The Christmas Diary

1st December

Glen came back from repairing Sally’s fence and said he had good news and bad news. The bad news was that he had ‘accidentally’ volunteered us to do Christmas dinner for our friends this year. Gulp, Christmas dinner for thirteen people – I don’t even own that many glasses. The good news was that candles are on special offer at the moment.

4th December

Glen measured up the dining table. There’s a foot per person at a push. He said I should put up the gazebo and have Christmas outside. A gazebo in the middle of winter, I ask you!

6th December

Sally messaged to say that her family like everything organic and free range. She knows some farm where the turkeys are all given names. I’ve had to pay out £70 for a turkey called Tim.

10th December

Melanie rang. Her Chris came over all peculiar in the lingerie department and now he’s being tested for coeliac. She said could I hang fire on flour until the results come in? I said didn’t the same thing happen at that tarts and vicars party? She muttered something about bad vol-au-vents and hung up.

14th December

Good news. Sally’s Matt and his girlfriend have split up so she won’t be coming; apparently there was a misunderstanding over a photo on Facebook. That gives us an extra inch per person to play with.

16th December

Glen decided to test his homemade crackers and caused an explosion that took the fairy off the tree. He said he might have to rethink given that his mum is on tablets for angina. I said I think they’ll be fine.

18th December

Matt and his girlfriend are back on – he’s proposed! Sally says we should make Christmas a double celebration and have champagne. I told Glen to buy that cheap cava and serve it up in the kitchen.

21st December

They had to call the paramedics to Chris’s works do. Apparently the girls from admin dressed up as sexy Santas and made him eat mince pies. Now he’s on complete bed rest and milky drinks until New Year. At least we’ll have elbow room now.

23rd December

Tim was delivered today, or Tiny Tim as Glen calls him. I said is it a turkey or a budgerigar? Glen had to hotfoot it down to the supermarket for the last pick of the butterballs.

24th December

Disaster of Biblical proportions! Glen put the butterball turkey in the bath to thaw and left the tap running. It was like Niagara Falls in the dining room.

25th December

We managed to salvage the day. Glen put the gazebo up. It was draughty but the sparks from the crackers and the bargain candles gave off some warmth. I’ve put my feet up now with a well-deserved sherry. I wouldn’t normally drink out of a vase, but we’re short on glassware.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Why the world was ready for Christmas

EVER WONDER why Jesus was born when He was?

The Bible tells us that “when the time had fully come, God sent forth His Son…” The Jewish people had been waiting for their Messiah for centuries. Why did God send Him precisely when He did? Many biblical scholars believe that the ‘time had fully come’ for Jesus because of the politics of the time. The Roman Empire’s sheer size and dominance had achieved something unique in world history: the opportunity for travel from Bethlehem to Berwick on Tweed without ever crossing into ‘enemy territory’ or needing a ‘passport’.

For the first time ever, it was possible for ‘common’ people to travel wide and far, and quickly spread news and ideas. And all you needed were two languages - Greek to the east of Rome, and Latin to the west and north. You could set sail from Joppa (Tel Aviv) and head for any port on the Med. And the Roman roads ran straight and true throughout the empire. So, the Roman Empire achieved something it never intended: it helped spread news of Christianity far and wide for 400 years. After that, the Empire crumbled, and the borders shut down. Not until the 19th century would people again roam so freely. The time for Jesus to be born, and for news of Him to be able to travel, had indeed ‘fully come’.

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