The Bank of Mum and Dad - Is Money Given to a Spouse by

Family a Gift or a Loan?

Samantha Hickman

It is very common for people to receive financial assistance from parents and family members throughout their lives. Upon divorce, this can often lead to the question, will the parties be expected to re-pay this money, or will it be treated as a gift?

Why Is the Distinction Between a Loan and a Gift Important?

In financial remedy proceedings, this question is particularly important because how this money is treated impacts the amount of money in the marital pot.

If this payment is treated as a gift, it can be considered as a contribution given to the parties that does not have to be repaid. This money can instead be included in the matrimonial pot and used to meet the parties’ needs.

If this payment is treated as a loan, it cannot be considered part of the matrimonial pot and instead will be noted as a liability that must be repaid, much like a loan from a bank.

Is It a Loan or a Gift?

In the case of P v Q (Financial Remedies) [2022] EWFC B9, HHJ Hess summarised the factors to be taken into account when determining whether money given to a party by their family prior to or during marriage should be regarded as a gift or a loan.

The key factor is whether it was likely in reality that the obligation would be enforced.

Factors pointing to a hard loan include:

• an obligation to a finance company

• terms with the feel of a normal commercial arrangement

• obligations arising out of a written agreement

• a written demand for payment, a threat of litigation or actual litigation, or intervention in the financial remedies proceedings

• an absence of delay in enforcing the obligation

• where the amount of money was such that it would be less likely for a creditor to waive the obligation, either wholly or partly

Factors pointing to a soft loan (gift) include:

• an obligation to a friend or family member with whom the debtor remained on good terms and who was unlikely to want the debtor to suffer hardship

• an obligation arising informally, with terms that did not have the feel of a normal commercial arrangement

• no written demand for payment despite a due date having passed

• delay in enforcing the obligation

• an amount of money such that it would be more likely for the creditor to waive the obligation, wholly or partly, albeit that the amount involved was not necessarily decisive: there were examples in the authorities of large amounts of money being treated as soft obligations

In this case the court concluded that some factors might fall on one side of the line and others might fall on the other but ultimately it is for the judge to determine the appropriate and fair outcome, looking at all the factors.

What Can We Learn From This?

This case is a reminder that payments given to parties by family members may be considered as a gift if there is not a clear obligation for repayment. If you are receiving or giving money in this context and would like this to be repaid, it is important to ensure that a written agreement is made. However, even then it cannot be guaranteed that this type of payment will be considered a loan rather than a gift and the ultimate discretion is with the court.

For further information, please contact Samantha Hickman in VWV’s Private Client team on 0117 925 2020 or at shickman@vwv.co.uk

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Over the past few months, I’ve written a number of articles in this magazine about what it’s like to go to primary and secondary school today. This has been based on my own teaching experience, the experiences of my children who are currently in primary school and secondary school, and based on the feedback from many school leaders, teachers and specialists in particular fields, such as behaviour and careers.

Over the next few issues, I’ll be sharing the experiences of a range of local folk who went to school – or worked in schools –over many previous decades, comparing such stories to the experiences of pupils today. Please note that any names used have been changed for anonymity.

Whilst researching my articles, many facts that I heard about education in the past shocked me. The fact that there was once a time when there was no national curriculum – I just always, naively, assumed that there had been one as it is now so integral to modern day teaching and my own years of teacher training in the early noughties. Pre-national curriculum, it appears that there was quite an inconsistent standard of education in past decades based on the experiences of those that I spoke to. For example, one of my interviewees was taught heraldry (the art and science of designing and using a coat of arms in very basic terms) for a year because his teacher had a personal interest in it! It’s fair to say that this wasn’t much use to him in later life. Another remembers having to help his teacher work out how much paint he needed for his boat and assisting him with painting it in class!

Other tales have been equally eye-opening: that there were no computers in schools until the 1980s – just look how far and how quickly that’s evolved! One retired teacher I interviewed remembers how lucky she felt to have a BBC micro computer with a concept keyboard and a cassette player that brought up images (slowly!) on a

She also remembers a world before the introduction of the photocopier (in today’s schools these are an invaluable, muchfought-over resource) and she had to make all of her own resources then use a Banda duplicator machine to copy each page painstakingly slowly one by one by the turn of a wheel.

