BULL Magazine 2014 Issue 2 by BULL Magazine

Issue 02, 2014 / FREE

CAT CAFÉ CRAZE / BOOBY MANIA / KING-HITTING THE MEDIA / TEXAN NIGHT LIGHTS / THE STUTTERING PHENOMENON

Issue 02 CONTENTS

CONTENTS

Editors

Eden Caceda Katie Davern Sophie Gallagher Melanie Kembrey Rob North Sean O’Grady

F E ATUR E S

HELLO KITTY, MY OLD FRIEND YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL & SURGICALLY ENHANCED BEHIND THE HEADLINES 19 HOOK 'EM 27 A VERY ORDINARY LIFE 32

REPORTERS

Alisha Aitken-Radburn Erin Rooney Kirsty Timsans Mary Ward

Contributors

Bernadette Anvia, Lauren Beech Adam Chalmers, Nakita Dass Whitney Duan, Emma Gajzler Rebecca Karpin, Samuel McEwen Alberta McKenzie, Alexandra Mildenhall Virat Nehru, Aleksandra Pasternacki Alexi Polden, Mitchell Ryan, Emily Shen Katie Stow, Louisa Studman Shayma Taweel

Publications Manager Louisa Stylian

Design manager Jeanette Kho

R E GULARS What’s On 04 Editorial & Board 06 Letters 07 Opinion 09 Interview 16 Taste 22 Go 23 Move 24 Learn 25 The Time I Tried 31 Campus Fashion 35 Vox & Classic Countdown 36 Cow & Horns 37 Arts 39 Reviews 40 Experience 41 Club Confidential 42 Shutter Up 44 Comics 45 Ask Isabella 46

/bullmag

/USUbullmag

Design

Simon Macias Peta Harris

CONTACT

usubullmag@gmail.com facebook.com/bullmag @usubullmag usu.edu.au/bullmag The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of the USU. The information contained within this edition of Bull was correct at the time of printing. This publication is brought to you by the University of Sydney Union

Issue 02, 2014 CORRECTION The Interview in BULL Issue 01 incorrectly stated that Georgia Hitch is 20 years old. She is actually 21.

Write for us! Whether you’re a budding student journalist or have a random idea that could be a great story, email us and you could get published here. usubullmag@gmail.com

bull usu.edu.au WHAT'S ON

WHAT'S ON For the FULL CALENDAR OF EVENTS – head to USU.EDU. AU AND CLICK THE CALENDAR. Clubs and Socs – remember to submit your events on the website!

MON

wk 5 (MArch/april)

FRI

INTERFAITH FESTIVAL MARKETS Eastern Avenue, 9AM–4pm MUSE presents Anything Goes Seymour Centre, 7.30pm 90s PARTY Manning Bar,8pm

INTERFAITH FESTIVAL MUSE presents Anything Goes Seymour Centre, 7.30pm

MUSE presents Anything Goes Seymour Centre, 7.30pm

CELEBRATING 100 YEARS OF THE SYDNEY UNIVERSITY WOMEN'S UNION HERMANN'S BAR, 7pm

funch Eastern Avenue, 12–2pm

seth sentry Manning Bar, 8pm

TGIF (TELL GRADS IT’S FRIDAY) DRINKS Hermann’s Bar, 5pm

health and wellbeing week

health and wellbeing week markets Eastern Avenue, 9AM–4pm

health and wellbeing week

health &

wellbeingweek

08– 10 APRIL

THU

wk 6 (april)

WED

INTERFAITH FESTIVAL wk4 (MArch)

TUE

08–1 0 APRI L

wk 7 (april)

FUNCH Eastern Avenue, 12-2pm

mid sem break

Issue 02 what's on

every week monday – friday

MONDAY SOLO SESSIONS 1-2pm, Manning Bar

THURSDAY

$3.50 HAPPY HOUR

THEATRESPORTS®

4-6pm, Manning Bar and Hermann’s Bar

1-2pm, Manning BarBar

MUST SEE

POOL COMPETITION

SETH SENTRY

Bingo

4-6pm, International Student Lounge

With Bam Bam + Lyall Moloney

5-6pm, Manning Bar

$3.50 HAPPY HOUR

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

4-6pm, Manning Bar and Hermann’s Bar

12-5pm, Manning

Debating Regionals

AUSTRALIAN DISCUSSION GROUP

Beat The System – Local Bands and DJs

TRIVIA

Tuesday TV

5.15pm, Woolley N395

5pm, Hermann’s Bar

3-4pm, Level 4 Wentworth Building

5-6pm, Manning Bar

$3.50 HAPPY HOUR

4-6pm, Manning Bar and Hermann’s Bar

DJs

2 for 1 schnitty

$3.50 HAPPY HOUR

6-8pm, Manning Bar

4-6pm, Manning Bar and Hermann’s Bar

Get Up! Stand Up! 5-6pm, Manning

$3.50 HAPPY HOUR

FRIDAY 4-7pm, Hermann’s Bar

Thursday 3rd April 2014 8pm, Manning Bar // +18 Ruling the airwaves with infectious singles ‘The Waitress Song’, ‘Dear Science’ and ‘Float Away’, Melbourne rapper Seth Sentry is taking the Manning Bar stage this April. His latest album, This Was Tomorrow, was dubbed “a landmark Australian hip hop record” by Time Out Magazine, and is a solid work of Australian art and culture. Seth will be supported by Melbourne MC Bam Bam and Sydney based Lyall Maloney. ACCESS: $20+bf / Non-ACCESS: $29+bf Tickets from manningbar.com

COMING UP twelve foot ninja

29 MAR

SETH SENTRY

3 APR

feat. BAM BAM + LYALL MOLONEY

KREATOR + DEATH ANGEL

manningbar.com

/Manningbarsydney

VIBESQUAD + SPOONBILL

3 MAY

PSYFARI FESTIVAL LAUNCH PARTY

5 APR 18 APR

25 APR

feat. BAM BAM + LYALL MOLONEY

RUSSIAN CIRCLES 17 MAY

SEPTICFLESH + FLESHGOD

6 JUN @Manningbar

feat. Rise Of Avernus + The Seer

PROPAGANDHI #manningbar

bull usu.edu.au EDITORIAL

FROM THE EDITORS EDEN, KATIE, SOPHIE, MELANIE, ROB, SEAN

BOARD Q&A: HANNAH MORRIS USU PRESIDENT B: O-Week annually receives large amounts of corporate sponsorship. Recently, corporate sponsorship of the campus culture program was unveiled. Is this a strategy that the USU plans to continue to pursue? HM: The USU has recently employed a sponsorship director to facilitate and capitalise on sponsorship opportunities for USU student programs.

Over the first few weeks of semester, rather than settling into our tutorials and making friends in lectures, we did what only seemed right: downed beers at the Flodge and edited the quality journalism produced by University of Sydney students. If this is your first time picking up BULL you might be somewhat bewildered by the appearance of a fat fury feline on the cover. Truth is we're a little cat crazy and decided to investigate humankind's long obsession with the seemingly apathetic creatures. We also deliver a sucker-punch to

the mainstream media's portrayal of drunken violence and answer your questions about American college football and how you too can “bleed orange” in Texas. As you pretend to take notes in this lecture, flick through these pages and learn more about stuttering. Read about Miss Chu’s amazing life story as you munch on the vegemite sandwich your mum made you and know that pretty much everything you will ever need to know about boob jobs is in your hot little hands right now. Enjoy!

B: Is it appropriate for corporations to become financially involved in student life?

sponsorship for the USU, as consistent with the values of our organisation.

HM: Taking for example the O-Week festival, corporate sponsorship has been integral to the ability of this festival to expand and provide more for students. The fact that Clubs and Society stalls are provided for clubs free of charge (noting that O-Week is the key recruitment point for many of these clubs in order to gain members for the year) could only be made possible through corporate sponsorship. It is important to remember that the USU is a not-for-profit organisation, and that any revenue we raise, whether it be from our bars, external music gigs, food outlets, retail store, or corporate sponsors, goes straight back into expanding the scope and reach of our student programs and services. B: What are the criteria for determining whether or not a corporation is appropriate to provide sponsorship? HM: The USU has an Advertising and Sponsorship policy which outlines the criteria that determines whether a corporation is appropriate to provide

B: Some members have commitments that prevent them from participating in on campus events, yet they might have more need for assistance from the Union than those with the necessary free time and expendable income. In light of this, should access to USU resources be means tested? HM: The USU is continually looking for more ways to enable our services and resources to be more accessible to members. For example, for the past two years we have partnered with the University to provide Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students with free ACCESS cards, and the large price reduction for ACCESS card sales this year came out of the recognition that not all students have expendable incomes and we want try to remove financial barriers that prevent students from engaging with us. Ideally we are moving towards a model where ACCESS cards are free for all students, allowing all members to engage with our programs and services without the financial limitations.

Issue 02 7 LETTERS & PICK OF THE MONTH

LETTERS BULL wants to hear from you Tell us about the stories you shared with your friends or those you placed on the bottom of your budgie cage. Or just write and let us know you’re lonely. Email usubullmag@gmail.com

DEAR BULL , While I understand that all manner of issues and topics are often addressed on Facebook, and that these conversations are often heated, I would not feel the need to point out my disappointment in Ms Eve Radunz, USU Board Director and Women’s Portfolio holder, had her position not been used to validate her opinion and dismiss those of other women who disagreed with her. I do find it concerning that a Board Director would so carelessly comment on Facebook, dismissing other women’s concerns and ideas as lesser to one who holds a position of power in the union. In fairness to Ms Radunz, it was not her who brought up her position in the Union, but her campaign manager and former SRC Wom*n’s Officer, Hannah Smith. I suggest perhaps that in future you request your friends do not use your position in an attempt to end discussion on your contentious remarks. According to Ms Radunz in a comment on a Facebook post about the autonomous organising of wom*n’s self defence classes, organised with the blessing and interest of this year’s wom*n’s collective officers, and with printing assistance from the USU, are nothing but way of victim blaming. More concerning was her equating them to pro-life propaganda on campus. This is at best a poorly phrased analogy, and at worst an insulting and hurtful one. One attacks women who chose not to follow through with a pregnancy they did not want. The other allows wom*n a space to regain control and feel empowered after being the victim of assault or to feel more confident in themselves. Pro-life propaganda attacks a wom*n’s right to choose, Ms Radunz’s comment attacks a wom*n's right to choose how she deals with her own experiences. ~ Julia Robins (Arts III)

DEAR EDITOR, One person’s meat is another person’s poison! After Labor was roasted by the media, Labor were the sacrificial lambs led to the slaughter at the last “Spring Roast” Sept 7,

2013 Australian Federal election! Labor now lies doggo! Labor now conducts fishing expeditions! The voting cattle of Australia used their horse sense and calmly voted for The Liberal Party and The National Party at the last “Spring Roast” Australian election Sept 7, 2013 . As a result Tony Abbott became the top dog at the Aussie Barbecue! Now with some hot issues to deal with, he has become the hot dog and the top dog all at once! Wee doggie, Elly May! Tony Abbott is the meat in the sandwich. He is neither the beef nor the chicken! He is not the ham and chicken! Tony Abbott is a silly sausage but he cannot cut the mustard! He doesn’t provide the meat that the big meat eaters eat! He is the lamb dressed up as mutton. He is not worth a pork chop in a Jewish synagogue. Voters now have “lambnesia” about their votes as they put another shrimp on the barbecue. You know it makes sense. I am not Sam Kekovitch!! ~ Jane Wallace Eds:Were you Kevin Rudd’s speech writer?

