Kintsugi Winter Issue by BSP

WINTER - ISSUE 8

Self ··Wellbeing · Home · Fashion · Beauty · Health

THE

S PA C E

ISSUE

Contents 3

Why now is the time to find space and sanctuary – however that looks for you

Creating an instant sanctuary

From the editor

The mindful five Cosy investments to cheer up the long winter nights

Reading list Get comfortable with a good book this season and let the world slip away for a little while

These feelings are coming to serve you What if we accepted that hardship and failure are simply part of life? How would this acceptance change our experience?

Five apps for...

(Don’t) look on the bright side Can being positive have a darker side? Elle Blakeman speaks with chartered psychologist and coach Suzy Reading

Take a deep breath Promising to improve sleep, boost immunity and reduce stress, it’s no wonder that taking control of the breath is being hailed as the ‘next big wellness revolution’. Meet Richie Bostock, aka The Breath Guy, to find out why

Making time to disconnet How do we take a digital break without switching off from the techonology we genuinely rely on? And how can you tell the

difference? Emma Johnson investigates

Author Beth Kempton asks what if we consider that a crisis can happen for you, rather than to you

Calm in a teacup

Finding hope in adversity

Annabelle Spranklen looks at the tradition of the tea ceremony and explores how the simple pleasure of enjoying tea can help you switch off

A nuturing space This year, more than ever, the spaces we call home have become our sanctuaries. We meet Michelle Ogundehin, author of Happy Inside: How to Harness the Power of Home for Health and Happiness to talk about creating places that shelter and soothe

This wooded sanctuary Nature is not just a pretty diversion to be indulged in every now and again, it’s an essential element to achieve a healthy body and a sound mind. Alice Anderson explores how – and why – we need to get back to our roots

The beauty of space In the quest for emotional space, nothing beats the sanctuary of a carefully crafted beauty routine says writer Katy Young

Kintsugi tries… Ila Kundalini Back Therapy Writer Annabelle Spranklen experiences a holistic massage that offers a retreat from her own busy mind and found a version of ‘mindfulness for people who don’t do mindfulness’.

The New Black Brighten up black this season with rich embellishments, lace heels and lots and lots of sequins...

Soak it all up From anxiety to sleeplessness – our bodies and minds are enduring an unprecedented toll. Carve some wellness rituals into your day with these simple but powerful tools...

The Kintsugi Kitchen Chef Alice Coulson has been working with Kintsugi founder Al Reem Al Tenaiji on a range of delicious, seasonal recipes for our new book The Kintsugi Kitchen, out early next year. Here, Alice explains what drives her passion and creativity and shares one of her favourite winter recipes…

Spirit of compassion A classic tale of the power of giving

Editor-in-Chief Al Reem Al Tenaiji Managing Editor Dr Asma Naheed

AL-MUID A classic tale of the power of giving

Editor Elle Blakeman

With a renewed focus on mental health and wellbeing in 2020, Najla AlTenaiji explains how brain training has improved her life immeasurably

Editorial Assistants Paris Starr Annabelle Spranklen

Creative Director Rosemary Macgregor

Use it, don’t lose it

Happy families What does it take to raise a happy, well-adjusted family? Far from being flawless the answer lays in admitting our humanity says Dr. Asma Naheed

Sub Editor Bruno MacDonald

From the editor... ‘However you find your sanctuary, now is the time to create space, to know how to retreat and to focus on those places and spaces that restore and renew’

ave you ever wondered why we called our brand Kintsugi Space? Sure, it denotes our physical presence – the space we are carefully curating for our members – but it goes deeper than that. Space can also be mental, emotional and spiritual. The space to think, to feel and to be who you truly are is a freedom like no other. This year space has reached a new premium. As the wave of the coronavirus pandemic swept across the globe, we all fled to our homes, putting up walls and seeking distance, both physical and metaphorical to keep us safe. Kitchen tables became school desks, sofas turned into meeting rooms and families were suddenly on top of each other in ways unimaginable even a year ago. Space from some became an impossible ask. Outside of the home, space came to mean safety. Our naturally sociable selves were forced to turn inwards as we distanced ourselves from others. We needed to embrace solitude, to get comfortable with our own company and to find sanctuary in the act of locking-down and staying in. Human beings have always needed spaces of sanctuary and retreat, but through this unique experience we learnt how to create these for ourselves and to discover all the different ways we can find solace in things like nature, meditation, self-care and home comforts. In this issue, we explore the issue of space in all its forms. We meet breathing expert Richie Bostock to discuss why taking control of the breath is being hailed as the ‘next big wellness revolution’. Emma Johnson meets interiors’ expert Michelle Ogundehin to discuss how our deepest nesting

instincts can serve us and why what surrounds us can make or break us. As Ogundehin puts it: ‘Your home can be a secret superpower in an increasingly uncertain world’. In a quest for more space, nature can also be a place of sanctuary and solace. In times of difficulty, nature offers a level of perspective, the opportunity to realise you are part of something huge and timeless. The reminder that this too shall pass. We take a walk into the wilds to discover how our biology connects us with the earth and can both heal and support our immune systems, as well as helping with our mental health. And what of emotional space? In her thoughtprovoking article, Elle Blakeman speaks to psychologist Suzy Reading who makes a case against what she calls ‘toxic positivity’ and argues for us to allow ourselves the time and space to experience the hardships and challenges of life, without having to hide behind a cheerful façade. Of course, sanctuary doesn’t have to be about big changes, mountain ranges and solid walls, we can also create mental space for ourselves with better self-care. Annabelle Spranklen looks at how the ancient ritual of the tea ceremony offers a moment’s pause in a busy day while writer Katy Young suggests we can find it in something as simple as our carefully-crafted beauty regimes. We also look at why you might want to try taking a more careful approach to your use of technology and social media, or simply dive into a good book, simply letting the world slip away for a while. However you find your sanctuary, now is the time to create space, to know how to retreat and to focus on those places and spaces that restore and renew. We hope you enjoy the issue. Clockwise from top: Lace diamond and yellow gold earrings, £2,600, Kiki McDonough. Fig & Lotus flower cologne, £100, Jo Malone London. Vital Voices: The Power of Women Leading Change Around the World, £45, Assouline. African palmier khaki velvet cushion, £50, Elizabeth Scarlett. Bath drops, £31, Fur at Net-a-Porter

The

Mindful 5

Long winter nights call for cosy homewear

MERINO THROW

CERAMIC CRACKLE VASE

There’s something reassuring wholesome about spending wintery nights holed away at home. Whether you’re hunkering down for a cosy night in front of the telly or want to give your sofa or bed a perked-up look for the new year, this beautifully soft 100% pure Merino lambswool stripe throw from Issy Granger is snuggly, chic and undeniable luxurious. We love this soothing pastel green - but it comes in washes of pink and blue too.

Some vases are more than just a pot to place your stems in and this one from ceramist Alex MCarthy would make a stunning statement piece for your home, with or without blooms inside. With a rich copper drip effect and creamy complexion, this vase has an opulent, bohemian flair about it which we adore. Each one is lovingly handmade too so you can be certain yours is as individual and bespoke as you are.

Lambswool throw, £185, Issy Granger.

Alex McCarthy Cream Crackle Vase, £125, LuxDeco

JADE RESTORER COMB CABLE-KNIT SLIPPERS There is nothing quite like sliding your feet into a pair of ultra-warm slippers first thing on a chilly morning or after a long day and this cableknitted pair from Soho Home is just the ticket. Inspired by the knitted accessories used in the Soho Farmhouse cabins, they’re crafted with a chunky cable knit outer and cosy terrycloth underfoot, with plush padding which makes every step feel like one big hug on your tired toes.

Hayo’u’s mission is all about bringing thousands of years of Eastern medicine into simple, daily routines that take just a few minutes to complete. Based on ancient Chinese massage, this Xiuyan Jade Beauty Restorer Comb works to reduce stress and tension. As you run it through your roots it helps lift your energy levels, promote relaxation and increase scalp stimulation. It’s small size means you can carry around with you all day when you need a boost. Hayo’u beauty restorer comb, £38, Net-a-Porter

Harrison cream slippers, £38, Soho Home

DESK LIGHT Who said desk lamps had to be basic, plain and boringly functional? Certainly not us. Light up your home office or those dark and moody corners in your living space with this everso-cheery metal shade and marble lamp from Oliver Bonas. With a luxe pink marble base, metallic gold stem and metallic green fitting, we guarantee this luxe accent will not only brighten your surroundings but probably your mood too. And who’s to argue with that?

Metal Shade & Marble Table and Desk Lamp, £98, Oliver Bonas

The

Reading List Get comfortable with a good book this winter and let the world slip away for a little while

COUCH THERAPY: A GRAPHIC TALE OF PSYCHOTHERAPY PHILIPPA PERRY

IF YOU SHOULD FAIL: A BOOK OF SOLACE JOE MORAN

All of us feel like a failure at some point in our lives and Professor Joe Moran’s book is a reassurance that failure is life’s small print and not every failure needs to be made into a success. The social historian explores how modern life makes us feel like frauds and imposters and how even the seemingly invincible figures in the history book, including Leonardo da Vinci and Virginia Woolf, felt like let-downs.

Delving into what really happens in a therapist’s consultation room, Bestselling author and psychotherapist Philippa Perry vividly recounts a year’s therapy sessions with a witty and thoughtprovoking exploration of how the therapeutic journey works as a search for understanding and truth. There’s some beautiful illustrations by Flo Perry, author of How to Have Feminist Sex, too.

THE FOURFOLD REMEDY: EPICURUS AND THE ART OF HAPPINESS JOHN SELLARS

THE RAG AND BONE SHOP: HOW WE MAKE MEMORIES AND MEMORIES MAKE US VERONICA O’KEANE

What do we really need in order to live a happy life? The Greek philosopher Epicurus suggested a simple answer: pleasure. Today we tend to associate the word ‘Epicurean’ with over indulgence but, as philosopher John Sellars shows, this was not the simple and tranquil vision envisioned by Epicurus. This book draws on the ancient wisdom that feels remarkably relevant today, offering a new way of thinking about what truly matters in our lives.

Memories have the power to move us, often when we least expect it, a sign of the complex neural process that continues in the background of our everyday lives. Psychiatrist Veronica O’Keane has spent many years observing what happens when this process is disrupted by mental illness and draws on the experiences of her patients to explain the role of psychiatry today and the extraordinary puzzle that is our human brain.

