But public presentation does not end there. Brown should make us learn to speak. Spoken communication classes

Woody Allen famously said, “80 percent of success is showing up,” but if you cannot communicate … then you might as well stay home.

most important scientist of all time is because he wrote “On The Origin of Species.”

The church wouldn’t allow him to speak, so he used written words and cemented his legacy for all time.

Every career path requires communication skills. Lab researchers must make the case for why their work is important at conferences. Writers must participate in book tours and television appearances. Teachers make their careers out of communicating.

should be at least as prevalent as classes that are WRIT-designated, because in the real world spoken communication is used exponentially more than written communication. To do that, our school must offer more public speaking classes and designate them as Spoken Communication (SC).

Brown should then require all students to complete two SC classes before senior year. The only speaking course I have found is TAPS 0220: “Persuasive Communica-

tion,” which is tiny and restricted to seniors.

In general, each class should include more speaking assignments. Any class that has any sort of research component — almost every class — should have an easy time introducing a presentation assignment. Larger classes could use sections as presentation times or they could follow a method similar to the required presentations in ENGN 0090: “Management of Industrial and Nonprofit Organizations,” in which students schedule presentation times with their teaching assistants. Smaller classes could use their class periods. In this manner, it would be very simple for Brown to enrich the education of its students with a speaking component all while keeping the Open Curriculum intact. No one would have to make too much of an effort to take a speaking class.

After my terrible showing in my gap year lab presentations, I resolved to work much harder on how I spoke and presented. A few weeks later, I had improved enough to have several people congratulating me after my talks. By the end of my work, I presented a strong enough case that my boss even wrote an article on the data to send to the Nature Methods Journal, though it may never be published. What changed over my time at the lab? It wasn’t that the data got any more convincing — it was that I became more convincing in my presentation.

Success lies in presentation. Speaking is the most important method of presentation.

Therefore, speaking is crucial to success.

Nico Enriquez ’16 can be reached at nenriquez3@gmail.com.

daily herald sports tuesday the Brown

SCOREBOARD

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

M. Tennis

W. Tennis

M. TRACK/FIELD

M. SWIm & Dive

SKIING

Clemson 4 Brown 0

Missouri 4 Brown 0

1st Place @Joe Donahue Games

Columbia 160 Brown 133

1st Place @ Clarkson Carnival

Purdue 4 Brown 2

Michigan 7 Brown 0

W. TRACK/FIELD

W. SWIM & DIVE

WRESTLING

4th Place @Joe Donahue Games

Columbia 186 Brown 108

Army 29 Brown 9

TRACK

Brown races past the competition at Terrier Invitational Track teams gear up for upcoming meets after training throughout intercession

By MARIA ACABADO SPORTS STAFF WRITER

The men and women of track and field had a strong showing Jan. 25 at the Joe Donahue Games in Northeastern University’s Reggie Lewis Center, with the men placing first and the women placing fourth. Both teams continued their success at the Terrier Invitational held Jan. 26 at Boston University.

Head Coach Tim Springfield acknowledged the end of January and February as an important time for the teams.

“That’s when the mentality shifts from preparation to actually performing and competing,” Springfield said.

“We’re looking forward to get out there at a major level competition.”

At the Reggie Lewis Center, Zach Keefer ’13 placed first in the 500-meter with a time of 1 minute, 6.5 seconds. Co-captain Kenny Thompson

’13 took second place in the triple jump with a jump of 14.22 meters.

“The two weekends previous have been more low-key meets that are more to get the rust off and get a feel for competing again,” Thompson said.

“This was a really impressive weekend for us.”

Anthony Mazola ’16 and Julian Jiggetts ’16 also contributed competitive performances. Mazola ran two solid races, placing second in the 60-meter dash with a time of 7.02 seconds, and first in the 200-meter dash with a time of 21.93 seconds. Jiggetts placed third in the 400-meter dash, clocking in at less than 51 seconds.

“It’s great to see upperclassmen performing at a high level this early in the season,” said Thompson. “It’s even better to see the younger guys making huge strides.”

