The Galaxy Issue

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BUZZSAW Ground Control to Major Tom December 2012

News & Views

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Buzzsaw presents...

EDITORS’ COMMENT

The Galaxy Issue

Welcome earthlings, we come in peace.

The galaxy is expansive, dark, unknown. It seems so distant and far away, yet it is a massive system that literally bounds all of us together with each other, the planets, stars, moons, even intergalactic dust, gas and cosmic rays. Maybe even other life forms. But in this P\VWHU\ DQG GDUNQHVV ZH ÀQG FXULRVLW\ DQG OLJKW 7KH galaxy makes us feel scared and excited, innovative, adventurous and dangerous all at once — this mix of feelings making the galaxy even more intriguing to the human race.

BUZZSAW News & Views Upfront Ministry of Cool Prose & Cons Sawdust Design Art Website Haircut Seesaw Production

But more importantly, we were inspired by our own personal hero: David Bowie, the original Starman. How best to understand the galaxy, you ask? You can look at it through the lens of a telescope at the Clinton B. Ford Observatory, and use physics and photometry to discover the secrets of the universe (More Than A Telescope, page 23). You can study the alignment of the stars and planets and how it affects our daily lives (Writ-­ ten in the Cosmos, page 18). You can look at the galaxy through the lens of religion, searching for answers in the texts and tenets of the world’s major faiths (Realms of Spirituality, page 21). Or you can put your imagina-­ tion to the task, like our local starman Rod Serling, who used the supernatural to talk about issues here on earth through The Twilight Zone (Down To Earth, page 29). There are a million ways to look at the millions of stars that make up our Milky Way Galaxy — and you FDQ ORRN IRU D PLOOLRQ \HDUV ZLWKRXW HYHU ÀQGLQJ DOO WKH answers. But the question we want the answer to most? In the words of David Bowie, “Is there life on Mars?” <3 The Editors

Adviser Founders

Meagan McGinnes Kacey Deamer Gena Mangiaratti Carly Sitzer Jenni Zellner Mariana Garces Danielle West Anika Steppe David Lurvey Jenni Zellner Emily Miles Rachael Lewis-­Krisky

Kayla Reopelle David Andersen Timothy Bidon -RVK *UHHQÀHOG Chelsea Hartman Robert S. Hummel Karen Muller Rocco Praderio Evan Spitzer Jeff Cohen Abby Bertumen Kelly Burdick Bryan Chambala Sam Costello Thom Denick Cole Louison James Sigman

Buzzsaw is published with support from Campus Progress / Center for American Progress (online at CampusProgress.org). Buzzsaw is also funded by the Ithaca College Student Government Association and the Park School of Communications. Our Press is our press. (Binghamton, NY) Buzzsaw uses student-generated art and photography and royalty-free images.

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

Views expressed in this magazine are not necessarily those of the editorial staff or of Ithaca College. Feedback and contributions should be sent to buzzsawmag@gmail.com. Front & back cover by Evan Spitzer Table of Contents image by Anika Steppe Center spread by Aaron Mansur Upfront divider by David Lurvey Ministry of Cool divider by Colleen Cunha Prose & Cons divider by Karen Rich Sawdust divider by Erika Feldman

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Write Us Our magazine exists to inspire thoughtful debate and open up the channels through which information is shared. Your comments and feedback are all a part of this process. Reach the editors by email at: buzzsawmag@gmail.com

Table of Contents News & Views .................................................4 Current events, local news & quasi-­educated opinions.

Upfront .......................................................17 Selected dis-­education of the month.

Ministry.of.Cool ........................................28 Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Prose & Cons ............................................37 Sawdust .......................................................41 Threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

Check out our daily content at:

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Compiled by Meagan McGinnes

buzzcuts

Space Funding NASA’s budget is

$19 billion -The ,YJ½RKXSR 4SWX

It costs $1 billion more than NASA’s budget just to provide air conditioning for temporary tents and housing in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“If the Earth gets hit by an asteroid, it’s game over. It’s control-alt-delete for civilization.” -Bill Nye on why President Obama should not cut funding for space exploration, The Washington Post

SpaceX’s billionaire CEO Elon Musk has said that he named his spacecraft “Dragon” after the ½GXMSREP ±4YJJ XLI 1EKMG (VEKon,” from the hit song by music group Peter, Paul and Mary.

Since 1976, there were

1,400 NASA inventions

that wound up as products or services, such as kidney dialysis machines, CAT scanners, and even freeze-dried food. -About.com

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

-space.com

This year, SpaceX is celebrating its 10th anniversary and has a $1.6 billion deal with NASA to provide YRQERRIH GEVKS ¾MKLXW XS XLI International Space Station. -space.com

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A Barely Living Wage

Obstacles for Sodexo employees even after wage success By Lillie Fleshler

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percent. Yet these were employ-­ ees who had been working at So-­ dexo for only three to four years. In contrast, those who had been there for 15 to 20 years only re-­ ceived a 25 cent increase. This unfair discrepancy was unfortu-­ nate, but seemed fairly tolerable in light of the victory, until Erica and other workers began to in-­ form me about what else was go-­ ing on. “We might get more money, but they’ve cut people’s hours to ac-­ commodate it,â€? said Hillary*, one of Erica’s fellow workers. She was referring to changes that have taken place since the living wage was implemented. “Instead of working eight and a half hour days, they’re down to seven and a half hour days. They’ve lost an hour a day, and Ă€YH KRXUV SHU ZHHN 7KDW¡V hours instead of 40,â€? she said. These numbers may seem incon-­ clusive on their own, but when you do the math, the result is quite astounding. “I know a lady who makes less now, with the livable wage, then she did before the livable wage, when she was at 40 hours a week,â€? Hillary said. This seems hard to believe, but if you calcu-­ late a few typical long-­term em-­ ployee salaries with an increase of 25 cents, and then factor in a Ă€YH KRXU FXW SHU ZHHN WKH ORVV in weekly salary can range any-­ where from $250 to $280 lost per month, assuming the cut is a di-­ rect result of the wage raises. “When you’re living paycheck to paycheck, you need that money,â€? remarked Julie*, a worker who now makes less after the living wage raises. I acknowledge that this is large-­ ly speculation, but if you take into

account other changes that have appeared since January there are one too many instances to write off as coincidence. For example, there has been an alleged large-­ scale elimination of positions, resulting in an environment of “do more, in less time, with less help,â€? Hillary said. “It’s affected everyone, regardless of whether they’re at 40 hours or not.â€? She described more changes, stories of shaving off overtime hours, cuts in health insurance, and reducing student help in half — all of the working standards LIPS stands for, violated right under our noses, arguably as a result of our own initiative. I can’t help but feel some per-­ sonal responsibility. It seems like the only thing I can do is shed light on what’s been happening and remind people that highly SXEOLFL]HG Ă DVK\ YLFWRULHV DUH dangerous. They shield the fact that long-­standing issues of cor-­ poratization and labor abuse re-­ quire lifelong struggles and gen-­ erations of individuals who are committed to systematic change. I don’t want to completely dis-­ miss what LIPS and community members accomplished, but I do want the repercussions of our liv-­ ing wage campaign to serve as a lesson for fellow social justice advocates who dare to journey on the never-­ending uphill battle we call progress. *names have been changed for anonymity _______________________________ Lillie Fleshler is a senior cinema and photography major who will NHHS Ă€JKWLQJ LQ WKH QDPH RI SURJ-­ UHVV (PDLO KHU DW OĂ HVKO #LWKDFD edu.

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News & Views

n the spring of 2011, the Itha-­ ca community rejoiced at the living wage victory for Ithaca College’s Sodexo-­employed din-­ ing services workers. Beginning in 2010, a workers rights group on campus, Labor Initiative Pro-­ moting Solidarity, had partnered with campus workers, the Tomp-­ kins County Worker’s Center and various community activists DQG SXEOLF RIĂ€FLDOV WR SUHVVXUH both Sodexo and the Ithaca Col-­ lege administration, to pay their workers a living wage. After tire-­ lessly meeting, marching, advo-­ cating and making their voices heard, they had won the battle. As a member of LIPS and an ac-­ tive participant of that campaign, I was thrilled with this success. I couldn’t believe we had accom-­ plished what we set out to do. It was a true victory for the under-­ dog; David beating Goliath; proof that the people really do have power. During the campaign, my main role was to touch base with cam-­ pus workers. LIPS never wanted the campaign to stray from the folks it was actually affecting. Through this process, I became very friendly with a worker named Erica*. When the campaign was over, I made a conscious effort to keep in touch with her. Despite the momentous nature of our victory, LIPS members and I knew that the battle for fair labor standards was far from over. Unfortunate-­ ly, what I began to hear was far worse than I had expected. 7KH OLYLQJ ZDJH UDLVHV RIĂ€FLDOO\ took effect in January of 2012. Workers who had only been mak-­ ing a minimum wage were ele-­ vated to a living wage, resulting in some raises equaling over 35

Victory With A Grain of Salt Media Policy leaves students questioning administration By Gena Mangiaratti

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BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

he campus community seemed to breathe a sigh of relief Nov. 13 with the an-­ nouncement that the media policy instituted on Oct.1 had been re-­ scinded. While there is a widespread feel-­ ing of gratitude that the administra-­ tion responded to the backlash, the sudden and short-­lived policy has stirred lingering questions regarding how such a broad policy could be in-­ stituted with such little explanation or discussion as to why. Kelsey O’Connor, senior journal-­ ism major and editor in chief of The Ithacan, said the media policy came as a surprise. While the adminis-­ tration claimed that the policy was aimed to direct student reporters to the proper sources for the conve-­ nience of both the source and the reporter, O’Connor said there were no related incidents brought to her attention prior to the policy’s imple-­ mentation. “That’s what really surprised me, was the fact that there was no consultation before the policy,” O’Connor said. Members of the campus commu-­ nity — including but not limited to student journalists — criticized the policy and made calls for its repeal through a letter signed by faculty and staff, a Student Government Association referendum, and a stu-­ dent-­organized on-­campus protest that culminated with a sit-­in in the Peggy Ryan Williams building.

Student leaders hope the policy’s sud-­ den, unexplainable implementation has taken the form of a wake-­up call for students to take interest and form re-­ sponses to the process in which college policies are created. Ayla Ferrone, a senior journalism major and one of the organizers of the protest, said she feels the students were left out of the conversation preceding the policy, and that the demonstration was a way to engage the administration. “We felt that we needed something where, not only Park students who felt like this was a violation of their edu-­ cation, but also students from other schools, could get involved and really come together as a school of community and present that to the administration,” Ferrone said. Ferrone noted that the protest turned out to be the same day as the Board of Trustees meeting, where participants in the demonstration handed out small print outs with reasons for the protest to members of the Board of Trustees as they exited the meeting. Rob Flaherty, senior television-­radio and politics double major and president of the SGA, said the response to the me-­ GLD SROLF\ LV WKH ÀUVW WLPH KH KDV VHHQ people from all areas of campus come together in the face of a college policy, which he attributes to both the lack of student input in the decision process and the palpable effects of this particu-­ lar policy. He hopes the media policy has lit a spark that has gotten the student body to realize the importance of their opin-­

Photo by Karen Muller

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ions on college policy. ´6HHLQJ SHRSOH JHW ÀUHG XS DERXW that was good, and I hope that in the future the student body gets active, gets engaged, and continues to be ef-­ fective in lobbying,” Flaherty said. On the day the policy was rescinded, President Tom Rochon told The Itha-­ can that his discussions with student media leaders following the policy’s implementation had a greater role in his decision to rescind the policy than the student and faculty activism. But the visibility that the protests and petitions afforded to the criticisms no doubt helped bring light to the widespread criticism. O’Connor said she was surprised by the all-­campus response, but that the suddenness of the policy seemed to worry people. “If the community response really shows anything it’s that they don’t take new policies lightly, you know?” O’Connor said. “I thought that was re-­ ally the most interesting, or the great-­ est part of this entire media policy is the fact that the students faculty staff all really came together in such huge way that I’ve certainly never seen since I’ve been on campus.” Many forms of discussion seemed to follow the implementation of the policy and its backlash, including a panel held by the Ithaca College chapter of the Society of Professional Journal-­ ists and closed meetings between the administration and student media leaders. But it seems that more of this discourse should have occurred prior to the policy’s implementation and its lacking hints at a break in communi-­ cation between the administration and the people whom the policies affect. President Rochon declined to be in-­ terviewed for this article. Hopefully, the media policy, its re-­ sponse and its eventual rescindment will continue to serve as an example of not only a victory at the hands of community engagement, but as a rea-­ son for all members of the campus community to continue questioning and if necessary, criticizing, the value of their input in the administration’s decisions. _____________________________________ Gena Mangiaratti is a senior journalism PDMRU ZKR LV UHDG\ WR EH D ZDWFKGRJ IRU student journalism. Email her at gman-­ JLD #LWKDFD HGX

Image by Anika Steppe

Music o n t he M ind Local study explores emotional relationship to different music genres By Bronwyn Bishop

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ave you ever been cheered up Samson, who will participate in “The point of the study is to test how by a certain piece of music? Markham’s study as a pianist, said the atmosphere of a performance af-­ Has a song ever made you that when he’s invested in listening fects people’s reactions,â€? Markham cry? Music can inspire exaltation and to music he “feels the way the music said. despair. It can bring back long-­buried feels.â€? He added, “If the music is par-­ Markham’s hypothesis is that “the memories, and can even help with the ticularly powerful, that feeling lingers atmosphere that is characteristic of management of brain disorders such HYHQ DIWHU ,¡YH Ă€QLVKHG OLVWHQLQJ Âľ a certain genre of music stimulates as Alzheimer’s disease and autism. It How is it possible that a pattern of a certain reaction from its audience.â€? is remarkable that the human brain is sound waves can provoke such strong In other words, the somewhat “stuffyâ€? so deeply affected by a mere collection emotional reactions? John White, as-­ environment of a classical music ven-­ of organized sound. sociate professor of music theory at ue is what prevents the average audi-­ Music is a part of virtually every-­ Ithaca College, believes music has ex-­ one’s life, and it is fre-­ treme powers. quently referred to as a “Music is powerful due to “universal language.â€? its ability to go beyond the Junior music compo-­ limit of words. That is, mu-­ sition major Michael sic can ‘speak to’ or hook Samson said not all our emotions in ways more people are affected by powerful than words can,â€? the same types of mu-­ White said. The composer sic. Iannis Xenakis, in his book “Different styles of -Michael Samson, junior music compositon major Formalized Music: Thought music elicit different and Mathematics in Compo-­ emotional respons-­ sition, described music as es, and I think that’s totally awe-­ “catalytic: its mere presence permits ence member from connecting with some! What I feel listening to Radio-­ internal psychic or mental transfor-­ classical music, not the music itself. head I could never feel listening to mations in the same way as the crys-­ “The cultures behind classical mu-­ Beethoven, I could never feel listening tal ball of the hypnotist.â€? sic and folk music affect the way peo-­ to BĂŠla Fleck and the Flecktones and No matter what style of music you ple interact with those types of mu-­ so on. That’s why I like to listen to as prefer, whether you’re a musician, sic,â€? Markham said. much music as I can: so I can experi-­ a composer or just a listener, music If Markham’s study hypothesis is ence the full range of emotional expe-­ impacts you in a unique way. By ex-­ supported by the study, it may change riences that music could provide me.â€? ploring unfamiliar genres, you open some students’ minds about music. Emma Markham, a junior guitar per-­ yourself up to all the emotion music Many people will say point-­blank that formance major from Amherst, Mass., can convey. they hate classical music, jazz, show is preparing to conduct an indepen-­ ,I \RX¡G OLNH WR OHDUQ PRUH DERXW \RXU tunes or heavy metal, refusing to lis-­ dent study in which she will explore relationship with music, you can par-­ ten to any music of that style. How-­ different people’s reactions to different WLFLSDWH LQ (PPD¡V VWXG\ ZKLFK LV WDN-­ ever, if Markham’s hypothesis proves styles of music. She plans to gather ing place Friday, Dec. 7, at 7 p.m. in correct, those same people might dis-­ an audience to listen to a folk trio and :KDOHQ¡V ,JHU /HFWXUH +DOO cover that it’s the “snobbyâ€? jazz cul-­ then a classical trio both in the same ____________________________________ ture or the “angryâ€? atmosphere at a venue, but with different atmospheres %URQZ\Q %LVKRS LV D IUHVKPDQ 795 metal concert that they dislike, rather coinciding with each respective genre. major who likes to move and groove than the actual music. 7KH DXGLHQFH PHPEHUV ZLOO Ă€OO RXW D WR DQ\ WXQH (PDLO KHU DW EELVKRS # In fact, some styles of music are survey asking them about their enjoy-­ ithaca.edu more similar than you might think. ment of the two groups in the different atmospheres.

“If the music is particularly powerful, that feeling lingers IZIR EJXIV -´ZI ½RMWLIH listening.â€?

News & Views

7

Filling the Gap

A look at one man’s transformation of the local education system By Megan Devlin

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t was a Friday afternoon in late May, just a few weeks before the school year would end and stu-­ dents would be huddled on curb-­ sides waiting for ice cream trucks to make their hourly rounds. But for one teacher, six weeks was too long. That afternoon, she turned in her keys and her grade book. “I won’t be in on Monday and I’m quitting teaching — and that’s that.â€?

said. For Claus, prior teaching experience helped reveal the types of institutional suffering that take place when kids are placed at the hands of a system that doesn’t respect them. “As part of that experience, I became interested in the fundamental inequali-­ ties and injustices that African Ameri-­ cans experienced in schools,â€? Claus said. Ithaca College welcomed Claus to the

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

“Claus believes public education needs structural change from within — and that begins with teachers.â€? Enter Mr. Jeff Claus: a curly head-­ ed graduate student of the Univer-­ sity of Pennsylvania who had been substitute teaching at the school for the semester. That same afternoon, the Principal of the predominantly low-­income,minority-­populated school called Mr. Claus into his of-­ Ă€FH DQG PDGH D SURSRVLWLRQ ´+RZ ZRXOG \RX OLNH WR Ă€QLVK RXW the year here?â€? While a two-­month salary was an attractive option, Claus worried that his focus on teaching English ZRXOG GLVTXDOLI\ KLP IURP Ă€OOLQJ WKH school’s need for a math teacher. No sooner did the principal reassure him: “All you have to do is tread wa-­ ter.â€? ´7KLV ZDV P\ Ă€UVW H[DPSOH RI LQ-­ equality,â€? Claus said. As an inexperienced college stu-­ GHQW QRW HYHQ Ă€QLVKHG ZLWK KLV Masters degree, Claus was placed in a situation where kids were going to be lied to. The previous teacher had already decided to fail some of them, which meant those students would be held back the next year. “[The principal] treated this as Ă€QH QRUPDO DQG DFFHSWDEOH Âľ &ODXV

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Education department in 1994. Since then, Claus has focused his teaching on social and cultural issues in educa-­ tion. To begin combating these issues of race and racism in education, Claus believes public education needs struc-­ tural change from within — and that begins with teachers. His pedagogy has been “to support and foster the devel-­ opment of educators who will have not only the skills, but also the persistence and the courage and the resilience to work within an institution of public ed-­ ucation.â€? One of Claus’ former students, Erin Irby, said she has always been passion-­ ate about education. In fact, she may be destined for it — both her parents are teachers. As a senior on the cusp of graduation, Irby is planning to ap-­ ply for a teaching assistant position in France. She’s pursuing this option in part because of her study abroad expe-­ rience in Toulouse this spring, and in part because of Claus’ pedagogy. Her experience in his course allowed Irby to critically examine the public education system both at home and abroad. “They created the French education system to unify the nation with a com-­

mon language, but bridge the gap from aristocracy and peasant popu-­ lation,â€? Irby said in reference to Hor-­ ace Mann’s notion of education being “the great equalizer.â€? Mann believed education was the “balance-­wheel of social machinery,â€? giving each person the independence and the means to UHVLVW WKH VHOĂ€VKQHVV RI RWKHUV DQG the poverty that creates achievement gaps. Claus, however, helped Irby break down this misconception and think critically about the institutional structures enabling privilege and dis-­ enfranchising marginalized groups. She said Claus fostered this critique by encouraging students to share their stories and personal experiences in education, never imposing his own views on their discussions and ideas. “For future educators it’s very im-­ portant to have a good educator, and he was the epitome of that,â€? she said. In his courses, Claus also uses in-­ terviews from his own research to il-­ lustrate the need for multicultural DQG FXOWXUDOO\ DIĂ€UPLQJ HGXFDWLRQ and demonstrate the consequences of schools that fail to do so. Senior Liz Stoltz, who took Social and Cultural Foundations of Education her fresh-­ man year, said Claus stimulated her energy to research the impacts that poverty and adequate nutrition have on educational opportunities. “I was encouraged to examine more critically how socioeconomic status correlates with school funding inequi-­ WLHV DQG QXWULWLRQDO GHĂ€FLHQFLHV Âľ VKH said. 2QO\ PRQWKV LQWR KHU Ă€UVW \HDU at Ithaca College, Stoltz launched the campus organization Food for Thought, which aims to provide edu-­ cation and charity for communities dealing with children’s malnutrition across the globe. For the past few years, Stoltz has also been a student researcher for She’s the First, an or-­ ganization that sponsors girls’ educa-­ tion in the developing world, helping WKHP EHFRPH WKH Ă€UVW LQ WKHLU IDPLOLHV to graduate. “Through our research assign-­ PHQWV KH LQĂ XHQFHG P\ DGYRFDF\ IRU

Photo by Amanda Kirschenbaum

Claus tours locally and abroad with the groups, he also works with his ZLIH RQ Ă€OP VFRULQJ 7KH FRXSOH ZLOO begin their newest project in January, shortly after Claus’ retirement, scor-­ ing music for Northern Borders D Ă€OP based on the book by Howard Mosher. From hosting community dinners at his house to engaging students in service projects at local elemen-­ tary schools and community activity centers, Claus has set the bar high for other faculty members at Ithaca College. According to Richardson, he models the behaviors that any com-­ mitted faculty has in terms of his or her scholarship, and the application of that scholarship in terms of the lives of people. Addressing the MLK Program spe-­ FLĂ€FDOO\ 5LFKDUGVRQ VDLG ´+H¡V VRPH-­ one I’m indebted to for his willingness and commitment to wanting to make a positive difference in the lives of these talented, underrepresented stu-­ dents.â€? Richardson has also observed Claus actively working to change the lives of youth outside the classroom. For the past 10 years, Claus has been involved with the South Side Commu-­ nity Center. He wrote the grant that funded the center’s radio program, which has become an important so-­ cial medium for educators and social-­ justice leaders like Claus to reach and connect with young people. While Claus is leaving the top of South Hill come December, Richard-­ son believes his engagement with the Ithaca community will continue fos-­ tering the relationship between aca-­ demia and community, and serving as a “premier ambassadorâ€? for creat-­ ing the next generation of individuals who can use education as a way of social mobility — regardless of where the learning occurs. “What we lose is a practitioner in addition to a scholar,â€? said Dr. Rich-­ ardson. “What we gain is someone who will be an advocate in the com-­ munity who will allow the community to continue connecting with college.â€? ____________________________________ Megan Devlin is a junior CMD major PDMRU ZKR PD\ QRW EH Ă€OOLQJ WKH JDS EXW FRXOG PLQG WKH JDS LI VKH PRYHV WR /RQGRQ (PDLO KHU DW PGHYOLQ # ithaca.edu.