THERE ARE PLACES IN THE WORLD WHERE RULES ARE LESS IMPORTANT THAN KINDNESS CARLO ROVELLI

SCANDI RUSTIC: CREATING A COZY & HAPPY HOME REENA SIMON AND REBECCA LAWSON

Italian theoretical physicist and writer Carlo Rovelli invites us on a voyage through science, literature, philosophy and politics in this collection of writings of intelligence, across time and space. From Newton’s alchemy to Einstein’s mistakes, Dante’s cosmology and to the consciousness of an octopus, this book is the perfect gateway to understanding the influential physicists of our age. best of ways.

Hygge influencers Reena Simon and Rebecca Lawson are renowned for their love affair with all things Scandi. In their first book, Scandi Rustic Style, they reveal how to create a home that takes elements of Scandinavian design and introduces rustic natural materials and textures to create a Scandi-inspired interior that is cozy, relaxed, and inviting.

LOSING EDEN: WHY OUR MINDS NEED THE WILD LUCY JONES -

Today many of us live indoor lives, disconnected from the natural world as never before. And yet nature remains deeply ingrained in our language, culture and consciousness. As we lose our bond with the natural worldmight we also be losing part of ourselves? This book explores how and why connecting with the living world can so drastically affect our health and how finding solace in the soil might just save us and the planet.

THE FUNNY THING ABOUT NORMAN FOREMAN JULIETTA HENDERSON

WINTERING THE POWER OF REST AND RETREAT IN DIFFICULT TIMES KATHERINE MAY -

Sometimes you slip through the cracks: unforeseen circumstances like an abrupt illness, the death of a loved one or a job loss can take you off course. For May, her husband fell ill, her son stopped attending school and medical issues led her to quit her job. Wintering explores how she not only endured this painful time, but how she found nourishment in deep retreat and joy in the hushed beauty of winter.

THE STOIC GUIDE TO A HAPPY LIFE 53 BRIEF LESSONS FOR LIVING MASSIMO PIGLIUCCI

Twelve-year-old Norman Foreman and his best friend, Jax, are a legendary comedic duo in waiting, gearing up to one day perform at the Edinburgh Fringe. But when Jax dies, Norman realises he’s not the funny one. This uplifting debut takes us on a road trip with a mother and son who will live in the reader’s heart for a long time to come, and teaches us that—no matter the odds—we must always reach for the stars.

Philosopher Massimo Pigliucci offers a different approach to Stoicism that reflects modern science and attitudes, embracing the joyful bonds of affection, the satisfaction of a job well done, and the grief that attends loss. In his hands, stoicism isn’t about feats of indifference, but about enduring pain without being overwhelmed, while enjoying pleasures without losing our heads.

These feelings are coming to serve you â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Positive vibes onlyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; is a very modern mantra but what if we accepted that hardship and failure are simply part of life? How would this acceptance change our experience?

By Al Reem Al Tenaiji

‘If we treat and value all

feelings equally – everything from joy to sadness, regret to

anger – we can hear what they have to say’

y dad always says: ‘Wise is the one who recognises failure as one of the pathways to success’. It’s a phrase that I think of often. In studying the philosophy of Kintsugi, I have learned that that while perfection is sometimes attainable, the pursuit of it makes us boring and artificial. In life, it is our differences, our shortcomings and our imperfections that connect us to humanity. It is these that make us real and interesting. ‘Positive vibes only’ is a very modern mantra. Through social media we are bombarded with posts beseeching us to ‘look on the bright side’, to ‘just choose happiness’, to ‘never give up!’. We all know that our mindset dictates the way we feel. But what about when life is just downright hard? What happens when our reality is not all sunshine and rainbows? The times when our dreams are crushed, and we are faced with a whole new set of decisions we are utterly unprepared for? At times like these, super-positive phrases may actually be detrimental. Positivity overload can become toxic when it

prevents us from processing our emotions. It’s harmful to mask deep and painful situations with brave smiles and optimistic statements instead of validating our struggle, hardship and pain. It is essentially denial and by doing it we are distilling the rich and complex human experience to a feelgood meme. Quite simply, some days are better than others. In our lives, we all experience loss, both physical and our visions for our future. When we face genuine, hard decisions, we tackle stressful uncertain situations; things can go a very different way than the hopes we carry in our hearts. Instead of invalidating our struggle with a ‘good thoughts only’ hashtag – a band-aid at best – the way forward is to acknowledge our pain, uncover our fears and accept our ugly, raw, scary feelings for what they are. All the psychological tools in the world cannot work against someone in denial. What if instead of saying: ‘don’t be so negative’ we say: ‘it’s ok to feel bad; suffering is the beauty of our life’. Instead of saying: ‘good vibes only,’ we say: ‘all vibes are welcome here’. Instead of feeling that ‘failure is not an option’, we

admit that failure is simply part of life. For me, practicing the philosophy of Kintsugi revealed the art of realistic optimism. It allows us to own our vulnerability and failure, to give these parts of us a voice while also making sure that negative feelings do not dictate how we move forward in our journey. It’s about acknowledging all of life’s good and challenging times, while refusing to be driven by fear. Most psychologists agree that emotions carry information about our inner world. They can shed light on something important or explain a need to protect ourselves. If we treat and value all feelings equally – everything from joy to sadness, regret to anger – we can hear what they have to say. Even negative emotions can bring positive outcomes in the end. During challenging times, it’s essential to engage in self-care practices, to advocate for yourself when you need something to change and take a break when you need one. Carry your hope in your heart, knowing that while you will do all you can, some things are simply out of your control.

Five Appsâ&#x20AC;Ś for creating an instant sanctuar y

Find a way tune in, zone out and create an instant feeling of retreat and calm with these simple apps

1 W H I TE NO I S E Simple background sounds from jungle frogs and waves on the sand to birds at dusk and gentle waterfalls playing on an endless loop, meaning you can turn one on, close your eyes and shut the world out.

BREAT H I N G ZON E

A LO E B U D

Guided breathing exercises for mindfulness. The breathing analyser detects your breathing rate and automatically sets your target breathing rate, calming your down and even lowering your blood pressure.

A self-care pocket companion, this clever little apps offers up suggestions for simple moments of wellbeing –think hydration, journaling or stretching – to keep you focused and ensure you’re looking after yourself.

4 S P OT I F Y When you need to zone out, the playlists on Spotify are some of the most relaxing. You can search by mood too, meaning you can select music for moments such as morning awareness, read and unwind, study-focus or acoustic chill.

5 D HA RM A S EED An incredibly comprehensive walk through Buddhist teachings, Dharma Seed is also free, making it one of the worlds’ most accessible meditation platforms. You can search talks by topic or mood to create an instant moment of mindfulness and self-compassion.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;The survival of humankind depends on our ability to stop rushingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - Thich Nhat Hanh

POSITIVE V I B E S O N LY

(Don’t)look on the bright side Can being positive have a darker side? Elle Blakeman speaks with chartered psychologist and coach Suzy Reading

few years ago I met a friend for coffee, where I confided that I was having a hard time at work. There had been a spate of redundancies at my company and I was feeling a horrible mix of dread and fear every morning as I entered my office. ‘You’ll be fine! At least you have a job!’ came the reply. Welcome to the world of toxic positivity, a place where platitudes (preferably ending with an aggressively upbeat exclamation point!) reign supreme, neatly brushing aside someone else’s feelings and experience while paradoxically claiming the moral high ground (‘I was being nice!’). So how can positivity be bad for you? ‘It can be hard to give voice to our feelings and reach out for support at the best of times, but in this current chapter of genuine collective struggle, it can feel impossible,’ explains coach Suzy Reading. ‘When it’s clear that there are others with burdens greater than our own, we can wind up feeling we don’t have a right to our feelings, let alone a down day. ‘With echoes of toxic positivity bouncing around us – “come on, at least you’ve got a job/a partner/ flour in the cupboard/a patch of garden, you’re not allowed to find this hard” – we can feel shamed into silence. And it doesn’t help anyone.’ So what does toxic positivity look like? ‘It can be anything along the lines of: ‘Stay positive! Just think good thoughts! This wouldn’t be happening if you were thinking positively. Cheer up! Don’t worry! Things will be fine I know it!’ It’s the excessive oversimplification of a situation (my former companies’ complex financial issues were not going to be solved by my positive thoughts alone), and forcing someone to adopt an upbeat, optimistic mood state across all situations.’ But what if we mean well? I’m sure most of us have

made similar comments to friends and family at with the best of intensions. ‘It might be well intentioned but the consequences can be deeply damaging,’ says Reading. ‘To be told to ‘buck up and get over it’ or worse to ‘be grateful’ minimises, invalidates and denies our normal and natural emotional experience. When someone has plucked up the courage to be honest about how they’re feeling, toxic positivity effectively shuts down open conversation, preventing people from feeling their feelings and piling on the additional burden of judgement, blame and guilt.’

‘Regardless of what you have heard on Instagram or in the media, it is not only ok, it is very normal to have down days, and right now, this might span into weeks or months of real struggle. What we all need is a medicinal dose of compassion, a kick-arse self-care toolkit and the love and support of people around us.’

So in essence, while we are often told not to bottle things up, this is only the case if the person we choose to share them with is able to listen without judgement. Otherwise we can add a layer of shame and guilt onto an already shaky emotional foundation. ‘It’s particularly exhausting right now,’ explains Reading. ‘No one has been unaffected by the pandemic, we are collectively experiencing layers and layers of loss. As humans, we grieve not only when we lose someone we love, but also when our safety is threatened, when our identity or selfexpression is challenged, when our autonomy is compromised including our capacity to work and when our personal freedoms are curtailed, causing us to mourn the loss of imagined futures. These are all very real right now and we need human acceptance, not the “bright side”.’ So what’s a healthier alternative to dealing with our grief – and that of others? ‘Rather than aiming for ‘Positive Vibes Only’ which just isn’t realistic, nor is it actually good for us, let’s shoot for a more balanced mindset,’ says Reading. ‘No one is immune from stress, loss and change and the healthy human response to these challenges is to feel our feelings – the whole gamut, from the deep, dark and heavy ones to the lighter, brighter joyful moments. They all have their place and for us to feel whole we need to allow and accept them all, regardless of whether our challenge is larger or smaller than anyone around us. Our loss is still our loss, our hurt is still our hurt and we have every right to mourn these things. While it’s important to validate our feelings and acknowledge our loss, it is also helpful to stay anchored in perspective, recognising too the blessings in our lives.’ And if you find yourself tempted to reply with the words ‘At least…’ or ‘Just…’ to someone who’s just poured their heart out then my advice is don’t. Just don’t.

