Ball State Daily News Vol. 103 Issue: 7

WE NEED

HELP.

Why this matters:

Our generation needs help.

We need resources, we need understanding, we need support. We need this support to come from outside of our peers: we need it to come from the community.

According to Census Bureau data, 50 percent of adults ages 18-24 reported anxiety and depression symptoms in 2023. Fifty percent.

Fully half of our peers are suffering from symptoms of mental illness.

We believe journalists have an obligation to tell the truth and do good. We see the mental health crisis affecting our fellow students and our editorial board — we aren’t doing our jobs if we aren’t covering the issues that face students.

Our mental health paper hopes to serve as a wake-up call. Not just for the Ball State community, but the Delaware County community. Most importantly, we hope this paper is able to allow our peers to feel seen. We hope this paper is a resource for our peers when they need support and we hope this paper is able to be a tool to get help if you feel led to do so. We hope this paper can help end the stigma around talking about mental health and can create a positive change in the community.

Thank you for reading, Ball State Daily News, executive editorial team

Interim Editor-in-Chief

Managing Editor, Co-Sports Editor

Managing Editor

VOL. 103 ISSUE: 7

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Editor: 765-285-8249, editor@bsudailynews.com

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CORRECTION

The Ball State Daily News (USPS-144-360), the Ball State student newspaper, is published Thursdays during the academic year except for during semester and summer breaks. The Daily News is supported in part by an allocation from the General Fund of the university and is available free to students at various campus locations.

Grayson Joslin, Director of Recruitment

Abigail Denault, News Editor

Elijah Poe, Co-Sports Editor

Zach Carter, Associate Sports

Editor

Hannah Amos, Lifestyles Editor

Ella Howell, Associate Lifestyles

Editor and Copy Editor

Kate Farr, Opinion Editor

Elaine Ulsh, Associate Opinion

Editor

Jacob Boissy, Video Editor

Brisa Porter, Associate Video Editor

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In the Sept. 21 issue of the Daily News, the cover story “making waves” started on page 10, not page 14. On page 3, reporter Mya Cataline’s byline was omitted from the story. On page 5, Dan Ridenour was elected in 2019, not 2018.

To submit a correction, email editor@bsudailynews.com.

MEGHAN HOLT, DN ILLUSTRATION

Print

Digital

One Call Away

Ball State Public Media’s Indiana Public Radio (IPR) will be a part of a news sharing initiative with the Daily News. The effort will involve more Daily News coverage being utilized by IPR, which will allow for better coverage for consumers of both media organizations.

The Daily News partners with IPR Judge rules Trump committed fraud

A judge ruled Former President Donald Trump committed fraud with his real-estate properties Sept. 26. Without an appeal, Trump potentially loses his business licenses and the ability to make any major decisions with properties such as 40 Wall Street, Trump Tower and Seven Springs. The former president has said he will appeal the ruling.

Campus State National

Hollywood writers strike ends

According to the Associated Press, a five-month strike by members of the Writers Guild of America finished Sept. 26, as a new contract with studios was approved. The strike officially ended at 12:01 a.m. Sept. 27, when writers were able to begin writing scripts. Screen Actors GuildAmerican Federation of Television and Radio Artists remains on strike.

A Better Way worker Katie Madden takes a 988 call at the call center Sept. 26 in Muncie. The call center also takes calls for the Ball State 24/7 Crisis Line. OLIVIA GROUND, DN

A crisis line was created to help students in their moments of need.

Abigail Denault News Editor

In a house turned office and call center in downtown Muncie, there are six desks set in a room with blue and white striped walls and soft lighting. There is artwork and posters with phrases like “Be the Change.” Personal trinkets crowd monitors and sheets of paper. A small, black and white cat called Bobbie, named after a former longtime worker, jumps on desks and prowls around the computers and telephone base stations. The room is quiet.

Source: samhsa.gov

Until a call comes in.

Students at Ball State University have a new 24-hour option to be that caller when they are experiencing a moment of crisis: the 24/7 Crisis Hotline (765-285-4673).

Bill Betts, director of counseling and health services at Ball State, said the move has been long in the making as his department has been looking into options for providing after-hours support.

“Before I was here, there was a number that students could call and they would reach a therapist on call from the Counseling Center,” Betts said. “So they could actually call … then we would call them back and talk with them. That system was never really designed to work like a crisis line where you call and get support. It was really to help intervene in concerning situations.”

The original system began to not be functional, Betts said, as the increase in the number of calls led to the on-call therapist calling back late in the night. The system was shut down before Betts arrived, but a solution came when funds became available through the university. The funds were put into the creation of the Crisis Hotline and a suite of other resources for students.

The suite includes resources students can use online without ever having to go to the Counseling Center in person aiming to make getting help more accessible.

The 988 hotline answered 88% of calls received in August.

“If we can intervene with those folks, and get them the things they need early on, maybe they aren’t going to need therapy later,” Betts said. “This whole suite is [about] how do we get to all of campus and give them the services they need to support them?”

Calling a crisis line is an option for students at all stages of their mental health journey, but Betts said it should not be seen as a replacement for longterm care.

“My hope is that the crisis line gets people to get those long-term fixes,” Betts said. “For some folks, it’s the first step because [students] hang on and hang on until they can’t hang on anymore.”

The 24/7 Crisis Hotline is specifically made for Ball State students, which sets it apart from similar helplines such as the national 988 number. While the Ball State line is still in its infancy, the success of the 988 hotline speaks to the need for such a service.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, “Since the July 2022 launch, 988 has received (routed) more than 6 million calls, texts, and chats.”

The SAMHSA website also claims, “Almost 98 percent of people who call, chat or text the 988 Lifeline get the crisis support they need and do not require additional services in that moment.”

Ball State’s crisis line is run in collaboration with a local 988 call center, which is part of the services of A Better Way, Inc. The service agency also works to reduce domestic abuse, sexual assault, suicide and homelessness.

Adam Reichle, crisis hotline supervisor and crisis operator, said student hotlines are important for a better university response to students in crisis.

“For a lot of universities, the first line of crisis response is usually law enforcement, especially if those crises happen after hours or counseling centers [are] closed,” Reichle said. “This allows us to help deescalate that individual … and not involve other systems that aren’t necessary … unless that person presents an imminent risk to themselves or others.”

Danielle Longenberger, a fourth-year psychology major and 988 operator, works at A Better Way. She is not a part of the Ball State crisis line, as the line includes no Ball State students in order to ensure the privacy of callers. However, as a student and operator, she can see both sides of the interaction and the importance of a hotline for students.

“I think that students having their own separate line is extremely helpful,” Longenberger said. “It’s more focused, and being able to talk about what’s been going on and just finding out strategies of how you can better help yourself. I think it’s an awesome tool, and I think students should use it.

A point echoed by Reichle, who said the locality of the line was an important factor.

“One of the main differences is that we are on-site, we know this community,” Reichle said.

“They’re talking to someone who is familiar with the resources that are available to the students and familiar with a campus … [are] better able to help provide resources that are tailored. That’s one benefit to the Ball State crisis line.”

In the A Better Way office, operators like Katie Madden sit at desks waiting for their next call. She has worked at the 988 line and currently works for

the Ball State crisis line as an operator. The process is one where listening is the most important, Madden and Reichle said.