For the women, Lily Harrington ’16 debuted in the mile run with a time of 5:06, earning second place.

Elaine Kuckertz ’13 finished just behind Harrington for third.

Jocelyn West ’13 and Morayo Akande ’16 finished in the top four in the high jump, clearing 1.65 meters

and 1.60 meters, respectively.

At the Terrier Invitational, John Spooney ’14 placed eighth in the 200-meter dash, finishing with a time of 21.60 seconds. Henry Tufnell ’15 earned ninth with a 1:53.10 finish in the 800-meter run. Erik Berg ’13 finished 11th in the one mile run with a personal record time of 4:03.93.

“We’ve been training really hard,” Berg said. “If one person does well, everybody feeds off that.”

Bree Shugarts ’13 finished sixth in the mile run with a time of 4:53.61, while Olivia Mickle ’13 finished eighth in the 3,000-meter run with 9:41.91.

Alexandra Stanton ’15 claimed ninth place in the 400, and Sasha Teninty ’14 and Tess Plant-Thomas ’13 both finished in the top 20 of the 800.

“Going into competition this weekend, the team was positive and excited,” Mickle said. “Both meets this weekend offered great competition and opportunities to compete at a high level early in the season.”

Both squads are preparing for their next meet in Kingston, R.I., while keeping an eye on the upcoming conference championship meet,

JESSE SCHWIMMER / HERALD

After performing well at the Invitational, the teams look to succeed at the Ivy League Heptagonal Championships. Herald file photo. the Ivy League Heptagonal Championships.

“We had really good marks across the board against very good compe-

tition,” Thompson said. “We’re four weeks away from HEPS, so this is the time when everything starts coming together.”

Shaw ’13: Tearing ACLs and breaking heart after heart Tom Shaw Sports Columnist

A lot can change in the matter of a month. Here I was, preparing to invite the New York Knicks to the big boy club after they rattled off multiple impressive victories over playoff-caliber teams, when their 20-point beat down of the reigning champ Miami Heat (that’s an incredibly ugly four words) signaled that the Knicks were not only capable of keeping up with the best, but also of utterly dominating strong teams. Since then, the Knicks have cooled off, and while they’re definitely still contenders, I don’t think teams are as scared of playing them as much as they might have been four weeks ago.

It certainly doesn’t help when your star player has a very public altercation and suspension involving his wife, Kevin Garnett and Honey Nut Cheerios.

And in the middle of December, the Seattle Seahawks submitted one of the all-time greatest defensive performances against an Arizona Cardinal team quarterbacked by Manti Te’o’s girlfriend while simultaneously proving that no one cares about doping in football. But they do when it comes to baseball rumors and cancer survivors. It wasn’t even hard to tell who was taking Adderall since the offenders looked like they had just hooked up with a Smurfette. The Seahawks’ de-

fense continued to do a great job until the final minute of their divisional round in Atlanta when they allowed Matt Ryan to un-Matt-Ryan himself, paving the way for a last-second game-winning field goal for the Falcons.

In the AFC, the New England Patriots were getting hot at the right time, until they ran into the Baltimore “Murderers” in the championship round. You may be thinking that I am referring to Ray Lewis who famously stabbed a man to death, hid the bloody suit he was wearing and paid off everyone involved. This charade ultimately led to him being called the greatest leader and role model of our generation. But that’s a cheap shot and unimaginative writing. Just remember that the man hanging out with the cute little kid in that Visa commercial very recently, brutally killed a man in cold blood. No, I won’t bring that up anymore even though Ray Lewis is a stabber (stabbist? Stab artist?).

The murderer I am referring to is notorious Patriot-killer Bernard Pollard. Honestly, I’m surprised his track record of breaking Patriots (Tom Brady’s ACL in 2008, Wes Welker’s ACL in 2009, Rob Gronkowski’s high ankle sprain in 2012 and Stevan Ridley’s brief visit to the River Styx in 2013) isn’t more of a story than Ray Lewis getting medieval on a guy (oops). The game was in a stalemate until Pollard’s crushing headshot to Ridley, which led to a fumble and swung the momentum in Baltimore’s favor. I don’t blame Pollard for temporarily killing Ridley, since the replays show Ridley leading

with his head as the two collided. But I also can’t stand the fact that I knew this was going to happen a week before the game, spent the first half dreading the Pollard-induced injury that was sure to occur, let my guard down and regained my faith in humanity before, like for Ridley, everything went black, and I forgot my name and where I was.

