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Illustration: Clym Evenden
The Essence of Pure Du’aa’ Dua is one characteristics that is shared among many world religions and philosophies. In the end, the key difference is the recipient of the prayer. But what is dua? Why is dua important? Why do speakers, teachers, and religious leaders emphasize the importance of dua? Prayer is emphasised because prayer is a very important practice. Not only can prayer bring spiritual support, prayer can also benefit a person mentally and physically. Du’aa’ in Arabic means “to call and connect”. Dua is essentially an expression of submission of faith to God and of one’s neediness. Dua is important because its communication with God. It’s important because it’s a way of thanking God, asking for help, way to intercede, way to praise Almighty. There are few pre-conditions for Dua to be accepted in Islam. Which are sincerity, complete faith and believe, patience, purity, good intentions and attentive heart. Guidance and contentment is my all-time favorite dua and I believe deep in my heart that thinking positive can work miracles. You may have been told to “guard your thoughts”, but felt the advice to be pointless. After all, your thoughts are private. How can they possibly affect someone else? The fact is, thoughts do seem to boomerang in some mysterious ways. Science has not found a way to measure them as they have invisible sound waves. In order to understand how positive thinking works, and how to use it efficiently, it is important to understand the power of negative thinking first. Negative thoughts and tensions are like birds. We cannot stop them from flying near us but, we can certainly stop them from making a nest in our mind. The mind can be directed towards positive thinking or negative thinking. The power of thought is a neutral power. The way one thinks determines whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful. It is the same of energy acting in different ways. Persistent inner work can change habits of thoughts. You must be willing to put energy and time to avoid negative thinking and pursue
positive thinking, in order to change your mental attitude. Think of those things which are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, in other words, to fill your mind with noble, good thoughts, leaving no room for negative ones to take root. The most powerful weapon you have is Dua (prayer). Use it and use it often. The basis of prayer is to lift us and situations to Almighty ALLAH an inner act of visualisation. “Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers. Or you can grow weeds.” Of course, dua has no set time and we should always connect to our creator but for me, sunset is very symbolical spiritual time. It makes me slow down. It inspires me as a moment of change, where I bed daily sun with the hope of new beautiful day to rise again. Dua has a transcendent spiritual, healing, restorative effect, especially if it’s built in to cycles of daily living. “My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your favours which You have bestowed on me and on my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds that will please You, and admit me by Your mercy among Your righteous servants.”
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CONTENTS 1 WORK
2 SELF
3 HEALTH
4 INSPIRE
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What makes a CEO? Are CEO’s born or made? In this feature, we analyse the personality traits and characteristics of those at the very top of the corportate ladder.
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The seven traits of influence Dr Karen Keller explains why some people are able to influence those around them more than others – and what you can learn from them.
What is Halal? The life of the Muslim revolves around the concept of Halal, but what exactly does it mean for you and your family?
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On the other hand From kindness and anger to generosity and greed, for every example of goodness is an opposite trait to be aware of. In total, there are 14 ‘extremes’ of mankind we explore them all.
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Just do it Being a great athlete is about more than just physical strength – to really win, it’s about training the mind as much as the body.
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10 Desirable traits Our characters are a mixture of our thoughts and our actions. Here, we look at the ones we should all wish to possess.
Some of the Prophet’s manners & characteristics We turn to the Prophet, to see the true example of how we should live
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The father who went to school An old tale of wisdom from the Ukraine
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‘Love is’ A poem by Jain Hopkins
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Does giving make us happier? Dr Asma looks at the science of charity
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Work
“The greatest wealth is wisdom, the greatest poverty is stupidity.” – Hazrat Hasan Basri
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What makes a
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Have you ever wondered what the world’s most successful people have in common? We investigate their personality traits.
In this era of economic stagnation, CEOs have taken on new significance: they are the self-starters who are building businesses, creating jobs and stimulating the economy. The impulse to dissect their personalities and motivations to see what they have in common is therefore quite natural. If we can learn what makes the best and the brightest so successful, then aspiring entrepreneurs and future business leaders can learn from that, which will lead to even more economic growth. Several studies have been done on the personality traits of CEOs, and they found five distinct traits amongst them: a need for achievement, a locus of control, risk-taking propensities, tolerance of ambiguity and a Type-A personality. Of course, these qualities are not found in every single CEO, however. The amount and strength of the characteristics can often be determined when looking at what motivates CEOs. Largely, CEOs can be said to be motivated by three things: achievement, where hitting targets is the main interest and driving force for the person; affiliation, the desire to create something that lasts to benefit family or legal heirs or power, the need to be in charge of other people. Here, we take a look at some of the top CEOs and what we can establish from their behaviour‌
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Words: under30ceo.com
Marc Benioff, Salesforce.com
Carlos Brito, Anheuser-Busch Inbev
Marc Benioff began cloud-computing giant Salesforce.com before anyone else was thinking about it. He left a job at Oracle to co-found the company in 1999, and now it has redefined how people use corporate software. Instead of buying software and installing it on company servers, they are accessing their information online. This revolution has seen the company generate $2.27 billion in revenue. “We’ve been deadly accurate in what’s happened over the last decade,” says Benioff. Clearly a risk taker, Benioff is also very tolerant of ambiguity and motivated by achievement. Crediting his own correct predictions suggests he has a real internal locus of control, seeing his success in his own rightness.
Carlos Brito began as CEO of Inbev, a South American brewer that under his direction grew so large that it could buy out Anheuser-Busch in 2008. Since then, profit margins have risen by an impressive 10%. He prefers commuter trains to private cars, and he considers petty politics to be the bane of business. He took over a successful Brazilian drinks company, Brahma, and has subsequently found power through mergers. His distaste for petty politics in all areas of work indicates he likes to persuade people, suggesting that he is motivated by power. His preference for trains over private cars and drivers hints that he may have an external locus of control.
Jeffery Boyd, Priceline.com
Warren Buffett, Berkshire Hathaway
Jeffery Boyd took over Priceline.com in 2002, taking a failing business with a promising product and turning it into the market leader. Instead of focussing on the company’s previous plan, the “name your own price” approach, he turned the site into the Google of holidays: he let other websites use their data and computers to give people the holiday results they want. Most of the company’s customers search for the holiday they want on a different website, and the results the other websites show come from Priceline.com. Boyd tried out a bold new strategy for a failing company, so he is clearly ambiguity tolerant. His desire to almost single-handedly turn things around suggests a competitiveness that is consistent with a Type-A personality and an internal locus of control.
Warren Buffett became CEO of Berkshire Hathaway in 1965, but he has kept its portfolio of railroads, insurers, chemical manufacturers and other businesses completely modern. The company generates US$11 billion every year in profits. He built his fortune through a series of shrewd buyouts and takeovers, suggesting a preference for influence over achievement and a man who is motivated by power. He is likely to be a Type-A personality, but he is somewhat riskaverse, preferring to build his company’s fortunes through a series of logical, fairly safe investments than by building and launching products. Still, this is all balanced out by a strong sense of responsibility, both to his company and to the wider world.
Peter Sands, Standard Chartered Peter Sands took the reins of the British-based global bank in 2006. Since then, the company has seen nine years of record profits, largely because it has rapidly expanded into Hong Kong and Singapore. A traditional professional CEO, Sands has risen up the ranks of Standard Chartered to become the CEO. He has credited his company’s ability to weather the downturn to its conservative business model, preferring steady growth in emerging markets in India and Asia to the sub-prime mortgages and risky investments of other banks. He has said that he comes from a “problem-solving culture”. This suggests he has an aversion to risk and an internal locus of control.
