I set Goals
December 2018
news is suffering can be transformed into something that brings happiness, not sorrow. Many years ago, my sister suffered a devastating road accident and it took me the longest time to comprehend it. Now, after years of struggle, slowly I am awakening to the realisation that despite of all the sorrow, actually because of all the pain, we have become stronger, bigger, more compassionate human beings and we have more capacity in our heart to understand other’s people sorrow and happiness. Peace is the aura of goodness, which is a reflection of Godliness. When I think of the word peace, I remember a story of Buddha’s life. In the time of Buddha, there was a man called Angulimala. (‘Anguli’ means fingers and ‘mala’ means garland – so literally, ‘a garland of fingers’). He had killed 999 people and cut their fingers and made a garland out of those fingers. He was a terror. People were scared of him. And he was looking for the 1,000th finger. One day, Buddha was passing through a forest, and people warned him not to go in the forest because of Angulimala. Buddha smiled and entered into the forest. Angulimala was happy to see Buddha as he hoped to kill him and take his finger to complete his garland. He expected to easily overtake him and quickly finish the job, but then a very strange thing happened. Even though Buddha was only walking, serenely and unhurried, Angulimala, despite his formidable strength and speed, found he could not catch up with him. Eventually, exhausted, angry, frustrated and soaked with sweat, Angulimala screamed at Buddha to stop. Then Buddha turned and, with neither anger nor fear, speaking quietly and directly, he told Angulimala that he, Buddha, had already stopped. He had stopped killing and harming and now it was time for him, Angulimala, to do likewise. Angulimala was so struck by these words, that there and then he stopped. He threw away his weapons and followed Buddha back to the monastery, where he became a monk. It was spoken that wherever Buddha was walking, for up to many miles all around, there never used to be violence, and the environment and people around him used to become very calm and very peaceful. I like to believe that if something bad is happening around me, it is my own state of being that is not enough and I will try to be better than before. Peace originates from within. It flows from my being to my mind, and to the minds of people all around us. Always remember: “To achieve peace, we have to become peace.” awakeningmagazine.com Follow us on Instagram @awakeningmagazine
Illustration: Clym Evenden
Peace is the hallmark of true wisdom Of all the goals we set ourselves, the most important and noble of all human endeavors are the ones directed to the attainment of peace. And this is most effective and powerful when it becomes a collective action – just as there cannot be such a thing as a healthy hand or leg but only a healthy body, likewise there cannot be individual peace but only universal peace. The idea of the conflict between the internal and external is what limits us. The world is not separate from us, we are very much connected to it. The working of any organ of in the body is the working of the whole system. If the finger moves or if the legs walk, it is the entire human being that acts as one stroke, simultaneously. Therefore, the peace of the world, which is so needed at this moment of human history, is not a matter that concerns merely our family or community or country, but it is a grace that we must shower on each other. Our vision as human beings has to be integral, meaningful and connected, in order that it may be successful. This is the manner in which we may awaken ourselves to the facts of creation. So, everyday take the best version of you, which is bright and beautiful, and introduce it to the people around you. Offer yourself to the world — your energies, your gifts, your visions, and your heart — with openhearted generosity. But understand, that when you live that way, you will soon learn how little you know and how easy it is to fail. But the good
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CONTENTS 1 SELF
2 WORK
3 HEALTH
4 INSPIRE
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The Psychology of Goal-Setting Setting goals focuses your achievements, and can make you happier too
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Setting Family Goals Working towards something together is a great way to encourage teamwork
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Walking The Right Path How to choose a career path that aligns with your career goals
Goal-Setting For Fitness Setting the right goals that fit with your lifestyle
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Learning Through Goals How goal setting could change your career
Healthy Eating Goals Ten smart goals to get you eating and feeling better
The Principles of Successful Goal-Setting Eight techniques to practice to ensure you grow
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The Warrior’s Way Defining the nature of your goals is the key to staying committed
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Story of Wisdom
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‘Al-Mu’akhkhir’ ‘The Procrastinator’
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Set Directions and the Goals will follow... By Dr Asma Naheed
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Self
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things� ~ Albert Einstein
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SELF
The Psychology of Goal-Setting How setting goals not only focuses your achievements, but can actually make you happier too
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oal-setting is one of the most important parts of self-development. In the sports and endurance industries, from amateur to elite, athletes use goal-setting to focus their mind and drive their achievements ever higher. And, even across the corporate and wellbeing worlds, setting goals as a way of focusing the mind has become increasingly popular. However, the process is not as simple as merely deciding on a goal and setting your sights on it. There are a number of complex psychological factors at play and successful goal-setting relies on first understanding how it all works.
