A Step-By-Step Guide to Telling Men In You Life About Your Accomplishments So They Don’t Feel Threatened // By Lily Tollin, Contributing Writer
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n an age where men are so respectful (like, not condescending at all), I think it is important for us, as women, to make sure we finally treat them as well as they treat us. This is the point of equality, right? Although there is nothing I love more than making men insecure, we do have to draw the line somewhere. We need to inform them about our passions and accomplishments in a way that they respect us, while still remaining humble. I present to you a step by step guide to get you just slightly less recognition than you deserve-- without stepping on his fragile ego. Step 1: Casually be sure to mention the difference between your salaries. If you really want the men in your life to respect and admire your accomplishments, the best place to start is to mention the difference between your salaries every chance you get. The more backhanded you can be, the better! Be sure to mention it especially when money or salary has no relevance to the conversation, or even when he’s seeming to be extremely proud of something he’s passionate about. For example, if he’s talking about his hard-earned work promotion, be sure to mention your own work accomplishments in such a way that reminds him how imbalanced the workplace is. Step 2: Always interrupt him when he’s speaking. Don’t ever let him finish a sentence. Nothing he’s talking about could possibly be as important as whatever major accomplishment you just achieved, and he should learn to be comfortable with taking the backseat to your otherworldly productivity. Even if it was important, I’m sure you could explain it better; finishing his sentences for him is not irritating at all, and will definitely make him feel more understood. This in turn will make him much more willing to listen to you talk about yourself more in the future.
Step 4: Only mention topics that you know he’s an expert in. If he starts talking about his blackbelt in karate or is proud of his martial arts training, be sure to list every bar fight you’ve ever seen or been in! It’s important to master the art of using his accomplishments as a reason to talk about yourself, no matter how loosely related they are. Step 5: Be sure to comment on what he’s wearing, since he’s obviously dressing for you. His jeans are always way too tight, so make sure to tell him! It’s not that you don’t trust him or think that he can’t take care of himself, but you know how other women are. You just want him to be safe, that’s all. Don’t let him go too far the other way either. He should know that his appearance reflects onto you, and you can’t let your reputation be tarnished by going out with a man who can’t dress. Step 6: Call him nicknames in front of professional friends and colleagues. Referring to him constantly as “sweetheart” or something similar in front of his friends and colleagues is a great way to alter their view of him. It's so endearing and humanizing to make sure that all the people whose opinions he values know that he is your significant other. It’s perfectly healthy to not let him have a life where he can be seen as his own individual being. As you can see, there are so many ways to ensure that there is absolutely no power dynamic in your relationship. By following these easy steps, you can freely talk about your accomplishments in a way that the men in your life will never feel threatened or insecure. Never let a man or genuine human connection distract you from what really matters: yourself <3
Step 3: Always over explain. Everything you do is always outstanding and original, so it’s crucial, and actually beneficial to him to explain every background detail. If it’s something academics related, you get bonus points for clarifying something that’s related to his degree. Is he a business major? Try your hand at talking about your investments, and do everything you can to ensure that he leaves feeling as though he handles his own finances poorly.
Lilly Tollin is a first- year integrated marketing communications major who is avoiding telling men about their flourishing buzzsaw career. You can reach them at ltollin@ithaca.edu
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