May june 2013 12 step gazette email

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Issue # 41

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Do You Have a RecoveRY Toolbox?

This disease we have is powerful, cunning and tricky. Just like a soldier wouldn't go into a battle unarmed, so we should not be caught empty handed going up against the demonic nature of addiction. What we like to think of as our “sidearm” - our portable artillery that we can keep with us to fight off enemies – has been referred to as our recovery toolbox. Many of us have not heard the metaphor of carrying our “toolbox” with us at all times – but it makes perfect sense to think of it like that. Except rather than trying to fix something, we're going to try and keep ourselves from getting killed! We're in a fight for our lives.

The analogy of remembering to carry our toolbox seems to work really well. For example, not only does a handyman have to make sure he has a variety of tools with him at all times, he must be practiced in using them.

Also, he needs to know which tool might be the best one for a particular “task”. So what are these tools, these weapons we can use and pull out at a moment's notice to help us cope with any obstacle, danger or challenge that comes our way? The most important thing in our toolbox should be a large banner that we can hang up on top of any situation that arises; the sign should say, “Don't Do It! Don't even think of picking up a drink or a drug – no matter what!” We know why that's so important...we pick up and none of the other tools will matter. This “banner” should be very easy to 'hang up' – also, it should be the first thing we see as we open our box.

We must constantly work on this banner; repaint it from time to time, put velcro on the back so it's easy to display and remember it is the first thing to reach for in any challenge! Just like workmen put their little signs and fences around work areas, we need to drape this banner over and around every situation. Without it, we're dead.

Let's say we're kind of new to the program and that's the only tool we do have (knowing not to pick up no matter what). Well, it's about time to start building some defenses – to start adding more tools and arming ourselves against life's challenges and this cunning disease we live with. Next up?

Phone numbers. At least the number of your sponsor. If you don't have a sponsor yet, or haven't started to call him or her yet, you are crazy! What if somebody said you have to box Bernard Hopkins (local Philly favorite)

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but you can have two other pros in the ring with you, here's their phone numbers - they're waiting for you to call. You wouldn't pick up the phone?

We need to have help. We need new coping skills. We need new ways to face problems. Getting help from our support group in general (and our sponsor in particular), is one of those new ways. Our sponsor is that person who can figuratively go in the ring with us. Or, at least train us so when the battle shows up we're ready to face it.

How about carrying a meeting list with us at all times? A great idea.

We never know where and when we will get thrown a tricky curve ball or get blindsided by some really bad news. Especially if we're new and we don't know for sure where and when meetings are at all times of the day, this one tool we need to have. How about saying the serenity prayer? Or any prayer? A lot of the time stuff happens that is totally out of our control...there's nothing we can do. The serenity prayer is very comforting at times like that. Or if you do have a connection to a higher power, go directly to that power. Ask for help.

Then there's the meat and potatoes of all the fellowships – The 12 Steps.

This is why we need to get a sponsor who can then start to help us to not only understand and work these steps but to learn how to apply them in our daily lives. Most people will say that the steps are the ultimate weapon!

The solution to almost any problem that arises. We can't just read these steps and put them in our toolbox. They are principles that require that somebody show us how we can incorporate them into our lives...yes, that person would be a sponsor. How about some more classic tools for that life saving toolbox? Slogans! They may not seem like a lethal weapon against an attack by our disease, but think about it. How many of us have found ourselves in a really bad way – a bad day at work or at home or wherever. If we would have thought of it, a slogan like, “This Too Shall Pass” could come in very handy. Sometimes all we need is the comfort of a wise, life teaching cliché to calm us down a little.

So, if you haven't already done so, get busy. We can't afford to not have a “first aid kit” with us at all times. There might be a storm heading our way right now! Let’s not be caught defenseless.

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A Movie You Can’t Help But Love If you have been around the rooms of AA (or NA, CA, OA - any “A”), you probably have seen pictures of Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob – the founding fathers of Alcoholics Anonymous.

There have been a few pretty good movies made about the struggles and formation of AA and the trials and tribulations that the founding members went through. You may have seen the great job actor James Woods did portraying Bill W. as well as the equally good performance by James Garner as Dr. Bob. Bill's wife, Lois also had a little biopic about her struggles played by Wynona Ryder called “When Love Is Not Enough”.

All these were enjoyable and enlightening to watch, but they don't compare to seeing a whole bunch of actual footage of the real Bill, Bob and Lois. Basically, that's what makes this movie the most exciting movie I've watched in years. It's them! Up on the screen! Home movies of early conventions with Bill walking around as a recording of his voice giving his message there plays in the background. It's Bill W. doing this! It's Bill W. doing that! Whoa, is that Bill W.'s not so secret girlfriend? Whoa, is this really true about Bill W.'s LSD experiences? Yes and yes. Call me silly but watching footage of a guy whose vision, struggles and dedication changed my life and millions of others lives, was like watching home movies of a sort of God. That sounds crazy to some people, I'm sure, but that was how it felt. To “keep it simple”, if you have anything to do with any 12 step program, you have got to see this movie...ASAP! About the making of this movie; This insightful look at a man TIME Magazine recognized as one of the 100 Heroes and Icons of the 20th Century was

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made by two first-time filmmakers, Dan Carracino and Kevin Hanlon—neither of whom are members of Alcoholics Anonymous. How did a West Coast former computer chip distributor and an East Coast businessman become documentary film producers? “I had wanted to make a documentary film for a long time,” producer Dan Carracino recalled. “Kevin happened to be reading a book about the history of Alcoholics Anonymous. Both of us had witnessed first-hand the impact of alcoholism on family members and friends.” Kevin Hanlon agrees. “The whole history of A.A. is fascinating, but what really jumped out at us was Bill Wilson’s personal story. Here’s someone who almost died of his own addiction, found sobriety, and then dedicated the rest of his life trying to help others not die from the same thing. And he’s a great example of someone who worked in relative obscurity most of his life but who has had an enormous impact on the lives of millions of other people.” Bill W. portrays both the timeless story of one person facing overwhelming odds for his own survival and, at the same time, a life that has particular relevance today.

Production started eight years ago, as Carracino and Hanlon began researching archives across the U.S. to find film footage, photos, and audio recordings of Bill Wilson. The filmmakers also recorded interviews with historians and many A.A. members, some who knew and worked with Wilson.

Their film follows Bill Wilson through his 17 years of devastating alcoholism, the events that led to his own sobriety, and the crucial years of A.A.’s founding and growth. With Bill as its driving force, A.A. grew from a handful of people to more than 2 million men and women worldwide. Millions of people across the globe credit him with saving their lives. Bill W. on DVD is now available for sale at billw.com/store, or online via iTunes, Amazon Video and YouTube Rentals. Also available via cable on-demand: Comcast and Verizon.

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It’s Convention & Round-Up Time

NA World Convention Coming To Philly In September WCNA 35 in Philadelphia - August 29 2013 – September 1 2013 Philadelphia Convention Center - 1101 Arch Street Philadelphia, PA 19107 Email: WCNA@conferencedirect.com or events@na.org or call 818-7739999 x 771 WCNA has reserved rooms at discounted group rates for conference attendees at hotels close to the Philadelphia Convention Center. Reservations should be made through their official housing bureau, ConferenceDirect.

TO SUPPORT WCNA - To make WCNA cost effective, they have negotiated special room rates and have committed to a block of rooms at their official hotels. In return, they are providing meeting space and other considerations based on using a specific number of sleeping rooms. They ask you to support WCNA by reserving your sleeping accommodations within the room block. Your support allows them to keep their registration fees reasonable.

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Issue # 41

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Page 9

What Will AA and NA Be Like In The Future?

Every once in a while it's fun to take a look into the future – or at least imagine what things might be like 500 years from now. So, in the spirit of fun (and not to make any suggestions to change anything now), let's take a look into the crystal ball and check out AA and NA in the future.

First of all, I'm pretty sure we will still need to have meetings – that there won't be a totally complete cure for our disease. Much research has gone into the genetic causes of addiction. However, even if they find those nasty little genes, and are able to “alter” them, there are so many psychological, emotional and behavioral elements to addiction that I believe we will always need meetings. I know I will! LOL. The nature of the meeting places is one area will I think the programs will change drastically in 500 years. We're already heading for a world where so many activities can be done from the comfort of home on our computers, that it seems to be a sure thing that online cyber meetings will be prevalent in future recovery. We even have them available today on several websites.

It does make personal anonymity even easier, I guess, because nobody will really be sure who that person is who’s at the other end of the ‘video cam’!

In addition to anonymity, it would make it a lot easier to make a meeting.

You won't need a car, or any transportation, you won't have to care what you look like or how you are dressed, at least not from the neck down [which we shouldn't be that concerned with now, anyway]. Cyber meetings will be great! We will be able to make meetings in our pajamas or even smoke cigarettes if we want (although they'll probably be outlawed by then).

The concept does lend itself to being able to “make a meeting” whenever we want, just by going to our computer.

How about the program itself? Any changes there? One thing I believe will happen is that the processes of becoming and staying sober (AA) and getting and staying clean (NA) and abstaining from gambling (GA), etc.