DEAR BULL , I like humour. I like jokes. But I did not like the trivialisation of the acts committed by figures like Stalin, Hitler and Mussolini against persecuted minorities for the benefit of a laugh in ‘Pick of the Month: Casual Dog’ in the inaugural issue of BULL magazine this year. There is edgy and risqué writing, and then there are offensive pieces. Whoever wrote this piece, please work harder to create the former, not the latter. And to those that think this is a pedantic rant, consider those who lost aspects of their heritage and members of their family because of these individuals, myself included. ~ Anonymous Eds: We’re sorry.You’re right, rookie error. We got too casual writing about casual dog.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson We at BULL don’t usually go for the bald, aggressive, over-muscular types, but Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the action hero of our generation. He’s been severely misunderstood and disadvantaged by his association with The Rock of “CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?” wrestling fame. No matter how many times he has requested to be referred to as Dwayne rather than The Rock, he is still frequently identified by his ring name and it’s downright unfair that such a talent should be so reduced to just his brawn. The man is more than his muscles. His acting roles have been varied and critically well received. There was Walking Tall in which he played a former U.S Army sergeant. Then there were those The Fast and The Furious movies where he was a U.S. Diplomatic Security Service (DSS) agent. He was a detective in The Other Guys. Oh, and in Get Smart he was Agent 23. You’re right, there seems to be some pattern here and it’s his greatness. He is the most underrated actor of our time. He also seems to be the only professional wrestler who has gotten bigger once out of the ring. We’ll leave you with this insight from Dwayne himself: “I love making people laugh and feel good, and that’s awesome and special for me to be able to do that, but there really is nothing like kicking ass whether it’s on a major scale, or whether it’s in more of a dramatic fashion. Being physical and taking care of business the oldfashioned way is something that I love doing.” And we love you for doing it Dwayne.

health &wellbeingweek 08–10 APRI L

PLAY TUE 08 APRIL fundraiser (ManningEAT Bar) PLAY comedyTHINK “How to Make Friends on Campus”

Bike n Blend Breakfast Gulliver the Giant Guide Dog

THINK WED 09 APRIL

EAT Info Fair (all day) THINKHealth & Wellbeing

PLAY

“Meet the Counsellors” Mental Health Panel SURG’s Happy Hour

EAT THUR 10 APRIL

EAT Health & Wellbeing Food Market (all day)

THINK

“You Don’t Make Friends With Salad” No Homers Club BBQ Food Co-op Cooking Class

WELLBEING ZONE, EASTERN AVE /USUAccess

MSS212

@USUAccess

/USUonline

usu.edu.au

Issue 02 OPINION

OPINION ARE WE REALLY ‘ALL BOAT PEOPLE’?

SHAYMA TAWEEL When conversation turns to asylum seekers, the Abbott government’s policies and the alarmist reporting style of major media outlets are both clearly worthy of much critique. However those who do criticise Australia’s immigration policies have often unwittingly played into the same conservative understandings of Australian history. Enter the phrase: ‘we’re all boat people’. Most people use it with good intentions; generally trying to redress the dehumanisation of asylum seekers. However, the assumptions behind this well-meaning sentiment conflate civilians fleeing conflict or extreme poverty with a European colonial population. Assumptions like this ignore the different levels of power between the two groups – the latter imposed (and arguably continues to impose) its own economic and social structures on to the native population.

RUSSIAN GAY RIGHTS AND FOREIGN POLICY

BERNADETTE ANVIA In a constantly changing international environment, ideological clashes between the US and Russia are an ever present fixture. The start of 2014 marked the beginning of a decidedly new and different source of tension on the international stage; the issue of gay rights ahead of the Olympic Winter Games in Sochi. Prior to the Games, Russia was justifiably condemned for the deplorable treatment of its homosexual community. International solidarity with repressed members of the Russian LGBTIQ community found expression in the Opening Ceremony

This context is lost when the two forms of immigration are lumped together in the name of solidarity. When you think of boat people, ‘vulnerable’ is probably one of the first adjectives that comes to mind. The idea of vulnerability is quite incongruous with the reality of British conquest, especially considering the treatment of the existing population. This seems to fall within a larger trend of conventional Australian political and historical discourses where there is almost a complete erasure of the issues surrounding Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander experiences. The near non-existence of debate regarding the Northern Territory Intervention in the lead up to the 2013 election is a good example. The death of Iranian asylum seeker Reza Berati on Manus Island

was followed by protests across the nation’s major cities, yet when was the last time non-Indigenous Australians actively protested individual Aboriginal deaths in custody? The circumstances of Australia’s development are half hidden in shame; ‘we’re all boat people’ appears humanitarian but is really just a cop out from admitting the darker side of Australian history. The ‘unifying’ nature of rhetoric such as ‘we’re all boat people’ may challenge the racial othering used by politicians and journalists but it fails to confront Australia’s culture of forgetting when it comes to our colonial atrocities. These issues continue to slip out of view, while the real suffering of asylum seekers is watered down to allow comparisons to the British colonialist experience.

speech of the International Olympic Committee President, Thomas Bach, who declared that the Games “are never about erecting walls...[they] are a sports festival in praising human diversity in great unity.” Yet, President Obama, French President Hollande and Prime Minister David Cameron publicly refused to attend the Opening Ceremony in what was alleged to be a stand against gay discrimination in Russia, despite never having been invited. In so doing, what had begun as a domestic issue suddenly assumed the importance of a foreign policy issue. As a result, the Western media effectively chose to focus on an all-consuming antiRussian discourse that fed on and rejoiced in any supposed failures of Russia. Through avenues such as #SochiProblems, the Western world began to focus exclusively on making a mockery of the Russian

nation state, whether or not the LGBTIQ community in Russia really desired this or not. Anton Krasovksy, a former newsreader who was fired after coming out on air, told The Guardian that the hysteria surrounding the Games was bad, saying, “Putin is not Hitler. Sochi is not Berlin 1936. When I read the calls for boycotting the Olympics I was absolutely disgusted.” Andrei Tanichev, the owner of Mayak, one of Sochi’s only gay clubs, added, “The level of noise has been greater than the size of the problem.” Russia does, undoubtedly, have a long way to go in recognising the rights of its queer community. But the Western world also has a long way to go in recognising that advocating for gay rights is quite different to proliferating a discourse completely adverse to the very international unity it supposedly supports.

"‘we’re all boat people’ appears humanitarian but is really just a cop out from admitting the darker side of Australian history"

10 bull usu.edu.au FEATURE

Hello Kitty, My Old Friend

Issue 02 11 FEATURE

Rob North paws over the strange relationship between human beings and cats, and the new kind of coffee shop making visitors purr.

It is often said that our canine companions hold the auspicious title of man’s best friend. This is altogether unfortunate for cats, who, as it turns out, have been at our side for thousands of years. Despite their often aloof and downright cold demeanours, cats have long occupied a special place in our hearts. The earliest evidence of cat domestication dates back to ancient China, where some 5300 years ago wild felines were attracted to the rural farming village of Quanhucun by the large number of rats scavenging local stores of grain. New archaeological research published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in December indicates that what began as a purely symbiotic relationship between the farmers and the wild cats in some cases developed into close bonds and friendships. With obvious mutual benefits, the wild cats lived in close proximity to humans, with some receiving grain as food. Cats were similarly adopted by the ancient Egyptians, where they were worshipped as demi-gods. And despite associations with the Devil and witchcraft in Middle Ages and later in Europe, modern man continues to be amazed by all things feline. Between adorable pictures, hilarious memes, and a woman inexplicably breaking down and declaring her love for the fourlegged creatures in a cringeworthy eHarmony video, it’s obvious: humans love cats. But perhaps the most peculiar modern manifestation of our enduring obsession with our feline friends is the invention and popularisation of the cat café. Originating in Taiwan in 1998, these weirdly wonderful coffee shops offer patrons the chance to enjoy a hot beverage or two whilst surrounded by tens of happily roaming fur balls, ready to be stroked, petted or played with. The cute concept quickly achieved ubiquity in the major cities of Japan and South Korea, where the prevalence of apartments and the pressures of urban life make pet ownership difficult. In Hongdae, an urban ‘indie’ area

of Seoul roughly analogous to Newtown, cat cafés are a popular date spot for the local student population. Hidden away in a back alley and above a hairdresser, the small café Cats Living is home to around 30 cats. Despite its concealment, the shop sees as many as 60 visitors a day, and attendant Jinye Jo says it’s all smiles for guests, cats and staff alike. “I really like working with cats,” she says. “When I see guests happy, and the cats happy, my heart feels happy.” And soon Australians may get the chance to enjoy coffee with cats on home soil, with plans to open the nation’s very first cat café well underway. Melbourne couple Anita and Myles Loughran are currently searching for a suitable location to establish their pioneering Aussie cat café business in the Victorian state capital. “Melbourne especially has a great café culture and when you add on something unique and fun people want to be a part of it,” Anita says. Early last year the couple visited a cat café in Japan, and like many before them were fascinated and charmed. When she returned to Australia, Anita says she felt dissatisfied with her job at a call centre, and soon found herself wanting to replicate the unique experience down under. “After three months I was already thinking of quitting,” she says. “The job wasn’t challenging or rewarding, and I had no passion for it. Myles jokingly suggested we open Australia’s first cat café and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” The couple immediately began researching the idea, and discussed their plans with Melbourne City Council. Initially Anita was not sure if it would be legal or feasible to open a cat café in the city centre, and wanted to ensure their proposed establishment would adhere to all relevant government regulations. “It took a while to convince them that I was serious,” she says. “They had never even heard of a cat café so explaining it in detail was the first step. Even then they had nothing to base their decisions on.

“After three months of emails and phone calls they set a list of requirements for the fit out of the premises. I believe the Melbourne City Council is now looking forward to seeing how a cat cafe is accepted in Australia.” Their plans to open a cat café follows the success of similar entrepreneurs in Europe. Britain’s first cat café, Lady Dinah’s Cat Emporium, was opened by Australian expat Lauren Pears in London earlier this month. Pears received over $200,000 in just two months on the world’s largest crowdfunding website Indiegogo, which she used to partially finance the venture. Anita and Myles decided to follow suit, setting the modest goal of $45,000. “Indiegogo has become a bit of a café start-up initiation now, with ten [entrepreneurs] having used it to launch their cat café to the world,” Anita says. And despite receiving just $11,000, Anita says the crowd funding will be instrumental in getting the store off the ground. It will go towards partitioning the kitchen from the cat area, as well as providing scratching posts and climbing trees for the cats’ enjoyment. “This will create an engaging environment for the cats which I’m sure the contributors will be glad to see them playing on.” On the Indiegogo campaign page, user matthewtaggdammers said he is looking forward to the establishment of the café. He pledged $16, and declared this would be the best thing to ever happen to Melbourne. “I’m sitting in my room with tears in my eyes thinking of all the cats I’ll be able to cuddle, the little bean toes I’ll be able to squish, the bellies I’ll be able to rub.” User kate.lightfoot.art is similarly excited. “Oh dear God, please let this happen. Coffee tastes so much better with purrs and a little cat fur.” Only time will tell if the venture will truly be the cat’s meow, but it’s sure to spark the curiosity of countless feline fans across Australia.

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THE ORIGINAL AND STILL THE BEST

Issue 02 13 FEATURE

More and more young Australians are putting their boobs, brows, ears and eyelids under the knife, writes Melanie Kembrey.

The whole office knows that Alyse Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Arcy, 22, is getting a boob job. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been talking about it for weeks. Every time she passes my desk en route to the kitchen she tells me a little more about it. It will cost $7500. She is currently a C cup but she wants to be a DD. The implants will be silicon. One of her friends had the same thing done and lost all feeling in her nipple for six months. Another had one of her brand spanking new breasts suddenly fall out of line and drop towards the ground. Everyone agreed it was really her own fault for going nightclubbing without wearing her post-operative chest girdle. More and more young Australians are putting their boobs, brows, ears and eyelids onto the operating table and under the knife. Once a procedure largely reserved for the stars and starlets in Tinseltown, the nip and tuck has become increasingly accessible for any Joe or Jane who wants their chin enhanced or their thighs reshaped.

