The Tape Issue

BUZZSAW the tape issue a sticky situation may 2020

comment It is May 2020. The world is really fucking weird right now.

Though we didn’t plan this theme around the coronavirus pandemic, it feels somewhat fitting that Tape would fall under these times. Tape, a tool that we all use to stick things together, to correct mistakes, and to hold things up. In a time where an unpredictable and relentless virus tears families and communities apart, it’s important now more than ever that we try our best to stick together.

And thus, Buzzsaw presents Tape; our first (to my knowledge) issue that was made entirely remotely.

Over Zoom calls, emails, text messages and group chat messages, Buzzsaw’s diligent writers and editors worked together to create another issue for the Spring 2020 semester. Between the closure of Ithaca College, external bureaucratic difficulties, and our twentieth anniversary, Buzzsaw has seen, admittedly, a strange year. But as always, Buzzsaw has persisted and continued to fulfill its mission: to be a publication that publishes progressive original creative journalism, commentary and satire that works to deconstruct society, pop culture, politics, college life and dominant Western beliefs. Tape feels like a fitting end to this year, to this chapter of Buzzsaw—sticking together when challenges threaten to rip us apart.

We’re not sure when the pandemic will end, or what the world will look like from that point onward, but we do know for sure that Buzzsaw will continue in spite of hardship and separation. The saw sticks together; the saw doesn’t stop.

Managing Editor News & Views Upfront Seesaw Ministry of Cool Prose & Cons Sawdust Layout Art Web & Social Photography & Dividers Copyediting Production Advisor Founders

Printer

Audra Joiner Christian Maitre Rachael Powles James Baratta Audra Joiner James Baratta Julia Batista Mateo Flores Jason Langford Kimberly Morgan Isabel Murray Mae McDermott Adam Dee Julia Batista Joe Minissale Kevin Gyasi-Frempah Sara Borsari Brennan Carney Carlos Figueroa Abby Bertumen Kelly Burdick Bryan Chambala Sam Costello Thom Denick Cole Louison Arnold Printing Co.

a big ol’ dedication to our exiting editors: Kim, Mateo, and Isabel.

Write Us!

Our magazine exists to inspire thoughtful debate and open up the channels through which information is shared. Your comments and feedback are all a part of this process. Reach the editors by email at: buzzsawmag@gmail.com.

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News & Views

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Current events, local news and quasi-educated opinions.

Upfront

Selected dis-education of the month.

Ministry of Cool

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Prose & Cons Sawdust

44 50

Seesaw

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Arts, entertainment and other things cooler than us.

Short fiction, personal essay and other assorted lies.

Threatening the magazine’s credibility since 1856.

Multimedia madness.

Senior Buzzbyes pages 42-43

The South Hill COVID-19 Recap page 11

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news&views

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For

God and

Country

Two institutions ignoring government orders on the grounds of religion // by Alyssa Spady, Staff Writer

Editors’ Note: All statistics in this article were up to date at the time of printing.

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t is not an exaggeration when people talk about how we all are living in very different times. With the outbreak of COVID-19, our lives have been turned upside down.

Governments both here at home and abroad have essentially shut down all aspects of our daily lives in order to flatten the curve and hopefully prevent the continuing mass spread of the disease. With global cases at well over one million, the United States has quickly become the leading nation in cases with over 362,000 and growing. This has prompted governors from all but 4 states to issue the closing of nonessential services. The closings have left only businesses such as health care facilities, manufacturing and infrastructure entities, trash collections, law enforcement and homeless shelters open. Businesses like bars and restaurants have moved to take-out or delivery options to limit the amount of face-to-face contact. But despite all of the restrictions, there has been pushback from various businesses and schools that oppose being forced to close. Two giants that are headlining this are Hobby Lobby and Liberty University.

Hobby Lobby is no stranger to controversy. The craft store giant is owned by David and Barabara Green, who are widely known, and outspoken, about their support of Christian organizations. Known as one of the largest donors to the Evangelical church, the store has had numerous legal battles. In 2014, the Supreme Court heard Burwell v. Hobby Lobby, a case that argued whether or not Hobby Lobby was forced to give employees access to contraceptives even if

it came in conflict with the company’s religious beliefs. The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby, allowing the continuation of barring access to contraceptives to Hobby Lobby employees. Once again, the arts and crafts superstore finds themselves in the headlines for using their religion as a means to continue to exploit their employees and make money. In a statement reportedly made by CEO, David Green, Green declared that the stores would remain open because of what his wife Barbara experienced during her prayer. Green said “In her quiet prayer time this past week, the Lord put on Barbara’s heart three profound words to remind us that He’s in control. Guide, Guard and Groom.”

Green continues in his statement to his employees that they, along with the many others, do not know what the future will hold, but that “we can all rest in knowing that God is in control.” It is these statements that have led to outrage against the company’s negligence and flat out lack of care for the safety of their employees, as well as potential patrons.

In a statement on their website from early March, Hobby Lobby announced that they would remain open in states without mandatory stay at home orders, but keep the health of all of their employees and shoppers in mind.

Enhanced cleanings, restricted domestic employee travel and increasing the availability of items on their online stores were all part of their plan to keep the shops running.

The enhanced cleaning part was very confusing due to its vagueness. The company stated: “We have increased the frequency of store cleaning, including more cleaning of areas regularly touched by customers and employees, with antiviral cleaning products throughout the day.” Nowhere does it

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describe specific actions that they will be taking, such as employees wearing protective masks, gloves and an increase in hand sanitizers available to patrons and workers. They also failed to mention whether or not they have highlighted spots near the checkout areas to keep in line with the governmentrecommended six feet distance between people.

In a second statement, Hobby Lobby announced April 3 that they would be temporarily closing all of their stores, going against the strong front they put up in the beginning. Even though the company has now taken into consideration the health of their employees and customers, they have still caused damage. In the prior statement released in early March, Hobby Lobby mentioned that it would be monitoring, as well as restricting, employees’ domestic travel. In the event that an employee got sick, they would tell them to self-isolate and get tested (if possible).

What they didn’t mention were the tremendous injustices that the company would be doing to those employees if they found themselves sick or too concerned with their own wellbeing or the wellbeing of their families. In an internal memo that was sent by Hobby Lobby, the company explained its plan for what would happen in the worst-case scenario. If stores were forced to close (which they are now), employees would be required to use their vacation and personal days. Once those days run out, the employee would be forced to receive 75% of their regular rate pay.

The regular rate pay is determined not by their regularly scheduled shifts, but by the average amount of hours in the last six weeks. However, an even more aggressive approach was taken with those employees who became sick. If an employee becomes sick, they would have to use their vacation and sick days to compensate for their missed time.

But if they used up all of those days, they would be forced to take an unpaid leave of absence until they were able to return to work. The system forces employees who are making $15.70 per hour full-time and $10.45 per hour part-time, in a position where they must put their health at risk to make sure that they can pay the bills and possibly help to provide for their families.

Now that Hobby Lobby has been forced to close stores, they have flipped their commitment to their employees, leaving them in the cold. In their April statement that announced the closing of their stores, they also laid out what would happen to now furloughed employees. Hobby Lobby employees are now being put in a position where they will not be able to receive emergency leave pay. Combined with the suspension of the company’s provided paid time off benefits, employees will now be forced to enroll with the government to see if they are eligible to receive Pandemic Unemployment Compensation and Recovery Rebates.

Hobby Lobby also encouraged furloughed employees to “file their claims with their State’s unemployment commissions as soon as possible.” They will continue to

provide all employees with medical, dental, life and longterm disability benefits, but this will only last to “at least May 1, 2020.” While this may seem generous to some people, what they do not recognize is that other companies like Gap and H&M are still paying their employees even though they are not able to work in person in their stores. Hobby Lobby still claims in their April statement that they sell “essential products, including materials to make personal protective equipment, such as face masks, educational supplies for the countless parents who are now educating their children from home, and the thousands of small arts and crafts businesses who rely on us for supplies to make their products.”

Another institution that has hit the headlines during the COVID-19 outbreak has been Liberty University. The 4-year, private, Evangelical university in Virginia has given students the okay to come back to campus, even though the state’s governor has deemed it unsafe for colleges to continue in-person learning. It is home to over 45,000 students and is in a poorer area of Virginia, where lack of supplies could lead to catastrophic consequences. School President, Jerry Falwell Jr. called for students to come back to campus following their spring break. Although the college still provides full online classes, the temptation to be back in a community such as a college campus is strong for college students who could be missing their friends or their last semester of college. Falwell is also a well-known supporter of President Trump and has made statements calling the response to the pandemic an “overreaction” driven by liberal politics. As of March 29, nearly a dozen students had contacted the school’s health services complaining of COVID-19-like symptoms. The next day, a student tested positive for COVID-19. While on a far-right radio talk show, Falwell expressed his frustrations for being blamed, saying that the blame was only because “we’re conservative, we’re Christian and therefore we’re being attacked.” According to Falwell, students that had been traveling from hot areas such as New York state and city, as well as New Jersey, had been quarantined with school officials bringing them food and other necessities.

Hobby Lobby and Liberty University have shown the lengths that institutions and companies are willing to go to in order to remain open and defiant of a federal and state order when they feel it violates the thinly-veiled duty given to them

by God. Hobby Lobby has ceased to amaze many as they continue to use their religion as a means to game the system to benefit them financially. Liberty University, in an effort to give students a place to call home, has jeopardized the health and safety of a community already at a disadvantage because of their lack of resources. In both cases, the two refuse to look at those that they will be hurting in this process. But as Proverbs 22:16 says, “Whoever oppresses the poor for his own increase and whoever gives to the rich, both come to poverty.”

Alyssa Spady is a second-year journalism major who believes in science, you know, like everyone else in America should. You can reach them at aspady@ithaca.edu

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Homes Away from Home IC students face housing insecurity in the wake of cancellations // by Leo Baumbach. Staff Writer Editors’ Note: Names have been changed to protect the subjects’ privacy.

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he students of Ithaca College have recently had to grapple with the potential of homelessness come the Fall 2020 semester. The issue of homelessness became far more real when the coronavirus forced the campus to shut down, including the on-campus dorms which house around 4,600 students. Students were notified during spring break of a temporary shutdown which would extend until April 5, while many of us are in other states or countries. The college allowed us until 5 p.m. on Sunday, March 15 to retrieve any items from our dorms.

Shortly after March 15 another email was sent out, notifying students of a permanent shutdown of campus and subsequently on-campus housing. Some expected the announcement, while others were confused. Some expected the notice sooner, seeing no point in dragging out the inevitable when so many other schools had shut down for the academic year. This notice did not include much information on how students would be able to make their way back to campus and reclaim any personal items.

Since pandemics are an uncommon occurrence, few schools have policies or plans in place for how to respond to. Across the ravine, Cornell moved most of their students off campus by having everyone come and get their stuff in a specific time frame. The issue of personal items is also more relevant when you have a place to return to and store them safely.

Students at Ithaca College were given the option to apply to remain on campus under certain circumstances.

International students, students with domestic abuse issues, and unstable home lives seemed like easy candidates but not all of them applied. When asked why she didn’t apply, one student, Emma, said she figured it would be inconvenient and ended up staying with a friend and her family. Emma is from the Pacific Northwest originally, until her parents moved to Guatemala. While she is in a very rare situation, it is risky. Insurance is one of the larger issues at play and without proper insurance, she is at great risk during a global pandemic that has claimed the lives of tens of thousands of people.

Chris, an international student from Nepal, is in a similar situation to Emma. Like many, he was forced into a last-minute scramble to arrange travel, in his case to his un-

cle’s house in California. He says that he is fortunate to have a support system of family and friends that live in the United States but many international students are not so lucky. This was coupled with the way that international students were handled during this crisis. According to Chris, international students received an email from Ithaca College concerning the campus shutdown but also received an email from the Office of International Programs. The emails seemed to have differing tones, the one from student affairs seemingly discouraging students from taking advantage of the limited emergency on-campus housing and the one from the office of international programs encouraging and reassuring. In one of the emails from the president of the college, it was implied that international students will be considered separately and the college even offered to pay for travel out of the US, which could imply to some students, including Chris, that the school would be able to accommodate them. Chris remained in constant contact with other international students as he worked for the Office of International Programs and he says that students were able to find a place to stay in America. Many students feel they are at risk in the United States and are worried that their visas may become void or about violence against Asian people and foreign people in general. Students that have left the country worry about international travel bans that may extend into next semester, causing further issues with their education.

Many students come to college and breathe a sigh of relief knowing that they are in a safe place and that they are mostly free to be who they choose and act as they please within the limits of reasonability. Some students now have to return to unstable or abusive home situations during a time they would otherwise not be there. Queer and trans students along with students with mental health issues are at the greatest risk for this. CAPS has taken this into consideration and most of their therapists are available on call for sessions over the phone but this is sometimes not enough. Some students are couch surfing or unsure where to go, trapped in between homes where they are not welcome and a school that is unsafe to inhabit. Those students are numerous, and we all know someone who dreads the holidays and says a tearful goodbye come summer, not only because of what they leave but what they return to.

Leo Baumbach is a second-year English major whose couch is always available. You can reach them at lbaumbach@ithaca.edu.

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upfront

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Social Media Shifts Trends in Thrift and Resale Culture Intersection of entrepreneurship, activism and looking fly as heck //

by Carly Swanson, Contributing Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

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hen Tiffany Fergeson, known on YouTube as tiffanyferg, started posting thrift hauls at 16 years old in 2012, she was one of few amongst her peers doing so. “I don’t remember those being very popular back then,” Fergeson said. “I can’t pinpoint exactly when thrift content started to gain momentum, but I think Emma Chamberlain played a big role in popularizing ‘thrifted style,’ at least among her audience.”

Emma Chamberlain is an influencer amongst an emerging class of teenagers and young adults with some of the biggest sway in their age cohort—amassing over 8 million subscribers on YouTube and nearly 9 million followers on Instagram.

Many of these influencers post funny vlogs and hauls of their latest purchases and some have a focus on fashion specifically.

Ashley, who only goes by her first name or her YouTube handle, bestdressed, has one of the fastest growing channels in the scope of fashion and lifestyle content on YouTube with 3 million subscribers. This year, she attended New York Fashion Week in almost entirely thrifted outfits. In her vlog of the week’s events she explained, “It’s the most unique stuff in my wardrobe, and I also just really wanted somebody to ask who I was wearing and I could tell them I got it for like five dollars at a GoodWill.”

Many creators like Ashley who have a passion for vintage clothing and rummaging through thrift stores often also start their own online stores through apps like Depop, or even on their own website or Instagram page. Whether it be selling their own used clothes, or shopping secondhand for the sake of selling online, many young people have taken to this entrepreneurial spirit.

Sisters Stephanie, Jackie and Caroline Homan acknowledge Ashley and other influencers and brands as inspiration for their Instagram shop SJC Thrift. Stephanie is 26 years old and works in healthcare in Cincinnati, Ohio, Jackie is 24 years old and Style Editor at Jetsetter.com and Caroline is 18 years old in Cincinnati, studying fashion and retail at The Ohio State University. They launched SJC Thrift in March of 2020 to show each of their individual styles and finds from their own cities.

Scrolling through the sisters’ feed (@sjc.thrift on insta), viewers will find high-waisted denim, long dresses, silk button-ups and knit turtlenecks—some of the most sought after styles that trendy teens look for when setting out for a trip to the thrift store, minus the hassle of spending hours examining each rack. When it comes to finding these pieces “I always look for inspiration before a thrifting trip,”

Stephanie said. “I’ll check out Instagram for any posts I saved recently and see what’s new from stores and brands I like. I try to strike a balance between searching for specific trends and keeping an eye out for classic, timeless items.”

Known by her first name or brand, There She Goes, Anna is a content creator and vintage shop owner based in Toronto, Canada, who also uses social media to shop, sell and find fashion inspiration. Her YouTube channel provides her 71,000 subscribers with thrift and vintage hauls, styling tutorials and vlogs. In the last few years, Anna has started a vintage shop on Depop, and then shifted to creating her own online store, There She Goes Vintage. All of her pieces in her store draw from inspiration of Parisian lifestyle and fashion.

“I remember starting making thrifting content back in 2015 when thrifting and reselling wasn’t such a massive thing online and I noticed a shift happening sometime around 2017 and more of a shift in 2018 where people started to notice the effects of fast fashion and global warming,” Anna said.

Like Anna and other fashion-conscious young people, the Homan sisters started to learn about the environmental impact of the fashion industry from college courses, reading articles online and watching documentaries like The True Cost—a film comparable to Cowspiracy in its impact converting meat eaters to vegetarians and Blackfish in cancelling Seaworld—which unpacks the harm that the fashion industry makes in the environment and toward its underpaid and overworked factory employees.

“When we shop for ourselves, we try to limit fast fashion and instead go for ethical brands or thrifted clothing that is more sustainable by nature,” Caroline of SJC thrift said. “Thrifting is an awesome way to refresh our wardrobes without buying something new and to give clothes we’ve already worn a second life with someone else.”

Many YouTube and Instagram influencers have also begun to incorporate thrifting into their shopping habits and encourage their followers to do so as well. This surge of ecofriendly shopping prestige has accumulated 3.2 million posts under the hashtag #thrifting and just over 842,000 posts under #thriftfinds. Each post with users showing off their latest and greatest secondhand finds while simultaneously reducing their carbon footprint.

Over ten years after starting her YouTube channel, Tiffany Fergeson has grown to a platform of 546,000 subscribers and creates YouTube videos that dissect elements of internet culture and its greater impact on society—frequently discussing topics including fast fashion, sustainability and consumerism.

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“I think it’s overall a good thing,” Fergeson said.

“I’d rather thrifting and shopping secondhand be trendy… rather than be something to feel shame over. Especially when you’re young, it’s terrifying to think someone might notice and make fun of you if your clothes are off-brand or not stylish.”

Now, it might even be considered cool to have off-brand clothing, or pieces that are not standardly stylish.

Teenagers on Tik Tok post outfit videos showing off clunky boots, cropped polo shirts, newsboy caps, and jackets with grandma-esque embroidery. The strangest pieces are often the most prized finds–and even stranger pieces can be made into something new by getting a little crafty.

Fergeson finds that the trendiness of thrift shopping comes along with conversations about socio-economic class.

She said that when she was young, she grew up buying things from consignment and thrift stores and always felt embarrassed. However, a big topic in secondhand fashion is the gentrification of thrift stores.

Middle-class moms that once scoffed at the grit and grime of thrift stores now watch intently as an Etsy resale expert discusses tips on how to find designer items in thrift stores with Hoda and Jenna on the TODAY Show. Instead of finding a new summer wardrobe at Forever 21, their kids may prefer finding unique vintage t-shirts and cropping them by following a Tik Tok DIY tutorial. In most of these cases, these shoppers are popping tags with over twenty dollars in their pocket.

Wealthier areas are turning thrift stores into a more luxurious shopping experience with the additions of Goodwill boutiques. These stores hold inventory of designer and high end brands selected from the batches of donations from Goodwill centers. Instead of getting thrown into the ring with thousands of other items in the megastores with fluorescent lighting and dusty fitting rooms, these pieces get a more glamorous second life. The smaller, curated, and more expensive boutiques attract an older audience

that does not have the same ‘hunting for gems’ mentality as younger thrifty shoppers.

