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Illustration: Clym Evenden
Practicing Gratitude Abundance and absence exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always a conscious choice which garden we will tend. When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but instead are grateful for the abundance that’s present – love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature and personal pursuits that bring us pleasure – the need and deprivation falls away and we experience joy. Expressing gratitude and appreciation for what is in your life is one of the quickest ways to bring more to appreciate into your life. Feelings of gratitude are just as powerful as the feelings and emotions of love. I wake up every morning to see the light of a new day and live a life of love and appreciation for the magic that constantly surrounds me. For the friends that sustain me, the family that loves me unconditionally, for my health and knowledge I seek. I cultivate the sense of gratitude by incorporating giving thanks into a personal morning ritual such as writing in a gratitude journal, repeating an affirmation or sending a positive quote to my loved ones. It is a very simple but energising practice for me that helps me establish a daily routine. I enjoy combining the wellness benefits of a quick mindfulness meditation with jump-starting my attitude of gratitude. Research has linked gratitude to better physical and mental health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, healthier marriages, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others. And then, there’s the application to athletics: Sport psychology studies have shown that grateful young athletes are more satisfied with their teams, less likely to
burn out and enjoy better well-being overall. In April 2017, I started a Sports group named “Awakening”. We gather daily in the morning at beach or park for multiple sports activities like yoga, running, hiking, meditation, aerobics, cycling and kayaking. It’s a community service and we invite people to join and have great jump start of the day. I started it with three friends and now we have a whole team of positive energetic people and many are in line to join us. Our mantra is spreading positivity and the conscious awakening of wellbeing. April 15th, 2018 was the first anniversary of my initiative and I saw this as an opportunity to express my gratitude towards team building and support. It is gratitude of my muscles and my emotions seeing healthy benefits physically, emotionally, mentally and socially. It’s a gratitude for social bonding, care, love, mindfulness, enrichment and energy. When making changes in your life, the most powerful change is the way you look at life. The secret to getting more out of life is to showing appreciation and gratitude for blessings that we already have. To change my life, I make a conscious effort to change my perspective. Abundance surrounds us in many ways, regardless of the situation there are many things which can gratify us. My daily routine of gratitude enthuses and energises me. I am more determined to achieve my goals. My confidence and level of optimism soar. Being optimistic fuels my passion to construct the life I deserve. My attention level increases and stress level drops and every morning is a new start for me. This is my path to success, will it be yours?
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CONTENTS 1 WORK
2 SELF
3 HEALTH
4 INSPIRE
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The Positive Power of Generosity Why being generous can actually help us to live longer and better lives
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Giving back Writer Ekaterina Walter on why your professional network should benefit from your generosity
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The Greatest Gifts Helping others doesn’t have to be a big step, here, Carl Phillips offers five small but powerful ways we can improve the lives of others – and ourselves
Playing for Change Sport’s teams making a difference
Happy Brain How even small acts of generous behaviour can make your brain happier
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The Art of Blessing Your Food Nick Polizzi on why offering thanks for the bounty and abundance that feeds and nourishes our bodies still has a place today
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Time of Abundance The secret to having it all is believing you already do. How to turn your mindset to a world of limitless possibility
Why giving makes you happier
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Story of Wisdom
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Al-Mu`ti” – The Giver
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Learning to Give Dr Asma Naheed on the benefits of philanthropy
The Five Traits of Abundant People How to avoid a scarcity mindset
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Work
‘‘Giving is the master key to success, in all applications of human life.” ~Bryant McGill
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WORK
The Positive Power of Generosity Being generous can actually help you live longer and better lives, says Dr Lisa Firestone
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hat we are thankful for is important, but what we give others to be thankful for is even more important. Generosity isn’t really the selfless act we’ve long thought it to be. Studies now show that one of the biggest benefactors of generosity, is the person who is dishing it out. In fact, new research goes so far as to say that – like a healthy diet, exercise and good genes – generosity can actually increase your life span. We now know that generosity reduces stress, supports the immune system and enhances a sense of purpose. In 2003, a research study at the University of Michigan revealed that the positive effects of generosity include an improvement in mental and physical health and promoting life longevity. In another Michigan study, which traced 2,700 people over 10 years, researchers found that men who did regular volunteer work had death rates two-and-one half times lower than men who didn’t.