The plastic surgery industry in Australia is worth $788 million and it has grown by an annualised 5.3 per cent over the five years to 2013, according to IBISWorld. The exact number of people who have had cosmetic surgery isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t known because no national statistics are collected but industry workers say the trade in redesigning people is booming and it shows fewer signs of dropping than the skin around your eyelids. The Australian industry, which IBISWorld says consists of 356 businesses and employs more than 2000 people, is still small fry compared to the United States. Americans spent $11 billion on cosmetic procedures in 2012 with breast augmentation, nose jobs and liposuction on top of the surgical wish list. Alyse logs onto Facebook and points out all her friends who have had cosmetic surgery. Most of them have deleted photographs of themselves prior to getting the work done, so she has to do some sleuth work to find before and after

14 bull usu.edu.au FEATURE

shots for me. The thought of getting a boob job crossed her mind for the first time last year and she’s now paid a deposit to the same surgeon who operated on one of her friends. “If I hadn’t met these women and seen their stories and found how easy it is to get done I probably would never have thought about doing it. It’s actually very accessible, so why not do it?” she says. “I’m not heaps excited but I think once I have them I'll be like ‘Oh my god! I don't know how I lived without it’. I have plenty of girlfriends who say the same things, they thought they were fine with what they had, but now they have implants it’s so much better.” It’s not Pamela Anderson-esque cleavage that Alyse is after; it’s a rounder breast shape. “I’m not worried about the size, I wouldn’t care if my boobs stayed the same size,” she says. “I like the shape that an implant gives you. It’s completely round and they are always hard and they stay like that. They look better in clothes, in swimmers. You don’t have to worry about anything ever. You never have to buy a padded bra again.” She tells me she knows other people in the office have had work done and I spend the rest of the afternoon trying to guess whom. Unlike Alyse, Lani Kennedy had been desperate to get breast implants since she was 15. She was so insecure about the size of her breasts before her surgery two years ago she didn’t like partners to see her topless and would always wear silicon bra inserts or chicken fillets. “I’ve pretty much always wanted implants. My mum didn’t have very large breasts, well no breasts at all, and I followed suit. It was more of a self confidence thing, I wanted to be able to wear nice shirts or nice dresses and feel girly about myself,” the 26-year-old says. She went from an A cup size to a DD/E and she thinks the $7190 investment has paid dividends. “It’s the best thing

I’ve ever done. I just feel more like a woman now, I can even just do things like wear a singlet. I don’t feel like a 12-year-old girl anymore. I feel like a woman.” Her words seem to find a strange echo in this month’s WHO which is plastered with pictures of Olympic swimmer Stephanie Rice before and after she had her two nose jobs. “It was always something I knew I would do. It was not a question of if, but of when,” the three-time gold medalist is quoted in the magazine as saying. “Seeing the better version of my nose made me realise how much it had been affecting me.” But Sydney University honorary professor and Everybody’s Different author Dr Jennifer O’Dea doesn’t buy the idea that cosmetic surgery can boost a young person’s self-esteem. The cosmetic surgery industry is a profit-driven one, she says, which like any other capitalistic enterprise has to have high volume sales and repeat ones. The market promises what can’t be bought – self worth and selfsatisfaction – without any intention of delivering. “The industry deliberately promises what it can’t deliver, self esteem, but its very nature means that the person can never be satisfied with themselves because there is always another procedure that the consumer will ‘need to buy’. It is an elusive ‘product’ with neverending sales potential,” Dr O’Dea says. “True self worth comes from a real sense of self competence in many life fields, true friendships, good relationships, self acceptance and thus, acceptance of others – not a cute nose.” The risks of cosmetic surgery aren’t nearly as pretty as the complete confidence in a swimsuit that can be promised. Fluid accumulation, asymmetry, cardiac complications, fat necrosis and the rather frightening sounding “major wound separation” are all potential side effects. And while women

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever done... I don’t feel like a 12-year-old girl anymore. I feel like a woman.”

Issue 02 15 FEATURE

are lining up to have their boobs outwardly expanded, the regulations have largely stayed the same size in Australia. It is not illegal for a doctor without formal surgical training to conduct plastic surgery. That means your family GP could do the job for you; they could also do it right then and there in their office. “In Australia it is not illegal to conduct surgical procedures in an unaccredited facility such as an office space or day procedure centre. In these settings there is often no quality assurance and no way for authorities to monitor that the surgery is being performed safely and expertly,” the Australian Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) says. There is also limited regulation or standardisation when it does come to the use of titles to describe qualifications in the area of cosmetic surgery. According to ASPS, there’s been an increase in irresponsible advertising by medical practitioners who describe themselves as surgeons or imply they have formal surgical qualifications when they do not. “As a result, prospective patients can become confused, and given the high level of trust Australians put in the medical profession, they are vulnerable and at risk from those operating outside of their skill and training level,” ASPS says. A substantial number of people are also boarding planes – commonly to Thailand, Malaysia and South America – for cheaper cosmetic procedures. One woman I speak to says she went to Phuket for breast implants last year where she paid half the price she would in Australia. The whole holiday package – flights, accommodation, food and surgery – was cheaper than the price of the procedure alone in her home country. “I wanted to get them done and knew of people who had gone overseas and been fine so I wasn’t too scared. I listened to friends’ recommendations and researched the place thoroughly. It was the only way I could do it, I couldn’t afford the cost here,”

said Sarah, 21, who asked that her last name not be published. “It was all well and fine and I would probably recommend it to other people who want work done but feel like they will never be able to save the money.” But there are horror stories of untrained surgeons, poor quality facilities and dodgy brokers and travel agents out to get some buck at the expense of a breast or two. If Dr O’Dea had her way, Sarah wouldn’t even have been eligible to get breast implants in Australia. Currently, Queensland is the only state where surgeons who operate on children without regards to their “best interest” can be jailed for two years. Children who want to undergo cosmetic procedures need signed parental consent, at least two consultations and a three-month cooling-off period. Doctors are pushing for the same ban on non-essential cosmetic surgery for under 18s in all Australian states. But Dr O’Dea says 21 should be the age limit and even then she believes decisionmaking would be limited by real life experience and low critical thinking skills. “Counselling should be mandatory. Most ‘customers’ have very low self worth. That is, a true sense of self-value that is intrinsic, not determined by looks or outside influences. A good psychologist could pick this up before the life-long merry-go-round of cosmetic surgery begins,” she says. By the end of the month Alyse will return to the office with her bigger, and she says better, boobs. “I just want them. To me, I want to be the best I can be and I know that’s got nothing to do with what I look like on the outside. It’s the inside and I know that. I want to be a nice person, I want to do nice things for people,” she says. She doesn’t think she will get any more cosmetic surgery in the near future and she’s going to wear her post-operative chest girdle as long as the doctor tells her.

“The industry deliberately promises what it can’t deliver, self esteem, but its very nature means that the person can never be satisfied with themselves...”

16 bull usu.edu.au INTERVIEW

INTERVIEW Nahji Chu

Issue 02 17 INTERVIEW

Interview Nahji Chu

Nahji descends the escalator directly adjacent to her George St Tuckshop at exactly 12pm, the time set for our appointment. She later describes herself as an obsessive compulsive (watching her draw straight lines on pieces of paper without breaking focus as we talk confirms this). I stand up and nervously introduce myself. She is harsh and tells me that our interview will have to wait. She hasn’t visited the store in months, and nothing is as it should be. As she frets over how teapots are laid out and the unnatural manner in which a fake chicken is perched on a hanging light (“A real chicken wouldn’t do that. We’re real”), I sit and nervously take notes. It is a rare opportunity to see an interview subject in their natural environment, and it feels taboo. Each time she walks past I expect her to be as ferocious with me as she is with her staff. I recoil and cover my notes, expecting to be reprimanded, told that I can’t publish any of this. No such admonishment comes. It is through a gap year I spent teaching English in Vietnam that I begin to understand how Miss Chu became the woman she is. I arrived just as the rice harvest began; education ceased as prospective students were called into the fields to work. With nothing else to do, I attempted to help with the harvest. I sat on the sidelines, shocked as the men (me included) smoked cigarettes and ate watermelon. We ventured in occasionally to retrieve the bales, cut and tied by the women, bent double, sickle in hand, who were harvesting the crop. Attempts to do more were rejected. Early on, our conversation turns to how she became as outspoken and determined as she is, how she became the woman who at 12 picked fights with the customers of her aunties restaurants and cafes. They would bring in a case of beer, get pissed, and spend only a few dollars on the delicious Vietnamese fare. The quiet deference to the “locals” exercised by her kin did not come naturally to the firebrand. She would often start arguments with patrons, accusing them of ripping off the hard-working staff. It was a business model that never made sense to Nahji. Why not sell the booze to them? She says that her courage came from being the oldest child. She clarifies this statement. She was a middle child of six,

but the oldest female. Vietnamese women do the lion’s share of the work. Un-like the men in her family, she was expected to cook and clean in addition to pursuing an education and working. It is almost a miracle that Nahji became the self appointed ‘Queen of Rice Paper Rolls’. Vietnamese children, the offspring of migrants, were expected to study medicine or law. Failing that, they were to become an accountant or work in an office, jobs that offered security. It is only as a last resort that they were to return to the same employment as their elders, the world of phô and rice paper rolls. Ethnically Vietnamese, Nahji escaped Laos in the 1970s where she lived with her family, amidst a communist insurgency. The same childhood photo that was her refugee Visa is also the company logo. Her personal history contradicts the narrative propagated by conservative commentators. Her family didn’t come to Australia to take our jobs, they came to do the jobs nobody else wanted. Nahji identifies as both Vietnamese and Australian. In many ways her work is indelibly tied to her ethnic and cultural heritage. Cooking was the role of women. Her business is, at its most basic level, a direct continuation of this role. She moved out of home at the age of 18 to escape the oppression to which she was subjected in the Vietnamese enclaves of her youth. She was escaping not just from the subordination she experienced at home, but also from the pressure to succumb to, and not to challenge the racism she experienced. To change the way Australians think of Vietnamese people, Nahji felt the need to succeed on their terms. Nahji does sell them the booze now. But she doesn’t back down from a fight either. She says she cops flack from people who dislike the political message behind her brand. “Why don’t you just shut up and sell us the food? What’s with all this political shit?” she says loudly, imitating those who don’t want their beliefs about refugees challenged whilst they enjoy Peking duck pancakes. The narrative that emerges from Miss Chu’s pro-refugee stance also diverges from the narrative of the Australian left. Yes, Australia should accept everyone that chooses to flee from war torn and strife

ridden countries, but she doesn’t see refugees - or anyone for that matter as being entitled to government benefits. She has ambitious plans to found a microfinancing agency in Australia. She plans to one day move out of restaurants and focus full time on philanthropy. Miss Chu knows that sometimes people need help, but she loathes a culture of welfare dependency. She will lend them the money to get started, but she wants a guarantee that it will come back to her. I feel like this transcends a financial relationship, that it is indicative of a compact wherein Nahji will place her trust in people, so long as they are willing to work as hard as her. As best as I can tell this comes from the dogged determination – an inescapable need to succeed – that Nahji possesses. For her, it is almost incomprehensible that someone could fail and not get back on their feet. That does not mean Nahji hasn’t experienced failure. She just refuses to succumb to it. For her politics is part of the brand. I get the impression that in Nahji’s eyes those ungrateful patrons of her aunties restaurants growing up are almost identical to those that now whine about their phô being politicised. Nahji is incredibly proud of the rich contributions that Vietnamese people have made to Australian culture. And for as long as she feels undervalued and victimised, or that others are suffering similar persecution, she isn’t going to be quiet about it. Her brand of activism does not sit well with most of the discourse on minority rights. Her delivery slogan “You ling we bling” is an appropriation of the racial slurs she had to deal with growing up in working class Footscray. There are those out there that have criticised her for it. Criticising the slogan itself is likely to lead people to misread the business Nahji has created. The brand is an expression of her. A failed director, it allows her to make aesthetic statements. A failed journalist, it is the vehicle by which she makes political comments. A successful chef, she will serve her fare to all who come. It tells the story of her life, and it is a story that must be told on her terms. It is not our place to tell her how to express her oppression.