Anna said, “My experience for a Goodwill boutique has been great but I personally prefer regular Goodwills since they have a lot more to choose from and the prices are lower and the stores are a lot larger.”

These boutiques started popping up in 2013 and grew alongside the spike in the popularity of shopping second hand via internet culture. This growth has not impacted the standard Goodwill donation store besides limiting the designer supply.

Jackie finds consistency in her Goodwill shopping.

She said that the stores typically have a few racks of slightly more expensive designer items and the rest of the clothing remains affordable.

“I personally haven’t noticed price increases over time at the stores we typically shop at, but there are certain types of items that are harder to find because they’re trendy—like Levi’s “mom jeans,” for example. I think those used to be pretty abundant in thrift stores, and now they’re more of a rare find. But pricing at stores like Goodwill seems consistent to me...I’ve found that New York donation-based stores sometimes have prices that are higher than those in Ohio, which makes sense given the overall higher cost of living in New York.”

Stores like Goodwill have standardized prices across their stores, but have the ability to change them independently. This means that in the future stores could raise their prices based on the demand of their products, even if they are a nonprofit.

Anna said that it is up to the retailer to keep prices as low as possible.

“I don’t think the issue is with the consumers massively purchasing at thrift stores...in my opinion, it starts with the thrift stores that need to make prices more affordable for the low-income earners, as I do see a huge spike in prices at thrift stores. The prices are almost the same as purchasing them brand new.”

Jackie and her sisters take these issues into consideration when cultivating their store. Above all, they aim to make their clothing accessible to shoppers and to be aware of their impact in the resale market.

Jackie said that this nuanced consciousness is important because “...environmental issues are intricately tied to social justice issues. Because the increase in people shopping at thrift stores over fast fashion is fairly new, it’s difficult to say what the class implications are, but I do think it is important for us to monitor any ramifications because overall, we hope to make a positive contribution through our store.”

Fergeson believes that while the trendiness of thrifting on social media raises questions about class and privilege, the influx is doing more good than harm. She said, “I understand the frustrations of people who thrift out of necessity because they can’t afford new, more expensive clothes, versus rich people who thrift for style only. But considering the amount of clothing that gets sent to landfills every day, I think there’s more than enough to go around.”

Carly Swanson is a junior journalism major who scours Pinterest for eco-friendly fashion statements. You can reach them at cswanson1@ithaca.edu.

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The South Hill COVID-19 Recap What you need to know about how the pandemic impacted the Ithaca College community //

by James Baratta, Upfront Editor, and Christian Maitre and Rachael Powles, News & Views Co-editors portrait by Caitlin Breslin, Staff Artist; art within by Adam Dee, Art Editor

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A Note: While it would have been ideal to include all the voices of those who have been affected, a select few members of our editorial team explored multiple angles and collectively reported on everything we encountered.

We recognize that our reportage does not give proper attention to the LGBTQA+ community, which has been disproportionately impacted by the novel Coronavirus pandemic, nor does it bring forth the entirety of issues facing the greater Ithaca and Ithaca College community. Buzzsaw would like to thank those who provided insight into their personal experiences and challenges during this difficult time, as this piece couldn’t have been accomplished without you.

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n March 6, 2020, Mayson Sonntag sat in the basement of Feinstein’s/54 Below club in New York City watching his friends perform in their senior musical theatre showcase.

The next morning, he flew to Florida with the intent to spend spring break at Disney with friends. On March 11, however, he awoke to an email from President Shirley M. Collado notifying students that Ithaca College would remain closed for the next month.

So began a hectic travel journey back to Sonntag’s hometown of Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, where he finally arrived on March 15.

“I was very lucky,” said Sonntag. “When I travel I always have my Visa with me. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to get back into the country.”

As per Canadian policy, Sonntag entered selfisolation in his home and planned to be isolated for 14 days.

“When I woke up the next day, I had a bit of a tight chest, a bit of a cough—I was a little confused but, hey, I’ve had colds before—it just seemed like a cold,” he said. “ As the days went by the tightness got worse. I didn’t have a fever, but my throat was really hurting. I had a bad headache and I was really tired all the time, so my mom thought it was better for me just to get tested.”

Five days later, Mayson Sonntag tested positive for COVID-19. His life, like so many others, would never be the same.

The Long Road Home

Kevin Gyasi-Frempah is an Ithaca College student who lives in Texas—26 hours away from Ithaca by car and nearly three hours away by plane. His typical commute home also requires two connecting flights. Due to the pandemic, the college asked most students to leave campus while it closed briefly and had online classes for two weeks. GyasiFrempah asked the Office of Residential Life (ResLife) if he could stay on campus until the college returned to business as usual, but he encountered a problem.

“They told me they would only let international students whose countries have travel bans stay on campus,” he said. Gyasi-Frempah would have to leave campus. His plans changed once again when the college announced that remote instruction would replace on-site learning for the remainder of the semester.

Gyasi-Frempah flew to his home state of Texas, but had a layover in Philadelphia. He took all the necessary precautions to lessen his chances of contracting COVID-19.

“I even had alcohol wipes and I probably used 10 of them to wipe down my airplane seat for the first plane ride,” he said. “And for the second plane ride I wiped that [seat] down too.”

Ithaca College is home to students from 78 countries, and the question of whether they would be able to return home weighed heavily on most international students.

Sebastián de la Paz, a sophomore theatre studies major from Colombia, was torn at first over what to do.

“My mom really wanted me to come back while the border was still open, but I explained to her that testing was really limited here and the government hadn’t taken any steps yet,” he said. “So I knew the chances were that cases were really high and we just didn’t know about it yet.”

Like other Residential Assistants (RAs), the college originally asked de la Paz to remain on campus until April 5 to assist with the anticipated move-out. Once the campus suspended classes for the rest of the semester, however, he knew there was no going back. RAs received payment through April 5 and de la Paz’s other campus jobs, both as a President’s Host and office worker in the Office of International Affairs, had been terminated indefinitely. He also said that inflation in Colombia made it difficult for him to receive money from his parents.

In a recent statement, the college’s International Club expressed concern for members of its community: “Many of the international students have gone back home to their countries to be with their families or have remained in Ithaca or other parts of the U.S. And it moves us greatly how the international community has come to support and remain connected with one another in these times.”

No Walk in the Park After pro-fighter and public Jewish figure Aaron Greenberg dies in an anti-Semitic attack, his sister, Maddie, revisits key moments from their past in an effort to understand how boxing acted as a vessel for Aaron’s faith and humanity.

This is the logline for Ringside, a film directed by Michael Kaplan for his Senior Media Thesis class.

Kaplan is a senior cinema and photography major with a concentration in cinema production. He is one of many students who have since had to cease moving forward with their thesis films because of COVID-19. Kaplan said that he is one of the few seniors in his class determined to find a way to move forward with production after graduating in 2020.

“This doesn’t mean that it’s dead in the water,” he said. “I’m one of the few that decided this is still happening.

I’m not going to let a project that means a lot to me, die—I can’t let it just disappear.”

Nicole Villalobos, a senior television-radio major, was producing Ringside for her Production Management class. She had also been working on her own documentary film prior to the college’s transition to remote instruction.

Villalobos said that her and Kaplan were ready to shoot their film after spring break.

“We had several drafts of the script ready, we had our talent casted, we had locations locked, we had all of our props, all of our costumes—we were ready,” Villalobos said.

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“The week we would have gotten back from spring break was when we would have filmed.”

Of the 27 projects throughout the class’ three sections, only 10 have been able to go into production.

Most students are working in teams of two, with just two individuals doing solo projects—only one student opted to take the class “incomplete” and will return in the fall to complete their project. Diane Gayeski, dean of the Park School of Communications, said in her virtual address last March that the school may offer services to students looking to complete their thesis films.

“For seniors, I know that this is especially complicated, we want to reach out to each and every one of you individually to see how best we can get you to complete your requirements,” Gayeski said. “I know that many of you are counting on using advanced equipment to produce a final thesis and we will make sure you have access to help you develop a portfolio piece that you are expecting.”

The school offered to ship equipment directly to students and suggested that those enrolled in production classes return in August for “intensive sessions” to meet their course requirements. Professor Steve Gordon teaches Production Management, Program Development for Entertainment Media and a section of Senior Media Thesis.

He said that even in controlled environments, the few students who requested equipment realized that trying to shoot their films posed more risks than results.

“It wouldn’t be responsible to say ‘go out and shoot’ because we’re on lockdown,” Gordon said, adding that he “assured them that whenever they shoot, even if it’s after they graduate, I’ll help them supervise whatever they’re doing.”

Professor Bradley Rappa has all 51 students enrolled in Senior Media Thesis and, like Gordon, expressed his commitment to helping seniors who still want to make their films when it’s time to do so.

“I still want to give them the opportunity to have that experience even though they may not be officially registered for any courses at Ithaca College,” Rappa said. “I want to figure out a way to accommodate any one of their

needs so that they can actually produce the work that they’ve set out to produce this semester.”

Since the college moved to remote instruction, Senior Media Thesis professors have altered their class curriculums to adapt to the unprecedented circumstances of COVID-19. Instead of requiring a final cumulative project for all students, professors have shifted the focus of the class toward preparing for the eventual production and completion of thesis films. Those who were able to use the footage they had to create rough and final cuts followed the original requirements of the course. Rappa said that in his Zoom classes, students workshopped the films of their peers.

Emma Zarabet, a cinema and photography major with a concentration in cinema production, was enrolled in Senior Media Thesis. She said that, like others in her class, she was not able to shoot the footage needed to move forward with her film.

“We’re all just stuck at such different points,” Zarabet said. “Some people didn’t film anything and I’m kind of in this middle ground [where] I can’t really edit a full film… so it’s a weird spot.”

Without a film to share of their own, some students have been reluctant to participate in workshopping the films of their peers.

“People have less motivation to show up and put work in because everyone feels kind of stuck,” Zarabet said.

“Obviously I’m so happy for my friends and classmates that they’re able to make their films, and I love being able to see their work. I just wish I was able to see everyone’s completed films and show them mine, too. For some people, the class just seems to have no point anymore which is sad to see.”

Professors have found ways to assign work that will be productive for students’ professional development.

Rappa said that he required his students to create a digital production notebook. This serves to equip students with the materials needed to eventually follow through with their films. The notebook includes director and crew biographies, actor headshots, shooting locations, digital graphic assets for social media, shot lists and storyboards.

“I’m asking them to put the cart before the horse,” he said. “All I can ask for them [is to] be completely ready to go into production, so that when things sort of settle down a little bit they can reschedule with their cast or crew, or recast or get new crew members.”

Evidently, professors are working to gear students toward their professional development. Rappa required that students in his section of Senior Media Thesis who did not go into production convert their storyboards into what is called an animatic, something typically used by animators to determine pacing. He said that this conversion helped his students figure out how they want to graphically structure their films. They also have to create a short trailer for their film on FilmFreeway—a free-to-use site where filmmakers can submit their projects to film festivals and contests. Rappa said that these can be as abstract as students would like and can even be shot using a smartphone.

Gordon said that his students are also spending more time doing assignments for pre-production. Like Rappa, he required his students to use Storyboarder, a free animatics software. Gordon also had his students complete a fleshed-out marketing plan and create content for social

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media. Students in Gordon’s Production Management classes completed post-production schedules and those in his Program Development for Entertainment Media classes had a crash course in content management, an emerging field about producing for entertainment services and products on the web. Content management focuses on storytellers’ roles in the marketing world and how people both develop and evaluate ideas. Students enrolled in Program Development for Entertainment Media had to create images, social media ads and compile a report, also called a package, on how to establish their audiences. For all of his students, Gordon said that they have the full support of both their instructors and the school.

“When they do their projects, all they have to do is fill in the blanks,” Gordon said. “The school said they’ll support them with equipment and we’ll support them with supervision.”

Although Gayeski suggested intensive courses in late August at the start of the fall 2020 semester, students returning any later will find it difficult for PPECs to allocate them the gear they would need to finish shooting their films.

“It’s pretty difficult for any of them to shoot during the semester if it’s not the first week or two of classes, obviously because all of the gear will be gear-marked for the students who are currently taking all the other production classes,” Rappa said, “Again, that’s… if the college is open for us to be able to physically meet and conduct classes on campus.”

Rappa’s statement came weeks before the college’s May 18 announcement that Monday, October 5 would be the beginning of the 2020-2021 academic year. With this new certainty comes the same anxiety about student productions;

whether or not these films can resume production depends on the school’s ability to accommodate both current and former students’ needs.

While there is only one student who will return in the fall of 2020 to retake Senior Media Thesis, there are many individuals whose films remain incomplete—and they too need equipment to finish those projects. If PPECs cannot dish out the equipment they need, it will be up to the students themselves to raise the funds necessary to rent gear, which according to Rappa, is an endeavor that could cost students up to $3,000.

Rappa said that he would make sure that students who return to the college to complete their films have any fees waived.

“I would encourage the administration to allow our students to repeat the course, but to not have to pay for the credits again,” Rappa said.

Rappa said that he knows the potential each and every one of his students has and pointed to the value of their education.

“I want them trying to either create production companies together or to be able to insert themselves somewhere within the production hierarchy that’s quite a few steps above production assistance,” Rappa said. “They could have just gone to Hollywood and hauled cables and worked their way through the system and saved themselves a quarter of a million dollars if that’s what they wanted to do… I’m guessing that that’s not what [students] want from their film education.”

In order to do that, however, Parkies looking to enter the film industry need a foot in the door and, for students like Villalobos, they depend on their cumulative projects to launch their careers. Villalobos will be graduating in the summer of 2020 and added that, like many of her peers, thesis films are a reflection of students’ time at the college.

“It’s not just an exercise and personal expression… this is something that represents everything that you’ve learned and everything that you’re capable of. Your thesis is something that you look forward to your whole time at IC. You’re constantly working towards it and thinking about it,” Villalobos said. “Our major and our industry is such a show versus tell sort-of-thing, so if you don’t have that huge thing to show… what do you have to offer?”

Kaplan said that he’s trying to see this as an opportunity to expand Ringside’s potential.

“I look at this as a blessing in disguise,” he said. “I can’t make it now [but] it’s going to be made, and in the time that I have available to me in quarantine, I’m going to make sure I have all my shot lists put together, all my storyboards put together, my lookbook—everything—so by the time we’re ready to shoot, I can bring more crew on… and I’ll be better suited to make the film when it comes time to do that.”

Aside from the changes made within classes, of which seniors are enrolled, perseverance may be the only way for these students to adapt to the disheartening circumstances brought about by the coronavirus pandemic.

Kaplan encouraged his peers to find the silver lining in what appears to be—and for many, is—a troubling and uncertain time.

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“You need to be able to look at the silver lining of things,” he insisted. “For those who really wanted to make their film, don’t give up on it—be ready for it, be happy to do it and be prepared.”

Internship Interlude For Parkies, it’s been drilled into their heads since S’Park at Park but for most, if not all, college students, internships generate opportunities to network with professionals and gain experience in one’s field of study.

More often than not, students cast their credentials into a sea of applications—hoping to be selected by the organizations or companies to which they applied.

Rising juniors and seniors at the college have long sought out internships through Ithaca College New York City (ICNYC), Ithaca College London Center (ICLC) and Ithaca College Los Angeles (ICLA). The college prides itself on these study-away programs because they immerse students in dynamic learning environments and equip them with the valuable, real-world experiences that distinguish Ithaca College students from their peers.

On April 2, La Jerne Terry Cornish, Provost and Senior and Vice President of Academic Affairs announced at the virtual all-student gathering that ICNYC and ICLC would be cancelled for the fall 2020 semester. Although Cornish expressed the college’s commitment to re-opening ICLC in the summer of 2021, it is unclear whether ICNYC will follow suit. Ithaca College Los Angeles (ICLA) was also cancelled for the upcoming summer. Joe Minissale, a sophomore film, photography and visual arts major said he was looking forward to interning with AbelCine, an audio-visual store that specializes in image and video-making technology. Minissale said that, while he remains hopeful, he’s worried that it may be too late for him to find an internship near his hometown outside Philadelphia.

“I’m unsure I’ll be able to go out there now, considering how hard it is to find housing in Burbank,” he said. “It seems like a summer wasted from a professional development standpoint.”

For those nearing the end of their academic careers at the college, the pandemic whisked away the last chance for an internship before graduation. Lea Troutman, also a film, photography and visual arts major said that this was the first time she would have been able to apply to the company she’s idolized for years.

“Initially, I was really disappointed because National Geographic is my dream company to work for and it was the first summer that I had the opportunity to apply,” Troutman said. “It’s like my last summer before I am done with college so I was really relying on this summer to try to get some experience in the job field I want before I start applying for jobs after winter.”

Troutman is graduating in the winter of 2021 and said that while she sought out other internships to make up for the loss, most application deadlines have already passed.

She is pursuing a career in preservation or digital archiving, which involves the documentation of timeless artifacts and other museum collections through photography for access in the long-term. Troutman said that she will likely be at a disadvantage when it’s time to apply for jobs.

“Usually for those jobs, they [recommend] that you have internship experience before they hire you so it might make it a little harder in that regard for me to get a job because if I did get the internship with National Geographic, I would’ve had the experience to get a job in that field,” Troutman said. “I might just have to try harder and find experience in different ways.”

Internships in the production industry are in limbo.

Brian Power, a sophomore cinema and photography major with a concentration in cinema production, had pinned down a summer internship with the Cannes Film Festival until the organization postponed it for the summer of 2021.

“The Cannes internship is more than an experiential internship, it’s building bridges and meeting people for future internships and future jobs and one of the best opportunities I have to jump off into my career,” Power said.

“I could have made the connections this year and then had an internship based off [of] the connections I made [for] next year.”

Ann Marie Adams, Lecturer and Interim Professional Development Coordinator at the college, has been hosting Park Salons, a networking series featuring Zoom conferences with professionals—mostly IC graduates—in their respective fields. Speakers share their experiences, offer advice and engage in discussions with students. She said that although many internships are being cancelled or postponed, just as many are sprouting from an industry-wide need to maintain communications in an increasingly digital world.

“We’re finding that there are as many internships that have come on board that didn’t exist before the crisis as there have been those that have retracted,” Adams said in a Zoom conference on April 7. “Any industry that requires large masses of people, festivals, events, production… most of those arenas are just shut down until they can get back together.”

Calvin Yohannan 19’, assistant account executive at the Zeno Group and guest speaker at the same Park Salon Zoom conference, said that networking right now is as important as ever, adding that IC alums will network with students “because people want to help each other and they want to connect.”

“In terms of business communications, people need the news and need to continue doing what they’re doing but they can only get it through the internet now,” Yohannan said. “Another side of the Park School… is busier, to an extent, because of all the communication that needs to happen.”

Both Yohannan and Adams urged students to reach out to anyone with an IC connection. They reminded students to use their LinkedIn accounts, encouraged cold pitching and said that because of the Park School, “you’ve got skills the other peers in your age group do not have and it’s going to put you in a different category of candidates.”

“There’s a lot of hope,” Adams said.