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WORK
‘‘Like a healthy diet, exercise and good genes – generosity can actually increase your life span”
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MAKING CONNECTIONS
A POSITIVE FORCE So, what is it about generosity that makes it so vital to a happy and healthy life? Firstly, it’s important to note, that when we talk about generosity, we aren’t measuring it in dollars, or something physical or tangible. What matters is the sensitivity we offer another person – and the more directly we see our personal efforts impact someone else, the more we gain from the experience of giving. The second direct benefit we gain from giving, is that generosity inherently shifts our focus away from ourselves. While self-awareness and sensitivity to oneself is important, all too often the focus we put on ourselves is filtered through a negative lens. Many of our thoughts about ourselves are tinged with criticism, stress, doubt, uncertainty and obsession, none of which do any good for our confidence or feelings of success. Generosity distracts us from the scathing insults of this inner voice, while creating quite a strong argument against it. It is difficult to prove we are worthless when we are watching someone else benefit from our actions. Generosity is a natural confidence builder and a natural repellent of selfhatred. Not only does it make us feel better about ourselves, but it actively combats feelings of isolation and depression. People who battle depression have been shown to benefit from volunteering, as it gives them a sense of value and purpose, while placing them in a social environment.
A friend was devastated by a break-up with his girlfriend of many years. Lacking a sense of security, he plummeted into depression, making him lethargic and demoralised. Setting his pain aside, he decided to spend some time volunteering at a senior centre, and within weeks he saw an improvement in his mood and sense of self-worth. He spent a few hours a week reading aloud to people living in the senior centre, and from this he began to rebuild his social network, as he made friends with staff members and fellow volunteers. Little by little and piece by piece, he was able to get his whole life together and regain his sense of happiness and fulfilment. The social networks that are forged through living a generous life are vast, rich and often have a deeper meaning to us. In being generous, the sensitivity that we feel toward another person allows us to be more sensitive to ourselves too. A study of children found that, when kids were offered praise without doing anything to warrant it, their self-esteem was unaffected. Conversely, when kids were praised for actual acts, such as generosity, their self-esteem was enhanced. The same principle holds true for all of us. Being built up with compliments has little effect on our self-worth, whereas the gratification of being generous enhances our sense of self. Furthermore, when we are in a giving state, we are more relaxed, attuned and living in the moment. This state of being is contagious; people who are generous often create a snowball effect in others who in turn want to pay it forward. Though consciously we may fail to see a downside to living an altruistic life, and we readily applaud acts of generosity in others, many of us fail to embrace generosity’s fundamental second step: allowing others to be generous to us. Those of us who have been taught to give without asking for anything in return, feel ashamed or embarrassed at being given a hand. However, accepting generosity is an important part of allowing ourselves to experience the many benefits of leading a giving life. It’s truly the give and take that brings us our greatest sense of joy. This article previously appeared in psychologytoday.com
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WORK
Giving Back
Your professional network is a vital part of your life in business, but don’t forget to ensure they share in your successes too‌ says Ekaterina Walter
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G
enerosity in business is a practice not to be underestimated. As you grow and develop a sound business network, the more you can do for the people in it, the stronger that network will become. It’s not just about keeping in touch, it’s about touching people in a real way too. “Success is about infusing humanity and generosity into any relationship you build, personal or professional,” says Ekaterina Walter. Crucially, generosity with your professional network is about seeing a need and working out how you can meet it. People don’t just want you to be generous with your money, they want you to be generous with your time, with your expertise and with your connections. There are hundreds of ways you can give back to get more out of your professional network – from helping edit someone’s CV or advising a colleague’s daughter about an upcoming interview, to introducing a business-owner and investor who have a common goal or helping someone write, or code, some of their website. These are the things that are actually
making business grow every day. “Multi-million dollar companies are being built because someone cared enough to generously introduce key partners or investors to each other. Small start-ups grow into multi-billion dollar businesses because employees generously care about customers and even go an extra mile for them, and, by doing so, build longlasting advocacy for the brand,” says Walter. These are all things that are about kindness, warmth, thoughtfulness and sincerity – traits that are traditionally less celebrated in the business arena but becoming more and more important as our world evolves. Since we’ve mastered industrialisation, automation, technology and remote-working, the business world has increasingly been a cold, bland space, where emotion and humanity are not celebrated. But this is starting to change, and businesses are increasingly seeing the benefits of rewarding loyalty, of being open with their clients and being generous with customers. Business is changing, so, how will being generous in this way help you?
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WORK
Connections
Reputation We all know how important your reputation is in business – your name and what it stands for is the first thing people often discover about you. In this day and age, people talk, more than they ever did before. Make sure that when they’re talking about you, they are saying positive things. Being known for being generous within your network is a really important thing – lots of people might stand out for their skillset or experience, but if you have a reputation for also being someone who gives that bit more it will help to set you apart. Equally, simply being generous and thoughtful ensures people think kindly of you, and when asked about you or pressed to recommend someone, your network will think of you first.
