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Issue # 40
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March/April 2013
The Power
Ever since Day One of getting help for our problems, these two words have been hammered into our heads; Make Meetings. We know that once we went to one, or two, or even a thousand, it became clear – there's something powerful and almost magical that goes on - in the meetings and often outside the meetings. Sure, there's very logical explanations for the great feelings that can come from people with similar problems meeting in a social situation to share their pain, experience, strength and hope. The “foxhole” humor alone is enough to make even the most cynical meeting maker smile...we are very funny people. The list of benefits that comes from these group meetings is endless; we get to share tactics on how to fight our disease. We find our sponsors there, usually. People that will be our guiding light through the sometimes dark, rocky terrain that the recovery process and our new found sobriety encounter. We get to ventilate – to complain if we need to, to just talk about what's going on with us or even, better yet, to share some of our minor (and major) successes with people who know how hard we fought to achieve them. We often get a feeling of gratitude because we always hear of other people's problems which, more times than not, seem to be a lot worse than ours. We learn meeting after meeting that we are not unique – that we all have these 'crazy' heads, full of twisted thinking and warped perspectives and thank God we have a place to come to to remind us that we're not insane! {Well, not totally insane, anyway. LOL} Like we said, this list could go on forever. We find jobs there, soul mates, you name it – it's there. But above and beyond all these very concrete advantages of going to meetings there is something very electric going on – something magical. Here's proof; go to a convention or roundup (usually a 3 day weekend of addicts /alcoholics/gamblers, etc. meeting in a hotel for fun and fellowship) and make sure you stay awhile...especially for the 'closing prayer'. Guaranteed you will get chills or goose bumps. But even at a regular, often attended meeting, we will feel an emotional lift or transformation that is hard to explain. This is for sure; we almost always feel better when leaving a meeting than we did when we first got there. We're rejuvenated – it's as if we went to some kind of 'hot springs for the head' – a mental spa! Sometimes, however, we might go to meetings and not feel that jazzed
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MeeTings
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up after we leave. We might even say to ourselves, “I'm not going back to that group – they're all snobs. {or cliques, or too young or too old, or whatever}” We are people who are wired for instant gratification so it can be understandable (but extremely dangerous), if we feel like we “didn't get anything” from a particular meeting. Dangerous because we don't realize sometimes the subtle benefits we get even from meetings we don't like. We have to remember that just hearing about not taking the first one, or seeing people coming fresh back from a relapse are enough “jazz” sometimes. Often the power of meetings can be seen when we take a look at what happens when WE DON'T make meetings. Almost every one of us will acknowledge the fact that when we miss meetings, we start to feel crazy. Why? Because our disease (dis-ease or uneasiness) is in our head. Between our ears. So even if we feel that we're not in danger of “picking up”, that we can skip this meeting or that one, we forget the other power that meetings have – to help keep us sane. That is very powerful. Especially because once we kind of lose our perspective on things or unconsciously start to rearrange our priorities, we are heading for big trouble. We have all heard that a relapse starts way before we pick up the first one. For many of us who have relapsed, it was skipping meetings that was the first step in our downward spiral. But the real, tangible power of meetings has got to be the feeling of “birds of a feather flocking together!” One alcoholic helping another. Two addicts talking about how they didn't use! The founding fathers of AA sure hit the jackpot when they came up with this idea – and the way to do it – by having 'scheduled' meetings. Even the most antisocial member still feels a part of our various fellowships. We always try to make even the shyest person feel welcome. That is powerful. And it produces great feelings for both. There's a whole lot more great examples of the power of meetings. How about this one; you're at a meeting and somebody mentions your name and how much you helped them. Man, that feeling is priceless. Yes, it might be an ego stroke, or not good for our 'humility' – but what a powerful thing. That feeling at that meeting produced at that moment is what happens when we go to lots of meetings. We have to remember that if we don't go to a lot of meetings, we might not get that, and so many other examples of the power of meetings.
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Issue # 40
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Being a Bi-Polar Addict Bipolar disorder may be trendy today, but it wasn’t when I was first diagnosed. And my unwillingness to accept my condition made it harder to get sober. What I mean by that is, when I was first diagnosed, I’d never even really heard of bipolar as a mental illness before. I knew the Jimi Hendrix “Manic Depression” song. And I’d heard stories of how Francis Coppola was such a crazy genius back in the '70s, but how once he started taking Lithium, he lost his creative edge and ended up making movies like—well—Jack. Oh and of course, Nirvana had that “Lithium” song. But other than that, I wasn’t super aware of bi-polar disorder in popular culture. Now hit TV shows like Homeland and Academy Award-nominated movies like The Silver Linings Playbook all feature bi-polar characters. Bipolar disorder is very real for me. But it’s also completely manageable. I remember when I was first diagnosed, sitting in a psychiatrist’s office in West LA. She took down her large copy of the DSM, opened it to the appropriate page and then passed it over. Reading the bullet points of the many symptoms, I began checking them off in my mind: The manic episodes characterized by periods of sleeplessness; being more talkative than normal; “flight of ideas;” racing thoughts; “excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences”—basically the story of my life—followed by severe debilitating depression that can last for days, weeks, or even months. Of course, being diagnosed didn’t mean I was going to comply with treatment. Even though I could recognize the symptoms in myself, I still remembering feeling like doctors, in this day and age, seem pretty quick to slap labels on every single person with any kind of problem. All these disorders—ADD, ADHD, bi-polar, borderline, even Autism or Asperger’s Syndrome—seem to have exploded in popularity over the last 10 years. And along with each disorder comes a mountain of medication—all helping to line Big Pharma's pockets. So, in my self-righteous, addicted, delusional way, I decided I didn’t want to be a part of that process.
The fact that I was a total hypocrite, taking street drugs that no doubt contributed to gang violence, exploitation, and all that terrible Maria Full of Grace [movie about a pregnant drug smuggler]-type stuff never even crossed my mind. Crystal meth and heroin were fine in my mind but somehow I told myself that Lithium and Prozac were contributing to the evil corporate culture taking over America. So I refused to take my meds and refused to accept the diagnosis. I thought I was better than other people who needed that nonsense. But while my friends who were in rehab and treating their disorders managed to stay sober, I kept on relapsing over and over again. And I began having to admit that maybe one of the reasons I couldn’t stay sober was that this disease I “didn’t have” was making my life completely unmanageable. Because even when I was sober, I kept going through these crazy manic periods where I’d have obsessive thoughts and even delusions. There was the time that, before I got on an airplane to go back to Savannah from San Francisco, a very pretty religious freak girl came up and asked randomly if she could pray over me. Somehow, in my messed-up brain, I remember feeling this intense energy shooting back and forth between us. It was enough to make me believe in God, and so I began talking on the phone to her every day for hours and hours, convinced I was going to fly up to Redding to join her religious cult and be with her. That month my phone bill was $800. I’d go days without sleeping. It felt like I was in a car with the gas pedal pushed down to the floor, revving fast inside me so I couldn’t sit still. The trip to Redding never happened, though, because a depressive episode hit me and I ended up being unable to move out of the fetal position. And I missed that high feeling so darn much that, not surprisingly, I did end up taking pills again—not the ones I was prescribed, but Klonopin and Vicodin. Those pills led to hard drugs again, and on it went. I’m not saying that my being bipolar was the only reason I kept relapsing. But it definitely made staying sober a whole lot harder. And I’m honestly not sure what made me finally give in and start taking my medication. For the full story by Nic Sheff, visit www.TheFix.com
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March/April 2013
"Victory belongs to the most persevering." – Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor and military genius of the 1800s. Let’s acknowledge at the outset that recovery can be challenging. And the challenges don’t stop coming just because we achieve our first year of sobriety or even ten years clean and sober. It’s just that they change over time. But having challenges ahead of us or facing us now isn’t a bad thing. On the contrary, we need challenges to motivate us, to keep us active, to help us grow. We need to exert a little stick-to-it-ness. It is understandable that we’d want to procrastinate or give up on certain tasks when we haven’t seen any progress. However, sometimes we give up too soon. Maybe we didn’t really put enough effort into it in the first place? Did we lack the knowledge or experience or resources or help we needed? Did we even bother to try to get those things? If we find that our answers inform us that we didn’t do all we could, there’s always today to get started on the task or project again. There is nothing stopping us from getting right back at it, nothing, that is, except our own pride or stubbornness. The only real way to get what we want is to craft a plan of action, get to work, and stay at the task through to completion. Perseverance has some close cousins, and all of them are worthwhile to develop. These include persistence, determination, motivation and enthusiasm. And we will likely encounter some roadblocks along the way. We cannot
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expect that everything is going to go smoothly at all times. That’s simply not realistic. There will be some minor and some major blips we’ll need to deal with and this is once again where perseverance will come in handy. We really have to want to achieve the goal for perseverance to come a little more naturally. If we’re only half-hearted about it, our efforts are likely to reflect this lack of enthusiasm. Of course, not every goal is one that fills us with enthusiasm. Some goals that we have, such as being clean and sober for a year, are ones that we’re worried about and don’t know if we have what it takes. We can still pursue them and do what it takes to get us there. For example, don’t feel like sharing yet? That’s okay, too. There’s nothing that says we have to blurt out our fears and worries right away in the 12-step rooms. But it would be good for us to talk with our sponsor about our challenges and discuss ways that we can overcome some of the hurdles we presently face. That’s what our sponsor is here for. We should definitely make use of this staunch ally. Think of achieving our goals as victory, for that is exactly what it is. Many goals have a long and difficult road for us to travel before we find ourselves successful. In a way, this is much like a tough challenge that we set out to achieve or even a war, in that we’re going up against the unknown and need certain strengths or skills in order to succeed. So, victory is very appropriate once we do succeed. We deserve it. We worked for it. We persevered.