Refunds, S/D/F and IC Cares In the March 25 update from Student Affairs and Campus Life, the college announced that it would reimburse students for their unused room and board from the spring 2020 semester.

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“There is a campus-wide leadership group focused on this issue, and they are considering what is best both for fairness to our students and the long-term fiscal health of the institution,” Rosanna Ferro, Vice President of Student Affairs and Campus Life, said in the email. “While we continue to work through the details, we want you to know that we are committed to providing some level of credit or refund to eligible students based upon each student’s individual circumstances.”

Although some students found the initial message’s language concerning, Laurie Koehler, Vice President of Marketing and Enrollment Strategy, addressed their concerns at the virtual All-Student Gathering on April 3.

“I know that many of you have been anxious about this and there was anxiety about some of the language we used in our last update,” Koehler said. “We knew what we meant. In retrospect, it clearly didn’t communicate what we hoped it would. Instead, it resulted in greater anxiety and I am sorry about that.”

Just five days later, President Collado—on behalf of the senior leadership team—sent out an email detailing how the college would approach reimbursement, which she said would take the form of prorated credits or refunds depending on each individual student’s financial package.

“In the spirit of equity, we felt it was critical that the formula take into account such factors as the cost for the student’s specific residence hall room and meal plan, less any Ithaca College funds that had been applied toward housing and meals costs,” Collado said in the email.

Of the college’s estimated 6,500 students,

approximately 4,000 received credit. The college also provided meal credit to students with commuter meal plans.

The remaining students were ineligible because their room and board charges differed if they studied abroad, worked as RAs, or lived off-campus.

Within weeks of this announcement, the Office of Student Financial Services notified students that their room and board adjustments could be found on Homerconnect. As these notifications came in, however, some took to Facebook to express their frustrations about the amount they had been reimbursed. In an effort to quell the discontent, senior Alexander Perry sought to clarify the formula by responding directly to students’ complaints. He said that students who pay more out of pocket are refunded a greater amount than those who pay less.

“A lot of people are confused by why students who receive more financial aid get less of a refund,” Perry said.

“It’s very simple… IC is paying more for them.”

Perry, Varsity Athlete Senator of Student Governance Council (SGC), said that SGC has been communicating students’ needs and concerns to the college’s Senior Leadership Team. In attendance at their meetings were President Collado, Vice President Koehler and Vice President for Finance and Administration Bill Guerrero. According to Vice President Guerrero, the college has refunded around $9 million to its students. Like most institutions across the country, Ithaca College required its students to pay full tuition—with the exception of scholarships—for the spring 2020 semester. Perry said that the college chose not to lower the cost of tuition because

22,637 Tuition + $5,019 Room + $3,400 Board = $31,056 Total Charges

Example 1: $7,000 Scholarship + $15638 ICOG = $22,638 Total IC Aid

Example 2 $8000 Scholarship + $9500 IC Grant = $17,500 Total IC Aid

Example 1 $22,638 Aid divided by $30,422 Total charges = .7441 (x 100 for %) 74.41% Charges covered by IC

Example 2 $17,500 Aid divided by $31,056 Total charges = .5635 (x 100 for %) 56.35% Charges covered by IC

This equals the total RB discounted by IC for the student Please note that room and board may have different % for remaining time in semester requiring separate calculations for next step Example 1 $7,785 Room and Board total Multiply by percentage paid

by IC $7,785 x .7441 (74.41%) =$5,792 Total RB paid by IC

Example 2 $8,419 Room and Board total Multiply by percentage paid

by IC $8,419 x .5635 (56.35%) =$4,744 Total RB paid by IC

Charge Adjustment

This equals the % of TRB that was discounted by IC for the student

Room and Board Calc

Convert this amount to a percentage (multiple by 100)

Multiply room and board (RB) amounts

by IC discount %

Take the total cost of RB and subtract the RB discount amount This equals the amount that IC did not cover in RB charges Multiple this by the amount left in semester* for your charge adjustment credit Meal Plan – 50.82% Housing, General - 50.82% Housing, Circles -58.79% Housing, LA - % Varies

Charge Adjustment

Example 2:

Anything associated with “IC” – IC Grants, IC Scholarships, etc.

Take the IC aid total and divide it by TRB institutional charges total

Room and Board Calc

Example 1: $22,637 Tuition + $4,385 Room + $3,400 Board = $30,422 Total Charges

Add all of the aid that is institutional

Percentage Paid by IC

Add these together to get the total simplified institutional charges

Review the student account for spring semester institutional aid

Percentage Paid by IC

Gather the tuition, room and board charges (TRB)

Institutional Aid Total

Review the student account for spring semester institutional charges

Institutional Aid Total

Add Semester Charges

Add Semester Charges

Room and Board Charge Adjustment Calculation

Example 1 RB total - IC paid amount $7,785 - $5,792 = $1,993 (Remaining amount for full semester) $1,992 x .5082 (50.82% for remaining time in spring semester)=$1012 RB Credit

Example 2 RB total - IC paid amount $8,419 - $4,744= $3,675 (Remaining amount for full semester) $3,675 x .5082 (50.82% for remaining time in spring semester)=$1,867 RB Credit

Source: Ithaca College

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students still received credits for this semester, but noted the possible reduction of tuition fees in the future.

“The college said that [due to] unprecedented circumstances, they did not discount tuition,” he said. “But if classes needed to be held remotely next fall, they would reevaluate the calculation for tuition costs.”

Perry’s statement also came weeks before the October 5 announcement from the college’s Senior Leadership Team. As a result of the circumstances brought about by COVID-19, it has become increasingly evident that some courses offered by the college translate poorly to remote environments. Students enrolled in courses reliant upon specialized equipment or in-person performance and skill-building now struggle to obtain the breadth of handson learning that would have otherwise been possible in the absence of the global pandemic. This is an issue that goes beyond Ithaca College. Students across the country have demanded that their colleges provide them with at least partial tuition refunds, with some filing class-action lawsuits against their institutions, reported both the Washington Post and New York Times. Nick Anderson, an education reporter at the Post, recently published an article outlining this dilemma and said that remote instruction just isn’t the same conventional learning.

“It’s not the same thing,” he said in an interview with CBS News. “When you go to a residential university or college, really, the point of those schools is to immerse, it’s to meet people, it’s to be close together.”

Anderson added that colleges have been reluctant to refund tuition because of the additional costs that accompany the pandemic-induced, nationwide transition to remote learning.

“They have a lot of expenses right now,” he said in the same interview. “They have to pay their salaries of professors who are still working, they have to pay staff who are trying desperately to keep the colleges operating—at a different level but still operating—and they also have expenses in trying to change the way they teach and deliver remote learning.”

The period of uncertainty following the initial developments of COVID-19 prompted some students to utilize social media and streamline resources for their peers.

Senior sociology major Clare Nowalk created the “IC Student Response to Corona Virus” page on March 16 to establish “a space for Ithaca College Students to ask questions, rant, share self-quarantine tips, social distance together, and get updates” about how the novel Coronavirus pandemic has impacted their community. Its membership has since climbed to over 1,400 users.

Around the same time, junior vocal performance and music with an outside field major Darius Elmore expressed his commitment to organizing an initiative to help students in need. He began sharing resources via Google Drive regarding transportation, medical assistance, groceries and food supplies, as well as information about mitigating the virus’ impact on artists and people of color. Shortly after, Elmore collaborated with Elena Gupta, who was representing the Cornell community, and the Ithaca Free Clinic, to share a spreadsheet outlining health guidelines that could help slow the spread of COVID-19. Elmore said that he began using his social media platform to “bridge any disconnects that were

existing at the time,” adding that he wanted students to “feel compelled and inspired to take action as well.”

On March 17, Elmore shared a petition requesting Satisfactory, D, or Fail (S/D/F) as an option for students in existent circumstances and garnered over 2,200 signatures.

On March 24, Provost La Jerne Cornish announced that students could indeed request to take classes S/D/F with permission from respective departments until May 11, and proposed to eliminate the maximum number of classes students could originally take S/D/F. Elmore then worked with sophomore music education major Logan Chaput to draft a formal address articulating students’ growing concerns and needs. Elmore posted the address to his Facebook on March 18. In the address, Elmore and Chaput encouraged the administration to provide refunds for room and board, meal rebates, students access to their belongings, bi-weekly stimulus checks for students “who relied on on-campus work-study positions and other on-campus jobs,” aid to those studying abroad with travel costs and refunds “for sudden departure,” full coverage of senior dues, a “50% refund for parking permits” and stipends for students who live off-campus “to cover, at minimum, a month of rent.”

Elmore said that anyone can make change when they use their voice.

“You do not have to be in a position of power to create change,” Elmore said. “Knowing that your voice carries weight is more significant.”

He also said that it’s important for students to be “learning how to breathe in global unison and finding a way to redirect our emotions and our energy to become more community-driven.”

“We cannot allow ourselves to lead by emotion, emotion has to be secondary,” Elmore said. “In some regard, emotion can sort of act as fuel, but it will not serve purpose if there’s no logic and reasoning.”

The college’s Division of Institutional Advancement has been working to meet the needs of students facing challenging circumstances. On March 20, they released their “Student Emergency Relief” web page. “IC Cares: Bombers Helping Bombers is a fund dedicated to supporting students who need financial relief. It has since raised upwards of $115,000 and allocates a maximum of $500 to qualifying students. Wendy Kobler, vice president of philanthropy and engagement, said that students, faculty, alumni and friends have contributed to the campaign.

“We were able to raise money and are still continuing to raise money,” she said. “Most recently, a student group, IC Bound, supported us and they asked students to give back.”

Grants are reviewed by a committee within Student Affairs. Vice President Kobler said that out of 234 applications, 123 were approved and 41 are still pending— adding that the average of the awards has been calculated at $389. Two donors matched the first $50,000 raised, donating $25,000 each, which doubled the fund to $100,000.

The fund will continue to accept donations throughout the pandemic. Vice President Kobler said that excess funds will be transferred into an endowed fund.

“An endowed fund would be a fund that would live in perpetuity,” she said. “While COVID-19 certainly brought

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to bear an immediate response, there will be future needs for our students [who] we want to be prepared to respond to in a very timely manner.”

Bonnie Prunty, Dean of Students, is on the committee within Student Affairs. She said that the college is trying to reduce the time between grant approval and receival.

“Generally, students will hear about whether they’ve been awarded funding or not roughly within a week of applying,” she said. “The process… is taking longer than we want it to be and so we’re going to actually be making a change where we’re going to be able to award funds to students through direct deposit if they have a bank account that is set up.”

For those who may be unable to donate, but still want to give, they can offer some words of affirmation to the graduating class of 2020 through the 20 for ‘20 initiative, , which can be found at https://securelb.imodules. com/s/1592/19/interior.aspx?sid=1592&gid=2&pgid=3248.

For the Love of the Game Student athletes were just as lost in those first confusing days. Jill Geline, a goalie on the women’s soccer team, explained that her coaches did their best to keep the team updated. “Our head coach also called everyone personally,” she said. “They were planning on us coming back after [spring break was extended] to keep a positive attitude.”

Then NCAA announced all remaining college sporting activities would be cancelled until further notice, marking the sudden end to months worth of work and training.

But Geline and her teammates quickly found ways to adapt.

“While we may not have the same equipment that we had in the weight rooms at school, we are working around it [by] figuring out different things we can use to get our work done,” Geline said. “In a packet that was sent to us via email, there are a wide range of things to do [even] if you don’t have the right equipment. For example, filling up a backpack with books can act as a barbell that we would squat in the weight room.”

Welcome to Zoom University At the beginning of the scheduled spring break, the college had already begun formulating a plan for the rest of the semester. With Ivy League universities like Princeton and Columbia announcing the closing of their campuses, it was only a matter of time before Ithaca College followed suit, said Bob Sullivan, a communication studies professor at the college.

“I have colleagues at some state schools who were literally given a weekend to figure out what they were going to do,” Sullivan said. “Ithaca College really caught a break in a weird way. We went away on spring break, and that gave the administration time to think really hard about where we were and what we were going to do.”

Initially, the college extended spring break by an extra week, giving faculty time to gather materials from

their offices and reconfigure their curriculums to adapt to an online format. Sullivan expressed immense gratitude for the incredible effort put forth by members of the college’s Information Technology (IT) department. He said that professors went into online instruction with varying levels of experience and added that they achieved uniform instruction because of the clear guidelines communicated to faculty by IT. “I have spent my entire career avoiding anything to do with online instruction,” he said. “I can barely run my laptop! When I came into this, I was floored—I had no idea where to begin but I think the college made an appropriate decision. They made the default contact medium Zoom. The fact that they did that rather than say ‘there’s a million things you can do online’ made things so much better for me. I would have been paralyzed.”

Although much of the college’s campus has been shut down because of COVID-19, IT has been working to help make the transition to remote instruction seamless.

Andrew Hogan, director of the college’s IT department, said that staff have been working overtime.

“Over the last couple weeks, the vast majority members of IT have been working an exorbitant amount of hours well above their normal,” he said.

The IT department spearheaded multiple projects to help the Ithaca College community adjust to working and teaching remotely. Teaching and Learning with Technology, a program within the IT department, has presented over 31 workshops for faculty about remote teaching.

The department created a drive-thru, drop-off service where students or faculty can drop off their devices for repair and retrieve them at the Textor Circle once they’re ready. IT also created a virtual service desk where people can ask tech-related questions through a new chat feature. The same virtual service desk has 11 employees working at a time and can otherwise be accessed by phone and email.

The IT department has also employed 12 student workers to help them take phone calls from their service desk.

“We certainly couldn’t run and perform the services we do without the student team,” Hogan said. “Wherever the students could still perform their normal functions, we certainly wanted them to come back and have the ability to do that.”

Despite these efforts, the transition to online learning has complicated matters for students whose degrees require more than sitting in a classroom. While recovering from the coronavirus, Mayson Sonntag, a musical theater major, said that his online classes posed a new set of challenges.

“Everyone has been putting so much work in and everyone has been struggling with this, but for me personally it’s been really difficult,” he said. “I can’t do a whole dance class in my basement where if I jump I’ll put my head through the ceiling. I can’t do scenes with my partner over Zoom; a scene isn’t just about talking, it’s about physicality and breath and posture, and I can’t do any of that.”

In response to the pandemic, the college has laid off 167 employees in essential services, wrote the Ithaca Voice.

In an effort to mitigate the impact of these

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layoffs, the college is offering workers “one-time retirement incentive, phased retirement, hours reduction and salary reduction.” Retirement incentive offers part-time employment or payment in exchange for an agreement for that employee to retire. Phased retirement allows full-time employees to work part-time shifts, and it allows them to begin to tap into retirement savings. Salary reduction allows employees to commit a certain amount of their income into their retirement savings plan. Hours reduction allows employees to voluntarily reduce their hours for a certain amount of time. As of Tuesday, April 28, 76 employees went for the retirement incentive, 15 for phased retirement, 17 for hours reduction and 19 for salary reductions.

Staying Together That students, faculty, and alumni have found ways to come together in spite of the crisis is a testament to the resilience of this community. Members of the Theatre Arts faculty have come together to bring groceries to students like Sebastian de la Paz who are still unable to leave Ithaca.

Additionally, the Office of Residential Life has supplied Wegmans gift cards to the RAs who remain on campus.

Although separated physically, Jill Geline and her teammates have maintained their bond.

“Every Friday at 3:00, we have a Zoom meeting with our coaching staff,” she said. “Everyone wants to talk to each other, so we always are texting in our team group chat.”

Professors have made the most of the online learning and many have found comfort in the fact that class provides a crucial chance for a face-to-face connection.

Professor Sullivan’s breakthrough came when his colleagues implored him to “recognize one reality: you cannot design an online course over a weekend. These are not online courses. This is the way we are going to finish these courses to give the best possible educational experience to students in a crisis situation. Our job is not to run the best online course in the country. When people said that to me, that was a tremendous relief.”

Mayson Sonntag has now made a full recovery and said that he plans on finishing out the semester on a positive note. He added that he looks forward to the day when the college community can return to South Hill.

“My silver lining has just been realizing the strength and quality of the relationships I’ve built at Ithaca,” he said.

“Those are the people I’ve really relied on during this time and that have really kept me going. It’s made me really excited to see them again, and made me realize when I get back I’m not just going back to my education, I’m going back to people that I care about.”

James Baratta, Christian Maitre, sophomore journalism majors, and Rachael Powles, a theatre studies/culture and communication double major, wrote this piece alone, together. They can be reached at jbaratta@ithaca.edu, cmaitre@ithaca.edu and rpowles@ithaca.edu.

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ministry of cool

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QuaranTweeting When Social Distance Meets Social Media // by Gigi Grady, Staff Writer; art by Julia Young, Contributing Artist

F

or the past decade, the most colossal distraction from life has been social media. We could have a deadline or class could have started two minutes ago, but still, we choose to lay in bed and refresh our feed, unbothered. Now, with everyone in quarantine indefinitely, life has seemingly been put on pause, and what else is there to do except continuously refresh our feeds? Some are caught in the purgatory of attempting to delete social media in order to escape the anxiety-ridden world outside of our homes, but redownloading out of boredom. Contrary to what we all believed a month ago, maybe all those hours spent on Instagram and Twitter are not the best way to pass time after all; they end up instilling more fear in users than not.

Social media has always been an outlet for humor and emotion, as well as a platform for opinion and spreading information, and that has not changed during the pandemic.

The outbreak of COVID-19 in the U.S. brought on rapid change to everyone’s lives, affecting jobs, education and all other outside activities that are not deemed essential.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suggestions for safety include banking and ordering online, and taking precautions like wearing masks and gloves when getting gas or picking up a prescription if necessary. A result of these drastic changes was a prominent shift in all social media use and content, and there is a bit of anxiety behind every quarantine joke, or attack directed at whoever “needed” to spend their spring break in Florida.

During the first week of quarantine, I was fascinated with how people were using their technological voices to express any type of thought or emotion, and how the panic created on a forum plays into the craze. I was seeing jokes about the deadly virus, and responses criticizing the individual for expressing a crude sense of humor during a time like this. Countless posts by young people, being directed at other young people, for being selfish and not following the rules, followed by ten Instagram stories in a row of a graphic of matches lined up, and then that one, brave

match stepping out of the way, keeping the others from catching fire.

Why do people post anything about the virus anyway? I’ve heard many different theories, but the main two remain to be either spreading information, or doing it because everyone else is. Keep in mind, I don’t necessarily mean that in a negative way, especially during this time. With social distancing hindering human contact and gatherings, the feeling of isolation is, unfortunately, inevitable. In general, consuming media is an individual experience: you read information, then internally process it. However, joining in about the same topic as everyone else makes you feel like you’re experiencing it together, like you’re part of something.

Isn’t that why everyone has social media to begin with?

On the other hand, massive amounts of boredom and remote schoolwork procrastination are leading everyone to absorb much more media content than normal (and it was not normal before, either). No matter what platform you’re browsing, it is COVID-19 overload. Each of the hundreds of news outlets on social media is obligated to report updates.

Then take that number and combine that with the millions of people active on social media, meaning the amount of information being put out is being extremely amplified on each individual feed. Additionally, the desire to stay informed is leading everyone down a dangerous path of over-consumption. Reading about the number of cases and deaths has designed a new media monster, switching out the anxiety associated with social media with intense fear.