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News & Views

treating school food as a social justice issue,â€? Stoltz said. $V WKH Ă€UVW IDFXOW\ LQ UHVLGHQW RI the Martin Luther King Jr. Scholar Program, Claus has left a legacy. Integrating his love for education and social change, Claus guided the scholars through their research and social justice projects. During a so-­ cial-­justice trip to Ghana, Claus and the MLK scholars and faculty visited the “slave castles,â€? where slaves were held before being shipped to the Unit-­ ed States. In social-­justice and inter-­ national spaces like these, which have been designed with the purpose of ed-­ ucating people about what happened there, Claus said his position as a white, middle-­class male was moving. Upon leaving the site and returning to the bus, many of the MLK students and faculty members were solemn. One of the sophomore scholars began reconciling her feelings about her own identity — having an African-­Ameri-­ can father and white mother: “I never

understood my father until this moment.â€? As Claus re-­ stated her quote, tears began to well in the ducts of his eyes, re-­ enacting his own thoughts and emotions at that time. “As an educator, with a critical perspec-­ tive on schools, I thought, ‘What a failure of the educational sys-­ tem.’â€? Claus believes identity crises for students of underrepresent-­ ed groups illu-­ minate how our school systems hardly provide educational ex-­ periences that are intellectu-­ ally truthful and rich about expe-­ riences around race and racism, and that are also emotional. “We don’t take people to emo-­ tional places through learning when we should,â€? he said. “We avoid all of that.â€? Music is a personally emotional and creative outlet Claus uses to help people understand one another. Roger Richardson, creator of the MLK schol-­ ar program, said Claus often inte-­ grated musical and cultural elements into the MLK Program’s travel trips or discussion series to illuminate how rhythms and lyrics can carry emo-­ tional and moving social-­justice nar-­ ratives. Claus also fuses his passion for mu-­ sic and social-­justice learning on the community level. As a longtime gui-­ tarist and lyricist, Claus has enjoyed performing with his wife, Judy, in both the major label group The Horse Flies and indie rock band Boy With A Fish. As a testament to Claus’ integra-­ tion of music and rights-­based narra-­ WLYHV ERWK ORFDO EDQGV ZHUH DIĂ€OLDWHG with Artists Against Fracking. While

Dirty Assets

College students advocate divestment on their campuses Meagan McGinnes

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BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

which we could use them no lon-­ ger exists due to global warm-­ ing? This is the question many IC students in-­ volved with the Divest Campaign are asking to try to stir up action amongst students and the college’s board of trust-­ ees. The group is actually a coalition between many clubs on campus including the Envi-­ ronmental League of Action Network, modeled after the General Assembly from the Occupy movement. According to President Rochon, di-­ vestment has been successful in the past at IC. “One generation ago, a number of boards of trustees across the coun-­ try decided that investing in compa-­ nies whose South Africa operations were part of the apartheid system was not in alignment with the missions of their colleges,â€? Rochon said. There are 200 publically traded companies that hold a majority of the world’s coal, oil and gas reserves — companies the project hopes colleges and universities will divest from, and invest instead in clean energy. Ac-­ cording to the national campaign, “The mission of higher education is to provide individuals with the tools, resources, and knowledge to have an LQĂ XHQFH RQ WKH ZRUOG DURXQG WKHP Our schools invest in our future. Yet at the same time, they are supporting corporations that are actively threat-­ ening the future of all life on earth.â€? Fossil fuel companies are polluting the earth without paying for the dam-­ ages are caused directly to ecosys-­ tems and indirectly through severe weather caused by increased global climate change. “You don’t think about investing where the money is [going]â€? Currier said. “We think about green build-­ ing and using compostable material and recycling and that all is really good and important but to make real change you need to make it from the

Photo courtesy of DivestIC

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e all chose to come to Itha-­ ca College for one reason or another, whether that reason was academic programs, gor-­ geous gorges or Ithaca’s status as the No.1 college town. For junior environ-­ mental studies major Allison Currier, LW ZDV RQH RI WKH FROOHJH¡V Ă€YH PDLQ values that got her to send in her de-­ posit: commitment to sustainability. Through her classes and education at IC, she is constantly learning about the importance of our future and the effects we have on the entire global community. “It is actually interesting because through my education and through my experiences here, those experienc-­ es like my classes and my major has lead me to be more excited about the Divestment campaign,â€? Currier said. The Divest For Our Future Cam-­ paign is a partnership between Bet-­ ter Future Project, Students for a Just and Stable Future and 350.org. According to Divest For Our Future, their main goal is to “have all college and university presidents and boards immediately freeze any new invest-­ ment in fossil fuel companies and di-­ vest from direct or indirect ownership of fossil fuel stocks and bonds within 5 years.â€? There are 112 campus campaigns nationally, including at the IC and Cornell University campuses. IC has an endowment of $200 million, a minute fund compared to Cornell’s endowment of $5.23 billion for the Ă€VFDO \HDU ´2QH RI WKH HOHPHQWV RI WKDW Ă€GXFLDU\ responsibility is that trustees have oversight of investing the endowment in a way that promises the best pos-­ sible monetary returns so as to help subsidize high quality educational SURJUDPV SURYLGH VWXGHQW Ă€QDQFLDO aid and so forth,â€? Ithaca College Pres-­ ident Tom Rochon said. “However, it also means investing the endowment in a way that is in alignment with the mission and values of the college.â€? Though the board holds much pow-­ er over this decision, Nancy Pringle, secretary to the board of trustees, was contacted three times with no reply. What good are the degrees we are earning in college if the world in

inside out and you need to move mon-­ ey because we live in a capitalist sys-­ tem where money drives everything.â€? Cornell is also taking part in the campaign. The university’s divest-­ ment group is demanding divestment of all endowment funds from fossils fuels by 2020. They are also calling for the university to reinvest 30 per-­ cent of the endowment in sustainable IXQGV VSHFLĂ€FDOO\ SRVLWLYHO\ VFUHHQHG companies and commingled funds by 2030. A similar movement was made at Cornell a few years ago, but the policy was essentially ignored. How-­ ever, President of Kyoto Now!, Anna-­ Lisa Castle, believes this movement will be different. “We are careful about building pub-­ lic support so that we can create a sustainable movement that cannot be swept under the rug and which can be continued by future Cornellians,â€? Castle said. Whether from a large Ivy League university or a medium sized liberal arts school, students in this move-­ ment care about the future of their world and the role their colleges are playing in it. We are investing our money in these institutions so why shouldn’t they invest their funds in our futures? “We have the power because we go to this school to make a real change in where the money is being put. And I am not ever going to consider Ithaca College a sustainable environment until that money is divested from fos-­ sil fuels,â€? Currier said. ____________________________________ Meagan McGinnes is a junior journal-­ LVP PDMRU ZKR KXJV WUHHV Ă€JXUDWLYH-­ O\ (PDLO KHU DW PPFJLQQ #LWKDFD edu.

Rocking The Boat

Why the status quo no longer works for our political system

By Timothy Bidon

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o say that the recent presi-­ dential election was inter -­ esting would be an under -­ statement. America watched as media pundits analyzed the debate performances and political stanc-­ es of the two major candidates. Tensions rose as Election Day grew closer, but ultimately Barack Obama emerged victorious. All at once, it was over. The mes-­ sage flashed onto my TV screen: “Barack Obama re-­ elected.â€? Though I couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief, I was reluctant to welcome Obama back with open arms. Though Obama was, in my opinion, the better of the two major candidates, I can’t help but feel duped by both a flawed two-­party sys-­ tem and a president with some very questionable poli-­ cies. Arianna Huffington writes that the two party system is “hope-­ lessly broken,â€? saying that it “has not just narrowed our choices, it’s narrowed our thinking. It has deeply infected our political dis-­ course, our media and our politi-­ cians. To paraphrase Einstein, the problems we are facing today can-­ not be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.â€? This election season, I became very involved in following the cam-­ paign of Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein. Haven’t heard of her? That’s not surprising. The mainstream media in the U.S. pro-­ vides American citizens with little to no coverage of third-­party hap-­ penings. During the election cycle, third party candidates were barely mentioned by any major news out-­ lets. When you pair a lack of media coverage with exclusive presiden-­ tial debates organized solely for the two major candidates, third-­ party candidates are rendered vir -­ tually invisible. Because the Amer -­ ican people are not exposed to a wide variety of voices, we think

there are only two choices. In France, there is a political “leftâ€? and a political “rightâ€? but within these two broad labels ex-­ ist a myriad of parties. Currently, France has seven major political parties serving in its parliament. If you were to look at a diagram of France’s parliament, you would see a whole rainbow of colors — very different from our house of

absolutely committed to repealing the Bush tax cuts for the rich — no ifs, ands, or buts. Obama de-­ clined to say yes.â€? It doesn’t stop there. David Cay Johnston, a Pulitzer Prize win-­ ning journalist, recently spoke at Ithaca College and remarked that Obama is the most “business friendly president we’ve ever had.â€? In an article he wrote for Reuters, Johnston states: “Under President Barack Obama, business has been able to immediately write off 50 percent of new investment one year and 100 percent in two other years.â€? This doesn’t seem like a very lib-­ eral stance to me. Furthermore, with an-­ other four years of Obama comes another four years of relentless drone strikes. The Washington Post re-­ ports: “Over the past two years, the Obama administration has been secretly developing a new blueprint for pursuing terrorists, a next-­generation targeting list called the ‘disposition matrix.’â€? It continues, “Among senior Obama administration officials, there is a broad consensus that such op-­ erations are likely to be extended at least another decade.â€? These drone strikes have been highly controversial because of incidents in which they have hit civilians, some of whom were American citi-­ zens. As we venture into another four years under president Obama, I hope that everyone retains a criti-­ cal eye for both his policies and the two party system that allows him to remain in office. The status quo won’t do for much longer. _________________________________ Timothy Bidon is a junior journal-­ ism major who loves Guys and Dolls EXW ZRQ¡W VLW GRZQ IURP URFN-­ LQJ WKH ERDW (PDLO KLP DW WELGRQ # ithaca.edu

“Because the American people a re n ot e xposed t o a wide variety of voices, we think there are only two choices.�

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News & Views

representatives sporting the same old red and blue. Every four years the American people are told there are only two truly “viableâ€? candidates. Under this framework, Americans are forced to pick between the lesser of two evils. On Nov. 6th, Ameri-­ cans went to the voting booth and did exactly that, so now we get to look forward to four more years of moderate policies. For left-­leaning Americans, one of the lowest moments of President Obama’s first term was the exten-­ sion of the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy. Many criticized the Presi-­ dent for compromising too much and not taking a firm enough stance on tax justice. This elec-­ tion cycle, the repeal of the Bush tax cuts was one of Obama’s big talking points, and yet his “tough viewâ€? on taxes is already wavering. Kevin Drum, a political blogger for Mother Jones writes: “How com-­ mitted is President Obama to let-­ ting the Bush tax cuts for the rich expire? At his press conference today [Nov. 14, 2012], he gave a fuzzy answer, so Chuck Todd fol-­ lowed up and asked him if he’s

Half the Story

7XYHIRXW STIR XLI HMWGYWWMSR JSV HMJ½GYPX HMEPSKYIW Collectively written by Intersectionali-tea group

A

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

generous atmosphere of en-­ thusiasm hummed through Ford Hall on the night of Nov. 1st, 2012, as Ithaca College admin-­ istrators, faculty, students and com-­ munity members greeted each other with excitement. Sponsored by the 2IĂ€FH RI WKH 3URYRVW WKH 3HJJ\ 5 :LO-­ OLDPV 'LIĂ€FXOW 'LDORJXHV 6\PSRVLXP promised another engaging discourse about a complex and dynamic sub-­ ject. On the heels of Hurricane Sandy, Sheryl WuDunn arrived with energet-­ ic reception from an audience eager to learn about her book +DOI WKH 6N\ Turning Oppression into Opportunity IRU :RPHQ :RUOGZLGH, co-­authored by her husband, Nicholas Kristof. With the approving nods and clap-­ ping hands of President Tom Rochon, President Emerita Peggy R. Williams, and IC benefactors in attendance, the audience also projected an uncondi-­ tional acceptance of Sheryl WuDunn’s strident denouncement of gendered oppression worldwide. However, the discourse offered by WuDunn and Kristof fails to address the role of the U.S. in the global oppression of wom-­ en. A group of students realized this acute failure of the movement and de-­ cided to respond.

The book is part of a larger move-­ ment that includes a documentary Ă€OP D )DFHERRN JDPH OLYH SUHVHQWD-­ tions by WuDunn and Kristof and an interactive website. Though WuDunn LV QRW SUHVHQW LQ WKH Ă€OP .ULVWRI stars as the activist/journalist/sav-­ ior, alongside guest celebrities, as the audience hops across Africa and Asia ZLWQHVVLQJ YLJQHWWHV RI KRUULĂ€F RS-­ pression. We ask: What does it mean to point a camera in the face of a young woman and ask her to relive her rape for view-­ ers like us? In what ways does charity allow us to dissociate ourselves from the problem? Can we become saviors through monetary aid while ignoring the causes of global violence against ZRPHQ" 7KH 'LIĂ€FXOW 'LDORJXHV 6\P-­ posium quickly turned out to be noth-­ LQJ PRUH WKDQ D GLIĂ€FXOW PRQRORJXH as we realized that the Half the Sky movement answered none of these questions. In an attempt to open up a true dialogue about the causes of oppression and global inequities, we came together to ask WuDunn some questions instead. After the initial campus screen-­ ing of +DOI WKH 6N\ on Oct. 5th, we FDPH WRJHWKHU WR GLVFXVV WKH Ă DZV

of the Half the Sky movement. Each of us brought our knowledge to the discussion—pulling from scholar-­ ship on patriarchy and paternalism; colonialism and capitalism; wars and technology; systems of oppression and structural inequality; institution-­ alized racism and media representa-­ tion; international aid and national dependencies;ideologies and social-­ ization; self-­organizing and resistance movements; and counternarratives offered by marginalized groups of peo-­ ple. Together, we diligently and con-­ sciously worked to articulate highly informed critiques of the Half the Sky movement. At the symposium, we asked co-­ gent, concise questions about the PRYHPHQW¡V DSSDOOLQJ Ă DZV VXFK DV its avoidance of critical issues like the historical processes (e.g. war devas-­ tation and colonial exploitation) that have brought us to “today’s moral challenge.â€? Rather than address structures and systems that create poverty and gender inequity, the movement advo-­ cates giving women some money and educational opportunities. One prob-­ lem (of many) with the movement is that it ignores men. It declares that women are the solution, but it doesn’t identify the problem (i.e. the causes of gender ineq-­ uity). Neither in the book nor LQ WKH Ă€OP GR WKH\ DVN D PDQ about his opinions or experi-­ ences. It seems to us that in order to “Turn Oppression into Opportunity,â€? one must analyze the oppression and address the oppressive regimes in place. In-­ stead, Kristof and WuDunn sell their readers/customers the idea that all these poor African and Asian women need is our economic aid. Their answer to these multiple forms of oppres-­ sion is to give women money. Kristof and WuDunn are re-­ ceiving a lot of attention and cultural revenue from +DOI WKH 6N\. Their product does not confront U.S. citizens. Their product does not implicate our

Photo by Anika Steppe

12

public policies. Their product does not offer a holistic view of the oppression of women. Instead, their product posi-­ tions U.S. citizens as potential saviors of poor, helpless Africans and Asians. This is why their book is a best-­seller. The status quo in the US is not ques-­ tioned — an easy answer is offered. Uncritical and uninformed, but good-­hearted, consumers of +DOI WKH 6N\ will feel compelled to participate in their project. The “solutionâ€? they offer is not only ineffective (as it fails to address structural and systemic causes of poverty and inequity), but harmful. The problem is that their

spond to us. In our defense, a number of us ZDWFKHG WKH Ă€OP UHDG WKH ERRN DQG researched the many critiques of +DOI WKH 6N\ circulating within the feminist and activist blogospheres. We came together, discussed the movement extensively and formulated erudite questions with the intention of open-­ ing dialogue. When we challenged WuDunn and Kristof for his unethical journalistic DSSURDFK DV ZHOO DV WKH ZD\ WKH Ă€OP portrayed these young women and the countries they live in, we were not challenging the awareness they

“It is not about denouncing the intention of the work they do, but rather critiquing how they do it and challenging them to do it in a way that is more respectful to the young girls depicted.â€? are raising about international atroci-­ ties against women. It is not about denouncing the intention of the work they do, but rather critiquing how they do it and challenging them to do it in a way that is more respectful to the young girls depicted. It seems that because we chal-­ lenged her and her husband’s work and this popular narrative of the white man’s burden, The Ithacan portrayed us as critics with invalid opinions who don’t actually see all the good that this movement is doing. But does all this “goodâ€? make up for WKH QHJDWLYH UHVXOWV RI WKH Ă€OP" +RZ it doesn’t portray these young women who are victims of oppression as hav-­ ing any agency or resistance? How it ignores the larger, structural issues (including U.S. involvement) that have aided in this international gendered oppression? How it portrays Kristof and these celebrities as saviors who can help to raid brothels and arrest rapists in order to “saveâ€? these young women? As evinced by the coverage of the symposium, it is clear that The Itha-­ can is not sincere in creating an inclu-­

13

News & Views

project reinforces a worldview in which we are innocent and superior, and those Others from that Other land are backwards, violent savages. Through our questions at the sym-­ posium, we wanted to provide peo-­ ple with critical frameworks so that WKH\ FDQ TXHVWLRQ WKH VXSHUĂ€FLDOLW\ and harmfulness of +DOI WKH 6N\¡V approach to “saving the world, one woman at a timeâ€? (a paternalistic, agency-­removing phrase taken from the book’s dedication). *** We would like to comment on The Ithacan’s problematic coverage of the event. Rather than report on our col-­ lective efforts and questions of resis-­ tance, the article, “+DOI WKH 6N\ in-­ cites student opposition,â€? positioned us as uninformed, angry, hostile and disruptive. It is no surprise that a mainstream paper would play a role in perpetuating popular narratives while denouncing those who criticize it in any way. The Ithacan offered us an Editorial spot, but when we re-­ sponded that we would only submit a response if they guaranteed not to edit our submission, they did not re-­

sive, accepting and fair environment for all opinions. Instead, what is tak-­ ing place is the culture of silence (and silencing, for that matter). How can ZH FUHDWH GLIĂ€FXOW GLDORJXHV ZKHQ WKH privileged ostracize the subjugated? White guilt and the horrors of American capitalism cannot be cured through charity. Too often individuals look to cure the symptoms of social inequality while blatantly ignoring the causes. It is easier to work in the short term than to take up the much needed task of devising long-­term so-­ OXWLRQV ,I GLIĂ€FXOW GLDORJXH KDG WUXO\ been the framework/aim of this event, it would have brought the privileged and the oppressed together to de-­ construct issues of racism, sexism, nativism, ableism, classism, agism, neocolonialism and all other roots of social inequalities. We do not want to discredit those working within The Ithacan, espe-­ cially those who continue to create the needed struggle in writing ar-­ ticles that allow for the oppressed to speak out while being oppressed themselves. We understand that, as with any bureaucracy, there is a hierarchy of power within The Itha-­ can that they too are often silenced by. The result is a culture of silence and silencing whereby the privileged do not even have to acknowledge or begin to deconstruct privileges. We DUH GLVWUDFWHG IURP WKH WUXO\ GLIĂ€FXOW dialogues that need to take place, and that deconstruct the complex and intricate issues of social inequality. Also, it is truly disrespectful and sim-­ ply uninformed to suggest, as the ar-­ ticle did, that no thought and work is put into constructive criticism. Too many organizations and in-­ GLYLGXDOV ORRN WR Ă€[ WKH V\PSWRPV and not the cause while completely enveloped in their privileges. This is the stance of +DOI WKH 6N\ and of The Ithacan’s reportage. If we cannot have D JHQXLQHO\ GLIĂ€FXOW GLDORJXH WKDW DG-­ dresses issues of privilege and subju-­ gation, we will continue to condone racism, sexism, classism, ableism, nativism, neocolonialism, agism and all other forms in which social in-­ equalities take root. ____________________________________ -RLQ WKH FRQYHUVDWLRQ RQ WKH IDFHERRN group: Intersectionali-­Tea TimeAction Group and on buzzsawmag.org.