“Just letting the caller talk and asking openended questions so they feel more free to talk,” Madden said. “You don’t want to push anything but also want to make sure they’re safe. Letting them talk in the beginning [and] letting you know what’s going on and then assessing for safety.”

For operators, the job is one with high reward and even higher stress, compassion and emotional fatigue. Reichle, as supervisor, has to go over calls for quality assurance, and the experience is often full of both.

“It’s difficult to listen to them a lot of times because that person is in such a desperate state that it can be difficult,” Reichle said. “Then by the end of it, I always wind up feeling really reconnected to the work that we do. When I hear that relief in that person’s voice, I can see that they’re going to be safe and that helps me to reconnect to my work and why I do it.

The operators also practice self-care, Reichle said, which can range from talking to other operators or, in Reichle’s case, spending time with his two young sons.

Madden said the crisis line provides a listening ear in a crucial moment for many students.

“I think it’s important, talking about how they feel and kind of getting everything off their chest, even if it is suicide,” Madden said. “Sometimes just talking about it and being able to have somebody that understands on the other end is huge and can save a life. So I think it’s extremely important to have it for students.”

Contact Abigail Denault with comments at abigail.denault@bsu.edu.

18%

82%

If we can intervene with those folks, and get them the things they need early on, maybe they aren’t going to need therapy later. This whole suite is [about] how do we get to all of campus and give them the services they need to support them?”

- BILL BETTS, Director of counseling and health services

Of the 5,935 calls that came through the Better Way crisis support line: 765-288-HELP, 82% were from individuals seeking emotional support.

Source: Better Way

A Better Way crisis hotline supervisor Adam Reichle sits on a bench made by a Girl Scout troop Sept. 26 in A Better Way’s green space area. Reichle uses the green space to sit and eat lunch. ABIGAIL DENAULT, DN

A Class for Care

Self-Care 101 program allows students to find information and practices.

Colin Brown, Grayson Joslin Reporter, Director of Recruitment

Ball State’s Counseling Center has launched its Self-Care 101 program in conjunction with the start of the academic year. This new program, located on the Canvas learning management system, provides resources for students to learn and improve their self-care practices.

Aubrey Driscoll, associate director for prevention and wellness at Ball State, said SelfCare 101 came about because she wanted an option that was more versatile and accessible for students. Previously, the Counseling Center offered the Self-Care Challenge, which was a four-week challenge encouraging students to partake in different self-care strategies. The challenge, based on a workbook, was done entirely over email.

“It was the same content year in and year out,” Driscoll said. “It was just the same thing every year.”

Driscoll and her staff then decided to create their own program they could update and add to over time that meets the needs of students.

“We wanted something that could have a little bit more variety,” Driscoll said. “We didn’t want it to be stale.”

The program appears on the Canvas dashboard page like students’ classes. The program has modules dedicated to sleep, hygiene, selfcompassion, time management and organization. The modules include videos, infographics and “tools to use” that range from goal-tracking sheets to directions for box breathing — an exercise where people breath in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds and hold for four seconds.

Driscoll said setting up the program on Canvas allows students to access a resource from the Counseling Center that doesn’t require them to set up an appointment. The on-demand nature of the course allows students to access it however they wish to, and it allows the Counseling Center to engage with the rest of the Ball State community.

Other colleges across Indiana have implemented similar programs to help students with their selfcare and well-being. Purdue University started its Steps to Leaps program in 2019, a framework

dedicated to improving well-being. In this vein, Purdue launched their own self-guided learning service in 2021.

Carl Krieger, director of residential education at Purdue, said these learning modules were created by students, for students. Like Ball State, some modules include information on sleep and time management. Purdue also has several other selflearning modules that focus on digital and financial well-being, stress management and building a network. These modules are hosted on Brightspace, Purdue’s learning management system.

Krieger said emotional support services are what students need on college campuses. He said one year, the winning ticket for Purdue’s student government ran on a platform that included increased wellness resources.

Since these modules launched, student organizations have used the self-guided learning modules for the development of their student leaders.

“When you see that students are focused on it, and then you see students actively pushing for themselves, then it becomes a no-brainer that this is something that you need to be focused on,” Krieger said.

Timothy Hess, Ball State’s associate director for clinical services, works a door over from Driscoll and has observed the program’s implementation firsthand.

“I think it’s great,” he said. “We know it’s not an effective mental health model for campus if the only time you get support is when you’re in our office talking to someone. When Aubrey developed the Self-Care 101 program, it really [was] a way for us to talk to campus and say, ‘Everyone could benefit from this. We can all benefit from some self-care tips; I can benefit from more self-care tips.’”

Hess said the structure of the program was designed to minimize barriers to access. As an online resource, students don’t need to worry about scheduling conflicts, difficulties commuting or the emotional labor of face-toface interaction. Mirroring this, the Counseling Center also offers on-demand workshops on its YouTube channel and website and has partnerships with mental health applications like Welltrack and Togetherall.

Driscoll said 160 students have joined the course so far. With the program in its first year, she hopes it will be able to grow with time and surveys will enable early adopters to offer feedback on the modules. She also wants the modules to be relevant and hopes to personalize them to students’ experiences and needs.

Driscoll said self-care is “paramount” for students all the time, even when they are not stressed. In fact, she said it is often the first thing students push aside when they are stressed, mostly because of negative perceptions of selfcare. She hopes the Counseling Center will be able to help destigmatize it and inform students of its importance.

“We actually need self-care to be sustainable and to do the things that we want to do,” Driscoll said. “It doesn’t require students to have to make an appointment with us; it doesn’t require them

to make any formal commitments to therapy or to treatment. It’s just something that as a student here, you have access to engage with however you see fit, in a way that benefits you for you, without any strings attached.”

Contact Grayson Joslin with comments at Grayson.joslin@bsu.edu or on X @ GraysonMJoslin and contact Colin Brown with comments at colin.brown@bsu.edu.

53% College students who have received counseling or therapy for mental

during

Source: The Healthy Minds Study

42% College students who reported they needed help for emotional or mental health problems in the last 12 months.

Source: United Healthcare/YouGov

I think it really is a way for us to talk to campus and say, ‘Look: everyone could benefit from this. We can all benefit from some self-care tips; I can benefit from more self-care tips.’”

- TIMOTHY HESS, Associate director for clinical services

Associate director for prevention and wellness at the Ball State Counseling Center Audrey Driscoll sits in a massaging chair Sept. 25 in the Resource and Relaxation Room at Lucina Hall. Driscoll worked in community mental health before coming to Ball State. GRAYSON JOSLIN, DN

We actually need self-care to be sustainable and to do the things that we want to do.”

- AUBREY DRISCOLL, Associate director for prevention and wellness

health

their lifetime.

Shedding Labels

Three current Ball State athletes share their struggles with mental health and how they’ve worked toward changing the stigma surrounding the topic. 408

Field Hockey

Knopert wins back-toback MAC Player of the Week

Sophomore Fleur Knopert is coming off of a weekend in which both games she had a hat-trick. With her performances, Knopert earned backto-back Mid-American Conference Offensive Player of the Week. In those games, the Cardinals defeated Central Michigan and Lindenwood. Knopert now has 11 goals on the season and 20 in her career.