Being generous is a fantastic way to grow your network, ensuring introductions have more weight to them than a simple meeting of two minds. Being introduced as someone who helped a contact out in the past is a strong position to start from. It positions you as a key part of your network, as someone trustworthy and with integrity – it’s one of those occasions when your actions really speak louder than your words. You’ll also find that the more you help people out, the more you’ll get to know them and their network. Having a reason to get in touch with someone, besides for a timely ‘checking in’, allows for a more organic and natural conversation. Getting to know people while helping them through a time of hardship ensures a solid bond.
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Digital Generosity
Empowerment “Generosity has a lot to do with confidence,” says Susan Credle, chief creative officer of ad agency Leo Burnett, speaking to The New York Times in 2012. “If you’re confident in who you are, you will be generous. If you’re scared, if you’re nervous, if you think you’re a fraud, you won’t be generous.” Being someone who gives of their time, resources, expertise or information ensures you have a certain upper hand within your network, seen as someone in a good position who has positive things to offer, and does so. It will also mean you become part of a bigger cycle of reciprocal generosity, something that can often see you move quickly up the career ladder as one good turn indeed leads to another and so on.
For many businesses or individuals your online presence is key. If you can be generous without being obsequious with your online network, it will in turn ensure people are generous with your content too. This means taking the time to retweet comments or links, answering online forum questions or comments below a post, responding promptly to emails, forwarding leads on, sharing great news with your followers and celebrating people’s good news publicly. Doing this will also put you and your online presence in front of a vast network of potential business partners, clients and customers, and it’s always in a positive light.
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Self
“Gratitude magnifies our happiness and adds more depth to the connection.� ~HH Alreem Altenaiji
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SELF
The Greatest Gifts We often lose sight of the small steps we can make to improve the lives of those around us, but there are some simple ways to make a difference to those you love, says Carl Phillips
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1 THE GIFT OF YOUR ATTENTION “The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.” Thích Nhat Hanh
In an age where distraction is the default attraction, it’s easy for us to lose sight of the gift that we give to others when we give them our full attention. Giving our full attention means listening. It means putting our smartphones down, looking someone else in the eye, asking questions - and waiting for the answers. Paying full attention requires us to be present in this moment. It means focusing on the here and now, without our minds wandering into the future. It means making a real connection. Give the gift of your full attention to others around you and allow them the time they deserve.
2 THE GIFT OF KINDNESS “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” Mark Twain
A little well-placed thoughtfulness and kindness can really have a positive impact on people around us – and it doesn’t always have to mean grand, sweeping gestures. Small acts of kindness soon add up - help a neighbour with their shopping; walk a friend’s dog; cut someone’s lawn; house sit for someone. There are many ways we can offer the gift of our kindness and the most important part of it, is not expecting anything in return except the warm feeling we get from knowing we are doing something good for someone else.
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SELF
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THE GIFT OF TIME “Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time. It is not enough to just say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them.”
THE GIFT OF NO JUDGMENT “When we are judging everything, we are learning nothing.”
Rick Warren
In a world where busy is the norm, giving others some of our time can make a real difference. We can do this by taking our commitments seriously. By booking in time with friends and keeping that time free for those friends. By making time to stop and chat for a while with a neighbour. By taking time out, disconnected from the online world, to spend undistracted with a loved one.
Steve Maraboli
We are all human and sometimes we make mistakes in life. In such times it can help us all if we can talk to someone that will listen without making judgments on us. Good friends will do this, but we can also extend this gift to others and ensure that someone in need finds a safe place, free from judgement to share their pain, understand their mistakes and find a way forward.
5 THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia
A well-timed and earnest compliment can have an immediate and positive impact on the recipient. It shows we have noticed something positive in others. This compliment could be related to the physical - a new hairstyle perhaps; or be behaviour-based – perhaps you mention how well they presented at a company meeting. Either way, we all like to hear a compliment every now and again. Nearly everyone responds better to praise than criticism and the simple effect of taking a small moment to acknowledge someone’s achievements, however small, can have a dramatic impact.