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Siberian Psychologists Whip Addicts Clean Siberian psychologists are taking a hardline approach to helping people with addiction: literally beating it out of them. The practitioners claim that lashing addicts on the buttocks with a willow cane can help those for whom more conventional methods have failed. Practitioners Dr. German Pilipenko and Professor Marina Chukhrova say that their treatment is grounded in science: "We cane the patients on the buttocks with a clear and definite medical purpose—it is not some warped sado-masochistic activity," insists Professor Chukhrova. The pair say that addicts suffer from a lack of endorphins, and that pain can stimulate the brain to release the feel-good chemicals, "making patients feel happier in their own skins." Mainstream doctors dismiss the practice, saying that exercise, acupuncture, massage, chocolate or sex are all better at stimulating endorphin secretion. Dr. Pilipenko admits, "we get a lot of skepticism...but so do all pioneers." The Siberian Times reports that "the reaction of most people is predictable: to snicker, scoff or make jokes loaded with sexual innuendo." And one recipient of the treatment, 41-yearold recovering alcoholic Yuri, says his girlfriend accused him of simply visiting a dominatrix. But he adds that although "the first strike was sickening... somehow I got through all 30 lashes. The next day I got up with a stinging backside but no desire at all to touch the vodka in the fridge." [Ed. note: “Yeah, he was afraid of another butt-whooping.” LOL] Natasha, a 22-year-old recovering heroin addict with several months clean, says, "I am the proof that this controversial treatment works, and I recommend it to anyone suffering from an addiction or depression. It hurts like crazy—but it's given me back my life." She receives 60 strokes of the cane per session (drug addicts get double the dose of alcoholics), at a cost of about $100. Her "therapy" is hardly for the faint-hearted: "With each lash," says Natasha, "I scream and grip tight to the end of the surgical table. It's a stinging pain, real agony, and my whole body jolts." But she also insists, "I'm not a masochist. My parents never beat me or even slapped me,
so this was my first real physical pain and it was truly shocking. " [By the way, The Gazette does not recommend this treatment.] Professor Chukhrova stresses that care is taken to ensure clients' safety: "The beating is really the end of the treatment. We do a lot of psychological counseling first, and also use detox. It is only after all the counseling, and heart and pain resistance checks, that we start with the beating." The doctor adds that the willow branches used are "flexible and can't be broken nor cause bleeding." And the practitioners are also at pains to deny any ulterior motives: "If any patients get sexual pleasure from the beatings, we stop immediately," says Professor Chukhrova. "This is not what our treatment is about. If they're looking for that, there are plenty of other places to go." Story By Sarah Beller, Courtesy of www.TheFix.com
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12 Step Gazette’s Surfin’ The Net The best way to have fun and get some recovery in at the same time while you're at your computer is to go 'surfin the net - 12 step style'. Every time we Google anything to do with the phrase, "12 Steps" we get a load of interesting results. There's everything from 12 step music sites with free downloads, chat rooms, recovery merchandise and some great alcoholism/addiction/recovery news sites. Our favorite, by far, is TheFix,com. An unbelievably well put together website that changes and updates their news stories every day and always has very interesting stuff. There's lots about celebrities who are sober (or need to be!), articles about all kinds of relevant and cutting edge topics, all the latest news in treatment - it's the kind of site you have to bookmark and go back to often. Two more sites that we recommend highly are InTheRooms.com and CleanAndSoberNotDead.com. In The Rooms is a state of the art site for recovering people that is not news based – more like Facebook in a 12 step way. They have a lot of interactive meetings of all fellowships, chat rooms and other links. Clean and Sober Not Dead, besides having a great name, has a bunch of links with a little bit of everything. Last but not least is another news site Keep on Trudging. All four of these sites are definitely worth checking out.
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March/April 2013
One of the most clever tools we learn in the recovery process is the use of clichés or slogans. They started on the walls of AA meetings but now every 12 step program has them; “Easy Does It, First Things First, One Day at a Time,” etc. NA followed with some of their own (“Hugs Not Drugs” was an early favorite) Most commonly they’re used as "little chunks of easy to remember words of advice" from one member to another. For example, someone may be "projecting" all kinds of scenarios for an upcoming event and another member will say to them, "Stay in Today". Once you start with these slogans they can almost become as much fun as a party game – take that last example; if I overheard that conversation, I could jump in with "Yesterday's History, Tomorrow's a Mystery!" or “Keep Your Head Where Your Feet Are”. Sometimes our sayings go directly to the point. For example, there’s... “If you want to ‘shoot up’, shoot up a prayer!” We have sayings and clichés for everything. Feeling overwhelmed about something in particular? "Turn It Over", meaning turn it over to God or your higher power. While we're on that topic there's "Let Go and Let God". Getting impatient? A member might chime in, "In God's Time". Sometimes clichés can even go against each other...there's "Think, Think, Think" but there's also "Don't Drink and Don't Think". As they used to say in Vaudeville, "We got a million of 'em!" We sure do. Here's an oldie but goodie, warning newcomer men to be careful of romance. "Beneath Every Skirt There's A Slip" (slip meaning relapse). Sometimes slogans can turn into acronyms, S.L.I.P. = Sobriety Losing Its Priority. But we'll do acronyms in another issue - back to clichés. Here's a GREAT one, "Switching Drugs {ex. I won't do coke, I'll just drink} is Like Changing Seats on the Titanic!" Here's a warning about self pity..."Poor me, poor me, POUR Me a Drink!" Here's some good advice, "Practice an Attitude of Gratitude". I love when these slogans have a rhythm or a rhyme - it makes them easier to remember and more fun to say. At local NA meetings they pass around a list for members to put their phone numbers on so a newcomer can have some people to call. When they hand the list to the newcomer some people will say, "Dial Them Don't File Them!" or "Use Them Don't Lose Them". We are a witty bunch, us recovering people. Here are 2 really great slogans about taking the focus off ourselves: “When you point your finger at somebody, three are pointing right back at you.” That one you have to picture your hand
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with your index finger as the pointer – notice the other 3 fingers are naturally curled pointing in your direction. Cool, huh. How about this deep cliché; “Those who judge don't matter and those who matter don't judge.” If somebody is ready to get clean and sober, these clichés add to the attraction new people feel when they start coming to meetings. Here are two good ones about meeting attendance; "Meeting Makers Make It" and "Seven Days Without a Meeting Makes One WEAK". We hear and learn so many slogans at meetings it's hard to remember them all. Here's two more on 'meetings'; "There Are Only Two Times When We Should Make Make a Meeting – When We Want To and When We Don't!” Another one about meetings...”Don't Just Make a Meeting - Make That Meeting Count (get involved, raise your hand, etc.).” . Here’s one that’s kind of long but worth mentioning for its deep AND clever aspects; “Give this (sobriety/recovery) 90 days and if you’re not happy we’ll gladly refund your misery”. Here’s another one that says quite a bit, “Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle” (sometimes we’ve been known to be too impatient and we give up too quickly). There really are so many of these clichés – “we don’t have a drinking problem, we have a thinking problem.” Here’s a good one…”We have a disease that tells us we don’t have a disease”. Once you get on a topic you come up with one after the other. On the disease subject; “our disease talks to us in our own voice”. You might have to actually be an addict or an alcoholic to understand that one. There are so many slogans let's just “run them” and you interpret them; “Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes!” There's also the long version of that slogan, “If we always do what we always did, we'll always get what we always got.” Here's a funny accurate old AA one; “I Came for My Drinking and Stayed for My Thinking”. The ones that make us laugh are great, too...”I Only Drank on Special Occasions Like the Grand Opening of a Pack of Cigarettes”. Here's a few modern ones; “Stay Connected to Stay Protected” and “You better 'Check in so you don't 'check out'.” Or, “We're only as sick as our secrets.” “Fake it 'till you make it” and “There are no elevators in A.A., only steps” are a couple more good ones. How about two more on change; “Change is a process, not an event” and “If we don't change our clean date will!” We could go on and on but just talk to anybody who has been around the rooms for awhile - you’ll be entertained by the slogans we use.