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will become a much more public thing. In 500 years, I imagine any stigmas about addiction will virtually be gone – that it will just be another disease , the bearers of which will need to go and seek treatment.

How about the programs joining forces and combining into one? Much has been written that addiction is addiction – the fact of whether or not it's alcohol, shopping, sex or overeating being irrelevant.

I don't argue with that but I don't think Bill W's anonymous children (offshoot anonymous groups) will start to merge into one. Alcoholics often don't want to hear about intravenous drug use as well as obsessive gamblers probably not wanting to hear about somebody's obsessive overeating. I think the steps and traditions and the programs themselves won't change all that much...although in 500 years, who knows what will happen. It would, however, be very interesting to see how it all plays out.

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Issue # 41

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Learning A New Way To Cope “All that you ever have to cope with is this moment.” – Eckhart Tolle, Best-selling author and spiritual teacher, best known as the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth (born 1948).

We tend to get so caught up in the unknown, in what may happen tomorrow or next week, next month or next year, don’t we? It’s hard not to become overwhelmed at times by all the things that we have to do. We remember how we used to cope with such things. We reached for the bottle or our drug of choice or binged on food. The trouble was that, that way of coping began to have serious downsides. There was a point at which there was only further deterioration and self-destruction or we needed to get some help to overcome our addiction. Fortunately for those of us now in recovery, we chose the latter course of action. Okay, maybe some of us were more or less forced into getting clean and sober, either by family or employer or by ruling of the court. Regardless of how we came to be here, now it is up to us to move forward with our recovery.

One of our biggest challenges, right off the bat, is learning how to cope with this new reality. What we do know is all the old coping mechanisms don’t work any longer. We can’t just reach for the bottle or shoot up to get rid of the pain. There has to be something else, some better way. We may have learned a little about coping mechanisms during drug and alcohol rehab or our first couple of meetings.

That is to say, we listened, and we tried to practice what we were taught.

It certainly sounded good, although we weren’t all that sure how effective it might be. Here’s something that each of us can benefit from remembering: we only have to cope with this moment, the one we’re in right now. We don’t have to cope with tomorrow today. Tomorrow isn’t here yet.

When it does arrive, it will be this moment. We only live in the present. We don’t live in the future. We also don’t live in the past, even though the past will always seek to reassert itself into our consciousness, to attempt to divert us from our path forward. We can give into that temptation, or give it the boot. It is our choice. It is always our choice.

But isn’t living in the here and now much more preferable to wallowing in the past or being fearful of the future? In fact, our future will arrive and be formed as a result of the actions we take today. We are always able to make something of the moment, even if it is reading recovery literature or

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taking a walk in the park with our children or listening to someone share at meetings. Think of this moment as a precious gift. Who knows? We might not have made it to this day if we hadn’t gone to rehab or hadn't stumbled our way into our first meeting. We might be among those many unfortunate souls who lost their lives to addiction. But getting down to the crux of the matter, even if we accept the premise that we only have to cope in this moment, how do we do that?

Most recovery experts say that cravings and urges, as one of the most common and difficult issues to deal with, are time limited. That is that they only tend to last a short duration of time, about 20 minutes maximum. Likewise, other kinds of scary thoughts or challenges also pass after time. Now, coping with something for a 20-minute period shouldn’t be out of our ability. It may seem like it is, but then we have access to our support network.

We can call someone and they can talk us through the difficult time. However, cravings or general fears may not be the main problems we need to cope with – especially after we've been around for awhile. We will often have to face severe financial issues, relationship problems of all kinds and a host of other tough challenges that life brings to all of us at one time or another.

One thing we can begin to do is to start writing the things down that we notice are working for us. That are helping us cope. Like, for example, what we do when we have bills piling up and no money coming in. There are things that have worked well for us or others in coping with such situations. If we open our minds and ears and listen to what’s being discussed in the rooms of recovery, we’re likely to hear many relevant and worthwhile suggestions as to how we can cope in these circumstances, or ones similar.

Keep a notebook of tips and strategies that we can use, so that we’re never at a loss for something positive and proactive to do. Just pull out the list and take appropriate action. Write down what works best, making notes as to the time and place and any other specifics that may be helpful the next time we need to find a workable coping mechanism. And, in the end, if it is in this moment that we need to cope, that is not too much for us to expect to be able to handle, is it? Moments go by so quickly. Just be sure that we do the best we can with each and every one of them, for they are all golden opportunities.

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Are You About to relApse?

If you’re in recovery and you get that sinking feeling that you’re about ready to relapse, don’t despair. There are some things you can do to help get yourself back on the steady road to improvement that has worked for many others and may very well work for you.

Of course, the first thing you need to do is stop and think about what’s going on in your life that’s causing you to feel like you absolutely have to pick up that drink, do drugs, go out and gamble, or engage in other addictive behavior. There has to be some underlying motivation, a reason that you have begun to feel this way. It isn’t all in your head. If you sit down and analyze what’s been going on in your life recently, you should be able to identify the triggers.

Have you been putting in long hours at work? You may be exhausted, or filled with stress trying to meet deadlines, or trying desperately to make up for lost time. Any of these can be triggers that arrive unannounced and threaten to derail your sobriety.

Make a list of what you come up with. This is important because, as you know, you can’t do anything about a situation until you know what you’re dealing with. Put everything down, even if you think it’s not that important.

In recovery, you can’t take anything for granted. Once you have your list, you can start being proactive about how to handle these stressors and triggers.

Next up is ranking or prioritizing what you’ve put down on your list of triggers and stressors, or situations that have occurred that are making you crazy and fearful that you’re about to relapse. How do you assign them a ranking? What goes in first place as the biggest obstacle or challenge? That’s not too hard to figure out. It’s what you think about all the time or what consumes the greater part of your thoughts on a daily basis.

Maybe you’ve lumped several things together, or find that you’re thinking about more than one at any given time. That’s why it’s important to list things separately, to allow you to differentiate between them. One way to put some distance between them is to think of them as people, places and things (the triggers). Trying to be a little objective about this may be difficult, but if you keep at it you will be able to separate them out.

Obviously, whatever are in the number one to five spots are the most troubling triggers. These are the ones you’ll need to concentrate on and work to overcome.

Don’t feel like you have to figure this out on your own. The reason you have a 12-step sponsor is to help you navigate the tough times in early recovery. That’s what your sponsor has signed on for, to be available to you when you need advice and counsel. Actually, sponsors have been where you are now at one point or other in their own recovery. Who better to listen to what’s troubling you and give you the benefit of their experience? In fact,

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your 12-step sponsor is your lifeline to maintain your sobriety. Sure, he or she can only provide understanding, support, and some recommendations.

It’s up to you to follow through and act to keep your recovery going. But it is a lifesaver to have such an ally always available to you.

What you are doing by seeking the help of your 12-step sponsor and fellow group members is adding to your recovery toolkit. This is essentially an extension of the coping strategies and techniques you first encountered during rehab or things you have heard in meetings.

Bottom line: Whenever you feel like you aren’t going to be able to overcome your desire to drink or do drugs -- you’re ready to slip back into any addictive behavior, reach out and ask for help. It’s the best first thing you can do in your proactive approach to overcoming the slide toward relapse.

Filling your days with increased attendance at 12-step meetings is one way to combat the relapse feeling. Another is to take a few days off, if at all possible, and get away from what’s causing all this stress to begin with. Of course, not everyone has the luxury of doing this, but even if it’s a weekend, it’s important to devote some time to remove yourself from your everyday surroundings that are contributing to your fear of relapse.

Many times what happens is that people in recovery – especially early recovery – lock themselves away and are too much by themselves. All kinds of worrisome thoughts can plague someone who’s by himself all the time.

The very walls seem to start closing in and there’s nothing to stop the incessant thoughts that threaten to drive you to drink – literally.

Well, it doesn’t have to be this way. An effective way to counter this is to get out of the house and do something that’s on your recovery list. Go to a meeting. Get involved helping others in the neighborhood or take up a class to improve your skills and possibly help you obtain a better or different job.

Take up a hobby. Engage in vigorous physical exercise, either at a gym or during recreational activities.

When you occupy yourself with activities that are healthy and that put you in contact with others who have similar interests, as long as there’s no drinking or drug use or other addictive behavior present, you’re helping yourself to strengthen your ability to overcome triggers that may precipitate relapse. We have to remember that when we’re up in our head, we’re in enemy territory. An addict alone is in bad company. By keeping busy, you’re also firming your recovery foundation - you’re helping to build upon a healthier lifestyle that will continue to serve you well as you progress in recovery. In the end, recovery is a process and an ongoing journey. There’s no telling when something or someone from the past will pop up, or you encounter a situation where your thoughts are drawn to using again. Keep your list of triggers handy, along with a written prescription (no pun intended) of techniques and strategies to deal with them.

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It’s all about the people at Malvern Institute It is our goal to ensure you feel welcomed and that you know we are glad you have reached out for help.We will guide you and your family by providing you the utmost excellence in treatment, as you begin the process to lifelong recovery.

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Our Philosophy: Malvern Institute believes in treating the patient as an individual. The key to recovery lies in accepting the nature of the disease. The 12-step approach to recovery is proven, effective, and an invaluable part of our program.