of who we are, part of our day to day existence, and is, essentially, a fait accompli. And this works too to keep us focused – because, if we don’t achieve our goals, our brain cannot rationalise our new sense of self. The effect of this is an effective Mexican standoff between our mind and our reality, causing our brain to work very hard on trying to achieve the goal. In fact, the brain even so far as to reward and punish you for your achievements towards that specific goal. Every step you make towards your goal, the brain releases a happy chemical into your body called dopamine. However, if you fail to meet your goals, your body actually reduces the amount of dopamine in your system, leaving your feeling empty and depressed. IN addition, if you start to waver on your path or doubt yourself, your body punishes you still further by release stress-hormone cortisol into your system. “ Research has shown that experiencing an action crisis increases production of cortisol, which is your brain’s way of sounding a body-wide alarm in response to the internal conflict,” explains neurological writer David DiSalvo.
Goals and the Brain “Setting a goal has a powerful effect on how we see ourselves as people. When you set a goal, you are shifting your self-identity in a very real way. Why does this happen? Because the human brain can’t tell the difference between what we want and what we have,” says Anna Kegler, a marketing and selfdevelopment writer, in a blog post for rjmetrics.com. What Kegler means, is that when we set a goal, or decide on what we want to have or do, or where we want to get to, our brain considers to this to be an already established fact. In essence, it becomes part
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PSYCHOLOGY & GOALS So why, if it can create such a stressful environment for us, do we even bother with goal setting in the first place? Because goal-setting, when done effectively can produce incredible results. Knowing what you are aiming for focuses and directs your attention to what you are trying to achieve, and ensure that you are physical and mentally doing things to further that goal. “Goals mobilise your efforts,” explains David Harrison writing on beliveperform.com. “You will put your efforts into moving towards the goal as you are provided with the incentive of completing the goal.”
In addition, goal setting even makes you more persistent, encouraging you to keep going to avoid the unpleasant sensation of ‘action crisis’. And goal setting can even mean you start to learn new strategies to get where you want to go. So, it’s very important that when you set goals, you set them effectively, and with commitment. A lot of work has been done into accurate and effective goal setting, and all the experts agree that the most important thing is that the types of goals you set are directly associated with your happiness, and with their success.
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EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING One key tool you can use is to help you set good goals is the SMART measure of goal setting: S: Specific Don’t be vague, be clear and frank about what you want to achieve. Don’t aim to climb a mountain, aim to climb THAT mountain, but THAT date. M: Measurable Be clear about what reaching that goal means, don’t aim to write ‘some’ of your thesis, aim to FINISH it. A: Achievable Don’t set yourself up to fail. If you know you can’t realistically do something, you won’t even be motivated to start trying. R: Relevant Does this goal mean something to you? If you don’t like mountains or the cold, don’t plan to climb Everest, set goals that you are motivated by because you’re passionate about them. T: Timely Time limits, or clear timeframes are important, even if you agree on stages of achievement, rather than one big deadline, be timely with your goals. Essentially, it’s important to be detailed and thorough and to have thought through what you want to achieve. When a goal is set effectively and thoughtfully, your brain’s immense power can help you get there, but if you set it up to fail, it will be much harder to keep your focus. “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes,” said American industrialist and business magnate Andrew Carnegie.
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Setting Family Goals Working towards something together is a great way to encourage teamwork and get plenty of valuable family time says Emma Johnson
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hen a group of people work together for a common goal, they are left with a wonderful feeling of achievement, camaraderie and positivity. And when it is a family working towards something, this sense of accomplishment is even more special. Setting goals as a family should be a really key part of your family life – from something as simple as committing to eating together once a week to working together to build and paint a garden shed, family goals can really help siblings and parents to bond and share time together outside of the standard day-to-day routine.
LOOKING FORWARD TOGETHER One of the things that is most exciting about setting family goals, is that in deciding what goals you want to set, you are already doing important work around the concepts of communication, intention and commitment. Angela Pruess, a child and family therapist writing for Mother.ly on this subject, says: “It’s far too easy to get caught up in the chaos of family life, moving from day to day without stopping to consider what’s of main importance to us. When
family goals are set collaboratively, it provides space for the thoughts and concerns of both parent and child to be expressed. When we hear and understand the perspective of other family members, we’re more inclined to understand and empathize with each other’s ideas. This sets a tone of mutual understanding and respect, while building family morale when we work as a team.” Some family goals are simply about setting out some things you’d all like to achieve in the coming year – projects, grades, career or school targets; but other family goals can be inextricably linked to wanting to improve the communication, happiness, family relationships and home life. These goals might be less tangible to define, but can be plotted and measured in the same way as more distinct goals, when you think about how important family meals, family sports activities, planning a family holiday or even committing to family therapy, can be. “You know where you are starting from—where you can improve as a family—and now it’s time to make some decisions about both where you want to go and how you want to get there. It’s time to set and achieve specific goals, each of which will move you forward on the journey to becoming a family that thrives,” says Mark Timm, a writer at keeperofthehome.com and CEO at goalsetting company ziglarfamily.com.