Women’s Volleyball

Wielonski named MAC West Setter of the Week

In her ninth time being named Setter of the Week, junior setter Megan Wielonksi has earned the MidAmerican Conference award again. Wielonski led the Cardinals to a 27.7 percent hitting percentage in the sweep over Central Michigan. Ball State heads up to Michigan to face off against Eastern Michigan Sept. 29-30.

Football

Cardinals open MAC play with Western Michigan

Ball State football will travel to Kalamazoo, Michigan, to face off against Western Michigan to open up its Mid-American Conference season. The Cardinals are coming off a 40-3 loss against Georgia Southern. The last time Ball State won its MAC opener was in 2019 against Northern Illinois. Kickoff is set for 3:30 p.m. Sept. 30.

Kyle Smedley Print Managing Editor, Co-Sports Editor

Content Warning: This article includes discussions of sensitive topics such as suicide.

Moriah Johnson still remembers slowly collapsing down the side of a tree outside of Woodworth Complex, crying on the phone with her mother.

Around 160 miles away from her home in Westerville, Ohio, Johnson struggled with homesickness throughout her freshman year at Ball State University. While this moment stuck out more than others, Johnson spent most of her days as a freshman crying.

“I would go walk from my dorm to the library, sit outside at night and cry,” Johnson said.

During this “period of sadness,” the junior criminology major said she tried to distract herself by joining mental health clubs at Ball State, visiting her family nearly every weekend, burying herself in Freida McFadden books of the romance or thriller variety and drawing the latest Pinterest cartoon trends in a notebook.

When she wasn’t doing any of those things, her negative emotions took over.

“When I’m sad, I like to sit in my room, and I don’t like to do anything,” Johnson said. “I’ll just stare out the window.”

To make things even harder, shortly into her time at Ball State, she was diagnosed with ADHD.

“It always feels like my mind is in like 1100 different directions,” Johnson said.

When she first began dealing with the disorder, Johnson said she constantly lost her keys and forgot the shoes she needed for Ball State track and field practices.

With a strict and busy schedule as a studentathlete, Johnson had trouble finding time to balance her sport, academics, social life and more. It was an ongoing process that began to take a deeper effect on her mental state and even affected her performance on the track and in the classroom.

To try and help her focus on both sport and school, Johnson began taking prescribed Adderall. “It made it 10 times worse,” Johnson said. She said it feels like she is going to war with herself.

“I can’t talk. I can’t move. I can’t think. I just freeze up,” she said. Johnson doesn’t feel like her disorder prevents her from completing any tasks, but did admit it takes her longer to do some things. While she often needs coaches to repeat instructions so she will follow through on them, those on staff are understanding.

“It’s not like I can change myself from [having] ADHD,” Johnson said.

However, after Olivia Huffman, a former Ball State sports psychologist, theorized Johnson’s performance anxiety may be her body’s way of preparing itself for a big event, Johnson hasn’t struggled nearly as much as she did before.

Last season, Ball State track and field athletes worked with two sports psychologists, something Johnson said wasn’t available to those in the program during her freshman season. Huffman said at least five of Ball State’s 13 sports work with sports psychologists, and she was one of many who floated from program to program rather than being assigned to just one.

Angelina Ramos, Ball State cross country and track/field assistant coach, is someone Johnson said she looked to for a source of support during the worst of her struggles. Ramos said she tries to cultivate a culture of belonging and authenticity within the programs she coaches.

“You have to let them know that it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to make mistakes,” Ramos said. “You don’t have to hide in secrecy or shame because you

made a mistake.”

Ramos said the biggest thing she tries to do as a coach to underscore the importance of mental health is showing an invested interest in the people behind the athletes. She places a higher importance on remembering what athletes’ favorite foods are instead of what their best run times are.

“Something our whole staff tries to do really well is just acknowledging growth in mindset and growth in actions as much as on the performance field as well,” Ramos said.

Not only did Johnson confide in a sports psychologist and her coaching staff, but she eventually began seeing an outside counselor.

“I kept canceling my appointment over and over and over and over until I finally went,” Johnson said. “When I did, it felt way better. I felt like I should have done this a long time ago.”

As a former swimmer at the University of Kentucky, Huffman had her own struggles with mental health. Her biggest struggle, despite being the top swimming recruit in her home state of Louisiana, was imposter syndrome. While Huffman had high school accolades, she didn’t feel like she belonged in a Power-5 program.

After struggling with mental health for a year and a half, her eventual solution, as it was for Johnson, was to seek help.

“It’s scary to be vulnerable,” Huffman said. “I thought I had to be perfect and I couldn’t make mistakes.”

Having met routinely with a psychologist for years, Huffman feels people should treat a meeting with a mental health professional the same way a yearly doctor’s visit is scheduled.

“Showing vulnerability is the biggest strength you could ever have in sport,” Huffman said. “You cannot reach your highest potential if you don’t address [your] mental health.”

After weeks of Johnson spending nights during her freshman year staring out her dorm room

window and crying, she Johnson said friends and teammates began to notice. They began asking her to join them in simple tasks like going to the store or out to dinner.

One night that stuck out to Johnson was an evening outing to Indianapolis where the group sang karaoke together. Johnson said she went from feeling like she couldn’t have fun to finding happiness in her experiences with others.

“I realized I didn’t have to isolate myself,” she said.

When she first came to Ball State, Johnson said she didn’t want to speak out about her mental health struggles. Now in her third year in Muncie, Johnson wants to show younger athletes it’s possible to achieve their lofty goals while going through a mental trial.

While the worst of Johnson’s struggles were during her freshman year, she said they bled over into her sophomore season when she developed tendonitis in her knee.

Johnson felt the mental aspect of an injury is more difficult than the physical recovery. For her, the rehab and recovery didn’t cause any

While many are seen as sources of strength, five current or former collegiate athletes break down what it’s like to struggle with mental health.

I kept canceling my appointment over and over and over and over until I finally went. When I did, it felt way better. I felt like I should have done this a long time ago.”

- MORIAH JOHNSON, Junior criminology major and track/field sprinter

Graduate student dietetics major and Ball State women’s basketball key Annie Rauch looks away from the camera Sept. 21 at the Shondell Practice Facility. MYA CATALINE, DN

We all have a whole bunch of different identities and labels, but you’re still the architect of your story.”

- ANGELINA RAMOS, Ball State cross country and track/field assistant coach

physical pain, but standing aside and watching her teammates compete rather than doing so alongside them is what hurt the most.

“You feel helpless; there’s really nothing you can do,” Johnson said. “You just have to wait it out.”

Huffman said many athletes struggle with mental health when dealing with an injury because of the fear of losing their “athlete identity”. This is otherwise known as the section of that person who is fully wrapped up in practices, games and all things involved with their sport.

She said this can lead to athletes experiencing feelings of grief, anxiety, depression, loss and more if their identity is fully consumed by their life as an athlete. That’s why Huffman always encourages those she works alongside to explore their other identities outside of sport.

“You’re more than just a student-athlete, you’re human first and foremost,” Huffman said.

Ramos does the same, trying to help find ways for her athletes to incorporate each of their identities together as it pertains to athletics.

“We all have a whole bunch of different identities and labels, but you’re still the architect of your story,” Ramos said.