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Those of us who are trying this for the first time will hear all kinds of suggestions – some seem logical and some might seem a little extreme.

Making 90 meetings in 90 days is one of the latter. The newcomer's typical reply will be, “We have to make a meeting every day for the first 3 months?”

First of all, you don't HAVE to do anything. These are suggestions. But if you think about it, most of us drank and/or used drugs every day...some for a lot more than 90 days in a row!

Many of our suggestions are not going to be able to be followed perfectly.

We are not expecting sainthood from each other. What we are doing is laying out the groundwork for a good strong foundation for a newcomer to build on in order to ensure their sobriety and kick start the recovery process.

A meeting every day will do that.

Here are some obvious benefits of making a “90 in 90”; By going to a meeting, we get to spend time with people who understand what it means to be an alcoholic or an addict. We are in a good position to offer each other support and advice. We can learn more about our particular 12 Step program by going to the meetings. We can hear what the steps are all about and choose our sponsor there.

By attending the meetings we get to hear about other people’s experience with drinking and drugging. This is a constant reminder of where we have come from and what we would be going back to if we relapsed. The meetings offer a venue where we can discuss our problems. This ability to vent means that we will be able to deal much better with stress and even learn some tricks of the trade (some tools) on how to cope with life without using a substance.

There are many members of AA and NA who would be considered inspirational characters. Spending time with these individuals can be motivating and give us new role models. The meetings offer us a wonderful opportunity to socialize. They allow us to build up a network of sober friends. Another benefit of these meetings is that they provide members with the opportunity to do some type of service. Helping others is a wonderful way to strengthen sobriety; it often benefits the individual offering the service more than those receiving it. The early weeks of recovery are when we are most likely to relapse. By attending a meeting every day it can help us stay committed

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Page 17

to sobriety. When we give up an addiction we will suddenly have a great deal of time on our hands. Going to a meeting every day will help us fill up that time. 90 meetings in 90 days will also ensure that we have plenty of support during the early days of our recovery. Also, total immersion into AA or NA ensures that the program becomes a priority. Some may call this brainwashing, but after years of abuse, our brain needs a good washing!

Walking away from an addiction usually means leaving behind friends who are still drinking or using drugs. By attending a meeting every day we will be able to build a new support network and hopefully make some new friends.

Socializing can be an important element of regular AA/NA attendance. It is common for people to go for a coffee after the meetings or hear about new places or things to do that don't involve drinking or drugging.

Many newcomers say that they can't make a meeting every day because first of all, they don't have a car. Well this is the perfect way to start to learn how to ask for help. Often experienced members are very willing to take newcomers to meetings. It makes them feel good to do it.

Committing to 90 meetings in 90 days and keeping this commitment can be a good boost for self-esteem. Most addicts do have a long history of broken promises and resolutions so actually keeping to a commitment can be good for confidence. This type of immersion into AA or NA shows us that we are really willing to change our lives. This willingness is the key to success in any recovery program.

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“Rhyme & Reason”

“Katz Kommunicates”

We chase and we chase at a frenzied feverish pace but in the end where is this place that we race to with such a careless haste?

We may have heard the line “our drug use was just the most obvious symptom of our disease” or discovered after a period of extended abstinence that many of our undesirable behaviors still somehow survived despite our steadfast surrender. How is it that we raise the white flag to alcohol or other drugs only to discover that our days of chasing something, anything are not quite over yet by far?

Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and endorphin; that’s how. These four little guys are mind and mood altering chemicals that do not necessarily require a trip ‘down the way’ to go cop or a visit to the pawn shop with your grandma’s flat screen television to go score. However, our chase of these chemicals can certainly leave us panting and out of breath as well as bruised, beaten and broken down from the pursuit none the less. These four chemicals are our brain’s own little “happy pills”, and everybody loves a good ‘feel happy’! The challenge with most of us who’ve made it to reading the 12-Step Gazette however, is that we love feeling happy just a little, tiny bit too much. We love it so much that we always want more and more, and we love it so much that we just can’t ever get enough. Ever. It’s sort of like one stimulated charge of dopamine is too much and a thousand is never enough.

Now, there is some really good news in all of this and I promise that I did not come to steal your happy. We already know all too well some of the unhealthy, happy-seeking behaviors that result from our quest for the above mentioned chemicals (i.e. problem gambling, excessive over-eating, engaging in sex with anything that moves, getting more tattoos and piercings in one week than there are on the entire audience at the MTV Music Awards, shopping so much that you need an extra room for storage in the apartment that finds you 3 months behind on the rent…). While there are certainly many activities that we engage in which will ultimately leave us with that panting from the chase and beaten from the fall feeling, we do learn how to channel our happy-chemical-seeking-selves toward healthier means of scoring a feel good fix.

As we grow in our recovery, we learn that chasing a long-term goal and accomplishing small milestones along the way is a sure bet to an amazing dopamine release. We realize that invigorating endorphin rewards await when we push our bodies to the max through rigorous exercise and staying fit. We go on to experience healthy relationships in recovery containing the sort of trust that releases an ocean of oxytocin (which coincidentally is also the chemical released when we hug one another). We wonderfully come to realize that we score immense amounts of serotonin through being in service to other human beings, helping and supporting others in their own recovery and just doing the right thing. In what may be the most beautiful irony of living with the dis-ease of addiction, we go on to find satisfaction in and happiness from this chemical chase thru behaviors and activities that, in the end, leave the world around us a better place.

JUST DO IT In recovery we are given a lot of “suggestions.” You’ll hear in meetings that a suggestion is nothing but a subtle command. The fact is that the literature says, “If you want what we have to offer and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps.” Another way of putting this is: If you want what we have then do what we do. So what do we have to offer and do you really want it?

What we have to offer is freedom from active addition. The 12 steps ensure us a spiritual awakening and many describe their lives as happy, joyous and free. Many describe their greatest gift of the program as being peace of mind. From our very first meeting, I think many of us saw the peace in the other members; this could be why we kept coming back. Although we don’t come into the fellowship brimming with spiritual principles, practicing Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness is a must. Practicing these principles goes against the grain of our addict nature, but as we know, our old ways got us where it got us; unmanageability, insanity and pain.

Eventually there comes a point, while either brand new or clean for a little while, when the pain gets great enough and we want to change. This is a point of surrender. We surrender by honestly exposing ourselves and subsequently practicing open-mindedness and willingness with the suggestions given to us. Perhaps these are the same suggestions we’ve been hearing for years. When we surrender to the program we can begin to see our lives change. Surrender is a re-occurring theme in recovery and has been said to run through every step. Surrender means we do not have to fight anymore. We can accept that our way is not the right way and go with the process of the program.

So the next time someone gives you a “suggestion,” JUST DO IT! It will probably save you a lot of pain.

By Brooke Feldman

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A Column By Brad K.

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May/June 2013

Goombah Logic

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Mark Sigmund’s

by John P. “The Best Medicine Out There” Day in and day out I see and hear endless ads for every kind of pain & illness. Also, there's the ones with weight loss and get fit machines & devices, along with colds, flu, headaches, sinus, feet, ears, teeth, etc.

But what I am really worried about are the mental health medicine ads.

I cant open up a magazine or surf the net or watch TV without one of them popping up and inviting us to try their brand of anti depressant. And don't even mention the side effect part where they speed up those 90 possible things that can happen to you including death. Hey granted, in the last 25 yrs. the mental health industry has done great work with those who are bipolar or suffer from depression. And I'm not here to knock any of it but the ads should all be toned down or maybe just be seen by the professionals.

It's almost like we are getting into the headache category--look at the choices you have when you go down any CVS aisle. If you count the number of brands to help relieve headaches, is this the mind set they are trying to accomplish with depression meds? Really turning it into medical “practice”- oh that one doesn't work, try and practice on this med - not that one either? OK then, lets practice with this med - on and on. I was taught long ago that we are a pill popping society and when we feel bad to take this pill and it all goes away. And again, I’m not saying it's wrong, it's just their attitude and how easy it is to get caught up in it. I don't want to see the pharmaceutical, mental health industry sucking people in and continually inviting them to try this or that because they feel bad alert!! We all feel bad on any given day or week or month, that's the humanness in us - the ability to feel and process and connect with our spirit and ourselves. OK you feel bad for 3-4 months and can't shake it, then you need to talk to a professional and then let them decide if you need some meds.

I've seen many, I mean many addicts/alcoholics become mental health patients only because they wanted the easier softer way. Again there are many who have benefited but I’ve also seen the flip side. You know what I love about this world, we have many geniuses and think tanks and they accomplish feats beyond our human understanding; they can put a camera on the planet Mars and we can watch it on the Discovery channel at 11pm, but they can't help the addict or alcoholic - that gift wasn’t given to clerics or scientists or professionals. No! It was given to us - this precious gift of knowing how to help a still suffering addict or alcoholic was given to us the recovering addicts and alcoholics. So how do we treat this special gift?

So how do we appreciate and share this special gift? By using the therapeutic value of one addict/alcoholic helping another. That is the strongest medicine in the world for recovering individuals.