SEAN O'GRADY

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prize pool of over $5000 enteR at www.manningbar.com entRies Close Fri 28 March Heats staRt tue 15 april @ Manning Bar For more info contact gala Hazell on 9563 6116 or g.hazell@usu.usyd.edu.au

OPS153

Issue 02 19 FEATURE

Behind the Headlines Sophie Gallagher investigates the complexities of street violence. On October 9 2009, 18-year-old Sam Ford was walking along the Coolangatta strip with his girlfriend, en route to a local nightclub. Across the road, Damian Ford (of no relation) was becoming irate. Fuelled by a cocktail of alcohol and masculinity, he spotted Sam and chased him down. Swinging blindly, he grabbed hold of his neck. Despite Sam breaking free, it would be the next punch that caused the most damage. The blow caused him to hit the road almost instantly, and a harmful fit ensued. His girlfriend screamed, his brother panicked, Damian ran, and Sam’s brain stem was crushed. He was paralysed on one side of his body, left wheelchair-bound for the rest of his life, struggling to survive inside an incompatible body that refused to work. “I drove to the hospital, praying the entire way that Sam was going to be okay, that it was just a few cuts and bruises,” said Margaret Ford, Sam’s mother. “I was in shock, because my boys are lovers not fighters.” However, upon arriving at the emergency department, with two

policemen by his bedside and the doctor rushing to perform a brain scan, she realised the severity of the attack. His father, Michael, became frustrated recalling his pleas to the group earlier in the night to not go out. His brothers, Ryland and Joel, remained in a state of confusion. After the brain scan, Sam was transferred to Gold Coast Hospital where he underwent emergency surgery to release the pressure on his brain. “We all sat and held hands, praying and crying. It was a very scary time; it still is four years on,” said Margaret. A year later in the small town of Dorrigo, on the Northern Tablelands of NSW, Jake Brook was celebrating New Year’s Eve with his girlfriend and friends at a local pub. Sober but a car fanatic, he began to do a few burnouts for the cheering crowd. But not everyone was impressed. A group began to throw stray bottles, and Jake jumped out to try and stop them. Words were exchanged between himself and the assailants, and despite insisting that he was not interested in a fight, a punch to the chin caused him to lose balance and land hard on the road. With severe bleeding on the brain, he was in a coma for three weeks after the incident. He did eventually wake up, but he wasn’t the person he had once been. “We have lost our Jake…he had his whole life

ahead of him and now he has to live in a world of hurt that none of us could have imagined,” his mother, Liz Brook, told Coffs Coast Advocate. Parts of his brain had effectively died. He is paralysed down the right side of his body and partially blind in both eyes. Memories of life before the event have all but disappeared, and his happy-go-lucky attitude has been replaced by an abusive demeanor. According to his mother, her son is now a “three-year-old stuck in a 22-yearold’s body.” Sam’s story did not reach the front page of the major metropolitan newspaper. Jake’s tale was not exposed on primetime television. They were not examples of the dangers of alcoholfuelled violence in CBD areas, such as Kings Cross, and were not used to portray the greater culture of youth violence nationwide. Instead, the words ‘king hit’ conjure up images of city lights and disorderly drunkards. This media frenzy of reporters fighting to be more outraged than the last ignores the violence present in country and coastal towns. This niche portrayal further neglects those who have to live with the results of street violence, left to be one-time features in community news. Indeed, the media’s insistence that alcoholfuelled violence is a purely metropolitan issue is only the first point at which their reporting falls

20 bull usu.edu.au FEATURE

Jake

short. According to recent statistics by New South Wales Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research (BOSCAR), has been a 5 per cent reduction in non-domestic, alcohol-related violence in the suburb of Kings Cross over the last eight years. Last year’s Review of the Liquor Act 2007 and Gaming and Liquor Administration Act 2007 showed that violent incidents on licensed premises had fallen 28 per cent from 2007, and alcoholrelated assaults have fallen 35 per cent between 2008 and 2012. Ultimately, the Australian Bureau of Statistics illustrated that total alcohol consumption is down since the mid-00s and over 20 per cent per capita since the early 1970s. Why then, has the media’s spike in reporting illustrated an altogether different picture? Mainstream media have been reluctant to promote these figures with the Sydney Morning Herald only reporting them in an editorial in January of this year. However, it was followed by the warning, “All this is very encouraging, but these figures need to be treated with care.” To denounce the issue entirely would be foolish, but to not portray the issue accurately could be even more dangerous. Though attacks have decreased, the severity of the violence appears to have grown. Dr Don Weatherburn, Director of BOSCAR told the SMH, “It is possible the overall number of assaults is down, but the number of very serious (for example, life-threatening) assaults is up.” Here, those who suffer long-term disabilities, left permanently and catastrophically brain damaged, are falling through the media cracks, undermined and forgotten. The NSW media has created a statewide fear that has neglected those who live beyond the

Sam

radius of metropolitan Sydney, and passed over those that have to live with the consequences of this violence, like Sam and Jake. Spending 18 months in hospital, 38 days in intensive care, two months in the neurology ward and a further nine months in rehabilitation at Gold Coast Hospital; Sam was finally moved to a hospital closer to the family home at Murwillumbah Rehabilitation ignore for a final six months.

community and medical leaders in the area that have got Sam to where he currently is – better, but still fighting for quality of life. The impact of the event has taken not only an enormous toll on Sam, but also on his entire family. Margaret and Michael Ford gave up their careers to look after him, relying on the minimal carer’s pension. The memory their boy who was fun-loving and vivacious, with a growing career as an apprentice carpenter and had a devoted girlfriend has disappeared. “The guilt that our other two sons have every time they walk out the door, whether it be to go for a surf or even to work, hits them constantly as they are living a normal life and Sam is trapped inside a body he can’t even properly move in.” The strain this has caused on the family, becomes even clearer as Margaret goes on. “The mental exhaustion about the decisions you have to make for your child, for example, what programs should we do with him that will help his future, and whether he is going to improve more than today, trying to understand what your child is telling you through sign language, gestures and sounds. It’s never getting a break really, and the sadness in the fact that his friends very rarely visit.” Liz Brook also counts the support from community members and doctors as the reason “He had to learn how to do all the basic Jake is where he is today. However, the lack of things in life that we take for granted, starting policy attention to those with permanent brain with simple movements like moving his head damage is an area where she believes her son from side to side, swallowing food, walking, Jake has been let down by the system. “There talking, sitting and feeding himself,” said Margaret. has to be some justice for the victims and However, he still needs 24 hour care to this day. their families whose lives are destroyed by one Sam’s weekly schedule of over 20 hours person’s actions. Just because they technically of rehabilitation and care is now a routine. survived the attack, doesn’t mean they are Margaret believes it is the support from the actually living.”

Mainstream media have perpetuated a moral panic which is fed to the Australian public.

Issue 02 21 FEATURE

Sam

Sam Photos by Trevor Veale

There is a cacophony of noise surrounding this issue, with confusion the only outcome of the debate. The Australian Hotels Association blames this violence on drugs and inadequate government policy. Police blame it on alcohol and a lack of government policy. Statistics say the issue isn’t as bad as we think. Academics and education providers believe the problem is intertwined with hyper-masculinity. As a result, there is grave misperception and a kaleidoscope of causes, but with few solutions. Mainstream media have perpetuated a moral panic which is fed to the Australian public. Delivered too many conflicting ideals, the public sees outrage as an easy solution. Scared by the public’s cries, the government rushes into a supposed solution which is at best a Band-Aid that doesn’t cover the intricacies of this violence. It is at this stage where the bare facts have to be remembered, and only then can policy go forward. Some people are dying; more, who are not in the media spotlight, are left to deal with lifelong physical injuries. This violence usually happens at night, involves men, with drugs and/ or alcohol involved, and the police are struggling to handle it. Ultimately, alcohol and violent habits in individuals are not created overnight, and they may or may not be related. “It’s the circumstances of drinking, rather than the alcohol as such, that matters most,” says Professor Raewyn Connell from the University of Sydney, who believes the notion of ‘alcohol-fuelled violence’, should be retired. Instead, the focus should be on the social and cultural elements that surround drinking culture. Connell believes that to change this, you must

begin to alter the type of social life that has developed around late night drinking, to which there are few alternatives offered. There is a notion that these habits are the result of ingrained patterns within Australian culture, one where alcohol is important for social situations and demonstrations of masculinity are praised. Contributing to this social issue is how violence and masculinity intersect, and how violence functions for groups of men as a way of establishing or asserting masculinity. According to Connell, “A conflict that shapes as a kind of masculinity challenge is one that can easily escalate, with young men anxious to prove themselves or to claim respect.” Indeed, there have been substantial changes in traditional patterns of alcoholism, created by alcohol marketing and entertainment. Connell believes there has been a shift towards a marketdriven society, eroding many forms of social solidarity and establishing boredom and despair. These are other consequences that must be considered when classifying and understanding this form of violence. What can be inferred by statistical research and analysis by experts in the field, undeterred by media sensationalism, is what actually needs to be addressed. Rather than focusing on the split second moment that occurs when violence and alcohol meet, the emphasis should instead be placed on the broader cultural environment that establishes the idea that this is normal. The media’s role in riling up the public takes attention from the important issue at hand. As stated by Connell, “The key problem isn’t that the media reports on violence; that’s completely

justified, killings are killings and we want to stop them. The problem rather is the way the media, and the political elite, construct the issue.” This was noted by the reaction to Barry O’Farrell’s lockout laws. As expected, young people mostly rejected it, and even 53 per cent of the general public believes it will only be somewhat effective. Although, it’s too early to predict what the lock out laws will change in Kings Cross, we cannot dismiss the issue. Figures are down, but the violence and particularly the lifelong physical and mental disabilities that are rarely reported on after the fact are important. Every story should be told. Maybe this will help stir change. A gradual transformation to the Australian ideas of masculinity, violence and alcohol consumption is one solution. More education about the socially ingrained causes of such violence, beginning at a younger age, is another. Media outlets could report more on the wider picture to help bring about the change needed to stop the violence. Everyone can contribute to the solution, one that sees education and understanding at the forefront of an issue that is present in both city and country. Until change has been demonstrated, appreciate the dangers that could still arise. As Margaret Ford said, “Put yourself in Sam’s shoes for a day. Sit in a chair, strap your legs and arms up, cover your mouth and your eyes, and see how it feels, even for an hour, to be so useless you can’t move yourself or even ask for help. Well, that’s what could happen to any of them.”

22 bull usu.edu.au TASTE

TASTE CREPES

THE FRENCH ARE LYING TO YOU

Alberta McKenzie Let me start by being completely honest: the baffling duet of French culinary intricacy and metabolic superiority is truly a façade. Crepes, the known grail of French cuisine, have been torn down from their chic wall barely a month into my Paris exchange. The Paris PocketGuide’s lofty crepe-story begins with open-air markets, cat-calling vendors and sober falafels; there’s a choice of ostrich and goose eggs, nestled in wicker baskets, some unrefrigerated milk and the novelty crepe-making utensil, the rozel. The flour is carried from the markets in a forever Instagram-able burlap sac. Nevertheless, despite the romantic paraphernalia of Parisian cuisine, none of the beautiful fresh ingredients are used. A crepe-making session is heartbreakingly only a packet of pre-made crepes and a jar of the omnipresent Nutella, which the French seem to have appropriated into their pool of used-to-death national icons. Whether the Bretons of northwest France envisioned crepes selling by the hoard as ‘crêpes au Nutella’ is uncertain, the ‘original crepesters’ might lend an appreciative nod to the no frills Parisian crepe routine. As a wide-eyed foreigner who envisioned a Midnight In Paris experience of living in the city, I settled into a flat where the stove hood light failed to work, but a perfect crepe

pan was left at my disposal. And so, after a few visits to the Spanish discount supermarket Dia – do visit if you enjoy watching the French sidestep confused exchange students trying to translate their grocery lists – I started a Bachelor of crepemaking. Pouring the fork-whisked mixture into the flat pan, with just a bit of salt, and flaring it with the rozel is a mastery all must learn if you hope to remain in the glorious city without being the object of ridicule. But the French do not waste their time with this. Not only does the stand 50 metres from your doorstep make far superior crepes, but the embarrassment of revealing your ineptitude with the rovel is avoided. This utensil only looks easy when street stand crepe-makers use them with a skillful flick of the wrist. In every other instance, it’s simply a foreigner manhandling an unassuming, T-intersection stick. Clearly, homemade crepes are neither elegant nor sexy; the French do not invite a recent squeeze over for a night of watching them get egg yolk on their trousers. Even if you can manage it, you still wake up the following morning to a passive aggressive note from your charming flatmate informing you not to leave the stovetop element on again. But it is just not the Parisian way: France’s ambivalence toward their flaccid national icon takes some getting used to, particularly after seeing how many people in the checkout line have pre-made crepe packets in their basket.

Once you’ve moved past the blindsiding simplicity of crepes, you’ll note with great mirth the large amount of French tourists in streetcorner cafes of Berlin, Amsterdam and Lausanne, eating nothing but a simple pancake.

Places in Sydney to try crepes: 1. Four Frogs Creperie Passionate purveyors of French delicacy, Four Frogs offers sweet and savory crepes. You can pair plates with ciders or wines – just like in France.

175 Avenue Road, Mosman 2088 2. The Crepe & Coffee Co. Light and crispy crepes, you can get all types here. Perfect for lunch time snacks and a good alternative to classic daytime foods.