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It’s all about the people at Malvern Institute It is our goal to ensure you feel welcomed and that you know we are glad you have reached out for help. We will guide you and your family by providing you the utmost excellence in treatment, as you begin the process to lifelong recovery. Welcome to Malvern Institute!
Our Philosophy: Malvern Institute believes in treating the patient as an individual. The key to recovery lies in accepting the nature of the disease. The 12-step approach to recovery is proven, effective, and an invaluable part of our program.
M A LV E R N I N S T I T U T E COUNSELING CENTERS ■ B UCK S
COU NT Y
■ CH ESTER ■ LEHIG H
We believe that by providing our patients with a complete understanding of addiction, they will choose the path of lifelong recovery. Malvern Institute is located in historical Chester County, set in a one-of-a-kind, small-town village in southeast Pennsylvania, approximately 18 miles west of Philadelphia. Please call or visit us to seek help or information for yourself or a loved one that is suffering with the disease of addiction.
COU NT Y
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■ MONTGOM ERY
You will be able to speak to one of our trained professional admission staff 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Courtesy transportation can be provided for inpatient treatment.
COU NT Y
MALVERN INSTITUTE ’S INTAKE CENTER
M A LV E R N I N S T I T U T E MAIN CAMPUS
call us: 610.647.0330
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Vince DiPasquale’s “ThoughT For The MonTh”
March The month of March is a time of transition from winter to spring. We must always have the willingness to change and grow. Let’s take a short journey through these twelve beautiful principals of life that were given to us by a power greater than ourselves. The first three steps help us to lay a strong foundation on which solid growth is based. In the first step we meditate on three special words, Powerlessness, Surrender and Acceptance. They help us to face reality. Step two gives us the gifts of trust and faith, to remind us that we are being guided on our journey by something much more powerful, a Higher Power. We are being taught to open our hearts and mind, to all of God’s messengers. It is the step of faith and humility. Step three reminds us, “to let go and let God”. Release our ego (control) and have the willingness to be open to change and grow. Let’s stop trying to figure out life and learn to go with the flow. Once again we are reminded that we are not in charge. In steps four through nine we are given the opportunity to do our personal work, an adventure of awareness and growth. We are now ready to face our history (personal inventory), to share it with another, to begin the real journey of healing. We take time to face our humanness (our defects of character), another wonderful way of getting to know ourselves. We learn to live by the principle, “All things happen in God’s time, not ours”. Our personal growth is a slow process, a little at a time (patience). In this step, we are also taught how to make peace with the past and to become self- healers. In working these steps, always be open to guidance and direction. Steps ten through twelve are the daily everyday living steps. We are being taught to take time each day to reflect on life. (A Daily Inventory). Prayer and meditation are two special gifts that God (as we understand Him) gives us to help us both to communicate with Him and through meditation to listen and fill our soul with peace, serenity and love. We are taught each day to be open to God’s plan for us. Each day as we wake, we are given the greatest gift of life for another day. Say a prayer of gratitude and take time to meditate on positive thoughts for the day. Finally, live each day as though it was your last. Work your program. The way you live your life will carry the message to others. We are all God’s agents and each day we are both teachers and pupils to each other.
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April April 1st is always considered April Fools Day, a time to have some fun and pull pranks on people. It’s also a month of showers - that is supposed to bring May flowers! Since it is a month of transition and play, let’s take time to reflect on two very special words in recovery, humility and humor! So many of us are always trying to find answers or looking for what is wrong with us, that we never learn how to live. Let’s not take ourselves too seriously and learn the secrets to life, play and socialization. We have so much to learn from each person we experience. Life is such a great teacher. Each one of us is unique and special. Today I understand that there is no such thing as a bad person. There is bad behavior, but deep down inside we are God’s creation. Our struggles, mistakes and hurts are but teachable moments, if we have the humility to be open to learn and grow. I would like to share with you, two ways to look at life, so that in time we’ll be able to see words such as struggle and growth as the main part of life’s journey. Our higher power is always trying to teach us lessons. The mothers that are reading this can relate to what I have to say. As children getting ready to be born, inside our mother's womb we are comfortable and we just don’t want to leave. We soon get to be too big & it’s time to leave yet we don’t want to leave. As we then continue through life, we will experience many struggles that hopefully will become our strength. If we take the time to share our stories with each other, we will realize how much we can learn from each other. Spiritually we go from a cocoon to a new birth on many occasions. Our recovery program teaches that in giving we will always receive. Let’s try to work through our fears so we can receive the powerful gift of love that we all have within. It is the power that will allow us to heal and grow. Let’s stay humble and open to life’s lessons. We must also, in order to get through life, have a sense of humor. If you can’t laugh at life, you’ll lose it. We are all children inside. Try some things that will help you loosen up. Get a friend and go to a playground, play on swings, sliding boards, seesaws, or just lie down in the park and watch the clouds go by. Let’s learn just to be, pull a prank on someone in fun, blow bubbles and especially when you wake up in the morning, try not to take yourself too seriously. If you don’t laugh, something's wrong! One day as we loosen up we will be able to laugh at our experiences even if they were not funny.
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March/April 2013
"What we see depends mainly on what we look for." – John Lubbock, British statesman (1834-1913). When we first come out of treatment for drug and/or alcohol abuse or addiction, we’re not very used to seeing things clearly. That is, we’ve not had a lot of experience being clear headed due to our addictive behavior. This doesn’t mean, however, that we’re incapable of seeing things as they are, instead of as we were used to seeing them – somewhat blurry, maybe even totally twisted. It’s just that we need to train ourselves to look and to see a new version of reality. Granted, this topic isn’t something that’s jumping out and grabbing our attention these days. We do have a lot of other items on our to-do list, things like going to 12-step meetings, taking proper care of our bodies, readying ourselves to either return to work or to look for a job if we lost ours. There are also fences to mend with loved ones and family members, people we’ve hurt because of our actions, insensitive and selfish words and deeds that may have bordered on or were downright cruel. It’s all just too much to take in at first, isn’t it? No wonder we have a hard time seeing or recognizing what it is that we are doing that is right and on track. What do we do when we first get out of bed in the morning? Do we rush to shower, have a quick cup of coffee, put on clothes for the day, and then brush our teeth and head out the door? Do we act in a zombie-like fashion, going through our morning ritual without much thought? Do we even see that person in the mirror staring back at us or are we so immune to that grim visage that we pay scant attention? We may be so busy looking elsewhere that we cannot even detect the first signs of positive change. Maybe we need to take a second look. Maybe it’s time that we confronted this semi-stranger in the mirror and greeted the apparition with a smile. Even that may seem somewhat other-worldly, being as we probably haven’t done a great deal of smiling for some time. But it is a start at being able to see, to beginning to recognize and identify changes – good and bad – and to start making decisions based on what we see, what we want to see, and
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what we’re willing to do to make sure that we accomplish the changes we seek. Change is tough in early recovery. We all experience it differently, so there’s no prescription for how to do it correctly. What works for one may not work for another. But here is something that is common to nearly every individual in recovery. Change does occur. We can welcome it or fight it, do our best to help it along or do our best knee-jerk reaction to keep it at bay, but it will occur anyway. Here’s a tip that may help. Instead of looking for the negative, expecting that we will fail, look for signs that we are adjusting to this new life in sobriety. Look for that feeling of accomplishment when we’re able to successfully overcome cravings and urges that crop up unexpectedly. This is something that almost everyone in recovery experiences at one time or another, and with careful planning – having a plan of action so that we’re not waylaid by the sudden urge – we can get through. It is a sign of positive change, one that we’ve worked hard to master. In short, what we see will depend very much on what we look for. If we look for success, we will likely find ourselves experiencing success as a result of our actions. If we look to learn something from everything we do, whether or not it results in an immediate success, we will find that we have gained valuable knowledge as a result. This makes us stronger, more selfconfident, self-assured and better prepared to take on even tougher challenges that may come our way.