S TO

NDS

S 1. Acknowledge your challenges, loss, stress or worry. Allow

4. Bring balance to your thinking by not only acknowledging

yourself to recognise the current impingements and know that someone else’s pain doesn’t negate your own. Comparison truly doesn’t serve anyone. We need to remember that we are all wired differently, with different circumstances, needs, preferences and inclinations. Some people love solitude while others genuinely need face to face interaction as much as they need food in their bellies. Leave judgement at the door and allow compassion and empathy to guide conversations and your own reflections.

your challenges but also identifying what’s going well in your life. You could make a mind map with the different facets of your life and use it to celebrate the good stuff. This approach can help us put a ring around the painful parts, chunking them down so they don’t spill out and taint the whole. You could jot down the things you appreciate, the people in your corner, the blessings in your life or the silver linings to the tough times - the lessons or opportunities for growth.

2. Notice, accept and allow all your feelings. Ask yourself, how would any other human being feel if they were facing your current variables? Give voice to them with a carefully selected supportive friend – it is very healing to be heard and understood. Become skilled in bearing witness to your own emotions, giving yourself permission to feel as you do. Try some journaling to help you identify the various threads of your emotions, knowing there can be many present at once. Just labelling our emotions can help us feel less pushed around by them. Bear in mind that our emotions are not always the gospel truth and it can be useful to check in with ourselves and ask is this emotion appropriate to the current situation and is it in an appropriate intensity.

3. Make time and space to move through your feelings. Just as we need to digest our food, we need to digest and process our emotions. Emotions have an energetic charge. If you see something funny, feel a laugh begin to erupt but stifle it, the charge of that laughter doesn’t just disappear, it gets held in the body. To digest our emotions we need time and space to dissipate their energetic charge. Reflective practices like journaling can help us vent (just don’t read it back or you swallow all the gripes again). Breathing exercises and fluid relaxed movement can facilitate a more wordless release. Time in Nature can also be an effortless way to let go of what you no longer need. Or you can have a good cathartic release by watching, reading or listening to emotive films, books, poetry or music.

A LT

5. Take tender, loving action. While it is healthy to feel our feelings we don’t need to be at their ransom all day long. We might choose to dedicate certain times of day to sit with them and express them. In other moments we might need some light relief. Just make sure you opt for healthy distractions rather than rely on crutches like caffeine to get you going, comfort food to soothe throughout the day, screens like a digital pacifier, online shopping for a feel good hit and alcohol to chill out. These might help in the moment but your future self seldom thanks you for these habits. Draw on the therapeutic power of scent, light, colour, touch, movement, music, connection, and Nature’s beauty when you want to lift your mood and liberally sprinkle compassion about wherever possible, all day, every day.

Suzy is an author, chartered psychologist and coach specialising in self-care. Her new book ‘Self-Care for Tough Times’ is hot off the press. @suzyreading

What Toxic Positivity sounds like

Stay positive! Just think good thoughts This wouldn’t be happening if you were thinking positively Cheer up! Don’t worry Things will be fine I know it Calm down! Getting upset won’t help Positive vibes only Stop being so negative Never give up Look on the bright side Things could be worse Everything happens for a reason If I can do it you can!

Alternatives

How does that feel? Talk me through what’s happening I’m sorry that things are so hard right now That’s awful. I’m sorry you’re going through this I’m here whenever you need to talk That sounds really tough, is there anything I can do to help? It’s ok that you’re struggling with this

Silk dress, Asceno. Cardigan, Max Mara

Take a deep breath Taking control of the breath is being hailed as the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;next big wellness revolutionâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;, promising to improve sleep, boost immunity and reduce stress. Elle Blakeman meets expert Richie Bostock, aka The Breath Guy, to understand why we should add conscious breathing to our to-do list

‘Breathwork is meditation for people who can’t meditate’ – Richie Bostock

nhale slowly through the nose and imagine that you are sucking up any feelings of stress, worry, density, anger or frustration,’ Richie Bostock is saying. ‘Then exhale and visualise all those feelings being released out to mother nature who can deal with them.’ I sigh my breath out dramatically, picturing dark clouds of stress leaving my body for good, it’s tiring and strangely emotional. The wellness industry has a habit of taking things that once came naturally – sleep, daydreaming, eating when hungry – rebranding them and selling them back to us at a premium, supported by endless experts, gadgets and apps. Which is to say I was perhaps slightly sceptical about the recent hype surrounding the ‘art of breathwork’. Surely this one of the increasingly few things in life we don’t actually have to think about, let alone work at? Well, yes and no. Breathing is the only system in the body that works both unconsciously and can also be consciously controlled. Cultivating an awareness of our breath can connect us to how we think and feel like nothing else can. ‘We take between 19,000 and 27,000 breathes every day and most people don’t pay attention to a single one,’ says Bostock, a breathwork coach, author and speaker. ‘The world would be so different if we did.’ With a calm, easy-going demeanor and kind open face that looks largely untroubled by the world, he’s a walking advert for the balancing nature of his practice. ‘I really believe this is the next big wellness revolution,’ he explains. ‘It’s all about coming back to the body and allowing it to heal itself.’ At a time when many of us consult some form of technology to see how we are feeling, rather than checking in with our bodies (sleep trackers,

calorie counting apps and so on), the idea of going backwards – in a good way – sounds rather wonderful. According to Bostock and many other breathwork experts, everything from traffic to late nights in the office and even tight jeans have conspired to take us away from our natural breathing patterns into something altogether less healthy. Compare how a baby or toddler breathes – tiny bellies instinctively expanding to fill the lungs with air – with our more clipped adult style which often starts and ends in the chest, the breath being one of the first casualties of stress or overwhelm. ‘It’s already in our language – we use phrases like “it took my breath away” or “take a deep breath” – we know that our breath makes a difference to how we feel,’ explains Bostock. ‘We all experience trauma everyday – even if we’re not always aware of it,’ he says. ‘Micro traumas accumulate – the traffic jam, the upsetting news report, the run-in with a colleague – and affect the way we breathe. But when you breathe consciously you can access what is happening with this unconscious part of you. By doing this you can process these traumas as they happen, providing

an emotional release. In effect you complete that nervous system experience and close the circle.’ Essentially, we can turn down the volume on the thinking brain and let the body take over to physically process stress. ‘Breathwork is meditation for people who can’t meditate,’ suggests Bostock. ‘In meditation you’re using your mind to get a hold of your mind, which is a really big ask for some people, but with breathwork you’re using your body to get hold of your mind, you can physically do something.’ ‘And what’s so exciting is anyone can do it. You don’t need anything but yourself, you don’t need to be super fit and it’s free!’ Bostock has just written his first book on the subject: ‘Exhale – How to use breathwork to find calm, supercharge your health and perform at your best’, a comprehensive guide to the art of breathwork honed over years of research that has taken him to teachers and gurus all over the world. ‘I wanted to try and create a map of the territory,’ he explains. ‘There is a lot out there, but no one was able to put it all together in one place before, so I took it upon myself to do that.’ His own interest in breath work started when

‘The first step is to just acknowledge the fact that your breath makes a difference and be aware of what it does’

his beloved dad was diagnosed with MS. With no medical cure, he set about looking for alternative therapies and lifestyle changes that could help manage the illness. ‘It always amazes me how just one book, documentary or podcast can completely change the course of your life. This is exactly what happened to me,’ he says. In the course of his research he came across a podcast interview with a ‘crazy Dutch man’ named Wim Hof. Commonly referred to as ‘the Iceman’, Hof holds more than 20 world records relating to coldexposure activities and has developed a method – The Wif Hof Method – that involves a combination of cold exposure (cold-water swimming, ice baths and so on) and breathwork to enhance mental and physical fitness. ‘It really was just a gut feeling, I felt like there was something there and I just had a strong urge to go on one of his courses. I remember thinking: “Well the worst that can happen is that I’ll get some cool stories about stomping around in the snow in Poland”. What happened there changed his life. ‘Most people go on about the cold exposure because that’s the ‘sexy’ headline stuff, but I was bowled over by the breathwork, it was just profound. I couldn’t believe the array of emotions that came up when doing it, it took me completely by surprise,’ he says. When he returned home, he was so enthusiastic about what he had learned that he managed to convince his dubious father to try out the breathwork and start taking cold showers (this, in combination with a change in diet has stopped any progression in his MS for years). He also started researching again. ‘I have one of those personalities that when I find something interesting, I become obsessed,’ he explains. After realising what a change the breathwork

from the Wim Hof method made to his life he set about seeing if there were any other techniques he could explore. ‘I didn’t know where to start so I just googled ‘breathwork’ – the word wasn’t even in my lexicon before I heard that podcast – and I discovered people from all over the world doing this in different ways.’

He became a dedicated student of the practice, spending the next five years travelling all over the world meeting guides in India, Sri Lanka, Thailand and South America, and studying under some of the world’s most revered breath masters including Wim Hof, Judith Kravitz and Dan Brule. Following this, Bostock decided to settle in London and to set up

his own company – Xhale breathwork – in order to share what he had learned to others. ‘My passion is trying to understand how all these different breathing techniques affect us. And this is what I love to share and teach - breathwork design for some sort of healing or experience. Bostock’s great strength is his clear enthusiasm for his craft along with an uncanny ability to translate many ancient ideas and practices into something totally accessible for any level. His work has an air of London cool about it, sell-out workshops packed with millennials taking place in venues like Ministry of Sound and Shoreditch yoga studios. He has also launched a subscription app – Flourish – to allow converts to practice at home or on-the-go (useful for those of us often triggered by day-to-day stress). People often cry in his classes, which he takes as a compliment. Most report leaving feeling lighter than they have in years, having shed years of toxic energy and emotions. For those of us who are totally new to the practice, how would he recommend starting? ‘The first step is to just acknowledge the fact that your breath makes a difference and be aware of what it does. So notice when it gets deeper or more shallow, notice it first, then you can start to change it.’ ‘It’s such an empowering practice. It’s the quickest way to influence your nervous system so we can get to influence ourselves and deal with our emotions in real time. But the most important thing is to have fun. There’s no need to push it too hard, just follow what feels right for you, enjoy it and just feel good for no reason other than you are breathing.’ Exhale: How to Use Breathwork to Find Calm, Supercharge Your Health and Perform at Your Best by Richie Bostock is out now