Michael O’Leary, Ryanair
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CEO of Ryanair since 1994, Michael O’Leary has grown the airline as Europe’s economy has shrunk. He began doing this by offering strippedback services for rock-bottom prices, hitting on a formula Europeans were (relatively) happy with. After all, passengers wouldn’t have to give up the foreign holidays they were beginning to take for granted, even though their money wasn’t going as far. Anyone who has read an article featuring O’Leary can immediately tell he is a Type-A personality. He is incredibly competitive, seeking always to improve profits by trimming costs or adding small fees wherever possible. He is likely motivated by a desire for power.
WORK Howard Schultz, Starbucks Schultz famously took a Seattle coffee house and, after an inspiring trip to Italy, turned it into a global monolith that married Italian coffee culture with the American assembly line production method and service standards. He took eight years off, and then returned in 2008 to see the company introduce instant and single serve coffees into homes around the world. He is credited with inventing the modern coffee house industry, but he has said: “I always believed that shareholder value must be balanced with a social conscience.” As a result, Starbucks continues to be named one of the best companies to work for. He clearly has a risk-taking propensity and a tolerance for ambiguity, but his refusal to put success ahead of employees’ welfare indicates he’s not a strong Type-A personality. Ma Huateng, Tencent He may not be well known in the West, but Ma Huateng is CEO of the third-largest internet company in the world. He founded Tencent in 1998 with four friends, doing everything from designing their websites to cleaning the toilets if need be. Now, Tencent offers China’s increasing numbers of internet users products including web portals, social networks, online games and a smartphone messaging service, all of which earn the company US$53 billion. A man willing to do whatever it takes to succeed, Ma is clearly motivated by a need for achievement. He has an internal locus of control, as he saw how the littlest actions moved his company closer to success. Building a successful Internet company in China must have required both a propensity for risktaking and a tolerance for ambiguity. Tadashi Yanai, Fast Retailing Japan’s richest man, Tadashi Yanai is responsible for turning its biggest brand, Uniqlo, into a global one. Under his leadership, Fast Retailing has seen sales double over the past five years, right as the recession has been closing down other retailers. This has allowed the company to buy up brands like Helmut Lang and Comptoir des Cotonniers. Still, his autobiography, One Win, Nine Losses, makes it clear that he learns as much
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from his defeats as he does from his victories. “I might look successful but I’ve made many mistakes. People take their failures too seriously. You have to be positive and believe you will find success next time.” This attitude suggests Yanai can easily tolerate ambiguity and may have an external locus of control, as he accepts failure rather than fighting against it.
Olivia Lum, Hyflux In 1989, Olivia Lum saw a gap in an unlikely market – drinking water. She set up what would eventually become Hyflux, one of Asia’s leading water treatment and recycling companies, with only US$15,000. This is hardly her first remarkable achievement: she was adopted at birth and brought up in a shack in Malaysia, and she eventually earned a degree in chemistry. Now, Hyflux’s success has seen her become one of the richest women in South East Asia. Her life story demonstrates a deep desire to achieve, as she simply could not have pulled herself out of poverty without a desire to make something of herself. This may have been underlined by a desire for affiliation, as she sits on several boards, councils and committees dedicated to improving access to clean water and improving the environment. She has a very strong locus of control. What we’ve learned... Although this is hardly a comprehensive list, it suggests there are some consistent psychological characteristics and motivations amongst the world’s top CEOs. A desire for power or achievement, an ability to tolerate uncertain situations and an ability to take some risks seem to be fairly consistent. A Type-A personality and an internal locus of power are helpful, but are by no means necessary. Now these traits are becoming better understood, the business leaders of tomorrow can develop these personality traits to become the future world’s top CEOs.
“Sometimes women entrepreneurs are their own challenge, in terms of believing in themselves. There is no need to apologise for being ambitious� TORI BURCH
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The seven traits of inf luence by Dr. Karen Keller
Self-made multi-millionaire Tony Robbins is one of the world’s most influential people
What are the seven influence traits? To become more influential you have to work from the inside out, focusing on each of these seven influence traits. Mastering these traits will naturally make you more influential and can change the course of your life. And the first step to creating that change is to start where influential leaders start — with self-knowledge. If you’re like most people, you likely cannot objectively measure these traits within yourself.
How to maximise your influence
Image: © Tony Robbins
After years of study, Dr. Karen Keller has identified seven crucial traits that have a direct impact on a person’s level of influence. Everyone possesses these traits to varying degrees, and it’s those variances that affect your influence potential. You can work on these Seven Influence Traits to improve your abilities and then maximise your full influence potential. This will help you increase your own level of influence, and in turn improve your business, career success and professional and personal relationships for a more fulfilling life.
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WORK
CONFIDENCE
Confidence is having the ‘whatever-it-takes’ attitude. This is your mental attitude of believing in, trusting in, and relying on yourself and your abilities.
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Accept and eliminate self-doubt
Share it
• Erase doubts you had as a child • Identify, acknowledge, and then act upon what is stopping you • Admit that low self-confidence • Denying a confidence problem causes stress levels to skyrocket • Failure happens but it isn’t who you are
• Tell someone you trust that you struggle with confidence • Run your presentation by this trusted friend or peer • Sharing helps immensely with your anxiety • Sharing gets you some constructive feedback
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Find What’s Real
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Face your fear
• Look at the facts • Stop playing and re-playing the tape that says, “I can’t...” • Re-visit all your accomplishments • Remind yourself why all these great things happened to you • Avoid a false sense of reality
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Pick your battles
• Nothing will hurt you • You have the skills to cope with an alarming situation • Confront your fear • Argue with your fear • Fear is a sign you need to take a risk • Step out of your comfort zone • Learning is a huge boost to confidence
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• Decide the battles that match your view of who you are • Meet a challenge if it confronts your beliefs and the values you live by • Go beyond your own expectations • Expand your horizons • With every new triumph your self-confidence will grow
Remain humble • Anything in excess can be too much • Being over-confident leads to mistakes and blaming others • Believe in yourself but just don’t let it go to your head
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COMMITMENT
Commitment is the underlying force behind achievement. The more determined you are to reach a specific goal, especially in the face of adversity, the more likely you will succeed.
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2 Aligns with your core values
Won’t feel like a burden
• Commitment comes easily when it supports your values • You have to truly believe it • If no alignment with core values you’re riding on a roller coaster • Needs to be in sync with your integrity
• Make your passion your life’s work • Find desire in your relationships • You are eager to move forward • No nagging objections
3 See commitment as an honour
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• No hesitation or analysis-paralysis • Your heart says YES • Your mind agrees with your heart • Sense of dedication
5 Experience a ‘good tired’
You will be noticed
• Fulfillment of a job well done • Exhaustion from digging deep into your inner being • Major accomplishment of goals • You wake up ready to start again
• People who matter won’t judge you • Others will support and admire you • People respect you doing what’s right for you
Benefits of making a commitment • You will gain clarity • Provides sense of security • Improve ability to see opportunity • Increases focus • Provides purpose • Impetus to take risks
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COUR AGE
Courage is your strength to face difficult circumstances – or even difficult people – head on.