60 Regent Street, Redfern 2016 3. Le Depot Sporting an exclusively French menu, here you’ll find some of the best crepes in Sydney. We’re talking salmon, prosciutto, spinach, cheese, béchamel sauce, the list continues…

609 Harris Street, Ultimo 2000 4. Trio This innovative take on the breakfast treat is best here. Featuring fresh and fruity flavours, there’s no better way to spend a day down by the beach.

56 Campbell Parade, Bondi Beach 2026

Issue 02 23 GO

GO VIETNAM

Volunteering (and drinking) in Ho Chi Minh City

Emma Gajzler On my first day wandering the crowded streets of Vietnam, I found myself in the midst of crazy roads, interesting smells and confusing noises; incessantly beeping cars and motorbikes and locals selling me ‘authentic’ Ray-Bans for only $2.50, “Real Ray-Ban! Same same!” My venture to Vietnam though, was not for sightseeing. Toward the end of 2013, I found a volunteering program in Ho Chi Minh City allowing me to work in a day care for three weeks with volunteers from across the globe. The day care was for children affected by cerebral palsy, autism and Down syndrome; all severely mentally or physically disabled. When I arrived at the dorms where the volunteers were placed, I expected to find sombre adults reading up on the history of human rights, hoping to change the world. Instead, I interrupted a drinking game run by 15 people all under the age of 25. It’s incredible and surprising that living and working with the same group for an extended period of time builds an unprecedented level of trust and closeness, and living with people from all different parts of the world was challenging yet unexpectedly entertaining. Unlike your typical family, however, we liked to party.

A bar that we frequented called The Dong served us one beer for 20 Australian cents, so of course we had a 100-beer challenge. One team, ten people, 100 beers, done. Each night was an adventure, discovering a new corner of a bustling yet beautiful city, uncovering the best of what Ho Chi Minh had to offer in terms of bars, clubs and restaurants. We discovered a 24-hour club in the hub of the backpacker’s district appropriately named ‘Happy Life’ serving us an array of alcoholic concoctions in fishbowl-sized cups throughout the night. Best of all, they have a masseur on hand in case your back seized up while jamming to Vietnamese hip hop. Each day was a challenge, as the blindness of bustling nights blurred into the rawness of daily volunteerism. The time I spent with these beautiful children tested me like never before, whether it was feeding time, play time or study time. We certainly had our battles, but every moment spent with them, I discovered their spirit and the energy within them. Trinh regularly steals toys and hides them in her lunch box, so if anything is missing, you know where to look. Phuc has a crush on Trinh and enjoys following her around and pinching her in exchange for her attention. Duey is the champion of board games, and by that I mean he is the champion of cheating. Nehi looks at you with wide, bright eyes in the mornings and hates having her hair in her eyes. An is quiet

but intelligent; a calming influence over the other rampaging children. Nhu refuses to eat unless she is kicking the volunteer feeding her, or pulling their hair (an unpleasant experience, trust me). Ngoc will chew anything within her reach, including table legs, the buttons on her shirt and my ankles. Each child is unique and each child is exceptional. Everyday life can be a challenge on some level no matter what your circumstances but every day, I saw these children try twice as hard as you or I would ever need to in order to succeed in basic daily tasks, like washing their hands or drinking a cup of water. But they wake up every morning and they try, and mainly they will succeed. However, sometimes their bodies or minds will not allow them the success which we so take for granted because we are the privileged and the fortunate. Observing two different worlds on my trip, from the urban party atmosphere to the brutality of life with disability, I gained a new perspective on living. Words cannot do justice to this life-changing and humbling experience. While I cannot be a permanent influence in their lives, they are a permanent influence on mine, and they are undoubtedly the greatest inspiration I have had the pleasure of knowing. (Photos L-R: Me and Nehi being silly in the day care; Cruising around Halong Bay; The chaotic streets of Ho Chi Minh)

24 bull usu.edu.au MOVE section heading

MOVE Campus Food

HEALTHY OPTIONS ON CAMPUS

Alisha Aitken-Radburn If you’re still keeping your New Year’s resolution to eat healthy, go for runs and Instagram your new Nike Free Runs, I have some sad news for you – eating healthy on campus is hard. On top of keeping tenuous promises to get fit, students have a variety of motivations to choose healthy options at uni. Some students train for competitive sport, some are vegetarian or vegan, and others have medical conditions, which means they need to keep a watchful eye on what they eat and drink. Whatever the reason, there are very limited options on campus to accommodate students who want to make the best choices food-wise. Yes, there are outlets around if students are willing to be creative, but these healthy options are few and far between. Just last semester, I tried my hand at the whole ‘clean eating’ craze. I wanted to feel healthy, have more energy and just generally detox a little from the afternoon schooner (or five!) I was becoming accustomed to at Hermann’s Bar. It probably shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me that I wouldn’t find activated almonds on campus, or have the option of getting acai berries blended into

my brekkie smoothie. However, what really shocked me was my inability to find a simple, yummy salad. In addition to the lack of options, health conscious students are also punished by the relative expense of healthy food when compared to your average pide and coke combo. A small salad at Lettucehead creeps upwards of $8 and the choices are generally limited to two or three options. On a weekday, Taste Baguette typically has about three options for those wanting to steer clear of their carb-loaded baguettes. Only one of them is vegetarian. This is a problematic situation for vegan and vegetarian students, with their choices being further constrained. Third year Commerce student, Wendy Yuan, said she resorted to packing her own lunch every day due to the lack of quality food for vegetarians. “I’m spending half my weekend prepping food for the week because I just don’t have time every night to worry about lunch while I’m studying,” she said. “I just really wish that outlets on campus were more creative in their vegetarian options so what I choose to have for lunch isn’t going to end up tasting like cardboard – which more often than not is the case.”

But healthy food options are increasing slowly but surely on campus. The Manning Grill menu has been adjusted to make it clearer that students can swap greasy chips for salad with their steak. The newly revamped menu includes a range of salads and wraps which have been taste-tested by yours truly and I can assure you they are not cardboard-y in the slightest. Peter Underwood, Head of Operations at the University of Sydney Union, highlighted the gradual improvement in terms of healthy and vegetarian food available on campus since 2011, and pointed to new developments in 2014 including a new restaurant in the Holme Building, and “a new Carslaw food outlet serving freshly prepared international cuisine”. Whilst things are slowly improving, paying $8.45 for a tiny salad can make you feel rather despondent. If you find your cheat day stretching into a cheat week, then it is worthwhile being aware of the SUSF gym, the Victoria Park pool and the Quidditich Society as they can all furnish you with exercise between classes. I have heard that broomstick-focused exercise is the secret to a #boxgap.

Issue 02 07 25 section heading LEARN

LEARN 3D PRINTERS

TECHNOLOGICAL WONDERS

KIRSTY TIMSANS A little known fact is that 3D printing technology has been around since 1983. Reminiscent of The Jetsons’ microwave where the push of Judy’s dainty finger would produce a cartoonishly delicious meal, the process behind 3D printing is, of course, less simple. Firstly, the manufacturer uses a 3D computer-aided design (CAD) program, like architects do, to create a digital model of the desired object that then gets sliced into extremely thin cross-sections. During the printing process, the printer commences at the bottom of the design and builds up layers of material until the object is finished. Stereolithography is the same technology used in modern 3D printers today and was invented by Charles Hull over 30 years ago. However the recent increase in its commercial availability, especially in homes and businesses, has led to a marked surge in media attention. Even Sydney University has 3D printers for the use of students in the Faculty of Architecture, Design and Planning proving the technology is closer to home than you might think. So we know what it is, but what can it make? Taste bud-arousing desserts, wearable fashion, espresso coffee cups... or for individuals that are less concerned with utility, what about your own intricately detailed bust of Yoda or Tom Hanks? Some notable mentions include the 3D printed plastic workable gun, eerily called the ‘Liberator Pistol’, created by Cody Wilson,

a 25-year-old law student in Texas. Wilson demonstrated his creation online and has even made the computer blueprint available as a free download. On the completely opposite end of the spectrum, 3D printing technologies have been adopted by the health industry and have actually saved human lives. Mark Cook, Professor at St Vincent’s Hospital, and researchers at Wollongong University are working on ways to print body parts using a patient’s own cells as the primary printing material. Right now, it seems the capabilities of 3D printing technologies are solely limited to the capabilities of our imagination. As with every innovative technology that has captured public attention, there is the inevitable question: is it a fad or is it the way of the future? The 3D printer is one of those strange technologies in the oblivion between novelty and practicality. Yes, it can make little plastic clips to hold your Christmas lights to the guttering of your house, but is it not more practical and infinitely less expensive to just buy those things? Perhaps the beauty of 3D printing technologies in people’s homes is in their personalising quality – the printed espresso cups are different from the ones in the Ikea catalogue and we humans find that fascinating! And researchers predict 3D printing will have the largest impact on commerical enterprises. The benefits of 3D printing technology for businesses could include less time between the manufacture and consumption of goods, increased local production and mass customisation.

6 OF THE FLUFFIEST ANIMALS YET TO BE REPLICATED BY 3D PRINTERS 1. CHINCHILLA Although technically rodents, the chinchilla, native to the Andes in South America, has rare, extremely dense fur but has sadly been hunted to near-extinction for their pelts.

2. ICELANDIC HORSE The only horse

species in Iceland has got to be relatively fluffy. And it’s still used for farm work in Iceland – what a horse!

3. PERUVIAN GUINEA PIG The Satin Peruvian Guinea Pig has hair that could rival Marsha Brady’s and is one of the most popular of its kind.

4. SOUTHERN MARSUPIAL MOLE Finally, a

fluffy animal from our own backyard (the South Australian desert)!

5. CHOW CHOW Don’t you hate it when you’re so cute and fluffy, you can’t even see straight in front of you? Say hello to the Chinese Chow Chow, a breed of dog also called Songshi Quan which translates to “puffy-lion dog”. 6. ANGORA RABBIT Originating from Ankara, Turkey, the Angora Rabbit is one of the oldest types of domestic rabbit... which might explain the length of its nuzzleworthy mane.

Images Courtesy of Flickr: flickr.com/photos/74419347N00/6165114664 flickr.com/photos/bowena/8384092155

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Issue 02 27 FEATURE

HOOK 'EM TEXAS IS BURNING AND ADAM CHALMERS RAN INTO THE FIRE.

I had no idea what a Sooner was, but I knew I hated them. The postcard-clichés of the world’s great cities are dominated by a single colour. New York has its white winters. Kyoto its pink cherry blossoms. And Austin has the burnt orange shirts of its football fans. Australia loves sport, but it is a love with a thousand faces. We have sporting icons – our Bradmans, Warnes, Freemans and Thorpes – but we don’t have the cohesive, single-minded devotion that Austin has for their football team, the Texas Longhorns. I would wake up on game day to see the entire city decked in the team colour: burnt orange. The street signs were burnt orange. The dresses in shop windows were

burnt orange. The local Rabbi’s tie was burnt orange. And if the Longhorns won, the University of Texas’ main tower would be lit up burnt orange, a giant victory beacon daring the night to mess with Texas. I am a famously un-sporty person. The first time I wrote about football, my editor made me redo the interview because I’d forgotten to ask what the score was. But from the minute I set foot in Texas, I knew there was no escaping the terrifying juggernaut that is the Texas Longhorns. The Longhorns were valued at $133 million in 2012, and for a time, Longhorns coach Mack Brown was the highest-paid public official in Texas. A live

28 bull usu.edu.au FEATURE

Perhaps sport is the ultimate safe space to express our tribal tendencies.

Longhorn steer named Bevo attends every game and pep rally. Students at the University of Texas (UT) are nicknamed “Longhorns”, which I found out during orientation. This was the same orientation where all 800 students were given our own burnt orange t-shirts and taught to sing the school song – which of course doubled as the official football team song. I had been on Texan soil for less than 24 hours, and I already knew more about the UT football team than I knew about all of Australian sport. I watched my first football game on the Longhorn Network – an ESPN-operated TV station devoted solely to UT sport. I walked in just in time to see a dozen orangeclad Longhorns fans scream in celebration of a touchdown. Someone then had to very patiently explain to me what a touchdown was. I was taught to “hook ‘em” – to make the hand-sign of a Texas Longhorn (Australians may confuse this with the hand-signs metalheads use to show allegiance to Satan). We watched our team soundly defeat the New Mexico Aggies, and wished we’d been there in person. The Darrell K Royal - Texas Memorial Stadium has over 100,000 seats, and they never have trouble filling them. Such was the demand that scalpers would still have customers an hour into the game. “Arrive early, be loud, stay late and wear orange,” Coach Brown famously said. Texas listened.