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted timeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - Bertrand Russell

ng t i i k

Emma Johnson looks at how to create digital space in your life, while not entirely rejecting the technology we all needâ&#x20AC;Ś

n d i s c o n

e all know that technology has leeched too far into every aspect of our lives. We have devices and apps for everything from listening to the radio, doing our shopping and managing our home security, to boiling the kettle, editing photos and tracking our pets’ movements. Its impact on our lives spreads far and wide – not least damaging our eyes from the constant exposure to screens, over-stimulating our brains with constant blue light and compromising our posture with an increasingly sedentary lifestyle. Worse still, our reliance on social media has reached worrying proportions. And the science is scary. MRI scans have shown that using social media, especially in moments when a picture or post is liked, lights up the same receptors in our brain that drugs, alcohol and gambling do. When social media users receive positive feedback, such as likes, their brains fire off dopamine receptors in the ventral tegmental area (VTA) is one of the primary parts responsible for determining the rewards system in people’s bodies. Social media – specifically getting approval on social media – is quite literally addictive. ‘With social media so tightly connected to individuals’ rewards systems, users should realise the power – and possibility for abuse – of the platforms they use. Things like gambling and narcotic drugs have the power to rule over the brain’s rewards system in a similar capacity,’ says a recent article by King University on the psychology of social media. Clearly, we need to disconnect. But how? Our world is technical Rare is the modern worker who doesn’t use technology in some capacity or another. And in many cases, technology can be an incredible force for good. It means we are more aware of the lives of others all over the world, we can become better informed about the issues close to our heart, and more aware of those that need our attention. We can connect and find like-minded others, creating a network that geography sometimes doesn’t make possible. We can learn to meditate, get exercise tips, read magazines, find recipes, access support remotely, discover blogs, music, films we love. And more. During lockdown, it has been an enormous source of support for many, and it has enabled millions of people to continue to do their jobs from home during unprecedented change. ‘The technology isn’t the problem, it’s how we choose to use it. And it is a choice,’ says Brooke McLary, author of Slow: Live Life Simply. She points out that we choose to carry our phones in our pockets, to keep them with us when we eat, to update statuses before we say good morning to the people we love. But, she argues, it’s a choice we don’t have to make. There is another way.

‘Next time you reach for your phone, ask yourself: “Is this making me feel better? ‘

Setting limits The most basic way to start is by setting limits and clear boundaries that you are not prepared to negotiate with. Make a commitment to separate your work and leisure use. During the working day, use your devices between specified hours. Then allow yourself one hour of social use outside of your working day. You can set up a simple app to track your use and you can even set time limits to kick you out of your social media accounts when your time is up. Make family rules too – no phones at the table or in front of the television, and have an evening cut-off for when you stop using your phone. And keep your phone out of your bedroom too. Also limit the way you access things to one device – audiobooks and digital books on an iPhone, social media and websites on your laptop – this one trick will save you hours of pointless scrolling. Getting distance Time away or on holiday when you don’t have access to your phone can be really empowering and help you assess and change your relationship with your phone. At Samphire Festival in the UK there is strict no-phone policy, while another global festival is focused entirely on digital detoxing. Restival describes itself as a weekend of reconnection, ‘to yourself, one another and the world around you’. With foundations in tribal wisdom, the aim is to give visitors a break from modern living in remote locations such as the Sahara Desert and Arizona, where there is no wifi, so a phone can only be used to take pictures. In Wales, Unplugged Weekend runs regular group experiences to help people manage their digital habits and lead more balanced, healthy lifestyles. ‘People who don’t have their mobile phones find it easier to connect with one another,’ says founder Lucy Pearson. Asking the big questions One of the ways you can be more mindful with your phone use is by asking yourself clear questions when you’re using it. It takes practise, but the more you do it, the more you’ll start to recognise that addictive behaviour, and be able to change it. Next time you

reach for your phone, ask yourself: ‘Is this making me feel better?’ ‘Am I avoiding something?’ ‘Should I be asleep/working/parenting?’ ‘Is there someone here who needs my attention (instead of my phone)?’ ‘Can this wait?’ ‘What I am learning by being on my phone right now?’ Being honest with yourself about these answers will mean you can start to take back control of your digital use. Toning down the noise Get rid of as many apps as you can, you really don’t need so many. File them into sections so they’re not only neater, but harder to find. Take games off – play a board game instead or read a book; make a commitment to remove apps you haven’t opened for 30 days, and put all your social media apps on final screen of your smart phone. Finally, turn off all notifications – nothing is that urgent. If you’re working, put your phone in another room, and always have it on silent with the vibrate function off. Technological Goals We love Brooke McLary’s idea about setting a standard for the way you use your phone, ensuring that it adds to your life – and that of those around you – rather than taking away from it. ‘We need to make our use of technology intentional,’ she writes. ‘Use it well. Use it to make life better. Then put it down and go do something else.’ The one word we need to remember each time when we’re engaging with our phone, is mindfulness. Ask yourself, each time you reach for you phone: ‘What is the intention behind doing this?’ ‘What can I achieve for myself or someone else that will bring something positive to my life?’ That could be a simple and varied as paying a bill, sending a supportive message to a friend, opening a meditation track or sharing something inspiring from your day on social media. All these things are great, they’re good for you and for others. But, when you’re done, put the phone down, walk away and find a face-to-face connection with someone that you love. Remember, this is what matters most.

Calm in a teacup How the simple pleasure of enjoying tea can help you switch off by Annabelle Spranklen

he art of drinking tea has long been seen as a mindful practice, one you turn to when you need to press pause. Indeed the ‘tea break’ has become shorthand for a brief respite from our crazy, never-ending schedules. But where did the notion of taking a breather with a cup of tea really come from? Our affection for tea dates back to ancient China, where, according to legend, the mythological emperor Shennong discovered it in 2737 B.C. when the leaves from a nearby Camellia sinensis plant accidently fell into his pot of steaming hot water. For centuries, it was considered a medicinal herb, and it first became a popular beverage in the Tang Dynasty. It spread around Asia, and was eventually brought to Europe in the 17th century. However, it was Japanese philosopher, Sen no Rikyu, who turned it into the traditional tea ceremony we recognise today. Back in the sixteenth

century, he perfected the formal tea ceremony called chado, or ‘the Way of Tea’ calling for a return to wabi, which means simplicity and rustic beauty. During his era of warrior shoguns and samurai, the tea ceremony became a ritual for peace, an opportunity for balance and restraint. The most popular type of tea ceremonies are Gong Fu from China and Cha-no-yu from Japan. Though there are many cultural differences between the two, similarities include the art of simplicity and balance in form, movement and object. Once in ceremony, the tea becomes the central anchor point of the mind. From the processing of the tea to the way it is served, all aspects of a traditional tea ceremony demand time and care. Today the practice teaches both guests and hosts the concepts of harmony between tea, art, nature, organic materials and people. It’s also an appreciation for stillness and quiet contemplation. It’s little wonder then that this traditional

Japanese art has seen a recent resurgence of interest all over the world, with more of us keen to learn of how drinking tea can help us to slow down in our increasingly hectic lives. ‘Tea is the sunlight, moonlight and starlight, the rain, mountains and soil – and we are of the same,’ says Resham Daswani, a spiritual teacher and tea curator at Fivelements Habitat wellness centre in Hong Kong, a city retreat that opened last summer. ‘Instead of trying to get the world to fit our view, tea ceremonies help us see that we are part of an infinite expanding whole. This shift from ‘ego’ to ‘eco’ is the antidote to find our way back to our health, harmony and balance with the planet.’ The ceremony involves drinking cups of nourishing organic tea, each prepared and poured by Daswani in a ceremonial ritual passed down by generations of tea masters. The rite is all done in complete silence, followed by questions and reflection at the end.

‘Once in ceremony, the tea becomes the central anchor point of the mind’

Daswani’s journey to becoming a tea curator was an unconventional one. Born and raised in Hong Kong, she was all set on a career in fashion after graduating from London College of Fashion and was going to launch her own clothing line before she felt the desire to look into tea and stumbled upon the Tea Sage Hut in Taiwan. ‘I sat for my first tea ceremony and found it to be the most healing and nourishing encounter with truth and wisdom. I began to remember what it was like to live in harmony and align with the Dao (path). I could clearly see how all the dots in my life were connected, and with full surrender a clearer conscious picture began unfolding.’

During Daswani’s ceremonies, she hopes to help others explore what she calls ‘the sacred benefits of the leaf.’ ‘Newcomers who arrive for a meditative tea ceremony for the first time have often been drinking tea for most of their life and usually share that it is something consumed without any thought, and “tea and meditation” is relatively unheard of with the current generation, when in actuality tea and Zen are completely bound up in one another. The mind is a

very powerful tool and integrating practices that foster emotional awareness, cultivate gratitude and clarity and awareness are integral to mental wellness and tea has been doing this very powerfully for a long time.’ It’s not just busy Hongkongers who are turning to the ritual, over in LA, former model, actress and dancer Baelyn Elspeth runs ceremonies in the Santa Monica mountains for women looking to reap the wellness benefits. She’s become an Instagram hit, amassing over 60,000 fans including Hollywood producers, directors and even Paris Hilton, who follow her back-to-nature lifestyle. ‘All we’re doing is sitting down and drinking tea, some people would say it’s a complete waste of time’, says Elspeth. Of course, in the words of British philosopher Bertrand Russell, ‘The time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted time.’ So, whether you’re enjoying a cup at a traditional ceremony or at home as you take a moment to observe, tea drinking can be an easy and simple way to bring about a daily dose of meditation into your life – all you need is hot water, a mug and some excellent tea. The latter? We can help with that. In the Kintsugi Tea Collection, we have brought together a selection of seven delicious teas and flavours from all over the world to suit any time of day or mindful moment. Take a moment and enjoy.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patienceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A nurturing space This year, more than ever, the spaces we call home have become our sanctuaries. Emma Johnson meets Michelle Ogundehin, author of Happy Inside: How to Harness the Power of Home for Health and Happiness to talk about creating places that shelter and soothe