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Self-discipline
Create Knowledge
• Maintain strength of will • Focus long-term goals • Stay loyal to big picture • Know your goals & values • Be aware of actions & fall-outs • Keep up positive self-talk
• What fears hold you back? • What questions do you need to ask? • What resources do you have? • How will you move through tough times? • Search for honest answers
3 Stay grounded in your beliefs & values
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• Where do your beliefs originate? • Create supportive beliefs. • Are you living your values? • Stand firm in your values. • What are you willing to sacrifice?
Hang out with courageous people
5 Practice it
• Your are your friends • Learn from courageous people • Who are your role models? • Notice the leaders in your company. • Visualise your courage • Turn your visualisation into reality
• Courage is your muscle - make it strong • Defeat what scares you • Start something new • Take a risk • Use your values to carry you forward
It takes courage to...
• Dare to feel different • Risk sharing what is on your mind • Be vulnerable • Live an honest life • Place faith in your growth
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LIKABILITY
Likability is more than being friendly. It’s your capacity to create positive attitudes in the people around you, and focus those attitudes towards a common goal.
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Be Respectful To Everyone
Be Authentic • Be real – there’s no room for phoniness • Communicate your talents, skills and strengths by being real • Authenticity results in others having real expectations of you
• It’s okay not to agree with everyone • Remove your ‘respect blinders’ • Pay attention to your own behavior • Get to know the person you don’t respect • Walk in their shoes
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Willingness To Be Wrong
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Listen
• Know when to say I’m sorry • People love people who are human • Refrain from a front of perfection • Lose the fear of being vulnerable • Vulnerability reminds us to be more patient and forgiving
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Laugh
• Pay attention to what is going on with other people • Not only hearing the words but truly listening • Everyone likes to be heard but very few people are good at listening • When you listen others will listen • People who listen have richer relationships
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• Not laughing leads to missing what is important • Remove day-to-day stress • Laughter increases memory and learning - Johns Hopkins University Medical School study says, “Humour during instruction led to increased test scores
Spread joy Your likeability depends on your ability to create positive attitudes through the delivery of emotional and physical benefits. If you are highly likeable, it is predicted that you will bring joy, and reap the benefits of loyal friendship
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EMPOWERING
Empowering is your ability to support peers and share knowledge with them. It also includes how you reward people who make a contribution.
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Believe All People Have Worth
Trust That Others Will Grow
• People are capable of change • Every person has personal strengths • Effective leaders have positive regard for people • Visibly demonstrate each person’s unique values
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• Trust people’s intentions to do the right thing • Have faith that people will make the right decision • Trusting communicates that people are capable • Overprotection means, “I don’t trust you”
Show Patience
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• It takes time for people to grow • Be tolerant of the time it takes people to solve problems • Find balance between waiting forever and being reasonable • Hiring the right people pays off
Exhibit Humility
Empowering Process:
Empowering others is a process that encourages people to gain control over their lives. When you empower people you are helping them succeed and achieve on multiple levels. In short, empowering helps increase another person’s spiritual, social, mental, and emotional strengths.
• Be humble in your words and deeds • Nobody knows everything all the time • There is always room for new experiences and ideas • Lack of humility makes people feel inferior and ineffective
Successful leaders let others
take responsibility, discover their genius, and make mistakes. Permitting people to fail is one the hardest pieces of empowering. It’s letting people solve their problems, struggle bringing forth brilliant ideas, and encouraging them to discover their talents and skills.
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TRUSTWORTHINESS Trustworthiness is a high virtue, and is fairly self-explanatory. It is worth noting though that of all the influence traits, this is usually the most crucial. Lose trust, and you instantly lose influence.
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Be truthful
Stay loyal
• Trust is based on truth • Lies cause a little voice in your head to say, “Hmmm…. Is that right?” • Telling the truth at work demonstrates a commitment to integrity • Truth at work builds reputation • Telling the truth encourages honesty in others
• Be loyal when the other person is not present • Defending those who are absent builds the trust of those who are present • Loyalty causes you to take a position • Don’t sit back and watch - standing out
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Keep your promises
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• Honor your commitments • Keep an appointment or freely give your time • Keeping your word makes people feel as a priority in your life • Keeping your promise means it’s important to you
Be accountable
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Promote communication and understanding
• Recognize and accept responsibility for your mistakes • Own up to what happened and puts forth effort to change it • Successful people have the attitude is, “What do I need to do to correct it?” • People admire when you hold yourself accountable
• Open and honest communication is built on trust • Non-verbal communication is just as important as verbal • Refrain from being judgmental • Offer your help and assistance
What Do Trustworthy People Do? Trustworthy people build understanding because they aren’t judgmental toward others. They understand where they’ve come from, recognise their ability to change and support them when times are tough.
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PASSION
Passion is the fire in your spirit for what you do. It is the expression of your enthusiasm and your eagerness, and starts the engine for your success.
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Barrier to passion: Downward communication
Barrier to passion: Conflict is met with disrespect
• Communication flows ONLY from the top • Feedback does not happen
• People whose ideas are different from management are met with sarcasm • People feel dismissed or unintelligent • People learn passion isn’t valued • You needs to nurture emotional intelligence • Invite respectful debate
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Barrier to passion: Shun new ideas
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• People with new ideas are the first witnesses to innovation • Ignoring new ideas shuts down new possibilities • You miss creativity and opportunities
Important to realise... What is important for companies or organisations to realise is that of strong desire. Passion enables you to overcome internal and external obstacles allowing you to see the world as a place of endless potential. Your passionate force looks at every event and discovers what can be, what should be and what will be.
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“Vision without passion is a picture without possibilities” – John C Maxwell
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Passion is a gift... Passion is a gift of your spirit united with the sum of all your life experiences. It affords you the power. Passion gives birth to new ideas to live and communicate with enthusiasm. It is most apparent when your mind, body and spirit work together. Passion creates energy – an energy that’s noticeable and transferable.
Self
“I never argued with anyone with the intetion to win; rather, my intention was to seek the truth.� - Imam Ash-Shafi`i
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On the other hand The Fourteen Extremes of Mankind By The Citizens Party
There are fourteen well-known extremes traits of mankind. Very few people know them as extremes, but we all suffer from them in some degree. Once you become familiar with these extremes, then it is up to you to balance you thoughts and actions along those lines, so as to become a better person and thus a better citizen. And just maybe you will become the person you were meant to be. If you do the work you can become that person. Remember, life is a journey, not a destination.
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“We cannot resist temptation unless we become aware of how it works”
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SELF
URGENCY The opposite of sloth is urgency. When you have a sense of urgency you get things done. This valuable habit can be developed in the person. You can learn to have that inner drive to get things done and to do the next right thing. If you are busy doing the next wrong thing, then you will never understand urgency.
SLOTH Sloth is the avoidance of work. Whether that work be physical or spiritual. Sloth is idleness, and wastefulness of time.
TEMPERANCE The opposite of gluttony is temperance. Temperance is the acceptance of the need to balance natural desires. This means temperance in all things, food, clothing, stuff, shelter, and the company of others.
GLUTTONY Gluttony is the desire for more, and then more. Whether that more is food, drink, or love, it is the unhealthy desire for more. We can see gluttony at work in many people’s lives and in the world around us. 33
LOVE Love is the opposite of lust. Love means giving, while lust mean getting. Love is patient, and kind; love is not about benefits. Love is a sincere desire to help others. So then what about Hate? What is the opposite of Hate? The opposite of hate is tolerance or compassion. Lust is an excessive craving for the pleasures of the body. Lust can take many forms however it is normally associated with sexual desire. I have known people who lust after things other than sex. Lust is the extreme desire for things, which you want. People lust after money, food, stuff, and people. Lust means getting, however you will find that lust in the end is empty. The more you get as a result of lust will only result in you wanting more, it never ends.