Not Quite Ready

The pitfalls of graduating early By Ryan Butler

R

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

eady to enter a small, unstable choose whether to stay all four years job market? Ready to be out or graduate early, but I urge the class of school? Not quite. When I RI WR WKLQN DERXW WKH EHQHĂ€WV RI entered into my fall semester of my staying at Ithaca College for both se-­ senior year, I was expecting it to be mesters. my last semester. I had planned on Finances played a role in my de-­ making this my last cision making VHPHVWHU Ă€QLVKLQJ too, but in a way all my classes and many don’t often starting an intern-­ consider: in my ship in the spring. case, I would have Dec. 1 was the in-­ needed to take a ternship paperwork three credit winter deadline; the date to course and then have everything set a nine-­credit in-­ and to have a plan. ternship, all paid The deadline grew for out of pocket. closer and the job By staying a full search proved to time student next be harder than I semester, I could originally thought it take classes and would be. The Asso-­ cancel out all of ciated Press reported those out-­of-­pock-­ that one out of every et credits. I know two recent college that a big reason graduates is under-­ to graduate early Image courtesy of Ryan Butler employed or jobless. is student loans. This stress was making me doubt my No matter what I do I will be paying original choice to graduate early. I be-­ those off for quite a while. The New gan to realize the situation I was in: I York Times said that the average debt was at a liberal arts college in a No.1 for the graduates of 2011 was nearly college town, in my last year of what $27,000. Ouch. But even though an-­ is supposed to be the “best years of other semester will add to my loans, our lives.â€? Why would I want to rush it will also push off paying them just away from that? I began to realize I enough that I will hopefully have a have plenty of time to get a job and go starting income and savings to help to grad school. There is no reason to with the debt. And the classes I will rush into it. be taking next semester will make me There are around 1,800 students in more marketable and give me more the 2013 graduating class. Of those knowledge to help me land my future students, roughly 300 are graduating job — whatever that may be. in December. Finances are a primary I plan on attending graduate school reasoning for most students’ deci-­ for education. This plan helped to sion to graduate early. I understand shape my reasoning for postponing some people don’t have the luxury to graduation. For students who plan

14

on graduate school right after their undergrad years, consider how much you forget just over the three-­month summer break. Now, add in a whole spring semester of time spent away from an academic environment. The fall academic calendar starts eight months after December graduation and that is the soonest you can enter graduate school. Most articles I have read regard-­ ing early graduation have all had the same kind of message: cherish spending the full four years at your college. I have heard from many peo-­ ple who say they wish they could go back and “relive the old glory daysâ€? or redo their college years. If that is how I will feel in 10 or 20 years, then why would I rush out of this? It is a unique experience to be in such a so-­ cial setting where I am surrounded only by people my own age and I feel that I should take advantage of it. It seems like a silly thing to say I want to stay at college an extra semester for my friends, but it is a huge reason to want to stay. When it all comes down to it, I am simply not ready — not ready to be in the forever daunting “real worldâ€? and not ready to leave the situation I am in and enjoying. Having another semester will allow me to really em-­ brace the experiences I have had here and be ready to leave. I’m not “Ithaca College Readyâ€? yet, but give me an-­ other few months and I’ll be there. ____________________________________ 5\DQ %XWOHU LV D VHQLRU 2XWGRRU $G-­ venture Leadership major who is mak-­ LQJ WKH PRVW RXW RI KLV JORU\ GD\V (PDLO KLP DW UEXWOHU #LWKDFD HGX

News & Views

15

Buzzsaw Takes A Bite...

...of Ithaca’s food trucks By Francesca Toscano

The Hot Truck 635 Stewart Avenue

While approaching the Hot Truck late one night, I knew I had crossed enemy lines into Cornell territory. This truck is in every way a Cornell estab-­ lishment: located in the mid-­ dle of Cornell’s campus, it has provided drunken Ivy Leaguers with late night grub since 1960. While waiting in line, I discov-­ ered the secret language to or-­ dering their signature greasy subs: “run it through the gar-­ den” means “add lettuce”, “liq-­ uid heat” means “ add cayenne

pepper sauce” and “heavy” means “add garlic.” The sand-­ wiches were solid, particularly the “WGC,” a pizza sandwich on garlic bread — but compa-­ rable to other unhealthy op-­ tions in Ithaca. There is also a group of sandwiches entitled “The Suicides,” which I found slightly unsettling considering Cornell’s reputation. Although this truck may have a different VLJQLÀFDQFH WR GLHKDUG &RUQHO-­ lians, this reviewer was rela-­ tively unimpressed.

The Circus Truck 607 West Seneca Street

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

As a hardcore Italian, I take my pasta dishes very serious-­ ly. The Circus Truck features many food options, such as stellar breakfast burritos and sandwiches. They offer an ex-­ tensive variety of upscale grilled cheeses, which is music to the ears of this cheese-­and-­carb addict. However, the creative pasta specials are a standout. The dishes change daily: I en-­ joyed pappardelle with bacon, artichoke and fresh spinach in pistachio nut cream sauce with fresh habanero pepper. The pasta is locally sourced and homemade.

16

, LQGXOJHG LQ D ÀYH VWDU college dessert on a budget: grilled pina colada bread with grilled peaches and homemade whipped cream. The Circus Truck reveals their specials daily on their Facebook page, although, I doubt that any of their Ital-­ ian delicacies will disappoint! Whether seeking out a clas-­ sic cheesy sandwich concoc-­ tion or a one-­of-­a-­kind pasta masterpiece, The Circus Truck is any Ithacan’s go-­to spot.

The Good Truck 516 West State Street

The Good Truck, a seasonal truck, closed for the winter in late October. However, as it was P\ ÀUVW IRUD\ LQWR ,WKDFD·V IRRG truck scene, it needs to be men-­ tioned. The Good Truck, which will open again next spring, of-­ fers fantastic tacos and other Tex-­Mex delights with an Ithaca spin. For example, “the Local” with hot radish and aspara-­ gus with coleslaw, is classic Ithaca fare on a tortilla. “The El Camino,” their version of chicken molé, is a more refresh-­ ing twist on a classic. They de-­

scribe themselves as “locally driven tacos,” which not only cleverly notes their presence as a food truck, but also ac-­ cents their emphasis on lo-­ cal ingredients. Additionally, this food truck offers a small yet savvy variety of wines, which perfectly complement the fantastic tacos. The qual-­ ity ingredients and wonderful ÁDYRUV EOHZ PH DZD\ 7KH incredibly small portions and depressingly short season prevent me from giving them a perfect score.

Louie’s Lunch Corner of Thurston and Wait Louie’s Lunch, much like The Hot Truck, is designed to stuff the faces of Cornell students with carbs after a night of bad decisions. The fare is decidedly classic, with an extensive col-­ lection of milkshakes, burgers, sandwiches and fried delights. Louie’s Lunch also features breakfast sandwiches into the late hours of the night, which is a big draw for all-­day breakfast lovers such as myself. Although the options seem wholly un-­ healthy, there is a vegetarian

menu for those with dietary restrictions. The food was diner-­esque, but was height-­ ened by the fun Collegetown atmosphere. However, it lacks the history of The Hot Truck, making it the less charming of the two options. Still, if you’re spending an evening in the commercial Collegetown area, this is the most convenient food truck option.

Upfront

UPFRONT. UPFRONT. UPFRONT

17

Written in the Cosmos Is there a science behind our horoscopes? By Karen Muller

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fused with astronomy, the branch of science dealing with stars, plan-­ ets, and their motions, astrology is a mystical and far less mainstream area of study. However, both fields have closely linked histories, and early astronomers often offered as-­ trological predictions as well. But how do the motions of the stars have anything to do with the events that affect us personally here on Earth? According to Lin-­ da Ruth, a professional astrologer from downtown Ithaca, that rela-­ tionship is simpler and even closer than many people expect. “Astrology is an ancient system based on ‘as above, so below,’” Ruth said, referencing the central astrological belief that the move-­ ments of stars and planets can reflect personal experiences on Earth. “What everyone is not aware

of is that our bodies are made of stardust, and every planetary sys-­ tem has some planetary resonance within us. What I am trying to do is translate what the cosmic pic-­ ture is, meaning the position of the stars and planets at any given mo-­ ment and what that means to the individual psyche.” In terms of the “above,” Ruth’s work involves analyzing the con-­ stant motion of stars and planets compared to one another, as well as their relationships to the individu-­ al. She explains that each person is born under a very specific celes-­ tial alignment, which becomes the client’s “natal chart,” based on the exact time, date and location of the person’s birth. While this means that the circumstances of each in-­ dividual’s chart are fixed, she sees the chart’s predictions as more of

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

hen we have questions about our own lives, one solution is to look to the stars — or at least as far as the horoscope section in the newspa-­ per. Something about the night sky makes us look for deeper meaning, and through our culture’s consid-­ eration of shooting stars, constel-­ lation legends, and zodiac signs, stars have long been much more than tiny specks of light against the sky. The motions of both the planets in our solar system and the stars within it are calculated, inter -­ preted and connected to daily life on Earth through the controversial belief system known as astrology. While astrology is sometimes in-­ accurately referred to as a “New Age” art, it is actually an ancient practice, with some records dating back to 1645 BC. Not to be con-­

18

Image by Karissa Breuer

a jumping-­off point or set of pos-­ sibilities than a single defined fate. Some casual horoscope readers like the idea of not having total control over their fates. “I don’t actively seek my horo-­ scope, but when I see the word ‘Vir -­ go,’ I can’t help but check it out,” Ithaca College junior Emma Martin said. “I guess maybe a small part of me wants to believe there’s some validity, a bit of insight into the

advanced in hundreds of years, and hasn’t taken into account why peo-­ ple have the personalities that they do,” Thagard said. “Associations between different features and the signs of the zodiac don’t really map onto anything that’s been tested empirically.” Thagard explained that the relationships identified by astrology tend to be based on simi-­ larities, and these correlations do not offer evidence of a cause-­and-­

“What everyone is not aware of is that our bodies are made of stardust...” -Linda Ruth, professional astrologer

effect relationship. However, when many people read their horoscopes or receive other personal information from astrol-­ ogy, they do feel that it resonates with their own experiences or personalities. Thagard said this resonance is often mistaken for evidence of the merit of the astro-­ logical prediction, though it really has more to do with psychology and the way we tend to process such predictions. He names some of the reasons why people believe in astrological predictions. “One is that they aren’t aware of the alternatives — they don’t know anything about personality psy-­ chology. They don’t know that stars aren’t a very good explanation for aspects of their lives or that there are much better ones available. A lot of it, I think, is motivated inter -­ est, when you base conclusions not on facts, but on ways you’ve dis-­ torted the facts in accord with your goals,” Thagard said. In relation to astrology, motivat-­ ed interest is the human tendency to be more inclined to believe opti-­ mistic predictions, since the recipi-­ ent would naturally want that in-­

19

Upfront

month perhaps. The idea that fate is not in your own hands can be appealing.” However, Ruth explains that the stars don’t provide one clear -­cut prediction for any individual. “For any given configuration of planetary bodies, there is an in-­ finite number of ways that you’re going to interpret that,” Ruth said. “There’s a set of possibilities, and then there’s the observer, the per -­ sonal psyche that’s interpreting it, and either they’re aligning with it or they’re fighting with it. How you’re going to interpret your indi-­ vidual horoscope is your choice.” Still, as a mystical practice with minimal scientific support, many people are skeptical of astrology. It is commonly referred to as a pseu-­ doscience, meaning that there is no significant evidence supporting its predictions and methodology. Paul Thagard, Director of the Cognitive Science Program at the University of Waterloo in Canada, believes that modern astrology is misguided and used to explain patterns that would be better ex-­ plained by psychology. “Astrology is stagnant and hasn’t

formation to be true. Thagard also believes that looser predictions, which are open to more flexible interpretations, are more likely to resonate with the individual, dem-­ onstrating the psychological ten-­ dency known as “cognitive bias.” Overall, Thagard advises college students that astrological predic-­ tions are fit for entertainment pur -­ poses, but that taking them seri-­ ously is risky. “If your level of astrology is open-­ ing up the newspaper and chuck-­ ling at it, there’s no harm in chuck-­ ling, in being amused by it, treating it as a kind of game. [But] students face a lot of important decisions. You have to figure out what you want to major in, what you want to do after graduation, and people are often beginning relationships… If people are making life decisions by taking into account the horoscopes of themselves or other people, they’re working with something that’s completely unreliable and they easily could be hurting their lives.” Such a skeptical attitude is com-­ mon, perhaps even mainstream, among students — but for true believers of astrology, no form of empirical evidence is needed to validate the connection they feel with such predictions. Through her experiences with both clients and outsiders, Ruth frequently encoun-­ ters skeptics, and actually embrac-­ es their questioning attitudes. “I think most people would be skeptical until they’ve had the ex-­ perience,” Ruth said. “There are many people who … have some skepticism, and rather than having a long, philosophical debate about whether it should or shouldn’t work, I sit down with their charts and see if there’s anything mean-­ ingful … Hold onto your skepti-­ cism; it’s really intelligent to have skepticism until you have an expe-­ rience.” __________________________________ Karen Muller is a junior IMC ma-­ jor who accidentally registered for an astronomy course. Email her at kmuller1@ithaca.edu.

Eat Like the Astronauts

What to eat and how to prepare dinner in space By Kait Hulbert

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

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hen I think of astronauts HDWLQJ RQH RI WKH Ă€UVW LP-­ ages that come to mind may be of freeze-­dried ice cream. Most people have seen it at some point, ei-­ ther in a classroom or a museum gift shop; but it shouldn’t be surprising that NASA doesn’t send its top scien-­ tists into outer space with only a three-­ year supply of freeze-­dried Rocky Road. In fact, though space ice cream was developed per the request of an astro-­ naut, it’s not a popular choice among astronauts — or food scientists. According to “NASA Facts: Space Food,â€? the ideal space diet for an as-­ WURQDXW PXVW IXOĂ€OO IRXU UHTXLUHPHQWV each of equal importance. Each meal must be nutritious, easily portable and satisfying, and the diet as a whole must be varied, to prevent boredom. Unfortunately, ample Diet Coke sup-­ ply isn’t considered, though it clearly should be. But the hope is that the food developed is safe to eat, easy to prepare and safe to consume while in space. So while the limitations on the food choices might be lessening, the work that goes into preparing the food SUH Ă LJKW KDV JURZQ To ensure proper nutrition and sat-­ isfaction, NASA employs a team of food scientists whose sole purpose is to de-­ velop and produce a nutritious diet for astronauts while on a mission. Astro-­ nauts are brought to the Space Food Systems Laboratory at Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas, nearly nine months before departure and asked to sample potential food and drink choic-­ es. Taking into account these food preferences, individual meal plans are drawn up. Every meal and snack for every day of the mission is planned out in advance, with the hopes that doing so will circumvent possible food boredom. Possible menu items could include applesauce, funfetti cake, bean burritos and macaroni — or they would at least, if NASA made the mis-­ take of sending me into space. Forty years ago, food choices would have been limited to semi-­liquids and freeze-­dried powders, like space ice cream; but the evolution of technology has lead to a greater variety of prepa-­ ration methods, and thus a greater variety of food choices. In fact, there’s

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almost nothing that can’t be brought into space today. Food choices today include rehydratable, thermostabi-­ lized, irradiated and natural-­form items. Traditional rehydratable foods — like freeze-­dried ice cream — are made by removing the water from the food before takeoff. This was origi-­ nally done to conserve weight on the spaceship. The water is taken out of the food before it’s loaded onto the ship, and then rehydrated using water from fuel cells in space. It was an ef-­ fective way of packing food, but it was far from the most appetizing. Foods that can be prepared in rehydratable containers include soups, breakfast cereals, mac and cheese, shrimp cock-­ tail and scrambled eggs. Intermediate moisture foods are only partially dehy-­ drated and can be eaten without any preparation. These typically include usually dried foods, like dried fruits and beef jerky. “NASA Factsâ€? also mentions that foods that would typically need to be stored at a certain temperature must be thermostabilized to make it onto the spacecraft. This process involves treating the food with heat so it can be safely stored at room temperature, usually in a can or pouch. Beef tips and mushrooms, chicken a la king and other meals made with meat or Ă€VK DQG SURGXFH DUH XVXDOO\ SUHSDUHG using thermostabilization. Similarly, beef steak and smoked turkey can be irradiated to remove bacteria and pre-­ vent foodborne illness. Other irradiat-­ ed foods are being developed for use in the International Space Station. Pre-­packaged dried foods like grano-­ la bars, cookies and nuts can be stored under normal conditions and eaten without preparation, as can fresh foods like apples and bananas. Foods that need to be stored at a cool tem-­ perature but are otherwise ready-­to-­ eat like cream cheese and sour cream can be refrigerated on the spacecraft. Finally, to enhance the variety of foods available to the astronauts, foods like quiches, casseroles and chicken pot SLHV FDQ EH Ă DVK IUR]HQ 7KLV SUHYHQWV the buildup of large ice crystals, while maintaining the original texture and tastes. The combination of foods from all

Spending the Holidays in Space Food is a central part of most families’ holiday traditions, be it Christmas ham, pumpkin pie or eggnog. But how do astronauts celebrate the holidays when they’re separated from their families and hundreds of miles above the Earth? NASA’s “Holiday in Space� feature describes the holiday in space experience on the International Space Station and other similar missions. The ISS brings together many cultures, which creates a diverse holiday experience. Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Orthodox Christmas, Thanksgiving and the New Year might all be celebrated — sometimes by only one or two people. Keeping that in mind, NASA allows all crew members to individually decide whether or not they’d like any special holiday meals. If an astronaut would like to have a traditional American Thanksgiving meal, for example, that wouldn’t be a problem: smoked turkey, dehydrated mashed potatoes and thermostabilized cranberry sauce are on the list of acceptable menu choices. If a crewmember has a special food they’d like for a particular holiday and it isn’t on the regular menu, their families can send a bonus container into space with them. These foods aren’t on the menu, but can make it easier to be away from home during the holidays, so they’re allowed into space.

eight preparation types helps NASA’s food scientists develop a mentally and physically satisfying meal plan that meets the varied needs of the astro-­ nauts and the spacecraft. Not only does the greater variety of food allow for happier astronauts, it also allows for greater cross-­cultural communication. On international mis-­ sions and at the international space station, food choices can help estab-­ lish international identity and facili-­ tate learning. Additionally — especially with regards to holiday traditions — the foods selected by an astronaut can be an important tool to help combat homesickness. The days of eating dehydrated food out of aluminum foil are over. This might have something to do with an overarching fear that there wouldn’t be any American astronauts left if NASA didn’t leave an option for Big Macs in space. I know I certainly wouldn’t head into space without a lifetime supply of Diet Coke, white rice and Pad Thai on board, but then again, I’m also the very last person NASA should ever consider sending into space. ____________________________________ Kait Hulbert is a sophomore IMC major who would love to drink Diet Coke in space. Email her at khulber2@ithaca. edu.