Fortunately for us, not all corners of social media are doom and gloom. If you search, you will find accounts doing free yoga, meditation and master classes through livestream.

Planet Fitness is offering 20-minute workouts every day on Facebook Live, the Boston Public Library has teamed up with the Hands to Heart Center for virtual yoga twice a week, and artists from Lizzo to Yo-Yo Ma are using their social media platforms to share music with their followers. Although this aspect of social media is seemingly less prominent, that

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makes it all the more refreshing. The most prominent theme within coping mechanisms on social media is togetherness, in whatever non-real form that may come in. Joining a ballet barre livestream, or joining the daily, celebratory moment in New York City in time for the frontline workers switching shifts to hear shows that, even when pulled apart, people come together.

By no means was the pandemic the start of negativity on social media. Anxiety surrounding body image and FOMO are only some of the symptoms that can have dangerous effects on all users to some degree. The impact brought on by COVID-19 includes similar levels of stress, just a lot more obvious. There is no disguise for a detrimental virus, in the same way, smiling faces and inspirational quotes cover up insecurity, easily mistaking a long-term fix from a barely-temporary one.

In a way, the pandemic has taken the focus away from the harmful aspect of social media that encourages you to photoshop your photos before posting, or telling you “pics or it didn’t happen.� But slowly, the quarantine jokes grow stale, and the preaching becomes less effective, and in the midst of lost jobs and a teetering economy, I honestly could not tell you what social media will look like weeks, or months from now.

Gigi Grady is a second-year Journalism major who is avoiding the screen-time section of their phone. You can reach them at ggrady@ithaca.

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Surviving Sátántangó Seven hours in cinematic quarantine // by Tom Lawson, Staff Writer; art by Carolyn Langer, Contributing Artist

F

or reasons I need not mention, I’ve found myself with far too much time on my hands. Under normal circumstances I’d spend it going to parks, visiting museums, and perusing the Criterion Collection Blu-Rays at the nearest Barnes & Noble (it’s a real problem). In the absence of those activities, I was clamoring for a challenge. A task I could complete without leaving the house. Something that would earn me an IRL “achievement unlocked.” That’s when I remembered “Sátántangó.”

I found out about Bela Tarr’s 432-minute black-and-white magnum opus in my high school film studies class. The 3-disc DVD on my teacher’s shelf was completely gray, except for a picture of three people beneath a blank sky trudging down a mud-ridden road that seemingly stretched to infinity. Not an enticing image. The runtime: even less so. But it’s been stuck in my mind ever since. Like a movie-Mount Everest, “Sátántangó”seemed like some cinematic summit to conquer.

All I knew about the film beforehand was the basic plot; it focuses on the residents of a farming community in Hungary after the fall of Communism, and how they deal with the economic downturn they face. I felt it was best not to find out anything else. So I obtained a copy and dedicated a day to watching it. From beginning to end, I charted my experience, with timestamps, in the hope that you might find some humor in my suffering and take heed to never make the same mistake that I did...

8:46 am — About to start. It was really hard to get out of bed for this. Luckily I have a blanket, a huge couch, cereal, tea and orange juice. That should keep me satisfied for a while, even if the movie sucks.

0:02 — Two minutes in and no sign of traditional entertainment. Credits play in silence. Now the slowest pan I’ve ever seen past some cows in a muddy field. Oh, it’s also worth noting it’s in black and white, so the things in the movie are just the things, no visual excitement.

0:05 — Not gonna lie, there’s something strangely beautiful about this movie so far. I might actually get something out of this.

0:09 — There’s a guy reading. Please don’t say this is part audio-book.

0:17 — “We’ll go mad in the end.” You and me both. I can already tell I’m going to be forced to watch things I don’t want to see, for much longer than I want to see them. On the plus side, I’ll never be bored by another movie again.

0:23 — Music! And really cool music too. Can’t tell what instrument.

0:25 — God this farm is bleak. The black and white make it look devoid of soul.

0:30 — This might not be that bad. There’s a plot, at least, and a few interesting characters (right now several farmworkers are conspiring to steal their fellow villagers’ money). It’s slow, but not painfully slow; more dreamlike, although that could be a side effect of my drowsiness (it’s still only 9:20 am).

0:54 — Starting to wish I’d stayed in bed. My eyelids are heavy and this film isn’t giving me much of a reason to keep them open.

1:07 — Here’s the music again, same piece, but for no apparent reason. Is Tarr just putting it at various intervals to stop us from getting bored? In any case, it worked. I put my phone down in shame after browsing Reddit for a couple of minutes.

Time to pay full attention again. I guarantee I didn’t miss anything.

1:10 — My tea’s gone cold but I don’t want to pause unless I have to :( 1:11 — The voiceover is describing the color of the setting sun and I feel unfairly teased right now.

1:21 — This guy drawing with a blunt pencil has been the most excruciating thing to watch so far.

1:26 — Dude, sharpen your pencil!

1:31 — Now he’s fallen asleep. I wish I had that luxury (it’s worth noting that there’s nothing actually keeping me from switching this off other than my own self-restraint and the illusion that because I started this I have to finish it).

1:34 — Thankfully I’ll never have to watch it again.

1:41 — Necessary bathroom break gives me a chance to stretch and reheat my tea. It’s sunny outside. I almost forgot the world had color.

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10:35 am — Took a short break, and now we’re back. With coffee instead of tea. Half an hour left before this section of the film is over. Let’s power through!

1:42 — Settings says I’ve picked up my phone ten times so far. That’s about once every ten minutes. If this were in a theater I’d have been kicked out by now.

1:50 — There’s never been a tracking shot following behind a character that hasn’t looked cool. Unfortunately, it’s the guy I’ve been watching for the past half an hour.

2:02 — Looks like he’s heading for somewhere. The pub? Oh, now he’s turned away. Guess we won’t go there after all.

2:03 — Starting to think the cut points are being dictated by whenever Tarr ran out of film in the camera.

2:11 — It’s 11:07 am and the first part is officially over. We’ll see how quickly I can convince myself to start part two.

11:24 am — Here we go again.

2:12 — The ticking clock in this scene feels like mockery.

2:38 — You know, sometimes the slowness just works. Because I know what Tarr is going for, I’m more inclined to just accept it and observe the characters. I’m not clamoring for action. What I wish there were more of is stakes, some reason for me to be invested. I know little more about these people than I did at the beginning.

12:01 pm — Time for some food.

12:07 pm — Found some Cool Ranch Doritos. Found it funny how this cold farm in the film could also be described as a cool ranch. God, I’m tired.

3:11 — They’re watching “Making the Cut” upstairs and I’m so tempted to join them.

3:23 — A young girl has started torturing her cat — it looks uncomfortably real, and I really hope it’s fake.

3:39 — Looked it up and apparently the cat wasn’t harmed. Still painful to watch, and not sure it was entirely necessary. But then again, is any of this necessary?

12:55 pm — Took a break on account of being unsettled and celebrating the fact that I’m pretty much halfway!

3:52 — I think I’m becoming desensitized to long takes. They’re impressive because of their rarity. Too much of a good thing and they become mind-numbing.

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3:59 — Child suicide is usually where I’d draw the line, but I’m too far in to give up now. Upsetting, but one of the few scenes so far that’s had a genuine emotional impact.

4:06 — This is the third time we’ve almost gotten back to the plot.

4:08 — “Plodding and plodding and plodding.” Tarr’s getting meta.

4:19 — Remember the pub that one guy was trying to get to earlier? (I barely do). Well, we’re finally there and it looks like I’ll be watching this group of people I don’t know dance to a terrible GarageBand loop for the next ten minutes.

4:28 — Update: I was right.

4:31 — They started dancing again…

4:34 — I changed location to the office upstairs so that I can stare longingly outside at the trees when nothing’s happening in the film. Which has been the case for the last fifteen minutes.

4:41 — More voiceover from the book that’s probably more interesting than the movie.

1:56 pm — Now I have a choice to make: do I watch the last part now or this evening? I’m told to get lunch, bang out the next part then treat myself to a nice (socially-distanced) walk outside. I agree. Let’s eat and get this over with.

2:31 pm — Tuna sandwich made. Part three begins.

5:03 — Actively wanting it to end. The 2h 20m remaining is baffling. What more could possibly be worth watching?

5:05 — Taking bets on whether this shot will be over by the time I’ve gone downstairs, picked up a Mountain Dew, and come back up.

5:07 — Yup, he’s still packing. This Code Red tastes real good.

5:15 — Thinking about how much Tarr would eviscerate me for ridiculing his movie. In all honesty, a chat over coffee would be great. I wonder if he’s seen “Sharknado?”

5:30 — Unusual music here, but no complaints. Like something off a 70’s Eno record (“Another Green World” and “Taking Tiger Mountain By Strategy,” if anyone wants recommendations).

5:55 — Holy shit we’re in a city. Fresh change of locale and the first time I’ve perked up from the very deep slump I was in.

This armchair is amazing for that.

6:10 — I’ve officially hit the point at which I just don’t care anymore. I’ll finish it, but more out of spite than for any meaningful reason. If anything, I’m glad I started early, since I still have a sizable chunk of my Sunday that I’ll make sure doesn’t go to waste.

6:33 — The experience has pretty much boiled down to technical guesswork by now. Assuming they must have used a steadicam for these spectacular dolly shots.

6:55 — Watching this dude eat a pickle while I eat my corn chips. Feels like we’re having lunch together.

7:05 — Plenty of bodily functions on display. Tarr really doesn’t cut anything out.

7:16 — A bog has never looked so good.

7:22 — He’s boarding up his house to stay inside. Self-isolating king.

7:25 — Now he’s reading the narration from the beginning, a move that almost scared me into believing the film is starting all over again.

4:59 pm — It’s over!!! I need me one of those “I survived “Sátántangó” t-shirts.”

I’m now two weeks removed from my initial reaction, and although I can’t say I enjoyed the experience of watching Sátántangó, I definitely gained something from it. It could just be a sense of pride from completing such a mammoth task, but, regardless, there are moments from the film that have stuck in my memory. Certain shots, scenes and actions have lingered, and the most important plot points have endured. More than anything, I think this is a testament to what Hitchcock said about drama: it’s “life with the dull bits cut out.” “Sátántangó” may not be drama, but it could be, well, just life.

Unobstructed. Unimpeded by editing. There’s something to be said for that kind of art, and something rather beautiful about it, too. That being said, I don’t think I’ll be hitting play on Abel Gance’s 330-minute “Napoléon” anytime soon.

Tom Lawson is a second-year cinema & photo major who VOLUNTEERED to watch a seven hour film. You can reach them at tlawson@ithaca.edu.

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Inside “The Lucky Few”

Interview by Julia Batista, Treasurer, Web & Social Media Editor, and interim Seesaw Editor; photography by Chloe Gibson, Contributing Photographer Freshman acting majors Alaysia Duncan and Denise Kolodja, and sophomore TVR major Ray Deutsch talk about the first episode of their web series, “The Lucky Few.” All three women touch on production struggles, their insights, motivation and what to expect next in terms of content.

Julia Batista: So, how did the story plot of the lucky few come about?

Alaysia Duncan: So, back over winter break, Denise and I wanted to write something. Our initial idea was like, okay, well we’re two girls in college. So we might as well write about two girls or in college. And so when we came back from winter break, we had a first draft of the script, but it was like 40 pages long, which is a lot longer than what a web series usually is so we had to do a lot of re-cutting and reframing it, but we wanted to kind of keep the same idea of this dramedy about two best friends in college. So yeah, it’s been through a lot of changes in terms of, length and tone, but the original idea has stayed consistent, I think.

Denise Kolodja: We didn’t necessarily cut. We talked to Ray about cutting it and then we all decided that we should just rewrite episodes, and kind of rebrand the web series.

The way that we had originally written it in 48 pages, it was sort of like we were writing it as if it were a pilot you would probably see on like, an ABC show or something but then we realized that to actually get an audience, we might want to make it shorter. And they helped us do that and helped us get around those lines, and keep the same idea.

JB: Okay, so just like to clarify, Ray, can you kind of explain what your role in this is?

Ray Deutsch: I met Denise back in November when I was assistant producing a film and I believe Denise talked to the initial producer saying that she and her friend Alaysia had an idea for a script that they wanted to write. Michaela Willner kind of hooked me and Denise up and we started talking, I read their script, it was beautiful, but I’m looking at kind of what we’re able to do as student filmmakers. I kind of helped them bring it to a more concise place and kind of turn their initial script into something that we could feasibly make as young filmmakers and as young students. It was a really cool process, it was a lot of reading and writing and rewriting and sharing notes… I think it really goes into these two characters who they just really wanted to portray each other and so they kind of wanted to be able to make something and I was like, okay, we can do that but let’s make something that we could actually make.

JB: So can you tell me a little bit more about the background of Hypochondriac Productions?

RD: That’s just a fetus production company that I’m starting

because I wanted to be able to brand the content that I’m making. I really want to focus on being able to show women characters, show characters like you two are gorgeous black women of color. Like that’s really cool. We don’t see a lot of that on TV. I wanted to be able to make stuff that a lot of other people can see themselves in. I don’t know, I really care about feminism and change and making the world a better place. And I want to be able to do that through my media, mental health specifically is what a lot of the things that I write kind of correspond with. So Hypochondriac kind of comes from me and my own journey with mental health and figuring out like, my own anxieties.

DK: It’s Ray’s fetus production company and she’s helping us and now we’re sort of a part of it, but it’s all hers.

JB: So then what are you hoping “The Lucky Few” to turn out to be or to see come out of it, I guess you’d say?

AD: A lot! Well, originally, why we wanted to do a web series in the first place was because obviously there are a lot of Park films that happen throughout the year, but sometimes it’s really hard for theater students to get to do that. One, because we had to get permission from our faculty and two, because of scheduling stuff that often gets really hard. And so there’s a lot of camera acting work we don’t really get a lot of experience in. So we really wanted to use the free time that we had to learn more about what it’s like to act on camera, as well as to start getting footage for our acting reels so that by the end of our four years of college, we have something tangible to show casting directors.

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group and they were each going to come in a new episode and become a part of our group and become a part of our story. The main story was between Sarah and Maliya, but we just never got a chance to do that.

AD: So we were supposed to film five more episodes before the semester had ended. Like we had auditions and everything. We were going to explore Maliya’s and Sarah’s love lives, we were going to explore that friend group Denise was talking about, the majors that they’re in and yeah, there’s not necessarily really like a full kind of super, super structured plot. It’s more about like, a slice of life like these two girls, and the people around them and like, how they’re growing with each other and separate from each other.

JB: So how would you say that your web series is different or unique compared to streaming, shows today, like other shows that exist today?

DK: It was a lot about making something for ourselves and making something that we can act in, because sometimes, like she said, we can only do theater productions or be unable to do Park films because of our schedules and because of our permission forms, our teachers might not let us because we’re in a show currently. But we felt that we wanted and needed on-camera experience right now as a freshman, because I actually talked to some of the seniors about it, and they said that they all thought about doing their own work or making a web series, but they didn’t start until their junior/ senior year. We wanted to start this year so that we can grow by the time we’re seniors so that we can have stuff or a reel and we even have roles that we can include our friends in.

And also it’s just kind of, fun to write it, to be a part of it, to act in, to do the whole movie set, it’s just a lot of fun to create something that matters.

RD: Like, for me, it’s mostly about telling the story about female friendship. Like you guys probably agree. I think our biggest inspiration was “Broad City.”

AD: Oh yeah.

RD: So I don’t know, I think that’s a huge part of it. And being able to get our names out there, or even just in our small sector of Ithaca. One of my favorite parts about being a producer is creating opportunities for other people, like reaching out to people who I know are good at audio or people who are good cinematographers and directors of photography, who just haven’t pursued that, or people who make music. I think it’s like a really cool opportunity to make something that other students can collaborate on and create a basis for actors too.

DK: Oh, first of all, our budget is very different.

AD: Yeah, and I also think in terms of comparing it to other streaming sites, I definitely think that racial representation is getting a lot better, especially with shows like “Never Have I Ever” that just came out. Black representation specifically is getting a lot better. But I still think something that’s missing from that are shows about black people where race isn’t necessarily like, the center point of it, where it’s just kind of like, these are characters that happen to be black and this is their story. I think the fact that we’re just like two girls in college who happen to be black. And we kind of just have, or at least we would have gotten to show these every day simple events like your first kiss and going to your first party.

As black women, it’s very important to me.

RD: For me, it was really important to make sure that this project was focused on having women behind the camera.

Like our director of photography, our assistant director, myself, we’re all women of Park. It’s no secret that film is a boys club. So I guess that was kind of a big push for me too, and being able to make my own productions.

JB: So then, what would you say is the central big idea that you’re trying to push through the web series? Once it’s done, what do you want people to get out of it?

JB: So what is the story of Maliya and Sarah supposed to develop into? Without spoilers, tell me anything that’s not confidential.

RD: It’s about college and finding yourself and finding your people. And I think it’s about finding that your soulmate doesn’t have to be romantic.

DK: We sort of outlined some of the future episodes that we would have done if we stayed on campus and a lot of those future episodes had other people in them and other characters, too. We were sort of going to make our friend

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DK: I mean, with time, maybe we would have found one, but the way that we’ve been doing it, it’s just to show that it’s fun and normal. It’s about two normal girls and the fact that women are a part of the production. The fact that we have two black female leads, we just want it to be a normal show that has those things because you don’t normally see those things in shows that are big right now. You don’t see an all-female cast, you don’t see female writers and directors behind those shows you don’t see two colored leads. Two, most specifically, dark-skinned female leads. You don’t usually see that. The first time I really saw that was in “How to Get Away with Murder” with Viola Davis in a TV show and “Scandal.” Those were the first times that I saw that. Alaysia and I got excited about the idea of being able to do that for ourselves and just have it be a normal thing. Because like Viola Davis said, “Dark-skinned black women can be sexy and they can be leads.”

AD: I would also add that I think if there were going to be something that people are going to get out of this is that friendships, your relationships, especially in college, can really carry through anything. And that’s something that I’m definitely learning like in my freshman year, and especially being in quarantine in this weird time. It’s really the relationships that you build that kind of influence the world around you and how you kind of go about life and that kind of thing. So yeah, friendship I think is the thing that holds the show together, it’s the friendship between Maliya and Sarah.

RD: I agree. I mean, since I read your script, the things that stood out to me were strong women, strong friendships. I think we’re lucky that we were even able to carry that out into how the pilot at least turned out and I don’t want to give too much away about what we thought the finale would be.

JB: I heard that the pilot is kind of like your instrument to maybe rack up some revenue to cover production costs and equipment. Can you tell me a little bit more about that?

RD: Yeah, so we started a GoFundMe page. On set, I realized how hard everyone was working because as we are

like student filmmakers, we don’t really get a lot of resources.

I wanted to bring in some revenue so we could be able to feed the cast and crew on set and really spend the whole day on set and be able to make something, instead of making something 27 times. But yeah, I think it would be easier to be able to produce if we had funding for props and funding for costumes because we don’t really specifically have that through anything else.

JB: Since we’ve been in quarantine, how has that impacted production? How have you in the meantime generated other ideas or inspiration? How have you not let momentum get lost?