LUST
KINDNESS Kindness is the opposite of anger. Kindness implies patience and compassion towards others as a means to balance anger. Kindness is trying to understand others. We must come to believe that we all have faults. No one is perfect and the practice of kindness will help to remove angry from the world.
ANGER Anger comes in many forms including self-righteous anger. Anger can consume and take over ones actions and thoughts fully as can all of the traits of mankind. Impatience with others faults leads to anger. Anger means that you may be taking yourself too seriously. 34
SELF
CONTENTMENT The opposite of envy is contentment. We must learn to be happy with what we have. It is normal to desire more, but envy is once again the unhealthy desire for what others have. Learning contentment is not an easy thing to do in the modern society in which we live today. However it is a trait that we all should work towards. Envy is the unhealthy desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation. Envy is like saying, “I want what someone else has.” Everyone is infected with envy to some degree. Sadly envy is spread on a mass scale today, it is the focus of the media on those people that have the most, which fuels envy in people. I feel that envy causes many of our world problems today.
ENVY
GENEROSITY The opposite of greed is generosity. Generosity comes in many forms. It can be as simple as spending time with someone who is in need. This could be termed as generosity of your time. There are millions of people who have free time that could help others. Next there is generosity of credit, for a job well done. Most will not give credit away to others for it would interfere with their ego’s greed for credit. Now on the topic of greed, which is mostly associated with money, but it, can apply to many things. Greed is the strong desire to get more power or money. Greed is fueled by the desire to get your fair share or a little more. However the idea of fair is not what humans have in mind. Greed can take over people and motive than into wrong actions.
GREED
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‘‘Between black and white there are 256 shades of grey. So then between any too extremes there are many shades of grey. Balance is found in the middle ground’’
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HUMILITY The opposite of pride is humility. Humility is a gift. I was able to start learning about humility once I got down to the right size. The only way I got there was to create the following image in my head. I am nothing more than a speck of dust on a grain of sand in the sea of time. I am really not that important. This changed my view of others and myself around me. I was finally ok with not being the centre Last but not least is pride. If someone else’s of everything. pride bothers you then you many be full of pride yourself. Pride is often the desire to be more important than others. Self-centeredness, self-pity, and selfish are traits which flow from pride. A prideful person believes him or herself to be in complete control. They will act as if they are the centre of the Universe.
PRIDE
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All of these fourteen traits can only be truly understood by your own personal experiences with them. You cannot learn about them by reading alone. First you are given the information, and then you must test it by taking actions. You can choose the middle ground, or one of the extremes; you have the power of choice, now it is time to use it.
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Words: California Psychics
IO DESIRABLE TRAITS INTEGRITY
SENSE OF HUMOUR
The true definition of integrity comes from the Latin word integritas, which means “whole” or “intact.” It encumbers all the traits and best human qualities that make a truly “good” person, such as honesty, being incorruptible, straight and morally upright. A person with integrity won’t lie, will keep their word and won’t betray you. They won’t go behind your back, badmouth you, go after another person’s partner or cheat on you, and they adhere to a code of ethics that may make them predictable, but safe to the heart and one’s sanity. No unpleasant surprises come from someone with all the characteristics of a good human. People who exhibit the best human qualities follow a code of ethics that tends to be, as the word suggests, incorruptible, and they adhere to principles of common decency.
Life has ups and downs. There will be good times, bad times, hard times and easy times. Everything is easier if one keeps a sense of humour, or at least surrounds oneself with those who have one. There is a reason that poll after poll shows that most people desire a sense of humour in their partners. I also feel that someone who makes me laugh most of the time will probably not make me cry too often either. For some odd reason, this equation works for me.
COURAGEOUSNESS Let’s face it, people. Who wants to be with a coward? Someone who can’t and won’t stand up for their own beliefs will definitely not stand up for you or anyone else. Courageousness may not seem like such a big deal to some, but upon examining history, one notices that cowards are not too different from criminals. Why? Because most atrocious crimes to mankind would not have succeeded had it not been for the silent bystanders and those who looked the other way. No courage usually also means no principles, which will make you expendable for the simple reason that a coward will only do the least effort required and will tug tail and run when true work is required.
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EMOTIONALLY OPEN No one wants to be with someone who is so closed off that they can’t show the most “normal” emotions. If you have ever tried to be friends or have a relationship with someone who has the emotional depth of a rock, you’ll know what I mean. How would someone who has a hard time feeling, or showing feelings, relate to you? I feel that the happy medium is our friend here. There is a difference between someone who is so closed off that they just look at you blankly, or worse, scold you or put you down when you’re feeling sad or miserable, and then there are those who break down as soon as someone looks at them the wrong way. Being able to share one’s heart doesn’t mean that one has to be a weakling or whiner. Someone who can’t feel is usually damaged goods, and lack of depth in emotional matters usually translates into lack of depth in other matters!
INTELLIGENCE, EDUCATION AND COMMON SENSE I have met plenty of people in my life with high IQs and no common sense. My personal belief is that common sense, social intelligence and “street smarts” are pretty much the same. Being able to solve the most difficult mathematical problems won’t make anyone a great partner or friend, if they cannot hold a conversation, relate to other people at all and have zero social skills. Social skills or relating to others are abilities required to use common sense, which dictates what or what not to do or say in every day settings. Overall, I don’t think any further explanation is required when it comes to this point.
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KINDNESS Kindness protects you from all kinds of heartaches. Kindness is like integrity. A person who possesses kindness will usually keep your heart safe and your best interests in mind. Their willingness to help others also translates into someone who knows how to put another’s needs ahead of their own when needed. A kind person carries a light, and that light tends to attract other “good” people too.
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SELF
SELFCONFDENCE
DISCIPLINE
Everyone is low on confidence now and then. But stay clear of those with literally no selfesteem. A person without self-confidence/self-esteem spells disaster, because they will fail on numerous other “must-haves.” They are usually driven by self-preservation, and will do almost anything to overcome their feelings of inadequacy. This can make them psychotic and distrusting, and possibly even make them into stalkers. Which, in return, almost always ensures dishonesty, a closed heart/inability to truly feel and experience love and joy, a lack of integrity and definitely no courage. They’re usually a bucket with a huge hole in the bottom. No matter how much love and care one will pour into them, it will never be enough to make them feel safe, loved or good enough. After all, it’s impossible to love and care for someone who doesn’t love and care for themselves!
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There are different levels of discipline, that’s for sure. But avoid those who have absolutely no discipline at all. It requires discipline to succeed in life. Anyone who throws in the towel at the first sign of difficulty or opposition will not make a great long-term companion. This is because discipline translates into stamina, i.e. staying power. A person who can’t stick with anything for a longer period of time because it’s uncomfortable or means work is, again, someone who is either not confident or lazy. In either scenario, it’s not going to be a winning situation for you, because if they can’t stick with their own goals, they won’t stick with you either.
GENEROSITY One of the worst people to have in one’s life is a miser. Those who constantly complain about the money they don’t have, especially while spending it on things that don’t serve them, are not only annoying, but also no fun to have around. The opposite of generous is selfish, and who wants to be with a selfish person? Being miserly also tends to show individuals who are very preoccupied with material, i.e. superficial things. Combine that with the constant complaint about not having enough, and you’ll get a good picture of how life with someone who can’t be generous looks like.