Once the outdoor track and field season began

her sophomore season, Johnson’s mental health began to take a positive turn. She said something as simple as getting away from campus while traveling to away meets helped her find happiness. So did the success she had on the track, as Johnson helped lead the Cardinals to a Mid-American Conference (MAC) Championship in 2022.

Ramos emphasized even though athletes may have success in their sport, that doesn’t always translate to happiness in their personal lives. This past season, she said multiple members of the track and field program were struggling with the recent loss of family members, some dealing with suicidal thoughts, some dealing with domestic violence issues, some dealing with homesickness and more.

“If that happened to one person, it happened to the whole team,” Ramos said. “[We’re] letting the message get out that it’s OK to not be OK.”

Despite these struggles, not only did the Cardinals win their conference title, but finished with the fourth-highest cumulative GPA in the nation.

However, the biggest turning point for Johnson came this past summer when she got a job working with children at a summer camp. Now, Johnson is the happiest she has been since high school. When she

“It was a roller coaster,” Johnson said. “Up and down, up and down.”

School, cry, baseball, repeat

In 2017, Carson Lydon was an eighth grader in Eugene, Oregon. At the time, he felt his calling was to play baseball.

It was around noon on Valentine’s Day when Lydon heard his name called over the intercom during English class. At first, he thought he was in trouble, but when he walked into the principal’s office to see the administrator and his mother crying, he knew it was something much more serious.

Will Manstrom-Greening, a sophomore in high school at the time and lifelong friend of Lydon’s, committed suicide earlier that morning.

“I was in shock, I was confused,” Lydon said. “I used to go swimming in the Embassy Suites pool with him.”

While Manstrom-Greening was two grades Lydon’s senior, the two played baseball together since T-ball. Lydon described Manstrom-Greening as the smartest student he had ever met and someone who was successful in everything he pursued. Manstrom-Greening was adopted and had multiple siblings, including a brother who is the same age as Lydon.

However, Manstrom-Greening never expressed any mental struggles with Lydon.

“He was the kind of guy that had the biggest smile in the room,” Lydon said.

As he processed the grief that goes along with the loss of a friend, Lydon started blaming himself. Lydon didn’t think he was there for ManstromGreening enough and wondered if there was anything he could have done.

“I had a lot of times where I thought it would be better if I was gone,” Lydon said. “I hated who I was. I thought I was a fat, ugly, depressed kid from Eugene, Oregon.”

Lydon called the months that followed the worst time of his life, a time when he felt more alone than ever. In the thick of his battle, Lydon remembered a specific night he drove his ATV to the top of a hill on his family’s ranch.

Once he parked, he let all of his emotions out, something routine. However, as he looked up at the stars with a Vance Joy song playing in the background, Lydon felt like he heard a word from God telling him, ‘Everything is going to be okay.’

He began to look for help. Eight months and one day from the date of Manstrom-Greening’s suicide, Lydon and a group of over 100 others participated in an Out of Darkness Walk.

It was on that day Lydon began to think about pursuing what he felt was his new calling: bringing awareness to suicide prevention. A year after his close friend’s death, Lydon founded A World Free of Suicide.

Showing vulnerability is the biggest strength you could ever have in sport. You cannot reach your highest potential if you don’t address [your] mental health.”

- OLIVIA HUFFMAN, Ball State master’s student, sports psychology intern at Butler University and former swimmer at the University of Kentucky

Sophomore political science major and Ball State baseball pitcher Carson Lydon looks at Frog Baby Sept. 24 at Frog Baby fountain. Lydon started his non-profit after a friend of his committed suicide. MYA CATALINE, DN

Sophomore sprinter Moriah Johnson leaps for the long jump during the Ball State Track and Field We Fly Challenge on April 15 at the University Track at Briner Sports Complex. KATELYN HOWELL, DN

Just as his mission became a reality toward the end of his freshman year of high school, another suicide rocked Lydon and the community. This time, it was Christine Tofte, the mother of a close friend.

The same emotions that attacked Lydon when he lost Manstrom-Greening attacked him again.

He fell into a cycle of what he called, “School, baseball, cry, repeat.” However, it didn’t take a transformative experience for him to make positive progress.

The first major event A World Free of Suicide held was a community baseball game in honor of Tofte’s memory a month after her death.

“It was better to start chasing after helping people instead of hurting myself,” Lydon said.

Lydon, a sophomore political science major and Ball State baseball pitcher, recently transferred to Muncie after playing one season at the University of Oregon, his hometown college.

Despite living over 2,000 miles away from the non-profit’s origin, Lydon is looking to continue A World Free of Suicide’s impact in Muncie.

“I don’t know how someone that’s died by suicide has felt, but I know what it’s like to be close,” Lydon said. “It’s really shitty.”

A graduate student dietetics major and Ball State women’s basketball key, Rauch expressed difficulty in separating Annie the basketball player from Annie the person. During the season, Rauch said it’s hard to open her mind and think about anything other than the next game or practice. What keeps her from feeling like a “basketball robot” is doing routine tasks like vacuuming, going to the grocery store, cooking, baking and even sleeping.

Like Rauch, Ramos struggled with her identity as an athlete too. While in high school, Ramos said even though she was involved in nearly every club the school offered and was near the top of her class academically, her identity was in sport.

When she battled stress fractures throughout her freshman and sophomore seasons as a cross country athlete at Florida State University, she began to struggle with her purpose. As time went on, Ramos discovered her love for coaching by helping her coaches out during practices she couldn’t compete in.

She began to volunteer with an on-campus organization that focused on researching and donating money toward cancer survivors. Ramos began to find her identity outside of sport.

“The hard thoughts are still there, I just don’t have to focus on them. I don’t have to act on them. I don’t have to give them weight. I know how to drown them out. I know how to lean into this positive self-talk over here,” Ramos said.

While she struggles with homesickness even after five years away from Hilliard, Ohio, Rauch said her biggest mental health struggle is anxiety.

Like the track/field program, Ball State’s women’s basketball team also has sports psychologists who work with athletes, although Rauch said it’s not mandatory; the athlete has to reach out and ask for help, something she admitted she hasn’t done enough.

More than an athlete

Annie Rauch has been playing basketball since she was in preschool. The sport not only provides Rauch an escape from the struggles outside of athletics but structure for her life too.

Throughout her time in middle and high school, Rauch began to be purely labeled by her athletic ability and passion. Despite what basketball means to her, Rauch said she didn’t like being known only for what she did in her sport.

“I feel like I’m more than just a basketball player,” Rauch said. “In the grand scheme [of things], this is just a part of my life. I’m so grateful for everything that basketball has given me, but it’s just basketball.”

“I don’t want to admit that I can’t do something by myself,” Rauch said.

As was the case with Rauch, Johnson and Huffman, Ramos said many of the athletes she works with have trouble voicing their struggles.

“Sometimes [athletes] get into the bad habit of thinking their pain isn’t worthy enough of voicing it,” Ramos said. “We cannot have [a] hierarchy of pain.”

When she was at Florida State 15 years ago, Ramos said the university offered mental health resources to athletes, but the stigma surrounding the subject had not yet changed. Instead, seeking help was seen as something people did if they had reached their breaking point or if they were “crazy.”

I don’t know how someone that’s died by suicide has felt, but I know what it’s like to be close. It’s really shitty.”