As much as I’d like to dwell on my favorite teams failing (the Celtics’ season is going down the drain as quickly as Jason Terry’s trade value), if you’re only here for recaps, you’re out of luck. Instead, I will channel my youthful naivete and tell you that Paul Pierce, reinvigorated by his All-Star snub, will pace the league with over 30 points per game, rally his team to a championship and bring banner 18 to Boston before riding off into the sunset with Kevin Garnett. Meanwhile, Ray Allen will be implicated in a massive sex scandal involving Kobe Bryant and the Miami Heat locker room. You heard it here first. That is, unless, a major injury occurs that drastically changes the way that this Boston team is constructed.

The Rondo injury just turned my optimistic outlook into a downright psychotic one. But I’m sticking to my guns and telling you that despite the loss of “Mutant-hands” Rondo for the season (Seriously, that’s got to be the worst superpower ever right?), I still see the Celtics making it to the second round of the playoffs. They’re only three games behind the seventh-seeded Bucks and four behind the Hawks, so there are plenty of opportunities in the steaming

pile of mediocrity that is the bottom of the Eastern conference. While getting home-court advantage can only be owner Wyc “Bobby Kraft Jr.” Grousbeck’s pipe dream, Boston could gain a more favorable first-round matchup against either New York or Chicago. Losing an All-Star point guard certainly doesn’t help, but Courtney Lee has overcome his early season slump and Leandro Barbosa has shown the ability to run the offense in limited minutes, albeit in a completely different style than a Rondo-led offense.

At least last Sunday’s double-overtime win over the Miami Heat shows it’s still possible to win against the best, and for those of you saying it’s time to tank the season, I think it’s more likely that Kevin Garnett commits seppuku before he lets his team lose games on purpose.

But this does put the C’s in a precarious position. The odds of the Celtics making any kind of deep run is essentially zero at this point, even though people have been saying that for years and it’s come back to bite them every time. I love this team, but unless certain role players make major improvements — ahem, Jason Terry — there’s just not enough talent surrounding Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett to win consistently. Losing Rondo also puts much more pressure on the two stars to take on heavier minutes to compensate for the loss of offense — something that could lead to another major injury down the road. Given the duo’s age, this is definitely a scenario that Danny Ainge has to consider if other teams are offering reasonable deals. At

the same time, the Celtics, as they are currently constructed, are still too good to lose to the soon-to-be Charlotte Hornets, meaning that they are in the no man’s land of playing poorly enough to both fail to contend and miss out on the top draft picks. To complicate things even further, the Boston stars are all signed to extremely friendly contracts (Pierce, Rondo, Bradley, Sullinger), while the flotsam have egregious deals (Green, Terry, Bass, Lee). I only left out KG because he is being severely underpaid this year, but is signed until past his 39th birthday. This makes a straight-up trade incredibly difficult because you’re either getting cents on the dollar, or looking to deal with an incredibly incompetent front office.

Normally, you’d just point straight to Sacramento, but their impending move to Seattle essentially has the team locked down. That just leaves complex multiteam deals to speculate on, so fire up the ESPN trade machine and apologize to your thesis advisor for being two months behind schedule. (Sorry, Dr. Smith.)

A more likely scenario than Boston rising from the ashes (You’d think this would be their low point, but it was actually when Big Baby Davis revealed his pregame meal is spaghetti and pancakes) is the Golden State Warriors making a deep run through the rest of the regular season and playoffs. For more longtime readers (Hi mom!), you’ll remember that I pegged the Warriors as a team ready to play on the next level, but dysfunctional enough to bottom out too. I hope you took my advice / / Teams page 5