Issue 02 29 FEATURE

Carrie from theatre class invited me to watch my second game. I got to her apartment around 8pm on Saturday, just as halftime started. A dozen students crowded into a small apartment living room and we had ourselves a good old-fashioned sports party. We drank, we yelled at the screen, we mocked the other team and we added swearwords to the Texas Fight Song. There were some spectacular moments in that game. Amazing field-spanning kicks, brilliant interceptions, awful fumbles and the occasional injury. I didn’t understand most of what happened, but I knew one thing: Texas had to win. I’d been infected. I’d caught Texas fever. The Longhorns pulled ahead with an interception in the last ten seconds. At least, I think that’s what happened. The rules of American football have the terrifying complexity of a Lovecraftian monster. But the details weren’t important – only victory was. From then on I followed the games more closely – on TV if I could, or at least on Twitter, where my professors would enthusiastically retweet the latest scores from ESPN and The Daily Texan. I had begun to, in the words of the local Rabbi, “bleed orange”. I didn’t attend the Red River Rivalry, the annual game between University of Texas and Oklahoma University, but my friends did. They drove out to Dallas, watched the game, got blackout drunk and picked fights with Oklahoma

University Sooners. A music festival brought me to College Station, home of the Longhorn’s other great rivals: the “Aggies” of Texas Agricultural and Mining College. “There are two rules to being a Longhorn,” a friend told me. “You wear burnt orange, and you hate Aggies.” Not that I needed much encouragement to hate College Station. It’s easy to hate any student city whose highest-scoring entertainment destination is, according to Yelp, the George Bush Presidential Library. A couple of months later and several thousand kilometres away, the Longhorn fever seems a little ridiculous. But I understand it. Humans are tribal creatures. We’re descendants of the apes who could work together more effectively than other apes. Evolution pressured us to form small groups and to mistrust strangers. But these tribal instincts are not suited to today’s world. They lead to prejudice, racism, fear and violence. Perhaps sport is the ultimate safe space to express our tribal tendencies. For four months I wore the colours of my tribe. I cheered at our athlete-warriors and booed our enemies. I felt an irrational, not-really-but-kinda hatred of people who wore a different colour shirt. I, and most Texans, took Longhorn games far more seriously than college football deserves. But it always felt right. And I still fucking hate Sooners.

It’s easy to become an annual member at Sydney Uni Sport & Fitness With two on-campus health and fitness centres, a range of short courses, social sport, and more than 45 sporting clubs to get involved in, our annual membership gives you access to an amazing range of benefits at unbeatable prices.

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For the full range of membership passes, visit www.susf.com.au or call into either The Sports & Aquatic Centre or The Arena Sports Centre. Facebook: ‘Sydney Uni Sport & Fitness’

Twitter: ‘SydUniSportFit’

Issue 02 31 THE TIME I TRIED...

THE TIME I TRIED... LIFE WITHOUT GOOGLE

Hi. My name is Mary WARD, and I’m a Google-holic. I Google search in Chrome with a YouTube video playing in another tab as I check my Gmail. My life’s greatest regret is signing an iPhone contract four weeks ago. iPhones are crap and anyone who tells you otherwise has obviously never experienced the hilarity of operating systems named after desserts. And yet, while I love the Googz, it does freak me out. My Google ads know me better than I know myself, and YouTube once recommended a video that had people I knew in it. So I decided to do a Google detox, a G-tox, if you will. Here’s how I went:

Day One 11.54am: I started today by finding out what I was up against. I Bing-ed (does such an inferior invention warrant verb derivations?) “things owned by Google”. Google would have given me a pull through gallery of its exploits and links to each one with pages of perfectly matched results. Bing’s top result was “Mergers and Acquisitions by Google” which is pretty close. But, on its first page of results, it also provided a Mashable article called ‘My Soul and 10 Other Things Google Owns’ (let’s not get jealous now, Bing) and a Wall Street Journal article on Eminem and Lady Gaga performing at the YouTube Music Awards.

It also thought I might be interested – as in sixth-result interested – in the Free Dictionary’s definition of ‘things’. Bleak.

Day Two 2.11pm: Ask Jeeves has passed on to that big data storage cloud in the sky. I know, I wasn’t told either. 9:48pm: You know what’s crap? When you just want to watch Jennifer Lawrence trip at the Oscars on a popular internet video hosting service, but you can’t, because the particular popular internet video hosting service on which such material is located is owned by an evil corporation you are currently boycotting. That’s crap.

Day Three 5.47pm: Today I decided to write down everything that I would have Googled that day. I am considering marketing this practice as some sort of life assessment or new age religion. Does anyone know a good place for mooring solid gold yachts? My list of future Google searches: • time to drive Nelsons Bay to Byron Bay • Buzzfeed girls HBO character quiz • iPhone zaps ear in charger normal • do chicken crimpies have lactose in them • allusive elusive illusive • people who gave up Google and didn’t kill anyone

Day Four 6.34pm: A haiku for YouTube: YouTube you are great You give me Frozen covers Vimeo’s a snob I’m not even sure if that’s the correct number of syllables per line. I considered Bing-ing it, but there was someone sitting next to me on the bus and it was too embarrassing.

Day Five 3.55pm: I gave up today. It started innocently and most sanely. I decided that the only rational way to deal with my Google withdrawals was to draw my own Google homepage and enter my queries into it using a pencil with an eraser on the end. Like I said: sane and rational. But there was something stopping me: I couldn’t remember what colours were assigned to each of Google’s letters. It was sort of like when widows on soap operas break down because they can’t remember the colour of their late spouse’s eyes, but obviously much more tragic. I cracked. Fired up Chrome. Watched humble cats jump off couches in 240p (something that would never be allowed on stuffy Vimeo). And it was G-lorious. 4:03pm: Blue, red, yellow, blue, green, red. Oh, Bing. Finished!

32 bull usu.edu.au FEATURE

Issue 02 33 FEATURE

VIRAT NEHRU OPENS HIS EARS TO THE PHENOMENON OF STUTTERING There is nothing that stands out about Nikhil*. He is just like any other university student; his life is organised around the hours of freedom he can squeeze out of his timetable each semester. One of his favourite pastime includes having a rant about employment prospects after graduation. You would be hard-pressed to find him in the drones of students who travel on congested trains during morning peak hours to get to 9am lectures on time. He doesn’t want to be the centre of attention. He is part of the crowd and by his own admission, “exceptionally ordinary”. And yet, when he opens his mouth to speak, he invites curiosity and undue attention from those around him – the very thing he has actively sought to reject his life. Stuttering is a speech disorder that is as unique as it is widespread. A lot is known about how to control it but what exactly causes its onset is still a mystery. Contrary to what popular culture would have us believe, contemporary science has found no links between psychological or emotional trauma and stuttering. Professor Mark Onslow, a pioneer in the field of stuttering research and the Foundation Director of the Australian Stuttering Research Centre (ASRC) confirmed that in at least one third of cases, a child can go to sleep speaking without a speech impairment one night and wake up with a stutter the next morning. “We only have the dimmest outline of how it happens,” he says. “We are actually working in the field of research called brain imaging, because it’s clear now that people who stutter have a problem with neurological speech processing, which basically means that the problem happens somewhere at the level of the cortex, where speech and language is organised.” Nikhil is sitting back in an armchair, looking slightly bewildered. Perhaps he’s wondering why something that has been part of his life for so long attracts so much curiosity from everyone else. He clasps his armrest more firmly as he struggles to recall his first memory of stuttering.

Nikhil chooses not to refer to the disorder by name; instead, he uses “it” as if he is referring to something so wicked it should remain unspoken. “It’s not something I recall being there since I was born. As far as I know, from my earliest memory, it started being there from Year Five. Back then, it was really bad,” he says. “I think what made it worse is not being able to control it... You want to say the word but it won’t come out. As a child, you don’t really understand why that is happening, why it’s happening to you. Everybody else can say that word. Why can’t you?” Early intervention in stuttering is the best way to control it. ASRC has developed an early intervention program called the

“As a child, you don’t really understand why that is happening, why it’s happening to you. Everybody else can say that word. Why can’t you?”

Lidcombe Program that is widely regarded as one of the most effective methods to control stuttering. However, back in the 1980s when it was first introduced, the program was highly controversial due to reservations regarding direct early intervention in stuttering. “It [the Lidcombe Program] was what you might call a ‘paradigm shift’. It was a new way of doing things and it was extremely controversial. As part of therapy, it directly called attention to children’s speech when they were stuttering and that was thought to be a really bad thing to do – to directly say to a child, ‘You’re stuttering and I want you to stop and here’s how we are going to do it’,” says Professor Onslow. Nikhil’s fight is not with the world. He is not interested in convincing those around him to treat him with respect just like they would treat any other. He just hopes that he can treat himself in that manner. “Forget about other people bullying you.

Let’s put that aside for a moment. There is this constant internal pressure that you have to deal with as you try and do what comes naturally to almost everybody else around you. You start fighting yourself. You start bullying yourself. That internal fight is so much more mentally damaging than anybody else picking on you,” he admits. There is so much attention around the external factors of bullying that sometimes it is easy to forget the internal bully that torments many who have any sort of impairment that differentiates them from others. The threatening internal bully that knows us for who we really are. Nikhil knows what makes him different. He is reminded of it every time he opens his mouth to speak. No other bully can torment him the way he can torment himself. “The way I overcame my fear is that my friends back then knew that I had that issue, so there was no point in trying to hide it. It was a matter of trying to minimise it,” he says. It’s a frustrating impairement that can affect almost every aspect of life, and Nikhil has been fighting to not let stutterin control what he can and cannot do. He wants to be seen as a person who happens to stutter, not one who stutters, period. “All my life, I always wanted to become a pilot. One of the major things with that is you really have to be able to speak well when you are under stress. With me, I don’t think I can do that yet. I guess that’s one of my biggest disappointments,” he says. But he is quick to look on the bright side. “I’ve worked in retail for three and half years now, and most of the work in retail involves speaking with people face-to-face and on the phone. I thought I would never be able to deal with people face-to-face and on the phone but I did that fine,” he says, unable to hide the happiness in his voice. Nikhil’s attitude towards life is inspirational. He isn’t afraid to discuss his fears but is steadfast in not letting them overwhelm him. He just hopes that those around him treat him and everybody else the same way – ordinarily. No undue attention or sympathy. In spite of this one can’t help but be slightly in awe of this “exceptionally ordinary” person. “You have to believe that the majority of the world is not out there to get you, that most people are nice and kind.” *Name has been changed

SS184

TUE 25 MARCH INTERFAITH LAUNCH HARMONY PICNIC TAI CHI LIVE STUDENT PERFORMANCE AFRO DANCE AND DRUMMING SINGING BOWLS MEDITATION PANEL DISCUSSION: THE PURSUIT OF FREEDOM

WED 26 MARCH FAITH FETE INDIAN HOUR PANEL DISCUSSION: THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS

INTERFAITH WEEK

THUR 27 MARCH TALK: LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX FREE ICED TEA! LAUGHTER YOGA PANEL: WOMEN AND RELIGION, FAITH AND INSTITUTIONS EU EVENT: SPIRIT-UAL SEX TALK TALK: STOP WORRYING, START CELEBRATING! PANEL DISCUSSION: THE PURSUIT OF KNOWLEDGE ART FROM THE HEART EVENT

2014

Fancy yourself a bit of an artist? We want your artwork for this year’s Interfaith Art Competition! Works will be exhibited at Verge Gallery during Interfaith Week.

EXPRESSIONS OF INTEREST CLOSE FRIDAY 14 MARCH send to

interfaith@usu.usyd.edu.au with your name, concept and medium.

COMPETITION THEMES

Faith & Society Faith & the Self

Works can be of any medium, up to 1m 2 and short films up to 10 min. @USUAccess

@USUAccess

/USUonline

usu.edu.au

Winners will be announced at Verge Gallery, Thurs 27 Mar, 5.30pm.