Lessons offered for pupils in previous decades were also highly influenced by social assumptions outside of school. In many establishments, only boys could study metal work, technical drawing and woodwork and, for the girls, needlework and home economics – those important domestic subjects deemed vital at that time for a soon-to-be housewife. According to one pupil of the 1970s, boys had to choose one ‘technical’ subject at his school: woodwork or metal work. Girls were only allowed to learn dressmaking, cooking or typing. Seemingly, education was about setting pupils up for their anticipated future. Indeed, most of the boys in his class took up a trade or worked as an apprentice and most of the girls accepted office or shop work then married and left work to raise a family. Sue remembers only being allowed to study woodwork for a term at her school, unlike the boys. Eventually, she was able to do a carpentry course after leaving school and got a successful job in the furniture-making industry. I could not imagine a world where my son and daughters weren’t allowed to study the same subjects as each other due to their gender. Equal rights have certainly come a long way, as have equal aspirations for boys and girls in school and in wider society. was also in the 1970s that first and middle schools were introduced, with pupils then moving on to high/upper school aged around 13 – a ‘three-tier structure’ as it was known. Middle schools started to decline in the late 1980s, in part as a result of the introduction of the national curriculum in 1988 with its key stage divisions and corresponding attainment targets (more on this to come in the next issue).

Other memories include all resources being printed in black and white until commercial colour printing came into its own in the late 1970s. All that the teacherin-me can think about is how much harder this would have made learning for anyone with dyslexic tendencies, where colour can really help to make educational materials significantly more accessible. And how dull teaching resources would have looked! Nothing like the very readable and representative textbooks around today. Interestingly, textbooks are undergoing somewhat of a renaissance in many contemporary classrooms, with Ofsted (the Office for Standards in Education) and teachers still recognising their worth in the classroom despite some people regarding them as obsolete due to the development of the digital age. Physical dictionaries, however, might just be on their way out –I asked a pupil the other day whether she could use a dictionary and she said there was no need as she could just ask Alexa!

A wonderful chat with a local 103-yearold revealed the impact that the second world war had on her education. During this war (1939-1945 – but you all know this from your history lessons as discussed in a previous issue!!), most schools had only female teachers – usually untrained – as the majority of the local men were conscripted to fight. After the war, a significant number of children failed, unsurprisingly, to reach the required levels of English and maths. Many school buildings were bombed so children were taught in various makeshift buildings with huge class sizes due to evacuee children also joining them. Key parts of the daily timetable were writing to soldiers on the front line, collecting eggs for wounded soldiers, raising funds for the war effort and knitting for the troops. She loved school and remembers warm, strictbut-fair, nurturing teachers.

Another insight that was new to me was the fact that single-sex schools were the norm up until the 1960s, whereas this is now regarded as a unique selling point. Many interviewees also went to separate infant and junior schools. From the 1970s, these started to be merged into single primary schools, even though a good number remained as separate establishments. It

More ‘recent’ memories reveal a hugely different world from schools today: the staff room that radiated fumes from all the pipe-smoking teachers. Teachers spitting on tissues to roughly remove the make up on the faces of teenage girls or using acetone from the science lab to remove their nail varnish. Jen recalls her maths teacher (in the early 1980s) leaving the class unsupervised every week to go on an extended cigarette break whilst pupils worked from a textbook. This resulted in significant gaps in maths for the class by the end of the year. Margaret remembers ‘a naughty boy’ being locked in a stationary cupboard for the whole lesson for his misdemeanours. John remembers his teacher being openly and repeatedly racist to his friend during the 1980s. Tom remembers the classroom’s ‘shaky’ chair, on which children who had misbehaved had to stand facing the blackboard. His teacher then shook the chair whilst they had to try to not fall off. Others recall tables in the classroom kept aside for the ‘thickies’, ‘backwards’ or ‘retarded’ pupils as the teachers openly called them, with the dunce’s hat worn by those pupils deemed too slow at learning. Shockingly, there are some cases of schools still using a humiliating ‘dunce’s’ corner up until the 2000s, resulting in it finally being outlawed in 2010 due to its breach of human rights.

Then there are those memories of corporal punishment systems. Corporal punishment – using physical punishment to discipline – was only prohibited in 1986 in state schools and, shockingly, continued until 1998 in fee-paying schools. This ruling was appealed by the heads of many schools at the time. Disciplinary measures that were diligently recorded in school ‘Punishment Books’ included trousers being pulled down to smack children in front of the class, children being hit with a thin, broad, flat paddle on their backsides, and hitting children on the hands with rulers - especially those who dared to write with their left hand. How grossly unjust. Many remember teachers delivering ‘six of the best’ cane strikes for bad behaviour and Margaret recalls being boxed across the ears for burning her lamb chops in her cooking class and for not being able to sing in tune. She remembers the teachers at her school as sadistic with no qualms about making her cry. One interviewee, Mark, recollected his memories of attending a local Catholic school in Bristol run by clergy, who each kept a leather strap in their cassock, used to regularly beat the boys. He vividly remembers one occasion when a boy stood up to the teacher and punched him back, much to the class’ delight. His fate is unknown but the fate of these particular teachers would be a lengthy term in purgatory, according to Mark!