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SELF
Time of Abundance The secret to having it all is believing you already do. Make sure your mindset is tuned to a world of limitless possibility, says Emma Johnson
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e can see the world in two ways, as somewhere limitless and possible or as somewhere limited and impossible. Your mind can be abundant or it can be limited. How you see wealth, love, family, work, relationships and the future can all be shifted based on the mindset in which you consider these things. First coined in 1989 by Stephen Covey, the term abundance mindset describes people who live full, generous lives. It is a concept designed to open up a world of possibility and opportunity, where even failure can be seen as a success. Crucially, an abundance mindset allows us to be generous and open individuals, not coveting others or hiding our wealth from others, but sharing in their happiness and sharing our own too. Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People defined a concept where a person believes there are enough resources and successes in the world to share them with others. They are people who focus on the long-term view and when they fail, the bounce back and look for the new opportunity presented the setback. Crucially, an abundance mindset has at its heart generosity, because the alternative is to wish bad things for other people and to not want to share your success with them. “We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing – that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. … There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me,” says Covey. Covey contrasts his descriptions of an abundant mindset with a scarcity mindset, which is defined by a life not lived to the full but dominated by fear and limitations. People with a scarcity mindset don’t take responsibility for their own lives, are often short-sighted in their views of the world and complain about not having enough of anything money, time, resources, love, energy. They live with and are governed by limiting beliefs that stifle them and ensure they never grow or succeed fully. Clearly a scarcity mindset is a mentality that will keep you from achieving your potential, while an abundance mindset is truly empowering. Most importantly, it is about sharing and generosity. “The Abundance Mentality flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for all. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity” says Covey.
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SELF
The Five Traits of Abundant People
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THINK BIG, NOT SMALL This means big goals, big ideas, big dreams, big hearts. Embrace change, don’t fear it, see the opportunities and new ways of doing things that come with change, be open to change and welcome it when it comes.
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PROACTIVE NOT REACTIVE Make plans, look to the future, don’t wait for things to happen and then make excuses when they don’t. Only concern yourself with what you are able to control and change. Abundant people consciously create their realities and are in charge of their own lives.
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NO COMPARISONS Be an optimist and be happy for others when they achieve success. Keep focused on your own journey and take action to improve you own life in line with the goals and dreams you have set. Focus on your personal growth and development, and no-one else’s. In turn, surround yourself with people who don’t invite comparisons and whose own abundant mindset ensures they can share and delight in your successes, as you do in theirs.
LAND OF PLENTY, NOT LACK See the world as having enough in it for everyone, so you can be generous with what you have because there will always be more of it. Live with the optimistic belief that your desires will be satisfied. Nothing stands in the way of success, and opportunities and experiences are out there for the taking. Know in your heart that negative events, pain or sadness are temporary and, crucially, can be overcome.
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HOW TO AVOID SCARCITY MINDSET Remember previous times when you had an abundance Face the reality of living within your means
FAILURE IS A SUCCESS An abundance mentality craves learning and growth, and failures are often the best places for this to happen. When things are going wrong, try to look at what is working, not what isn’t working. Know that failure can be a stepping-stone to greater knowledge and success, and see yourself as always chasing these opportunities for growth.
Don’t coast through life, seize the day Practice gratitude every day Surround yourself with people who also have an abundance mentality
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Health
“It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving” ~ Mother Teresa
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HEALTH
Playing for Change For some, a game of pick-up basketball after work or a quick run before dinner is simply a fun way to get exercise. But for some charities, sports can change lives and provide hope, says Kellie Davis Sports aren’t just good for the body, they can also have a wide-ranging and far-reaching impact on communities. Well-targeted sports programs promote social inclusion, have a positive impact on crime prevention, instil leadership skills and promote awareness of disease prevention. Studies also show that exercise can improve the quality of life and promote rehabilitation and healing for individuals with intellectual and physical challenges. There are numerous organisations who have found a way to ensure the whole community benefits from their activities, and this is our pick of the most influential. These are charities and groups who have brought not only physical activity, but friendship, teamwork, camaraderie and a sense of purpose, to those who may not otherwise have had the opportunity to play.
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HEALTH
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CHALLENGED ATHLETES Who it helps: Athletes with physical challenges who do not have access to adaptive sports. How it helps: This organisation offers a series of different programs tailored to specific causes. Access for Athletes provides specialist sports equipment, such as hand-cycles and mono skis, ensuring physically-challenged competitive and recreational athletes aren’t forced to sit out from activity because they cannot afford special equipment. Operation Rebound offers athletic opportunities for wounded service men and women. Catch a Rising Star is a mentoring and post-rehab support program for those who have suffered traumatic injuries. Reach High is an information and resource service that helps those who are physically challenged make informed medical and health decisions. What you can do: Organise fundraisers or volunteer your time within the organisation. It also accepts donations and corporate sponsorships.
