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By Alan Oakes

Unlocking you

1-|ven A RECENT family dinner, I was talking to my wonderful l4-year-old grand\-f son, who told me that he did not expect to get into a good college after graduating from high school. I was disappointed to hear his resignation at such an early age, but perhaps he senses how competitive it is.

Unfortunately, if you think you are going to fail, inevitably you do. If you set your goals lower, then your life potential will never be achieved. And isn't it that negativity that holds many of us back throughout our lives and careers? My grandson has to learn that we all fail at some time or other, but we need to set our goals at a high level. We will end up either achieving the higher goal or, at minimum, reaching a higher level than had we set a lower goal.

For me, a new year is a good time to look at the promise of what's ahead and be reminded of what went right and wrong in the year just finishing. Let's be honestfew of us can say that every past year has been a step forward. Most of us have not escaped having some years where we said, thankfully, this year is over and let's make the next one better. Unless you respond to and learn from those failures or down years, you cannot learn how to adapt your behavior and draw benefits from it. Ifwe are willing to accept failure or mediocrity, don't we deserve what we get?

Many of us begin a new year by making personal resolutions-to exercise, to lose weight, to quit smoking, to cut our debt-yet within 30 days, most of us have failed. The reason is that most of us are creatures of habit, easily tempted and prone to overestimate our ability to change. Indeed, we may set unachievable goals-say, dropping 50 lbs.-or underestimate what it will take to maintain our commitment. Or, we might have too many resolutions or set vague, unmeasurable goals.

Whether personal or business, unless we learn from our failures and set goals, nothing can change. We've all read about those individuals who started businesses, failed, and yet started another one and succeeded (sometimes after two or three failures). How? Why? In most cases, it was that in each failure they learned something that helped them the next time round. In fact, that spirit of not accepting failure can be what drives them to start all over again.

Not all of us can be c.e.o.s or sales managers-and don't have to be to feel happy and successful. But who determines it should not be us? The reality is that it is ourselves! If we have no plan or determination to succeed, if we are willing to accept the status quo, we end up in a life that later we look back on and blame everyone for but ourselves.

At the age of 19, in about my third job after leaving high school in the U.K., I realizedthat I was not going to go anywhere unless I took control of my life, set aggressive goals, and strove to offer something different from those around me. I adopted two basic philosophies for my business life. One, do everything with the highest level ofenergy and passion possible. I saw early-on the lethargy around the office with people who just showed up. That was not going to be me. Even at this age I cannot do anything without doing my best (thanks, Mum). Second, do not be content with going nowhere-meaning that if I cannot move myself and life on, it's time for change. I was not going to stay with a company unless I could see a path for personal growth. Has all been successful? No, I have had my failures-some quite painful. But when I failed, I didn't stand still. I spent every waking hour analyzing what, if anything, I did wrong and determining what it would take to bounce back. In most cases, I found something better the next

Take the time to figure out what you really want out of your life and career. Analyze what you are going to do to achieve your business and personal goals. For most of us, good things don't happen unless we make them happen. We are in control of our own life potentiall

Alan Oakes, Publisher ajoakes@aol.com

www.building-products.com

A publication of Cutler Publishing 4500 Campus Dr., Ste.480, Newport Beach, CA 92660

Publisher Alan Oakes ajoakes@aol.com

Publisher Emeritus David Cutler

Director of Editorial & Production David Koenig dkoenig@building-products.com

Editor Karen Debats kdebats@building-products.com

Contributing Editors

Dwight Cunan James Olsen

Carla Waldemar

Advertising Sales Manager Chuck Casey ccasey@building-products.com

Administration Director/Secretary Marie 0akes mfpoakes@aol,com

Circulation Manager Heather Kelly hkelly@building-products.com

How to Advertise

Chuck Casey

Phone (949) 852-1990 Fax 949-852-0231 ccasey@building-products.com

Alan Oakes www.building-products.com

Phone (949) 852-1990 Fax 949-852-0231 ajoakes@aol.com

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David Koenig

Phone (949) 852-1990 Fax 949-852-0231 dkoenig@building-products.com

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