- CARSON LYDON, Sophomore politcal science major and pitcher for Ball State baseball

“There are monochromes of gray,” Ramos said. “You’re not just stamped ‘Healthy,’ or ‘Down and out struggling,’ or ‘Healed means you’re always healed.’ It doesn’t mean that nothing’s ever going to rattle you or trigger you ever again.”

Throughout her time at Ball State, Rauch said she has seen the negative stigma surrounding the topic of mental health change to a more open conversation. Even her own view on speaking out about mental health has changed.

“You don’t want to have to see something horrible happen for people to take it seriously,” Rauch said.

When Rauch came to Muncie, she said she saw things in black and white and wasn’t exposed to many different groups of people or ways of thinking prior to her enrollment at Ball State. Over the following four years, Rauch said she has grown to realize it’s okay not to take everything in life so seriously, helping with her perfectionist traits as well.

Rauch described her freshman self as “painfully awkward”, and said being around a diverse group

of people at Ball State has helped her come out of her shell.

“For a long time, I would not lean into being a little bit awkward or not wanting to go out [and] make friends,” Rauch said. “Once you just realize who you are and you settle with it, then you can start working on things.”

Now a large aspect of what makes up “Annie the person,” being more open about mental health is something she wants to transfer to her parents and extended family.

“I feel there are people in my family [who] struggle with it and don’t feel comfortable talking about it,” Rauch said. “I think we’re getting there, [and] starting conversation is a big step.”

For Huffman, she feels athletes owe it to their audience to speak up about mental health.

“We’re on a platform,” Huffman said. “People are watching us whether we like that or not. We can almost use sport as a vehicle for life.”

Contact Kyle Smedley with comments via email at kyle.smedley@bsu.edu or on X @KyleSmedley_.

I feel like I’m more than just a basketball player... I’m so grateful for everything that basketball has given me, but it’s just basketball.”

- ANNIE RAUCH, Graduate student dietetics major and women’s basketball key

Sophomore political science major and Ball State baseball pitcher Carson Lydon poses for a photo Sept. 24 at Beneficence. Lydon looks to continue his non-profit here in Muncie. MYA CATALINE, DN

DNMentalHealth

Ella Howell

Daily News Associate Lifestyles Editor and Copy Editor

Returning to your dorm room/apartment with a companion there waiting can be very comforting. On days students are stressed and struggling with their mental health, being able to cuddle with a furry cat, get out to run with a playful dog or even watch their fish swim can offer immense support and dissolve the outside pressures students often struggle with.

Animals can be a great outlet for emotional regulation and stress relief. But it’s important to fully consider this responsibility and what maintaining a mutually supportive relationship with your Emotional Support Animal (ESA) entails.

ESAs are prescribed by a licensed professional for the treatment of various psychological disabilities. The animals are utilized as a coping mechanism during times of stress and anxiety.

Courtney Jarrett, Ball State University’s director of Disability Services, knows the potential ESAs have to improve a student’s life while on campus. However, she has also observed

the detrimental impacts when this decision is not realistically assessed.

“It can be challenging for students to manage their academic workload, employment, obligations with family and friends, and other social aspects of college,” Jarrett said. “I’m not sure how many students prepare for the extra time and costs that are necessary for the care of their ESA when they apply for one through my office.”

However, the amount of ESAs on campus has increased significantly in the last couple of years.

Kat Webber is a fourth-year media major and resident assistant (RA) for Anthony Apartments.

Free flu shots for 6-month-olds and up

With the upcoming flu season approaching, Meridian Health is hosting “Flu-Lapalooza” all across Indiana, including Muncie, Oct. 5. The event is 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. and Fluarix, the regular dose, is the provided vaccine. Participants can enter a $50 grocery gift card giveaway at each location. Appointments aren’t necessary, and walk-ins are welcomed.

YART comes back to Downtown Muncie

The event is happening from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Oct. 5 in Canans Common Park. The affordable art yard sale will be held together with the 2023 ArtsWalk. Artwork will be priced under $40, and local artists will be at the Muncie original. The event was started by Ball State students, and it has evolved into being community engagement-based.

Community Community Campus

Mysterious Muncie Bus Tours

Ball State’s Office of Housing and Residence Life and Office of Community Engagement to host the inaugural event led by local Ghostbusters. You can register for the event online and check your departure location. The event is free for Ball State students and will take participants on a tour of Muncie’s most haunted locations from Oct. 3-5.

Emotional Support Animal Finnegan (left) walks on fourth-year media major Kat Webber’s (right), shoulder Sept. 15 at the Anthony Apartments. Webber has had Finnegan for one year. MYA CATALINE, DN

Emotional support animals are a big responsibility, but can be worth it if it’s manageable.

Webber has an ESA of their own and has experience with managing ESAs in dorms, as they were an RA in Studebaker West last school year.

With Webber’s RA experience, they have been exposed to some of the issues that come with allowing ESAs on campus. While most of the problems are mistakes, like improper registration, Webber is responsible for preventing problems caused by neglect as well.

“There were quite a lot of times I had to knock on doors and tell residents their ESA needs to quiet down,” Webber said. “There were even a few instances where an ESA wandered out of their dorm, and I had to find their owner.”

While it is a big responsibility, Webber has found having an emotional support animal in campus housing is manageable. She partly credits this to the temperament of her cat, Finnegan.

“He didn’t try to run out of the door, he was very tidy and he didn’t make much noise, but that’s not always the issue,” they said. “When considering bringing an animal to campus, the main thing you need to consider is cleanliness.”

Animals are generally not as clean as people. This means keeping your space hygienic becomes more difficult when a pet is a factor. It’s especially important in small spaces, like dorm rooms and campus apartments.

“Animals are gross,” Webber said. “You need to clean up after them constantly, whether that be cleaning their litter box, wiping down something they spilled, or God forbid, cleaning up vomit. If

you have an ESA, the room will be smelly. That’s just a fact. Knowing how to manage that smell is very important. You don’t want to be known as [having] the smelly room, do you?”

Elliott Ulery, third-year public history major, got his dog, Clover, in March of this year for the additional comfort that she brings him in the dorms.

“It helps me a lot because I struggle with anxiety and depression,” Ulery said. “I also have ADHD, so I have this need for physical touch. It’s funny because I make the joke that I’m clingy and, I kid you not, whenever I need the texture, I literally just hold her, and that does it for me.”

Ulery was skeptical about balancing his responsibilities with the addition of a pet, but after making the decision to get Clover, he found it to be manageable when he stuck to a routine. He has noticed one major difference between having a pet at home versus in a dorm room.

“At home, we have a fenced-in backyard, so she can run around whenever she would like, versus here, whenever she wants to go outside she has to ring this bell on our door,” Ulery said.

Webber has come to a similar conclusion as Ulery when it comes to the added responsibility of a pet.

“Not only does he help manage my anxiety disorder, he is also company for when I am lonely,” Webber said. “College is a very lonely place, especially when you didn’t grow up nearby. Finnegan made it so I was never alone.”

Ball State Housing Services decided to establish the ESA policy to “support the well-being of Ball State University students.” Marci Mullaney is the assistant director for marketing and strategy for Housing and Residence Life.

“This policy serves to ensure that students residing in campus housing who require the use of an emotional support animal as a reasonable accommodation will review the benefit of the support provided by such animals,” Mullaney said via email.