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When I was 2 months clean, I met my beagle named Sailor. My life has never been the same. Ever since that June day at the dog shelter, she has loyally stuck by me in my recovery. Recently, she started to struggle with walking, and was having some internal bleeding. I took her to the vet for x-rays. "She has an enlarged liver and spleen," the doctor somberly told me, adding that he needed to do more tests. My heart sunk. I felt deep feelings of sorrow. Sailor had just turned 13. I thought the worst. Over the next few days, I paid more attention to her than ever. I also contemplated about her importance to my recovery. She has been a solid rock, always by my side, and keeping me present. Dogs are the definition of "one day at a time." They never leave the "now", and can help ground us. She has also been my loyal companion, always up for hanging out, and giving me unconditional positive acceptance. "Would have I made it 11+ years without using?" I thought. Maybe not. I have met many people in recovery who have said their pet saved their life. Many of them were suicidal, and didn't want to leave their pet without an owner. Other's have told me that they feel more connected to their pet than fellow humans. They felt meaning in life, and not so lonely because of this connection. Thankfully, sailor is doing a little bit better. They are still doing tests and she is not out of the woods. This has been a lesson though, and has helped me not take her for granted. We travel this difficult recovery journey together with our pets. They are a gift, and a blessing. In terms of my journey with sailor, more will be revealed.

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May/June 2013

Gazette’s Humor PaGe

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Featured Comedian: rodney dangerField

My daughter has no morals. In high school she was voted, “Most Likely To Conceive”. ☻ I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. ☻ I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids stole those expensive wheel covers while the cars were still moving! ☻ I drink too much (and martinis, yet). The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. ☻ I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous… everyone hasn't met me yet. ☻ I've stayed in some cheap hotels...one time they sneaked in while I was out and stole MY towel and shampoo bottle! ☻ I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me. ☻ I never got respect. When I was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled through." ☻ My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. ☻ Why, my wife's cooking is so bad that I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves. ☻ I was so unwanted that my mother had morning sickness.....AFTER I was born...AND, once when I was lost, I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them?" He said, "I don't know kid. There's so many places they could hide." ☻ My wife’s cooking’s so bad, in my house we pray after we eat. ☻ My ancestors were not the highest of class.

I looked up my family tree and found two dogs peeing on it. ☻ My wife's driving! I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck. ☻ Nobody ever seemed to care if I lived or died. One time,

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I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. ☻ My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear. ☻ I once caught my wife cheating and I asked the guy, "Who said you could fool around with my wife?" He said, "Everybody." ☻ With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. ☻ My wife's not too smart. I told her, our kids were spoiled. She said, "All kids smell that way." ☻ My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer. ☻ I couldn't even get accepted by 12 step programs. I joined Gamblers Anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, and they said there was a two drink minimum! ☻ I have no luck with women. A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Sure enough, nobody was home. ☻ Even bartenders don't respect me. The other day I went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife. ☻ I was such an ugly kid… when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. ☻ I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. ☻ I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, "No - one drag is enough." ☻ Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance. ☻ What a childhood I had, why, when I toook my first step, my old man tripped me. ☻

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May/June 2013

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VIncE DIPAsquAlE’s “ThoughTs For JunE”

The month of June teaches us that as seasons change, so do we. Spring becomes summer, school closes, vacation, weddings, just a time for change and growth. Let’s take time during this month to reflect on our personal journey through change and growth. I truly believe that we go through a change and growth stage every ten years of our life. I would like to share a little of my experiences, hopefully you can take the time to reflect on your own journey.

Age Birth-10: for me a time of wonderment, confusion and experiences that would one day teach me some valuable lessons. A time when my birth spot of Camden, NJ was much different than today. A time when fear, guilt, and every thing seemed like it would never change.

Growing up in an Italian community where you stayed with your own.

A church with a God of fear and guilt. Yet to most of us this was normal and that was just life. A time of war, peace, radio and first TV’s. Definitely, a limited world.

Age 11-20: some major changes, left home, entered Seminary at age 14. Sent to Connecticut for school, it was the first time out of my little cocoon. Moved from there to Seminary in Blackwood in my junior year.

Major change and growth. In Blackwood I got involved in stage production and acting. Really starting to come out of my shell. A time to begin to learn talents I didn’t know I had. These new awakenings only happen because I started to become willing to change and learn new ways.

Age 20-30: change again, moved to a new Seminary, Mt. St. Mary’s, Emmitsburg, MD. Graduated college, did my training as a High School teacher, taught High School and went through two summers of coming back to Camden to work in my home parish as a Deacon; helped organize basketball leagues, baseball and put on two play productions with teenagers. Definite time of change and growth. Ordained priest, age 26 and was ready to save the world! Lost my Dad same year, major change in my life. Was introduced to my first 12 step meeting in 1969 (AlAnon). My codependency and control issues were out of control. Really thought I had all the answers, then something happened. God works in mysterious ways. I became 30!

Age 30-40: a time of confusion, craziness and finally I discovered all the questions. It was time for me to leave that safe controlled world and finally go through my adolescence; it was time to become the real

me. To go on a run that would lead me to so much growth. It was time for me to live a life of havoc and craziness. A time when my life would lead me to experience so much that it would take pages to explain. During this time also I began to question everything. In 1977, I started the journey of the work I do today. Yet I had to really beat myself up to in time wake up. My codependency and caretaking took me to some dangerous places. I was questioning who I was and what to do. A time of experiences - for example, working prisons, NAACP and the civil rights movement. A time when my caretaking and workaholism lead me to live a very unhealthy and confused life. Even ran the campaign against gambling in Atlantic City by myself. By the way, I lost. Even to the point of going into heavy debt. I had no idea who I was.

Age 40-50: the most powerful and rewarding years of my life that led to major changes and growth. These are years of my spiritual awakening and growth. Had to face my history, make decisions, and come to my awakening. In 1986, I had to face my eating disorder, do my work, change my life style, leave the priesthood, and return to the world.

In 1988, I married and inherited three beautiful step-daughters. This was truly me growing up and finally taking responsibility. I became an adult finally. The 12 steps of recovery became the foundation of my growth. Truly a time of change.

Age 50-60: a time to begin to experience the promises of recovery.

Not only was I now the husband to a special lady, I was a step Dad to three daughters, and a PaPa to seven grandchildren. God sent these beautiful people into my life to help me finally to learn how to live.

Since I was now more willing and open to new experiences and direction, God sent so many wonderful teachers into my life to show me the miracles of recovery. Every person that I touched really touched me. I have so much gratitude for these years.

Ages 60-70: Today, God has opened up so many new doors in my life, now I truly understand why they call them the “Golden Years”. I also know why seniors have more fun, you learn to appreciate each other and because of our experiences, we have so much to share with others.

A time to do service to others with an attitude of gratitude.

Life’s journey through change and growth is the greatest way to live.

We are a people on the move. Nothing stays the same. Let’s learn to go with the flow. Let’s remember to try and have faith and enjoy the ride.

Inside Each Box There is A Popular Phrase - Answers on Page 36

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TReAsuRe coAsT RecoveRy’s uNique AppRoAch

Treasure Coast believes strongly that your success in treatment often may depend on how you are treated by the program, as well as how the specific therapeutic modalities used by any particular program impact you during your stay. Having lots of experience in the local South Florida treatment community, they feel that Treasure Coast Recovery’s unique approach sets it apart from other treatments. Let’s take a look: Firstly, most South Florida treatments have large numbers of clients in their programs on any given day. Forty, sixty, a hundred, sometimes even higher numbers are being treated on a daily basis at local rehabs.

Treasure Coast Recovery keeps its census deliberately low, often under twenty-five clients, in order to assure that each client receives the maximum amount of attention, both in groups, in individual therapy sessions and while in residence.

Secondly, they feel that their therapeutic approach differs greatly from what is typically found out there in the treatment community. Their therapeutic modality encompasses a rich variety of approaches, including Cognitive Behavioral, Rational Emotive and Motivational therapies, and a strong emphasis on improving communication and life-skills through fostering greater self-awareness and insight. Daily AA meetings and participation in 12-step recovery is also a strong component of treatment here because many of them who have been in the business for a long time are also recovering individuals and they know it does work if you want it to and are willing to do the necessary work. Getting a Sponsor, joining a Home Group and creating a Sober Support System in the local recovery community have proved successful for many of them and they support these undertakings while their clients receive their treatment.

Their staff psychiatrist is an empathic addictionologist whose approach is to use less medication, rather than more, but still accept that psychpharmacology may give a client that extra bit of help that has not been optimally utilized in the past. Their psychiatric evaluation and

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weekly medication management sessions are non-rushed and typically more focused on clients as individuals then one will find elsewhere.

Third, but not last, enjoying your time in treatment, feeling that you got something out of it, memorable experiences, a few laughs, are all regarded by them as important factors that can have a favorable and long-lasting effect on you during and after treatment. So they go to a beautiful local gym at least 4 times each week, they do the weekly ROPES course (Reality-Oriented Personal Experience Services),with a zip line and high and low outside team-building courses, movies, bowling, picnic outings at beautiful local parks and of course the beach, as often as possible, weather-permitting. They have their weekly barbecue, sometimes it is catered and their tranquil waterfront residence provides a peaceful setting that many clients tell them was “what made the difference” in that it was valuable in reducing anxiety and promoting selfintrospection during their brief time with them at Treasure Coast Recovery. This rehab definitely comes highly recommended.