Realms of Spirituality

Religious perceptions of the heavens and beyond By Miranda Materazzo

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´$OO WKHVH >VFLHQWLĂ€F@ QRWLRQV KDYH actually proved ... the intelligence of creation,â€? he said just before recount-­ ing an anecdote about a scientist who converted to Islam because he was so RYHUZKHOPHG E\ LWV VFLHQWLĂ€F DFFX-­ racy. While both the Imam and the Rabbi said that neither holy book makes di-­ rect references to aliens, angels and other non-­human beings are men-­ tioned almost constantly. Some believe that the gods of ancient civilizations were actually aliens, which would ex-­ plain why they were described as being

Image by Georgie Morley

half-­ani-­ mal, giant, or otherwise “otherworld-­ ly.â€? Askhooly noted that according to the Quran, “In the very vastness of the universe...there are things that He [God] created that you don’t know.â€? A June report from Britain’s Daily Mail indicates that over one third of Americans believe in aliens. Even in Buddhism, worlds away from Juda-­ ism and Islam in most aspects, there is talk of Heavenly Realms and “cos-­ micâ€? beings. Chris Accardo, practic-­ ing Vajrayana Buddhist and presi-­ dent of the Buddhist community at IC, attests that while most Buddhists believe that the Heavenly Realm and Hell are real, they exist on another

plane of the universe. “They’re not places you can walk to,â€? Accardo said. Half-­joking, he added, “If there are aliens, they’d probably be something like Buddhists.â€? But there is kernel of truth behind Accardo’s remark. In Buddhism, there is the theory that dharma (the teachings of the original Buddha) are actually universal phenomenon, not just an Earthbound one. There is even a whole branch of Buddhist study about the shape and evolution of the universe, even though Buddha re-­ fused to answer several questions the existence of the world in space and time. Since there is no sin-­ gle, omnipotent deity in the Buddhist faith, the origin of the uni-­ verse still remains shrouded in mys-­ tery to its follow-­ ers. The current Dalai Lama is fasci-­ nated by cosmology and physics, and has advocated for the collabo-­ ration of science and religion for 25 years. Accardo said that all Buddhists share a universal be-­ lief that time and the universe is cyclical. He rather ominously added that Buddhists believe the universe seems to be at the end of a cycle now. So, whether you believe the uni-­ verse is cyclical, ever-­expanding with no end and beginning, or think that WKH EDIĂ LQJ JUDQGQHVV RI LW DOO RQO\ proves the intelligence behind it, we may never know with any degree of certainty. While we may feel reas-­ surance from our spiritual leaders, it stands to reason that the inherent sense of human curiosity about our existence will remain. ____________________________________ Miranda Materazzo is a freshman jour-­ nalism major who is endlessly curious. Email her at mmatera1@ithaca.edu.

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Upfront

he human race has been wondering about its origins for thousands of years, and a large majority of people worldwide turn to religion for the answer. Most religions look to the heavens, citing an Almighty who, in some cases liter-­ ally and in some metaphorically, in-­ habits the stars. While Judaism has concepts of an afterlife that are similar to the notion of Heaven and Hell, on the question of whether they are physical places, Rabbi Scott Glass of Ithaca’s Temple Beth-­El said, “I’ve never been there, so I can’t tell you, and nobody has come back to report.â€? The belief that Hell is a physi-­ cal place began in ancient times, with evildoers being sent to rot in the underworld. In the 14th centu-­ ry, Dante Alighieri wrote of “Para-­ disoâ€? as being in space, with the “Nine Realms of Heavenâ€? encompassing most of the planets that were known then. While space exploration has made some doubt the existence of Heaven and Hell, it has made others look at the possibility of extraterrestrial life with more seriousness. “I have no reason to be-­ lieve it’s not possible that there’s life on other plan-­ ets, but to date I don’t see much proof,â€? Glass said. The Rabbi’s sentiments echo what most people, myself included, believe about “aliens.â€? And as for space exploration, which has captivated Americans for decades, “God blessed us with intel-­ ligence, then we should be using it.â€? The Quran, the primary religious text of Islam, makes several refer-­ ences to Heaven being a place with a gate, a place that you can enter. In the Quran, Hell is described as being fu-­ eled by “men and stones.â€? Imam Yaser Akhooly, of the Islamic Society of Central New York in Syra-­ FXVH VDLG WKDW 3DUDGLVH DQG +HOOĂ€UH “are existing somewhere that God knows.â€? $NKRRO\ VDLG PDQ\ UHFHQW VFLHQWLĂ€F discoveries have only made his belief in Islam that much more steadfast.

The Sagas of the Stars Delving into the narratives of constellations By Kaley Belval

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

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or thousands of years, stars were as far as I am aware.â€? a tool for storytellers. There were Stars were vital to many ancient practical uses for constellations, societies, helping create local legends including telling time, creating cal-­ and stories that were told for genera-­ endars and providing directions. Not WLRQV 6LQFH WKH VFLHQWLĂ€F UHDOL]DWLRQ only that, but the stars were utilized that stars were more important than as a way for just to help cre-­ an audience ate times and to visualize dates, they characters have been the and their subject of much i n t e r a c -­ more extensive tions. research as of Ian Rid-­ late. path has “The sky is studied a wilderness stars for area like any decades. such area on One of his Earth,â€? Ridpath books, Star said. “It should Tales, fo-­ be preserved cuses on by dark-­skies the mythol-­ legislation, to ogy sur-­ prevent light rounding pollution, and I c o n s t e l l a -­ think everyone tions. should be able One of to recognize the the stories main stars and featured in planets, just as Star Tales is we try to recog-­ that of Her-­ nize birds, trees acles, the DQG Ă RZHUV Âľ Greek name Stars did not for Hercu-­ only have an les. He was appeal to an-­ the son of cient societies, Zeus, one but also to both of the most medieval and prominent Native Ameri-­ Image by Jennifer Pike mythologi-­ can societies. cal heroes. Heracles accomplished Michael A. Ryan, an associate pro-­ twelve tasks in order to become free fessor of history at the University of from the king of Mycenae, Eurys-­ New Mexico, wrote A Kingdom of Star-­ theus. The constellation devoted to gazers, a book examining history in Heracles displays him kneeling dur-­ the Middle Ages in relation to stars. ing a battle. 6RPH KLVWRULFDO Ă€JXUHV VXFK DV While a lot of the stories featured medieval kings, had a large interest in were prominent in ancient Greece, stars’ meanings and how they applied they are not used in the same way to their culture and religion. across various cultures. “The stars hold an historic and uni-­ “I recently saw a presentation in versal appeal,â€? Ryan said. “Societies Norway about the myths of the lo-­ around the globe have always looked cal people,â€? Ridpath said. “Not sur-­ to the heavens for answers to all types prisingly, they envisioned a hunting of questions and people have relied scene with hunters tracking a giant upon the stars for medicine and mag-­ reindeer. For others, the belt of Ori-­ ic, for navigation and divination, for RQ UHSUHVHQWHG WKUHH Ă€VKHUPDQ DQG creation and inspiration.â€? WKH VZRUG ZDV D Ă€VK RQ D OLQH 6XFK According to Ryan, stars had a sig-­ myths were common in all societies, QLĂ€FDQW LPSDFW RQ WKH FXOWXUH FUHDWHG

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in the time and how they affected the future generations of their individual cultures. In terms of religion, he said stars had a large effect on the medi-­ eval cultural belief in divine creation. “A hallmark of modernity is the sig-­ QLĂ€FDQWO\ JUHDWHU QXPEHU RI LQGLYLGX-­ als who argue that the stars are to be studied rigorously, objectively and VFLHQWLĂ€FDOO\ Âľ 5\DQ VDLG ´%XW WKLV GL-­ vide between ‘science’ and ‘supersti-­ tion’ is a false one that fails to take in historical nuances.â€? Ray Williamson, author of Living the Sky: The Cosmos of the American Indian, has researched Native Ameri-­ FDQ FXOWXUH VSHFLĂ€FDOO\ 3XHEOR FXO-­ ture and their reliance on the sun and moon. He wrote that the stars and planets were all important to Native American culture, but the moon and sun became the most prominent as-­ pects. “For the Pueblo people, their focus was the sun, and still is,â€? Williamson said. “At least the stories that were collected by anthropologists [and] folklorists in the late 1800s early 1900s into the sort of 1950s or so are mainly about the sun and about rit-­ ual behavior, ceremonies and things like that that are related to the sun.â€? The moon and sun are especially im-­ portant to the Pueblo culture because religion cannot be distinguished from their individual lives. They are embed-­ ded in daily rituals that have existed for generations of Native Americans. “One of the reasons my book is titled Living the Sky is because it re-­ Ă HFWV WKH IDFW WKDW WKH 3XHEOR SHRSOH the Apaches, the Navajo and so forth all throughout the Southwest ... re-­ Ă HFW LQ WKHLU VRFLHWLHV WKH PRYHPHQWV of the moon, sun and stars,â€? William-­ son said. The moon, sun and stars have had large cultural importance around the world. Even today, they determine how stories have been told and are passed along to future generations. ____________________________________ Kaley Belval is a sophomore documen-­ tary studies major who likes the think every star has a story, and a personal-­ ity. Email her at kbelval1@ithaca.edu.

More Than A Telescope

Ithaca College’s Ford Observatory is a multi-faceted research tool By Abby Sophir

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lengths given out by objects in the sky. “It really is a telescope, just like the ones that you think about looking through the eyepiece, w e ’ r e just looking at the u n i -­ verse with a different set of eyes,â€? Price said. “It can see differ-­ ently.â€? Im ag e b Sophomore Ste-­ y A fan Gurgurich be-­ lex is came interested in re-­ La nz a search as a freshman when Briotta invited his students to meet at the observatory after class one day. By his second semester, Gur-­ gurich was already researching optics with Briotta. This year he began working with professor Price. “When a new professor starts a proj-­ ect, you hear about it through the grapevine and you just kind of want to jump into it,â€? Gurgurich said. Gurgurich is thinking of switch-­ ing his major from engineering to physics and pursuing astrophysics post graduation. He attributes this change in heart to the research ef-­ forts he has been a part of. “Before I was more concerned about getting in a job right after FROOHJH DQG WU\LQJ WR JHW P\VHOI Ă€-­ nancially stable,â€? Gurgurich said. “Since I’ve been doing research with professors, I’ve realized that I like doing that and I’d rather go to grad school and pursue academia for a while. It’s less about how much the job pays and more about knowing that I like the job.â€? Although the college does not offer as-­ tronomy majors or minors, many phys-­ ics professors are actively involved in WKH Ă€HOG 7KRXJK VRPH UHVHDUFK GRHV not utilize the observatory directly, it is a tool that has excited students about studying space. Associate Professor of Physics Beth El-­ len Clark Joseph is the mission asteroid scientist for NASA’s OSIRIS-­REx mis-­ sion, a spacecraft that will be launched in 2016 to rendezvous with an asteroid before returning to Earth in 2023. She is responsible for overseeing and integrat-­ LQJ WKH VFLHQFH WHDPV LQYROYHG ZLWK Ă€YH different instruments on the spacecraft. The purpose of the research is to better understand the risks posed by aster-­ oids. “One of the mission goals is to un-­ derstand what is the hazard potential of asteroids if they were on a collision

course,â€? Clark said. “For example, what are they made of, what would we have to do to mitigate the impacts.â€? While such formidable research may be hard for some people to grasp, Briotta sees the observatory as a tool for shar-­ ing the space experience with everyone. Once a month he opens the observatory up to the entire Ithaca community. During these Open House nights he offers a free shuttle to and from campus. “You want people to just look,â€? Briotta said. “As-­ tronomy is some-­ thing you catch from other peo-­ ple.â€? He said the p u b l i c nights typically attract a few hundred visitors but the profes-­ sors agree that every-­ one, even non-­physics majors, should come out. “ I think if you’ve never seen the moon through a telescope, you’ve missed out on one of the greatest, coolest thing you’ll have happen in your life. Pure and simply,â€? Price said. “I think all the pictures in every book and on the internet of Saturn are fantastic and EHDXWLIXO EXW ZKHQ \RX Ă€UVW VHH WKLV OLW-­ tle tiny dot and this little shape of a ring through a telescope, it changes the way you look at the world.â€? When deciding where to place the observatory Briotta had two options: a site out in Danby where the sky is dark and the view is clear or right on campus, where there is a lot of light from the city and college. He chose the latter in order to attract more visitors. “It’s good for your soul. You should know what’s out there. You should know what the universe is like,â€? Briotta said. “I think, if you get a good sense of the size and the scale of the universe, you have a much better perspective on our little piece of it.â€? _______________________________________ Abby Sophir is a junior TVR major who thought the observatory was a space-­ ship. Email her at gsophir1@ithaca.edu.

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Upfront

ander behind the Terrace residence halls, continue 100 yards past the water WDQN DQG \RX PD\ VRRQ Ă€QG \RXUVHOI DW the Clinton B. Ford Observatory looking at the rings of Saturn. Clinton B. Ford was an avid ama-­ teur astronomer who joined the Ithaca College Board of Trustees in the 60s. When he died in 1992, he left money to the physics department explicitly for astronomy. Associate Professor of Phys-­ ics Daniel Briotta, the only astronomer on faculty at the time, decided what the department needed most was an obser-­ vatory. “I thought we could use it for re-­ search, we could use it for outreach, and we could bring our astronomy classes up there and let them actually see the things we’re talking about,â€? Briotta said. Ford’s money was used to obtain a matching grant from the National Sci-­ ence Foundation for the purchase of a telescope and other necessary equip-­ ment. With support from the college, which donated land and labor for the project, the observatory was construct-­ ed during the summer of 1998. “First OLJKW Âľ WKH Ă€UVW WLPH ORRNLQJ DW WKH VN\ occurred in September. Ever since, the observatory has been used for research purposes and has provided students the opportunity for hands-­on learning. Briotta uses the telescope to track the rotational curves of asteroids and study ‘contact binary stars,’ two stars orbiting around each other so closely they actu-­ ally touch. He is currently working with Ă€YH VWXGHQWV RQ YDULRXV SURMHFWV VXFK as imaging and photometry, cleaning the projector from dust spots, and align-­ ing the mount and optics to achieve a sharper focus. “I think that students get a real lot out of it. It’s hands on,â€? Briotta said. “You go up there, you have to stay up all night, you measure this thing, you have to wait for good weather which in Ithaca can be very frustrating, you take the day to go in the lab and say ‘Look at what hap-­ pened here!’ You can actually see this stuff.â€? Also working in the observatory, As-­ sistant Professor of Physics Matthew Price and a couple of students are hop-­ ing to install a radio telescope at the observatory. The radio telescope is es-­ sentially a large satellite dish pointed toward the sky, but instead of picking up a TV signal it picks up on radio wave-­

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BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

A Star By Any Other Name

The commercialization of space through the personalization of stars By Jessica Corbett

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Upfront

hen Robin Meyers, a friend of the Framarini family, died from cancer in the spring of 2007, the family purchased a star in her name. Sophomore Marissa Framarini’s father, Louis, said that in the past, LMW JEQMP] LEW KMZIR ¾S[IVW IHMFPI EVVERKIQIRXW ERH HSREXMSRW [LIR JVMIRHW LEZI HMIH FYX JSV XLI 1I]IVW XLI] [IVI PSSOMRK XS HS WSQIXLMRK HMJJIVIRX ,MW [MJI HMWGSZIVIH E [IFWMXI XLEX WSPH WXEV REQIW ERH XLI] TEMH EFSYX JSV E GIVXM½GEXI XLI] VIGIMZIH MR XLI QEMP [LMGL XLI] KEZI XS Robin’s husband, James.

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

The Framarinis named Robin’s star through the International Star Regis-­ try, one of many companies that charg-­ es customers to name stars. While the informational pages on these company ZHEVLWHV H[SODLQ WKDW WKH VFLHQWLĂ€F community will not recognize names bought through these companies, some customers, like Framarini, do not realize that astronomers won’t ever use purchased star names. Even though at the time he did not realize astronomers would never use the name, Framarini said he would have gone through the process either way because it made James happy. “He called me up and was real thank-­ ful,â€? Framarini said. Mr. Meyers has since died, but he spent some time in his last few years gazing up at the stars. “He was just happy when he looked up at the sky and he thought there was a star named after his wife,â€? Framarini said. Naming a star after someone is often seen as a thoughtful gesture, but the practice has garnered criticism from many astronomers and the Interna-­ tional Astronomical Union, the orga-­ nization responsible for naming stars and other celestial bodies. The IAU disassociates itself with companies that sell star names and describes it as a money-­making ploy in a Q&A section on its website: Q: But if I want to, can I buy the name of a star anyway? A: Sure, there are people who will be more than happy to take your money.... Q: Can you tell me who and where? $ 6RUU\ ZH DUH D VFLHQWLĂ€F RUJDQL-­ zation, not a branch of the entertain-­ ment industry. We cannot distribute DGGUHVVHV RI HQWHUSULVHV VHOOLQJ Ă€FWL-­ tious goods. Q: OK, I found a dealer myself; what will I get from them? A: An expensive piece of paper and a temporary feeling of happiness, like if you take a cup of tea instead of the Doctor’s recommended medicine. But at least you do not risk getting sick by paying for a star name, only losing money. Besides disapproval, the IAU also offers an explanation of the actual star nam-­ ing process. Rather than being sold, star names are assigned based on interna-­ tionally accepted rules. Other than a few ancient stars that have traditional names, PRVW RI ZKLFK DUH $UDELF IRU VFLHQWLĂ€F purposes stars are assigned catalog num-­ bers.

26

Terry Herter, Chairman of the De-­ partment of Astronomy at Cornell Uni-­ versity, said that because there are so many catalogs, in many cases there are various catalog number assigned to in-­ dividual stars. Herter said astronomers select catalogs based on what subject they are studying or what information they need. Astronomy students and professors at Cornell frequently use the Hipparcos Catalog, which has been around for almost two decades. Johann Bayer introduced the earli-­ est naming system in 1603, which was a star catalog that categorized stars by constellations and assigned Greek let-­ ters to individual stars. Other popular catalogs include the New General Cat-­ alogue, the Bright Star Catalogue and the Smithsonian Astrophysical Obser-­ vatory. Even the star naming company Name a Star uses the Smithsonian As-­ trophysical Observatory catalog when selling and assigning names to stars. On June 30, 1988, the International Planetarium Society released a state-­ ment about naming stars. The statement said: “The star names recognized and used by scientists are those that have been published by as-­ WURQRPHUV DW FUHGLEOH VFLHQWLĂ€F LQVWLWX-­ tions. The International Astronomical Union, the worldwide federation of as-­ tronomical societies, accepts and uses only those names. Such names are never sold.â€? Like the IAU, the IPS warns potential star buyers: “Be aware that no one can buy immortality for anyone in the form of a star name.â€? Because stars cannot be bought, sold or owned by anyone, the companies do not have any rights over what the star is named. Only the company that sells the star will recognize the star name. Usually the company will publish a booklet or online registry that lists ev-­ ery purchased star name, which can be bought for an additional fee. While some question if the practice of selling stars should even be legal, Rocky Mosele, vice president of mar-­ keting and advertising at ISR, told Wired magazine in 2001: “We’ve been given a clean bill of health by the at-­ WRUQH\ JHQHUDO RI ,OOLQRLV ÂŤ 7KH\ Ă€QG no problem with what we do; we’re not trying to mislead people.â€? However, the ISR has threatened le-­ gal action against critics in the past. As the Wired article noted, ISR threatened to sue a student at Ohio Wesleyan Uni-­ versity in 2000 because the student was hosting a Web page criticizing the practice. The threat of a lawsuit caused

the university to take down the page. On the ISR homepage, the com-­ SDQ\ FODLPV WKDW WKHLU OLVW RI VDWLVĂ€HG customers range from celebrities to dignitaries to individuals worldwide. However, there is no mention that the SURFHVV LVQ¡W RIĂ€FLDOO\ UHFRJQL]HG E\ WKH astronomers, which is one of the major critiques made by members of the sci-­ HQWLĂ€F FRPPXQLW\ “Why, after the astronomy commu-­ nity has been so nasty to us, should I do them any favors?â€? Mosele said to Wired. “They’re requesting some-­ thing of me. Why should I do it based on their request after they’ve been so nasty? I don’t think our customers are confused.â€? Curious about the controversy sur-­ rounding the star naming process, sophomore David Owens recently pur-­ chased a star through StarNamer.org. +H Ă€OOHG RXW WKH RQOLQH RUGHU IRUP VH-­ lecting the least expensive package at $14.95. Owens entered his star name, dedication date, email address and credit card information; he then hit submit. A box popped up on his computer screen, claiming the order had gone WKURXJK DQG KLV FHUWLĂ€FDWH RI UHJLVWU\ would be emailed in the next ten min-­ utes. Ten minutes passed. There was no email and no charge on his credit card. He repeated the process. After two failed attempts, Owens called Star Namer to inquire about his order. The man on the phone said he had no way to verify if the order had gone through and suggested that Ow-­ HQV Ă€OO RXW WKH ´&RQWDFW 8VÂľ IRUP RQ the website. Instead, Owens waited a few hours and tried the process one last time. This time it worked. Rather than a pop up window, he was directed to a FRQĂ€UPDWLRQ SDJH 0RPHQWV ODWHU KLV credit card was charged and he re-­ FHLYHG KLV 3') FHUWLĂ€FDWH YLD HPDLO There is a column of six photos of outer space along the left side of his FHUWLĂ€FDWH ZKLFK LQFOXGHV WKH VWDU name, dedication date and coordinates of his star in calligraphy font. How-­ ever, when Owens typed his supposed star coordinates into three or four star maps online, he was unable to locate his star, which he named “The Star of David.â€? “It was a very low price to have your name immortalized as a star,â€? Owens said. “I am very excited about this, de-­ spite the fact that it’s not real.â€? While Owens purchased his star QDPH NQRZLQJ WKDW WKH VFLHQWLĂ€F FRP-­