Nike recently teamed up with CAF athlete Sarah Reinertsen to develop a shoe for athletes with prosthetic limbs - Nike Sole is a lightweight composite outsole that slides onto Nike’s Flex-Run Foot. challengedathletes.org
GLOBAL SPORTS FOUNDATION Who it helps: Underfunded youth sports leagues, as well as families of those with serious illnesses. How it helps: This charity donates new and gentlyused sports equipment to organisations that have a tough time acquiring it. The Foundation also helps families who face financial stress due to illnesses, such as ALS and cancer. These families receive funds to relieve the burden of medical bills and other expenses incurred during treatment. What you can do: The Foundation accepts donated equipment, funds, corporate sponsorship and volunteers.globalsportsfoundation.org
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INSPIRE RIGHT TO PLAY
BALL FOR ALL
Who it helps: Children across the globe who face hardship and challenges the effects of poverty, conflict and disease in disadvantaged communities. How it helps: This is a global organisation that uses play and exercise to educate and empower children who face adversity. It helps children build essential life skills and improve their chance for a better future. It has received recognition from the UN for its successful programs in Palestinian refugee camps along the West Bank and Gaza Strip, designed to build youth leadership and raise awareness of childrens’ right to improve their health. Wilfried Lemke, a UN Special Advisor for Sports for Development and Peace, visited Palestine and thanked Right to Play for their work, extending his support throughout Palestinian territories. He saw how the children involved in Right to Play activities were building crucial life skills and would serve as catalysts for healthier, more peaceful communities in the future. What you can do: Donate money, volunteer, or launch your own official fundraiser to support Right to Play. righttoplay.com
Who it helps: Children in Africa who don’t have access to sports. How it helps: The Ball for All program encourages Peace Corp volunteers living in African communities to start sports teams for children, especially for girls who might not have access. Ball for All not only provides an opportunity for children to get active, but also encourages them to develop leadership skills. What you can do: Organise a fundraiser or equipment drive, donate through eBay, or sponsor a team. The idea for this organisation began when Peace Corp volunteer Brad Kramer purchased a $2 ball for a group of boys who tried to play soccer after their daily chores with a ball made of tattered plastic bags and grass. The boys used the substitute ball for two years until it finally fell to pieces.
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balltoall.org
‘Peace Corp volunteer Brad Kramer purchased a $2 ball for a group of boys who tried to play soccer after their daily chores with a ball made of tattered plastic bags and grass’
PEACEPLAYERS INTERNATIONAL
FRESH AIR FUND
Who it helps: At-risk children in countries facing conflict and civil war across the world. How it helps: PeacePlayers provides programs such classroom-based education that offer formal peace and leadership education taught through the game of basketball. The on-court curriculum teaches youth how to handle disputes by using sport as a proxy for conflict. It has projects in South Africa, Northern Ireland, Cyprus and Israel and the West Bank. What you can do: PeacePlayers accepts donations, volunteers, sponsorships, and corporate partners. peaceplayers.org
Who it helps: New York City children with families who face financial hardship. How it helps: This program gives NYC children the joy of summer vacation with volunteer host families and camps. Children are given the opportunity to leave the inner city and spend a summer doing outdoors activities. What you can do: The Fund accepts volunteers at its New York City office. Outside of New York, people can become a host family, or donate to the cause.
‘The Fresh Air Fund began in 1877 when Reverend Willard Parsons of Sherman, PA, asked his congregation to host families and children from New York City tenements as a kind of vacation and rehabilitation’
This article previously appeared on greatist.com
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HEALTH
The Art of Blessing Your Food
Offering thanks for the bounty and abundance that feeds and nourishes our bodies is an ancient practice that still has a place in modern day, says Nick Polizzi For millennia, we humans have had our most important conversations, forged our strongest, alliances, and made our biggest decisions at the same location - the dinner table. In every corner of the globe, family traditions have been passed down through recipes, ceremonial serving items (Grandma Pearl’s set of fine china or Uncle Hazzba’s afterdinner hookah), and stories shared over meals. The sacred before-meal prayer, in the many forms it takes across cultures, has been a grounding reminder for even the smallest family members about the importance of being grateful for what we have. Sadly, I see these rituals becoming less common in our busy modern lives. Families gather around the television instead of the hearth, individuals interact with their devices instead of each other, or food is grabbed from a package while on the run. Meanwhile, many are longing for more connection to each other, to the Earth, and to spirit.