‘As far as I’m concerned, the primary purpose of home is to be your safe place in the world’ -Michelle Ogundehin

an’s home might have always been his castle, but a woman’s home has always been her sanctuary. Home is somewhere we can rest, create, work, keep our family safe, feed our loved ones, shelter them from the weather, offer comfort in hard times and celebrate in good ones. Inviting people into our homes is an act of wonderful generosity, while retreating to our homes when we are sad is an act of considerable self-love. Throughout the pandemic sweeping the planet this year, we have all had to spend more time than ever in our homes. They have had to function as so much more than they used to – becoming office, playground, nursery, classroom, gym, restaurant, cinema and yoga studio. They’ve become multifaceted spaces, in which we spend all of our days. And, as we’ve lived in them, we’ve seen their flaws. ‘The many things the apartment leaves to be desired – cheap fixtures, landlord-beige walls, and an ancient tile kitchen floor that never quite looks clean – have become unavoidably obvious to me as I’ve sat inside of it for the better part of this year,’ says Amanda Mull, writing about her lockdown experience in The Atlantic recently. ‘And the longer I sit, the more the flaws taunt me.’ The scrutiny our homes were under forced many of us to make changes, redecorating, painting rooms, fixing things, building sheds and so on. But the

impact of these changes wasn’t just cosmetic. As we started to invest in our homes, not just financially, but emotionally, we started to acknowledge how important they were to us. ‘Of all the things that I’ve done to better my apartment, soothe my anxieties, or occupy my time during the pandemic, nothing has worked quite as well as replacing my kitchen faucet,’ says Mull. ‘The project cost $75 and took about an hour – but installing it was a reminder that there are still some problems that can be solved by one person wielding the right tool.’ Fixing, cleaning, tidying, window-dressing, renovating, refurbishing, replacing, upcycling. These nesting instincts - which for decades have been buried deep under deadlines, pressure, climbing the career ladder, balancing the books and keeping up with Jones’ – came bubbling back up to the surface as we sought solace and comfort in the confusing, changing landscape of a worldwide pandemic. In retreating in this way, we all realised how valuable the spaces we live in are, and how much more attention we need to give them. ‘I think lockdown has proved without a doubt that happy home-making isn’t frivolous,’ explains Michelle Ogundehin, whose beautiful book

Happy Inside: How to Harness the Power of Home for Health and Happiness was released earlier this year, just in time to guide homeowners through creating spaces that nurtured and soothed. And in this act of nesting, we realised something really vital. That not only are our homes something to be cherished. They are something even more important than that - they are shelter, sanctuary, safety. In parts of America, lockdown was known as ‘sheltering in place’, while elsewhere we created ‘bubbles’, all encouraged by entreaties to #stayhome. Wherever we were, encased in our four walls, we formed safe spaces that protected us from the outside world, offering sanctuary – somewhere to go when there was nowhere else to go. ‘What surrounds you can make, or break you,’ says Ogundehin. ‘After all, during lockdown, did you feel safe and supported, or trapped and suffocated? The good news is that you can reverse engineer this power, mastering yourself by mastering the space in which you live. In this way your home can become your most powerful ally, your secret superpower in an increasingly uncertain world.’

Heart of the home

Harmony throughout When it comes to creating a sanctuary, Ogundehin says that this is about creating harmony throughout your home, not just in select corners or rooms, so that your entire home can be considered your retreat. ‘Sanctuary is solace, quiet and calm in the eye of the storm. A retreat in which to restore and rejuvenate mind, body and soul. And home can be all of these things with careful consideration for everything that surrounds you, alongside an attitude of conscious curation.’ Of course, each room in the home has an important role to fulfil, from the kitchen which tends to be about creativity, heart and health, to the bathrooms which form important parts of our morning and evening rituals and the home office which needs to offer some kind of physical separation from the day to day of home life. And don’t forget the less used or considered spaces which are actually incredibly important. The entrance hall, for instance, needs to function as a conduit to both the calm inside, and the pace of the world outside. Think both about how you feel as you leave, as well as how you arrive. ‘Is it emblematic of you? Does it signal who lives here? Or is it a tumble of coats and piles of post. Your first impression on stepping over your threshold has the power to affect your mood, so how do you want to feel?’ In creating a sanctuary, the bedroom of course is one of the most important rooms in the house. Keep furniture here to a minimum, armchairs just invite piles of clothes, says Ogundehin. Think about the view from your bed, keeping bold design for the headboard and the wall behind your bed, while also think about lighting, soothing colours and if the space lends itself to your morning ritual – do you do yoga each morning? Then you’ll need floor space and a rug to do it on. Do you read each evening? Then you’ll need a calm light to read by which doesn’t over-stimulate the brain. 39

Ogundehin’s book is one of the first to find a balance between interiors and wellbeing. Organised into sections that focus on things such as energy, air, nurture, welcome, intention and retreat she takes you through creating a home that is safe and supportive in many different ways, including many you might not have thought of. One whole chapter is dedicated to removing as many harmful toxins from your home – from changing your candles to soy, filtering your water, investing in green plants, ‘veritable air-cleaning ninjas’ and using non-toxic cleaning products. ‘Research shows that the air inside the average home is often more polluted than a busy street corner outside,’ she says. ‘It’s a shocking reality caused by a build-up of common toxins and allergens that are either evaporating from our furniture, drycleaning and paint, or being emitted by pets, and common household products. So, one of the absolute best things you can do for yourself at home is to freshen the air.’ Another chapter looks at flow – suggesting replacing sharpedged tables with round ones and ensuring the hallway is always clear of mess; while she also tackles the tricky topic of clutter, storage and possessions. According to Ogundehin, it’s space not size that is important. Even in the smallest home, if you are mindful of your possessions and think about flow and energy, you can still be thoughtful with the space you have. Get rid of multiples of things you have, fruit bowls you don’t like, anything ugly or broken. If you are keeping something for sentimentality, consider whose sentiments you’re meeting here – yours, who has to live with it every day, or someone else’s. This is your home, you can have it in whatever you want. ‘The path to peace is not found through possessions,’ Ogundehin reminds us. ‘It’s found through health, happiness, friends, food and family. If anything can be taken from these recent times of turmoil, it should be this.’

Colours and texture Choosing a colour and texture palette is also a really important part of creating cohesion in your home. From a set of core colours, with added accent colours, and then a combination of humble textures, favoured materials and signature finishes, as well as wood, tiles, stone and flooring, Ogundehin explains how to create a palette that reflects not only your personal taste but which is inspired by things that make you feel relaxed, inspired and calm. ‘Your home is the place where you can truly be yourself without fear of judgment, surrounded by the things, colours, materials, finishes and furnishings that have personal meaning to you,’ she says. ‘It’s only when we feel strengthened and supported by our environment, that we can become our best selves.’ In a nod to this idea, Ogundehin also says that we must consider each of our senses, throughout the home. From smooth door handles and cool surfaces that feel nice to touch, to the smells from diffusers and the taste of food cooking in a cosy kitchen, as well as the sounds of birds and nature through open windows or the quiet burble of classical music from the radio. Be mindful of how everything in your home stimulates the senses, and that it’s creating positive feelings, not ones of overwhelm or stress. Need some quiet? Turn the radio off? That scent giving you a headache? Blow the candle out. Hate using that cutlery because it jabs your hands? Get rid of it.

Spaces for everyone Ogundehin also talks about creating sanctuaries for children, ensuring they have space to create and grow in their own home, not separated from the ‘adult’ spaces, but a vital part of them. It is an art to find harmony together, but it can be done. ‘I’m really uncomfortable with the idea of keeping children separated from the main body of the home in any way. After all, is it not their home too? A few storage baskets can easily deal with stray toys, and personally, I love to decorate with children’s artwork. I’ve even professionally framed some of my favourite pieces from when my son was very young. It has such a joyful naivety to it. Plus, don’t underestimate the boost to your child’s self-esteem to see their nascent creativity honoured in this way.’

Your sanctuary The meaning of the word sanctuary is a refuge. A place that can rescue us from persecution or protect us from danger. While the persecutions and dangers of the world outside may have changed over the centuries, the importance of the space beyond your front door has not. As Ogundehin explains in her last chapter on ‘acceptance’, we must allow honesty and truth into our homes, to ensure they are places where we do not have to pretend. ‘We must have a desire to wake up and listen to those internal narratives that push us where we do not want to go,’ she writes. ‘Bearing honest witness to our journey and thereby owning our personal stories is the only way to be truly ‘at home’ with ourselves, and thus able to further enrich our lives with the creation of a space that fulfils our real need and expresses our true character.’ The endurance and challenge of lockdown has shown us that home must be a place of solace, openness and support. It cannot function as a sanctuary without these things. It is not just physical, but about the space for self that we create in our home. 42

T h i s Wo o d e d S a n c t u a r y Nature is not just a pretty diversion to be indulged in every now and again, it’s an essential element to achieve a healthy body and a sound mind. Alice Anderson explores how – and why – we need to get back to our roots

Original home We don’t just need nature, we’re part of it. We feel better when we stand in the woods because our bodies are literally healing as we breathe in the air. And we used to know this instinctively. Ancient man drew paintings on the walls of caves, depicting important flora and fauna. Our ancestors built shelter in small clearings, the trees a protective canopy, around and above. Later, we created ornamental gardens, monks planted green spaces around their monasteries and when we moved into cities, we built parks and planted in allotments. ‘Nature is our original home,’ explains author Horatio Clare whose book The Light in the Dark charts the importance of nature in his mental health journey. ‘From those first footprints found in Laetoli, Kenya, made 3.6 million years ago, to one of us walking in a wood or field today, humans are from and of nature and at fundamental level at one with it.’ Nature is all around us, and yet, despite this, we are more disconnected from it than ever before. Modern life – working long hours, materialism, overpopulation, over-development, fear, apathy – all of this has cauterised us from the natural world, ripped us out at the roots. Three out of four children in the UK spend less time outdoors than prisoners; we have lost close to 100,000 miles of hedgerows and 90 per cent of our wetlands, a rich and biodiverse habitat. Since the Second World War, our wild flower meadows have been reduced by 98% and since 1966 we have lost 40 million birds from our skies.