AD: I think having the episode just come out helped motivate me a little more than I had been, and seeing the responses from people. But yeah, what we’re trying to figure out right now is how can we do a web series remotely. How can we show these characters in a way that is still true and honest and entertaining, but through this sort of medium?

So we’re still gonna toss around ideas about that. But right now, we are interested in kind of making like a pocket series of “The Lucky Few.” It wouldn’t necessarily follow the original kind of stories that we had and the production we were going to do because we want to save those when we actually have a full production crew. But something short and really fun, more on the comedic side probably episodes that we can do over the summer is what we’re looking to do. So yeah. Hopefully, there’ll be more news about that once we kind of figure it out. It’ll be interesting to see what we can do because it’s definitely an interesting medium to act in.

RD: Like, FaceTime and Zoom calls are a way that a lot of people are still making content, like “Parks and Rec” released a Zoom episode. A lot of people are doing it like that and that could also be a good way to show these two characters as best friends who are separated during quarantine. I don’t know if we’re going to do it in the context of that or just separated and would call each other and FaceTime each other and talk to each other.

Find further information on “The Lucky Few” on page 59 or at buzzsawmag.org.

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RAW SAW FROM THE

Rye Bread - Audrey Lang

by Rachael Powles, News & Views Co-editor; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

On April 2, students flocked to Zoom to engage in something they haven’t been able to do for a while: watch a play together. Over 77 people attended the reading of senior Theatre Studies major Audrey Lang’s new play “Rye Bread,” presented by Theatrists Theatrics. The play follows 18-year-old Rye through a painfully boring summer internship at their older cousin Tessa’s office. Having failed economics, they must complete this internship to officially graduate high school. While their mothers Rachel and Kate do their best to be understanding, the debate over what to do with their sassy yet introspective child brings up old tensions that reveal that family life is not always as perfect as we try to make it seem.

It was clear that the audience did not quite know what to expect from a Zoom performance, but the production crew took immediate, effective steps to create something resembling normalcy. Even just hearing someone welcome you to the “theater” and present you with a link to a program felt like slipping back into an old routine. Director Michael Tricca and the actors found ways to embrace the unusual circumstances. The company turned their videos on and off to simulate entrances and exits, and used objects at their disposal for props, even pretending to pass a pitcher of lemonade from screen to screen.

Stage directions were read aloud, with the reader’s video displaying a photo of the setting.

Lang curates intensely realistic situations in her writing. Amid her poignant observations and metaphors, she does not lose the beauty of everyday language, from debates over who gets the extra tomatoes from the salad, to who’s responsible for getting rid of the rats in the office to the decadence of pre-dinner ice cream. “Rye Bread” reminds you that real life is just as complex as the fantastical—a stark reminder in these uncertain times.

In a post-show talkback, the playwright explained that she has always been interested in the dynamics of queer families and “the not-so-nice things we sometimes say to each other.” Indeed “Rye Bread” provides an intimate portrait of queer characters, and in a refreshing change of pace, their queerness is never presented as a conflict. Rachel and Kate are welcomed by their extended family at all times, there’s never any discussion of trauma and even the snarky Tessa refrains from insults based on sexuality. In a theatre landscape that tends to focus on coming out narratives and the ensuing abuse, we can only hope that more plays follow in “Rye Bread’s” footsteps and focus on everyday simplicity and joy in the lives of queer people.

The play is also curious about the power of names, which can often be a facet of the queer experience. Rye bitterly reminds the people in their life that their name is no longer Rylee, while stubbornly refusing to call their co-intern Daniel by his preferred name, Dan. When referred to as “Mom,” Kate is a doting, indulgent parent, but when her short temper and sense of superiority take hold, her family bitingly reduces her to “Dr. Kate.” We can curate our names to an extent, we can select what sides of our personalities we want to show the world, but we can’t always control how other people see us.

At the emotional core of the piece is the sweet sincerity of the love between these characters. From Kate’s nickname for her child who gives the play its name, to the tenderness Rachel shows in her more quiet moments, it is clear that even when they act impulsively, they are still family. Maybe Rye will never excel at economics, and Dr. Kate will always be a bit full of herself, and Tessa will always be stuck up, and Rachel will always be a bit brash, but what ties them together will always be love. It’s a lesson we can all take to heart at a time when we may be in very close quarters with our immediate families. Love is messy, and “Rye Bread” reminds us that there is beauty to be found in the mess.

Congratulations to the cast and crew!

Cast & Creatove Team: Director: Michael Tricca Dramaturg: Kaylah Marr Rye: Naandi Jamison Dr. Kate: Stella Pruitt Rachel: Megan Lynn Schmidt Tessa: Kimmi Neuschulz Dan: Rhys Washington Nick Kyrgios: Jordan Sledd Stage Directions: Morgan Kingsley

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Yo Hago Lo Que Me Da La Gana (YHLQMDLG) Bad Bunny

by Brianna Diaz, Staff Writer

Bad Bunny— real name: Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio— has been around in the music scene since 2016, but didn’t gain popularity and recognition until around 2017. Ever since, he has been crushing the charts with fire collaborations such as Bronx native Cardi B, famous actor, Will Smith; and even the “Puerto Rican King of Salsa,” Marc Anthony. Within that year, he has also created an amazing album with J Balvin, titled Oasis and was featured on Nio Garcia’s famous hit and remix Te Boté. He has been changing the message in Latin Hip Hop/Reggaeton since the very beginning, but the Puerto Rican native is crushing the charts with his new album, “Yo Hago Lo Que Me Da La Gana” (YHLQMDLG) or, as translated in English: “I Do Whatever I Want.” With Bad Bunny releasing this album, his popularity, sound, and fans have skyrocketed, including me! Being a Puerto Rican female myself as well as seeing Bad Bunny grow and become something better and more original than the older “Reggaeton King’’ which is Daddy Yankee, it’s a pleasure to see what changes he is making and pursuing in the Latin Hip Hop/Reggaeton genre.

“YHLQMDLG” came out in late February 2020. Many fans waited patiently for the album and ever since it came out, it has received many positive reviews. Personally, I was never into Bad Bunny, but once my family started getting into him, I couldn’t be the only one left out, so I gave it a listen. After listening and trying to understand the lyrics— Spanish isn’t considered my second language—I would rate this album 10/10. My favorites include “La Dificíl,” “La Santa,” “Yo Perrero Sola,” “Vete,” “25/8” and “P FKN R.” After listening to the album, from front to back and back to front, Bad Bunny complies a range of emotions and messages portrayed in the album, both important/serious and others just for fun.

Bad Bunny has even created music videos for the popular and well-known songs such as La Dificíl, Pero Ya No, Yo Perrero Sola, and many more. Most of the songs contain music videos but out of the many, the one that caught my eye had to be his most popular, Yo Perrero Sola. Not only is Bad Bunny going against the transphobia in the Latinx Community, he is also supporting the tragic story of a trans woman being slain in Puerto Rico in broad daylight. In a performance on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon,” he performed “Ignorantes” featuring Sech. In both the music video and on live television, Bad Bunny chose to wear a black skirt with a shirt that read: “Mataron an Alexa. No a Un Hombre Con Falda” which translates to: “They killed Alexa. Not a man with a skirt.” Alexa Negrón Luciano, who is also known as, Neulisa Luciano Ruiz, passed away from an unfortunate hate crime in Puerto Rico, because she was a trans woman. What Bad Bunny wore on stage that night of the performance did spark up a couple of comments but many were in support of his decision as well as supporting the loss of Luciano Ruiz.

Overall, if you love Latin Hip-Hop/Reggaeton, important messages yet having fun all at the same time, this album is for you!

Fetch the Bolt Cutters - Fiona Apple

by Brennan Carney, Staff Writer

Fiona Apple made her music debut at only 18 years old. In the following 24 years, she released three more albums that left her with 10 million albums sold worldwide. But it also left her with a tumultuous relationship with her music and the media. After The Idler Wheel…, Apple went dark once again.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters brings a new side to Fiona Apple’s music. Apple seems to have found a way to capture all the ups and downs of life on one record. Depression, love, relationships and power dynamics are woven through the album and are complemented by thick, rhythmic instrumentation. Fetch the Bolt Cutters brings a new maturity to the same concepts from previous albums.

Instrumentation-wise, the music reflects not just the lyrics, but the setting in which the record was made. In a detailed New Yorker piece, Apple talks about the long process behind the powerful, sometimes even violent, percussive nature of the album. The record contains sometimes simpler arrangements in terms of number of instruments than previous works, but the rhythms in each song are complex and driving. Some songs have dogs barking, a clanging metal butterfly and even Cara Delevingne singing the words “Fetch the Bolt Cutters.”

The title track tackles the history of Apple’s relationship with the music industry and people who tried to push her down along the way. On “Fetch the Bolt Cutters,” she sings:

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Those it girls hit the ground Comparing the way I was to the way she was Sayin’ I’m not stylish enough and I cry too much And I listened because I hadn’t found my own voice yet.

Reaching levels of fame at the age of 17 had its repercussions for Apple, including the media criticizing her looks.

Apple was raped at age 12 and told Rolling Stone that it contributed to her struggle with an eating disorder, which was aggravated further by criticisms about the sexual nature of her first single and Grammy-winning song “Criminal.”

Another side of the album relates to feminism, female power and even the #MeToo movement. Apple pleads for women to bond and not become pawns by allowing men to pit them against each other.

“Ladies” is a song written like a message from a narrator for the women whom her ex will later be in a relationship with. She mentions how the “parallax view” that each person involved in a relationship makes it extremely complex. Apple told Vulture that the song is a reflection on how she feels about how “the other woman” should be treated; the blame put on the woman is unfair because she simply “fell in love with some guy.”

One of my personal favorites is “Rack of His.” The song feels like it is about several stories, but basically all of them are about being so deeply in love that you are blind. Apple sings about a man’s rack of guitars, comparing it to women “Lined up like eager fillies, outstretched like legs of Rockettes.”

I think this album is special because it marks a shift in the viewpoint of the characters in Fiona’s songs. I get the sense that she feels a little less lost and a lot more powerful, which shines through beautifully on the album.

Fetch The Bolt Cutters is angry and honest about all the right things. At the same time, despite all the anger and sadness and fear that people hold for others, we are all connected. “It’s this pulse,” Apple said. “And we all share it, and it sounds so cheesy. But it wasn’t in my head; it was out of it. It was among us all.”

The Tweedy Show - The Tweedy Family

by Brennan Carney, Staff Writer Coronavirus in the United States has resulted in nationwide quarantine, beginning as early as the second week in March. Luckily, starting the third week in March, a certain musical family started a nightly live stream. Welcome to “The Tweedy Show.”

Complete with it’s own brand new, 60s style cartoon intro, “The Tweedy Show” consists of Wilco lead singer Jeff Tweedy, sons Sammy and Spencer, and his wife Susie, who also films the livestream every night. Jeff and Spencer also have their own duo band under the name Tweedy if you want to check out their music. On the livestream, Tweedy and sons play several covers, Wilco tunes and originals each night, with comedic banter and stories between Susie and the boys dispersed throughout.

The Tweedys’ livestream isn’t the only music live stream happening right now. Various music publications like Pitchfork, The Fader, Stereogum and many others have invited artists to play live on their Instagram accounts. In addition, musicians are holding their own live music shows for fans to watch, and sometimes include links to places for donations.

Musicians have gotten super creative with live streaming during the pandemic, including making virtual music festivals and live performances on Minecraft.

Amidst all of the other live streams happening around the world at this time, I think the Tweedys’ livestream stands out. By far the most natural and home-y, the quips and crosstalk between Susie and Jeff are unmatched. Susie, who never reveals her face (except for that one time…), provides a hilarious, self-deprecating narration that contrasts the chill tone of the Tweedy men. Their house and their family creates an atmosphere that immediately feels like home to those who watch, and the music and crazy life stories are an added bonus.

Some nights are almost all laughs, while others take on a more serious tone. The Tweedys took a night to honor musician John Prine, who passed away on April 7th from COVID-19. They also honored Bill Withers when he passed away by playing “Lean on Me.” Recurring elements on their livestream include: Jeff’s bathrobe, Susie’s “your butt…” comebacks, Spencer’s kneedrumming, a canned ham autographed by Letterman and an almost ridiculous amount of knick-knacks in the Tweedy household. Also, if you tune in, expect to be referred to not as viewers, but as “clients.”

Which brings us to how to watch the show. “The Tweedy Show” is live every night (except Wednesdays) on Susie’s Instagram @stuffinourhouse at 9 pm CDT. If you are not able to watch live, Susie has made sure to save each episode to the account for 24 hours, or you can find them on YouTube.

“The Tweedy Show” has become a comfort for many viewers, especially as you learn the jokes the family shares. In a time of chaos and unpredictability, it’s nice to sit down and watch the Tweedys. I encourage everyone to tune into the quirky show in the Jewish, vegetarian, Chicago-based family’s living room when they need some laughter and music in a dark time.

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Feel Good: Season 1

by Olivia DiPasca, Contributing Writer

Amidst all that’s going on right now, it can be difficult to feel good. We are living in a new normal where a lot of things feel out of our control. These days, it seems the only things we can control are the movies and television shows we use to distract and entertain ourselves. Early on in the COVID-19 pandemic, Netflix released one of its newest series, “Feel Good.” Six episodes long, and only 24 to 25 minutes each, this binge-worthy dramedy highlights the highs and lows of a new relationship, along with the insecurities, instability and personal pain each person inevitably brings to the table.

Set somewhere in modern-day England, “Feel Good” follows Mae Martin’s budding career as a standup comedian alongside her whirlwind romance with a woman named George, a young school teacher who has only ever previously dated men. The series is a semi-autobiographical ode to Martin’s past as a recovering narcotics addict, and a look into the complexities of sexual orientation, gender identity and love. Taking on dark and serious topics such as addiction, forgiveness and secrecy, this comedy does well at intertwining Martin’s unique humor with real-life struggle. Although “Feel Good” is an incredibly personal story specific to Martin and her experiences, it offers the audience something relatable to recognize and bond with throughout each character’s journey.

The show stars Mae Martin as herself, a young Canadian comedian navigating a somewhat new life in the United Kingdom. Playing alongside her is Charlotte Ritchie as George, the sensible, lovely U.K. native and Mae’s new “straight” girlfriend. The cast is bolstered and enhanced by Sophie Thompson as Martin’s quirky support group sponsor, Maggie; and the hilarious Lisa Kudrow as Martin’s mother, a headstrong, insufferable, yet caring woman whose tough love for Martin serves as its own comedic brand throughout the series.

While “Feel Good” at its heart is a comedy, it’s also a harsh and honest examination of our flaws as emotional, complex and ever-changing humans and the obstacles one faces in a world that is equally as fickle and confusing. The story begins one night after the two leading lovers meet at one of Martin’s standup gigs. They quickly fall for one another and develop a relationship that is as fast-paced as it is intense. New to the idea of dating a woman, George feels pressure to identify her sexuality and hides her relationship from her friends and family. This naturally causes conflict between her and Mae, whose subsequent self-doubt sends her into a spiral of toxic dependency and identity crises accompanied by the issue of feeling unable to control it all. The arrival of Mae’s parents only further complicates things, as Mae is forced to confront her past and take a brutal look at who she is today, and who she wants to be tomorrow. What follows is a tumultuous ride as both Mae and George look to find and better themselves.

Delicately written and masterfully performed, “Feel Good” is genuine in its portrayal of the human experience, and is certain to make viewers laugh, cry, contemplate, question, and hopefully, even in today’s struggle, feel… good.

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Some Podcasts That

Won’t Make You Wanna Die

Thinking About the State of Our World Eyes closed, ears open // by Adam Messinger, Contributing Writer

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hese are tough times. But podcasts make it a little better. Whether you’re making dinner, going for a long drive or taking another shower just to feel something, there’s almost certainly a podcast that will improve your current state of being.

My boyfriend, who like me is now working from home, chooses to play business and political podcasts. I have never enjoyed that side of the podcasting world. So here are some unique fun shows that have really helped me during these isolating and dark times. I hope they will help you take your mind off of what’s happening outside your home.

You’re Wrong About What is it? A story-telling based podcast that reconsiders an event or person from the past that’s been miscast in the public imagination, usually through media misrepresentation.

How long is it? Anywhere from 45 mins-60 mins Who hosts it? Two journalists: Sarah Marshall (yes, that’s her name) and Michael Hobbes (a queer writer for Huffington Post) As a lover of true crime, this podcast naturally appealed to me, but it doesn’t focus solely on murder or other horrible things.

Most of the topics are based on public figures or happenings from the 90s that have begun to take on their own mythic quality due to the misinformation that’s been generated by them. I can’t recommend this podcast enough. Also it’s great to fall asleep to.

Episode recommendations: • “Anna Nicole Smith”: A look at the famous icon and punchline of the early 2000’s.

• “D.A.R.E.”: A deep dive into the shockingly unhelpful D.A.R.E. program.

• “Sex Offenders”: An examination of the view of sex offenders that is held in the public imagination and the real drawbacks of the sex offender registry.

• Also, their two part special on Tonya Harding is amazing.

This Podcast Will Kill You What is it? From the Exactly Right Network, this is a weekly podcast that tackles a new disease or affliction in a relatively light-hearted manner a la “My Favorite Murder.”

How long is it? 60 mins-90 mins Who hosts it? Ecologists and epidemiologists Erin Welsh and Erin Allmann Updyke.

I know I said that these podcasts would help you escape from what’s happening in the world, and that’s still my goal, but for some reason this one has really worked for me in the same way that listening to true crime has helped alleviate my stress about being murdered. I recommend it if you want some non-Corona disease talk. If that’s your bag, then this is your podcast!

Episode recommendations: • “Episode 48: Botulism”: a discussion of botox and when it goes bad.

• “Episodes 5 & 6: The Plague”: a two part special on the original HBIC: The Black Plague.

• And their ongoing series on COVID-19—but again, if you can handle it.

Web Crawlers What is it? A deep-dive into those conspiracy theories and Reddit pages that keep you up at night and take you down an online rabbit hole.

How long is it? 30 mins-60 mins.

Who hosts it? Internet sleuths Melissa Stetten and Ali Segel.

There is absolutely no better way to get through this time of misinformation than by escaping into the world of conspiracies.

And what better way to do it then with two delightful women? This is a podcast genre that is often done by a lot of men and let’s face it, no one wants that. So this way you’ll get your conspiracy fix and not have to deal with any bro-y antics.

Episode recommendations: • “Vampires”: Are they real? Have they been real before? Let’s find out!

• “Denver Airport:” I’m not even going to tell you about this one, so go listen right now!

• “Corporate Cults:” A deep dive into corporations and businesses that forge a sense of community among their employees so they can exploit them.

• “Mothman:” In mid-century middle America, many people reported seeing a large “bird-like” creature with red glowing eyes. Was it hysteria? Or an omen of an impending disaster?

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You Must Remember This What is it? A long-form storytelling podcast exploring the secret and/or forgotten histories of Hollywood’s first century.

How long is it? 45 mins-60 mins.

Who hosts it? Karina Longworth (founder of Cinematical.com, former film critic for LA Weekly) who writes, narrates, records and edits each episode.