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Cooking & Community The conscious preparation and sharing of food as a sacred ritual is a powerful binding force for families and communities. When we lovingly prepare food together, and serve it with gratitude, we receive more than just physical nourishment. The secret ingredient in every tenderly prepared dish around the world is the same: love. Growing up in my own family, my grandfather Nick (my namesake) was a keeper of his family’s cooking tradition, and instilled in me a deep reverence for food and all of its delicious magic. Grandpa Nick grew up as a baker’s son in Brooklyn. He learned from his parents how to make a hundred different traditional Italian/Sicilian dishes, including the best bread you’ve ever eaten. I used to get tingles up my spine just watching him prepare the homemade manicotti, the white bean and escarole soup, and the pulpita salad with fresh octopus. He’d lick his upper lip — an indicator that he was really concentrating on a difficult manoeuvre, while tucking the semolina dough under a delicately positioned ravioli. Each moment in the kitchen felt so rich, so tranquil, so filled with intention, meaning, and joy. The way life should be.
‘When we lovingly prepare food together, and serve it with gratitude, we receive more than just physical nourishment’
Family Traditions The man said the most powerful grace I’ve ever heard. Lucid, devotional, inspirational, humble, vulnerable – an entranced conversation with God. If you were in our family, you knew the drill, and if you were a newcomer you learned it quick. Once the food was laid out and everyone was seated, my grandfather would look around the table and make gentle eye contact with everyone. Then he’d reach for the hand of the person seated to his right and left, prompting them to do the same, until the circle was complete and connected. He would close his eyes, bow his head, and in a fast, rhythmic cadence, pray to God to bless the food, shed his light and love on everyone at the table, and then thank him over and over again for all that he had given us. This wasn’t for show; it was a communication. When he was complete, he’d open his eyes, lift his head, and with a sweet smile on his face say, “Are you ready eat?” And then we’d all dig in. I am doing my best to follow my grandfather’s example. In my own family, we have a “no devices at the dinner table” rule. We may not make everything we eat from scratch, but we do take the time to ponder the origin of our food and bless our meals for the sustenance they provide our body, mind, and spirit. Mealtime is a time for us to be fully present with one another, setting aside the hustle and bustle of the day.
Everyone in my family knew their way around the kitchen, but Grandpa Nick’s cooking was the stuff of legend. His food bedazzled the taste buds of many of my friends, but the greatest impact he made on us came before we even lifted our forks to our mouths.
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THREE BLESSINGS TO INSPIRE YOU
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A UNITARIAN BLESSING
FROM THE NATIVE AMERICAN IROQUOIS TRADITION
Blessed be the Earth for giving birth to this food Blessed be the Sun for nourishing it Blessed be the Wind for carrying its seed Blessed be the Rain for quenching its thirst. Blessed be the hands that helped to grow this food, To bring it to our tables To nourish our minds, bodies, and spirits. Blessed be our friends, our families, and our loved ones. Blessed Be.
We return thanks to the corn, and to her sisters, the beans and squashes, which give us life. We return thanks to the bushes and trees, which provide us with fruit. We return thanks to the Great Spirit, in who is embodied all goodness, and who directs all things for the good of his children.
3 MEAL PRAYER
(adapted from Buddhist Teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh) May the food we are eating make us aware of the interconnections between Universe and us, Earth and us, and all other living species and us. Because each bite contains in itself the life of Sun and Earth. May we see the meaning and value of life from these precious morsels of food.
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Inspire
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.� ~ Lao Tzu
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INSPIRE
Happy Brain
A new study finds that even small acts of generous behaviour can make your brain happier, says Chris Bergland
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e all believe that being kinder and more generous makes us happier, but now, it has been scientifically proven. New research by University of Zurich (UZH), using advanced brain imaging, has found that small acts of generous behaviour actually cause the brain of the person giving to light-up with a ‘warm glow’; while the brains of those who instead act solely out of self-interest do not emit this same light-up effect. Civil society benefits when all of us are cooperative
and generous in some way. From an evolutionary perspective, a 2016 Canadian study, (Altruism Predicts Mating Success in Humans) found that we are hardwired to be attracted to generosity and turned off by selfishness and greed. Generous behaviour appears to be a magnet that attracts potential mates to one another, like moths to a flame. Additionally, previous research has shown that participants who spent money on others, reported higher levels of happiness compared to those who only spent money on themselves.
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Getting Technical
Motivating Factors What previous studies have failed to show however, is what motivates this generous behaviour, and what happens in our brains when we do it. The UZH study is interesting because, using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), scientists have designed an experiment that can illuminate how small acts of generosity light up the brain. Until this study, human neuroimaging studies haven’t investigated brain areas associated with generous behaviour and happiness simultaneously. The UZH research team were specifically interested in identifying what degree of generosity was necessary to light up someone’s brain. Before the experiment began, some participants were asked to verbally commit to be generous with others. As part of the game, this group was also asked to accept slightly higher costs in order to do something nice for someone else. The control group was given instructions to self-deal and behave generously only towards themselves and to be stingy with everybody else. Then, all study participants were given a “slush fund” of money that they could spend on someone else or spend on themselves.