The point of disconnection Part of the problem is that we have to actively seek out nature now. ‘We have never been at this point of disconnection with the rest of nature before,’ writes Lucy Jones in Losing Eden. ‘Our behaviour has changed as the landscape winnowed. Simply put, we’ve moved inside. We live in cubicles, cars and tower blocks, spending on one to five per cent of our time outdoors. We’ve come used to surviving outside the rhythms of the natural world.’ We have developed ‘nature-deficit disorder’ – a phrase coined in 2005 by American writer Richard Louv, who used it to explain the impact that our increasingly indoor life was having on people’s health. And it’s no surprise that this alienation from nature has caused a severe and worrying mental health crisis. ‘If we are disconnected from the natural world, we are missing out on nourishment for our minds,’ continues Jones. ‘We are living in cosmic and social exile from other species and elements we’ve evolved alongside.’

n 1919, in a speech to Harvard University, the UK’s Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey shared with students what had brought him comfort at a time when the world was facing down the horror of unprecedented events. ‘In those dark days I found some support in the steady progress unchanged of the beauty of the seasons,’ he told the students. ‘Every year, as spring came back unfailing and unfaltering, the leaves came out with the same tender green, the birds sang, the flowers came up and opened, and I felt that a great power of nature for beauty was not affected by the war. It was like a great sanctuary into which we could go and find refuge.’ Man has always sought out nature. Initially, we lived amongst it – by the water, in the woods and on the earth – because we needed it to grow our food, build and heat our homes and nourish our bodies. This is no accident of fate. Our bodies typically contain more microbial cells than human ones, along with a diverse microbiota – created by exposure to elements in nature – which helps us fight heart disease, inflammation, mental illness and chronic conditions.

A natural sanctuary

The necessity of wildness Safe and well And yet, more and more evidence is emerging that we need nature in deeply fundamental ways. The more we connect with nature, the safer and happier we feel in it, and the more it becomes a sanctuary for body and mind. Science has shown that when we are in nature, and feeling safe and relaxed, our body diverts vital resources to growing, building and supporting our immune system. There is an actual chemical relationship between our wellbeing and our natural environment. ‘We need the vitamin D we get from sunlight, and the bacteria in the soil which elevates our levels of dopamine,’ says Clare. ‘And also the smell of pines and other trees and flowers which boosts serotonin and dopamine, as does listening to bird song or whales singing, being present at sunrises and sunsets.’ Warmed by the sun, soothed the breeze, drinking in colour and beauty, listening to the birds, we kickstart those neurons of joy in our brains. American naturalist and philosopher Henry David Thoreau wrote about the power of nature in the 19th century, referring to it as a tonic. ‘We need the tonic of wildness,” he said. “We require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be indefinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us. We can never have enough of nature.’

In the end, returning to nature is about returning to where we came from. And reconnecting with that wildness offers both the sanctuary of familiarity and belonging, but also the knowledge of a world unconstrained by walls or maps or one-way systems. ‘Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out that going to the mountains is going home; that wildness is a necessity,’ wrote John Muir in Our National Parks, published in 1901. Now is the time to go back to what we know. Walking in the woods, swimming in the lakes, paddling in the sea, digging in the garden, climbing the mountains, touching the trees, thanking the earth for our food, looking up to the stars and down to the beetles. Even if you live in an urban location, find a tree, a plant outside of your window, and acknowledge it, connect with its pattern of growth and change through the seasons, see it as part of your life. Get wet- and cold-weather gear and get outside every single day, feel the rain on your face, the wind in your lungs, see bright sunlight and dark clouds. Take your round-the-block run to a park, meet friends to walk along the beach, breathe deeply and look around you, be still, observe, wonder. ‘Walking, looking, listening and being fully present in the natural world gives the priceless gift of sanctuary,’ says Clare. ‘Even when it’s freezing and blowing and pelting down, nature strips away the deadly illusion of being human… gently, mightily and eternally, she teaches us our absurd insignificance, and our extraordinary, random fortune in being alive at all.’

Nature has so much to give us back if we could only return to it. In the first instance it brings an incredible level of perspective. Climb a mountain or walk along a river and you realise you are part of something huge and timeless. ‘That understanding, that we are only tiny pebbles in the vast and incomprehensible river of life, is invaluable. It is true perspective, it is deep harmony, and above all it is sanctuary. This frees you, wonderfully, from the misconception that we are at the centre of the world,’ says Clare. ‘The greatest consolation of nature, I find, is its power to say - look, you are tiny, your lives are short. You don’t really matter. Now, enjoy.’ And from freedom comes hope. Nature reminds us that this too shall pass. Anyone that has seen a weed break through the concrete of a tennis court knows that resilience and strength can be found throughout our natural world, and also in ourselves. While planting things reminds us of the future, of the possibilities ahead. In the trenches on the battlefields of WW1 soldiers planted flowers. Why? ‘To plant seeds is to believe you will get to see them grow,’ writes Lucy Jones. ‘The leaves would uncurl, the birds would sing, the flowers would open. Nature would endure long after the war had ended.’ For people recovering from stress and PTSD, as well as depression, the sanctuary found in horticulture is very real. Nature also reminds us of patience, trust and the importance of slowing down. Nature can be slow and steadfast, or quick and striking, but either way it doesn’t fight against its destiny. The wisteria blooms and fades – a dazzling few days of glory; while the oak sends out roots and settles in for entire centuries. ‘To stand with an oak is a lesson in patience, in the slow-burn, in trust, in taking things one day at a time,’ says Jones. ‘It is to be in the presence of eternity and infinity… aspects of the natural world also change and morph and have renewed significance in tune with the unfolding narrative of a person’s life.’

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GROUNDING Grounding or ‘earthing’ is a therapeutic technique designed to reconnect you to the earth. Scientists believe that certain electrical charges from the earth can have positive effects on your body. Grounding can be as simple as walking barefoot through grass or mud, or actually lying on the earth – it could be sand, grass or pebbles – the sensory element is important. Or simply a session of wild swimming (see above). The important thing is to get your body physically close to the earth, and to let the sensory experience of sight, sound, smell, touch – and even taste – be a meditative moment of contemplation and connection.

WILD SWIMMING Cold-water or wild swimming in lakes, seas or rivers is one of the best ways to quite literally immerse yourself in nature. Wild swimming activates our sympathetic nervous system and gives us a feeling of endorphins, but also reduces inflammation and stress hormones, while the lapping of the water and the rhythmic movements of swimming can be very meditative. F O R E ST BAT H I N G Popular in Japan, shinrin-yoku – or forest bathing – is about engaging the senses and involves spending at least two hours in the forest, inhaling the scents of the trees, listening to the sounds of the leaves falling, animals moving and so on.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us beginâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - Mother Theresa

The Beauty of Space

In the quest for emotional space, nothing beats the sanctuary of a carefully crafted beauty r o u t i n e s a y s w r i t e r K a t y Yo u n g

‘O

ur task must be to free ourselves... by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty,’ Albert Einstein once wrote. Expanding our minds and finding sanctuary in the great outdoors is a familiar concept for all of us. But in 2020, with our front doors now closed and wild space shut off to so many of us, we suddenly had to look for new ways to find inner peace which had to start, well, within. Thank goodness then that the biggest space of all is of course that which we can create in our minds, as extolled by Buddha and his meditative teachings. ‘If you are quiet enough, you will hear the flow of the universe. You will feel its rhythm. Go with this flow. Happiness lies ahead. Meditation is key,’ he taught us. What bliss then to have the ability to find a comfy cushion, close our eyes and calm our minds, just like that. Not so much however for those, like me, for whom the sheer thought of considered rumination, let alone sitting cross-legged for more than five minutes, is enough to send our mood into a tailspin. For people like us, space doth not the meditation make.

For people like us, there is the beauty ritual. Ahhhhhh, the sweet spot between doing absolutely nothing and something, where the sanctuary of a spa bed with its plump pillows, a bath filled with mood altering essential oils, or a massage by candlelight, trips us into that restful state, where suddenly without any effort, we find the same clarity of thought – a kind meditation if you will. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once noted; ‘Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.’ But it is not just about the big slow down that a beauty treatment brings, which of course it does, moreover it is the state of healing triggered by the power of touch. Experts refer to this as the parasympathetic phase, whereby the nervous system switches into its curative and relaxation role just as it does during experienced meditation – one easily recognise as that deeply cosseting stage just before we nod off. (And don’t worry if you do by the way, a good therapist takes that as the highest form of flattery, as she or he has skilfully entered your body into a deep therapeutic state, which has far less to do with lack of sleep and far more to do with your biological needs). As woo woo as it sounds, there is science behind this theory; touch has been shown to release the

hormone oxytocin, aka ‘The Love Drug’, as well as dopamine and serotonin, also responsible for dialling up our happy. Conversely, massage also reduces cortisol, our stress hormone. In a touch-deprived modern society like ours, where many scientists suspect we are suffering from the damaging psychological effects of ‘skin hunger’, is there any better excuse to book in for beauty? Depending where you are on the Richter scale of holistic treatment enthusiasm, something a little more alternative might expand your mind further. The most stoic amongst us often find it far easier to let go, or god forbid ‘shed a tear’, when in the safe confines of a Chakra shifting, energy-clearing treatment. I have a good friend who books in for Chakra treatment to empty her otherwise locked up tear ducts regularly, so that she is left feeling much lighter and contented. For the cynics amongst us who don’t think twice about booking in for a deep-tissue massage to release tight shoulders caused by tension and tiredness, ask yourself why this is any different? Because it isn’t; our body holds on all kinds of emotion beyond stress in our upper back, our muscles and surrounding tissue often shunting and freezing into a fixed state following shock, trauma,

It is important to understand that wellbeing starts with conscious effort from within, often by giving our own body a little more time, and a lot more nurturing

sadness and horror – which, thanks to muscle memory, we can’t easily let go of. It can later take a skilled therapist, those ones with ‘magic hands’, to tap into the deep tissue with an acupuncture needle, or perhaps some acupressure, to release that trauma for us, tears n’ all. (To save yourself an awkward phone call oh cynical one, what you want to look for is a therapist well practiced in ‘soma emotional release’ or SER as it is commonly known in the industry – ‘emotional detoxing’ to you and I.) If you can’t find space in your diary, let alone your mind, for such deep cleansing, there are rituals we can practice at home for starters. Perhaps a little ‘third eye’ acupressure massage neatly mixed with your daily double cleanse? Using your middle fingers, press firmly between your brows just where your nose meets your forehead, holding for ten seconds and releasing. Repeat several times for feelings of calm - and when you get the hang of it, any signs of nervousness. More simple still is the ‘practice’ of breathing. A friend refers to her weekly practice as her ‘appointment’ with herself, as if it were something essential that must be put in the diary, for the health of her mind and body. Often easier to get your whirring head round than meditation, thanks to a definite

focus, breath work will also help shift old, stagnant energy which is stuck, while creating new mental space. Start with a daily five minute ‘box breathing’ exercise, gently inhaling in through your nose and down to your throat, lungs and belly to a count of four, holding for four and out through the mouth for four, perhaps repeating a mantra or word you like to distract you. Work up to 20 minutes a day as you begin to find peace in the practice. Still to soon? Make it simpler still by running yourself a bath and lying back for ten minutes, preferably adding six drops of frankincense oil to promote a sense of grounding, peace and connectedness (in fact so multifaceted is this oil, aromatherapists famously say; ‘When in doubt get Frankie out’). While you might think you are simply washing, according to the studies you will also be lowering your blood pressure and signs of depression, whilst you will also be practicing the art of stillness, which unless we schedule it in, won’t happen. In fact, even when the world does open itself up to us again, it is important to understand that wellbeing starts with conscious effort from within, often by giving our own body a little more time, and a lot more nurturing. As Buddha reminds us; ‘Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.’