This is a heavily-researched work that is amazing in every aspect of its production: from its storytelling to its informative nature, I cannot recommend this podcast enough if you are into the old world of Hollywood and podcasts with mood music.

Episode recommendations: • “Six Degrees of Song of the South”: A six-part series that delves into the making of the most problematic Disney film of all time: Song of the South.

• “Charles Manson’s Hollywood”: I’m sure you can guess what this twelve-part series is about.

• “Episode 4: Frances Farmer”: A stand-alone episode that focuses on the life and times of everyone’s favorite little rebel actress and brief psych-ward patient: Frances Farmer.

Crime Junkie What is it? A true crime podcast that covers a wide variety of stories with much of the attention turned towards cases that are not as widely reported on.

How long? 30 mins-50 mins Who hosts it? True crime aficionados and childhood best friends: Ashley Flowers and Brit (just “Brit” for confidentiality purposes.)

This is my favorite source for cold, hard true crime content. I often pick this podcast because of their bite-sized digestible nature when I’m making dinner or at the gym. Ashley Flowers offers the perfect combination of serious, hair-raising reporting, and light-hearted true crime talk that allows you to go on with your day without feeling crushed by the monstrous tendencies of humans.

Episode recommendations: • “UNIDENTIFIED: Sumter County Does”: A man and woman were found in a car, shot dead. They still remain unidentified to this day. This is my actual favorite murder of all time.

• “MYSTERIOUS DEATH OF: Kendrick Johnson”: A high school student was found dead, wrapped up in a mat in the school gym. Was it an accident? Or murderrrrrrrrrr?!

• “CONSPIRACY: Ray Gricar”: When a man goes missing, his absence ends up linking him to a famous case of pedohpilia and misconduct, but was his disappearance of his own volition?

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard What is it? A long-form interview that focuses on the messiness of being human with celebrity subjects who are vulnerable and honest about their struggles and shortcomings, while still being fun and silly.

How long is it? 90 mins-2 hours.

Who hosts it? Dax Shepard: husband of Kristen Bell, and star of “Idiocracy” and “Zathura,” as well as “Parenthood?”

While I took a stand and said no male-dominated podcasts, I think this one is the exception. Dax is an excellent host and conversationalist, and he truly places the emphasis on the interview subject. I have rarely seen any other type of interview form like this that feels as unedited and raw and not just for laughs on late night TV. Also his guests are top-notch choices.

Episode recommendations: • “Mila Kunis”: Icon, legend, star of That 70’s Show and Black Swan.

• “Gillian Flynn”: Author of Sharp Objects and Gone Girl.

• “Malcom Gladwell”: Journalist and author of “What the Dog Saw” and “Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking.”

• “Monica Lewinsky”: The public figure at the center of the Clinton Impeachment scandal and recent social issues advocate.

The Sex Ed What is it? An exploration of sex, health, and consciousness that is here to educate, inform and inspire new discussions around sexual wellness and freedom.

How long is it? 45 mins-60 mins Who hosts it? Liz Goldwyn, a writer, filmmaker and founder of TheSexEd.com.

This is for all of you who prefer a little bit more free-flowing discussion as opposed to story-telling. It’s structured around a talk with a very cool and exciting guest about the topic of sexual health. But it’s not a preachy, after-school special that is spewing information at you. This podcast really feels liberating and a bit taboo. It doesn’t exist to be a pamphlet from your high school guidance counselor.

Episode recommendations: • “Natasha Lyonne”: Star of “Russian Doll” and “But I’m a Cheerleader,” and an overall bad-ass.

• “Violet Chachki”: Winner of season 7 of Rupaul’s Drag Race.

• “Dr. Jocelyn Elders”: The first African-American woman to become Surgeon General of the United States.

• “Carrie Goldberg”: A victims’ rights attorney and founder of C.A. Goldberg, a cutting edge law firm that helps victims fight against general douchebaggery.

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Lovett or Leave It What is it? A live podcast that breaks down the week’s biggest news stories in a comedic way with a panel of comedians, actors, and journalists.

How long is it? 60 mins-90 mins.

Who hosts it? Former Obama speechwriter and queer advocate: Jon Lovett.

My boyfriend forced me to include this one because he thinks it’s important to “learn about what’s happening in the world.”

And honestly, if there’s one podcast and one person that I would let teach me hard during Miss Corona, it’s gotta be Lovett.

His safe voice makes me want to curl up into his arms and forget about how bad things truly are. He truly makes living in America seem like a less daunting task. Also him and his panel are truly hilarious. Think “Weekend Update” before Colin Jost happened.

Episode recommendations: Whatever you want, babe. Freestyle with this one.

Switchblade Sisters What is it? Deep cuts on genre flicks through feminist lenses and discussion.

How long is it? 45 mins.

Who hosts it? Film critic and screenwriter, April Wolfe, who sits down every week with a new female filmmaker.

I’ve found that listening to people talk about movies that I’ve already seen has allowed me a sense of control. But this is a hard line to walk because, again, most film critique podcasts are male-fronted and we all know how that goes. Which is why I love Wolfe’s podcast. She’s not here to convince you that a movie is great. She is here to explore iconic films and discuss the world of filmmaking with another person in the industry who has a passion for genre-films.

It’s hard to listen to this podcast if you haven’t seen the movie, so my recommendations are going to be specific to me, but just so you can get a taste for what we’re working with here: • “‘Mad Max: Fury Road’ with ‘Birds of Prey’ director Cathy Yan” • “‘Heathers’ with ‘Jawline Director’ Liza Mandelup” • “‘Hereditary’ with ‘Pet Sematary’ Director Mary Lambert.”

The A24 Podcast What is it? A podcast sponsored by the very of-the-moment film company that brought you “Midsommar,” “The Farewell,” “Lady Bird” and “Moonlight.”

How long is it? Literally anywhere from 30 mins-90 mins. There are no rules.

Who hosts it? That’s the fun part! There is no host! Each episode pairs actors and filmmakers together to discuss a topic.

Okay, film bros, this is your moment! This podcast is great because the topics and people featured are always dream pairings.

They release episodes pretty sporadically, so don’t get too caught up in the glamour, unless you are prepared to wait several months in between episodes. Also you don’t have to worry about whether or not you like the host’s voice!

Episode recommendations: • “Deep Cuts with Ari Aster & Robert Eggers:” Aster is the director of the smash horror films “Hereditary” and “Midsommar,” while Eggers is the director of equally successful spooky mood pieces, “The Witch” and “The Lighthouse.” Hear them dish it out!

• “True Obsession with John Early and Toni Collette”: Early is a comedian and star of the TV show “Search Party” (which is also essential quarantine viewing) and Collette, well, Toni Collette single-handedly founded and settled America. So naturally they make a great pairing.

Honorable mention podcasts: “My Favorite Murder,” “Stuff You Should Know,” “Disgraceland,” “Hollywood Crime Scene,” “Whimsically Volatile,” “WTF w/ Marc Maron,” “The Moth,” “Root of Evil,” and “Why Won’t You Date Me?”

Adam Messinger is a fourth-year writing major who is headphones in, world out.

You can reach them at amessinger@ithac.a.edu.

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The Case for NBC’s

“The Good Place” Everything will be fine // by Mateo Flores, MOC Editor

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lue eyes open, on a calm picturesque couch in a quiet waiting room. The strapping Ted Danson opens the door and welcomes you in. “Welcome! Everything is fine.” This is how we begin in NBC’s recently concluded sitcom “The Good Place,” a show that after fifty-three heartfelt episodes, concluded early this year in January.

I have to admit, when I first heard of this show; I wasn’t all that drawn to it. The Good Place began in the same year as “Stranger Things,” “Westworld,” “The People vs. OJ,” and “Atlanta.” There was a lot to watch that year, and with streaming reaching new heights seemingly at all times, it was easy for me to turn my head to a network sitcom whose advertisements stressed the inherent sitcomyness of it. Kristen Bell and Ted Danson can’t say fuck in heaven; hijinks ensue. Though as I think many of the people who’ve seen the show can testify to; “The Good Place,” if anything, is not what it appears.

To be fair, that’s how “The Good Place” starts.

Eleanor Shellstrop (Kristen Bell) awakens in heaven, greeted by the charismatic Michael (Ted Danson). Michael introduces her to her eccentric neighbors, the philanthropic and exquisite Tahani (Jameela Jamil), stoic monk Jiyanhu (Manny Jacinto); and her soulmate, indecisive ethics and moral philosophy professor Chidi (William Jackson Harper). There’s only one problem; there’s been a mistake and Eleanor certainly does not belong in the Good Place.

This is, at its heart, the story of “The Good Place.”

An unconventionally serialized sitcom, the show follows the exploits of Eleanor as she tries to hide her huge secret from Michael while trying to learn how to be a better person from the most qualified person to teach her – her fake soulmate Chidi. The show integrates Eleanor’s moral philosophy lessons into the core of the show, as Eleanor, Chidi and their friends are forced to grapple with moral dilemmas from “The Trolley Problem” to “Contractualism.” That’s all to say that at the heart of “The Good Place” is the resounding and practically unanswerable question of: what makes a person good?

If the show’s discussion of philosophy doesn’t sway you, I think it’s fair to point out that “The Good Place” had philosophical consultants for the entirety of its run. Michael Shur, creator of “Parks and Recreation” and “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” took his responsibility in depicting philosophical concepts accurately and responsibly, perhaps to an unnecessary degree. However, I think the show’s dedication to this premise has allowed for it to possess a degree of heart and authenticity that a traditional sitcom may lack.

“The Good Place” wants you to ask yourself; what makes a person good? Again, “The Good Place” originated in 2016 when national, political and social divides were beginning to distinguish an amorphous set of morals and ethics that

begged us to ask ourselves some uncomfortable questions.

Cancel culture, political divisiveness, a shaky and unstable presidential cabinet led by political leaders that a slew of people had and continue to have no faith in; this was the world where The Good Place pondered what made a person good, ethically and morally. A daunting task for sure; but I think The Good Place tackled it, and that’s because “The Good Place” is no ordinary sitcom.

“The Good Place’s” original dramatic question, “What is Eleanor going to do now that she’s in heaven and doesn’t belong?” is quickly resolved by the end of the second episode. Rather, the show is structured so that each dramatic situation introduced in each episode creates next week’s tumultuously chaotic situation. This allows for “The Good Place” to adopt serialized storytelling where conflicts are planted early within the series. “The Good Place,” itself, doesn’t change; the writers’ room of the show is tactfully aware of the rules created by Michael Shur in its pilot and only builds upon the afterlife world that exists on the outside of “The Good Place.” From its point system that dictates whether you go to the heavenly Good Place or the hellish Bad Place, to the diaspora of infinitely knowledgeable Janets (D’Arcy Carden), to the Time Knife, the world of “The Good Place” was endlessly unpredictable in all of its forms. This makes sense when you consider that Schur based his hit sitcom on the storytelling structure of “Lost,” another landmark deviation in modern television. Almost every episode ends with a cliffhanger and if not, it sets the characters up for next week’s adventure.

And marvelously, the cast of “The Good Place” is a ragtag group of lovably flawed people. Eleanor, who on another sitcom would be a frustratingly stoic selfish person, is only perfect in how much she changes every week. The writers struck an excellent balance of advancing her enough while still giving her challenges that test her ever-evolving moral code. As the show evolves, so does its attention to the other characters. Chidi is forced to make large decisions despite his anxiety-induced “stomachaches,” Tahani confronts the vapid nature of her perceived image, and even Michael is forced to evolve. Watching season four in comparison with the first season, requires looking at totally different, evolved and almost fully realized character arcs. It’s great to confidently say by the show’s finale, each character becomes fully developed.

So what does “The Good Place” suppose makes someone good? If anything, “The Good Place” is very keen on the thought that past ideas of morals have become outdated in our modern world with social, cultural, political and global conflicts on the minds of many (Also thankfully, “The Good Place” does not exist in a vacuum; as the characters constantly

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reference the troubles of the modern world). “The Good Place” acknowledges identity differences (“Also, apparently I’m black? And they really do not like black ladies down there,” a line delivered flawlessly by Maya Rudolph), unintended consequences (“There’s this chicken sandwich, that if you eat it, means you hate gay people. And it’s delicious!”), and political correctness (Asking a woman to “smile more,” warrants negative points). This is all to say that “The Good Place” knows how hard it is to be a consciously good person in a world that is rapidly and endlessly changing. Schur, and his cast of colorful characters, repeat “What do we owe to each other?”

Referenced in the show itself, “What We Owe to Each Other,” a book by modern philosopher T.M Scanlon, is the thesis of “The Good Place.” As Eleanor, Chidi, Tahani, Jianyhu, Michael and Janet navigate a stagnant world with clear rules and boundaries (in other words, a totally different world from ours), they find ways to support each other and become better people. Telling Buzzfeed News, Schur himself said: “The idea that we owe certain things to other people, and the job of being alive on earth is to figure out what you owe to them and how you can provide it for them. That’s the only way that there will ever be any progress.”

Reflecting on Eleanor, a character who we quickly learn is selfish and ignorant Schur says: “Her problem was she lived by a creed and the creed was, ‘If I just go off by myself and I don’t form any close bonds with other people, then I don’t owe them anything and they don’t owe me anything and everybody wins. But the show has sort of said, ‘No, that’s not everybody winning. That’s everybody losing because you’re losing out on an important aspect of being alive on Earth, and you’re losing out on what you could contribute to a group of people, whether it’s a group of people that works together or lives together or whatever.’

Everybody loses when people are selfish.”

This isn’t exclusively Elanor’s conflict either, as the entire main cast of “The Good Place” grapples with how their actions affect others; from Chidi’s rigid indecisiveness, to Tahani’s motivated narcissism, even Janet’s stoic

unwavering intelligence, “The Good Place” positions its characters to be better people to each other, in which they find answers in considering others.

“To me, so many fundamental problems in America and in so many other Western countries, and I’m sure plenty of Eastern countries, is that people who are in the middle of a society are only thinking about, ‘How can I win? How can I be better? How can I defeat other people or rise above other people?’” he said. “And they have a fundamental belief that what life on Earth is about is competition and if someone else is winning, that means they lose.,” Schur said.

While it may seem overly simplistic in a world with relentless challenges and consequences, Schur and his talented cast and crew, strive to prove how that simplicity and a willingness to change can go a long way.

With a delightfully light and positive tone, a penchant for clever and at times even satirical humor, and not taking itself too seriously “The Good Place” is a landmark network sitcom, when our antiquated idea of what a sitcom looks like is seeming to evolve into something new.

“The Good Place,” with its atypical storytelling structure, philosophical musings, and cast of flawed however lovable characters, will leave an indelible mark on television.

While we’re all stuck inside, going from TV show to TV show, solemn distanced walks for breaths of fresh air and sifting through a bombardment of unsettling information on coronavirus and how it is and will affect every facet of our world, “The Good Place” settled its final chapter at just the right time. What do we owe to each other? Perhaps it’s just me, but this seems to be an excellent guiding principle for how we navigate a tumultuous world.

So with your downtime – between Zoom classes, online coursework and stressful trips to the grocery store— open your eyes, and take a trip to a sophisticated and enlightened world beyond. Hopefully, it brings some levity and even encourages some clarity in your own life. This will pass, everything will be fine. And for now, with all the love and knowledge in the universe take it sleazy.

Mateo Flores is a fourth-year writing for film, TV & emerging media major who scored negative afterlife points for muting video and audio during a Zoom class to continue sleeping in. You can contact them at mflores@ithaca.edu

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It’s a Beautiful Day in Quarantine Won’t you be my neighbor? // by Surina Belk-Gupta, Staff Writer; art by Carolyn Langer, Contributing Artist

I

haven’t left the house in about a week. I’m sick of staring at the peeling Hunger Games themed decor that covers my childhood bedroom– remnants from my 13-year-old self. There is a bitter irony in armageddon-centric posters in a time that feels like an actual armageddon. The Josh Hutcherson poster is taunting me.

I decide it’s finally time to go outside and go for a walk. My Dad joins me. We live in Houston, Texas so outside it’s a sweltering eighty-seven degrees already. I tell myself that the temperature is why I step out onto a car-less street and see no people in the park across the block. I’d decided to go for a walk for a sense of calm and normalcy. However, being outside is an unmistakably different experience. As we walk down the street, the few people in the neighborhood across the street skirt away from us. We are undoubtedly the only Guptas to be walking in the predominantly white area. “It’s refreshing to know that white people are crossing the street to get away from us for a reason beyond some outdated racism,” I cynically joke.

Everything feels different, even if it’s not actively visible. The white noise of the busy city street is gone. The typical waves and nods are gone. It’s hard to see if anyone is smiling because everyone is wearing a mask. The familiarity I grew up expecting from my surroundings is completely gone. Going outside feels dehumanizing, it feels like everyone is functioning for themselves. Instead of viewing my neighbors as people I see them as pandemic carrying threats, to be avoided at all costs.

Logically speaking, I’m eternally grateful for what I noticed on my walk. I’m so grateful my fellow Houstonians are not going to work, therefore I’m thankful for the quiet street. I’m glad people are consciously crossing the street to retain distance. I’m thankful for the masks and the gloves.

But, when you are outside looking for a sense of normalcy it’s hard to remember the reasons behind it and not just simply feel isolated and dehumanized. Kindness feels gone.

After this walk, I came back inside and couldn’t stop thinking about the idea of a neighborhood. I grew up watching “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.” Fred Rogers’ television program ran for almost 32 years. Each episode introduced a different moral or lesson to the young audience. The show was fundamentally built on the concept of community, a neighborhood, to be specific. His core concept was that of kindness – to others and to yourself. He showed this through the neighborhood on the television; it served as a tangible example for each lesson.

When I came back from my walk, I couldn’t help but think “What would ‘Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood’ look like in quarantine? What if the neighborhood didn’t even have the freedom for short walks around the block? What if no characters could leave their homes unless absolutely necessary? Would the core value of a neighborhood disappear because of this? Would the show even exist in our current situation?”

Rogers, of course, passed away in 2003, so these are not questions he can answer. But, as an individual that has seen close to all of the 912 episodes he created, I feel like I can begin to paint a picture of how it would look. He spent his career showing the neighborhood idea to children, but his message was not one that demanded the viewers to exist in the same setting on screen. His teachings felt universally applicable to every situation. The classic form of kindness that builds a neighborhood, the kindness Rogers built his life around teaching, must not disappear.

Kindness is more important than ever. Quarantine demands self-awareness for others as well as ourselves. We cross the street away from our neighbors not to just save ourselves, but to protect them. Every decision right now, for the first time in my life, is built on a core value of the safety of others and not just my own protection. When life is stripped down to the bare minimum, Mr. Rogers’ signature kindness becomes more obvious.

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I say all of this to implore others to remember a basic form of kindness right now. I ask others to pretend as if we all live in a quarantined version of Fred Rogers’ neighborhood, now more than ever. Consciousness of others is the basis for what we, as average citizens, can do to aid in recovery. Worrying about your neighbors can genuinely save their lives. In a time where neighborhoods and communities seem to be fading, they have never been more important.