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Gazette’s Humor PaGe
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A Little Bit of This and a Little Bit of That!
The Senility Prayer - God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. ☻ Random observations... I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. – My wild oats have turned into prunes and raisin bran. – I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. – It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. – I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few. – It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't gone anywhere. – The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you owe them money. – If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put then on my knees. – It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere. ☻ Some Short Anecdotes... These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter. – There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. – I met this 12 year old practical joker who goes around school pulling UP guys pants! – I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself into a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. – I tried water polo but my horse drowned. – Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were freezing to death. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. – One time I had dinner with Bobby Fisher and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. – 'A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him ‘Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they’re twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." – Two antennas meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. The ceremony was boring but the reception was great. – I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do a split?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make it Tuesday and Thursday afternoons." – Never argue with a fool, they will lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience. – By the way, worrying DOES work. 90% of the things I worry
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about never happen! – And you KNOW you're getting older when... You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. – You can live without sex but not without glasses. – Your back goes out more than you do. – You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. – Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. – You sing along with the elevator music. – You enjoy hearing about other people's illnesses. – You consider coffee one of the most important things in life. – You make an appointment to see the dentist and actually show up. – You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. – People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?" – You send money to charities. – You will actually wear socks with sandals. – You know what the word "equity" means. – You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television. – Your ears are hairier than your head. – You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn. – Going bowling takes everything out of you. – You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. ☻ And naturally.... The Gazette Classic Corny One Liners!!!! What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun? I just love baskin’ robins. – If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice? – I’ve just torn up a note pad and wrapped it around my stomach; it was a real waist of paper. – If con is the opposite of pro, it must mean Congress is the opposite of progress? – Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. – I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me. – What happens when you get scared half to death twice? – I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. – I just figured out why we always find things in the last place we look. Because once you’ve found it, you aren’t going to keep on looking! – What do you call an Irishman who sits outside all night? Paddy O' Furniture – A magician was driving down the road -then he turned into a drive way. – Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. – Nostalgia ain't what it used to be. – I’ve been trying to push the envelope at work, but it’s still stationery. – A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
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MMeditation editation exercises You can do todaY! or Conscious Relaxation exercises are excellent for reducing stress and building self-confidence and self-esteem, and maintaining good health. The Walking Meditation. Monks in monasteries used to do this, and still do-walk the quadrangle. You can do it too. Find yourself a set path, a circular track or a square, perhaps on a sports field, or in a large garden. Walk the path to get to know the route. Then, when you are ready, take in a slow deep breath, then let it out slowly. Be conscious of your body. Feel or sense your entire body. Then start walking slowly. While you walk mentally notice how your body is functioning. Do not judge or criticize it, just be aware of your body. Do not rush this or any other meditation. If a thought comes into your head which says: “This is silly,” or “I have to get the dog to the vet,” push them gently away, and resume your walking. After 10 or 15 minutes, stop, and get on with your life. The Eating Meditation. This is good for losing weight, and other things. It’s also best to do it alone, for obvious reasons. When you are ready to eat your meal, sit at the table. Take a slow deep breath and then let it out slowly. Then start eating your meal. As you take a mouthful, be conscious of the way you are chewing your food. Be conscious of how the food tastes. As you eat, allow your mind to explore the origin of your food. Do not rush this or any other meditation. As you eat and conduct this meditation, you will find your eating process slowing down, and you may feel full before the end of your meal. Know that it is all right to leave food on your plate. Do this meditation once a day, and after 14 days, you will find yourself adopting a different approach to eating and relaxing. Meditation on the Origin of Things. Everything was created. Think about that. Sit in a place where you will not be disturbed. Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing. Mentally watch your body breathing in and breathing out. Don’t try to change anything. After a minute or so, you’ll notice that your body will start to slow down. It is relaxing. Now, focus on a particular object in the room. It may be a china cup, a table cloth, an ornament, a picture, a piece of furniture. As you regard the object, allow your mind to wander back to the origin of the object and wander slowly back. Take a china cup, for example. Think of the time it was clay in the ground. Who were the people who dug the clay? Where and how was it processed ? Who designed the cup? One person or a team. Was the cup made in a factory? Who worked on it? Allow these thoughts to flow. You do not have to be accurate in your answers. Simply allow the thoughts to flow. If you find yourself getting off track, bring your attention back again. If you wish to close your eyes at any time, do so. When you are finished, take in a slow deep breath, and as you breathe out tell yourself: “Wide awake.” And be wide awake.
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“Rhyme & Reason” By Brooke Feldman
Once we ignite the bright light of our own insight there is no turning away from the blaze of amazingly being able to gaze at exactly what's right. Most of us have heard the saying "ignorance is bliss", and many of us lived a state of existence in which we discovered that the consumption of various substances was actually quite helpful in our quest to remain blissfully ignorant. While our own personal motivations and incentives for remaining blissfully ignorant certainly differed from one person to the next, we ultimately all sought to escape our internal and external conditions through the use of drugs. When the consequences of our drug use became too much to bear, those of us who are now abstinent made the decision to put the drugs down. What we then found however was that the bright light of awareness began to fill the dark areas of blissful ignorance - and we often wanted to run back into the dark and hide. See, there is this one part of the recovery process that we either aren't often told about or just aren't ready to hear in the beginning, and that is: Not only will we never again be successful in using drugs to escape our internal and external conditions but we will also never again be successful at finding that blissful ignorant state and hiding from the bright light of awareness. Well, at least not for long that is. For people who quite literally made a living out of basking in the dark shade of blissful ignorance, this can be the rudest of awakenings indeed! So how does this fall from blissful ignorance often manifest itself? Well, one way it often shows up is in the realization that we do in fact know 'right' from 'wrong'. And while we certainly have the freedom of choice at all times, we learn that when we choose what is 'wrong' for us, we will absolutely end up finding ourselves cowered in the bright spotlight cast by the light of awareness. We will find ourselves there with nowhere to run and hide, no dark corner of blissful ignorance in which to shield ourselves. We will find ourselves there naked and ashamed, for we knew better - we no longer were or are capable of that so called blissful ignorance.The good news in all of this is that as we grow in our recovery, we begin to discover and re-define that which we consider blissful. We go on to aspire to do the right thing rather than wish for the ability to unknowingly do the wrong thing. We go on to ask for the blindness of ignorance to be lifted rather than frivolously seek to be covered by and hidden in it. We begin to experience doing the 'right' thing because we truly desire to do so rather than because we know that we have to. Lastly, we ultimately find that this bright light of awareness is truly a gift rather than a curse, and many of us go on to use and spread this light of awareness to others in our families, our workplaces, our communities and the world. And this, we discover, is the truest form of bliss.