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The most important thing about setting any goal as a family is that it must be a collaborative action and decision. Have a family meeting, or a simply start a conversation over dinner, and be open to everyone’s ideas. If you have something you want to work towards – perhaps a project like building a playhouse in the garden or painting the childrens’ bedrooms – make sure they get a say in how it will go. What do they like? What do they want to do? When do they want it to happen? What excites them about the project? Try to let each person in the family tap into their particular skills and interests – creatives can draw plans and design colours schemes, maths whizzes can price-up supplies and measure out spaces. If you family goals are more about improving your home life then allow everyone to say their piece and think big. Imagine waving a magic wand over your family and see what it would like. “Family goal setting starts with a vision of what you would like your family to look like, and then taking steady steps to achieve this goal,” says Dr Kell Tremayne, a lecturer and psychologist, writing on mytimemanagement.com. He says that you must allow everyone in the family a chance to answer the below questions: “Each family member should have five minutes to imagine their ideal future as a family, five years from now: • Imagine if your family were perfect 5 years from now what would it look like? • What kind of living standards would you have and where would you be living? • What optimal amount of time do you want to spend with the family? • In 5 years’ time, what sorts of things would the ideal family be doing?”
From here, work together to discuss how you might get to these ideals and be open to everyone’s ideas, often it will be your children who have the simplest, but most effective, ideas for bringing everyone together. One thing that is also important to remember, as you start to work on this goal, is to support the rest of the family, but not lead them. Kelly Holmes, editor at Happy You, Happy Family, explains how parents are too quick to assume the role of dictator, not facilitator. “If you do all the talking, your family goalsetting session can quickly become a one-woman or one-man show. The problem with that? Without involvement and buy-in from the rest of your family, it will be hard to make real progress on whatever goal you had in mind.” Holmes suggests inviting everyone to chime in, stating what you want and then allowing everyone to ask questions and adapt the goal to something that works for them. Repeat things often, and write everyone’s ideas down, reviewing it and summarising all the time, as you work through this discussion the goal will start to take shape in an organic way that feels very collaborative, and this is most important.
BE SMART ABOUT YOUR GOALS Once you have decided on your family goals, set them out, being sure to be really clear about what is expected from everyone. A good tool to use is the SMART measure of goal-setting. Your goals need to be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. So be clear about what you want to do, agree on how you will measure you progress and achievement, be realistic about what you can achieve, ensure everyone is engaged with and excited about the goals; and, finally, set a clear timeframe or deadline. Write the family goals down – use a blackboard or a big piece of card or paper you can pin to the wall, make sure everyone can see it. Schedule time during the week to review how you are doing with your goal and what the next steps are. “Of course, attaining a goal is success, but don’t discount all the other good
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stuff that comes along the way,” Pruess reminds us. “Small efforts should be positively reinforced, and opportunities to encourage each other can be taken advantage of in order to keep spirits and motivation high.”
CHANGING FAMILY LIFE Finally, you must ensure you are all committed to this goal and that you work to keep this commitment, even during setbacks or delays. A deadline will help with this, but it’s also relevant to keep checking in and being accountable. “I know a lot of us will work hard to keep commitments we’ve made to our bosses, our friends, and others, yet we quickly break our commitments to ourselves and our families. Integrity demands that you only make goals for your family that you intend to keep, and then actually keep them,” says Timm, who advocates what he calls
the ABC of goalsetting – is it something you can ACT on; is it something you BELIEVE in; and is it something you can COMMIT to? “Just get started, and get comfortable with evaluating your goals according to these simple ABCs, and your family’s journey to success will be well underway,” he adds. As you start to work on your goals, you might worry that they are actually creating more tasks for your to do than less and that instead of giving your more time with your family, you’ll get less. However, if you have plotted your goals, worked on them together and chosen things that your are all committed to, then you will find that goalsetting actually brings you together in all sorts of ways and frees up more time and patience than you could have imagined. “Setting family goals transcends the daily slog of family life that can make us feel run-down and overwhelmed. Because when you’re working together towards a common goal, your connection with your family will be stronger,” finishes Kelly Holmes.