And then, linking to this, there’s that lack of safeguarding – action taken to promote the welfare of children and protect them from harm - in many schools of the past. Schools were far, far less responsible for protecting children from harm in any form. In some cases it was the teachers causing the harm. Sarah remembers many teachers bruising ‘daydreaming’ pupils by throwing blackboard rubbers at them or ‘giving them the slipper’. She says in her school there was no such thing as a ‘trusted adult’ and all teachers were creatures to mistrust and avoid as much as possible. Helen recalls predatory behaviour from a teacher and having her bra strap pinged on a daily basis. John remembers having to shower naked amongst his peers and the bullying that occurred within this daily routine. Tom remembers how his school mini-bus driver ran off with a young pupil and had two children with her – something that would now result in a lengthy prison sentence. Thankfully, all of these actions would now be completely unacceptable in today’s schools.

Such recollections highlight just how far school policies and schools cultures have evolved, ensuring that all functions are now carried out with a view to safeguarding and promoting the welfare of children. Behaviour systems must be fair and consistent, with the main focus on reinforcing and praising good behaviour – there is no throwing, hitting, smacking or sadistic cruelty to ‘discipline’ pupils of today. Teachers must abide by a set of standards which outline the requirements for their practice and conduct. As part of this statutory conduct, every teacher must treat pupils with dignity, building relationships rooted in mutual respect, and at all times observing set policies and proper boundaries appropriate to a teacher’s professional position. Every teacher has a responsibility to provide a safe environment in which children can learn and every school must ensure that they support both the physical and emotional welfare of pupils – essential foundations for successful learning. Buildings are required to be ‘safeguarding friendly’, with all classrooms visible through windows in all doors. Anyone now working with children must be DBS (criminal record) checked and fully trained in safeguarding. As this all suggests, the safeguarding of pupils has made tremendous strides and schools are now a vital part of the wider safeguarding network system monitoring the safety and well-being of all pupils.

Of course, many tales of the schools of the past also include numerous positive stories. There are those schools and individual teachers who really made a wonderful mark on the lives of pupils across the decades. Research carried out by Cadbury Roses in 2022 found that almost six in 10 adults yearned to turn the clock back so that they could say thank you to an inspirational teacher. And two thirds revealed their favourite teacher gave them self-belief and confidence for which they would always be grateful. Many people shared with me the warmth and kindness of particular teachers, including the 103-year-old, who still remembers her favourite teacher telling her that she’d go far with such an inquisitive, keen mind.

And there are those very personal, special memories that I was lucky enough to have shared with me. The weekly school lunch of spam fritters and chips that just can’t be replicated however much Mark has tried; trading Star Wars cards or football cards in the playground (not much has changed there – it’s still footie cards or Pokémon cards today); lighting a Bunsen burner for the first time (still happens); using the magic ‘e’ to help with reading (now called the less-than-magical ‘split digraph’). Other delightful memories include that playtime when pupils witnessed the first full eclipse of the sun in the 1950s; mass dances on the school field; school tuck shops; listening to ‘The Secret Garden’ at story time on the carpet at the end of the day; writing on slates wiped clean with worn-out jumper cuffs; the smell of Quink (a type of ink); guessing whose feet were sticking out of the door of the outside school toilet; Gill getting stung on the eyelid by a wasp on her very first day of school and having to go straight to the school nurse (now a rare sight in a school); listening to Music and Movement on BBC Schools Radio, which ran from 1934 to 1969; Hannah witnessing the top of a boy’s finger getting chopped off by a heavy school door (not allowed these days under much stricter health and safety laws) and being ordered to scoop it up and run it under cold water; lunchtimes spent at home, going for walks or playing bulldogs have all been shared. What a wonderful sprinkling of memories from days spent at school over the past half a century and more.

Next month, I delve a little into the history of education – the types of schools that pupils attended, qualifications studied and the history of the development of the national curriculum and all the changes this brought with it – to give some wider context to these memories. I also share more marvellous accounts from local folk –past pupils and teachers – about their own school days.

© Georgie Mountjoy, 2023

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Senior Snippets Senior Snippets The welcome sight of Spring

Welcome to the latest edition of Senior Snippets: an advisory column with the older members of our community in mind, brought to you by John Moore, Director of Home Instead in North Bristol.

