The joys of being older Living happily ever after

BY JUDITH A. RUCKI

Women past fifty can be heard complaining about Invisible Women Syndrome. People stop seeing them, men look through them, and salespeople ignore them. Men don’t always fare much better. Some lost hair here and a paunch there can bring about an air of quiet desperation. And yet, despite cracks in the Fountain of Youth, aging doesn’t have to mean becoming isolated, invisible, or unhappy.

Randomly asking people what they enjoy about being older results in answers from funny to sublime. No more fear of unwanted pregnancies, not having to work for a miserable boss, opportunities to pursue dreams, and a guaranteed minimum income are a few advantages cited.

With a few years under our belts, we cope better with negative emotions like anger, fear, and sadness. We learn to focus on what matters and let go of what doesn’t. We no longer care what others think about us. We’ve learned that worrying about what others think can be damaging to our selfimage and mental health.

Older folks tend to have a greater sense of acceptance of self and others. We’ve achieved life experience that helps us make smart decisions. And we understand the importance of being grateful for what we have.

Writing for Verywell Mind, Mark Stibich, Ph.D., posed the question, “Is aging the secret to happiness?” and goes on to cite research showing Americans get happier as they age, despite health conditions and other problems.

“An aging America may be the happiest America we have ever seen,” says Stibich. “Perhaps this is because of the wisdom that comes with age or because older people adjust their expectations in life. Whatever the reason, there is solid evidence that older Americans are truly happier than younger ones.”

Aging is inevitable, but smart choices can slow declining effects.

Author Tara Parker-Pope’s New York

Times article “How to Age Well” offers several suggestions to keep bodies “tuned up and our minds tuned in.” As she says, “It’s never too late to get started.”

Losing just five percent of our body weight has been shown to reduce our risk for diabetes and heart disease. Parker-Pope suggests avoiding processed meat, and eating colorful foods like blueberries, cherries, spinach, and kale. She advises skipping packaged foods and getting tested for vitamin deficiencies.

Exercise is important to our overall health, and high intensity workouts that last fewer than fifteen minutes can be more beneficial than an hour of continuous and relatively moderate exercise. Weightlifting helps us maintain muscle mass and stronger bones. Parker-Pope points out that we don’t have to lift weights like a body builder to reap benefits. And seven to nine hours of quality shuteye each night gives our bodies the best chance to repair, restore, and revitalize.

Researchers tell us that people with healthy lifestyles and friendships live the longest so add years by staying in touch with family and friends, as well as forming new relationships. Stay connected by making friends, volunteering, joining clubs, or working. (This issue has plenty of suggestions!)

“Aging well means taking care of both the body and the mind,” says Parker-Pope. “Most of what we do to keep our bodies fit is also good for the brain.” So dance, paint, quilt, sing, write, play an instrument; these activities “add meaning, joy, and a vibrant sense of well-being to the lives of older people.”

One last thought courtesy of neuroscientist Daniel Levitin, who cites World Health Organization data from sixty countries showing that happiness grows with age. In fact, some experts say eighty-two may be the happiest age, a time when feelings of joy and contentment peak. Looks like we have a lot of living to do! FY

Judith A. Rucki is a public relations consultant and freelance writer.