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FAMILY GOALS: GOOD PLACES TO START
LESS SCREEN-TIME, MORE OUTSIDE TIME LEARN OR DO A SPORT TOGETHER – WALKING, ROCK CLIMBING, SAILING, CYCLING COOKING AND EATING TOGETHER REGULARLY WEEKLY FAMILY CHAT-TIME – NO SCREENS, NO INTERRUPTIONS, A CHANCE TO CATCH UP AND SHARE WORRIES AND SUCCESSES BUILD A PLAYHOUSE OR PERMANENT DEN IN THE GARDEN REDECORATE THE KIDS’ BEDROOMS VOLUNTEER TOGETHER FAMILY BOOK CLUB
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Work
‘‘By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands – your own” ~Mark Victor Hansen
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WORK
Walking the right path How to choose a career path that aligns with your career goals
It can be confusing to understand the difference between your career goals and your career path. Certainly if you career goals are effective and set with a clear understanding of the goal-setting process, it stands to reason that the natural path to them should reveal itself in front of you. But this is not always the case. Thousands of people across the world report feeling trapped in their jobs and careers, unclear what the path ahead looks like, or indeed, where it is leading. Many people dream about changing career, returning to university to study a different subject, or starting a new business of their own. These are all solid aims, if they align with the career goals you have already set. But if they are an act of desperation to remove yourself from an unhappy and unfulfilling work situation, they are misguided at best, at worse damaging to your career and sense of self-worth.
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Setting Your Path...
SO WHAT CAN YOU DO? The first step is having a clear vision of where you are trying to get to, before you take action. Can you envision what the future of your chosen career or job looks like? What is the perfect job? Where is it? What is it? How does it make you feel? What hours do you work? Think about whether you are deciding on a career, a job, a vocation, a product or new business. Is your choice of career the problem? Do you need to work in a different industry? Or a different part of your industry? Do you want to be the boss, or are you wanting less management responsibility and time to focus on your role and work? Allow yourself the scope to dream – no hold barred, big dreams. But also, temper that with and understanding of what feels realistic. And ask why. Why haven’t you go there yet? Is there a gap in your education or knowledge? Do you need to go back to school to give you that extra edge to move forwards?
GO THROUGH THE PROCESS A writer for LiveCareer.com lays out below a clear process to take yourself through when designing your career gaols. 1. Carve out a chunk of time. Don’t rush. This is something that may take several efforts and false starts before things begin to clear and you start getting a grasp of your ideal future. 2. Suspend logic and pragmatic thinking. Remember that with a career vision anything should be possible to accomplish, so find a way to turn off any negative thinking that will block you from thinking big. 3. Try some visioning exercises to help get your creative juices flowing. Think deeply about the questions and answer each as authentically as you can: a. How do you define career success? b. What would you want to do today if all your bills were paid and you had relatively unlimited cash reserves? c. What you would like your obituary to say about your career accomplishments? d. Who are the people you most admire? e. Do you feel as though you have a gift or calling? 4. Put it all together. Using one sentence or a concise paragraph, write your career vision. Write everything in the present tense, as if you already have accomplished it. 5. Keep your vision visible. Once you’ve created your career vision statement, stick it in various places and read it and say it aloud often. 6. Review your career vision statement regularly. Your vision can - and most likely will - change as you move closer to it.
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KEEP THE INTENTION AND REVIEW
Once you have established your goals, you will start to carve out your path to achieve them. This means that you have to work on the goal in many different ways, and one of the key ones is to keep reviewing and considering the goal and the route you took to setting it out. Making this process part of your every day habit, so it becomes second nature. When you talk about your goals, express them positively, rather than framing them in terms of what you don’t want. Set smaller targets for the coming day or week, and be precise about what you expect yourself to have got done by these times. You could also break down your goals into small, achievable tasks so you feel motivated to take on other goals once you start achieving your initial one. Stick to these targets and timelines. Be tough with yourself. Continue to write your goals down, and revaluate them too. Good luck!