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SometimeS You JuSt Need to Keep oN FightiNg "What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight – it’s the size of the fight in the dog." – Dwight D. Eisenhower, 34th President of the United States. Sometimes size matters and sometimes it doesn’t. When we’re discussing recovery, there are several interesting aspects about size to consider. First, it doesn’t matter a bit how big we are, except how big in spirit we are. Our physical dimensions are really irrelevant to the subject of recovery. Whether we are a strapping six-foot four-inch man or a diminutive fourfoot one-inch woman, or tall and large, tall or large, short and small, or short and large, our recovery prospects have nothing to do with our size. They also have nothing to do with our shape, but that’s still more or less part of the size dimension. Our spirit, however, is a different story. When we are small in spirit, we’re likely picky and petty, prone to making quick decisions and of harboring a grudge. Granted, not everyone will have these characteristics, but being small in spirit is a rather limiting factor with respect to our recovery. Why? When we think small, that is, we don’t give others the benefit of the doubt. When we’re envious and lash out with a critical or biting remark, or when we simply refuse to recognize what others have to say because we believe that what they have to offer is meaningless to us, or we simply don’t want to hear anything that contradicts our world-view, we’re putting ourselves in a narrow and somewhat restricted space that doesn’t allow for much growth in recovery. On the other hand, where size does matter, and matters a lot, is how much fight we have in us. This doesn’t refer to fighting in the sense of initiating or participating in physical combat with another individual. The fight we’re talking about is our determination and resolve and persistence and dedication to sticking to a task, of not giving up on a challenge and refusing to tuck our tail between our legs and retreat in the face of an obstacle. It is amazing how much fight we actually have, if we gear ourselves toward adopting that mind-set. We can actually train ourselves to continue fighting, even if it is not in our nature to do so. In fact, much of what we likely learned during rehab can be construed as a preparation to learn how to fight. We are all in a fight to maintain our sobriety, to learn new and effective strategies and to identify solutions that will be workable for the problems and issues and challenges we face. Some of the hurdles that we need to overcome are fairly formidable. Some may even seem insurmountable. We may be tempted to give up. That’s the natural inclination. But that’s not
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what gets us through the tough times. Giving up is akin to giving in. It’s relinquishing our power over our actions and copping to the excuse that whatever it was we faced was just too difficult for us. We need to always have the fighting instinct when it comes to our recovery. We simply cannot give up and give in, taking the easy way out. It isn’t someone else’s job to do our work for us. Frankly, they can’t. They’re too busy doing their own recovery work, as they should. No, it’s up to us to tend to our own affairs, to get off the dime and take the required actions to help strengthen our foundation in sobriety. This does not mean, however, that we figure everything out on our own. That would be like the fox let into the henhouse. We’d be all over the place, doing our own thing and casting a wide swath of self-destruction along the way. What we do have to help us is our support network, including our sponsor and fellow group members, our loving family and close friends. While they cannot do our work for us, they can be there to support and encourage us every step of the way, particularly when we encounter formidable obstacles and challenges that could jeopardize our sobriety. How do we ensure that we have sufficient fighting instinct? Can we train ourselves to be ready to stand up for what we believe, to persist in the face of failure or lack of progress, to go back time and time again until we achieve success? The answer is that of course we can. But it isn’t necessarily going to be easy. In fact, developing the will and determination to see difficult tasks through takes time and a great deal of practice. We’re not going to get it right the first time, but hopefully we will learn something that will help us the next time. As with anything else facing us in recovery, the way to succeed is to take action and to keep on working to the best of our ability. If we give it everything we’ve got, we’re already taking the right step. At least we’re headed in the right direction. Recognizing that we have much more to learn will also help temper any minor disappointments or slight setbacks along the way. The thing is that we don’t have a crystal ball. We have absolutely no idea what issues or challenges or obstacles we’ll encounter next week or next month or two to five years from now. But what we can do is work hard on developing our strengths and perfecting our skills, filling out our recovery toolkit with effective and workable strategies and solutions that we can use when we need them. We can be a big dog in the fight, if we choose to be. This means never giving up, never giving in, never saying to ourselves that we don’t have what it takes and can never succeed. We can and we will, as long as we have a lot of fight in us.
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Issue # 40
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NA Events Every Saturday Night @ 9:00PM - Saturday Night Dance at The First Unitarian Church - 21st and Chestnut - $5 Admission - Proceeds from the dance go to support the Greater Philadelphia Regional Convention of Narcotics Anonymous XXVIII March 16 - 12:00 pm – 12:00 am - GPRCNA Speaker Jam & Fundraiser - St. Cyprian Church Cedar Avenue & South 63rd Street Philadelphia,PA 19082 - For more information: Fundraising Chair, Joe A. – 215-783-9144 April 19-21 - NJRCNA XXVIII - Hilton East Brunswock 3 Tower Center Blvd East Brunswick, NJ - For more information visit www.njrcna.com August 29th 2013 - September 1st - World Convention of Narcotics Anonymous 35 - To be held at the Philadelphia Convention Center - They will be celebrating NA's 60th anniversary.
AA Events March 23rd - The PARKSIDE group of A.A. celebrates their 62nd anniversary at the Calvary United Methodist Church, 815 S. 48th Street (19143). Food 3 pm; Meeting 4 pm. Food donations gratefully accepted. April 12, 13, 14 - Come join us at SEPIA's ANNUAL ROUND UP in Cape May, NJ at the Grand Hotel of Cape May, 1045 Beach Avenue. See registration form on www.SEPENNAA.org. Register by mail by downloading registration form and sending in your check; or register online by using your credit card. May 18th - 19th - The CIRCLE OF HOPE ROUND UP (sponsored by Reading/Berks Intergroup) will be held at Rodeway Inn, 2545 N. 5th Street, Reading, PA 19605. Registrations forms are available at www.circleofhoperoundup.com . June 28, 29, 30 - 2nd Annual Liberty Bell Round Up - Ramada Philadelphia Airport - 76 Industrial Hwy Essington, PA 19029 April 25th - Libertae Annual Fashion Show / Fundraiser - Spring Mill Manor, For more info: Call 215-639-8681 or libertae.org For more information, visit libertybellroundup.com For More AA Listings, SEPENNAA.org Livengrin Alumni Association is now meeting the third Sunday of every month, 6:00PM at the Bensalem Main Campus - For Every Wednesday @ 7:30 PM - Bristol-Bensalem Nar-Anon more information please contact Laura at 215-638-5200 x164 Meeting - St. Thomas Aquinas Church 601 Bristol Pike (Rte Every Saturday @ 6pm - 7pm - Tune to 900 on the AM dial for 13.) Croydon, PA 19021 - Enter meeting from rear of church. Recovery Radio Personality Rick Ford’s show. Every Saturday @ 11AM - GreySheeters Anonymous Meeting Mother Of Prepetual Hope is having prayer meetings Tuesday (To stop overeating compulsively) - Located at Starting Point at 7pm and Sunday at 1:30pm in the upper room. For Info Call Pam @ 856-307-1988 Every 1st & 3rd Thursday of each month – G.R.A.S.P (Grief Recovery After A Substance Passing) Support Group- Held at PRO-ACTs Southern Bucks Recovery Community Center starts at 6:30PM. Contact PRO-ACT 215-788-3738 for info.
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Starting Point, Inc. - 856-854-3155 - Westmont, NJ Free Wednesday Lectures at 5:30 and 7:00PM CO-DEPENDENCY SERIES March 13th: SIX STAGES OF RECOVERY FROM CO-DEPENDENCY March 20th: SELF-PARENTING AND AFFIRMATIONS March 27th: FAMILY OF ORIGIN ISSUES April 3rd: INNER CHILD WORK RECOVERY SERIES April 10th: SHAME AND SHAME REDUCTION April 17th: WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE AND GROW For a full list of free Starting Point meetings visit their website at www.startingpoint.org
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Black SaBBath SoBerS Up For reUnion cD At work on their first album together in 35 years, Ozzy Osbourne and the rest of Black Sabbath are staying clean and sober in the studio for the first time ever. The seminal heavy metal band responsible for anthems like "War Pigs," "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath," and "Paranoid," reunited in 2011, and are working on a new album tentatively called "13." Lead singer Ozzy recently talked about his long struggle with addiction, saying he's clean after bouncing in and out of rehab for years. "I have accepted I have a problem with drugs and alcohol," he said. "That's a big stepping stone, you know. I'm very lucky that I'm still alive and I'm also very lucky I can still put two words together." Bassist Geezer Butler says sobriety in the studio will make their upcoming album the most professional to date. "This is the first time we’ve done an album together sober," he tells Blabbermouth.net. "None of us have been drinking or doing drugs or anything, so it's been more professional in
that way. And we've stuck to a schedule every day. We'd go in at one o'clock and finish at six, just to keep everything fresh." The band is scheduled to begin a world tour in April. - By Ben Feuerherd for www.TheFix.com
Recovery House Listings Pages 25 Thru 29 RECOVERY HOUSES/SOBER LIVING
Locations in Bristol, Croydon, Levittown, Morrisville, Philadelphia, Pottstown
newbeginnings... stepbystep and recoveryatourhouse are dedicated to providing services to males and females during early stages of recovery. We assist residents in their gradual re-entry into the community. stepbystep and recoveryatourhouse residents are treated as individuals. They are shown understanding, given respect and offered encouragement and help as needed.
stepbystep
We believe in creating an environment in which our residents can support each other in their recovery from addiction, retain and strengthen their sobriety, develop clean and sober living skills, and explore personal growth capabilities. With encouragement, guidance and direction, residents are given the opportunity to heal and work to reach their maximum potential and gain self-respect.
incorporated
helping men and women on their road to recovery
For general info, call 1 (855) 589-0770 or email info@stepbystephouses.com
Giving and receiving help are both essential to recovery. If you have a positive attitude about this, we have a place for you.
