Celebrating Steve Bernardini

BY NANCY SANDBERG

alumni returning to campus often head straight to Steve Bernardini’s classroom. Some want to see what skeletons are in his closet (literally!), but all of them want simply to reconnect with a teacher who not only sparked their love of learning, but also instilled in them qualities of character and leadership.

BFS wearing a three-piece suit, very unusual at the time. (Steve has always been something of a sartorial standout, invariably well put together for all occasions.) He was hired to teach science and P.E. and later added some Upper School math classes. He became the 7th Grade homeroom teacher in 2000.

They return to campus knowing that he will make time for them and will want to hear what they have been up to since graduation. It is that same caring and concern he demonstrated over and over again with students at BFS during his forty-two-year tenure, and he will be sorely missed when he retires in June.

Steve cares deeply about the welfare of each student and feels a personal commitment and responsibility to contribute to their development. His relationships with others—students, colleagues, parents—are based on his generosity of spirit, and he is committed to their growth and success. Steve is often sought out for support and advice, and he knows how to reflect back people’s strengths and successes when that is what they need most to hear.

It was back before the ’81-’82 school year began that Steve arrived at BFS for his job interview with then–Head of School Rich Eldridge,

Steve’s interest in the sciences and especially biology began when he was a child, hunting and fishing in Vermont, where he learned how to preserve animal skeletons. Students would often bring him small, departed creatures, knowing he would share their compassion and interest, and possibly present them with the gleaming white skeleton sometime later. It was not unusual to discover dead animals in the school’s kitchen or faculty room freezer. And his pet corn snake was a regular at Pet Day for several years.