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Learning Through Goals Learn how goal-setting could change your career
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process that helps us to develop behaviours in our daily lives, which will drive us towards higher achievement in our work lives, goal-based learning is used a lot in continual professional development and could be a vital tool for your own career progression. Career expert and chair of the eLearning Network Rob Hubbard, writing for trainingzone.co.uk, explains how it works: “To reliably remember a fact or learn a skill we need to cover it multiple times. We need to practice. Think of any skill you possess. Were you brilliant at it the first time you tried it? Probably not. Did your performance improve with practice? Yes. Did the majority of this practice take place in a classroom or on a computer? Probably not. It most-likely took place in the real world. Goal-based learning is fundamentally about putting learning into practice and is focused on the implementation of learning rather than the initial training delivery.” HOW DOES IT WORK? 1. Identify all the things that someone aiming for your goal would need to be able to do – (ie being a good listener, a good speaker, excellent at people management) 2. Design smaller individual goals or the training needed to ensure you can do all of these 3. Work out ways you can practise this in a real-world environment, not just at work
HOW CAN IT HELP YOU? TAKE CONTROL: Goal-based learning focuses on encouraging and enabling learners to take control of their individual learning journeys BE FOCUSED: Learners adopt a focus on developing skills that can be utilised within their current job role to close skill gaps and develop competencies BE VARIED: Goal-based learners are not limited to a single goal, they can have many running at the same time SOCIAL CONNECTIONS: Share experiences, learn with colleagues, make connections and build your network EVALUATE TO GROW: Performance evaluation is easer when you are responsible for the steps you are taking
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Health
‘‘If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes” ~ Andrew Carnegie
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HEALTH
Goal-Setting for Fitness Setting goals for improving or increasing your physical activity is mostly about setting the right goals that fit with your lifestyle
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Be clear about your commitment This is about making a decision about the importance of exercise in your life. You are going to need to make time for it, and this will sometimes mean fitting it in at at the cost of other things – watching TV, seeing friends, having a weekend lie in. You have to be clear about where fitness sits on your priority list and set you goal accordingly. Measure your fitness habits before you start Interrogating yourself about your previous successes and failures where fitness is concerned is really important. Ask yourself these questions, and be honest. -How long did previous exercise goals last? -How much did you enjoy them? -What have, historically, been your stumbling blocks? -Why did you stop?
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It is also pertinent to explore things like whether previous exercise programmes were practical – did they fit into your normal routine, could you easily access your fitness space of choice, did you have the right equipment, did you have a friend or a class to support you, was it financially viable? Answering these questions will present you with scenarios that haven’t worked before, so you can start to create a programme that addresses these stumbling blocks and is practical and realistic for your life. Make two goals You need to work in steps. Start with a long term goal, and then add in several short-term goals too. Long-term goal: Set your achievement goal for three to six months away, be clear about your objectives,
both what you want to achieve and how you want to achieve it. If you want to lose weight, consider how much weight, in what timescale, and what exercise you want to do to achieve this. If you want to build muscle, consider how much weight you would like to be able to eventually lift and how you want your body to look; if you want run or cycle in a race, consider the distance and the time you want to achieve. Short-term goal: Create a set of smaller steps and goals, with timescales to keep you moving from one stage to the next. Start off by setting out the first thing you need to do to get started - book a run, sign up for a class, buy some new trainers – and give it a deadline. Follow this with the date you will do your first run, attend a class. Then set goals about the frequency and length/intensity of your exercise, building it up
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gradually, week by week. Record everything in a list or table that allows you to physically tick them off each day or week, so you can see each stage your are achieving to -Start off very gently, and do not strain yourself at all during your first week or two of training. -If you run, increase your running time by about 10 percent per week. Work with progressively heavier weights, or do more repetitions. Increase your water intake, or fruit intake, and decrease your fat intake. Choose goals that make your life better Fitness and training blogger Benyamin Elias, who writes about using psychology to motivate yourself and make important life changes at routineexcellence. com, raises the idea that simply wanting to lose weight or get fit isn’t enough, it needs to tap into how
we feel about ourselves and what we want from our lives. “Focus on goals that are personally important to you. When you understand exactly what a goal means to you, you’re more likely to follow through.” What Elias means, is that instead of saying you want to ‘lose weight’ or ‘get fit’ as a goal, focus on what losing weight and getting fit will mean for you. Will it mean the chance to embrace fashions you can only dream of at the moment? Or being able to play football with your children? Does it mean being able to carry the shopping home without feeling out of breath? Does it mean feeling confident in public situations? Does it mean you might finally feel like dating? These are real life goals that are motivated by the way we feel, not by numbers, timescales or weights. These are the things that will really get you there.