In Jarrett’s experience, students should have a long conversation with a psychological professional before making the decision to register their ESA.

“There may be coping mechanisms that would work better for students while they live in a residence hall, and for their overall college experience,” Jarrett said. “It’s also important to think about the welfare of the animal. Some of them are used to living in a bigger house or apartment, so transitioning to a smaller residence hall room—with large furniture and a roommate among other things— may not be a good fit. It really does depend on the individual student and their treatment plan.”

Ulery’s advice for students considering getting an ESA is simple: If it’s manageable and you feel like you need the support, go for it.

“There’s someone else on my floor that has two emotional support rats, and I’m all for that because, with Clover, I am so thankful that she’s here,” Ulery said. “She really just makes my day. And I encourage people whenever they mention it because I’ve had other people approach me about it and ask me about it. It’s definitely worth it and I think it’s very manageable.”

Contact Ella Howell with comments @ella. howell@bsu.edu.

Emotional Support Animal Finnegan looks into the camera while he sits on fourth-year media major Kat Webber’s lap Sept.15 at the Anthony Apartments. MYA CATALINE, DN

Emotional Support Animal Finnegan plays with a cat toy Sept. 15 at the Anthony Apartments. MYA CATALINE, DN

College is a very lonely place, especially when you didn’t grow up nearby. Finnegan made it so I was never alone.”

- KAT WEBBER, Fourth-year media major

How to Help a Friend

Amos

Trigger Warning: This article mentions suicide.

Editor’s Note: Hannah Amos is a patient of the Ball State Counseling Center, however, she did not participate in the interview with professionals from the center. September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), there were 49,449 deaths by suicide in 2022. In 2021, there were 1.7 million suicide attempts reported by the CDC.

The National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention (NAASP) and the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline suggest five steps to help support those considering suicide.

Ask & Listen

The point of asking is to open the door of communication.

Aubrey Driscoll, Ball State University Counseling Center’s associate director for Prevention & Wellness, talked about the “myth” that talking with someone about suicide will make them think about suicide.

“The fact is many people who think about suicide are relieved when people ask about it, because they’re scared to bring up what feels like a taboo topic,” she said via email. “Asking people if they’ve thought of killing themselves gives them the opportunity to share how they’re feeling and be directed to professional support.”

Be There

Supporting someone can happen in many different forms, according to the National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention (NAASP) and the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

Being there for someone, whether physically or simply over the phone, is making a commitment and creating a support system for the person in need. However, it’s important to never make a promise about what you can or cannot do.

The act of simply being there for someone and lending a listening ear and providing reassurance is proven to be lifesaving. According to the CDC, the feeling of connection has been shown to be a “protective factor against suicide.”

Help Them Connect

Knowing the resources available for those in crisis is important, Driscoll said via email. Connecting people to resources can give them safety nets for when they have a crisis.

Ball State’s Counseling Center is open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday and is free for Ball State students. Another option is calling Ball State’s new 24/7 Crisis Line at 765-285-HOPE (4673).

Other options the Counseling Center has are the app WellTrack, Togetherall— a peer-to-peer support platform— the Counseling Center’s social media and the Canvas-based program, Self-Care 101.

For off-campus, you can call 988, Open Door Health Services, Ball State’s Counseling Practicum Clinic, or you can find support in community groups, such as Muncie OUTReach, local churches, or National Alliance on Mental Illness Delaware County

Help Keep Them Safe

After asking the hard question of if someone is feeling suicidal, it’s important to be on the same page and see how imminent the danger is. According to the CDC, “reducing a suicidal person’s access to lethal means is an important part of suicide prevention.”

According to the NAASP and the 988 lifeline, the more set of a plan the person in need has in place, the higher the severity of risk and capability of enacting their plan.

If you feel like the person in need is so unwell they need immediate medical attention, there are options for who to talk to. You can reach out to a Resident Assistant at Ball State if the person lives in a dorm, the University Police Department if they live on campus or simply call 911 or 988.

Follow Up

After a person is connected to proper support systems, it’s good to follow up with them. This follow-up could look like inviting them for coffee or sending a simple text.

Following up helps to continue the feeling of connectedness that was established in the “Ask & Listen” stage and the “Be There” stage. According to a National Library of Medicine study, maintaining contact and following up with a person is a preventative measure against suicide.

Contact Hannah Amos with comments at hannah.amos@ bsu.edu or on X @Hannah_Amos_394. Contact Ella Howell with comments at ella.howell@bsu.edu.

Pinwheels and Suicide Awareness:

• Each pinwheel represents a life lost to suicide.

• The yellow comes from the “Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program”

• HPA has put up pinwheels for two years for National Suicide Prevention (Sept.10-16)

Source: Destiny Cherry, health and wellness coordinator for Health Promotion and Advocacy

Helping someone you care for when they are going through a mental health crisis can be di cult, but multiple experts have agreed on a 5-step plan.

Ella Howell, Hannah

Associate Lifestyles Editor and Copy Editor, Lifestyles Editor

DNMentalHealth

How Music Saved Me

Kate Farr is a second-year journalism major and writes “Face to Face” for the Daily News. Her views do not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper.

Trigger warning: This article contains mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts.

One of the last times I had to confront the complications of my mental health was during my senior year of high school.

It was just about two days after one of the freshmen at my school committed suicide. We had been in session for less than two months.

I knew her because of how small the school was. I saw her in the hallway among the some 200 of us who walked from class to class. I saw her in the locker room. I saw her on the broadcast announcements the morning before. She didn’t live very far away from me. We were both situated in the countryside outside of Antwerp, Ohio, with only a couple of corn fields and a patch of trees between us. Our age difference in school kept us from crossing paths, but her presence still existed in my periphery.

It was also the first time in almost over a decade that a student died, let alone from suicide.

It was September — mid-month and the third day of spirit week. The news found its way to me before the school day even started. One of my friends broke the news to me, and I remember falling to my knees in the locker room before I could even get my cross country bag past the grated doors of my locker.

It’s still etched into my brain as one of my most emotionally palpable and damaging memories.

In those two days after, I found myself in the classroom of my high school English teacher. That wasn’t an abnormal occurrence. In fact, it was almost eerily normal. I stayed there many times after the school bell had rung before. But it was different after someone died. It was different when you were trying to put the pieces together, trying to make it all make sense.

Musical artists like the band Ghost pulled me out of the lowest period of my life.

Opinion editor and second-year journalism major Kate Farr poses for a portrait of her holding Simon and Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” while wearing a Ghost tour T-shirt Sept. 25 in the photojournalism studio. Farr discussed how music prevented her suicide. MYA CATALINE, DN

The same place where we’d talked for years — Bob Dylan or Chamberlain playing in the background, facing each other at our own respective desks. The music felt heavier in the days following, filling the room in a way our few words couldn’t.

It was strange. The music we were listening to was basically the soundtrack of my life — a life I attempted to escape before and was still trying to find a reason not to. It was years after being told I had depression, years after I stopped cutting.

After the shock came the guilt. A guilt we both felt. What if we had had more time?

But I felt another layer of guilt I wasn’t sure how to grapple with.

I always sat at the same desk when it was just the two of us — the one I once sat in as a wideeyed freshman. And I was still talking to the same English teacher who unintentionally saved my life when I was that age.