10 SELF-AWARENESS
I can’t stress the importance of self-awareness enough. Most people believe themselves to be all kinds of things, which they are not. This is due to the fact that they aren’t really all that self-aware, and hence don’t ever check to see if their idea of who they are actually coincides with what other people see about them. Self-awareness is the fine middle ground of truly knowing your strengths and weaknesses without being either completely weak and self-loathing, or arrogant and narcissistic. Self-awareness allows us to know when we are way off our rocker. It allows us to see when we are wrong/screwed up and need
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to possibly adjust or change certain behaviours and patterns. Self-awareness allows us to look in the mirror and see who we really are; not who we think we are or hoped we were. People without self-awareness cannot grow, because they will never learn from past mistakes. They are literally blind and lost souls, stumbling after what looks and sounds the most appealing. Without self-awareness there is no truth, just illusion; and a perpetual cycle of trying to find what they think will make them happy. If you don’t know who you are, you sure as hell won’t know what makes you happy.
Health
“Patience is the best healing source of anger.” - Hazrat Uthman bin Affan
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What is halal?
HEALTH
The life of the Muslim revolves around the concept of Halal. A Muslim must consume Halal food and drink. The word “Halal” literally means permissible and in translation, it is usually used as lawful. Opposite to Halal is Haram, which means unlawful or forbidden. With today’s manufacturing and food production, it is hard to know what goes in the food we eat. Food labelling helps, but not everything is listed, and what is listed is often a mystery. In reference to food, it is dietary standard, as prescribed in the Quran the Muslim scripture. General Quranic guidance dictates that all foods are Halal except those that are specifically mentioned as Haram (unlawful or prohibited). Islam is the natural way of life. Its economical system is just; its social system is based on cooperation and brotherhood; its political system is based on consultation and dietary laws are very simple and beneficial for all the humanity. 49
Guidelines for eating Halal
Pharmaceuticals & Cosmetics
Within the Islamic religion, a strong emphasis is placed on cleanliness - both spiritually, and in the context of food and drink. For a food and drink product to be approved for consumption it must conform to the Islamic dietary laws as specified in the Quran, the saying of Prophet Muhammad, his Sunnah (tradition) and in Fiqh (understanding) of the Islamic Jurists. The Quran has numerous injunctions instructing Muslims to choose and consume good wholesome foodstuffs. As an example, any pig product is considered Haram because the material itself is Haram, whereas beef from an animal that has not been slaughtered according to Islamic rites would still be considered Haram. To determine the Halal-Haram status of the foodstuffs and other material, Islam has laid general guidelines on this matter, namely:
Since these days ethanol, alcohol and animal derivatives a majority of pharmaceuticals and toiletries are made from or have some constituents, which can not be described as Halal. With the global market for Halal commodities currently valued at $2 trillion alone, the slice of that market commanded by Halal personal care products in the Middle East is currently estimated to be valued at $560m. Currently the market for beauty and grooming products as a whole in the Middle East is growing at 12% per annum, and is valued at $2.1bn – growth that is being mirrored by the demand for Halal personal care products. Halal cosmetics can contain animal-derived ingredients, but these have to be prepared according to Islamic codes.
1. All raw materials and ingredients used must be Halal.
Islam encourages its followers to choose Halal foods. This awareness is always propagated in Muslim societies and is strengthened by the widespread knowledge extolling the virtues of consuming clean and halal foods. Due to advancements in food technology and distribution, Muslims are more exposed to various ingredients and manufactured foods imported into Muslim countries. The most common of these are food additives, gelatin, emulsifiers and rennet in cheese manufacture. The Muslim community would like to know whether or not the addition, the ingredients or the finished foods contain any Haram substance. These products can become Halal if the raw materials are Halal and the process is compatible with the Islamic way. It’s understood that the production of Halal food is not only beneficial to Muslims, but also to food producers, by means of increasing market acceptance of their products.
2. Naturally Halal animals such as cattle, goats etc., must be slaughtered according to Islamic rites, the rituals specify that the act must be performed by a mentally sound Muslim, to sever the blood and respiratory channels of the animal, using a sharp cutting tool such as knife.
Encouragement for Halal
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HEALTH
All foods are considered halal except the following:
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Swine/pork and its by-products or any derivatives.
Alcohol and intoxicants.
Animals not slaughtered according to the Islamic requirements.
Food products and ingredients such as enzymes, gelatin, emulsifier, are considered mashbooh and must be verified before its application.
Blood and blood by-products.
Carnivorous animals, birds of prey.
The Halal ingredients must not be mixed, or come into contact with Haram materials such as products from pig or dog, during storage, transport, cooking serving etc
Foods contaminated with any of the products listed.
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JUST DO IT Being great athlete is about so much more than physical strength – here we look at the importance of training the mind as well as the body 53
HEALTH
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What makes the great ones great? 55
DRIVE —
CONFIDENCE
The problem with superstar athletes is that you see the final result - greatness but not all of the hours they put in on the court, field, track, or road. Whether you call it motivation, determination, or commitment, the great ones have it in spades. They just work as hard as they possibly can. And that drive is usually propelled by intense passion for their sport; they love playing the game. Maria Sharapova, for all her seemingly natural talent, was the first on the court and the last off when she was a kid.
— I’m not talking arrogance here, but rather a deep belief in ones’ ability to achieve goals. Those with confidence just know they will succeed even though they don’t always. Back in the 1980s, there was a poster of Michael Jordan taking a last second shot. The caption read: “I was given the ball 27 times with ten seconds left in the game and the winning shot in my hands...and I missed.” That didn’t stop him from wanting the ball and taking the shot. He believed he would make the next shot.
EMOTIONS —
FOCUS —
You can see it in eyes of great athletes, like laser beams locked onto whatever they need to concentrate on to get the job done. They are totally focused, blocking out distractions, whether competitors, expectations, fans, nerves, conditions, past mistakes, or future results. Tiger Woods is a great example here: tournament after tournament, against the best golfers in the world, when everyone expects him to win, Tiger puts his head down, his eyes on the ball and the ball in the cup.
The last and most misunderstood piece of the athletic greatness puzzle. Emotions impact the great ones in obvious and surprising ways. Pressure to win, personal family relationship factors. There are so many different areas but in order to succeed one must learn to control such feelings, the need for meditation is highly recommended. Whether it is in a professional league or a school football match the best player will be fully present in the game.
CALM —
It’s obvious, the great ones know how to handle pressure; they stay cool, calm, and collected when others around them are freaking out. Imagine taking an exam or giving a work presentation in front of 80,000 people who are letting you know in no uncertain terms they want you to fail.
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HEALTH
Mindset is Everything
Mindset. Is. Everything. Burn that statement into your brain. Mindset should be considered the intangible X-factor that can strongly determine your competitive success or failure. The reality you perceive is always the end product of your mindset. But an overlooked aspect of mindset is this: your mindset is but a true reflection of who you are as a person. In other words, the personal qualities you possess and represent fully imbue your mental outlook. With that in mind, determining the best mindset for your game day or training is really about honing these key personal qualities. While everyone has a different personality, I have found there are five key mindset qualities common with nearly all-successful athletes: persistence, positive realism, humility, vulnerability and a lack of regret.