Customers can purchase and down-­ load the Name a Star PDF Record Book for $14.95. Cort Vaughan, director of sales at Name a Star, described star naming as “a novelty gift business.â€? In response to criticism from the VFLHQWLĂ€F FRPPXQLW\ 9DXJKDQ VDLG “We’re not upfront about the nature of our business ‌ This is an honest com-­ pany providing a fun product.â€? The About Us and FAQ sections on the company website explain that while Name a Star uses real stars list-­ ed in the Smithsonian catalog and only names each star once, there is nothing VFLHQWLĂ€F DERXW WKH SURFHVV ´:H¡UH QRW D VFLHQWLĂ€F ERG\ DQG ZH don’t claim to be one,â€? Vaughan said. For customers who don’t read the Ă€QH SULQW DQG DUH XSVHW WR GLVFRYHU WKDW WKH VFLHQWLĂ€F FRPPXQLW\ GRHV QRW recognize purchased star names, Name a Star offers a money back guarantee, though Vaughan said refund requests are rare. In the days before Internet the com-­ pany advertised in magazines and ac-­ cepted mail-­in orders. Now, many or-­ ders are placed via telephone or online. Vaughan said the company grew VLJQLĂ€FDQWO\ GXULQJ WKH Ă€UVW IHZ \HDUV of Internet commerce, but business KDV OHYHOHG RII D ELW ZLWK WKH LQĂ X[ RI copycat sites because the idea of star

naming cannot be patented or trade-­ marked. A simple Google search re-­ veals dozens of sites from all over the world that offer star naming packages. While the Internet has increased com-­ petition among the companies, the popularity of the practice doesn’t seem to be fading. However, neither does the controversy. For Framarini, the price of nam-­ ing a star in memory of Robin Mey-­ ers was worth his friend’s happiness. While Name a Star and other star naming companies maintain that they are upfront with their customers, the commercial practice of star naming continues to receive criticism from the VFLHQWLĂ€F FRPPXQLW\ DQG RWKHUV OLNH Owens, who are familiar it. “The question is whether it’s better for people to feel good about them-­ selves or actually know the truth,â€? Owens said. “So it can feel really good to go buy a star for a lost loved one or something and think that they have this place in the universe forever, but in reality it’s probably better to realize the only thing you’re doing is lining the pockets of this website.â€? _____________________________________ Jessica Corbett is a sophomore journal-­ ism major who would name her star “Fluffyâ€?. Email her at jcorbet2@ithaca. edu.

27

Upfront

munity would never use his name, many customers, like the Framarini family, are unaware the process isn’t DV RIĂ€FLDO DV WKH FOHYHU RQOLQH PDUNHW-­ ing has led them to believe. Owens said he found Star Namer to be misleading, since “there was no overt indication that it was not legiti-­ mate.â€? His motivation for the purchase was simply curiosity. “I don’t see any sense in it. I’m paying for someone to PDNH D FHUWLĂ€FDWH WKDW , FRXOG PDNH myself,â€? he said. Star Namer is a more recent version of star naming companies that have been around since the late seventies. The ISR, which the Framarinis used, started selling star names in 1979. Star Kits start at $54, which includes a FHUWLĂ€FDWH ZLWK WKH GHVLUHG VWDU QDPH dedication date and telescopic coordi-­ nates, and a sky chart with the loca-­ tion of the star circled in red. Deluxe and Ultimate kits include frames for the documents and cost over $100. Name a Star, which has been operat-­ ing since 1978, markets itself as “The original star naming service.â€? Name a Star offers both emailed PDF and 3ULQWHG &HUWLĂ€FDWH 3DFNDJHV VWDUWLQJ at around $30. In addition to the star packages, which can cost up to around $100, Name a Star publishes and pe-­ riodically updates a list of all the stars ever named through the company.

28

OL. MINISTRYofCOOL. MI

BUZZSAW: The Language Issue

Down to Earth

Rod Serling’s legacy at Ithaca and beyond Images from C. Hadley Smith Photograph Collection

By Carly Sitzer

I

was giving a tour of the Park School to prospective students on one particularly crowded Mon-­ day in October when I found myself paused in front of the case displaying Ă€YH RI 5RG 6HUOLQJ¡V (PP\ $ZDUGV ´7KHVH DUH DFWXDOO\ UHDO (PP\V ZRQ E\ 5RG 6HUOLQJ Âľ , VDLG DV SDU-­ HQWV FOHDUO\ LPSUHVVHG QRGGHG DQG smiled with approval and the high VFKRRO VWXGHQWV VWDUHG EODQNO\ DW PH “He was the creator of The Twilight =RQH +H ZDV D YLVLWLQJ LQVWUXFWRU LQ the 70s and an esteemed member of WKH ,WKDFD FRPPXQLW\ Âľ $W WKH VRXQG RI WKH ZRUGV 7KH 7ZL-­ OLJKW =RQH Âł WKH\ JRW LW (YHQ WKHVH SHRSOH LQ WKHLU WHHQV NQHZ WKH VKRZ WKH LFRQLF PXVLF WKH OHJHQGDU\ HSL-­ VRGHV WKH IHHOLQJ RI \RXU VWRPDFK dropping — the feeling that can only EH PLPLFNHG RQ WKH 7RZHU RI 7HUURU But none of them even knew the man WKDW PDGH DOO RI WKDW KDSSHQ 7R EH IDLU QHLWKHU GLG , 7KH Ă€UVW HSLVRGH RI 7KH 7ZLOLJKW =RQH WKDW , HYHU VDZ ZDV ´7LPH (QRXJK DW /DVW Âľ DQG LW ZDV VFDU\ HQRXJK WR scare me away from the series for a ORQJ WLPH 7KH HSLVRGH LV DERXW 0U +HQU\ %HPLV D EDQNHU ZKR ORYHG

books but was constantly denied the SOHDVXUH RI UHDGLQJ E\ KLV ERVV :H VHH KLP VQHDN LQWR WKH EDQN¡V YDXOW where he is the sole survivor the apoc-­ DO\SVH XQIRUWXQDWHO\ IRU %HPLV MXVW DV KH Ă€QDOO\ KDV WKH WLPH DQG IUHH-­ GRP WR HQMR\ KLV EHORYHG ERRNV KLV UHDGLQJ JODVVHV EUHDN :KLOH LQLWLDOO\ LW VHHPHG DSSURSUL-­ ate to write The Twilight Zone in an is-­ sue dedicated to outer space and the JUHDW EH\RQG EXW ZKDW ´7LPH (QRXJK

Ministry of Cool

$W /DVWÂľ UHYHDOV LV WKDW WKLV LV D VKRZ WKDW¡V PRUH DERXW DOLHQDWLRQ WKDQ LW LV DERXW DOLHQV 7KH VHULHV Âł DQG PRUH LPSRUWDQWO\ WKH PDQ EHKLQG LW Âł , GLVFRYHUHG WKDW LW GLGQ¡W MXVW SURYLGH D lens into the world of the supernatu-­ UDO EXW UDWKHU D PLUURU RI KXPDQLW\ *** ,Q RQH RI KLV Ă€QDO LQWHUYLHZV before his death at 51 years old in 5RG 6HUOLQJ ZHQW RQ WKH UHFRUG DV VD\LQJ WKDW KH GLGQ¡W WKLQN KLV ZULW-­ LQJ ZRXOG VWDQG WKH WHVW RI WLPH %XW VLQFH 7KH 7ZLOLJKW =RQH¡V SUHPLHUH WKH VKRZ KDV LQVSLUHG D ULGH DW IRXU 'LVQH\ SDUNV DQRWKHU VHULHV D Ă€OP E\ 6WHYHQ 6SLHOEHUJ DQG DQRWKHU LQ WDONV ZLWK /HRQDUGR 'L&DSULR DV ZHOO DV WZR VSRWV RQ 79 *XLGH¡V *UHDWHVW (SLVRGH RI $OO 7LPH DQG D SR-­ sition on their list of the 50 Greatest 79 6KRZV RI $OO 7LPH $V 6WHSKHQ 7URSLDQR FRPPLWWHH PHPEHU RI WKH 5RG 6HUOLQJ &RQIHU-­ ence explained the reason these sto-­ ULHV KDYH VWRRG WKH WHVW RI WLPH HYHQ LQ WKH DJH RI &*, DQG VSHFLDO HIIHFWV is because of the power of the stories KH WROG “Serling was a master storyteller and no matter how fantastical his sto-­ ULHV ZHUH WKH\ ZHUH DOZD\V JURXQGHG LQ UHDOLW\ Âľ 7URSLDQR VDLG ´, WKLQN WKH themes that The Twilight Zone epi-­ sodes address are very humanistic DQG XQLYHUVDO /LNH PRVW SURJUDPV LQ WKLV JHQUH WKH\ DUH QHYHU RXWGDWHG

3KRWR FRXUWHV\ RI &ROOHHQ :RUPVOH\

29

Images from C. Hadley Smith Photograph Collection

BUZZSAW: The Language Issue

because they are still very relevant to-­ GD\ Âľ ,W¡V WKH FROOHFWLYH WKHPHV RI KXPDQ-­ ity that united original fans of The Twilight Zone with the people who of WRGD\ ZKR DUH HQMR\LQJ WKH VHULHV RQ 1HWĂ L[ $ WKHPH WKDW 'LDQH *D\HVNL GHDQ RI WKH 3DUN 6FKRRO RI &RPPXQL-­ FDWLRQV DQG IRUPHU VWXGHQW RI 6HUOLQJ H[SODLQHG ZRXOGQ¡W H[LVW LQ WKH ´Ă€IWK GLPHQVLRQÂľ ZLWKRXW 6HUOLQJ¡V GHGLFD-­ WLRQ WR KLV IHOORZ PDQ ´+H¡V D JX\ ZKR XQGHUVWRRG KXPDQ QDWXUH VRUW RI WKH KRSHIXO SDUW EXW DOVR WKH GDUN VLGH RI LW Âľ VKH VDLG ´$QG he was able to bring that out in ways WKDW UHDOO\ EURXJKW \RX LQ $QG LQ WKH GD\V WKDW KH ZURWH \RX FRXOGQ¡W UH-­ DOO\ WDON DERXW UDFLDO SUHMXGLFH ULJKW RXW VR \RX FDQ GR VRPHWKLQJ DERXW LW in some different time or some differ-­ HQW SODQHW VR \RX JHW VXFNHG LQ DQG ORRN LW DQG EHIRUH \RX NQRZ LW \RX¡UH having an insight on what your own IHHOLQJV ZHUH Âľ In an autobiographical essay writ-­ WHQ LQ 6HUOLQJ ZURWH WKDW ´7KH TV writer is never trained to be a TV ZULWHU 7KHUH DUH QR FRXUVHV KRZHYHU VSHFLDOL]HG DQG DSSOLHG WKDW ZLOO FDWD-­ SXOW KLP LQWR WKH SURIHVVLRQ Âľ 6R LW¡V RQO\ QDWXUDO ZKHQ KH FDPH WR ,WKDFD KH WDXJKW WR WKH VWXGHQWV EXW UDWKHU it was a willingness to think critically RI WKH ZRUOG “Most of what he talked about was about what he thought the responsi-­ bility of the media was to make a dif-­ IHUHQFH Âľ *D\HVNL VDLG ´+H QHYHU WDON-­ ed really about the technical aspects RI WKLQJV , PHDQ RQFH LQ D ZKLOHÂŤ EXW

30

WKDW ZDV FOHDUO\ QRW KLV LQWHUHVW KH was a writer and he taught us mostly about that—how to tell a story and ZKDW VWRULHV ZH VKRXOG WHOO Âľ “The strength of the stories them-­ VHOYHV LW FHUWDLQO\ ZDVQ¡W WKH VSHFLDO effects or the color especially because WKH\ ZHUH LQ EODFN DQG ZKLWH LW ZDVQ¡W DQ\ RI WKH EHOOV RU ZKLVWOHV LW ZDV WKH UDZ VWRU\ Âľ $QG\ 2UJHO D IRUPHU VWX-­ GHQW RI 6HUOLQJ VDLG ´+H WDFNOHG VXE-­ MHFWV DQG GLG WKHP LQ D FUHDWLYH ZD\ OLNH QR RQH KDG HYHU GRQH EHIRUH +LV VWRULHV MXVW PDGH \RX WKLQN VR PXFK about parts of your life and how you look at things and getting you to think about every day things but in a differ-­ HQW ZD\ Âľ Beyond the strengths of the stories KH WROG 6HUOLQJ KDG JUHDW VXFFHVV LQ WKH ZD\ WKDW KH WROG 2QH RI WKH VWURQ-­ gest skills that he used in telling sto-­ ries was creating characters that were UHODWDEOH :KLOH WKH DYHUDJH YLHZHU may not be “traveling through anoth-­ HU GLPHQVLRQÂľ LQWR WKH WZLOLJKW ]RQH he constantly portrayed characters WKDW ZHUH DYHUDJH SHRSOH Âł EDQNHUV WHDFKHUV GRFWRUV Âł ZKR FDPH DFURVV an unusual circumstance; they were characters that made it easy for char-­ DFWHUV WR UHODWH WR :KHQ %ULGJHW %RZHU ,WKDFD &RO-­ OHJH DUFKLYLVW LQ FKDUJH RI WKH 5RG 6HUOLQJ $UFKLYHV ZDV DVNHG ZKDW KHU IDYRULWH 7ZLOLJKW =RQH HSLVRGH ZDV WKH LQĂ XHQFH RI UHODWDEOH FKDUDFWHUV ZDV HYLGHQW “I am a big fan of ‘The Obsolete 0DQ ¡¾ VKH VDLG VPLOLQJ ´%HFDXVH WKH REVROHWH PDQ ZDV D OLEUDULDQ ÂŤ DQG KH ZRQ Âľ

$QRWKHU WHFKQLTXH WKDW ZLOO IRUHYHU EH DVVRFLDWHG ZLWK 6HUOLQJ¡V VWRU\-­ telling legacy was his ability to use WKH VXUSULVH HQGLQJ (ULF *ULIĂ€WK H[-­ plained that Serling was the “master RI WKH WZLVW HQGLQJ Âľ DQG WKDW WKLV ZDV DQRWKHU LQQRYDWLYH WHFKQLTXH to express the values in the stories he wanted to tell and the morals he ZDQWHG WR H[SUHVV ´6FDULQJ SHRSOH LV IDQWDVWLF Âľ *ULIĂ€WK VDLG ´$QG LI \RX FDQ VFDUH people and then still change the story at the very end and force everyone to go back and look at the whole story DQG KRZ LW ZRUNHG WKDW¡V UHDOO\ ZKDW I think a lot of writers would love to EH DEOH WR SXOO RII $ VWUDLJKW IRUZDUG HQGLQJ LV JUHDW EXW LI \RX FRXOG GR D WZLVW HQGLQJ DQG EH VXFFHVVIXO DW LW you have really accomplished some-­ WKLQJ Âľ Despite these innovative contribu-­ tions that are celebrated at Ithaca &ROOHJH WKDW LVQ¡W ZKDW LV FHOHEUDWHG ZLWK WKH 5RG 6HUOLQJ &RQIHUHQFH DQG WKH 5RG 6HUOLQJ FROOHFWLRQV %XW UDWK-­ HU LW¡V WKH PDQ EHKLQG LW DOO WKH PDQ that Orgel said knew the students E\ QDPH WKH PDQ WKDW DFFRUGLQJ WR *D\HVNL ZDV ZLOOLQJ WR SDUWLFLSDWH LQ DQ\ VWXGHQW SURMHFW WKH PDQ WKDW %RZHU H[SODLQHG SLFNHG XS VWXGHQWV RQ KLV ZD\ WR FDPSXV $ PDQ WKDW GLGQ¡W MXVW EULQJ YLHZHUV RQ ´D MRXUQH\ LQWR D ZRQGURXV ODQG whose boundaries are that of imagi-­ QDWLRQ Âľ +H PDGH WKLV ZRQGURXV ODQG a reality by taking risks and address-­ ing these ethical issues and telling the stories that most people at the time ZHUH WRR DIUDLG WR $QG HYHQ LI \RX KDYHQ¡W PDGH LW WR WKH OLEUDU\ DUFKLYHV RU PLVVHG WKH ODVW FRQIHUHQFH WKHUH¡V RQH SODFH \RX FDQ DOZD\V IHHO 6HUOLQJ¡V OHJDF\ DW ,WKDFD Âł HYHQ LI LW¡V FRPLQJ IURP DQRWKHU GL-­ PHQVLRQ ´$QG OLNH , VD\ KH KDV P\ EDFN Âľ *D\HVNL VDLG ´7KH Ă€UVW WKLQJ , IRXQG ZKHQ , PRYHG LQWR P\ RIĂ€FH , IRXQG an old photo of him in an old black and white camera in a studio and I SXW WKDW ULJKW RYHU P\ EDFN KH NLQG RI ORRNV RYHU PH , VD\ JRRG PRUQLQJ WR KLP HYHU\ GD\ DQG , UHDOO\ IHHO OLNH KH¡V WKHUH , IHHO OLNH KH¡V LQ P\ RIĂ€FH ZLWK PH Âľ ____________________________________ Carly Sitzer is a senior journalism ma-­ jor who feels like she’s stepping into the twilight zone whenever she steps outside the BuzzCave. Email her at csitzer1@ithaca.edu.