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A Fond Farewell To Clyde Bertram The words “longevity “ and “addiction” don’t usually fall into the same sentence, or even the same lifetime. Clyde Bertram was someone whose decades of experience qualified him to be colorful, outspoken and most of all, effective. At a breakfast event on April 7, 2013, hundreds of co-workers, friends and alumni of Livengrin Foundation will remember being affected by an extraordinary man. Bertram died in January, in his early ‘90s. With his patience and compassion, Bertram became part of the furniture at Livengrin in 1993, a permanent font of wisdom and plain talk. “Young adults who are 20, 25, came in with their addiction and despair,” says a co-worker, “saw Clyde in the lecture hall, and thought, ‘What can this old dude tell me about anything?’ Two weeks later, he’s the favorite uncle whose good sense and motivating power knows no bounds.” Even after retiring in 2008, at age 88, Bertram came every weekend to Livengrin’s campus in Bensalem, Bucks County, to greet patients and visiting families. His aim was to continue to be a role model for people – no matter their age – by showing them that long-term sobriety is possible. He died with an awe inspiring 66 years sober. Livengrin was the latest stop for the resident of Bristol, Bucks County, in a second career after working in a paper factory for fifteen years. In 1976, during recuperation from the first of his two heart bypasses a decade apart, he received assistance from a Pennsylvania state jobs program to train as an addiction counselor. Bertram recalled, “I had the time.” By 1978, he was working in therapy, management and staff training at
several suburban rehabs and halfway houses, including the Horsham Clinic and Good Friends. In one such halfway house, he lived with the men for three and a half years. Then in 1993, in the midst of other personal challenges, Bertram was offered a part-time job by a clinical manager at Livengrin, who knew him from the recovery community. Since then he put his reassuring arm – literally and figuratively – around hundreds of people with a big problem and barely a glimmer of hope. He self-published a book about his life before and in recovery, under the pen name Freeman Carpenter.
The memorial breakfast, from 10AM – noon, takes place at the Bensalem Country Club, 2000 Brown Avenue, just off Street Road in Lower Bucks County. $10 tickets (all in advance) are available online at: www.livengrin.org. The Livengrin events line is 215-638-5200, ext. 310.
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Writers In Treatment Film Festival Now Accepting Submissions The 5th Annual REEL Recovery Film through the eye of the needle and exemplify the gifts of a valuable and proFestival is a multi-day exhibition event showcasing first-time filmmakers and experienced professionals who make films about addiction, treatment, recovery and sobriety. Our audience is treatment professionals, people in recovery, members of the entertainment industry, media representatives, educated moviegoers, and the general public. Certain television shows have brought individuals’ incomprehensible demoralizing moments (i.e., “bottoms”) to viewers everywhere. We honor the men and women who have passed
ductive sobriety. Review Process: W.I.T. is currently accepting films from January 1 through August 7, 2013. Reviews will be conducted by W.I.T.’s Board of Directors and/or other qualified advisors Format of Submission: 1. Films submitted as DVDs, clearly marked with: title and duration. Include name, address, phone number and e-mail address. 2. We also accept e-submissions via You Send It to info@reelrecoveryfilmfestival.org. 3. Vimeo link or URL. Submission Details: Submit entries via USPS to Writers In Treatment, PO Box 1745, Studio City, CA, 91614. The completed application and your DVD must be mailed together with a $35 submission fee (checks should be made out to Writers In Treatment). If you need additional information, please contact Leonard Buschel at (818) 762-0461 or info@writersintreatment.org.
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Step By Step takeS the Next Step! How many times have we heard the saying that, especially in early recovery, we need to avoid “people, places and things”? This sounds simple, but what if those “people, places and things” are our loved ones, jobs and homes? This can make getting clean and becoming stable in our recovery much harder. While we don’t advocate permanently cutting ties to family, friends and society, sometimes having a safe place to live, away from “the scene of the crime”, while making the transition to a recovery-oriented lifestyle, can make all the difference. For those of us for whom this rings true, a Recovery or Sober-Living House may provide just the support and security we need to build a firm foundation and begin a new way of life without drugs and alcohol. At Step by Step Houses, they provide just such environments. They have multiple Recovery and Sober Living Houses for both, men and women, and are here to help those in need of a safe home in early recovery. They have just taken over full operation of Recovery at Our House Inc.,
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enabling us to provide greater flexibility geographically and to broaden the spectrum of the help they can provide. Recovery at Our House was founded sixteen years ago, with one Recovery House, at a time when there were only two in all of Bucks County, PA. As of the writing of this article, there are over one hundred houses in the county and that number is growing. This raises the question of which house to choose for those in need. At Step by Step, with the inclusion of Recovery at Our House, they provide a large area of coverage and maintain a consistent structure, which gives their residents the strongest possible chance to recover and learn a new way of living. Their staff is comprised almost exclusively of people in recovery with long term abstinence from drugs and alcohol. They feel that this exposure is a great way for addicts and alcoholics who are newly clean to learn, by example, what to do. They have houses for both men and women in Pottstown, Croydon, Bristol, Morrisville, Levittown and their newest house in the Frankford area of Philadelphia. If you, or someone you love, is in need, they’re here to help! For more info see their ad on Page 25.
Recovery House Listings Pages 25 Thru 29
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Advice To Family Members of Addicts/Alcoholics Educate Yourself About Addiction - Look out for organizations such as Al-Anon, Ala teen and Nar-Anon which offer 12 Step programs for the families and friends of alcoholics and addicts. They offer support for dealing with the addict and sharing with people in similar situations to you will quickly help you to understand the realities of addiction and recovery. These programs will also help you to recover from the emotional effects of a relationship with an active addict. Important Steps - 1) Look into local detox clinics and rehabilitation centers. Ask a health professional or search online for local health facilities and inpatient care centers that are able to treat minors or willing addicts. 2) Speak with a professional therapist or counselor. In addition to learning about resources for your addicted loved one, it can be very helpful for you and other family members to speak with a therapist or family counselor. Living with a drug addicted loved one can cause significant stress on other members of the household. Family therapy can be of tremendous help to confused or stressed parents, children, or romantic partners. Many schools have counselors available to help parents deal with drug-addicted children. 3) Encourage your loved one to seek help. Do not ignore the drug use of your loved one. Instead, acknowledge the addiction and the strain it is putting on the family or relationship. Respectfully ask or encourage your loved one to attend a doctor’s visit, therapy session, anonymous support group session, or detoxification clinic. Stage An Intervention - 1) Ask for help from a professional. Interventions should be planned and led by a professional for the best chance of success. A botched intervention risks your loved one becoming even more committed to their addiction. 2) Plan the intervention. Decide who should be in attendance, who will lead the session, how you will involve the addict and what activities you will do during the intervention. 3) Confront your loved one about his or her substance abuse. Some interventions involve a series of personal requests from loved ones to entreat the addict to enter detox therapy and rehabilitation, while others involve reading letters to the addict aloud or sharing personal feelings about the difficulty of seeing a loved one suffer from addiction. Be prepared for what you will do depending on your loved one's response. Persevere but Set Boundaries - 1) Offer your emotional support but do not enable the addiction. Do not give money to your loved one to allow him or her to continue to buy drugs or alcohol, but do remind your loved one that you are ready and willing to help him or her find help. 2) Develop effective communication skills. Many difficult relationships can fall into communication ruts that make it harder for both parties to express themselves effectively. 3) Offer to attend therapy with your addicted loved one. 4) Know your limits and don't accept unacceptable behavior. Be prepared
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to maintain personal safety by cutting ties if the addict's behavior warrants it. If necessary, consider options such as reporting the addict's illegal behavior to civil authorities or demanding that the addict leave the home and not return until sober. PRO-ACT Family Addiction Education Program helps families address drug and alcohol addiction; led by trained volunteers who have been in the same situation, these information and support programs begin the first week of each month and run one evening a week for three consecutive weeks. Each session lasts two hours. Programs are offered at several locations throughout the five-county southeast Pennsylvania region: • Tuesdays—From 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. in Media and Northeast Philadelphia. • Wednesdays—From 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. in Pottstown; from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. in North Philadelphia; and from 7 p.m.to 9 p.m. in West Chester. • Thursdays—From 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. in Northern Liberties; 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. in Bristol and Colmar Sessions are free and confidential—first names only. Pre-registration is required. To register, call 800-221-6333, weekdays 9 a.m. through 5 p.m., or visit www.proact.org and click the Family Addiction Education Program link.
“Katz Kommunicates” A Column By Brad K.