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Simple Goals To Get You Started
1, Short & Sharp - Ten minutes of brisk walking every day 2, Support & Consistency - Join a yoga class with a friend 3, Build Strength - Fifteen minutes of lunges and squats, twice a week 4. Family Commitment – A bike ride or a woodland hike as a family every weekend 5. Do Something New – Try rock climbing, Pilates, dancing, spin, boxing… the list is endless
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Healthy Eating Goals Ten smart goals to get you eating and feeling better
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1 BE THERE FOR BREAKFAST The great thing about breakfast is that is can easily cover all of the important food groups – carbohydrates, protein, vegetables and dairy. Something like a whole grain bagel with peanut butter and banana slices, and a glass of milk is a great thing to aim for. Starting your day with breakfast also balances blood sugar levels and prevents hunger snacking before lunch. GOAL: Eat breakfast every day
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2 WATER OF LIFE
There is no end to the ways that drinking enough water is good for us. Set a reminder to drink water regularly or fill a big jug with water and aim to finish it by the end of the day. GOAL: Drink a minimum of two litres of water a day
3 EAT THE FRUIT, DON’T DRINK IT
When you juice fruit, you strip out the healthy fibre and release the natural sugars, turning them into a heavily concentrated amount of unhealthy fructose, which puts huge pressure on your liver to process. Eating an apple, as opposed to juicing it, limits your fruit intake in a manageable way and adds some muchneeded pulp and fibre to your snack. GOAL: Buy whole apples and bananas, stay away from juices and smoothies
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4 GO GREEN
Dark green vegetables are the healthiest for us and are packed with all sorts of nutrients and immuneboosting properties. Try to ensure you eat at least two a day - spinach with your breakfast eggs; kale and chilli with your chicken at lunch; peas with your pasta at dinnertime. GOAL: Include two green vegetables a day in your meals
5 BROWN, NOT WHITE
This applies to everything from rice and pasta to bread and pancakes. Use brown or wholemeal flour in bread and cakes, eat brown rice, wholegrain couscous and wholewheat pasta. GOAL: Replace the white carbs in your larder with brown ones
6 RED IS BEST
When it comes to fruits, red and black fruits are the best for you, being lowest in sugar and packed with healthy antioxidants. GOAL: Add red fruits to your breakfast, and choose a punnet of blueberries over an orange
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7 BEAT THE MEAT
Eat more protein, but get it from foods that are not meat – this means pluses, such as beans and lentils, as well as cheese, eggs, nuts, seeds, soya and tofu. GOAL: Replace meat with another protein source once a day
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8 MAKE THE FOOD, DON’T BUY IT
Supermarket produced foods are often heavy in sugar and salt to ensure their batch-cooked processes are still flavourful. Making sauces and pies at home means you can control the amount of needless sugar, salt and fat packed into processed foods. It’s often cheaper too. GOAL: Substitute one shop-bought meal for a homemade meal a day
9 BAKE OR STEAM
Choose healthier ways of cooking things – such as baking, steaming or poaching which use, or create, less fat. GOAL: Make a list of the foods/meals you could start to cook differently each week
10 CUT THE CAFFEINE
Drinking too much caffeine is linked to low mood, bad sleep, anxiety and raised blood pressure, switching your coffees to healthier alternatives such as green tea, puerh tea, herbal teas or even water can really help you feel more energised. GOAL: Switch out two coffees a day for a healthy tea alternative
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Inspire
‘‘Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy goal or ideal” ~ Earl Nightingale
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INSPIRE
The Principles of Successful Goal-Setting Eight techniques you can practice to ensure you grow
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INSPIRE
DON’T BE AFRAID TO AIM HIGH Challenge yourself. If it was easy to achieve a goal you wouldn’t need goal setting, you could just do what you needed to do. Goal-setting is needed for the big ideas, the long-held dreams and the lifechanging moments. Of course, they still need to be achievable, but they must be something worth aiming for. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars,” said Norman Vincent Peale.
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oal-setting is not a new concept. It has been around for thousands of years in one form or another. As humans, we are innately wired to want to progress, to move forward, to effect change, to improve. Whether this was inventing the wheel or inventing the internet, we have always had goals. Over two thousand years ago, even Aristotle wrote about goal setting. As part of his theory on the causes of change, he identified that change happened as the result of a defined purpose or end goal. “The idea being that purpose or an end result is a catalyst for change,” explains George Adler who writes about leadership and self-development on his eponymous blog, georgeadler.com. Successful goal-setting can mean the difference between an unrealised life and a wildly successful one. These eight techniques ensure that you are setting goals that inspire and motivate you and, crucially, that you will reach. SELF-BELIEF MATTERS Have faith in the process, if you don’t have the confidence in yourself and your abilities, it will be hard to achieve your goals, and even harder to set effective ones in the first place. “If you are in doubt, look around you,” says Helen Sabell, who writes for The College for Adult Learning (collegeforadultlearning. edu.au). “Everything you can see began as a goal in someone’s head. Turn your thoughts into a reality.”