The COVID-19 Virus, assumed to have originated from Wuhan, China, led to instant prejudice throughout the world but particularly in the United States. Racism towards East Asian individuals, an already deep-seeded issue in the nation has become a far more glaring and pressing issue as a result. I once again ask myself what Mr. Rogers would teach on the show about this. I instantly thought of a moment on Rogers’ show that feels ever applicable today. In 1969, Rogers created an episode where he took a footbath with Francois Clemons, a black police officer on the show.

This was remarkable for a myriad of reasons. To see a black man in the 60s play a police officer and to see him sharing foot bath water with an upper-class white man was an entirely unprecedented television occurrence.

This event is a key reflection of the quiet activism on the show. Rogers led social justice through acts of small and large kindnesses.

Kindness and humanity overcome racial prejudice. It feels too simple to just say we need to view each other as humans first, but Mr. Rogers proved that, in many ways, it is that simple. The racial tensions in countless neighborhoods are so prominent right now because of a new and horrific racist ideology derived from the COVID-19 panic. It’s important for the idea of the shared footbath to come back. Of course, I suggest no one share any form of a bath in a pandemic, but the idea remains. We are humans first; humans facing different prejudices naturally, but right now united in a global crisis. Humanity is the key to retaining cultural civility, just as humanity was the key to Rogers’ show. Racism can simply not exist in any variation of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, pandemic or not.

After my rambling inner monologue of Fred Rogers’ teachings, I decided to go on a walk again the next day. Except, on this walk, I choose to think of what I see in the light that it would be shown in Fred Rogers’ neighborhood.

This time, as my next-door neighbor sees me coming and crosses the street, I remember this act is social distancing is an act of concern for a global community and not just himself. I remember the mask that is preventing me from grinning is so I do not run the risk of having my outdoor stroll be the cause of infection for older

Houston residents. Each and every act of lockdown practice I observe around me, I choose to view as an act of community preservation.

The pandemic isn’t over but neither is the world.

I encourage everyone right now to do their best to not feel dehumanized by others nor to feel unkind in doing what is necessary for safety. At its core, kindness is doing what is right. Currently what is “right” is what we need to do to save our world and community. “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” no longer airs on television, but I like to think it lives on in each and every community in our country in some way. Choose to be kind and choose to act for others. That is all I can ask of my fellow citizens right now. And most importantly, if your situation and job allow you to, stay home. The idea of a “neighborhood community” is not going anywhere and neither should you.

Surina Belk-Gupta is a first-year film, photo & visual arts major who will be binging “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” during quarantine. You can reach them at sbelkgupta@ithaca.edu.

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sexxxtape Hot, sexy, empowered tape // by Adam Messinger, Contributing Writer Art, left to right, by Mary Raboy and Lauren Reid, with tape designs by Quinn Karlok

I

don’t know about you, but I’m fascinated by other peoples’ sex lives. And the theme of this issue of Buzzsaw is Tape. So, why not talk about the sexiest, most unique tape there is: bondage tape!

Maybe you didn’t know that there is tape made specifically for bondage purposes. Maybe you don’t know anything about bondage! Both are fine. We are all just trying to learn.

Bondage tape is made from 2-inch wide PVC that only sticks to itself and not to hair and skin. It comes in a wide variety of colors and, like duct tape, can be used for a million and one uses like: • General limb tying: the most famous form of bondage where you or your partner can restrain you by tying your limbs together, a bedpost or to whatever you need to anchor yourself!

• Mummification: a specific type of bondage that involves wrapping part—if not all—of your body up, not unlike a mummy.

• Pony play and other specialized forms of BDSM/kinks: Google it if you have other questions.

• Gage widener: a non-sexual, but still useful way of stretching the holes in your ears out for larger gages.

Bondage tape cannot be used for: • Making wallets.

Maybe you’re thinking to yourself: okay I’ve seen “Fifty Shades of Grey” and they never used any tape. And while you’re not wrong, it’s important to understand that there is no one right way of engaging in BDSM and it doesn’t always look like the movies. The only thing you need is consent and trust between the Dom and the Sub—and maybe a pair of something sexy and restrictive. Because bondage— like you—contains multitudes.

Before we go any further, let’s take a look at what BDSM as a practice is and how it relates to our friend, tape. BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline/ Dominance, Submission/Sadism, and Masochism.

Which basically means, it’s a kink that allows people to act on fantasies of either being in charge or being subordinate—i.e. Dominant and Submissive.

These are all roles that are already at play in non-BDSM sexual dynamics, but here they are heightened.

Now enter: bondage tape. This useful little innovation has proven itself to be quite versatile and a great way to try your hand at BDSM and discover what you like before going out and buying something expensive.

In a perfect world, I would have bought bondage tape and tried it out so that I could give you first-hand experience, but sadly that isn’t the case.

I took the time to separately sit down virtually with two friends of mine who have used tape in their bondage practices and they answered some of my— and I’m assuming—your burning questions for them.

They both wanted to remain anonymous, so let me introduce you to my two friends: Darren, a real cool Dom-guy who has light experience in bondage that is relatively limited to household objects, and Brooke, a super cool dominatrix who has vast experience with bondage including for aesthetic purposes, as well as engaging as a Dom and a Sub.

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Adam: What is your preferred method of bondage?

Darren: Neckties, belts, scarves. Things you can find around the house.

Brooke: Leather cuffs or collars are my favorite kind of bondage restraint. If I do restrain, I tend to use zip ties or collars/harnesses.

Adam: What has your experience been like using tape in bondage?

Darren: It was one of the first things [my partner and I] ever bought because we were finally old enough to purchase it. I liked it mainly because it was inconspicuous in my room because at the time, I was still living with my parents and in high school, so you can imagine what that was like and having something like a roll of tape, compared to a ball gag, was an ideal scenario.

Brooke: I enjoyed the feeling of being in the presence of someone who would be so vulnerable with me, as this is one of the main aspects that attracts me to the world of BDSM. I personally would not choose this method of restraining because aesthetic and uniformity during play are also elements I value—using something like a leather collar, silk blindfold, or zip-tie makes more sense for me.

Adam: Are there any advantages to using bondage tape?

Darren: Definitely like I said, the inconspicuousness. But also it felt safer to use than tying knots when we didn’t really know what we were doing.

This felt more controlled and like we couldn’t fuck it up.

Brooke: Tape has advantages in capturing a certain mood, but that’s really the only advantage it has over other types of bondage restraints.

Roleplay is where one would predominantly find tape as a form of bondage restraint nowadays.

Adam: Are there any disadvantages?

Darren: It personally doesn’t do it for me as much.

I really like using a necktie because that’s like a hot power move—wouldn’t advise against it though, it just wouldn’t be my go-to.

Brooke: Waste is a big one, but also comfort possibly? It’s not really a restraint used for comfort, it’s used for the aesthetic above all and the symbolism that tape has in our culture when restraining a person.

Adam: Would you recommend using bondage tape?

Darren: I would say use what you have to start and then figure out what you like and if bondage tape seems like a good move for you, then do it. It was definitely a good first sex-shop purchase for a couple of eighteen-year-olds.

Brooke: I would totally recommend trying any kind of experimenting, if you haven’t already, with tape! Trying new things out, especially with your sexual partner is a comfortable way to explore new sexual experiences and carry out fantasies. But for me personally it’s not my fav kind of restraint and I don’t think it allows the level of control that I’d like my subs to have during BDSM play.

So there it is, friends! Go forth and discover what you like and don’t apologize to anyone for your kink—unless, it involves taking away someone’s consent. But other than that, do it up, baby. For more information about bondage tape and BDSM practices, check out the YouTube account of Lovehoney or the webpage of Mistress Couple.

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buzzzzbyes My Buzzsaw journey has been an unexpected pleasure. I came to Buzzsaw in the first semester of my first year, with fellow editor Audra Joiner. I came fresh off my experience working on Images, my high school’s arts and lit mag. I was dubious writing for Buzzsaw that first semester, not knowing how to write for P&C and feeling too intimidated to write journalistic pieces. Instead, I began my Buzzsaw tenure with a review of Darren Aronofsky’s “mother!” Thinking of where I began, to this article, where I’m concluding (if coronavirus doesn’t cancel my semester in LA) I’m very pleased to say that Buzzsaw always allowed me to work and write on my own terms. This, unfortunately, is a rarity in many publications, whether they’re on college campuses or not. So for that, Buzzsaw, I will forever be grateful.

Though it does feel a bit hollow too, in a way. I pictured writing this in the Buzzcave during a quietly bustling production weekend. Instead, I’m writing this on the back porch of my off-campus house, looking up the hill, past residential complexes and houses toward campus. I don’t know if I’ll ever see the inside of the Buzzcave again, so I give my best to the legendary bottle of Xtreme Rum that will go unchallenged… at least by me.

This final issue of Buzzsaw for me—Tape—does feel in a lot of ways representative of my college experience.

College was never perfect, and I am not one to pretend it was even close. Frankly, if I gave a speech at graduation, a lot of it would not cast Ithaca College in the best light. Bureaucracy, a shifting campus political climate, and an overreliance on student leaders, provided with only breadcrumbs of compensation, to support other students (see my RA article for more) are just some of the many campus issues that popped an otherwise seemingly perfect bubble.

That is to say that a lot of my college experience was just trying to hold myself together as best as I could. Buzzsaw was always a platform to simultaneously scream into the void and piss people off. Thankfully, after our 20th-anniversary celebration this year, I was pleased to learn that that is Buzzsaw’s tradition. I wish I could go back to that first meeting and tell myself abrasively that this is exactly where I belonged.

I didn’t anticipate becoming the MOC Editor at all, if anything, my knowledge of pop culture outside of film and television was disappointingly surface level. But if there is one person to thank, it is most definitely Alex Coburn. Alex, my former co-editor, was at many points one of the most consistent voices that reminded me that I was on the right path and always corrected me when I wasn’t. I feel so lucky to have learned under her—how to look at films with nuanced criticism, how to edit with encouragement, and most importantly, how important it is to take the road less traveled if it’ll make you a happier person. Alex taught me bold, unadulterated confidence—how to have it, and how to use it. I feel so grateful to call Alex my mentor and my friend.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Audra, the one who kept me in Buzzsaw and always encouraged me to come, especially in that first semester where I wasn’t sure where I belonged. I always knew that Audra was an impassioned writer, a clever thinker, and a comforting presence. I’m glad that Audra and I connected and reconnected through Buzzsaw, a common ground where shooting the shit is just as welcomed as intense political discourse.

It’s hard to say goodbye, especially considering the fact that doing this remotely makes it feel like I’m not saying goodbye at all. Though I think that’s for the best. Buzzsaw won’t go away. It feels invincible against campus politics, budget cuts, and those who don’t like what we have to say. We don’t care, we never have. Leaving on the backend of Buzzsaw’s 20th has only demonstrated a vibrant tapestry of progressive, critical thinkers who don’t give a fuck. There will always be progress to stand for; ideologies to adopt, consider or reject; and of course writers with many important things to say.

To Brennan, my future MOC Editor; I have full confidence that you will criticize what needs to be criticized, encourage writers to examine alternative viewpoints, and to do it all with a warm consideration that I’ve already seen you use.

Also, please send me Tik Toks (sorry I had to).

And that’s the end. A warm breeze is carried in the early whispers of spring and I hang my editorial cap up as I retire to move on, as we all will have to do when our final issue comes along. Though taped together, I feel whole and fully confident in saying that Buzzsaw was my one perfect college experience, through lessons that I wanted to learn and lessons I didn’t. I wrote, I edited, I learned, and this is all I could’ve ever aspired to, in Buzzsaw and beyond.

mateo flores, moc editor

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Seven semesters as editor, over a dozen issues completed, and way too many pieces I worked on with writers for me to count: this is my last issue as editor, and naturally, my mind goes to mathematize and to put a quantitative value on my experience. After working with words for so long, I should have broken that habit by now.

I suppose a numerical value is a way to conceptualize my time with a magazine where words can’t. I became interested in Buzzsaw Magazine second semester of freshman year because I wanted more experience in editing. I was nervous and way out of my element. But just as quickly as that feeling had emerged, another one took its place: belonging.

And it’s all due to the fact that at Buzzsaw Magazine, you’re family.

Over the course of seven semesters, there will always be new faces joining the team, old faces returning from abroad. I have had the privilege of observing the changes not only on the team but with my writers, too. I’m so excited for the work of veteran writers, an excitement I can’t begin to describe. And I want to welcome new writers into my writerly arms and support their work regardless of their writing experience. I am beyond privileged to have had the chance to be in other editors’ and writers’ lives, even if for a brief time.

So all these comings and goings, passing and staying, there was the one constant: a family. We are a family. Buzzsaw will always be a family for whomever. They certainly gave me a family when I needed it.

Hm, I guess I could find the words to conceptualize what Buzzsaw is. Seven semesters, dozens of issues, too many pieces: these quantifications don’t compare to the laughs, the dedication, and the all-around alternative times I had at this magazine.

kimberly caceci, prose & cons editor

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photo by Joe Minissale, Photography Editor

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prose &cons

Positive

by Gabrielle Topping

I thrive on positivity.

However, the connotation of ‘positive’ has been tainted.

And I hope for a negative.

My family and I have been self-quarantining.

My dad was considered an ‘essential’ employee.

So, he continued to commute to work in NYC. Coughing.

Exhaustion.

Shortness of Breath.

Loss of taste.

Fever.

It’s unfair.

That the one time we’re all home We have to keep our distance.

That we can’t even eat dinner together anymore Because then we would be too close.

I crave human connection.

I miss my parents and my sister.

But these are the sacrifices We have to make to protect our health And the health of others.

Low oxygen levels led to a trip to urgent care.

And an ambulance ride to the hospital.

It’s a privilege to be alive.

I’m hopeful we will gain strength, That the world will be kinder, And light will outshine darkness.

My dad tested positive for COVID-19.

I thrive on positivity.

He was hospitalized For five days.

He was diagnosed with Coronavirus And bacterial pneumonia.

But that doesn’t mean that darkness doesn’t exist.

Now he is in total isolation In the farthest room of our house.

A tank of oxygen is his only companion For at least three more weeks.

We are physically distancing ourselves from one another.

We wash our hands constantly, Wear face masks when close by, And disinfect as often as possible.

It’s tough.

Living in the same house But not being able to hug one another.

Living in the same house But not being able to spend time together.

My beautiful and independent great-grandmother With the purest soul and kindest heart, Who lived in her own home, And never drank or smoked a day in her life, Was hospitalized and tested positive for COVID-19.

She raised three children, Had seven grandchildren And eight great-grandchildren.

She died peacefully at 93-years-old.

As much as we love and miss her on Earth, I find comfort in knowing That she has been reunited With her husband and son in heaven.

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Among Goldenrod

by Greta Unetich; photography by Mae McDermott Goldenrod air spirals and drifts between us, Winding itself lazily around the stems of ironweed and Indian paintbrushes and tiny English daisies I slid in your backpack straps, Quiet breath trailing me past water, from rich, late afternoon to a fraction of long shadows, A fraction of the stars.

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I steal your eyes for secrets

by Julia Dath Riddled in between the shelves of my mind, I keep a piece of you. It’s stored beside the memory of strumming a simple guitar chord pattern that I looked up on my phone. When I finish, you look at the planes of my fingertips and laugh at the angry red stripes they have from pressing down on the steely strings. I’m a beginner. I don’t have calluses yet.

And then your head tips up and for an instant, we are locked together.

My whole body goes still, and all sound is sucked out of our universe into a vacuum of silence. The guitar sits soundless in my lap, and I am thinking that the back porch light is giving you odd shadows. It is building shafts of light that highlight your cheeks but shade your chin. You do not glow. You do not fade. I watch you closely as you watch me, the instrument forgotten.

Between these thoughts, I am a robber; I take something all for myself. Those eyes of yours, they’re wood fraying to evergreen, a hazel center flecked with jade light. I had never noticed before the true color of them: both green and brown. I want them in my mind, in my memory so as not to be lost, though you have not given them to me.

I take them for my memory, lock them up in a place you will never see.

For a moment I wonder if you see in me what you have lost, the secret that I have taken your eyes and hidden their image to be puzzled over when I am alone. My heartbeat stammers in my chest at the thought of you knowing, the thought of you seeing the piece of you I have chosen to steal for myself.

The guitar passes from my lap to yours and you begin to strum, the skin built strongly on your fingers from years of experience. I am listening, but my mind is reeling. I am watching those eyes closely. Your head bobs softly as you find a rhythm and I scoot slowly forward, crossing the small distance between us so that our kneecaps are brushing against each other.

I will smile when you’re done. I will ask you to play another song to which you will agree, eager to show off your talent. But I know what I have taken, it is those eyes. The memory of them is wholly visceral and starts an itch in my brain that I know I will never shake.

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Breakfast at the Diner

by Lorelei Horrell “More coffee?” I ask loudly to the man on the other side of the counter. Still no response.

I see a couple of my regulars glance at me and shrug apologetically as if his behavior is their fault. The stranger with short-cropped black hair, thick-frame glasses, a large crucifix necklace, and a puffy, bright red coat, however, continues to stare at the checkered counter, intently watching his own fingers dance atop it.

He was already strange enough from his first step into the diner. I heard the bell on the door clank, cutting above the quiet conversations of the few customers, the soft Pop Top 50 on the radio, and the ever-present hum of fluorescent lights, and there he was in the doorway, wearing pitch-black sunglasses.

I’ve got the graveyard shift on Fridays, 11 p.m. to 7 a.m.—terrible, but by far not the worst job I’ve had since dropping out of school. This shift is quiet, just me and the cook, Jonathan, and almost always the same handful of customers. The worst job, by far, was babysitting.

Before I can pursue that miserable train of thought, in walks this guy at 3 a.m., wearing sunglasses. I was four hours into a long shift, my feet aching and head blurring with boredom. The crankiness was definitely setting in. Ellen, I reprimanded myself, your mother didn’t raise you to be so judgemental. Maybe he’s blind. Then, he took off his sunglasses to reveal those other glasses underneath. He sat down, didn’t say a word, and only nodded when I asked if he wanted coffee. I started to feel uneasy.

Now, two hours later, I ask him about coffee again. The sun is starting to rise, bringing a few more solitary customers with it. He ignores my offer, so I suck in a sigh and simply work my way past him down the counter towards more pleasant customers. I take a few orders, passing them on to Jonathan, sliding back into my usual rhythm and almost forgetting about the stranger.

“Hey, Ellen,” pipes up one of my regulars, “you can just keep the coffee coming. Deal?”

I smile and nod, but a voice in the back of my head reminds me I’ve been making more than my fair share of deals recently.

When I finally remember to attempt to serve the stranger again, he’s reading the newspaper, entirely hiding his face behind it. The headline on the back of the paper flashes like fire to my weary eyes: “Family of Four Dead in Tragic Accident.”

Next to it, there is a photo of a house I used to know very well, burnt beyond repair, a familiar-looking car crashed straight through the front wall.

My breath quickens and in a blink the man goes from casually reading to slamming the paper onto the counter, pointing at the headline with an accusatory finger.

“You.” I stumble back like the word itself pushed me, grateful for the counter between us. The aggression pours out of him in waves. I trip on a broom leaning against the wall behind me, spilling the coffee in my hand all over my apron in the process.