Switching Over to the Dark Side 3RI JER´W XEOI SR (MWRI]´W %GUYMWMXMSR SJ 0YGEW½PQW

By Jared Corwin

I

t is human nature to fear the XQNQRZQ :H VHHN FRPIRUW LQ the familiar and often harbor UHVHQWPHQW WRZDUGV FKDQJH %XW FKDQJH FDQ EH D JRRG WKLQJ :LWK change comes an overflow of new LGHDV IHHOLQJV DQG FRQFHSWV 7KHUH DUH KRZHYHU FHUWDLQ WKLQJV LQ WKLV ZRUOG WKDW DUH MXVW QRW PHDQW to change; I believe the Star Wars IUDQFKLVH EHORQJV LQ WKLV FDWHJRU\ $V RI 2FWREHU *HRUJH /XFDV VROG /XFDVILOPV WR :DOW 'LVQH\ 6WXGLRV IRU ELOOLRQ Lucasfilms is the production company responsible for the entire Star Wars IUDQFKLVH 7KURXJK WKLV GHDO 'LVQH\ DFTXLUHG WKH ULJKWV to produce any and all Star Wars YLGHR JDPHV FDUWRRQV FRPLFV action figures and movies from here RQ RXW ZLWK *HRUJH /XFDV VHUYLQJ as creative consultant on the next WKUHH ILOPV Disney now owns and controls all of the technologies previously RZQHG E\ /XFDVILOPV LQFOXGLQJ LWV subsidiaries: Industrial Light and 0DJLF 6N\ZDONHU 6RXQG /XFDVDUWV DQG /XFDVILOP $QLPDWLRQV ´,W·V QRZ WLPH IRU PH WR SDVV Star Wars on to a new

JHQHUDWLRQ RI ILOPPDNHUV µ *HRUJH Lucas wrote in a press release explaining his decision to sell WKH IUDQFKLVH DQG KLV FRPSDQ\ ´,·YH DOZD\V EHOLHYHG WKDW Star Wars FRXOG OLYH EH\RQG PH DQG , thought it was important to set up WKH WUDQVLWLRQ GXULQJ P\ OLIHWLPH µ :KLOH 'LVQH\ KDV FHUWDLQO\ earned its reputation as the producers of visually stunning ILOPV LW·V WKHLU PRQRSROL]DWLRQ RI the fantasy genre that makes this WUDQVDFWLRQ MXVW QRW VLW ULJKW ZLWK PH , IHDU WKDW 'LVQH\ ZLOO WU\ WR market the franchise too much as D ´VSDFH IDQWDV\µ UDWKHU WKDQ WKH URPDQWLFL]HG ´VSDFH RSHUDµ WKDW LW ZDV LQWHQGHG WR EH :KLOH Star Wars shares some archetypal aspects ZLWK WKH IDQWDV\ JHQUH LQFOXGLQJ SULQFHVVHV ORUGV DQG NQLJKWV LW does not share the same elements RI PDJLF WKDW 'LVQH\ LV NQRZQ IRU So what does this mean for the future of Star Wars? Is Princess Leia now a Disney princess? :LOO &KHZEDFFD EH VLQJLQJ DERXW VKDULQJ ZLWK WKH (ZRNV on Playhouse Disney? So many TXHVWLRQV DUH UDLVHG DQG WKHUH LV QR WUXH ZD\ RI SUHGLFWLQJ WKH IXWXUH ,W DOUHDG\ ORRNV EOHDN 2Q 'LVQH\ :RUOG·V ZHEVLWH IRU H[DPSOH WKH\ DUH DGYHUWLVLQJ IDEXORXV ´6WDU :DUV :HHNHQGV µ DW ZKLFK FXVWRPHUV FDQ HQMR\ ´+\SHUVSDFH +RRSODK µ 7KH GHVFULSWLRQ of Hyperspace

Ministry of Cool

+RRSODK LV DV IROORZV ´$W WKH HQG RI HDFK GD\ OHW ORRVH ZLWK PXVLF FRPHG\ DQG GDQFLQJ DW WKH +\SHUVSDFH +RRSOD :LWK VR PDQ\ (ZRNV :RRNLHHV VWRUPWURRSHUV -DZDV DQG RWKHUZRUOGO\ FUHDWXUHV young Jedi and their parents would be wise to have their cameras UHDG\ µ 2QFH DJDLQ Star Wars is a URPDQWLFL]HG VFLHQFH ILFWLRQ RU ´VSDFH RSHUD µ DERXW LQWHUSODQHWDU\ ZDUIDUH ,W LV QRW D IXQ ILOOHG IDQWDV\ ZLWK PXVLF DQG WDONLQJ DQLPDOV $OUHDG\ 7KH :DOW 'LVQH\ &RPSDQ\ is trying to appeal the Star Wars franchise to younger and more IDPLO\ RULHQWHG PDUNHWV *UDQWHG LucasFilms has been marketing the film series to kids since the release RI WKH ILUVW ILOP EXW QRZ WKDW George Lucas has resigned much RI KLV FRQWURO RYHU KLV EUDLQFKLOG meaning the future of the series OD\V LQ WKH KDQGV RI 'LVQH\ /LNH Winnie the Pooh and The Chronicles of Narnia VHULHV EHIRUH LW Star Wars LV QRZ MXVW DQRWKHU HOHPHQW RI WKH :DOW 'LVQH\ FRQJORPHUDWH Many argue that they are not WRR VXUSULVHG E\ WKLV PRYH DV George Lucas has been over -­ commercializing his franchise from WKH YHU\ EHJLQQLQJ /HW XV QRW forget the 1978 made-­for -­television DERPLQDWLRQ ´7KH 6WDU :DUV +ROLGD\ 6SHFLDO µ :KLOH ZH FDQ UHPDLQ F\QLFDO about the future of Star Wars there LV VWLOO VRPH URRP IRU RSWLPLVP $IWHU DOO 'LVQH\ PDQDJHG WR produce and release the new Avengers movie without overly 'LVQH\I\LQJ WKH SURMHFW *UDQWHG ZH·YH QHYHU VHHQ 'LVQH\ KDQGOH D VFLHQFH ILFWLRQ RI WKLV PDJQLWXGH but we can only hope that producer Kathleen Kennedy will maintain the same intergalactic charm carried RXW LQ WKH ILUVW WKUHH PRYLHV __________________________________ Jared Corwin is a junior TVR major who has attended 14 6WDU :DUV conventions in his lifetime. Email him at jcorwin1@ithaca.edu.

Image by Clara Goldman

31

Black Hole is the New Black A guide to styling intergalactic fashion By Robyn Schmitz

T

g a l a c t i c clothing and accessories — from bras and leggings to VNLUWV DQG VRFNV &HOHVWLDO ULQJV necklaces and earrings are also becoming more SRSXODU DORQJ ZLWK bags and even phone FDVHV %XW ZKDW clothing does one match with items that ORRN OLNH WKH\·YH been dipped in a vat of outer space?

32

Image by Georgie Morley

BUZZSAW: The Language Issue

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Welcome to the Jam ... Again

0IFVSR .EQIW 7LSYPHR´X &I 8EOMRK ,MW 8EPIRXW XS 7TEGI By Kristen Tomkowid

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“ â€? “ “- 03:)( XLI ½VWX one. I would be all for it I guess. I would just hope that they would pick someone as likeable as Michael Jordan.â€?

- AJ Stas, Vassar College sophomore

“I would be down to see it! I think it could be good! Nothing is better than the original though.� - Parker Simoni, SUNY Cortland sophomore

“I want Jordan and Shaq back for that. LeBron could be the evil guy. That would be fun.� - Hannes Lattacher, Karl-FranzensUniversitat Graz alum

33

Ministry of Cool

DFN LQ D PRYLH FDPH RXW 2QH SHUIHFW H[DPSOH RI D VHTXHO GRLQJ WKDW FKDQJHG FKLOGKRRGV IRUHYHU far worse than the original is the Pixar It captivated minds and led kids movie Cars 2Q WKH ZHEVLWH 5RWWHQ WR GUHDP RI EDVNHWEDOO VWDUGRP :H ZHUH Tomatoes the critics gave the original a EORZQ DZD\ QRW RQO\ E\ WKH VWRU\ EXW RXW RI DQG WKH DXGLHQFH JDYH DOVR E\ WKH YLVXDOV $QLPDWLRQ DQG OLYH LW DQ RXW RI )RU WKH VHTXHO action came together again on the big FULWLFV JDYH D DQG WKH DXGLHQFH VFUHHQ LQ D Ă€OP IRU DOO DJHV WKDW VHHPHG GROHG RXW D 7KH VHTXHO ZDV URWWHQ WRR JRRG WR EH WUXH \LHOGHG D $QRWKHU H[DPSOH RI WKLV LV WKH masterpiece that will be forever etched Ocean’s VHULHV 5RWWHQ LQ WKH PLQGV RI D JHQHUDWLRQ Tomatoes critics gave 7KLV HSLF ZRUN ZDV RI FRXUVH Space Ocean’s Eleven an JamÂłWKH PRQXPHQWDO Ă€OP VWDUULQJ while it only gave 0LFKDHO -RUGDQ DQG %XJV %XQQ\ DORQJ Ocean’s Twelve D ZLWK WKH UHVW RI WKH /RRQH\ 7XQHV JDQJ +RZHYHU Ocean’s The wacky adventure of Loony T h i r t e e n Tunes characters battling aliens received a on the basketball court in order 70 from to win their freedom was a t h e s e winning plot that has yet to F U L W L F V EH PDWFKHG These +RZHYHU HDUOLHU WKLV examples \HDU UXPRUV FLUFXODWHG WKDW D show that FRQWHQGHU PLJKW EH LQ WKH ZRUNV regardless 6WLOO LW¡V GLIILFXOW WR LPDJLQH of how strong WKDW DQ\ VHTXDO FRXOG PDWFK WKH the cast is or charm of the original-­-­ who would KRZ JUHDW WKH Ă€UVW EH DEOH WR Ă€OO 0LFKDHO -RUGDQ¡V PRYLH ZDV VXFFHVV LV iconic shoes? QHYHU D VXUH WKLQJ 7KH How about LeBron only thing that really James? In a twitter PDNHV D ZLQQLQJ Ă€OP LV 4 $ VHVVLRQ LQ WKH VWRU\OLQH DQG $XJXVW -DPHV VDLG without a new and he loved the Space LQWHUHVWLQJ SORW WKH Jam movie so much that Ă€OP ZLOO IDOO Ă DW he wished he could star RQ LWV IDFH <HV Rich n LQ WKH OHJHQG¡V VHTXHO there are far too e r a by K Image But it appears his dreams many movies in the world to ZLOO EH GDVKHG EHFDXVH DV RI DYRLG VKDULQJ FHUWDLQ HOHPHQWV EXW DQ\ now there has been no talk of worthy concept can be altered until it DQRWKHU /RRQH\ 7XQHV PRYLH +LV WZHHW KDV DQ RULJLQDO LGHQWLW\ GLG QRW VWDUW WKH EDOO UROOLQJ LW MXVW JRW D $ Space Jam VHTXHO LV D JUHDW IHZ SHRSOH WDONLQJ DERXW WKH SRVVLELOLW\ concept and would have a large $ QXPEHU RI “90s kidsÂľ offered their DXGLHQFH EXW WKHUH LV D ORW WKDW ZRXOG opinions on the possibility of another need to be sorted out for it to be a Space Jam PRYLH DQG DOWKRXJK VRPH KLW 7KH PRYLH FDQQRW MXVW UHKDVK WKH H[SUHVVHG LQWHUHVW LQ D VHTXHO RQH same plot with different actors and thing was clear: the Michael Jordan VHWWLQJV :H KDYH DOUHDG\ VHHQ WKDW PDVWHUSLHFH OHIW SUHWW\ ELJ VKRHV WR Ă€OO 1HZ DFWRUV DUH MXVW WKH EHJLQQLQJ 0D\EH WKH VHTXHO ZRXOG QRW HYHQ EH of a long list of things that should DERXW EDVNHWEDOO :K\ QRW EDVHEDOO EH FKDQJHGÂłVR VRUU\ /H%URQ EXW RU IRRWEDOO" $Q 1)/ SOD\HU OLNH 'UHZ EDVNHWEDOO KDV DOUHDG\ EHHQ GRQH Brees could lead the Looney Tunes ____________________________________ on a hardcore adventure against the Kristen Tomkowid is a sophomore FUHDWXUHV RI WKH VN\ +RZHYHU IHDWXULQJ journalism major who never writes an a strong lead still would not guarantee article without her lucky gym shorts. VXFFHVV Email her at ktomkow1@ithaca.edu. 6HTXHOV KDYH UXLQHG PDQ\ D PRYLH

RAW SAW

Book Review

BUZZSAW: The Language Issue

The Casual Vacancy

FROM THE

34

There is a common trope in the music industry in which a young pop starlet decides WKDW VKH¡V DOO JURZQ XS DQG WKDW LW¡V WLPH IRU WKH UHVW RI WKH ZRUOG WR NQRZ LW WRR $V D UHVXOW VKH VWDUWV ZULWLQJ UDXQFK\ VRQJV DQG dressing provocatively with the hopes of aging KHU IDQ EDVH DQG SURYLQJ WKDW GDPQLW VKH¡V QRW D OLWWOH JLUO DQ\PRUH 7R DSSO\ WKLV FRQFHSW WR OLWHUDWXUH WKH SRS VWDU LV - . 5RZOLQJ DQG her means of asserting her place amongst the JURZQ XSV LV KHU QHZHVW QRYHO The Casual Vacancy 5HDGHUV H[SHFWLQJ UHIHUHQFHV WR D FHUWDLQ VFKRRO RI PDJLF RU D WDOH RI ORYH DQG DGYHQWXUH ZLOO EH VRUHO\ GLVDSSRLQWHG /RQJ JRQH DUH the wizards and witches of the Harry Potter VHULHV DQG LQVWHDG ZH DUH OHIW DPRQJVW D YLOODJH RI %ULWRQV HYHQ WRR YLOH IRU WKH 'XUVOH\V $OWKRXJK 5RZOLQJ¡V DELOLW\ WR FDSWXUH WKH essence of each character down to his or her GHHSHVW Ă DZV VWLOO FRPHV WKURXJK WKH QRYHO is drowning in darkness to the extent that it DSSHDUV FRQWULYHG It goes without saying that this woman can ZULWH $Q\RQH WKDW FDQ ZULWH WKH EHJLQQLQJV WR one of the greatest fantasy book series since - 5 5 7RONLHQ RQ D FRFNWDLO QDSNLQ RQ D WUDLQ no less) is bound to be riddled with some GHJUHH RI OLWHUDU\ JHQLXV <HW GHVSLWH WKH IHZ winning moments of Vacancy , GLG QRW VHH WKH VDPH GHJUHH RI FRPSOH[LW\ RU WKH VDPH clever linkage of characters and plot lines that DUH FKDUDFWHULVWLF RI WKH +DUU\ 3RWWHU VHULHV 7KH QRYHO WHOOV WKH WDOH RI WZR FRQĂ LFWLQJ WRZQV 3DJIRUG DQG <DUYLO 3DJIRUG LV WKH TXLQWHVVHQWLDO %ULWLVK WRZQ Ă€OOHG ZLWK KLVWRU\ DQG FREEOHVWRQHG VWUHHWV ZKLOH WKH LQKDELWDQWV RI <DUYLO DUH GUXJ DGGLFWV DQG GHJHQHUDWHV :LWKRXW JLYLQJ DZD\ WKH HQGLQJ WKH QRYHO UHDGV OLNH D 5RPHR DQG -XOLHW WDOH PLQXV WKH IRUELGGHQ ORYH VWRU\ $IWHU D FLW\ FRXQFLO PHPEHU GLHV DV D UHVXOW RI D VWURNH QXPHURXV FDQGLGDWHV MXPS WR WDNH

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Movie Review

One Direction

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Ministry of Cool

Killing Them Softly

Album Review

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35

Lovesick By Anonymous

BUZZSAW: The Language Issue

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hen I started my drive to the hospital to visit my JUDQGPRWKHU VH[ ZDV WKH ODVW WKLQJ RQ P\ PLQG $V , VWHSSHG out of the elevator and began my trek WRZDUG WKH JHULDWULF ZDUG P\ VWRPDFK EHJDQ WR FKXUQ , VZDOORZHG P\ DQJVW DV , ZDONHG XS WR P\ JUDQGPRWKHU grabbing hold of her hand and taking P\ VHDW IRU WKH QH[W IHZ KRXUV :LWK QRWKLQJ EHWWHU WR GR DQG QR RQH DURXQG WR KHDU , GHFLGHG WR use this hospital visit as an excuse WR EUXVK XS P\ )UHQFK VNLOOV 0\ grandma was silent as I spat out PXQGDQH VWDWHPHQWV LQ )UHQFK , ZDV perfectly content doing this for the UHVW RI P\ YLVLW EXW P\ GD\ ZDV DERXW WR WDNH D GUDVWLF WXUQ The knock on the doorframe gave PH D IULJKW 0\ JUDQGPRWKHU DQG , ZHUH QR ORQJHU DORQH , ORRNHG XS WR see who was knocking and was taken DEDFN ZLWK ZKDW PHW P\ JD]H 7KHUH KH ZDV VOLP WDQ DQG LPSHFFDEO\ JURRPHG ´&DQ , KHOS \RX"µ , DVNHG ´, FRXOGQ·W KHOS EXW QRWLFH WKDW \RX ZHUH VSHDNLQJ )UHQFK µ KH UHSOLHG +H GLGQ·W QHHG WR H[SODLQ DQ\ IXUWKHU KLV WKLFN )UHQFK DFFHQW JDYH LW DOO DZD\ +RVSLWDOV FDQ EH UHDOO\ ZHLUG SODFHV (YHU\RQH FRPHV LQWR D KRVSLWDO ZLWK EDJJDJH ZKHWKHU WKH\·UH ZHOFRPLQJ D QHZ IDPLO\ PHPEHU LQWR WKH ZRUOG saying goodbye to another or visiting D FORVH IULHQG :KHWKHU JRRG RU EDG LW·V DOZD\V D QHUYH ZUDFNLQJ DQG HPRWLRQDO H[SHULHQFH /XFNLO\ , IRXQG

36

VRODFH LQ P\ QHZ IULHQG , OHDUQHG D ORW DERXW KLP WKDW GD\ +LV QDPH ZDV .O\GH KH ZDV \HDUV ROG +H ZDV YLVLWLQJ D FORVH IULHQG ZKR KDG EHHQ LQ D FDU DFFLGHQW :H VDW LQ WKDW URRP DQG WDONHG IRU KRXUV I felt as if I could really trust .O\GH , WROG KLP LQ GHWDLO DERXW P\ JUDQGPRWKHU·V VLWXDWLRQ DQG ZK\ LW was so hard for me to see her in these ÀQDO GD\V , ODXJKHG , FULHG DQG .O\GH OLVWHQHG 7KLV PDQ ZKR , KDG NQRZQ for a matter of hours knew more about PH WKDQ PRVW RI P\ IULHQGV 7KHQ ZH ZHUH LQWHUUXSWHG DJDLQ $ GRFWRU FDPH LQ ´:H KDYH WR WDNH KHU GRZQVWDLUV IRU VRPH WHVWV µ WKH GRFWRU PXPEOHG , NLVVHG P\ JUDQGPRWKHU goodbye and watched as they rolled KHU GRZQ WKH KDOOZD\ ´$UH \RX KXQJU\"µ .O\GH DVNHG 1H[W WKLQJ , NQHZ , ZDV LQ KLV DSDUWPHQW HDWLQJ D KRPH FRRNHG PHDO $W WKLV SRLQW , NQHZ .O\GH DQG , ZHUH JRLQJ WR KDYH VH[ $V ZH DWH RXU PHDO RQ KLV ORYHVHDW , FRXOG IHHO KLP LQFKLQJ LQ FORVHU DQG FORVHU ´1RZ , JHW ZK\ WKH\ FDOO LW D ORYHVHDW µ KH VDLG +RZ WDFN\ +RZ ZRQGHUIXO )LQDOO\ WKH LQHYLWDEOH KDSSHQHG DQG .O\GH KDG VWUDGGOHG P\ ODS $V ZH PDGH RXW KH·G RFFDVLRQDOO\ SXOO EDFN whispering something undoubtedly ÀOWK\ WR PH LQ )UHQFK :KDW PRUH could a guy ask for? I scooped him up and brought him WR KLV EHGURRP WKURZLQJ KLP GRZQ on the bed and crawling on top of

KLP 6RPH WLPH SDVVHG DQG ZH VKHG DOO RI RXU FORWKHV , KDG QHYHU IHOW VR FRQÀGHQW LQ P\ OLIH +HUH , ZDV ZLWK D PDQ ,·G MXVW PHW WKDW PRUQLQJ LQ D hospital RI DOO SODFHV +H KDG VHHQ PH DW P\ ZRUVW DV D QHUYRXV ZUHFN DQG KH VWLOO ZDQWHG WR SOHDVXUH PH +H SLQQHG P\ KDQGV GRZQ +H ZRXOGQ·W HYHQ OHW PH WRXFK KLP ´&·HVW SRXU WRL µ KH ZRXOG VD\ PHDQLQJ ´WKLV LV IRU \RXµ +H NHSW P\ KDQGV ERXQG HYHQ DV KH ZHQW GRZQ RQ PH SHUIHFWO\ RND\ ZLWK MXVW OHWWLQJ PH ZULWKH DURXQG LQ HQMR\PHQW .O\GH VDZ PH WKURXJK WR FRPSOHWLRQ without ever letting me return the IDYRU $IWHU , RUJDVPHG , VDW SDQWLQJ on the bed as he rose up and planted D JHQWOH NLVV RQ P\ OLSV +H KDG VXFK D GHYLOLVK JULQ DW WKDW PRPHQW DQG , ZLOO QHYHU IRUJHW , QHYHU JRW .O\GH·V QXPEHU DQG , PD\ YHU\ ZHOO QHYHU VHH KLP DJDLQ 7KDW·V QRW ZKDW PDWWHUV WR PH Though most would frown on my experience as a promiscuous one-­ QLJKW VWDQG LW ZDV PXFK PRUH WR PH Klyde saw me through full emotional UHOHDVH 7KRXJK ZH RQO\ LQWHUDFWHG RYHU WKH FRXUVH RI D IHZ KRXUV ZH NQHZ HDFK RWKHU·V OLYHV .O\GH DQG , VDZ HDFK RWKHU RQ DQ KRQHVW UDZ DQG HPRWLRQDO OHYHO 7KDW FRQQHFWLRQ KRZHYHU EULHI LV D SRZHUIXO RQH :KR NQHZ ,·G ÀQG DOO WKDW LQ D KRVSLWDO"