‘‘Small acts of generosity create the ultimate win-win by making someone else’s day a little bit brighter and giving your brain a warm glow too.’’
As the participants acted, the researchers were able to pinpoint specific brain areas that lit up during times of generosity. Altruism and overcoming egocentricity bias have previously been correlated with functional activity and structural properties of the temporoparietal junction (TPJ). As would be expected, the TPJ lit up when people displayed prosocial behaviors and generosity by giving to others during the game. Reward-related brain areas such as the ventral striatum and the orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) are correlated with feeling good and also lit up when someone was being generous. Across the board, those who displayed generosity towards others showed activity in brain areas associated with happiness and feeling rewarded. On the flip side, those who kept all of the money for themselves showed significantly less neural activity in these brain areas and did not emit a warm glow. One of the most surprising aspects of this study is that the amount of generosity did not correlate directly with the degree of someone’s happiness or contentment. Very small amounts of generous behaviour could elicit the warm glow of feeling happy. “You don’t need to become a self-sacrificing martyr to feel happier. Just being a little more generous will suffice,” lead scientist Philippe Tobler said. Interestingly, the researchers also found that simply making a verbal commitment to behave more generously in the future activated altruistic areas of the brain and intensified the warm glow within brain areas associated with positive emotions. Tobler commented on this aspect of the study: “It is remarkable that intent alone generates a neural change before the action is actually implemented. Promising to behave generously could be used as a strategy to reinforce the desired behaviour, on the one hand, and to feel happier, on the other.” Undoubtedly, most of us know from first-hand experience that doing something kind-hearted or generous for someone else gives you a “warm fuzzy” feeling that the researchers observed. Nevertheless, it’s nice to have empirical evidence that reminds us all that even minuscule amounts of day-to-day generosity can trigger neurobiological changes in your brain that are clinically proven to increase happiness and contentment.
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Why giving makes you happier
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$804.42 HOW MUCH THE AVERAGE PERSON WILL SPEND ON HOLIDAY GIFTS THIS YEAR
PARENTS, LISTEN UP! THE MORE YOU GIVE YOUR KIDS TODAY, THE MORE SUPPORTIVE THEY’RE LIKELY TO BE AS YOU AGE. (THIS DOESN’T MEAN SPOLING THEM ROTTEN! SPENDING MORE TIME WITH THEM IS WHAT THEY REALLY WANT …AT LEAST DEEP DOWN.)
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$335.17 BILLION TOTAL GIVING TO CHARITABLE ORGANIZATIONS IN THE US IN 2013
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IT’S STILL BETTER TO PICK A GOOD GIFT THAN A MEDIOCRE ONE! MEN IN LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIPS ARE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE LIKELY TO SAY THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WILL CONTINE AFTER LEARNING THAT THEIR GIRLFRIENDS HAVE SELECTED A DESIRABLE GIFT FOR THEM. SPEND ON THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU BEGRUDGINGLY BUYING YOUR BOSS A GIFT WON’T GIVE YOU AS BIG OF A HAPPINESS BOOST AS PICKING SOMETHING UP FOR YOUR BESTIE. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT WE DERIVE MORE HAPPINESS FROM SPENDING MONEY ON PEOPLE WITH WHOM WE HAVE STRONG TIES THAN ON THOSE WE DON’T.
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IF YOU STILL WANT TO WRAP A PRESENT, CONSIDER GIVING A GIFT CARD: THAT’S WHAT 62% OF PEOPLE SURVEYED SAY THEY MOST WANT TO RECEIVE. YOU STILL DON’T NEED TO CHOOSE JUST ONE… PICK UP A FEW $5 OR $10 CARDS TO DIFFERENT RETAILERS INSTEAD OF ONE $ 20 GIFT CARD. WHY? FREQUENT, SMALL PLEASURES TEND TO MAKE US HAPPIER SINCE WE DON’T ADAPT TO THEM AND BECOME BORED AS QUICKLY.