Steve shared his deep love of biology with students over the years and initiated his signature yearlong pond study project and trip to Wallops Island. In a science elective focusing on biology and dissecting animals, students discovered their own love of the field and began bringing him specimens to examine. As a student service project, he often helped them make suet balls to be hung outside for the birds. During his tenure, Steve would go on to create some of BFS’s most significant and enduring programs. With Karen Seaton, he co-founded the Joint Environmental Program (JEM) back in the late 1980s to foster understanding of and a connection with students in the USSR. The School offered a Russian language class as an alternative to French for students in grades 6, 7, and 8, and they wanted to take that a step further. What began as a pen-pal experience for students later led to the first exchange. Steve chaperoned the second visit to School 213 in St. Petersburg, Russia, in 1994 and developed lifelong friendships among his counterparts in Russia.

````````As the 4th Grade teacher, I was always enormously appreciative of how Steve handled my students in his P.E. classes. They loved him as their teacher, and I could count on Steve’s taking the time to process with them any conflict, feelings of disappointment over losing a game, or other upset before they returned to the classroom, so they invariably tumbled back inside invigorated, excited, and upbeat. He would take the time to fill me in on any occurrence that might be helpful to know about.

He generously gave of his own free time to meet separately with 4th Grade boys for a few sessions of Linda Kamel’s Human Development class so they would feel safe to learn and ask questions about sensitive gender-specific topics.

The JEM trips to the biological research station called Jatun Sacha in the rainforest and the indigenous village of Rio Blanco in Ecuador were also a high priority for Steve. He helped to cement relationships with staff at the station and with village leaders. Students would play soccer with the village children and, especially those uncomfortable in the rainforest environment having snakes and spiders and other creepy crawlies, were encouraged to sit alone under a tree for a while, listening to the sounds and attempting to experience the elements differently. Steve’s nature photos from these trips are exquisite.

As the JEM program expanded, Steve spent countless hours with Karen and other committee members, honing its mission and outreach. For the Earth Summit events that BFS hosted multiple times, when teachers and students from all the sister JEM schools traveled to the campus for two weeks, Steve developed an outstanding simulation activity for the participants to experience.

A highlight of the 7th Grade year has been the camping trips at the Tohickon Campground, held during the second week of the school year. Steve recognized the importance of these outings, designed to jumpstart class cohesion with time spent on the intentional setting of tone and standards of acceptance of and caring for all. He was committed to providing a great experience for his charges, grilling hamburgers rain or shine, initiating the telling of ghost stories around the fire, flipping pancakes the next morning, and leading them in cooperative games and down the hill for splashing in the creek.

Steve developed his Developmental Workshop program first while co-teaching 6th Grade with Peter Pearson, then further refined it for 7th graders when he took over as 7th Grade homeroom teacher. Later, he collaborated with School Counselor Linda Kamel to make it the seminal experience it has become today. The workshop was conceived as a way for students to learn more about themselves within the context of being part of a class and school community. It included team-building experiences, challenges for small groups, activities for self-reflection and group growth, and clarification at a crucial stage in selfidentity.

For example, as part of the program, students read George Ella Lyon’s poem “Where I’m From,” which discusses the myriad of people, places, and experiences that shaped her. After reflecting upon it, students wrote their own versions, declaring their roots and influences. Steve also drew on Nigerian writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED talk, “The Danger of a Single Story,” to help students understand how biases and assumptions limit our understanding of others.

Steve’s contributions to BFS go well beyond academics. For many years, as a coach each season (soccer, basketball, softball), he taught the sports skills needed to win, but focused also on his expectations for good sportsmanship from each student. He emphasized teamwork, honesty and fair play, commitment, and respect for oneself and others. A firm believer that students need to “walk the talk,” Steve embodied this philosophy himself and helped them to develop the courage and conviction required to have their actions resonate with their words.

Dressed as the blood-spattered mad scientist, Steve was for years a fixture of the annual 7th Grade class Halloween Party. One year, he and Peter even shaved their heads and beards for maximum effect. For decades, he set the tone for a fun and successful Track and Field Day, balancing meticulous preparation, organizing of equipment, and patient support of all the students, staff, and volunteers during the events, while at the same time keeping in sight the bigger picture of having a good time and keeping it fair.

He always took time with anyone who came seeking his input or guidance, on any number of issues. Colleagues often spent time after school talking over with him things that would help them gain a new perspective, or insight on which approach to take. Other faculty recall that Steve was always the one in faculty meetings to ask probing questions that would help bring clarity to an issue or sort out the best procedure to take. His questions often slowed the decision-making process, bringing logic to the fore when emotions were running high, to ensure the best outcome. He has served on countless committees over the years because of these valuable traits and his adherence to his and the School’s values.

Known for long, animated explanations on numerous topics, Steve could be heard from some distance, expounding on the day’s subject. Kids might

“This past winter (2022), I had the privilege of joining my dad, Mr. B, at the BFS Snowflake Festival with my son, Madden (who loved it, by the way!), and my mom, Nancy (Mrs. B). We also got to see the BFS gym one last time before it was knocked down an is rebuilt soon. When I walked into that gym, it felt like no time had passed. Flashbacks of every grade year flooded into my mind: of our PE classes with Mrs. Marston & Mr. B, inside jokes with my classmates, countless lasagna dinners, science projects in the kitchen, and years of watching my dad coach my brother in basketball, and being coached by him, myself.

As a 6th grade BFS basketball player just starting to hone in on my athleticism, I used to (embarrassingly) cry in the middle of games when I would start missing several easy lay-ups. One of the simplest, yet biggest lessons my dad, Mr. B, taught me as an aspiring young athlete was “you’re not going to make every shot you take, and that’s okay.” I needed that. My dad laid the groundwork for me to believe in myself as an athlete, to stay composed, and to be okay with not being perfect. His words and support took the pressure off, and as I grew more into the athlete I wanted to be, it allowed me to fly.

That old, beautiful, wooden gym with the famous blue mats that stood tall as protection to all of us lower, middle, and upper schoolers, held decades of memories, love, laughter, and of course, a few tears. I came to BFS in 1995 and graduated in 2004. As I stood inside of that gym in 2022 to take a picture with my dad on one side of me, and my 3-year-old son in my arms, I felt a wave of emotions. Then, it hit me…this gym being knocked down felt like a metaphor for my dad retiring.

The BFS gym - a humble, but solid and trustworthy structure that stood the test of time, stories and lessons woven deeply into its

MR. B’S EARTH SUMMIT GAME

For the players, the beginning of the game is a bit of a mystery. Each group, made up of students from each of the participating countries, is given an oddly shaped large piece of heavy paper, a list of resources, markers, and a variety of other tools and instructions. They are told to name their newly formed group, fill in the shape with a motto, and place different resources such as hospitals, schools, stores, farms, communities, waterways, and factories. Each day during the Summit, the groups must accomplish tasks to use or swap their resources and make their community and relationships stronger, all while working out problems through collaborations inside and outside of their group.

Eventually the students discover that their countries actually fit together like a puzzle. New problems and negotiations arise as their carefully created country is now affecting neighboring nations. Revelations occur as students discover how interconnected their decisions are when they see themselves in relationship to one another. They come to realize we share one planet and must work together to ensure everyone’s success and safety. This bonding game was often cited as a highlight of their two-week Earth Summit experience.

make a show of rolling their eyes, but they were always listening, and he has made a huge impact on hundreds of students over his 42 years at BFS.

The influence of “Mr. B.” has transcended academics, sports, and special events as his presence created warmth and caring that permeated every aspect of BFS school life. It is hard to imagine him spending future days outside the classroom, but he is looking forward to having the time for walks in the woods near his home or on a beach, collecting shells; playing with his grandson; and enjoying his family. We hope he will surprise everyone with return visits now and then. • walls. It met kids and people of all ages with a kind of openness and warmth, with its chestnut-colored wood beams, and its large Illuminating windows that quite literally “mind the light.” It’s irreplaceable and unforgettable.

And then there’s Mr. B, also standing the test of time (in more ways than one). A tenured, dependable confidant to his colleagues, and a firm, but grounded and fair teacher to many - young and old - he, too, keeps decades of stories and lessons within him. He always holds space for others, he’s approachable, and always reasonable. His presence is gracefully felt all around campus, and it will continue to be felt long after he leaves.

I know that both the gym and my dad will, literally and figuratively, leave with a gentleness and pride about them. It’s not easy to say goodbye to a place you’ve called home for so long, but they both can do so knowing they’ve left it in good hands, they’ve put in the hours and the work, they’ve laid the foundation for continued growth and success, and they’ve collected their own special memories that will last them a lifetime.

Forty-two years of the truest passion and care for teaching and mentoring - Mr. B, my dad, encapsulates the essential impact that teachers have on their students and within their school system. He’s one in a million - not just as a teacher, but as a person. There’s not one person he wouldn’t give his all and attention to, there’s not one letter or report he would write that he wouldn’t pour every ounce of his heart and soul into, and there’s not one famous “Mr. B lecture” that wouldn’t hit home somehow, to someone. Life lessons are his thing - and they have and will continue to live on with all his students, parents, and colleagues as he leaves his exceptional, distinguished, and irreplaceable legacy at Buckingham Friends School.

Congratulations to my dad, my coach, my mentor, my teacher, our favorite “Mr. B,” on an absolutely unforgettable and exemplary career. We all love you so much!!!!”

—Lisa (Bernardini) DeJohn ‘04