Group Conscience We all know what group conscience is right? Sure we know! When all the homegroup members sit down at a table the 2nd or 3rd week of the month after the regular meeting…Right?! Wrong. Group Conscience is much more than just sitting at a table discussing if rent was paid or what literature is needed for the month. Group Conscience is the means by which we invite a loving God into our decision making process. Similar to the way we pray before we write on step work, group conscience is inviting God into our decision making process when dealing with the group. Reflecting on our inability to manage our own lives in the first step, tradition two reminds us that “we are mismanagers” and that “not one of us is capable of consistently making good decisions.” In our 2nd step we ask a higher power for help because we, of ourselves, cannot recover alone. Since we are bunch of ex-drug addicts thrust together, we, once again, of ourselves cannot carry a meeting or run a group alone. We need a higher power to come into play. The 2nd tradition is very similar to the 2nd step except on a group level. A 2nd tradition in practice is as much of an act of faith as a 2nd step. Conscience means the same thing as awareness. We strive to be conscience (aware) of God’s expression. It Works How and Why reminds us that God’s expression is always there, it’s simply our jobs to set ourselves aside so we can hear it. God can speak through the newest newcomer as much as He can speak through an old timer with years of experience. The principle of anonymity in the 12th tradition directs us to set aside our differences and come together as equals. This includes clean time. When God speaks, it is our job to set our views, judgments and other humanly nonsense aside and listen. The 2nd tradition ensures that egos and opinions don’t run a group into the ground. Building on the unity in the first tradition, by keeping God’s expression at the forefront of our group, we are able to upkeep the primary purpose of our 5th tradition which is to carry the message to the addict who still suffers. The traditions are truly what keep our fellowship alive and free. Sample Prayer... God, we humbly invite you into our Group Conscience that we may truly do your will and not our own. Help us to set ourselves aside so we may hear your expression. Please guide us in fulfilling our primary purpose and carrying the message to the addict who still suffers.
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A Sober Living ALternAtive For Men in recovery openS in trenton, nJ
A new mens' recovery house has just opened up in Trenton and one thing you can be absolutely sure about – it will be in perfect condition. The reason we say that is two out of the three proprietors are brothers in the construction business. You know they must have fixed it up nice. The third person is somebody who has been in the recovery field for years (all 3 have) so it makes for a nice mix.
these new skills, and cultivate the faith, hope, and trust needed to sustain their new found freedom. Temperance Hall (see ad on page 27) does have certain requirements to be admitted; they require a willingness on the part of the guest to commit to an ongoing recovery process. They require the guest to be a minimum of at least 18 years of age and not attending high school. They also require referrals to secure and maintain full time employment during their stay. Therefore, referrals must be ready, willing, and able to work. They also may require a drug test at the pre-admission interview prior to admission.
At the Temperance Hall At Trenton, they help evolve their residents to transitional living programs only after the benefits of long term residential living. Their objective is designed to increase the probability that their guests will continue their long term recovery. To meet this goal, they provide a peer-driven, home-like setting that helps to enhance and sustain the recovery process. This process includes continued counseling, learning of life skills, learning how to assimilate back into society, developing effective relapse prevention strategies, 12 step programming, and engaging in activities not associated with substance abuse. An individual benefiting from these services provided at Temperance Hall through transitional living programs will likely have a greater opportunity to successfully develop and practice
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“Springtime� Word Search Puzzle Answers on Page 36 frisbee adventures beginnings break convertibles fellowship hugging minigolf painting playground shore sports tennis warmth sunshine barbeque birds colors daytrips flowers kissing music picnic sandals shorts spring tshirts weather swimming baseball boardwalk concerts easter happy meetings outside plants shades singing summer vacation whistling
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Gazette Guy’s
“Word Up!”
One of the best parts about being in recovery is getting to talk openly about how crazy are heads are – the way we think and the thoughts that go through our brains. Yes, we need to share second step experiences too. We have to remember that newcomers and old timers alike want to “hear the hope”. That we could and were restored to sanity through the simple suggestions we find in the program. But for the sake of having some fun this issue – I wanted to talk about my trifecta of insane influences; being an addict, being an Aries and having officially diagnosed OCD. The Addict: We all know what this is all about. And if you're an old school AA guy or gal, just remember the “ism” part of being an alcoholic, that was always talked about. You know that when we get our mind on something, forget it. It's like somebody dabbed a thought in Krazy Glue and stuck it in the front of our head! Luckily, we do have have ways (steps) to “unglue “ ourselves, but it ain't easy. It reminds me of that old saying, “How come every time we let go of something there's always claw marks all over it”! LOL So, we know about obsession - and compulsiveness too. We all see that one in our shared difficulty in saving money or overeating. But there's a few other little nasty defects like impatience and intolerance that show up from time to time. All tough shortcomings to manage. Having OCD: I always knew I was an obsessive-compulsive person -
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from my youngest days of trying to arrange my wavy, curly hair to look like a Beatle haircut (thank God Jimi Hendrix and his hair came along 3 years later – that Beatle thing nearly drove me nuts!). It wasn't until a little later in life that I found out about diagnostic tools like “How many times do you check your hair in the mirror?!” Man, you got OCD. Well, years later and transference from hair to eating and music, I still have OCD. Had a bunch of therapy and took some specific medications for it and it's manageable – as long as everybody leaves me alone and let's me finish out my obsessions and missions! In other words, I'm used to it but it's very annoying to people around me. It feels like there's a loud voice in my head screaming, “We have to do this right now AND make sure it's perfect!” Probably sounds familiar, huh. Being an Aries: Those of you who think horoscopes are a bunch of nonsense will probably dismiss this part. Be my guest. I think people do get carried away with it BUT I do know that when there's a full moon, mental institutions and prisons are advised to be on heightened awareness (the effect of the moon IS seen in tides and we're 3/5ths water?). Who knows? I do know that I am a total Aries. Ramming and bamming and slamming everything in my way to get what I want. Those crazy Ram horns are right where they're supposed to be. Impatient, tunnel visioned and relentless...that's me. Whenever I meet somebody who talks a lot, can't shake an obsession or won't give up on something, I say, “You an Aries?” Anyway, back to the reason for writing all this. It's been said, “some are sicker than others”. When it comes to my impatience or interrupting people (and other things), it's been said directly to me. You're crazy! And I am. But it's not my fault. LOL. I'm the victim of a trifecta of bad influences! Now, if only there were 36 steps, there would be some hope for me. :-)
Hilarious podcasts from the world of recovery on the West Coast. Not to be missed!
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Rehab Spotlight: the RetReat
If you're a fan of reality TV, especially shows like Intervention, then you have seen where we hit our bottom and get carted off to a really nice looking rehab. Well, The Retreat in Lancaster County is is that kind of place. It sits on this little mountain and looks like a really cool ski lodge (although, I'm a city dude who doesn't ski, so everything looks like that). The leadership team that met me on arrival were gushing with pride as they guided me through one section after another. Check this out – an indoor basketball court, workout gym, gazebos everywhere (and even a fully functioning Indian teepee). How about a large cafeteria with an amazing view of the valley below (windows everywhere) and wait– they serve Shrimp Scampi and Eggs Benedict! We're not done yet. There's Drum Therapy (love those bongos), yoga, you name it. Here's the good part; they take almost all insurances and will pick you up and take you there. Before this starts to sound like a paid commercial, let me say that all this neat stuff did not really impress me that much (although if I just arrived for detox, rehab or whatever, I would be thinking, “Hmmmm – this isn't going to be too bad a place to get clean and sober, is it?”) However, what did impress me was their excitement and dedication about really wanting to help
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at
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lancaSteR county
people who come there for treatment (for a list of their services, etc., see ad on page 12 or go to their website retreat-lc.com). They knew a lot of the patients by first name and throughout the entire facility there was a feeling of friendship or family. They also made sure to have what seemed like hundreds of little niceties that were added to make everybody feel like they were about to have a really good, positive experience. At the entrance there was this big beautiful “Welcome” sign. When you leave the back of that sign reads, “Go In Peace”. I'm telling you, this is one cool rehab. Everything seems to have had thought behind it – even down to the little bracelets they give you (instead of coins) when you complete treatment. Sometimes, it's the little things that tell a story. This may sound silly but there were water coolers everywhere that actually had cups, the patient rooms were very nice,restrooms everywhere and office doors that were actually open which gave me a feeling of complete accessibility. Also, they're very loose, down to earth people. How about this one...the CEO, Peter Schorr, picks up that I like music so he whips out a guitar and plays “Folsom Prison Blues” {and he only started playing a year ago}. This place and these guys were a real trip...they even have a band called Peter and The Retreaters. Quite a place, this Retreat in Lancaster County.
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March/April 2013
Mark Sigmund’s
Keeping A Balance In Recovery Earlier today, I received an email reminding me that my column for this issue's Gazette was due. "It's getting close!" the editor said, referring to our deadline. I had just gotten to work, and my mind was racing with impending responsibilities. This past week, my 2 year-old son's flu had increased my stress, and decreased my nightly sleep. Bills were due, our yearly inspection at work was on the horizon, and life was stressful. Due to this semi-unmanageability, I would have definitely forgotten to turn this column in, just like I had lost my keys earlier this morning! It occurred to me how easy it is to lose balance in recovery. Along with a full and meaningful life, we also inherit increasing responsibilities. For many of us, balance doesn't exactly come naturally. I've known different recovering friends who've over-worked, over-recovered, over-ate, over-fished, overmeditated, over-spent, and I think you get the picture! Losing balance can be a relapse-trigger. It is an early warning sign that can cause increasing unmanageability. It is important to look for balance in all areas of life.