1st Prize $500 | 2nd Prize $200 | 3rd Prize $100

/USUAccess

@USUAccess

/USUonline

usu.edu.au

Issue 02 35 CAMPUS FASHION

CAMPUS FASHION FRESHER FOOD

Andrew Ricket // Engineering & Arts III

Joe Whelan // Engineering & Commerce I

OVERSHIRT: Glebe Markets Pants: Industry Shoes: Windsor Smith Bag: Zoology Glasses: Iconik Food: Unibros

tEE: Superdry Pants: Vintage Bag: Bolivia Markets Food: …my Mum made it Why did you pick your outfit? It was the only clean thing I had.

How would you describe your style? Chilled and fresh. Who is your fashion icon/ man crush? No comment. (Fashion team: “Don’t deny the power of the man crush, Andrew!”)

How would you describe your style? Casual, I don’t really style myself. I just pick whatever. Who is your fashion icon/ man crush? Brad Pitt. But old school, pre-beard Brad Pitt.

Favourite place to get food on campus? Unibros all the way!

Trends we hope disappear this year: Knee-High Gladiator Sandals This pimped-out Jesus shoe look is just awful and will give you even worse tan lines than a knitted bikini

More Mesh, Less Dress Lady Victoria Harvey at the Golden Globes after party is the prime example of a royal disaster when it comes to overdoing it on the mesh and flesh. A little slice of side boob is fine, but we don’t want anyone flashing their baby box.

Josh Kwan // Engineering & Project Management II Tee: The Script official concert merchandise Pants: Zanerobe from Glue Shoes: Vans Food: Unibros How would you describe your style? I wake up in the morning and put clothes on. It’s pretty casual. Who would you say your style icon is? I don’t have one. Favourite place to get food on campus? Unibros! Would definitely recommend it to others. (Fashion team: “Taking you up on that recommendation right now, my friend.”)

Your Fashion Team is Katie Stow, Emily Shen and Rebecca Karpin

36 bull usu.edu.au CLASSIC COUNTDOWN & VOX POPS

CLASSIC COUNTDOWN

VOX pops

super bowl halftime ads LAUREN BEECH SIFTS THROUGH MORE THAN 20 YEARS OF SUPER BOWLS TO FIND THESE ADVERTISING GEMS.

Pepsi (2004)

The most famous gladiators after Russell Crowe (Beyonce, Pink and Britney) stage a revolt. This may not be the best Super Bowl ad, but it’s the one you’re most likely to remember. No expense was spared on the three minute commercial, from Enrique Iglesias as the Emperor to the creation of possibly the least effective armour in history.

Pepsi (1997)

The ad defies its seemingly abysmal premise – bears dancing for Pepsi as part of a coming of age rite – to be a classic and hilarious Super Bowl ad. How? Through a reworking of the Village People’s ‘YMCA’ which proves to be as irresistible as it seems to every DJ at every wedding I’ve been to, ever.

Ram Trucks (2013)

On the eighth day, God created farmers with brilliant but paradoxical attributes to look after his creation. Considering the reverence given to farmers in Australia, it is unsurprising that this ad is routinely rated as one of the best.

Listening to: Triple M, triple j and Smooth FM... sometimes FBi. Reading: Manga and career guides. Watching: Futurama but need to watch Suits, Breaking Bad and many more.

LYDIA FENG // ARTS (MECO) IV Listening to: Pluto Jonze. Reading: Tim Winton’s Eyrie. Watching: ABC’s 7:30.

McDonalds (1993)

Michael Jordan and Larry Bird play an increasingly elaborate shoot-off to win Jordan’s McDonalds meal. Despite the general disinterest in the NBA in Australia, everyone knows Jordan from Space Jam, and everyone loves this ad.

NEIL NGUYEN // COMMERCE (LIBERAL STUDIES) III

Reebok (2003)

Linebacker Terry Tate gets hired to punish workers. This ad may be completely incompatible with the teachings of USYD’s Business School, but you can definitely imagine it happening in your workplace. The best part: “Hey Janice”.

ALEX KENEL // Arts II Listening to: Casual Sex, Foals, Pond, Sleepy Sun. Reading: The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck. Watching: ABC’s Rake.

Issue 02 37 COW & HORNS

HAVE A COW Alexandra Mildenhall gets her game on, and flips the bird. If you’re anything like me, you’ll know that a simple five minute trip to the AppStore is enough to cause a small aneurysm. Once you navigate past ‘7-Minute Workout’ and ‘1069 Sex Facts Lite’, you catapult straight into bird-app hell and it’s sending just about everyone into a flocking frenzy. I’m not talking about the kind of ‘frenzy’ you experience when you find $2 on the ground. I’m talking about that full-on

‘refurbish-your-entire-bedroom-with-anAngry-Birds-bedsheet-and-matching-pillowcase’ kind of frenzy. But if there was ever a definitive point at which we could say society began its descent into bird-app hell, it would surely be with the release of Flappy Bird. Flappy Bird users will already know that A) its 8-bit green pipes are borderline copyright infringement of Mario, B) a high score of 6 is something to be proud of, and C) you have no control over the pseudoorgasmic sex noises that you’ll blurt out every time you lose a life.

SON

On top of this, Flappy Bird isn’t even available in the AppStore anymore and hundreds of clone apps are already springing up everywhere: Flappy Scahpelle, Fluffy Birds, City Bird – you name it. It’s absurd! So if I can offer you guys ANY sort of advice for the ongoing bird flu epidemic of 2014, it would be this: 1. Don’t buy any mobile app with any sort of bird in it. 2. You can make a lot of money developing an app with any sort of bird in it. That’s my 2c, and my $1.99 goes towards Sex Facts Lite.

DAD

Rob North gets caught up in the hype, and lets his Dad know all about Trap.

Sixty-something David North schools his son on what constitutes real music.

Dear Dad,

Dear Son,

I know you would much rather stick to Bruce Springsteen’s greatest hits – and believe me I respect that – but The Boss’ glory days are well and truly over, and with 40 odd years of non-stop touring under his belt that hungry heart is destined to give out sooner or later. It’s time to broaden your musical horizons, and what better place to start than with the latest and greatest sound to hit the mainstream: Trap. The genre has ensnared millions of electronic dance and hip-hop fans with its hypnotic 808 kicks and machine gun hi-hats, and I’m no exception – I love it. You were probably inadvertently exposed to Trap through the popular Harlem Shake meme (even you’ve heard of this one, right Dad?) which brought wunderkind producer Baauer to the top of the charts. Trap was further thrust into the international consciousness by hip-hop collective A$AP Mob and the gap-toothed psycho genius rapper Danny Brown. And, with producers with such fantastically eccentric names as Flosstradamus and Hudson Mohawke, how can you resist getting caught up in this musical evolution! So turn the speakers up and gimme that synth – it’s time to get twerkin’ Dad.

I’m sorry but I cannot possibly endure another moment of this torture. My ears are burning, and I don’t mean that in the conventional sense of the saying. In researching this so called Trap music, I took a look at a few of the more popular artists on Yahoo! (Rob: Dad refuses to use Google – no, I don’t understand it either). The first result was a group called TNGHT, and while I had low expectations for a group which fails to use vowels, their lead single gave me a small glimmer of hope. However after hitting play on the Youtubes (Rob: Ugh) I was immediately dismayed to learn it was not a delightful cover of the classic Stevie Wonder track of the same name. It was instead a mess of electronic sounds which nearly blew out my speakers. Next up was an altogether abysmal RL Grime remix of a similarly terrible song by someone called Chief Keef. Contrary to his claims, I highly doubt many bitches ‘love’ Sosa. After all, Sammy Sosa retired several years ago, and I don’t think baseball is particularly popular outside of the United States, is it? I can confidently say that this genre is horrible across the board. It is truly crap music. PS: Who is this Molly girl, and what does it mean to ‘pop’ her?

LOCKING HORNS TRAP MUSIC: Crossover genius or cause for bereavement?

NOW OPEN C L O T H I N G & A P PA R E L C O U R S E C O L L AT E R A L ACADEMIC DRESS MEMORABILIA & GIFTS

HOLME BUILDING

Issue 02 39 ARTS

ARTS CELEBADEMICS

BEAUTIFUL, SMART PEOPLE

AlEKSANDRA PASTERNACKI The 21st Century has witnessed the rise of a rare breed of celebrity and even rarer class of social commentator: the celebademic – a celebrity who pursues, or has pursued, an academic career at a tertiary institution unrelated to their current occupation. Not only are these Hollywood A-listers talented actors often considered exceptionally beautiful or handsome, they have also achieved A-level grades at some of the world’s top universities. Easily the most prominent celebademic is actor James Franco. Aside from being the author of a collection of short stories and a personal memoir, a philanthropist and Academy Award-nominee for Best Actor, Franco has dedicated himself to a career of academic study. Attending the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), Franco studied English and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts with honours in 2006. With UCLA housing one of the highestranking English faculties internationally, Franco achieved a Grade Point Average of 3.5 with an impressive feat for the Pineapple Express star. Franco then went on to undertake his graduate education at a number of Ivy League universities: he received a Master of Fine Arts in Creative

Writing from Columbia University, New York City and is completing a PhD degree in English at Yale University, Franco continues to hold lecturing and teaching positions at various colleges. In 2011, he taught a filmmaking class at New York University and in 2013, a course for short film production at University of Southern California. Expressing his passion for academia, Franco justified his studies despite being able to support his lifestyle purely from his roles in films, telling People magazine, “I’m studying things that I love so it’s not like it’s a chore”. Actress Natalie Portman is the face of the fashion-house Dior, a trained ballet dancer, and won an Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in Black Swan. Like Franco, Portman’s prowess also extends to the academic sphere. Portman was a straight-A student throughout high school, and went on to study at Harvard University where in 2003 she graduated with a Bachelor of Arts with honours in Psychology. At Harvard, she was chosen from a pool of the academic elite to work as a research assistant to notable Harvard Law professor Alan Dershowitz and co-authored two research papers which were published in scientific journals. Like Franco, she has also taught university students; in 2006, she lectured at Columbia University on the subject of Terrorism and Anti-Terrorism.

Actor Bradley Cooper was voted People Magazine’s ‘Sexiest Man of the Year’ in 2011 and has been nominated for two Academy Awards, but Cooper’s piercing blue eyes spent years roaming over academic texts and articles before appearing on television screens and magazines. He graduated from Georgetown University in 1997 with a Bachelor of Arts with honours, in English and became fluent in French after spending 6 months in France on exchange. In 2000, he attended graduate school at The New School in New York City and he received a Master of Fine Arts in acting. While Franco, Portman and Cooper are unique cases of celebrities who have not merely attended, but excelled at tertiary institutions. There are also many other celebrities who have achieved higher education: actress Emma Watson has studied at both Oxford and Brown University. Both Renèe Zellweger and Mathew McConaughey received Bachelors degrees from The University of Texas, Austin in English and Radio-TelevisionFilm respectively. Australia’s Hugh Jackman received a Bachelor of Communication (Journalism) from the University of Technology, Sydney, before embarking on his acting career. Beautiful and smart celebs have it all.

40 bull usu.edu.au REVIEWS

REVIEWS

LISTEN: COLD DESIRE ERNEST ELLIS

Watch: House Of Cards – S2 BEAN WILLIMON

Ernest Ellis’ new album, Cold Desire, sees the Sydney-based band take a new direction. Their electronic musings merging with dreamy pop lines signal a departure from the guitar-pop of previous albums Hunting (2010) and Kings Canyon (2011). This third album, co-produced by Shining Bird’s Russell Webster, exudes effortlessness but still manages to keep things tight, clearly evident in ‘Shine Like Me’, which has received a decent amount of airplay, and deservedly so. ‘Exorcise It’ uses a wellpracticed Ernest Ellis formula: a simple melodic line repeats, slowly building with the right amount of layers and then transforms into something completely unexpected. Punctuated with bursts of cathartic energy, ‘Exorcise It’ with ‘Shine Like Me’ are standouts of the album. Cold Desire is an album that relies on nonchalant vocals and an omnipresent saxophone with wondrous results. The sax is especially smooth on ‘Inside Outside’ and ‘Way Down’, and songs are further lightened by welcome harmonica intrusions and synths that don’t take themselves too seriously. Markedly more spacious, Cold Desire sounds like Ernest Ellis has taken a deep-sea dive: their is murkier – both melodically and lyrically – and relishes in synths and low-slung vocals.