Kintsugi triesâ&#x20AC;Ś I l a Ku n d a l i n i B a c k T h e r ap y Annabelle Spranklen reports on a holistic spa treatment

“”

‘It’s hard to be mindful on demand and the truth is, many of us struggle with the idea of doing nothing’

ave you ever laid down on a therapist’s bed and told yourself ‘OK, during this treatment I will most definitely relax and maybe even nod off?’ Except you end up thinking about needing a wee, that annoying itch on your left toe and whether or not you cancelled your Amazon Prime in time. Nothing seems to be out of bounds during a spa treatment, well, if you’re anything like me that is. The truth is, many of us struggle with the idea of doing nothing. In 2014, the University of Virginia held an experiment. They left some students alone in a lab, deprived them of any kind of external sensory stimuli for a few minutes and gave them the option of pushing a button to receive a mild electric shock. What did they do? 67% of them pushed that button showing that most of us would rather feel pain than idleness. We’re constantly told we need to be mindful, that we need to create some mental space and stop and slow down for our own sanity – but it’s easier said than done. It’s hard to be mindful on demand when we’re pretty terrible at it. So how do we make it easier? Can someone else do mindfulness for us? It turns out, yes. Luckily, there’s a new trend of mindful experiences designed to do exactly that. One such example is Ila’s Kundalini Back Therapy,

designed for ‘emotionally exhausted souls.’ Naturally, upon booking, I’d assumed it was just another generic, knot-melting massage, one I’d leave feeling chilled out and slightly lighter on the shoulders, but nothing much more than that. The first surprise came when my therapist asked whether I knew much about chakras. I was honest – I’m not a huge spiritual person and I’ve always viewed alternative therapies as slightly woo-woo – not for ‘level-headed’ people like me. So, there I was, lying on the bed, nose down, trying my best not to fill my brain with trivial todo lists. She asked me to take three deep breaths then moved down to my feet, lathering a foot scrub over my heels and soles which was followed by the sensation of a warm hug of a cloth. Then her hands began moving up my legs as if she was playing an instrument, tapping and rubbing as she went. She wasn’t easing out the knots or asking me about the pressure, this was already feeling different. My mind was still very much wandering at this point, so far, so normal for me. That was until her hands reached my upper back. Wherever my head was at the point, there was an abrupt shift. It was as if someone switched off the button and I suddenly felt a loss of control, it was black, I felt as if I was climbing something. Out of nowhere, a wave came

over me and I began sobbing uncontrollably into the bed. I remember being very aware of the crying but I couldn’t stop it, it felt like a release of some kind, one I could not explain. As someone who finds it incredibly hard to switch off, the treatment had a profound effect on me. After the experience, I was desperate to understand what happened, to make sense of it all. My therapist said that through chakra healing she was activating and channelling the Kundalini – the dormant energy at the base of the spine. This released tension and negativity that may have been there for years, sometimes even since birth, and my body was brought back to a state of awareness and balance. She explained that my emotional outburst was a reaction to her opening my heart chakra and it’s something many women experience during the treatment. Afterwards, I felt a sense of mental clarity, a feeling of immense relief and peacefulness. For 60 minutes, this treatment helped me retreat from others and from my own busy mind. It was mindfulness for people who don’t do mindfulness, where you’re given a helping hand in letting go that’s almost too impossible to resist. And it worked, I’m the proof.

Kundalini Stillness, from £160, The Lanesborough Club & Spa, London 54

The new black Bri g ht en up bl ac k thi s s e a s o n w it h r ic h e m bellis h m e n ts , l ac e heel s and lo ts a n d lo ts o f s e q uin s . . .

Photography Helene Sandberg Stylist Anat Dychtwald

Tulle and lace dress, The Whole 9 Yards, POA Vintage earrings, Dolce&Gabbana, ÂŁ395 56

Dress, Zimmerman ÂŁ1,400 Sandals, Zimmerman, POA

Slik pleated dress, DSQUARED2, POA Louboutin Nappa Shiny heels, Â£775 Choker, Dior choker, POA

Silk dress with unicorn embellishments , Vionnete, ÂŁ2100 Henriettra lace heels, Louboutin, ÂŁ815

London Sequin Tiara Jumpsuit, Temperley, £1295 Gold earrings, Kate Spade, £85

Pleated sleeve blouse, Monographie, £485 Monographie vest, both from Browns, £270 Smoking trousers, Tiger of Sweden, £169 Gold brooch, Emanuel Ungaro, POA Leather and ponyskin belt, Agnona, £565

Stretch woven top and skirt, David Koma, ÂŁ785

S o a k i t a l l u pÂ By Claire Brayford From anxiety to sleeplessness â&#x20AC;&#x201C; our bodies and minds are enduring an unprecedented toll. Carve some wellness rituals into your day with these simple but powerful tools...

THE BALANCING DIFFUSER Balancing Room Diffuser, £67, Susanne Kaufmann Scent is such an important part of relaxation, and who better to transport you outside of those same four walls than cult holistic skincare brand Susanne Kaufmann, which hails from Austria’s crisp Bregenz mountains. The new ‘Balancing’ room diffuser has been blended to evoke the Austrian tradition of welcoming guests into your home with the rich scent of mood-enhancing incense. THE BEAUTY RESTORER Clear quartz beauty restorer, £39, Hayo’u A great way to relieve tension in your face and jaw before bed is with a new range of healing crystal tools by Hayo’u. They harness the ancient Chinese self-massage technique of Gua Sha, removing heat from the body, calming the mind and improving energy flow. Including rose quartz, jade and now clear quartz, the tools work with the acupressure points and lymphatic system in the face to sculpt, plump and ultimate relax your face. THE NIGHT CREAM La Potion Infinie, £158, Argentum There is something incredibly potent about Argentum’s balancing face cream. Its patented formula, which harnesses the healing power of silver with DNA HP, has had amazing results in clinical trials on acne, wrinkles and skin texture. We love that it is both natural and restorative, but also scientifically powerful and superhydrating. It also comes with one of 12 archetype cards that invite you to have a moment of self-reflection. THE BATH OIL Bath oil, £36.50, Olverum There is an art to drawing the perfect bath and no one should be without a capful of Olverum’s decadent bath oil. Highly concentrated with 10 pure essential oils, it fills the room with a therapeutic pine scent combined with rosemary, lemon, lavender, verbena, juniper and eucalyptus. Feel the stress ebbing from your tired limbs, allowing you to breath deeply. It will make you sleep like a baby. THE CANDLES Swirl stack candle, £275, Tom Dixon What better way to cast an air of magic and brighten the room with a glowing flame than Tom Dixon’s new sculptural stack and ball candle collection. The delicious unisex fragrance captures the uplifting notes of the forest with refreshing green stem accord, joyous floral notes of geranium and lily as well as soothing base notes of patchouli, cedarwood and moss. THE BODY BRUSH Suvé body brush, £140, Shaquda An essential daily ritual to stimulate the lymphatic system is body brushing, and it does not get more gentle and luxurious than with Shaquda’s Suvé design. Made by expert craftsmen in Kumano, which has been Japan’s most famous brush-making town since the mid-19th century, each of the goat hairs fitted into the walnut handle is hand-selected. There is also a ‘short’ design to use on your face, neck and décolletage. Practical and beautiful. THE BATH SALTS Bath salts, £76, Costa Brazil Need to reset? Let us introduce sustainable beauty brand Costa Brazil’s new hydrating bath salts. A unique blend of Epsom and Mineral sea salts, detoxifying Brazilian White Clay and vitamin C-rich Camu Camu, it also contains the beauty world’s latest wonder ingredient CBD, which has been shown to help reduce anxiety and depression as well as promote healthier looking skin. It’s time to ease the body and bring back a state of calm. THE HEALTHY-AGEING SUPPLEMENT One month Luxury Starter Kit, £80, Lumity Glossier skin, hair and nails, greater alertness and increased immunity as well as an all-round improved feeling of balance – these are just some of the benefits of Lumity’s 12-week supplement program. A potent dose of vitamins, minerals, omega-3 fatty acids – all in compostable resealable pouches – have been clinically proven to support healthy ageing and boost your immunity by working with your body’s own circadian rhythm throughout the day.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardenersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - William Shakespeare

THE KINTSUGI KITCHEN Chef Alice Coulson has been working with Kintsugi founder Al Reem Al Tenaiji on a range of delicious, seasonal recipes for our new book The Kintsugi Kitchen, out early next year. Here, Alice explains what drives her passion and creativity and shares one of her favourite winter recipes…

ealthy eating has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. I grew up in Kenya, with a Brazilian mother and an English father. At every meal, we had copious salads and vegetables, while meat was local and organic. Kenyan dishes are influenced by a lot of other cultures and places, with India one of the strongest. Chai masala is a staple in most Kenyan households – including ours – and curry in some form was served at every party and celebration that I can recall. This rich mix of traditions has definitely influenced my cooking style, giving me a lasting appreciation for fresh, local produce and intriguing spices. As I got older, I became interested in the role of nutrition in health, and how diet can play a big part in the prevention and cure of disease. I discovered Ayurveda, a 3,000-year-old philosophy that maintains that around seventy per cent of disease stems from the diet. In the Ayurvedic system, good health is based on the principle of eating the right food at the right time for your body type. Combined with positive mental and energy balance, Ayurveda works holistically with the body to optimise good health. It is prevention rather than cure and a fascinating practice that still has much to teach us. I studied cooking at Ashburton Cookery School in England before learning the ropes in the kitchens of private estates and hunting lodges in the Scottish Highlands. For me, cooking was something best learned on the job – often by trial and error. After working all over the world, I met Al Reem Al Tenaiji, founder of Kintsugi. We quickly found that we had the same ideas about the importance of a good diet for health and wellness. We are big believers in the immortal words of Hippocrates: ‘Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.’ In our fast-paced world, it has become more important than ever to slow down when eating.

