In the Garden

Think with Your Head, Not Your Heart

EXPLORING THE DANGERS OF ONLINE DATING

By M. René Tarquinio, LBSW Case Manager/SHIIP Coordinator

Online dating and social media can offer connections. Many older people seeking love, companionship, and friendship may try online dating or find new or old friends on Facebook. But not everyone online is who they seem to be. Be careful and be aware of the risks.

This example is a true story, though the names and places have been changed.

A Good Man Goes Down

“Charlie” arrived at the senior center one day, as many do, to enjoy a hot lunch, companionship, and the computer lab. Charlie came into the center daily, but it soon became apparent that all was not well in Charlie’s life. After a few days, he appeared unkempt, dirty, and obviously distressed. On one occasion he was inebriated and on another, he came in with signs of having been in a fight.

The BSRI Case Management team intervened and soon learned that Charlie was homeless. The years of sobriety that he had worked so hard to maintain were gone, and he had nothing left. What could have happened to this 75-year-old man to cause him to fall so far, so fast?

An Affair to Remember

Charlie began to tell his story. He was living in Alabama with his children and grandchildren close by. He was married for many years but was now widowed. He was a recovering alcoholic and was trying

Photo by Caleb Oquendo by Pexels Everyone wants love and companionship. But when you’re online, not everyone is who they seem to be. Be aware of the risks and dangers of online dang. to help others who were struggling with substance abuse.

Life was good, but he was lonely. He decided to explore Facebook. He soon reconnected with a high school sweetheart. He felt young again! He woke every morning with anticipation and could not wait to log on and chat with “Lucille.” Thus began a whirlwind courtship. Before long, he had agreed to give up his life in Alabama, and he relocated to Brunswick County to be with Lucille.

In the space of a month, Charlie found himself homeless, was assaulted by one of Lucille’s family members, and his years of sobriety were gone. Lucille was nothing like she had appeared to be online nor did she have a family that welcomed him with open arms. He had clearly made some serious mistakes all in the hopes of finding love with his childhood sweetheart.

A Helping Hand

Charlie’s story does have a happy ending. He was able to receive assistance to buy a one-way ticket back to Alabama, and he has returned to his previous life. He may not have found the love he was looking for, but he has the love of his family, his sobriety, and a nice, warm home.

It’s a Strange World Online

All too often, people find themselves craving the love, companionship, and friendship that they may have lost. Many turn to