In a whirlwind of suspense and drama capturing our worst fears of world governments, House of Cards depicts the political world as personal and therein lies its allure. The first season saw political animal Frank Underwood (Kevin Spacey) rise to the role of US Vice President, with his sights set on the Presidency and control over the government. With a refreshing new direction, the second season shifts the spotlight on to Frank’s uncompromising personality as a barrier to his ambitious goals, rather than the harsh nature of politics, triumphing as a realistic depiction of political struggle. Frank’s stubborn quest for power and revenge collide as he realises he isn’t in control of his life, his work or even himself. Robin Wright returns as Claire, Frank's level-headed but equally conniving wife. Her portrayal of the Lady Macbeth figure, spurring on her husband’s assertion of power, grants Wright an Emmy, even outshining Spacey in her impeccable performance. The season revolves around the intertwining of the personal and the professional: no longer is the show solely about Frank’s vengeance, but rather the ambitions of all characters and how they either align or sit at odds with that of the Underwoods.

KATIE DAVERN

Virat Nehru

Listen: Spirit Of Akasha (Celebrating Morning Of The Earth)

VARIOUS ARTISTS For the soundtrack of Spirit of Akasha, a celebration of the 1971 Australian classic Morning of the Earth, director Andrew Kidman has opted for a two-disc collection of songs that recall the sun-drenched Laurel Canyon scene of the 1970s. Acoustic guitars, vocal harmonies and laid-back tempos are abundant. While the album is mildly boring and predictable, there are a number of standout tracks. Matt Corby leaves behind the Jeff Buckley-esque wailings of his past and focuses on a groove-driven, full-band blues jam. Andrew Kidman himself features on the release with his band The Windy Hills on a track that grows and swells. However, indie tracks by Grouplove and Angus Stone tend to fall flat in amongst a collection of similar tracks. Australian duo Canyons provide a highlight with ‘Akasha’, a dense layered mix, driven by percussion rather than acoustic guitars. Perth group Pond attempts to recall the traditions of the Beach Boys in their track ‘Colouring the Streets’ but instead overdrive the guitars. While the compilation provides a number of standouts, as with other film soundtracks, it can at times seem lengthy and lacks cohesion.

Mitchell Ryan

Watch: Rick and Morty Dan Harmon & Justin Roiland Following the adventures of 14-year-old Morty and his eccentric, scientist grandfather Rick, Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland’s creation is a dark take on Back to the Future and settles in a new niche amongst adult animated shows: similar to Adventure Time, but a lot less cute. Rick and Morty is not for everyone. Each episode prompts a mix of disgust and shock, and fantastic happenings are often prioritised over character development. It’s these qualities that give the show its reputation for being ‘boy humour’. Nevertheless, there are some astonishingly clever and hilarious moments in this show. Culture geeks will enjoy the numerous intertextual references, from Inception to A Nightmare on Elm Street, and some fun guest voices including comedian John Oliver. But it’s the exceptional voice acting of Roiland that makes this show; playing both protagonists, he has created two lasting and distinctive characters in an everchanging world. Rick’s blabbering and burping, vis-á-vis Morty’s stammering and nervousness, highlights the ridiculousness of their friendship and makes for some good laughs. Prepare to hear the name ‘Morty’ more than you ever have, because Rick and Morty is here and worth a watch.

ERIN ROONEY

Issue 02 41 REVIEWS

EXPERIENCE O-Week from a Fresher’s eyes // University of Sydney O-Week

Stumbling onto Eastern Avenue for the first time ever, I felt an acute sense of belated entitlement. After scuttling through high school, all I really wanted was to acquire a merciful slice of the fated nirvana that is tertiary education. And in this case, I wanted the whole cake. As an outsider, accompanying a friend to the Education faculty welcome, I was impressed. There’s something incredibly galvanizing about being traipsed through the expectations of a foreign course, and I emerged quite romantically convicted that I had found my true calling in ethnomethodology. But this was abruptly forgotten once free friands were announced. Refueled and repurposed, it was time to take on a tent or two. The hunt rapidly disentangled into something shamefully manic with the discovery that SUSLAS run weekly salsa lessons and the Wine Society doesn’t mind signing up a seventeen-year-old every now and again (cheers, Patrick). Friends, surprisingly, were accumulated along the way – the only time I had to estrange myself was when one of them chalked up a feminist brawl with an unsuspecting St. George volunteer in an Akubra. For the record, “I don’t believe in banks” is not the way to go when confronted with a savings account. Photobooths were exploited and melanomas acquired whilst being actively sautéed on the pavement in various queues. Elbows buckling with calico bags and branded pens puncturing our sides, heading down to Hermann’s Bar to catch a literary BULL goring or two with a side of dulce de leche was the perfect way to wind up the start of a stellar O-Week. First impressions aside, it was tough to face Eastern Avenue the next morning without grinning like I’d had an impassioned affair with it. And before you ask, yes. You really do need four of those free bottle green visors because you will be a tennis-playing accountant one day.

Nakita Dass

Endless Love: Bland, boring and blatantly pathetic. Poor acting and a dreadful script. You’ll want the love to end.

Last Vegas: The Hangover with the elderly, except more tiresome and lame. It's nice to see these oldies relaxing a bit, but nothing to be remembered by.

Schapelle: Channel Nine’s telemovie is subliminally racist and sports a lot of soap opera drama. Good make-up and hair department though.

Convict: Interesting to watch and a gritty depiction of life behind bars. If you loved The Combination, you'll love this Aussie modern classic.

Dallas Buyers Club: Unusual concept and antiestablishment. Insightful and very interesting. McConaughey deserves everything.

INXS: Never Tear Us Apart: Ode to the Australian band and amazing acting, script and direction. Must watch.

Robocop: Terrible storyline and diluted political message. Robocop should have stayed in the 1980s.

42 bull usu.edu.au CLUB CONFIDENTIAL

CLUB CONFIDENTIAL O-Week

on campus // 26-28 february 2014 O-Week has come and gone and taken with it the innocence of a whole lot of first years. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not talking about sex. Get your minds out of the gutter. Rather, we are talking about the alienation from their species-being that only a University education can provide. Oh that it were all as simple as O-Week led you to believe. By now, any thought that University was a real life enactment of Van Wilder, a Bacchanalian offering to pagan gods, has been left behind. Good luck finding time to go to Wine Soc now that the spectre of midterms is upon ye. Your ever ceaseless and abnormally pale BULL Eds were cooked (medium rare and delicious) under the oppressive Sun which bore down upon day one. The rain that came after that was welcome to us, but perhaps not the crowds who huddled in Fisher Library (no doubt for the first and last time in their degree) seeking protection from the elements. We hope you took the opportunity to straddle our mechanical BULL. It is the last free ride you are going to get.

Thou shalt worship no other gods but me

Performance art takes a macabre turn

SEAN O'GRADY Look on my works ye mighty and despair

This is not a costume

Evangelical Union recruiting exceeds expectations

I have many leather bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany. Campus Security

Photo: Julia Robertson

Issue 02 43 CLUB CONFIDENTIAL

Top right:You may have tonsillitis. Please consult your physician.

Charades: College Initiation

The dream will never die

On Wednesdays we wear pink

Spotted: St Vincent’s ER Meta

“15 seconds! Boy, thats longer than I usually last”. Eds: “That is the 47th time we have heard that joke today” Presented without comment I have been hosting O-Week since before you were born.

44 bull usu.edu.au SHUTTER UP

SHUTTER UP Lines PHOTOGRAPHER: Louisa Studman Canon EOS 100D Focal length: 52mm Shutter Speed: 1/100 Aperture: f/6.3 ISO: 100

snap!

Send us your unique, arty or just plain cool (as in, not another quad shot) campus snap to usubullmag@gmail.com. We’ll publish our fave each edition in full page glory. High-res, 300dpi jpegs only – portrait orientation.

Issue 02 45 FUN

COMICS SEND YOURS TO US AT usubullmag @ gmail.com

by SAMUEL MCEWEN

by Whitney Duan

46 bull usu.edu.au ASK ISABELLA

ASK ISABELLA

Niece of Aunty Irene Lover of Daddy Mack Mother of three and to all those who need advice I am woman, hear me roar

BLACK GLOVES

LAZY EYE

Dear Isabella,

There’s someone in my electrical engineering class who always wears black gloves. I think may not have fingers. How do I ask him?

I contacted you last month about the man who frightened me because he had a lazy eye. I did what you told me and accused him of faking it. He started to cry and when I went to get my coffee the next day he wasn’t there.

~ Curious George George, show a bit of goddamn initiative and devise some kind of test. Really, sometimes the people who write to me make me wonder about what mothers are teaching their hatchlings. I know exactly what I would use to tempt him to get his gloves off. I’ve never had anyone say no, well never say no and mean it. ~ Bella xxx

Dear Isabella,

Thankyou for your letter and I apologise for the delay. Madame Isabella has been most unwell. She says you've been cruel and heartless peoplle Kind regards,

ORANGE SPORANGE

I’ve been feeling really unwell lately. I Googled my symptoms and I think I might have some kind of parasitic worm. What should I name it? ~ Sarah I am troubled by your letter Sarah. You’re lucky I just happened to be wearing a pair of black gloves when I opened it or I could have caught whatever ghastly Brett, John or Brock you have. Colin, the MECO work experience lad who screens my letters, may very well have got that worm inside of him now. He hasn’t been seen for three days. You should name it Colin in memorium.

WIN tickets to SABOTAGE, In Cinemas May 1

Dear Jane,

~ Colin (Work experience student Madame Isabella’s Girls) xxx

PARASITE

~ Bella xxx

~ Jane

Dear Isabella, My girlfriend loves the colour orange. Our pillows, lamps and paintings are all orange. We joke about it but it really annoys me that everything has to be orange all the time. Is there any word that rhymes with orange? ~ Matthew The only word in the 20-volume historical Oxford English Dictionary that rhymes with orange is sporange. This is also known as a spore case. It’s where spores are produced. ~ Bella xxx

Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Worthington and Joe Manganiello, SABOTAGE is an action thriller that follows an elite mobile operations team of ten DEA agents. When the team executes a tactical raid on a cartel safe house, it turns out to be an elaborate theft operation, pre-planned by members of the DEA itself, to hide $10 million in cash. The rouge agents believe

their secret is safe – that is until someone begins methodically assassinating members of the team, one-by-one. As the body count rises, everyone is a suspect, including members of the team itself. To enter, email your name and contact details to usubullmag@ gmail.com. Email subject heading is SABOTAGE. Competition closes 25 April.

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That's uni life sorted. The Co-op: SUSF Centre,Building G09, Cnr Codrington Street & Darlington Road UNIVERSITY OF SYDNEY NSW 2006 Phone: 02 8935 8258 The good bits about the ME Bank offer Co-op Members (that’ll be you!) who open an ME Bank EveryDay Transaction Account (ETA) with a co-branded Debit MasterCard® as a single account holder, will nab some awesome perks. Whew, glad we got that out in one breath. Oh sorry, the perks we mentioned? Here they are: $25 will be paid by our mates at ME Bank into your ETA within 60 days from the date it’s opened. 5% cash back will also be paid by the ME Bank champions for 3 months from the date your ETA is opened on all purchases made within Australia using PayPass™ Tap & Go™ on your co-branded card, for amounts of $100 or less. So no, you will not get 5% cash back on the new yacht you were about to buy… unless it’s a bath toy. The 5% cash back will be paid into your account within 30 days after the date the transaction is debited to your account. Winning! By the way, you can only get this offer on the first ETA you open and not with any other ETA offer.

But wait, there’s more… University Co-operative Bookshop Limited ABN: 70 009 937 160 (p. 02 9325 9600 w:coop.com.au) promotes and distributes ME Bank deposit products as an authorised representative of Members Equity Bank Pty Ltd ABN 56 070 887 679 (p.13 15 63 w: mebank.com.au) AFSL 229500 (“ME Bank”) in relation to the ETA. ME Bank is the issuer of the ETA. There really is no such thing as a free lunch - fees and charges apply. ETA terms and conditions are available on request for those who say please. This is general information only and you should consider if this product is appropriate for you. MasterCard and the MasterCard brand mark are registered trademarks of MasterCard International Incorporated. Tap & Go and PayPass are trademarks of MasterCard International Incorporated. Over and out.

Ale Cun xand nin ra Exp gha iry D m at 3 1D

ece

201

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