Prose & Cons

&CONS. PROSE&CONS. PROSE

37

Headland

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

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2S[ XLEX - WMX MR JVSRX SJ XLI ½VI ERH XV] XS XLMRO EFSYX XLMW [LSPI XLMRK [LEX LETTIRIH WS JEV ERH what’s coming up next, I’m blanking. The thick paint of XLSYKLX QIPXW SJJ SJ Q] FVEMR PIEZMRK E GSPSVPIWW GERZEW MR Q] LIEH -X HVMTW HS[R MRXS QI GSPPIGXMRK MR E GSEKYPEXMRK TYHHPI SJ FVS[R WPYHKI MR Q] LIEVX 1] FEGO MW MGI GSPH JEGMRK XLI FPEGO RMKLX FYX Q] JVSRX MW GSZIVIH MR WXMPP HVSTW SJ W[IEX - WUYMRX Q] I]IW EKEMRWX XLI LSX HERGI SJ XLI ¾EQIW ERH FVIEXLI MR LIEZ] XLMGO WQSOI 8LI HIWIVX [MRH MW EP[E]W FPS[MRK ERH VMKLX RS[ MX´W FPS[MRK XLI LIEX MR Q] HMVIGXMSR %R LSYV EKS EJXIV Q] WLEHS[ SR XLI VIH HMVX LEH HMWETTIEVIH ERH XLI FSXXSQ SJ XLI KVIEX SVERKI WYR OMWWIH XLI VE^SV WXVEMKLX LSVM^SR - LETTIRIH YTSR E HIEH XVII WXERHMRK MR MXW S[R PSRIP] WTSX EQSRK XLI KVIEX ¾EXRIWW 7GEXXIVIH EVSYRH XLI FEWI [IVI WSQI FPEGO ¾IGOW SJ WSQIXLMRK (IEH PIEZIW QE]FI SV E HIWIVX FMVH XLEX LEH OIIPIH SZIV SRI HE] VMKLX SYX SJ MXW nest in the branches. All that was left. - WXSTTIH XLI GEV E XVYI WLMXFS\ GEOIH MR HIIT HYWX WS XLEX IEGL MRGL SJ XLI JEHMRK FPYI FSH] [EW GSZIVIH % REVVS[ XVEMP SJ LERKMRK HYWX WXVIXGLIH FEGO FILMRH MX QEVOMRK Q] ^MK^EKW XLVSYKL XLMW REQIPIWW HIWIVX (VMJXMRK MR RS HMVIGXMSR XS WTIEO SJ QE]FI [IWX % JI[ HE]W FEGO EJXIV ½RMWLMRK SJJ XLI PEWX SJ XLI [LMWOI] -´H WXSGOTMPIH - WTIRX LSYVW HSMRK HSRYXW MR XLI WERH SGGEWMSREPP] TEYWMRK XS LIEV XLI IGLS SJ Q] ERMQEP howls. 8LMW [EW EJXIV SRI SJ XLI PIRWIW TSTTIH SYX SJ Q] WYRKPEWWIW [LMPI - [EW LMXXMRK Q]WIPJ MR XLI LIEH JSV LEZMRK FYVRIH XLI VIWX SJ Q] GEWL EJXIV - KSX SJJ XLI LMKL[E] - ½WLIH EVSYRH MR XLI HMVX JSV ER LSYV XV]MRK XS ½RH XLI HEQR XLMRK - KIX JVYWXVEXIH ERH SYX LIVI - GER´X XEOI MX SYX SR ER]XLMRK FYX Q]WIPJ - YWIH XS GYVWI EX Q]WIPJ LSVVMFPI XLMRKW FYX - SYXKVI[ XLEX 2S[ - HSR´X WTIEO EX EPP 8LI XVII [EW FSRI HV] XLI FEVO WLVYROIR ERH X[MWXIH GLSOMRK MXW MRREVHW - WXEVIH EX XLMW PSRI WIRXMRIP SJ XLI ;IWX EPQSWX WSVV] XLEX - LEH HMWXYVFIH MX %JXIV E [LMPI - WE[ XLI WYR HMWETTIEVMRK ERH JIXGLIH XLI I\XVE KEW GSRXEMRIV JVSQ XLI XVYRO ERH LEYPIH MX SZIV ERH HYQTIH E JVEGXMSR SJ XLI WXYJJ SRXS XLI FEWI SJ XLI XVII E JI[ HVSTW JEPPMRK SRXS Q] VEKKIH WRIEOIVW XLI rubber sole hanging off of the base. %W - [EPOIH JVSQ XLI GEV VEXXPMRK XLI QEXGLFS\ -´H VIXVMIZIH JVSQ XLI GSRWSPI - WEMH WSQIXLMRK SJ E

38

TVE]IV E WXVE] XLSYKLX XLEX WSQILS[ WYVJEGIH JVSQ XLI TMXGL FPEGO HITXLW SJ Q] QMRH ±8LERO ]SY JSV WSQIXLMRK EW TYVI EW ½VI ² - PMX E QEXGL ERH HVSTTIH MX SR XLI XVII -X [IRX YT ERH XLI PEWX SJ XLI WYRPMKLX JEHIH E[E] *SV HMRRIV - FPYHKISRIH E LSPI MR E GER SJ (MRX] 1SSVI FIIJ WXI[ [MXL XLI HYPPIWX SJ XLI XLVII FPEHIW MR Q] ORSGOSJJ 7[MWW %VQ] ORMJI ERH WPYVTIH XLI WXYJJ GSPH - HVERO Q] [EXIV WXVEMKLX JVSQ XLI KEPPSR SRI SJ ½ZI - [EW GEVV]MRK MR Q] XVYRO FYX XLI SRP] SRI XLEX [EWR´X IQTX] ]IX -X [EW [EVQ EPQSWX LSX FYX WYMXIH QI NYWX ½RI - ½RMWLIH ERSXLIV TEKI JVSQ A Farewell to Arms - VIEH MX VIVIEH MX XLIR XSVI MX SYX ERH EXI MX - WRET SYX SJ Q] WXEVI ERH VYF Q] I]IW WLMJX MR Q] WIEX SR XLI HMVX 7SQIXLMRK XSYGLIW Q] EROPI FYX Q] FSH] HSIWR´X IZIR X[MXGL 0E^MP] ERH [MXL XLI WLEVTIWX ORMJI - WXEVX GYXXMRK XLI SXLIV PIK SJ Q] ½PXL] NIERW VMKLX EFSZI XLI ORII PMOI XLI SXLIV SRI - WXYH] MX JSV PIRKXL XLI YRIZIR XIEVW EPVIEH] WTVSYXMRK WXVE] XLVIEHW UYMZIVMRK MR XLI GLMPP FVII^I 8LI FYVRMRK XVII MW WLMRMRK PMOI WSQI ETSGEP]TXMG FIEGSR MRHMGEXMRK E TEXL XLEX PIH XS RS[LIVI WMKREPMRK XS JIPPS[ XVEZIPIVW XLEX [SYPH RIZIV GSQI XS TEWW - GSYPH WPIIT MR XLI GEV FYX - ½KYVI -´Q GSSTIH YT MR XLIVI JSV QSWX SJ XLI HE] ER][E] )EVPMIV - YWIH XS HVMZI EX RMKLX JSV E QMRSV GLERKI MR WGIRIV] FYX EJXIV XLI WIGSRH LIEHPMKLX JEHIH SYX - LMX E VSGO ERH EPQSWX TSTTIH E XMVI 8LI WO] MW MQTSWWMFP] HIIT ERH [MHI LIVI ERH - PE] Q] LIEH HS[R SR XLI KVSYRH ERH WXEVI MRXS MX XLMROing of ghosts like me. Thinking of nothing at all. &IGEYWI - LEZI RS JYXYVI - HVIEQ SJ XLI TEWX 8LI PSRK FEVVIP SJ Q] HEH´W VIZSPZIV WXYGO HIIT MR Q] mouth. Three in the morning. I sat there in front of E WRS[] XIPIZMWMSR PMOI XLEX JSV ER LSYV YRXMP - ½REPP] TYPPIH XLI XLMRK SYX RS[ [EVQ ERH [IX [MXL Q] ZETSV - [EMXIH YRXMP XLI ORSX MR Q] WXSQEGL YRHMH MXWIPJ XLIR - WXSSH YT ERH WXYJJIH XLI XLMRK MR Q] NIERW ERH TYPPIH XLI RSXI SJJ SJ Q] FEVI GLIWX - XVMIH XS XETI MX XS XLI [EPP FYX EJXIV JSYV XVMIW - NYWX PIJX MX XLIVI SR XLI ¾SSV KVEFFIH Q] [EPPIX QEVGLIH SYX XLI HSSV ERH MRXS XLI GEV ERH SYX SJ XLIVI - HVSZI JSV QMPIW SYX SJ WYFYVFME ERH MRXS XLI GMX] EPP HE] YRXMP - JSYRH E TPEGI XLEX [SYPH WIPP EPGSLSP XS XLI YRHIVEKIH 'ERRIH JSSH ERH [EXIV EX XLI KVSGIV] WXSVI WXVERKIP] TSTYPSYW MR XLI HIEH SJ RMKLX 8LIR XS XLI LMKL[E] JEV E[E] 2S TLSRI RS VEHMS - FSYKLX XLI ,IQMRK[E] EX E VIWX WXST -X´W FIIR EPQSWX X[IRX] JSYV HE]W -´Q WYVI

Q] TEVIRXW LEZI QEHI XLI REXMSREP RI[W F] RS[ % GVSWW GSYRXV] WIEVGL JSV ]SYVW XVYP] ;LIR - [EW WSQI HMWXERGI HS[R 6SYXI - NIVOIH XLI [LIIP XS XLI PIJX ERH ZIIVIH MRXS E PSRK WXVIXGL SJ WERH I\XIRHMRK TEWX YRWIIR LSVM^SRW ER IRHPIWW IQTX] FEWMR E LSTIPIWW WPEF of creation. %[EOI RS[ FYX XLI [SVPH MW WXMPP HEVO - WGVEXGL EX Q] FIEVH KVMX Q] XIIXL XYK EX Q] KVS[MRK LEMV [LMGL MW ½REPP] TIIOMRK HS[R SZIV Q] FVS[ - [VMXI ±[EXIV²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thing speaks to me in the strawlike patches of grass, the IZIVPEWXMRK WERHWXSRIW XLI ZSVXI\ SJ XLI SGGEWMSREP HYWX HIZMP 8LI HMWXERX QSYRXEMRW EPXIVREXIP] VIEP ERH YRVIEP

GEPP XS QI MR E [SQERP] ZSMGI PS[ ERH WQSSXL EW XLI KPMHMRK [EXIV SJ E FVSSO &ILMRH QI - WT] XLI XLMR ZIVXMGEP PMRIW SJ E GMX]WGETI WLYHHIVMRK MR XLI LIEX - GER LIEV MXW GIEWIPIWW RSMWI EPP XLI [E] EGVSWW XLMW RSXLMRK % KYWX SJ [MRH VYWLIW F] ERH MX FPS[W XLI LEMV SYX SJ Q] JEGI %PP SJ E WYHHIR XLI TEMR ¾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he tree burns out, a thin smoke rising. It is FYVRIH MRXS QIQSV] ERH IZIV]XLMRK MW MQTSWWMFP] WXMPP

Bon Appetite &] )QMP] 2S[IPW

39

Prose & Cons

8LI QYH WEXYVEXIH SYV YRMJSVQW WIITMRK HS[R XS SYV FSRIW QEVMREXMRK YW [MXL XLI ¾EZSVW SJ VERGMH VSSXW EGMH VEMR ERH HIGE]MRK ¾IWL 8LIVI [EW RS IWGETMRK MX ;I WTIRX HE]W QEVGLMRK [MRHMRK SYV [E] XLVSYKL IZIV] MRGL SJ XLI GSYRXV] XLVSYKL EFERHSRIH XS[RW ERH HIWSPEXI ½IPHW ERH [SSHW 8MQI [SYPH TEWW MRXS E WXVERKI TVMWQ SJ ZEKYI MQTVIWWMSRW KERKVIRI KVIIR JVSWXFMXXIR FPYI EPP JEHMRK MRXS E FVYMWIH FPEGO %RH XLIR [LIR [I LEH FIIR HIKVEHIH XS RSXLMRK QSVI XLER PYQTW SJ [EPOMRK QYWGPI XLI IEVXL I\TPSHIH MRXS FMXW SJ FPSSH] FSHMIW ¾]MRK XLVSYKL XLI ½VIW SJ ±JVIIHSQ ² 8VIIW XVIQFPIH ERH WLSSO YRHIV XLI TVIWWYVI SJ SYV TEWWMSR (IPMGEXI ZMSPIXW [MPXIH MR XLI ZETMH ZMSPEXMSR ,YRHVIH ]IEV SPH QSWW HVS[RIH MR SYV FPSSH 7S [LMPI SYV FVSXLIVW WEX MR GPEWWVSSQW PIEVRMRK FMSPSK] [I PIEVRIH EREXSQ] MR XLI ½IPH ;I XSSO MR XLI FIEYX] SJ XLI QYWGYPEV W]WXIQ EW XLI ½VI JVSQ SYV EVXMPPIV] TIIPIH FEGO XLI WOMR SJ SYV JVMIRHW ERH IRIQMIW ;I PSGEXIH XLI EWGIRHMRK ESVXE XLI XLSVE\ XLI PIJX ERH VMKLX GSVSREV] EVXIVMIW XLI WYFGPEZMER ERH XLI FVEMR ERH FPI[ XLIQ XS JYGOMRK FMXW 3YV WOMR WIEVIH MR XLI FPE^I SJ KVIREHIW ERH XLI WQIPP SJ VSEWXMRK QIEX ERH FYVRMRK GLEVGSEP FPEROIXIH XLI ½IPH 3YV XIEVW PIJX WEPX] XVEMPW HS[R SYV GLIIOW EW FYPPIXW TITTIVIH SYV FSHMIW %RH MR XLI QSVRMRK XLI FMXW ERH TMIGIW SJ YW KSX [EWLIH HS[R XLI HVEMR GSRRIGXIH XS XLI GMX] WI[EKI PMRIW ERH WITXMG XEROW [LIVI [I´PP FI TYVqIH ERH TYVM½IH ERH IZIRXYEPP] PMUYM½IH KYPTIH YT MR KPEWWIW SJ [EXIV F] QMPPMSRW SJ XLMVWX] WSYPW %RH XLI PIJXSZIVW XLEX EVI [SVXL WEZMRK EVI W[ITX SRXS [LMXI KYVRI]W PMOI [LMXI TPEXXIVW ERH [LIIPIH E[E] XS FI VI WXYJJIH VI WXMXGLIH VI WIEWSRIH ERH VIXYVRIH LSQI &EGO XS XLI JEVQW XLI JEGXSVMIW XLI PYQFIV]EVHW ERH XLI GSEP QMRIW &EGO XS XLI FVSOIR LSQIW XLI IQTX] TPEXIW ERH XLI QSYVRMRK QSXLIVW %RH [MXL SYV EQTYXEXIH PIKW ERH TVSWXLIXMG EVQW [I´PP HS XLI FIWX [I GER XS FYV] EPP XLI LSVVSV ERH ±QEVGL SR ²

Swimming or Drowning &] %PI\ 7XIMR I 7SYRH [EZIW XLEX XVEZIP XLVSYKL XLI EMV ,EZI XVSYFPI TIRIXVEXMRK XLI WYVJEGI SJ [EXIV ;SVHW EVI QYJ¾IH ERH SFWGYVIH 8LI [E] [EXIVGSPSVW VYR ERH EVI HMPYXIH 8LI GSPSVW MREYHMFPI % HIEJ QER´W W]RIWXLIWME But when spoken in water ;EZIW YRHYPEXI GEVV]MRK XLI WSYRH % QEXIVREP FYVHIR 8SYGL LIV WXSQEGL ERH ]SY GER JIIP MX OMGO 8LI SGIER VIEGLIW E HITXL SJ QMPIW %RH QSWX SJ XLI WTIGMIW PMZMRK XLIVI EVI WXMPP YRHMWGSZIVIH

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

II -WR´X MX JYRR] LS[ IZIV]XLMRK ]SY IZIV XSPH QI 'ER FI I\TVIWWIH MR WSYRH [EZIW# *VIUYIRGMIW IEWMP] HYTPMGEXIH F] E GSQTYXIV 8VEGMRK IZIV] XLSYKLX %W E GLMPH - WXIRGMPIH [MXL FIXE [EZIW 4PSXXMRK XLI EQTPMXYHI ERH [EZIPIRKXL ¯ (VIEQW EVI WGVMFFPIH QSYRXEMRW We can’t climb.

40

Sawdust

AWDUST. SAWDUST. SAWDUS

41

Disgruntled Republican is Pluto-Bound When Canada isn’t far enough

By Rachael Lewis-Krisky

T

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

he following is a transcript of an audio tape recording made by Mitt Willard, a Minnesotan poultry farmer. Willard was an avid supporter of Governor Mitt Romney in the presidential race. The fence surrounding his farm was littered with Romney Ryan 2012 signs and homemade posters reading “Obama Supporters Not Welcome.” It was rumored he even sent Romney and Ryan four live chickens each month to show his support. Willard gained some national attention in June, threatening to escape to space if President Obama was re-­ elected. He claimed he would build a spaceship and leave before the President even read his morning paper after Election Day. Police checked in on Willard when reports of strange noises and odd lights FDPH ÁRRGLQJ LQ DURXQG the same time that major QHZV VRXUFHV FRQÀUPHG President Obama’s win. When police arrived on the scene, all of the Romney Ryan signs were gone from Mitt’s property. Discovered on November 7, 2012, this tape was found in his house in a silver-­ plated time capsule marked “In Case of Apocalypse.”

in the streets for that evil man. HE IS THE ANTICHRIST! But of course they don’t know that … no one knows that. My countdown has begun, T-­minus 58 minutes until take off. I can’t stay here on Earth. Not even the moon would be far enough away from Obama. I hate to even say his name. I’m heading for Pluto — hopefully, if my little old Double-­R can make it that far. She’s gonna push it. Oh, right. Double-­R is my girl. She’s made of the strongest barn wood and most blessed political signs of our day. Yeah. This rocket will take me far. Since Pluto was removed from the list of planets, I’m guessing t h e r e ’ s something there that our gover nment doesn’t want us to know about. It’s also the last place that they’r e going to look for

42

At this point Willard stepped away from the tape. He walked away shouting, “They have nothing on me!” and “I’ll out run everyone!” For the next 45 minutes sounds of drilling, hammering and buzzing on wood and metal could be heard in the background. Then a loud emergency alarm went off. Willard returned to the tape player. Williard: It’s time. To all who have managed to live since November 7, 2012, I praise your courage. After I left, the police surely came for me. Not to see where I went, but to stop me from going. I know they knew my plans. I’m the only one that knew the WUXWK , KRSH WKH\ GRQ·W ÀQG WKLV 7KH public won’t understand. Not yet. That’s why you, the survivors, need to know; you are not alone. After my stop to Pluto, I’ll head to other galaxies. Who knows what will happen. But for those conservatives that don’t fall to the Antichrist’s Army, you will see me once again. Romney/ Ryan barn rocket and all. An alarm goes off in the background. An automated countdown begins. 60 – 59 – 58 – 57 … Williard: Well, here is goes!

Williard: Hello survivors of the future! Or … well I guess hello from the past. This will surely be the only recording f o u n d predicting the fate of our world. Dumb liberals are cheering

PH 7KH\·OO ZDQW WR ÀQG PH WR VWLÁH the truth. It is only I, the namesake of Romney, who knows the real truth. I’ll be the only one to get away before KHOO·V ÀUHV EXEEOH WR (DUWK·V VXUIDFH I’m ready for it! Let them come!

End transcript. Willard was never found. But then again, police never looked much for him. ____________________________________ Rachael Lewis-­Kristy is a junior documentary studies and production major who would’ve done the same thing if there was a Romney win. Email her at rlewisk1@ithaca.edu.

Image by David Lurvey

Moon Newt? +MRKVMGL LIEHW XS QSSR XS IRXIV IPIGXMSR ½RHW RSXLMRK FYX PYREV PMFIVEPW

By Miranda Materazzo

A

t a press release in October, Newt Gingrich announced he would be campaigning to become the moon’s 86th president. However, this story was not found in most major newspapers because no one took Newt seriously, despite his comments months earlier about colonizing the moon. Just a few days later, on the advice of his new campaign manager Giorgio Tsoukalos, an expert on the History Channel show “Ancient Aliens,� Gingrich actually left for the moon. He survived the 240,000 mile journey through space, where temperatures can reach 300 degrees below zero, due to the massive stores of hot air and fat in and around his head. When he arrived on the moon and saw that it had already been colonized (and not by those pesky Soviets as he had imagined), he realized he had to change his rallying

cry. The people of the moon have tie-­ dye colored skin, with men sporting ORQJ Ă RZLQJ EHDUGV %RWK OXQDU PHQ and women have unkempt hair and typically don’t wear shoes. Lunar people speak in a foreign language that is oddly peppered with the “surfer talkâ€? dialogue of southern California. The main export of the moon’s one nation is cheese, and immigrants from Venus make up a large percent of the population. At the time Newt arrived on the moon, a Lunar presidential election was taking place similar to our own. Two other native Lunar candidates were already in an intense, nearly dead-­heat race. Determined to turn the moon into a more militarized and conservative place, Newt immediately joined the presidential race. Along with his old platform, Newt began spreading his ideas about colonizing

Mars. His platform was not popular with the lunar people because they only recently signed a peace agreement with the Martians. Despite the close numbers, the two native lunar candidates remained close friends, and were often spotted walking around the capital holding hands. Newt was particularly unpopular with Lunar women, who have two uteri and are therefore twice as pro-­choice. Newt promptly withdrew from the Lunar election and returned to Earth after his campaign manager simply told him, “Aliens!â€? He and his new wife, the only conservative woman on the moon, will be heading back to space in 2020 to run as a team for president and vice-­ president of Venus. ____________________________________ Miranda Materazzo is a a freshman journalism major who voted Nader. Email her at mmatera1@ithaca.edu.