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PERSISTENCE
— Persistence is simply the quality of always continuing to move forward, to continue regardless of setbacks and to endure until the end.
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POSITIVE REALISM
— Being positive is an integral and intrinsic aspect of having the right mindset. But, it’s important to temper your positivity with some realism. No one is positive 100% of the time, but we can change our negative thoughts into positive actions. For every positive, there has to be a negative. So, positive realism is about trying to make the best of a bad situation or challenge, but tempering that with realistic assessment and action based on your circumstances.
VULNERABILITY
— A vulnerable person is one who is not afraid of failing or sharing those failures with others. They are not afraid of adopting an open-minded approach to training or trying new ideas. They recognise the need to change and evolve as they age or as their goals broaden, and they are willing to seek help to get the best out of themselves. While vulnerability is often seen as a sign of weakness, it is actually the opposite. Being vulnerable allows you to strengthen your resolve because we cannot grow truly strong until we acknowledge the areas where we are weak.
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NO REGRETS
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HUMILITY
— A humble person is one who is quietly confident in his mindset, yet is always realistic in assessing his or her strengths and weaknesses. A humble person does not under – or overestimate abilities. If you practice humility, you will become an internally motivated person. You will seek to achieve and improve yourself not for external validation, but to satisfy your own desire to keep growing as an athlete and a person. That is the essence of competitive fire.
— Regret is a powerful and destructive human emotion. When you are preparing and competing, you need to have the courage to honestly answer this question: “Am I satisfied that I did everything I was willing to do to achieve my goal?” Just like life, game days are not infinite and they’re certainly not warm ups. Make every opportunity count. Control the controllable. That is, do everything you are willing to do to achieve your goal right now.
CREATE YOUR OWN WARRIOR MINDSET
Write a short mission sentence on each quality listed here and how it integrates with you. Write your mission sentence on a document along with your motivational themes. Put this document somewhere prominent where you can see it and read it every day. For the next 28 days, live and breath your mindset and motivational themes document. Read it in the morning and before bed, talk about it with your confidants, and practice them during your training. -
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Inspire
“I wonder for one who does not seek knowledge” - Ibn al-Mubarak
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INSPIRE
Some of the Prophet Muhammad’s Manners & Characteristics
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GOOD MORALS, ETHICS AND COMPANIONSHIP The Prophet (pbuh) was a living example for all humans to follow. His wife A’ishah was asked about his manners, and she said, “His manners were the Qur’an.”
SOUND INTELLECT The Messenger (pbuh) had an excellent, complete and sound intellect. No man has ever had an intellect as complete and perfect as his.
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DOING THINGS FOR THE SAKE OF GOD The Prophet (pbuh) would always do deeds through which he would seek the pleasure of God. He was harmed and abused when he invited and called people to Islam; yet he was patient and endured all of this, and hoped for the reward of God.
POLITENESS AND GOOD MANNERS The Prophet (pbuh) showed good manners and was courteous to all, even to children.
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LOVE FOR REFORMATION AND RECONCILIATION Whenever a situation occurred which called for reconciliation, the Prophet (pbuh) would hurry to resolve it.
SINCERITY The Prophet (pbuh) was sincere and honest in all his matters, as God had ordered him.
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ORDERING WITH THE GOOD AND FORBIDDING EVIL If the Prophet (pbuh) saw an act which opposed a tenet of the religion, he would reprimand it in a suitable manner. Abu Saeed al-Khudri said: I heard the Messenger of Allah say: “Whoever of you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart…”
EXCELLING IN ACTS OF WORSHIP A’ishah said that the Prophet of God (pbuh) used to pray during the night until his feet would swell. She said, ‘Why do you do this, O Messenger of God, while God has forgiven your past and future sins?’ The Prophet (pbuh) replied:“Shall I not be a grateful slave (of God)?” (Bukhari #4557)
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LOVE OF PURIFICATION A companion passed by the Prophet (pbuh) while he was not in a state of purification. He greeted him with God’s name, but the Prophet (pbuh) did not return the greeting until he performed ablution and apologized saying: “I disliked that I should mention God’s name while I am not in a state of purity.” (Ibn Khuzaimah #206)
FORBEARANCE Once some companions came to the Prophet (pbuh) complaining about a tribe, namely the Daws, who refused to accept Islam, asking him to curse them. The Prophet (pbuh) raised his hands in prayer and instead said: “O Allah guide the tribe of Daws and bring them to Islam!”
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SAFEGUARDING AND MINDING ONE’S LANGUAGE The Messenger of God (pbuh) would busy himself with the remembrance of God; he would not talk in vain. He would lengthen his prayers and shorten the speech, and he would not hesitate to help and take care of the needs of a needy, poor or widow. (Ibn Hib’ban #6423)
GOOD APPEARANCE The companions knew the Prophet (pbuh) to be the most beautiful of people. One companion said: “The Prophet (pbuh) was a person of average height. His shoulders were wide. His hair reached his earlobes. Once I saw him adorned in a red garment; I never saw anything more beautiful than him.” (Bukhari #2358)
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ASCETICISM IN WORLDLY AFFAIRS There are many examples in the Prophet’s life which prove that he had no concern for the pleasures of this life. Abdullah b. Masood said: “The Messenger of God (pbuh) went to sleep on a mat. He stood up and he had marks on his side due to the mat that he had slept on. We said: ‘O Messenger of God, shall we not make [a proper] bedding for you?’ He said: ‘What do I have to do with this world? I am only like a wayfarer upon a mount that stopped to take shade and rest under a tree, and then leaves it behind and continues on the journey.”
KINDNESS AND COMPASSION The Prophet was the kindest of people, and this was also apparent in his treatment of infants.“The Messenger of God (pbuh) performed Salah (prayer) while he was carrying an infant girl named Umaamah, daughter of Abul-Aas. When he bowed, he put her on the ground, and when he stood up, he would carry her again.” (Bukhari #5650)
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SIMPLIFICATION AND EASE The Prophet (pbuh) always sought to make things easy for people. The Messenger of God (pbuh) said: “I start the prayer with the intention of lengthening it, but when I hear a child crying, I shorten the prayer, as I know its mother would suffer from his screams!” (Bukhari #677)
ALTRUISM Sahl b. Sa’d said: The Prophet (pbuh) had more care for those around him than for his own self.
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STRONG FAITH AND DEPENDENCE ON GOD Although the Prophet (pbuh) and his companions faced severe trials from the disbelievers, he always reminded them that the end was for the believers, and that the Will of God will come to pass.
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FEARING GOD, BEING MINDFUL TO NOT TRESPASS HIS LIMITS The Messenger of God (pbuh) said: “Sometimes, when I return to my family, I would find a datefruit on the bed. I would pick it up to eat it; but I would fear that it was from the charity, and thus, throw it back [on the ground].” (Bukhari #2300)
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SPENDING GENEROUSLY Jabir b. Abdullah said: ‘The Prophet pbuh did not refuse to give anything which he had to someone if he asked for it.’ (Bukhari #5687)
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COOPERATION The Prophet (pbuh) was not a king who commanded his followers to carry out his orders. Rather he always carried out his own affairs and helped others in collective duties. A’ishah was once asked about how the Prophet (pbuh) behaved with his family. She said: “He helped and assisted his family members with their chores; but when the call to prayer was heard, he would [stop everything and] leave to attend the prayers.”