As soon as I hugged my parents goodbye, the loneliness started to sink in.

Even though it was scary, I was trying to be hopeful. I was at a school that had a great journalism program, I had the possibility of meeting new friends and there was an array of new experiences staring me in the face.

I should have been excited, and I should have been hopeful. I tried to be.

But hope isn’t punctual. It doesn’t always show up when you want it to.

Not only was I starting my collegiate journey, but I was also still dealing with the end of a threeyear relationship. Even with a façade of strength in my back pocket, I was struggling to cope.

We were friendly, stayed in touch, but still obviously in love. And while I had my focus set on school and healing on my own accord, it came crashing down.

Believe it or not, it is difficult to be friends with someone you had just been dating for three years. And it’s even harder being dragged through their new fling with someone else. No matter how hard I tried, it gnawed at me until I shattered.

The aftereffects of this crumbled relationship I could once rely on mixed in with my loneliness, my being thrust into a completely new space and a stacked school schedule were more than chipping away at me. My mental state was taking a turn toward a place I hadn’t been to for almost a year.

I was feeling the pressure and the pain.

In the week after cutting off all communication with my ex-partner, I decided to make a trip home. It was a week of compartmentalizing my whole life — planning, splicing, putting together my unfortunate plan.

I was back in the spot I’d been in as a freshman in high school. Now I was 18 — an age I had never thought I was going to make it to all those years ago — and a freshman in college.

At her age, I was at the same precipice. And I’d reached it again.

We sat there side by side in my car, quietly eating whatever candy she’d picked up from the gas station. I watched the lights flicker over the pumps while she scrolled through her playlist trying to find a song to start.

I usually didn’t like her music, so it was rare that I passed up the aux. But I wanted us to have this, a last moment together.

I remember her saying she was going to play some stuff from TikTok she liked — stuff I hadn’t heard since I didn’t have the app.

I would have never guessed that what she played was going to turn into exactly what I needed.

Like Simon and Garfunkel in middle school or Bob Dylan in high school, a Swedish rock band surprisingly saved me. I started to listen to Ghost — whose 2019 song “Mary On A Cross” blew up on TikTok in late July — every single day.

It was the only thing that let my emotions pass through me while I stitched my wounds back up.

While heavy metal or hard rock was never my thing — let alone songs with Satanic lyrical writing — my mind was quiet for the first time in so long. It let me cope with my depression.

The sirens and red flashing lights had shut off. It felt like my life wasn’t a dead-end anymore.

I saw Ghost this August in Indianapolis. I’d never cried or screamed/sang lyrics at a concert like that before in my life. It was the closest thing to a spiritual or “religious” experience I’ve ever had.

Even though my struggle is yet to be over, I was so glad I made it to see them.

That day was like a mini victory. For once, I had the hope I deserved.

As the seasons are changing again — another September coming and going — I’m trying to enjoy the little things.

Top 10 Songs That Kept Me Going

#1 “Bleecker Street” by Simon and Garfunkel

#2 “Red River Shore” by Bob Dylan

#3 “Bridge Over Troubled Water (with the Jessy Dixon Singers)” by Paul Simon

#4 “The Only Living Boy In New York” by Simon and Garfunkel

#5 “He Is” by Ghost

#6 “Operator (That’s Not The Way It Feels)” by Jim Croce

#7 “Goddamn Lonely Love” by DriveBy Truckers

#8 “I Contain Multitudes” by Bob Dylan

The hardest guilt as I sat there — crying and listening to the music that played a part in saving me before — was that I survived and someone else didn’t. I was here, and she was gone.

As I’ve gotten older, it’s become easier to talk about my struggles with mental health. When I can be candid with others, I can find a way to be candid with myself.

It hasn’t been the easiest process — the whole being honest with myself, with the people who love me — but I have to acknowledge that I’m still healing.

To get it out there, I’ve contemplated and attempted suicide a couple of times in my life. That’s a terrifying thing to put on paper, but it’s easier than uttering it aloud. And who knows, this might be a cathartic experience for me.

The most recent time I dealt with suicidal ideation was during my first semester at Ball State.

As an incoming freshman, it was my first time in a new place in a new state where I’d be without any of my family, friends or anyone I knew.

But I had circled around mentally, staring right back into the face of my ninth-grade self. The flashing red lights and sirens signaled in my mind, but I willed myself to ignore them.

I was planning on taking my life after going home that weekend. It was my first time home since leaving, and I was convinced to let it be the last time I’d say “Bye, I love you,” and leave with a smile on my face.

I got home on a Friday in mid-September. The leaves had started to change near my house. My dog had lost weight, and I was the only one who had noticed after being gone for a month. We didn’t know we’d lose her two months later to cancer.

My sister begged me to drive us to the gas station. She wanted candy, to talk, to listen to music. It was so simple, so painless and so like her to ask me to do something like that. I wouldn’t have usually said yes so easily.

She didn’t know I was thinking about this possibly being our last time hanging out — just the two of us. Two sisters parallel to each other, one a freshman in high school and the other a freshman in college.

I looked at her — the other side of my coin.

September is Suicide Awareness Month. I want everyone to know they aren’t alone. There are people, experiences or songs that can lift you from the darkest of places if you wait for the day they unexpectedly arrive.

If you can find a way to hold on, there will be something that comes along to save you.

Even in the emptiness that has come with pain and loss, there is everything that remains.

I am glad I haven’t lost my battle. I’m glad to have the chance to experience — to live through — what remains.

If you or someone you know is dealing with thoughts of suicide, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.

Contact Kate Farr with comments at kate. farr@bsu.edu.

#9 “Take What You Can Get” by Chamberlain

#10 “Kiss The Go-Goat” by Ghost

When I can be candid with others, I can find a way to be candid with myself.”

KATE FARR, DN PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

Scan here for Kate’s playlist.

Running on FUMES

My autistic burnout has me overwhelmed with exhaustion.

OLIVIA GROUND, DN PHOTO, PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

Grayson Joslin is a third-year journalism major and writes “Soapbox” for the Daily News. His views do not necessarily reflect those of the newspaper.

I am feeling burnt out.

I think back to the start of this school year and realize something has been amiss. I feel like I have been cruising and running on fumes. I haven’t been able to mentally recharge.

The work I am completing has not reached my personal standard. My chipper demeanor has been reduced to an absent-minded one. I am overwhelmed by everything.

But this is not neurotypical burnout I am feeling, this is autistic burnout.

This is the result of chronic stress that manifests itself as an intense feeling of exhaustion because of the pressures of living life in a neurotypical world. We, as people, are all sensitive to stress.

But this is a different feeling from neurotypical burnout, which comes from overwhelming stress due to work, school or even social life.

A study published by the British National Autistic Society in Jan. 2023 found autistic people have both short and long periods of this experience. The length of an episode can vary from weeks to months to even years.

Upon discovery of my situation, this isn’t something that has happened to me just recently.

I’ve dealt with this all my life.

This is something that has only recently been brought into the social limelight, with studies in the past few years looking to define this experience. I only found a name for what I was experiencing – autistic burnout – last year through autistic support accounts on Instagram.

After this reflection, I have realized what has been contributing to my situation, and it has been a combination of various factors that have led me to feel frayed and lethargic.