And I am increasingly interested in the slow food movement. It is important to take the time to be in the kitchen and to enjoy the process of buying ingredients, knowing where they came from, and cooking with love and care. Wherever you can, I recommend buying organically from farmer’s markets, butchers and fishmongers. Doing so reduces both the risk of consuming pesticides and the need for packaging. Eating seasonally makes sense for many reasons. Gone are the days where a tomato in London was a rare sight and we had to wait until spring for strawberries, but I often wonder what we sacrifice when we buy food out of season. A tomato grown in a greenhouse will never taste the same as one grown in summer, or in the Mediterranean climate. Fruit and vegetables are at their best when they are in season and make for much more enticing meals. When ingredients are local, seasonal and at their best, you don’t need to be an expert chef to spin them into an extraordinary meal. Think of simple tomato pasta in an Italian summer or rich potato stew in an Irish winter. And when they’re in season,

fruits and vegetables will naturally be of greater nutritional value than when they are stored for long periods of time. Consider, too, the environmental impact of eating produce out of season. The carbon footprint of importing fruit and vegetables all year long is vast. Air freight emits more greenhouse gases than any other mode of transport and is a significant contributor to global warming. So it is in all of our best interests to reduce the amount of imported food that we eat. Happily, when you have the right recipes, this is no great sacrifice. Working with Al Reem, I focused on creating simple yet tempting menus with bold flavours and minimal fuss; dishes that place the ingredients at the heart of everything. I cook with no grains and little dairy, bar white cheeses and yoghurt, and focus on healthy fats that are essential for a supportive diet – and that keep us out of the snack drawer. Developing these recipes, I paid attention to core Ayurvedic principles, using only fresh, seasonal and local ingredients and spices known for their health-giving properties. Each dish has a careful balance of the six tastes of Ayurvedic philosophy: sweet, sour, salty, pungent (chilli), bitter and astringent. The result: nourishing meals that leave you completely satisfied. And those results speak for themselves. Empty plates pile up, often with no mention of the healthy ingredients. To our diners, the food is simply delicious. I am so excited to share these recipes with you. They are the result of a lifetime of culinary travels and experiences, and the beautiful, nourishing energy arising from the unique connection that I have with Al Reem and the Kintsugi team.

@aliceshealthykitchen The Kintsugi Life cookbook will be out early 2021. kintsugispace.com

•

Fresh coriander, chopped to serve

e y-fre

3 tablespoons coconut oil 1 white onion, sliced 7 garlic cloves, crushed 2 teaspoons turmeric 2 red chillies, seeds removed and finely chopped 1 tablespoon sweet smoked paprika 2 teaspoons cumin seeds 10g ginger, peeled and grated 1 tablespoon tamarind paste 4 tablespoons tomato paste 600ml coconut milk 2 tablespoons desiccated coconut 400g monkfish 2 red peppers, thinly sliced 200g prawns, peeled and deveined 200ml shrimp or fish stock 140ml fresh lime juice

air

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

and d

Serves 4

ten-fr

Alice’s Brazilian(ish) fish and prawn stew

METHOD Add the oil to a heavy-bottomed pan. Sweat the onion slices for 3-4 minutes until tender but not coloured. Add the garlic, turmeric, chillies, paprika, cumin and ginger. Sweat for another minute or so. Add the tamarind paste and tomato paste. Mix thoroughly to coat. Cook for another minute, then add the coconut milk and desiccated coconut. Bring to the boil and reduce the heat to a simmer. Add the monkfish and red peppers. Simmer for four minutes, then add the prawns. Cook until the prawns are just cooked through then add to the fish stock. Season to taste and add the fresh lime juice when you remove from the heat. Serve with freshly chopped coriander and brown or cauliflower rice. 68

STORY OF

WISDOM

The spirit of compassion

A young disciple came to ask his master: ‘What is compassion?’

The master, smiling, continued.

The master explained.

‘The merchant acted out of pride, the old lady acted out of pity; however the boy felt real compassion.

‘An old man was begging at the corner of a busy street. First an old lady passed by him and infuriated by the beggar’s poverty gave him a gold coin. Then a merchant noticing that a small group of men were talking about him gave five gold coins to the beggar, and quickly left while walking with his head held high and having a haughty smile. Then, later, a boy who went to collect some flowers for his mom passed by the beggar; smiled to him and gave him a flower.’ The master asked his disciple: ‘Which one of them do you think felt the most compassion toward the beggar?’ ‘The merchant did’, replied the boy. 69

Compassion is a far greater and nobler thing than pity. Pity has its roots in fear, and a sense of arrogance and condescension, sometimes even a smug feeling of ‘I’m glad it’s not me.’ When your fear touches someone’s pain it becomes pity. When your love touches someone’s pain, it becomes compassion. Feeling compassion is more essential than showing compassion. To be compassionate, then, is to know that all beings are the same and suffer in similar ways, to honor all those who suffer, and to know you are neither separate from nor superior to anyone.’

AL-MUID T h e Resto rer, The Rev iver, T h e Ren ewer, The Re- Crea to r

Th e O n e w ho resto res and repeats a ll t h at has been created.

Th e O n e who co nstantl y renews, rev ives and repeats creati o n.

Th e O n e w h o restores and revi ves the spirit ua l essence of ever y perso n.

Th e O n e who repeatedl y renews ma n kin d â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s proper rel ati onshi p wi th go odness.

Unbroken

Use it, don’t lose it With a renewed focus on mental health and wellbeing in 2020, Najla AlTenaiji explains how brain training has improved her life immeasurably

hile I think we can all agree that 2020 has not had a huge amount going for it, I do think one enormous positive to come out of such a period is the renewed focus on mental health and wellbeing. While physical health has kept our gyms and pools full since the mid 1980s there has often been all-too-little attention paid to what’s going on inside our head. We all are well aware that healthy living first demands a healthy brain. Our brains control everything that we do, so it stands to reason that if the brain isn’t functioning well, then it is impossible to move forward. After my accident, I had to go through a series of brain and arm surgeries – long periods of rehabilitation and physiotherapies were a regular part of life. It was helpful but boring. When I look back on that time the only moments of enjoyment were spent at the ‘Brain Gym’. This was introduced to me by my mental health therapist and consisted of everything from puzzles and games – word searches, jigsaws, vocabulary tasks, scrabble, cards, chess and mental maths to more creative work – word pictures, drawing memory maps, quote writing, sketching and painting – easy activities that never threatened to overwhelm. These exercises are specifically designed to help our brain function active and alert during the learning

process. These short, fun, repetitive activities promote efficient communication among the many nerve cells and functional centers located throughout the brain and sensory-motor system. A healthy brain conquer depression, anxiety, and teach better coping life skills. In a short space of time, I found that doing these brain exercises boosted my memory and concentration, giving me a focus that soon made my daily tasks quicker and easier. I started feeling attentive and sharp. The biggest thing that the mental health brain gym taught me was to trust myself. Trust that I could make the right decisions for myself. Trust that it was ok not to be ok (and that this is not a matter of strength or lack thereof). It helps me stay accountable for mindfulness and tracking my emotions. Mental health supports the state of our emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. It impacts the way we feel, think, and act, making it important in all areas of our lives. I recommend it strongly for all my Kintsugi fellows. By doing these you can think more clearly, perform better, and provide a much-needed boost to your morale. Far from being on the ‘hippy’ scale of things this is pure science – by stimulating your mind you will ultimately function at a higher level. Hopefully 2020’s legacy could be a good one after all.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC; The biggest thing that the mental health

brain gym taught me was to trust myselfâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Happy families What does it take to raise a happy, well-adjusted family? Far from being flawless the answer lays in admitting our humanity says Dr. Asma Naheed

‘Happy

families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way’

n the classic novel Anna Karenina, Tolstoy posited that ‘Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.’ While I can’t say I completely agree with the former, it does beg the question of why are some families happier than others? What happens to give some parents and children have higher levels of wellbeing than others? This is no small matter, after all family wellbeing is vital pillar to thriving societies. The decisions taken by parents and those in authority have a lasting impact on children, even as they grow into adults. Families who feel able to make informed decisions, manage their basic needs, and tackle pressing human and community issues are almost invariably better equipped to lead happy, healthy lives that those who do not. So, what does it take to raise a happy family? Research shows that children who class their childhood as ‘happy’ often say that their family was brought closer together by small rituals and family traditions. This is not about the once-in-a-lifetime holidays or events, but rather the joy and comfort found in the shared everyday – certain dishes on set days, special cakes for their birthdays, traditional field trips and annual events which all combine to provide a sense of belonging and security. Others note that having at least one meal a day together was the most important custom of all. Having dinner together regularly, despite busy schedules, allows families to talk and bond with one another.

Unsurprisingly a lot of family happiness rests on parenting styles. Psychologists have identified four categories: Authoritarian, where parents have strict rules, expect their child to be mature and compliant; Authoritative, where parents are assertive, not restrictive, supportive yet monitor behaviors closely and show clear standards; Permissive, where parents rarely discipline, are responsive and allow their child self-regulation and, sadly, Uninvolved, a style speaks for itself and has no place in positive parenting. Research consistently shows that an important factor in raising a happy well-rounded family is what is termed as ‘Positive Parenting’ – if parents can find their own balance between mind, body, spirit this leads to a more balanced way of thinking, feeling and intuiting what a child needs at each stage of development. A key part of a positive parenting environment is allowing the child to experience self-regulation. A cohesive family is one that unites, learns together and grows together yet allows each individual the opportunity to explore their own passions within

the safe interdependent framework. Healthy functioning parents serve their child’s wellbeing with unconditional love, personal space and mutual respect. These factors all stimulate the child’s psychological and biological growth. As parents our job is to support our children, catch them when they fall, dust them off and send them on their way again. The key is to instill good values, be a positive role model and practice mindful parenting. While we are often led to believe that a happy family needs leaders and part-time superheroes – and of course on occasion it absolutely does – but mostly what a healthy family needs are parents who are willing to show their own flaws, emotions and struggles – parents who admit their mistakes. It is these underrated but beautiful attributes that make them human and give their child permission to do the same. To steal a line from Graham White, ‘the most powerful way to change the world is to live in front of our children the way we would like the world to be.’

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Let go of something old that no longer serves you to make room for something newâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; - Roy T. Bennett