$5 $10
0 2 $
Facts courtesy of happify.com
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- STORY OF WISDOM -
The View
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wo men, both aged and seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their old jobs, their experiences in World War II, and all kinds of other things. One man managed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon where he could look out the room’s only window, and every time he did, he would describe to his roommate all the things he could see. He told of a park with a lovely lake. Ducks swam on the water while children sailed their model boats. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man couldn’t hear the band, he could imagine it as the man by the window described it. Finally, after many weeks, the man by the window died. The other man asked the nurse to be moved next to the window so he could see the view. The nurse was happy to make the switch, but when he was finally able to look out the window, he found that it faced the blank, brick wall of the building across the street! The man asked the nurse how the man was able to describe such wonderful things outside the window. She said: ‘Maybe he just wanted to make you happy’. There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Happiness when shared is doubled. Count your blessings. Today is a gift; that’s why it is called the present.
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Al-Mu`ti” (The Giver) God is “The Giver – The Preventer”, Who prohibits in order to give, takes in order to give and lowers in order to raise
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Learning to Give
by Dr Asma Naheed, Educational Psychologist, Special Needs Consultant and Public Speaker
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been recorded as one of the most rewarding parts of building communities and creating economic wellbeing. More importantly, these charitable acts of kindness spread very quickly, one simple act of caring can create an endless ripple effect. Psychologists and fundraising experts have been able to help charities develop practical ideas they can use for fundraising. They often delve into the relationship between charitable giving and altruism, specifically empathy-induced altruism as a motive hilanthropy is a Greek term, which means for giving. There are many studies that show that, after a ‘love of mankind’. It can be an idea, event, or action that is done to better humanity and certain level, more income doesn’t increase our usually involves some sacrifice as opposed to being well-being. That marginal dollar, given away, makes us happier than if we were to spend it done for a profit motive. Research shows us that it’s not At every stage of our species’ development, ‘giving’ on ourselves. has been with us. Whether one sees this phenomena necessarily that happy people give but rather, that as evolutionary or spiritual, the fact remains that giving makes us happy. In modern society, Philanthropy plays a key giving in all its forms has been one of the greatest factors in the success of humanity and spans all role in advancement of science, different layers the domains of ‘human’ assets; the intellectual of public education, building new professionals, business, pharmaceuticals, bio (knowledge, experience, emotion and insight), economic (wealth ‘We know that people feel medical research, technology, policy and advocacy. in all its forms), cultural (arts and good when they help other Philanthropy awareness language), social (time, group people. It doesn’t matter should be an integral part structures) and even biological. Acts of philanthropy include whether they give money, of parenting and elementary education. Teaching children donating money to a charity, time, or advice — it’s the about charity can be rewarding volunteering at a local shelter, giving that counts’ for both parents and the raising money for research or even children. Learning about giving just advising with sincerity. We know that people feel good when they help other and helping others gives children a feeling of people. It doesn’t matter whether they give money, empowerment in an uncertain world where time, or advice — it’s the giving that counts. Brain unexpected and frightening events happen. A great way to reinforce charitable values is to scans using MRI show the act of giving releases dopamine — a powerful neurotransmitter — into the make giving a family activity. Encourage everyone in body of the donor. Dopamine controls the brain’s your household to participate in volunteer activities, pleasure and reward centers. Giving literally makes and praise your children when they show generosity, empathy to others. They will grow up with a healthy you feel good. In a study, people were asked to purchase a sense of compassion and a strong charitable spirit. ‘goody bag’ (filled with treats like chocolates) either for themselves or for a child in hospital whom they would never meet. Those who bought the goody bag for a sick child experienced significantly more positive emotions than people who bought the bag for themselves suggesting that giving to others is sweet treat in itself. A philanthropist is therefore anyone who gives anything; time, money, experience, skills, and networks in any amount, to create a better world. Famous philanthropists include Mother Theresa, Bill Gates, Abdul Sitar Edhi, Warren Buffett and Michael Bloomberg. We have a duty to give something back to society. Philanthropic projects have consistently
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This month I am.. .… Trying to solve..
Reading..
The life you can save by Peter Singer
Listening to..
The opposite of a self-help book this is a practical ‘help-others’ book that asks to the reader to consider the effects of extreme global poverty and how we can all do our part to eliminate this plight. Compelling and thoughtprovoking, Singer makes the case for charity and generosity and shows us how to identify the organisations who can make a genuine difference in people’s lives.
Ted Talk: Why giving away our wealth has been the most satisfying thing we’ve done by Bill and Melinda Gates One of the world’s wealthiest couples, Bill and Melinda Gates have pledged to give away over 90% of their wealth to improving the quality of life for individuals around the world. In this honest interview, Bill and Melinda share their experience giving away their wealth - and the satisfaction they have found in the process…
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“Your fortune is not something to find but to unfold.” ~ Eric Butterworth
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‘‘We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give” — Sir Winston Churchill