Two NewesT AddiTioNs To RecoveRy Jake “The Snake” Roberts - As of February 22nd 2013, the infamous worldwide wrestling star had 104 days clean & sober. In his own words, “That wanting and craving to drink is gone for me now. I don’t know why it happened this time when I’ve asked for it 10,000 times before, but it feels great. Someone had even opened a bottle of wine at Christmas and I walked by and went, “What is that crap? It smells awful!” I’m also going to AA meetings every day. There was a point where you would have had to drag my ass to them, but it feels good to be there now.

I’m one of them and want to be one of them. I’m finally starting to feel alive.”

George Clinton - Parliment Funkadelic’s front man, with his outlandish hair style and costumes, finally has gotten clean & sober at 72.

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May/June 2013

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A Blooming Season For Livengrin

Spring’s new flowers are cheering everyone up. There are plenty of good things blossoming at Livengrin Foundation: two new locations, a video with the real-life stories of Livengrin’s Ride for Recovery brought 100’s of sober bikers and families together nurses who have at last year’s picnic / Ride For Recovery. overcome addiction, and an annual outdoor fundraiser.

Now in its 47th year, the nonprofit treatment center based in Bensalem, Bucks County, has opened its eighth location in Langhorne, PA, near the Oxford Valley Mall. It’s the new home of the Foundation’s DUI program, a vital resource for local, county and state court systems.

Livengrin DUI runs education classes and counseling services seven days a week. It’s new site is at 195 Bristol-Oxford Valley Road, Langhorne 19047.

Phone: 215-638-5266.

Further widening its scope, Livengrin is about to open a Counseling Center at 1500 Walnut Street, Suite 507, Philadelphia 19102. Prospective urban patients, area hospitals, referring healthcare professionals and many others will benefit from this Center City resource. Phone: 215-546-2626 A new video on Livengrin’s website and YouTube page features Nurses Lifeline. This is one of the few programs in the nation that offers treatment exclusively for nurses. This group is among the most trusted professionals in the country. Yet on the other hand, nurses are only human, subject to the

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vulnerabilities we all share – on top of a stressful, traumatic career. Nurses Lifeline is attracting national attention and the new video presents real nurses with poignant, affirmative stories.

Livengrin’s annual “rite of spring” is on Sunday, June 2 – the Ride for Recovery. This motorcycle run along a covered-bridge route in Bucks County combines with a massive sober family picnic. The Ride Raffle offers $17,000 in prizes, and all proceeds of the Ride go to patient programs and charitable care. Phone: 215-638-5200, X 310. (See ad on Page 10.)

All of Livengrin’s activities, clinical offerings and community support in spring and all year long - can be found at its website: www.livengrin.com

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May/June 2013

Sambora ouSted due to drinking

Richie Sambora didn’t jump — he was pushed, sources say. The hard partying Bon Jovi guitarist left the band over “personal issues,” the group announced on its website last month. He was replaced by Theofilos “Phil X” Xenidis, who also filled in during Sambora’s second stint in rehab in 2011. “Jon [Bon Jovi] is very serious apparently about any drinking or drugging in his band. Sambora had been clean and sober but started drinking again. At the urging of his wife, Dorothea, Bon Jovi wants to keep the tour free of booze and drugs (their daughter, Stephanie, survived an overdose of heroin in November 2012, so it's a sensitive family issue).

“Richie told me that he didn’t believe in rehab,” said a source. “He really is a hard partier, and so are the women he hangs out with.” Sambora might also be depressed over the lackluster sales of his latest solo album, “Aftermath of the Lowdown,” on which he was said to have spent $1 million of his own money. He also lost several million dollars in his failed clothing company, White Trash Beautiful.

Based on an article by McCarton Ackerman, Courtesy of TheFix.com

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What you do today can improve all of your tomorrows

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Very often a change of self is needed more than a change of scene.

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Your attitude not your aptitude will determine your altitude.

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May/June 2013

“Old SchOOl” Rehab catcheS heat

Back in the 1970's, rehabs were a lot different then they are today. First of all, they required a much longer stay; four months to a year was not an uncommon stint back in those days. But the biggest difference was how confrontational they were. Extremely heavy on discipline, I think the theory was that addicts were spoiled, out of control and irresponsible and had to learn some lessons about life. That may or may not have been true to a degree but the methods used were often abusive, degrading and reminiscent of the boot camp scene in Full Metal Jacket.

Well, times have changed and therapy at rehabs is much more a partnering with patients – heavy on education and after care plans. But we came across this article in TheFix.com (just an incredible website for people who are, or need to be, in recovery) – it's about a rehab in Texas named Burning Tree that specializes in dealing with “hard cases” - chronic relapsers. Here is an excerpt from that; “ A complaint was made by a relative of a client that the rehab invades its clients’ privacy by censoring mail and listening in on phone calls, engages in isolation and humiliation, and practices questionable therapies, such as confrontations and unusual “contracts”—a rehab term for an agreement between a client and a counselor for the client to modify his or her behavior in some way. In the view of the complainant, all this—and

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more—amounted to “cult-like activities” at Burning Tree.

Other alumni called Burning Tree “high accountability” and “no-nonsense.” “The treatment and the staff are very tough love,” one ex-client said. “They were strict because I wasn't the best or easiest ‘student,’” another said. “There were a lot of tough-love approaches thrown at me.” But at what point does a confrontational, tough-love approach stray into the territory of psychological cruelty and abuse? Did Burning Tree cross the line in its surveillance of client reading materials and mail and in practices that an addiction-treatment expert called “a form of shaming”? Or are these necessary and effective measures when dealing with a population of, in the words of the rehab’s CEO, “classic manipulators”? These questions go to the heart of addiction treatment, and raise concerns not only about what is helpful but about what is ethical.

As for “questionable therapies”—which the complainant said included making clients wear clothing inside-out, not allowing them to speak for up to a week and making them lie down outside in the dirt—the therapist said she was aware only of the no-speaking contract.

But the most galling thing about Burning Tree, she said, was its leadership’s arrogance: “They are always right, and the client is always just a liar or a shameful person.” For the complete story, go to www.TheFix.com Based On A Story By Hunter R. Slaton for www.TheFix.com

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Meditate to Relieve StReSS If stress has you anxious, tense and worried, consider trying meditation.

Spending even a few minutes in meditation can restore your calm and inner peace. Meditation is an umbrella term for the many ways to a relaxed state of being. There are many types of meditation and relaxation techniques that have meditation components. All share the same goal of achieving inner peace.

Ways to meditate can include: Guided meditation. Sometimes called guided imagery or visualization, with this method of meditation you form mental images of places or situations you find relaxing. You try to use as many senses as possible, such as smells, sights, sounds and textures. You may be led through this process by a guide or teacher.

Mantra meditation. In this type of meditation, you silently repeat a calming word, thought or phrase to prevent distracting thoughts.

Mindfulness meditation. This type of meditation is based on being mindful, or having an increased awareness and acceptance of living in the present moment. You broaden your conscious awareness. You focus on what you experience during meditation, such as the flow of your breath. You can observe your thoughts and emotions but let them pass without judgment.

Qi gong. This practice generally combines meditation, relaxation, physical movement and breathing exercises to restore and maintain balance.

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Qi gong (CHEE-gung) is part of traditional Chinese medicine.

Tai chi. This is a form of gentle Chinese martial arts. In tai chi (TIEchee), you perform a self-paced series of postures or movements in a slow, graceful manner while practicing deep breathing.

Transcendental meditation. You use a mantra, such as a word, sound or phrase repeatedly silently, to narrow your conscious awareness and eliminate all thoughts from your mind. You focus exclusively on your mantra to achieve a state of perfect stillness and consciousness.

Yoga. You perform a series of postures and controlled breathing exercises to promote a more flexible body and a calm mind. As you move through poses that require balance and concentration, you're encouraged to focus less on your busy day and more on the moment.

Breathe deeply. This technique is good for beginners because breathing is a natural function. Focus all attention on your breathing. Concentrate on feeling and listening as you inhale and exhale through your nostrils. Breathe deeply and slowly. When your attention wanders, gently return your focus to your breathing.

Experiment, and you'll likely find out what types of meditation work best for you and what you enjoy doing. Adapt meditation to your needs at the moment. Remember, there's no right way or wrong way to meditate. What matters is that meditation helps you with stress reduction and feeling better overall.

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May/June 2013

Page 33

Vince DiPasquale’s ThoughTs For May

The month of May is so special, a time to spring forward. Nature teaches us so much about life. Winter is a time to hibernate. Spring is a time for change. Our recovery program requires for all of us to experience continuous growth. What I love so much about recovery are the promises that are given us if we can only learn some of the simple principles of life. Let’s examine some of these principles that will allow us to live as people enjoying the journey. Let’s look at these beautiful spiritual principles and slogans.

“One day at a time”, the most basic and simple way to live. We are told to put yesterday to rest, don’t worry about tomorrow, concentrate and enjoy the moments of today. What a simple way to live life. All of us only have this moment of today.

“Easy does it”, life is an ongoing process. Real growth takes place at a slow pace. We all have compulsive natures, but all good things happen a little bit at a time. Patience is the key to personal growth, let’s relax and enjoy the journey. “First things first.” Do one thing at a time. One of our codependency traits is to try to do too much. Let’s learn to take things slowly and to complete one thing at a time. Unfinished business creates stress and anxiety. “But for the grace of God.” These are words

of gratitude and love. Whenever you see someone struggling and hurting, remember to pray for them and be grateful for what we have. This will teach not to judge anyone and to stay away from gossip.

“Take what you can use and leave the rest”. We are all special and unique human beings. We are exactly who we are supposed to be. We have been sent on this earth to discover the gifts that God gave us. We were sent into a world that is at times both dysfunctional and scary. On our journey we are going to experience our human frailty. In order to grow and discover ourselves, we are going to experience many different ways that we should go. The secret to life is to be open to all experiences as teachable moments. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Recovery tells ‘progress not perfection’. Real growth is to be open to what works and to leave the rest.

May is a time to watch the world come alive, trees bud, flowers bloom, and we feel the peacefulness of new spring air. There is so much for us to learn from life, let’s try to be open to the teachers that God sends our way and know that we are not alone. Our Higher Power will always be there, if we only ask for help. Enjoy this special month of new birth.

Recovery House Listings Pages 28 Thru 33

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“Mother’s & Father’s Day” Word Search All Puzzle Answers on Page 36

forgiveness accept cards cousins dinner genes humor learning music pride resemble school sports traits love birth clothes culture family habits inherit money names raise reward selfless support uncles parents birthdays cooking detach flowers holidays laughs movies nurture religion rules shame torture understand

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Smartphones: The 21st Century Narcotic “The best description I have heard for the effect of heroin is that “it feels like love,” and the vibration of a new text can send tingles that actually signify love. As with all drugs, a certain tolerance is achieved after a while, so that more and more texts become necessary to caress those dopamine receptors into a state of bliss.”

Dr. Elizabeth Waterman, a psychologist at the Morningside Recovery Center, a dual diagnosis rehab in California, runs the first—and only— group for those suffering from compulsive behavior around cell phone use.

Dr. Waterman said she first recognized it as a problem when clients began to exhibit erratic behavior after their cell phones were confiscated during the first 10 days of their stay. They invented all sorts of excuses as to why they “had to have” their phones, and after the phones were returned often started showing up late to groups, and becoming non-compliant with rules.

Cell phone use can be considered a problem when it interferes with the quality of daily life, and the ability to make and sustain relationships. “Humans are designed for face-to-face interactions,” Waterman says. New studies are revealing that the reduction in stress that comes from human contact is nullified when texting is the form of communication. The mobile phone is leading to social isolation, disconnectedness and even antisocial behavior.

For over a decade, it has been noted that cell phones have replaced cigarettes as the defining habit of adolescence. They provide a similar occupation for nervous hands, a tool to cover the self-conscious face and a signifier of maturity. Cigarettes provided the patina of independence that have always been the essential components of cool. There are clear parallels, however, between the emergence of the smartphone and that of the cigarette. Both enjoyed a gleeful, carefree heyday in which our new habit was seen as harmless and ubiquitous; next youth are targeted as the most natural and profitable consumer; rumors begin to spread that perhaps our favorite pastime causes cancer; corporations hedge and dissimulate; it all turns out to be too true; and we try desperately to wean ourselves of our deadly dependence, or at least cut down.

An indication of the cell phone’s drug-like qualities is the inability of most people to ignore an incoming text during 12-step meetings. There is new wording in the text of many 12-step meeting introductions, discouraging people from texting, as people forego recovery from one addiction in order to concentrate fully on another.

Tina, a sober drug addict and alcoholic, says that when she started attending AA, fixating on her phone was the only way she could get through

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a whole meeting. “I felt exposed, anxious, I didn’t know anyone. I would reach out to people who weren’t there to complain or to share about the meeting I was in. One time I was playing a game and someone in the row behind me texted me, ‘Stop playing that game.’ I felt super ashamed.” She says she no longer uses her phone during meetings, and when she wants to connect, she raises her hand and addresses the group.

There are the contrarians, neo-Luddites who eschew the smartphone, wandering around with a switched-off flip phone in their pockets. Those who rely only on a land-line are mostly urban legend now. The original Luddites were not actually opposed to new technology, but rather to the dependence created by the new machines and the fear of the impending obsolescence of the human touch. The question of dependence, which prompts these neo-Luddites to ignore your text messages, and makes them immune to advertising, is an intuitive understanding of the similarities between technological advance and addiction. Both encourage and profit from the feelings of reliance and need. Tor, a 25-year-old human rights activist, is one of these technophobes, and a Millennial (person born in the 1980’s or 1990’s) to boot. “I was in Africa when the smartphone hit,” he says. “I missed the explosion, and therefore the social pressure. “A smartphone is okay when you can’t talk but not to replace talk.”

David Velasco, a New York editor and self-professed cell phone addict, says the first thing he does when he enters a room is check all the outlets.

He also carries an extra charger with him at all times. He stashes other chargers everywhere he frequents. He refuses to turn his phone off, ever, including on planes. He panics before entering a subway, preferring to ride those he knows trundle through hot spots, or are close enough to the surface to pick up errant signals. "I do feel trapped without my phone," he said. "But the reason I am so addicted is it provides both connection and a way to disengage.”

Last week The New York Times ran a story on the vagus nerve, which connects the brain to the heart, indicating the capacity for human connection. The health of this nerve can be strengthened by person-to-person contact, and weakened by overuse of a cell phone. This, in turn, contributes to a weakened immune system and other aspects of physical well-being.

Essentially, one’s ability to love is a biological fact, and it can atrophy just as readily as an underused muscle, leading not just to a lonelier, but a shorter, life as many drug addicts of other stripes have proven.

Story Written by Hallie Hart Hodenfield Courtesty of www.TheFix.com

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Puzzle Answers From Page 34

Puzzle Answers From Page 34

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Writers In Treatment Film Festival Still Accepting Submissions The 5th Annual REEL Recovery Film Festival is a multi-day exhibition event showcasing first-time filmmakers and experienced professionals who make films about addiction, treatment, recovery and sobriety.

Our audience is treatment professionals, people in recovery, members of the entertainment industry, media representatives, educated moviegoers, and the general public. Certain television shows have brought individuals’ incomprehensible demoralizing moments (i.e., “bottoms”) to viewers everywhere. We honor the men and women who have passed through the eye of the needle and exemplify the gifts of a valuable and productive sobriety.

Review Process: W.I.T. is currently accepting films from January 1 through August 7, 2013. Reviews will be conducted by W.I.T.’s Board of Directors and/or other qualified advisors Format of Submission: 1. Films submitted as DVDs, clearly marked with: title and duration. Include name, address, phone number and e-mail address. 2. We also accept e-submissions via You Send It to info@reelrecoveryfilmfestival.org. 3. Vimeo link or URL. Submission Details: Submit entries via USPS to Writers In Treatment, PO Box 1745, Studio City, CA, 91614. The completed application and your DVD must be mailed together with a $35 submission fee (checks should be made out to Writers In Treatment).

If you need additional information, please contact Leonard Buschel at (818) 762-0461 or info@writersintreatment.org.

Answers to rebus puzzles from Page 25 - left to right.

1. Scrambled eggs 2. Matinee 3. Big if 4. Look both ways before you cross the street 5. Pretty please 6. Two funny for words 7. Moral support 6. Big brother 9. Three blind mice (No I’s) 10. Shut up and sit down 11. Two left feet 12. Over and over 13. Middle aged 14. Swear black is white 15. Small talk 16. Third world 17. See for yourself 18.

Trip around the world 19. Unfinished symphony 20. Split personality

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May/June 2013

NA Events Every Saturday Night @ 9:00PM - Saturday Night Dance at The First Unitarian Church - 21st and Chestnut - $5 Admission - Proceeds from the dance go to support the Greater Philadelphia Regional Convention of Narcotics Anonymous XXVIII May 26th - South Philly Area Learning Day - 12PM - 6PM Wilson Project Community Center - 2601 Jackson St - Learning Day & Workshop - Discussion on the service structure. - Responsibilities of the GSR.- Responsibilities of Sub-Committee May 27th - Annual Bucks County Memorial Day Picnic Tyler State Park. 11am to 6pm. Food, Fun, Fellowship. 101 Swamp Road Newtown, Pennsylvania 18940, Look for signs August 29th 2013 - September 1st - World Convention of Narcotics Anonymous 35 - To be held at the Philadelphia Convention Center - They will be celebrating NA's 60th anniversary.

Page 37

AA Events May 18th - 19th - The CIRCLE OF HOPE ROUND UP (sponsored by Reading/Berks Intergroup) will be held at Rodeway Inn, 2545 N. 5th Street, Reading, PA 19605. Registrations forms are available at www.circleofhoperoundup.com .

June 7, 8, & 9 - Founders Day 2013! 78th Anniversary of A.A. - Akron, Ohio - Birthplace of AA - See box on Page 7 for info.

June 28, 29, 30 - 2nd Annual Liberty Bell Round Up - Ramada Philadelphia Airport - 76 Industrial Hwy Essington, PA 19029 For more information, visit libertybellroundup.com For Memorial Day Picnics call Intergroup @ 215-923-7900 For some more info on Roundups, see Page 7.

For More AA Listings, SEPENNAA.org Aug 3rd - Folcroft Swim Club - Messengers MC Sink or Swim

Thursdays - 9:30AM to 11AM - Partners of Sex Addicts - Call Memorial Day, July 4th & Labor Day - Sober Camping Trips in PA Campground - Visit www.TheCampingTrip.com for info. 610-844-7180 for more information.

Sexaholics Anonymous Meetings - Visit www.SA.org for info.

Livengrin Alumni Association is now meeting the third Sunday of every month, 6:00PM at the Bensalem Main Campus - For Every Wednesday @ 7:30 PM - Bristol-Bensalem Nar-Anon more information please contact Laura at 215-638-5200 x164 Meeting - St. Thomas Aquinas Church 601 Bristol Pike (Rte Every Saturday @ 6pm - 7pm - Tune to 900 on the AM dial for 13.) Croydon, PA 19021 - Enter meeting from rear of church.

Recovery Radio Personality Rick Ford’s show.

Every Saturday @ 11AM - GreySheeters Anonymous Meeting Mother Of Prepetual Hope is having prayer meetings Tuesday (To stop overeating compulsively) - Located at Starting Point at 7pm and Sunday at 1:30pm in the upper room.

For Info Call Pam @ 856-307-1988 Every 1st & 3rd Thursday of each month – G.R.A.S.P (Grief Recovery After A Substance Passing) Support Group- Held at PRO-ACTs Southern Bucks Recovery Community Center starts at 6:30PM. Contact PRO-ACT 215-788-3738 for info.

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Starting Point, Inc. - 856-854-3155 - Westmont, NJ Free Wednesday Lectures at 5:30 and 7:00PM SPIRITUAL JOURNEY THROUGH THE STEPS May 15th: STEP 1 POWERLESS, SURRENDER ACCEPTANCE May 22nd: STEP 2&3 OUR PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HP May 29th: STEP 4-9 THE WORKING STEPS June 5th: STEPS 10, 11, 12 THE GRATITUDE STEPS THE HIGHER POWER SERIES June 12th: THE 4-H CLUB- HIGHER POWER JOURNEY For a full list of free Starting Point meetings visit their website at www.startingpoint.org

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“Hope never abandons you; you abandon it.” – George Weinberg When we’re in recovery, we’re already in a period where we’ve established some little bit of hope. We may not always believe that we have hope, but consider just how far we’ve already come. From the depths of addiction, sunk so low that we had no inkling we’d ever be able to climb out of it, somehow, with the help of others – including our Higher Power or God as we know Him – we did cast off the chains that kept us captive for so long.

Yet, even then, we didn’t necessarily recognize or admit that we had a smidgeon of hope. But, guess what? We did. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be here today experiencing sobriety and beginning our recovery journey.

Where it all gets complicated and fuzzy is when we bring forward with us all the baggage we had before we got clean and sober. Then we start to realize all the things that “need fixing” and we give up hope all over again.

Maybe we should take a longer look at our accomplishments to-date.

Granted, the list is probably not very long, but it really doesn’t need to be when we consider how invaluable sobriety is. Now, instead of sleepwalking through our days, only coming to some level of action when we need another fix or have to seek out our drug of choice, we have clear eyes and a semblance of normalcy. At least we know that we’re on the right path, the one that keeps us away from toxic substances and selfdestructive behavior that has cost us so dearly thus far. While this should give us some small measure of comfort, for the majority of newcomers to sobriety, it takes a few weeks or months for the reality of our situation to sink in. We’re more likely to find ourselves going through the moti-

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ons in the beginning, attending 12-step meetings as recommended to us during rehab, getting a sponsor, attempting to get a handle on what the whole Twelve Step philosophy is all about, not to mention beginning work on the all-important 12 steps. But even going through the motions is an amazing accomplishment. If we take a look at our last day out there and where we're at today, we'll see that we had every reason then to be hopeful and maybe we have every reason now to be hopeful.

Some of us expect that it should be easier than it is, that recovery shouldn’t be such a difficult process. For some newcomers in the rooms of recovery, all they can do is complain about how rough their life is and how they can’t see it getting any better. For many, it seems to get worse before it gets better. This may cause them to lose hope, to believe that they will never feel at peace being clean and sober, that they’ll never be able to shed the negatives of their past. Here’s the secret. Hope will never throw us out in the cold. Only we do that to ourselves by abandoning it and sinking back into the morass of self-pity, hopelessness and despair. A brief thought of hopelessness isn’t enough to do that, but remaining in a gloomy state for weeks on end is like being on the slippery slope headed right back to the arms of our addiction.

Bottom line: never give in and abandon hope. If we do, what’s the point? As long as we breathe, we have the opportunity to make changes.

Minor and even major setbacks can be overcome. We can prevail, and hope should always be with us. With the help of our support network our sponsor, fellow group members, our loving family members and close friends we can break down whatever obstacles stand in our way.

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May/June 2013

Runner to Clock 7,000 Miles for Recovery

Page 39

Gazette Guy’s

Brad Spicer, 37, went from hitting rock bottom to hitting the pavement; and at two years sober, he's run nearly 10,000 miles, and has turned his newfound exercise habit into a way to give back. The school teacher from New Letting go – lesson of the iPod shuffle Jersey has started Project Run 7,000, I'm a music nut. Have been all my life. I am always picking out what I with the goal of running 7,000 miles want to listen to according to either what mood I'm in or what mood I want in a year to raise money for addiction to put myself in {“a-ha moment” - no wonder I was so hooked on mood alawareness and recovery. “The project tering substances”}. I do that when I listen to the radio, too. Always changgoal is to raise one dollar for every ing stations to look for what I want to hear. When I have my iPod, same mile that I run with all of the money story. Always trying to be my own D.J. going to help individuals and families Last month, I put my iPod on total shuffle. Not just shuffle within an struggling with addiction," he told The album, or within an artist, but the entire library of songs (which was probSouth Jersey Times, "I’m doing it not only to help my recovery and use it ably thousands – 13 gigs). Here's what happened; I started to hear songs as therapy for myself, but to help others. A lot of people are struggling with that not only sounded fantastic but that I didn't even recognize at first. It huge problems. I kind of look at it as every mile I finish, I hope it inspires was so cool. Then I would hear the next song and go, “I forgot how much one person to find the sober life they’ve been seeking.” Spicer's commit- I liked that!” This was one of the best sets of music I had listened to in a ment to helping other addicts has helped motivate him to complete 10 really long time. Well, this random shuffling of my own music by my IPod marathons all over the country, in Baltimore, Atlantic City, Philadelphia, was starting to turn into one of those big recovery lessons. Here it is; that and Washington DC. He's been named Nike's runner of the week and had when I stop trying to control every little thing in my life and just let stuff qualified for the Boston Marathon, which he did run in and was not hurt in happen (third step), it often times works out much better for me. I've the bombing as he finished before the explosions took place. As for his goal learned this lesson before. Whenever I was able to cop whatever drugs I of running 7,000 miles in one year, he's well on pace to hit that mark. wanted or hang out at a bar I liked with a pocket full of money, it never Spicer says he first got started running just over two years ago, shortly turned out that great. I would always wind up sick, dizzy, busted, alone, before getting sober. "It just got to the point where my wife threw me out," remorseful, passed out or just plain disgusted. The phrase we use for all of he tells The Fix. "Everybody was fed up with me. I needed to clear my head this is, “my will never worked”. True in recovery as well as addiction. so I just went for a run." That first jog lasted all of five minutes because he So back to the “Lesson of the iPod Shuffle”. Now that I had this great was so out of shape. With help from detox centers and out patient therapy, epiphany, again, I start to share about it at meetings and call my sponsor Spicer got clean and has remained committed to maintaining his sobriety. and tell him about it. The lesson that life can be much more enjoyable someHe now runs about 20 miles a day; in total, he's clocked just under 9,700 times if we just let things happen – stop trying to engineer and direct everymiles since September 3, 2011. "Running really did make a world of dif- thing. One thing will definitely happen if we let go a little and “go with the ference as far as those natural chemicals your body can produce," Spicer flow” - we'll get pleasantly surprised. The element of surprise is one thing says. "It's something as simple as walking out the door and putting one foot us control addicts seem to forget about. Another benefit of “letting life in front of the other...but running is where I found myself." shuffle and deal the cards to us” is that for those of us who believe that a Story By: Ben Feuerherd - Courtesy of TheFix.com higher power is active in our lives, this is a good method to help God as we understand Him do His thing. Lastly, letting go of all that control is very Small deeds done relaxing. Just sitting back and floating along with the currents – so much are better than easier than acting like Martin Scorcese or Steven Spielberg shouting orders great deeds planned to everybody through a bullhorn!

“Word Up!”

Hilarious podcasts from the world of recovery on the West Coast. Not to be missed!

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Bill Wilson’s Anonymous Children AA has now spawned some 50 other 12-step programs for different substances and behaviors. Would its famous founder embrace this bountiful brood or disown many of them?

The first offshoot of AA was founded by Bill’s wife, Lois Wilson, in 1951. When she realized that she had almost as much trouble dealing with a sober husband as she'd had dealing with a drunken one, she started banding together with other wives of AA members to form Al Anon— with her husband’s emphatic approval. Although Bill’s support of Al Anon may have been based on his understanding that it would help him get along with his long-suffering wife, it opened the door to other programs. Soon enough, Al Anon spawned Alateen, Al A Tot, Adult Children of Alcoholics and a dozen more 12-step programs for non-addicts trying to deal with addicts. Discontented members of Alcoholics Anonymous have also started individual groups.

By the 1960s, drug addiction, gambling addiction and food addiction (which has at least five separate programs) were added to the roster. The 1970s saw the discovery that destructive sexual behavior could be a compulsion or addiction that might be alleviated by the 12 Steps: Sexual Compulsives Anonymous, Sexaholics, Sex Addicts and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous joined the crowd. In the 1980s programs for nicotine and cocaine were added as well as a few niche groups like Recovering Couples Anonymous and Chemically Dependent Anonymous.

Back in 1956, half as a joke, Bill had written a letter to a friend in California predicting that for “screwballs like ourselves� there might be a group called “Neurotics Anonymous� “to extend the moral inventory of AA to a deeper level, making it an inventory of psychic changes.�

Ten years later, Neurotics Anonymous was established—it is now called Emotions Anonymous. (In researching my biography of Bill W., I was unable to find any evidence that he was aware of this ironic

development.)

In fact while writing the Sixth Tradition—one of the 12 by-laws that govern AA—back in the early 1950s, he had written, as an example of unrealistic hopes, “The moment we saw that we had an answer for alcoholism, it was reasonable (or so it seemed at the time) for us to feel that we might have the answer to a lot of other things.� In Tradition Six, dreams of expanding the 12 Steps (as a commercial enterprise) into hospitals, say, and educational institutions crash on the rocks of human nature.

At a popular center for meetings in New York City on most days of the week, an addict can get 12-step help for spending, under-earning, sexual compulsiveness, cocaine, co-dependency, crystal meth addiction, debting, overeating, surviving incest and problems with addicted family members. The miracle of the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is that they often work when nothing else does. Although few of the more than 50 12-step programs for other addictions are as organized or as effective as AA, they seem to have a good effect on the people who attend them.

Yet their proliferation raises a larger question: What is the difference between being an addict and being a human being? Everyone has some kind of problem. Can a 12-step program help every problem? Although addictions vary in intensity—some addicts are more addicted than others—there is a difference between an addict—someone who cannot stop—and someone who is not addicted. It is also true that many addicts can switch substances if they need to. Also, In many AA meetings members talk about drug addiction, eating disorders and struggles to stop smoking. Although all addictions are the same in some ways, it is deeply reassuring and comforting to sit with a group of people who have exactly the same problems as you.

Story By Susan Cheever - Courtesy of www.TheFix.com

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Page 41

CLASSIFIEDS Put your business card in our classifieds. Good for two whole months at a great price. $50 complete.

Email 12stepgazette@comcast.net or call Bruce @ 215-317-8774 for more information.

Wildwood Condo For Rent (Summer’s Almost Here) Special price for recovery people. $1100/week (normally $1600).

3 bedrooms, 2 full bathrooms.

Call Dan Fleming (Life or Death Group) for more info @ 609-980-6275

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Horoscopes For May & June 2013 Aries (March 21 - April 19) - MAY - Managing your hours and days, organizing your interactions, creating supportive assistance allows you time for what's most important now - intelligent acquisition of new knowledge.

This knowledge will become your future tool for success and provide you with the ability to master your goals.

JUNE - The deep information flowing into your mind will impact your home and foundation (where you "dwell") and your sense of creative well being. Therefore, the questions you must ponder are, "Where do I dwell, with whom, and why?" "What are my creative endeavors and how do they influence my security and ability to nurture?"

Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - MAY - You must begin to concentrate on your creative self identity. You also need some celebrations, more social interaction, leisure,entertainment, and a party . The fun in your life hasn't seen the light of day in many years now it's forgotten you exist. JUNE The household and family are all that matter. Or should. A garden would enhance your growth. Dusting and sweeping do, too. On the other hand, you may feel best tending to others, especially the elderly, the housebound, or a young child. While caring for others your personal history comes into focus. Insights fall about like stars from heaven.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20) - MAY - The New Moon provides new thought processes concerning home, dwellings, and what brings nurturance to you. There has been confusion of late about these issues. You seek community yet it is unmanifested. You seek a new state of spiritual cohesion yet the field isn't prepared yet. . JUNE - Something shifts concerning your financial situation. This impacts your group identity and sense of home security. A new structure is needed and will be initiated at the New Moon. Are you thinking of moving or simply shifting your possessions about? Study the Aquarian Laws and Principles for appropriate action.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22) - MAY - You seek news of everything from everywhere. From neighbors, previous classmates, the media-all having to do with community. One short tip. Don't gossip. Just exchange information and retreat from the temptation to speak ill of others. JUNE - A deep state of contemplation will bring about a new state of self identity should you take the time to ponder on how you love, who, and why. This will later influence your presence at work and accelerate service to others.

Your mind is changing in so many ways.

Leo (July 23 - August 22) - MAY - Notice that your personal values are very prominent and are making decisions that will affect your future. It's important to be aware of this. Perhaps you can review what your values are and evaluate if they are concurrent with your needs. Are they well thought out? JUNE - It's possible that a dream state provides a new way of nourishing yourself. It will rise up out of the depths of your needs in mysterious ways. It will allow you to understand who you are at present since you've changed much in the past year.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22) - MAY - Everything becomes new, if you yield to this. From your appearance to intelligence to your role in the world which means your social identity. It is important that our actions reflect who we are internally. If this is not so, then others experience us with cognitive dissonance. See that a union occurs between inner and outer selves for the sake of synthesis. JUNE - Sometimes intimate interactions take the form of chaos and conflict. But if you think of chaos/conflict as creative, as the first steps before harmony, then conflict is easier to understand and work with. Two people create a pair, which means opposition, which creates synthesis. Think on this and draw triangles over and over.

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Libra (September 23 - October 22) - MAY - Your life is rather hidden these day and we continue to search for you but you're nowhere to be found. A deep psychological change has caught you unawares. Important insights occur. Dreams are your guides. Therapy for some is good. JUNE - Great discipline will be needed concerning your work and the light you provide others seeking care and tending. You will need to bring all of your will into alignment with your heart. When this occurs love will make contact with you and everything becomes easier in your life. Prayer helps, too.

Then balance emerges out of chaos.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) - MAY - What groups in the world do you admire? What organizations have the values you hope to have?

What church, team, club, league or fraternity calls to you? What community (town, village, intentional) speaks your language? JUNE - The New Moon offers you new mental realities which, if contemplated, brings forth your next religious encounter influencing a creative endeavor deeper than you've experienced before. Don't worry about finances. They are hidden behind ideals that only you can manifest. If your love for humanity deepens, then your work in the world will also.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) - MAY - Something true to your deepest ambitions may just come calling at your door. Most times only elephants sail into our living rooms and roost there much to our dismay. JUNE - The new identity that has been seeking you as relentlessly as you have been seeking it, is about to explode in full force. Take time to observe this lest it pass you by like a mothership in the night. Long walks in new shoes helps, too. Thinking about a new home again? Think golden.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) - MAY - You distinguish the truth about yourself as separate from other people's truths (about you). This is quite important but know that as others won't recognize this truth you'll have to all by yourself. A regeneration is occurring about who you are, why, how, where, and possibly when. Move that is. Seek assistance from others. Then be on the move. JUNE - There will be a feeling that hindrances have been released from your deepening into yourself and this affects your contacts with the outer world. Careful with all communication.

Though you may understand yourself, others may not. Slow down, observe what others need.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) - MAY - There may be an examination of past and present wounds. They will harbor within till , unable to hold them any longer, you seek others who will listen compassionately. As you feel yourself and realities dissolving, new and better forms of self and resources emerge. Sensitivity is good. It's information. JUNE - You need restful quiet time in order to prepare for things to come. You also need to be out and about in the community and tending to professional, religious, and philosophical affairs. You're quite busy and may need to handle various inner and outer journeys simultaneously.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20) - MAY - Energy for things new, uncluttered, organized, categorized, detailed, and thus in harmony occur to you in leaps and bounds because it's time for expansion on every level of your life. You have a fine eye for inner detail. This leads to artistic endeavors.

Capture them, bring them into form for beauty becomes you. JUNE You are changing. Your home is changing. Your daily work is expanding relative to the love you bring to it. All of this reflects on your service in the world and how you are recognized. If you stumble, pick yourself up and continue on. There is no failure. Set goals. Read "Treatise on White Magic" by the Tibetan.

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May/June 2013

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May/June 2013

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