As we see the evenings becoming longer and lighter, and the daffodils starting to bloom, we know that Spring is on the way. This gives us all a welcome boost and the opportunity to spend a little time outdoors and enjoy some fresh air and exercise.

Spending time in the garden tending plants and flowers or growing vegetables can be relaxing and rewarding. Gardening comes with many therapeutic and health benefits, including helping to burn calories and strengthen muscles.

You don’t need a huge space, tubs and window boxes can bring just as much pleasure, as you watch the colourful blooms grow. Spending time with nature is wonderfully satisfying and helps to clear the mind of worries. Gardening can also trigger the use of motor skills to boost endurance and strength, while reducing stress levels by enhancing relaxation.

Encouraging birds and wildlife into your garden is also good for mental health and wellbeing. Watching the birds is great for brain health, as you learn to identify different species and their behaviours. It helps distract from life stresses and find solace in the beauty of wild birds.

By placing a few bird feeders in the garden, you will get to see regular visitors, and their young. If you don’t have access to outdoor space, there are bird feeders that can be attached directly to a window.

If you would like to speak to someone at Home Instead, please do get in touch. Similarly if you have any ideas for a future topic, please call 0117 435 0063 or email john.moore@homeinstead.co.uk

Postal Services

Please check times in advance if possible as opening hours may vary

Cotham Pharmacy & Post Office - 9 - 6 Monday to Friday, 9 - 1 Saturday

Whiteladies Rd Post Office - 9 - 5.30 Monday to Friday, 9 - 13.00 Saturday

Gloucester Rd Post Office - 9 - 5.30 Monday to Saturday

Late Post - there is a late post box at the main Post Office sorting depot on the A38 at Filton. Currently the late post is at 7pm.

Waste & Recycling

If you are planning to visit the Recycling Centre at Avonmouth do check the Bristol Waste website - bristolwastecompany.co.uk - as a new booking system has been introduced You must also take proof of your identity / address. Until the end of March the site is operating winter opening hours - 8am to 4.15pm 7 days a week.

Local Trains

Check gwr.com for comprehensive up to date advice or call 03457 000 125 (09:00-17:00, 7 days a week) - or download the National Rail or GWR apps for the most reliable current information.

Bristol City Council

The Council website offers residents information about BCC services including council tax, bins & recycling, schools, leisure, business, streets and parking. Visit www.bristol.gov. uk or contact the General Enquiries switchboard on 0117 922 2000.

Libraries - latest opening times

Henleaze Library is currently open 11am to 5pm, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, 1pm - 7 pm on Wednesday and Friday, and 10am to 5pm on Saturday.

Clifton Library is open 10am - 2pm Monday & Friday, and 1pm - 5pm Tuesday, Thursday & Saturday.

Redland Library is open 11am - 5pm, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and 11am to 7pm on Wednesday Check www.bristol.gov.uk for full details.

Lasting power of attorney: acting as an attorney

So, you’ve been asked to be an attorney… but what does that mean?

If someone has appointed you using a lasting power of attorney (LPA), you can make decisions on their behalf once the LPA has been registered. That person is known as the ‘donor’, and you are their ‘attorney’. You don’t need any legal experience for this. Whilst still able, you should assist the donor to make their own decisions wherever possible.

There are two types of LPA – ‘health and welfare’ and ‘property and financial affairs’. Sometimes the same people will be attorney for both types of LPA, sometimes not. There may be more than one attorney responsible for making decisions and the donor will specify whether you need to agree on the decisions you’ll make (jointly), or whether you can make decisions with another attorney or on your own (jointly and severally).

The donor can include specific instructions within an LPA but it’s a great idea to talk to the donor to understand how they would like you to act in their best interests in different circumstances. For example, regarding charitable giving, plans for their money and how they would like to be cared for if they became ill.

What happens if you can no longer act as someone’s attorney?

There are many reasons an attorney can cease to act on a donor’s behalf – they may decide they don’t want to anymore, may lose mental capacity, perhaps they were a spouse or civil partner and the relationship subsequently ended or they have died.

When someone is arranging LPAs, we would always suggest they indicate ‘reserve’ attorneys just in case so ideally, if you aren’t able to act for them, there will hopefully be a backup.

As award-winning vulnerable customer champions, we’re well-placed to help you plan to prepare for the future, whatever that may hold. We can help to organise LPAs and also help to guide attorneys to ensure they are supported in making financial decisions in your best interests.

If you would like to have a relaxed chat about your financial circumstances, or to arrange LPAs, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Call 0117 3636 212 or email office@haroldstephens.co.uk.

Richard records regular video updates on a range of later life financial topicssearch ‘Harold Stephens IFA’ on YouTube.

www.haroldstephens.co.uk