MEASURE SUCCESS REGULARLY Check in with your goals and targets regularly. It’s important to be able to asses if you are making progress, getting closer to your goal, as this will provide vital motivation to keep you going in challenging times. Remember that the goal-setting process and the journey you take to achieve these goals are just as important as the result you desire. “After all, it’s the process that gets you where you want to be, not the result itself,” says Aaron Vick writing in Forbes magazine (forbes.com). “Remind yourself to love and appreciate the process of reaching your goals. Honouring the adventuring will help you to stay confident, positive and motivated.” EMOTIONAL COMMITMENT IS PARAMOUNT An emotional connection and commitment to your goals is what will keep you going when you feel that things are getting too hard or you meet unexpected obstacles. You simply cannot adopt an entirely methodical and logical path towards a goal, it has to drive you, ignite your passion and be something you are profoundly committed to. “It is your emotional commitment to your goals that provides the motivation and perseverance demanded by challenging goals,” explains Ambler. “Failing to take time to build rational and emotional commitment to your goals makes achieving them unlikely.”
CLARITY IS ESSENTIAL “Clear goals focus your attention,” says Ambler. “Without them you become distracted, your attention is dispersed and scattered. When goals are vague and unclear they create misunderstanding and confusion. The lack of clarity makes it difficult to identify your next steps and what needs to get done. The result is you lose focus, waste time and energy. When goals are clear tasks and activities are easy to identify.”
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BE ACCOUNTABLE It’s tempting not to ‘tempt fate’ or ‘jinx things’. It’s tempting too, to not tell anyone about your goals, for fear of failure. But this allows only the negative voices in your head to influence your journey. If you tell family, friends, colleagues, social media and peers about your goals you open youself to a world of support, encouragement, ideas and advice. It could be invaluable. “When facing adversity, you have to hold yourself accountable, says Sabell. “Telling your family and friends about your goals may give you the responsibility you need, helping you gather the support system to give you a push. If you remain accountable in your everyday life, you will also surround yourself with constant encouragement from those who are following your progress.”
MANAGEABLE CHUNKS Organize and prioritise goals in small, manageable tasks and timeframes. There is a brilliant phrase that says: “You have to eat the elephant one bite at a time.” This analogy works well here – don’t be overwhelmed by the magnitude of your goal, break it down, work out where you need to start, and go from there. Make lists and a set of tasks to achieve each week - and allow yourself the pleasure of crossing completed things off your list too. “Craft a roadmap of smaller sub-tasks that need to be completed on your way to achieving your big goal” says Ambler. “This means you will need to develop a plan to guide you on your journey. Plans help prevent you from getting overwhelmed by task complexity. Plans also help you to remain motivated, take action and monitor your progress.
SEE IT HAPPEN Visualize what your success will look and feel like. The more you tell your brain that you need to reach a certain goal, the more you will be able to push yourself towards it. Keep a vision of the goal, or what life looks like when you reach your goal, always in your mind. Or write it down, and keep this piece of page close by at all times. Hold it, look at it, refer to it often. “If you want to accomplish your goals with razor-sharp focus, visualize it happening first. See yourself taking every step necessary until the task is complete. Then, get out there and make it happen,” says Vick.
“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” - Pablo Picasso
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The Warrior’s Way Defining the nature of your goals is the key to staying committed during challenges, says pioneering rock climber Arno Ilgner
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M
otivation derives from the sense that goals are the skills you learn in the process of your you will “get something” from an external achievements, internal things such as the experience. Motivation is the fuel ability to commit more completely or fall more that drives your effort and increases safely. If you’re motivated solely by end goals, or diminishes depending on then as stress and difficulty whether or not you feel you’ll increase during a crux, you attain your goal. There are see less chance of attaining “Motivation is the two main types of goals: end your goal. The stress stands fuel that drives your goals and process goals. Your between you and your goal. motivation will behave very Since motivation derives effort and increases differently under the stress from the anticipation of depending on whether of a climbing challenge, attaining a goal, when you depending on which type begin to tire, end-goal or not you feel you’ll of goal you are working motivation will tend to attain your goal” toward. Understanding this diminish. You say: “Why difference and using it is key bother? I know I’m too in maintaining motivation to exhausted to get to the top.” stay committed during challenging climbing. If, however, you are motivated by process goals, End goals are such external things as climbing then as stress increases you see a greater chance harder grades or redpointing routes. Process of attaining your goal — improved skills. Your
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motivation increases. As your strength fades, you say, “One more move is valuable, so do it.” Most climbers are motivated by both ends and processes. End goals pick the stage where you will perform. They involve routes you want to climb or places you want to arrive where you’ll be satisfied (comfortable). End goals are realised after stress. Process goals concern the quality of the performance. They involve skills you want to learn, or stressful situations that provide learning opportunities. Process goals are realized during stress. It’s important to have both type of goals and to set them up in the correct hierarchy. If you want to maximize your performance, make process goals primary and end goals secondary. This way, you will be primarily motivated to engage in climbing situations that are stressful, creating an opportunity to learn and improve. You are secondarily motivated to find the most