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AGGRANDIZING THE LIMITS SET BY ALLAH, AND ALWAYS SEEKING THE MODERATE PATH A’ishah said: “The Prophet (pbuh) was not given a choice between two matters, except that he chose the easier of the two, as long as it was not a sinful act. If that act was a sinful act, he would be the farthest from it. By God! He never avenged himself. He only became angry when people transgressed the limits and boundaries of God; in that case he avenged [for the sake of God].” (Bukhari #6404)
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PLEASANT FACIAL EXPRESSION Abdullah bin al-Harith said: “I have never seen a man who smiled as much as the Messenger of God (pbuh).” (Tirmidthi #2641)
“Let us go to resolve the situation and make peace between them.” (Bukhari #2547)
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TRUTHFULNESS A’ISHAH SAID: “The trait and characteristic which the Prophet (pbuh) hated most was lying. A man would tell a lie in the presence of the Prophet (pbuh) and he would hold it against him, until he knew that he repented.” (Tirmidthi #1973) Even his enemies attested to his truthfulness. Abu Jahl, who was one of the harshest enemies of Islam, said: ‘O Muhammad! I do not say that you are a liar! I only deny what you brought and what you call people to.’
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HONESTY, TRUSTWORTHINESS AND RELIABILITY The Prophet (pbuh) was well known for his honesty. The pagans of Makkah - who were openly hostile towards him - would leave their valuables with him. His honesty and reliability was tested when the pagans of Makkah abused him and tortured his companions and drove them out of their homes. He ordered his cousin, Ali b. Abi Talib to postpone his migration for three days to return to people their valuables.22
INSPIRE
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MERCY AND COMPASSION Abu Masood al-Ansari said: “A man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said: ‘O Messenger of God! By God! I do not pray Fajr prayer because so and so lengthens the prayer.’ He said: ‘I have never seen the Messenger of God (pbuh) deliver a speech in such an angry state.’ He said: ‘O People! Verily there are among you those who chase people away! If you lead people in prayer, shorten the prayer. There are old and weak people and those with special needs behind you in prayer.’ “ (Bukhari #670)
BRAVERY AND COURAGE ALI SAID: “You should have seen him on the Day of Badr! We sought refuge with the Messenger of God (pbuh). He was the closest among us to the enemy. On that Day, the Messenger of God (pbuh) was the strongest one among us.” (Ahmed #654)
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PATIENCE AND FORBEARANCE Anas bin Malik said: “Once, I was walking with the Messenger of God (pbuh) while he was wearing a Yemeni cloak with a collar with rough edges. A Bedouin grabbed him strongly. I looked at the side of his neck and saw that the edge of the cloak left a mark on his neck. The Bedouin said, ‘O Muhammad! Give me [some] of the wealth of God that you have.’ The Messenger of God (pbuh) turned to the Bedouin, laughed and ordered that he be given [some money].”
BASHFULNESS AND MODESTY Abu Ayoub al-Ansari said that the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: “Four (traits) are from the practice of the Messengers; modesty, using perfume and siwak (tooth stick) and marriage.” (Tirmidthi)
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HUMBLENESS The Messenger of God (pbuh) was the most humble person. He was so humble that if a stranger were to enter the mosque and approach the Prophet’s sitting place while he was sitting with his Companions, one would not be able to distinguish him from his Companions.
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PATIENCE The Messenger of God (pbuh) was the epitome of patience. He was patient with his people before calling them to Islam; for they would worship idols and do sinful acts. He was patient and tolerant with the abuse and harm the pagans of Makkah inflicted on him and his Companions and sought the reward of God. He was also patient and tolerant with the abuse of the hypocrites in Madeenah.
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“Aren’t you pleased that they enjoy this world, and we will enjoy the Hereafter?”
JUSTICE AND FAIRNESS The Messenger of God (pbuh) was just and fair in every aspect of his life and in the application of the religion.
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FEARING GOD, AND BEING MINDFUL OF HIM The Messenger of God (pbuh) was the most mindful person of God. A’ishah said:‘If the Messenger of God (pbuh) saw dark clouds in the sky; he would pace forwards and backwards and would exit and enter his house. As soon as it rained, the Prophet (pbuh) would relax. A’ishah asked him about it, and he said: ‘I do not know, it may be as some people said:“Then, when they saw the (penalty in the shape of ) a cloud traversing the sky, coming to meet their valleys, they said: ‘This cloud will give us rain! Nay, it is the (calamity) you were asking to be hastened! A wind wherein is a Grievous Penalty!24” (46:24)
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RICHNESS AND CONTENTMENT OF THE HEART Umar b. al-Khattab said: ‘I entered the Messenger’s house and I found him sitting on a mat. He had a leather pillow stuffed with fibers. He had a pot of water by his feet, and there was some clothes hung on the wall. His side had marks due to the mat that he lay on. Umar wept when he saw this, and the Messenger (pbuh) asked him: ‘Why do you weep?’ Umar said: ‘O Prophet of God! Khosrau and Caesar enjoy the best of this world, and you are suffering in poverty?!’ He said: ‘Aren’t you pleased that they enjoy this world, and we will enjoy the Hereafter?’ (Bukhari #4629)
(Bukhari #4629)
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HOPING FOR GOODNESS, EVEN FOR HIS ENEMIES A’ishah said: ‘I asked the Messenger of God (pbuh): “Did you face a day harder and more intense than the Battle of Uhud?‛ He replied: ‘I suffered a lot from your people! The worst I suffered was on the Day of al-’Aqabah when I spoke to Ali b. Abd Yaleel b. Abd Kilaal (in order to support me) but he disappointed me and left me. I left the area while I was quite worried, and walked - when I reached an area called Qarn ath-Tha’alib, I raised my head to the sky and noticed a cloud that shaded me. Gabriel (pbuh) called me and said: ‘O Muhammad! God, the Exalted, has heard what your people have said to you - and has sent the Angel in charge of the mountains, so you can command him to do what you please.’ The Prophet (pbuh) said: ‘The Angel in charge of the mountains called me saying: ‘May God praise you and keep safe from all evil! O Muhammad, I will do whatever you command me to do. If you like I can bring the Akh-shabain mountains together and crush them all.’ The Messenger of God (pbuh) said: ‘It may be that God raises from among them a progeny who worship God alone and associate no partners with Him.’ (Bukhari #3059)
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INSPIRE
The Father Who Went to School - From the Ukraine
There once was a man who had four sons. He
lived to a great age and decided to divide his lands and money among them. He thought that he would pass his remaining days living with one or the other, enjoying his grandchildren and the company of his sons and their wives. The old man went to live with his eldest son first. In the beginning this son treated his father with respect and was good to the old man. Sadly though, as time went on, the son began to resent his father and often shouted at him and treated him badly. The old man no longer had his own room and his clothes went unwashed and unmended. He no longer had the best of food but had to settle for scraps from the table. No one talked to him; no one cared if he was well. The eldest son was sorry he had ever asked his father to come and stay with him. At last, the old man had no choice but to go and live with his second son. Sadly, he only exchanged wheat for straw. The wife of the second son always complained that they had so little and now they had to share it with an old man. Soon he moved on to the third son, but it was the same and soon he moved to the house of his youngest but nothing changed. So, as you can see, the old man moved from one house to another and each of his sons,
in turn, was eager to push the burden of the father onto the next brother. One brother had too many children, another too small a house, another was too poor, another was too busy, and none of them wanted the old man around. Too tired to argue, the father finally bowed his head and cried, telling them to do with him as they pleased. The four brothers met and tried to come up with a plan that would relieve them of their burden once and for all. Finally, one of them said, “Let’s send father to school. There will be a place on the bench and he can take something to eat in a sack. He’ll be out of our sight and out of our way all day long.” The others agreed but the old man was horrified. “My eyes are not what they used to be and you want me to try and read small little letters in a book? How can I learn now? Can’t I just live out my life in peace?” But the brothers were pleased with themselves and their ridiculous plan. The very next day they sent him off to school. As he walked through the forest he thought of the humiliation he would have to suffer as a student and how he wished his sons loved him better. While he was lost in thought, a carriage rolled by and the old man respectfully stepped aside. The carriage stopped and the nobleman inside asked the old man where he was going.