NASA Explores Myspace for Signs of Life 6IWIEVGLIVW ½RH PMXXPI SR HIWSPEXI [EWXIPERH SJ JSVQIV WSGMEP RIX[SVOMRK WMXI By Rachel Maus

Q

Due to pressure from conservative politicians, the Obama administration has announced that funding for NASA will be cut due to the low number of developments made in the last seven years. This act does prompt questions as to why it was allowed to carry on for so long. “Perhaps instead of wasting money searching the remnants of a teenager’s old bulletin messages, we should be have spent that money on something important, like returning to the moon,� former GOP candidate Newt Gingrich said in a statement, citing Obamacare as a reason for why life has not been found on the social network. Unfortunately for the Obama administration, time has run out. Sources say in the seven years that the probe has been searching, it still has not yielded any new discoveries, save for a few eighth graders and their “bands.� This alone is not enough to justify pumping money into the

program, and as the deadline draws close, it seems unlikely that NASA will PDNH VLJQLĂ€FDQW GLVFRYHULHV DQ\WLPH soon. “Please, give us something to do. Anything,â€? Richard Foster, a NASA researcher, said. Several sources have pointed to the site’s creator, known only as “Tomâ€? for an answer. Numerous attempts to contact this “Tomâ€? have been unsuccessful. Though we were able to contact a man claiming to be Tom, once we viewed the bulletin containing just a picture of a man’s genitals and the caption “How’s this for your top 8,â€? we determined the claim was fraudulent. It is rumored that the real Tom has been hiding out for the past eight years on Friendster. ____________________________________ Rachel Maus is a sophomore cinema and photography major who was NEVER friends with Tom. Email her at rmaus1@ithaca.edu.

Sawdust

uestions have been circulating since the announcement that funding to NASA would EH FXW VLJQLĂ€FDQWO\ LQ WKH FRPLQJ years. According to a source, NASA has spent countless taxpayer dollars searching for life on the once popular social networking website, MySpace. For those of you who don’t remember, MySpace, once thought to be only a fabled internet land that preceded )DFHERRN KDV EHHQ FRQĂ€UPHG WR RQFH have held life. After the Zuckerberg Invasion of 2004, however, it was clear that all life had been terminated with one swift “poke.â€? Since the invasion, NASA has been adamant on proving that there may still be hope for MySpace. So adamant, it seems, that they were willing to spend millions of dollars to send a rover nicknamed “Tom 2.0â€? into cyberland. So far, it has turned up nothing but the shadows of a man in a white shirt, a band called “Ballz to the Wallzâ€? and Justin Timberlake.

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Eight Students Dead in “Magicâ€? Bus Crash 'VE^IH XIEGLIV XEOIW GPEWW SR MXW ½REP ½IPH XVMT By Lizzy Rosenberg

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

A

Ă€HOG WULS DW :DONHUYLOOH Elementary School went awry last Monday when fourth grade teacher Ms.Valerie Frizzle led her class on a suicide/homicide mission. With the entire class and her pet lizard Liz aboard, Frizzle drove a Walkerville school bus straight off a IRRW FOLII LQWR D Ă€HU\ WLUH SLW DW D nearby dump. According to a Post-­It note she left on her desk, Frizzle was intending to drive them to the sun as a punishment for their recent bad behavior. The note read: “The Magic School Bus takes outer-­ space: what happens when the darlings need a lesson on etiquette!â€? For years, Frizzle’s class has written their RZQ Ă€FWLRQDO WHOHYLVLRQ VKRZ known as “The Magic School Bus.â€? They based it off the wild lessons Ms. Frizzle teaches them, creating wacky adventures and stories to make learning fun. In their animated television show, Frizzle leads the class on seemingly impossible travels to outer space, the ocean and to the insides of plants and animals, on a transformable and anthropomorphic EXV 7KLV UHĂ HFWV KRZ )UL]]OH WHDFKHV because she likes to conduct her lessons as if the class were actually at the location of the subject she’s discussing. Based on Frizzle’s note written prior to the incident, it appears that she actually believed they actually had a “magicâ€? school bus that could go anywhere, including an unsuccessful Ă€HOG WULS WR WKH VXQ 8QIRUWXQDWHO\ WKH bus was burned up from the blazing intensity of the dump’s tire-­pit. Luckily for investigators, assorted debris was located from the accident, including the bus’ black box. Along ZLWK ZKDW FRXOG EH LGHQWLĂ€HG DV the cold-­blooded elementary school teacher’s maniacal laughter, the

44

lizard’s hissing and children’s screams were the only sounds to be heard prior to combustion. One student, Tim Jamal, could be heard toward the end of recording, shouting his catchphrase, “we were frizzled!� Student Phoebe Terese was heard at the end of the recording, yelling, “None of this would have happened at my old school!� Before the children realized Frizzle’s awful intentions, they appeared to be completely

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Er oblivious. ika Fe ldm Students Keesha an Franklin, Carlos Ramon and Wanda Li were heard discussing their future afternoon plans. While they each expressed their excitement to attend their respective diversity clubs later in the day, they also appeared to be excited for next week’s lesson, which was scheduled to be about childbirth. Police investigators are still wondering what it was that drove Frizzle over the edge. Fellow teacher Mr. Nigel Ratburn told reporters Valerie Frizzle had been acting extremely strange in the days leading up to the tragedy. “She was talking in the faculty lounge the other day about how her students were getting on her nerves, and how she wanted to just drive them to the sun and leave them there,� he said. “I didn’t think she seriously thought that was possible!� Colleague Mrs. Poppy Puff was also questioned. She mentioned that Frizzle had been acting erratic.

“After Ralphie spilled glue on the carpet, I overheard her saying that her anger was burning w i t h the intensity of a thousand suns, but I took that as a mere expression!â€? she said. “I thought her projects and stories were products of good fun and innovation.â€? Student Arnold Perlstein was also TXHVWLRQHG DERXW WKH GHDGO\ Ă€HOG WULS He solemnly replied, “I’m so glad I stayed home today!â€? According to Perlstein, some of Frizzle’s lessons were somewhat terrifying. It was clear Frizzle actually believed in the embellished stories she would tell her class. He said that it was a daily struggle to get to school, constantly fearing a tragedy like this might happen. “I always knew she was a little off of her r ocker,â€?

Perlstein said. “I knew something like this would happen. I wasn’t just being paranoid!â€? This case is under investigation, and a medical history of Valerie Frizzle is still being located. Based on the circumstances of the event and testimonies of other Walkerville citizens, investigators have reason to believe that Valerie Frizzle may have been a raging psychopath and FRPSOHWHO\ XQĂ€W WR WHDFK \RXQJ children for as long as she did. ____________________________________ Lizzy Rosenberg is a freshman CMD major who prefers Bill Nye the Science Guy. Email her at erosenb3@ithaca. edu.

The Mars Rover Diaries 8LI XVYI WXSV] SJ E VSFSX PIJX XS HMI SR XLI FMK VIH VSGO By Chris Thomas Day 1:

I made it! Oh my goodness gracious, this is so very exciting. I’d like to thank all the scientists that created me and helped me through this ordeal; without them I wouldn’t be here — literally. I’d also like to thank Houston, who has always been there whenever I’ve had any problems. ,W¡V EHHQ DOPRVW D \HDU VLQFH , Ă€UVW launched, and let me tell you I was quite cramped. I really needed a bathroom break! But now I’m here. I miss my friends a little, like the Head Scientist’s car, or the blender in the staff break room. But I don’t mind leaving them because I’ll be home soon enough to share with them all my adventures. Besides, this is what I was made for! This is my destiny. I have to go explore and get settled in so I’ll write more later. Curiosity out!

advanced robotic intellect, I’d predict that this planet is 86.67465% cleaner than my old one. But I’m wasting time. NASA needs me! Curiosity out!

Day 15:

, IRXQG WKLV FRRO SODFH ÀOOHG ZLWK dirt, oh wait that’s everywhere! Haha! , KDYH \HW WR ÀQG DQ\WKLQJ XVHIXO EXW I remain hopeful! In science we trust!

Day 20: Found a rock.

Day 31: Found another rock. Day 39:

&DQ¡W Ă€QG DQ\WKLQJ RWKHU WKDQ rocks.

Day 45:

Day 8:

I’m getting sick of these rocks.

Day 53:

I’m cold. So very cold.

Day 56:

Not going to lie, I’m getting annoyed. I just found a way to hack into the news networks back home and NO ONE IS PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO ME! It was just Obama this, Romney that, like I don’t even exist! Even the scientists rarely talk to me. Okay, I admit it, I still haven’t found anything great, but there’s so much planet to explore! I wish they’d believe in me. I want to go home‌

Day 64:

I still haven’t seen anything remotely alive, and I feel so alone. My free 1HWà L[ WULDO MXVW H[SLUHG 1RZ what am I supposed to do?

, WRRN VRPH VRLO VDPSOHV IRU WKH ÀUVW time and I’m analyzing them. I’m not VXUH ZK\ LW WRRN GD\V WR ÀQDOO\ take samples, but I’m not going to complain.

Day 280:

I lost my diary for 180 days. I lost my way when I went too far south from the landing site, and there weren’t any landmarks to keep track of my location, so it took a long time WR Ă€QG P\ ZD\ EDFN 2K EXW \RX¡OO never guess what I found! DIRT.

Day 290:

I was just watching the news, and I found out that NASA is sending a rover to Mercury now. Maybe this is a good thing, I mean, now that there will be two of us, Earth will pay more attention to us! It’s not like he’s my replacement‌ Right?

Day 300:

I just got grave news. I’m not going back. They never expected me to go back even, it was all just a horrible trick. The Mercury Rover is getting all their funds. I’m just‌ abandoned. THEY’RE LEAVING ME HERE TO DIE! But, you know what, who cares about WKRVH ÀOWK\ KXPDQV RQ WKHLU ÀOWK\ planet. I’m going to go live with the space monkeys. I’m sure they’re here somewhere, abandoned, just like me. Oh, by the way I found ice yesterday, but I didn’t tell anyone. Take that, humans. For the last time, Curiosity out.

_________________________________

Chris Thomas is a freshman television radio and audio production major who thinks Mars needs more Roombas. Email him at cthomas5@ithaca.edu.

Image by Karen Rich

45

Sawdust

It’s been a week and I cannot express how much fun I’m having here. I’ve been searching nonstop for VRPH URFNV DQG ZLOGOLIH DQG ÀQJHUV crossed, water. However, I haven’t been successful yet. I do hope I’m not upsetting the folks back home. I know they’re counting on me. I saw how the humans live and how wasteful they FDQ EH DQG , JLYH WKHP DERXW ÀYH years until the whole planet collapses under the trash. With the exception of the excessive red dirt everywhere, it’s pretty clean here. Based on my

Day 100:

Alien Anchor Babies Plague America

8LI RI[ QMRSVMX] LEW EVVMZIH F] WTEGIWLMT IQFV]S TSHW ERH XLI] [ERX ]SYV NSF By Spencer Pereira

A

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

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fter months of speculation, it is apparent that aliens are succeeding in their sinister plot to conquer America, The Great-­ est Nation on Earth. A spokes-­ man for the Alien Defense Agen-­ cy (ADA) claims several million aliens from the planet Theanus have successfully beguiled im-­ PLJUDWLRQ RIĂ€FLDOV DQG DUH QRZ wreaking havoc all over the coun-­ try. The vermin are dropping an-­ chor babies across the United States, with claims to in-­ alienable rights to citizenship. Alien anchor babies, scheming little brats born of extra-­ terrestrial parents seeking to leverage their child’s citizenship for per-­ sonal gain, have been spot-­ ted crawling around urban areas squealing in various pitches to summon their slimy parents. Residents are now feel-­ ing the effects of their presence as the blatant hijacking of American jobs and tax dollars continues. “These damned extraterrestrials want one thing and one thing only ‌ our jobs!â€? Dexter Blinks, a Texas resident said. +LV RSLQLRQ UHĂ HFWV PDQ\ SHR-­ ples’ fears the aliens’ excessive ambition now stands in the way of working-­class citizens. In this economy, the line of recent college graduates looking to put their freshly printed political science di-­ plomas to work at their local Burger King has no end. Even get-­ ting into college now proves an ardu-­ ous task as the aliens look to rob us of our education as well. After her recent arrest for driving D WUXFN LQWR WKH DGPLVVLRQV RIĂ€FH at Countryside Community College, parent Sally Perkins commented: “My boy applied to one school with a 2.5 GPA and very high ACT score of 19, and didn’t get in. This is outra-­ geous. I know these extraterrestrial folk is the reason why. But they can’t even speak English!â€? Now even global warming joins

46

the long list of proven side effects from the foreign invasion. The aliens’ new discovery of our hu-­ man technology and experimen-­ tal use of cars has sent vast amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere, kill-­ ing thousands of inno-­ FHQW SRODU EHDUV DQG Ă€OO-­ ing the lungs of children with harmful toxins. As if taking our jobs, our education and con-­ tami-­ n a t -­ i n g our atmo-­ sphere didn’t VXIĂ€FH WKH brazen bums jump at any chance they get to remind us of their pendulum-­like boot constantly striking our balls. It’s every-­ where: the shim-­ mering sign reading Bishmano (alien for “bathroomâ€?), or the radio station spewing out ir-­ ritating a l i e n pop music — inescapable signs they are taking over. It’s even driving some people insane. “You can’t even watch T.V. in our language anymore. What’s next, our porn? Two words: learn American. It’s not that hard. I did it,â€? said Bob Bushwhacker, a re-­ cently unemployed construction worker from Los Angeles. “Every time you go out in public it’s like a little alien sits perched on your shoulder, const18thantly whis-­ pering: Hey, hey you. Sorry your planet is ruined, but we’re in this

together now pal, you and me. Except the damn threat isn’t even in English!â€? Much like Arizona law SB 1070, U.S. lawmakers are considering drafting a bill that would require new aliens and their anchor babies to carry citizenship documentation at all times or risk im-­ mediate deportation from the planet. More and more stringent action like this will work well to wipe away the perva-­ VLYH Ă€OWK PXGG\LQJ RXU VRFLHW\ “Round ‘em up and give ‘em the boot!â€? cried hundreds of supporters at a Young Americans for a Better Future rally last week. The “round-­ and-­bootâ€? method seeks to put hun-­ dreds of ex-­cowboys back to work as they tour farms all over the nation, las-­ soing aliens and guiding them toward Kennedy Space Station in Houston, Texas. The pack would then board the newly built “Savior Shuttleâ€? for a one-­ way trip back to their third-­world home-­ stead. Former presidential candidate Mitt Romney prefers the self-­deportation method for the new alien minority. Romney hopes aliens will one day take it upon themselves to pack up, remove their baby anchors and travel home in WKHLU UDPVKDFNOH Ă \LQJ FDUGERDUG VDX-­ cers. “This plan uses the least amount of taxpayer dollars and proves the most practical compared to other methods,â€? said self-­deportation activist Terrance Johnson. If the moral revelation doesn’t surface naturally, incentives can cer-­ tainly be provided. With no jobs, no money and a realization the “American dreamâ€? is only for Americans, the aliens will see the same familiar, hopeless out-­ look they experienced in their home-­ land. Once these vagrants leave, the results ZLOO EHQHĂ€W HYHU\RQH :LWK DEXQGDQW jobs in fast food, construction and ag-­ riculture opening back up, Americans will be able to return to their low-­paying and menial, yet honest jobs. And if they don’t leave, aliens will soon learn that adopting the American dream comes with a broken economy, a struggling job market and eventual obesity. ______________________________________ Spencer Pereira is a freshman IMC major who refuses to press 1 for English. Email him at spereir1@ithaca.edu.

Horoscopes

we haven’t sold IC to Cornell yet

By Karen Muller

SAGITTARIUS

I

November 22nd - December 21st Your diet will take an interesting twist this month when you discover the vegan burgers you’ve grown to love are made IRXMVIP] JVSQ XLI ¾IWL SJ EGXYEP ZIKERW

CAPRICORN

December 22nd - January 19th A bloated Jupiter is in the third house, meaning that your friends and family will ½REPP] PIEVR XS ETTVIGMEXI XLI 8[MROMI hoarding problem you’ve struggled with for years.

AQUARIUS

January 20th - February 18th Hey Aquarius, ever fancied yourself a TV star? Perfect! Mars is passing into retrograde, meaning that within the month, you’ll become nationally famous as the subject of a 48 Hours Mystery.

Image by Anika Steppe

CANCER

June 21st - July 20th It’s been said that when one door closes, ERSXLIV HSSV STIRW FYX ]SY´PP WSSR ½RH that this rule does not apply to jail cells.

Leo

July 21st - August 22nd % ¾EQFS]ERX 7EXYVR [MPP YVKI ]SY XS VI½RI ]SYV TIVWSREP WX]PI XLMW QSRXL ½nally giving you the courage to grow that mullet you’ve been wanting for years.

PISCES

VIRGO

February 19th - March 20th Your children will witness a morbidly obese, bearded man breaking into your house around the 25th of the month, but the police will never believe you.

August 23rd - September 22nd You’ll be a huge hit at the ugly Christmas sweater parties this season, which makes sense, since you’ve been practicing for an awfully long time.

ARIES

LIBRA

March 21st - April 19th All the world’s a stage — and you, Aries, were always destined to work in props.

April 20th - May 20th A pretentious Mercury takes its toll. You’ll soon develop a disturbing obsession with semicolons; they make you feel fancy.

GEMINI

May 21st - June 20th You’ll have a life-changing epiphany this month when you realize that anything that can’t be done from the comfort of a Snuggie isn’t worth doing at all.

September 23rd - October 22nd Brace yourself, Libra. It’s the end of the world as we know it, but as it turns out 6)1 [EW NYWX WE]MRK EPP XLEX ±JIIP ½RI² stuff to make you feel better.

SCORPIO

October 23rd - November 21st According to a hormonal Venus, things will really get hot and heavy for you this month, due to an unexpected December heat wave and the onset of a terrible glandular problem. ______________________________ Karen Muller is a junior IMC major who is a feisty Taurus but DO NOT put her in a room with an Aries. Email her at kmuller1@ ithaca.edu.

n President Rochon’s last blog post, he spoke of “serious” concerns for coming years at Ithaca College. Rising tuition and increasing online university competition have left IC crawling toward success. The Board of Trustees has been working fervently alongside President Rochon to move our campus in a more corporate direction. In fact, this month, Huron EduGEXMSR E GSVTSVEXI GSRWYPXMRK ½VQ MW SR campus conducting an Effectiveness and Affordability Review (yes, 3J½GI 7TEGI style). So before the president reveals his plan, Buzzsaw would like to offer our suggestion. In order to ensure that students want to attend our school, that the education is worth more than $50,000 and that our students are ready to do more than go bankrupt, we need to sell out. With an Ivy League institution right next door that boasts a formidable reputation, there’s no reason for us to stand on our own any longer. Here’s what we can offer to Cornell: -WAY better view of the lake -BRAND NEW, $500 billion, barely used Athletic & Events Center that can do almost anything but hold concerts, basketball games, or most other special events and sports. But, it lights up! -Beautiful fountains that work on average of three days a year (and also light up!) -Mascot is so ambiguous that it could be easily absorbed into a Big Red Bomber. -Reigning champions of the world-renowned Cortaca Jug, despite a recent three-year stint of losses. -La Vincita Café: an ingeniously authentic Italian eatery whose menu consists of items IRXMVIP] QEHI JVSQ ¾EXFVIEH ¯ IZIR FVIEOfast paninis. -Only business school in the entire galaxy XLEX MW 4PEXMRYQ 0))( 'IVXM½IH ;I´VI RSX sure what that means, but maybe you can ½KYVI MX SYX -Though Cornell students may be smarter, IC students are more attractive. God doesn’t give with both hands, so now is our chance to merge and create the perfect balance of diversity on one campus. We agree with Rochon in that, “If we respond to these challenges with vision and determination, however, we have an opportunity to create an Ithaca College that is RSX SRP] ½RERGMEPP] WSYRH FYX EPWS FIXXIV and more respected than ever.” IT’S TIME FOR A BAIL OUT.

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Sawdust

Taurus

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Buzzsaw Asks Why...

48

BUZZSAW: The Galaxy Issue

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