comfortable way through the stressful situation and attain the end goal of a redpoint or on-sight. Think of end goals as tests of how well you have learned your process goals. As living beings, we feel truly alive when we grow. Grounding our motivation in growth, in the challenge and stress that will actually cause us to grow, fuels the whole process. The source of our power and the application of it are connected, allowing our power to flow from our ground, through our being, and into our effort, as we apply it on a route. Valuing growth keeps our motivation consistent and connected to its source. Arno Ilgner was a pioneering rock climber during the 70s and 80s, after which he developed a unique mental training program entitled The Warrior’s Way. This article first appeared on his blog: warriorsway.com
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- STORY OF WISDOM -
The Secret of Success
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nce a young man asked a wise man the secret to success. The wise man, Socrates, patiently listened to the man’s question and told him to meet him near the river the next morning for the answer. The next morning, Socrates asked the young man to walk with him towards the river. As they went into the river, the water got up to their neck. But to the young man’s surprise Socrates ducked him under the water. The young man struggled to get out of the water, but Socrates was strong and kept him there until the boy started turning blue. At this moment, Socrates pulled his head out of the water. The young man gasped and took a deep breath of air. Socrates asked: ‘What did you want the most when your head was in the water?” The young man replied: “Air.” Socrates said: “That is the secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted the air while you were in the water, then you will get it. There is no other secret.” A burning desire is the starting point of all accomplishment. A small fire cannot give much heat, and, in turn, a weak desire cannot produce great results.
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‘Al-Mu’akhkhir’ ‘The Procrastinator’ The one who puts things in their right places. He makes ahead what he wills and delays what he wills.
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Set Directions and the Goals will follow...
by Dr Asma Naheed, Educational Psychologist, Special Needs Consultant and Public Speaker
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S
teve Jobs once said: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Setting the direction of your life journey is like adjusting the sails. Instead of setting life goals, set a life direction - figure out the things that would create a fun, meaningful, and compelling journey, and work towards them with passion and excitement. Many of the high achievers I’ve worked with over the years have reached their goals, but ended up missing out on their lives in the process, trapped by the strict boundaries they have created. Sometimes, they even reach their goals, only to discover they were the wrong goals, and that they chose the wrong path to get there too. Because no-one taught them how to set goals that would give them the life and the career they wanted. The month of December is usually a goal-planning time for many. To properly set your yearly goals, ask yourself the following few questions. • How do I want to spend my time? • What daily activities make me want to leap out of bed? • What do I want to learn? • What I had learned so far? • Who do I want to hang out with? Talk with? Collaborate with? • Where are my inspirations coming from? • Among all the things I could do in life, what do I care about most? • What are my high priorities?
This self-questioning exercise will help you set the proper course for your life, and by heading in the right direction, you will naturally steer towards those goals and achievements that your heart and intuition know to be paramount. Without focus, our abilities and talent are useless. Just as sunlight cannot burn through anything without the focusing of a magnifying glass, we can’t achieve anything unless a goal is focusing our efforts. At the end of the day, goals are what give us direction in life. By setting goals for yourself you give yourself a target to shoot for. A goal is a clear destination that you want to reach. It tells you which way to go, so you don’t get lost or run around in circles. Goals are a necessary tool of life planning, and knowing your path makes all the difference. A clear goal tells you to avoid wasting time on the sidelines. It helps you better manage the limited time and energy you have. Goals guide you in the long run and motivate you in the short run. The root of all the motivation or inspiration you have ever felt in your entire life are your goals. By making a goal you give yourself a concrete endpoint to aim for and get excited about. It gives you something to focus on and put 100 per cent of your effort into, and this focus is what develops motivation. Goals are simply tools to focus your energy in positive directions, these can be changed as your priorities change, new ones added, and others dropped. As Brian Tracy said: “Goals allow you to control the direction of change in your favor”.
“A clear goal tells you to avoid wasting time on the sidelines”
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This month I am.. . Trying to solve..
Reading..
Listening to..
The Desire Map by Danielle Laporte In this unique approach to goalsetting, LaPorte provides hands-on tools to help you identify your core desired feelings, and then create practical ‘goals with soul’ to generate those feelings. By chasing the feeling versus the goal, she empowers you to forge substantial life changes that reflect your intrinsic nature and alleviate suffering.
Ted Talk: Diana Nyad Never Ever Ever Give Up Diana Nyad set herself a lifelong goal – to swim the 100 miles between Cuba and Florida. At the age of 64 she finally achieved her dream. She tells how her commitment to this goal kept her going amidst dark nights, jellyfish and hallucinations.
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‘‘Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground” ~ Theodore Roosevelt
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‘‘Goals are the road maps that guide you to your destination’’