‘Fed and treated in a way that was fitting for a person of his position and age.’
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“To school,” said the old man. “To school, grandfather? You should be at home with your loved ones enjoying the fruits of all your years of labor.” The old man started to cry and told the lord his story. By the end of the story the lord also had tears in his eyes and felt compassion for the old man. “School is not the place for a man of your years or wisdom. Let me help you.” He took from his belt a silk purse, the kind that a rich man might carry. He poured something into it until it was nearly full and then placed it into a wooden box that he had on the floor of his carriage. “Take this box home with you and tell this story to your children.” The old man listened carefully, smiling and nodding at the nobleman’s words. When the kind man finished talking, the old man thanked him and walked back to his oldest son’s house. The other sons were still there and, when they saw him, they stared at the beautiful wooden box, wondering what its contents might be. Curious and a bit anxious, they told the old man to rest his weary legs. They brought food and drink and finally asked him what was in the box. The old man shared the story that the nobleman had instructed him to tell. “A long time ago, before any of you were born, I was young and took to the road to see a bit of this world. In my travels I made some money, a few gold coins here and some silver coins there. I thought that I would save this meager fortune for the future in case I needed it. I went into the forest, dug a hole, and buried it in this box. Afterwards, I was a prosperous farmer and had such good children that I never thought about the money again. But today, when you sent me to school, I was passing the old oak where it was buried and I dug it up. I have brought the treasure home with me and will keep it safe until
I am about to die. Whoever among you treats me with the most kindness and generosity, then that son and his family will inherit the box and all its contents. The old man paused, looking at his sons. “Which of you will be kind to your old father now?” As you may well imagine, the brothers and their wives nearly fell over each other as they begged him to come and live with them. And so, the father lived the rest of his years with his sons and their wives and their children. At each house he was well fed and treated in a way that was fitting for a person of his age. When their father died, they gave their father a magnificent funeral and invited all the neighbors to a feast in his honor. The sons paid for the priest to say prayers for him for forty days. When the feast was over the four sons brought out the box and prepared to open it while all the neighbors were watching. They had decided that since each of them had taken such good care of the old man in his last years then each one should have an equal share of the treasure. Upon opening the box, they found the rich silk purse. They shook it and it tinkled with the sound of their hoped-for reward. The eldest brother untied the purse and emptied the contents onto the table. Shocked, all four brothers could not believe their eyes. The silk purse held nothing but pieces of broken glass. Disappointed, embarrassed, and furious, the brothers began to shout and accuse each other of being fools. The neighbors all laughed at their anger and greed. “See what you get for sending your old father to school,” they said. “He was a long time in learning his lessons, but when he did he learned them well.” Laughing at the son’s foolishness, the neighbors all walked home and said a heartfelt prayer for a wise old man.
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LOVE IS by Jain Hopkins
Tend to myself Do not force myself, allow Allow the truth Allow the experience of now Do not decide what is to be Discover what is, in the moment Do not force it to be love It is cold and it is false Allow it to be what it is And in the allowing, love will grow Know even in the moment of not feeling love If what is, is allowed Love will grow Love is growing Love is
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INSPIRE
Al Asma Al Hosana The One who faithfully bestows the gifts of peace, safety and security. The One who grants freedom from fear. The One who illuminates the heart with faith. The One who is most trustworthy.
Al-Mumin The Remover of Fear The Giver of Tranquility The Source of Faith The One
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Does giving make us happier? by Dr Asma Naheed, Educational Psychologist, Special Needs Consultant and Public Speaker Mahatma Gandhi once said that “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” In 2016, a study of 4,500 American adults found that 41 per cent of Americans volunteered an average of 100 hours a year. Of those who volunteered, 68 per cent reported that it made them feel physically healthier; 89 per cent that it “has improved a sense of well-being” and 73 per cent said that it “lowered stress levels.” Stephen G. Post, author of The Hidden Gifts of Helping agrees. ‘If you help someone up the hill, you get closer yourself,’ he says. Whether the group is focused on weight loss, smoking cessation, substance abuse, alcoholism, mental illness and recovery, or countless other needs, a defining feature of the group is that people are deeply engaged in helping one another, and are in part motivated by an explicit interest in their own healing.” Researchers at the University of Exeter Medical School analysed data from 40 studies and found that volunteers had a 20 per cent lower risk of death than their peers who do not volunteer. The study also found that volunteers had lower levels of depression, increased life satisfaction and enhanced well-being. The 2016 study, The Neurobiology of Giving Versus Receiving Support suggests that giving social support and charity to others may
benefit the giver more than the receiver on a neurobiological level. The researchers used MRI brain imaging to pinpoint specific brain benefits of giving social support to others. Giving social support was associated with increased activity in a brain area that functions as part of the reward system during an “affiliative” task. These changes within the brain help to explain why altruism and giving support has multiple health benefits. All of this research shows that when you help others, you’re also helping yourself. The rewards of giving and receiving social support creates the ultimate win-win situation. When someone in need receives help, they benefit directly from the social support; simultaneously, the giver benefits in specific brain regions associated with stress, reward, and caregiving. “In a dog-eat-dog world, it’s reassuring to know that from an evolutionary perspective, our brains are wired to feel rewarded more for magnanimity and selflessness than for meanness and selfishness,” said the authors. As Bill Withers reminds us in his classic song, Lean on Me, there are times in each of our lives when we’ll need the help of others, and there are times that we’re in a position to offer social support. Ideally, the yin-yang of giving and receiving support balances itself throughout each of our lifespans.
“ If you help
someone up the hill, you get closer yourself ”
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This month I am.. .… Trying to solve..
Reading..
Listening to.. Letters To A Young Muslim by Omar Saif Ghobash In a series of personal letters to his sons, Omar Saif Ghobash offers a short and highly readable manifesto that tackles our current global crisis with the training of an experienced diplomat and the personal responsibility of a father. Today’s young Muslims will be tomorrow’s leaders, and yet too many are vulnerable to propaganda that seems omnipresent in our technological age. The burning question, Ghobash argues, is how moderate Muslims can unite to find a voice that is true to Islam while actively and productively engaging in the modern world.
Ted Talk: Love letters to strangers by Hannah Brencher Hannah Brencher knows the letter’s power. Her organisation, The World Needs More Love Letters, facilitates letter-writing between strangers. In this heartfelt talk, Brencher explains how she found this unique calling. When she found herself depressed, she did the only thing she could think of — she penned pages and left them in libraries and cafés where strangers could chance upon them. The idea snowballed into a global exchange – touches of humanity in a busy world.
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“Everyone’s a believer when things are going fine. The real faith is when one becomes patient with tribulations.” - Hamza Yusuf 74
“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment”