Introduction We all read reports about women facing challenges progressing in business. There are numerous reasons for this such as childcare, lack of role models or mentors and work-life balance. However, in some cases, our use of language in the workplace could be an issue. The way we speak and interact with colleagues is a key means by which we make a negative or a positive impression in the workplace. This guide takes several real-life scenarios in business meetings and explains how we can use language to create a really positive impact with our colleagues. It is based on research conducted in seven multinational companies in the UK. This chapter offers advice on handling conflict.
Handling Conflict Case Study: Mary and Geoff Mary is sitting in a business progress review meeting chaired by her sales director. All the rest of the colleagues in the meeting are sales managers. Mary is an HR manager for the company. There are roughly equal numbers of men and women in the meeting including colleagues, Sameena and John.
Geoff, one of the sales managers in the meeting clearly disagrees with her about recruitment strategies. He shows this by ignoring her opinions and interrupting her when she tries to contribute. How can Mary use language effectively to handle this situation?
What not to do: 1. Remain silent: Rather than interacting with her colleague, Mary could remain silent. The problem with silence is that in this context, it is an avoidance strategy. Silence can be viewed as ‘passive aggression’ and any body language (e.g. sighing, looking away) will be read negatively. Silence does not deal with the issue. 2. Have an Outburst: Mary could have reacted with an outburst (e.g. ‘Geoff I wish you’d stop being so rude, stop dismissing my viewpoint!’) . The problem with an outburst is that it uses command and negative evaluation of others which may be viewed as confrontational, controlling and emotional.
What did Mary Actually Do?: She used four linguistic strategies: 1. Mirroring Technique She chose to be direct but not confrontational. What she did was to mirror back to Geoff the way he was speaking by using neutral and factual expressions. E.g. ‘Geoff, do you realise you have interrupted me three times now?’ 2. Expressing how you feel directly: She then followed this up with calmly expressing how she felt about this:
intervention. A fear of isolation in a team is why people rarely confront difficult colleagues publicly. Mary encouraged tribal inclusion by aligning her perspective with two of her colleagues: E.g. ‘Geoff, my view is much the same as Sameena and John’s so why do you have difficulty with it?’ This gave Mary a chance to have a brief but frank exchange with Geoff. 4. Acknowledging the Chair or Line Manager:
3. ‘Tribal’ Inclusion:
Mary suspected that she may have disrupted the flow of the meeting so finally she acknowledged this with a simple apology and explanation to the chair:
Mary brought other colleagues on side so that she did not appear isolated by her
E.g ‘Jane, I’m sorry this has taken time, but I felt we needed to clear this up.’
E.g. ‘I am not happy about this.’
Stay Silent
Have an Outburst
Use A Mirroring Technique
Use ‘Tribal Inclusion’
Calmly Express How You Feel
Acknowledge the Chair
Summing up: By using simple, neutral, direct language Mary was able to handle conflict with a male colleague. She stated the nature of the problem, how she felt, and yet retained alliances with other colleagues in the meeting. She did not experience this problem with Geoff again. If you found this short introduction the Handling Conflict useful you may be interested in the other parts of the Using Language Effectively series: Achieving Business Goals and Using Authority, available via the Greater Birmingham Chambers of Commerce website: www.Birmingham-Chamber.com/WiBLanguage
This Using Language Effectively series was created by Professor Judith Baxter, Aston University, in partnership with the Greater Birmingham Chambers of Commerce.
About Judith: Judith Baxter is Professor of Applied Linguistics and Head of English Language in the School of Languages and Social Sciences at Aston University, Birmingham. She is Deputy Director of Aston’s Research Centre for Interdisciplinary research in Language and Diversity (InterLAND), which brings together researchers and practitioners in applied linguistics, social sciences, leadership and business studies (see http://www1.aston.ac.uk/lss/research/ research-centres/interland/). Judith specialises in the relationship between language, gender and leadership in educational, business and professional contexts. She recently worked on an Economic and Social Research Council funded project entitled ‘Leadership Talk and Gender in Senior Management Business Meetings in the UK (http:// leadershiptalk.blogs.aston.ac.uk/), which ran from January 2010 until May 2012. She has published numerous books and articles including Double-Voicing at Work (2014) and The Language of Female Leadership (2010), both with Palgrave Macmillan. Her research has received considerable media attention, including a feature on BBC TV’s Women at the Top, Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour as well as press articles in The Guardian, The Observer, The Mail and The Telegraph.
About Leena: Leena Patel is a research placement assistant for InterLanD, Aston University. She currently works on projects which focus on gender and leadership talk, youth inequality and accents in the West Midlands.
About Henrietta: Henrietta Brealey is the Patron and Policy Advisor at the Greater Birmingham Chambers of Commerce. She is currently leading on the Chambers’ Women in Business work . The Chambers’ are partnering on and delivering a number of Women in Business initiatives and activities. For more information on our Women in Business work please go to www.Birmingham-Chamber.com/ WomenInBusiness or contact Henrietta on H.Brealey@Birmingham-Chamber.com.
About The Chambers: The Greater Birmingham Chambers of Commerce is one of the UK’s oldest and largest Chambers. It has nearly 3,000 member companies that employ over 200,000 plus affiliate organisations representing 15,000 people. It offers extensive services to industry and commerce, having served the interests of business for three centuries, promoting trade locally, nationally and internationally.
Based in central Birmingham and ranked 12th out of 113 UK Universities by the 2010 Complete University Guide, and 19th in the Guardian rankings 2010, Aston is recognised for its world-class research, teaching and strong links to industry, government and commerce. Aston is based on an attractive, green campus in the heart of Birmingham. Over 1200 people work at the university in a wide variety of professional, technical, academic, manual and clerical roles. Aston University is:
Ranked within the top 1% of universities in the world, and consistently in the Top 20 in the UK
In the Top 5 for Graduate Employability in the UK and Top 40 worldwide
Focussed on the needs of business and the professions, with all Aston undergraduate students taking part in integrated work experience
Carrying out world class research that leads to the creation of practical and applicable solutions for the challenges of the future, and contributes to the development of research leaders and entrepreneurs
Putting sustainability at the centre of all we do, ensuring that Aston is one of the greenest and most sustainable of all UK universities, in the Top 5 of the People and Planet League.
Click here: www.aston.ac.uk for our website.
Professor Judith Baxter is Head of Applied Linguistics and English Language at Aston University. She leads a friendly, energetic and expanding department, which is one of the largest subject groups within the School of Languages and Social Sciences. All members of the group teach across Applied Linguistics, and we work closely with groups in the regional community such as business leaders, the police, community leaders and local schools. We are renowned for the high quality of our teaching and in 2014, we were ranked 15 th in the 2013 Guardian League tables, and achieved a 100% satisfaction rate with our undergraduate students. All areas of specialism have recently been successful in securing significant external research funding.
Contact Henrietta Brealey, Policy Advisor Chamber House 75 Harborne Road Birmingham B15 3DH H.Brealey@Birmingham-Chamber.com 0121 607 1786