One important contributor to my situation is my stacked calendar this semester. My semester is

17 credit hours. I am on track to graduate in May 2024, one year ahead of schedule. Add to that both personal and extracurricular responsibilities, and it equals an exhausting schedule.

I basically run around campus all day, going from class to class then straight to work with little time to take a break for myself.

My schedule needs to have alone time factored in as well. I call it “decompressing.” When I am overstimulated, this is a great time for me to take a breather and get some rest.

while still prioritizing myself can be tricky.

Going and sitting in class is no problem for me. However, when I try to sit down and do my homework, sometimes the sheer scale of what I need to do prevents me from moving forward. It’s daunting.

These tasks should only take a few minutes, but the emotional weight I put behind them makes them seem enormous.

This goes beyond academics. The truth is, I am living in a world that is not built for autistic people with overloaded schedules, too many demands and a lack of taking care of basic needs.

This makes autistic burnout that much harder. A systematic review published in Clinical Psychology Review in Nov. 2021 assessed those who “mask” have worse mental health outcomes. Masking is where our autistic behaviors are being suppressed — either consciously or subconsciously — so we can fit in with the neurotypical world around us.

Sometimes, I don’t fidget around or stim like I usually do when I am around people. Other times, I often stay in loud and overwhelming places longer than I want to. This can happen for a variety of reasons – mostly because I am a people pleaser, I want to show people that I am “normal” or I can handle what I consider standard situations.

This masking is something I’ve done since I was a child, but I have only started noticing it in the past few years. Growing up, people made fun of me for what I did, which were actually my autistic traits. Seeing how my peers reacted to it, I adjusted how I presented myself accordingly to “blend in” and not be ostracized.

Masking takes up an immense load of energy from my and other autistic peoples’ bodies.

Autistic Burnout THE SIGNS OF

• Chronic exhaustion

• Loss of skills, such as losing the ability to talk, reduced executive functioning

• Reduced tolerance to stimuli

Source: Autism Adulthood Journal

Communication skills can be difficult during these experiences. Talking, which is something that can already be difficult because of my speech impediment, can be hindered when my stress levels are high. Even engaging in conversations is sometimes difficult. I sometimes have to force myself to say something. Oftentimes I won’t say anything unless necessary.

Even writing this has been difficult. Trying to put what I have been feeling into the right words and onto this page has been taxing to me.

I do hope to have these skills come back to 100 percent in the future, but the first step in that process is realizing that this is what I have been experiencing recently.

I have been burnt out. In realizing that, I can give myself some grace.

In a world where the idea of a “grind mindset” has become ever more popular, autistic people can fall by the wayside and wither away in this demanding work culture.

With a month of the school year already gone, I am still trying to find the perfect school-life balance. Trying to keep up with my schoolwork

Adding to this is also not having resources and accommodations that would be helpful to me. Sometimes, I will forget my noise-canceling headphones or my stim toys. If I am headed to a crowded place, it will overwhelm me and add to my stress. Sensitivity to sound, light and temperature can be heightened.

When experiencing this, autistic people can be more irritable and sensitive to the world around them.

Another important characteristic of autistic burnout is the loss of skills. A study published in Autism Adulthood in June 2020 found autistic people had a wide array of skills that faded away due to burnout.

During my last experience, I was getting more irritable, and my feelings were harder to control. My sense of this is one of complete exhaustion where my mental battery is low, and it becomes difficult to even perform my basic human functions.

Taking the opportunity to set myself up for success has already eased my burnt out feeling, allowing me to begin my recovery.

Over the past few weeks, I have been embarrassed and hesitant to tell people I have been going through a burnout experience. I’ve been scared people will think I’m being weak or making up excuses. But I soon realized by explaining what has been happening and what has caused this, people can better understand my experience.

The more awareness we bring to this, the more we can make sure those on the autism spectrum feel both supported and accommodated.

Contact Grayson Joslin with comments at Grayson.joslin@bsu.edu or on X @ GraysonMJoslin.

Director of Recruitment, “Soapbox”

Grayson Joslin

Taking the opportunity to set myself up for success has already eased my burnt out feeling, allowing me to begin my recovery.”

In a world where the idea of a ‘grind mindset’ has become ever more popular, autistic people can fall by the wayside and wither away in this demanding work culture.”

72% 33% of autistic adults have high suicide risk compared to of the general population.

Source: Molecular Autism

Mental Health: By the Numbers

More than 40,000 of college students have been diagnosed or treated by a professional for a mental illness.

Americans die annually from suicide.

1 in 5 Americans suffers from a mental illness.

50%

More than 25% of college students have reported their mental health to be below average or poor.

Almost 6 in 10 people with mental illness get no treatment or medication.

Check out our socials for an interview with Aubrey Driscoll, associate director for prevention and wellness for the Ball State University Counseling Center.

For every woman who dies by suicide, four men die by suicide, but women are 3x more likely to attempt suicide.

Crossword & Sudoku

ACROSS

1 Rain’s counterpart

6 Bottomless pit

11 Scoundrels

15 Quartet voice

16 Quality

17 Fly-fishing need

18 “Two stars! My spaghetti always sticks to the sides!”

20 North __ Sea: Kazakh lake

21 Son of Hera

22 Actress Ortiz

23 Part of SCOTUS

25 Magnate

27 “Half a star! The ceramic is flaking off the cast iron!”

29 Established

30 The Falcons, on scoreboards

32 Munro pen name

33 Poem of homage

34 Poolside piece

36 Kit letters

37 “One star! Chocolate gets clumpy, and sauces always separate!”

41 Not cool

42 Planet Fitness payment

43 Conclusion

44 SoCal school

47 Tanqueray, for one

48 Behave

51 “Zero stars! It spits hot oil

everywhere!”

54 Words mouthed while holding an imaginary phone to one’s ear

56 Like a colorful garden

57 “Now I see!”

59 One-named “Locked Up” singer

60 Spelling of “BH90210”

61 Kitchen array, or an apt title for this puzzle?

64 School near Windsor

65 Useless

66 Bowen of “Modern Family”

67 Office fixture

68 Razz

69 Some dance elements

DOWN

1 Day when everyone’s a little Irish, familiarly

2 Town crier’s cry

3 Walking stick, e.g.

4 False

5 Memorable span 6 Buckets

7 Wide

8 Source of Tibetan butter

9 Afternoon rest

10 Occurred to 11 Mild cigar

12 French farewell

SOLUTIONS FOR SEPTEMBER 21

13 Genre portmanteau

14 Greek moon goddess

19 Soda opener

24 Chi preceder

26 “The Gathering Place” island

28 Date line?

31 Tiny, made tinier

34 Barracks bed

35 Transition

36 Kaitlin’s “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” role

37 Disparaging term for some frat guys

38 “Holy wow!”

39 Not exactly promising words

40 Actress Headey

41 Flat, in a way

43 Improved, hopefully

44 NorCal airport

45 “You need to let this go”

46 2021 winner of “RuPaul’s Drag Race”

48 Acid neutralizer

49 Informal invitation at the door

50 Stiffens

52 Toy piano sound

53 Carpentry files

55 Drink like a kitten

58 “Stop the __”: protest sign

62 Oolong or rooibos

63 Club VIPs

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