It’s burning and burning, and the broom takes down a few dirty mugs with it, cracking and shattering all over the pristine white tile. A couple of patrons look over, startled, but I only see the man and his terrifying, electrocuting gaze. Like someone has held a magnifying glass in front of my eyes, I notice his lips moving almost imperceptibly, and while I can’t hear what he’s saying, I know deep in my soul that he has been whispering into the ear of the universe since he entered this diner. Burning, it’s burning.

It’s like he branded the photo of the house into my eyelids, that terrible house with the terrible family within. I babysat for them for one month and they worked me like a machine, made me do things I can’t bring myself to repeat aloud, and then spit me back out without so much as paying me for my trouble, with a threat to ruin my reputation if I ever spoke any ill against them.

After that, I had few options to make them pay.

“I- I’m just,” I try to focus, to clear my head enough to speak. The world is fogging before my eyes. “I’m going to go clean up, folks.”

I flee into the bathroom. The last thing I see is the man’s coat, the color of fresh blood.

Once inside the grimy door, I double over, unable to breathe. Every inhale is punctuated by a cough. I think—I can’t be sure—but I think there’s something coming out of me.

Swirling behind my eyes are thoughts of deals and bargains, dark smoke, and looking into things I shouldn’t have.

I cough and cough and cough in front of the sink, and there is a sensation that something grabbing my hand has let go, and when I finally look up at my reflection, it is in horror, because my neck is black and cracked and scorched. My eyes, too, are as colorless and unfeeling as the night sky.

“You,” he’d said.

Me. I wished that gruesome tragedy upon that family. Me.

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sawdust

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Man No Longer Fears Death Refuses to social distance // by Peter Tkaczyk, Staff Writer

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e are living in a time of uncertainty, in which some have termed a time of fear. It is difficult to disagree with this entirely, but that just means that in times like these, we have to cherish those who display fearlessness in the face of crisis all the more. Just yesterday, our community acquired such a hero, and a great deal of buzz has already built up around him.

I interviewed Randal Penderton, the man in question, this morning in a local coffee shop, our chairs already helpfully positioned a respectful distance apart when we got there. He was a short man, well-dressed and clean-cut, with eyes that looked as though he wished direly to claw his way out of his skin. He was polite and friendly, and sipped his coffee with careful measure as we spoke. To hear him tell it, this was where it all started.

“I was just thinking to myself, I’d already lost control of everything else in my life,” Penderton said. “I can’t go to work, see my friends, see my family. I wasn’t going to let it take anything else from me, no matter how small.” He arrived early in the morning, just after the shop opened. His order was delivered to him via a quite ingenious pulley system. “As I sat there drinking my coffee, prepared just how I like it, I realized I was entirely unafraid of death.”

Following this revelation, Penderton went on something of a rampage. “First, I went about telling people how I thought about them. My boss, my parents, my siblings, my cats. The cats didn’t seem to care.” He takes a sip. “My boss did, though.

My boss did.” It did not end there, either. “For a while I just wandered around, looking for something that might make me feel something, anything, again. I tried to punch a police officer, just to see what would happen, but it didn’t work because they all kept running away from me.”

It was while walking the empty streets that Penderton found his opportunity for heroism. In the line for the post office, a tragedy had occurred. A young girl had wandered away from her mother and had become trapped within a triangle of three people who were six feet apart from each other. They could not move without entering the space of someone else, and the girl could not leave without coming too close to one of them. Rescue authorities on the scene were still debating where to find a stick large enough to poke her out of the situation when Penderton swooped in and, using his uniquely caffeinated body to speed past anyone who might have wished to stop him, grabbed the child and safely chucked her into the arms of her mother before wandering back into the city.

When asked why he chose to go out for coffee that fateful morning, Randal replied with one word: “Spite”. Spite against a technically unalive organism may not seem productive, but to quote Randal, “You’ve gotta hold onto spite, even when you’ve got nothing else left. It’s times like this when more people than ever before need to know that they can cling on to spite, and it’s times like this when spite is the most important thing in the universe.”

To celebrate his good deed, Penderton plans to throw several parties for himself which he intends to attend alone. We wish him the best of luck.

Peter Tkaczyk is a third-year writing major who fears nothing except Steve Buscemi. You can reach them at ptkaczyk@ithaca.edu.

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Family Builds Boat Out of Flex Tape, Wants to Create an Arc to Escape Coronavirus They imagined everything they could do with the power of flex tape //

by Carolyn Langer, Contributing Writer

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As Roman Catholics, we believe in miracles,” said the confident sixty-three-year-old Jerome Diluvian, standing tall with one hand in the newly built arc constructed solely out of flex tape (and I’m not masking the truth here).

COVID-19 has been the elephant in the arc for several months now, but there will be no elephants aboard the greatest voyage 2020 has to offer. The Diluvians are a family from Apocalypse Peaks, Antarctica and consist of six members: Jerome, the primary architect, Cherise, the seventy-nine-year-old craftswoman, and their four Jigokudanis, which are monkeys native to Antarctica. These monkeys specifically have their hands in the project.

Jerome created the blueprint and gave the rest of the family the responsibility to build it. The oldest, Chunk, bites off the appropriate length of flex tape and passes it off to the youngest, Pinky, who hands the piece to Cherise.

Cherise adds the tape to the structure and then the twins, Bane and Naina, solidify and test the quality of the creation.

“These monkeys are more trustworthy than any human child I’ve ever seen, so I know that this arc will hold us all in together,” notes Jerome without a single quandary.

Cherise commented that the monkeys were “raised as religious creatures under God. When I first saw the virus on cable, I was sitting next to my homemade model of Noah’s divine creation. They were saying how we’d be forced

to stay inside, and I knew that my babies weren’t going to be interested in that option. So, I did some research. Phil Swift really has a way with words...”

Phil Swift is the CEO of Swift Response, the American company specializing in adhesive bonding products, which spiked in revenue after making $8,400 in the only sale they’ve ever made. The Diluvians were the first and only individuals to buy Flex Tape. Building an arc in order to escape the coronavirus was essential because “it’s only a matter of time before she sweeps these parts.” All six members of The Diluvian family won’t let this virus wash them away, as they all plan to begin traveling as a unit in the weeks to come. I’m not sure they even know when.

They say the project took 489 hours straight using 1400 roles of this strong, rubberized, waterproof tape.

The arc turned out to have enough room in order to social distance two of the world’s largest crocodiles aboard this flex tape masterpiece. Phil Swift sawed a boat in half and The Diluvians built an arc: there are two kinds of people in this world.

Apocalypse Peaks is pretty much desolate, containing no locals who have witnessed the Diluvians at work. (I wondered, “why were they worried if no one was around to expose them?” I digress, people cope in mysterious ways.)

Carolyn Langer is a third-year clinical health studies major who has been taped to the ceiling for a week.

You can reach them at clanger@ithaca.edu.

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Street Mimes Adopt Glass Boxes to

Stop the Spread of Germs Question the way their art is evolving // by Carolyn Langer, Contributing Writer; art by Adam Dee, Art Editor

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paint myself the same way every morning: white as the base all over my face and then triangular eyebrows above my lids. I learned this technique from another mime on the street in Paris six years ago when I traveled for business at the beginning of my career. I learn a lot of techniques from the others.

I wear the same outfit every day: black pants and shoes, a white-and-black-striped long sleeve with red suspenders, and white gloves. This seems to be the standard outfit because when people see me, they know what I’m all about. Life is a routine and I do my part by abiding by the rules. Now with new precautions on social interactions, the realm of regulations is larger than I could’ve ever imagined as a beginner craftsman.

Last week, the sun was gleaming and there were less than several individuals out in the rays. With every day getting hotter, being outside all day is more tolerable than it was in the winters of 1962. As the heat in the air increases, the glass box I am now required to mime in becomes a fiery glass case of emotions. I am trained not to be claustrophobic, could you imagine a mime afraid of small spaces? All I want is to build my own box because honestly, glass is not my medium of choice. I now need to carry my

Carolyn Langer is a third-year clinical health studies major who has spent all of quarantine making bracelets out of invisible rope. You can reach them at clanger@ithaca.edu.

spray bottle that I was gifted in Disneyland for performing in front of Walt himself in order to stay cool during these isolated times. Schools can change math, but mimes now need to corrupt their craft with tangible accessories. I suppose this is the way the art is evolving…

When I observe the others, they’ve left blue-taped squares several feet away from each other and only allow the audience to participate from their respective locations.

I’ve noticed mimes outside of the box who wear masks and practice social distancing techniques by using imaginary tape measures. I think that this technique is better than nothing at all, but it really disappoints me to see mimes not taking any precautions. I wonder if they ever want to mime again.

I hope to pass along some rules for safety, but I respect the craft too much to speak.

I’m noticing less bystanders and passersby. I usually get a few kids a day, followed by their guardians yanking the opposite arm of my general direction. Nowadays, most of my audience shows appreciation from their windows. I’ve always been disconnected from interaction because I solely communicate with body language. I don’t think I mind the distance, I just want to break the glass box and run away.

Anywhere I’ll go, I’ll be at risk of smelling farts.

Zanzegrab the Unutterer of Words

Not Immune to Your Toilet Paper Hoarding Panic buying affects us all // by Peter Tkaczyk, Staff Writer

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anic buying. During this ongoing pandemic, everybody has seen what it does. People sweeping store shelves clean and leaving little for the next shopper in need. Fresh produce, frozen foods and most notoriously toilet paper are only a few of the products affected. It is an issue that can have an impact on anyone, and not just the ones you’d expect. To learn more, last night in my dreams we interviewed the Cold God Zangrezeb, the Unutterer of Words. While it has traditionally been a deity associated with unsettling silence, it has decided that it must speak up on this issue. Note that Zangrezeb communicates in terms impossible to translate to the limited human understanding of the cosmos, and as such transcribing direct quotes was not possible.

Zangrezeb does not require toilet paper, as it expels no waste on this plane of existence. However, those within its circle of contacts, whether that be family, worshippers or that spindly-armed fish man in the sewers who intones Zangrezeb’s name while he kills, the effects of the shortage on their lives ripple outwards far more than you’d expect, and it’s far more than just the obvious.

While Zangrezeb’s cultists are having difficulties keeping their facilities stocked, especially given their positions scattered through small New England towns, you never know when the consequences of an issue like panic buying might pop up. For instance, just in the past week, a ritual, which had taken eighteen full hours to perform, was ruined when a man wandered into the clearing where it was being held, apparently intent on using the ancient, shadow-haunted

woodland as a bathroom. He couldn’t even be sacrificed. If he was willing to walk around that far out of the way outside, he either didn’t care about getting infected, in which case his blood could not be trusted, or he had already caught the disease and recovered, in which case he was too valuable as a source of blood transfusions. After all, making valuable medical supplies such as clean, fresh blood rarer will do nothing to bring this crisis to a swift end.

It does not stop there, either. Due to the failure of the ritual, Zangrezeb was not able to send an avatar into the world. Because of this, it was not able to visit its daughter’s birthday party. As a direct result of that, Zangrezeb’s daughter banished an entire small New England town to the Void of Salt and Howling. So think before you buy. You never know what a little greed today might mean for someone tomorrow.

On a final note, Zangrezeb made clear that the panic buying behavior of humans was deeply illogical. Substances such as toilet paper and paper towels were in short supply, while objects that every human must consume on a regular basis, such as food and mattresses and water, continued to sit on store shelves. Zangrezeb further noted that such irrationality will no longer be an issue once it fully enters our reality and replaces the human capacity for speech with love for Zangrezeb.

If you’d like to learn more about Zangrezeb and its worship, go to the place that will be whispered to you in your dreams tonight and open the box you find lying there. After that, it will all seem perfectly clear to you.

Peter Tkaczyk is a third-year writing major who has created a new type of toilet paper using the DVD art from old Barbie movies. You can reach them at ptkaczyk@ithaca.edu.

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Tasty, Heart-Healthy

Bunker Meal Tips These will leave your comrades drooling // by Sarah Borsari, Staff Writer

H

ello all! And welcome to this week’s installment of quarantine kitchen! I know that the days keep getting longer and longer and the only reminder you have of the passage of time is dinner with your family, which is usually short and emotionally draining, and a major interruption of your hours of staring at the ceiling, talking to your imaginary friends, sending out distress signals with morse code, watching an old VHS copy of The Rescuers until it’s all you remember of the outside world, attempting to ‘feng shui’ your space by rearranging the plastic table set, futon, and semi-nude photo of Jennifer Lopez again, and re-reading the family copy of Lord of the Flies then being awkwardly suspicious of each other for a few days.

So here are some easy and fun meal tips to spice up your forced socialization!

Are you running low on spices? Since running the most minor errand has become a constant reminder of our mortality and the hopelessness of our current situation I know it can be tough to keep the pantry stocked for every meal, and we have an easy fix for that! Simply collect your tears into a jar and boil them down for fresh salt! This easy fix can be done at any time and is a great personal touch for any meal. And while I know rat droppings don’t sound appetizing, they can add a unique kick to a bland dish!

Haven’t been able to get fresh food in weeks? Simply put your canned veggies into pots of dirt! This will give the allusion of freshness, provide a fun activity for the whole family, and also give your meal a nice earthy taste.

Another easy tip is to set traps for fresh meat. Rats and mice are an easy to catch option that can provide a hearty meal in a pinch. Just make sure you give some time between each trap so there is time for more rat children to grow; otherwise, the supply might be scarce. Another easy way to get fresh meat is to draw straws among the survivors to see who will be consumed by the group! This method can get a little dicey when it comes to preparation so save it for a special occasion, and don’t forget to cook the meat slowly for a soft and savory meal and to allow enough time to pass that the memories fade.

That’s all for today! I hope these tips have helped! Time to give the morse code light back to the “SOS” guy, and don’t forget to signal back with any questions or tips you have!

Sarah Borsari is a first-year cinema & photography major who has spent quarantine building a shrine to Gordon Ramsey.

You can reach them at sborsari@ithaca.edu.

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10 Things You, Specifically, Need to be Doing During Miss Quarantine Yeah, you // by Adam Messinger, Contributing Writer

I

f you’re like me—special and unique in every way—then you might have found yourself in a cute unexpected quarantinemoment where all of your ambitions for the future have been dashed or momentarily put on hold.

Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s fine that you’re stuck at home on a Friday night! In fact, you’re being trendy as hell. And to make your life a little better, I’ve decided to share with you some super cool and fun activities to make your quarantine a goddamn smash.

1.

Get outta bed

You’re probably already mad at me. Who gave me the right to say that? But this is how all great things happen. You think Robyn wrote “Dancing on My Own” from her bed? No, bitch, she wrote it from the corner. So get out of bed and face another gorgeous day in Corona Town.

2.

Thank our God for Being Alive

Okay, now that you’re out of bed, it’s time for you to begin your day. And how else should one be greeting a new day under government-sanctioned regulations, than taking a moment to thank the Lord for all the gifts that we have received?

Pro Tip: There are absolutely no regulations on how many times you can pray in one day. So really go for it with this one.

3.

Get Your Shit Together

Just do it. Start and do it. Get your shit. And then just get it together! I promise you will be so much better off. But just remember that you have to do all of it, and if you don’t, then think of all the people outside who are.

4.

Start Your Passion Project

Once your shit is together, you can take a moment to reflect on how great you are at completing tasks. No one is better at time management and following trends than you are, you special little guy who is only afraid of birds sometimes.

Once you are done congratulating yourself, it’s time to begin that novel/screenplay/painting/organizational regime you’ve been meaning to get to, but life kept getting in the way! Well, you know what? Life as we know it is over. There is no ending and there is no beginning. There is no future, there is no past; there is barely a present. So write that knock-off of Juno. You go, girl!

5.

Like, clean your room or something!

So when you’re finished with your passion project, and your shit is all neatly put together, and it’s not even noon yet, then like, I dunno, clean your room??

Yeah. Yeah, clean your room. That’s always a good idea. Go crazy and maybe even get that vacuum out! Disinfect every surface until you forget that every YA dystopian novel you’ve ever read is about to come to life before your very eyes. Also, water your plants!

6.

Annoy your housemates???

If you are lucky enough to be spending this quarantine moment with someone special like a step-mom or a sublet, then take this time to go enrage anyone in your general vicinity with your antics. If their door is closed, fucking whip it open! If they’re asleep, that’s a perfect time for Ke$ha in The Shared Spaces. If they are notoriously neat, go ahead and use their toothbrush!

I don’t care. Whatever YOU gotta do to stay grounded, bby. It’s tough out there.

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7.

Ahh jeez like just stand around?

???????? ground yourself in your reality ??? feel…alive ???}<&=l1[pe,qdk 8.

Say enough is enough and take matters into your own hands

Maybe you feel your shit starting to not be as together as it was earlier, so it’s time for you to do something drastic to your body. Claim ownership of this stupid flesh vessel.

Now is the time for you to learn how to give stick-n-pokes! Or to make your roommate that probably hates you now, pierce your ears Parent Trap-style with a thumbtack! But more likely, you will probably decide to just dye your hair again, you simple bitch.

9.

Dye your hair.

Maybe a primary color? Something that would make your Gramma say “I miss the old Kanye.”

Whatever you decide on, absolutely do not read any instructions or watch any tutorials because you are a baddie who has come so far entirely on your own.

10. Say fuck it and watch Glee When your hair inevitably comes out a different color than you planned, and after your momentary break down where you realize that maybe you don’t have the personality for a pandemic, center yourself and remember that no one is going to see you for months, mama, so the only solution—besides a complete dismantling of capitalism, followed by civil unrest that brings this entire fucking establishment to the ground—is to watch Glee.

And I know what you’re thinking: Glee is for losers, Glee is for people who wanted to major in musical theatre—and honestly, I hear you. But this situation we’re in is so unprecedented, that it’s time for you to swallow your pride—and a mixed drink of whatever you have left in your fridge—and return to a simpler time between the years of 2009-2014 (yes, Glee seriously was still on in 2014) because that’s all that can be asked of you right now. It’s pretty fucking shitty out there and you deserve to have this moment for yourself.

And always remember that Jesus (Santana Lopez) loves you, and Trump fired the entire Pandemic response team in 2018.

Adam Messinger is a fourth-year writing major who is definitely not having a breakdown. You can reach them at amessinger@ithaca.edu.

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We are living in times of great uncertainty, causing many people to start asking themselves the big questions: What is the meaning of life?

Does God exist? Are humans inherently good?

These are the burning questions we have here at Buzzsaw.

buzzsaw asks why... ... I feel so lost without my face wash? ... the hell Trump told all of us to kill ourselves by injecting bleach to prevent contraction of COVID-19? ... I feel like I am living in a Jane Austen novel? ... the lines at Trader Joe’s are so goddamn long? ... I value my latte over my well-being? ... I’m starting to enjoy hanging out with my parents? ... I can’t remember what the sun feels like? ... my banana bread doesn’t look as nice as everyone else’s? ... my dog is my one remaining tie to reality? ... Tiger King is a thing? ... I am suddenly obsessed with embrdoiery?

And why I can’t stop doing it? Help? ... I have an intense emotional connection with the UPS driver? ... Anna Wintour hasn’t invited me to the Met Gala after my revolutionary Zoom fashion show?

... a pandemic was required to force me to look inward?

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