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For instance, I've worked with numerous recovering addicts who complained about suffering from severe anxiety, and were drinking coffee practically by the keg. They had racing thoughts, nervousness, irritability etc., which was mostly from their caffeine intake. Other people smoked cigarettes by the carton, and wondered why they got chest colds all the time! I've known people who worked themselves into the ground, and then relapsed. We can be very obsessive and compulsive. Working the steps, taking a daily inventory of our behaviors, and working closely with our sponsor can help us maintain our balance. This will lead to increasing serenity, and a better recovery. Mark Sigmund CADC, CCDP is a counselor at Rehab After Work.
A New Local Recovery Social Network Recovery Social Network is a social network for the recovery community and their families/supporters. Members can create their own profile, add pictures, use graphic templates to personalize their page and even start their own blog. This is a place where people can connect and chat with others who do not judge because they have been through the same situations. If you are not a member of RSN yet, then go set up a profile. It only takes a few minutes to do. Also, don't forget to like them on Facebook for updates on the website, inspirational pictures and status updates. www.facebook.com/recoverysn Here's the link to the website: www.recoverysocialnet.com
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Goombah Logic by John P. “Some Sympathy For Our Families� Being involved in this 12 step process for over 30 yrs now, I've witnessed many miracles and life changing events. I’ve seen evil become spiritual, I've seen dead become alive and broken become healed. So I know this process works for the addict/alcoholic/gambler etc. but what about the families, those special loving people in our lives who walked and lived our addiction with us who stood by our side. Ignoring all kinds of advice from friends, family and professionals to let us go; those who loved us conditioPuzzle Answers From Page 32
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nally. I would even say "if a stranger did or spoke to my wife, girlfriend, parents etc., the way I did - I would kill them" so why was it OK for me to do that? For starters, we need to say "can you forgive me". It makes me so angry when I hear people say "well I said I was sorry, what else do you want". Our family members are the true victims of our disease and when we get clean we need to remember how they suffered. A typical recovery process (not all) is a 28 day stay in rehab where you get medical and psychological help - you gain some insight into your disease and the knowledge of the recovery process and some of us go into outpatient where we continue to deal with all those issues that fed into our addiction. Then we go to meetings (90/90 hopefully) where everyone and anyone will listen to all our troubles and joys and pains. So we get well physically, then mentally we start getting a little better, making healthy decisions - then we're processing and dealing with our emotions and then we wake up this spirit inside us and we feel alive. So physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually we begin to get better. Now step back and think for a second; what do our families do to heal? There are many, many resources out there for families to get involved with; Alanon, Naranon, CoDependency Anonymous and many more. Let's encourage and support and love them into their recovery cause they loved us into ours.
Puzzle Answers From Page 32
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Horoscopes For Mar. & Apr. 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19) - MAR - A co-worker tries to help you with a problem, but creates confusion instead. Don’t get frustrated; it won’t help. Just work together to resolve the problem. Love is in the air at the end of the month. A friend of a friend reveals his or her true feelings for you. Scorpio plays an important role. APR - Your ability to get straight to the point will serve you well at work this month. Your supervisors want to solve a problem, not beat around the bush. You’ll be in control when it comes to romance. Express your true feelings for a close friend and he or she will reciprocate. Leo is involved. Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - MAR - Your tendency to keep quiet pays off in the beginning of the month. A close friend needs to talk and reveals personal information. Your confidence will be appreciated. When it comes to romance, you’ll have to make a decision. Think about where you stand in that special relationship. APR - Your stubborn nature will work to your advantage at work in the middle of the month. While others look for a quick fix, you’ll hold out until a long-term solution is found, getting you recognized by the higher-ups. A close friend will need your help this month. Be supportive and help out. Gemini (May 21 - June 20) - MAR - Be patient at work this month. While your boss may seem too conservative for you, he or she really has your best interests at heart. You need to look out for yourself when it comes to your personal life. It will feel like everyone is against you. Be cautious when making decisions. APR - Friends will look to you to lead the way this month. They’ll ask you to plan an outing for the whole group. While you’re not used to the role of leader, take this opportunity to break the monotony. Work will seem boring early in the month. Enjoy it while it lasts. It will be crazy by month’s end. Cancer (June 21 - July 22) - MAR - Don’t be the first to volunteer for a new project at work. Wait to see everything that’s involved, because it may be more than you’ve bargained for. However, you should take a chance when it comes to romance. Don’t wait for that intriguing person to ask you out. Make the first move. APR - You certainly will earn the title of “The Crab” this month. Everything will seem to get on your nerves. Try to remain calm and don’t take out your frustrations on co-workers. Go out to lunch, instead of eating in the office. Meeting some friends after work will help ease your tension. Leo (July 23 - August 22) - MAR - Your sympathetic side will be called on early in the month. A loved one needs you to listen and give moral support. Be honest, but caring. Give in to your desires and shower yourself in luxury this month. It’s going to be a hectic one at work, so you deserve to pamper yourself. APR - Get to the heart of family matters this month. Talk to loved ones and find out what’s wrong. Don’t let your pride get in the way of getting to the bottom of things. However, you shouldn’t let family affairs affect you at work. Superiors will be considering you for a promotion. Virgo (August 23 - September 22) - MAR - While you usually like to be alone, working as a team at work this month will make things so much easier. You’ll share a lot of good ideas and actually make some close friends. Loved ones will rely on you to take care of a family matter. Aquarius is involved. APR - Be wary when a co-worker asks to borrow money from you, because you’ll need to make a large purchase before the end of the month. Is he or she reliable? A close friend will be there for you. Don’t be afraid to confide in him or her. He or she has your best interest at heart.
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Libra (September 23 - October 22) - MAR - Seek harmony in the workplace this month. Don’t become involved in an office disagreement. Family matters become hectic this month. Loved ones will look to you for advice and support. Take a deep breath. You’ll be able to help everyone out and still have time for yourself. APR - Work will go by quickly this month, because you’ll be busy working on a new and interesting project. Enjoy it, but don’t forget to take some time for yourself. Let your enthusiasm for your job flow over into your personal life. Share your excitement with friends and loved ones. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) - MAR - Follow your instincts in the business world this month. It’s your nature to tell the truth, so stick to it. Don’t be tempted to embellish; it will backfire. Love takes center stage as the month draws to a close. An old friend will resurface and want to begin a relationship. Follow your heart. APR - Love plays an important role in your life this month. You meet someone whom you can’t get off of your mind. Instead of daydreaming about him or her, make a move. Ask him or her out and you’ll find that you won’t be disappointed. Aquarius and Capricorn are involved. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) - MAR - Be frank when a close friend asks for your opinion. While the truth may not be what he or she wants to hear, it’s what he or she needs to hear. Your romantic life slows down this month, but don’t get discouraged. This break will give you time to relax and focus on yourself. APR - Be brave at work in the middle of the month. You’ll think that there’s a conspiracy against you, because everything will go wrong. Don’t get discouraged. You’re just going through a bad time. Your family life will make up for it. You’ll have a great time with loved ones this month. Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) - MAR - Now’s your chance to shine at work. You’ll be given the opportunity to lead a new project; your intelligence and efficiency will shine through. Don’t be shy when it comes to meeting new people this month. Your sweet, sensitive side will endear you to someone with a lot of connections. APR - A close friend will be the bright spot in your life this month. You’ll be happier than you have been in a long time and everything will seem to go right. It even will make work easier. You won’t get frustrated by workplace politics and the month will fly by. Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) - MAR - Let your practical side lead you in your decision making as the month begins. It may seem like a good idea to make an impulsive purchase, but don’t do it. Finances will be tight. A relationship moves into high gear when you realize how much you have in common with that special someone. APR - You’ll have your freedom at work this month. Your superiors will give you free reign over an important project and it’s your time to shine. Take every opportunity! Your analytical mind will help you make the best decisions. Pisces is involved. Pisces (February 19 - March 20) - MAR -Slow down this month, because it will feel as if your entire world is closing in on you. A few days off of work will help you relax and time with loved ones will show you that you’re still in control of your life. Virgo and Sagittarius play important roles. APR - Your compassion will be called on by loved ones this month. Help them calm down and try to boost their spirits. They’ve always been there for you. A close friend will bring you good news at the end of the month. It will give you an optimistic outlook on life.
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